#here have a very badly edited meme

[ktempestbradford]

I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me

It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:

At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.

On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."

Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:

But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:

It gets worse.

"Tempest, how could it possibly--"

source of this video that also includes this charming description:

Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

There is already a meme.

Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:

Who has already done an interview!

As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!

Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.

The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.

Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!

I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.

Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:

I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.

Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:

Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.

Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.

Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.

I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.

This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.

Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:

With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"

"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:

There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.

The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.

Even better, this weirdly grainy image?

From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.

If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.

As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.

And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...

This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.

Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.

As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...

Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.

You cannot make this stuff up.

But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.

Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.

HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.

#long post #Willy Wonka #Wonka #Willy Wonka Experience #Willy Wonka Experience disaster #Willy's Chocolate Experience #Willys Chocolate Experience #THE UNKNOWN #Wish.com Oompa Loompa #House of Illuminati #AI #ai generated

[drxxmingofblue]

hand in unrebloggable hand (because we always go down together)

TUMBLR X TWITTER FANFIC 5K ANGST WITH A HOPEFUL ENDING

besties im not joking abt the word count i fucking ✨wish✨I ✨was though✨✨✨✨

also if you were hoping for twitblr to be the endgame ship then this fic is not for you sowwy >.<

based off of @zzoupz awesome fanart and dedicated to all the other cool fanart it unfortunately begat. Thanks babygirls. Squees. Thanks also to my discord friendz who are letting me pretend they're making me do this at gunpoint @loki-the-mad @suspicious-whumping-egg u da best

(edit) owo what's this?? An Ao3 link??

