#help me our government sucks ass | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

decolonize-the-left · 6 months

Note

You are literally going to get people killed by pushing them to vote third party. People voting third party is why Trump won in 2016, which allowed him to stack the Supreme Court with conservative garbage which is going to negatively affect us for DECADES to come (already has, since it led to the repeal of Roe v. Wade which has LITERALLY killed people). I'm baffled, because you've done so much good work on this website (like I still go back and regularly reread your posts on whiteness etc because they're so informative), but advocating for voting third party going into one of the most important elections in recent memory is actively harmful.

Like have you heard of Project 2025? In case you haven't it's literally like a 1000 page manifesto for the Republican party to reshape the federal government to essentially let the President become a dictator. It also expressly mentions plans to roll back rights for women, the LGBT community, and pretty much any other minority you can think of. I know things are bad now - not arguing that at all - but if Republicans win next year, things will get EXPONENTIALLY WORSE.

You can sit there and yell about Democrats being "just as bad" until you're blue in the face, but it's literally not true. The Democratic Party itself is obviously just another problematic institution and there are definitely Dems who showed their entire asses with supporting Israel, but like... Progressive Democrats do exist and while they're obviously not perfect, it's absolutely a step in the right direction. Not to mention Republicans literally need to cheat by gerrymandering and attacking voting rights for minorities in order to even get elected in a lot of places, whereas Democrats tend to win when more people are registered and actually show up to vote. They are not the same, and the harm they do is not the same.

Again, I have a lot of respect for the work you do, especially with your recent posts on the Palestinian genocide. But I vehemently disagree with your stance on voting third party in this upcoming election. Ideally I would love if we could vote third party and actually have multiple options that more accurately represent us as a population, but our current system is a two party one and unfortunately we literally do have to vote for the lesser of two evils, because one option sucks but preserves what little democracy we have (and gives us a chance of making it better) and one will literally bring genocide against trans people. I would personally rather not see that happen.

How can you say this and mention the Palestinian genocide in the same ask.

Democrats are getting people killed. In fact they're committing one of The worst crime against humanity possible and then only thing you're worried about is that things might get worse for gay people if a Republicans wins.

I'm the biggest queer I know. I'm native. I'm brown. I'm almost definitely on a watch list. And listen to me and understand the depth of my words when I say: my people have been oppressed the way Project2025 outlines.

And maybe you personally cared or helped us protest that. But most people didn't. In fact I can't remember the last time the US supported native rights at all.

But now that YOURE under threat I'm supposed to risk my life because the queer community can't be bothered to stop discoursing about neopronouns long enough to actual give an shit about saving the community?

Y'all got a lot of damn nerve, let me tell you.

Go bark up some other tree cuz this is not the one.

Also I'm not pushing anyone to vote 3rd party. I'm laying out facts. Facts are a Gallup poll says 63% of people would vote 3rd party. Facts are my Tumblr poll says that number is STILL at least 45% on the hellsite.

And since people are interested in voting 3rd party they should know their options. The people who say "I would vote 3rd party but they don't have support" also deserve to see the articles that said 63% of people would join them.

They deserve to know that 3rd parties currently hold a not insignificant amount percentage of support from the two main parties. 20% of votes. When 33% is an even split are good odds. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry, blue Fascists, but this country is in fact still a democracy and just because you Want people to vote blue doesn't mean they have to and you feeling they're the best doesn't make you right!

Other people aren't "wrong" for not wanting your conservative Jurassic party in power anymore.

They can vote how they want.

And if you see a poll that says 63% of people would rather NOT vote for either major party and your first thought is not: wow 63% is enough to elect someone we want, I'll support that.

And instead you go: how can I force them to vote for my party instead.

Then please understand it is not THEM splitting the vote. Biden will get MAYBE 40% votes. You gonna force 63% of the country to vote for someone they don't even want?

There's a name for that yeah?

How'd it work out in 2016 when y'all "forced" us to vote for Hillary by putting her on the ballot? She lost and she wasn't even actively commiting a genocide.

But you think Biden will not only earn votes from that 63% but he'll also win the election. Against trump. Which less blatantly shitty democrats have struggled to contend with?

Democrats are legitimately delusional.

Your problem is you see Democrats as being better than Republicans. While the rest of us see less and less of a difference every year. And you can only say you're "better" if you're different enough.

See this is what happens when you vote for the "lesser evil." Eventually that evil balances back out and you're left with the truth that your two main options are just evil.

Now the only people actually different enough to make that argument are third parties.

Coincidentally, that's what people are drawn to right now.

I know, go figure. It's almost like it makes sense to lose support when you consistently prop up shitty candidates nobody asked for every 4 years.

We do not have a two party system and you know that, that's why you sent this ask.

Cuz you're stressed dems might lose. Cuz you KNOW people have other options.

Good. Cuz they will lose if Biden is the democrat's nominee and Claudia de la Cruz stays in the race, which she will since she's running with PSL not democrats. So there's no competition. Her party is organized and chosen her and a VP already, she's guaranteed every one of their votes because her party works like a union does.

It's a wrap.

Biden can't use his "lesser evil" script with Claudia De La Cruz on the ballot actively challenging his genocide and imperialism.

Vote Claudia De La Cruz cuz you are a scooping water out of the Titanic trying to get 63% of Americans to think voting for a Genocidal warmonger is what's best for any of us, let alone the planet. And we didn't want him BEFORE he did any of this.

#asked #answered #voting

263 notes · View notes

blueberry-ovaries · 3 months

Text

CHAPTER TWO: MAYBE HELL IS A LARGE MOUNTAIN IN TOCCOA, GEORGIA

A/N: Welcome to chapter two of hiraeth! This one is a long one and i’m not to sure if i’m happy with how it turned out, but i didn’t want to not post something so here it is!

Word Count: 2.3k

Content Warnings: period typical sexism, inaccurate historical retellings, violence, blood and war related injuries, PTSD, Winnie’s hatred of authority, bullying (?), probably OOC writing and horrible americanisation of words

< previous chapter > - < next chapter >

Eating rats in Africa had to be more enjoyable than running up a mountain in full pack gear. Especially when your CO hated your company and by extension you

To answer the question what the fuck is a currahee? Winnie was forced into her brand new boots, and a much too large uniform, to run up a large mountain. Not only did she twist her ankle in the first five minutes, but if one more man kicked dirt into her eyes, she might start getting violent.

Lieutenant Sobel was a sadist. Winnie decided on mile two of the run. Given the fact that it looked like he was almost enjoying their looks of despair. As Sobel watched her red faced and sweaty body push past the men on the mountain, she could almost hear the taunting words and insults spilling from his tongue. Although smaller by quite a margin, Winnie had months of active duty behind her, helping aid her in this, rather ridiculous climb. Now that is something she could hear, the grumbles and insults from the men in her company, not many liked the idea that some scrawny looking kid they’ve never met, beating them up currahee.

The top of currahee was an amazing view, not the Winnie got to see much of it. Her CO yelling at her that ‘this isn’t good enough for easy’ or that ‘woman in the military are to blame for our time up currahee’. Like she wasn’t the fastest person to haul ass up the mountain.

The bottom of the mountain left easy company in a pile of doubled over figures with their hands on their knees, sucking in as much air as possible.

“look at that, miss face scar thinking she’s better than us” one of the men mutter between gasps

“what do ya think she did to deserve that one?” another mumbled

Clenching her jaw, Winnie stretched out her neck. no fighting on your first day. A deep breath and an internal lecture on formality she rolled back her shoulders, walking towards the showers as instructed. Now the problem she faced was that there were no women’s showers, which meant, finding a time where there was no men in the shower would be difficult.

After finding a clean pair of clothes. something not covered in dust or ticks! Deciding she was far too sweaty to not shower before the dinner service, she took a faster pace. if i can shower quickly, wearing my undergarments, i can get to the food hall before everyone and-

“outta my way” accompanied by a harsh shove

“watch it dumbass” she hisses back, dusting the dirt off her shorts

“whaddya say to me?” his nostrils flare

“do i have to spell it out for you too?” Crossing her arms over her chest

Both soldiers stand nearly face to face, although in Winnie’s case more face to chest. Her rather short temper was not helped by months at war, and her counterparts clear distaste for her was not helped by her smart mouth.

“Hayes, Cobb, is there a problem here?” Winters crosses his arms over his chest

“not at all lieutenant” Winnie responds, her eyes never once softening from their glare.

With a quick look up and down the taller man, Winnie pushed past him with a shoulder bump and made her way towards the shower block. For all the money the United States Government has put into its military, you would think that maybe the showers would be more than four walls with a flimsy lock. But no! i have to shower and watch my back.

Luck. Something that is not entirely on her side. After the fifth scar, Winnie decided that if there was a God, he was playing with his food before eating it. Luck, was being able to shower without being interrupted, and thanking her lucky stars, she was showering. Maybe it had to do with how quickly she ran to get her clean clothes, or maybe, just maybe, Luck was on her side. The cold water hit her chest, with a choked gasp Winnie jumps backwards.

———

The sweltering heat of Africa was dry. Bugs bite the exposed skin of their legs, now visible after doc let them borrow his scissors. My rash had been present for three days, doc said once it hits a week, we start to worry. I wasn’t worried. As long as the bugs didn’t come near me. Fighting off the Germans was one thing, but bugs? that was a whole new ball game.

They tried to give us shifts down at the ocean. It wasn’t the best option for a shower, but after months in the heat, any water was good enough to clean the mud and grime from our blood stained skin.

The best factor was that the ocean was cold. Even five minutes to dunk yourself under the water and slapping a wet slouch hat on your head was enough to keep you going for the night.

