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javigutierrez · 3 months

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Are you alright, Honey?

Javi Gutierrez x afab!reader oneshot

Summary: You’re going on a long weekend with your gorgeous new boyfriend, and after a day of unresolved sexual tension out on a roadtrip you’re ready to jump him the second you get home. Unless he finds a movie at the gas station he had been looking for for years and he wants to watch it with you. Will you be able to mask your desire for him, to enjoy a movie that means so much to him? (Spoiler alert no you won’t)

Rating & Word count: Explicit | ~8500 words

Warnings/tags: fluffffff, freshly established relationship, pining like whoa, very explicit smut, f!oral, f!fingering, tons of nipple play, non-penetrative sex (sumata ig?), unprotected penetrative sex, multiple orgasms, allusions to squirting, pleasure dom!Javi vibes, tw alcohol, tw food mention, Javi is a major dumb of ass but he makes up for it, reader has female genitalia, some boobs, and long enough hair to tuck it behind their ear but no other descriptions (let me know if you find anything else!), no age references

A/N: Here it is, after years of contemplating I'm posting my first fanfic in 12 years and my first fanfic in English ever. Please be kind, English is not my first language ❤ This is a huge thing to me, and I wouldn't have been able to get there without the help and encouragement of my lovely friends - I owe a kidney to @psychedelic-ink and @shellshocklove for their tremendous help as my betas, and to @iamasaddie @perotovar @chronically-ghosted @wannab-urs for listening to my bitching and moaning along the way and still staying my loyal cheerleaders 🥺 The whole idea popped into my mind like a movie while editing this gifset (which was inspired by @prolix-yuy’s Javi story, so special thanks to LJ 🥰), that 5th gif corrupting my mind for the next 2,5 months and this was the only way I could finally get it out of my system. 🤡 I hope you'll enjoy it! ❤

This was quite an eventful day. You spent your whole day out with Javi, having a road trip at Côte d’Azur. After a little bit more than a month of dating you had decided to go on a long weekend together, choosing the French coastlines. You had been absolutely amazed by the experience; clear azure waves embracing golden shores, the streets of seaside towns winding through history with beautiful architecture and warm colours, mountain tops lurking on the horizon behind the town. After Javi had told you he would get you into the Cannes movie festival, you were already talking about coming back for a few days.

The sights were unbelievable and the food was delectable, but what really made the trip unforgettable was your new boyfriend. Spending time with Javi was so easy. With him, all your anxiety washed away - his sweet and caring personality was like a soothing balm for your soul, and with his fun-loving side, you really felt like living your life to the fullest. Not to mention how he showed his true colors in the bedroom. Absolutely devoted to your pleasure, he could be worshipping you, making you feel like a goddess, other times he would make you beg, then shower you with praises while he was giving you exactly what you needed. Who would have thought only a few weeks before, when you had started chatting with a stranger waiting in line at the cinema, that he would sweep you off of your feet almost immediately and turn your life upside down in the best way possible?

There you were right now, coming home from another amazing day spent with him, laughing with him, staring at his profile while he was driving, smoothing out his sun-bleached locks tangled up by the wind in the cabrio while he was looking at you all doe-eyed and dopey-smiled. You were holding his hand, feeling his hand on your bare thigh, resting at the hem of your bunched-up sundress comfortably and sometimes you had caught him looking at you with the same intensity. It was safe to say, by the time you got in the car to get home you were ready to jump him.

There was only one tiny thing you hadn’t calculated for when you had been planning your night (or rather imagining it dreamily from all angles): finding a DVD at a gas station. When his eyes fell on the item, he’d looked confused for a few seconds, but then taking it from the shelf and reading the cover his face lit up like a child’s in a candy store.

As it turned out, it was an indie French movie he had watched with his parents back when he was young and they had been on a holiday. They had rarely spent quality time together, so he cherished those few occasions he’d felt like he belonged to an ordinary, loving family. He remembered the time fondly and he always wanted to find the movie because of the nostalgia of it all, but he had forgotten the title and didn’t know the actors, so after a lot of unsuccessful attempts, he’d given up trying.

“Can we watch this tonight? Please?” He looked at you with big brown eyes, enveloping the DVD in his hands, (dwarfing it, really) and pressing it to his heart. And how could you say no to him? If he looked at you like that, you would have agreed to watch a 10-hour-long film about paint drying on a wall.

“Of course, Javi,” you smiled at him gently, your heart melting from his child-like joy as you watched him gallop to the cashier to pay for the gas and the DVD. You pushed the slight disappointment of not being able to climb this gorgeous goofball of a man as soon as you get home, to the back of your mind.

At the end of the day, you were genuinely happy to just spend time with him. You blamed your hormones and the fact that you were still in the honeymoon phase for being pent up all day. You couldn’t help it, but you are a big girl in an adult relationship, you decided, you can have one night without having sex with this tall, broad, gentle but surprisingly strong, passionate, generous, highly skilled–

“Let’s go!” he urged you with an adorable grin and shining eyes, grabbing your hand and tugging you out of the gas station. Your heart swelled from the sight. Yes, you can have a peaceful night if it makes him happy, and you will be just as hyped to watch the movie as him. It did seem like a good movie based on the cover, and you knew it meant the world to him, so you wouldn’t spoil his fun with your neediness.

By the time you got back to your rented house, it was already dark, and the early autumn weather had gotten a bit more chilly. Javi practically jumped out of the car (but still rushed to your side to open your door).

You agreed that you would prepare the snacks and set up the TV, while he would start the fireplace and get a bottle of wine from the cellar. He gave you a soft peck on your lips, one hand resting on the back of your neck, then he pretty much ran to the cellar - you think you even heard him giggling on his way. His enthusiasm was infectious, even though you’d never even heard about the movie before, now you were excited to watch it.

When you found out how to get the DVD to work Javi was already tinkling with the logs on the fireplace, a bottle of wine with two glasses on the kitchen counter already. You let yourself get lost in the sight for a good minute, your cavewoman brain activated by looking at him focusing on his task with his arms flexing, but then you shook yourself from your reveries, going to the American-style kitchen to put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and wash some grapes, then putting the wine on the coffee table next to the couch.

You couldn’t help but steal a few more glances at him. His short-sleeved shirt was now unbuttoned, hanging on his shoulders and your eyes fell on his white tank top straining over his torso. He seemed especially broad like this, and you couldn’t wait to cuddle with him and bury your face in his chest, kissing over the constellations of freckles on his shoulders and chest you were so familiar with by now.

Once the fire was lighting, he looked at you proudly and you beamed back at him. The more his eyes were on you, the more his look grew softer. His gaze full of adoration made butterflies whoosh in your stomach - you were overwhelmed by emotions for this man, sometimes it even made you scared of falling too hard.

“Are you sure you’re okay with watching this movie tonight, cariño?” He asked tenderly, his voice raspy and deep. He walked up to you to put his hands on your waist, caressing you with his thumbs and lowering his head to really look into your eyes. “I know these four days are supposed to be about the two of us.” There was no hurt or any malice in his voice, he was ready to drop the plan the second you said so. It felt like he was staring into your soul and suddenly you felt guilty. You obviously didn’t try hard enough to support him if he felt the need to ask and that made your guts tie up in a knot. You put your hands on the sides of his neck, then lowered them to his shoulders, then his chest. You never broke eye contact.

“Honey, I’m absolutely sure. We had a long day so a movie night is perfect to wind down and this movie seems super interesting! I swear, I can’t wait to start it already!” You rose on your tiptoes and laid an innocent kiss on his lips. He didn’t let you go, holding your face to deepen the kiss and a zap ran through your body as his tongue slipped between your lips to taste you.

You felt his little huff on your upper lip, and you couldn’t resist the quiet moan that escaped your throat. The sound somewhat sobered you up, and you broke the kiss, feeling a little dizzy. He opened his eyes slowly, looking a bit disheveled himself. You had a mission to accomplish, you couldn’t get distracted all the time… you went back up just to give a small kiss on the tip of his nose, which made him smile bashfully, his eyes crinkling adorably.

“Come on baby, let’s start it!”

You grabbed the snacks, but he took them from you with a kiss on your temple, and you both headed to the couch. He put the snacks down on the table and plopped down on the L-shaped furniture as you went on a quick round to light some candles around the room, bathing it in warm colours. You started with the candles in the back and as you worked your way back up you caught him pouring wine into your glasses, then he started to explore the menu of the DVD to set up an English subtitle. With a small sigh, you allowed yourself to indulge yourself in his sight one last time while you were finishing up the candles.

He quite literally took your breath away. His lovely locks you adored to bury your hands into so much, his eyes sparkling from the TV’s light and crinkled with a smile he probably didn’t even notice he had on his face. Your eyes followed the curve of his prominent nose and fell on his lips under his neat mustache. Those pouty lips... you had some vivid memories involving them. The man might look innocent, but he sure knew how to do sin when he wanted to.

He leaned back with his legs propped up and reached out to you. You climbed on top of him and nestled yourself into his chest. He held you close to him, situating himself so you were sitting between his legs, resting your back on his chest.

“Ready, cariño?” He hummed into your neck, pressing a small kiss there. Your blood sizzled under your sensitive skin.

“Never been more ready! Let’s go!”

Javi started the movie and scooted even closer to you, if possible. Strong arms resting on your stomach, caging you in, he nuzzled your neck with a low hum, leaving a trail of kisses up your jaw, finishing with the softest of kisses on your cheek. You felt intoxicated, despite the untouched glasses on the table. His warmth was making your whole body melt, the way his chest rose and fell rhythmically behind you soothed you, and his cologne filled your nostrils with something warm and spicy and citrusy. But below all those layers it smelled uniquely like him, perfectly complementing his perfume. You would recognize it anywhere, after so many times of tasting his skin all over his body – it was the perfect concoction.

He was none the wiser about your… rather delicate situation, eyes glued to the screen, hands absentmindedly caressing your hips and stomach. You tried to focus on the movie, and you were able to catch glimpses of it and laugh at the jokes, but his touches kept distracting you. More often than not you caught yourself looking at his sinewy forearms, the golden watch on his wrist, and the ring on his pinky catching on your dress from time to time. You slowly traced the veins on his arms, and as you tried to focus on the screen again you played with the edges of his watch and ring. He gently caught your hand, intertwining your fingers and raising it to his face for a kiss on your knuckles.

“Some wine?” He murmured sometime later.

You were grateful for the opportunity, slightly going mad from the tension as you were stewing in your juices. He barely finished his question, you were already leaning for the glasses, handing him one. “Oo-kay,” he chuckled at your enthusiasm, albeit a little confused by your behaviour. He paused the movie and sat up at the corner of the couch. You were still between his legs, but you both positioned yourself to turn to each other more at the corner. His left hand held the glass, and his right was on your waist, keeping you close to him. His eyes were glazed over looking at your face and you could only imagine how ridiculously smitten you must have looked like.

“For this perfect day, and for the unexpected gifts it has brought us,” he said, raising his glass.

“For this perfect day, that is about to get even better,” you answered, making him grin with his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

You clinked your glasses and raised it to your lips, him barely tasting the wine through a sip, while you downed the whole glass. Leaning back against the backrest of the couch, you tried to look put together. The taste really was divine, and you had hoped it would help to calm your nerves a bit. Javi was visibly amused looking at you.

“You liked it, huh, cariño?” He asked, getting your glasses and putting them on the table leaning over your legs.

You giggled in response, smiling shyly at him with a small shrug, “It tasted amazing, Javi. It was a great choice.”

“I knew you would love this. Say the word and a box of these will be at my house by the time we get home,” he said, as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ears and kept his hand on the side of your face.

“Consider it said.” You winked at him and he breathed out a silent laugh, but he tilted his head a little with a small frown between his brows, seemingly inspecting you. You had a feeling you had looked a bit nervous, only because you’d tried to clumsily mask your desire for him, wanting to give this night to him to enjoy a movie that meant so much to him but… you clearly weren’t succeeding. You knew he was about to ask you about it, so instead you grabbed the remote before he could speak.

“Shall we?” You asked nonchalantly.

His hand dropped from your face. “Of course,” he said.

He shook his head a little, failing at figuring you out as he leaned back on the couch. You laid down in front of him so you could continue watching the movie while he spooned you, and pressed the play button. You’d hoped that with this new pose, there would be less temptation as you’re not laying on him anymore, but boy, were you wrong.

He hoisted you closer to his body, his hand splayed out on your stomach, and kept you there, almost protectively. Staring at it, you dumbly wondered about how much smaller your torso looked under his hand than your own and that activated something primal in your mind again. You felt his crotch pressed up to your ass, and though he wasn’t hard, it made your cunt throb around nothing. It was so close, yet so far, and you weren’t allowed to do anything about it. Your guts twisted, and you wiggled every few minutes, pressing your thighs together, uselessly fighting the arousal that kept getting more and more suffocating.

A few minutes later he nuzzled at the back of your ear, and the combined sensations of his breath in your ear and the soft tickle of his mustache and stubble made a shudder run through your body, followed by goosebumps everywhere.

“Are you alright, honey?” He murmured, looking at your profile.

“Of course, Javi,” you said, not very convincingly. “Just trying to find the perfect angle.” You explained as you wiggled some more, still staring at the TV, as your thumb gently smoothed across his knuckles to soothe him.

“Right…” he replied.

Whatever he thought, he didn’t say anything else.

However, a few minutes later the hand that had been on your stomach slowly wandered down, below the hem of your sundress, and he gently, but firmly lifted your thigh to fit his between your legs. The movement was so unexpected that you couldn’t hold back a small groan from the pleasure the friction gave you.

“You sure you’re alright?” Javi asked innocently behind your back, his hand now smoothing over the bare skin on your thigh, leaving an electric feeling beneath your skin in its trail. Every single one of his touches made arousal pool between your legs. You silently cursed at your body for growing more and more sensitive, begging for him to come closer.

“Yeah…” you practically squeaked. You were close to your breaking point.