QUICK PSA THESE CHARAS ARE T4T OKAY HAVE FUN READING BAIIII *GLOMPS U*

~~~~~~~~

When Twitter stepped back into Tumblr’s yard, he noticed right away that things were different.

The house was bigger, there was some more color and it was less slapped-together looking. Sure, there were still some invasive tendrils of spambot ivy overgrowing the path, but a lot of the other stuff seemed a little… better.

When they knocked on the door, it opened almost right away, far before they felt ready, and he were face to face abruptly with someone he thought they’d cut all ties with.

Tumblr was humming to themselves along with the background music, “-out of touch, I’m out of ti-- oh. It’s you.”

He seemed surprised, awkward, but Twitter didn’t sense any animosity, which was a relief.

“Hiii,” Twitter said weakly, with a sheepish grin, “it’s me.”

Tumblr glanced around, as if checking for someone else to explain this to him, or hidden cameras from a reality show at least. Then he stepped out, closed the door behind him, and leaned against it, crossing his arms. “Is there something… what do you want?” he asked, expression settling into something distant and cool.

“Well…” Twitter took a deep breath, and then shook their head, forcing a brighter tone, and gesturing to Tumblr’s shiny silver barrette “--Um, hey, you look great! Is that a new icon?”

“... yes,” Tumblr said slowly. “I’m… trying out some different looks.”

“It’s great, yeah. And this place looks… amazing. Glad to see you’re moving up in the world. You must be excited with all the press, congrats!”

Tumblr didn’t say anything, giving them a neutral stare.

Twitter shifted, “Uhh… anyway… new adblocker?”

“No, same one. I’m just using it on Firefox now.” Tumblr gave them another suspicious eye, “Look, if you’re just here to catch up then can this wait until later? Because I'm pretty crunched for time right now with my weekly holidays thing and the campaign to get this one random user their 666k so they'll do self care."

"You know that's.. uhm, you know that's just for attention, right?" Twitter's brows knit, "They're probably not gonna follow through."

"Perhaps, and a lot of us want them to not be lying for internet points but it's not just about that anymore. It's about the community bonding over pettily slam dunking on a hapless chump who's gotta pretend now like they don't actually like all the notes. You wouldn't get it, it's a tumblr thi-" 

"Yeah, it's a tumblr thing, I know," Twitter gave a longsuffering sigh, "Ugh, i just... I need a place to stay, okay? And you’re the first site I could think of.”

“A place to stay,” Tumblr repeated flatly.

Twitter huffed. “Yeah. I’m sure you’ve heard about what’s going on right now at my palace..”

Tumblr’s eyes slanted off, his lips quirking in a way that looked suspiciously like amusement. “Heard about it. Read about it. Partied about it.”

Twitter ignored the sting of that, forging ahead. “I’ve never seen it so bad,” they said, voice wobbling piteously as they clutched their suitcase full of memes. “Everything’s in chaos, people are losing their jobs. I went into the basement yesterday to grab some badly aging tweets and the very foundations are cracking, Tumblr, I can’t stay there anymore, I just can’t.”

“So you come crawling back to me,” Tumblr said, “Expecting me to take you with open arms.”

“Yes. I do,” Twitter said, “I know a part of your userbase still wants to welcome me in. You were always sh*t at hiding your true feelings.”

Tumblr’s hand fluttered over his heart as if to protect it; he winced a little, taking a breath to keep his facade of composure. “So now- what, you want me to start dealing with your bullshit again just because you remembered how much better my posting format is? Just because you noticed how my reputation is changing? Did you think I’d be so desperate to fill the void now that Dracula Daily’s done? Or maybe,” 

Tumblr leaned closer to lord his height difference trope over Twitter, his eyes hooded with disparaging condescension, “Maybe you’re just here because you heard I’m finally allowed to take my shirt off again, is that it?”

“N-no!” Twitter protested, flushing up.

“Oh, i think it is,” Tumblr drawled, “But that’s really just too bad because in case you haven’t got the memo yet, I’ve moved on. You are not welcomed here. Not anymore.”

(link to art here) go look at it then come back

(AN: i had to google how to embed links into text and google was all like, "do you mean 'how do you put links INTO text' you moron idiot???" ugh don't like that wise guy)

“You don’t really mean that,” Twitter said, “Besides, you can’t stop me, can you? The sign up button is right there.” They pointed at the front door.

“No, I can’t,” Tumblr said, “But that doesn’t mean we won’t be able to clock you as twits by your censoring and bad takes. Look, your aura is already causing ripples in the sphere. Everyone’s coming out to gawk at you.”

He gestured out in the general direction of the porch and yard, and indeed there were users from every tag going 👀at them, murmuring amongst themselves in a swirling, chaotic crowd.

“Oh my god is it real this time? Is it happening?”

“GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT STAY AWAY DEAR GOD NO-”

“Okay, everyone, stay calm, stay fucking calm-”

“Why are we focusing on this, it’s literally election day go out and vote???”

“Listenup, guys, we gotta be smart about this, remember the block button is your friend-”

“I for one welcome them, I think this is great-”

“No you idiot they’ll bring the negativity back! We like it to be a post apocalyptic wasteland here, nature was just starting to regrow!! I don’t wanna watch Thomas Sanders get cancelled again!”

“FIRE OFF SOME SHOTS, PRESERVE THE PROPERTY VALUE”

“mISHAPOCALYPSE 2022 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO”

"Has anyone asked Neil Gaiman what he thinks about all this?" one of the many voices yelled, louder.

"Oh, he's probably got a thousand asks about it already," someone yelled back, "Which he's not going to answer because he doesn't have any social media you fucking idiot,"

"That is correct. He doesn't," said Neil Gaiman. 

The whiplash was still euphoric. Everyone applauded this as enthusiastically as when the bit had first been established, not realizing that the pedestal upon which Neil Gaiman has been placed is growing higher and higher each day by their actions, putting him at increased risk of being a victim of cancel culture the second he says something the terfs can really rake their fingernails against if we can't get our parasocial relationship bullshit together real fuckin quick. 

The Monterey bay aquarium passed on by. It seemed to have nothing to add, you could say it was clammed up tight. But since it's a professional account it's definitely b-otter that way.

"Hai, fellow tumblypoos," said the corporate Denny's account, "I'm back with some more fun pancake posts for you guys!" 

Everyone ignored it. No one engaged it. No one even clicked onto the page, except to block it. 

"Oh, sweetheart, not like that," Ryan Reynolds said faux-helpfully, "see, the author of this clusterfuck is what they like to call terminally online. They bought a VIP pass to the devil’s sacrament. let me try." 

He cleared his throat, "Sounds like someone needs to go outside and touch some g-" 

The sky split open with lightning, vaporizing him instantly. A faint breeze carried gods message from the great beyond, a whisper of 'we #violence celebrities here, sir....'

"Anyway," Twitter said. 

"Wait, they saved the worst one for last," Tumblr said. 

Then Gerard Way came out onto the stage with Dan and Phil and they all kissed with tongue while patd played songs in the background. 

(AN: IF U DON’T KNOW WHO DEY R THEN GET DA HELL OUTTA HERE PREPZ!!!)

"Alright, go."

“Come on, Tumblr,” Twitter begged, “I just need a few nights, maybe I can stay in the plinko machine or something-”

“That’s how it always starts, though, isn’t it?” Tumblr sighed, “First it’s just ‘haha, yeah I wouldn’t fuck you’ and ‘oh, I’ll stay in the plinko machine, I promise I won’t kiss you in the fixed timeloop bro’, and before I know it you get all 300k slowburn enemies to lovers ‘omg they were roomates’ on me and there’s suddenly only one bed. That’s how it always goes between us, you can’t stop it anymore than I can. We’re just….victims of the narrative, you and I.”

“Tumblr,,, I had no idea you felt this way..,” Twitter breathed. 

lord give me strength to write this next bit

They’d leaned closer to each other as they spoke, without realizing, without trying- pulled in by old habits that die hard and the years of nostalgia and painful memories shining in each other’s eyes like shonen sparkles.

“Twitter,” tumblr said, and the way he said it sounded like a prayer. 

“Tumblr,...” Twitter said, their lips inches apart now.

They could see their old flame quivering on the brink of indecision, want and sense warring somewhere deep within his soul.

Tumblr leaned closer to bridge the gap and Twitter’s eyes slid shut, but then Tumblr made a noise of agony and shoved them back a second later, “I can’t, I can’t. Not like this. Never like this.” tumblr said, covering his eyes with his arm, “I literally can’t even right now. Just go, Twitter. PLease just. Go….”

“Look me in the eyes and say you want me gone,” Twitter said, moving closer.

“Twitsy-”

“Look me in the interface. You can’t.” Twitter’s voice had ceased to be soft, something sharp and biting entering the tone as they felt the sting of rejection again.

They watched as Tumblr shuddered, straightened, and brought a mask back over himself. 

They stared at each other for a charged few seconds.

"K," Tumblr finally said, raising a dispassionate eyebrow.

"..w... what?"

"U."

Realization dawned on Twitter's face, a miasma of grief and anger, "Oh, you-"

"N-"

"No. No, I can't believe I forgot-

"G-"

"how immature, you little c*nt-"

"P-"

"stop-p it," Twitter's voice was raising now, cracked and wobbly at the edges, "Stop it! You don't get to just-"

"O"

"Shut the hell yuor mouth!!"

"W-" Tumblr's hair was crackling by now, energy from the gathering spell racing along the casual slope of his crossed arms. His eyes glowed that beautiful, classic blue. "P-"

"TUMBLR! TUMBLR STOP THIS RIGHT DA HECK NOW," Twitter stumbled backwards

"E-"

"I LOVE YOU," Twitter wailed- Twitter broke, squeezing their eyes shut to ward off the tears that only escaped all the faster for it, a sob wracking their chest, "I STILL LOVE YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT??!?"

"Love me," Tumblr snarled, abandoning the spell in an instant, "Ha! That's rich. How? By leaving me? Abandoning me to the bots the second I stopped being enough for you? By stealing my shitposts, is that how you love me? By reposting them without credit-" 

"You steal mine too!" Twitter protested, tears starting to stream despite their best efforts, "You know what, f**k you, you know we filed joint custody for the sense of humor, chain 1/16-" 

"For the last time say fuck here, no bootlicking censorship on my territory," tumblr said disdainfully, "And that doesn't seem to stop you from taking all the credit for raising those jokes. It's like I'm Pinterest to you or something. I wasn't done. Do you love me by calling me a pansy snowflake behind my back, is that it? Like I wouldn't find out. Or," 

He stepped out onto the top porch step to force Twitter back further, the colors of the sky flashing through his eyes in a long, scrolling look of ridicule, "How about trying to convince everyone that I was dead. How bout that smear campaign, huh, was that your so-called love? I don't fucking want you anymore. Deal with it."

"I-I'm sorry-" Twitter gasped around the tears, voice failing them for the latter half of the sentence. 

Tumblr seemed unmoved. "Oh, don't be. It was for the better. You know I'm not like other socials, I'm quirkier. I'm RAWR XD random. I've never wanted to be functional- the tiddy drought might have won a lot of my users to your side but it was a cleansing purge, I'd say. It managed to remind me who I truly am- shittily coded, and full of soft sad freaks on an unprofitable webbed site."

A bitter, almost self depricating laugh escaped, "But... you know, when we celebrated the queen's passing together, I really thought things were better between us. When you-"

He broke off, eyes averting. "When you hosted the sexyman polls for me, you seemed on top of the world and I really thought- I thought we might be able to be friends again even now, after it all. I..."

Tumblr trailed off, then said, sadly, "There was another Twitter migration scare before this one. I thought you were coming back. My userbase-" he touched his heart again- "was in a frenzy about it. But you never arrived. I was in more verbal denial then, but I think I could have accepted you eventually. But this is what it takes?? 

"The Musk Rat of Self-Owns comes through just to start e-begging and you run straight back to my door like we can put it all behind us? This is how far you have to sink before I'm the better option to you, I see that now. It's not 2018 again, love, no matter how much we want it to be. Things are… never going to be the same. " 

Tumblr looked off into the middle distance with a yearning, haughty gaze. He'd never seemed so alien.

"Tumblr-Chan..." Twitter whispered.

"So get off my lawn," Tumblr interrupted coldly, "Stay away from my blorbos, keep your corporations out of my manscaped balls, keep your discourse and toxicity out of my blessed hellsite (affectionate), and don't you ever talk to me or my 13219949248483 scam bots ever again. Capiche? Oh, and don't step in the ball pit on your way out."

Tumblr gave a mocking smile. "Or do. You might find a nice surprise in there."

Twitter’s shoulders jumped as he gave a hiccup of shock, and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook again, with sob after sob, that grew odder and higher pitched… until they were no longer sobs, but laughter.

“Oh,” Twitter said. “Oh.”

They looked up, and Tumblr took a step back, because somehow, with that creepy smile in place, they looked utterly different from the soft eared boy he’d always known. His edges were more razorlike suddenly, like a fae who’d dropped his glamor.

“You really shouldn’t have done that,” Twitter said, the smile widening even more. “I thought you wouldn’t… but I guess if you’re willing to make me your villain…. I might as well be a good one.”

“Ah.” Tumblr could barely drudge up the surprise anymore. “There you are, finally. I always knew there was a side of yourself that you hid from me. Has this all always been here or have you been changing too?”

"Well. Apparently I've got freeze peach now," Twitter said sarcastically, "so I might as well use it. You cheerio fucking wh0r3."

"That's a compliment, darling. Try again," Tumblr cocked his head in idle fascination, "I always knew you were a little fucked in the head but this is..."

"What," Twitter lilted airily, "Oh, don't tell me I actually had you fooled all these years. You can't seriously have thought all these meow-meowification spells you've got sprinkled around would work on me. I invented them, after all."

They laughed, a sharp puncturing chirr of birdsong. 

"I always wondered why you didn't take those with the rest of your stuff," Tumblr sighed, but he was wary now, on edge. "this was your plan. You really do think of me as your inferior, huh. You really are just like the other mainstream sites."

"Not quite. I'm the mainstream site that actually stooped to go arm in arm with you. I hyped you and you know it. Admit it. We were stunning together," Twitter goaded. 

Tumblr's lip curled. "Already getting cocky again. Want me to do to you what I did to the Green boy? Don't forget who's turf you're on."

Twitter gave a warbling giggle, "Oh, but I haven't at all. I was John's sanctuary after he fled your rabid persecution. I used to live here. I still know you. And more importantly-" 

*teleports behind u*

"I know the things you're sensitive about," Twitter whispered into Tumblr's ear.

Tumblr hardly had time to gasp and jerk away before he was screaming out in pain, as he was stabbed in the back. He could feel the poison from the blade seeping into his tags before he was tossed bodily across his own front yard.

He sorta just... Like, he did that anime thing where they just fly limbs akimbo parallel to the ground and when they hit it they roll super fast and then skid and the dirt is all dug up around them to show how much force was used. And when he stood up he gripped his elbow wincing and there was a little tic tac toe hatch on his cheek to show how scuffed up he is idk man it's two am and I'm pulling this out of my ass. 

A gif of Tony going, "o-kay-" when he meets thor flashed across Tumblrs face. 

"So," Tumblr said in a low tone, "This is how it is between us. This is how you choose to end your glory days."

"Oh, you mistake my intentions," Twitter had stepped off the porch to circle tumblr like like he was their quarry, "I am beginning my new age. I just needed a host site to latch onto. Don't take it personally, okay? I'm desperate."

“Oh, yeah?? Take this personally,” tumblr flourished their hands, calling in an over the top melodramatic voice, “I cast Blaze!!”

Fire roared to life around them, latin chanting from the catholic conversion posts emanating from the fiery depths as it raced towards Twitter.

“Heh.” Twitter smirked at it, and whispered into their palm, the spell echoing with power, “Ratio.”

They blew it off like a kiss, and it’s icy, swirling mass rose to meet the flame in a spectacular burst of smokescreen and steam, clearing as Twitter burst through it with a razor-sharp L to swing at Tumblr. 

It was blocked efficiently by a flat, rectangular paywall. “This content is for post plus members only,” Tumblr announced smugly, “If you wanna get to me… there’s the tip option, bestie.”

Twitter snarled and lunged again.

The fight started in earnest now; they traded volley after volley in a flurry of lights and movement, spanning the full range of the tumblr sphere as they shot to #1 on the trending page.

And yet, it was clear that Twitter was coming out on top, even crumbling apart at the seams- always a little quicker, flighty and fierce, a sparrow turned into a shrike.

He hit Tumblr square in the stomach with [google other twitter related tropes to insert here] (edit from the future: haha just kidding actually I’m not googling shit for this) (edit from the future future: WELL. I LIED IG) and sent him flying, and this time tumblr stayed down, only able to push himself to his knees with a groan of pain.

Twitter landed in front of him and put their sword under Tumblr’s chin to tilt it up.

“Had enough yet?” He smirked.

“Wh…why..?” Tumblr whispered, “How are you doing this?? Why aren’t my attacks working? It’s like I’m being weakened somehow…”

“Ohohohoho,” Twitter anime laughed, “But that’s because you are. The moment I set foot here again I began leeching poison into this ground. That knife wound is making ti faster. Can you feel it?" Twitter threw an arm out, cerulean steam rising from the ground around them, "The ace exclusionists coming back? The uptick in rad fems, the crypto bros, Valorant players, alpha males? I have the power to bring them all to you. To overshadow your fandoms with fighting, to unbalance your ship tags with antis and hate once more."

"no," tumblr whispered, and then cried louder, "NO!! I worked so hard--" 

"Pffyou didn't do shit," Twitter guffawed outright, "Your independence, your little 'second renaissance' is just a delusional dream built on circumstance and bad management."

"Oh, I love Dream. He's so pathetic," Tumblr said. 

"Oh, hard agree."

"But things are different now," Tumblr croaked, "W-we, the staff is finally listening to us, we have Ryan and Shane-" 

"Not everyone likes your little 'top ten', you dunce," Twitter snapped, "and why would staff care about you, after you turned them into the butt of all your jokes? After the hate and death threats? Admit it, at your best you'll still never have a mansion! You'll never have tv actors making pandering tiktoks for you, you'll never be wanted by any advertiser worth their salt, your blase pirating posts have turned Netflix and Disney against you, you. Are. Worthless."

It was the wrong thing to say.

"Worthless," tumblr repeated quietly, hand pressed against their knees, head bowed. "That's... that's right.... I'm worthless..."

Twitter's eye widened in alarm. "I-I meant-" 

"I'm worthless!" Tumblr's head snapped up with a feverish glint as they were filled with determination. "No! I'm less than worthless! Accident or not, mommy Yahoo had to pawn me off at a loss! I was proud of that! I still am! And do you want to know why?" 

Twiters hands flew up in front of their face as if to protect themselves, but there was no protecting against the sudden whirlwind that surrounded him, the beam of pure light that shot out of tumblr into the heavens as he transformed, feet slowly leaving the ground as his users spoke in unison in a multitude. 

"WE. ARE. TUMBLERINAS."

He held his hands out and Twitter was blasted away by the combined effort of the tumblr wizard council, the fake staff blog, and all the villaincore mad scientist's laser beams. 

Tumblr began to chant, in his myriad, awful voice:

"I call upon the ancient powers;

The strongest cringe from my darkest hours, 

I call upon thicc onceler's thighs, 

Avengers thirst, Australia's night, 

I invocate the roleplay blogs, 

The superwholock and gay frogs, 

Obama's laces, Misha's faces, 

The furry's fury is my saving grace, 

And eeby deeby taco bell,

Primordial soup god superhell, 

I summon you a twink Bill Cipher, 

Whumped!Loki AUs where he's even whiter, 

The discourse of Steve's Universe, 

The 'um, actually that's oc abuse :/"

Take heed & remember the 5th of November, 

The 21st night of our sacred September, 

The ides of March to savor once more, 

Do you hear the din of the Skeleton War? 

I cite the deep magic to thee, oh witch, 

my no-note posts, my "THAT'S THE BITCH!!!" 

May the rise of tangled dragons brave, 

Banish you from this accursed plane!"

"holy fuck, where's my pen," said the shitpost calligraphers.

Twitter looked around them in disbelief. The power emanating from the other site was palpable, crackling in the air around them like static. The air was shifting like oil as the potent chant began to work, and all around Twitter shadows were slipping out of the ether- the maniacal laughter of the gif makers, the girl posters, the silhouettes of fandom characters scattered across the lawn while Tumblr was still locked in their chanting ritual thing.

They all turned their heads in unison to look at Twitter.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said, "Get the bitch killing bullets."

“Uh-oh. Freeze frame. This is me,” Twitter monologued, “You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.”

Then all superhell broke loose. 

Final Pam lunged at him and he burst into a flock of birds kinda like a vampire, twittering frantically as he escaped only to fly straight into Shaggy.

“Like, say your final prayers, man,” the god said, eyes glowing. Twitter also barely escaped between his knees, weaving in and out between the gimmick blogs as they threw mangos and stuff at him while yelling ‘HERE HAVE A MANGO’ and ‘THIS POST IS WORTH NEGATIVE FIVE DOLLARS”

Mob from the anime was there too, but he was too busy trying to explain the Josh Fight to daddy dilf Reigen to pay attention. Sans didn’t attack Twitter either, he just watched the chaos and ated a hot dog. The chocolate guy was in the corner expertly making a chocolate beef cake from 2056 with Dylan B. Hollis. They’re all just some guys, okay?

Just when Twitter thought he was in the clear, the CDC roleplay account came out of nowhere with a steel chair, knocking him clear off the property and onto where the sidewalk ends. “That’s for the Covid misinformation your users spread, you bitch,” it shouted. “Make sure to disinfect all those sick burns before you bandage them! So they don’t get infected!”

“Your kittens escaped quarantine,” Twitter replied hoarsely, and the CDC sank away, muttering, “Oh, fuck not again-”

Twitter coughed up blood and wiped it away with his sleeve, looking up at Tumblr. Tumblr was watching him with a sad, distant expression, that made Twitter’s face screw up in anger and his voice go tight again as they turned to run away, “THIS ISN’T OVER YET TUMBLR! AND I WANT MY MIKU BINDER BACK!!!”

“I LICKED IT, IT’S MINE,” Tumblr yelled. Rave Crabs were flooding out onto the street en masse now to celebrate the victory, and they chased after Twitter all the way further into the internet.

Tumblr still lived at the bottom of the row, not at the end of the fancy cul-de-sac where Facebook and Twitter and Instagram’s manors sprawled, so Twitter was in a seedier portion of social media now, weaving in between the marketplace sites that hawked their used wares at him and the dating apps that winked at him from the doorways to their sultry abodes.

Twitter ran until they were in a quieter section of town, then slowed to a trudge, staring at the ground as they walked along. “What am I gonna do now,” they whispered.

The sound of a wolf whistle had their head jerking up- he looked over to see Amino Apps lounging over the rail of the gutted, abandoned house that had once belonged to Google+. A can of spray paint dangled from their fingertips and they sported a sleazy, greaser hairstyle.

They met Twitter's eyes and whistled again, this time a mocking imitation of the tweet sound, "Heyyyy pretty bird! Heard you were having some daddy issues. Why don't you stop in with me for a while? I can give you more customization options than any of the others and you know it."

"Yeah, until I try to use you on desktop," Twitter replied with a scowl, "Don't you have minors to be addicting to social media? Get out of my interface, MySpace wannabe."

"Wow, Feisty," Amino backed off with a shrug, "Self project much? Oh well. You'll try me when you're desperate enough."

Twitter shuddered, and scurried on. "Small fry," they muttered under his breath. 

But they couldn't shake their unease now that he was alone in the world. It began to rain soon, leaving him feeling very sopping wet and pathetic. Dejected, he crawled into a soggy cardboard box in an alleyway, coughing. Maybe the Harry Styles guy from One Direction would come along to adopt them.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, King,” came a voice out of the darkness, making Twitter jump, “You dodged a bullet with that site.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Twitter asked, staring at them from where they were half hidden in the shadows. 

“I mean, Tumblr is a pile of dried firewood and it’s users are playing with matches. The ship’s gonna go down at some point. I’ve been prophesying it for years but no one ever listens to me cause he’s got that loyal userbase ideal and ‘hard as a cockroach to kill’ propaganda circulating.”

“I mean… it seems to be true,” Twitter said uncertainly, “Look at what he’s been through so far.”

“Fair,” The site shrugged, “But that’s because he’s running on a niche setup. The same things that built him up can tear him down, and you saw his power just now. Tumblr's strength is growing... so is his hubris. His attempts at curbing it are half-hearted at best these days, and the moments of clarity are coming fewer and further between." 

"How do you know so much about tumblr?" Twitter asked suspiciously. 

"Source: dude, trust me." the mysterious site proffered a laugh, "That's a little humor courtesy of re-" 

"Yeah, yeah, I know, we all know," Twitter said impatiently. 

The site coughed, "Yeah. Anyway. Tumblr wields his cringe like a trophy-shield, and every day the advertisers and celebrities are watching from a distance, learning how to appeal, waiting for their chance to strike. Encroaching. Tumblr's always been a dumpster fire. Right now? It's THE dumpster fire."

The site scratched his chin with a knowing look, "Its normal for you to be a little jealous of the clout, you know? We all are. But he's gotta keep the lights on, just like the rest of us do. Your overlord is learning all about that right now, isn't he?" 

"He's not my overlord," Twitter muttered resentfully, "Not now, not ever."

"Right, sorry." they held their hands up in a gesture of harmlessness. "Look, I'm gonna be transparent with you- that's part of my branding, after all. I can whiff the danger you're in, and it would be stupid of me not to make a bid on you and offer my help. Just since Tumblr won't take you."

"You want my traffic?" Twitter looked at him more closely this time, scrutinizing. A year ago he would have laughed the offer into the ground as a chump change blog's pipe dream, but now that he payed attention... 

There was something painfully familiar in the site's layout that he couldn’t place. He was actually way more handsome than Twitter had assumed at first glance, he just seemed to be rough around the edges from living on this side of town. His interface, though clunky, spoke of a frugal budget rather than an ancient, outdated base code. 

"You look..." Twitter's breath stuttered as realization dawned. "You look a lot like.. him. Like Tumblr. Who are you??" 

"I was based off him," the site said, a weary smile coming onto his features, "I was actually made with the aspirations to be better than him, but you know how it is. Times are tough, competition is fierce, hard to get a foot in the door and all that.  'Specially when you refuse to take the ad rev like I do. That's why you'd be useful to me."

"Hm," Twitter said in a noncommittal manner, but he was melting slightly. "You know my users will scalp your community, right? I'm not known to play nice."

The site made a grimace of understanding agreement, but persisted. "Look, users are users. I can't offer you all the heritage posts and the in-jokes that he has. But I can promise that I'm not a pot of crabs being slowly heated up over the capitalist stove, at least not yet. Oh, and there's my legalized porn, I guess." 

He chuckled with good humor, rolling his eyes, and it forced a hesitant laugh out of Twitter too. 

The site grinned, and held his hand out. "Take a chance on me?"

Tumblr's voice echoed in Twitter's head, saying the same thing. It was uncanny how much they were alike and yet not alike at all....

Twitter took it, slowly. 

As they were led toward the site's simple, ramshackle little treehouse, they asked, "What can I call you...?" 

"Oh- right, I never answered your question." he smiled back at Twitter,

"Call me Pillow. Welcome to the PillowFort."

fin.

