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the-fiction-witch · 2 years

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Just a Quick Stop P6-8

REAL LIFE COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: CUTE

I stopped my little trolley looking at everything I had making sure I hadn't missed anything on my way around and after a minute or two I knew I did indeed have everything I needed. so I pulled my trolley along to try and find and open a till but I just kept walking. I saw only one till was open so of course, there was a queue almost halfway down the freezer alise. I sighed and went down finding the end of the line and staying behind an older woman with a large trolley of goods many of which were still in the cardboard and plastic from being shipped to the store. so I leaned on my trolley a little trying to get relaxed knowing I would be here a very long time. I heard the sounds of wheels behind me, I glanced behind me spotting the guy from the shampoo alise with his now completely full wheelie basket

"Aww Hey Shampoo boy" I laughed

"Ohhh uhhhh Hi Pretty lady" he smiled back at me clearly nervous fixing his hair a little

"You find a shampoo that's good with your allergies?" I laughed

"Yeah, I did" He smiled "You uhh find everything? too?"

"I did" I smiled "Y/n" I smiled offering my hand

"Thomas" He smiled back taking my hand and giving it a gentle shake "I uhhh would kiss but I don't know how comfortable you are with... me. a man from the store."

"It's fine" I smiled

"Ohh then if I may"

"You may"

He smiled and gave my hand a gentle kiss "Can you believe this line?"

"It's insane. they always only have one person on the tills this time of night"

"I don't know why it just makes it harder for them to shut up after us"

"I know"

"Maybe there moving the damn store around again"

"Ohh I hope not. they did last time I was here I've been struggling to find stuff ever since"

"Yeah Me too! I haven't been in since they last had a move around I was looking for.... uhhh products. and I got lost in what is now the household items"

"Oh, you poor thing" I giggled "Isn't homewares now where personal used to be? like toothpaste, pregnancy tests and lube" I giggled

"Yeah, I was looking for that. Now it's up by gardening items"

"How odd" I shrug "what were you up there looking for?" I asked looking in his basket and noticing he had no toothpaste in there

"Uuuuhhhh...." He blushed

"I hope not a pregnancy test"

"No, not a pregnancy test" He blushed "I found it though" he shrugs

we moved forward by like one person so I sighed and turned back to him

"You okay? you seemed a little sad when we spoke earlier?"

"I had a rough day" I shrug

"Ohh I'm sorry," he says "well I really thought you looked nice, and I wanted to tell you. sorry for staring"

"It's okay, you made me feel a lot better"

"you're welcome. I had a bit of a rough day too, but you cheered me up a lot. even if I did embarrass myself"

"It's alright, it was sweet" I smiled,

We chatted about everything and nothing for a good while, the line slowly moving closer and closer to the tills, at last, the woman in front of me started to load her things onto the belt.

Then suddenly there was this loud combination of noise.

My phone went off.

So did thomas'.

So did the woman in front of us.

So did the man behind Thomas.

So did the cashier.

It was this loud alarm-like sound that made everyone stop frozen for a second.

Everyone for a second froze given his strange it was. I broke the tension and I grabbed my phone first from my handbag seeing that a large notification had popped up it was a red alert. The sort of thing they send out for tornadoes or hurricanes but this was different

RED ALERT:

All members of the public STAY WHERE YOU ARE. DO NOT attempt to reach your vehicle. DO NOT attempt to leave your current location. If you are driving STOP IMMEDIATELY find your closest safe building and get there as fast as possible. Further instructions will come soon

I was so confused I looked up again and everyone had their phones in their hands, Thomas turned his to me showing he got the same alert as me so I showed him mine too.

