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aphroditelovesu · 2 years

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Yandere Greek Gods - Profile II

"Even the gods themselves need love and yours is the best of all." - Greek Gods.

❝⚡️— lady l: hey! Here I am again, bringing you the second and probably last part of the profile of the Greek gods. Before reading, I want to make some things clear, I didn't make all the Greek gods, if it wouldn't take too long, I made the most important ones. Of the twelve Olympians and some extras, for example, Persephone and Hades are not Olympians, but they are listed. Maybe in the future I can make the minor gods, but there's no plan. If you want to read the first part click here or search one of the tags below. I didn't do it in alphabetical order or the oldest, I ended up leaving it randomly and some got bigger and others smaller.

❝⚡️tw: yandere themes in general, dub-con, implicit non-con, possessive and obsessive behavior. If you feel uncomfortable with any of these themes, I recommend not reading.

❝⚡️word counter: 3k+

MANIPULATOR

Athena is the Greek goddess of wisdom, craftsmanship and strategy in warfare. Daughter of Zeus and Metis.

"Y/N, you know it's not wise to argue with me about this. You're not going to abandon me to these petty mortals. You insult me by asking me to."

Athena is an extremely proud goddess and that is dangerous. Any affront or insult will not be treated lightly. You will be punished and after being punished, you will be drowned in the caresses of the goddess.

She is manipulative, what more could you expect from the goddess of wisdom? Athena is wise, she knows how to manipulate you very well and you won't even know you're being puppeted unless she wants you to know.

Athena will punish you until you learn, but you won't need to be punished many times, the goddess will make sure you learn the first time.

In a platonic way she will be more tolerable with you, but will still be strict. Athena expects no less from her obsessional perfection. You must be perfect for her and she will make you be.

"I'm so disappointed in you, Ynn. How dare you try to leave? I've tried to avoid physically hurting you, but apparently it's the only way you know how to obey. With pain."

Kinks: dom. Athena is definitely a dom, she wants it and will be at the top.

Nicknames: Ynn (imagine it as the initial of her name plus the letter "e", like Lee), princess/prince.

OBSESSIVE

Artemis is the Greek goddess of hunting, chastity and in some versions the moon. Daughter of Zeus and Leto, twin sister of Apollo.

"Do you want to go hunting with me today, dear? It will just be the two of us..."

Artemis is an obsessive and protective yandere. She is strong and decisive, Artemis wants you and she will have it. From a young age, Artemis always knew what he wanted. A group of hunters who, like her, took a vow of chastity. But after meeting you, maybe she'll reconsider.. or not.

Artemis is one of the yandere most likely to be platonically in love with you. The goddess worships you, simply, you were so kind, innocent and intelligent, which immediately attracted the attention of the goddess of hunting. You haven't been corrupted by the evils of the world yet, and she wants you to stay that way.

If she becomes romantically involved with you, there will hardly be sex involved, but she doesn't mean it's not impossible, because it can happen. But due to her oath, the goddess is much more likely to remain platonically in love with you.

Although she is known to be serious and strict, Artemis is kind and tolerant of you. You are one of the few mortals the goddess has affections for, she wants you to remain pure.

If you remain pure and devoted to the goddess of the hunt, Artemis will reward you handsomely.

"Oh, is my little deer hurt? Tell me who hurt you and I promise to make that person regret it."

Kinks: hunting games. You are the prey and she is your predator. It is Artemis' favorite fantasy.

Nicknames: dear, little deer.

CONTROLLER

Apollo is the god of the sun, music, plagues, prophecy, medicine, arts, oracles, truth, disease, healing, poetry, archery, initiator of young people into the world of adults, masculine beauty, perfection, harmony, balance and reason. Son of Zeus and Leto, twin brother of Artemis.

"You can't leave, Y/N. What if you get hurt? I can't risk your safety."

Let's be clear, Apollo is a controlling god and he doesn't accept to receive a "no", none of them accepts in fact, after all they are gods and you are a mere mortal, but Apollo can be worse, I mean, take a good look at Cassandra of Troy.

Apollo wants to control you in every way, when you wake up, when you sleep, what you eat, who you talk to and even your clothes. Everything you do will be scrutinized by the god.

In addition to being controlling, Apollo is quite protective. Not that you can blame him, after all, all of his lovers have tragically died and he doesn't want the same to happen to you.

As the sun god, Apollo is always aware of where you are. God has hell, wherever you are he will be there. He wants you to be by his side all the time, for you to share your thoughts with him whether you want to or not. Privacy is something you will never know after he sets eyes on you.