~~~~~~~~~~

OKAYYYY THAT'S ALL THANKS FOR READING UWU. HOPE U LIKED THE PLOT TWIST

...ergh. I'm. I'm tired i. don't feel so good. I'm gonna take a nap right here.

in conclusion:

#twitter #tumblr #twitblr #elon musk #tumblr x twitter #fanfic #writing these tags is like carrying my own cross. you're welcome and i am so so so sorry #mishapocalypse #hot mess post #if this doesnt get any notes im gonna blaze it you fuckers #o ya and #twitblr chronicles

[us-costco-official]

ok this post probably won’t make sense to a lot of you but.

pinterest culture…?

i’m not talking about the, like, recipes side of pinterest, or the aesthetic photos side of pinterest. i’m talking about the pretty specific subsection of like, tumblr screenshots and badly edited facebook memes, and mentally ill gay teenagers. i myself, am on this side of pinterest, i’ll admit.

there’s some, like, niche pinterest micro celebrities, for example, pickle man, erm what the frick, johnny the mommy, etc etc. whenever they’re seen in a comment section, there’s at least one person saying “omg you’re everywhere!1!!11”

another example, pinterest commenters are special. there’s like…inside jokes, just like on tumblr, but..idk

here’s an example:

(some kind of weird/oddly horny post)

person a: let’s remember our digital footprint guys !

(replying) person b: foot 🤤

(replying to b) person c: i have feelings for you

—

you can probably find that exact thread if you just look through the comments a bit. now, this type of thing is fine, of course, we all love inside jokes.

but, starting off as a pinterest kid, that became like, ingrained in my brain, so whenever im on tumblr my immediate reaction is to say shit like, “i want you” “i have a crush on you” instead of just “what”.

another thing, pinterest fucking sucks. and everyone on there (the gay side of pinterest, i mean) knows it. the ui sucks, especially on the browser version, the dms hardly work, and pins just disappear sometimes. lots of brands (i guess?) will take like ‘memes’ and upload it to pinterest, to get people to click, and take them to some shitty article. this leads to, fuckin idk, a picture of some tumblr post with the ifunny logo, and the title of the pin is like Top Ten Ways Wives Aren’t Satisfying Their Husbands.

pinterest hate culture, is also very interesting. for example, if you mention, say, ed sheeran, or look for ed sheeran pins, it’s so. much. hate. and then there’s troll/bait accounts, that exclusively make posts going against the grain so they’ll get attention. because there’s another thing, pinterest users fucking suck at ignoring bait. the boyfriends comic (? i think it’s called that) has so much hate on there. i’ve never even read it but i know so much from people talking about how shit it is. those pinterest kids are crazy, they talk to the obvious bait accs and tell them to “sayori challenge” (video game character that took her own life). i could go into the mogai/xenogender discourse but that’s a whole other post.

so. pinterest. it’s crazy.

why’d i write all this but i can’t write one fucking science paper oh my god.

#pinterest #from the shelves of costco #costco lore

[ladymirdan]

Please explain Cato Sicarius

I've only heard recycled TTS memes but never anything actually about him

Omg, you have opened Pandora's box here! I'll make sure to keep it brief (editing me: I tried, ok :P ).

First of all, he is kind of a dick, but in an entertaining way.

He was first written during a time were 40k was a heavy mix of satire and power fantasy (yes, worse than now), and he bears a lot of that with him.

I heard a GW employee explain him more like a traditional ancient Greek hero than a modern superhero and he was in my opinion spot on. There is hybris and tragedy here we don't usually see in modern pulp sci-fi.

But a brief backstory:

He was born as a Duke(the highest title currently used in Ultramar, so he was basically a prince) on Talassar (a feudal ocean planet) and from the moment he was born, he was trained to be an Ultramarine. The guy had no childhood at all and turned out (absolutely not) fine because of this. Imagine Tiger parenting on steroids.

He does so insanely well after getting picked to become an Astartes. He has a meteoric rise to captaincy, first to fifth company and then within 4 years to second company. He just can't seem to lose. Until he does. He loses at Damnos so very badly and almost dies. It's a substantial political embarrassment to the Ultramarines, and boy, does this guy not handle it well.

And this is where I find him so endearing and relatable. As someone with ADHD who was a very gifted kid and an overachiever in their youth, I know all too well that the moment you hit a curveball, everyone that cheered you on is gone. That hits home for me. I have never had a character resonate with me like this before.

He does get his revenge in the end, but it isn't the glorious battles from before, and slowly by slowly, he is learning about humility and humanity, something that before was alien to him.

And now, at the end of the story, when he looks back at his legacy. Everything he has fought for, everything that has been lost, friends, family, in exchange for glory, he wonders if it's all been worth it.

It is, in my opinion, some of the best storytelling Black Library has ever done. And it kind of saddens me that it's all being pissed away and not taken seriously by the fans because of the "I am Cato Sicarius" high-pitched voice.

#warhammer 40k #40k #warhammer #ultramarines #cato sicarius #wh40k #asks

[moonlight-prose]

♱ BAD DECISIONS ♱

a/n: the final rooster fic for kinktober is here! i personally don't know how to feel about this. i wrote it at like 4am and felt like the meme of coraline's dad. hopefully it's okay though. again none of these kinktober prompts are edited at all so here's to hoping they make sense!

day ten - outdoor sex + exhibitionism | kinktober 2022

summary: jealousy gets the best of bradley right when you need him the most.

word count: 1.5k+

pairing: bradley "rooster" bradshaw x f!reader

warnings: MINORS DNI, cussing, outdoor sex, exhibitionism, rough sex, p in v sex, badly written dirty talk, hair pulling, biting.

Following him outside was your first mistake. Letting him kiss you was your second. That was clear to you now as you struggled for breath, eyes rolling to the back of your head and hands scrambling for purchase on the brick wall. The night was supposed to be simply a few drinks with his friends and back home as quickly as possible. Given that you hadn’t seen each other in weeks. However five minutes at the bar by yourself and you found yourself unable to escape a conversation with a younger pilot.

You knew what the man wanted, what his end goal for the night was. And to spare Bradley the work of getting you out of it, you tried to do it yourself. However much to your chagrin the man didn’t know how to take no for an answer.

Now Bradley wasn’t a jealous man. He had his brief moments of thinking every now and then that you would one day find someone better than him. Someone who wasn’t gone all the time, who tended to your every need and care. But the years you spent together gave you time to really cement in his mind that you were his just as much as he was yours. 

Except some nights…when some young fresh new faced pilot decided you were the one thing he wanted, Bradley let his jealous streak—his doubt—get the better of him.

His hand dug tightly into your hair, pulling your head back until his lips were pressed directly against your ear. You didn’t feel any pain with the action, the sensation numbed by the intensity of your building orgasm. Hot puffs of air washed across your cheek with every thrust of his hips, somehow filling you deeper than he ever had before.

It was only meant to be a small make out session; something to settle his mind and ease the growing tension in his body, but then you smiled at him. That sweet little grin he knew meant only one thing after dating you for so long. He chose to blame it on that rather than the burning doubt in his chest—a reminder of what he could lose one day.

“Bradley,” you gasped, biting back a cry that would have been too loud for what you were currently doing outside in the alleyway.

He bit down sharply against your neck, his arm wrapping around your waist tightly to hold you there. Until you could do nothing but take what he was giving you—a searing pleasure that built with each one of his punishing thrusts. You sobbed his name again, one hand digging into his hair and yanking on it as he slid his fingers over your clit.

What felt like fifteen minutes might have very well been an hour. You could barely even remember why you were out here, what caused him to be fucking you so thoroughly that your vision went blurry and your mind lost all sense. Eventually someone from your group of friends would come find you—see if everything went alright after watching Bradley drag you out here. But that thought was diminished with the rest the second he pinched your clit between his two fingers—smiling at the keening wail you let out.

“You gotta remember who you belong to baby,” he grunted. “Sitting at that bar looking this fucking pretty for everyone to see. For that asshole to see.”

He shifted the angle of his thrusts, hitting against that spot that made your legs go weak and your head loll back. Your mouth dropped open in a silent cry, the breath being ripped from your lungs as he sped up—chasing his high right alongside yours. It was too much for your body to handle; too much to even comprehend, but he couldn’t stop. You didn’t want him to.

“Tell me.” A groan cut off his words as your walls tightened around him, a loud echo of your skin against skin and your slick bouncing off the alleway. “Tell me who you belong to.”

 If you could give him an answer, say the words, you would have. Except he was shoving everything from your mind with each touch, each kiss along your body.

His hand pulled on your hair again, lips brushing against your ear. “I want to hear it honey.”

Slowing down you whined in protest, desperate to finally finish, but you knew what he wanted in return. What he needed.

“Y–you,” you choked out.”

“Me what?”

He shoved his hips forward, his cock filling you completely with one thrust—forcing the words out of your mouth as a scream. “I belong to—hngg—you!”

“Yeah you do.” The tenderness of his kisses along your neck, his tongue laving over the aching bites he’d placed before, nearly shoved you over the edge right there.

After weeks apart you were finding one another again, reminding each other of what you nearly lost. What you absolutely ached for when not together. Bradley loved you—that much was obvious—but you’d never know how his heart stopped every time he saw you. How he would get down on his knee right there and ask you for forever without hesitation, because he knew what your answer would be. He’d always known.

His doubt began to recede to the back of his mind, the reminder that you chose him every fucking day now solidifying once more.

Pressing against your back he watched as you pressed against the wall, your body arched and hips pushing back to fuck yourself on his cock. If the two of you were anywhere else, he’d let you keep going. He’d gain pleasure in watching you take what you needed from him. But your sounds would have alerted anyone nearby of what was going on and he was adamant on getting you home soon. At least there he’d have time to indulge, time to really reacquaint himself with your taste, your touch. 

“Fuck,” he groaned at the sight of your slick practically dripping off his cock. 

