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recallingrealities · 4 years

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Aligned, Chapter 5 (Zelda x Reader - NSFW)

For Chapter 1, click (here)

Chapter 5: Revision

(Warning: NSFW)

“As you are aware, the Academy of Unseen Arts has experienced sweeping change this past year. Our practice as a Coven, the source of our power, and the direction of our influence has changed drastically. We have had the blessing of our magics' resurgence, and I believe with the start of a new perspective, this comes a time where change is in great alignment - like the faces and phases of our Mother Goddess. It is time to begin new practice in our teachings. New ways of mending old are the only preparation for what is to come. I have been reminded in tidings with the Goddess that our students at the Academy are not only being molded as the witches of our future, but also the foundation of our Coven in times to come.

Myself, like many of you attended the Academy yourself in peak age, and here we stand, the building blocks of a new Era. We are tasked to prepare them to surpass us, in every way. In the past, yearning for personal power has been detrimental and cast shadow over our students when it was our sole duty to guide and enlighten them. In my time here as Directrix, I find myself remembering not only my own schooling, but the memories of our interactions over the years. I believe it is safe to say a lot has changed since then. Remarkably, a lot has also remained the same.”

Her voice was genuine, a small smile imparted her lips momentarily before fading to neutrality, upon the exposure of her last sentence. Though the woman stood strong and charismatic in her words. Her breath fell, tender. She was speaking to us as if to a dear friend she was confiding in; unearthing a new season like a fresh break of dawn. A frozen meadow finally melting in glistening dew with the sunrise of the first spring. The radiant blue of the awakening sky, but also the surge of openness and radiance of her throat chakra - speaking her truth. It always felt enlightening to see visions of nature aligning with her human experience, it was intimate and honest in that way.

The closure of her enunciated words sent a whir of images to your mind; Faustus Blackwood. You weren’t sure why him specifically out of her centuries of life, but you knew better than to ever question the wisdom of the sight. You had never even met him, and yet somehow you had a sturdy certainty it was him who you saw in the energy he carried. His sour demeanor pressed the young woman, urging her to follow his every command. In the libraries and halls, over her shoulder in classes, and guiding in the way she splayed her hands. You felt his snaking energy intertwining even in the ways she prepared her tinctures, feeling his constant gaze on her. He played on her whiley independence and fondness for him during her time at the academy. He was making sure there was never too much space between them, that she was always within his sight if he willed to regain control of someone that had never belonged to him.

You were an invisible bistander, witnessing moments of her childhood as if you had been there then - in touch with her twining regrets as she released them, and somehow through her projection, you could sense his will and desires as well.

You witnessed the cruelty of Zelda’s youth - ferociousness, influenced by his eager suggestions and lustful teasing. He expressed to her the pleasure that arose in him, witnessing her engage in ‘vengent’ cruelty. He was excited by playing on her smallest resentments and projections of insecurity. He felt himself as if his own Dark Lord, enabling unprecedented harshness, like that of Zelda’s sister’s harrowing. The things she had regretted most, even to this day. She was pushed beyond boundaries of extremity. Faustus got high off the power he held over her, how easy it had felt for him to ignite small fires. Even pushing her to ease worry of her sister's possible death at her own hands It was as if he meant to tempt her despite his words. He was amazed he held such power over her, and never let her forget they were her decisions, not his. Despite his suggestions and blatant gaslighting, she had still found twinges of desire in him. You could not sense her reason why. Dancing in the twisted pleasures between guilt and need for validation, perhaps, he had become untouchable to her, or so he thought, in his moments of narcissism. Especially once he knew he could command her over someone she truly loved, her closest friend reputably, and blood.

The vision then, flashed forward. A wave of enchantment contorted the movements of her body, in polluting idiosyncrasy. She was in Rome, on her honeymoon and you watched as his mouth formed the words, as to summon her approach down the hall of some sect of the Vatican, ‘Lady Blackwood’. ‘They were married..?’ you thought to yourself, surprised that she hadn’t seen the toxicity in him, even after centuries had passed. You would have thought she would’ve become aware by now, at least before the curdling idea of engagement. Arguably she would have justified she was looking for power, but you could feel in her deepest desires, she still yearned for his affection and approval. The same controlling boy, narcissistic, and power hungry had her dance to his whim in ways she would never - not even to appease him in preference or liking. He willed her to do so, if only to revel in his own ability to control her, or indulge pleasurably in her humiliation. You had no idea she had been married to the previous High Priest, let alone that he had enchanted her into the floral delusion of an obedient housewife, doing his bidding and curtsying coyly towards his every desire. The way he seemed so similar in pompous boyhood, how nothing had changed, sent a surge of disgust through you, a simmering rage - watching her look longingly at him through visions that seemed to span years. The few moments where you witnessed her blinks of genuine affection for him, you felt as if they dragged begrudgingly slow and painful, in their mere seconds of resonance. As your sight began to retreat to the present, you were granted one last vision; watching her unfurl with fiery anger in final acknowledgement of his lifetime of mistreatment and control over her. It surprised you that such a strong cunning woman such as Zelda Spellman had been fooled by the lustful promises of such an ass for so long, but even in that you pitied her softness and desire.

You understood now why she had built such a strong exterior, even to those she loved. You had never met Father Blackwood. From the little you had heard, you felt yourself unable to cast an honest judgement until now, able to witness his actions for yourself. The only general consensus had seemed to be a relief that he was exiled by Lucifer, long before even Lilith was actively reigning. In this moment, you were just grateful to watch how much more grounded she seemed apart from him. Time and self confidence: independent of anyone else. She had grown, severing from the monster she had been close to. She had moved on from the time when she would accept comfort in manipulation.

“I believe we can do better. Not only for our students, but to enhance ourselves as the ancestors of our Coven - as the capable casters we have grown to be in these passing centuries. This semester, we will not only begin the personal mastery of each professor's subjects, but encourage the students to find their paths in co-consciousness; weighing teachings and skills from each subject to help further engross their studies. This is a time to hone our own power - to push ourselves beyond the boundaries we think ourselves capable - so that the students of the future will too surpass expectations and go beyond the capabilities of magic as we know it; ascending in strength and tactility as we have come to expect it from them. Amongst our faculty we will be prolific in each other's specialties, challenging ourselves in expertise beyond our own areas of concentration. We will use each other, the best in our fields, to make ourselves unhindered masters of all they will come to learn. We will give them a strong Coven to come home to. Not one shaken and scrambled by the projection of an uncertain future. We are strong Warlocks and witches alike, but we have grown strongest in our times together despite the aid of our individual origins. Teaching one another through our range of perspectives, we will show our students that they too can do the same, and be no longer bridled by the fears of the unknown. Before this semester begins, we will have already created a new, stronger curriculum to teach alongside one another. It has been no easy task altering history but we have already begun doing it by surviving Hell-on-Earth together. As we have seen in this chaotic, unexpected year, anything has become possible.”

She couldn’t help but let a small smile purse her lips, Sabrina had seemed to be the impetus of so much. One young Spellman had tipped the scales in altering all of their futures, changing the expected value of bloodlines and witch traditions forever. One young, unstoppable woman had done this, and Zelda knew with all of their combined power and intention, they could bring so much greatness, so much honor to their Coven. The group seemed to nod in humming agreement as she spoke.

“By being taught to limit ourselves, we have limited ourselves - all this time bridled and bound by the will of the Dark Lord, our tutors, the Council. So much has been accomplished and so much has changed in such a short time. This change has brought us a new beginning. The death of an old way to bring life to a new one. We will challenge our old beliefs, our boundaries, and push ourselves, willingly - and this way of life will bring us to new heights and expectations. We will embody every element, every source of possibility in a mixed application of powerful, fearless magic. By our own experience we will fortify our Coven, and best serve its potential with both our dedications to self, and the preparation of our students towards the foundations of the future."

The consensus erupted in applause. The charismatic revelations of their Directrix and High Priestess cementing them in certainty that she would be the guiding hand towards a greater future. It was that moment after, we had spent days in frequent seminars, practicing the magics many were familiar with, but had never mastered to the levels of personal preference. You were mixing magics and experimenting with ideas never thought of before; honing gnosis to divination, expanding transfiguration with projection, and creating new blooms of alchemizing tactics - beyond anything you had attempted before. Though you hadn’t truly known the other professors before now, you were witnessing the bonds between them rekindling - the sight showing their younger selves overlapping their present bodies. Smiling, they pushed one another to expand, to think and act creatively with each exercise. The seminars were ending with note taking and collaborations, scrying plans for updates to the coursework to come, to be finalized with the Directrix in private critiques.

Your private sessions with Zelda, like the other professors, were happening almost daily. As the days counted down, the finalizations of your class plans were solidifying, what felt like effortlessly. Though you were forming a natural rapport with her separate from professionalism, the way you connected through teaching was brilliant. Like a composer and a cellist, the collaborations of ideas and notes constructed a course forged through veritable passion. Though your original plans had required significantly less changes than you’d expected, you had both managed to contribute some substantial improvements in applying "Intuitive application" to the other core subjects. You could hardly believe this woman, this insatiably beautiful woman, that you now realized you were staring at. She was standing bent over the desk beside you, scribbling notes intently. She had just finished informing you of her plans to make your course on Intuitive Application, one of the core subjects to be taught at the Academy, henceforth. Your heart fluttered in your chest at her certainty and passion towards the lectures you’d written with her. It was as if she had the sight, to have such certainty in your ability to guide the students on interpreting their instincts, in applying their magic. She could practically feel you ready to protest questionably, when she said:

"I have no doubt that this is the final shift needed to connect so much valuable ancient knowledge to the new. There has been too much important study to be left drawl and dusted in the confines of a history course. All that I’ve read is far more relevant than that and there has been so much that deserves revibrance in modern application. The blank space between the old ways and what is considered modern knowledge has been deafening, and a great split in the community of witches and warlocks alike. Intuitive application is the consistency of what can be carried from the old and into the new, and always seems to have room for improvement. Your course is going to close the gap of wandering that has been left between the old books and present study. You should be incredibly proud"

She looked up at you, peering over her glasses as is to question your silence or coyness.

"I've read your journals, Y/N. I've read every lesson plan you’ve ever written, down to the draft and I am certain this course is going to change everything. It has shaken up so much in me - and my studies here at the Academy were a long time ago."

She had spoken so openly; about her experiences growing up at the Academy, the culture of witchcraft she had been born into, and been exposed to her entire - and how you would change in history forever. She made these statements with no flattery, but firm earnestness. She now meant for you to be at the forefront of it all, when she could have easily claimed your teachings for herself. You were in wonder of her. A new 'Foundations' class hadn't been added in over half a millenia, but between the urging will of the Goddess and your prolific ability to apply her teachings to any scenario, the Directrix felt it would benefit everyone significantly to have ‘Intuitive applications’ as a prioritized mastery.

You couldn’t believe her, as a single tear welled in the corner of your eye. You could barely hear what she was talking to you about right now, only able to watch her lips as they moved, the fuzziness of gratitude clouding your present perspective. You tried not to be fearful, but you knew it was truly excitement that guided you and humility as you watched everything coming together so perfectly. Even with it so, the purposeful intent of everything, you found yourself surprised at Zelda. By this point, there was certainty that you were beginning to know her, or at least how she presented towards you, but when her mask came down, even just for a fleeting moment, you were always surprised. She was continually impressed with your work, in fact even in your zoning. She was expressing it now behind the poise and professionalism of your critique. But you noticed how hard of a time she seemed to have hiding it, her growing opinions of you. They hadn't been clear to you beyond what the sight explained, but you always felt as if you were being eluded, that there was more to her mind.

You had witnessed Zelda's poker-face often during the faculty sermons, when you would flash her a wink or genuine smiles in reassurance. Once you had swept your hair over your shoulder, and you witnessed her maintain her composure, you hadn’t realized it did in fact affect her, when you realized she was avoiding gazing upon your exposed neck. You hadn't noticed it the first few times - the quirk hadn’t been purposeful on your part, not even realizing your mannerisms spoke to her. However, you were always able to find her, witness her true reactions through the spirit of her eyes. Her stone expression was bulletproof until you spoke in sections of Ancient Magics and wisdoms aligned with the history of Ancient Mesopotamians or Druidic peoples. It was your knowledge that seemed to affect her the most, in private. When your eyes would meet hers, effortlessly sharing your years of meditative work, and it was then she was in awe of you.

To you, this wasn't necessarily impressive, it was honorable. In resonance of truth and vulnerability you strove to embrace every moment of your life. With that being said, you often shared moments like this. Where Zelda was breathlessly enchanted, and held structurally sound by the quiet of her listening to you. With her active critiques and your witting ability to adapt with instinct, or connect intention she had not noted, you had finished tweaking your course structure with a quickness. As she set down her glasses, taking a step back to allow you to observe the final draft, you were surprised that she had not altered anything, only adding areas she wanted to hear more from you. It had been a martyr despite your clear attraction for one another. Both lustful and innocent, that you were able to keep the relationship so professional. Especially in the timing for how much you both could accomplish in the span of an hour. In fact, the last time you two had met, you'd gotten into such a deep conversation regarding intuition and intuitive desire, that she had almost lost complete track of time, making her late to her ‘Spellman family dinner’. She had been begging Hilda to make it a necessity, hopefully long enough for it to stick before Sabrina caught herself up in her next whirlwind of an idea. Luckily for teleportation, this was nothing that couldn't be explained. Before her fingers had grazed yours on her desk tenderly, she had leaned next to your ear and let out a lustful threat you had not expected.

"I am not finished with you yet"

She had managed to tempt you before quickly swifting away, with the blink of a transportation spell.

However tonight, you had finished in the first few minutes of your meeting. You had only smiled before when she left you with such taunting words. But now, as your fingers traced over her final notes, you couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. Aligning each page's corners to match, you placed them in the main drawer of your desk. As if all at once, Zelda pressed on your back firmly, with strong force. Pushing you down so your face and chest touched the desk. You had not expected this kind of strength let alone action from the woman. ‘What was she… doing?’ With a swift slam she had pinned you forward over your desk, supported against the cold hardwood frame, her touch direct with purposeful intensity. The surprise of the action revoked your breath, a surge of heat stringing through you like sudden fingers striking a harp. Your mind jumped immediately to the thought of her fingers, and you knew she had turned on something in you that you never had felt in this way before. It was almost primal. You let out a guttural moan in response to the impact, hardly believing what had just slipped from the back of your throat. She pressed her hips up against yours with a harsh, quick movement.

You could feel her strong hip bones digging into the flesh of your ass. Her movements we're so powerful and reactive. You weren't sure if it was the sudden lust that had blurred your thinking, or the quick change in events, but you felt yourself hardly able to distinguish what was happening in this moment. Only now, that you were terribly aroused. You couldn’t help but sway your hips against hers, not even thinking about how much you were teasing her. Her loins were pressed to you and when you moved against her it was like that electricity from before was shooting off from the impact, through your body, and into hers at the points of touch.

“You dirty little little thing..."

Zelda tutted. She had hardly expected this from you, and that only seemed to drive her with more certainty. Her voice was low and satiating, you found yourself lingering on every crescendo in her tone. You couldn’t help but close your eyes, a melodic hum vibrating from your chest as you continued to grind against her. She slipped a hand up from your back to caress your scalp with her tender fingers.

“I’ve been meaning to reward you… for all of the dedication you’ve shown recently. It is not often I find myself expressing gratitude for such risk taking behavior”

She hummed, a hoarse lusting in her throat as she was reminded of your insistence in meeting with her for a position at the Academy. It has been the Goddessend that had kickstarted a wave of successes for her as High Priestess, and she meant to show you how grateful she was to your boundless attentiveness to her wishes.

She took a fistful of your hair before letting her fingertips trace there for a moment. Her left hand began hand slipping between the light space between her stern hips and your grinding body, roaming teasingly past the hem of your skirt. Wandering across your thigh, she didn’t stop you, but instead smirked, your rear now grinding wantonly against her curious hand. She paused for a moment as you stopped your movement, before connecting her manicured nails to your warming, sensitive thigh - dragging upward with a light twisting, stinged pleasure. Your eyes shot open, in realization that this had been like your vision; infectiously more desirable, even more now than the lustful moment you’d first experienced it. It was then you realized, not even consciously, you were feeling her thoughts, you were reading her mind.

She was incredibly aroused by you, mouth agape as she stared lustfully at your arched back, pressed towards her with desire. She now realized how badly you’d wanted her, and that her level of desire had finally been met. She had had her fair share of tangles in sex and yet the desire she felt from you now in your amplifying and prominent energy, spoke to her like nothing she had ever experienced. It felt like you were catering to her every desire. Though you were feeling her waves of emotion, you did not know what it was she was craving, exactly. You felt as though you were acting completely on instinct, leaning into waves of craving movement.

You felt her amusement to your sounds, as her awareness came to the lack of protection on your door. She wanted to wait just a while longer before locking it, or soundproofing the walls. She was enjoying the thought of someone questioningly hearing you, knowing she had been there for your critique. At your quiet gasp, she took a moment to adore the heat arising from your quivering thighs. She rolled her hips into you before leaning teasingly in your ear.

“You wouldn’t happen to be lusting, would you little minx?”

Her left index and middle fingers tips, swiped over the front of your panties, amused as they touched the damp silken fabric. A low chuckle warmed your ear, as one of her manicured nails played with its hem below.

“To be lusting for your Directrix, and High Priestess during a meeting of utmost formality would be highly inappropriate.”

You felt yourself holding back a wine, your eyes were squeezing shut as your teeth gripped your cheek with a coppering tension. It was then, you felt her thumb, pull your panties aside with expert ease, her sweeping fingers slipping between the folds of your aching cunt. She had stopped, allowing her fingertips to lightly pass over your buzzing clitoris, feeling your quiet whine sing through your body with such a high frequency - that she could feel it through your harping body. It was as her nails ghosted, pressing you vulnerably at the heat of your core: your eyes shot open, realizing the dangerousness of no enchantment on the door. You quickly felt the urge to squirm beneath her, scrambling to regain enough composure to cast a spell. You felt your heart begin to patter quickly with erratic intensity.

“Zelda- I-..” Your voice caught, interrupted by a squeaking break in your sentence, unable to finish your statement as her middle finger, swept over your clit, dipping ever so teasingly over your entrance.

“Yes, little mouse?”

She questioned, knowing exactly what you were likely to bring up.

“I- euhhh…”

You moaned, unable to speak properly between the melting relief you felt and the teasing tension of her touch

“t-the door…”

“The door?”

She repeated back tauntingly, almost mocking you with sinister affection. Her hand gripping your hair, she pulled back to raise your face, having you stare at the door. You knew full well that at any moment you were at risk of it opening, a passing professor perhaps having heard your desperate moans - or even worse a student. You knew exactly how it would look too, unexplainable. Sprawled upon your desk, your hair tangled tightly between her fingers. Her hand, though behind the view of the desk, dipping slow and now deep into your cunt. You closed your eyes again, holding back another escaping moan, this time relieving a seeping sigh, as your abdomen began to tighten with desperation. “Zelda… please...”

“Whom?”

She was fully aware you were not in a position with the strength to cast.

“D-Directrix...”

She ghosted another sweeping finger over your clit, before snaking painfully slow, leaving another finger to tease at your warm, dampening entrance.

“High Priestess..!” you begged, with a pressing urgency, as you attempted to move against the grasp of your hair, her hips quickly moving to jolt against her hand, sending another wave of shock and pleasure as her fingers entered you, with a curling tenderness, slowly pulling out only to leave you whimpering and unable to move.

She took another moment, to tease inward and outward, growing used to the slickness of your warm, aching cunt before whispering a quick cantrip, two fingers from her tangled hand, twisting against the back of your neck as she enchanted the door to lock, and the sound to be confined to this very room.It was after that she praised you

“Good girl…”

with a lusting tone, as she plunged her fingers deep inside of you. Thrusting herself into you with dexterous fingers, moving out just far enough to graze your clit with her palm between each stroking thrust. She began pounding you hard against the desk, your moans unwaveringly loud, as your shoulders arched towards her hot breath, now tender on your neck between powerful, talented thrusts. As your body flooded with waves of ecstasy, you began to feel her wet lips on your neck, leaving hot, entrancing kisses as if she was savoring the shivers of your desperate flesh, your galloping heartbeat.

“Zelds…” you sighed relievingly as you opened your neck to her, your hips able to move back just enough to rock against her powerful hips. Her entire body, surging forward to fuck you with powerful ferociousness. You felt as if you were being conquered, and willingly allowed your hungry core to flex in pleasuring pulses at each thrust. You couldn’t explain how desperately you wanted to touch her, despite being fucked with such veracity, except only to think of how much pleasure you were wading in, realizing only now how badly you had wanted her up until this point. She curved her touches upward, her palm shifting in tight motions against her own gyrating hips. She began feeling you draw nearer, beginning to feel you come undone against her. Waves of pleasure cascaded your body in convulsive surges, wrapped your tired form slack against her. Her fingers slowing, she snaked from between your sopping thighs before breaking from your neck, realizing the tenderness she had left there. Her humming mouth kissed the edge of your ear before leaning back up to take her fingers in her mouth. She released her grip from your hair, catching your chest as she felt you begin to fall forward towards the desk. She caught you, before turning your hips, to have you face her. Your shaking breath, and shy expression now forced to look upon her, pulling her sweetened fingers from her mouth. She didn’t break eye contact for a second, looking at you with lusting affection. Her pupils were immensely dilated as she scanned your face, and the pulsing beat of your chest as it rose and fell with your returning breath. You felt your face flushed under her gaze. You knew you had come completely apart beneath her. You could barely stand, luckily having the sturdy desk and her structured touch to hold you upwards by the small of your back. You moved to straighten your posture, realizing you couldn’t yet stand as you fell into her arms, your shaking body pressed to her breast, as your erratic breath struggled to form words.