The salt water stings. Eyes blurring as they’re opened under the sea. A burning wound. The ocean turning red. With a strangled gasp and her wet hair sticking to her face like a second skin, she paddles. Winnie holds her left shoulder with her hand, legs kicking wildly as a shot rings through the air.

“Sniper!” her voice is hoarse as she yells for her friends to take cover.

Groaning as she lands on the sand with a wet thud, blood coating her fingers a deep crimson. Dust coating her skin, and a lasting feeling of the cold water sticking to her body.

——

Winnie shakes her head like she can shake the memories loose from her brain. Her hand slams the faucet down, the shower instantly stopping the stream of cold water. not in africa not in africa. Her hands work quickly, drying herself, changing into her uniform. The sooner she could get out of here and eat, the better.

The cold door held her weight as she rested her forehead against it. Eyes screwed shut her chest shuddered with half taken breaths. in. out. in. out. Only allowing two minutes to crack before she pieced herself together. She had things to do. With her dirty clothes in hand, now dropped into the wash bin, Winnie set out for dinner.

left. right. left. right. one foot in-front of the other.

Army food was nothing of great expectation. Army chefs who aren’t actually chefs, mass producing meals with food that Winnie isn’t all to certain is food. Nonetheless, anything was better than eating rats. So she kept her mouth shut, made sure to say thank you to the cooks, and took her tray, sitting at the corner of the table, plenty of room for the men to sit.

Soon enough, tables filled up all around her, and as expected Winnie was the plague. At least, she’s certain people thought she was. That was the only reason for a full table of easy company men to be pushed into one side of the table.

“i don’t have rabies you know” she muttered towards… Johnny was it? Maybe it was Joe “it won’t kill you to sit next to me”

Poking at the concerning loaf shaped meat on her tray, she glanced up as someone coughed. The seat opposite her was about to have an occupant. really wish i learnt those names. He looked out of place, and quite frankly awkward.

“Is this seat taken miss?” He had a soft voice.

“Go ahead” She sighed softly, an open hand as she pointed to the chair

“I hope you don’t mind, the other side is lookin’ a little cosy for my liking” he explained

“Not at all… as long as you don’t mind sitting with the outcast” poking at her meat loaf. If she avoided eye contact, maybe it would be less awkard

“My ma always said it wasn’t right to be mean to someone just ‘cause you don’t know ‘em” The man spoke softly, but he held a fond look when he mentioned his mother. It was rather sweet Winnie thought.

“Well your ma must be a real nice lady” with a smile Winnie looked up at the man “Winnie”

“Darrel… But everyone calls me Shifty” he responded kindly

“It’s lovely to meet you Shifty” she nodded, and responds in a soft, almost embarrassed tone “thank you for sitting with me-“

Chatter around the room stops as the doors to the cafeteria slam against the walls. Standing like Satan at the gates of hell was Sobel, a harsh glare set on his pointed features as he scans the room for his prey. Winnie knew it. as soon as his head swivelled around the room. It was her.

“What do you think you are doing” his voice carries through the now quiet room, he strides to stand next to Winnie

“Stand at attention.” he snaps

Shooting out of her seat, her hand snaps into attention

“Lieutenant Sobel… sir?” her eyebrows crease slightly “is there a problem sir?”

“Do you enjoy making a mockery of the United States Military Private Hayes?” he sneers

Winnie’s face flushes red, All eyes were on her, as she stood at attention, Sobel not saluting her. She had never felt so much hatred for a man, and she’s known him less than twelve hours.

“It’s Sargent” she mutters

“Are you disagreeing with a commanding officer private” the look he gives is one of total contempt, she was beneath him and he wanted her to know it. Still he salutes her.

“It’s. sergeant.” her teeth grit

“Are you implying that your commanding officer is wrong, private Hayes” His tone implied that he was right, even if he wasn’t. A challenge. And boy does she like a challenge

“When my commanding officer refers to me using the wrong rank, then it would seem he, is in fact wrong” she narrows her eyes “my rank may not be from the United States Military, but it is in every way, a rank. I worked for that rank and it would be appreciated if my commanding officer would acknowledge that fact… Sir”

A low whistle settles through the crowd, a soft “oh shit” comes from one of the easy men

“Winnie-“ shifty’s plea is cut off but an angry Sobel

“Respect seems to not be taught in your country. You will not have such blatant disrespect for a commanding officer.” Sobel seethes, a vein popping in his forehead “you will leave the remainder of your meal, and run currahee with your pack. And you will run it without drinking from your canteen, until you understand what respect is.”

Winnie’s jaw clenches so hard she fears she may have cracked a tooth. She tries to not glare at her CO.

“Do i make myself clear.” he asks, his voice low and threatening

“Yes. sir.” she grits out. Saluting.

——

The Georgian air was much warmer at night than Africa or New Guinea. But with the added weight of a full pack, complete with her canteen and new boots. New unbroken boots. Winnie was slowly warming up. The weight was not a new feeling. Carrying all her belongings, her comrades, weapons, anything of importance up the treacherous slopes and hills of Kokoda, the pack was not her worry for her punishment.

The lack of food, even if it tasted like wet cardboard and had the consistency of beans in jelly, was sustenance. And was she going to need that right now. By the time she reached her second dessent from currahee, Winnie noticed the little swirls in her vision. Still, she refused to drink from her canteen. She may be hot headed but she was not crazy enough to disobey a direct order such as this one.

Her feet felt like she was dragging them through the muddy walkways on New Guinea. Like she was up to her calves in mud so wet it was like quicksand. She felt like the world was on her shoulders, Hike three up Currahee left black dots in her vision. But Winnie was nothing if not stubborn, and if she was told to hike, well she was going to hike, if it meant proving her CO wrong.

The fall broke her nose. Atleast, she’s pretty sure it did. She can’t exactly see or hear who was talking to her, but she’s pretty sure he said the words ‘broken’ and ‘idiotic’. The stars looked pretty from here. It’s been so long since she’s been able to lay and watch the sky

“-an you hear me?” a southern drawl sounds

“What?” a mumbled response, as she rolls her neck side to side

“I said can you hear me?” the man asks, he had a rather deep voice. it was comforting however, rather than intimidating

“Yeah” groaning at the now present pain in her face, Winnie forced herself into a sit

“Take it easy, you hit your head pretty hard” he mumbles

“What happened?” Winnie blinks a few times, clearing the spots in her vision, her nose throbbed, and she was sure it needed to be reset

“You broke your nose” He answers off handedly, reaching up to feel around her nose

“How do you know.” Defensively Winnie pulls away from his hands “stop touchin’ me, you can’t just touch people without asking, especially when i don’t know you”

“Would ya stop bein’ difficult and let me fix it” he sighs, his accent getting thicker in irritation

“No. I don’t know you, how do i know you won’t just make it worse” tilting her head defiantly

He sighs in irritation

“Eugene Roe, medic” he drawls “now will you let me fix the nose ‘fore it gets worse”

reluctantly, she nods. Staring at the man with curiosity. He was handsome, there was no denying that. But he was reserved, not in the way Shifty was, like Eugene Roe was purposely closing himself off.

“i’m gonna set it now” he warns “one. two-“

A loud crack sounds through the air, followed swiftly by a string of curses. Winnie now hated yanks and their medics.

——

A/N: HI! i really hope you enjoyed chapter two of hiraeth! it will start to pick up shortly, but unfortunately the only way this chapter was getting written was if it was a ‘building chapter’ nonetheless i hope you enjoyed!

TAG LIST: @malarkgirlypop @mads-weasley @footprintsinthesxnd @bucky32557038ww2 @grumpy-liebgott @executethyself35

#hiraeth #hiraeth fic #hiraethoc #winnie hayes oc #winnie hayes #winnie #band of brothers fic #band of brothers fanfiction #band of brothers #babe heffron #ronald speirs #bandofbrothers #dick winters #eugene roe #george luz #hbowar #band of brothers #donald malarkey

50 notes · View notes

foap-enjoyer · 6 months

Text

Drugging | Sick | Poisoned

Sick.

'Soap thinks he's got just a simple cold. Nope. Anyway, cue blizzard safehouse one bed trope because I'm lazy'

Trigger warnings for this prompt: Vomit. Ships for this prompt: Sort of the start of Ghoap? Ghost is very affectionate, more or less.

The one my lovely tumblr people voted on all those days ago! :)

Read it here, on AO3: Ouch. - Chapter 5 - Tsukuyomi_Ravioli - Call of Duty (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

Missions in Russian mountains were becoming way too common.

At least, that’s what Soap thought.

There were positives to mountain missions, he supposed. There were positives to everything. A beautiful view; clean, fresh, untouched air. Sometimes, on long missions, he would even see rare wildlife, animals which had never seen a human before. They would peer at him through the brush, eyes bright and curious. Sometimes, some would even come over, eat a bite of whatever he had on offer before scrambling away. He liked those pros.

But the cons? Well those fucking sucked. The cold, firstly. The cold sucked- oh, and don’t forget the lack of signal, which meant no far-lined comms, no phones, no nada. Just him, his team, and a shit ton of snow, usually for days at a time. It could drive even the most social of men insane.

Oh, and to top it off, as a little added bonus for this mission, because that’s just how he rolls- he was sick. Not super sick, mind you. It’d started off as a cold, when he’d woken up pre-mission. At least, he assumed it was. Itchy throat, ugly cough, his usual first symptoms.

In his childhood, he would have curled up into a tiny, sniffling ball and let his mammy hold him, and soothe the pain away just with her touch. But now, he was a fully grown man. A grown man who worked in a job that, unlike being a student in school, would not tolerate a day off. Especially for something as small as a cold.

So, brushing his teeth, tying his laces, and grabbing his bag, he went out to face the day head on. Like a soldier would.