Javi only hummed, his hand stopping to rest it on your stomach again. You were fighting your instincts to rub yourself on his thigh for a few minutes, and you were proud of yourself for resisting, but then he moved between your legs a little, enough to give attention to your aching clit, and the hiss that escaped your lips made him come to a halt.

It felt like the time froze for a few seconds, none of you daring to move. You, trying to take back control over your treacherous body, and him obviously assessing the situation. You mentally did a facepalm as you felt your wet underwear sticking to his pants. He didn’t say anything, but his hand moved down from your stomach and bunched up your skirt. He breathed out your name, almost admonishing, and it made your heart jump. His hand was dangerously close to where you wanted him the most, and as his palm covered your mound, thick fingers reaching your soaked panties, he buried his face in the back of your neck.

“Oh, honey…” he choked. He took a deep inhale, smelling your scent, then suddenly sat up and paused the movie.

“No, Javi, I was watching it!” You wanted to wince at yourself, your act was truly ridiculous at this point.

“None of that, cariño.” He shook his head, turning you on your back with a firm hand on your hip. “You obviously need me, please let me take care of you.”

“It really can wait, I don’t mind!” You protested. You wanted nothing more than for him to touch you, but you didn’t want to be selfish.

“Well, I don’t want to wait!” He declared, his gaze burning you as it fell from your face, scanning your body splayed out in front of him. “What about this: I eat you out, then we can continue the movie. Would that be okay for you?”

You stared at him like a deer caught in a headlight. Is he serious? But his words definitely affected you.

“Please, cariño,” he continued in a gentler tone, his pleading eyes finding yours again. “Let me eat your pretty pussy, now.”

That was the last nail in your coffin, you swore under your breath as you almost went cross-eyed from his words only. “Fffuck, okay… okay let’s do this” you croaked after a few seconds, your defenses crumbling like a house of cards in a tornado.

“Atta girl,” he smirked, and in an instant, he was on top of you.

His fingers found their way into your hair as he put his lips on you, the press of his body a comforting weight on you. His kiss was electric, hot, and sensual. He sucked your lips in with a primal hunger, his tongue licking against the seam of your lips, opening you up to him and claiming your mouth with dominance. You barely noticed the soft sounds coming from your throat, only when you felt the corners of his mouth curl up slightly in a smile. You felt like you had to anchor yourself as you gripped the back of his open yellow shirt so hard, it was protesting against your ministrations on his shoulders.

“Mmmtake—this—off,” you whispered desperately against his all-encompassing kiss.

Javi leaned back, his hair disheveled, to practically tear the shirt off of himself. With a huff through his nose, his eyes gazed at your kiss-swollen lips with hunger. You were out of breath from the intensity of the kiss, panting softly as you took in the sight of him.

He still had his tank top on, your mouth already dropping from the show. His top only accentuated his wide shoulders and narrow waist, and his skin kissed by the firelight was glowing in a golden light, its colours and the way the lights and shadows exaggerated his features made you drool. You could never resist the freckles on his shoulders and chest either. If you weren’t already on the edge of insanity, you would spend hours kissing and biting along his torso, but now clearly none of you had the patience for that.

He came back to you and started suckling on your neck, one of your hands flying to his back to weakly trace the ridges of his shoulder blade, while the other clutched his bicep. Keeping up his ministrations on your neck he gently bunched up your dress above your stomach. His thigh found its way back between your legs and this time you bucked your hips up shamelessly. He groaned as he felt your wet warmth staining his pants and his lips traveled lower. As he trailed your collarbone with the tip of his tongue between his lips, two of his fingers touched you through your panties and you moaned out loud.

“Javi, please!” you whined as he trailed his middle and ring finger up your seam, and tapped on your clit through the soaked textile. You were so worked up, you felt your heart pounding in your ears.

“Shhh cariño, I got you,” he murmured, his voice impossibly low and his breath burning your chest.

His fingers never gave up, but he always kept his touches light, making you throb uncontrollably. You watched him move lower, and you couldn’t decide what to stare at: his lips and tongue molding against your fevered skin, or the dips and hills of his shoulders and biceps flexing as he kept himself up with one arm while torturing you with the other. He traced his tongue around your navel and he looked up at you as he licked over its valley, his fingers mimicking the movement below. He then had the audacity to send you a cheeky wink as your whole body shuddered.

“Fuuuck, stop teasing me, I can’t take it anymore!” you sounded pathetic, but you didn’t care at this point.

“Okay, baby. You earned it.”

He consoled you quietly with a final kiss to your lower stomach, before hooking his fingers into your panties to slowly drag the piece down. If it was anyone else you probably would have felt awkward about how the fabric protested at first, sticking to your cunt, but with Javi, if anything, you felt powerful.

He was visibly trying to compose himself as he gently helped you get both your legs out of the ruined piece and with a shaky exhale he scooted back. He shove a cushion under your ass as he laid down on his belly, navigating your thighs over his shoulders, eyeing your center with blown-out pupils.

“I will never get used to this,” he mused to himself with wonder in his voice, as he splayed his hands across the crease of your ass to softly spread your cunt wide open with his thumbs. You felt his heavy huff on your pussy, and it made you twitch again. He looked captivated by the sight.

“Javi, I swear to go—oohhh my god,” Javi cut you off as the flat of his tongue licked a broad and firm stripe through your folds with a depraved moan.

Your whole body lifted up, and he hooked his arms around your legs, grabbing at the top of your thighs as he held you down, keeping you close to his ravenous mouth. He gave you a few greedy laps, slowly exploring all of your cunt before his tongue lazily went around your hole. Your muscles were twitching, your chest and neck aflame, and if his sight weren’t so hypnotizing you would have thrown your head back already. You felt boneless.

Your abs shaking from the strain of keeping you upright, you grabbed a few cushions you could reach from your position, and shoved them under your head, angling yourself perfectly to watch him at work. He was licking at you tirelessly, mapping all your sensitive spots, before he started to fuck you with his tongue, slowly but deliberately grazing your walls all around.

You let out a raspy moan at the sensation - he was the first person who had ever done this to you and you were still surprised by it every single time. The feel of his agile muscle prodding at your sensitive flesh made your vision blur and sweat gather around your temple. He went as deep as possible, and after an inhale he buried his nose in your clit, slightly moving it left and right. You felt him everywhere as if he was surrounding your entire body. One of your hands grabbed a cushion so tightly, it made your knuckles ache, your other hand finding purchase in his soft locks.

You were scraping his scalp with your fingernails, and he practically purred, the sounds vibrating against your raw flesh, starting a fire in your guts as goosebumps erupted on your skin. You couldn’t help pulling at a handful of hair as your pussy spasmed around his deft tongue. His purr turned into a growl as he removed himself, gulping some air still a few inches away from your cunt. Your hands lifelessly plopped down around you.

“Fuck, cariño, I won’t ever get enough of you,” his speech was slurred like he was drunk and he looked up at you with disoriented eyes. “You taste so good, I would happily drown in you.”

You wanted to react, you really did, but as he was talking one of his hands left your thigh and traced an invisible pattern down the apex of your thighs, fingers traveling through your cunt and gathering your juices, then reaching their destination, a thick digit slipping into you just when you wanted to answer him. Whatever you wanted to tell him, he rendered you speechless with literally a swipe of his finger. The cracking of the fire and the slick sounds of your pussy were the only noises around you, until you felt his mouth on you again. He lapped up the juices escaping you around his finger, sucking on your lips with obscenely loud noises. You wanted to cover your face because you suddenly felt self-conscious, but his free hand grabbed your wrist as you heard him call your name brokenly.

“Please don’t hide away from me, I want to see your face as I bring you pleasure,” he pleaded, his accent a bit stronger than usual.

The mere look of him was debauched, all messy-haired and shiny-faced, looking at you like you hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Your heart skipped a beat, and you held onto his hand, his thumb tracing reassuring circles on your knuckles immediately. Your other hand smoothed his unruly hair out of his face, and he went back, keeping eye contact with you.

“Look at me,” he rasped one last time before diving in.

He dragged his tongue up between your folds as his finger started moving again. He looked up at you the entire time from under his lashes, eyes half-lidded. As he reached your clit you jumped a little, and he opened his mouth wider so you could see his tongue moving against the tortured little nub with a small wiggle. You had to compose yourself not to let your eyes roll back, the sight somehow multiplying the already devastating sensation tenfold.

“You’re so fucking good to me, Javi,” you uttered, caressing his hair and you could see a shiver running down his spine. “I’m so—so—“

“I know, mi amor, I can feel it. Let go for me.”

He groaned and sucked your clit into his mouth, laving it with his tongue. You squealed, not knowing if you wanted to escape from his ministrations or let him consume you. You tried to trash around but his hands came up and covered the bottom of your stomach, holding you down again. You had half the mind to notice him slowly grinding onto the couch, but then you felt his tongue swirling around the sensitive nub, along with his finger rubbing that perfect spot inside you again, and you felt like a lightning struck you.

All your muscles seized up as white-hot pleasure coursed through your veins. At first, you couldn’t even breathe, let alone make a sound, but then a groan tore out from the depth of your chest and you fell back on the couch lifelessly. Javi never let up licking at you, prolonging your catharsis, not stopping even when you tried to squirm away from oversensitivity.

“No, no wait—“ you pleaded with a shaky voice to no avail. Everything was too much, but you couldn’t escape from his iron grip. Javi greedily explored all your sensitive spots around your swollen vulva and hole with firm strokes, before he found the button of your clit again, sucking on it harshly dragging you under the waves of ecstasy for a second time that night with a squeak. His mouth was sucking at you relentlessly through the helpless spasms of your body, draining all the energy from you and filling your brain with fuzzy cotton. You fell back limply, muttering nonsense while his mouth gently cleaned you up.

You had no idea how long you were just laying there uselessly, basking in the afterglow with Javi still between your legs. His face rested on the plush of your thigh, his breathing slow but heavy, his eyes closed and his hands flexing.

Once your wits came back to you, you noticed a faint dent on your thigh from Javi’s ring, a thought of how you wanted to tattoo it on your skin filled your mind – to keep it there forever.

You played with his hair again, curling a silky strand around your finger by scraping little circles on his scalp. As if you woke him up from a stupor, he looked up at you, breathing now almost normal, but his pupils were still blown out. He wiped his face on your inner thigh, then kissed and sucked off the remnants of your wetness there and you giggled, his facial hair tickling you. He crawled up your body with a smile across his face, before he laid next to you. You immediately followed him, decorating the hot skin on his shoulders and collarbone with lazy, open-mouthed kisses. He weakly pawed at your waist to bring you closer to him, then dragged the bottom of your dress over your thighs to give you some decency.

“Sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted,” he pondered and gently pinched your ass. You snickered as you playfully swatted his chest, before laying your head on his pecs. His heart was beating wildly and it made you swoon, so much so that you had to lay a soft kiss between his pecs, just above the hem of his top before nuzzling even more into his blushed chest, as a content sigh fell from your lips. Your gaze couldn’t help but fall to his bulge - he was visibly affected by your previous endeavors.

“Javi…” you whispered in his neck, while your hand gently caressed his stomach. You felt his heavy exhale under you. “If you want… we can continue…”

“Oh! Of course, cariño!” he said, perking up, reaching out for the remote control and pushing the play button again, eyes immediately glued on the screen.

You laid there, having a mental tantrum. Well, things weren’t going the way expected. How can he still be thinking about the movie?

Squashing that ugly disappointment down, you turned in his arms to try to focus on the TV again. You weren’t allowed to complain, he said he would make you cum and you would continue the movie, and he did just that and more. You couldn’t help the ravenous hunger you had for this man though, it was never enough of him. You laid a soft kiss on his bicep below your head and your arm reached behind to gently shove him back against you. He followed you diligently, but he tensed as his bulge, now hard, rested against your ass again.

“I’m sorry honey, I’ll just need a minute,” he apologised quietly, voice strained from embarrassment and barely veiled desire.

The devil on your shoulder took over you as you rolled your hips against him slowly but deliberately. The filthy sound coming from deep in his chest melted your bones, making it hard to keep back your own needy whine.

“Wh—what are you doing?”

His strong grip on your hip felt like a warning, but his voice was so weak. That’s what made you throw all your culture out the window, giddy roiling in your guts from feeling him get fully erect against you. You barely registered your hand moving mindlessly, grinding your palm against him. His hand clenched around your forearm easily, but he didn’t move it away.

“I need you, Javi,” you begged shamelessly, turning your head back in his direction as much as possible.

“Fuck…” he breathed, eyes closed shut with a loud gulp. When he opened his eyes again his gaze was intense, one of his hands cradling your face as he propped himself up on his elbow to look deeply into your eyes. “I thought you wanted to watch the movie…”

That made you freeze with confusion, even your hand stopped moving over him.

“…me?” You asked incredulously. “I mean yeah, it does seem like a great movie and I’d happily watch it any other time, but I couldn’t wait to be alone with you the entire day. I’ve wanted to eat you up since we crawled out of bed this morning. But I’m happy to do anything as long as I’m with you– and you looked so happy to find that movie… I don’t know… I just didn’t want to ruin your joy with my neediness, I guess” you confessed hastily with warm cheeks.

A soft sound of surprise got stuck in his throat as he looked at you with saucer eyes, gaping like a fish. It looked rather comical if you were honest. If you didn’t feel so sheepish about your clumsy confession, you would have giggled at his expression.

He shook his head lightly, as if processing your words. “So that’s why you were acting so weird tonight!” He exclaimed, relief evident on his face. He breathed out your name softly, his thumb caressing your face ever so gently.

“I felt the same way the entire day. I got distracted by finding the movie, I give you that, but up until that moment, I was contemplating taking you in the bathroom in every single place we visited. Even in the car, consequences be damned,” he huffed, and you had to clench your thighs to alleviate the need growing between them again from the mental image.

“Cariño, I have the DVD now, I can watch it whenever I want!” He tutted, “I swear, one day I’m gonna write a screenplay for you to be the lead in it, you’re such a talented actress. You seemed so eager to watch this movie that I felt guilty for trying to distract you,” he smoothed a strand of hair behind your ear with a chuckle, “I suppose both of us were fools…”

You couldn’t hold back a rather unsexy snort at that, but it made him beam at you with crinkling eyes.