"What's going on?" I asked more to myself

Everyone froze, at first unsure this was even real, and the the reality set in as we all re read it over and over what would this mean? And we're we really stuck here? "I've got the news up!" A man called as he came to the till with everyone else he set his phone where everyone could see it playing the local news. "This is not a drill. We repeat this is not a drill. Anyone inside your home's lock up your doors and windows. Anyone in your car pull over at the next available place as soon as possible. Anyone in work places or stores stay where you are do not attempt to reach your vehicle's. This is a direct government order. Martial law has been declared and anyone on the streets will be executed immediately" the news man read "stay tuned in the coming hours for more instructions" "What- what the hell we can't all just be stuck here!" Another person yelled Suddenly both sets of front doors closed and locked and a man in the stores uniform stood there. "You all heard the news. We all sore the same report. Like it not were all gonna be here a while. I'm taking command as manager of stopnshop unless any of you think you out rank me" "Why should any of us listen to you?" The same person from a second ago spoke up in his grey hoodie "And what do you do?" He asked him ".... I'm. Unemployed. But -" "So moving on -" "No. No. Lady with all the shopping what do you do?" He asked the lady I had seen with the mountain of goods "Ohhh well I don't want to be a bother child" "What do you do?" The manager asked "Well I play the organ for our church and do mostly volunteer works" she explained "You office job right?" The manager asked me "Ohh uhh yeah. Admin" I nodded "Come on" the guy complained "what about you, you seem... Useful?" He asked Thomas ".... I code video games and do some custom motorcycle work" "Cool. But useless." He sighed "what about you girl in the UGG boots?" "Only fans" she answered "you have a uniform what do you do?" "I'm a nurse" the lady behind Thomas smiled "See a nurse. She outranks you" "I don't want to be any trouble I think it's his store I think he should be in charge" "What do you do then?" He asked the guy who brought the phone as he was the only one not asked yet ".... I'm not legally allowed to tell you" "Bet you two kinder eggs he's gonna be evil" Thomas whispered to me "Now it's settled. We'll keep the news on the TV's to keep up with any updates. But we're all going to have to stay here. There will be work to be done. But I'm sure we can all support each other thought this." He explained "Sammy!" He yelled to the boy still stocking after all that "help everyone put there stock back well have to work on rationing what we have for the assumption of being here a while" he explained "Nope. Your not my boss in an apocalypse Ricky" "Fine Lina" "Already doing it" the girl at the till sighed

#tbs #tbs au #tbs fanfiction #thomas #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster #thomassangster #thomasbrodiesangster #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster i #thomas brodie sangster smut #thomas broide sangster imagine #thomas smut #thomas sangster smut #thomas sangster x reader #thomas sangser imagine #Thomas Imagine

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king-layney · 4 years

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Earn: *coming to sit down beside her bff* wat, i think i said something stupid to pear. she asked how my day was and i said “thanks, you too” and ran away. gosh im so stupid!

sarawat: *not paying attention due to rereading the email sent to tine by boss for the 13842498th time* huh?

#incorrect 2gether #a convo that happened probably #earnpear #sarawatine #2gether the series #hes like uuuuhhhh yeah damn #she prolly thinks your cute #tine prolly thinks im an asshole that hates him #fuck #lmao i love these boys #and girls #oof #brightwin #i don't know the actresses names #oops #bright wachirawit #win metawin #layney just loves #queue for a future date

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burritodetodo · 4 years

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Burrito’s Guide To Survive Coronavirus Quarantine

We got to keep social distance (1 or 2 meters each other) or stay home during coronavirus outbreak so I thought I can share with y’all some things I’m gonna watch or do doing quarantine (this is a very long post, REBLOGS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!).

BUT FIRST SOME RULES:

Wash your hands: do it for 20 seconds or a while, but ALWAYS do it. It prevents the virus from spreading. If you don’t have sanitizer, water and soap! The cheapest and best ally against the disease.

Buy everything you need: if you can, try to buy stuff so you can stay some days at home. If the place is crowded, go back home and come later when it’s more empty. Same as medicine.

You can go for a walk: stay at home all day can be overwhelming for your mental health, but unless the goverment puts a curfew or gets strict about it you can go walk outside for a while always respecting the 1 or 2 meters from other people and without making contact (chatting) with other people. This ain’t my rule, a CDC professional says. DON’T go visit your friends or to crowded places such as bars, restaurants, shoppings, etc. If you want to buy something, ask for delivery or take away.

If you have coronavirus sympthoms (high fever, diarrhea, cough, feeling tired, breath difficulties) DON’T GO TO THE HOSPITAL YET, CALL TO YOUR PUBLIC HEALTH ORGANISATION OR WHATEVER YOU GOT AND THEY’LL TREAT YOU.