She couldn’t help but smile as your forehead pressed to the crook of her neck, her touch lightly encircling tenderly across the span of your back, and up between our shoulder blades. It was there you two held in silence, the same tenderness as the night you had last spent together in your office. A sense of security in the shared intimacy, and embrace of your quiet breathing.

#zelda spellman x reader #caos fanfaction #zelda spellman #zelda spellman fanfiction #the chilling adventures of sabrina #chilling adventures of sabrina #self insert #fem reader #reader insert #miranda otto #aligned fic #mine #chapter 5

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smol-jinyoungie96 · 3 years

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The Devil Judge - Episode 6

Hi again! I just finished watching Episode 6 and man I was not prepared for any of it.

At all.

From the first time since they introduced Elijah to the storyline, she is portrayed as a teenager who despises her uncle for allegedly killing her father, but the a few episodes later they shows her softer side,She might hate Yohan but at the end of the day he is the only living family she has.

So the possibilities are that she masks her worries for Yohan behind the anger because sometimes, years worth of anger and pain might overpower any other emotions we have.

It is genuinely endearing to see that despite her openly showing her hatred towards him, she also pays close attention to him. For an example she knows that he doesn’t have a love life, or that he never stays out overnight. These are little things that she observes but never shows.

When Ga On and Elijah are talking, something that occurred to me is that she is just a child.

She’s 16.

The storyline makes us think about all the suffering for Ga On and Yohan but even Elijah carries a lot of it. All she has left is Yohan, but she has to live every single day wondering if he truly killed her father or not. She doesn’t have anyone she can talk to and that’s a lot on her plate to carry it all into her adulthood.

Elijah says “Yohan ruins everything that is close to him”

My guess is that he doesn’t do it in an intentional, destructive way but because everything that he has seen since childhood is violence, deceit, abuse, selfishness and destruction. May be pushing people away is his way of keeping them safe because I highly doubt that he received the help and the closure he needed when he was a child.

The child actors are so so so good! Their acting and the way they let out emotions through their eyes was amazing!

In the beginning, when Kang Yohan makes Sun Ah jump, for a split second it makes the viewers think that he has been a manipulator since an early age, but then as the story progresses,

he catches her stealing multiple times and interestingly, he hears her telling the caretaker that she is worried about him because he is leaving the basement a lot and that she is worried about him when she, was the one who suggested that he go out when his father was not around,

Imagine being in an abusive household, getting another child who is roughly your age trying to see it you could connect with only for her to start playing games.

He didn’t trust her then and he doesn’t trust her now, she never gave him a reason to.

I don’t think her interest in him is on a romantic light at all, it is more of an obsessive love.

Yohan saying “threats are useless, because I have nothing I wish to protect” is really just a bad move from his side.

So he doesn’t have Elijah? He doesn’t have an annoying little pest living in his house who resembles his brother?

Him saying that will only motivate her to dig deep to find what matter to him.

When he asks her what she wants and she says that she doesn’t care who he goes after as long as he stays away from the SR Foundation, it made me think that she is not stupid.

She is cunning and she just knows that telling Yohan to stay away from the foundation will only make him do the exact opposite. So there is a chance that it could be a trap?

Why did she take the cross chain from Yohan? Two possibilities, either it’s because she still likes it, or because she knows that it IS precious to Yohan, if she has it, she also has a reason to make him come back to her.

Coming to Elijah’s growing attachment to Kim Ga On,

he cares for her like a father would to his daughter, he cooks for her, he makes an effort to spend time with her, he covered her while she is sleeping etc.

No matter how much she tried to push him away, he is still there, he is becoming a constant in her life.

I’m not saying that Yohan doesn’t care for her.

Nobody cares for her more than he does probably but Yohan doesn’t openly show it.

When you’re a child, sometimes the thing you need the most is a solid presence of an adult and what she doesn’t get through Yohan, she gets through Ga On and well.. he also looks exactly like her father.

So it makes sense that she is showing a sort of a possessive attachment towards Ga On as if she is afraid that she will lose the one constant in her life.

It was wrong for Ga On to take Elijah out to meet Soo Hyun without asking Yohan first and it was also wrong of Yohan to chuck him to the wall like a ragdoll and to accuse him of taking Elijah to see a cop.

It’s obvious why Yohan is worried about his niece after everything that went down with Jung Sun Ah, but i feel like he shouldn’t have hinted towards going after Soo Hyun just to make a point.

Because for Ga On, Soo Hyun is all he has. He is already too neck deep into the Lion’s den and having the spotlight on Soo Hyun is a trigger for him.

The scene with Minister Cha and the other two women.

That was definitely Elite vs. Elite.

They are all at the same social status but when the times call for it, Minister Cha has the ability to make them drop to their knees.

The interaction between Jung Sun Ah and Minister Cha initially began with insults being thrown, belittling Sun Ah but now it has developed to a place where they help each other.

Minister Cha helps Sun Ah with the Foundation work and in return, Sun Ah helps her with taking revenge on Yohan.

Terrifyingly interesting.

Jung Sun Ah knows that Kim Ga On means something to Yohan, her first target is Ga On himself.

When it comes to Ga On, Min Jung Ho is a father figure, she already had a plan in mind when she made that biker lady trick Ga On.

When he asks Min Jung Ho, even he says that he suspects Kang Yohan and Yohan already threatened Soo Hyun so in his mind, the gears will start to work because he knows from experience that Kang Yohan really doesn’t mind going berserk when he wants someone out of his way.

Then the attention comes to Oh Jin Joo. Sun Ah is smart for this. The way she slowly poisons Jin Joo’s mind with that whole conversation about only men’s pictures being on the wall, for a moment is feels like she is encouraging Jin Joo to be ambitious but later! When the two associate judges are together, you just know that Sun Ah already got inside Jin Joo’s head when she goes “does he look down on me or something?”

Oh Jin Joo idolizes Yohan. So for her to slowly turn against him..

So technically her plan is to turn the baby associates against Yohan.

Bad lady

Coming back to Ga On struggling, he keeps seeing things that makes him rethink his intuitions when it comes to Yohan.

First it was the children playing with the ruler and now it’s a group of weird cult going around flogging people because “According to Kang Yohan, he will accept people’s wishes and flog terrible human beings”

So once again, the public adapting barbaric punishments from what they see in court, does make Ga On rethink about his choices.

Soo Hyun’s Attack

Obviously Yohan is keeping tabs on both Soo Hyun and Ga On, but then again, the drama really has their way of making the viewers think hard, For an instance,

The phone conversation Yohan has, the guy says “there is a chance she might know about the transfer”

Indicating that, to viewers again it makes us think that Kang Yohan really may have had something to do with the bribing or that they might actually go after Soo Hyun, but we all know that Yohan would never and it was pretty obvious who it was with the gloved hand,

So in conclusion,

biker lady attacks Soo Hyun, takes the passbook, gives it to Sun Ah who then plots with Minister Cha but unfortunately,

The threat Yohan made against Soo Hyun is too fresh in Ga On’s mind so obviously he suspect him first,

They highlighted that god damn German scissor too many times in Episode 6 and of course it is the same scissor Yohan stabs literal inches away from Bambi’s face.

Which was really an intricate scene, Jinyoung and Jisung as actors played it so beautifully. The unhinged anger and the disappointment in Yohan and the way Ga On realized that the man behind him is actually genuinely dangerous.

You can see the exact moment when that fear and realization sinks in Ga On.

That Yohan could hurt him badly if he wanted to.

Ga On functions on emotions when he’s not being a judge, so if he had actually taken a breather before provoking his boss with violent tendencies, he might have realized that Kang Yohan is just too smart to do something like that so out in the open.

There’s no doubt that Yohan really lets Ga On get away with a lot of shit he does.

But for some reason, the way he warned Ga On to never again attack him, felt like his first and last warning to me.

I absolutely LOVED the way Minister Cha thought that Yohan would crumble in front of her but my man just tells her to do whatever she wants… she should know that he wouldn’t be Kang Yohan if he didn’t wasn’t hundreds of steps ahead of them.

Something that I admired in the last scene is despite how annoyed or how mad Oh Jin Joo and Kim Ga On are at Yohan, when things get heated professionally, the two baby associates were so worried about him and they were completely ready to stand by his side even when they didn’t know any actual detail. Proud of my babies 🥺

But then, Kang Yohan accepting the allegations and Dr. Safety’s random appearance right at that moment seemed a little sus.

Almost too well timed.

Kang Yohan confidently asking the public to judge him because he knows that the public is on his side especially now that the reason for the money transfer is out in the open.

Kang Yohan’s decision of counterattacking the the Dream House Project right when the public take his side was a very smart move.

It was Minister Cha who tried to drag him through the mud but in turn he targets every single one of them socialites.

The last part felt like he was actually declaring war. The drama isn’t about poor vs. rich. It’s all about the internal works of the powerful class and I can’t wait to see how intense everything is going to be.

Lastly, the preview for Episode 7.

Why on earth did Yohan decide to bring out Ga On’s parents’ death and their case to the media?

Why take him to the jail?

Why rip open wounds from 13 years ago?

I know it’s stupid to jump in to theories and conclusions before we watch the episode because he always has a reason for everything he does,

But it made me think for a second was it because he wants to push Ga On to the limit until he breaks to the point where he has to solely rely on Yohan?

Because i get that Min Jung Ho is the parental figure in Ga On’s life but if Ga On were to ask him intense questions about his parents case, Min Jung Ho wouldn’t be completely honest with him, probably for Ga On’s safety but also there might be somethings that needs to stay hidden,

But Kang Yohan isn’t like that. He would be blunt and brutally honest if Ga On started asking him questions about his parents.

If Ga On were to rely on Yohan, that would also mean that Yohan would have control over him, either to use him as a pawn or to control Bambi enough to keep him safe and out of being targeted.

Lastly, am I the only one who is suspicious of Min Jung Ho?

If you made it this far again, thank you for reading my stress rant.

Now i’ll go back to silently stressing about next week because i have nothing better to do.

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firelxdykatara · 4 years

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Why do you think Zuko was out of character when he hired Sparky Sparky Boom Man ? And by the way am I the only who doesn't' have a problem with Zuko's characterization in the first half of book 3 ? I see a lot of people saying that they turned him into a bad boy or he was ooc but wasn't that the point ? Zuko was trying to be someone he wasn't. I don't know maybe i am not seeing something.

Mmmmm ok there are two different things here, and I’ll start by addressing the second: Zuko’s behavior in the first half of book 3.

To that, I will say that I actually don’t have a problem--overall--with his characterization there, because it made sense. As you said, Zuko was trying to force himself to fit into a space he no longer belonged. He was trying to be the Crown Prince his father wanted, he was the prodigal son returneth home triumphant after his defeat of the dastardly Avatar. He had everything he wanted--his honor, his father’s approval (but not, as he would come to realize, his father’s love), even a nice noble girlfriend of whom his father and the nobility at large would approve.

And it was only after he had everything he’d been searching for since his banishment, that he realized he actually had none of it. His honor wasn’t something he could get back from someone else, his father’s approval was conditional on the lie Azula had told him, his girlfriend didn’t understand him (largely because of the changes he’d undergone while banished and later exiled) and probably never would and their relationship was based on nothing but superficial attraction and his sister’s machinations. Nevermind his father’s love, which he never should have had to earn in the first place.

So of course Zuko was angry and emotionally volatile, prone to explosions of anger and frustration because he had no outlet for his pain, no means of conceptualizing why he was so desperately unhappy despite the fact that he finally had everything he’d ever wanted (or so he thought). It wasn’t until he finally had his own self-realization--and came to accept that his father, and his nation, was wrong, to maim a thirteen-year-old boy and to wage a war that brought nothing but pain and destruction to the people of the world--that he was able to look his father in the face and say ‘you were cruel, you harmed me and I did not deserve it, I’m leaving to help the Avatar and you can’t stop me, you have no power over me’, and leave.

(Notably, while he’s still somewhat emotionally volatile with the gaang, he’s considerably happier and healthier with them, because he’s no longer trying to force himself to fit back into a society he had outgrown. Once he becomes the Fire Lord it is within his power to change that society, but while he’s with the gaang he settles for learning the true meaning of fire and helping his new friends save the world.)

However, let me circle back around to one particular point: Combustion Man, and why I think hiring him was very OOC for Zuko, even as he was in the first half of book 3.

Because here’s the thing: the core of Zuko’s character has always been compassion and empathy. That is what got him scarred for life by his own father--it was compassion for his people and empathy for their lives that lead him to speak out during that fateful war meeting, staring down men more than twice his age and demanding they treat their own people better.

Ozai tried to burn away Zuko’s compassion, but, and here’s the critical bit, it didn’t. fucking. work. Because you see Zuko making the compassionate choice, again and again, even in book 1. He cares more about his uncle’s safety than the mission he’s been on for three years, and that is shown in episode seven of book one--so, almost from the beginning, we see that there is something more important to him than capturing the Avatar, and that’s his Uncle. But we also see that Zuko is never fighting to kill, or even maim. Suki’s village burning is an unfortunate side effect of a firebending, well, bending fire around a bunch of flammable buildings, but Zuko is not given to wanton cruelty or destruction for destruction’s sake--he doesn’t stick around to hurt the people who were harboring the avatar any of the times he catches up to the gaang and finds them surrounded by people willing to protect them.

Which, yes, you can absolutely quote katara and talk about the not as big of a jerk as you could have been award, but it’s still important to Zuko’s overall arc and the fact that Zuko is not the primary villain, even in book 1. Because Zhao is right there, being a primo bastard, to the point where Zuko even saves Aang from his clutches--and, sure, you could say that was just because he didn’t what Zhao to be the one who takes the Avatar back, but at the end of it all he didn’t give chase when Aang ran, letting him go and instead returning to his ship.

Then, of course, at the end of book 1, what do we see? Zuko, attempting to save Zhao’s life. This was a man he hated, a man who’d tried to kill him multiple times, a man who was competing with him to try and take the Avatar (and was far more cruel and excessive about his methods), but Zuko still reached out a hand to save him when La snatched him up. He tried to save the life of a man he hated and had no reason to want alive, because he’s a compassionate person and he didn’t want to see even a man he hated die like that. Zhao rejected his hand and ultimately sealed his own fate, but Zuko still tried. And then, of course, he spent book 2 on something of a roller coaster, emotionally and mentally, but he was still compassionate at his core, despite attempts to obfuscate it. He stole Song’s ostrich horse, but he helped Lee and his family, and didn’t lash out when his identity was discovered and he was ultimately rejected. He had such a crisis of conscience when he saved appa that he got sick, something that has been memed to death (especially lately), but it wasn’t because he did one (1) nice thing--because we’ve seen him make compassionate choices already--it was because he did a good thing that also jeopardized his one last chance and getting what he wanted (ie capturing the Avatar and returning home).

Now, obviously, he made the wrong choice at the end of Book 2, despite that experience--because when he freed Appa, getting what he wanted was still a somewhat distant prospect, but Azula was right there holding it out to him on a silver platter. Of course he couldn’t reject it! Even when that meant turning on his Uncle, even when that meant ultimately throwing Katara’s compassion in her face, he had the chance right then and there to just go home, and he needed to take it. (Not only because of his need for closure, but because narratively, he story would’ve felt rushed and incomplete if he didn’t get that chance to go home, have everything he wanted... and realize he didn’t actually want it at all anymore, let alone need it. Having said that, I love a good ‘Zuko joined the gaang at the end of book 2′ fic as much as the next Zuko fan. I just don’t think it would have worked as well in canon [although I still think he should’ve joined the gaang sooner, but that’s a whole other rant].)

What does all of this have to do with Zuko hiring Sparky Sparky Boom Man? It’s simple: I do not believe for one second that Zuko did not feel an immense surge of relief at the thought that Aang might have survived.

Now, obviously, this would have been followed by a surge of terror--because if Aang was alive, and his father found out, then what the fuck would happen to him???--which is why I think it would’ve made much more sense for Zuko to hire a tracker. Or, at least, someone he thought was a tracker. Azula slipping him a name of someone she knows to actually be an assassin, perhaps? Just to pile that guilt on Zuko’s shoulders should he be successful, or simply hedging her bets??? Who knows. But something other than Zuko knowingly hiring an assassin to track down and murder a child. (And all of his friends lmfao since Zuko would know they wouldn’t just let the dude kill him.) Especially when Zuko had never tried to kill anyone, even when he had the chance, in the entire show to that point.

Anyway, yeah, that’s why I think that Zuko’s behavior in the first half of book 3 made sense, and that him hiring an assassin was super ooc and I don’t vibe with it.

#atla #zuko #asked #lol wow this got long ANYWAY YEAH #overall i love zuko's arc #including his backsliding in book 3 #but that particular action was WILDLY ooc given what he'd done in the show to that point and who he was as a person #Anonymous

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just-another-ficwriter · 4 years

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Serendipity - Part Two

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Words: 2100ish

Warnings: Heartbreak, cheating, pregnancy, lying

Summary: Sweet Pea and Y/N are on different paths in life, yet something keeps bringing them back together.

Notes: Surprise! This is out earlier than expected it as I finished it earlier than I thought, I’d love to know what you guys think!

Read part one here.

It was only two years later when they found their paths crossing again.

To celebrate Sweet Pea’s 24th, Fangs had decided to throw a party and on a hopeful whim invited Y/N. He hadn’t even expected her to respond let alone turn up but he was excited all the same.

When Sweet Pea walked into the bar, more shocked to see her sitting on the same bar stool she had two years prior than the chorus of ‘surprise’ that was shouted at him. He could tell by the way the smile he loved so dearly didn’t quiet reach her eyes, that something had changed. He fought his way through the crowd, nodding politely at those who wished him a happy birthday, thanking them for turning up, sighing in relief when he finally reached her.

He’d expected some big gesture of affection, that longing hug that the two of them always seemed to share when they’d been apart too long. Only she didn’t even stand when she saw him, instead just giving him a wave and a subtle hello. The lack of physical contact had his heart aching and he found himself wondering if he’d stone something wrong. Had she really come all this way to act like their past hadn’t mattered to her?

He could barely focus on what she was saying, eyes trained on her lips as his mind wondered else where. The tension around them grew thicker second by second, the distance between them unbearable and just as he was about to question her his eyes caught a glimpse of it.

A silver band wrapped around a finger on her left hand, a single diamond glimmering in the Wyrm’s low lights and he was sure he was going to be sick right there and then. She caught onto what he was looking at fast, a slur of words falling from her lips like she had to justify it. She’d met her fiancé a year ago, a whirled wind romance resulting in a engagement. She was happy, or so she said, and Sweet Pea had to pretend he was too.

She was only in Riverdale for the weekend, her time shared between him, her other friends, and her family. Sweet Pea didn’t know why he found himself offering to drive her to the airport that rainy Sunday, maybe he was simply craving those last few seconds with her before she disappeared again and he knew he had to move on properly. A few more seconds of pretending like it wasn’t going to hurt like hell.

The drive surprised him. She laughed at the way he sung badly alone with the songs on the radio, joining in when she knew the words. The two danced in their seats, the same way they did when they bunked off school at seventeen and Sweet Pea wished they could be that age again.

When they reached the car park a sadness surrounded them, Sweet Pea’s hand shaking with all the words left unsaid. He wondered if she could sense the way he felt, if part of her felt the same as her lips ghosted against his cheek and she left his car. He watched as her blurred figure disappeared into the rain before he finally let it all go.

Tears spilled from his eyes, his breathing shallow as harsh sobs erupted through his body. He was so distraught that he didn’t realise she’d made her way back until she was reaching for him from the passenger seat. She willed him not to speak as their eyes met and her hands grabbed fistfuls of his t-shirt, pulling him closer. Their lips met in desperation, every thought and feeling being poured into a single kiss. And as they clambered into his back seat, he found himself suddenly grateful that the heavy down pour of the weather outside was acting as a shield against his windows, blurring what was going on inside.

When it was over a darkness swept over Sweet Pea once more as he pretended he couldn’t hear her apologising before she left him confused and even more broken than before, all his hope disappearing with her into the heavy down pour.

At twenty seven Sweet Pea felt like he might never see her again. Part of him was glad. Glad to have some sort of closure, glad that he was attempting to escape the never ending circle of loving her that only ever ended in misery and despair. Yet part of him clung onto a happy ending with her for dear life, not ready to move on and let go.

So many things had changed since he’d last seen her. Fangs had gotten engaged, moved in with Kevin Keller into a nice house on the Northside and after he worked his way to a big promotion at the garage, Sweet Pea followed his friend across the tracks, the rift between the two sides long forgotten and he was glad to be swapping his small apartment for a two bed house. Even if it did feel lonely with having no one to fill that void in his life despite the many dates Toni and Fangs had continued to set him up on.

And just when he’d given up all hope and accepted the fact that maybe a relationship just wasn’t for him, she showed up on his doorstep with a shy smile and a nervous look in her eyes.

It never failed to amaze Sweet Pea that just the mere sight of her was enough to get his heart racing and his head spinning, even after all these years. He smiled into her hair as she wrapped her arms around his waist, forgetting every way he’d told himself he didn’t need her. Who had he been trying to kid? He practically craved her existence even if he had told his friends he didn’t care where she was anymore.

He missed the warmth of her body instantly as she pulled back a little, hands still lingering on his hips as she whispered his name and Sweet Pea wished he could play that sound on repeat. He relished in the way their bodies were only inches apart as he listened when she explained that Jughead had given her his address when she ran into him at Pops, laughing when she asked if he minded.

