Your analytic posts are the best:) Could you talk a bit about the scene on the roof of the embassy between Inej and Kaz? I have so many questions. They might die, so why does Inej pick that moment to tell Kaz she is leaving the Dregs? Why not wait until they are on the boat? Also why does Kaz rub her wrist (through the gloves, of course) where the temporary menagerie tattoo is? Why does Inej touch Kaz's cheek? And why does Inej tell him she will die unafraid?
Kaz's POV chapter previous to this scene is the only one where he doesn't really think about Inej. He is totally focused on finding Pekka in the prison. So, I was surprised when he said to Inej "I want you to know..." What did he want her to know? (I'm sure with her hand on his face --the first positive physical contact he's had in almost a decade--and her question to him about dying unafraid, his mind was reeling. It's no wonder he couldn't formulate an answer to her question).
Hello and welcome to episode one of DK Finally Gets It Together And Answers Her Asks Because It's About Damn Time (working title)
I am so sorry you sent this such a long time ago, but thank you so much for asking it and I hope my terrible answeringness (that's a word now, I've decided) hasn't put you off my stuff, I promise I'm not ignoring you on purpose, when I first read this I thought it was really interesting and I needed some time to think about it and now it's so long later it might even be a year and yeah, I'm sorry, but I'm here - let's go!
So I think that the reason Inej chooses to tell Kaz she's leaving the Dregs in this moment is for the very reason you voiced: they might die tonight, and they might not see each other again before that happens. Inej comments earlier on in the book, when they get hot chocolate at a cafe in Djerholm and wait for Nina to return, that whenever she talks about Ravka or about going home Kaz turns away and tries to find another conversation - in this case I think he starts chatting to Jesper - so we already have this idea that he doesn't want to confront the truth of the situation, which is that Ketterdam is a very temporary part of Inej's life. For Kaz the city is what fuels him and he needs it to enact his vengeance, but he also never sees himself leaving it after Rollins is dead and I think that's really interesting because he almost doesn't know how to comprehend any other existence - I've spoken before about how I don't think that killing Rollins will ever be enough for him and that his revenge is essentially an addiction. It's possible that he will one day be able to find the future and the relief that he needs in Inej, but right now not only does he struggle to view himself as ever leaving Ketterdam but he also struggles with the idea of being alone there - as far as he can see Nina and Matthias will go home together/find a new home together, Wylan will make peace with his father over whatever their arguement was and return to the Geldstradt, Jesper will pay off his debts only to carry on digging himself in deeper whilst Kaz is forced to watch him destroy himself, and Inej will leave and let Ketterdam become a brief blip in her life. I think that, for all he doesn't want to care about the others, Kaz has a very real fear of being an impermanent, small aspect of the others' lives whilst they are such a big aspect of his. And the most frightening part of that for him is to not have Inej with him anymore, the one person he can confide in, seemingly the only person he talks to without specific job-related purposes except maybe Jesper, and the only person he can remove his gloves on front of - I think this inner conflict is really well presented in the Bathroom Scene when he thinks about how he'd concocted a thousand schemes to bind her to him, but that ultimately he knew he was in the wrong and so he paid off her contract with Per Haskell and returned it to her. But from Inej's perspective, considering she doesn't know how he feels about her at this time, I think this could almost look cold. He doesn't want to know about her home, her life, who she was supposed to be, and what she's going to do with her future, and she may even be internalising the idea that the idea she can pay off her debts then up and leave angers him because we know that she massively internalised his description of her as "an investment" with damaging psycological consequences including her belief that she would not come to save her when she was taken by Van Eck and this even extending so far as the quote "He'll never trade if you break me". This is a gut-wrenching moment in Crooked Kingdom, when Inej is forced to admit that she genuinely believes Kaz will not care about her anymore if he "has no use for me anymore", whilst the reader knows that Kaz is losing his mind over rescuing her.