(credits to whoever made this meme)

SO YOUR LIFE IS ON QUARANTINE

Let’s say your boss or your school told you can stay at home. Okay then, you gotta prepare for some days inside *Isolation by John Lennon plays in the distance*. The first thing you think is you have to prepare a batch of series and movies to watch in order to kill some time. I’m gonna recommend you some you can find on VOD or cable, if you don’t have it don’t worry because I got you covered!

Infinity Train: a yet two seasons saga about people who got to face their problems aboard an endless train. The protagonists are joined by creatures who have different nature and help them, or not, to acknowledge their issues and leave the train. It’s on CN, it will continue on HBO Max.

The Owl House: a teen girl who daydream a lot was going to be sent to a down-to-earth camp but then she crosses a portal to the Boiling Isles, a magical world where she is taken care by a powerful Owl witch/saleswoman and her adorable demon. Lots of fantasy, some action scenes and many many puns. It’s on Disney Channel, it’ll be on Disney+ in some weeks.

Primal: Genndy Tartakovsky delighted us with the alliance of a caveman and a dinosaur, two rivals in a wild world who ally after facing a devastating event. It IS brutal and beatiful, has no dialogue and keeps you watching closely. Five final episodes are set to premiere this year. It’s on Adult Swim, maybe on HBO Max.

Tuca and Bertie: for the critics, one of 2019 best shows. For Netflix, a show that had to be cut off because the studio unionized. Two friends in their late 20s face changes in their lives: from living with a boyfriend and plan a life to look a way to stay sober and get a job. Deals with trauma, ptsd, anxiety and more harsh moments very well. In fact, the creator is a vital part of Bojack Horseman! It’s on Netflix.

Aggretsuko: red pandas are cute eh? But what about a antopomorphic red panda who releases her anger and frustrations by singing at a karaoke? This awesome comedy by Sanrio & Netflix is one of anime’s big hits lately. Like T&B, has a good handle of adult problems but not going too deep just to not break the comedy. You can watch it on Netflix.

Regular Show: yeah-uuuuhhhh! Eight seasons, a movie, five Halloween specials and some others. The adventures of a racoon and a blue jay with their co-workers/friends that relies on psychadellia and 80s and 90s nostalgia. It begins good, gets better, then lowers the quality (they were producing the movie at the same time tho, give some credit) and with and after the movie ends awesome. It’s on CN web, dunno if on Hulu (US only) and proably on HBO Max.

Evangelion: it’s a classic at this point, but addictive to me because I end rewatching the series or the final movie many times. A post apocalyptic future where the world has to deal with strange creatures known as the Angels and a boy with lots of traumas has to get on a mecha to save the humankind. All the characters have traumas and issues, the interaction between them or the action makes it worth. The End of Evangelion is a movie that ends the unfinished series. Warning: at some point it becomes very twisted and there are scenes which are too much violent. Viewer disclosure etc. It’s on Netflix worldwide.

Steven Universe & SU Future: this is the tale of the gem boy who ends a galactical tyranny and brings democracy to the universe. A acclaimed show that broke through many topics like gender, identity, ptsd, relationships and many more. Besides it’s got the best scores of the Milky Way and beyond thanks to the talent of Rebecca Sugar, Aivi Tran and Surasshu. And the actors and acrtresses! I don’t forget the movie, a musical that is an introduction to the epilogue: Shippuden Future. The show is available on CN and will be on HBO Max. Worldwide? No news.

Adventure Time: something that began as an innocent boy and a magical dog having adventures in a post apocalyptic world turns into the journey of Finn Metens from childhood to almost adulthood. There is a lot of fantasy and comedy you enjoy, but there are dark moments and serious ones through S6 that find a balance with early seasons form S7 to the finale. It also has great music, memorable moments and colaborations. And guess what? There is going to be a special set to premiere on HBO Max in some weeks! You got plenty of time to catch up or rewatch before that on CN or only (!!) S5 on Netflix.

Final Space: a dude tries to save the universe with their friends, where we can find his love interest, a cat-man and his kitten son, a intersexual alien, an AI then robot that is the best of them, two particular siblings and an annoying bot that prevents insanity that makes you insane. Crazy adventures in space, lots of situations, sadness, an evil smol bean who is a space emperor, a dude who looks for revenge, space deities that can destroy the universe. Is this a lot or info? It is not, because there is more and you can watch it on TBS, Adult Swim and Netflix (the world except US).

