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gellavonhamster · 5 months

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near dark (1987) but make it asoue

@carnivorous-horses-lover first of all, thank you for enabling me

Secondly, imagine, if you will, a small-town young man who works at his stepfather's farm. The young man's name is Fernald, and his life is pretty miserable - his attempt at an acting career in the City failed, forcing him to return to his hometown, and now he's stuck in a routine he doesn't enjoy. His relationship with his stepfather Widdershins isn't great - in part, probably, because his stepfather is a pretty miserable man too, a former sea captain now bound to live on land after sustaining injuries that made him unfit for life at sea. Nearly the only bright spot for Fernald is his teenage sister, Fiona - she's talented and smart, and surely won't become a failure like him.

One evening, as Fernald is getting drunk at the bar after a particularly angry row with his stepfather, he meets a cute and charming person called Orlando (I think this name would fit in fine in this AU - iirc, Sunny refers to the Henchperson like that at some point either in the books or in the series, and Virginia Woolf's Orlando is able to live for centuries without growing old). They hit it off right away, and damn, this might be the drink talking, but Fernald feels like he's falling in love. At the end of the night, just before sunrise, as Orlando is about to leave, he kisses them.

And then Orlando bites him. Bites him and sucks his blood.

After that, Orlando runs away without explanation, so at first, Fernald doesn't understand what has happened to him. But then the rising sun starts burning his flesh. As he's trying to hide in the shade, an RV drives up, and Orlando pulls him in. Inside, he finds a group of people all screaming at Orlando that they should kill Fernald, but then Orlando tells them that they've already turned him, and, after some discussion, the strangers inform him that they'll let him live - for now. Fernald learns that his new acquaintances are a band of vampires who roam the Land of Districts under the guise of a travelling acting troupe. The band is led by Count Olaf, a man claiming to have been an 18th century nobleman. Apart from him and Orlando, there's Olaf's girlfriend Esme, a Bald Man, two White-Faced Women, and Carmelita, a tween girl recently turned by Esme when the latter decided she wanted a daughter. They travel from town to town, kill people to feed, and occasionally steal a new vehicle and burn the old one to cover up their tracks.

The Count and the others tell Fernald that they're going to give him a probational period of sorts - he gets a week to learn to hunt, and if he doesn't, they're going to get rid of him. The problem is, Fernald can't make himself kill people. His thirst is strong and he can feel his organism starting to reject human food, but he cannot overcome his fear and disgust. Orlando helps him by hunting for him and feeding him their blood after they have fed themselves, but they tell him this cannot go on, and Fernald knows that eventually he has either to become a murderer or be murdered. In the Village of Fowl Devotees, where the vampires attack a bar, he fails to kill a local handyman and lets him escape. Everyone but Orlando is furious and wants to kill him, but then the police arrive, and Fernald risks his life to help the rest of the group escape. This pacifies the vampires, and they decide to give him more time to adjust.

Meanwhile, Widdershins and Fiona follow the trail of the vampires' rampage from town to town, hoping to catch up with Fernald and see if he can still be saved. They meet the handyman, Hector, who has seen which direction the vampires drove off to. After driving all day, they decide to stay at a motel, not knowing that Olaf's troupe is also staying there. At some point, while Widdershins isn't present, Fiona goes out of their room and runs into Carmelita. They strike a conversation, and Carmelita, happy to finally have someone her age to talk to, invites Fiona to their room. When Fiona sees her brother, she is overjoyed, but he immediately gets worried and tells her to leave. It is, however, too late: Carmelita wants a friend, and even though Olaf hates the idea, Esme is still fond enough of her toy - pardon, her child - to indulge her whims.

Luckily, Widdershins arrives and threatens the vampires with a gun. A scuffle ensures, and the whole family, including Fernald, manages to escape. For some reason, Widdershins is sure that a blood transfusion might help Fernald revert to human state. They try it, and it works.

The family returns home and wards the house against vampires ("but Stepfather, how do you even know all these things?" - "don't worry about it"), yet it turns out they've been followed. At night, Orlando comes and persuades Fernald to go out and talk to them. They try to convince Fernald to let them bite him again and go back with them, but eventually, unable to lie anymore, they break down and reveal that the other vampires made them distract him. Turns out that while they were talking, Olaf's troupe somehow broke through the protection of the house. Fernald discovers that his stepfather is grievously wounded and his sister is gone. Widdershins tells him that the vampires took Fiona away and urges Fernald to follow them. Fernald calls the ambulance for his stepfather and leaves to chase the troupe, who have by then picked up Orlando and driven away. He is attacked by the Bald Man and the White-Faced Women, but manages to defeat them.