He really wished he was still seven, still at home with his mum.

This… cold was no fucking cold. This was a parasite worming its way into every orifice of his body, a disease spreading through his blood, an alien forcing itself inside his chest, taking control of every nerve and joint and muscle until he was nothing but mush.

Fucking cold his ass. If this was a cold, maybe it was time to retire, because he clearly was getting too old for this shit.

The harshness of the Russian wilderness didn’t help his case one bit.

They’d landed at their respective drop-off points. Price and Gaz were on the complete opposite side of the mountains to him and Ghost, and the plan was to meet in the middle, where he and Gaz would infiltrate the government-owned set of buildings as Price and Ghost ran overwatch on the outskirts. A simple enough plan, until the blizzard hit.

“You’re telling me that higher-ups can plan entire wars to a T, if they wanted to, but they can’t check the fucking weather?”

That was Gaz, voice static-y through the comms. He sounded pissed, and of course he was, he was allowed to, given their situation. Hell, Soap was too. Price sighed, and Soap could imagine him rolling his eyes at the younger man, “There’s nothing we can do about it, Sergeant, so quit whining. Ghost?”

Ghost was behind him, using his path through the heaps of snow surrounding them to guide himself, and his sniper-kit through the rocky terrain. He could hear the man grunt as he lugged the heavy bag over a large rock in their path. “Yeah, Cap?”

“There should be a little safehouse just a few klicks North of your position. Fancy taking a wander over there? Can’t do shit if this storm keeps up like this.”

Ghost grasped Soap’s shoulder, altering his course slightly up the hill, rather than downwards. Soap’s knees wobbled with exhaustion, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Back up they go. “We’ll take a look. What’re you two doing?”

“Cap’s looking now, says there’s a cave nearby.” Gaz huffed out a laugh, “At least you guys get an actual house.”

Soap chuckled softly, his teeth chattering together like a talkative parrot, “Send me a pic if you find a bear in there, Kyle, would you? You know they’re my favourite animal.”

“Will do, prick.”

The comms silenced soon after. Soap assumed it was because, like them, Gaz and Price were having to hike a while to get to their location. The mountains weren’t the steepest, deadliest of mountains, but in a blizzard as bad as this one, you needed full concentration.

The wind was at its peak now, whistling through the canyons of the snowy wilderness, spiking him right through his clothing with its cold crystals of air and ice. If it weren’t for his deathly grip onto the passing uncovered roots of mountain-grown trees, he’s certain he would have fallen right off of the cliff-face by now.

He felt numb, his whole body was ice-cold. He was trembling, at least, which was a good thing. Meant his body was still working. Ghost was still behind him, lagging behind slightly, preoccupied with lugging his bags as well as checking their location. When he’d last trusted himself enough to look back, the man had been busy checking a little grey piece of technology, the blue light reflecting in his snow-white mask.

He knew that the little ipod-like thing hadn’t initially been supposed to be used to find this supposed safehouse, but rather help Ghost angle himself correctly when it came to overwatch protection. For later in the mission. At least higher-ups had been courteous enough to give them some form of direction in case of an emergency.

“Should be over this last hill!” Ghost startled him with his shout, even if he barely heard it over the wind. A hand clasped his shoulder when he stumbled, startled, and he could see a gloved finger in his peripheral, pointing in said direction. When Ghost spoke next, his voice was in his ear. “Through those trees.”

He nodded.

Another twenty, maybe thirty minutes, and they finally, finally came upon the house. If he was honest, it was more of a glorified shed, maybe. At least from a distance. No windows, one door, a little wooden building sat nestled between a few cut-down stumps of previous trees. Maybe the wood used to make it? Probably.

The door had been locked, but a sharp boot to the lock had solved that issue. Their fingers were too numb to pick the lock anyway.

Inside, it wasn’t too bad. There was a little fireplace, a sofa- actually no, it was a pullout sofa-bed, actually. In the other room, the only other room, a tiny kitchen. That was it, really. It wasn’t the worst safehouse he’d seen (he’d give that to the one he’d stumbled into, half stabbed, in Romania a few years back), but it wasn’t the best either. It didn’t even have a bathroom!

Ghost got to work as soon as the door was closed behind them. He shuffled forward, dumping his kit on the floor as he began shedding his clothes piece-by-piece, dumping them onto the back of the sofa-bed. He was in the middle of taking his shoes off before he peered up at Soap, confused. “Johnny?”

He blinked. “Yeah?”

“Clothes.”

He blinked again, before nodding, fingers trembling, fumbling for his coat’s zipper, “Yeah, gotcha.”

“No inappropriate joke today, Sergeant?”

He shook his head tiredly, “Too fuckin’ cold, LT.”

A soft huff of a laugh, and Ghost placed his boots against a nearby wall, tugging his soggy, icy mask off. Frost clung to his eyelashes, and calloused fingers rubbed at them. Once the majority of the white was gone from the hairs, Ghost’s eyes were on him again, eyebrow curled, “Soap?”

Oh. He was staring again. He shook his head, going back to fumbling with his stuff. “Sorry.”

If Ghost was worried, he didn’t say anything about it. “I’m gonna go look at the kitchen for some food.” He said instead, “You get the fire going when you can. You’re right, it’s fucking freezing.”

He watched as the man turned his back and waltzed into the kitchen. Which, technically, was simply an extension of the living room. All that separated them was a tiny archway, after all.

Once he finally got his coat off, and tossed onto the floor, was when his body began to fail him.

“Ghost…?”

“Yeah?” Ghost turned, peering at him from the other room, his eyes dark in the dim lighting of the safehouse. “What’s up?”

“I don’t…” He swallowed harshly. The room was beginning to spin violently, and he reached a hand out desperately to clutch onto the nearest object, that being the sofa. “I don’t feel so good…”

“Johnny?” Ghost’s voice was starting to fade out as he fought to keep himself upright.

Something was buzzing under his skin, warm and itchy. Sweat pooled against his neck. He had been cold only a moment ago, freezing, even… What was wrong with him? “Simon?”

A hand on his shoulder, “I’m here.”

“I think…” His stomach coiled, and he squeezed his eyes shut with a soft hiccup, “‘m gonna be sick.”

“Alright, alright.” Simon’s hands wrapped around him, guiding him forward, towards the small kitchen. But as soon as his hand released its deathly grip on the sofa, Soap’s knees gave in.

He would have hit the floor if it weren’t for Simon, who took his weight with a grunt, barely managing to move them forward off of carpet and onto tile before Soap vomited.

“Easy, Johnny,” He could hear Simon attempt to soothe as he retched, fully held up in the older man’s arms. He felt limp, boneless, “Easy.”

His world continued to spin violently as he heaved, the cold tile on his knees sharply contrasting the horrible burning sensation consuming him whole. He whimpered, trying to squirm away from the heat inside him. Simon just held him tighter. “It’ll be over soon.”

“I-” He retched again, dry heaving over a steadily growing pile of vomit. His eyes stung, and he choked on a sob. “Fuck-”

A hand pressed into his forehead. “You’re burning up…” Simon muttered softly, “Fuck, Johnny, why didn’t you tell me?”

He hiccuped, turning to press his head under the crook of Simon’s neck. He was crying, he could feel the familiar wet warmth soaking into the fabric of Simon’s shirt. He wanted to apologise, but breathing was hard enough at the minute. His hands, trembling, clutched onto Simon wherever he could get a good grip, circling around the man’s back, holding tight.

He swore a kiss pressed into his hair. He swore it. “You’re alright, I got you.” Simon’s voice was firm, and yet it was laced with worry. They were both hardened soldiers, he shouldn’t be sobbing like this over a simple sickness. It had to be something more, right? After a moment, “Do you still feel sick?”

He shook his head.

“Okay.” Simon took a moment to think, to breathe. Soap. “Okay. I’m going to move you to the sofa, and then clean this up. Think you can move?”

He shook his head again. His knees felt like jelly, if he got up, he’d most definitely fall right back down.

“It’s alright,” Simon murmured, “I’ll carry you.”

With a quick rearrange of arms, followed by a soft grunt, Simon lifted him up. Instinctively, Soap clutched close, squeezing his eyes shut once more as his head spun. As soon as Simon settled him onto the sofa only inches away, he brought a hand up to his mouth, dry heaving into his palm once more. No vomit, this time.

A hand rubbed at his back. “Easy.” A hand in his hair. He leaned against it tiredly as Simon helped him lean backwards onto the old cushions. “Just breathe. It’ll help.”

As soon as he was sitting comfortably, the hands were gone. His eyes cracked open, looking around. Simon had just… disappeared.

“Si’?” He croaked, anxiety coiling. He hadn’t heard him leave, where was he? “Right here.” A damp cloth touched his forehead, and moments later the man was back in view, kneeling down in front of him. A bowl was given to Soap, settled in his lap neatly. “If you’re sick again.”

“Oh.” He rasped. Yeah, of course Simon would think to go grab something.

A glass of water was offered next. His hands reached out shakily to take it, but Simon didn’t let go, instead holding the glass steady as Soap brought it to his lips, taking small sips. He pulled it away a moment later. “Not too much.” He reminded Soap, “It’ll make you throw up.”

He hummed tiredly. “I know.”

“Now you’re not puking your guts up.” The glass was placed onto a nearby old, dusty coffee table. Simon’s eyes were on him not long after. “Care to explain why you thought it was a good idea to come out on a mission when you were feeling like shit?”

“I didn’t feel bad this morning.” Which was true. Sort of. It’d, mostly, come on suddenly. “Once I felt sick, we were already off.”

“You could’ve still told someone.” Simon’s voice was soft, but firm. “Price, Gaz, me, hell, even the pilots. Anyone, Soap.”

