#here she is again!!!! its been a while

[pictureday2005]

DONT REPOST THIS thanks

#home #mine #turning reblogs off and taking it out of tags for a while #i might just delete it #it feels fucking dehumanizing none of you were here nobody knows what happened in these walls #even the people who live there now who probably trashed the place #neither did the people who took that grand piano out in pieces #none of you will ever understand how much i lost when they took me from here #that little girl is dead shes fucking dead and im living in some cruel imitation of her #and every time ive tried to kill myself its been so i could go home again #but i cant ill nevet go home shell never go home home isnt real anymore #r

[fourteenthz]

VIERAPRIL 15 - SPARK

In the end all I hope for is to be a bit of warmth for you When there's not a lot of warmth left.

#wall of post sorry. crying too much to care rn. #viera ffxiv #vierapril #vierapril 2024 #ffxiv oc #ffxiv viera #wol posting #6.0 spoilers #hydaelyn #pls click the link listen to the most venat + wol song ever. #i've been meaning to use it somewhere and i'll probably use it again but i just couldn't skip it this time #as much as it sounds like venat i hear the wol's voice in it tbh... since hydaelyn has been 'dying' for a little while #so when the one thing you believe the most gives you everything you must try search everywhere to give something back #and then i like to imagine thesa settle for this. maybe she can't do much besides do hydaelyn's will but she hopes this brings her somethin #warmth. if you will. this song is one of the most thesa songs ever bc its just someone keeping herself busy and trying to be useful #the setting fire to your your own hair part IS SOOO HER. #and when the chorus comes with 'promise me you will start were I end' is SO hydaelyn's voice coded. literally venat core. #and thesa answering with 'yeah. i will. and in the end i hope I was something more to you too. some comfort' YOU GET ME????? #they love each other so very much. that's her mother guys. #i like to translate how /i/ never doubted hydaelyn to thesa lol girl is hopeful and loyal to her core. anyway. gushing my heart out here #had more screenshots but well guess 9 is enough. and a bunch of tags for this song bc i love it a lot. ilu 4 winds albuns. #the scions seeing this and some of them seeing thesa cry for the first time....... yeah. get her (emotional) (real) (i love her) #also the lowest you will ever see her ears <3

[spacedlexi]

speaking of fucked up overly hated female twdg characters i find it Super Interesting how people will say carver was the best villain in the whole series, but when lilly is literally just a successful carver (iron fist leader of a community turning children into soldiers) suddenly shes a bad/lame villain for some reason 🤔

#twdg #hmm im sure this has nothing to do with the fact shes a woman (a woman that a lot of people hated since S1) #AND they gave her a giant boat? thats funny #LIKE if they did originally plan to have kenny be carver in S2 she is LITERALLY JUST THAT IDEA but the woman version of it #also i find it interesting that her speech about larry and the lights is reminiscent of that first convo between shane and rick in the show #i happened to like S1 lilly for the most part and felt her evolution in S4 made perfect sense #she hated being questioned. wanted total authority. ex military and so used to dealing with military types. family/loyalty important to her #which is why her and clem meeting again and clashing heads is so narratively interesting #is this person your family? can you bring them to your side? are they even the same person? when do you let go? #so many themes in S4 mmm yummy #a theme vi/minnie share too #and mitch brings up the sentiment while burning ms martin #but yeah im in the 'lilly was actually the best villain in the whole series' camp i wonder whos in here with me. is it quiet in here #it wouldve been nice to see more of the delta... unfortunately if things needed to be cut its understandable why it was #you dont NEED to know more about the delta than whats been told #but i would like to 😔 #like could we have been given more fleshing out of her character? sure. do we actually NEED it? no #it speaks

[ryonello]

anyone have funds to spare?