As she continued to speak he felt his eyes reluctantly trailing to her hands that still remained on both his sides, knowing that he was subconsciously looking for a ring. But when he saw all her fingers were bare he couldn’t help but grin.

She hadn’t gotten married.

Or if she had, she wasn’t any longer and Sweet Pea had an overwhelming urge to invite her in and finally confess everything he felt when he was caught off guard.

Sweet Pea felt like the word ‘Mommy’ floated through the air and stabbed him in the chest. His eyes flicked up to hers, a mixture of hurt, anger and betrayal as the little boy ran to her and wrapped his arms around her leg. Sweet Pea watched as she picked him up with easy, balancing on him on her hip. He was so shocked he barely heard her introduce them, too mesmerised by the way the young child clung onto her, shyly heading his face in her neck before brushing his dark hair out of his eyes, her eyes, and staring at Sweet Pea with a fierce curiosity.

It was only when she emphasised her sons age again that something clicked within Sweet Pea.

The boy she held in her arms was three years old. Meaning she had found out she was pregnant around four years ago.

But four years ago Sweet Pea had walked into a surprise party thrown by his best friend to find her waiting for him.

Four years ago they had done something they shouldn’t in the back of his car in a rainy airport car park.

He found himself staring between the two, throat going dry but all it took was one nod from her to know the truth.

The boy wasn’t just hers.

He was Sweet Pea’s too.

After that it was as if Sweet Pea’s body transitioned into autopilot, his mind working on over drive. Without a single word he moved aside to let her in, remaining silent as he watched her lay the boy on the couch, soothing him to sleep before joining him in the kitchen.

He listened as an explanation flowed from her in a hurried rush. She confirmed that Y/S/N was his, that she’d found out she was pregnant 2 months after leaving Riverdale, broke off her engagement straight away and in a dazed haze decided to stay away. He continued to say nothing as she apologised for only now coming to her senses, confessing that she’d realised her son needed his father and that Sweet Pea deserved to know the truth.

“Stay.”

Sweet Pea didn’t think it through before the word fell from his lips but he knew he meant it with every fibre within his body, he needed her to stay this time, he wasn’t about to just simply let her leave again.

She replied with a laugh, a mixture of confusion and shock as she told him that he should be angry at her, hate her even instead of forgiving her too quickly and now it was his turn to laugh.

“That’s the thing Y/N-“ He whispered, his fingertips dancing across her cheek, smiling when she nuzzled her face into his hand. “I could never hate you, I love you too much for that.”

She grinned at his confession, tears in her eyes over the words that had never been uttered between them. She revealed she felt the same, she’d always felt the same, and if he wanted them to stay then she’d stay.

In that moment, Sweet Pea swore he’d never been happier and he couldn’t help but pull her closer, squeezing at her hips as their lips met in sweet moment.

And that’s when it hit Sweet Pea, an overwhelming amount of hope that always seemed to roll into town the same time she did.

Hope that this was it, hope that he’d finally get everything he’d ever wanted.

Hope that they could finally be together.

At thirty years old Sweet Pea couldn’t wish for more, he had everything he wanted.

A son. A bright and bubbly six year old boy who loved pancakes for breakfast and playing football for hours on the weekend. His features mirrored his Dad’s more and more everyday and Sweet Pea prayed he’d stop growing up so fast, desperate for his son to keep his childhood innocence a little bit longer.

A wife. It hadn’t taken him long to propose, in fact he’d got down on one knee three months after she moved in. They married less than a year later, Fangs as best man, Toni as a bridesmaid, neither of them willing to waste anymore time than they already had.

And just when Sweet Pea thought his heart couldn’t grow anymore Y/N threw in another surprise.

He came home from work that day to find a gift box with his name scribbled on top sitting on the kitchen table. His curiosity got the better of him as he shrugged off his jacket and rushed straight to it. His fingers grazed the lid as he thought of the date. It wasn’t an anniversary or a birthday, and it certainly wasn’t Valentine’s Day or Christmas yet she’d gotten him something.

“Open it then.” He turned to see her staring at him from the stairs, a grin instantly forming on his face at the sight of her and if wasn’t for the box and his need to know what was inside he would have reached for her instead.

When he eventually lifted the lid off and peered in he heart began to hammer in his chest, the beating so loud it was all he could hear. His throat was instantly dry, his hands shaking as he picked up the test to see two clear blue lines.

“Is this- are you?” He stammered over his words, tongue heavy in his mouth as he struggled to form a sentence. “I’m gonna be a Dad again?”

She nodded, laughing at his reaction as he raced towards her, a large hand splaying across her stomach as if he could feel the baby inside.

He could have sworn he stopped breathing when she looked up at him and smiled, that same smile she’d given him at five years old when she’d found him alone in a corner of class room. The same smile that had Sweet Pea hooked from day one, the smile that gave him hope even in his darkest of days and he couldn’t stop the tears that trailed down his cheeks.

“I love you.”

Sweet Pea Masterlist

Serendipity Taglist: @madaboutlili @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e @devineanguish

Notes: Well done to @madaboutlili for guessing what Pea saw haha!

#riverdale #riverdale edit #riverdale sweet pea #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale series #riverdale one shot #riverdale imagine #sweet pea #sweet pea edit #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea fanfiction #sweet pea series #sweet pea one shot #sweet pea imagine

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bellamygateoldblog · 4 years

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The 100 7x01: Discussion

My general takeaway from the episode can be summarised like this: Echo is spectacular. (I might’ve said “oh my god look at her!!!!!” and “ugh she is just The Best” too many times to count).

This is long-ish because I really just wanted to consolidate my thoughts in one place. Bitch it’s me i got a lot to say!!!!!

The Good Parts

— The farmhouse setting. While it’s existence is strange and “a sore thumb” and worked to further push Sanctum being the abomination born of clumsily mixing genres and time periods in terms of construction/costuming, making everything appear disconnected and obnoxious, it was still a nice change. It made me feel warmer and more comfortable as a ‘modern’ viewer. It’s a breath of fresh air from the constant dark element: dilapidated post-apoc buildings falling from their foundation, endless woods, and equally cold-feeling labs and skeleton dungeons.

— Echo. This was a damn good episode for Echo and every second reminded me of why she’s my favourite. She’s a badass. I always love to see her falling naturally into leadership of her little ragtag groups who accept it wholeheartedly. From the “testing a theory” moment where she went ‘when Gabriel doesn’t speak >>>’, to right at the end when she killed the solider about to “eliminate” Hope (hesitation is death...oh no he can’t hear us he’s got airpods in oh my god). It was Echo that got them through the whole sequence with the anomaly, Echo who figured shit out, Echo who quickly judged the situations and formed plans to overcome the obstacles. In other words: she did THAT.

Favourite scene: Echo coming face-to-face with the projection of her own insecurities in the form of Roan and Echo 1.0, and physically overcoming them (shooting them down), along with the trauma and pain that they both represent. The perserverence and getting the job done despite the emotional torture felt like a callback to the Psychosis episode of 6x02 when she was clever enough to sedate herself to silence the voices in her head. I also think the dialogue chosen was also foreshadowing that she would become a leader by the finale (commander?) and i love to see it!

— Clarke and Madi’s conversation. Oh Clarke, you just keep reinforcing and validating my perceptions of who you are as a person over and over again lol. In all her self-importance failing to remember that Madi, in fact, had and was raised by her biological parents for half of her life (and the new knowledge that she spent six years telling her little mind tales from the book of her life whilst apparently never taking the time to learn about Madi’s or acknowledge/honour her birth parents in any way) is “yeah that’s about right” to me. Sure you could say she was still reeling from the events of six and her death-almost death-almost death again. But I’ve always had this Thing about the relationship between Clarke and Madi. And i’ve seen some of the lighthearted humourous reception that scene got from fandom, “#where do you think the child CAME from?!” which only served to remind me of my own impression that Clarke views Madi as wholely ‘hers’, as if Madi’s existence was tied to Clarke, but i might elaborate in a seperate post.

This scene was a lovely display of self-awareness I’ve rarely seen on Clarke (never even got it when she electrocuted said child two seasons ago- however that absense of apology and acknowledgement of the sheer wrongness of that action also fits very nicely with my view of her lmao, still though, a weird choice for your ‘heroine’).

— Clarke’s “feels like a different world.” Felt romantically-coded. I think Gaia/Clarke might be the most convinient relationship to transform into romance at this point. However I’m sincerely hoping this road they could go down won’t reduce Gaia to a crutch/accessory for Clarke, and that she doesn’t become merely a love interest. I’ve seen talk already of Gaia being “Clarke’s happiness” etc.. which is already confirming my worst fears. Sigh.

This moment very much felt like found closure and the turning of a page. But i will say it was a very sharp turn from the three seasons of shoehorned-in mentions of Lexa, and last season’s emphasis on Clarke’s very-much intact emotional response to her memory- “it’s why you cry when you think about Lexa”- to her looking at an image of Lexa’s memory of her, reminicing but having no emotional response to it, and brushing it off while sharing a soft look with Gaia (and this is a few days since s6? I don’t know how this timeline is working but Tbh it’s not like these writers ever concerned themselves with ‘realistic time frames’ anyway lol). Yep, Jason’s seasons are individual “movies,” alright.

Other *nodding approvingly* moments

— Raven’s subtle “elevator eyes” on Clarke when she started giving her orders again. I see you, Miss Reyes, and I appreciate you.

— Raven + the foot in her mouth and the cute way she catches herself both times. I just love watching characters fail at existing LOL. She was feeling more human than stereotype or plot device this episode.

— "Mommy and Auntie O” and the implication that Hope is a child inside an aged-up body.

— This quote: “I know what it’s like to lose your family 100 years ago and yesterday at the same time.” It’s so literal but I like it a lot.

— Clarke being ‘leader’ again is, as usual, solely a matter of convinient (and familial/love) circumstances and it felt very true.

The Rest

— The Eligius Situation. So Clarke and her inner circle conquer and live in a nice home, and we’re specifically told Clarke takes the master suite (and the dog), and I was like ‘fair enough’ but then she orders prison labour. She tells them to build her a compound that they won’t actually get to be apart of, and to live in tents while they do so. They aren’t getting anything out of this (before they resist and set their own terms). This is slavery. Also, those aren’t her people to boss around, look down on, and use accordingly for her own gain (in fact they barely know her or why she’s gone from being that one unloyal woman who executed their men and got herself captured like an idiot, then couldn’t make up her mind about which side she wanted to kill- to one in the uppermost position of authority...like...they woke up yesterday) But, then again, that never stopped her.

— Too much and not enough at the same time. The pacing of the episode in general was awful. Too much happening in quick succession, no breathing room, too many factions (no, actually Raven, where is ALIE when you need her? smh). I blink, I miss an entire scene and a character is now beating someone else up. Amazingly, i was still bored 90% of the time.

— The Children of Gabriel calling themselves “The Children of Gabriel.” It was always goofy, even more so when a grown man is saying it.

— Murphy + his self loathing over Abby’s death. Did I miss the part where she was ever good to him? One of their final moments together was of her telling him he deserved to die over Clarke after she spent the entire series treating him like he was inferior and disposable. uhhhhhhhhhh.

— The picnic scene. Jackson’s sudden violent outburst was unearned (it wasn’t even set up???), and also disrespectful. Wrong place, wrong time, bro. He’s grieving? Okay. But when Abby’s daughter is sitting right in front of you, making this about you, ruining a perfectly good toast in her honour with your uncomfortable accusations loses you points you never even had to begin with. And this is a ‘me’ thing but I can’t be bothered to be sympathetic when this is about Abby Griffin.

Also, I have to say it. Eliza’s acting took me out of the scene every time I looked at Clarke. I couldn’t for the life of me work out what those expressions were supposed to be.

— Russell, his manpain, and a fury over the consiquences of his own actions that could rival the grounders (”my brother died in your ring of fire [while he was trying to murder you all]” hmm sounds like a you problem). But the worst part is, I simply couldn’t tell where he stood or what he was feeling. He’s so one-dimensional. He’s an evil man (so much for ”grey morality”).

— Clarke + Jordan. A small point to make but all Clarke has done since Marper made her ‘Godmother’ of their son has blame him for everything bad happening lol. Marper loses a lot of my respect as time goes on for that choice. As much as I dislike Jordan’s presence in the show, still not a great pattern to have noticed.

— Raven seeking approval from Clarke (specifically) for the Prime idea was...weird and very bad. When has Raven ever cared for Clarke’s validation, especially in the last few seasons?

Was also taken aback by how Indra and Miller are both suddenly so protective of Clarke, like i can make sense of the Indra part even though it relies on me making things up that aren’t supported by what’s on screen, but Miller?

— (Bonus moment that was bad for me, but not for the same reason it was for the rest of you: the scene of Hope finding the message in her arm. When she was removing the blood-soaked bandage I freaked out because I thought she was peeling her skin off. You’re welcome for that visual.)

The Mixed/No Feelings

— Clarke’s full-dark-no-stars. How many times have they told me now she’s “the head”? LMAO.

I have no actual formed opinion on it. Only disjointed thoughts. Like i might’ve just gone “good for her” if Clarke wasn’t the person she is, with the history she has.

I appreciate the idea, to have her spend the whole episode declaring she is, in fact, completely fine, to end it having her explode with the repressed pain.

I mean...i realise the cognition behind it, but it’s eye-roll inducing at this point. This- kicking Russell to death (giving him exactly what he wanted and set out to provoke), and burning down a palace she promised to keep intact, once again going against the group to do her own Thing that they all ultimately have the suffer the consiquences of and help clean up- is just a repeat of past patterns, and Monty’s “do better” mantra that she desperately clung to like she owned it last season is nowhere in sight.

(Also, I can’t be the only one who spotted her physically smacking that Sanctum girl as she walked onto the balcony? Not cool. Wasn’t cool when Murphy acted like a dick to one of them either this episode.)

The rushed switch did a number on me, too, like Jackson’s did. Literally five minutes before she was preaching about a peaceful life for Madi that doesn’t take revenge (I think I know what they were going for with that but it just left me feeling confused and frustrated).

Furthermore, I’ve seen talk that this was her “burning down of a symbol of oppression”, something she experienced first hand (not so unlike Blodreina and the bunker she desperately wanted to escape and deliver her people from), but there was no noble, calculated intention there. She burned the palace accidentally in her rage because she was in pain and disorientated. The moral stuff was just an after effect.

The speech was also very ‘Clarke’. Feeling entitled to and making decisions on who lives and dies right after declaring this wasn’t their kill to make. She wasn’t the only person hurt by the Primes (but we’ve also been given no reason to care about any of the other victims- the manipulated, enslaved population have been turned into a joke and a punching bag for the main characters which...isn’t great either). And the castle could’ve been used to shelter some of the “too many people” we had problems with through the episode (or used to harvest resources from). It really comes down to if i think the situation justifies the reaction and if i hold her wholely responsible...and this is the part where i reiterate that i have no intact opinion and don’t actually care to have one either ha.

#the 100 s7 #7x01 discussion #the 100 7x01

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jamiedc-they-them · 4 years

Text

Who you were VS Who you are (Platonic)

IMAGINE: You had to find out where you came from. You had to know. No matter how much it hurt. Or what it cost. Your friends wouldn’t let that happen though. They wouldn’t lose you to your desire for answers.

You leant against the tree, watching your sister in her training. Watching her be fully at peace with herself and her surroundings. You didn’t want to have to do this. To interrupt her meditation with your own burning issue that never left you alone. You knew it wasn’t fair on her. On anyone, really.

“You can come to me for anything, (y/n).” She assured you when you had both started you friendship. She’d always made sure to make time to help you with your issues. No matter how silly you deemed them. She always treated them like top priority.

She felt your presence behind her. She felt the slight conflict brewing within you. Did it disturb her? A little, she’d never admit it though. Knowing that it would shake your confidence. She appreciated that waited until she had finished her training. Instead of just interrupting like some people had done. She knew they didn’t mean to. But she liked that you and the other members of your family gave her the time she needed to fully feel at peace before she’d try and help you guys out in any way she could.

She opened her eyes, dong a flip to land on the ground with some skill. She grew a small smile as she felt your energy lift a little at her move. Happy that she had somewhat helped without even trying.

She turned to you. Finally, ready to help you in any way that she could.

“Hi…” She frowned at your nervous tone. She approached you, kneeling down to your level, looking at you with an empathetic and calm gaze. One that she hoped would help you find the confidence to ask the question you had come to ask her. She clocked the way you avoided eye contact every so often. Looking off the forest, playing with your hands.

You met her gaze, gulping slightly as you tried to find that courage. Finally, you took a calming breath and decided to just get it out there, “Can you help me find my parents?” Her eyes widened at the bluntness of the question. She, internally, appreciated that you didn’t try and word it any differently and sell it as something else. You just said what you wanted.

Part of her was also terrified of this moment. She never wanted to visit this moment. She knew what it could do to you. She didn’t want to see you go through that pain that it could bring you. Her eyes showed that slight fear. Your eyes showed it back as you awaited her answer.

“I – Are you sure. You might not like what you –”

“Rey.” Your desperation in your tone made her stop, “You know how my broken mind words. Whatever the truth it. It can’t be any worse than what this thing’s cooked up.” You pointed to your mind. The comment didn’t sit well with her. She decided not to comment on it, for both of your sakes.

“I’m just saying. You don’t need a name to be someone.” Her words didn’t have the effect you wanted on you. It didn’t have the effect she wanted at all. It had the opposite.

“You found out you were. Only seems fair that I get a shot at it too. Can’t be any worse, can it?” She couldn’t help but be a little hurt by your words. It wasn’t the way you said them, it was just what you said. The way you blew passed her advice.

The others had agreed instantly, they boarded the falcon. Placing themselves behind you both. Rey looked at you, giving you a nod. They were ready.

You started the engines of the falcon. Pushing the lever up, and slowly lifted you guys up. Before flicking the switch, you entered lightspeed.

To you, it felt selfish. Forcing them to come along and help you on a desperate search that could either get you guys killed or end up getting you now where. They were quick to assure you that it didn’t matter where it led. They’d support you. Because, that was what family did.

You and Poe had stayed in the cockpit. Rey, Finn and Rose were playing on the holo chess table. She was never very good at it. But it was a way to pass the time as you travelled to your destination. Rey had been forced to cross a line she didn’t want to. She had to enter your mind, the deepest and darkest part that you kept hidden. She went through the memories there, a man had always appeared. One who had left you at the age you had met Rey at originally. She had then taken a moment to try and find his signature. It took a lot of her energy. But she pushed and pushed. You had started to become worried for her. But she only kept going. She couldn’t let you down.

She’d found his signature. It was faint, but there. He was a while away from you all. He was your only hope of finding anything to do with your parents.

She’d hoped that you didn’t end up with a shock like she had. Learning that she was the descendant of the monster they were hunting. The one who had started all this. It was fitting, though. For his lineage to put an end to his reign. For the bloodline of the one who started the turmoil to be the one to end it.

Poe had seen you tense figure as you checked the ship absentmindedly. He knew that you needed some space. Getting up, he placed a hand on your shoulder to show his support before he walked to join the others.

You slumped down in your chair. It was nice to have the place to yourself as you arrived. You didn’t even know the man you were looking for. Yet he had something to do with your past. You didn’t know what, you were terrified as to what it was.

You accepted Rey when she confided in you about her identity. You were sure she’d do the same. Still, there was always that voice in the back of your mind that told you they wouldn’t. Rey had the same voice in her head.

You knew that the voice was wrong. That the doubt was wrong to have. It didn’t matter though. It was there. That was it. That was the truth. Now you just had to find the rest of the truth. You needed to. You needed the closure. You needed to know.

You arrived at your location. The place Rey had tracked him too. The place was on the edges of the unknown places in the galaxy. You’d brought your friends out so far for this. That, and your want to find the truth kept you going. Kept that doubts at bay.

Kept the bad feeling you were having about the journey and what awaited you at bay, kept it locked away.

It still ate away at you as you led the others through the planet. It was pretty. Very pretty. Trees with circular and odd shapes surrounded you. It felt like something out of a dream. Something that you mind would create for you to play in when it was having one of its good days. The feeling seemed to dissipate as others all looked around it in slight awe as well. Rey followed her friends in their actions. Before her eyes settled on you as you stretched our arms out and spun yourself around. Embracing the odd life that seemed to brim here.

A variation of fireflies surrounded you. Dancing around you. You let out a laugh as they did so. Rey smiled, happy that you were happy. You had been having a lot of bad days recently. So, for once, seeing you at peace made her feel like she was as well. For a small amount of time, your doubt had subsided. And you were filled with pure joy. She hoped that this voyage would bring you more of that feeling.

In her mind, even then, she knew that it was unlikely that that would be the end result. Still, she hoped.

“(y/n)” Finn called your attention to him. Turning to him, you saw a cave entrance. They all waited as you approached it. Holding your hand out behind you, Poe gave you a flashlight. You turned it on. It was immediately dwarfed by Rey’s sabre. She gave you a teasing smile. You rolled your eyes but returned it with a shake of you head.

Rey was right beside you as you both led your friends. Her sabre was the brightest, but you still kept your own flashlight out. Everyone was now using their own version of a light source. Scouring the walls. Along them, you saw patterns. Drawings of people.

You weren’t force sensitive like Rey. Yet you still found yourself being drawn towards one of the drawings. You heard it calling out to you. Your hand ran over the image. That being of a young child being held back as a ship flew away. You heard cries of a young female, “Come back!” She screamed. The other figure holding her back.

You flinched away from the drawing. Your senses coming back to you in an instant. Your breath was uneven. Your eyes wide. You looked around, seeing your friends were gone.