Apollo is a very jealous god. He gets jealous so easily it's ridiculous. Apollo is jealous when the wind hits his delicate skin, after all, the wind is a god too. He will always be hovering over you.

"What are you about to play a game? Don't worry, my Muse. I won't let anything happen to you."

Kinks: dom, probably a little daddykink (given the power he feels when you call him that).

Nicknames: sunshine, sun, my Muse.

IN LOVE

Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of love, beauty and sexuality. In some versions she is the daughter of Zeus and Dione, but the most famous is that she was born from sea foam, after the castration of Uranus.

"Love is the most powerful emotion there is."

Aphrodite is the embodiment of feminine beauty. She is the most beautiful and desired goddess. She wants to be adored by everyone, she is adored by everyone. But what she craves most is your attention, devotion and your love.

The goddess is not afraid to show how much she is in love with you. Why should she? She is the goddess of love! Aphrodite wants you to know in every way possible how much she loves you. You are the person she cares about and loves the most, so you should always have confirmation that she loves you more than anything in the world.

Expect to receive many gifts from the goddess. From dazzling silk dresses, jewelry to decorated handcuffs. She will pamper you infinitely, you are her greatest treasure, nothing could be fairer than that you receive everything from the most expensive and the best. Whatever you ask for you will get, have no doubt that any wish you have, even the simplest, will be fulfilled.

The only thing Aphrodite wants in exchange for all the luxury she will provide you with is your love and devotion. Just for her. You must be completely devoted and loyal to your goddess, otherwise she is more than willing to punish you. Her punishments would be both physical and sexual, she has no fear or any hesitation to cause you physical pain.

If you are disobedient or stubborn, know that you will be insulting her. Aphrodite is known to have a dangerous temper and when she is offended nothing can be done to calm her anger, look at the case of Myrrha and Hippolytus. Nothing and no one could do anything to calm the goddess's fury and it's not like anyone will help you, as she is extremely dangerous and is willing to use Ares or anyone else to destroy an entire country as a way of punishing you. And she won't feel an ounce of guilt about it. She would blame you, saying that those people died because you didn't accept her love.

It goes without saying that Aphrodite is an extremely jealous goddess, bordering on possessiveness. Nobody has the right to touch you. You belong to her and her alone. Anyone who tries to touch you will lose their hands or their life, depending on whether she's feeling merciful.

As long as you remain devoted and accept Aphrodite's love for you, you and everyone around her will be protected. Aphrodite loves you so much and wants to stay with you forever. But remember, Aphrodite was once known as the goddess of war and all is fair in love and war.

"Shall we take a shower together, my love? I promise to get you clean. Are we going to do more than just bathe? Maybe..."

Kinks: literally anything. Aphrodite doesn't have a specific kink, she loves to try anything with you.

Nicknames: my love, my passion and my beautiful.

POSSESSIVE

Ares is the Greek god of war. Son of Zeus and Hera.

"I'll take you with me to the next battle. Shh, don't argue with me. I'm sure you'll like it."

Ares, like his mother, is extremely possessive. It has no other adjective to put in. He sees you as his, as a possession, more like an object to be possessed than a person.

You weren't sure why and how you attracted the attention of the god of war. Maybe it's because you're a peaceful and anti-war person that, in a way, you loathed Ares. It was an affront to him and it infuriated him. You should be punished. Not only did you not pray to him, you tried to dissuade the others from stopping the killing. Ares knew you had to be punished severely and that was exactly what he planned to do.

When he went to meet you, it didn't go the way he had planned. Instead of having to punish, he was stunned. You radiated such a calm and passivity that he was fascinated by you. Ares was instantly fixated on you. He wanted you and he would have you. He would make you the perfect wife/husband, but for that Ares needs to make sure you would support him.

Ares is not a gentle god, quite the opposite. He's gross and rude. There's no kind of gentleness when he touches you. Kisses from him are usually rude and it seems like he's always trying to get you pressed like anything, from a wall to your own arms if there’s nothing else.

However, there are moments, rare but there are, where Ares is affectionate with you. This would be more likely to occur if you are pregnant or if it is your first time. In either case, he would be much more affectionate and try to be as gentle with you as possible. It might not seem like it because of Ares' brutal nature, but he can be soft when he wants to.

Ares loves you. This is a fact. But his love for you is twisted, he won't let you walk away from him. His possessiveness is suffocating and uncontrolled, he would beat anyone to death just because they dared to lay eyes on you. No one would be safe from him, not even you. Be very careful with him, Ares is more than willing to hurt you in any way possible to make you understand that you belong to him.