“Sorry.” He whispered tiredly. “Wasn’t thinking.”

“I can’t get a hold of Price.” That woke him a little. “Signal’s shit. Blizzard is practically snowing us in, I think.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.” Simon sighed, hand reaching up to brush some blonde, stray strands behind his ear. “But we’ve got a while before we’ll need to check back in. So, we’ll just hunker down. Feel like eating?”

He shook his head. Simon’s eyes softened. “You need to, Johnny.”

He shook his head again, eyes drooping slightly. “‘M tired.”

“Alright.” Simon relented, biting his lip. “Alright. I’ll… We can eat later?”

He nodded. That worked.

“You take the sofa,” Simon went to move, “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

He reached out, grasping his wrist. “We can share.” He murmured, exhausted. “It’s a sofa-bed.”

“Yeah, like a single bed.” The older man huffed, “I can take the floor.”

He didn’t let go of the man’s wrist. Simon didn’t pull away, either. “Just sleep here.” He yawned, “‘S easier.”

There was a pause, before a soft; “You’re not gonna puke on me, are you?”

He chuckled, eyes already closed, “Only if you snore.”

68 notes · View notes

solrovivrus · 2 months

Text

The White House managed to get off its ass and do the bare fucking minimum for once. Now I need to reiterate something that the settlements in the West Bank are completely illegal. They are illegal under international law and nothing the US says or does will change that. Having said that this article states that the Biden Administration has “recognized” the settlements as “inconsistent with international law”(aka illegal). Now this is not necessarily new, the US has stated that the settlements in the West Bank are illegal since 1976, which has fallen under both democratic and republican presidents like Carter/Regan etc. However, the Trump administration changed this to say they no longer viewed the settlements as illegal in fact,

“Under an unrealized Trump peace plan, Israel would have been allowed sovereignty over all existing settlements and permitted to annex up to 30 percent of the West Bank.”

So it’s not so much that the Biden Administration is making a progressive step but rather returning to an established status quo. In fact he states he is going further ahead with his support for a two state “solution”, the merits of which are dubious at best and flat out ignoring the actual help Palestinians need at worst, but has not committed to reversing Trumps plan. This does not necessarily mean he is in favor or supports Trumps plan but it does lead to my main problem with all of this. It’s just lazy, bare minimum horseshit.

There is a lot to discuss about Bidens handling of the war but this whole thing really takes the cake of showing how while Biden does do things that on the surface seem like they could be helpful once you look into them, even a little bit, it just proves how lackluster his whole strategy is.

He claims that the bombings are “indiscriminate” and Israel must protect civilians at all cost, but then bypasses congress to send them more bombs. He claims he wants more aid and humanitarian assistance into Gaza, but vetoes a ceasefire for a third time and brings in another proposal that says a ceasefire will happen when it’s “practical”. It’s the same with this.

Everyday I look at the news, especially with what’s happening in Rafah, hoping that something will happen. Something, anything, to make this any better. To bring an end to the violence and death that has destroyed countless lives and scarred many others. And I read shit like this because it appears to be a silver lining, something good for Palestinians, something that gives them any autonomy and agency during this time. But all I get are basic table crumbs of shit we should’ve been doing from the very start, why is it that only now Biden has called out this very obvious illegal practice? Why didn’t he do that shit before all this carnage? Hell why didn’t he do this shit during his four fucking years as president?

The only thing keeping me from sinking further into rage is the fact that it is a shift. Biden is only doing this because he sees the pushback from protesters and knows that public opinion is turning. Israel’s response has been so overblown that it’s impossible to ignore the amount of injustice, and people are now more than ever seeing its true colors. So this push is small, and it sucks. I am not going to sit thanking them for basic table scraps. The Overton window on Palestine is shifting and we would be fools not to take advantage of it. We must do every single thing within our power to make more progress than ever.

It does not escape me that while Biden has nothing to be thanked for and has blood on his hands, Trumps plan fucking terrifies me. Its one thing to be frustrated by hollow promises, for Biden to expect a thank you for recognizing that the illegal thing is still very much illegal and punishing four people with economic sanctions even though 399 Palestinians have died on the West Bank with over a thousand more injured due to violence. Meaning that those who committed these crimes will most likely never answer for what they did. I hate that these are supposed to placate us, that this somehow makes up for everything. But the idea of Trumps plan, that not only would the recognition that the settlements are illegal not happen but they in fact would be actively supported by our country creates a pit in my stomach. It makes you realize that one small misstep and we could lose more than we have already lost. But I refuse to settle.

I don’t just want to have the settlements recognized as illegal, I want the West Bank and Gaza to have full autonomy over their personhood and over their land. I want justice for those who lost their lives and the lives of their loved ones. We have a duty to these people and to ourselves to never give an inch, to demand better, to demand more. Never settling for complacency. And we must also be strategic. We cannot assume that because things are bad that they cannot get worse. We cannot stoop to petty infighting when people are counting on us for our help and solidarity, doing whatever it takes to make things better for them. We must stand for Palestine liberation, we must never settle for complacency. From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

#palestine #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #free gaza

6 notes · View notes

tacroyy · 7 months

Text

more on education&work—lack of agency & denial of expression of children in education.

something else about education is that you really get used to not being heard. and, in a parallel way, you get used to not listening. people don't want to keep listening to you talk about how exhausting and underfunded and underresourced things are, and that is deeply fair of them to react that way, but also you keep having those feelings, because you are just constantly exhausted and underfunded and underresourced. but then, the kids are having those feelings too. you're making them do unchildlike things day in and day out and you hear it so much that you forget to listen to what you are constantly hearing. so a school district hears that its not supporting its teachers and students and staff so often that it stops listening. and everyone around teachers hears that teachers arent being resourced or funded and its such a constant hum they have to stop listening. and teachers hear that students are tired and dont want to work and hate school so much that they wont listen anymore. its this big cycle and something that's actually really nice is that... it does help to break it. when you listen to a kid they glow about it and try harder—but not in the way that makes them inauthentic! like today a kid who doesnt engage much shared a language thing when they "shouldn't" have (don't talk while teacher is talking etc) and they were so excited to share, so i engaged, so they loved it, so they engaged more, so they learned some stuff and had a good time. like... you dont quash the excitement and the interest, even if—especially if!—it is inconvenient.

districts and those that fund education should be able to do that too. educators can be so inconvenient—teachers really are the worst people; you have this group of cats who have created their own little realms where they are in charge and then you try to tell them what to do and act confused when they're like "bitch, and you are?" like yes. our educational structure sucks absolute ass, it sucks that we're putting One Adult In Charge like this, it's NOT a good system. but dont be SURPRISED by that, please. you (districts/governments/societies/funding structures) CREATED and/or SUSTAIN this structure for education, and then to be like "omg why do teachers get so offended" um because you don't ever make us work together for REAL. you just SUSTAIN the shitty individualistic adult-as-authority cycle. SO few can coteach (imagine........ having another qualified person, or multiple other qualified people in the room with you??????? mindbending) and if they do coteach they still have separate realms generally (like a sped teacher pushing into gen ed, or two teachers taking a difficult class and one "goes high" and the other "goes low"). just—to go back to my point. if you find something educators are EXCITED about, encourage them and listen!!!!!! even if they are yelling at the "wrong time." they're yelling for a reason. im yelling about how kids are getting really good at standing up for themselves. we should ENCOURAGE that. they can identify and put words onto things that older generations treated as taboo, like abuse and bullying and all forms of prejudice, racism and sexism and queerphobia and ableism— i mean, a kid once told me, word for word, that they were "having a mental health crisis." they used ALL of the right language. the kids are LISTENING to us. they are DOING IT BETTER THAN WE WERE.

and then teachers keep saying—why are the kids so DIFFERENT than they used to be? because kids are starting to want to take care of themselves, for once. they have learned how to say no. and it's wonderful. and it makes you change. and teachers are the rulers of their realms. and their realms cannot change according to the teacher-rulers. but the change is calling from inside the fucking classroom!!!!

breaking cycles is good. really listening is good. its overwhelming to not tune anything out. but if you tune things out, you dont break cycles.

10 notes · View notes

girlwithteeth · 7 months

Text

I really wanted to like Gundam Witch but I feel like it really drops the ball so hard. Like, there's a lot of cool setup in the first season to talk about how fucked up the adults in this setting are treating children- every single kid in the privileged private school for rich kids is being made to be involved in things like war profiteering and the central conceit of the whole dueling apparatus is straight up military training. The thin veneer of respectable detachment is lifted and we see where that was always going to lead - there's an attack by child soldiers as a completely mercenary operation that leads to several people dying pretty brutally in front of one of our leads. In one episode a kid gets completely fucking disappeared and replaced with a look-alike for not going along with the corporation's plan.

The whole second half of the show's main plot revolves around a plot to use a doomsday weapon. The main character work happening is around a new diplomatic angle (there was always wheeling and dealing, but it was shady back room stuff where you know they are talking about shit that is immoral as hell and the second arc has, like, diplomatic representatives from world governments and tries to paint that as squeaky clean in contrast), a kidnapped heir learning that the mercenary children are real people who have tragic circumstances, the supporting cast dealing with PTSD from the attack, and a double agent for another company in their midst feeling remorse because she had been manipulated into being a double agent. It's a fucking BINGO of tropes and it's all so surface level!!!!

Why did they bother to rip away the curtain and show these kids how closely tied to war their whole lives had been, what that really meant in the cost of human lives? Why did they set themselves up for the drama of that and then ignore their own thing that they did for most of the cast? The whole fucking point of the ending to the first season is that Suletta is a child soldier more in the vein of the mercenaries than the trust fund kids who had been protected from the reality of their world by the system that they lived in, right? It's a nice cliffhanger that sets up a rejection of that reality that could be conceptualized in different ways as the main driving force behind the emotions of our cast!