#forgored to post her here oops #valorant #viper #sabine callas #shes asking for help and a little bit mad about it <3 #WANTED A DOODLE FOR MY TIP JAR FOR CONS THIS YEAR please help me buy a vandal im broke #<--- buys full util every round #ALSO UNLOCKED GEKKO YDAY AND HAVING A LOT OF FUN WITH HIM I LOVE HIM SM #but yes runs back to con prep .... tgx this weekend !!! im excited its been a while !!! i need to have income again #AND I HAVE LOTS OF NEW MERCH TO SHARE #<3333 #mwah

[sqlmn]

Lightning, water, and fire! Like forever before the plot starts. By the time the plot starts, the lightning and fire deities have been subjected to punishment by the two gods that picked them.

Oh (the fire deity) is first to be punished. They basically decide that since they're going to live for a long time, gotta set some long time goals! And they opt to be the wrath of the gods since most of the other deities are too 'soft' in their opinion. So Oh just. Smites humans. This isn't really a /good/ thing and in their defense mentally, they do it to help Ymber since he's the softest of them all. So their punishment by the gods is to be split in two, effectively halving the power of one into two. (Now they are in a male and a female body and use both male and female pronouns apart since they together make they but apart it feels weird to be they. But prior to the split they use they/them. Also the split bodies go by the names Ohiwe and Ohime.)

Fulj is the second to be punished. She falls in love with a mortal woman and that is a crime according to the gods. Mortals and immortals are not to be together and it will only bring suffering to both sides. So her punishment is her memories of the woman are stripped and her body basically broken to the point she can't remain physical all the time.

Ymber, unfortunately, is the one who blames himself for the discoveries and punishments. If he had only tried to restrain Oh more then maybe they would have chilled out and stopped before being punished. If he had only tried to persuade Fulj to not continue seeing the mortal woman so often perhaps she wouldn't have been punished. So he's just increasing the guilt on his shoulders every day that he remains unpunished since the elder gods have both laid down to rest. They can't enforce their laws anymore and none of the deities are keen on harming one another at this point. They just want to continue existing in peace.

#the daily life of a deity sucks #and then ymber falls in love with a human and is like welp this sucks and i understand fulj now #i also would have accepted the punishment for this #and fulj doesnt even remember the woman she was punished for and doesnt remember how she was before #so she is like hey ymber please just go and kiss the weird human i dont even like him but youre being mean by not kissing him #and ymber is just having the worst time of his life being encouraged by someone who used to be so happy #who he also encouraged to be happy once upon a time #also ohiwe and ohime pop up in the water city to bully ymber sometimes but its still in the way of #dude we like you please grow a spine its been a thousand years please grow a backbone and tell us to piss off #and he never tells them to piss off #also fulj has a long braid here but you cant really see it #and she loves to braid ymbers hair and he gets to braid hers when shes giggling and chatting about love #and a short while after the punishment fulj chops the braid off and ymber is like welp my friend is officially gone #and then he cuts his own hair and leaves to go develop his city alone in seclusion #and he sometimes just cuts it really short because hes still sad and soggy and thinks of fulj braiding his hair #and then she shows up one day when hes debating how long its getting and she smiles #and tells him he looks good with longer hair #so he kinda keeps it a messy short then it gets to be medium and he decides he can survive with medium but he couldnt do long again #but once again fulj is the reason for his life choices (and guilt) #also before anyone asks yes all the deities have a collar #its very important actually that they are collared its lore information thanks #and for what it matters - after oh is split both forms are just as tall #theres just two of them at half power but they are both tall

[factorialsotherfandoms]

TW: Major character injury, a lot of blood

(Also maybe not the best picked characters for immediately post purgatory but I'm soft on morning crew - five man definition - so shoot me)

High in the sky, Philza finally dares open his wings. Everyone is already thrown up, why not give himself a moment to glide down? To feel the wind again, to taste the sky again, for one more moment to be truly free.

After all these months his feathers have grown back and his bones have healed, and finally he can twist and soar in the air once more. He does not just glide - he spins and he laughs and for a long moment he is truly free once again.