Despite where you stayed in your younger years before you met Rey. You’d always hated the dark. The feeling of the unknown it gave you. The feeling that it isolated you. That it was influencing you in some way.

Rey had that literally, with the dark side of the force. She had reminded you that, despite not being force sensitive, you still had a pull to it. It was all to do with emotions. You certainly had a lot of them buzzing around you. Most negative. You couldn’t help that. But, still, it scared you.

Like right now, you were alone. On a planet you did not know. Now knowing if your friends where even still alive anymore, or if they’d gotten lost or hurt. Or –

You’d bumped into someone. That person quickly caught you and held you shoulders. Looking up, you saw it was Rose. She hugged you, you were quick to return it.

“Oh, thank god. Guys, I found (him/her)!” She called out. The others came towards her voice. They all let out a sigh of relief when they saw you alive and well.

“What happened?” Rey asked, seeing your disturbed look. You didn’t get the chance to give your version of the answer.

“(He/She) had a vision. Found one of the carvings in the wall.” You all turned to the man who had spoken. He was old, in his last few years. He stepped out the dark. Your friends had all taken a step forward, but Rey was next to you. All eyes filled with mistrust. All prepared to reach for their retrospective weapons if needed. Rey was still holding her sabre. One the man’s eyes fell upon.

His lips turned upwards. Rey moved her finger towards the button that would start a seemingly inevitable conflict.

“How about that bracelet there? I’ll tell you all you want to know about you, kid.” His offer was answered before they could warn you about it. To tell you not to give into it. Not to go with his deal. To find another way of finding the information.

Rey turned to you to try it, only to see you pulling off your bracelet that you had carried since you were ten. The hurt she felt earlier multiplied by the fact that you were willing to give away an item that meant so much to you both for even a slither of information.

You didn’t even look to them; you only kept your eyes on the man. You held out the bracelet. Taking it, he rolled it around before looking back at you.

“They gave you to me to take you somewhere else. I was meant to meet them at a ship to leave. Thing was, they weren’t there. Never saw them again that day.” Your story told you one thing. They were still on Jakku.

“Who leaves a child defenceless on a place like Jakku?” Rey spat as you started to leave. Her anger and distaste for the man. He made sure to keep the bracelet in view as she spun it, moving closer to her. The two having a tense stare off. You were still walking away, her friends stayed with her.

“(He/She) found you, didn’t (he/she)?” He asked, voice holding the same amount of hatred and distrust. He eyed her up and down to show that he wasn’t afraid.

“Go find you (brother/sister) and help (him/her). You got what you wanted.” Begrudgingly, she did. Even if she made a note in her mind of the location. Remembering to come back here after all was said and done.

The others may have watched you sacrifice of bit of who you are to find a part about who you were. But she’d be damned if she let you lose that part.

She was going to get that bracelet back.

Finn sat with you in the cockpit this time. Watching you as had a face of pure concentration. He saw beneath that look. Seeing a sense of excitement. A sense that this would magically heal the wound of abandonment. That this would make you whole once again.

He didn’t want to be the one to tell you that the unlikeliness of that was slowly mounting. Becoming more and more prevalent. Harder and harder to ignore.

“What do you want to find down there?” He asked, you didn’t pause your actions. In fact, if anything, you increased your movement. Seemingly using the movement to distract you from having to answer fully.

“My parents. Find why they left me. Maybe even take them back with us, if we’re lucky.” Finn understood to want to find where you came from. He did, truly. He just knew the dangers that came with it as well.

When you started clearing the last remnants of the First Order, Finn was slowly losing himself. Especially in the places that held the children. Sure, that had to do part with the trauma. The PTSD attacking him whenever he set foot in those places. Seeing those helpless children and setting them free.

You and the others had seen as he started becoming more and more hellbent on finding where he came from. Trying to find files on him. Or, on his parents. Anything. He’d go for anything. Any whisper, any small hint that would push him forward.

So, he understood. But he also knew what could happen to you if they didn’t help tame this side to you.

He looked out the door, knowing that the others were probably talking about the same thing he was thinking. And thinking of ways to help you. He had pitched a few ideas. But he knew they were looking at other options to help you should all this go sideways. Should all this go wrong.

How to help pick up the pieces should they fall apart further than they already had.

You stood at the ramp, Rey by your side with the others behind you. You stared at the ramp, but you already knew what awaited you. The endless hell of sand in a lawless place. Maybe there were some areas that weren’t as bad. You didn’t know those places. You just knew this one. The one where you grew up. The one where you started on this journey.

The one where you were (hopefully, in your head) find some answers to help bring it to an end.

“You ready?” Your elder sister asked, she felt the nerves as well. Both from her and from you. She didn’t exactly love being back here either. But, if it would help you, she’d do it.

They were here after all.

You nodded, but still didn’t take your eyes off of the ramp. Your mouth slightly parted.

“Hey.” She waited until you turned to her. She gave you an assuring smile, “You’ve got this.” You nodded, even if you didn’t fully believe them, they had helped a little.

Your hand hit the button, slowly the ramp lowered.

There it was. Home. It was a morbid homecoming. Even without the present circumstances and the countless amount of possibilities that your journey could end. It was still a morbid homecoming. Rey Skywalker, better known as Rey from Jakku. And her (brother/sister)/best friend, (y/n) of Jakku. Coming home for one last hoorah.

You were the first to step out. The place was silent. Back when you lived here, you liked it. No, you adored the silence. Now? Now it was off putting. You hated the silence. So, used to noise around you. Be that from war or from the base in general.

You envied Rey’s ability to find some sort of peace with meditation. To have a moment where everything felt controllable. That she could deal with it all. That it wasn’t always closing in on her.

Maybe it was an act. Maybe she had those feelings. Maybe she did have moments where she broke. Where everything seemed too much. And, yet, despite those moments, she still made time for you. She still helped you.

You kept your thoughts silent as you walked through your old home planet. Your friends behind you in their own conversation. They kept looking at you every so often. Instead of the reason just being as you were at the front. It was because you were subject of their conversations.

Rey looked to Finn, he nodded at her in confirmation that he too felt your emotions becoming more and more cynical. Despite the slight burst that occurred at the news. They could both feel that you were ripping yourself about something.

It was mix of dread and negative questions that were pilling and pilling. They’d all been there before when the explosion had occurred. When it all became too much in a physical sense. When you broke even further. When you finally tried something. Whether that was push them away, get in a fight. Or… Or something.

That was why Rey didn’t want you to do this. She knew what it could lead to. How it could be the thing that pushed you over the edge fully. That was why it all leading back to Jakku made her anger intensify.

She didn’t want to have to go through the pain of nearly losing you again.

You heard laughter, you crouched down. Moving to a piece of wreckage to use as cover. The others ran to your position. You all looked, seeing one man pissing on something. The other drinking some water. He still laughed at something his friend said.

“Oh….” Rose’s voice was soft, but it trailed off. You moved to her, between her and Poe. You looked over their part of the cover. You finally saw what caused her words. Ones that were filled with empathy.

It was two metal pieces stuck together to form a kind of cross. Barely held together by rope. And the man was pissing on it. Like it was nothing.

It wasn’t nothing, you knew what it was. You knew who was in there. They all did.

You were over the cover the next moment. Ignoring your friends as you pulled out your blaster.

The one with the bottle dropped it, letting out a curse as he reached for his own blaster. His hand slipped over the it. His hand had slipped as there was now a blaster shot in his head. The other turned, he got one in the stomach and one in the chest. He was still alive. His piss now staining his trousers and the sand.

You moved over to him, rage fuelling you. You almost reached him, when Rey was in front of you, arm raised to stop you. She tried to send some calming thoughts and emotions through the force. Try and calm you that way.

“Get out of my head, Rey…” Your voice was low. Dangerously low. She was unnerved that she heard it from you. The way it was more a growl and so unlike you.

In that moment, you were more terrifying to her than any Sith or even Palpatine was. Or a night of Ren. Or anything in the moment.

She was the only thing stopping you from fully losing yourself.

“You don’t have to do this –”

“He was pissing on them, Rey! Pissing on them like they were nothing!” Your rage could be understood. She could see your perspective. She could even understand you rage. But she had to get you out of the spiral. She couldn’t let you fully lose yourself in this moment like she had when she and Kylo were fighting on the Death Star. She lost herself then. She knew how terrified she was of herself then.

She had to stop you before you reached that point.

“You don’t want to be like them –” She was cut off by your hollow laugh, “Be like them? I don’t know who they were! And now I never will!”

“They left you, just like mine –”

“To protect you! They told you that they loved you before they did it! Mine dumped with… Whatever his name was. And left me! But they stayed on this damn planet! They didn’t even try to find me!” You were full on crying at this point. Full on breaking down. Rey’s own vision had filled with tears as your words gained more and more in volume. More desperation for her to understand.

She did. She absolutely did. That was what made her do her next move. One she’d never wanted to do.

“It’s alright, it’s just me. It’s just me.” You heard her voice in your head. Your eyes displaying hurt and loathing at the action. Her eyes showed an apology. But she kept going.

“I know you won’t believe me. But I understand that pain. I was still left. For whatever reason. I was still abandoned. They had a reason; they faced their death with no questions. But I was still left. That hurt is still there.

You don’t’ deserve it. Neither of us do. Not us both, and Finn. No one deserves that. Don’t go this way though. Don’t become them –”

“How? How do I do that?” Your voice in reply was desperate. Both calmer than before.

“You don’t give yourself to the dark like they did. You don’t become them by being the bad guy. You do that by fighting against the dark with the light that’s inside of you. You win by being you.” Her words had an effect on you. This time, the one she wanted. She knew she’d gotten through to you now.

You were in her arms the next moment. Her own hurt with her parents allowing her to let out some of her own pain as well.

You and Rey had both left the company of your friends to go to your old home. Rose looked to the grave that was poorly put together. Reaching into her bag, she found what she wanted. She went to the grave, removing the wires, she brought out a wielding mask. And went to work on it.

“Should we go check on them, or?”

“No, they’ll be fine. They need this.” Poe nodded at Finn’s answer. The man sensed that you both had felt more peaceful after the confrontation. How you both seemed to be calmer now that you had let it out.

You ran your hand down the markings on the wall with a kind of fond look. A reminder of how, not too long ago, you add to it numbly.

Now the wait was over. Your family had arrived. Just not in the way you had both expected. Rey approached you from behind, holding your old doll in front of your face. You laughed as you looked at it. Rey let out her own one. This one filled with fondness of memories. You took the doll, running your had over it. Remembering how you both used to re-enact the fighting from the wars that caused all this. That caused the home you lived in.

“You want to take it?” You nodded at her answer. Placing it in your bag. You looked one more time at the markings. Rey repeated your earlier action. Both of you having a moment of silence to fully be ready to let the place go. Maybe even hold the new pair of siblings who wanted a better life for themselves.

“HELP!” The cry gained your attention. You were both out the door and up the ramp that started this whole adventure. The ramp that you both ran up and found BB on the other side of. This time, the ramp held a girl being dragged away. You both looked at her with the same expression at the monsters taking her away.

You ran down, you fired your blaster at one. Rey force pushed another. A third swung at you, you ducked out the way and connected your fist with his face. Rey lit her sabre and scared another off. You let your one go, running off into the distance. Hopefully not going to do that again.

You turned to the girl, kneeling down to her height. Eyes hopefully communicating that you weren’t a threat. Ones that held empathy and calmness. She looked at you with panic eyes. Moving them to your sister for a moment, before back to you. She took calming breaths. You both only waited with patience as she slowly gathered herself. Somewhat putting the unknown amount of broken pieces together. To make them hold together for a little longer.

She had gotten herself to a place where she nodded. Looking at you with less fearful, but still not completely trusting eyes. Slowly, you reached out a hand. She looked at it, going over the possibilities in her mind. Before deciding to take it. You rose up, brining her with you. You noticed that you were both pretty much the same height.

“I’m (y/n), over there is Rey. We’re from the resistance.” Your voice was calm. The girl’s eyes widened at the words.

“(y/n) from Jakku and Rey Skywalker?!” You bit your lip at your mention, but still nodded. Not even knowing that you included in the apparent legends that you both too once thought were only myths.

She embraced you. You stumbled a little but found your footing and returned the gesture. Letting her have this moment of peace. This moment of what was probably just sheer terror. You didn’t know her story. How long she’d been here. If she was alone. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was this moment.

This moment where the light had won.

“Are you alone?” She nodded, looking at the floor sadly. You cupped her face, turning her to you. You gave her a soft smile, “We have some friends. And we have a place. It’s off planet. But… We could take you there. Or, we can help you set up here.”

She thought about it, you only kept your eyes on her. Noticing more of her features, her long blonde hair held dirt in it. Her eyes had bags underneath. Clothes having tears in certain places. She looked like a mess.

She reminded you both of how you started. In rags, now heroes in the eyes of people.

“Go with you.”

She had; the others had accepted her with ease. A new member and new friend. The journey back took a while. So, you all had a chance to fully meet her. Help her realise she was safe now.

You knew you could only do so much. That the words would do so much. Actions spoke louder than words. You knew the therapist would get a new client. Not that you were sure they’d mind. It was their job after all. Plus, they’d told you when you first went that seeing clients make any type of progress made their own day better. So…

Rey closed her eyes, feeling the world around her. The life, the death. The light and the dark. And the balance that sat in between of it. The peace of it helped her start to float. Maybe she wasn’t wrong. Maybe the force really did help make things float. Or, in this case, person.

She felt your presence. This one more at ease. It took a little more time with your more positive emotions. But she still felt you leaning against the same tree. Waiting for her once again.

She did the same flip as she landed, feeling your mood increase. Again, turning to you and kneeling down to your height. This time, though, you both held smiles.

“How’d therapy go?”

“Well. Gave me a breathing exercise to try.” Rey nodded, making a note to ask them about it.

“Can I ask you a question?” She nodded, gaze ready for whatever you wanted to ask her, “You said all that about names. But made yourself a Skywalker. Why?”

“I was a Palpatine. That name isn’t good for anyone. Besides, he didn’t raise me. He tried to kill me. The Skywalker’s helped us. Taught us for as long as they could. Still can. If anyone asks who were my parents. I’d say them in a heartbeat.”

She held out your bracelet. You looked at her, she nodded with enthusiasm. Wanting you reclaim what you rightfully yours.

“You can be who ever you want to be. Names mean nothing, blood means nothing. It’s all up to you.”

You started to live by that code after that day.

#rey #rey x reader #platonic reader #star wars x reader #rey imagine #rey skywalker imagine #rey skywalker x reader #star wars imagine

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chicagocityofclans · 3 years

Photo

Katherine “Kate” Brooks → Danielle Panabaker → Human

→ Basic Information

Age: 31

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Birthday: September 29th

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Religion: Agnostic (Lapsed Protestant)

→ Her Personality Kate Brooks is a thorough woman. She loves to double and triple check her records and takes great care with the bodies she handles. Her compassionate and caring side comes out when she’s working, Kate truly cares about how these people are finally laid to rest and what she can do to help families get closure. As somewhat of a black sheep, Kate takes pride in her job and that she found a job she loved despite her family’s doubt of her.

Though she is the baby of the family, Kate tends to shy away from the spotlight. A result of having two attention seekers for siblings. She finds life is easier when you step away from drama and let your work speak for you. Though she can be socially awkward and trip over her words during presentations, she is strong enough to speak her opinions. She can seem uptight upon initial meetings, but slowly shows the geeky and wondrous side of herself. Despite loving science and the medical field, Kate is open to the world of things she doesn’t know and becomes giddy about it. She got into science to discover the magic of the world and discover the secrets it holds.

→ Her Personal Facts

Occupation: Medical Examiner for Chicago Police Department

Scars: Long cut on her forearm from a car accident in college

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Serial the podcast and Salt Water Taffy

Two Dislikes: Liquid Cheese and Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Two Fears: A fast, incurable illness and Bees (allergy)

Two Hobbies: Mineralogy and Taking recreation photos at famous Chicago movie filming sites

Three Positive Traits: Open Minded, Logical, Excited

Three Negative Traits: Shy, Transparent, Aloof

→ Her Connections

Parent Names:

Richard Brooks (Father): Kate was never really close to her father. She was his repentance to her mother and everyone in the family knew it. He does give very generous Christmas presents however, as a thank you for not dragging up trouble.

Georgette Brooks (Mother): Georgette never quite knew how to deal with Kate. She was the apology gift to Georgette, which brought up anger and resentment over her father cheating. Kate was handed off to the nanny while her mother went about her business.

Sibling Names:

James Brooks (Brother): Kate absolutely can’t stand her brother. He’s dramatic and self involved and a toxic person in general. She moved away from the East Coast, after he ruined her previous relationship by dating and destroying her boyfriend’s older brother. He’s 7 years older than her, yet acts like the baby of the family. Kate hasn’t told James where she moved, and he’s never asked.

Ingrid King nee Brooks (Sister): Ingrid has always been more of a distant relative, rather than a close sister. Kate is about 10 years younger than her sister and they didn’t really grow up with each other. Ingrid is nice enough, but Kate doesn’t feel really close to her.

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Ezra Adams (Ex-Boyfriend): Ezra broke up with her after a particularly bad break up between James and Ezra’s older brother. He claimed that his family needed a clean break so he could heal. Kate had just received a job offer in Chicago and was going to ask Ezra to move with her. She’s gotten over her ex, but doesn’t want her family anywhere near a new one.

Ryan Clerigh (Crush): Kate has always thought Ryan was cute, but it wasn’t until they started talking that she really developed a crush on him. He’s smart and sweet and actually interested in what her interests are. She’s working out a way to ask him out soon, though she wishes he’d make the first move.

Platonic Connections:

Jev Cipriano (Friend/Co-worker): She and Jev are the closest of her colleagues. He’s her age and funny, and they’ve evolved from work friends to going out at night friends. He is the major culprit when it comes to the strange and unexplained at the office, however. She thought it might be incompetence for a week or so, but she knows how smart he actually is and it just doesn’t line up.

Judson Clerigh (Friend): Judson always came into the office to have lunch with Jev. She was friendly with him in passing, but they didn’t really get to know each other until Judson brought her lunch too. They slowly became friends, which turned into Jev and Judson asking her to come out with them for drinks, and eventually meeting Ryan. However, she’s seen Judson go in and out of rooms at the Medical Examiner’s office, and he’s been added to the theory journal.

Adelaide “Addie” Blanchett (Coworker): It’s been nice having another woman closer to her age in the lab lately. They’ll grab brunch every so often and Kate is enjoying having a female friend to talk to.

Churchill Darling (Acquaintance): He seems to steal the show whenever he’s out for drinks with Jev and Kate. He is incredibly entertaining, but a part of her feels like his big, bright personality is hiding something.

Monty Wilders (Acquaintances): She met Monty when Addie invited her to brunch. He seems nice enough and it’s evident how much he adores Adelaide.

Darren Shaw (Co-worker): Shaw is a detective who often came in to see Jev and Addie. They all seem to know each other well, and Darren occasionally comes out for drinks with the group.

Douglas Gish (Police Supervisor): Kate has spoken to Douglas about the work being done by Jev. She expressed her concerns, but was more or less blown off. She wonders why this is all of a sudden being accepted.

Winston Abioye (Coworker): Winston is one of the detectives that Kate works with. He has always been friendly to her, but she has heard quite a few negative things about him.

Greta Bow (Friend): Greta and Kate work in the same department and have really become good friends. She thinks Greta is really sweet and has enjoyed going out outside of work together.

Bess Bonnaire (Friend):Bess and Kate hit it off from the first time they met when Bess had to visit the ME’s office. They soon started meeting up outside of work and have been friends since.

Eli Kohen (Coworker): Eli has told her that he prefers when she handles his evidence because of the frequent “accidents” and poor treatment of it by the other MEs. She has a feeling he’s talking about Jev, but hasn’t asked any further questions.

Hostile Connections:

Vincent Kane (Uncomfortable): Vincent seems to steer clear of Kate whenever he comes out with drinking with them. She doesn’t know why he dislikes her so much, but she’s starting to be hurt by it.

Simon Brodeur (Neighbor): Simon lives on the other side of her townhome and keeps opposite hours of hers. When she’s trying to sleep, he’s up playing some horribly sad song, or bumping around in a different way. She can’t wait to move out when her lease is up.

Angel Landyn (Dislike): Angel has hit on Kate frequently. She told him to stop, but he only left her alone after she had brought it up accidentally to Church and Patch.

Molly Bennett (Former Coworker): When Molly explained she was leaving and why she was leaving, it sent up a lot of red flags. Kate mulled it over, and finally got up the courage to ask if she felt safe and if she really wanted to leave. Molly took it the wrong way and stomped out of the room.

Breha Kaur (Reporter): Breha often pushes Kate for a scoop, especially causes of death. She doesn’t enjoy being harrassed and finds it aggravating.

Pets:

None.

→ History The Brooks family was well known in the Hamptons with a daughter and a son. They were everything a good rich WASP family should be: from old money, excellent hosts, upstanding members of the community, with brilliant beautiful children. However lurking behind the pristinely white outside of their family lurked tension. Ingrid struggled terribly in school, while James was looking like he’d be a disappointment in another way. Richard strayed and started up a year long affair which was brought to Georgette’s attention via a blackmail letter. They fought and struggled, all silently of course, before Richard agreed to another baby 7 years after their last. There entered Katherine, in all her pre-mee and hole in her heart glory. She needed to stay in the hospital for months after her birth, and when she came home all the shiny newness of her wore off. James began acting out for attention and Ingrid needed to be chauffeured to tutoring and equestrian and ballet. She was left with a nanny while her parents avoided the symbol of their broken marriage. She was smart and sweet, though painfully shy and easily forgotten in the hullabaloo of the eldest Brooks siblings.