He cupped your jaw and leaned over to press a sweet kiss on your lips, but it immediately grew hungry. The stark difference between his precious face and the taste of yourself still on his tongue made a shudder run through your body.

Javi can really do both, you thought dreamily, but you were quickly snapped back to reality when he rolled you on top of him and deepened the kiss as he slowly sat up, helping you to position yourself on your knees around his hips. He planted his feet on the couch and grabbing your bare asscheeks firmly he dragged your pulsing center down on his bulge.

Your hands flew to his hair, arms resting on his shoulders, feeling like passing out when you felt his cock twitch against your bare pussy, tearing a low hiss out of him. He bunched up and gripped your dress around your torso.

“This little dress was teasing me all day,” he groaned, slowly pulling down the zip on your back, the edge of his thumb caressing your bare spine in the process. “It looks fantastic on you, honey, but I need to see all of you, right now.”

By the time he finished his thought, he already tugged it off of you, your breast jiggling in front of his face from the impact of falling out of the secure hold of the dress, his heavy gaze falling to them immediately, your body now bare in his lap.

“Oh god, look at you… tan bonita,” he murmured as his hands slid over your ribs firmly, before they slipped under your breasts with a feather-light touch.

He cupped the mounds gently as his thumbs smoothly explored the skin. The pad of his fingers traced your areola, then softly rubbed over your sensitive nipples. You arched your back, leaking some more wetness on his trousers as you rubbed yourself heavier on him. One hand molded a breast into his waiting mouth, tongue wiggling around the achy nub and the other slipping down your shivering stomach, across the top of your thigh and teasing at your seam across your ass.

The suckling sensation on your nipple, while his hand was prodding teasingly at your swollen entrance made you go insane. You had to center yourself around something. You clasped the back of the couch tightly, using it as support as you pushed your chest more in his face. Without hesitation, you vigorously moved your clit against his bulge, your head arched back in ecstasy.

His wrecked moan was the prize, your breast slipping from his lips as you watched a tremor course through his entire body. Once he came back to his senses he doubled down his efforts, nuzzling the other breast and sucking the pebbled nipple in his hot mouth.

His tongue started to swirl around the hardened nub at the same time as two of his fingers drowned in your slick pussy, finding your most sensitive spot with devastating accuracy. Your mind went blank, and your gasps came out in hiccups. Your instincts took over as you were riding his bulge with trembling legs, chasing your blinding pleasure. You only had enough wits to sit back to undo his belt, ripping off his fly, and with his help, you were able to push his pants down his thighs, freeing his erect cock.

His hand grasped the base and gently tapped it against your sensitive clit, and your hips started moving again, trapping his length under your pussy as you continued to slide over him. He softly bit on your nipple in response which blazed off fireworks in your lower stomach, his other hand never stopping its brutal pace grinding against your most sensitive spot. You were so close to cumming you could practically taste it on your tongue.

“Feels so good—,“ your voice was desperate, and he let out a wrecked moan around your breast.

The soft pulling sensation, coupled with the warm, wet caresses of his mouth on your nipple, the expert touch of his fingers on your g-spot, and the tantalizing friction of your clit rubbing against the ridges of his cock, quickly sent you spiraling into a world of ecstasy and pleasure. You came with a wail, your back arching and eyes rolling back. You faintly felt Javi’s hands at the base of your back and along your spine, keeping you close to him while his eyes feasted on you falling apart for him. You fell back on his shoulders, weakly grasping at his elbows as his palms caressed your back and he showered your neck with small kisses, humming quietly between them.

“You did so well, you’re fucking amazing,” he breathed against your skin, as you felt your pulse slow down a bit. He kissed a path down your sweaty chest and came back the same route. After some blissful peace, you felt his cock twitch against you and you whined.

“Do you have one more in you, mi amor? We can rest,” Javi asked gently, his eyes searching for yours.

Bless his heart, he made you come three times and he would finish the night here and there, hard as a rock. Your body was still buzzing and you felt sore from his thick fingers but one look at his sinful state was enough to get you in the mood again.

His lovely locks were now sticking to his face, the perspiration on his chest only making him glow even more. His mouth was agape, plush lower lip kiss-swollen, and his dark eyes silently pleading with you. Instead of giving him an answer, you gripped the hem of his tank top and peeled the offending item off of him as he held up his arms, helping you and keeping his lustrous eyes on yours.

Resting your hands on the top of his chest you kissed down his neck, between his collarbones. Sitting back lower on his legs, you could trace your tongue between his pecs and down to his soft stomach. You couldn’t help but kiss around his little belly, giving him a playful bite which made him jolt with a small laugh. Your finger traced the soft patch of hair below his navel, and understanding your silent request, he kicked down the remaining of his clothes while you kneeled on the side.

You were fascinated as you watched his cock in all its glory, shiny from your juices, precum already leaking from the angry, red tip. Your mouth watered at the sight, and you were already in motion to have a taste for yourself when he stopped you, gently putting his hands around your arms.

“It pains me to stop you, but the second I feel your mouth on me, I would be a goner.” His husky voice was layered with desire. “C’mere, I need to be inside you,” he added, and you almost jumped on him.

You crawled back over his hips while he pumped his cock a few times, his veins bulging in his cock and forearms. It was one of the hottest things you’ve ever seen and you filed the idea for later exploration. You went lower on him and he smeared his member over your slit, covering him in your juices generously again, then he prodded the head at your entrance.

“Come on, cariño, let me feel you, please,” he growled, and you carefully descended down on him.

You were over quite a few nights with him, but your pussy still struggled to accommodate his size, especially now that you were still sore and sensitive from earlier. The struggle felt like a pinch and you whined, but he cradled your face and kissed your forehead.

“It’s okay honey, take your time,” he whispered and let you take the lead for the moment.

He caressed everywhere he could reach. He sucked two fingers into his mouth and lead them to your clit, ever so slightly drawing circles around it. At first, it felt like a needle stab, but a few seconds later it turned into pleasure. You swallowed more of him with a quiver. You felt so full, even though you were still a few inches apart from sitting down completely.

His tongue found your breasts again, laving at the skin with bites and kisses alternating between them, tongue chasing your puffy nipple with confident laps. When he sucked in your soaked bud to bite down on it your cunt bottomed out, swallowing his cock entirely as a fresh wave of slickness coated his base. He tore away from your glistening nipple, burying his face between your breasts with a heavy groan.

“You’re so fucking tight around me,” he rasped into your damp chest. “You were made for me. And your skin is so fucking silky.”

Just to prove his point, his greedy tongue made its way up your chest, across your neck and jaw and to claim your mouth in a hedonistic kiss, as his hands grabbed the meat of your ass; not to force you to move, but to ground himself.

The kiss was a little clumsy, but no less toe-curling, his tongue exploring your mouth and teeth clashing as you started to rise and fall against him. You felt so full, as if he was in your guts. Your lungs burned as you felt more and more overwhelmed by the inferno in your body. You broke away from him only to lay back, hands grabbing his shins while continuing to move up and down on his cock.

The new angle was exhausting, but it rubbed your insides from just the perfect direction, and your vision blurred from the sensation. From this angle he had the best view of his cock disappearing in your puffy cunt, then appearing again, covered in your juices. Javi was hypnotized by the sight, his mouth dropping, and eyebrows knitted tightly together.

“That’s it, use me, just like that,” he grunted, trapped under your spell over him.

Heavy-lidded eyes followed your every move, and as he reached out to touch your overworked clit again your thighs started to tremble so hard that you couldn’t continue gyrating against him. He swore under his breath as you throbbed around him another time, and you leaned over his body to grab his shoulders.

He prompted you to rise higher on your knees above him as he secured his feet on the surface of the couch. One arm braced himself next to his torso, while the other slipped up your back to grab your shoulder from the back, and he started to pound into you mercilessly, stealing your breath. You could barely stay in place, so you grabbed the backrest of the couch as you felt tears pricking your eyes from the intensity.

“Are you close, baby? I’m so close but I need you to come first,” he strained, seemingly every muscle in his body tensing from the exertion.

He looked like a sculpture of a deity from ancient times, especially when his head fell back, the thick column of his gorgeous neck on full display. You could only nod, not being able to even form a coherent thought anymore as your desperate whines became constant. He raised his head again - he couldn’t keep his gaze away from where you connected, his face almost looked angry from the concentration.

“Fuckfuckfuck, rub your clit for me,” he roared, and you followed his order immediately.

Almost as soon as you touched your clit, you started shuddering violently with a loud and raspy cry, tears running down your face as he kept grazing your g-spot with every powerful thrust. You felt possessed as your entire body short-circuited, and your ears started ringing. You faintly registered his load painting your walls as your throbbing core milked him dry, his growl echoing in your ears.

You collapsed on him like a ragdoll, your sweaty bodies colliding as he kept you close to his chest. As you came back to your wits a few minutes later you felt raw and weak and vulnerable, but it was okay because Javi was there, embracing you with strong arms and gentle kisses across your face, swiping away your tears. His body was like a shelter as you clung to him with all your limbs and he kept you safe from whatever was happening outside of your bubble.

“Are you okay?” He whispered, your name falling from his lips like a prayer as his hand smoothed over your hair while his body swayed you gently.

“I’m… I’m more than okay,” you croaked, still feeling boneless as you weakly clasped into his body. “Thank you, this was a spiritual experience.” He huffed a small laugh at that.

“You are incredible,” he cooed.

You lazily nuzzled deeper into his neck with a hum, letting his scent calm your frayed nerves down. You stayed like that, limbs intertwined for a while, before Javi reluctantly pulled out of you, making the both of you groan as he gently helped you to lay on your back and he hurried to the bathroom in all his naked glory.

He came back soon, but that little time was enough for you to realize that your thighs and mound were drenched. That explains the out-of-body experience.

Javi sat down next to you, a warm and wet washcloth in his hand. He cleaned you up with reverence, eyeing the marks he had left over your body. He seemed worried, but you wore them with pride.

“That’s very kind of you, but I think we will need to shower anyway,” you smiled bashfully, and he placed a smooth kiss on your forehead.

“I wasn’t sure if you had enough energy for that,” he rasped.

“If you help me, it won’t be an issue,” you sat up slowly, your coordination akin to a newborn foal, his hand held out to help you to stand.

“Of course, cariño.”

His warm eyes made your knees buckle, this time not from your physical activities. As if on cue, the credits rolled on the screen with a blaring sound, and both of you jerked your head in its direction with alarm, obviously forgetting about the movie going in the background the entire time. You looked back at each other with wide eyes, laughter erupting out of you at the same time.

“So, you wanna watch the movie when we get back home?” He snickered.

“Definitely!” You perked up at the prospect of spending more time with him after your getaway. Besides, now it was your mission to finally really watch the movie. “Unless you’ll need me again,” you added, wiggling your eyebrows at him. He chuckled and smacked your ass gently.

“I was hoping for that answer.”

—————

THE END.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs & feedbacks are highly appreciated ♥️

#are you alright honey?#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #javi gutierrez #javi gutierrez fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #javi gutierrez smut #javi gutierrez x reader #javi gutierrez x f!reader #javi gutierrez x you #javi guterrez oneshot #fanna writing

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scoobydoodean · 3 months

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what’s your opinion on “lebanon”? as it actually is in the show and how fans/fic writers interpret/approach it.

cause i’ve been binge-reading “lebanon” fics and i’ve noticed two patterns: sam might argue with john or he stays calm but regardless he preaches to dean about what a terrible father john was, and dean always falls back into his performing and just keeps defending john. now i love all that angst, really i love it so much, these fics are phenomenally written… but i’m just wondering if i’m crazy to think that dean wouldn’t actually fall back into that role to such an extent, and whether the episode actually kinda got it right by having dean feel secure with his family as it is. iirc my issue with the episode is that neither dean nor sam got to express any issues with john in an honest but civil way (and that john is too nice) but that still i liked dean’s expression of security, but tbh it’s been awhile since i last watched it so maybe i’m missing/misremembering smth… thanks!

One of the strangest things I see in fandom is how many people's sense of how Sam views John versus how Dean views John is just flat out wrong. The idea that Dean is always defending John while Sam is always criticizing him the whole show is negated over and over and over in the actual show itself—extremely overtly.

There's two issues here in my mind that lend to this fandom problem.

The fandom accepting Sam and Dean's "John Narratives" at face value in the early episodes of season 1. For example, watching 1.08 "Bugs", where Dean claims to have no resentments toward John and says Sam also was a dick during Sam and John's fight, and going, "Well there we go. Dean has no resentments and refuses to criticize John but Sam will." At this point, we already know from 1.06 "Skin" that Dean does have resentments toward John for not appearing to care about him and for abandoning him, and we get further indications in 1.11, and 1.21 in this season alone. Another example is Sam and Dean's clashes in 1.10 "Asylum" and in 1.11 "Scarecrow", which are largely analyzed by the fandom as moments where Dean is blindly following orders when they have some other, better option Sam is pushing, and Dean is just refusing to go along with Sam's much better ideas because he's too focused on believing their dad knows best... when that is not actually what is happening at all. Sam's alternative plans in the beginning of 1.10 and 1.11 are absolutely stupid. In 1.10, he wants to call the FBI on John to find him. That's his big idea—instead of following the coordinates John just sent them and seeing if he's there. In 1.11, Sam's big bright idea on finding John is to abandon some people to die on a time-sensitive case so he can go search all of Sacramento for John with nothing but an area code. His plans are dumb, plain and simple—and while we do see Dean hiding his own resentments in these episodes too, that does not remain true—which brings me to the other issue here.

Fandom doesn't leave room for the brothers perspectives on John and their outward expressions of those perspectives to shift or mature over the series. This is particularly funny because their perspectives are literally swapping over the course of season 1, and have pretty much fully swapped by 2.02.