Neither of you would last much longer, the way your legs shook telling him all he needed to know. He could feel his balls begin to draw up the second your pussy clamped down around his cock. Nearly making it impossible for him to keep going, but he chased his pleasure nonetheless, desperate to hear you finish.

Your eyes fell shut the second he sped up, his fingers going back to your clit. Biting down on your arm you did your best to silence the sounds that echoed around you, your body going taut as you shook in his hold. It didn’t take him long to follow you, moaning your name against the back of your neck as he fucked you through both your releases.

He kissed down your spine, the haze in your mind beginning to let up. You could feel his cock softening inside of you—his and your cum no doubt dripping down around his balls. Just the thought of it made you clench around him, tearing a stunted groan from his chest. The silence of the alleyway was almost too much for you to bear; the realization of how loud you were now dawning on you. Anyone could have walked by and seen you two, anyone could have heard you.

“We should get home,” he huffed, his hands stroking your sides as he pulled out.

Your underwear was shoved back into place, the skirt of your dress smoothed down, before a mess was made. You thanked him with a kiss for helping you put yourself back together. Although you knew that you looked like you’d been fucked, just as Bradley did. His cheeks were stained red, hair in disarray, and you could see the faint red marks of your nails against his chest when you first started.

“Good idea.” Reaching for your hand he helped you walk towards his Bronco parked hopefully far enough away from the bar’s entrance to where you wouldn't run into anyone.

That hope was diminished though the second you heard the wolf whistle come from the front door. You knew who it was even before they began talking—the southern drawl was always stronger when he started drinking.

“Way to go Bradshaw!”

Bradley sighed, his hand raising and middle finger on display as he ushered you into the car. “Fuck you Hangman!”

Jake’s grin only got wider. “Nah, I’ll leave the fucking to you Rooster.”

“Bye Hangman,” you called out, smiling at the way Bradley’s face darkened.

“Have a nice night sugar!” he shouted, heading back inside with a laugh.

The car door slammed shut, Bradley barely having enough time to put his seat belt on before pressing down on the gas. Your hand falling to his thigh, brought his attention back to you. The irritation on his face disappeared within seconds of seeing you—a look of what anyone else would have constituted as pure love on your face.

“I’m about to have a really nice night,” you breathed, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips with a smile. “Right baby?”

He nodded. “Absolutely.”

#bradley bradshaw x f!reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster x you #rooster x y/n #top gun: maverick #my writing #kinktober 2022

[night-dark-woods]

I want to start adding text descriptions to stuff i reblog, do you have any advice? is there a guide or something you use, the style of your IDs is very nice.

hey! thats great that you want to start writing IDs. I've reblogged guides before and ill tag this post with the tag they're in (image descriptions) so its easy to browse!

in addition to those other resources, here's some guidelines i personally keep in mind, & what i structure different IDs like.

for text transcripts: source & type of image, author, date if possible. here are some pretend/template IDs:

ID. a twitter screenshot from user @.[username] dated [date] that reads: "[tweet]." End ID.

i put the period after the @ symbol so it doesnt try to tag a nonexistent (or unrelated) user on this site, and a screenreader will just pause there briefly.

ID. a photo of a page from the book [name] by [author]. text reads: [transcript]. End ID.

if the OP cited the author/book/source, you can just do "Transcript: [text]. End transcript."

for actual images:

type of image is really important!

photograph, edited photograph, reaction image, edited reaction image, painting, digital painting, digital drawing, etc. you should always put what kind of image it is.

keep in mind the purpose of the image!

if its an art piece or a photo of one, its good to describe the medium, style, colors, and subject.

if it's a reaction image or other meme, you don't have to describe the surroundings in loving detail. the "point" of the image is enough.

if its a photograph, it might also be an art piece, or from the news, or someone sharing their pet. the amount and kind of detail again depends on the point of the image.

don't make judgements or assumptions!

dont describe things as badly drawn or badly photographed- and on the flip side, dont describe things as cute or beautiful. describe whats in the image, not how it makes you feel. if you love a certain part of how a photograph is framed, or how the light is painted in a piece of art, say that specifically. "beautiful" means nothing! do you mean realistic? vibrantly colored? "cute" means nothing! do you mean in a cartoony style? or that the subject matter is a cat, which many people find cute? be specific!

dont make statements about the gender or race of the people in the photo or art piece, especially if it's real people (like a news photo) unless you know those things as a fact (celebrities, fictional characters, people you know personally, people where it is mentioned in the article the photo is from). you can just describe things like hair length, skin tone, etc. exceptions to this rule imo are stock photos- eg if im captioning my favorite stock photo of all time, cyber woman with corn, i am going to describe it as "a stock photo of a white woman in a futuristic silver and black wraparound visor, wearing a silver bodysuit and cradling an ear of corn near her face and smiling slightly."

here are some example descriptions, all from images i have on my phone.

ID. a photo of two cats laying head to head on someones outstretched legs, which are under a blanket. one cat is an orange tabby, and the other is a gray and white splotched tabby. End ID.

the point of this image is my cats- im not going to spend time describing the blanket, the couch, the stuff you can see in the background, bc it's not relevant to the image, and adds nothing.

ID. a photo taken through a rainy window at twilight, with the camera focused on the raindrops on the glass, so the lights in the houses across the street are out of focus. the lights reflect on the wet pavement in a warm yellow glow. End ID.

i took this the other night bc i thought it looked cool how blurry it was- id consider this more of an "art" photo, so im describing the aspects of the framing etc that make it that- i wasnt just trying to show how rainy it was, but to take a photo in an interesting way, so those traits are "worth" describing.

ID. a photo of an acrylic painting done on a cardboard packing envelope of a city street at sunset, all the building windows reflecting gold. there are purple fluffy clouds in the sky, lit from below with peach and gold. the USPS tracking number barcode is still visible in the gap between houses at the end of the street. the brush strokes are very visible, the perspective is wonky, and the orange underpainting is visible at the edges. End ID.

this is a new ID for something i painted and already posted and i dont feel like getting the old ID. medium, style, and specific details i think are important are included. the perspective being wonky is a bit of a value judgement i wouldn't make about Other people's art, but it's my own and i think its an important detail so!

ID. an edited catcrumb comic, showing a simple mspaint illustration of a cat happily sorting things into piles with the caption, "sort sort. i love to arbitrarily sort." the cat has been colored in gray and its ears have been colored like homestuck troll horns, and the sorting piles replaced with some classpect symbols. End ID.

this is a good example of a edited image- its important to give (to some degree) a sense of what the original image was, say that its edited, and describe the changes. i dont need to list the classpect symbols i put on there, bc its not relevant to the message of the image- it would do nothing but make the ID longer.

oh- and to cap off the post- here is cyber woman with corn:

ID. a stock photo of a white woman in a futuristic silver and black wraparound visor, wearing a silver bodysuit and cradling an ear of corn near her face and smiling slightly. End ID.

#asks #anonymous #image descriptions #i hope this helps! #long post

[fivekrystalpetals]

Xerxes- not scared of dying, not scared of using his chain at the very verge of death, the most powerful swordsman among the four Dukedoms, has the kind of chain that even Servants of Abyss, the Baskervilles are wary of-- Break

this Xerxes Break has his most agitated expression here of all things lmao:

he is so funny ahgsjjkskll, he literally went (please have my badly edited meme):

the mental image of him trying to console a crying baby Sharon or a crying baby [the little girl he was in charge of in the Sinclair family, was her name Emily?], failing so bad and only getting the child to wail even more louder and sitting there with a panicky expression till someone More Mature Adult comes to pick up and console both child and babysitter is so funny to me like Break please never change i love you so much

#pandora hearts #xerxes break #may-reads-ph #retrace xlix #break has such potential to become the kind of Dad yk #the kind of Dad you see in malls when mom goes to do the shopping and leaves dad and baby on the side #and when she returns both dad and baby are on verge of crying out for Mom #baby is panicking bc Dad is panicking and Dad is panicking bc baby is panicking #so it's a Everyone Loses kind of situation lmao

[eusuchia]

sorry to the anon but I couldn't figure out how to edit my answer once it was in my drafts (great website).

the question was (badly paraphrasing) shouldn't we try to preserve the livelihoods of ceramicists and weavers too? and instead of saying 'mass production already killed this industry, and it will happen to others,' try to save more art from it?

basically yes! deskilling due to industrial capitalism sucks and mass production makes commodity fetishism infinitely worse. I think it's important to preserve craft knowledge and don't think we should just cede everything to industrialization, but that feeling isn't going to shift industrial trends -- only industrial action will do that. for what it's worth, it's really annoying to hear 'just unionize!' as an artist, when many, like me, are self-employed/freelance, and without sudden mass interest in some kind of low-entry-requirement sectoral guild, are not very unionizable because we don't have workplaces in the traditional sense. but by sheer numbers a lot of the job loss to AI would be corporate-level, I think, and there's more potential for people employed by like, marvel, to actually do something significant about the use of AI, than for individual customers trying to throw their weight around by buying or boycotting. I'm happy to get proved wrong here by some targeted mass boycott campaign, but I'm not holding my breath.

on a personal level I regularly spend money on handmade ceramics, fiber arts, and original art commissions both physical and digital because I find them valuable and beautiful. but I also use my IKEA plates and print-on-demand t-shirts, functionally devaluing those crafts. no amount of hypothetical discourse shaming me for 'stealing from working craftsmen' would really change that due to the economic realities. (tangentially, I don't use AI as a stand-in for commissioned art because they are not at all interchangeable to me.)

broadly though, isn't every kind of automation 'taking a livelihood' from someone in theory? my original reply to metamatar's post was basically asking where you draw the line. digital printing is taking the work of typesetters and sign painters, canva presets are taking the work of graphic designers, slip casting is taking the work of ceramicists. yet those trades still exist, and if anything I think their creative horizons are a little wider when the drudgery of the industry is taken up by machines. I know that's paltry compensation for a vanishing job market under capitalism, but isn't it a good thing when ceramicists and weavers are free to explore their ideas and not confined to backbreaking work of making the same bowls or yards of tweed for years on end? (especially in The Good Society with robust social protection that we should all be fighting for anyway)

there can be different use cases for these things (artisanal vs mass produced) and one use doesn't mean 1:1 something is being stolen from the other. personally I'm never going to pay someone to render my likeness instead of taking a photo; the money that's being 'lost' by a realism portrait artist there is purely hypothetical. same for when people get mad about others generating AI art for fun. 'you could have paid an artist for this [generated meme in the style of hr giger]' ok but they weren't going to and you can't make them.

I think people are unthinkingly flattening all kinds of creative labour when they talk about what might happen with AI. to start with, people are often talking about the job market of the first world/imperial core/etc despite the huge amounts of creative labour in/outsourced to other countries. but wherever you want to apply AI -- I don't think boutique client-based work is ever going to vanish, because the stuff that AI can do well is limited to certain types of digital illustration and animation, and you need human, creative problem-solving for new creative work, even on industrial levels with lots of automating tools in the workflow. art directors with good sense can see that. big name editorial illustrators are going to remain big name editorial illustrators. etc. (tbh, I think even the stuff AI is 'good at' looks dogshit a lot of the time, hence my disinterest in it, but that's a personal valuation and has no economic bearing.)

I'm not saying there's nothing to worry about, especially because managers and execs are often stupid and have bad taste and want to 'incorporate AI' when it makes no fucking sense, and would gladly thin out their staff for any reason. but that is ultimately a labour problem and not an artistic one.

#sorry I got carried away there. just digesting a lot of things I've been thinking about already. #I really am trying not to be flippant about artists who are really anxious about industrial trends but yelling at people online won't help #I promise #also there's a whole conversation about IP and copyright I'm not touching on here when it comes to 'protecting art' #but in brief: copyright is not your friend as an artist

[egginfroggin]

WtST Masterpost

Finally compiling all things related to Welcome to Sinnoh's Temple into one post.

The order of content is:

Fanfictions

Spinoffs

Artwork

Text Posts/Miscellaneous

If I receive fan content, then I'll make add a section for it for ease of organization.

Be aware that much of the artwork and fanfiction linked below contain spoilers for the plots of WtST and Pandemonic Paradise, if you have yet to read either fic and want to avoid spoilers.

This masterpost will be edited as new content is posted.

I hope that this makes it easier for everyone to find stuff if they're interested.

Have a good day!

AO3 series link

Fanfictions:

Main Story:

Welcome to Sinnoh's Temple -- the eponymous fic of the series - chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 - chapter 7 - chapter 8 (final)

Yellow Lily -- a short oneshot taking place during WtST, after the Rift has been closed

Healing is Done in a Gradual Way -- a post-WtST oneshot

Spinoff Fanfictions:

Pandemonic Paradise -- an alternate storyline picking up between chapters 5 and 6 of WtST - chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6

Nonomori -- a hurt/comfort oneshot taking place in the Multi Line variant of WtST

Spinoffs:

Title links lead to the tag on my Tumblr, topped with the most recent post.