And I kind of get why they went the way that they did. In the new frame of reality for our cast Suletta is no longer the outsider who doesn't understand things, it's everyone else. And they keep her mostly the same, because she was actually aware of this reality the whole time. It's supposed to be a twist in that it wants us to re-contextualize her behavior. But, the writing doesn't want Suletta to come across as fucked up or traumatized, because she has to be 'good' in opposition to the traumatized child soldiers who are 'bad'. So everyone just says "Wow Suletta I can't believe you are still helping people and acting cheery after the violence. The violence made me sad." and she says, "Well, I want to help people!" and the lesson is that everyone tries to be like Suletta and help people.

It's like the show describes coping mechanisms for the incredible trauma happening and says that one is morally right and the other is morally wrong and believes it. It smooths out a lot of interesting wrinkles to believe it.

It's just... really frustrating.

And!!! It's, like, barely gay at all!!!! Yes, technically Miorine and Suletta are a gay couple, but there is so little affection. They literally run away from it and the show wants to have it's tension so bad that it just kind of skips over the part where they have any drama by not having them talk to each other for a while. And then they are together in the end.

They don't even fucking kiss. Sucks ass.

#gundam #gundam witch from mercury

9 notes · View notes

granulesofsand · 9 months

Note

Do you have sources for any of the things you've been talking about lately (the different programming types, hc-did, basically all of it)? I'd really like to do some more reading on this stuff but I've found a grand total of One book and most of the rest of the stuff is social media posts with no references, or references to other social media posts :(

Our top three “sources” are usually our system, late night conversations with irl friends, and social media.

The biggest issue isn’t actually a lack of resources, but a lack of good resources. Survivors put out material before they realize they got something wrong. The clinicians that work with us are the same, and the first generation of papers were shots in the dark and fear of lies that hadn’t been exposed yet.

There’ll be a lot about a big, networked Cult, usually either the Illuminati or Luciferians. Plenty of government conspiracy theories, references to projects that sometimes do get evidence. Then there’s the regular racism and Christian lens.

If you’re looking for overviews and definitions, they got taken down here are some good websites:

https://www.ra-free.org/complexities-of-identifying-ritual-abuse - not a lot of information, lists studies and professionals

https://endritualabuse.org/full-article-index/ - lots of good articles, some really helpful, others had me cocking my head

https://www.cherylrainfield.com/articles-cult-abuse/ - more about the author than the issue, some useful links on that page

There used to be more. Two others, one about spin programming and one about colors, are still up, but a little out there. You’ll know if you see them

Some books with more details. Not good books, just books:

https://ia803208.us.archive.org/34/items/BecomingYourself.Miller/BecomingYourself.Miller.pdf - the single best thing I’ve found and I still have complaints, this version is unformatted but free

https://ia803400.us.archive.org/28/items/chainless-slaves-annotated/Chainless%20Slaves%20-%20Annotated.pdf - I didn’t like it, lots of certain language for iffy concepts, has a list of programs and alter roles

https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=89e823aedc9c69ffd8d715757c86878af27c37c9 - not a fan, also lots of funky ideas and hate-based rhetoric, has lists of programs and cues

There are lots of survivor autobiographies and outsider opinions, but I don’t have free links to those

Keep in mind that getting out of a high control group sucks ass, and most accounts (even if they claim to have healed) have the remnants of the abusive ideologies.

I still prefer hearing from other survivors what happened, and I find it easier to validate people I can easily contact. I’ll keep the webpage if I find anything I can’t just Google, but this is what I can pull right now.

It’s not great, buddy, but it’s something.

9 notes · View notes

pansy-buttercups · 1 month

Text

🌱General Information 🌱

🌸———————————————🌸

Basic Introduction🌿

Heya I'm Markus, I also go by Moss. I'm huge plant nerd and violently obsessed with collective wildflower feildguides. I am by no meana a professional horticulturist or botanist (though I desperately want to be), Studying plants and growing them however is a major passion of mine!

I'm hoping that by posting on this blog, I can motivate myself to learn even more about plants and actually jot down some information for other people. I belive we all need to become way more aware of the hugely important role that flora play in out world and what plants are actually helpful and which ones are damaging (I'm looking at you invasive plants/monoculture forest/ect.)

Oh, also, the last thing to know about me is I desperately hope all oil, gas, and car company CEOs fricken 💥💥💥 Ahhhh cough on smoke.... yeah.....

What this blog is about☘️

I plan to mostly use this blog to help share gardening tips, information on native plants, general ecology posts, horticulture/Agricultural/permaculture all the plant growing cultures and stuff, sustainability, and conservation Just generally, anything to do with plants and our precious earth's ecosystem, I suppose. However, as I live on the West Coast of B.C I want to focus a lot on my local native flora and ecosystem!

That's probably going to be a big point of the blog so if you too are a B.C West Coast Flora Fanatic rejoice!!

More Information under the Break🌱

Scheduling plan (That I will hopefully follow)🌧

Floriography Friday🌸Fridays

The history of flowers and their meanings are always a little bit tricky and varied depending on place to place. That's the beauty of it, though that one flower can mean a thousand different things depending on where you are, the color, what other flowers accompany it, even where it worn! Plants have always been important symbols in our art and culture.

————————————

(Possibly) Your homes Native Plants Apprication Day🌿Thursdays

Send in submissions of a plant native to where you live that you think needs some more love or that you just really this is neat! Of course if there are no submission a random place will be picked for Native Flora Apprication Thursday!

————————————

West Coast Native Flora Wednesday🌱Wednesday

Cause we can all appreciate our native flora a little bit more, and maybe next time you're out you may even spot one yourself! Every Wednesday there will be a post detailing a random native plant of our wonderful West Coast <33

————————————

Gardening Tuesday🍅 Tuesday

Whether you're growing tomatoes or tulips, everyone can sometimes use some advice on what to do with their garden plants. From companion plants to what's the best P.H. for your crops, Tuesday is the day to look out for! On this day, there will mostly be some gardening tips posted, and also, alongside submissions, I will be open to send in any exciting gardening news or updates you've may have. Send in pictures of your biggest strawberries or your seedlings you've been waiting weeks to pop up. It's all welcome here :).

———————————

Alongside these, there should be regular updates on what seeds to sow at any given time, frost dates, conservation/sustainability projects you can support, community garden information and updates, and of course random sciencey plant facts and shitposts <33

—————————————————————————

Oh yeah also fuck of if your any of the below💥

-Bigot ( Racist/Sexist/Homophobic/Transphobic/Ableist/Zionist, General asshole) , Captalist suck up, Cop kiss ass, Mega Corpration lover, Government Stan.

Please do intract though if any of the below apply to you☘️

- Love nature, have a garden, have a passion for flora, belive in hope for future, hate big companies/governements for ruining our planet, love native plants, support your local communities , love hopepunk. are a bee, have a xylem and a phloem <33

Tags Masterlist

[To Be filled in Later]

#plants #native plants #botany #Gardening #horticulture #ecopunk #floriography #vancouver #ecology #ecosystem #Thats all the tags i can think of for now #Sorry to the people who regular these tags that have to see my big ass intro post

5 notes · View notes

krissiefox · 9 months

Text

Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog - Fast and Easy (Screenshots & Review)

What happens when both our heroes and our villains have to deal with a sneaky pick-pocketing jerk? Let's find out!'

The episode starts with Sonic and Tails spying on Scratch and Grounder. They're setting up a new trap and Sonic is curious to see what it is, so he eventually comes out of his hiding spot to ask the two badniks about it. To Sonic's surprise, they shoo him away, stating that they're after someone else. Sonic actually seems offended by this, as at this point he's probably fond of Scratch and Grounder’s antics and doesn't like them giving attention to someone else, hehe.

Sonic seems to take it personally when he realizes Scratch and Grounder aren’t trying to abduct or kill him this time!

Eventually the two bots snag their target, whom is promptly rescued by Sonic. Unfortunately for our heroes, the target is Easy Eddie, a jerk-ass ferret who rudely complains about every nice thing Sonic tries to do for him, and he even bullies Tails, too. What a turd! By the time he finally leaves, Sonic and Tails are relieved to be rid of him.

Poor Tails gets bullied and pushed around by Eddie right after Sonic saved him. :( Eddie sucks!

Meanwhile, at Robotnik’s fortress, Robotnik explains to Scratch and Grounder why catching Eddie was so important. At one point, Robotnik had a very powerful small chaos emerald attached to a ring, and Eddie had pick-pocketing it from him when passing by. Robotnik wants the ring back so he can use it flood a few countries on Mobius to scare all the world governments into surrendering to him.

I like the sunset in the background. Pretty!

Robotnik’s mustache gets a very “Dr. Suess” look to it when it gets all curly like that!

Back to Sonic and Tails, we see them setting a camp to rest at. Tails realizes that Eddie stole the lucky coin he keeps in his sock! Sonic gets pissed and runs off to find Eddie. Nobody messes with his little buddy!

Sonic looks like he’s about ready to choke that ferret!

Meanwhile, Eddie is busy at a school bus stop stealing food from some children. (this raises an Interesting point, I wonder if the governments on Mobius ever tried to convince Sonic and Tails to attend school, since they themselves are kids, too?) Eventually, both the heroes and the villains manage to find Eddie. Scratch and Grounder try to capture him again, but fail thanks to Sonic snatching Eddie up and replacing him with a rock inside their scooper machine. Robotnik gets pissed off that they brought him a rock, and Grounder tries to point out that it's a nice rock at-least, but the doc smashes them down to the ground anyway. As the two bots talk, this gives Sonic the knowledge of why Robotnik wants Eddie and, more specifically, his ring. After making Eddie give Tails his coin back, Sonic then also drags Eddie away to Professor Von Schlemmer's lab. At the same time, Robotnik gives Scratch a helmet to help him find Eddie. That helmet makes me think of Civvie 11's helmet...