Sam's shifting season 1 perspective on John

What actually happens in season 1, is that Sam, who starts out burning with resentment and hurt toward John for disowning him and being a smothering drill sergeant and absent, binge-drinking dad, slowly begins empathizing him because he's now suffered a similar trauma and is having extreme difficulty coping with it himself! Sam's empathy for and understanding of John (and hell—even respect for John handling it as well as Sam thinks he was capable) is already beginning to show in 1.02—where Sam asks Dean "How does Dad do it?" (i.e., deal with the same burning rage and desperation for vengeance that is tearing Sam apart) (gifset). In 1.04, he learns John was bragging about Sam's accomplishments to other people (gifset). In 1.08, when Dean tells Sam that John was never actually disappointed in him—that he was scared Sam would get hurt if he wasn't around (gifset here) a lot of Sam's anger about the Stanford fight fades. He ends the episode saying "Dad did the best he could" (a repeated quote often misattributed as coming more from Dean) and saying he wants to find him to apologize to him for the things he said (gifset). John and Sam share a heartfelt, tearful hug in 1.16—at the end of which Sam begs John not to leave, and in 1.20, John himself apologizes and explains what was going on in his head when they fought, and it ends with them smiling and laughing as they acknowledge they understand each other and they're the same. I track Sam and John's relationship through the tag, #we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone because Sam says that during that conversation in 1.20 (gifset).

Dean's shifting season 1 perspective on John

At the same time this shift is happening in Sam, we see Dean going the exact opposite direction. He starts out believing John has their best interest at heart even if they don't understand his actions, but the resentment is there too (1.06). In 1.09 and in 1.12, Dean needs help desperately, and John doesn't answer. While Sam is learning that John actually cares about him, Dean is growing more and more concerned that John doesn't care about him (Dean) specifically. We see this resentment start to come out (season 1 compilation set here) in 1.20, when John says he wants to keep the boys safe and that's why he's ditching them, and Dean calls it "A bunch of crap". Dean begins standing up to John to his face from this episode onward—finishing 1.20 with a "Yeah well we saved your ass" in response to John saying they disobeyed him. In 1.21, John tries to get on his case, and Dean lays into him about not answering the phone and specifically about abandoning Dean when Dean needed him in 1.09 and 1.12. In 1.22, Sam tries to get his way by telling Dean that John wouldn't want them to bring The Colt to save him, and Dean yells "I don't care what Dad wants!" and then when Sam starts throwing the blame on him for everything, Dean says,

Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can’t wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I’m gonna be the one to bury you. You’re selfish, you know that? You don’t care about anything but revenge.

Dean has compared Sam and John more than once during the series, and it has never ever been a compliment.

Sam and Dean in the rest of the series

Sam and Dean's interactions about John in rest of the series are... almost universally the opposite of what the fanfics you've picked up suggest. Their interactions almost always show Dean criticizing John and Sam keeping silent or defending him, or reiterating that John did what he had to/the best he could.

Gifset on Dean's whole season 2 "Fuck John Winchester" vibe here.

In 2.01, Dean shouts at John for (it appears) abandoning him to die:

DEAN Come on, Dad. You've gotta help me. I've gotta get better, I've gotta get back in there. I mean, you haven't called a soul for help. You haven't even tried. Aren't you going to do anything? Aren't you even going to say anything? I've done everything you have ever asked me. Everything. I have given everything I've ever had. And you're just going to sit there and you're going to watch me die? I mean, what the hell kind of father are you?

Sam and John have a horrible fight where John blames him for Dean's condition and Sam tells him to go to Hell only for him to make a demon deal and literally go to Hell that same day (gifset) and Sam tries to start another fight right before John dies but John refuses to engage (gifset). The result ends up being that Sam and Dean have fully swapped places on John by 2.02 with John's death as the catalyst. John's death leaves Sam with regrets that their last interaction was Sam trying to start a fight (2.02). He decides he wants to hunt in John's memory (2.02) (gifset1, gifset2) while a part of Dean desperately wants to quit the life altogether—he's clawing the walls but feels helplessly trapped (2.09, 2.10, 2.20).

Sam defends John while Dean suggests John lead them down the wrong path with a dogmatic rule book (2.03). He demands they go to Lawrence so he can place John's dog tags over Mary's grave (2.04). He spends the season regurgitating John's orders, pushing Dean to do what John told him to do (2.11, 2.14, 2.20) while Dean wants to quit the life (2.09, 2.10, 2.20) and burns with anger toward John. In 2.10, Dean says "I wish to god he'd never opened his mouth!" about John.

In 2.11 "Playthings":

SAM (shoving DEAN to face him) Dean! Dad told you to do it, you have to. DEAN Yeah, well, Dad's an ass! (SAM frowns in confusion) He never should have said anything! I mean, you don't do that, you don't, you don't lay that kind of crap on your kids! SAM No. He was right to say it! Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies!

We see Dean seething with resentment while Sam defends John's orders and tries to enforce them on Dean, carrying the legacy of their father in more ways than one.

Over and over, we get indications that a part of John treated Dean as disposable while he sheltered Sam, and that Dean is increasingly aware of the impact that's difference has had on him—to the point he realizes his father's neglect and abuse is the reason he isn't fighting to save himself in 3.10 "Dream A Little Dream Of Me". Dean and John's relationship is intentionally paralleled with a physically abusive relationship between a father and son in this same episode (gifset, meta), and in this episode, Dean rejects his father as an "obsessed bastard", calls Bobby his father (gifset), and decides from this point forward, he's going to fight to save himself from his demon deal because fuck John Winchester.

DREAM DEAN Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you? DEAN Son of a bitch! My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family! He– who wasn't there for Sam! I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me! And I don't deserve to go to Hell!

And yeah! Dean also still loves John! And more than that—he craves John's protection. We see this in 3.14 "Long Distance Call" when the Crocotta calls to Dean as John from beyond the grave, telling Dean exactly what Dean wants to hear: "I never wanted this. Never. You're my boy, I love you. I can't watch you to go to hell, Dean," and telling Dean he can save him. This is pure longing for the love and protection Dean has always desired from John but feels like he's never received. Instead, he's always felt disposable.

In season 4? Oh boy... we get this incredible bit in 4.10 between Dean and Anna:

ANNA I was stationed on earth 2,000 years. Just... watching... silent... invisible... out on the road... sick for home... waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand. So don't tell me that -- DEAN laughs. ANNA What is so funny? What? DEAN Nothing. Sorry. It's just...I can relate.

Then in after meeting Adam in 4.19, Sam and Dean have a fight about whether to bring Adam hunting with them or leave him to a normal life:

DEAN 'Hunting is life. You can't have connections.' Dad gave you that exact same speech, remember? It was just before you ditched us for Stanford. You hated Dad for saying that stuff, and now you're quoting him? SAM Yeah, well, turns out Dad was right. DEAN Since when? SAM Since always. Dean, when I look at Adam, you know what I see? DEAN A normal kid. SAM No. Meat. Because the demons and monsters out there, that's all he is. I hated Dad for a long time. I did. But now I think I understand. So we didn't have a dog and a white picket fence. So what? Dad did right by us. He taught us how to protect ourselves. Adam deserves the same. DEAN Listen to yourself, man. SAM You think I’m wrong? DEAN I think it's too late for us. This is our life. This is who we are, okay? And it's fine. I accept that. But with Adam, he's still got a chance, man. He can go to school. He could be a doctor.

Sam says John did right by them. Dean thinks he absolutely didn't, but they can't change who they are now—they can only keep others from falling down the same path.

At the end of the episode? Oh boy...

DEAN You know, I finally get why you and Dad butted heads so much. You two were practically the same person. SAM looks over. DEAN I mean, I worshipped the guy, you know? I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listen to the same music. But you were more like him than I will ever be. And I see that now. SAM I'll take that as a compliment. DEAN You take it any way you want.

It is NOT a compliment.

In 5.16, Dean is confronted with god's intentional absence, and burning with resentment, says to Joshua,

Forget it. Just another dead-beat dad with a bunch of excuses, right. I’m used to that. I’ll muddle through.

In 5.13, Sam takes the opportunity presented to him by young John's presence to defend their father and tell John that he forgives him (gifset).

JOHN Look, how long have you known about this...hunting stuff? SAM Pretty much forever. My dad raised me in it. JOHN You're serious? Who the hell does that to a kid? SAM Well, I mean, for the record, Mary's parents did. JOHN I don't care. You know, what kind of irresponsible bastard lets a child anywhere near—Y-you know, you could've been killed! SAM I, uh...came kind of close. SAM laughs. JOHN The number it must've done on your head...Your father was supposed to protect you. SAM He was trying. He died trying. Believe me. SAM sits down on the bench under a window. SAM I used to be mad at him. I—I mean, I used to... I used to hate the guy. But now I—I... I get it. He was...just doing the best he could. And he was trying to keep it together in—in—in this impossible situation. See... My mom, um... She was amazing, beautiful, and she was the love of his life. And she got killed. And...I think he would have gone crazy if he didn't do something. Truth is, um, my dad died before I got to tell him that I understand why he did what he did. And I forgive him for what it did to us. I do. And I just—I love him.

What Lebanon does is present Sam with the opportunity to reiterate his forgiveness toward a John who understands the context:

SAM Dad… for me? That fight… that was a lifetime ago. I don’t even remember what I said, and – I mean… yeah. You know what? You did some messed-up things. But I don’t… I mean, when I think about you… [voice breaks] and I think about you a lot… I don’t think about our – our fights. I think about you… I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye. JOHN Sam. Son. I am so sorry. SAM I’m sorry, too. But you did your best, dad. You – you fought for us, and you loved us, and… that’s enough.

So yeah! The fanfic narrative here where Sam is Mr. "Dad was bad" and Dean is Mr. "Nooo dad did the best he could" IS ABSOLUTE NONSENSE!!!!!

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userlando · 2 years

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✧･ﾟ 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 (𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐡)

billy hargrove x female!reader [4.6k] summary ⤍ all your friends had more or less gained more sexual experience over the summer. asking billy hargrove to help you out might not be the best idea, but you’re running out of options. warnings ⤍ 18+ (minors dni) petname use, explicit language, explicit smut, kissing, semi-public sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, hair pulling. a/n ⤍ so i couldn’t resist writing more billy. again, this isn’t canon billy so keep that in mind. thank you for all your love on my last fic, please consider leaving feedback and lmk what you thought of this. also, here’s a gifset that sparked this idea :) i haven’t proof read this since it’s 4am now and i wrote this on my phone, sorry. ily <3

“Do you wanna have sex with me?” Isn’t what you ever expected to ask Billy Hargrove. Especially by the public pools that he was supposed to be guarding.

He’d been sitting high up in his lifeguard chair, smacking his chewing gum enticingly with his eyes alert on every kid in and around the pools and opening his mouth to bark at the occasional running kid. You’d been watching him from afar, sitting up in your chaise lounge with your book half forgotten in your lap as you half-listened to your friends close by.

It wasn’t that surprising that sex was the topic of conversation, as it had been for the most part these past few weeks of the summer. Two of your friend group consisting of five had lost their virginities, and the other’s had somehow managed to score boyfriends. It wasn’t unusual or even weird, seeing as you were all on the cheerleading squad and more popular than you’d like to think about.

It irked you a little bit though, because sex had never been a big issue in your life until this summer. You had focused all you had on your grades and your team seeing as you were the head cheerleader at school. Boys weren’t an issue, you’d had exactly one boyfriend (minus Josh from middle school) and you’d broken up with him after four months when you’d caught him cheating on you with another girl. He had been your first everything, but not your first orgasm.

The guys that did try to ask you out always got shot down, and you tried not to think too hard about why that was your first instinct. Maybe you were still feeling the after effects of being cheated on, or maybe dating in general didn’t excite you as the average high schooler. Your friends called you a prude, and somehow that was the reputation you’d gained in school. The pristine, virginal and sweet cheerleader whom could not be conquered.

They weren’t too far off.

The girls were still chattering as you zoned out, and you caught some words that definitely weren’t meant to be said out loud where kids could hear. Your eyes scanned the pool, eyes squinting in the harsh sunlight until they landed on the lifeguard chair. Or more specifically, Billy.

You didn’t know why your brain conjured the outrageous idea up so fast. Maybe it was because your friends were discussing their boyfriend’s lengthy dicks or maybe you were feeling fed up with being excluded from those conversations. But you found your legs standing and moving before you could think twice of it, throwing a mumbled be right back over your shoulder.

Billy and you had exchanged maybe a full on sentence in your entire lives. You’d see each other at school and you’d once caught him smoking a joint in the girls bathroom. It had flustered you so much so that you’d backed out with a whispered sorry, not even wondering twice about why he was even in the girls bathroom to begin with.

Maybe that’s why Billy had the reaction he did when you stopped right below him. His eyebrows jumped on his forehead as you looked at each other, and you couldn’t read his face more than that thanks to his sunglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. But you imagined that he was quite surprised and a little lost.

“Hey, gorgeous.” He greeted you, voice like molten lava. It wasn’t hard to figure out why every girl and occasional boy were falling over their feet to get in his bed. He had quite the reputation.

You fought off the feeling of oh my god what in the world am I doing, raising your head to look him in the eye with more bravery than you felt.

“Can we talk?” You asked, sounding more nervous than you would’ve liked.

His interest was piqued though and you took a step back when he began climbing down the chair. You blinked slowly when he faced you, suddenly feeling tongue tied and ten times more jittery. He was a lot taller than you expected, smelling strongly of cologne and cigarette smoke as he pushed his hair back from his forehead. It was damp with perspiration, skin a little sun kissed from spending so many hours under the sun.

“So?” He trailed off, dragging out the vowel.

You let out a shuddered sigh, giving him a nervous smile that he returned with bewilderment. You didn’t blame him, the two of you had absolutely nothing to talk about. You ran in different circles and it was hard to believe you had anything in common.

“I know this is weird, it kinda is. I mean, we don’t know each other and —“ your rambling got cut off with a noise of thinly veiled annoyance.

Billy yanked his sunglasses off and you shut your mouth because holy shit. His eyes were strikingly blue up close, framed by long eyelashes that you couldn’t help but deeply admire. The sudden eye contact almost had your knees knocking together.

“Is there a reason you’re here?” He asked, not rudely. But it was clear he was losing patience. Or maybe he was losing interest.