As she grew, and they began leaving the house, Kate became her mother’s only project. She was in everything from orchestra, to diving and robotics. She excelled in her scientific endeavors and her parents pushed harder for her to succeed in school. Ingrid went to college and got a MRS degree. James came back with a boyfriend, much to her parents' chagrin, and Kate faded back into the sidelines. She graduated valedictorian and got her undergrad at Cornell, before going to Med school. She tried in vain to ignore her family, especially once she’d graduated, but they always seemed to find her. She settled in Boston, and there came James with his life ruining ways. He got into a relationship with her boyfriend’s brother, only to psychologically torture and then dump him. Ezra dumped her afterwards, which was perfect timing for her move to Chicago.

Once Kate got to Chicago, she began working as an ME. She always had an awkward bedside manner, and always enjoyed going to the morgue. A well paying spot opened up and she took it gladly. Every Brooks was horrified at the prospect of working with the dead, and swore they wouldn’t be visiting. This was wonderful news to Kate and another plus to the coroners office. She has started to venture out of her apartment in the last year and check out all the unique things there are to do there. One summer day she did the same routine as Ferris Bueller and found a new hobby in discovering Chicago filming spots.

→ The Present Kate has been working at the Medical Examiner’s office for a couple of years now and the small things she had brushed off as an inexperienced ME have piled up into a large, annoying unexplained phenomenon. It centers primarily around the other ME, Jev, and the old crime scene tech, Addie. Bodies disappearing, but always having an explanation later on, non-police being brought in to help with bodies, and more. She’s tried casually bringing it up to Jev and even went as far as the supervisor one time. He thanked her for her concern and then it went nowhere. Kate is determined to figure out what is going on and even has a journal full of theories she works on.

She has also been working up the nerve to ask Ryan Cleirigh out. Jev introduced her to him and his friend Judson almost a year ago, and they have slowly formed a friendship. She’s almost gotten up the nerve to ask him out a few times, but wasn’t sure he’d reciprocate. Only recently did Jev let her know she should go for it, and that Ryan was just bad at talking to people. Kate has a plan to ask him to a Terminator movie festival happening, but hopes he asks her out first.

#taken #kate brooks #katherine brooks

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greengargouille · 4 years

Text

At long last I have some time for Mother of Learning’s epilogue, which is great because I’ve been missing checking the tag but I wanted to avoid thinking too much about it before getting some rest So! What happened to our two -now former- time travellers since Zorian last fell unconscious?

-I expected either the ‘good morning’ wake up or a flashforward, but I admit I did not think of the two together. One month already, wow. Also, Zach is on friendly terms enough with Kirielle to rope her into his revenge pranks via PTSD. Neat.

(And Zorian complains about how long will Zach keep up with this, but, let’s admit it, halfway through that month Zorian probably pulled some nasty prank too in retribution, like pretending to have forgotten everything that happened within the loops. You can’t make me believe he never tried to get back at Zach) - “A dozen of people or so”, that’s... kind of a lot? I remembered that the only reason Zorian wasn’t sharing his bed with Kirielle in most restarts is because Imaya allowed her to have her own room while there wasn’t a third tenant for it. *checks previous chapters* Hmm, nope, it does say that there is a bunch of rooms on the second floor. Though I guess with the ‘slightly beyond’ capacity, some people do have to share their bedrooms.

Ah, nevermind, it does seems to be what I initially remembered. Well, one room for Imaya, one for Kael and Kana, one for Zorian and the last one for Kirielle would count as “a bunch”. But how are they sharing that between a dozen people?

(Zorian one evening just come to the Noveda Estate to get a room here, because he just can’t handle that many people under one roof and especially in his room.) (...Wait, is the Noveda Estate in good state, actually, or was it destroyed during the invasion attempt? Though I guess even if it’s mostly intact, it’s not Zach’s yet till he get a fair trial against his mentor)

-Ilsa is here! Did she sleep at the academy too? Or is she just here to watch over her students? I don’t care, I’m deciding she is sleeping here. Look, I might have never mentioned it before, but I have an incredibly soft spot at the idea of Ilsa and Imaya being girlfriends through their school years, and deciding to break up due to not being able to invest time in each other any more, but still remaining good friends. Look, I’m just a simple lesbian that like some wlw of adult age in her fantasy.

-Imaya having the time of her life aaaaaaah my heart, this epilogue only started and I already feel so blessed.

-Zorian ask where Zach is, Ilsa reply by refering to him as [Zorian’s] friend, which is... weird? He is her student too, even if she must not have seen much of him (or Zorian too, either, though he still tried to have mind magic sessions at school so maybe he was more present. Hmm. I do remember him saying to Akoja that he wouldn’t be present much though.) That would also imply that Zach is Zorian’s friend first, and eventually for his other classmates too. Hmmmmm.

...No, really, the fact that Zach was here but couldn’t wait for Zorian to wake up, wouldn’t that imply that he lives here too? Would make sense that he avoids the Estate if he is currently fighting with Tesen. Or maybe he comes to grab breakfast after whoever in charge of cooking at the Estate resigned after the invasion.

...I like the idea of Zach being part of the household, though, he must have spent enough time there through the loops to feel attached to the place. (which means that instead of Zorian going to the Noveda Estate to get at least one peaceful night, it’s Zach instead that come to crash in his room to avoid his shitty mentor outside of court meetings)

-Study groups is something I never thought about but make complete sense given how the academy is supposed to be in a bad state. Cyoria’s importance as a town will probably be massively cut despite the presence of the only rank 6 mana hole, and the academy’s management will be tough for the whole year. I wonder if, by the end of it, it will be able to go back to being the best academy of the country (continent?), or if its reputation will never recover and students will be more distributed across other academies. This could have interesting consequences, economically or politically.

-Ah, confirmation that Zorian was indeed absent from most classes this month.

-Zorian is starting to follow in Xvim’s footsteps, aww :’D

-We get to check up with Raynie, and while I don’t have much to say about it, I do like the... realism of it? The whole ‘putting this young girl with an emotional story up front to cover for other things, but ready to turn on her if it was beneficial’. We’re not left with a saccharine closure for her, but it still feels hopeful.

-Oh, Zorian is openly a mind mage. And here I thought he would really try to cover this up. Guess I will have to make major changes to that sequel fic I was never going to write in the first place

-Akoja finding motivation to become better out of the accident is... oddly sweet, in a way? Her way of explaining it is relatable. It was a terrible thing, and she knows it was terrible and feel bad for all those people, and guilty for how it turned out so well for her- but that’s not going to stop her from getting those opportunities. And she does frame it as “when war came for her again, she would be ready”, not out of altruism or wanting to protect others, which I actually really love?

-Zorian have an ‘uncanny ability to notice the problem people were having, and how to fix them’. I wonder what’s at play there. Is it his empathy/mind magic that helps him, his archmage level experience, the fact he already made training programs for multiple people in the past, or just because he is quite familiar with those people due to the time loop? Maybe all of this.

-Akoja understanding that the image she had of Zorian is flawed, but that she still likes him, is a good conclusion for her- even though the ways she notices in which he diverge from that mental picture are only due to the time loop, when even before that they already had major differences. Still a good step in the right direction.

-Akoja, Kopriva and Kael becoming buddies is nice. I like that the classmates are becoming friends even outside of the ZZ sphere of influence. (The term ‘bedfellow’ is not one I ever heard before, and I was ready to point this out as proof they all share rooms before looking at the definition. Sigh.)

-Ah, Zach is still seen as a ‘clown and a wastrel’ by his classmates, or at least Akoja. Seems obvious, as he didn’t interact much with her and need to stay low, but man, I feel like this kind of reputation could become a problem down the line. Or not. Even if he doesn’t show the full extend of his abilities, he can show enough to get some respect, for example hunting dangerous creatures.

-Kopriva thought Zorian became close to Zach for money, before learning about his sales. But not everybody have her connections. And Zorian is now a known mind mage. There’s probably one or two conspiracy theorists in Cyoria thinking that Zorian is manipulating Zach via mind magic and that’s why their relationship drastically switched.

-Hmm, if Kael is surprised someone got into his room despite the lock and ward, then it’s probably safe to say he doesn’t share it with someone else. Or another classmate, I guess he’s in the same situation with Kana that Zorian is with Kirielle.

-Some investigation ongoing! Seems like ZZ&co did a pretty good job at erasing their tracks. Zorian had probably no choice in leaving so much of the golem’s core behind, but I can’t help but think it means the end of his golem-making career, or he will have to keep it for private use- someone is going to recognise this kind of spell formula if he start producing golems interesting/effective enough to make enough sales despite being a one-man team.

-How much does the Triumverate Church knows about the summoning? Did Zorian went and erased the minds of people that were here when him and Zach first asked for an angel summon, or since it didn’t gave away anything about the loop, they were left alone? Is the fact those two were present at a not only successful summoning, but one that was hijacked by an high-rank angel, known by people higher in the Church hierarchy? Will they become unexpected allies in an eventual sequel when either of them is put in an awkward position by the crown?

-”It may take a year, or even a decade, but they were bound to make a mistake.” Flash forward a decade later, when Elayer learns the ‘saviors’ are the most powerful couple of the continent, and also are behind some of the help/money the investigation team got on other cases, and so it would be pretty bad for him to reveal the truth.

-POV switch to Damien, and we get a reminder that Zorian is basically an impostor who killed the original. Which is not something I, and probably many readers, thought much about at this point of the story, but it’s true this is a moral dilemma. Damien’s acceptance is a pretty normal reaction, though. I think. I dunno, my brother have yet to come up to me and tell me he is actually a time loop clone that killed the original, but I feel like I would be able to accept it.

-”Daimen was pretty sure his little brother would be willing to make an enemy out of the whole family for Kirielle’s sake”, except Daimen was baffled by their mother’s plans for her and wouldn’t go against Zorian, only try to smooth things over, and Fortov... wouldn’t it be hilarious if he actually supported Zorian through this plan. Zorian wouldn’t even know what to make of it since he just doesn’t care about his brother’s opinion.

-’Zorian can pull a grudge’, Daimen thinks, meanwhile Zach have been making petty pranks at Zorian for a whole month in retribution for putting him in an illusion world. The one who makes an enemy out of those two is going to have a very bad day.

-Benisek had to appear at least once in the epilogue, and with his overall contribution to the story it couldn’t have been a big part, but boy is his scene glorious. What a way to reveal some major information to people around :’)

-Spear of Resolve get to stroll openly through the city, how nice. The situation is far from being resolved for the web, and people’s perceptions probably aren’t going to shift even after getting used to them, but they are too important to strike down or ignore, and even before they already had trade relationships with some humans; a lot of possibilities are going to open for them.

-Taiven cameo! Her thriving as a combat mage and being totally independent from Zorian is a pretty satisfying end for her. Spending too much time around him would only make her discover some of his abilities and doubt her own, I’m afraid.

-The Noveda Estate is mentioned as a potential private meeting place, so it’s probably safe to assume it is not only mostly intact, and that Zach is living here/can invite people.

...Which reminds me. Didn’t Zorian have a workshop there (as seen in the chapter where he talks with Novelty and we hear about the pokeball grey hunter trap? Is the reason he asked Zach to buy a place for Kael and not for himself because he already had access to this one?

- “In all honesty, Zorian had yet to hand out even a fraction of the stuff he owed (...) It would take him literal years” This shouldn’t be surprising, given he already mentioned something similar before, but this is still something I wanted to point out, since it does align with a certain headcanon of mine on how the close future would go for him. This post is already pretty long so I won’t develop, might end up making another post about it I already said I won’t write that fic! Someone stop my brain from putting on more projects on me!

-Speaking of headcanons: Zorian is writing a book! My bet was on shaping exercises- a sort of follow up on the 15 variations basic book, putting the most interesting ones he saw during his travels, as well as less well known ones (Xvim did say there were shaping exercices for mind magic too, after all), and basically the kind of book he wished he could have during his training sessions with Xvim. But a mind magic book would actually be pretty great! If he is allowed to publish it. Not sure he can get the peer approval for it.

-Holy heck that Grey Hunter end. Well, that does answer the question of whether that primordial essence would dissolve away after Silverlake failed her contract. Man, I hadn’t expected her to actually have a part, despite joking about it.

-I expected Zach to have more of a role in the epilogue, but you know what? That just mean the unseen interactions are Free Real Estate.

This epilogue felt pretty good to read! It went in unexpected directions and managed to pull a lot of loose threads, while giving enough content to imagine an interesting sequel. I was worried till the end Zorian would date one of the girls he had interacted most with through the story, because this is the kind of disappointing ending stories tend to go for, but it really wouldn’t fit with Zorian’s character and just... the whole ethical problem of being mentally way older, having some major power imbalance and him retaining memories the other doesn’t have. Now that the story is completed I think I can go back and enjoy the passages where said girls appear more? They’re all very interesting characters in their own right, so I’m glad for that.

...I wouldn’t say I don’t want a sequel, but... I’m satisfied if Mr. Kurmaic ends the MoL-verse there (or only come back for worldbuilding posts on his blog). He did said he wanted to edit the story and eventually publish it before starting anything else, and he did want to write a completely different story, so even if he talked about a possible sequel, it wouldn’t be before years, and who knows how he will feel about the idea then. So I’m glad, I’m really glad, that the story ended so satisfying, because I feel like it’s fine for me if it’s over. I want to stay and enjoy the (very small) fandom here on tumblr, maybe contribute to it too, and I’m happy that I can do it without canon spoiling my enjoyment.

Mother of Learning will probably have a special place for me as a story. I wished it had more details on certain points, but it’s still a complete worldbuilding that felt fresh, the story had done amazingly well on Chekhov’s guns and twists, and I never felt like it went lazy or had disappointing answers to its mysteries (okay, maybe on Red Robe’s identity, but I feel that’s very forgivable). The magic system, Zorian’s progress, the time loop... so many elements that could have been badly exploited, but no, it never made characters take the idiot ball, the story didn’t pull power increase out of nowhere, it was all so good. Mostly, what I will admire the most, is that Nobody completed the story. The updates might have been constantly delayed, but it was still at a pretty good rhythm, and in a language that isn’t the maternal tongue of the author. As someone whose one-shots can stay WIP for years before I complete them... It is very inspiring.

I am so, so glad that I decided to read this story, that I was part of this adventure if only as a lurker... And I wish the best to Mr. Domagoj Kurmaic, whatever his next writing project will be- or even if he decides to stop writing at all. Sincerely, thank you.

#long post #very long post #mother of learning #personal opinon

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cherrincity · 4 years

Text

Cherrin City Soundbytes Casting Call

Hi all! I’m making a new podcast and I’d love to get some voice actors in it! Tag a friend you think would be interested!

Cherrin City Soundbytes is an anthology series about the lives of people living in the world's most prominent city of superheroes. Ranging from annoyingly mundane to cosmically fantastic, these stories try to capture the reality of this world's average. What get to be mundane when a bug alien from outer space saves your life? What is moral when a laid off employee tries to drown only the financial district? Most people are just trying to get by, and this is what we get to hear. As the name implies, these episodes will mostly be short. The show focuses on the humanity of people, despite their fantastical environment. The episodes will tend to be kind of... somber, but not devoid of hope.

Cherrin City Soundbytes is a Piece of Cake Podcasting Network Production! As such, we highly encourage Black, Indigenous and Mixed voice actors, as well as other actors of colour to audition, though others may do so as long as they respect the listed identities of the characters. Again to reiterate: please audition for parts that reflect your identity. For example, if you are not South Asian, do not audition for the specifically South Asian roles. If you are not nonbinary, please do not audition for the specifically nonbinary roles. Alternatively, if a role has its gender listed as open, that means any person of any gender may audition for that role. There are 17 different roles, so please stick to the ones that fit you or can accommodate you! In addition to this, please be 18 years of age or older to audition.

For each audition, you may do up to three takes of each line. Please compile them all into a single .mp3 or .wav file. If you are accepted for this podcast, we will be doing remote recordings with mandatory synchronous table reads. Please audition with the recording space you will use if hired. These roles will be paid $40 CAD over paypal.

Content warnings for this year of production include: violence, foul language, body horror, death, kidnapping, manipulation, body dysphoria and large insects. Not all warnings apply for every role; please feel free to send an email to [email protected] for more information or for any other questions you may have. Auditions will be open until October 31st, 2020.

Please note that all auditions must be sent through the google form link below. Any auditions sent to the email will be invalid. Feel free to audition for as many roles as you are able to fulfill, but please submit a new form and audio file for each role you

In summary:

17 roles open for auditions

Only audition for roles that fit your identity or can accommodate you

Be 18 years of age or older

Send us up to 3 takes per each line, all in one file

This podcast will be remotely recorded

These roles will be paid $40 CAD over paypal

Auditions open until October 31st, 2020

Please only send auditions through this link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc2kVXIFTY9IOiNvRSQWvIrB8LiIrI46xFOeFtuq2sb6xBlVA/viewform?vc=0&c=0&w=1&flr=0&gxids=7628

Roles

The Cherrin University Radio Host

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: South Asian

Age: Late teens, early twenties

Description: The Cherrin university radio host is an anonymous young woman who feels passionately for under discussed causes. Whether or not she does anything for them outside of ranting on a late night radio show is a bit of a sore spot, but no matter the issue she takes it seriously.

Lines:

It is 2:55 am, which means that it is technically the Cherrin City day of Super Powered Individuals Remembrance. Created by the city about 4 years ago, on paper the day exists to remember every super powered individual who has died. In action, the city uses it to lionize the dead members of their private task force and coerce more people into joining it.

The problem with being perceivable is that people look at you. And when people look at you, and they keep looking at you, you start to get recognized. (long pause) That has not always been a pleasant thing, in my experience.

Solla

Gender: Written as an alien who identifies as Female, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: several thousand years old, but doesn't really show it

Description: Solla is a dedicated member to the Cherrin City Starlight Watchers Squad, and is accustomed to working with her team both in bringing down extra terrestrial villains and tackling the enthusiastic and seemingly-ceaseless questions of the Cherrin City press. Polite, patient to a fault and kind of the mom of her group.

Lines:

Yes, I am Solla of the Cherrin City Starlight Watchers Squad. Yes I am an alien, and yes I know English, among several other languages. I appreciate all nice comments, but if you'd like to say something more in depth, you can email the city.

I am so sorry, but I have to go.

Henry Austin Bolte

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Mid twenties

Description: A gay, recently graduated costume designer trying to make it in Cherrin in the early 2000s. Also recently dumped, and kinda lonely. Very good at what he does, but uncomfortable with discussions of money.

Lines:

(sighs) Look, Vee, I don't care if this is some sex thing or whatever, I just need to know how you intend to use the suit so I can make it appropriately. You don't want some combo of kevlar and body armour if you're trying to fuck someone, right?

You did it. You're the one who did it. Oh my god.

Gender: Nonbinary (using he/they pronouns)

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Mid twenties

Description: An ambitious young person, also recently graduated. He's got big plans for his future and is not above manipulating other people to get what he wants. Hates being called desperate. Out of all the morally gray characters in this casting call, this person is the most 'super villain' out of all of them.

Lines:

I am not desperate. I am not a lucky, hapless fool. I am deliberate and calculating, and clever!

If you do anything to lose that respect... well. I know where to express my concerns.

Devon Milligan

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: Mid teens to early twenties

Description: Devon is a loyal young man part of the Cherrin City East End Exemplars. He has difficulty reacting decisively to surprises and can be slightly stubborn. But he appreciates honesty.

Lines:

How does getting up at 5am help out your scheme?

So you're all about making life better for yourself and no one else?

I-SPI

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: late teens to mid twenties. Older than Devon

Description: Less a supervillain and more a regular criminal or henchwoman who happens to have very passive super powers. Skilled and clever, she only feels like opening up when she is most desperate. Extremely cynical.

Lines:

C'mon. You're a superhero, aren't you? Shouldn't you stay in top physical form in case another supervillain wants to fall into your lap?

If that's what it has to be; if that's the only choice I'm offered, then I sure as hell'll take it. Who else is gonna care for me? You?

Bernard North

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Early thirties

Description: Has had a small taste of power and now refuses to give it up. Has stopped caring about the feelings of others. Please note that this character has only one line.

Line:

Feel free to exhaust yourself, I-SPI. You've already proven yourself incorrigible. But it doesn't matter, now that I have you in my possession. You and I are going to go very far together.

Hannah Nathan

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Late thirties

Description: The host of Musicity, a tv show about local musicians in Cherrin City, Hannah has worked very hard to be in this position. While she carries herself as having seen it all, she still cares about the comfort and state of her guests.

Lines:

Hello everyone! Welcome to another episode of Musiciscity! I'm your host, Hannah Nathan, and today, we here in the studio are joined by Cherrin City's very own, Alta Reyes!

Oh my god, Alta! Alta, are you alright? Can we get a doctor on set?

Alta Reyes

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Latina

Age: Early twenties

Description: The lead singer of Raise The Population, she currently finds herself in the wrong body, and in the wrong world. Despite these strange circumstances, she's doing her best to get her group back home.

Lines:

Me and my band mates, we were just working at getting known and getting better at making music. We crawled our way up from being nobodies begging for views on our music video to finally, actually getting a hit song!

The further I get away from the life I knew, the harder I cling to the things I do know, even as they keep changing. This place honestly feels the closest to home so far.

Brandi

Gender: Trans woman

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Open

Description: The host of Public! This! Closure!, a new radio show about people hashing out their interpersonal problems on the airwaves. She is always very composed and attempts to be impartial. (She also really wants this show to be a success and is always on the lookout for more people to have on it.)