“Robotnik: You brought me a rock?!” “Grounder: At-least it’s a nice rock?...”

Scratch looks like he’s ready to go on youtube and make videos about old FPS games...

At the Professors lab, all sorts of ways are tried to get the ring off of Eddies finger. Many result in him being violenced or humiliated, which I don't entirely mind as he is a huge asshole. They actually get his ring off at one point, but then Eddie traps Sonic and the Professor inside one of the machines, snags the ring from Tails, and flees to Robotnik’s fortress. Robotnik pretends he's going to buy the ring off of Eddie only to then throw him in the dungeon!

Tails says he can’t pull the ring off of Eddie’s finger even when he’s covered in lubricant. Um, maybe because you’re pulling his finger instead of the ring, Tails...?

Have I mentioned how much I love the Robotnik art in this episode? They did an amazing job giving him so personality. :D

Sonic arrives to steal the ring back from Robotnik before he can use it, and throws it into the ocean so nobody can find it again. Eddie appears, having escaped his prison cell by stealing the keys from Scratch, and seems to have finally given up stealing as he gives everyone their stuff back. Character growth!

Tails got dat My Little Pony scrunchy face again. :D

The sky and ocean in these scenes look real nice! And Sonic standing up on that cliff ledge makes me think of the Sonic CD opening video, too.

Why did Eddie steal the Professor’s underwear?! What kinda stuff you into, Eddie?

In the Sonic says segment, Sonic and Tails almost get caught by Scratch and Grounder because Sonic skipped breakfast that morning. They go to eat and talk about how important it is to stay well fed. I agree! Heck, I tend to get headaches when I don't eat enough or snack to much on junk food without having a proper meal.

This episode was great! It was nice to see that jerk Eddie eventually have some character growth, and it's always nice to see the Professor too. This episode also has some really nice art in it. Some of the backgrounds are quite pretty, and this episode might just have some of the most expressive Robotnik I've seen in the show. Definitely a good one to check out!

Now, my next review was actually going to be for "Sonically ever after" the last episode of the series, but I recently got a request to do a review for the pilot, which I hadn't even thought to include in all this. So, I'll be doing that one next, instead! See y'all next time, stay cool, and be kind to one another!

7 notes · View notes

livingzomboy · 2 months

Text

neurotypicality is the real mental illness yall suck ass you cruel worthless disgusting excuses for humans. Youre all evil because your ways of thinking cause harm to COUNTLESS people and have fof CENTURIES. Just a few decades ago i would already have been lobotomized. Put in an asylum. Experienced unethical electroshock therapy. And just in my modern life i have been thrown to the floor and sedated violently for experiencing a panic attack in s hospital. I have had the police treat me like a CRIMINAL for wanting to die. Neurotypicality is what fuels so much hatred and bigotry in the world.

What do you mean i cant use the actions of a government to justify my hatred? What do you mean that the neurodeveloment a person cant control is no reason to hate them? What do you mean neurotypicals are also victims of trauma? What do you mean you cant be inherently evil? Replace neurotypicals with narcissists, pwBPD, ASPD, HPD. See how stupid it is to assume that one group is responsible for all the violence ive faced in the world?

But on top of that, ive befriended many a neurodivergent, and have we had our ups and downs OF COURSE! But everyone who has bullied me has at worst depression or anxiety. The boys who conered me in a bathroom and attempted to force me to expose my genitals were neurotypicals. It is neurotypicals who are rigid. It is neurotypicals who force their lives and rules onto others, and it is a neurotypical society that makes the symptoms of most neurodivergence demonized and aggravated. Neurotypicals are just as much the problem as the neurodivergents who are abusive or violent. And it is often neurotypicals that drive us to those places.

It starts small with trying to force rules on us to behave "right" without telling us the rules, then its calling us cringe, bullying and isolating us, then it is violence towards us (Speaking as a schizospec we are more likely to be victims of abuse, and all neurodivergent people are more likely to be victims.) that is then justified because we are "crazy" or because our reactions are funny to them. It is them targeting visibly autistic people and giving them meltdowns in public that they record and use to demonizd us snd call us names. It then escalates to us neurodivergent folks feeling like the only way out is to die, like the only way to be heard is to scream. We are taught that violence against us can be justified, but our reactions cannot. And all because its no big deal to a neurotypical. I had people who would grab onto my arms, my scars, my hands. And it feels like searing pain. But they don't understand that feeling so me crying is funny to them. And when a neurodivergent or mentally ill person is violent, nobody talks about how people hurt us first. How they shut us out and refused to help.

Neurotypicals are the problem. Because your society hates us, hurts us, and calls us monsters.

2 notes · View notes

brw · 1 year

Note

are the avengers cops? how does any of this works comics are so confusing

are the avengers cops ; no. at least, not originally, and not really until 9/11, but then I would argue that the majority of superhero teams including the xmen have fed into propaganda for the military since 9/11. before that though, the avengers were really not cops; they all actively hate and resent the government agent henry gyrich who is supposed to be their overseer, i mean, vision, Wanda, Beast, and im pretty sure sam all physically wanted to beat the shit out of him. in one issue of the avengers, beast says to simon williams while flying to help some russian people "there's no american before our name". Vision was often used to discuss minority politics under comics code authority, as was Wanda.

after 9/11, they have become much more militarised, I'll admit that, but again, I'd argue that also applies to the Justice League or anyone else. But that definitely isn't reflective of the Avengers as a whole and dismissing them as cops or feds is just dumb because various avengers characters have actively had stories about the corruption of the military and the police force and police violence or police apathy; similarly, the xmen became cops during x-treme x-men, so you can't really claim one team to be one way and make excuses for another.

And yeah, it's a problem... I don't want to say it's exclusive to xmen fans but I'll be honest, I haven't seen comic Avengers fans or comic FF fans or comic GOTG or Inhumans or whatever fans act the same way in the same volume; you might get the odd person making fun of the X-Men but they are few and in between. And I like the X-Men; Armando Muñoz is one of my fave characters who I am constantly starved for content of, and Ororo and Kurt and the rest go without saying as being great characters. But there's just this weird like... inate anger towards the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, for some reason and I don't know why? I mean, I mostly blame those podcasts ( you know who ) who constantly make excuses for like... bodysnatcher betsy but the avengers all get painted with the cop brush and are just not discussed unless to clown on them. Which is fine, but then dont act like you have zero influence on fandom perceptions of these characters 😭

Anyway, genuinely, there should be more willingness to be just apathetic. Like, if you haven't read the FF, you can just say oh , they're not my thing, you don't need to talk about how Reed Richards is anti-mutant and a cop and has personally murdered your mother, like cmon 😭 again, I'm sure fans of other comic teams are also guilty of this, but it is by large a phenomenon in x-men circles and it's annoying because it kind of keeps me from reaching out to other fans, like I actually LIKE these guys but if you're also telling me how much these other characters that I'm really passionate about suck ass then I don't want to interact with you! I stop feeling passionate about these characters because I feel like everyone who likes them vehemently hates the other guys I'm into! It's just disheartening a lot of the time for people with eggs in more than one basket I think.

But there are plenty comic communities that are okay, I mean, I'm having a pretty good time on the small ant-man fandom! By nature of how divisive Hank is, a lot of people are already used to people having other opinions so it's mostly chill, and there are a few discords I'm part of that are nice and chill! It's just sort of hard to find them, especially on twitter, beyond like, a few FF fans and the very small comic Scarletvision fandom everyone there is so aggressive it's not a fun time 😭 keep searching tho anon, there are good communities out there! Just hard to find through the qrts of the official marvel account sudjdndbhffh

#asks #anonymous

9 notes · View notes

scenefox2003 · 2 years

Text

Yunan and Marcy Bond On The Pirate Ship

Aka I suck at creative titles but it’s exactly what it sounds like (it’s Yunan’s turn to parent, she kinda sucks at it at first tho)

Yunan growled as she yanked a rope with all her might, hoping to get enough wind power to chase after the enemy ship. Irritating laughter rang out as it drifted away, so close yet so far away. Most of her supplies for the trip went along with it, in the greedy clutches of a little green Manlet.

“That was too easy!” Tritonio shouted from the stern of his ship. “I’m honestly shocked, I thought the Newtopian government had no care in the world for sad little orphans!”

“It doesn’t for you, you little shit!” Yunan screamed, gripping the railing as if she could strangle it. “Just go to therapy and get over it instead of making everyone else’s lives a living hell!”

There was no use in acting civil, Yunan had already been humiliated. By Tritonio, nonetheless. That little prick with his dumbass accent and stupid haircut… he was always getting in the way, swindling her and making her look like a joke! Not to mention the time he tried to seduce her at that seedy bar… it didn’t work for obvious reasons but he still managed to steal her wallet somehow.

“Oh, quit your whining! Why don’t you just go buy more with that fancy royal credit card of yours? Oh, that’s right, I stole it! And you’re still too much of a pussy to tell Andrias and get a new one!”

Tritonio’s ship rang out with laughter, and Yunan felt her face getting hot. But her brain wasn’t fast enough to come up with a proper comeback, so there was a solid ten or so seconds of them laughing at her before she responded.

“I don’t even know why you thought that trick would work! Just looking at you makes me gayer! Go shove your dick in a rusty tin can for all I care, you good for nothing charlatan!”

But by then the enemy ship had already drifted into the sunset, and Tritonio had gotten the last word. Yunan let out a feral growl and punched the railing with all her might.