"I gouged out the eyes of that old bastard who asked you what time it was. What? Don't look at me like that! Did you like his attention?! YOU ARE MINE!"

Kinks: dom, rough sex and BDSM.

Nicknames: flame and sweetsoldier.

WORSHIPER

Hephaestus is the Greek god of the forge, blacksmiths, artisans, sculptors, metals, metallurgy, fire and volcanoes. Son of Zeus and Hera. Although, in some versions, he is just the son of Hera.

"I know I may seem disgusting to you, precious. But I want you to love me as much as I love you."

Hephaestus' biggest problem is his insecurity. Not that you blame him, I mean, his mother threw him off Mount Olympus because she thought he was so ugly and he was cheated on by his wife, so you can expect him to be insecure and somewhat paranoid. He knows he doesn't deserve you, he puts you on a pedestal. As if you were the goddess/god and not him. Hephaestus fears abandonment, he will do anything for you, anything so you don't abandon him or betray him. Ask and you will have.

He would definitely be the god who would spoil you the most. Others would too, but not as much as Hephaestus. He is always making new jewelry or trinkets for you. All made with the greatest dedication and affection.

However, Hephaestus can be quite scary. Don't get him wrong, he doesn't want to scare you, but when the god gets jealous (which happens very easily, given how insecure he is) he can become aggressive and threatening. But when his anger fades, all that's left is guilt. He didn't mean to scare you! He loves you! Why did he keep scaring you?

Hephaestus wouldn't force you to be with him. He'll understand if you want to stay away from him, even if it tears him apart inside. Hephaestus will be content to just watch you from a distance if that's what you want. But if you, for some reason, decide to stay with him, you won't leave his side anymore. Choose very carefully.

''Will you promise to stay with me forever, Y/N? I... I really can't let her go...''

Kinks: somnophilia (I can say that Hephaestus would really love to see you sleeping, a bit bizarre I know, but I just think...).

Nicknames: Precious, my life.

DELIRIOUS

Dionysus is the Greek god of wine, parties, life cycles, insanity, theater, religious rites and intoxication. Son of Zeus and Semele, a mortal princess. He is the only Olympian god born to a mortal. He is sometimes replaced by Hestia in the Greek pantheon.

''Today we are going to participate in a celebration! What do you mean by one more? Hmm... Don't worry, baby dolphin, it's the last party I drag you today!''

Dionysus may seem like an easy god to deal with, but don't be stupid, he is not. He's always shrouded in some kind of drunken haze, he's rarely sober, and when he is, it doesn't mean he'll make it any easier to deal with. Because he isn't. In fact, a sober Dionysus is a lot more work and a pain in the ass than a drunk one.

He is a delusional yandere. A little too obvious for the wine god, but true nonetheless. Dionysus is always wrapped up in his delusional obsession with you and drink. There are only two things he cares about most, you and his precious wine. The order doesn't matter much. He's sober enough to know it's wrong and extremely distorted how he feels about you, but he doesn't care one bit. He is a god and you are a mere mortal. Dionysus is delusional enough to think you're ecstatic that he's fallen in love with you.

He's very dangerous. Never doubt it even one for a moment. The god is always in the presence of his drunken worshipers, they are as obsessed with you as their god is with you. You will never be alone again. If Dionysus is not in your presence, his followers will be. All hovering over you. It would be an understatement to say that you will have almost no privacy.

Dionysus will drag you to all kinds of parties. It doesn't matter if you're the reclusive type of person who hates crowds and noisy places, once you're with him you'll learn to enjoy being the center of attention.

You will be pampered and rewarded by the god if you are not a stubborn person. Dionysus is not a bad option to be trapped, but because he is delusional and is almost always involved in his drink, he will hardly notice your discomfort.

''Here, Y/N-nn, take this grape. Wait! Let me put it in your mouth and then we can enjoy the privacy of our quarters...''

Kinks: exhibitionism and threesome. Dionysus won't mind sharing you with someone (especially since then that person will be dead).

Nicknames: baby dolphin, Y/N-nn (basically your name plus the second letter, like Laa).

STALKER

Hermes is the Greek god of roads and travellers, diplomats, merchants, astronomy, eloquence and initiation. He is considered the messenger of the gods, patron of thieves and the guide of souls to the underworld. Son of Zeus and Maia.

''What do you think about going on a trip? You know, just me and you, to a distant, romantic place. Where no one would ever disturb us.''

Hermes is a stalker, ok, let it be clear to you and everyone else. The god was already chasing you before you even knew, before anyone else knew. It is likely that even moiras were not aware of this. He knows everything about you. Your biggest fears, quirks, your biggest desire and even your darkest secrets. Nothing escapes Hermes' sight. You couldn't hide from him even if you tried, after all, he's the god of the roads, Any way you try to take he'll be there, waiting for you with open arms.