So, you decided to bite the bullet and just come out with it, “Do you wanna have sex with me?”

The silence was deafening and the rest of the world fell off as your eyes darted between his. He didn’t give you anything, no twitch on his face nor did he laugh or scoff. You didn’t know what to expect, but the silence had you wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

“Oh god,” you whispered, bringing your hands up to your face in mortification as the quiet dragged on for a beat too long and you’d gotten a moment to realise what you’d said. “I’m so sorry, I don’t— I don’t know why I asked that.”

You contemplated walking back and grabbing your things, just so you could get out and never set foot here again. It would be difficult to avoid him in the hallways and in classes, but your ego was too bruised to even care about the logistics. Hell, you had half a mind to drive straight back home and beg your parents to move to a different state.

“I’m gonna go,” you huffed out a laugh that sounded a lot like shame and tacked on, for good measure, “sorry.”

Before you could turn around and do your walk of shame, Billy had reached out and circled his fingers around your wrist. You looked down at his grip, too afraid to look at his face or any other part of him.

“Hold on,” Billy sounded neutral, voice a tad bit strained as he rocked back on his feet in contemplation. “Why are you asking me this?”

Not only did you just embarrass yourself, now he wanted an explanation. The thought of it made you screw your face up in a grimace, closing your eyes as if you could close them from the wave of shame you felt crashing into you like violent waves.

“I don’t know.” You replied finally, voice small. “I guess I’m tired of feeling like an outcast.”

Billy’s startled laugh had you whipping your head up, glaring at him and he reached both hands up to his side in apology. He didn’t look very apologetic though, just amused.

“Sorry, I just— outcast, you said? You’re the head cheerleader.”

You crossed your arms over your chest in defence, ignoring his eyes jumping to the movement before he glanced back at your face. “So? That doesn’t mean I jump into bed with everyone.”

His lips stretched into a slow smirk that almost made you squirm, but you stood your ground and tried to look as harsh as possible. It didn’t seem to work, judging by Billy’s face, but you didn’t let it deter you.

“Nah,” his tongue poked the inner side of his cheek. “I’ve heard the opposite. You’re quite a hard catch, sweetheart.”

It made you cringe, the apples of your cheeks burning and you tried to tell yourself it was because of the way he was indirectly calling you a prude and not because he’d just called you sweetheart. Who gave him the right to be so smooth and confident?

“My friends have all… gained more experience. And I feel a little left out.” You wrung your hands together as you offered your explanation, glancing around to check that no one was listening.

It didn’t seem like it, thankfully. Kids were still swimming and dunking each other under water. You imagined that if Billy had been paying more attention, he would’ve cussed them out. But alas...

Billy sighed, clearly a little agitated as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair. His eyes glanced around, settling on something over your shoulder and you didn’t have to look behind you to see that he was looking at your friends. You cringed internally at the thought of them, knowing they’d have a million questions as to why you were speaking to Billy Hargrove of all people. You were as different as two people possibly could be. At least in social status.

“Sorry, sweetheart. I don’t fuck virgins.” His words jarred you, and you took a step back in shock.

The way he said it so bluntly almost made you recoil entirely. This entire situation was starting to seem so laughable.

“What? No!” You frowned. “I’m not a virgin.”

Billy looked confused now, “Then what the fuck are you asking me?”

The absurdity of it all almost made you laugh.

“I just need…” you trailed off. “Experience, I guess.”

Billy looked around, eyes faraway as he contemplated what you were asking of him. You didn’t blame him, it was a bizarre thing to ask of someone you barely knew.

“Alright,” his eyes looked you up and down, smirk crawling onto his face. “I get off in thirty minutes, meet me in the lobby by then.”

That had you pausing, eyebrows almost touching your hairline as you opened your mouth and closed it. You hadn’t expected him to say yes, but you certainly didn’t expect him to also want to do it today. Now? You weren’t ready, had hardly thought it through when you propositioned him. And what were you going to tell your friends?

“Wait, you want to do it now?” You hated how inexperienced and innocent you sounded, but your nerves were alight.

Billy squinted his eyes, the blue of his eyes almost disappearing behind his lids as he sucked his pink bottom lip into his mouth before releasing it. “I’m sorry, did you wanna schedule a session?”

You felt heat crawl up your neck, managing a shake of the head as you took a step back.

“Thirty minutes.” You said breathlessly.

The walk back to your friends was on autopilot, but your mind was running a mile a minute and you were sure your legs were gonna collapse from underneath you. You didn’t know what to expect, or how to feel about it all.

“What the hell?” One of your friends exclaimed when you plopped down on your lounge chair. You almost nodded because, yeah, what the hell?

The thirty minutes felt like days, as you sat in your chair. Your legs were crossed, book open in your lap but you were too anxious to really read. The words were all jumbled and your eyes were flicking over to the other side of the pool area. Billy was in his usual element and if he felt even half of the anxiety you were feeling, then he was a damn good actor. His posture was too relaxed, and he looked calmer than you felt.

You pretended not to look as another lifeguard padded out to where Billy was climbing down the ladder. They exchanged a few words and then Billy was walking away. You couldn’t look away as he passed you, and when your eyes briefly met, you quickly averted your gaze with warmth creeping up your face.

He disappeared into the building, and you gave it exactly two minutes before you told your friends you’d hit the restrooms. You didn’t give them a chance to say anything, getting out of your chair and walking briskly the way Billy had gone.

It was empty in the lobby area, everyone outside basking in the sun instead of sitting indoors. Heather was manning the reception, head down as she scribbled in a notepad. She looked bored and you sidestepped out of her field of view in fear that she’d spot you and strike up a conversation.

You felt his presence before you saw him.

“Come with me.” Billy grabbed your hand, pulling you along as he began walking down a narrow hallway.

You silently followed him, trying not to think too hard about how warm his hand was as it engulfed yours or how nicely his back muscles moved beneath his black top. His hair was curly and frizzy, looking a little dry from all the chlorine water and sunshine. He smelled like chlorine too, but it was more pleasant than one would expect.

It took you a moment to realise that he had stopped outside a door the furthest away from the lobby and you felt your eyebrows scrunch in a frown when he unlocked the door and pushed it open; Revealing a supply closet. It was big, cluttered and smelt weird.

Billy didn’t seem to mind much though, pulling you inside and closing the door behind you. The darkness blanketed the room for a second before the boy flicked the switch. You blinked to get used to the dim light, turning around to look at Billy. Your heart was racing and the small sense of bravado you were feeling earlier had been extinguished as you stood in front of the unruly haired boy. He seemed to be contemplating you, eyes roaming your figure before he took a step forward.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, voice low enough that you felt it in the pit of your abdomen.

You almost shook your head, because kissing was romantic and intimate and this was anything but that. But you looked in his eyes, gaze dropping to his lips and you found yourself nodding your consent because they looked too inviting not to taste.

He didn’t waste time, fingers sliding over the sides of your throat and into your hair as he crowded your space. You stepped with him when he walked you backwards, pushing your body into a shelf. The impact had your mouth open in a gasp, but he swooped forward to swallow the sound. You moaned in surprise, eyes fluttering closed at the taste of minty gum and cigarette smoke.

Billy was a lot of things, and a good kisser was one of them. Sure, you didn’t have much experience but it didn’t take a genius to recognise a person who knew what he was doing. His lips moved with purpose, tilting your head with the help of his hands as he slowly explored your mouth. His nose pressed into your cheek, little puffs of breath escaping him. He pulled at your hair a little too hard and you unexpectedly moaned into his mouth at the pleasurable pain.

Your stomach was clenching and turning, heart beating so fast that you were afraid he’d be able to feel it when he pressed his chest against yours. If he did, he said nothing of it as he instead pried your mouth open wider for him to taste your tongue. He licked and sucked, his hands leaving your hair to explore your body. You were thankful to still be in your bikini, because it allowed you to feel the heat of his hands as they grabbed and pinched at the skin of your body.

“Good?” He asked breathlessly against your lips, pulling away a bit to look into your eyes.

He grinned wickedly at what he saw on your face; Eyes dazed and blown with lust, lips kissed raw. Billy didn’t know you, but it was clear that you were inexperienced and he intended to have your knees trembling and your voice hoarse before he let you walk out of the supply closet.

“Good.” You echoed, lips touching his when you nodded.

He couldn’t help but feel a small pang of endearment at the sight of you, hurrying to catch your lips in another filthy kiss before his mind strayed too far into unknown territory.

Your chest burned at the lack of oxygen you were getting, but you had no intention of slowing down because your bikini bottoms were getting damp with your slick and that was something new. A person had never had that effect on you. You didn’t even know it was possible to orgasm without the help of your hands and here you were now, turned on beyond belief just because someone was kissing you.

“Fuck, such a good girl,” Billy dragged his lips to your jaw, sucking and licking down your neck and between your tits. He paused a moment to pull back and reach his hands out to grab a handful of them. The action had you gasping, arching into his hold as he swiped his thumbs over your puckered nipples. “Oh baby, someone’s been neglecting you, hm?”

Your face burned at his words, a small whimper tumbling out of your mouth when he grabbed the flimsy material of your cups and pulled them down. Your hands automatically went up to hide your chest from him, but Billy tutted and grabbed both of your hands with a laugh.

“Billy—“ you turned your head up to stare at the ceiling in embarrassment.

“They’re so pretty, sweetheart, look at you.”

His voice had you squirming, pressing your thighs together and Billy almost groaned at the sight. His hands kneaded at your tits, sucking your right nipple into your mouth with a wet noise. His eyes were trained on your face, silently willing you to look back down so you could see how fucking starved he was for you.

The idea of fucking you was something that had passed his mind many times before. At those silly pep rallies, when you walked down the hallway with your friends in your uniform. Hell, he’d fantasise about bending you over and pulling at your ponytail in the classes he did attend. But those were fantasies, nothing more.

He could hardly believe that you were here, tits on display and his mouth suckling on you like a depraved man. He was quick to switch buds, giving it the same treatment before he kissed his way down your stomach. It was heaving, a clear indication that you were turned on beyond belief and something about that had Billy feeling absolutely feral. Fuck, he could smell you from where he was crouched in front of you.

His hands stroked your calves, up your legs before they stopped on your thighs. You whined into the room, bucking your hips a little when he stopped moving.

“Hey,” his voice broke the tense silence. “Look at me.”

You closed your mouth, swallowing as you glanced down at him. He was on his knees, pupils blown wide with lust and lips looking extra pink in the dim light. His cheeks were flushed, a light smattering of red and it looked way better on him than you wanted to admit.

“Tell me, sweetheart,” his voice was teasing, deliciously seductive. “Has anyone ever made you come?”

You rolled your hips at his words, feeling way too turned on to keep yourself together as you whined. It felt like you’d actually die if he didn’t touch you soon. Billy didn’t care though, he expected an answer and he pinched your thighs harshly in retaliation

“Answer me, pretty girl.” He coaxed. “Has anyone ever eaten this little pussy out?”

You felt like you were burning up from the inside when you looked down at him, shaking your head bashfully. “No.”

Billy frowned then, because fuck what a shame. And he voiced that out loud. “That’s a damn shame. You look so pretty like this, and you haven’t even come on my mouth yet.”

That got a moan out of you.

“Please, please,” your voice was small, needy. You were beyond caring about shame or anything other than his hands on you.

Billy danced his fingers up your thighs, touching your pussy over the material of your bikini bottoms. He felt a zap of arousal down his spine when he felt the bump of your swollen clit beneath his finger. You shuddered violently when he pressed the pad of his finger down against your nub, grin forming on his lips.

“Please, what?” He whispered, leaning forward to kiss your hip.

“Please, touch me.”

He didn’t waste anymore time, hooking his fingers into your bottoms and yanking them down your legs. He tapped your calf, urging you to step out of them and you were quick to obey. Billy grinned at your eagerness, fingers finding your center and spreading your lips open. You gasped at the sudden cool air on your slick pussy, rearing your hips back.

He grunted and grabbed a hold of your hip with one hand to pull you forward. You went willingly, mouth dropping open in a silent moan when he leaned forward and sealed his mouth on your cunt.

It was a new feeling, having someone’s mouth on you like this. Your ex-boyfriend had only ever fingered you before he fucked you, and you’d never managed to orgasm with him. Yet here you were, Billy’s mouth licking and sucking on your most sensitive area and your legs were trembling.

It felt like you were falling into the abyss, mind far away and mouth gapping open in silent moans and harsh intakes of breath. You tried to keep eye contact with the boy between your legs, but then he’d suck on or flick your clit with his tongue and you’d throw your head back.

The noises he was making were absolutely obscene, and it lit your nerves up like never before. He was moaning like a starved man, tongue digging into your hole and nose touching your clit so deliciously that you felt the telltale signs of an orgasm incoming.

You let go of the shelf with one hand to grip Billy’s hair, the softness of it grounding you for exactly two seconds before you were starting to make these needy, high pitched noises at the back of your throat. Billy loved it, but you were still in public and you were getting a little too loud. He pulled his mouth away from you, sliding a finger into you instead to keep you skating right on the edge of your orgasm.

“You need to be quiet sweetheart,” he whispered, mirroring your movement when you looked back down to nod at him. He wasn’t even sure you were fully listening to him, judging by the fucked out expression on your face. “Can you do that? Be quiet for me?”

You hummed, a dragged out mmm sound that went up in pitch when he crooked his finger up into the spongy spot, returning his mouth to solely focus on your clit. He ate you out eagerly, listening for sound cues and upping his speed when you bucked your hips into him. His scalp was on fire with how you were pulling at his hair, trying to get him as close to you as humanly possible, but he loved it. Billy was so hard in his shorts that he was sure he’d bust if he got a hand around himself.

He clasped a hand on one of your butt cheeks to pull you into him, and you don’t know why that did it for you. But your mouth opened into a silent scream as you shuddered through your orgasm; Pushing yourself into him as your vision blacked out.

Billy was humming into you, creating little vibrations against your clit that was rapidly growing more sensitive the longer he stayed licking on it. You moaned weakly, head lolling forward to find him staring at you.