Lines:

Wait, you kissed her?

And it looks like that's all the show we have time for today, folks! Join us again next time, here on Cherrin City's very own c98.7 for more Public! This! Closure!

Virginia 'Gina' Jones

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Mid twenties, early thirties

Description: She went on a lovely date with Josephine, and decided to go on, Public! This! Closure! the new radio show about people hashing out their interpersonal problems on the airwaves. She hopes this show will be able to reconnect her with Josephine and that she can find out why Josephine ghosted her after their date.

Lines:

...So you could remember the show you were watching, but not the woman you went out with?

Well, I hope you do. I mean, I don't know much about you, but even despite that, I... I want to see you again.

Josephine Georges

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: Mid twenties, early thirties

Description: Went on a nice date with Gina, but almost immediately afterward, had her whole world upended. Is currently distracted with other pressing matters, but is absolutely willing to continue dating Gina.

Lines:

I've listened to the show before. (sighs) So, who else has beef with me?

And I didn't think I would be meeting a lot of potential Sparker dates on an alien planet!

Gender: Nonbinary (any pronouns, but initially presents as male)

Ethnicity: Open

Age: 15

Description: An orphaned young person looking for his place in the world. Goes on a very emotional journey, but has extremely villanous tendencies. Is very good at using his super power. Kinda lonely.

Lines:

You steal. That's what you do, isn't it? I mean, the only way anyone gets easy money is by stealing it.

I said, are you fucking kidding me? We literally live in a world where people get to call themselves whatever the hell they want, stupid shit like Resolute and Nightlight and SuperStar and you draw the line at The End?

Isabella

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: 19

Description: An orphan who lived in the same group home as TE but aged out of it. Had a good relationship with TE, sees him as a younger sibling. Is struggling to find satisfaction with her own life, in terms of her (illegal) career, her (nonexistent) love life, and her (nonexistent) social life. Also has a superpower, but it's rather weak.

Lines:

Well, it can get a little more hostile than that, but never more complicated. And you seem pretty capable with your power. We could use someone as capable as you.

Look, I've been tolerating a lot of your... you-ness because I got it, sort of. We lived together, we had the same traumatic experiences... and I care about you, I really do.

Guiltmaster

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Late twenties

Description: He's a villain with the power to make people feel extreme amounts of guilt and perhaps other things as well. An intelligent man who has lost interest in trying to make it in life through legal methods, but someone who never lost his deep sense of empathy for others.

Lines:

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to help him at all. So we waited, hoping for someone to find us. But, by the time they finally found us, there was no more us.

What you feel is what you feel. It's real and worthy and you cannot make it stop by assuming that because worse things have happened, what happened to you is not valid.

Pat

Gender: Open

Ethnicity: East Asian

Age: Open

Description: Someone who is going to therapy and trying to get over their guilt. Uncomfortable opening up to others, but is also unwilling to deny strangers' questions.

Lines:

Yeah? Did you ever kill your entire family?

All of them died, because I thought they didn't care about what I cared about.

The Interviewer

Gender: Open

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Open

Description: Despite the fact that filming is all but banned in Cherrin City, this interviewer is an out-of-towner attempting to make a documentary about super powered individuals. They're hoping that a certain real estate agent will be able to provide juicy and shocking details about her super powered clientele.

Lines:

Sounds horrific.

Oh my god, Larry you would not believe the waste of time I just had.

#voiceactor #voice acting #podcasts #audio fiction #audio drama #superheroes #cherrin city #cherrin city soundbytes

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octopineslime · 4 years

Text

Nightmare

The short drabble somehow turn into sorta a fic along the way *sweating*. The ending was kinda rushed and not to my liking that much, but I want to crank it out before I lose interest.Grammar mistakes might showed up a lot as well so I apologized before handed.

Warning: mild mention of gore and blood. Please proceed at your pace.

————————————————-*

White. That was the only color he saw even when he stranded his eyes to find any others. White wall, white ceiling, white furniture,...every goddamn things in this space reminded him about the hellhole he was forced to stay in, being a fucking lab rats to those cold, calculated eyes monitoring above.

The longer he stared at the fucking color, the madder and more broken his conscience seemed to be as it conjured up all sort of gruelsome decorations he could have made out of those scientists with his power. And boy, did he get his wish granted.

But instead of those motherfuckers, the body parts that scattered around the room were of of that familiar chestnut hair tomboy. Not the real one though. Clones. Thousands of them laying in their pool of blood, lifeless eyes pierced into his black soul.

He could see his reflection staring back at him in that crimson liquid, all twisted and grinning maniacally, which was definitely unsuited for the face of a 15 years old boy.

And suddenly he was pushed and fell into the puddle, panic overshadowed his senses as he tried to activate his power and flail his limbs as not to get drowned. But all his attempts were rendered useless as he couldn’t feel his ability come forth and his body felt like it was chained, so he gave up and succumbed to the darkness.

Once again, he found himself standing in an another space, this time a void that stretched for miles with nothing presented. The silence hung in the air, pressurized against his skull and threatened to pop his eardrums off if not for a source of light which suddenly flooded his sight.

Blinded for a temporary moment, he tried to blink his eyes to adjust to the brightness while his feet automatically carried him to the source. The light then dimmed enough for him to make out a human outline having their back faced against him.

Everything became clearer and he instantly recognized the familiar features: short and unkempt chestnut hair with a weirdly sticking out strand on top, long sleeved button up which hung down her small frame. And as she turned around, wide brown orbs gazing straight as him.

The very being that stood in front of him clearly resembled the little girl he had saved from all those time ago, always pestering for his attention and followed him around like a duckling to its mom. But at the same time, she was not.

He instantly knew why.

Instead of the usual liveliness and twinkling light which was usually presented in those soulful eyes, only emptiness remained in those vacant gaze that was directed at him. Just like a doll. Just like every other clones that died under his very hands.

Never in his life had he felt so nervous as Last Order open her mouth and muttered the one word he dreaded: “ Murderer”. Just like that then she started to melt and fall apart like a decaying corpse and it was downright horrified to see.

He tried to move forward, reaching out his hand to somehow change her fate but never quiet touch a lock of hair cause his feet were glued to the ground. Scream bubbling at the base of his throat, desperately clawed it way out through the molasses filled in his mouth as he helplessly watched her disappeared.

He cried.

------------------------------------*

Accelerator woke up to the sound of his own cry echoing through the wall of his bedroom. Sweat dripped down his forehead, drenching the collar of his shirt as he tried to calm his erractic heartbeat. He must have look like shit as he saw the familiar figure, which plagued his nightmare, standing at the bedroom doorway with the utmost worried expression on her face.

The older version of that little girl calmly walked to his figure and upon reaching him, gently enclosed her arms over his shoulder as she sat down with him. The esper hitched a breath, half expected her to fall apart just like the dream and forever haunted him with her spiteful gaze. But it didn’t happen. She was still here, gently stroking his matted hair and filled his ears with soothing words. So he allowed himself to relax a little and wrapped his arms around her for the much needed closure.

Last Order pulled him down the mattress so they could lay comfortably as she waited for him to divulge his discomfort. Time spent together had taught her to be patient towards his inability to share his thoughts and worries, in fear of them being exploited as his weaknesses. But he came around, though not very often he did it, but the act of him trying was already a reward itself.

Her scent wafted his nose and he greedily inhaled for each sniff he took calmed his jumble nerves.Closing his eyes, Accelertor weighed the facts of either telling the girl or just keep the nightmare all to himself. But just the thought of Last Order, in her younger version, calling him a murderer despite it being the truth felt like a stab to his heart. He needed confirmation again. So he relented.

“ I remembered standing in that experiment room again, slaughtered every Sisters clones without feeling remorse. I’m a fucking monster, even then and now.” His voice scraped though the air like nail on chalkboard, hoarse from the shouting.

He could feel the girl above him shifted her position, probably to disconfirm his statement, but he cut in again before she could even attempt: “ Then I saw your younger self standing in a void, staring at me like I was the most disgusting creature to have ever appeared in front of you.” He didn’t realize how loud his voice had gotten and how tightly his fists had woven in the material of her shirt, he didn’t even glance upon to see her reaction.

“...And a murderer was what you called me before falling apart like a goddamn broken statue, while I couldn’t do shit to prevent it.” The esper quietly breathed out, hating how vulnerable he was at the moment.

The silence descended thickly upon the atmosphere and each second ticked by only heightened his anxious about her judgement. Ever since Last Order came to the age, not only had her body undergone some physical alterations, but her mind had as well as it started to mature with deeper and sharper thoughts. No longer could she accepted him to a fault with that unconditional love of a child, some of that admiration might have faded away for she was capable to distinguish between what was right and wrong now. So he could say his fear wasn’t baseless at all.

Something warm suddenly crashed on his lips and caught him so off guard that he forgot how to comprehend for a moment. Realization then dawned upon him that he was being kissed, so he hesitantly reciprocated her gesture while confusion and doubt still plagueing his mind.

They broke off a moment after, him still confused and her with a radiant smile and twinkling eyes. Last Order slid down a bit until they were forehead to forehead as she proceeded to stare deep into his sanguine eyes, only sastisfied till his full attention was on her, then she spoke:

“Misaka wouldn’t still be here if she had thought Accelerator was a murderer on his will. Yes, he did commit the killing of the Sisters, the action was indeed wrong regardless of his intention. Misaka said as Misaka could feel Accelerator flinched against her words” She soothingly rubbed small circles against his back as she continued:

“ But Accelerator hadn’t hesitant for a moment when it came to saving Misaka despite nearly losing his life along the way, and for that, she knew he was more humane than what he gave himself credited for. Also, every acts of him helping others could be seen as a way for him to redeem his mistake. So please, don’t call yourself a monster. Misaka said as Misaka begged you to not be so hard on yourself.” Last Order closed her eyes, pulling the esper closer until their body was flushed against each other to convey her message.

He couldn’t believe how much love and acceptance he was being given from this human being in front of him. The whole ordeal would look utterly ridiculous and would take shit for him to believe if this was to come out of someone else. But this was Last Order he was talking about, the girl who could see hope and positivity in every goddamn situations to the point of nativity, while he took the world in for all the cynical things it could be.

While still finding it hard to forgive himself, Accelerator could already feel some weight being lifted from his chest, reassurance filled his mind from knowing she didn’t think any less of him even in her older state. He slightly nodded his head to signal his silent assurance and the act brought another sunshine smile to the girl’s face.

Quickly pecking his lips, Last Order let out a yawn as she snuggled up closely to him, and promptly fell asleep. Finally feeling the weariness catching up to his body, the esper let himself relax, contented in the arm of his lover as sleep gently encased them both in the dark cloak of night.

#accelerator x last order #accelerator #last order #aged up!last order #might be a bit dark #but still have some fluff along the way though #my writing

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comic-panels · 5 years

Text

Movie Review – Toy Story 4

So frankly I think Toy Story 4 sucked.

I’ve really liked the Toy Story series before now. At the time of the first Toy Story I was pretty excited about CG animation (I mean my user name is literally a reference to a CG animation bit that blew my mind at the time.) so not only did I enjoy the story, but I was really into it on a technical level.

Although I was only eight.

Toy Story 2 succeeds as a sequel mostly by hitting stronger emotional highs. The animation is clearly better, but it’s more iteratively better. In my head Toy Story 1 and 2 look comparable, but I also know that if I watched them back to back I wouldn’t feel that way.

By the time of Toy Story 3 the technical improvement of the animation did not matter. The question was whether the movie could justify itself and bring emotional closure to these characters. By delivering a story where the chapters confronted their own oblivion and a story about how it’s ok to let go.

So after a three movie arc about aging that ended with confronting death I was curious how Toy Story 4 could find the next emotional theme to push the series forward and justify itself.

It did not.

Toy Story 4 is a mid-life crisis. It’s Woody once again feeling old and obsolete, but this time instead of accepting that things change and that he still has value he runs away from his responsibility, chases nostalgia, hooks up with his ex and joins the circus. Woody has not only regressed as a character, the movie never requires him to change. Sure he’s chasing personal happiness, but he never really gets confronted on his bullshit, and that results in an insufferable movie.

Toy Story 4 joins the club of movies I can’t deal with because I am just done with Old Man bullshit in movies. And I will say that Pixar kind of built its brand on mixing kids movies with a strong infusion of male nostalgia. But those older movies work because they’re still kids movies where the characters learn lessons; they overcome their negative impulses.

This is a movie where Woody’s problem at the start is that he’s still acting like the Boss despite not being a Toy that Bonnie really cares about. The solution to that character flaw the movie comes up with is for Woody to run away and join the circus, dodging the confrontation entirely. In fact the movie still presents Woody as having the best understanding of Bonnie and what she need; as it is he that knows to sneak to school with Bonnie to watch out for her and helps in the creation of Forky; who serves as a plot catalyst but also kind of doesn’t matter. Woody finds temporary purpose in trying to teach and babysitting Forky from throwing himself away as he believes that his is not a Toy and is in fact Trash (Same), but ultimately the point of all that is just to physically get Woody where the real plot needs him so that he finds Bo Peep.

On the animation front I actually think the expressiveness of characters is working against the movie. Gabby Gabby and Bo Peep don’t look like toys. They basically just look the same as humans in this movie. One of the keys to Toy Story as an early CG animation movie was how it used the medium’s weakness of characters looking plasticky as a strength. That magic is gone. On the other side there is nothing even remotely comparable to the hell inferno spectacle of 3’s climax. The animation is very good, but it’s not notable or inspiring, which is actually kind of shocking for a Pixar movie.

This isn’t the worst movie. There were a bunch of genuine laughs. But it never justifies itself, and undermines the end of 3.

So, this is all what I thought just having seen the movie, but I’ve also learned about some of production troubles that plagued the film. Stuff like John Lasseter, the main writer/director of the previous 3 Toy Story movies co-founder of Pixar and chief creative officer at Disney, having stepped down during production because of sexual misconduct accusations (He has since been hired as the head of Skydance Media’s animation division). Stuff like the original writers, Rashida Jones and Will McCormack, having stepped down and giving this statement: “We parted ways because of creative and, more importantly, philosophical differences. There is so much talent at Pixar, and we remain enormous fans of their films. However, it is also a culture where women and people of color do not have an equal creative voice.”

So there’s that.

Toy Story 4 introduces a character pair, Ducky and Bunny, that are the Toy Story equivalent of Skids and Mudflap. They happen to get what is probably the funniest bit in the movie, but... oof.

Kids love Jar Jar Binks.

And then there’s Bo Peep whose redesign has gotten a lot of talk but all I can think is “Whelp, they sure did update her to 1940s feminism.” She wears pants and knows mechanic stuff guys; she’s so independent.

Oh, and when push comes to shoves she unconditionally loves a shitty dude because of his shittiness.

That’s the thing, no matter what they did to make Bo Peep more compelling and interesting, she was doomed to be undermined by the fact that she’s completely subservient in the plot to Woody. The basic premise of Toy Story 4, as conceived by John Lasseter, is that it’s a love story between Woody and Bo Peep, with Lasseter saying that he was basing it on him and his wife.

Ha.

Despite numerous rewrites that core concept remained. So what we’re left with is a movie where Bo Peep pushes back of Woody’s shit, but just eats it over and over until she just gives up and loves him for it. Turning on a dime from being angry at him to swooning over him.

As the Checkers/Rally’s slogan goes: “You Gotta Eat!”

The plot, Woody’s story, ruins everything. If this story had really been built around Bonnie’s struggles at adjusting to school, and made a more egalitarian use of the cast I think it would have been fine.

Maybe not great, I dunno, but at least it wouldn’t be this.

The rest of the cast is fighting and stretching the limits of the fiction to hold things in place so that the story can even happen, but they really aren’t involved in the story. They are just physically holding the Humans in place, for a long time, past the point of believability and past the point of being funny (and not long enough for it to become funny again). Most frustrating is that the movie never finds anything for Jessie to do. Buzz is also completely sidelined, but the movie at least remembers that he should be involved and gives him a running gag.

During the credits there’s a scene with a repeat of the beginning of the school year, and Bonnie has “made a new friend” only this time it’s a girl, Knifey. And so we get Forky filling the Woody mentor role trying to teach her that she is a toy and not trash but also he wants to fuck her.

I do not like this movie.

Thank You For Your Time.

#toy story #toy story 4 #movie #movie review #review #John lasseter #pixar #disney

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theperksofbeingbarbie · 5 years

Text

Twelve Years - Ben Hargreeves x Female Reader One shot

Summary: You go to Reginald Hargreeves’ funeral to make sure he’s really dead, wanting closure for your best friend’s death years before. You get what you went for, and more.

Word Count: 1,789

Paring: Ben x Female Reader

Warnings: Angsty, I guess?; Language; Mentions of Death

A/N: I just love my Bentacles and needed to write something. I need more Ben asap. You’re like 15 when you meet Ben, 17 when he dies! Flahsback in italics!

/╲/\(╭•̀ﮧ •́╮)/\╱\

Walking through the front doors of the large estate that housed the Umbrella Academy was a new sensation, despite knowing the home as if it were your own. You were often climbing through the window to your best friend’s bedroom to gain access, sneaking through the halls like a shadow.

“Ben! Do you really need another book?” you heard a voice complain as the bell above the door chimed to announce possibly the last customer of the day. “You really don’t have enough already?”

You made your way from one of the shelves you were restocking to the front to greet the customers. You were a bit surprised at the pair in front of you: a tall skinny boy in the most obnoxious outfit you had ever seen, smiling at you like the Cheshire Cat and a much quieter, shorter boy with a shy smile and kind eyes that you found yourself getting lost in. “Do you need help finding anything? I have to close up soon,” you offered with a smile.

“You can help me by giving me your number,” the taller one purred, taking a few steps forward so he could lean against the end of the bookshelf.

The shorter boy groaned, hitting his friend in the arm. “Klaus, leave her alone,” he hissed.

You blushed, trying to keep the smile on your face. “Klaus is it? While I’m flattered, I’m going to have to say no.”

Klaus dropped the flirty act in exchange for general friendliness, shrugging a bit at your rejection. “That’s alright! Magazines?”

You motioned to the rack by the check out counter, watching him sashay over to pick up a few fashion magazines.

“His name is Ben, by the way! He’s a very gentle lover!” Klaus shouted casually, flipping through Vogue.

You and Ben both blushed at that, Ben pulling a random book off the shelf in front of him to read the blurb on the back instead of looking at you. “[Y/N],” you introduced. “Your friend is... Something else.” You giggled when Ben rolled his eyes.

“He’s my brother,” he corrected. “Long story.”

“Maybe you could tell me sometime.”

And he did. Ben came in almost every week, often alone but sometimes with Klaus in tow. You told him all about your aunt’s bookshop and how you had worked there as soon as you could see over the counter. He told you about his family and how they were trained to save the world. Soon your weekly meetings grew to twice a week, and soon to you climbing into his window every day after school before starting your shift at the shop. Ben was everything to you. You even had plans for him to leave the Academy. He was going to move in with your aunt, work at the shop with you, go to college, start a real life outside of being forced to use a power he hated.

That never happened, though. You climbed into his window to take his bag to the shop with you, but was greeted by a drunk, sobbing Klaus.

You didn’t bother going to Ben’s funeral, though Klaus assured you that you didn’t miss much. There was no body to bury, nothing to mourn but a gaudy statue.

When you heard Reginald died, you were... Happy. Ecstatic, really. The fucking prick that pushed Ben to his limit and ultimately killed him finally got what he deserved. You wanted to go to the funeral, make sure he was really gone, that your friend finally got justice. So there you were, in front of the home that once brought so much joy to you, wishing the one person you cared about was somehow going to be on the other side of the door.

“Miss [Y/N], hello,” Pogo greeted with a tired smile. He always pretended that he didn’t know about the girl that would climb through Ben’s window, choosing to allow the children some freedom as long as it was harmless.

“Hi, Pogo,” you greeted, holding out the flowers in your hand. “Is Klaus here?”

Pogo nodded his head as he accepted the arrangement, stepping aside to let you in. “You know your way around, I assume?”

You nodded, leaving him in favor of the grand staircase.

-------------------

The funeral was strange, to say the least. Between the return of Five, the admission of the end of the world, and the most awkward eulogy ever. You didn’t think it could get much worse until Diego and Luther started to fight. You laughed when Klaus started to egg them on, but your heart seemed to stop when Luther’s fist collided with Ben’s statue.

“And there goes Ben’s statue,” Allison snarled with a roll of her eyes, turning to go back into the house.

You could feel the eyes of Klaus and Vanya on you as you stared at the broken figure. They were the only ones who truly knew the extent to which you cared for Ben. Klaus watched as you fell in love with his brother. Vanya only found out years later when she did a book reading at the bookshop that now belonged to you since your aunt retired. You invited her to stay for coffee and told her about your friendship, she pieced the rest of it together herself.

You stayed in place as everyone started to clear out, Klaus rubbing your arm as he walked past after putting his cigarette out in his father’s ashes. You slowly walked over to the broken statue, picking up Ben’s head before leaning against the stand. “It doesn’t even look like you,” you mumbled, running your thumb over the cheekbone.

How was that for irony? The one person who helped keep the family together when he was alive, broken and shattered like the brothers and sisters inside the home.

“Miss [Y/N],” Pogo said sadly as he watched, causing you to jump, dropping the piece on the ground in your surprise. “There’s something I need to show you, and the others.”

-------------------

You were front and center, staring at Ben’s lifeless body on the other side of a glass window. He was connected to a plethora of machines you had never seen before, fluorescent lights reflecting off the pristine white and metal surfaces. He still looked like he was the same age as his siblings, somehow still able to age. Of course Sir Reginald Sickfuck would have a secret medical room in a subfloor below his home.