Orlando, who is genuinely in love with Fernald, decides to risk incurring Olaf and Esme's wrath and help Fiona escape. Together they break out of the car and run towards Fernald. The sun is rising, and Orlando has to cover themselves with a jacket, because the sun keeps burning them. Furious Olaf and Esme, with Carmelita in the backseat, pursue them and attempt to run them over with their car. Fernald manages to push Fiona and Orlando away, but the car crashes into him, and he passes out.

He regains consciousness in the same small - and, honestly, shady-looking - hospital where his blood transfusion was performed. He is aching all over, and one of his hands has been amputated, but he's alive. Fiona is there, and so is his father, bruised but still standing - and Orlando, who has also been cured by a blood transfusion. Another person present, strangely, is the handyman from the Village of Fowl Devotees. He tells them that the car with the vampires exploded in the crash, but no human remains were found when the fire was extinguished. Perhaps they burned to ashes completely. Perhaps not.

Okay, says Fernald, what the hell. Why are you here? How did Stepfather know that the blood transfusions would help? What kind of hospital is this?

Widdershins and Hector share an awkward glance.

There used to be an... organization some years ago, they tell him. An organization created to battle supernatural threats. It was founded long ago by people privy to the secrets of the world. But it has been dying out for decades, and their generation was the last. Too many died, too many quit out of fear (Hector looks away, embarrassed), too many were seduced by the occult and joined the other side. But the few still remain - the ones who don't seek out the enemy actively, but still remember how to fight against it.

They call themselves volunteers.

And it seems no one can hide from what one is forever.

#the ending is kinda... nothing of that sort happens in the movie but i wanted this to have its own version of vfd #and it could probably be integrated more smoothly but i can't think of anything better at the moment #anyway! near dark! a good vampire road movie. highly recommend #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #fernald widdershins #captain widdershins #fiona widdershins #hector #henchperson of indeterminate gender #count olaf #esme squalor #carmelita spats #gella talks snicketverse #talk talk talk #snicketverse

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afterthegreatunknown · 5 months

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Tegan is Seventeen, But is No Dancing Queen

Hi! Welcome to the fourth 'chapter' of my Seven Six Widdershins Family Members AU. Inspired by the Six Baudelaire AU by unfortunate-stranger-losers, in this AU, the Book!Widdershins Family and Netflix!Widdershins Family are now combined together to make a family of six. This 'chapter' finally introduces the rest of the Widdershins Family that are the two Captain Widdershins and their respective stepdaughters.

But before getting to them, let's focus on others. After surviving Hurricane Herman, the Baudelaires evade the authorities that is Mr. Poe and the police, making it to Captain Sham’s Sailboat Rental. Violet stakes out the area, and sees none of Olaf’s associates.

She then goes on her tiptoes to look through the window. There she sees a set of keys hanging on the wall, with no one around. The siblings then sneak in, and they steal the keys, with Klaus opening up the shack where all the boats are locked up, so they can steal a boat to go rescue their Aunt Josephine.

Unknown to the Baudelaires, that was the main room. There is now a makeshift back room. Verne and Harper —the accomplices this time— are inside there playing Roland’s Folly, which is like Bullshit and Go Fish, blind to everything above.

By the way, due to being unable to make 'align center', as well as proper breaks in HTML in the new editor, when you see [] brackets with ramblings inside them, it's indicating a section change.

“I can’t believe I lost again,” said Harper, throwing their remaining cards onto the pile. Harper then tossed their third-favorite scarf in Verne’s direction. Soon, they collected the card pile, and neatly put them back into a stack to reshuffle them. “Next time you ask me to play Roland’s Folly, know I’ll say no.”

“You’re just a sore loser,” said Verne, setting the scarf down beside him.

“Maybe so. But your constant asking of me and the others to play this game —not to mention other things— has me wondering if you’re bored of being part of the troupe” Harper then placed one card in the middle facing upward; it’s the Joker card. “Are you bored of the troupe? I can’t recall the last time you took joy in making costumes.”

Verne said nothing as Harper dealt him six cards, and then themself six cards, before placing the deck of cards downward in the middle beside the upright facing card. Then, Verne said, “I wouldn’t say I’m bored. I’m just…not satisfy with my career choice anymore. Sure, it was fun at the beginning, but now it feels like a drag. And now, with the boss making us do his schemes on top of being a troupe…I’m feeling slightly tired.”