He got to know you in a very unusual way, actually. You were hiking with some friends and ended up getting separated from your group, causing you to get lost and, luckily or unluckily (it's up to you), you ended up meeting Hermes, who provided you with the necessary information. You thanked him and ran off to catch up with your friends, but unknowingly ended up leaving a deeply obsessed Greek god.

After that encounter, the god became thirsty for knowledge for you. He's found out everything he can about you. It was the perfect way to get close to you and he did. You wouldn't even notice Hermes' obsessive behavior as he is quite laid back, but don’t be fool, he can be scary and dangerous if he wants to be. However, luckily for you, this is very rare to happen, but if you end up irritating him too much, you will be punished severely, he will have no mercy.

Hermes is not a jealous or obsessive god. He doesn't demand to have your attention all the time for him, he's also very busy. Hermes is a pretty safe option for falling in love, but like I said, he's a stalker, he'll always have his eye on you. So be very careful what you say or do when he is not ''present''.

''You can run all you want, baby... But you know I'll always catch up with you, don't you?''

Kinks: voyeurism.

Nicknames: baby, sweet, little traveler.

INTENSE

Eros is the Greek god of love and eroticism. In some versions he is the son of Aphrodite and Ares, in others only of Aphrodite and in some he is presented as the son of Chaos, which would make him a primordial god.

''You know you can't resist love, my princess/prince. I don't know why you still try.''

Eros is the embodiment of sexual desire, of everything erotic. His emotions are intense and very powerful, which makes him one of the most dangerous yanderes among all the Greek gods. His anger is not to be treated lightly. His love should not be ignored and he should never, ever, under any circumstances, be neglected.

He loves too much, too much. What he feels for you is the purest love there is in the world, at least that's how he thinks, as it's completely twisted and unhealthy. The god is completely out of control when it comes to his love for you, he is ecstatic, overexcited. He wants you on his side all the time and so it will be.

Eros is very jealous. He is jealous of everything and everyone who approaches you. He doesn't like any of this. You are his and he will use force if necessary to make you understand this.

He is an extremely dangerous god when insulted. He will punish you, but his punishments are mostly sexual, but that doesn't mean he's not willing to leave marks on your delicate skin. If you resist his love, Eros will use his arrows on you. He doesn't want that, he doesn't want a puppet, but if that's what he needs to do to make you love him then so be it. You will love him willingly or by force. It's your choice.

''Stand still, Y/N! If you don't want to love me willingly, then I have to force you. Either way, you will love me.''

Kinks: Eros does not have a specific kink. He's willing to do anything in bed, but to be honest, he likes to be submissive. It's his dirtiest secret, he wants you to master it.

Nicknames: princess/prince, love.

CAREGIVER

Persephone is the Greek goddess of Spring dead, life, grain, nature, destruction, herbs, flowers, fruits and perfumes. She is the Queen of the Underworld. She is the daughter of Zeus and Demeter and the wife of Hades.

''No need to worry, my sweetie. I will be here for you. Ever.''

Persephone is a very kind goddess. She has a reputation for being kind to heroes and that's true. She is one of the kindest and gentle goddesses of all the Greek gods, to the point of being quite naive, although this changes a bit after she becomes the Queen of the Underworld.

The goddess laid her eyes on you after meeting you briefly at one of the Olympian festivities. Before she married Hades. You were a goddess/god, a minor goddess/god, but you had been invited and Persephone couldn't take her eyes off you. But she never tried to talk to you, her mother Demeter was extremely protective and wouldn't let anyone near her, so the goddess didn't dare approach you.

But everything changed after her kidnapping and her marriage to Hades, even after she got married and supposedly fell in love with her husband, you were still on the goddess's mind all the time and now that she was away from her mother, she could have the chance to speak with you. And she did. You were exactly as Persephone had imagined, kind and fun. Rumors about your kindness were true and she fell even more in love with you.

Persephone is a very compassionate goddess, she would never force you into anything or try to hurt you in any way. She loves you too much for that. The goddess would never dare do anything to hurt you. You would be pampered and adored by her. You two would do anything together, she refuses to leave your side. Even when she returns to her husband's side, she will convince you to go to the underworld with her.

Getting stuck with Persephone is not a bad thing. She is kind and calm, she would never try to hurt you and would give you all the affection in the world if you wanted. But you have to stay by her side. And she will go up against anyone who was opposed to her relationship, no matter who.