You barely registered Diego’s voice, “Ben isn’t dead?”

“Ben had plans to disobey your father. Afraid of his powers hurting innocents if he did live on his own, your father put him into this suspended life state,” Pogo answered. “He is dead, but can be brought back.”

“Disobey?” You think the voice belonged to Vanya.

“He was leaving. After an argument with your father...”

Tears started to spill onto your cheeks. He was kinda killed by his father because he was going to leave with you.

“Your father wanted the option to bring Ben back if his powers were needed again.”

“Use him,” you growled. “You mean, in case he wanted to use Ben and the power he hated. Say what you mean, Pogo. He would rather kill his son than let him live a normal life.” You shook your head, turning on your heel to stomp away.

-------------------

The next few days didn’t even feel real. Twelve years. Twelve years you had thought your best friend to be dead. Twelve years you mourned Ben. Twelve years you ached to hear his laugh or see his smile again.

Seeing him again hurt more than you would expect. Who got to fulfill their dream of seeing their dead loved ones again? You got your wish, so why did your heart still ache? He could be woken up and brought back to your side as if no time had passed. But it had. Time had come and gone. You had partners, life changes, a cat, a shop. It was your fault that he’d been locked in the basement all those years. It was your fault that his life was stolen from him.

You sighed when you heard the bell above the door chime. “I’m sorry, we’re closed. We open back up at 9,” you said over your shoulder, not bothering to look up from the books you were putting labels on.

“I’ve been reading the same book for twelve years, though. Take pity on me and recommend something?”

Your head snapped up at the familiar voice, the voice you never thought you’d hear again. Your voice was barely above a whisper as you stood, “Ben?” Tears stung the edges of your eyes when he smiled. God, that smile.

“It’s really me,” he promised, taking a few steps forward. “It’s nice to have you see me, finally. Following Klaus around has its perks, but actually having a conversation without him in the middle is amazing.”

Of course Ben would make a joke about his time being dead. Letting out a watery laugh, you closed the distance between you to wrap him in a bone crushing hug. “I’ve missed you, Benny Bunny,” you mumbled into his shoulder.

“I’ve missed you too. You have no idea.”

“You apparently got to see me through Klaus, though.” You laughed, pulling away to wipe the tears from your eyes. “I feel bad for telling him to fuck off every time he said you thought I looked pretty. I didn’t know he could actually see you.”

Ben smiled fondly, refusing to let go of your waist. It had been so long since he had been hugged and there was nothing like your hugs. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you like crazy.”

You returned the smile, placing your hands back on his arms as he held you. “I’m sorry, Bunny. If I didn’t tell you to leave--”

“He would’ve found another reason to punish me.” Ben shook his head, resting his forehead against yours. “I shouldn’t have fought with him. I shouldn’t have told him I fell in love with a normal girl.”

Suddenly all the air in your lungs seemed to leave you. “Love?” you repeated, pulling back a bit to see his face properly, searching for any sign of it just being a platonic love.

Ben blushed but nodded. He wasn’t going to let this moment pass when he waited twelve fucking years. “I love you, [Y/N]. More than anything.”

“Bunny,” you huffed, pulling him down for a loving kiss twelve years in the making. “I love you too.”

The grin that took over Ben’s features rivaled the sun, causing you to match it. Ben pulled you in for another kiss, never wanting to know time without your touch again.

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xoruffitup · 5 years

Text

Burn This: The Oversized Review/Analysis

I sat down this afternoon to write out all of my thoughts about this play, given that they’ve become more complicated after each viewing, and here I am just finishing up some 6 hours later. :’) Clearly, this play is much more complex than it seems!

I’ve now been fortunate enough to watch Burn This three times, and each time I experience something new. A lot of the reviews have been lukewarm about the play itself and skeptical of how well it functions as a revival on a modern stage. This play is absolutely a product of its time, and the revival consciously places itself in the original 80s setting through the costumes and music. Strictly speaking, I would have to agree that in some ways, the play doesn’t age well. A lot of my reservations upon first viewing towards Pale’s character and the portrayed relationship with Anna stem from this cultural shift – A modern audience watching this play has a lot more sensitivities and a higher bar of scrutiny towards an irreverent, aggressive male character like Pale than in the time of its writing. Although I believe a lot of the slurs in the original play have been removed, the audience still always makes an audible reaction of discomfort when Pale slings the words “cunt,” “oriental,” and “fag.” And yet, the audience spends practically all the rest of their time laughing up a storm at his crazy diatribes and curse-laden rants. The play is still an absorbing pleasure to watch, and for all the nitpicking I and many others are doing towards Pale’s character, at the end of the day I would still praise this production and argue its merits, its lingering universal resonance, and the brilliance of its writing.

Since Pale’s relationship with Anna is the main drive of the story, the story would lose all appeal if Pale were found completely unlikable. And yet, the reviews that have questioned their chemistry do so only partially for this reason. For the most part, reviewers are raving about Adam – Finding his portrayal to be the disarming, shocking highlight of the show. Like Anna, for all that he makes us uncomfortable, we find ourselves wanting more of his biting honesty, his crude humor, and his commanding, live-wire presence. So what is the play’s challenge? Aside from unchangeable aspects such as cast chemistry (though personally, I thought Keri and Adam had plenty) – The challenge may be that a play like this, exhibiting an ill-advised, volatile relationship like this one, can’t simply exist unquestioned anymore. This type of explosive man, hesitant woman, and tempestuous passion is no longer a reality we accept for standard. And so, perhaps some audiences fail to find the play’s story compelling or authentic.

This play contains several dangerous ledges. In the three performances I’ve seen, these ledges have been crossed to various extents. Here are what I believe to be the main tensions within the play that challenge a modern audience, and which are handled by the cast delicately and differently in each show.

Is Pale the archetype of the hyper-masculine? Is he disrespectful, inconsiderate, or worst – predatory towards Anna?

Why, comparatively speaking, does Anna have such a small presence? Does this compromise the integrity of the play, when it’s intended to be her story?

Is this really a story about romance? Are we supposed to want Anna to want Pale? Is their story one of snowballing tragedy, or of consolation, connection, and artistic fulfillment?

Is Pale the destructive archetype of the hyper-masculine?

I’ll start with the first point, as this is really the most crucial. From a storytelling standpoint, Pale needs to be dangerous. He needs to embody primal chaos, and make the audience just as uncomfortable and conflicted as Anna. I’ve used this quote in a previous post, but bringing it back because it’s so perfectly apt: “Menacing, profane, dangerous and yet oddly sensitive, Pale is both terrifying and fascinating and, in the end, the one who brings to Anna the unsettling but compelling love that, despite her fears and doubts, she cannot turn away.”

Without this response to him, the play simply wouldn’t work. Pale’s entrance into the play needs to completely upend and throw into disarray everything that came before. In the twenty minutes or so before his entrance, the world of this play is a quiet, thoughtful, and mournful place. Anna has just returned from the terrible experience of Robbie’s funeral. She’s questioning her inspiration and future as a choreographer. Burton attempts to wax about his writing and the ultimate force of great love or “some megapassion.” It is tame and innocuous. Burton’s dialogues seem charming, even bordering silly in their grandiose, guileless pretension. Then enters Pale, who barrels through the door in an explosion of curses, energy, and authenticity. He’s not standing there trying to find the fumbling words to describe a “megapassion” – In all his hot mess pain, he is one. And to Anna, his overpowering, magnetic presence is both more than she can bear, and a blessed cover for her own pain and lack of direction.

For all his political incorrectness and bad manners, I do sincerely love what Pale represents. To me – in this play about the search for artistic authenticity and inspiration, he represents the depths to which an artist might perhaps need to dive into their own uncomfortable, ugly emotions in order to create something honest. It’s no surprise that it’s through meeting Pale that Anna is finally able to choreograph the dance piece that gives her closure for Robbie’s death. His presence is the only thing incendiary enough to be called true inspiration. While Anna begins the play adrift and helpless in the expanse of her grief after Robbie’s loss, with no way to process this terrible suffering that can find no place or redress in her every day life, Pale’s massive vitality is the only thing equally as powerful. By the end, it seems to ground Anna. His destabilizing presence makes her confront the type of chaotic, profound state of being Robbie’s loss thrust her into, and ironically, sharing that space with Pale eventually affords her the equanimity and resilience to process her grief and ultimately create something from it.

While Anna seems to want to run from her grief rather than face it, Pale is the opposite – He tortures himself by wallowing in it. By the end of the play, the two seem to have pulled each other to a middle ground between their opposite coping mechanisms. Finally, this might be a place where they can each move on with their lives. While Anna’s manner of physically comforting Pale is kind and familiar, his manner of helping her is a bit more unconventional – Though arguably equally effective, knowing Anna ends the play in a more centered and productive position than she began it in. After their relationship has dragged on a while and Anna begins trying to break it off, Pale says, “You know, you’re a much different person in the sack then you are standing up.” Wince. Here’s the insensitive guy complaining that she won’t just stop talking and continue the convenient hook-up arrangement. But then, as he often does, Pale throws us for a loop. He pauses, then adds with emphasis and a hint of challenge, “Which one’s the lie?”

This always seems to be one of the most powerful lines of the play. The audience usually makes an audible reaction, as with just a few words, Pale shifts from seeming self-centered, to being the only one who cares enough to challenge Anna for her own good. Because really, this is the crux of what has caused her such pain and debilitation since Robbie’s death. She’s been wearing a mask to try to cover the depth of the loss she truly feels. Like Pale says a moment later in this same scene, and another one of my favorite lines – “People walking down the street, don’t mean a thing they’re doing.” Similarly, when she tells Pale she wants him to leave because he frightens her, he calls out that she knows he’s not dangerous – she’s simply afraid of “feeling something.” Anna and her friends talk about their artistic endeavors and ambitions. They talk about Robbie’s death, sure, but none of them feel and act their grief the way Pale does. This isn’t to say that each character needs to run around wailing in order to be authentic, but Pale’s call-out here is what wakes Anna to the fact that she needs to marry these two disparate areas of herself – Her immense, debilitating grief, and her work as a dancer/choreographer. At the beginning of the play, Anna can neither advance her work as a choreographer, nor deal with her grief. But by the end – By realizing the artificiality in pretending that she was fine and life could go on, she is able to direct the immense passion and power of her grief towards both artistic and personal resolution.

Now, examining this relationship from the lens of gender, rather than artistic fulfillment and emotional authenticity, is a thornier task. The first time I saw this play, I was a bit uncomfortable with my initial impression of Pale as the type of man who doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer – if he even asks the question at all. Originally, I didn’t like that he assumes his welcome with Anna and initially tries to blow past her misgivings about their relationship. (Although when she tells him in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t want to see him, he does listen to and respect her wishes.) However, in the more recent performances, I appreciated that the first time they become intimate happened a bit more slowly. In the first preview, Pale seemed to kiss her out of nowhere, and only afterwards did he assess her reaction. But now, this entire scene has become more tentative. He sits back and looks at her first, saying a deliberate line about how she’s making him “riled up.” He reaches for her slowly, and waits to see that she remains where she is before he kisses her. (In one performance, he spent a solid 10 seconds just stroking her hair back first.) He then sits back again, looking at her carefully and asking if she’s alright. I loved the scene a lot more this way. His slow, gentle advances were touching, and made it so much clearer just how sincerely Anna reciprocates.

The single most important and potentially uncomfortable question about Pale is whether he might be called a predator taking advantage of Anna’s grief. On paper, I can see the threat. But watching Adam on stage? The thought barely crossed my mind. After seeing how thoroughly and wretchedly he falls apart under the weight of his own grief – The kind of wailing and hiccupping, red-faced crying he does, it doesn’t seem possible that this man is anywhere near calculating. He doesn’t make any advances or comments about her body until the point where they’re seated on the couch together, and Anna has already initiated physical contact by comforting him as he weeps. Sure, on paper one could make the argument that he’s taking advantage of the situation, but with the slower, cautious way the scene is now played, it certainly doesn’t feel that way. Pale doesn’t seem to have any kind of seducing agenda. If he did, breaking down in ugly tears in front of the hot woman certainly wouldn’t help. Instead, their shared grief and discussion about Robbie gradually draws them closer – emotionally, then physically – until they both tumble into intimacy that’s both demanding and healing at the same time.

Looking at the character himself – Is he the archetype of an entitled, hyper-masculine, egotistical man? The type that has blessedly lost appeal as a romantic figure? On the surface, yes, he might seem it. Every other word out of his mouth is a curse. He starts a drunken fistfight with Anna’s boyfriend. He shows up at her place drunk, and is then hard to get rid of. He throws around curse words with Anna when they first meet. He blows from one destructive habit or emotion to the next, without any real thought for how those around him will be affected. He willfully drives Anna and Burton apart. He doesn’t think it worth mentioning to Anna before they sleep together that he’s still technically married. In terms of character traits and temperament – No, he’s not likeable.

Enter the insanely charismatic, improbably empathetic Adam Driver – Who manages to turn the character’s cursing habits into cause for uproarious laughter; Who turns the air silent and reverent when Pale’s character slows to 0 mph for the first time when he kisses Anna; and who plays the character with startlingly endearing moments. (Coyly covering his face with the sleeve of her robe after he interrupts Anna’s phone call with Burton? Kissing her forehead like 5 times when he hands her tea? Clutching her so tightly in the final scene, she is clearly all that matters to him anymore? MY HEART)

One of my favorite things about Adam’s portrayal of Kylo Ren is the complexity of gendered behavior he brings to the role, just as he does for this role. Even while Kylo is physically menacing and unpredictably violent, his eyes tremble with cracked vulnerability and even in still silence, his being radiates crushing conflict and abject pain. Adam plays Pale with the same nuance. Pale is loud, crude, and irreverent. He clearly spends no time thinking ahead about what is ‘correct’ or ‘polite’, he is simply a being of impulse and instinct. But because Adam plays him with such convincing immediacy, he comes off just as honest as he is unrefined. To me, this is Pale’s saving grace. After spending a half hour vacillating between yelling, cursing, screaming, and crying, it seems clear that he is someone moved by emotions and instincts greater than himself – Rather than a person who chose to be disrespectful or rude. The moments when he ingratiates himself in our and Anna’s hearts are when his gentle, tender moments with her are every bit as impactful as his loud, noisy meltdowns. And there is nothing aggressive or intimidating (“manly”) about the way he weeps in front of her. There is something refreshing and moving about such honesty; Such helplessness to hide or restrain the brunt of one’s pain from others. A simplistic gendered reading of their dynamic might accuse him of preying on her from the beginning; But a reading of Adam and Keri’s performance would struggle to find such a gendered binary. After all, Anna doesn’t cry in front of him once. He is the only one of the two of them to be reduced to misery in the other’s presence.

To be clear – This is not a matter of a character being “emotional” denoting the feminine, while loud yelling denotes the masculine. My response to the charge of Pale’s character being toxically hyper-masculine and predatory is simply that this is an ill-fitting characterization, given the assumptions that A) Being ‘predatory’ requires a certain amount of intent, cunning, and callousness – None of which could be attributed to the distraught, sentimental mess of Adam’s Pale who lives only in his immediate force of being; and B) The concept of hyper-masculine “macho”ness denotes a certain one-dimensional understanding of chauvinistic masculinity, which Adam’s Pale defies in its sometimes alarming complexity – Alarming precisely because his breakneck swings from a physicality of violence to one of broken helplessness fly in the face of the gendered expectations one might ascribe to a man of his stature.

(Wow, holy shit did I just write all that for only my first section? Jfc okay, promise I’ll start moving faster! But for the sake of comparison, my original conflicted thoughts about Adam’s Pale after the first preview performance are here.)

Why does Anna have such a lesser presence?

Examining this play from a feminist perspective requires acknowledging how much smaller Anna’s presence is compared to Pale’s. In their first scene together, there are literally stretches where Pale will rant and rave for solid minutes without Anna getting in a single line. No wonder Adam’s performance has dominated reviews. Keri really isn’t given much to work with.

I have two opposite responses to this problem. First – Perhaps the play simply isn’t written with a high regard for its female lead, and makes little effort to develop her character beyond her relationships with the men around her. The more I consider how the play functions, the more it seems to be the case that the men around Anna have all the important, witty dialogue as the ones who set the scenes and move the story along, while Anna is pulled along in their wake.

I realized upon later viewings that what initially seemed to be Burton’s pseudo-artistic ramblings in the first scene actually serve the purpose of establishing the play’s two main themes. The first theme – His idea to write a script about the wives of sailors out to sea, waiting for the men to return, introduces the idea of the search for some ultimate, profound form of love that sustains people through any manner of loss and suffering. (This is what Anna is searching for and what she ultimately finds in her feelings for Pale.) Okay, the very way this theme is introduced – women sitting idle, waiting for the men who are out doing the real work and having the real adventures – is lame. Second, we can’t even have the female character who’s actually trying to undertake this in her character arc narrating her own journey? Why is someone else laying it out for her? And to look at the story as a whole – Why is her fulfillment something she ultimately needs to receive through a man’s involvement? From the beginning, the fact that her resolution is tied to her connection to a man seems flawed.

The second theme is introduced from Burton and Larry’s discussion of the story of Senta and the Flying Dutchman. To make a long story short – Senta sacrifices herself in her great love for the Dutchman in order to “save him from perdition.” While Anna does participate in this conversation, she seems to remain unaware of how this meta dialogue is in fact reflecting her own underlying fear running through the whole play, as well as her greatest danger. The play vocally introduces at its beginning this idea of women sacrificing themselves on the altar of their great loves. (When Anna is retelling her experience at Robbie’s funeral, she indeed recalls how she felt she was expected to throw herself over his casket.) This could imply a number of interpretations. It could reflect Anna’s fear of loving someone again with the same intensity of her love for Robbie – And then suffering the same metaphorical ‘death’ she is experiencing at Robbie’s loss. Or, it could reflect the expectation of an imbalanced male-female relationship where the woman is expected to support and fulfill the man, while defining herself through him to the point of self-erasure. If we simply compare a word count of Pale’s lines against Anna’s lines, the second interpretation doesn’t seem completely far-fetched.

What I love about theatre is the great variability between what a script does and what actors can do with it. This very well could be a script that is completely disparaging to Anna, purposefully placing her in the path of a domineering man whose oversized personality smothers her to the point of losing both her grief and her personhood. However – that is not what Adam does with the script. That is not what this revival production seems to be trying to convey. There’s not much that can be done about the (small) number of lines Anna has; Just like there’s nothing to be done for the fact that she will unavoidably get a bit lost in Pale’s shadow, when he has these hilarious, ludicrous, show-stealing monologues and is played by an actor with such commanding stage presence as Adam.

Nonetheless – Even for all these misgivings, I have a defense for both why the script pays her less attention, and how the current production and Keri have done their best to move Anna more into the spotlight. Keri has an incredible portrayal of body language, and is often actively expressing her character’s experience even when she doesn’t have lines. For instance, when Pale first enters the apartment and spends the first ten minutes circling the room and bitching about parking, Keri keeps circling opposite from him. Her arms are crossed, and she keeps pointedly placing distance between them. When he moves towards her, she rotates away. Even though she speaks a lot less than him in this scene, her body language nonetheless clearly articulates when she begins to be moved by his suffering, and when she gradually stops distrusting him. By the time they’re sitting together on the couch and she’s embracing him as he weeps, she is physically open to him in a way she never is with any of the other characters. When she’s sitting with Burton on that same couch in other scenes, she shows in her stiff physicality that she does not feel as at ease with him, and does not trust him the same way. She always places herself opposite Burton, and keeps her legs folded between them and her torso often leaned away from him. While many reviewers said Keri’s acting seems to better fit the medium of television rather than theater, where small-scale nuance often gets lost, I found her acting through body language highly effective.

My other defense for why I’m not totally convinced of the sexism of the original material is that this really does seem to be Anna’s story. She is the character most often present, on stage for almost every scene. Yes, the main action of the story is Anna and Pale’s relationship, but the telling of that story stays more closely centered on Anna’s perspective. Even though Burton and Larry are the ones who articulate the play’s structural themes at the beginning, it is Anna’s experience and hardship at Robbie’s funeral that opens and frames the play. She is the character we get to know first. And following on that – perhaps the play is then meant to progress through her eyes, meaning the audience becomes her proxy, and hence why there might be fewer lines necessary to understand her experience.

What I mean by the audience becoming her proxy is that the play is framed in such a way that the audience’s experience watching the play closely mirrors Anna’s experience in the play. When Pale is being played by an actor that succeeds in making him empathetic to the audience, then the audience travels through the same progression as Anna in its evolving understanding of and connection to Pale’s character. The audience feels the same conflict of discomfort and attraction, the more time Anna spends with him. Anna doesn’t need lines to explain her misgivings about becoming involved with him – They’re already completely clear. And when Anna breaks off the relationship and Pale leaves – The audience feels much the same way Anna does and expresses to Larry: Relieved but “like shit.”

There is also the fact that although Anna is given less voice, her presence is, in a way, much stronger and put-together than Pale’s. Even though he is louder and more attention-grabbing, she is the one in control of their dynamic. She is the one usually looking after and comforting him, trying to manage him, and so long as their first kissing scene is played in the new, more tentative way where he waits for her response, she is the one defining the terms of their relationship. Though she connects with Pale because she is suffering just as much as he is, she is unquestionably the more stoic of them both, with a subtle inner strength she does not need Pale to bestow upon her - only to remind her of.

Is this a story of romance or disaster?