The others watch in awe, or do not notice too worried with saving themselves.

People are watching; if he wishes to keep his wings, he cannot use them, this he has long known.

Slowly, reluctantly he descends, rejoining his people on the ground and accepting their joy to lift him in a different way and once more.

---

Less than fourty eight hours later, Philza awakens on the floor of a train to the smell of blood and already screaming in pain. His head is in a sobbing Tubbo's lap, while many hands press against his back - his wings - and chaos reigns around them.

"Phil?" Tubbo's shaky question.

Philza cannot find it in himself to speak; he gives a sob and a chip and hopes it's enough - he knows what this is, he knows what this is, it might be Tubbo with him now, where it was Wilbur before, but it's all the same again.

"Stay with us, big boy," it's Fit who speaks next, from somewhere behind Philza.

He hates the idea; he fights the darkness anyway, because fuck it at this point.

A door opens, there's a shift from some of the hands on his back and a hiss that sounds a little like Cellbit, echoed like someone else is joining in - the door closes and the footsteps which tried to enter leave.

"We're nearly at the station," it's a softer and less familiar voice that speaks next - not one of the other people at his back, but over by the window. Pac, perhaps, though Philza's brain is shaky. "If my bag is there, there are potions."

"If they are not, they are shits," Etoiles is more obvious, sharper. "Make him bleeding on the train? They are the worst. Do they also want to be the worst shit?"

The words manage to draw a bubble of laughter from Philza, who shakily reaches out an arm to his friend. Etoiles takes it, intertwines their fingers, and looks ready to rant all over again.

"It's fine, mate," Philza gasps slightly at the pain of speaking, his head falling heavier onto Tubbo's lap. "Fuckers did it last time, too; nobody even had potions then."

He can almost feel Fit's eyes narrow on him, but ignores it anyway; instead he listens with half a brain to the sound of Etoiles voice as he rants, even angrier than his previous one would have been.

#qsmp fanfic #qsmp philza #look yes I know I know teams but I write who I write #phil's actually been bleeding a while and there's shifts for looking after him #the rest are getting some sleep in the other carriage #like forever and jaiden and foolish and carre #baghera is here she was joining in the hissing with cellbit #its just a tiny quick scene tho I thought of while making lunch so don't think tooo hard about who is where #its just morning hours people come to mind first when scenario is philza injured #so they're the ones I wrote as I've spent longer on these tag rambles than I did the fic #fun bonding exercises post war - have one of the respected islanders nearly die of shock and blood loss #from having his just healed wings torn to shreds once again

[pulsedemons]

drawing my favs as those cheesy office type motivational posters. it helps ^_^

#my art #doodle #mspaint #yes if i had a printer i would tack him to my wall #feppi #pizza tower #i like the look ive been getting by not using reference photos #that said i think while im still in this neutral sort of state itd be a good time to study the pt sprites again #would love to get a real good handle on the style. might look at some 90s/00s 'toons styles too #been wanting to draw moe more. been wanting to draw her in a style like ren & stimpy or eene or something #i think this ''not outright depressed but still not particularly hyped about art'' block (?) im in feels like a good state of mind #to actually sit down and study with. if that makes sense. dont mind me talking to myself down here im having late nite coffees #i stole the rest of moms oatmilk and its too late to go get normal milk so i have to use this kinda yucky chocolate creamer she got me #its not my first second third fourth or even fifth choice but ill still drink it . its not disgusting its just not. good.