''What do you say we go for a walk in my garden, Y/N-wer? If you're hungry, I've got some pomegranates here with me.''

Kinks: dom and aftercare. Persephone can be kind and all, but in the bedroom she's the one who dominates.

Nicknames: Y/N-wer (mixture of Y/N with flower) and my goddess/god.

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jaylikesrainbowtigers · 1 year

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Greek Gods as Incorrect Quotes

Ares: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Athena: You’re a hazard to society Hermes: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Athena: Dammit, Ares! Ares: What?! It wasn’t me! Athena: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Apollo! Apollo: Not me either. Athena: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Hermes: *whistles*

'Can I copy the homework?' Athena: I can help you with it! Hephaestus: Yeah, sure. Hermes: Bold of you to assume I did the homework. Dionysus: lol nope. Apollo: Wait, we had homework?!?!?! Hera: *Read 5:55pm*

Artemis: Apollo... Apollo: Oh no, 'Apollo' in b-flat. Apollo: You're disappointed.

Demeter, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today! Poseidon: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

Persephone: Okay, truth or dare? Hades: Truth Persephone: How many hours have you slept this week? Hades: Hades: ...Dare Persephone: Go to bed. Hades: I don’t like this game.

Zeus: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something? Hera: Nope, absolutely not. Hephaestus: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through. Hermes: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life. Aphrodite: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you. Hades: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

#greek gods #greek mythology #percy jackson #incorrect percy quotes #athena #hermes #zeus #hera #ares #hades #persephone #hades x persephone #artemis #apollo #dionysus #Poseidon

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idontknowwhatimdoinglol · 3 months

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Modern blood of zeus x reader (assistant) pt. 1

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you walked up the steps of the large building, you nodded to the doorman as he opened the large glass door for you. today was your first official day at Olympus. co. the biggest entrepreneurship company in the world.

you didn't expect to get the job and honestly still weren't sure that you weren't hired for other reasons besides the ones on your resume. you walked up to the receptionist, she was wearing a pretty flower blazer and pink skirt. she had olive skin and evergreen hair. "hello, I'm the new assistant." you say with a smile. she returns your smile "Alright, I'll check you in. May I have your name?" she asks sweetly. "y/n l/n" you say. she types it into the computer practically at an inhuman speed. "alright someone should be down to give you a tour in a few minutes, feel free to sit on one of the lounge chairs while you wait" she says pointing towards the elegant black leather chairs towards the left side of the room.

you nod to her before walking and taking a seat. you fiddled with the small golden necklace you wore for a few minutes before someone walked up. she was tall, with long white hair and tanned skin. she wore a short blue dress that wasn't the typical office wear everyone was wearing. "you're y/n I assume? My name is Artemis, and I will be the one showing you around today." she says with a kind smile. "it's a pleasure to meet you" you nod. She gives a hidden smirk "Follow me" she says leading you toward the elevator.

before pressing the button she turns towards a blonde male at the reception desk "Apollo if you could kindly wait until you're at home to make out with your girlfriend that would be appropriate." she smirks, and the man turns with a similar one. he was surprisingly taller than Artemis and wore a slightly more formal outfit. he had long golden blonde hair and golden eyes.

he blew a kiss goodbye to the receptionist and walked over. "so this is the new assistant our father hired." he tilted your chin to look at him "I personally can't say I blame him. I'm Apollo, son of Zeus" he smirks teasingly. "lay off of them brother, they're still so sweet and innocent" Artemis teases. she leans over and hits the button to open the elevator. "let us start." she gestures for you to walk in.

you walk in followed by them, you try to hide the blush of being in such a small space with them, you had to admit that they were both very beautiful. "what are your roles in the company?" you ask, truly wondering because their names never were mentioned in the interview when talking about the departments. "oh honey, we don't work here. we just wanted to do the kind thing of giving you the proper welcome tour" Apollo says with the same teasing smirk. "You're making them blush dear brother, how cute" Artemis comments.

the gods were on your side as the elevator dinged and the doors opened to the floor they were leading you to, saving you from your embarrassed blush. they led you down the hall to what looked to be a fancy breakroom, it had a beautiful view of the city and a full kitchen. Artemis sits at a table next to a woman with pink hair and a magenta mini dress. "aw who the cutie?" she asks. "this is y/n, they're my father's newest assistant." Artemis says taking a strawberry from the pink-haired woman's lunch. "this is Aphrodite, she's the head of our beauty department" Apollo says resting his chin on your head. "Its a pleasure to meet you," you say,

she laughs a bit "You're so kind and innocent, are you sure you're here to be an assistant?" she smirks hinting at something else. The twins roll their eyes. "I doubt he would hire another one for those purposes so close to the company's anniversary party. we all know he won't risk Hera causing a scene in anger." Apollo says, "Don't blame Hera for that. it's how any sane person would react if they knew their husband cheated in front of her for months." Artemis says losing her smile a bit.