Rick and Morty: the most powerful, smartest human in the universe has adventures with his grandson. It’s awesome, but has a very toxic fanbase. Anyway, you can enjoy it on Adult Swim or Netflix (which is up to date!) and the rest of S4 is set someday.

Bojack Horseman: a Hollywood satire about human relationships, fame, traumas with a pour of comedy. Alongside the previous series, the best adult animation of the decade. Sadly cut by Netflix because the studio unionized (see T&B), said by both the creator and Aaron Paul. You can watch the six amazing seasons on that platform.

I’m not an animated movies guy, but here are three I really like and you can watch:

Porco Rosso: a handsome Italian combat aviator turned magically to a pig has a face off with an American pilot hired by pirates to get rid of him before WWII in Fascist Italy. It’s entertaining and, like every Ghibli movie, nice to watch. It’s on Netflix and will be on HBO Max for US.

Lego Batman Movie: Batman is depressed and has to get over it. It’s wacky and has lots of comedy. Plus Will Arnett is top 3 Batman. On Netflix (Latinamerica).

Spiderverse: Oscar winner movie about your friendly neighbour Peter Parker Miles Morales. Miles sees Spiderman die and feels bad after being transfered to a private school. Then a radioactive spider from a Fisk compound bites Miles and he’s Spiderman... among other dimensions’ Spiderpeople: Gwen, Peni, Peter Parker, Noir and Peter Porker. It’s visually amazing. On US it’s on Netflix (I guess), on Latinamerica on HBO.

Some interesting live actions I watched lately

Atlanta: Donald Glover is Earn, a dude who struggles to find a job for her baby girld and sees an opportunity when his cousin, Paper Boi, has a hit and uses him to make his cos famous. Sometimes a comedy, sometimes a social satire with touches of drama. And all protagonists are now big shots, like Zazie Beetz, Brian Tyree Henry or Lakeith Stanfield. There are two seasons and two seasons set for 2021 (2022 possible beacuse of coronavirus). It’s on FX, Hulu (US) and Netflix (world)

Avenue 5: this is brand new. On 2060 space cruises are a thing, and one cruise (the Avenue 5) has an accident that leaves the crew and passangers stranded for years. The captain (Hugh Laurie) has to solve this shit with a bunch of incompetent crew, bosses like Judd (Josh Gad), except one female engeneer who is very smart. Lots of crazy things happen in this series from the creator behind Veep. It’s on HBO (it’s free in the US!).

Peaky Blinders: it has some years but damn it’s epic. A gang from Birmingham makes their way to the top during the late 1910s after the Great War and extends through the 1920s. S5 is right in the ascension of fascism in Britain. ALL THE CAST acts spectacular, names like Cillian Murphy, Tom Hardy, Anna Taylor-Joy and a long etc. But my fave is Paul Anderson, that ultra violent junkie Arthur Shelby is splendid, then is Tommy and aunt Pol, the baddest badass woman in Britain. Blinders is going to have seven seasons, there are two left. You can watch it on BBC or Netflix.

Sex Education: speaking of Britain, excellent teen comedy. Horny, doubtful teenagers going through those hard years. Stories of sex (duh!), abuse situations, abortion, there are gay relationships either, Gillian Anderson! It’s on Netflix, go go go!

Watchmen: despite not having Alan Moore on board, Damien Lindeloff did a tremendous job with the comic. Way better and less misleading than Zack Snyder’s 2009 film, Watchmen is again at the gates of the world’s end (like today) and handles the problem of racism and white supremacy quite well. Just 9 episodes, but worth to watch. On HBO.

CAOS: Sabrina the Teenage Witch is over. Warner and Netflix made a revival of the Archie Comics character and brought her to XXI Century. But gorier, hornier, dark and magical than the nice 90s sitcom. Sabrina Spellman goes from a doubtful teen who has to decide if she has to be a witch or a powerless woman to rule Hell. How she does it? Find out on Netflix! Note: S1 and 2 take some episodes to start properly. Don’t get bored too easy.