“Then why don’t you leave?” asked Harper. “Olaf had plenty of troupe members leaving. I don’t think he would care if you split, provided you do it at night and leave a note.”

“Now that, I can’t do. Isn’t it obvious? I’m staying for someone who’s important to me.”

“Sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of another, that’s nice.” Harper briefly smiled as they picked up their cards. The smile soon vanished in seconds, and they quickly drop their cards, slamming their hands onto the table.

“You’re staying for Olaf!?” Harper’s eyes are wide and bug-like.

Verne sputtered nonsense of words before finally getting out, “What?! No!!!”

[Netflix ASOUE's decision to give Fernald a crush on Olaf is still something I go '???' at to this day.]

Neither of them realizes the Baudelaires took the keys in the main room until Harper leaves mid-way in the third round, returning back in a panic to see the key is missing. The two go outside, and discover the shack’s lock is on the ground, as well as a boat being missing. Verne informs Captain Sham, and get ordered to get the getaway car ready. And Verne and Harper wait in the car, pulling up just in time for Sunny to bite off the peg leg, revealing Captain Sham as Olaf. The three soon zoom away, with the Baudelaires deciding to hitchhike a ride and zoom off elsewhere away from Mr. Poe.

While all the latter half events of The Wide Window are happening —maybe slightly before it— on the Queequeg are Widdershins and Fiona. Fiona is eating sunny-side eggs and rice her stepfather made for breakfast, for he’s playing chef. The organization has yet answered back Widdershins’ request of another crew member. He’s been asking for another crew member for almost two years, since the woman who turned out to be a spy left after impromptu round of hide-and-seek to catch her.

Widdershins is humming a song while doing the dishes, and he just placed the last plate onto the drying rack. He wipes his hands onto one of the nearby towels, and goes back to the control room to check on the radar. He sees everything is fine, and then hears the sound of the Volunteer Factual Dispatch receiving a telegram.

Widdershins is surprised to get one, for lately, he hasn’t been getting them as frequent as before. He suspected the spy had something to do with it, but he’s not sure. He ought to get that checked out by someone who isn’t Fiona. Widdershins as such, was excited to get the dispatch…until he saw the sender’s name: Captain Ephraim Widdershins, captain of the Submarine Nautilus, aka, Father.

Ephraim’s telegram: ‘Pardon the sudden intrusion of your patrol of Lake Lachrymose STOP. As Tegan’s 17th birthday is coming up, I would like it if it would be held on the Submarine Queequeg STOP. Tegan hasn’t seen Fiona —and you— in two years, and I would like to rectify this STOP. It’s good for family to see one another, V, and for family to talk to one another STOP. We’ll see you in roughly eleven hours STOP.’

As with any person who hasn’t seen family in a while, Widdershins takes the news well.

Widdershins, crumples and throws the dispatch away: “...”

Widdershins, storming back into the kitchen: “Fiona! Stop eating breakfast! Stop reading Herman Melville! Stop reading your fungi books! Get out your cleaning bandana! Aye! Get out the very fancy dishes! Your step-grandfather and Tegan are going to have her seventeenth birthday here! Aye! I can’t handle another complain of the Queequeg being a dump in compare to the Nautilus! I just can’t!”

*Widdershins leaves the kitchen to go to a nearby closet, opening it to reveal many cleaning supplies and tools neatly organize. He grabs two tabard cleaning aprons*

Widdershins: “You know how we need to make your step-grandfather and step-aunt comfortable while away from their home.”

Fiona, taking one of the tabard cleaning aprons, and begins to tie it around herself: “But Stepfather, when are they ever comfortable here?”

Widdershins: “Exactly.”

The Queequeg is decently clean before Ephraim and Tegan’s arrival, which allowed Widdershins to make fish fillets with a sauce and greens for dinner, a dessert of rice pudding, and decorations of balloons. When Ephraim and Tegan finally arrived, Widdershins offered his father a handshake. However, Ephraim doesn’t take notice of it (maybe.). He also doesn’t speak to Widdershins, only giving him a nod.

With Fiona guiding her step-grandfather to the control room (and kitchen), Tegan lags behind. She’s the only one to notice of Widdershins’ sniffling. She turns around, and walks backward. Widdershins’ back is turn against her, but Tegan sees/hears her step-brother slapping his face with two hands, and clearing his throat.

Widdershins: “C’mon on now, V. Pull yourself together. Aye. No one needs to see you cry over something so unimportant. Aye, especially when it involves your own father. God only knows what he’ll say to your face again.”

Tegan quickly turns back around, and hears her step-brother’s footsteps following after her. The two have a short, simple discussing about the condition of the Nautilus, for Widdershins is curious on why her birthday party is being held on the Queequeg.