Aphrodite smiles a bit. "I know, but the possibility is still there." she says in a sing-song voice. "well we must get going, we wouldn't want to make y/n late on their first day." Artemis says hugging Aphrodite and standing up. Aphrodite waved goodbye to the three of you as the twins led you from the breakroom.

they led you back to the elevator. "we're heading to the top floor now, I'm sure our father has work for you to start." Artemis says. you nod, and the three of you stand there waiting for the doors to open. once on the top floor they opened with a ding, the three of you stepped out to be greeted by a woman with a purple braid.

she was wearing a purple pantsuit with a purple cape. She looked at you with disgust and tilted her sunglasses down to look at you better. "so this is his newest one." she said with quiet hatred before walking away, her heals clicking against the ground. "who was she?" you ask looking where she left. "that's hera, shes Zeus's wife. try to avoid her she isn't too fond of his assistants." Apollo warns. "she's really pretty." you say.

"She was a model before she met her husband. but then once married she gave it up to help him with his business." Artemis says. "ah there's my new assistant, I hope that you've been welcomed properly." Zeus says walking from one of the offices. he was probably the tallest person in the office, he wore a blue suit with a purple flower in the front pocket. his greyish-brown hair down over his shoulders. he nods to his two children to leave, and they give you a last look of good luck before walking to the elevator. "if you would kindly follow me, I'll show you to your desk" he says gesturing the way.

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#bloodofzeus #hyacinths #heron #hera #hyacinthus #ares #apollo #blood of zues #blood of zeus #blood of zeus x reader #bloodofzues #modernau #modern au #greekmythology #greek gods #artemis #hermes boz

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0lympian-c0uncil · 6 months

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Hermes: By Olympus- Fuck you, Artemis!

Artemis: *immediately whips around and takes out a switchblade*

Hermes: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Dionysus: Dude- How did you get that past security?!

Artemis: Don’t fucking act surprised, security has the object permanence of a newborn infant

Athena, *quietly and fondly*: Gods, I fucking love her.

#gay.#artemis x athena #artemis #hermes #dionysus #athena #greek gods #greek mythology #incorrect greek gods #incorrect greek god quotes #incorrect greek mythology #incorrect greek quotes

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olymposunkezosu-blog · 1 year

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İstanbul Arkeoloji Müzesi

#arkeoloji #müze #istanbul #mitoloji #greek mitology #zeus x hera #poseidón #athena #demeter #apollon #artemis #aphrodite #hermes #hestia #dionysus #hephaestus #hades #ares

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basilcruzzzz · 2 months

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Dysfunctional Fam™

sunboi: yo guys why poseidon looks mad

messenger pigeon: wdym bro

sunboi: he looks ready to turn someone into a dolphin

drunk_on_LOOOOVE: ey! That’s ripping me off!

sunboi: fine he looks ready to turn someone into a horse happy

drunk_on_LOOOOVE: very

seaking: ATHENA.

Athena Parthenos: Poseidon.

sunboi: soooo

What’s wrong people???

free therapist here yk

seaking: WHY IS HE BACK ATHENA?!

Athena Parthenos: it has been years poseidon

Let. it. Go.

sunboi: so were ignoring the free therapist offer

interested in a calm the heck down lollipop?

seaking: I AM NOT LETTING IT GO AFTER ODYSSEUS STABBED MY SON IN THE EYE

Athena Parthenos: so what?

Your son was ugly anyways.

seaking: GASP

YOU DID NOT SAY THAT

NONONONO

.DFKAKFHSDFAKSDFHKASHFDASHDFKSH

messenger pigeon: bro got so mad he couldn’t even speak properly

drunk_on_LOOOOVE: lmao screenshotted

Athena Parthenos: Stop being childish, Hermes, Dio.

messenger pigeon: hey, listen, im just tryin to break the tension for our readers

Athena Parthenos: what

drunk_on_LOOOOVE: what

sunboi: what

seaking: what

messenger pigeon: what

sunboi: moving on-

You two @seaking and @Athena Parthenos take this to the Dms

Me and Hermes here need to talk privately too.

messenger pigeon: what..?

sunboi: you heard me, messenger boy

dms, now.

messenger pigeon: … sure.

sunboi > messenger pigeon

sunboi: why are you hiding from me, hermes?

messenger pigeon: what do you mean?

sunboi: youre avoiding me

You wont even look at me

Hermes

What are you hiding

messenger pigeon: i cant tell you, apollo

sunboi: what do you mean?!