There are A LOT MORE to recommend and I make a list: Harley Quinn (DC Universe), OK KO (Hulu -US only-), House MD, Young Justice (DC Universe/Netflix), Ken Burns’ documentaries (Netflix), Titans (DCU), Over The Garden Wall (CN), Seis Manos (Netflix), Thundercats Roar (CN), Easy (Netflix), GLOW (Netflix), Star Trek Discovery (CBS, Netflix) and Picard (CBS, Amazon Prime), etc.

- You named cool shows, but I’m not from the United States or I don’t have a subscription to (insert VOD here) because I can’t afford it

- Glad you asked, I have the answer here

Introducing Stremio. It’s an open source platform where you can watch shows, movies or even live TV on Windows, Linux, Apple or Android. You create an account, install some addons and start looking for what you want to watch.

Stremio is based on torrents, you should install addons from many known torrent sites. So maybe you find an old show, but there aren’t many seeds to watch. And it could be frustraiting, so make sure there are people sharing so you can watch it.

You can download Stremio here and check the FAQs which is very clear.

NOTE: Stremio is note quite “clean” way to watch, but if you do please support the shows you watch by posting, commenting about them, making memes, thanking the creators and crew for their work, buying merchandise if you can. They put a lot to make the shows we love, let’s give ‘em back that love and effort.

You’re tired of the same music, the same movies or need to leave something to make company? There is Vaughn Live, a streaming page where are lots of channels with movies and series on strem (not VOD). For example, there is a channel that streams Adventure Time, other Regular Show, other Sci-Fi shows, another with DBZ and so on. Take in count that if the channel has +70 viewers, the free access is cut and if you want to watch it you have to pay.

En Vaughn también hay canales en español, como Simpsonmanía, Dragon Ball, Futurama, dibujos viejos y muchísimo más. Anyway, go to https://vaughn.live/ and enjoy yourselves!

Y hablando de canales en español, pueden ir a SeriesLan donde está el mayor reservorio conocido de series animadas de entre 1960 a 2010 en español latino. Pueden encontrar tesoros desde Don Gato, los Halcones Galácticos o Street Sharks a Flapjack y Mechas XLR. Otra alternativa para que pasen el rato.

Some interesting facts:

Epic Games releases a free game per week in their store. This week will be two games. You can check in https://www.epicgames.com

Steam has good prices on games and some free ones. There even is the latest Football Manager for free until March 25th. Check on https://store.steampowered.com/

If you’re interested,

I got this playlist I made on Spotify

with songs I liked in more than one year. More than 1200 songs.

And that’s pretty much it! You got resources for a lot of days, 14 initially since that’s the quarantine time in my country. Remember: obey the indications of the Health authorities, this is no time to play the “fuck the goverment” game. We will overcome this pandemy together, helping and caring for each other. That’s why I did this guide, to keep your minds busy in these tough times! Wash your hands, keep social distance, stay at home, go outside if necessary and have some patience please. This has been a PSA.

Stay strong!

Burrito

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roboromantic · 4 years

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apropos of absolutely nothing, I think that ironically my overly literal interpretation of questions (due to probable autism) led to that one school therapist deciding I don't have adhd

like he was like "can you finish a movie?" and I was like "well yeah" but I realize now that perhaps mentioning that I am almost always multitasking and take several long breaks while watching may have been uuuuhhhh important information lmao

like can I finish a movie? yes. It might take all day but yes. can I do it in one sitting w/o doing anything else? only if I'm at a movie theater

speaking of, GD I miss going to the movies. like I think places are technically open (for some damn reason???) but I still ain't goin nowhere until we get a vaccine or st

anyway I'm pretty sure there were more questions like that where it's like "can you do x?" and I didn't realize I needed to say "yes, but." Can they maybe be more specific w/these questions pwease

I go through this w/the depression assessment thing I gotta do whenever I see my pcp too, like "do you experience this?" maybe??? how intense do things have to be in order to be noteworthy.