NOW finally – Is this really a story about romance? Or an explosive disaster doomed to fail? In my first post after seeing the first preview of the play, I described Anna and Pale as “star-crossed lovers” – in the proper, tragic sense.

(“Whatever is between them should not exist. Whatever is between them threatens them both. Whatever is between them is not long for this world, and doesn’t belong in it. (…) They are polar opposite people - Sharing no visible common interests and with temperaments that couldn’t be more opposite.”)

It’s certainly difficult to envision these two in a stable, long-term relationship. Most likely, they’ll continue on as they are – Finding their way to each other in explosive bursts, then attempting to disentangle before they’re drawn back together. A woman like Anna, sensible and talented, seems far too levelheaded to fall for a temperamental firebrand like Pale. So what attracts her to Pale in a way she isn’t attracted to Burton? Why does she find more fulfillment with him, when she finds no stability?

Pale both challenges and needs her in a way Burton does not. Burton comes from a rich kid background, who never really had to fight for anything and admits himself that he’s never really felt loss in his life. Anna and Burton work well in the sense of their lives and interests aligning together, but Burton never gives the impression of needing Anna in any true sense. Not the way Pale does – when he entreats her not to go when they’re sitting together on the couch, or when he comes to her in his most pathetic, broken state. She is the only one who knew Robbie deeply and can share Pale’s crushing sense of loss, and as such is the only one who can provide him the solace he so desperately needs. There is nothing Burton needs from Anna, or relies on her for with such urgency. As discussed in the first section, Pale also gives Anna something in return. It may not be what she knew she needed, but he forces her to confront the true brunt of her grief, and look at herself honestly rather than hiding from her pain. She shies away from this at first, and tries to avoid caring for someone again as deeply as she did for Robbie. (He accuses: “You’re afraid you’ll get interested. Afraid you’ll feel something.” She objects: “I feel, Pale!”) At this point in her life, this type of burgeoning attachment to someone new is not something she wants or feels equipped to deal with. She thinks she wants to end things with Pale and does so, but after he leaves, she’s faced with the rising realization of how much she doesn’t want him gone. Her following dialogue with Larry is some of the most intriguing: “I’m sick of the age we live in.” “What, you’d rather be pillaged and raped?” “I am being pillaged, and I am being raped!” Sensible, put-together, talented Anna has no place in her life and in her career for this type of affair. She has no patience for it, and is frustrated with herself for wanting it despite how much of a terrible idea it is, and how little she thinks she likes Pale as a person. She’s fighting her feelings for him, and she hates that they’re winning. But the fact remains – His need for her and the way he has bared himself to the soul has left its mark on her heart. No one else has ever been so honest with her. Just as it seemed to both pain and soothe her when she told Pale he reminded her of Robbie; It both fulfills and distresses her to grow closer to him. No matter how they get there, the urgency with which they fall into each other’s arms and cling to one another in the final scene is unquestionably one of the play’s most heartfelt and powerful moments. They may not be the type of couple that lasts forever, but this isn’t that kind of story. It is the story of two people attempting to navigate profound grief, and only through finding each other do they find their way free.

My last comment on this question is that I’ve had different impressions of the depth of their feelings for each other in different performances. In one performance (4/16), the cast seemed to be playing up the comedy so much that the two moments I had remembered as most touching and intimate between Pale and Anna became drowned out. The first was what Pale says to her between kisses, the first time they become intimate:

“Let’s just start up the engines real slow here … maybe go halfway to the city and stop for somethin’ to eat … You talk to me, okay? … You’re gonna find out there’s times … I’m a real good listener.”

This is nothing short of brilliantly written dialogue, because the first time I heard it, I didn’t even realize the sexual innuendo. In the first preview, the lines were delivered so gently and sincerely, there was no laughter at all. It was a moment where Pale seemed to be promising her that this was meaningful – That he wanted to be there for her in more ways than just the physical. Instead of a metaphor for sexual acts, it sounded like “Before we go all the way… I want you to know I’m here for you. What we’re starting is bigger than just this.” It was a palpable, tender moment of connection.

The second time I saw the performance was when the audience caught the metaphor and the moment became comic. I’m not sure what exactly Adam did differently (I think he was kissing her during the ellipses, rather than pulling back and saying the whole line in one heartfelt go), but the moment was completely different. Yes, it’s actually hilarious dialogue and brilliant because it can be delivered in such different ways, but I couldn’t help feeling that a central moment of emotional intimacy was lost.

The second moment is in the final scene, when they’re reunited for the first time in weeks. In the first preview, I think they were sitting together when Anna said in a helpless voice, “I don’t want this.” Pale looked at her and responded, “I don’t want it too.” The moment was mournful and touching, because the way they were looking at each other made it clearly inevitable that their personal wills would have no say in the matter. No matter how much they might not want this – no matter the fact that they both know they’re not good for each other – they know they’re being pulled together by forces greater than themselves.

In later performances, the blocking was changed so they’re saying these lines between kissing. This made the comments comedic rather than tragic, because obviously it’s hard to believe he “doesn’t want it too” when he’s enthusiastically kissing her back.

In my personal opinion, this shift towards the more comedic made the whole thing a little less impactful, since to me, the most compelling element of the play the first time was the beautifully tragic nature of that final scene. My friend was reduced to tears during it. The play is funnier now rather than bittersweet and Adam is uproariously hilarious, but I think what makes this play unique and most powerful is the fated/tragic nature of Anna and Pale’s relationship. Rather than a romping “oh yeah, they know it’s a bad idea but they’re falling into bed together anyway” – The beautiful writing and the exchanges between these two characters really can elevate the story to the level of the profound.

Well. Apparently I had much more to say about this play than I realized! I hope one or two people out there found themselves as interested by it and Adam and Keri’s performances as I did. Thank you kindly if you actually read through that entire rambling mess!! And please, if you have any thoughts at all about anything I wrote above or any other element of the play, I would really love to hear! :D

#Adam Driver #Burn This #Broadway #Keri Russell #Lanford Wilson #Burn This Broadway

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calzona-ga · 5 years

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The actress talks with The Hollywood Reporter about Amelia's journey and how her long-awaited family reunion will impact the character going forward.

[This story contains spoilers from Thursday's Grey's Anatomy, "Good Shepherd."]

ABC's Grey's Anatomy opened up Amelia Shepherd's world in Thursday's bottle episode, which featured the long-awaited introduction of the fourth Shepherd sister — played by guest star Amy Acker.

The sibling reunion occurred after Amelia (Caterina Scorsone) and Link (Chris Carmack) flew to New York for a surgery and bumped into Nancy Shepherd (returning guest star Embeth Davidtz), who invited the duo over for dinner. The only catch being that Amelia never informed her family of her divorce from Owen (Kevin McKidd) — or her brain tumor, foster kid Betty or Owen's adopted son Leo, among other details.

The meal turns ugly when Amelia's mother Carolyn (returning guest star Tyne Daly) crashes the dinner and instantly remembers having met the real Owen (Kevin McKidd) when she visited son Derek (former star Patrick Dempsey) years ago in Seattle. The estranged siblings have at Amelia, recalling all the ways in which she screwed up her life and the (many) mistakes she made.

After Link — her current love interest — comes to her defense, Amelia reveals her frustrations that her sisters (and mother) only see her as the screw-up and "Black Sheep Shepherd," her childhood nickname. This is why none of her siblings or mother wanted to come to her wedding to Owen.

In typical Grey's fashion, Amelia and Link's patient — and his brother — provide a lesson for Amelia, who makes a bold surgical choice that ultimately gives a college-bound student a new lease on life. But it comes at a cost as Link pulls away from Amelia, whom he accuses of being reckless and making a risky decision because she needed to prove her family wrong.

The hour closes as Amelia and her mother have a heart to heart in which Amelia realizes that she sabotages her own relationships and doesn't know how to love. What's more, her mother fills in some gaps from Amelia's Private Practice backstory when she reveals that the youngest of the Shepherd siblings is the most like her father — whom loyal Grey's viewers recall was murdered before Derek and Amelia. Carolyn's biggest regret, she says, is not being there for Amelia.

Amelia comes away from the conversation with an understanding that she doesn't need her family's approval — she already has it in sisters-from-other-misters Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and Maggie (Kelly McCreary) — and that it's up to her to realize she's worthy of love.

Below, star Scorsone talks with The Hollywood Reporter about the Amelia stand-alone episode and romantic future with Link (who apparently can be easily won over with a box of doughnuts from his favorite favorite spot in New York).

Amelia is having quite an emotional journey this season: reconciling with Owen, fostering Betty and Leo and learning of Teddy's pregnancy. Then losing her kids and splitting with Owen. What's been your biggest takeaway about Amelia this season? We've seen Amelia be unbelievably resilient. She must be made of some sort of rubber because she seems to bounce! [Laughs.] One of the really nice things I've been able to play this season is some of the lightness, fun and humor that we got to see on [Grey's spinoff] Private Practice a lot more. She's got this wry life is crazy and is finding the joy amid all of the chaos. That's been really fun to do.

Amelia's mother helps her understand that she sabotages relationships and doesn't think she's worthy of love. What made her come to that realization? There were a few hits a couple episodes ago when Owen and Amelia were at the lawyer's office talking about who would halve custody of Leo. Owen said something like, "You're just not capable of love." It was a knife to Amelia's heart and she was so devastated by it — especially after being so patient, amazing, loving and supportive of Owen and Leo all season long, and trying to be so patient with the Teddy situation. That was quite a quagmire! [Laughs.] That was really hard for her to hear. Then having her sisters confront her over and over again and seeing how she wasn't really connecting with Link even though he was being so charming, accommodating and lovely. Amelia was trying to keep him at bay emotionally. She's had enough clues that maybe there's something in her psyche that she's not been willing to look at.

Amelia's mother, despite all the twisting roads that Amelia has gone down, was courageous and generous to really face and admit to her part in the broken attachment Amelia had as a child. She endured a terrible trauma at age 5 when saw her father murdered in front of her. Then her mom says, "Listen, I'm sorry I wasn't able to be the kind of psychological container that you needed at that age to move through that trauma in a way that would leave your ability to connect intact." She really takes responsibility for her part in Amelia's early relationship with attachment and love. And then also says, "And I believe that you're smart, strong and brave enough that now that you have this last piece of the puzzle that I've given you, that you can put it all together and move forward and have beautiful relationships. That's on you." She hands baton back to Amelia, now with the final piece in place, and says, "I'm giving it back to you; you now understand your childhood. You can do the work and can have love."

This episode really filled in some gaps with Amelia's family and why she's not close with them. How will the dinner from hell and conversation with her mother help fuel what we see next from Amelia? I do feel like there was an incredible healing and closure at two points in this episode. First, in that moment where she was able to tell her sisters that, as opposed to try and earn her sisters' approval, finally, after seeing how relentless they were to her at the dinner table and that they just weren't willing or able to see that Amelia had become a pretty wonderful person in adulthood — she's a neurosurgeon, she gives back to her community, she has relationships, she loves children. She does all these wonderful things and her sisters weren't willing to allow their narrative about her to change. Amelia accepts that finally and stops trying. At the door when she's leaving, she says, "I believe you that you love me but you don't like me and I don't really like you, either." She allows that to be OK for herself. She can love her family but if every time she's near them, they tell a story about her in their own minds that that traps her in an identity that doesn't match up with who she is today, she does have permission to not expose herself to that kind of judgment. She can go create family where she finds love: in Seattle with Meredith, Maggie and the people she has surrounded herself with — her chosen family. That was a huge moment for her. And the healing that was given to her by her mother at the end and the apology and the piece of the story that she was missing. And the reconciliation with her mother. I think it's going to free Amelia's psychological bandwidth up a lot. We'll see how that goes. She is letting go of the old story of Amelia as the black sheep and she was able to leave it in New York. Now we'll see next season what the new story is.

Amelia and Link reconcile on the plane. Amelia now has this liberation and missing piece of the puzzle. What will she do with that awareness now? Will Link or Owen be a part of that? That I don't know. The writers are starting to break story for next year right now. All the irons are in the fire trying to think about where it goes next year. All I know is that they don't know anything yet! I'm trying to stay open. Chris Carmack is very talented and we've had some great comedic scenes that have been really fun to play. And Kevin and I are best friends and love working together. So whatever direction they decide to go in, I'm in a pretty great position as an actor.

If you're writing Amelia's next act and had the choice between Link or Owen, who do you see her with? I can't possibly answer that! There are such good things about both of them. The nice thing is that Grey's is doing so well that I feel like we are going to get to play out whatever we want to play out. And if we love it we go with it. And if it's not working, we can go in another direction. We have time to play all those stories we want to play because our fans are so gorgeous and passionate. Knock on wood, hopefully we get to see all of the stories that we want.

How would you describe the season finale? It's a Grey's Anatomy season finale! Debbie Allen is directing. There's some fun, big stuff happening. It'll be funny and it'll be delightful and there will be catharsis. Classic Grey's.

For a season that was dubbed — and delivered — the "Season of Love," is the finale a fitting end for that? Yeah, I think so. Love in all its forms.

#grey's anatomy #Amelia Shepherd #15x21 #Caterina Scorsone #sccop #15x25

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thelifeofhayleymarie · 5 years

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18/01/2019: Closing a chapter of my life

This is a post I’ve been dreading to write. Just a warning too, its going to be very, very long. This will also unfortunately be my last post on this account.

5 weeks and 1 day. That’s how long its been since everything changed, since L ended things with me, and I’ve been trying my hardest to make sense of it all. I’ve been trying my best to find the words to be able to write this post, but I’ve really struggled. All I’m going to start off with is that my heart is absolutely, completely and utterly broken.

This is not how I imagined things would be. This is not how I wanted to end the distance. I imagined us together in our own house, with a couple of dogs, happy and inlove... not like this. Never in a million years did I think we’d end up like this, not with how inlove I was with him. It still doesn’t feel real. When you give someone all of you, love them harder than anything else you’ve ever loved in your life, you never expect them to tell you that they don’t want it anymore. That it’s not enough for them. It’s so hard to accept; its just unfathomable really. I wanted to marry him. I was willing to move across the country for this boy. I was so ready, and so excited. It’s just disappointing. I feel like I sacrificed so much for him. Put his needs before my own. Accepted the heartbreaking challenge of doing long distance without getting a choice in the matter. Supported him in going out and achieving his dreams while I waited here for him. And for what? Him to turn around and say he’s changed his mind and that he doesn’t feel the same anymore? That he doesn’t have the passion for the relationship and that he loves me but he’s not inlove with me now? This whole thing has left me devastatingly broken. And it hurts, my god does it hurt...

It’s been extremely hard and confusing for me to understand too. December 8th he told me that I’m the love of his life and that he can’t wait to come home to me, then on December 13th, only 5 days later… he told me he couldn’t do this anymore. It was absolutely soul shattering to hear those words. Especially because we hadn’t been fighting or anything. I thought we had been perfectly fine, he made me believe that we were doing better. He even texted me that morning saying that he loves me. Then later that night he completely pulled the rug out from under me.

He messaged me that Thursday night saying he wasn’t doing very well mentally and that he needs to talk to me. Me being me I dropped everything and called him immediately, desperately wanting to help him and understand why he was feeling this way. He wouldn’t completely tell me the truth behind it until I kept asking questions. When I asked him if he could think of one thing that makes him happier than anything else in the world, and he answered saying he’s happiest when being on holiday at the lake… my stomach dropped and I immediately knew what was going on; because he didn’t say he was happiest when he was with me. This lead into me asking a whole bunch of other questions where I discovered that he had been apparently feeling miserable for months because he doesn’t think he wants to be with me anymore, because he feels like he’s changed, we’ve changed. This phone call was 3 hours long, yet I couldn’t grasp what was going on. I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. I was a mess after that phone call. I knew deep in my heart there was no coming back from that. I knew what he wanted, and it completely broke me. My best friend and my brother had to come and physically restrain me because of how inconsolable I was. I felt like my whole world was ending, especially because of how blindsided I felt. Eventually my mum had to literally medicate me to make me calm down. My heart couldn’t take it. I think I slept for 2 whole days after that.

Even though I knew it was over, a couple days later I had a very weak moment and called him and basically begged for him to just keep trying, at least until he comes home and we see each other (which was only a week away… I’d been looking forward to it for ages. I hadn’t seen him in 2 months... he was coming home for christmas on the 20th of december). But my god, it felt so degrading. No one should ever have to beg someone to not give up on them, or to try harder or love them back. I never wanted to stoop that low but I was in shock and I was desperate. And to my utter dismay- he said no. He didn’t want to try anymore. He said he’s been trying for months and it still just doesn’t feel right. This outraged me because 1, he hadn’t been completely honest and open with me about how he was feeling this way and 2, giving someone the bare minimum is NOT ‘trying’. He stopped meeting my needs a long time ago and I was too blinded by love to understand this. I deserved so much better than that. I deserve someone whose sure about me 100% of the time. I deserve someone whose consistent with their love and effort, which he very much lacked on and off throughout our whole relationship. His words rarely matched up to his actions. One day he’d say he loves me more than life itself and that he wants to marry me, the next he would hardly even speak to me. Complete head fuck right? But I stuck around because I loved him. Maybe that’s my own fault.

He was messaging me every day after that phone call- I don’t really know why, I think the guilt from hurting me was eating him up inside to be honest- but I just couldn’t reply to his messages. I needed space. I needed time to let it all sink in and to be able to reflect on it all. I eventually messaged him and asked him to give me the respect of ending things in person, where I can ask questions, get closure and say goodbye. He agreed and wanted that too. It’s so painful having to say goodbye to someone you wanted forever with. But I did it. I went over to his house a couple days after he arrived home and I got say my peace and get the closure I needed. And although I am hesitant to say, I also did end up seeing him a couple more times before he flew back home - alcohol and a broken heart dont mix well folks, trust me - but I surprisingly found that it didnt make things worse for me, because I had already accepted that this break up is probably for the best... dont get me wrong it was sad, and confusing but it was also nice to just be together, talk and take our time to say goodbye; our last goodbye, and the hardest one of all. It was especially hard seeing him cry along with me at the thought of it being the last time. But as I had time to reflect on it all leading up to seeing him each time, I came to the conclusion that this was for the best, and I told him that too. I knew I wasn’t being treated right, I knew I deserved better, I knew the distance had gotten to us too much, and I knew we both weren’t happy. But it was nice to end things on a good note and say goodbye in our own way.

During the past month I have rediscovered my worth and realized that I have so, so, SO much love to give, and if he doesn’t want it, then thats truely his loss. I put him on a pedestal for the longest time and forgot about myself through it all. I haven’t been fair to myself. So now, I think its time I put myself first- in every aspect of my life, not just through the break up. I’m going to try my best to leave all heartache in 2018, and begin to focus on my self worth, growth and all things positive in 2019.

As much as this hurts and as much as it killed me to do long distance this past year, I really have no regrets. I gave 110% of myself to this relationship and to L. I put my heart and soul on the line for someone I love and I think that’s something to be proud of- it’s actually admirable I think. Like a friend recently told me, I let someone know how it felt to be loved by me, and that’s beautiful. I love so damn hard too, and I deserve to get the same love back. Consistently. I also just want to make note that as much as this has hurt me, I don’t and will never wish ill upon him at all. I really just want him to be happy, and if that means not being with me anymore then so be it. I don’t think of him as a bad person- just someone whose young, and isn’t sure about what he wants. I’ve also realized that I can’t hate him for feeling a certain way. I don’t want to. That wouldn’t be fair. At the end of the day, as much as I tried to hold on, I think I always knew it wasn’t meant to be. There’s been too much hurt in the past, and the relationship was damaged from early on from certain things I think. The distance was also really, really difficult for both of us too; even though I felt like I could deal with it because I believed it would be worth it in the end, I guess he just couldn’t handle it, and that’s fair enough. Being away from the person you love constantly changes you. Its heart breaking. I’ll always love the person he is, and forever cherish every amazing memory we ever shared. Our love was epic. The past 2/3 years have been some of the happiest moments of my life- despite it being a rollercoaster at times. And I owe a lot to Luke and will always respect him. I just know now that maybe we’re not meant to be, and that’s ok. As hard as it is to accept that it’s over, and that i’ll never see him again (that part tears me up inside ugh), I’ll always remember him as my first love, and I’ll always appreciate the beautiful times we had together. I still love him, I think I always will, but I’m a big believer in everything happens for a reason, and I know I’ll be stronger from this.

I just want to also say a big thank you to everyone who has gone on this journey with me, for all the love and support and advice shared. It’s helped more than you know. I don’t think I would’ve made it this far without you guys. I’m going to miss being apart of this beautiful little community of long distance and military couples. Even though it didn’t work out for me, I still believe long distance can work and that those who are willing to make it work, no matter the struggles, are some of the strongest and most noblest people around. But just remember, if you’re giving more than you’re getting, if you’re beginning to question your worth, if you’re crying more than you are happy, if you’re the only one holding on and trying to make it work, then you need to be honest and fair to yourself and understand that you deserve so, so much better- and you will find that one day, I promise. A part of me wishes I had’ve realised sooner.

I’m closing a chapter of my life, only to begin a new one. I hope 2019 blesses all of you. Best of luck with everything, I really am rooting for you all!

(I’m also not going to delete this blog. It holds way too many incredible memories and posts of happier times that I would like to look back on in years to come. And although it makes me sad now, I just think its so special and it may also be able to help others to read. But, like I said earlier, this will unfortunately be my last post...

If you’d like to contact me in anyway from now on I will be using my main blog more regularly. You can find me at:

http://tr-anspar-ent.tumblr.com/)

Stay strong, keep fighting through the distance and for the ones you love. Always remember you’re not alone.

Love always,

Hayley x

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