[wizardnuke]

i love dnd..i love playing heavy utility/support/backfield and i love having three to six attacks in a turn and an insane ac. at heart im a support player ill get my hands on whatever we're missing in a group

#looks at a druid a fighter and a bard fighter. okay cleric time. #i LOVE playing cleric turns out. #though abjuration wizard is still super super fun its a different flavor of support #it's not buffs it's 'i am going to transfer literally all that damage to myself and war caster style succeed my witchbolt concentration' #doing insane amounts of damage while taking damage (+ with temp hp and then just a lot of hp. im taking the tough feat as soon as possible) #aabria iyengar was right these abjuration wizards are craaaazy. but war domain clerics also fuck hard #my abj wiz is very much an experiment in 'what if someone who is not at all suited to this life tries to adapt as well as she can' #the point is that she isn't a cleric. do u understand. she's not a cleric and that's the point it's the. hbbbgbfhb. she's out here #functioning as a combat medic on some aasimar features + healing kits/potions + arcane ward. Look At Me #i also really enjoy playing nonreligious characters in these worlds where deities 100% exist not in a 'fuck the gods' way but in #a way somewhere between 'i'm all i need' and 'i called and no one answered' and 'may or may not go on an insane power hungry spiral and #try to get a touch of godhood' which is in part very due to my own agnostic and people-loving heart and 'haha what if i icarused this girl' #a resentful caution towards gods an immense respect towards religious companions and 'when your god isn't here to help. i will be' #anyway REACTION arcane ward you don't take damage im fine. next turn reaction shield ward's back up. the thing is. #she will drive her hp down. the ward isn't much like it goes past that temp hp. it's 14hp that shit goes down and carries to her hp #but it never drops. any leveled spell puts hp back into the ward. a 1st lvl shield puts it at 2hp and she can use it again #she is not suited for these conditions but my god it is fun to watch. i care her. #i explained that subclass feature to a player that's not in that campaign and said. like. yeah she can take damage. when her ward drops to #0 it carries to her. any leveled abj spell puts it back up. and she can use it and drive her hp down again. #do u understand what i am explaining to u! do you get it! she is and has always been a punching bag! #she was a very valuable asset to the army and the group she was drafted! into. because when she's there. people just don't fucking go down #aside from her. aside from her. AAAAH. she's so cool. she is very smart i am still riding the high of critting every turn w witchbolt and #reacting to ward a party member against a crit that would have dropped him by taking the hit herself. and she didn't break concentration #badass

[martyrbat]

hm hm hm i feel like this will be really interesting to read with the knowledge of korra and how that effected her instead.... because korra (from my limited knowledge so i could be talking out my ass here) knew she was the avatar at an early age and DID get that community. she had katara and her parents, she had her mentors, she was isolated from the real world during so and perfected the elements other than air (which i kinda recall her struggling with and how its the opposite element of earth so im excited to see if those kinda play out :3) and she was more eager to be the avatar and the excitement and significance it brought (which was a bit clouded by her being sheltered but also would have been expected more before the war impacted things)

i also remember matty saying kyoshi struggled with earth bending (which im super excited to get to and see/see her journey and how it will differ) but!!! i just think its really fun how theyre kinda off the bat setting up this expectation and new grounding for readers who have a past grasp of the avatar universe. even as someone who isnt super familiar with the lore, i know enough to recognize that oh! thats something new!! so just kudos to the writer(s?) for just setting this up to be something very different and in a natural way :3

#again. talking out my ass here. if im an idiot no one say anything okay? okay <3 #but i think its fun to already see some parallels or ways kyoshi and korra are different or similar #and how korra got the set-up stage that was considered ideal (i think?) for these two characters #like !!! the avatar is supposed to know theyre the avatar at a young age! #and aang learning when he was 12 instead?? i think? #or being told hey man you gotta fucking get ready/do your teen duties instead of preeteen ones cause theres a war.... #but no sorry my head is scattered i cant keep a line of thought but the point was i know a lot of people bash korra because shes too #‘abrasive’ or comfortable with being the avatar when?? for previous experiences that eagerness was something more expected (i think) #like its so difficult to make a solid grounding argument when im not lore caught up but korras excitement to be the avatar and that she #knows its significant and important is something that would been encouraged before the war because of that hope and belief #that the avatar will keep that balance or save the world when others cant. aang disappearing and the genocide and war #obviously effected how people will see the avatar in universe and how her teachers are more hesitant and restrictive #none of this makes sense im just thinkin to myself while half distracted lol but ! go cringegirl bosses go !!!! #RoK (ransom style)