#5th a blogging #if I ever try to get diagnosed again I've GOT to make a list or plan a spiel abt why I think I'm autistic and/or have adhd #bc I CANNOT remember anything on the spot

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f0xx0rzz · 5 years

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OC questions featuring a couple of my Fallout ocs because I’m in the mood

also its rly long sorry

Original Post Here: https://vault-127.tumblr.com/post/139678317231/oc-interview

I’ll be filling this out for Red, Axe, and Wraith. if you want clarification, or to ask anything else, please send me an ask I love talkin about my ocs aaaaa

1. What is your name? Were you named that for any special reason?

R: “You can call me Lil Red, or just Red. The ‘Lil’ part is because Axe kept calling me ‘Little Red Riding Hood’, and it eventually stuck as it is now.”

A: “Oh, yeah, I’m Axe! My name’s actually Alex, but Axe sounds cooler and also axes are my favorite weapon. My axe is named Axe Jr, by the way.” They point to their fireaxe.

W: “Someone once described me as a wraith, so that’s what I go by. Wraith.”

2. The one place they sometimes end up falling asleep — where they’re not supposed to

R: “Sometimes I fall asleep on the couch on accident... It’s comfortable...”

A: “Uuuuhhhh everywhere, hahah. I could nap all day, and like, anywhere.”

W: “I don’t sleep much, and only if I know it’s a secure place.”

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

R: “Who wouldn’t I like to punch in the face? I guess the first person that comes to mind is Dante, though. Fuck that guy.”

A: “Eh, I dunno. No one in particular comes to mind, really. Don’t like the BoS, though, so any of them I guess?”

W: "Can’t say any particular face comes to mind.”

4. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

R: “Hmm... Hancock. Wait, no, how about...” She thinks for a moment. “Nah, I’d go with Hancock.” She smirks.

A: “I know this is like, not real slavery we’re talking about, but I just really hate the concept of it, so uhh, pass.”

W: “I don’t have anyone particular in mind, but I wouldn’t say no to having a slave for a day.”

5. What is your birthday?

R: “July 11th. How old am I again? I forget...” She pauses to do math in her head. “Oh yeah, 236. Damn.”

A: “September 30th! I’m 233! What the fuck, hahah.”

W: “December 20th. I’ll be turning 25.”

6. What’s your lucky number?

R: “Hm, I haven’t given it much though. I have no idea.”

A: “Number 13! And funnily enough, I got into Vault 113. Lucky, right?”

W: “I don’t believe in luck, really.”

7. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

R: “Two pairs, in case my current ones break.”

A: “I can’t really, uh, wear shoes anymore, now that I have big ol’ werewolf claws.”

W: “Just the ones I’m wearing now.”

8. Do you have a strong accent?

R: She just shrugs. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, it’s not as bad as some people I’ve heard.”

A: “It’s not real strong, but it’s there. Usually only comes out when I’m riled up.”

W: “Not at all, actually.”

9. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

R: “Not really? I sort of lead New Salem’s trade caravan, I guess...”

A: “Nah, it’s cool though. I don’t like authority.”

W: “No. I tend to stick by myself.”

10. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

R: “I don’t really want kids, actually.”

A: “No, hell no. Ew. Fuck that noise.”

W: “Uh, no, I don’t plan on having a family.”

11. Who did you last say “I love you” to?

R: “No one.” She looks away and blushes.

A: “To be honest I don’t really remember. Maybe Red? Oh no, maybe Felix. Does Felix count? Oh, wait, no. Might’ve been Kleo.” They put their hand on their chin in thought.

W: He looks uncomfortable. “... My mother, before she passed.”

12. Have any pets?

R: “Nope.”

A: “Yes! Felix, my radspider. He’s a good boy.” They grin.

W: He seems to perk up. “Yes, my hunting hound, Ghost. I raised him myself from a pup. He’s a wolfdog.”

13. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

R: “Maybe? I’m not sure, really.” She rubs her arm.

A: “Ah, possibly, but I think it’s okay now.” They smile nervously.

W: “Literally, or figuratively?” He chuckles. “Just kidding. I’m not really interested in romance.”

14. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

R: “I’ve been through this twice already, actually. My first ex and I are uh, not on good terms, you could say. But the second one was fine and we’re still good friends. So I guess it depends on if you want to risk a friendship for a relationship? Kind of a gamble.”

A: “Ignoring the ‘opposite’ bit, uhh. Best friends usually make pretty good partners, so try dating? Worth a shot. My ex and I are still best friends!”