“Mmm, hurts,” you rasped, jerking when he sucked on your sensitive bud. “Billy—“

“One more, sweetheart. Give me one more.” He begged you, sliding a second finger into your dripping core.

You almost buckled, grabbing the shelf behind you with both hands to keep yourself upright. The aftershocks faded the longer Billy licked and fucked you on his fingers, a familiar tingling returning as he started pickling up speed.

“Oh Billy,” you moaned, a touch too loud but you didn’t seem to care all to much as you started humping forwards.

Billy flushed, pleased with himself as he leaned back. His jaw was killing him so he replaced his tongue with his calloused thumb, rolling your clit underneath the pad of it like an expert.

“C’mon baby, let me see that pretty face.” He urged you on, fucking you harder and deeper with his fingers.

He didn’t expect you to buck your hips forward, throwing your head back and wail your orgasm out as you came on his hand. You were dripping, body trembling as it tilted forward as if to chase his relentless hand on your pussy. He was in awe, eyes not straying from your sweaty face as you came down from your high, slowing his fingers down before he eventually pulled them out.

You gave away a small hitched moan at the emptiness, and Billy couldn’t help but reach forward to give your clit a little kiss. Your hips jumped at the small touch to your sensitive bud, and you heaved a weak moan.

“Good?” He asked, feeling and sounding quite pleased with himself.

You didn’t reply, still a little lost in your recovery. But that was answer enough for the boy as he slowly reached for your bikini bottoms, pulling them up your legs and mournfully covering your pussy once again. He got to his feet, knees protesting and back aching.

You looked sinfully good, your tits still on display and sweaty all over. Your hands were still grasping onto the shelf as you struggled to hold your weight up, and Billy grinned at that. He silently pulled your cups up over your chest, covering it before he stroked a stray of sweaty hair from your face.

You blinked your eyes open then, and Billy almost lost his breath when they focused on him. You’d been so disarmed during the whole session, relaxed and shameless. So, it was almost endearing to watch how you came back to the present, stumbling upright on shaky legs and face morphing into that shy expression you often donned.

“I can—“ you trailed off weakly, reaching a hand out to grab at his shorts. Billy gathered all the strength in the world to stop you, fingers once again circling your wrist. You blinked up at him, confusion written all over your face.

Billy was still hard, aching to come, but you were in absolutely no shape to reciprocate and he was fine with that. He’d just wait until he got home to rub one out, probably.

“No need,” he gave you a smile when you frowned. “We’ll save that for next time.”

He had expected you to scoff, to roll your pretty little eyes and say that there was no next time. But all you did was give him a slow, shy smile. “Okay.”

Next time. You could work with that.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x fem reader #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagine #stranger things smut #stranger things fic

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jovenshires · 3 months

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hey gang!

i've been thinking, and i think it's about time i take a tiny, teeny lil hiatus. just wanted to let you know i'll be gone for a lil while (hopefully a week+ depending on how it goes). this is NOT because of any of you - in fact i am going to miss you all dearly. just think i need a bit of a mental health reset luvs.

i will have my queue running - i've upped the time and number of posts as well so it will run throughout my normal hours here - and i have content (incorrect tweets, some video edits, gifsets, etc.) lined up until. like may so don't worry about that snkjfk (i won't be gone for that long prommy i just do a lot of content prep). i'll also be watching smosh every day as per usual, and still working on stuff while im gone!! i think this'll be a really great opportunity to get some work done - i have so many fics and passion projects lined up that im really excited about, so hopefully i'll get to finish those in the meantime and i may be back to post them <3 at the very least i'll be back by valentines day for the smoshblr exchange!!

i won't be checking my notifs, the smosh tag, or anything like that. if you want me to see smth in the meantime, hit me with a tag or a dm and i promise i'll see it when i get back. my askbox is still open but i'm afraid i probably won't be answering anything for the time being. if you're an anon who sends me asks - please please please keep sending them to me. truly you have no idea how much i enjoy our silly lil daily chats, they mean the world to me. i will be back to answer them as soon as i feel like im ready <3 and as for dms, i will answer them once i come back, but if you wanna talk to me urgently, i have discord/snapchat/whatsapp/etc where you can find me if you want to hmu for those <3 even if we've never spoken before!! i don't bite and i love friends prommy. i'll def be around for the rest of the day if you want to get my info!

like i said, i'll be around if anyone has any burning questions or wants to chat. i love you all, keep going strong, and be good while i'm gone. in my honor, please follow my golden rules: be kind to one another, make lots of silly goofy content, and, most importantly, do whatever you want forever. love ya! :)

#personal #smoshblr #long post

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fatalwhims · 3 months

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@tristampparty's Tristamp Anniversary 2024

Day 9 - Episode Nine: Millions Knives

Continuing with gifsets featuring my favourite tracks from the tristamp OST. (I ended up picking pretty much all the tracks for this episode lol)

Previous days: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8

Lol like the above says...yeah I think I included all the tracks this episode. They were all just so good! (The first three are on my playlist, and Geodome is an extra addition because I want to link thoughts about it).

Duet - nothing else to say here other than another beautiful Knives-centric piano song. But can I just say that I love how Vash comes and nudges Nai over in this gif? It's so damn cute.

Last Run - I like the progression of this track. It really does sound like it's gearing up for some type of "run", especially when that...electronic bit?? (I honestly have no idea what to call it) kicks in at around 1:25. Makes me think of something revving up lol. And then we get to hear compatriots again and the transition to Knives' theme.

Drain Gate - More of that....electronic bit! (Seriously if someone knows what I should be calling that please let me know. It gives me cyber-esque vibes) And more Knives' theme. It's hard to not include everything that includes his leitmotif - it's just so freaking good.

Geodome - For this I want to point to this post originally from @revenantghost who got me thinking about this track by sharing their thoughts :)

Timestamps!

Duet - very beginning of the ep

Last Run - 4:10

Drain Gate - 10:45

Geodome - 14:30

#the bit where we find out how vash loses his arm in this episode still floors me btw #like him pointing the gun at Knives after and you can see Knives' heart break #ANYWAYS thanks for continuing to join me on this ride #and if anyone ever reads my notes under the cut - thank you!!! seriously it means a lot #trigun #tristampparty #tristamp #trigun stampede #blood #ETA: i judt realized i messed up the text on the duet gif LOL rip

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tawaifeddiediaz · 11 months

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Hi!

I was just wondering if you have a tutorial on how you created this effect in your gifset, it's something I'd like to try but have no idea where to start. Your set is so pretty! Any helps appreciated x

https://www.tumblr.com/tawaifeddiediaz/712911415428743168/ill-take-you-with-me-then-well-both-die-you?source=share

Hey Nonnie, thank you! This is super late, but I don't actually have the psd for this set anymore (I delete them as soon as I post them), so we're just gonna wing it with a gif I made the other day. I think this ask is about the text, but if it's anything else, just drop me another line and I'll get to it when I can!

I'm pretty sure I got this tutorial from the wonderful @eddiediaaz but I then turned it into Lazy Girl Hours :)) anywho, here we go!

We’ll be making this gif:

This tutorial assumes basic knowledge of gif-making, Photoshop, and coloring. I’ve only described the typography tutorial in this, but you can reach out if you have any questions.

Tutorial under the cut:

Couple things to note beforehand:

There is a lot of trial and error involved when doing any sort of effect, and this is no exception! You might have to play around with the colors and the settings before you find something that looks good and readable and that fits your set!

This text effect works better on big gifs (540px width).

For this, I find that a simple font works better than a fully-cursive one, but play around with what you like. The boxes may need some adjusting if you use a font with too many tall or tail letters (i.e. text where all the letters aren't on one uniform line - that's why capital letters work so well.)

Movement works really well with effects like these, but again, it depends on your gif + readability. If you have a blended gif, it may take a little more trial and error.

I work in frame animation for all my text effects, but this works just as well in timeline as well.

We’re going to start with this gif:

First, I like to put my text on the gif. You can obviously move this around later so don't worry too much about how it looks right now.

The dialogue is "Just don't feel it." "Feel" is one of those Big Words for this quote, so I'm going to emphasize it with cursive text.

I am using Moon for the sans serif text, and Santa Fe Spring for the cursive text. Keep both of these in white for now:

Next, we're going to use the rectangular marquee tool to draw our rectangles around the capital letters (we're not touching the cursive text right now). I just eyeball this, and then try to center it as much as possible.

(The rectangular marquee tool has a keyboard shortcut of M, and it's the second tool in that little toolbar on the left of most people's Photoshop.)

This is what that'll look like:

Next, we're going to go down to the icons at the bottom right of the layers panel and select the half-black half-white circle > Color Fill.... You should get a color dialogue box. Choose your color - I'm using #8d0000. Then, we're going to move that layer below the corresponding text layer, and set its blending mode to Difference. This is what that looks like (click the image for better quality):

I'm going to repeat that with the other two boxes as well, using the same color. The boxes will look different with the Difference blending mode because of the shadows underneath.

For example, the box with "it" looks like a solid red square because it's against a completely black background, while the other two have some blue shading to them since there are some highlights behind them.

This is what my gif looks like now:

Next, I like to go The Lazy Girl™ route and put all three color-fill layers into one group underneath all the text layers. This just lets me edit the drop shadow of all three of them at the same time.

Right-click the group and open up the Blending Options. In Drop Shadow, these are the settings I'm using. The drop shadow color is #0c6477:

(Note: uncheck "Use Global Light" especially if you're working in frame animation to make sure all the drop shadow has the same angle on all frames.)

This is what my gif looks like now:

Now that we've finished that, time to move on to the cursive text.

I usually match the cursive text to the palette of the rest of the text, and since the drop shadow is our "accent" color, so to speak, I'm going to use a lighter version of that color. I am also going to add a drop shadow for readability.

The color I used for the text is #acfffe and I actually ended up adding two drop shadows, just because I needed something subtle that doesn't overwhelm the text, especially since it's a delicate font. Here are the settings for both layers:

And here's what my gif looks like now:

Now, before we move on to the lines, just check the adjustment of all these text layers, see if there's anything you want to change. It's easier to change now than after the lines are added, since you'll most likely have to redraw them if you move the boxes after the fact.

To draw the lines, we're going to use the Line Tool. I just freehand all of this, and I try to go from center to center of the boxes when I can. It all depends on your angles.

My lines are 2px thick, but you can change these depending on your preference. Here's what mine look like right now:

We're going to do the same lazy hack that we did for the color fill, and put all three line layers into a group. Move this group below the text layer and the color fill layers. The reason for this is so that the lines look like they're coming seamlessly from the box, rather than from on top of them or something.

Then, set the group to opacity 50%. I like more subtle, simple looks in my gifs, so I don't like super high opacities.

And that's it! This is our final gif:

Some final notes:

Absolutely play around with the blending modes of the color fill layers for this effect. These two gifs are the exact same color we've been using, just two different blending modes. You can see how drastically different they look. The first one is Linear Dodge (Add) and the second one is Vivid Light:

It can change how your gif looks in a BIG way, so play around with it, see what you like, especially if you don't really like the "two toned" thing going on.

Sometimes, I also like playing with the width and height of the text in the font settings, making it shorter and wider, or making it taller and more compact. You can play with the letter spacing as well. The world is your oyster, etc etc.

One other thing I've started doing is erasing the lines with a big brush, just to fade them from his face a little, like this:

To do that, use a layer mask on the line layer folder, and a brush that's 0% hardness, and at least 200px big. For this gif, I also changed the opacity of the lines back to 100% so the fading effect is a little more pronounced:

(this gif isn't the best example for this, but oh well. Anywho, hope this helps, Nonnie! Let me know if you have any questions.

Enjoy!

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callunavulgari · 4 months

Text

Top 25 Fics of 2023

1. whatever you want by Wildehack (tyleet) | Wolf 359 | Kepler/Jacobi | 5k

Kepler doesn't fuck him that first day, when Daniel swallows his pride like it's a hot coal he can feel boiling down to the pit of his stomach and dials the number left on the card. Heather Says: Back in 2017, Wolf 359 changed my life. I relisten to it every year. I reread fic. I sometimes write it. And THIS year, I was blessed with one of my favorites writing my favorites from Wolf 359. It's honestly exactly what I wanted out of a Wolf 359 fix it/coda.

2. god was a dog-man by @andthepeople | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 13k

“Do you have a secret teenage son?” Stiles demands, as soon as Derek opens the door. Heather Says: I did NOT watch the Teen Wolf movie this year. I did, however, relentlessly stalk reaction posts and (very select) gifsets. I also read this fantastic fic, which is now the movie in my brain because since I didn't see it, I'll never know.

3. then out of nowhere, somebody comes and hits you with an ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh by @calciseptine | Deadpool | Peter/Wade | 49k

A man with spider-themed superpowers accidentally breaks into Wade's apartment. Heather Says: Deadpool is one of those fandoms that I'm technically a part of because I like it and I think Spiderman and Deadpool is both hilarious and hot, but it's always just on the edge of my peripherals. But sometimes Steve's fic just kind of creeps on me and demands my attention. This was my feel good fic this spring.

4. By the Laws of Magic by Lenore | The Sandman | Dream/Hob | 32k

It’s 1959, and Hob Gadling is working at a London auction house, amazing his colleagues with his uncanny knowledge of art and artifacts from the 14th century on. When he gets the assignment to catalogue a family library at a place called Fawney Rig, he looks forward to a working vacation in the country. What he finds is a house with a preternatural chill where odd disturbances happen daily, an ornate carved door with a secret clearly hidden behind it, and visions of his mysterious stranger every time he turns around. Heather Says: I honestly love this ship. The fairy tale elements combined with the very compelling idea that in another universe much like this one, Hob Gadling ends up saving Dream from his glass prison made for some truly great fiction.