Is someone threatening you?

If they are i swear on the styx im going to toss them in the worst pits of tartarus

messenger pigeon: NO NOTHING LIKE THAT!

I just…

I cant say

sunboi: hermes please

I need to know

I dont want to be like this anymore

messenger pigeon: apollo…

Its supposed to be a secret

sunboi: so?

That’s not as important as us

messenger pigeon: its about artemis

I just thought that, you know,

It wouldnt be fair to tell you to keep it from her

sunboi: i can hide something from her

I swear!

ive gotten better

Tell me

messenger pigeon: alright. Ill tell you

Its about orion

He’s returned.

sunboi: no.

No, no, no, no, no

It cant be

messenger pigeon has sent a video

messenger pigeon: this is the video hephaestus saw on cams

This is why he took so long to respond

im sorry apollo

sunboi: artemis is goig to finds outtr

yuo knwo that riughts???

messenger pigeon: eventually, maybe

but not now.

sunboi: i dont knwo whaat illl do if orion comes back

Wha t if artemis seeshim and brings him to olympus

Thentheyll both hate me

I dont want artemis to hate me

messenger pigeon: apollo thats not going to happen

Shes your sister

she’ll stick by you

I know youre panicking

Want to call?

sunboi: mhm

messenger pigeon started a call that lasted 6 hours

messenger pigeon > machines <3

messenger pigeon: hephaestus

machines <3: you told him, didnt you?

messenger pigeon: how did you know?

machines <3: I saw the messages in Dysfuntional Fam

messenger pigeon: well, you’re right

machines <3: do you really believe that he’ll manage to keep it a secret?

messenger pigeon: well it seems he hasnt kept a secret from artemis in a long time

But we dont know, so maybe he has

machines <3: i suppose thats fair

But its just a guess

not fact

messenger pigeon: are you angry?

machines <3: no, no

I should’ve expected it, really

after those issues with the cows were ironed out, you and apollo were inseparable

messenger pigeon: thanks for understanding, hephaestus

machines <3: no problem, brother

sorry for not posting but hereeee

#ares #zeus #hermes #hephaestus #posideon #athena #hermapollo #apollo #hermes x apollo #kinda #sorry for not posting #artemis #orion #chat fic #greek mythology #greece #fanfiction

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olympushit · 1 year

Text

Keeping up with the Olympians

#kuwto

Episode 2:

Preview:

Hera's statement for a divorce shakes things completely on the unholy mountain. Hermes has a promise to keep, while Aphrodite proves to be a helpless drama queen. Dionysos is okay and still partying.

----------

Scene 1: (Hermes and Apollo)

Hermes' confessional:

I had in mind to take Apollo to a strip club. I interrupted his orgy with the nine Muses so I have to make it up to him. I know, I love him too much!

Apollo: What is the surprise you have been talking about?

Hermes: Get dressed tonight! I have something very special for you!

Apollo: What is it! I'm dying to know! Please!

Apollo's confessional:

I love surprises but on the other hand I hate them. I don't like waiting! Exhilaration kills me!

Hermes: Dress slutty, that's all I'm saying!

Apollo: Oh.....

--------------

Scene 2: (Hera and Zeus)

Zeus confessional:

I'm still shaken by her behavior. I can't believe her! All that is for me to acquire better sex knowledge to please her even more in bed! Why can't she see that? Ungrateful wife!

Zeus: Are you serious about the divorce thing?

Hera: Absolutely! And don't try to change my mind!

Zeus: I'll promise I'll change!

Hera: LIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR! YOU FUCKING LIAAAAAAAAARRRRRR! (Slams the table)

Hera's confessional:

Of course I'm sick amd tired of his behavior! The goddess of marriage can't stand being cheated on! But don't worry guys, I won't divorce him. I want him to come crawling back to me, and of course who wants to lose the title of "Queen of Heavens?"

Hera: It's final!

Zeus: Think about it again! You won't find another man as gorgeous as me!

Hera: That's the spirit! Someone who is not you!

______________

Scene 3: (Aphrodite and Ares spending some time in Ares' private pool in Thrace)

Aphrodite's confessional:

Thrace is a nice place! There's sea, sun, and naked Ares!

Ares: Do you like it babe?

Aphrodite: You know I love being spoilt in every way!

Ares: My beautiful woman!