W: “Tell her you’re not looking for romance, but that a little fun never hurt.” He smirks.

15. How many people have you had sex with this year?

R: “Ah, just one, actually...” She smiles.

A: “None! I’m asexual.” They give fingerguns.

W: “A couple. I don’t really bother counting.” He shrugs his shoulders.

16. Zodiac sign?

R: “Gemini.” She shrugs.

A: “Libra, the scales. I don’t think it really means anything, though.”

W: “I have no idea what that is.”

17. Would you consider yourself pretty powerful?

R: “I can hold my own, but I’m not particularly ‘powerful’ or whatever.”

A: “I mean, technically I’m kind of a powerhouse now.” They flex.

W: “Although I wouldn’t say powerful, I am a very skilled mercenary.”

18. Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

R: “Hah, yeah...”

A: “Nope! ... At least, I hope not...”

W: “No, I don’t undress around others.”

19. What was your biggest rebellion against authority?

R: “Going to Diamond City even though I’m not ‘allowed’ to or whatever.”

A: “Being a Communist probably!” They chuckle.

W: “I don’t exactly recognize authority to begin with.”

20. What person, place, or thing have you most wanted to destroy?

R: “Hmm... I don’t really hate anything or anyone enough to want to destroy them, I guess. World’s already a mess.”

A: “Shit, man, I dunno. Everything got kinda destroyed already, though.”

W: “The bitch that seduced my father away from my mother and I... I’ve already destroyed her, though.” He smiles.

#f0xx0rzz fallout au

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scrumpylikesthings · 5 years

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Fanfic ask game: B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience? I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)? S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist? X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

So yeah I guess? I mean there’s a little bit of me sprinkled into just about everything I write. Not all of it flattering. And I do have a WIP that is . . . mmm. . . pretty one to one based on real life experiences.

Zombie Walk has a significant part of me in it that I didn’t quite realize when I started. I did meet up with an ex 4 years after we broke up but uuuuhhhh. . . . it went VERY differently haha. But the feelings I described were pretty much the same.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

I’m not sure guilty is the word for it. . .? I am very VERY flustered when writing smut. Like I flap my arms and have to do a little dance to get the shpilkes out. And my filth has only gotten worse. . .? So my dancing has only gotten more flappy. . . . maybe that counts iono.

And Endhawks. That ship is filth-city. Hoo boy. I do like it so, but it makes me clutch my pearls.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

I get the funny feeling I’m going to list out like a million. Like gosh. Mutual pining (I love that so much hnnnnggg), fake dating (more hnnnnggg!!), coffee shop. That one where one person pushes the other until they snap (see: Want) I really like that one. I love fantasy AUs and domestic fluff.

I’ve learned that a lot of fanfiction is just leaning into existing information, and not just the world building and characters, but well tread tropes. In writing original fiction, starting out theres this need to want to buck against convention. But in my travels in reading and writing fanfiction, its learning to lean into what is familiar that makes a good story.

So yeah everyone and their mom has written a coffee shop AU, but I WILL ALWAYS READ IT

(sorry that got off topic. . .)

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

. . . . ugh Iida.

I’m pretty sure enjoy isn’t the right word for this, but I do think he’s interesting in that regard. He’s just so. . . GOOD. He has this set way of how the world should be and has kind of has a hard time adapting when it isn’t. (see: Tensei) And while it does take A LOT to put him in a bad way, once he’s there, he is a force.

Its just kind of wonderful to have that kind, methodical, morally just person with a surprising amount of patience for bullshit get pushed to a point where he can do unspeakable things. I just like playing with that character, its so interesting and fascinating and can be applied in so many different ways.