Tegan, shrugging her shoulders: “You know how our old man is, V. He just does what he wants without any hesitation.”

Widdershins: “Aye. I do. I sure do…”

The four soon have diner. Widdershins and Ephraim finish their dinner first, and go the control room for a quiet discussion (and it’s actually quiet to where eavesdropping is impossible). Tegan and Fiona have a discussion on their own at the kitchen table.

[I refuse to give out my headcanon name for Book!Widdershins until I make a proper headcanon post or reveal it in a fanfic.]

Tegan continued to sit across the table from the younger girl in the blue navy uniform and similarly shape triangle glasses. Tegan cleared her throat, and set her fork down on the empty plate. Tegan had been preparing herself for this moment eleven hours ago. Hopefully, unlike V’s first two-years interaction with Stepfather, this will go smoother.

“Niece Fiona,” said Tegan, leaning back against the chair. “I see you grown a few inches since we last saw each other. Aye, you’re now taller than me.”

Fiona —Niece Fiona, Tegan must remember that from now on— blinked a few times, setting down her fork on her own empty plate. Fiona fiddled a bit with her glasses. “Thank you, I think. I see you grew out your hair. It looks really great in a braid.”

“Why, thank you, Niece Fiona. I would have kept my usual curly hair, but I discovered a book of hair styles in the Nautilus’s library.” Tegan found herself pausing, trying to figure out how to keep the conversation up and going. “I thought about doing a double braid, but I like the single braid better. It gives off a more professional look, don’t you think?”

Niece Fiona nodded her head. “It does makes you look professional. Um, what’s with you addressing me as ‘Niece Fiona.’ I mean, yes, I’m your step-niece, but we’re not that far apart in age. There’s no need to use that necessary title.”

“I gave this lots of thought over the last several hours. It’s best if I finally start acting as what I’m truly am to you. I’m not just your associate. I’m your aunt.”

“…Well, you call me what you think it’s right,” answered Niece Fiona. She quickly fiddled with her glasses before speaking again, and stood up from the table. “Just let me continue to you what makes me feel comfortable. If you excuse me, Tegan, I need to inform my stepfather that we’re done with our dinner. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“…Very well then, Niece Fiona.” Tegan gave a curt nod, and soon placed her hands on the table. As she watched Fiona walk out the door to the control room, Tegan looked upward at the ceiling, and gave out a weak screech.

“Why did I expected it to go well?”

[Fiona not being 'Niece Fiona' at the end was deliberate.]

Dessert of rice pudding is served, and honestly speaking, it’s something of a drag. Ephraim isn’t please by the news of Widdershins’ lack of dispatches, for Widdershins reveals it upon returning to the table. Ephraim also doesn’t take it well Widdershins gave Fiona the task to figure out what’s wrong it the machine/being the mechanic.

Ephraim, taking a sip of soda: “This is what happens when you spend time on nonpractical matters. All that free time of you studying poetry, you threw away so much potential learning in your apprenticeship. V, as a captain, it’s wise for you to know the ins and outs of mechanics. Your sister is such an excellent machinic, I—”

Tegan, mentally thinking: “FUCK THEY’RE GONNA ARGUE!”

Fiona, mentally thinking: “Please don’t argue, please don’t argue, please don’t argue.”

Widdershins, serving Tegan more pudding: “‘I met a traveler from an antique land/Who said— “Two vast and trunkless legs of stone/Stand in the desert…”

Ephraim: [Beat] “Verse Fluctuation Declaration aside, poetry has no other use.”

Tegan, sighing in relief the tension is temporary pause, excuses herself from the kitchen and goes to the control room. She gives an unexpected shriek, for there’s a floating book through the porthole window. Everyone quickly joined her, and they see more books floating by. Widdershins recognized one as a grammar book, and realized that every book floating by is from Josephine’s library. Widdershins gets into action of getting the Queequeg back to the surface. Tegan quickly assisting him, even though the controls aren’t identical to the Nautilus.

The two saved as much of Josephine’s library as they can, and Ephraim makes mental notes how Widdershins and Tegan —while bickering on how to get the books—are working together, like a little crew of two.

Widdershins: “All I’m saying that this very long tong device will do the job! Aye! It’ll get all the books in its proper condition! Aye! No worry about losing pages!”

Tegan: “I could understand if it’s one, two, or even three books, V. But there are countless of books floating around. Aye, I think in order to save as much as Josephine’s books as possible, this long net is the way to go.”