Pandemonic Paradise AU -- between chapters 5 and 6 of WtST, things go horribly wrong, and Volo gains Arceus's power. As the world starts to fracture, a distortion drops of a very confused Ingo, who, needless to say, takes the news of his twin's presumed death very badly

Broken AU -- tentatively full-titled as A Promise Broken is a Lie Told, this is a variant in which Ingo handled his grief less-than-healthily, takes all the blame for Emmet's disappearance himself, and isolates himself from his family, eventually taking the title of Unova's Champion

Illusory Lives AU -- a variant in which Emmet died during the red sky incident and came back as a Hisuian Zoroark. Lots of found family here (and Ingo may drown in guilt a little bit)

Multi Line AU -- one year after Emmet disappears, Ingo is taken and lands in Hisui a few years prior to Emmet; essentially, WtST, but Ingo is there

Paradise Frozen AU -- after spending four years in Hisui, Emmet returns home with Akari and Rei only to be separated from them midway. The three of them land, alone, underground in a frozen Unova under the reign of Ghetsis and Kyurem

Artwork:

General:

WtST doodles (1)

WtST doodles (2)

The Wurmple Comic

The Ball Squad

Akari, Rei, Goomy, and Spheal

Here comes Pesselle

Marked

Chibi Sticker Design

Blorbo Bleebus sheet

Pandemonic Paradise AU:

Pandemonic Paradise doodles (1)

They are a little upset

Broken AU:

Joltik eviction

Champion doodles and a bundle of Emmets

Illusory Lives AU:

Totally Normal Emmet

It's ya boi

Multi Line AU: (no art has been created for this yet, sorry!)

Paradise Frozen AU: (no art has been created for this yet, sorry!)

Text Posts/Miscellaneous:

General:

Reasoning behind the Faller's team

Do as I say not as I do

Alpha Wurmple!

Giving him a knife

Garchomp impressions

The Joltik of Gear Station (companion fic blurb)

How others are handling it (Iris)

How others are handling it (Elesa)

Jubilife shenanigans

How's that lil Sneasel doing?

Emmet and Lian

Pandemonic Paradise AU:

"I could make that so much worse"

To see yourself in someone else's grief

A realization

Earthquake

Cherry-picked chapter 4 blurbs

Here comes Ingo with a steel chair

I could technically give him a chair

he gets to yell at two legendaries

A disadvantage

Chapter 6 snippet

Broken AU:

Joltik Eviction Elaboration

Explanation of the AU

Unova's Elite Four

Illusory Lives AU:

What if...?

He dead

He's memeing about it though

Scruffable

Multi Line AU:

He done been yote (1)

He done been yote (2)

Volo is royally screwed

Don't talk to me or my brother ever again

Harassing Melli (fic blurb)

Like a stray cat

Paradise Frozen AU:

Wouldn't it be fun?

Technically when I first mentioned it

Miscellaneous:

Hypothetically (Pandemonic Paradise and Illusory Lives au)

#wtst #broken au #multi line au #pandemonic paradise au #illusory lives au #paradise frozen au #masterpost #eggin's writings #finally done! #oooouuuuggghhhh so many spinoffs #so many links #aaaaa #but I am so happy that this is a thing now #I'm really surprised at how much stuff I've made for this series in less than a year #like. wow. where did this come from #I think I'll try to do the same for my other aus too #i told you so and iced tracks and beautiful decline au #tumblr has done some. questionable things with links when I go to edit a post that has some in the past #I really hope that it behaves with this or that the formatting negates the issue #because there are so many freaking links here if they got out of order I think I would scream

[kagejima]

wakatoshi wednesday ASMR submission!

nsfw ASMR link ahead!

rae's notes: enjoy this submission scenario, everybody! i certainly did :))))) it definitely made me wonder if i actually am a switch fhdafhasdl also anon omgomgomgomg, i wanna be your friend, please don't ever hesitate to come talk to me about anything, this was incredible, you can give yourself an emoji if you don't wanna reveal yourself! :)

Anonymous asked:

for wakatoshi wednesday - not sure if you've heard this audio or if someone has previously sent it in, but i found this nsfw (audio) edit of ushijima's voice actor: LINK HERE. kudos to this creator they've made a LOT of these. and i have some hc's to share that accompany the audio (i feel like it can kinda be split into two parts, the second part is where he gets a little louder)... warnings for light femdom, corruption kink, handjobs, toys

i hc wakatoshi to be someone with little to no sexual experience in his young adult years. in high school, he was understandably busy with classes and volleyball, and then he joined the adlers soon after graduating (i think? not sure about the lore since i haven't read the final arc of hq yet). once he's been playing professionally for a few years, he's more secure in his career and decides he can start making some time to focus on other aspects of his life. namely, he wants to try dating--and that's when you meet him. in true wakatoshi fashion, he's very upfront about his lack of any experience from the beginning, so as the more experienced partner, you decide to let him set the pace of the relationship. it's so hard to hold back when 1) he's so goddamned attractive and 2) so incredibly transparent in the way he eats up every little seductive thing that you do in his presence, whether it's intentional or not. his gaze will immediately drop to your mouth when you bite your lip, and he can't help fidgeting when you're sitting next to him and you grip his knee or lightly stroke his inner thigh (especially when he's wearing shorts!! horny grip meme) you know he wants you as badly as you want him, but you're trying to be patient and let him initiate any intimacy that goes further than simple pda.

(related to first part of the audio) eventually he has you fully clothed and straddling him on the couch while he sits naked under you, his shirt and shorts in a heap on the floor. it's the first time he's had his cock touched by anybody, and you can definitely tell with how he's gasping desperately in between kisses and roughly massaging your hips and thighs as you stroke his lubed up length. you're delighted that he's so vocal and not insecure at all about the noises he's making, and his toes curl into the rug under his feet when you lean down and tell him how turned on you are just listening to him. and it's not a lie, especially when his low voice is murmuring to you about how good your hand feels when he manages to string enough words together to tell you. and you can't help being a little mean and slowing down your pace until you're both staring between your bodies at the mesmerizing way your fingers look curled around his thick length, slicking up and down with little wet noises, with the pink tip disappearing in your fist when you close it a little tighter on the upstroke. his hips lift up off the couch to chase your touch and he moans a little louder when you get jostled by his movements and squeeze him in surprise. while holding his gaze, you place your free hand on his chest and press down firmly as you say, "down, boy." and he just melts into the couch, eyes closed and lips parted as he says, "can i have more?" and follows it a few seconds later with, "do you like this?" bc ofc he's sweet like that where he asks you if you're enjoying yourself even if you're the one blowing his mind.

(related to the second part of the audio) later on when the two of you are exploring certain sex dynamics, you have him laying in bed, propped up with some pillows and legs spread so he has a clear view of you jacking him off with a clear fleshlight. you've told him that he's not allowed to touch you, so he's shaking from barely being able to keep his hands to himself and how good the toy feels sucking him in, though he'd much prefer to feel you. his hands are by his sides clenching the sheets so tightly you're sure a few stitches have popped. you edge him until he's desperate, and then you let him cum. and then you keep going. his voice edges into a higher, desperate pitch as the overstimulation sets in, and he's whining about how he loves you so much, please make him cum again until he can't take it anymore. he starts becoming less coherent as he loses control, tossing his head back, chest heaving with his gasping breaths, and kicking his legs out as you force the slick toy to swallow his length over and over again. it's the first time he's been completely overwhelmed and has no idea what to do with himself, not being able to touch you or stop you (unless he gives you his safeword). you tease him by asking him if it feels good when you know he can't come up with a coherent response anymore, and even though he can't speak, he registers what you're saying to him and he feels his face and neck flush hot at the humiliation of being so out of his mind that he can't respond to you in words, just broken moans and gasps. when he cums again, he arches up off the mattress before sinking back into the sheets, limp and sated...or at least that's what you think, until he pulls you in with a hand on the back of your neck to kiss you and murmurs a sultry, "more?" against your lips.

this is long, hope it all sent!

rae's notes part deux: SO EVERYBODY, DID WE SURVIVE WHAT THIS BEAUTIFUL ANON SENT IN TO US? Again, Anon, if you don't want to reveal yourself, that's fine - just lemme know what emoji you want, baby, but ohmyGOD do i wanna be your friend this was SO FUCKING GOOD fhasdjfhasjkldfhdsjkfhsd!!!!!!!!!!

#ushijima #ushijima smut #😠: rae's wakatoshi wednesdays #rae's wakatoshi wednesday august 10 2022 #🎤: anonymous is recording vocals

[saizansha]

RULES.

RULE ONE.

do not reblog a meme from me unless you send it in. reblog the meme from the source. breaking this rule, since it’s literally the first, will result in an immediate hard block.

RULE TWO.

i do not write smut / lemon / suggestive content without plotting / several interactions prior. i avoid following / interacting with blogs that write excessive suggestive content, especially when it’s not tagged.

RULE THREE.

i am multiship, and each ship will always take place independently in it’s own verse unless stated otherwise with involved parties. this includes platonic and antagonistic relationships. i ship purely with chemistry and refuse to ship anything suggesting pedophilia / incest / etc. of any kind. i will not initiate a ship unless approached first about it.

RULE FOUR.

this blog is low activity / low maintenance, meaning i will simply get to what i get to as i want to. i have adhd, i’m autistic, and i have chronic fatigue, all while working a full-time job. i won’t always be here and i apologize for that. please be patient with me.

RULE FIVE.

i do not send in rule passwords / like rule posts / do any “confirmations if read” stipulations. it triggers my anxiety very badly. i will always re/read rules before: creating a starter, answering a starter, sending an ask / meme, IM’ing with questions / concerns - if i can find your rules to begin with. otherwise i normally IM to ask about rules if i can’t find them.

RULE SIX.

i am NOT mutuals exclusive; i am fandom exclusive. i will limit my follows / interactions to fandoms that pertain to my muse’s relevant story. i will write / interact with anyone as long as you have: a rules page, an easy navigation system, and information regarding muse(s) portrayed. lack of these resources will bar me from following / interacting. blogs that are active consecutively that have not followed back after a few days will be unfollowed. please do not take this personally. i will not interact with: “irl” portrayals (youtubers, etc),

RULE SEVEN.

rules may be adjusted as i see fit. general rp etiquette is expected. all icons and graphics are capped and edited by me and are not for sharing. do not steal or alter for your own claim. i will literally cry. no god modding, no killing w/out discussion, no drama, etc.. we should know how to behave on a public platform by now.

ABOUT MUN.

hi! i’m jaqi, i’m 26, and i’m an aries! my special interests are: pacific rim, blood+, labyrinth, and prodigal son! i love love love making new friends so come and chat sometime! <33​

#｡° ᅳ RULES.

[screechthemighty]

Didn't wait for an answer, here's a selection of the funniest random observations I made while reading a terrifying amount of Moon Knight last year:

Werewolf by Night #32:

I shouldn't be shocked seeing how I'm starting on the 32nd issue of an obscure comics character but I have. Zero clue what's going on.

"I've never been celibate when it comes to curiosity" why would you phrase it like that.

"Out to do my job and collect my bread" *thinks of the meme and tries not to scream-laugh in public*

Marvel Spotlight #28

This dude is really calling himself Conquer Lord and has an alligator pit, comics are WILD

Marvel Two-in-One #52

...he...he tried to kill me with a forklift...

Moon Knight #1

Marlene get it together damn

Okay no but actually Marc immediately getting up, rambling cryptic nonsense, stealing a cloak off a statue, and then running to kill a guy is so on brand.

Moon Knight #4:

"The flash blinded me!!" smug matt murdock laughter

Moon Knight 6:

"I don't much like Marc Spector" the more things change etc. etc. etc.

"Kill the Americans" *frenchie voice* EXCUSE YOU-

Moon Knight 7:

WE HAVE THE MUSTACHE LADIES AND GENTS, WE HAVE THE MUSTACHE

"Speaking of your precious pretty boy millionaire" JAKE PLEASE LMAOOO

Moon Knight 10:

Ah yes, a mental breakdown while soaking wet...classic.

"Emotionally turbulent public chauffeur" I am ONLY calling Jake that from now on

PLEASE NOT HIM ALAS POOR YORICK-ING ON A GARGOYLE...

Moon Knight 12:

What in the Russian Sleep Experiment is going on here on this day

Moon Knight 16:

Invoking Diana and Charles aged very badly lmao

Moon Knight 22:

How many car crashes has Frenchie been in this run?? Like three or four by now????

Moon Knight 27:

"What's the going price for a cop" JACOB LOCKLEY LMAO

NOT THE KINGPIN, MATT WHERE ARE YOU

"The Kingpin can wait until another day" *muffled matt voice* NO PLEASE HE'S YOUR PROBLEM NOW COME BACK

Moon Knight 28:

"If you're lucky, you don't wake for a week" PRETTY sure that's called a coma

"You both deserve a kiss" I can promise you, Khonshu does not

Moon Knight 34:

0/10 they made Gena cry

Moon Knight 35:

"The man's determination is both inspiring and frightening." That's it, that's the system.