And all of that, as Kaz points out to himself on Black Veil during the "I would come for you" scene, is borne of real actions he completes that, although in a far less intentional way, actually align with some of the abuse that Inej has endured; the dehumanisation she experienced from being "bought and sold like a bolt of cotton" and the way she was denied her own identity to the point that she almost cried when she heard her own name said aloud can both be directly linked to the multiple times Kaz refers to her as an "investment" and the way he doesn't want to hear about her life. And his intentions are never to hurt her in the way he does or in the way she was hurt in the past, but it is also more than possible that some of this is part of the way Kaz distances himself from the others and pushes them away. There's a quote I think about a lot when Inej is horrified to see that Jackal masks, sacred symbols to Suli religion and culture, are sold like "party favours" and worn by pleasure seekers in Ketterdam and Kaz dismisses her emotions, and he then says "In moments like that, she thought he might hate him". I remember reading that and thinking 'yeah, because you just defended the appropriation of her culture, which she herself was forced to appropriate for a year whilst enduring horrific abuse, it would be more than fair to be mad at you right now' but I wonder whether that's almost what he wanted? I talked about it in my "Treasure of my heart" analysis as well where he uses a sarcastic expression of his real feelings to mock her so that's she'll be upset and he come somehow justify that it's therefore not worth liking her because she doesn't return his feelings; it's a self-destructive mechanism, but without meaning to it has the potential to hurt Inej as well.
Wow, if there were awards for tangents I think I'd win them. But my point here is that I think this is exactly why she chooses to tell him in this moment, because she has to say it and she has to make him hear it in case they don't make it out the other side of this night. It's also possible that Inej wants to have her dream said out loud in case she dies tonight. Although she was unable to voice it to Nina because she didn't think it was ready to be shared, that was when they were still following the original plan. Now that everything has spiralled very quickly out of control and into a new, far more daring plan with a lot more moving parts, and that will directly involve revealing themselves to be infiltrating the Ice Court, Inej knows there's a very good chance she won't survive the night. And if she isn't going to make it, she needs someone to know what she intends to do, it needs to be said out loud so that it's real and it means something.
Wondering what Kaz wanted Inej to know is one of the things about these books that has at some point or other kept me awake at night, and honestly my personal final conclusion is that I don't think he knew what he was going to say, but that I think this could have been his first attempt at a confession. This scene bears explicit parallels to the Bathroom Scene in Crooked Kingdom, as you said it's the first time they touch and both of them are greatly vulnerable in each moment; this is a moment of fear, of trust, of realisation, and I think for both of them it arguable is to some extent a confession. I think Inej tells Kaz that she will die unafraid as almost the beginning of what eventually becomes "I will have you without armour", she is directly challenging him in the way he hides his emotions but she has still seen them, and she directly telling him that she is trying to heal and that they only have a chance if he tries to heal as well. Inej doesn't tell Kaz she will only have him without his armour to say that he isn't good enough for her as he is or that he needs to fix himself alone for the final goal of being with her, but she is saying that if he continues down this path and never lets anyone help him and never makes any attempt at healing, that she will not be able to stay with him because she has to try to heal as well and she knows she would have to pull herself away from that situation to be able to do so. I really hope this makes sense. But I think that the touching of Kaz's cheek and the touching of the temporary menagerie tattoo could very much be linked to this idea that the confession has begun or will be coming and I also think it bears resemblance to the Bathroom Scene and I really adore that as a paralell
Thank you so so much for your question, I am so sorry about how long it has taken me to respond but I hope that this was interesting and made sense. And I am planning on continuing to work through my inbox moving forwards, so stay tuned for episode two, and please don't be put off form keeping asks coming I promise I am making my way through them! <3
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Happy one year anniversary to season 2 of Shadow and Bone
Thank you for all the memories you've brought me so far and for introducing me to this fandom where I've met so many amazing people. I'm so excited for season 3 (yes, the show will be coming back because we will be bringing it back). I did watch season 1 when it came out (in 2021) but didn't pay attention, but then, when season 2 was about to come out, I rewatched season 1 and fell immediately in love. So here's to all the amazing memories and all the memories to come, I can't wait for the six of crows spin-off and season 3
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inej and kaz having issues with touch due to trauma. kaz and wylan drowning and being reborn in the ketterdam harbor. wylan and jesper feeling like they have to hide a part of themselves due to their fathers. jesper and nina being grisha with addictions. nina and matthias being raised as a weapon rather than a human. matthias and inej being deeply religious. inej and wylan making themselves smaller because of the abuse they suffered. wylan and matthias being forced into a life of crime. matthias and kaz losing their parents and siblings. kaz and jesper being thrown into the barrel because of reckless behavior involving money. all of these characters being so different yet so similar and forever interconnected with each other because they know that no one else will understand
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