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#here i am

I’m thinking about writing again, like, really. Tbh I’m in a really tough, messy and clearly uncertain moment in my life right now, but the will to write is there, really. Sooner or later I’ll ask my little (really little but I love you all) community what you want me to write and to give me inspiration. Don’t worry, I won’t let this show die just because it ended, I will make it live again with my little and messy writings.

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luna doesn’t think she’ll hold out much longer. a party like this is certainly way more her speed, and she appreciates the opportunity to reprise her days of dressing up as a sailor scout. she’s never been sailor moon before, but she’s also never been blonde, so it’s a nice change of pace. she’s been practically glued to frank’s side but when she steps away to grab herself a snack, she bumps into bash, and she smiles in greeting. “hey. i like your costume.” @whathebash

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If your very presence isn’t irritating at least one person, are you even doing it right? And what I mean by that is, there are people who will be pissed that you’re even here, saying what you’re saying, doing what you’re doing. Because you don’t look the right way or sound the right way or you’re too loud or too quiet or too everything and not something enough. Because at the end of the day they don’t think you earned your place to share the same space as them, and that pisses them off.

And what I want you to know is, if you just existing in the same space pisses someone off, you are absolutely doing it right. Because it should. If you’re the only one like you (whatever that means to you personally) think about how many other potential you’s there are out there who never got to be in this space with the opportunity you have now, for a myriad of reasons. It’s not your responsibility to carry or fulfill but it is what it is - it’s there nonetheless.

And I want you to know you absolutely belong there, and fuck anyone who says otherwise.

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It’s easier to pretend everything in ncity is fine when I’m on tumblr instead of twitter, and since my reading material is here thanks to my lovely fav writers, I’ll be camped out here til it cools down..I’ll still vote hard as hell, while I Hope Taeyong or Baekhyun, or even just SM addresses the issue (I’ll be happy w/ even that bc just letting us know they hear us) cus ik I’ll just take them back in the end so I won’t pretend I’m leaving, I’m just sorta annoyed rn

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Here’s what I want. I want a pond with water lilies and coy. I want walls full of photos and paintings of various mountain ranges and oceans across the world with some of the art being my own. I want shelves upon shelves of scarves, perhaps some from other countries and I would just love a collection of big earrings, you know, the ones I’ll never really get to wear but have to admire. I want a picnic table out back with lanterns hung throughout the trees. And I wish to have land big enough for a willow. Can I live somewhere with those beautiful fireflies? I’d like a pollinator garden to have visitors all summer and fall long. I’ll home the bees and the birds and the bugs without hesitation. And when it gets cold out, I’ll have blankets in every corner of the home. A big dining table for the friends I haven’t found yet, but hope to deserve one day. A home with a consistent flow of fresh bread, fresh coffee, fresh flowers from the garden or farmers market and happy news articles cut out and pinned to the fridge. Must have speakers loud enough to play the Lumineers throughout every room. There will be cheap notebooks in every room, ready for ideas and lists or sporadic outpours of love or sorrow. And I will definitely need the biggest windows I can get my hands on. I hope to be where meadows and forests, perhaps the ocean, are an easy distance away. I hope I can take care of myself enough to take care of my plants. And I hope that I am blanketed in comfort when I walk in the door, where I can let my shoulders fall, and my jaw unclench and find ease in unfolding the day. I want a home of my own. 

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Ver “2020 Erasure - Love To Hate You (‘Live At Home’ Extended Version by VCFP)” en YouTube

Es una de las mejores canciones, muy synt-pop, casi es un salmo que retrata las contradicciones de la vida. La frase que más me gusta “la carta carta que me escribiste no traía remitente así que te la regreso con una nota: amo odiarte… El asesino misterioso (de está relación) no soy Yo… ” Acompañada del teclado es guau, lo que me conecta a vivir el día a día…

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Ci sono buone probabilità che questo blog diventi il covo di stupidi pensieri occasionali che ovviamente necessitano del loro spazio

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