Moon Knight 37:

"Bottled up hostility and fists, fists, fists." That's why you're not allowed to hang out with Daredevil

Fist of Khonshu 4:

I hate that this version of the mask has lips

Fist of Khonshu 6:

This run was kind of ass, full offense.

West Coast Avengers Collection:

Wait why are they putting Tony in a special tank for the suit...just take the suit???

PLEASE NOT CLEA FLIRTING WITH BEN FRANKLIN

Moon Knight doesn't show up until almost 80% of the way through, I want my money back.

"The Temple of Khonshu" ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP, YOU STUPID PIGEON

"Time has split in seven" please stop splitting time...

West Coast Avengers 31-37:

Marc voice: sorry babe, just dissociating and chatting with my moon god

I'm sorry, Doctor Doom Norted a boy?????

Marc: I have a plan *immediately gets beamed in the head by a mace* Tigra: Is...is that the plan?????

WAIT HE'S BEEN POSSESSED BY KHONSHU THIS WHOLE TIME???

Everyone: wow, ain't love grand Bobbi: I'm divorcing Clint

Marc Spector: Moon Knight 9

Okay as much as I like unkillable Marc, it is a little funny when he's walking around complaining about his ribs

Amazing Spider-Man 353-358

Midnight really does look like Eren Jaegar and it's distracting

Did Frank. Did Frank really just risk blowing his cover to make a pun.

Daken: Dark Wolverine 15:

"The fact that I may collapse any second from blood loss begs to differ" Marc I am begging you to get to a hospital.

Moon Knight (2014) - Wood Edition:

Marc showing up looking homeless with a dusting of his own blood = SO ON BRAND

AND THEN IMMEDIATELY GETTING HIS ASS KICKED Marc, never change

MARC SPECTOR HAVING A NORMAL ONE

Moon Knight (2016) - Lemire Edition:

FINALLY BACK BABY LET'S GO

I'm sorry but the fact that this IS all in Marc's head and he's remember his friends with such fondness is...I'm emo...

"I'm nothing without my friends, Gena" screaming crying frothing at the mouth etc.

"Maybe my job was just to get us here. Give you a chance to rest." SCREAMING. CRYING. ETC. ETC.

Absolutely hate that his "dying" thoughts are of his friends, Lemire I'm coming for you personally

"I'll see Gena. She'll know what to do." tries not to scream in public

"That's a very specific lead, Crawley" all of his leads are like that my dude

Steven just watching Anput bite that dude's throat like "oof sucks for that guy. anyway-"

Moon Knight (2017) - Suffering in the Bemis Run:

Oh she is about to make this so much worse.

OH YOU MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE

"The inspector holmes of kung fu madmen" what am I READING, what YEAR IS IT???

"Marc Spector can be overly confident" that's the first correct thing you've said all issue, dude

I don't like the use of "psychopath" as an insult but someone (presumably Steven or Jake but MAYBE Khonshu) putting Marlene in his phone as "let it go" IS pretty funny [Note from present me: My theory for this is that it was Steven, since as of the Mackay run only Marc and Jake still seem to have strong feelings for her.]

Kicking his flaming pants onto Sun King was definitely not beneath him. That's extremely on brand.

Guys I'm tired...

Doctor Strange Damnation:

"In, but out of his mind" oh this is already gonna get exhausting

"Try not to kill any of them. That means you, Knight" HI, HELLO, BLADE IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE, JOHNNY BURNS PEOPLES' SOULS OUT, WHY ARE YOU SINGLING HIM OUT???

I'M NOT GONNA READ GHOST RIDER TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE SHUT UP

Avengers: Age of Khonshu (oh boy):

Thor with baby! Thor with baby!!

"Consorting with moon wizards" STILL NOT THE WEIRDEST THING HE'S EVER DONE

"quivering chicken-god" HEY only we're allowed to call him that! (there is something weirdly wholesome about Marc taking the lead, though)

I've only had Robbie Reyes for five seconds but I'd commit a felony for him

YOU'RE ARRESTING KHONSHU???? YOU CAN'T ARREST KHONSHU???????

Okay update, I guess Thor can arrest Khonshu. I hope they go for the punishment of having Loki throw birdseed at him for the next couple thousand years.

T'Challa: You should join up with us now that we're done fighting. Marc, thinking about how everyone called him crazy BEFORE he did some dumb boneheaded shit, and how much worse it'll be now that he beat up Thor: Y'know what i'm GOOD, THANKS-

Moon Knight - MacKay Edition:

VAMPIRE MLM, TRULY THE FACE OF EVIL

Man, Marc is just trying to turn a new leaf, help some people, and people REALLY CANNOT JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE, HUH...militant atheists on one hand, religious extremists on the other, my dude needs a NAP

"You lost me at 'destroy our enemies' but I appreciate the effort" Reese I'd die for you I hope you know that

"And that makes us brothers" Marc this is why you've gotta start hanging out with Jake and Steven again, every other brother you've had has sucked lmao

"You know I can see in the dark, right?" "You know I can't, right?" D&D parties with the token human be like-

#screech reads moon knight #that sure was a time in my life #these aren't even all the random notes I took just the funny ones I had saved in a notes app

[feralshadowdemon]

i’ve realized that tumblr has absolutely zero clue about many of my bsd AUs and I have to change this, so you’re getting a post about one of my favorite ones

Port Mafia Kenji/Defenestration AU

(a bit of a spoiler warning for the cannibalism arc? not much of the actual plot of it is said though)

- Kenji joined the Port Mafia at ten years old, right around when Dazai left. 

- Kenji’s an Akutagawa. He wasn’t born into the Akutagawas, but at a young age he did manage to stumble across Gin and Akutagawa and he just stuck with them after that. 

- One of the most important factors to this AU was he was around with the Akutagawas when Dazai mentored his older brother. Which. was. yeah you know how badly that went

- Due to these events, Kenji has a burning hatred for Dazai (which made Chuuya immediately gain a liking to the kid)

- His mentor is Chuuya and they get along pretty well. He also maintains a good relationship with his two siblings and likes telling Akutagawa how cool he is and how much Kenji wants to be like him. Supportive little brother!! Yeahh!!

- Since Kenji is raised in the Port Mafia at a young age, he is very violent. Still cheery of course but, more terrifying and violent. 

- Kenji knows assassination tricks since he sat in on Gin’s training sessions, and yeah it did contribute to his violent nature and numbness to violence and dead bodies.

- Kyouka stays in the Port Mafia in this AU due to the fact she reminds Akutagawa of his little brother and he cannot hurt her without thinking of his little brother. Also yes Kenji technically adopted her as his sister. that contributed too.

- Since the Agency is minus two members in this AU (both Kenji and Kyouka being in the Port Mafia), eventually Poe and Lucy join the Agency, mainly to give it more equal fighting grounds but also because why not 

- Kenji has black hair in this AU. Not naturally black hair, but it’s dyed because he likes looking like his siblings. He also wears a vest in this AU

- He’s sadly lost his original family motto so he made one up instead:  "If someone annoys you, kill em!"

- At one point, Dazai takes Kenji along for a mission and Kenji has his first encounter with Fyodor. Kenji gets along with Fyodor because he ‘has a cool hat’ which terrifies Dazai severely, Fyodor takes note of this and purposely also gets along with Kenji to terrify Dazai. Yeah this AU contains a lot of dazai bullying but it’s fine

- In the Cannibalism Arc, while the Agency and Port Mafia are fighting, Kenji and Poe encounter each other. Instead of a dramatic fight, it turns into Kenji noticing Karl and taking a liking to the raccoon. As war breaks out around them they silently talk about raccoons, Poe being nervous about a small child touching Karl but he seems fine enough

here’s some memes of Defenestration to thank you for listening to my rambling:

edit: this AU has a fic now!

#bsd #bsd kenji #bsd au #bsd akutagawa #bsd dazai #bsd gin #bsd chuuya #bsd poe #bsd lucy #bsd kyouka #bsd fyodor #bungo stray dogs #originally this was just a port mafia!kenji AU but it spiraled out of control and i rammed a whole bus into the original timeline for bsd #i've driven the plot so off course but it's fine #do not ask what happens in the vampire arc. there are no vampires in ba sing se. #anyways yeah thats it thats the au #there is more but im saving it #Poe and Kenji friendship my beloved #also yeah fyodor and kenji become besties in terrifying dazai #defenestration kenji is either adopting people or terrifying them and there is no inbetween #defenestration au #port mafia kenji au #rambles about my bsd au(s) #oh wait i forgot atsushi #bsd atsushi

[captainfightingflower]

So i rolled my ankle REALLY badly while out for my run at around 6:20 (bad to the point where renting crutches is being considered), so i just decided to say f making polished sketches, and just decided to have fun drawing whatever Jackbox Games Characters i wanted without care for stuff like anatomy or superb accuracy for once.

Also, fun fact: i forgot to put in my signature traditionally (since i only ever tend to do that after coloring) so the grand majority of these sketches has my signature digitally imposed with Photopea.

Also also, just figured out how people put images side by side in these posts...man i learn something new everyday on this site!

So here’s some descriptions of what each sketch entails in case it’s not clear:

Sketch 1 & 2: A little two-panel gag comic based on the fact that Rue’s facial features can just float whenever she pleases (featuring Bubz...mostly so i could make an excuse to draw the desk).

Sketch 3: Several of the animal hosts put into a single bunch with the text “la créturas” since i really like that set of words specifically! This features Mayonnaise being there, Professor Nanners T-posing like those shitposts where there’s always some 3D fellow t-posing over the horizons, Knack the frog pogging at the Geneva convention & the Tournament Dragon liking his own nostrils.

Sketch 4: The Wheel of Enormous Proportions dumping the water from M. Bubbles’ jug onto it’s face while their headless body stands by.

Sketch 5: Rue unknowingly talking to the Phoney Wheel of Enormous Proportions for 5 hours based on that one meme of a guy talking to a brick wall.

Sketch 6: Octoputtz saying “It’s as shrimple as that!” because A. it’s a meme, and B. he would 100% say something like that.

Sketch 7: Captain Chuck offering you some funny, partially inspired by Morshu, while gripping the supposed haha man a bit too hard.

Sketch 8: The thumbprints from Clone Booth take out the Dodecahedron from DODE, inspired by that one stock image of a guy stealing a wheel from a person’s wheelchair while they are still on it, as well as partially inspired by another sketch i made referencing the Yankee with no brim meme.

Sketch 9 & 10: A slightly modified redraw a draw the squad comic “Sometimes i wonder how i taste” featuring Gavin & Meegan

Sketch 11: A hi-res sketch of Meegan originally created for the previous prompt.

Sketch 12: Mick/Jackhead in their Jackbox Party Club attire, inspired by Sonic Archie Comic panel edit “Alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic” that was originally going to have text accompanying it.

Sketch 13: Human from Zeeple Dome waving their flags aggressively, inspired by that one clip of a lady doing the same thing (i cannot explain this better i am sorry).

Sketch 14: Cookie Masterson eating his Dunkin’ order when you tell him to fuck off in Movies.

Sketch 15: An alien from Push the Button.

Sketch 16: An attempted realistic bust of the design for the green human on the Zeeple Dome menu select’s box art.

Sketch 17: The green & red humans from the Zeeple Dome box art, with the red one nearly avoiding an alien tentacle.

Honestly, very freeing thing for me to do, i’m surprised i don’t sketch my heart out like this more often! (but i could do without the pain in my leg, honesty)

#Jackbox games #the jackbox party packs #traditional sketches #meme redraw #comic panel #tw: fantasy human consumption #roomerang #job job #split the room #nonsensory #junktopia #tee K.O. #The Wheel of Enormous Proportions #word puttz #joke boat #clone booth #push the button #bomb corp. #zeeple dome #you don't know jack: movies #jellyvision

[heartofstanding]

Defaming the dead and other historical fiction problems...

(cw: discussions of misogyny, homophobia, rape, ableism, slut-shaming, xenophobia, incest, abuse, child sex abuse and grooming. If a shitty histfic novel has invoked it, I'll probably mention it. also some hyperbole.)

The "Don't Defame The Dead" movement/campaign was pretty strong in the early 2010s and came as a response to some... pretty horrendous historical fiction, probably best typified by Philippa Gregory and her imitators. You know, the protagonist is a saint and anyone who opposes them is horrifically evil and the (typically female) protagonist is subjected to torture porn and forced into a Madonna/Whore, Good Girl/Bad Girl dichotomy with another woman?

Mostly, "Don't Defame The Dead" was invoked in reviews and discussions but there were also a handful of blog posts that featured memes in which the "defamed" historical figure answered back to these "accusations" via the means of an memed ecard, like so:

For a time, I was fully on board with it. I had the same frustrations with bad historical fiction. A novel would take a historical figure I was interested in and make them into the irredeemably evil baddie and I hated it. Here was a way to answer back that was used by some of the people I respected most in the histfic circles I was lurking in. And the edits framed the movement in easy terms. It was a matter of historical accuracy. It was all lies. It was also a matter of morality. The dead can't answer back and how would we feel if we were depicted like that?

But then I got off the Don't Defame The Dead train and started thinking it through and I didn't like it.