[harvestmoth]

heres my one page thesis on why hinomori mafuyu real

#back on this again. apologizes but the newest event hit me across the face #they found her in a wet cardboard box all alone… #also all of l/n call her babygirl its just that mafuyu only knows this from kanade who in turn has only heard honami say it #anyways heres my thoughts on the hinomoris and why they should get to keep mafuyu #uh. #so everyone knows how mafuyu has the mask she puts on yea. but i dont really see people mention how shiho and shizuku. also have that #in different but still similar ways #with shizuku putting on a perfect act where shes always smiling for her idol job and as to not worry her friends and shiho #while shiho puts on her act of not caring and pushing everyone way so they dont have to deal with her or the people who target her #so as we can see here. they both put on a mask and are self sacrificial about it for the sake of others #mafuyu does that too but instead of doing it for her friends and those that actually care about her. she does it for her mom who does not #idk. anyways something something these three have a similar way of dealing with things by bottling it up until they no longer feel it #do you get me #do you understand what im on about #if not idk i might be making it all up i havent had a chance to watch all of the events and ive been kind of skipping around on them #like watching the newer ones first which is probably not the best idea #okay im done now i just want others to see the vision and do my work for me #project sekai #mafuyu asahina #shiho hinomori #shizuku hinomori #oh last thing. shiho and shizuku absolutely beat up asahina its what they all deserve #asahina mother i mean. not mafuyu. they beat each other up in the losing at card games way while they beat up asahina mom with a steel chair

[thatdemiboymess]

Drew some bees for a friend of my aunt - he wants a friendly and cartoony bee with a honeycomb and a drop of honey for a candy he's selling, apparently! :33

#irl #my art #bumblebee #bees #its my first time trying to draw a bee tbh #they're very cute and i especially like their funky little beaks where their proboscis comes out #i kinda doubt he's gonna decide to use my art tho tbh but i think they're cute so I'm posting them here anyways #i haven't drawn anything in a while either so this was kinda nice to do even if it was also a bit frustrating #then again the reason it was frustrating was cause my aunt is acting as our in-between and her friend seems to have a very specific idea of #what exactly it is that he wants and not talking to him directly to figure that out is kinda not working #I also think he got a bit confused on the difference between horizontal and vertical because I drew the horizontal one first #and part of his feedback was that he wanted it horizontal and in flying motion so??? #anyways it's not like he's paying me so if the second one isn't what he's looking for I'm calling it quits #my aunt did actually offer to pay me for it but I don't wanna take any money from her since she's not the client - it feels wrong #she's just trying to do a friend a favor by introducing him to an artist ya know??? #...also low-key don't feel like this (my art) is worth actual real world money so ehhhh... #ANYWAYS!!! Look!!! Cute bees!!! #EDIT I have been offered like $30 but it is still on the table kinda since I'm not willing to make anymore changes asdfghjkll #$30....for bee??? Little bee drawing??? May have to delete/take this down if indeed $30 for little bee drawing...

[rmbunnie]

Watched through adventure time start to finish for the first time and of course it was great and of course I'm going to be drawing fanart at some point in the not-distant future (can't say near tho lmao school is keeping me busy) but my god the finale. I already knew the plot points tbh because i Am Online and Like Cartoons and if both of those things are things you are, you see the bubbline kiss and Finn saying "I always thought i'd go out a hero" and that's pretty much unavoidable, but what really got me was Time Adventure.