(Kiss scene)

Ares confessional:

Spending time with this woman is amazing! I just love her! And of course I like getting naughty with her! (winks at camera)

(Ares lifting Aphrodite)

Aphrodite: Ares I don't wanna get wet!

Ares: You'll get wet anyway babe! Just enjoy it! (Throws her in the pool)

Aphrodite: MY DIAMOND EARRING!

Ares: What about it?

Aphrodite: I lost it! In the pool! (starts crying)

Ares: Aphrodite, there's people that are dying!

Aphrodite: It costs 75000$!

Aphrodite's confessional: (crying)

Those were the earrings Ares gifted me on our anniversary! We were celebrating the 678 time we had sex together!

Ares: You lost that earring!

Aphrodite cries aggressively.

_____________

Scene 4: (Hestia and Demeter)

(Both shaking their salads and proceed eating them)

Demeter: So did you hear about Hera's divorce?

Hestia: I did, and I don't feel surprised anymore!

Demeter death glares at Hestia

Demeter's confessional:

Did she just say that Hera deserves it? She is our sister! Such a backstabber!

Hestia:I didn't say it serves her right, I meant him!

Demeter: That wasn't very well-put to me!

Hestia: But I explained it!

Demeter: Unacceptable!

Hestia's confessional:

I don't wanna create drama around there, but Demeter's behavior is just not it!

____________

Scene 5: (Hades and Persephone in the Underworld)

Persephone: You were a rapist, you don't deserve Elysium! To the Tartarus!

Minoas looking at Hades

Hades: Whatever you say, your Honour!

Persephone: Did you just call me your "Honour"?

Hades: Yes Majesty!

Persephone: Oh my god Hades! Not there! You turn me on!

Minoas: Excuse me bro!

Hades death glares at him

Persephone: You excuse?

Hades: And I'm not your bro!

Hades' confessional:

This woman is a complete turn-on! I wanna do bad things to her!

Persephone's confessional:

Hades is a total sex slave and he likes it! I like willing men! I like the role play and he just understands the assignment!

______________

Scene 6: (Poseidon and Amphitrite)

Poseidon: I'm thinking about Triton's wish!

Amphitrite: Let lose for once honey! It's not that bad!

Poseidon: I think I'll just do so!

Poseidon's confessional:

Triton is at this age that boys think about one thing. And he asked me to be his mentor. I made up something to tell Amphitrite, because if she finds out that Triton wants to be a pornstar then the whole humanity will drown!

Triton: Dad! What do you think about what I told you earlier?

Amphitrite: We think it's okay!

Triton: YOU TOLD MUM?

Triton: AND SHE AGREED?

Amphitrite: I think I miss something?

Poseidon: Yes Triton! I'll buy you a kitty cat!

Triton's confessional:

Thanks goodness he found an excuse! My career is gonna take off! Mum will understand my abilities and will finally accept it!

____________

Scene 7: ( Apollo and Hermes at the strip club)

Apollo: Is this your surprise?

Hermes: I felt bad for interrupting your fun the other day!

Apollo: Let's get wasted!

Dionysos: Ohhhhhhhh! My bros are here!

Apollo: Wow! It's amazing!

Apollo's confessional:

What is better than 9 Muses? A whole fucking strip club!

Apollo: Shake that ass babe!

Hermes: Booty jiggling!

Dionysus: Best night ever!

Hermes' confessional:

I'm glad he liked it! But I have lost him for 2 hours straight! What do I do now?

____________

Scene 8: (Artemis and Athena)

Artemis: You wanna join today's hunt?

Athena: I'd love to but I am needed in Athens.

Artemis' confessional:

I love my sister but her ignoring me is outta my range of liking!

Artemis: So you don't wanna spend time with me?

Athena: I didn't say that!

Artemis: Can't you cancel it?

Athena: No! They're my devotees!

Artemis: Family is always first!

Athena: I didn't say otherwise!

Artemis: Ares might wanna add something to this!

Athena's confessional:

She plays a game she will surely lose! What a bitch!

Athena: You use my own spells against me Potter?

Artemis: Maybe Ares is right! You are so above anyone that it has blinded you!

Athena: I TOLD YOU I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO VERY POLITELY!

Artemis: You know what? JUST LEAVE! You are the least interesting person in this family afterall!

Athena's confessional:

That hurt and I don't have a big idea about myself! I just have a little appreciation for everyone who's dumb!

Artemis' confessional:

Such a bitch! She can't get away with everything!

________________

AND THAT'S EPISODE 2!

What do you think so far? Leave a comment below!

IT MUST REALLY BE A REALITY SHOW!

Till episode 3!✌️

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