“MOTHERFUCKER!”

The shitty old wood cracked and splintered, and she was about to do it again before a small voice spoke up from behind her.

“Um… Captain Yunan?”

Yunan swiveled around to face Marcy, who was standing awkwardly behind her. She had honestly completely forgotten she was there. Yunan was used to traveling alone, but this time Marcy wanted to be dragged along.

“Come on, Liv! You know I hate sailing with a crew! They just slow me down!” She had whined when she heard the news.

“It’ll be good for you,” Olivia had insisted. “Being alone on that musty ass ship for that long isn’t healthy.”

“Excuse me, the S.S. Pussy Destroyer is NOT musty! Besides, If it’s so lonely, Why don’t you come with me?”

“You know how much I hate boats, that old thing is a death trap and I get seasick already. Besides, Marcy’s delightful, you’ll love her.”

“So you’re willing to put HER on a death trap?”

“Oh, just fucking take her.”

And so she did, and Olivia wasn’t wrong. Marcy was sweet, and very helpful as well. But having her around now to witness her defeat… wasn’t ideal.

“Well that was a fucking disaster,” Yunan spat, starting to pace. “We’ve lost most of our supplies which means we’re gonna have to dock somewhere and buy more. God, I hate people, why can’t anything go RIGHT!” She screamed, tearing her hair out. She wasn’t even talking to Marcy at that point, just venting her frustration, and Marcy once again had to say something to make Yunan remember her existence.

“So uh, what should I do? Can I do anything to help, or-”

“I dunno! I don’t really care, and I don’t need your help. Just get out of my way so I can fix this mess!” She scoffed, waving her away with her hand. Yunan’s words had come out unintentionally harsh, like most of the things she said, but she didn’t really notice until she saw Marcy’s face fall.

“Oh, o-of course, I’m so so sorry, I’ll just, uh… leave you be, I’m sorry!”

Marcy quickly ran off to the cabin without another word. Yunan considered following her for a second, a bit concerned, but decided to focus on the task at hand, shutting herself in the storage room to get to work. Marcy could probably handle herself.

Once Yunan had taken inventory and come up with a revised plan for the rest of the trip, the sun had already set. She was more than ready to collapse into her hammock and call it a night, but when she went into the cabin she noticed Marcy’s hammock was empty. Her sword and red pirate hat were on the floor, seemingly dumped there, but the human was nowhere to be found. She bent down to pick up the hat.

“Huh, that’s… weird,” Yunan muttered to herself, about to shrug it off and call it a night. But something about it bothered her. She left the cabin and headed up the stairs to the upper deck, wanting to get a bird’s eye view of the ship and hopefully spot Marcy.

About halfway up the stairs she heard sniffling and small, stifled sobs.

Yunan’s heart immediately sank. She thought back to how she had acted, and the more she replayed the scene in her head the more she realized she was the asshole.

“Fuck!” She whispered to herself. “I’m so stupid! I was way too harsh with her! She’s like what, thirteen? God!”

She stood on the steps awkwardly for a moment, then finally built up the courage to climb the rest of the way up.

Marcy sat at the edge of the boat, hunched over in a tiny ball, hugging her knees. She pulled her jacket tightly around herself as she shook. Yunan couldn’t tell if she was shaking just because she was crying, or because it was cold, or because of the boat rocking.

Yunan hesitated for a second, feeling a bit awkward. She wasn’t good with people, that was Olivia’s job. But she couldn’t help but feel bad for Marcy, and she was the only other person on the ship. Not to mention it was probably her fault she was crying in the first place. She had to do something.

“Uh, hey kid…” Yunan called out awkwardly, trying her best to use the sweetest voice possible. “You okay?” She walked over to sit down next to Marcy, but she didn’t turn to look at her. She just stared down at the waves below, her eyes glossed over with tears.

“I’m sorry,” Marcy choked out, pulling her coat tighter around herself. “I’m so sorry, I just-“

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” Yunan quickly reassured. It didn’t seem to make things better though. Marcy sobbed a couple times, no longer caring about how loud she was, then wiped her nose on the sleeve of her jacket. It was pitiful to watch, and Yunan found herself looking away from Marcy and out at the ocean, trying to figure out what to say. She felt completely useless in this situation, she wished Olivia was there.

Wait, that’s it! What would Olivia do? Hmm…Probably the right thing or some shit. God damn it.

Yunan sighed, swallowed her pride and turned to look at Marcy again.

“Listen. About what I said earlier-“

“I’m sorry!” Marcy quickly interrupted. “I… I should’ve fought harder, but I let them get away with all our stuff, I wish I-“

“No!” Yunan shouted, surprised at how desperate she sounded. “That wasn’t your fault at all! It… it was all me. I’m so sorry for being a jerk. You didn’t deserve that.”

Yunan couldn’t help but be impressed with herself. Since when did she admit wrongdoing? It was admittedly weird, but something about it felt… right.

Unfortunately, it didn’t do much.

“But I DID!” Marcy wailed, burying her face in her knees. “I just took their hits like an idiot, like I always do! I’m such a bumbling fool! I got in the way of your mission just because I wanted to play pirates! You didn’t have to let me come, I know you like to be alone anyway and I’m just slowing you down-“

Yunan’s eyes widened in shock, and her heart turned to lead. Those words sounded too familiar. She placed a hand on Marcy’s shoulder.

“Woah, hey, stop. Look at me.”

Marcy stopped her tirade and finally looked at Yunan, her face an absolute mess. If Yunan felt guilty before, it was now eating her alive. She sighed and looked down, unable to handle it anymore.

“You… you heard me and Liv talking the other day, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” Marcy squeaked out. “But you were right outside my door and you were talking kinda loudly.” She recoiled again, as if she was expecting her to retaliate, which broke Yunan’s heart. She sighed again, a long, soft sigh.

“Shit,” she muttered. “I’m so sorry, Marcy. I never said any of that because I don’t like you… I’m just really bad with people, and I was… God damn it, I was scared okay?! I admit it!”

Yunan was being genuine, and tried her best to show it, but it was no use.

“You don’t have to lie to me!” Marcy wailed. “You’re never scared! You shouldn’t have to do stuff like that! I should be better for you! I need to be better, you newts have given me everything and you’re all so nice to me and I just don’t understand why, I need to prove I deserve it-“

Before Yunan could even realize what she was doing she was hugging Marcy, holding her only for a split second before coming to her senses and rapidly letting her go.

“Woops, I uh, don’t know what came over me, I’m sorry-“

But then, just as quickly, Marcy was hugging her back, colliding into her and wrapping her arms around her waist. She buried her face in Yunan’s soft pirate blouse and squeezed her tighter than Yunan even knew she was capable of.

“I love you guys so much,” she sobbed, her voice muffled. “You deserve better than me, I’m horrible.”

Yunan tutted, and wrapped her arms around the girl.

“Aww, hey. Where’s all this coming from? How are you horrible? You have a perfect track record for missions and everyone loves you.”

“Not anymore! All our stuff got stolen, and when King Andrias and Lady Olivia find out I failed they’re not gonna want to be my friends anymore!”

With that everything started to make sense, and comforting seemed to come almost instinctively to Yunan. She curled her tail around the both of them, pulling Marcy closer.

“That’s crazy talk. Andrias and Olivia would never do that, I promise. They think the world of you.”

Marcy sniffled, then looked up at her, trying to tell if she was lying.

“They do?”

Yunan barked out a laugh.

“Yeah, DUH! I haven’t seen Andrias care about a person EVER, and then you came along and he actually seems genuinely happy. And Olivia can be a prude, but I know she loves you too.”

Marcy’s eyes welled up with more tears.

“But I don’t-“

“Nope, don’t even say it. Yes, you do. You deserve every wonderful thing King Andrias spoils you with.”

Yunan sighed, and in the gentlest action she had ever done, she wiped away a tear that rolled down Marcy’s cheek.

“You’re a good kid, Marcy. And yeah, you’ll probably grow up to be even better, but that doesn’t matter. Me, and Olivia, and Andrias, we all love you for who you are right now, not who you could be in the future.”

Marcy was silent for a while, overcome by emotion. Yunan wrapped her arm back around her, and Marcy buried her face back into Yunan’s shirt. Then she said in the tiniest voice, “thank you, I really needed to hear that.”

Yunan smiled softly, and patted her back.

“Sure thing, Master Marcy.”

Marcy sobbed quietly into Yunan’s side, and Yunan let her, sensing this was something she had needed for a long time. She wrapped her cape around Marcy’s shoulders and held her tight, rocking the both of them gently back and forth with the ship.

“You’re alright, kid. I’ve got you.”

The rhythmic sound of the waves mixed with Marcy’s hitched breaths lulled Yunan into a bit of a trance, which was only broken a while later when Marcy spoke again.

“I’m sorry for crying all over you…”

Yunan just chuckled.

“Do you really think the great General Yunan, scourge of the sand wars, defeater of Ragnar the Wretched, and the youngest newt to ever achieve the rank of general in the great Newtopian army is afraid of a little snot?”

“Yeah, I guess not,” she sniffled. “You’re really cool.”

Yunan couldn’t help but grin.

“Fuck yeah I am!” She gloated, playing it off as if it didn’t mean as much to her as it did. “You are too, you know.”

“No I’m not, I’m being such a baby right now.”

“Everybody needs a good cry sometimes.”

“Even you?”

Yunan sighed, and ruffled Marcy’s hair.

“Yes, even me.”

Marcy giggled, then yawned.

“Getting sleepy?” Yunan asked.

“Mhm.”

“Want to go back down to the cabin and go to bed?”

“No, I wanna watch the ocean some more.”