5. Dawnshot Through the Heart by @sirnotappearinginthisblog | Wax&Wayne series | Wax/Wayne | WIP | 80k

Ten years ago, Wayne fled instead of letting himself get arrested for murder. He’s been an outlaw ever since, keeping one step ahead of the lawkeepers who want him dead or alive—especially Dawnshot. But his luck was bound to run out eventually, and he knows how it always ends for the Bad Guys in stories. Heather Says: I think that this is the only WIP on here but I cannot rightfully leave it off because I LOVED this fic this year. I love the Mistborn series, but I've never really sought out fic for it before. This one though, this one found me. The writing is SUPERB and I wish it was a bigger fandom because it deserves so much love, you guys. It's so so so good. I love Wax and Wayne's dynamic in the series. They're great. But also- what if they had an enemies to lovers thing going on that turned poly? WHAT IF?!

6. One Size Fits All by @entanglednow | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 65k

Steve just wanted to do something nice for a friend, he doesn't mean to get Eddie's ring stuck on his finger, and it's definitely not his fault that everyone he knows is jumping to conclusions. Heather Says: This is not the last time that you will see this author or this ship on this list. I really would have thought that Steddie would have crept out of my brain right now, but NOPE. And part of that is because every couple weeks entanglednow drops an absolute BANGER of a fic that obliterates my brain for anything else.

7. you are spring by @wildehacked | Supernatural | Castiel/Dean | 20k

God makes a wish. His parents work some things out. Heather Says: I got very close to leaving this one off the list, not because it wasn't good or that it wasn't one of my top 25 but purely because I've been out of the Supernatural fandom for so many years. I mean, c'mon. I didn't watch the last FIVE seasons. However, getting to follow along wildehacked's rewatch journey on twitter was a blast from the past and then THIS lovely shining fic that they churned out lured me back in for one last nibble at this ship that took over my life for the better part of a decade. It is so incredibly amazing and since I never finished the series, I will happily go on pretending that this is how it ended.

8. Interim by starkraving | BotW/TOtK | Ganondorf/Link/Zelda | 95k

She has no throne. Girls without thrones should not have knights, but hers won’t go. Princess Zelda – the girl who killed Calamity – would love to fade into legend, but Link’s bought a house, he’s fighting off monsters, and he’s selling giant horses to strangely familiar Gerudo men. She'll never have any peace now. Heather Says: This fic. THIS FIC. Is so richly built. Is so intoxicating. It leans into found family. You spend chapter after chapter watching Zelda and Link traverse Hyrule with the hot Gerudo that they met along the way after the events of the first game. And it is so fucking compelling. Honestly, while I'm happy that they smooched, I would have been completely fine reading another 100k of just these three wandering Hyrule together, being absolute goblins. 10 out 10, will read again.

9. one hundred years past by tciddaemina | BotW/TotK | Ganondorf/Link | 38k

Link wakes up a century early. It changes everything. Heather Says: Can you tell that playing Tears of the Kingdom left me desperately thirsty for any and all Ganondorf content this summer? I'm a sucker for all sides of the poly triforce but I'll admit that Ganondorf and Link scratches that enemies to lovers itch PERFECTLY if it's done well. And this one is done well.

10. Step Right Up by entanglednow | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 3k

Steve had mostly given up on trying to meet anyone new after everything, but it's been six months and his friends had started giving him pointed nudges to get out there again. Heather Says: Told you it wouldn't be the last you saw of entanglednow. I actually think that this might be my favorite fic that they've written? Which is saying a lot because I will scream it to the rafters that any Steddie fan should read their fic. But this is FUN HOUSE MIRROR MAZE and MISTAKEN IDENTITY KISSING. Guys, I have no chill about this fic. I have no chill about Steve's hands in Eddie's hair, or the sounds that he makes, or the smell of strawberry. It is just so so good.

11. the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by @greatunironic | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 35k

Sixteen years after the world didn't end for the last time, Max Mayfield showed up on Steve’s doorstep and said, “You gonna walk me down the aisle in May or what?” Or, it’s 2002 and Steve Harrington attends a wedding, a funeral, and a birth. Heather Says: I genuinely do not think that I have words for this one. It is one of those all encompassing fics that sucks you in and just won't spit you out again. It hurts, an ache just under the breastbone. But god, it's so beautiful.

12. Fight Night by @rlnerdgirl | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 12k

Stiles starts fighting in college. He doesn't tell anyone. Heather Says: There are three...? Yeah, three Teen Wolf fics on this list. Three. Like it's 2015 again. Like my brain broke and time went ticking all the way back to when I was ridiculously invested in these characters. But honestly? All three Teen Wolf fics on this list are incredibly therapeutic. They get to be the ending for me instead of whatever clusterfuck good ole Jeff tried to pull. This one in particular is fantastic because it's canon-divergence after SEASON one. Yes, we have Erica and Boyd. Yes, Stiles is BAMF. It's a good read.

13. strange fear i ain’t felt for years by Sister | Batman | Tim/Jason | 31k

“Can’t believe a pretty thing like you has to come begging to the Red Hood,” he says against Tim’s neck. “Thought they’d be lining up down the block for you. Thought Daddy would need to get the shotgun.” Heather Says: Oh look, another ship and fandom that I was only peripherally aware of that had me in a chokehold for a good month and a half. I don't even like DC that much.

14. Silver-Tongue by starkraving | Baldur's Gate 3 | Astarion/Karlach | 9k

Astarion fast-talks an abnormal number of enemies into killing themselves in the shadow-cursed lands and the team makes idle (then less idle) conversation about it. Heather Says: Okay, so I STILL have not finished this game. I have however very carefully consumed as much content as I can get my hands on without being completely and totally spoiled. This was the first fic that I really loved in this fandom. It's no surprise that I ship Astarion happily with everyone, but damn is he good with Karlach in this one. Their characterization is perfect.

15. A Sign of The Morning by ToEdenandBackAgain | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 86k

Vecna is dead. The Upside Down is cut off from Hawkins yet again. Steve is trying to go back to normal, whatever that is. He's also trying to figure out exactly how Eddie Munson has managed to fit so easily into his life. Heather Says: Honestly? What can I say about this one? It has 19,000 kudos despite being published last June. It's on a ridiculous number of collection/rec lists. The tension is exquisite. The found family? Even better.

16. Phantom of Truth by Haiju | Danny Phantom | Maddie Fenton & Danny Fenton | 58k

Locked away in a secret government lab with Phantom as her sole object of study, nothing stands between Maddie and the truth... except, perhaps, herself. Heather Says: Oh look, another fandom that I have never ever been a part of. I saw this REALLY NEAT and angsty tiktok (tw for ghosty gore) and basically immediately was sucked into a show that I've never even watched before. The comments lead me to this fic which is perfectly gen, angsty, and honestly absolutely perfect. I cannot get over how much I loved this.

17. Manacled by senlinyu | Harry Potter | Draco/Hermione | 370k

Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Heather Says: I did the thing. I read the incredibly dark fic that I've been avoiding since 2018. I typically steer-clear of anything that is overly bleak and I do not tiptoe into non-con waters often. But one of our groomsmen who isn't even involved with fandom read this so that his girlfriend would watch Star Wars with him and then spent a good portion of a Halloween party talking it up. So I gave it a shot. Over all, it is too bleak for me. That said, I finished it in a weekend. I loved it. I hated it. I wish I'd broken it up over a longer period of time because the emotional bleed off of it was intense.

18. Ready for Love by @idiopathicsmile | Singin in the Rain | Cosmo/Kathy/Don | 12k

Don and Kathy would move in together. They would have a dog or two and then inevitably, a small parade of adorable little brats who would call him Uncle Cosmo, and they would spend less and less time with him, not on purpose but busy with the rest of their lives, and ultimately Cosmo would learn to make his peace with it because he’d have no other choice and he would have to try to move on and not live too much in his memories. He could picture it so clearly, he figured if the songwriting gig with Monumental didn’t pan out, he could always return to the backwater circuit with a new act: The Amazing Cosmo of the Cosmos—ladies and gentlemen, he sees the future, he reads the stars, he silently pines for his best married pal and all the while tap dancing! Don and Kathy inviting him along on their honeymoon, though—that part was a surprise. Heather Says: I LOVE this movie. It is one of my biggest comfort movies. I watch it to feel happy. I watch it when I'm sad. And I have always shipped these three but NEVER read fic for it. And honestly? I'm glad I waited for a good fic to find me because this one was perfect.

19. A Series of Forgettable Events by @trensu | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 27k

Steve wanted to be a dad more than anything. Unfortunately, he was a single dude in his thirties which meant no adoption agency in the world was willing to give him a chance. Or at least no human adoption agency. Heather Says: Honestly just a delightful little jaunt in a world where Steve wants to be a dad, Eddie is a very overprotective siren, and the kids are, well. Little horrors. I love it. There's a sequel now which I am very patiently waiting to read it until I am less busy in RL.

20. the dry sand of daylight by @andthepeople | Inception | Arthur/Eames | 15k

Arthur is married to Eames for the better part of a decade. Then he wakes up. Heather Says: This fic left me ACHING for the Inception fandom circa 2010-2012. When livejournal was still a thing and the fandom community was alive and thriving. It is so achingly tender and perfect. I had forgotten how much I loved them.

21. brutalist masterpieces by @greatunironic | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 12k

Ten years on, in a town in Nova Scotia, on the edge of the Atlantic, Eddie finds Steve again, and also maybe himself. Heather Says: Maybe that's my thing this year. Achingly sweet tender pieces that leave you reeling in the aftermath. This fic is SO incredibly beautiful.

22. What Made Milwaukee Famous by synthetica | Danny Phantom | Vlad/Danny | 30k

Ten years after establishing a tenuous truce, Danny crash-lands at Vlad's Milwaukee lakehouse with a particularly nasty wound, three days recovery time, and absolutely nothing to do but talk to his long-lost archnemesis. Heather Says: I'm told that this is something of a rarepair. However, from the limited information that I have from the series I can say with full certainty that two ghostly beings locked for years as enemies growing up and meeting in the middle? Fully my thing.

23. then now and always by @raisesomehale | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 13k

Stiles is stuck. Stiles is stuck in the fucking snow in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere at night with a broken down car three days before Christmas, and the nearest tow truck company—over fifty miles away—doesn’t open until morning. Heather Says: And here we have the promised third Teen Wolf fic, the most cathartic of the bunch. I am so so sweet on future fic particularly in this fandom with missed chances. And this one is just so syrupy sweet. It's winter! There's horses! Derek's an alpha! They smooch. Anyway, this is how I cope with a series finale that didn't happen and a movie that doesn't exist.

24. Terminus by @rcmclachlan | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 4k

"Keep me here," he begs against Mobius's lips. "You must keep me here." Heather Says: What do you mean you didn't spend all three replays of the Loki series finale weeping into a pillow? What do you mean you didn't spend the next few days trying to find the perfect coda? What do you mean that you didn't find this fic and positively expire from the sheer fucking tenderness in Mobius' voice? What do you mean? What. do you. mean? Anyway, I know I'm not supposed to have number one favorites. This list exists because I cannot condense it further than 25. But guys, this was my favorite fic this year.

25. Eye Of The Beholder by @entanglednow | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 22k

Eddie works himself up to ask Steve if he can borrow his instant camera, because the type of pictures he wants to take are…not the kind he can get developed in town. Heather Says: And to round it out, another Steddie. This one with sexy photos. The tension is killer.

#heather says what #top 25 #year in review #fic recs #recommendations #2023 #new year's memes #teen wolf #stranger things #loki #inception #supernatural #danny phantom #dc #harry potter

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inchidentally · 4 months

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I'm so curious to hear what you think about non RPF differences between Lando with Carlos, DR and Oscar. I don't do a lot of RPF shipping personally but your takes on all of them are so intriguing and feel pretty truthful. I feel like fandom ignores that it hasn't all been smooth sailing with Lando and his teammates and want to know what you think about the less rose-tinted side of that?

okay so jsyk I always end up a little rose-tinted even when talking about non-RPF Lando relationships but I like to hope I stay truthful in terms of not inventing any kind of sexual/dating/etc narrative that just doesn't exist. and I'm afraid I'm about to go insane in my response so hopefully you don't mind that either lol.

also @twinkodium is so much better at timelines than I am so pls can you add your part to this if you get a chance??

so just to establish which I think we all know: Lando has a tendency to take his warm heart out of his chest and hold it up to anyone who seems even remotely kind or friendly. yes, he's got a bite to him and a temper but honestly that's all also part of being far too open to people. if a person - especially other men and boys - show him even a hint of affection or camaraderie then he's all in immediately. especially as the youngest driver on the grid for so many years.

truly, I think Carlos and Daniel didn't know what to do when Lando put his little beating heart into their big, clumsy hands. the fact that the level of openness and devotion they got - immediately - from Lando was so much down to Lando's insecurity in F1 and how much he was dealing with mentally, was way too much for two guys who honestly only expect to have a laugh sometimes with their teammate. maybe be chummy enough to hang out sometimes and make media responsibilities less tedious.

and Lando was so happy to be the adoring satellite, shrieking with laughter over all their jokes in exchange for him latching securely onto an established F1 personality. but Carlos and Daniel were running the show while they were his teammates - they were the entertainment and Lando was sort of a conduit for the adoring fans. and what's interesting is I think that we can pretty visibly see the turn with each of them where Lando came thudding down to that realization himself. that he would have to change his own ideas about friendship with both of them in order to remain friends at all. there's the infamous 2020 carlando "breakup" gifset (here) where Lando's face just sours at Carlos in his traitorous blood red suit making some offhand comment

and Lando cuts such a wide berth from him that it puts two whole people between them. by the time Lando reaches the reporters waiting at the media pen, his face looks gray and set

and it's like damn, we straight up witnessed Lando standing up for himself and setting up some boundaries with Carlos.

the moments with Daniel were more scattered but you could see them when Daniel was doing his usual attempts at the bromance thing and sometimes Lando was just. not. having it. there's the moment in particular of Daniel coming up behind him and hooking his chin over Lando's shoulder and oh. you can feel the coolness coming off Lando bc he's genuinely going through something and needs a friend, not another performance for the cameras.