I saw someone on Twitter or something, maybe on here, say that the antagonist of Adventure Time is personal stagnation, and it was a comeback to someone else, but it really is true that from season 7 on the show starts leaning Realllllly hard into Growth as the topic the show's about (and season 7 is like. a pretty noticeable line for this switch tbh, NOT that the first 6 seasons are unimportant to the final end point, but the change is visible.) This is especially clear seeing as Gumbald and Fern, who refuse to accept growth and change to a unique extent, and are incapable of personal growth due to being an outgrown past version of the mc held that way indefinitely by a grass curse, respectively, are the main antagonistic forces of the final season. (Betty also counts as both an antagonistic force in the finale and unable to accept growth to me seeing as she was the reason Golb was summoned and, I mean, Temple of Mars is ABOUT her being unable to grow on an internal-beliefs level despite accepting the magic of the future as an external tool, so that checks both boxes, but i'm not sure of the overall Betty opinion and also she isn't the main point.) What I'm getting at is, with the major emphasis on changing as an individual, Time Adventure is especially poignant to me, because outside of being a (still very good) meta song about the show ending, in the context of the show it reads as a song about how sad growing as a person is when you're the person who's changing, and how it would be great if you could just. always be a 12 year old kid in the first season who doesn't understand that there are problems that can't be solved and fights you can't win, who can always go back to his treehouse at the end of the day. And how with the passage of time, it's inevitable to change, but at least that kid is and will forever be in season 1, even as the only physical version of himself from the past blows away in the wind as he asks to go back to a place that's now rubble. This isn't exactly breaking news but still, in a show that leans so hard into the way maturing means changing as a person the final message being "it's hard to be a new person and lots of things ARE lost forever but all past versions of you that you can no longer be exist in the past and aren't going anywhere" instead of like, "woohoo! Maturing is neat! Look at how much everything has improved!" is really good. Idk it just kinda means more really knowing that they're sad about the change.

#adventure time #come along with me #adventure time meta #maybe? #i don't think i need to tag spoilers for this one #to be clear this was over the course of like a year it wasn't a weekend activity #but i watched seasons 5-10 since august because I got particularly into it again #which #is not an insane pace or anything #but i kinda just went “yeah its been a while time to go for it” #also gotta say right now fern is the davesprite of homestuck #i could elaborate a lot about fern but i don't think it would fit here #i could elaborate a lot about betty but i don't think it would fit here and also idk if it's a controversial take or not #she's pretty well written i am not saying she's a bad character #all i'm going to say on this one is that being “normal” at the beginning and being tragic do NOT equate to being particularly heroic #like her though #I am definitely going to be saying more on her post fionna and cake

[innsjovide]

huge pet peeve of mine is if you kill off a beloved character in fanworks (or like. actual works if its the canon story) or even suggest it, no matter what narrative significance this might have on the story being told, you'll suddenly be flooded by a billion people being like 'NO U CANT KILL THEM THEYRE IMMORTAL THEYLL LIVE FOREVER THIS IS WRONG'

#yes this is about korra yes im still pissy about it #the avatar fandom has such negative media literacy for a fandom of such a well written show #* lok isnt super well written but the original show is #if yall didnt know i used to write an 'earth avatar after korra' fic with some of my ocs #and while it was generally well received (for reasons ill never know the writing was trash) the overwhelming sentiment I got in feedback wa #HOW COULD YOU KILL KORRA SHES IMMORTAL I LOVE HER #like yeah i am number one korra stan too I love her but like. do you not understand the story I'm trying to tell here. #this discourse is coming back since atlas popular again and there was a teaser about canon avatar after korra (which is apparently a man ew #also its ironic bc korra fans all the time say 'lok isnt about aang it's korra's story now'. but yall are hypocrites #anyways LMAO #been thinking about my girl ever hadiyah saeed again #earth avatar extraordinair #it was like legend of genji but gay and i actually wrote 99 percent of it #so take that #innsjotxt #rant over

[scorchrend]

hey i know your blorbo is euden but can I get a bit of zena analysis? I think she's interesting and I think with your knowledge of Euden you'd be great at getting a read on her?

this is so fucking late but absolutely.