“Yeah, it’s really pretty tonight, isn’t it?”

Marcy yawned again then shifted a little, getting comfy.

“Yeah, it is.”

The vast blue ocean moved gently up and down, the sight complimented the soothing rocking motion perfectly. In the distance, a dolphin leapt out of the water in a graceful arc.

“Look Marcy, a dolphin!” Yunan said, but she didn’t get an answer. Marcy was already fast asleep. She chuckled a little to herself, carefully picking her up to carry her to her hammock. With Marcy in her arms, she had a moment of self awareness.

“Damn, I’ve really gone soft, haven’t I?”

She got no answer besides Marcy’s soft snores. She chuckled again, then headed downstairs.

She’d have a lot to tell Olivia once they got home. Maybe sailing with a crew wasn’t so bad.

#amphibia #marcy amphibia #general yunan #yulivia #newt moms #yes her ship is named the S.S Pussy Destroyer BECAUSE I SAID SO #LET THE NEWT MOMS SAY BAD WORDS #marcy wu

33 notes · View notes

phosphophy11ite · 1 year

Text

Neon Genesis Evangelion Ep 1 "Angel Attack" -> Review/analysis ^_^

i want to start off by saying nge is probably my favorite show of all time. however, it can be hard to understand, especially near the end, so i would like to offer some guidance/commentary on it! but my main point in writing these is to share my thoughts on characters' complexities, parallels, and symbolism!! there will be spoilers for the show, as my writing's intended audience is people who have already seen it.

in my opinion, "angel attack" has to be one of the best first episodes ever. it sucks the viewer right in, sending them straight to a futuristic tokyo: buildings are sinking, the city seems to be empty, and there's a giant alien of course. several clips are shown of scenes from the around the city, they introduce the setting but also feel quite eerie to me as they are paired with an emergency broadcast.

and then our protagonist, shinji ikari, is introduced. he's trying to get ahold of his father's organization, as he's been dumped into the middle of a disaster with an angel on the loose. shinji gets no response, which is our first little example that neither nerv or shinji's father care very much about his safety. then misato katsuragi pulls up in a bright blue sports car and whisks shinji away, saving him from an explosion caused by the government fighting with the angel.

misato drives away with shinji, and when they're a good distance away she stops her car and pulls out her binoculars to observe the angel. despite the dangerous situation, misato is curious. after all, humanity hasn't seen an angel for 15 years, and the appearance of one is even more important for misato as this is the first of the creatures she's vowed to destroy. and then...

yup, the government sets off a bomb. incredibly dangerous, and it nearly kills shinji and misato. another example of the government's disregard for peoples' safety (though civilians are supposed to be evacuated by now). the responses from civilians and the government to the angel could represent humans' primal reactions to danger: fight or flight. people run away and hide, and the government gets ready to attack. this could also represent humans' reactions to problems: face them head on, or avoid them (escapism, which is a HUGE theme in nge). or it could represent literally nothing.

the land mine doesn't do anything, so nerv is permitted to use their 'special weapon' which we find out shortly... mwahahaha. misato somehow manages to patch up her car with some stolen batteries, and starts driving back to nerv. shinji is pretty skeptical about it all, which leads misato to call him a hard-ass, to which shinji (fairly) calls her childish. in a very shinji way:

once they arrive at nerv, misato asks shinji if he knows what his dad does here. shinji does not:

he's disconnected from his father, he knows very little about him, he feels uneasy about being invited to nerv yet he goes. he goes because a) shinji is a people pleaser to avoid additional problems for himself b) he is a 14yo boy, he yearns for his father's approval whether he'll admit it or not. this little comment here is one of the first hints that shinji and gendo don't have a good relationship.

once inside nerv, misato is lost (another example of her immaturity) and pages ritsuko to help her find her way. as soon as ritsuko is introduced, the viewer can see that she and misato contrast each other: misato is extroverted and bubbly while ritsuko is more quiet and reserved. but they seem to know each other, and ritsuko pokes fun at misato for not knowing her way around.

and here comes my favorite scene from the episode! ritsuko, misato, and shinji board an elevator-type-thingy, and have a conversation about the odds of unit 1 working:

misato: is that thing really going to work? it hasn't worked once, right? ritsuko: the odds of a successful activation are 0.000000001%. misato: doesn't that mean it won't work? ritsuko: don't be rude. it's not 0%.

this conversation obviously sticks with misato, as throughout the series she creates some pretty wild plans to defeat the angels, and when met with "hey how is that possibly going to work" she replies with something along the lines of "well that chances of success aren't 0". also, these shots are super cool with the silhouettes and the eva's hand reaching out menacingly. it's important to note that throughout misato and ritsuko's conversation (which if i overheard it would definitely make me a bit concerned) and while an evil looking hand looms in the background, shinji isn't paying attention at all, he's ignoring any potential problems ... smells like escapism.

after this, shinji meets unit 1 and it's revealed that the reason he was called here by gendo was to pilot the eva. shinji had expected that his father only wanted to see him because he needed him for something, but he certainly didn't expect it would be for something this big or scary. unsurprisingly, shinji refuses to pilot unit 1. many will call this a sign of cowardice, but i actually think it was pretty brave of shinji. he's in a room surrounded by adults (including his father) who want something absurd from him and he has the guts to say no. go shinji! not being a people pleaser!

misato tries to convince him to pilot by delivering this line that pretty much sums up shinji's internal conflict. but he's not so swayed by this. he's got his mind made up until he sees rei ayanami being rushed down in a hospital bead so she can pilot the eva. she looks sickly and she's covered in bandages. shinji defies his father, but once he realizes that gendo's going to put that poor girl in the robot he decides he'll do it. he's piloting it for rei's sake, not gendo's. this was also a pretty brave decision from shinji, and certainly a selfless one.

so shinji gets in the robot. he's scared and overwhelmed, but he'll do it. he mutters to himself "don't run away", echoing misato. unit 1 is sent up to fight the angel, and it looks rather menacing and very similar to the monster it's trying to fight:

and so the episode ends!!! dundundunnnnnn what's gonna happen to shinji? stay tuned to find out.

this first angel is named sachiel, so i tried to do a little research on where this name comes from. some consider sachiel to be an archangel, and others a cherubim angel. apparently the essenes, an early mystic jewish sect, thought sachiel to be 'the angel of water'. in nge, sachiel is seen swimming through flooded tokyo. there's lots of debate over how much christian imagery and symbolism in nge is any more than surface deep so who knows if any of this means anything but i think it's still fun and worthwhile to look into it.

#my writing #this is so bad lol but i had fun writing it :')#neon genesis evangelion

6 notes · View notes

horus-solis · 1 year

Text

Hallucinogen

CW SELF HARM SUICIDE HALLUCINATIONS AND DELUSION

All in first person because it's just easier for me to write

But this is luca's backstory

I grew up with my father who also had schizophrenia.

He wasn't a bad father per say but he wasn't always there.

He refused to take his meds and he was always on edge about something. But he did love me.

He actually named me after him so he would call me hombruna growing up.

He was my only parent too. My mother wanted nothing to do with either of us... which... I get. He wasn't exactly a stable person even when he was okay so I understand being afraid of me being like that too...

I grew up in several places.

Mostly new Mexico, Texas, and Oklahoma. I was always in and out of school because he would get so Paranoid about cps and the government that he'd move us to a new city or state at least once a year.

So I never was too social. I sucked at making friends and to be honest the only person I trusted was my dad.

He may have be Paranoid and drunk but I could rely on him to listen when I needed something.

I learned quick he wouldn't help me unless I asked for it, but I also was a pretty timid kid. I knew from the start he wasn't always able to help me. So learned how to fend for myself pretty quick.

But.

If I did approach him and ask for help, which I rarely did. He would be right there and do what he knew how.

Which often was either fight shit head on or... run.

Around 17 I started hallucinating too...

At first I could hide it but eventually I couldn't handle it

I tried to keep as much off his plate but... I broke one night I was so bad I'd cut myself pretty deep and I was scared. I'd never done anything this bad and so I showed my dad.

He was definitely freaked out to say the least. I finally broke it to him I was seeing and hearing things and that's when it hit him the worst

He had a pretty bad delusion that the government was out to get us.

And that they were putting things in his brain.

So when I started showing signs he thought they were doing the same to me...

He packed our bags pulled me out of school and we fled to Canada. Or at least we tried.

We drove and made it to Washington. We were so close but he'd just gotten worse.

I was just 18 at this point so I had no idea what to do. And with my own psychosis kicking off we just fed off eachother...

I had enough one night and I ran away. I would always go on longer walks while I was growing up so he didn't worry until about two days in... that's when he called me over and over.

My head was just so heavy I couldn't answer.

I got voicemail after voicemail

A few asking me to come home and that he was living for me....

I still haven't listened to them all.

Especially the last one he sent...

I just shut down.

He died that night and I blame myself for it.

After that I finally got help.

His funeral was covered by the homeless community I stayed with for a while.

As long as I stayed on my meds and got my ged they'd help.

And I did it. But I didn't stay that way.

I wasn't perfect.

I was so numb for most of it.

At first I thought it was because of his death but it just got worse.

My mind wouldn't work. So I finally figured it was my meds.

I stopped taking them. Stopped getting help from the homeless community. Started living on the streets

My hallucinations started again. And I lived like that around Washington for two years.

In and out of episodes, in and of jail for starting fights.

And almost went back when I had an episode in a park.

Thought the cops were gonna take me again.

And that's when I met gonda and taiyoshi.

They saved my ass... and that's where you meet me in the comic

#artists on tumblr #art #digital art #krita #dark art #personal art #oc art #devilmaycare #luca #schizophrenia #schizoaffective #im hallucinating again #short story

5 notes · View notes