#hes also an old dilf hes just stuck in twink body

[malewifeboimler]

IS ELIM GARAK A TUMBLR SEXYMAN?

In this essay I intend to answer whether Garak from Star Trek: Deep Space 9 fits the “Tumblr Sexyman” mold, and more specifically the “Komaeda” archetype. @sicklywhitedudes has created a TVTropes style checklist to categorize Tumblr fandom’s responses to various characters, which I will apply to Garak. Many thanks to @helltabby for creating the definitive Komaeda checklist, which will also aid me in this goal. 

Main Four Komaeda Checks

✔️Play a large role in the story

Yes, I know he’s supporting cast, but a lot of the episodes he’s in end up being very relevant to the overall plot (The Search, Improbable Cause/The Die Is Cast, In Purgatory’s Shadow/By Inferno’s Light, A Time to Stand, In The Pale Moonlight, When It Rains--What You Leave Behind). His chaotic energy cannot be contained.

⭕Play an antagonistic role, but are not originally presented as such

This can go either way. He’s introduced as a spy for the Cardassian Union, who were the main bad guys at the time, but as the stakes change so do his loyalties. He’s presented as helping Julian out in Past Prologue, but for his own mysterious reasons.

✔️Are morally grey; have a justification for their actions and/or reason for redemtpion

He’s a sad gay who just wants to go home, that’s all. He’s like if Zuko were middle aged, and we never knew his backstory.

❌Split fandom which woobifies or demonizes them

I have seen some criticism leveled at him (imperialism apologist, he murders people, kinda racist), but the split isn’t really there.

Does this look like a fandom that either loves or hates the guy?

Additional Qualifiers

✔️Is male

❌White/Silver/Grey/Pale Blond Hair

Kelas Parmak isn’t a Tumblr Sexyman for the same reason that Roan Lands isn’t a Tumblr Sexyman.

✔️Edgy

He murders people for fun and profit (Body Parts, Empok Nor, In The Pale Moonlight). And we do love that for him, but it’s not the best way to look dignified.

✔️Young or not traditionally masculine

Andy Robinson said “I am going to be the campiest lizard possible” and they tried to stop him but he had already stolen the fandom’s hearts.

✔️Have gay subtext, coding, or baiting

:/.

In an attempt to wash away the gay subtext, they had him date a 19 year old girl. Like this post if you want to steal Rick Berman’s kneecaps.

✔️Protagonist has a ‘soft spot’ for them despite objectionable actions

Remember when Garak went to jail for six months for committing attempted genocide and Julian was like “cool now you have time to catch up for book club!” I think Kasidy Yates went to jail longer for like. Smuggling food and medical supplies for the Maquis.

❌Actually hiding the true antagonist

Garak hates Dukat and wants everybody to know it.

The Sexypedia Archetypes 

suitguy/well dressed

He’s a tailor. His clothes are ugly but it’s the future so who cares. Also,

white

He’s an alien, but he’s played by a white actor and like. He is canonically from and in support of a colonialist power and he will not let you forget it.

when people outgrow the twinks and move on to older men

How old is he? Not stated, but likely in his 50s (or the Cardassian equivalent). Not a dilf, but like. Not not a dilf. (Sisko said there was room for only one dilf on the station)

edgy duality

mirror!garak is literally collared and chained up to worf. he doesn’t interact with regular garak because the chaotic energy would be too much.

knifemurder

he murders

i am going to cause problems on purpose

civil defense: he wants to not die, but he’d be okay with dying if he got to piss of dukat on the way down

questionable gay rep/gay-coded villain

i dont fucking trust rick berman. ira steven behr can stay but hes on thin fucking ice

twisted freaking cycle path

empok nor, afterimage where he FINALLY gets some therapy 7 seasons in

monsterfucker-ified

in canon, garak is just a normal human man with shit glued to his face and painted grey. yall draw him as an archaeopteryx? alligator?? godzilla???

There are still people who are surprised that people are horny for Garak. 

These are people who have just started the show, or like. Watched DS9 in the 90s bc Terry Farrell is 6′0 and then got bored but saw it was on Netflix and they’ve been stuck at home since March. These are Facebook group fans. They haven’t been exposed to the weird shit that this fandom can produce.

#the feds hack into my computer and see all this written out and are like 'this should have been a warning sign' #this is slightly based on a convo w my friend marty but not in any meaningful way #my dad is the kind of person who watched ds9 in the 90s and got bored so i made him watch the finale #he just pointed at the screen like 'who is that? should i care?' and usually the answer was no #tumblr sexymen #op #garak #long post