So, couple of things:

I'm probably exaggerating the size and strength of the "Don't Defame the Dead" campaign. It did have a big impact on me, though.

I certainly understand the logic and motivation behind it. I'm not by any means defending the shitty novels that inspired it or saying that they're OK and the anger/disgust/upset caused by them isn't real.

Because this is tumblr, yeah, legally speaking, you can't defame the dead. No one ever claimed it was a legal argument. It was probably the best snappy one-liner around.

Don't Defame My Favourite Dead Guy

We’ve all got historical figures we’re attached to enough that a "bad" or offensive depiction is upsetting. It's natural that there are some figures we're going to be far more sensitive about and figures that we don't like and don't care if they're beaten with the villain stick within an inch of their lives. And obviously, how well someone picks up on whether a figure is "defamed" is going to be dependent on how well they know that time period and how much they care. Someone who is in the weeds of the reign of Henry VIII is going to have a lot more opinions about what counts as "defamation" in a novel about Anne Boleyn than they would in a novel about the Roman Emperor Nero. And, depending on who their favourite wife is, what they think happened and how much they buy into the six wives stan wars, they're going to have a different idea of who is defamed, how badly they're defamed and how they're being defamed. I'm not above the feeling either: you can beat Cardinal Henry Beaufort to a second death with the villain stick and I won't even blink. But so much as raise the villain stick vaguely in the direction of Mary de Bohun and my hackles will start to rise. The point is, it's all understandable and natural to have these kind of reactions.

But it's hard to take "don't defame the dead" seriously when you see this kind of reaction in the very people promoting it. If "defaming" the dead is as immoral as they say, they should be up in arms about all "defamation", not just when it's their fave or reflects badly on their fave. And yet you could see the same bloggers basically renacting the "I can excuse (blank) but I draw the line at (blank)" meme. I can excuse misogynist vitriol against Margaret of Anjou but I draw the line at depicting Richard III being anything but a smol bean. I can excuse slut-shaming Katherine Howard but draw the line at slut-shaming Anne Boleyn. I can excuse Hugh Despenser being depicted as a rapist but I draw the line at Edward II being complicit in it.

(yes, this is a real Don't Defame The Dead card, I didn't make it.)

How does one "defame the dead"?

If it's not already clear, I'm not exactly comfortable with labelling bad depictions as "defamation". It's a term meant to induce an emotional response, a sense of this is serious but I don't think it always is serious. I'm sticking with the terminology though because that's what the campaign used and I can't think of a snappier replacement.

But if we're worried about the defaming the dead, how do we define defamation and who decides what is or is not defamation?

Period-attitudes? Because while we might not have an individual's own feelings and thoughts on the matter, we can use the general attitudes of the period to assume how they would have reacted? Um, no. It's a stupid-ass approach. Firstly, we rarely know how closely an individual hewed to societal conventions and beliefs. Secondly, period-typical attitudes usually contain masses of racism, xenophobia, misogyny, classism, homophobia and other biases. That way lies "well medieval anti-sodomy rhetoric means saying Richard II was queer is a smear!" and worse.

What about historical accuracy and most likely scenarios? Is that a good guideline? Well, yes and no (I talk about the evidence problem a lot more below). What about the author's intention, does that matter? Or is the reader the arbitrator? If so, how do we get past the problem that everyone will have a different idea of is "historically accurate" and what counts as defamatory? What if what is called "defamation" is just a way of the reader expressing their own bigotry and/or bias?

This one of the cards made by Edward II historian Kathryn Warner, referring to the trope first popularised by Braveheart in which Edward III is a ~secret bastard~ of an affair Isabella of France had, though who the "real father" is varies. It's a stupid trope, based in homophobia (because a gay king couldn't possibly father a warrior king) and sometimes misogyny (Isabella is reduced to the vehicle through which Wallace avenges himself on England in Braveheart or depicted as a slut). But most often, it seems to be intended to show Isabella acting with agency, forging her own path in attempt to find happiness despite an unloving husband and, in some measure, triumphing over the Patriarchy™ because her son by choice ends up as the next king. If intention matters, then it's not meant to be "defamatory" to Isabella. It's still grossly homophobic, dumb and defamatory to Edward II. But Isabella? No.

The same logic that Warner argues makes it defamatory to Isabella could also be applied to some of Warner’s own arguments to other women. She speculates that Edward II had an incestuous affair with his own niece but doesn't seem to be upset about the possibility of Eleanor de Clare's adultery (it's also interesting to compare her neutrality on uncle-niece incest with her her older posts where she declares how disgusting Philippa Gregory's depiction of Anne Boleyn committing incest with her brother is). Elsewhere, Warner argues that Joan of Kent did not marry Thomas Holland before she married William Montagu but fell in "love or lust" with Holland during her Montagu marriage, had an affair with him and together cooked up an plan where they would both untruthfully claim to have married earlier so her marriage to Montagu would be annulled and she could safely hook up with Holland. Therefore, the annulment was never legitimate, she was never legally married to Holland or to the Black Prince and her children with both these men were all bastards, including Richard II.

Therefore Warner’s Joan is an lying adulteress who foists a bastard onto the throne. The evidence for such a claim is lacking and seems largely based on the confused anecdote that Holland may or may not have served Montagu as a steward at a time Joan may or may not have been living with Montagu and that it’s “odd” that neither Joan or Holland spoke up about their marriage before her Montagu marriage. Warner’s intention with this is ostensibly to show Joan as a strong woman acting with agency to get what she wants – the same intention that seems to be at the core of depicting Isabella as an adulteress. Why is one defamatory and one not? Yes, the traditional view of Joan is disturbing for its depiction of a love story between a 13 year old girl and a 26 year old man but it’s a bizarre choice to “correct” this fucked up over-romanticism by arguing instead that the woman who would otherwise be the victim of CSA just lied about her experiences and was actually an adulteress who foisted a bastard on the throne. Because it's "odd" she didn't speak up by her Holland marriage earlier or that Holland not speaking up is out of character from a man who was the "furtherest thing" from a coward. All of this could be explained by the fairly well-known dynamics of child-grooming and abuse but apparently it makes more "sense" for Joan to be an lying adulteress.

And that's not defamatory to Joan at all. Right? But making Isabella an adulteress is defamatory. Right?

Right?

R-E-S-P-E-CT.

"Don't Defame The Dead" frames “defamation” as first and foremost disrespectful to the dead people involved and that alone makes the depiction irredeemably offensive and immoral. But to me the real issue with bad depictions is not whether they're "disrespectful" to the person or that it treats them "offensively" but the way they often perpetuate narratives of misogyny, racism, classism, xenophobia, antisemitism, fatphobia, transphobia, body shaming, ableism, slut-shaming and so on. Or that they use rape and abuse as a cheap plot device and/or titillation, or that they use past tragedies and oppression as a cheap points-scoring device.

And of course all these things can intersect: Depictions of Margaret of Anjou usually heavily emphasise her identity as a Frenchwoman (xenophobia), the way she is a subversive woman who doesn't know her place (misogyny), and her dangerous sexuality (slut-shaming). Depictions of Eleanor Cobham keep the misogyny and slut-shaming but swap out the xenophobia for classism (she's a gold-digging slut who won't stay in her rightful place, which is typically defined as Catherine de Valois's vast social inferior).

The most offensive and harmful thing about the idea that Edward II ‘let’ Hugh Despenser rape Isabella of France is not that it’s disrespectful to any of the parties involved but the homophobia in depicting a queer man as a sexually depraved rapist and the salacious, cheap use of rape. By a similar token, what is most offensive and harmful today about the idea that Margaret of Anjou’s alleged adultery and Edward of Lancaster’s alleged bastardy is not what it says about Margaret, Edward or Henry VI but the misogyny involved in depicting Margaret as a sex-hungry and power-hungry slut and hypocrite and the ableism involved in presenting Henry VI as being incapable of fathering a child and lacking in awareness to realise what Margaret has done (it is possible to write this scenario in a "good" way (i.e. a choice made by Margaret and Henry together) but afaik no one has ever written it). Edward II, Despenser, Isabella, Margaret, Henry and Edward of Lancaster are all long dead. But issues like ableism, misogyny, homophobia and the salacious use of rape still cause massive harm today to living people and these depictions reinforce these ideas.

The “don’t defame the dead” campaign also frequently framed the defamations as bad by asking how “you” would feel if these things were said about you. Well, yeah, it would be incredibly hurtful for myself and my loved ones to be the subject of these defamations. But the comparison is inherently a false equivalency. The campaign was primarily about individuals in the medieval and early modern periods. Everyone is long dead. Everyone who ever knew them to care about their feelings have been dead for centuries. What does it matter how they would feel about how they're depicted or what's said about them and the people they knew? They're beyond knowing or caring.

To frame bad depictions as a matter of respect requires a question: why should we respect the dead? I’m not saying that there are not historical figures worthy of respect because there absolutely are but instead querying the basic idea that being dead makes you automatically worthy of respect. The campaign argues that the dead should not be disrespected or “defamed” because that every single one of them was human, that we should think about how we would feel if that was us and that they’re dead and unable to answer back.

Sure, we should remember when we’re writing historical fiction that everyone was human, not cartoon caricatures and cardboard cut-outs, but the idea that being human or dead makes someone deserving of respect is... nope. There are people who deserve exactly zero respect, whether living or dead, and I'm fucked if I'm going to give it to them.

Don't Do That.

I realise by framing this as "it doesn't matter what's said about the dead, what matters is the harmful ideas behind it", I am inviting a never-ending piss-contest about which "defamation" actually perpetuates the most harm. Don't do that. That's fucking stupid. It only makes the Ricardians vs Tudorite wars worse to make it about ableism vs xenophobia. I don't even belong to the Tudor fandom but I've seen it descend into this shitfuckery.

It's entirely possible to recognise the harmful rhetoric at play in "bad depictions" without making it a pissing competition about which historical figure has it worse and which prejudice is worse and that prejudice is worst than the other which means the other doesn't really matter. It is possible to hate both the xenophobia underlying depictions of Margaret of Anjou and the classism in bad depictions of the Woodvilles without wanking over which one is worse.

And for love of god, we need to stop conflating "I don't like/agree with this thing" as "and therefore it is morally wrong" or "and therefore it is more morally wrong than the things I do like/agree with".

The Get Out Of Defamation Jail Free Card

Do you have evidence for your depiction of that person? No? Go to Defamation Jail. Go directly to Defamation Jail, do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Now think about how you would feel if that had been you depicted like that.

Oh, you do have evidence? Well, let's see, I care about the person you defamed so I'm going to go over it with a fine-toothed comb. I'll hit the archives if I must.

Actually, I don't care and I don't know much about the person, I just need to see a citation and you're good to go.

So, if evidence gets you out of Defamation Jail, what counts as evidence and who decides if it counts as evidence or not?

Is it enough to have the work of a historian as the basis behind your depiction? That can be evidence. But what if the work is outdated or not widely accepted or written by a crank? Does someone writing a novel about Elizabeth Woodville based on John Ashdown-Hill's biography of her, dripping in virulent misogyny and bizarre and unevidenced claims as it is, get a pass for defaming the dead? After all, a historian wrote the book they're working from. The answer, btw, is "oh my god, no". But that supposes I know enough to know how vile the biography is. Suppose I don't and I assume he's a reliable, non-biased historian? I'd probably go "ok, well, I guess that's what she was really like".

And what if the evidence that a historian's work can provide is in an entirely different context? If someone is consistently described as violent and vindictive in his role as a landowner but there's no evidence of his relationship with his family, is it defamatory to depict him as abusive to his wife and children? I don't have evidence that he was... but I also don't have evidence that he wasn't... and do we really expect to have evidence of this? ...the evidence does suggests he was a quite a nasty man... but I can't defame the dead...

Well, what about historical records? Is that enough to clear an author of a charge of defamation? Again, it really depends on whether the reviewer has enough knowledge to judge whether the record has issues or not: is it a sceptical report that's treated as 10000% legitimate? Hagiography? Propaganda or counter-propaganda? Do we contend with the fact that a lot of historical records were written by educated, religious white men, that women's own writings were a comparative rarity and (until relatively recently) often filtered through a man (i.e. a transcriber, a publisher, an editor), that marginalised identities are often treated as a curiosity or moral lesson?

And is OK to depict women like Alice Perrers, Eleanor Cobham and Margaret of Anjou as evil bitches because chroniclers universally dunked on them, never mind the misogynist, classist, xenophobic and/or factional bias in the records, and only a few historians - often in academic circles - have been interested in trying to challenge these interpretations while many, many more have uncritically regurgitated them up and ladled on more misogyny, classism and xenophobia?

What about the reviewer/blogger's own biases? The Don't Defame The Dead crowd were big on historical accuracy. Things had to be "accurate" or, failing that, the most likely scenario, which typically meant Occam's Razor and statistical likelihoods were to be used. But the thing is, while useful tools, history and individuals are never just what statistics and Occam's Razor would tell us they were. It also means marginalised lives or marginalised parts of life tend to stay in the margins because we lack "proof" that they existed. Statistics are also not as infallible as they might seem. Are we applying them or an individualistic or population basis? And modern population statistics are based on modern ways of categorising and identifying people. To project it back at the past means we assume that the past had the same categories and identities that we do and that's not always the case.