ohhhh and the response of "no one" when asked who his best friend was on the grid was before casting around a bit and finally saying Carlos. parallel that to his irritated dismissal of the journalist pushing for carlando in Vegas and reminding them that none of these guys are his real friends they're his F1 buddies and he "hates them" when racing them. by the time 2023 rolled around Lando grew up, set up boundaries and will only give what he chooses to his friendships with Carlos and Daniel. which is overall so much healthier and has probably ensured that those friendship didn't die out completely. but they're not what they once were for him. Carlos and Daniel are allowed to visit the garden of Eden that is being fully intimate with Lando - but the gates always shut behind them when it’s time to leave.

genuinely I don't blame Carlos or even Daniel (even if I don't like a lot about him) bc literally neither of them has ever had a friend like Lando - and probably don't know any guy like him. and they're both such Typical Dudes - as well as being fully a different generation to Lando - so how were they supposed to know a sensitive, naive kid like this would be in F1 let alone their teammate? guys they know never butterfly themselves open to other guys except for extremely long term friendships - if even then. Lando above all wants to have a good heart and he just trusts people, and while it makes men absolutely crazy about him it's surely got to get him hurt a lot. you can even see it with his media pen work where he reacts to difficult questions or fairly open hostility with a wide disarming smile because he'd rather bring someone round than openly fight with them. even Daniel who definitely utilizes his smile to dominate and disarm can still easily be baited into hostility compared to Lando. but when someone persists in being a twat to Lando, he just closes off with that cold, sour look and bam. that moron just lost themselves any access to the garden of Eden.

and I'm not saying we know enough about Oscar to say that Lando's heart is definitely safe with him, but the absolutely huge difference is that Oscar came into being his teammate fully aware of who Lando is and he was willing to hold back and be content just being a teammate and let a friendship develop if Lando felt so inclined. *hint: this sign of respect and deference will be significant!

like we saw how they fell into this twinning thing at first where Oscar would mirror Lando a lot of the time - out of nerves but also deference. then as the season went on and the car still struggled, they developed sort of a tentative camaraderie born out of equally blighted hopes.

but what's really interesting is how much Silverstone was truly the turning point and not even in a fandom goggles sense. I isolated the following moments out in a video below: there's this hilarious little moment right before the fan stage where Oscar is asking Lando something like 'what's that (playing)?' and Lando seems to think Oscar is referring to the (very obvious) crowd noise and Oscar goes "no not them you idiot the song!" and it goes back and forth wayyy too long for the brain cells I would like to assume they have before they finally work out between them what song is playing.

and Lando had by the time of the fan stage momentarily set aside his own euphoria and positively showered Oscar with praise at press briefing after the race. he also repeated it at the fan stage in front of Oscar for good measure! and clearly loves it when Oscar says how he was rooting for Lando leading the race at one point.

then, like something out of a movie, as they're posing for the photo in front of the crowd, Oscar slips that arm around Lando's waist and urges him closer and you can see the whole of every thought on Lando's face. the look of surprise as Oscar's strong arm jostles his body a little, the blossoming delight, the 'woah is he really initiating this? he never does this!', and finally the big beaming smile as he wraps his arm around Oscar and settles in.

and just a few races later when Lando has another podium under his belt and has qualified 2nd at the Dutch GP, there's this other movie moment where it suddenly clicks for Lando… Oscar will always show up for him no matter what. not just when they're both doing well or both struggling, he'll always show up for Lando. out loud and where everyone can see but without a hint of performance to it.

and when you scroll through @piastrisms wonderful post-race gif compilations, you can see that dynamic shift even more to the suddenly much more tentative but openly kind of 'crushing' on each other. Oscar starts to let himself think that maybe, just maybe! the Lando of his 8-year social media obsession really likes Oscar for who he is and not just as a team obligation! this leads to him taking a few more risks during the McLaren challenges and by the time they film the beloved Austin material, Oscar has actually started to surprise Lando. from there on you can see Oscar's relief at making Lando really laugh and smile build his confidence right at the exact same time that Lando looks thrown off center and his boundaries start falling away. that mirroring they used to do started to build into trusting each other, which then led to them genuinely liking each other, and then mutually wanting to stay together as teammates. and isn't that level of security something new for Lando!

and you know what I noticed in all this that has me frothing and biting? that instead of Lando handing his beating heart over to his teammates and having it bruised and withdrawn? with Oscar, it's been the exact opposite. Lando had finally decided to be cautious from the start and keep this new anomaly teammate at arm's length - and for a while felt relieved bc the anomaly turned out to be so damn competent and quick! *oh and the anomaly was showing a level of respect and deference that Lando was not at all used to, which was so very nice but also ?? was the anomaly a little bit cold toward him ?? but then Silverstone happened and dawn broke. we finished the season out with Lando actually looking to Oscar for affirmations and wriggling excitedly and looking at Oscar with that wide-open expression on his face and Lando clearly beginning to wonder if maybe his sacred heart might fit comfortably in Oscar's hands that are smaller and gentler than the other men he's known on the grid? maybe how much more steady and careful and devoted Oscar is when it comes to his racing is reflected in how he has treated Lando, so unlike the usual "Lando effect" bromances that get all the attention and that the cameras and fans eat up. maybe the big, traditional handsome alphas and their big displays of affection are one kind of friend for Lando but perhaps not so good as a teammate. and maybe a friendship that grows too steadily and quietly for networks and social media teams to take much of an interest is another kind of friend, and maybe just the right kind of teammate.

#inchreplies #someone take my computer away from me I mean it #I cannot be normal #landoscar lore #mine #silverstone gp 2023 #angst #inchidentallyanessay #lando of the bleeding heart #for reference

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aceofwhump · 5 months

Text

Hi everyone! Welcome to my blog!

I decided to make a new pinned post with all the information that is available on my desktop site but that will be more accessible for mobile users. Plus a few extras 😉

So an introduction.

I'm Ace. I started this blog back in February 2018 after seeing a post that referenced the whump community. I had no idea there was such a large community here on tumblr! As soon as I saw that making a whump blog was an option I immediately made one. And I haven't regretted it since. I love this blog, I love this community, and I'm thrilled to be here three years later!

Here on this blog you'll see lots of gifsets both reblogged from wonderful creators and gifs made by yours truly. I also write fanfics on occasion. You can check out my work on AO3 under the name "aceofwhump" or you can look under my tag "ace writes stuff". That tag will have some stuff not on AO3 too. I also do whump lists for certain characters, trope lists, video clips of good whump, and fanfic recs.

Click on the read more for even more information and important links to things like gifmaking tutorials, my trope tag list, my show/movie tag list, my fanfic masterlist, and more!!!

My favorite tropes are:

Emotional: panic attacks, nightmares, insecurities, feeling inadequate, fear, grief, flashbacks, flinching, emotional breakdowns full of sobbing, emotional outbursts, scar reveals, anxiety, self hatred

Environmental: accidents, natural disasters like earthquakes or storms, hit by a car, collapsed building, falling through ice, heat exhaustion, hypothermia, falls, burns, infected wounds from lack of medical equipment, sickness, being unable to breathe, drowning

Small moments: limping, feeling weak and seeking support, breathing through the pain, moving wrong in a way that aggravates the pain, and the sudden seizing of his body, shaking hands, pressing the heel of his hand against his temple because of a headache, taking a moment to close his eyes because he’s light headed/exhausted/has such a bad headache

Sci-fi: space illness, oxygen deprivation, isolation, being locked in the brig, hull of the ship getting damaged, alien attacks

Injuries: broken bones, gunshot wounds, hidden injuries, bruises, beaten, concussions, collapsed lung, slings, casts, crutches, knocked unconscious, blood loss

Torture/Captivity: Being strung up by their wrists from the ceiling, drugged, chained up, caged, tied to a chair, handcuffed to a pole, interrogated

Comfort/Caretaking: hugging, “Are you okay?”, “You’re safe now”, “I’ve got you”, hand holding, helping to walk, ice packs, covering someone with a blanket, a cool cloth on their forehead to help with a fever, a fever check, touching their face to offer comfort

Magic: magical healing that causes pain, draining of powers, powers that are painful to use, curses

Stoic or defiant whumpees

Team whump

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Long detailed look at how I make my gifs

Gifmaking tutorials:

Gifmaking for Begginers: my ginormous all you need to know tutorial

Another look at how I make a gif

Tips for beginners

Tips on brightening dark scenes

How to get into gifmaking

Photoset dimensions

How to make a layout gifset

Gif speeds

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Links from my desktop blog for mobile users:

My gifs

My whump videos

Ace writes stuff

My Writing Masterlist

Trope tag list

Show list

My Whumptober Masterlists

Fanfic Rec Lists

Blog Archive

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Introducing…

ACEOFWHUMP’S FANFIC MASTERLIST!!

This has been a massive, ongoing project of mine for a while now in which I am endeavoring to catalog and categorize every fanfiction I’ve ever bookmarked. I fear this project will never be complete as I'm always reading and bookmarking new fics but I’m going to share it anyway.

Inside, you will find links and summaries to the fanfictions I’ve read over the years on both AO3 and FF.net. Each fic is sorted by the specific whumpee that they center on. So there’s a page for Danny Williams, for Mike Warren, for Lucifer Morningstar, and many many more. The fics are 90% whump with a touch of fluffy ones thrown in too. This list is based on the fics I’ve read and bookmarked so it leans heavily on my favorite whumpees and my favorite tropes.

I’ve been working on categorizing every fic by its tropes (so theoretically you could search for say seizure fics or sick fics) but that’s taking me a loooong time because I have to reread every fic in order to determine what kind of categories to make and to look for the specific tropes. So for now you’ll have to make do with the fic summaries and using the search function. When it’s done, each whumpee will have their specific trope categories so you won’t necessarily find the same tropes in each category but it should help narrow down the fics better once I’m done. This is an ongoing project for me.

The list gets updated all the time so check back in every now and then. There might be something new.

I do take suggestions of fics to add to this masterlist but please keep in mind that it may not end up on the list. It's nothing personal I promise. I just can't add every single fic in the world.

Here's the link (note that it opens best on desktop browser because it is large):

#pinned post #mod post #tags #links #blog links

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olderthannetfic · 6 months

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The "reblog, don't like. Liking hurts creators" stuff has always gotten on my nerves, who are you to tell me what to put on my blog? But I jsut saw this post, which put it in a different light. https://mayahawkse.tumblr.com/post/691239174316097536/heres-a-little-comparison-for-people-who-say

I' got on Tumblr in 2013, quit around the porn ban, and only came back pretty recently. I didn't realise that people had actually stopped reblogging things from each other.

I guess the "likes hurt creators" thing might have some validity after all. I still really don't like the tone of entitlement or the idea that expressing your appreciation to OP with a like is an insult instead of an expression of appreciation.

The comment section probably cuts into the reblog counts; people have conversations there instead of in reblog chains, and don't have to reblog an entire post just to point out one quick thing or make the same joke as everyone else, but I don't think that comments account for the ratios in that post, especially since the screenshots don't show posts with hefty comments.

So yeah, guys, likes don't hurt creators, but Tumblr is for passing posts around. If you see something you like, you can just reblog it to be all "look at this cool thing I found". You don't have to worry about adding anything meaningful in a reblog, and if you and all your mutuals reblog the same post twelve times in a row, well, that's just how Tumblr works; if someone gets anoyed they can block the post through xkit.

Eh. I'd beware of anecdata like that.

I used to get like 2 notes a post and no asks ever. On the rare occasions that I reblogged heavily in a hot fandom of the moment for a month or two, I got a lot of engagement once people realized I was a place to go for that fandom, and I particularly got a lot of reblogs because people wanted that content on their own tumblrs.

Currently, I get a decent number of reblogs, but I get a lot more other interaction because things here tend to be discussions and debates and people don't necessarily want them on their own tumblrs.

In my case, I don't like the framing that it hurts creators because that's assuming that a person would have reblogged if they hadn't liked. In reality, they probably just wouldn't have interacted.

People pass posts around all kinds of ways, including pasting links to mine into various discord channels for fandom drama or sending me links to others' posts via chat messages here.

I also don't like the framing that it hurts creators because this only makes sense if you mean that it hurts the ability of visual artists to earn money.

Am I not a creator of a kind? Do I not write copious meta even if a lot of the content here comes from others? My ~engagement numbers~ are not harmed by failing to reblog. My engagement numbers don't matter full stop.

Or maybe, maybe, it's not about money, but it's about clout-chasing nonsense. Boo hoo, my gifset doesn't do numbers because it's not 2012 and I'm not in superwholock fandom now. Oh well. Chase the crowds to another site or chase the megafandoms. That's the only way to get those numbers back.

I do think that some time after 2012, people became increasingly afraid of harassment and may have pulled back on interactions, particularly contentful ones, because of that.

But mostly, tumblr has cleared out. Fewer people are using it, and fewer of the ones remaining are using it actively in a way where it makes sense to fill their own blog with content.

Maybe part of the change is that you can't become a BNF of tasteful curation so easily now, so there's no point in reblogging unless it's for yourself?

Maybe it's gifsets that are out of fashion? I don't know.

I never had much interest in "look at this cool thing" sans commentary back then, and I have little now. I have my activity page set to hide all that.

The changing phases of a site can be interesting, but we need a bit more than one person's top couple of posts to reach any conclusions.

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rocketturtle4 · 8 months

Text

Don't mind me I'm just collecting evidence for Ray's complete lack of self-esteem self-anything

(I'm shadowbanned which means that fact that I'm tagging everyone is USELESS (although I may have someone to help me out) but maybe it won't be useless later. Also I also cannot reply to comments, and you will not see in your notes if I reblog your post...fun times) @waitmyturtles should thee wish)

Finally pushed over by this post (@burnsuncomet @dewtu @plantsarepeopletoo) because @thegalwhorants that's right, it is VERY SAD

Because is this scene funny and ironic? Yes!

Do I think people (me, I'm people) are going to swing around in 1-11 weeks time pull out screenshot one and comment not on the irony of this shirt but it's poignancy? ALSO YES. (Screenshots stolen out of this post @chickenstrangers)

So I'm starting my evidence collection now...

Poor Boy Gifs (a selection) (in no particular order)