i can’t claim to be the zena expert here but i think it’s crazy you know. iirc that she went to different worlds and all of them fell at the hands of the other (holy shit man. i also did not expect CHROM’S adventurer story out of all stories to be important to zena????) and like it’s not her fault because it’s the other but she has to carry what morsayati did in HER body.. shes just trying to help every time but people are understandably scared of her and i dunno. i think it scares her too. just a lil. she doesnt have to really, not her fault. but she keeps on to atone for what happened. she knows that her body was an instrument in the dyrenell empire and probably blames herself lots for it, but also is baffled she was let free. like why shes still alive. but her euden took her place and.. well..

i dont remember that well. then her protectiveness over our euden just kinda fucking gets me. i dont know how to explain it. but also her being firm with him and that he should trust in zethia more or something (because she is also zethia and understands, and euden is kinda too focused on defending zethia that it almost becomes like an immovable objective and can’t let her make her own decisions) and trust in himself too because hes losing his footing or whatever and being kinda stupid at times. and that while a zethia she is different from zethia in ways i cannot fucking describe. i dont know how to explain it but like after everything shes seen too. then the chapter where you have to kill her euden it’s just. scary. i cant imagine how it feels learning your brother your best friend was in on the plan of the destruction of the world the entire time or something. im sick. im not going to chalk it up to resistance i think it’s her immense hope that things can be changed and not even for her world’s benefit it’s so. i dunno. yeah. that zena keeps going on despite it all

this is so repetitive but hahaha just like how many worlds zena went to 😭😭

#text #this is so late #dragalia lost #zena #but i only really thought of stuff now #again its been a long while so im not exactly versed on the story anymore but the general vibe is here #zena. shes been through so much man

[spacedlexi]

i Need to draw more clemviminnie shit but how am i supposed to do that when minnie only exists alongside them for 2 episodes then dies

#its why i alive her for some post s4 stuff just so i have more to work with 😔 #but i dont Love doing that....she sealed her fate..she was lost in the sauce... #but theres so much there.............. #the way minnie was concerned for vi while betrayed!vi and clem were fighting in the cell she def still had feelings... #they still wouldve been dating if she was never taken like...... #ITS SO MESSY I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #like while i Do think there was some tension in their relationship somewhere bc that line in the woods didnt come from nowhere #no matter how changed she was by the delta that sentiment had to come from somewhere. maybe she could just never say it #but idk if they wouldve broken up over it and there was no reason for violets feelings to change either. she just grieved her 'death' #vi says the real minnie is gone and that she'll do what she has to to keep everyone else safe but like.... #theres no way shes not still conflicted on some level like you can see it on the boat she cant leave her. esp since she kinda blames hersel #minnie being clems dark reflection but clem is minnies reflection just as much (obvs) the tension is palpable between them #clem being the part of herself that she killed when she killed sophie...the symbolism of killing your own twin... #and how much does clem remind her of sophie too like whos clem Really mirroring here #THERES SO MUCH MEAT THAT IM CHEWING ON THIS IS A GRAND MEAL #and i cant fucking do anything about it 😭 seriously how do i work within these constraints #there isnt even a 2 week jump like there is in ep2 theres no unaccounted for time in eps 3 and 4 ITS KILLING ME #i bet in a betrayed!vi route minnie was glad to see her when they made it to the boat. and vi feeling betrayed by clem was a perfect target #totally susceptible. minnie gets in her head that its safer to give in instead of fighting back... and now theyre together again... #vi betrayed by clem falling right back into minnies arms OOF girl get away she is Fucked Up..theyre both fucked up 😭 clem u broke her #betrayed!vis reaction to hearing minnies confession about sophie..girl must have been so emotionally fucked in that cell #mmm toxic yuri mmmmm :) #god clemvi really has it all.............................................. #why would i need anything else...when clemvi is here #twdg #it speaks #still cant believe my fave girlie really got it all :)

[toastsnaffler]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄 #jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik- #she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she- #likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill- #finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included- #bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it.. #ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........ #sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!! #.diaries