(Tegan wins the argument after playing Rock-Paper-Scissors, two out of three rounds.)

Ephraim and Fiona are tasked with drying the books that got saved. Fiona is turning on all the fans they have, while Ephraim uses a hair dryer on a low setting. There, he asked Fiona about her stepfather. Specifically, how is he caring for her.

Fiona: “Stepfather is taking care of me more or less well. Just like always, since he regained custody. If you’re curious, last week he wrote me a note about needing to go to the City’s headquarter about his second crewmember problem.”

Ephraim: “Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

Fiona: “…I admit, it would be nice to have someone my age or around my age on board. Like Tegan. Yes. Tegan and I back in the day were close. I would like that again.”

After saving much of Josephine’s library, Ephraim and Tegan eventually depart back to the Nautilus. Tegan and Ephraim are in the library together. Tegan is reading a book on an armchair reading a lichen book given to her by Fiona, and taking notes in a new commonplace book (red) given by her step-brother. Ephraim meanwhile, is at his desk doing paperwork, and soon gets a personal Volunteer Factual Dispatch, for Ephraim has two dispatches onboard the Nautilus (the other one is in the main control room).

V.F.D. Telegram: “Ephraim, something urgent has gotten our attention STOP. Several members claim to have seen a creature a group of volunteers were researching on years ago. While you weren’t part of said research group, you’re the only volunteer left alive and present with knowledge of said particular creature STOP. We urge you to volunteer and investigate if the sightings have any truth to them STOP. You must either investigate this solo, or with one additional crew member STOP.

And no STOP. Tegan doesn’t count STOP.”

Ephraim shuddered, thinking over how the last time he saw ‘THAT’ creature, he was with a sixteen-year-old Widdershins, and how they barely escaped with their lives. If it wasn’t for his adopted son’s quick thinking, they would have perished and disappear into the depths of the unknown waters. Ephraim drags his hands down his face, and sighs. He knows his adopted son would be perfect as an additional crew member, but knows he wouldn’t want to leave Fiona. Again.

Ephraim decided it’s best to go solo, and makes his own reply telegram. Tegan meanwhile, notices that her stepfather is acting slightly off, and talks to him.

[I feel Netflix!Fiona if she has a commonplace book, would be red. More of a light red, but red still. And semi-related, but Book!Fiona's commonplace book I headcanon as blue. Like, a sky blue.]

“Stepfather, what’s wrong?” Tegan closed her lichen book, and carefully sets it down on the side table beside her.

“It’s nothing much. It’s just…” Stepfather trailed off, and leaned back against the wooden desk chair. He removed his hat, and set it down onto the desk. “The organization just sent me a personal telegram. Aye. The organization asked me to volunteer for a rescue mission regarding a manatee.”

“Ah. A manatee mission. Got it,” said Tegan slyly, slowly nodding her head, with a small smile. She knew that there’s no manatee in need of rescuing, but knew it’s an important mission. Stepfather just has a weird habit of using manatee for codes. It’s not all bad. Stepfather always took her on these sorts of missions.

“Unfortunately, I have to do the mission by myself.”

“A solo mission? Why it is a solo mission? Is there something different has needs me to stay behind? Do you have no choice on leaving me?” Teagan stopped smiling, and continued to sit at the edge of her seat, for something just occurred to her. “You’re not going to leave me alone in the City at the family’s penthouse, are you? I can’t—”

“Calm down, Tegan. You’re not going on the mission, but this is giving us the opportunity we been waiting for,” said Stepfather. “Aye, after seeing you today out at Lake Lachrymose, I think it’s time for you to finally become an apprentice.”

Teagan couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Really?! I’m starting my apprenticeship!? I didn’t think there’s a lichenologist left in the City who—” And here Teagan stopped talking. No lichenologist left in the City meant one thing. “You mean my captain apprenticeship. That’s…well, at least I’m starting my apprenticeship.”

“I’m glad you’re taking it well,” said Stepfather, as he started pressing away on his personal Volunteer Factual Dispatch. “Now, let me inform headquarters of the development, and make the proper arrangement with V.”

“…You want V to be my chaperone!?” exclaimed Tegan. “Stepfather, I know he’s family and a captain with years of experience, but believe me when I say this idea will completely backfire! V has enough problems trying to find a second crew member!”

“Exactly.”

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #fanfic #widdershins family curse concept au #asoue au #captain widdershins #ephraim widdershins #tegan widdershins #fiona widdershins #hook handed man #verne widdershins #fernald widdershins #henchperson of indeterminate gender #we all queue in a yellow submarine

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