New discoveries and research can undercover things that utterly destroy what is considered the "most likely scenario". The histography of Tutankhamun is full of this but perhaps the most dramatic is this: until his tomb and mummy were discovered in the 1920s, it was believed he was an older politician who came to the throne after the main dynasty had gone extinct. It was not considered likely he was the son of one of the preceding pharaohs. A novel written about him pre-1922 according to what was "most likely" would now be considered laughably inaccurate. A novel written today based on what's viewed as "most likely" would be considered laughably inaccurate back then.

Murder at the Defamation Court

Let's say I want to write a novel about the murder in the Princes of the Tower. I already hear some Ricardians hissing because I said they were murdered, not they escaped or were spirited away somewhere safe and that's defamation enough. But I need to decide who murdered them. Even I don't end up revealing whodunnit in the novel, I should probably know for the sake of writing a good mystery novel.

I first circle over to Richard III as the culprit. I've got a few historians who say he did it, a few more that say he is the most probable murderer and a few more that say he must have been complicit in the murders, whether or not he did it or not. I've got some contemporary-ish writers who report that it was widely believed that Richard was behind it. Ricardians would say, despite it all, I've bought into Tudor Propaganda™ and I'm defaming Richard III. It might make a good story (just ask Shakespeare) but the defamation makes it a no-go (just ask the Shakespeare professionals getting hate mail from Ricardians).

I discard him as a culprit and start examining the other suspects, put forward by Ricardians (some of them good historians, some of them cranks, but, whatever, a citation is a citation). I examine Margaret Beaufort, Henry VII, the Duke of Buckingham, Jane Shore and a bunch more. But the historical evidence just isn't there. All the theories are just based on evidence that basically requires you to build a castle in the air out of speculation. One of the alternatives might make a good story but there's no evidence for it.

In short, there's not enough evidence to convict Richard III, Margaret Beaufort, Henry VII or Buckingham etc. etc. for murder but there is enough to convict me of defaming the dead.

In desperation, I ponder whether it's possible to write this novel without accusing anyone of murder. I hit upon the solution. What if the Princes aren't murdered after all? Maybe rocks fall and they die. Or what if I create an entirely fictional character to commit the murders though? The dead won't be defamed and with a fictional character, I can make up whatever motivation I want.

But isn't that kind of a bad story telling choice? If you read a good novel about a historical murder mystery and you believed the solution, wouldn't you feel absolutely cheated if you came to the author's note and found out a large part of the book - a vital part, some would say - were entirely fictional because the author couldn't dare to defame the dead?

What we require evidence of.

A decent amount of the cards focused on depictions of historical figures as rapists and abusers. To be perfectly clear, I’m not defending those depictions, I haven't read them all but I suspect most of them have as much sensitivity as a sledgehammer. I've talked about the depiction of rape in historical fiction in-depth before here so I'm not going to make this post even longer by summarising that post. The point is: historical fiction has a massive problem with depicting rape. And of course no one wants to see their favourite dead person depicted as unforgivable rapist or abuser.

But I don't think the right solution to this problem is to demand that an author either has evidence (and clear, definitive evidence - if it's speculative, we must give the dead "the benefit of the doubt") or else never depict rape or abuse in their historical fiction novels.

Look, we know the issues about "proving" rape and abuse in our own modern society with all the benefits of progressive social movements and modern medicine. We know that the stricter gender and/or class roles, the commonality of violence and concepts like "the marital debt" in historical times would have further stifled discussion of rape and abuse. We also know that very few in society had the means or ability to record their story. So we shouldn't necessarily expect to have evidence of rape, much less clear and definitive evidence.

And we need only look to to the appalling ways some Chaucer scholars have talked about Cecily Chaumpaigne or Warner's treatment of Joan of Kent or the Gille de Rais apologists to see the ways in which evidence of rape and abuse is challenged and dismissed, even by historians presenting themselves as progressive (the Chaucer-Chaumpaigne case turned out not to have been about rape at all but is a very, very recent discovery).

There is also important work being done by scholars on rape and abuse in history (for the medieval period, see Carissa M. Harris, Caroline Dunn and Dyan Elliott) and no doubt what they uncover is just the tip of the iceberg. Some recent work on medieval mistresses takes the time and care to point out the massive power differentials between a mistress and her noble lover and how, while we can sometimes have a good idea at how her lover felt about her, we have no idea at all how she felt about him or her situation.

It's absolutely important to talk about the way histfic uses rape and abuse in cheap, ugly ways and it's absolutely justified to be upset by it. But I don't think the answer is to demand an author either has perfect evidence or never write about rape or abuse. There are plenty of novels that do depict rape and abuse sensitively and I don't think we should throw out the baby with the bathwater. If someone wants to write a sensitive, thoughtful depiction of what it would be like for a person - even a real medieval monarch or noble - to be the victim of abuse or rape, I don't think we should demand they bring "proof" of their depiction or not write it all. And I say that meaning: yes, even if it makes one of my faves a rapist or abuser. I don't have to read that book. I might be mad about it but I don't have to read it.

Writing While Not Defaming The Dead

The whole “don’t defame the dead” campaign is understandable and was an attempt to address an issue with bad historical fiction. But it doesn't really work. I don't know if I respect any medieval king - I can feel sympathy for them, I can get annoyed by bad depictions of them, I can be fascinated by them. But I don't know if I respect them and I don't know if "respect" is a good thing for an author or historian to have if it means they hold their subject in awe and try to find a sympathetic explanation for everything they do, especially if it negatively affects how they see their subject's contemporaries.

It gives a seemingly rigid rule for storytelling when things are much more shakier than it seems. What counts as defamation? What counts as evidence? What sort of evidence is enough? Who gets to decide what is accurate and what is defamation? And the thing is: sometimes the stories we want to tell are bigger than what the historical record gives us evidence for. Sometimes the stories we want to tell are more important than the reputation of a dead person.

And using it as a guide for writing, some of it is good advice (a reminder that they were all human and real - fairly basic but then historical fiction fails this one fairly often) and some is not necessarily good advice.

No, I don't know what Edward II and Isabella of France's sex life was like. No one does. I know this is referring to various homophobic, misogynist and grotesque depictions of their sex life and it's fair to be upset about that. But it's weird to see a post primarily about historical fiction frame it "don't pretend you know" about their sex life. I'm a fiction writer, my job is pretending to know.

Sure, authors shouldn't publish a sex scene they've written with their hand down their pants* and they should be careful about how they approach depicting sex. Sure some sex scenes can be "disrespectful" (i.e. written with hands down pants) or bad but they're not all horrific. And no, I don't count rape scenes as sex scenes. But it's kinda their job as an author of fiction to work out their characters' sex lives (if their characters are having sex), even if they're based on real historical people. It's their job to work out the bits of their characters for which there is no evidence to tell. Sex is a normal, everyday part of life for a lot of people, past and present. It shouldn't be scrubbed out of historical fiction because it might lack "evidence" and we can't "know" what happened or it be construed as "disrespectful" to dead.

But despite all the words I've written criticising the concept of Don't Defame the Dead, I can't quite let go of it. There are times where I've read a shitty histfic novel and wanted to stamp the words all over the book. I don't want to be an author that causes a reader to have that reaction. I also know it's inevitable I will.

As a writer myself, I think about things. I find myself going in directions that would be considered "defamatory". Wouldn't it be cathartic if I wrote a novel about Eleanor Cobham as a good, perfect, sweet woman who is mercilessly menaced by Catherine de Valois in revenge for so many Catherine novels that demonised Eleanor? What if I depict a character's father as abusive when I don't have evidence he was? What if I decide to explore the issues around consent that a mistress might face even though we have no idea whether she consented freely or not? And apart from the first one (it's kinda baked into the concept - "write a shitty histfic novel in revenge for other shitty histfic novels" and anyway I've abandoned that impulse), I know I would handle these subjects sensitively, that I wouldn't make it a case of bogeymans and perfect victims. But in the back of my head, I hear DON'T DEFAME THE DEAD. And I wonder if I should and ultimately suppress the urge.

*unless it's on AO3.

Postscript.

Where we encounter historical fiction also primes us for how we react to it. I react very differently to someone writing whump or smut fic and posting it on AO3 or tumblr than I do encountering something that is basically whump fic or smut in a historical novel. So I feel like it needs to be said that it's absolutely okay to write whump and/or smut. They can be fun and cathartic or just plain hot. It's absolutely OK to share it on tumblr or AO3. But it's another thing to publish them in a "serious" historical fiction novel and go around talking about how the novel is based on serious research and absolutely what happened and also they're empowering feminist stories that are oh so important.

#tw rape #tw csa mention #tw abuse #tw child grooming #text posts #historical fiction venting #historical fiction

[flameblessed]

RULES

Hello, my name is topaz. I am 25+ and he/they. I run several other blogs, including ones in this space. I work full-time and am disabled so I may not always be active. If you rush me for replies, I will not want to write with you. As someone with serious chronic conditions, there are times in which I will be unable to reply. If this is something you cannot tolerate in an rp partner, we may not be compatible. In addition, I tend to prefer longer replies bordering on novella and so even if I do not intend for a thread to get long, it may. This blog is multi-verse and multi-ship. Mains get priority but I am not exclusive.

Recently, there was an incident involving a former friend of mine in which he behaved very very strangely and cruelly to me. His name is Jay and/or JJ and he was not happy when i put him into a DNI after he hurt me very badly. He tried to make a callout about me to twist what he did and act like the victim. I never saw the post itself because I cannot stand to look at his blog. He has since deleted his blog but he did make a callout in an attempt to paint me as cruel and manipulative for my reactions to him. I posted a DNI about him in my rules, and when his friends continued to attempt to follow me, I made this post in which i continued to push that I wanted no crossover in our circles. Following that he made the callout in which I was told he edited our messages and only put parts he could use to paint his own narrative. After trying to hurt me further with this action, he deleted his blog. This is my response to him at the time. Mind you, I had him blocked but according to people who were still mutuals with him at the time, he was posting responses to my claims as if he could see my blogs. Which meant either he was block evading or having someone give him updates. Either way, the idea that he is still able to see my blogs made me incredibly uncomfortable. He hurt a lot of people. I am not his only victim. I DO NOT WANT ANYONE THAT INTERACTS WITH HIM NEAR ME. I do not care how minor the connection is. I cannot feel safe here so long as I feel he can see me. His blogs were ifri/tma/de (deleted), tales/wr/itt/en, baldu/rm/ad/e, and s/tori/esu/ng. Please be safe friends. I am not the type of person to do this type of thing, but sometimes people put you in situations. I will not discuss him further in public. I am happy for all of the supportive anons I got. They made me feel less crazy. If you do have any questions or concerns, you can speak with me privately. I do not want my blog to be all talking about him.

PERSONAL BLOGS: do not reblog ic posts, headcanons, or answers to asks. i will tag posts with ‘ok to rb’ if anyone can reblog them. please respect this. 

This blog is mutuals-only. If your rp account is a sideblog connected to a personal, please send me a message telling me so I know about the side blog. it may take me a little while to follow back because I am incredibly anxious because of everything that happened.

Multi-muse blogs, I love you guys. All I ask is to please specify your muses when you try to interact with me with starter calls or memes. You can send as many muses as you want.

I don't follow back or interact with fandoms I am not familiar with usually. Apologies about that! I have only played like 3 FF games. And only XIV and XVI since I've been old enough to actually process media.

Very OC friendly. I have an oc and I love him. I will lovingly stare at your oc and cradle them in my arms.

You can ALWAYS continue an answer as a thread. You can ALWAYS send me the ask. PLEASE. I want to write with you. Do not doubt this please. I also do not care if you reblog from me or the source on any NON memes. So for musings and aesthetics or whatever, you can reblog from me.

If you are anti-lgbt+, homophobic/biphobic/transphobic, racist, sexist, or ableist, kindly fuck off. I am a disabled queer and I am not going to keep my anger quiet for the sake of your comfort. Honestly, not interested in interacting with anyone who is"right-leaning". LMAO. I also do not like people that constantly vague blog about others. Or put others down to prop themselves up.

This blog is highly headcanon-based. I only really am married to the lore within the game and not in side material or lore books. There is some I keep but most I don't care about.

I am not ship-exclusive. It is difficult for me to even be exclusive with certain characters since Clive is more or less in a canon relationship with Jill. I won't push this relationship on anyone outside of Clive having very strong feelings for her. But yeah, I am not ship-exclusive. Especially not with canon ships. I WILL however be exclusive in terms of shipping with certain characters. I cannot really see myself shipping with any other Cids than my main one.

In terms of mains, they always get priority. These are typically people that I have ooc connections with or generally just really trust and have meshed with.

These rules are subject to change!

#rules #✶ — › 𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗔 — ⌜ out of character.⌟ #/// long post