. . . BUT GOD DAMN DO I HATE IT, HE IS A SWEETIE AND DESERVES EVERYTHING GOOD AND SHOULD NEVER BE SAD ;A;

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kunaigirl · 5 years

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Honesty hour ask thing: Here's my question. Have you ever been so backstabbed by a friend it felt like a romantic partner break up even though you were only friends? I can;t be the only one

Oh honey I could fill a book with all the times I’ve been ditched by people I loved like family. it’s the WORST feeling. Here’s a few recent ones I’ve dealt with. I’m replacing names with letters because damn I don’t even wanna name drop at the point because it’s not even worth it tbh. Put under a read more so it’s not 5 miles long on your dash lmao. (Sorry in advance to mobile users because apparently the app STILL doesn’t register a read more)

Back when I was in my 2nd year of college (2014-2015) I had a friend I was REALLY close with and I’ll call him S. S was one fo the first official college friends I made, and we used to hang out all the time after classes, get lunch together, study together, all that fun stuff. He asked me if I wanted to start dating him, and I came out to him and said “Sorry, I’m gay. But I really like you as a friend!” and he seemed super cool with it so we stayed friends…for a while. Then he started getting SUPER FUCKING CREEPY around me about a month after I “rejected” him and started saying creepy things and getting in my personal space. Unwanted hugs that lasted too long, vague-posting about the “lesbian he was in love with” on his facebook, sharing things on facebook that were homophobic, and then finally when we were alone together in one of the computer labs he grabbed me and hugged me and wouldn’t let go and kept running his hands all on my back and shoulders and I had to punch and shove him away and threaten to call building security. Never heard from him again. He dropped out of school like, a week later for some unrelated reason but lord knows I was thankful I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. It still really hurt though…I also had a friend a year later in 2015-16 who i was super close with, let’s call her B, who turned out to be SUPER FUCKING CRAZY and that lead to a friend break up. She was another early college friend that I made 2nd year and man were were BFFs and it was like nothing could get between us. And then she started doing drugs. She told me it was just weed but MAN it HAD to be way more than that since she changed SO MUCH and so fast for the worse. She used to be cool with me being gay and then suddenly she started being homophobic and saying REALLY sexually explicit and personal things to me about her and her boyfriend and “why are you still gay when there are HOT MEN out there who can ********* and ****** all over your ***** and ***** and ****** and make you ****** and ***** WHY DO YOU NOT LIKE MEN ARE YOU FUCKING SCARED OF THEM IT MAKES NO SENSE TO BE GAY!!!!!” and things like that. And yeah….that was uuuuhhhh the end of that. We were friends for 3 years. That one really hurt.There was also the time someone I trusted back in high school (this happened around 2011-12) and she was a good friend of mine until she wanted me to be her “secret side-piece” because she thought she might be bisexual and I was the only lesbian she knew about and wanted to experiment with it behind her boyfriends back. She said something like “It’s not cheating if it’s gay. And if we do this you can’t tell ANYONE EVER and you also can’t see anyone else even though I’m still with my boyfriend because that’s what bi means right? I like both so I can have both! ALSO DO NOT TELL HIM I ASKED YOU THIS!!!!” I just cut that tie as fast as possible. She guilt-tripped me for saying no and told me I was a fake-friend for not being her “side-ho” or whatever and I was “preventing her from learning about her sexuality.” so uh. Yeah that ended too. We were friends for almost 3 years. Most recently I had a friend of 12+ years (became friends in middle school) Who was like a sister to me and we were super close and she suddenly just. Stopped. She stopped talking to me, blocked me on her social media, literally never talked to me again. I left her texts, emails, messages, and voice mails asking if I did anything to upset her and if I did I was sorry and we could talk things out, but she never got back to me EVER. She was my first friend in 7th grade (2007) and we were SO SO CLOSE all throughout middle and high school and yes, even most of college too. Then suddenly, with to explanation or closure, she ditched me to the curb. Out of all the friend-break-ups, that one hurt the worse.

Just to name a few.

#I said I'd be honest so heres some shit #long post #asks #honesty hour #SORRY MOBILE USERS

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zareleonis · 6 years

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Am I the only one that hated the fake death stuff in Heros of Mandalore? Because imo if Ursa and Tristan really had died I think it would have had a better emotional impact, and it would have furthered the growth of Sabine’s character better.

yeah i agree @sturwurstrash

i don’t think seeming to (or actually) kill a character then bringing them back is INHERENTLY a bad thing, but it’s gotta be done right.

too often it either undermines a character’s sacrifice or it erases the effect it has on the OTHER characters and how they deal with it (or WOULD have). also goddammit IF I’M GOING TO CRY FOR A CHARACTER I WANT MY TEARS TO ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING. I WANT MY TEARS TO BE JUSTIFIED DAMMIT.

in this case i think the temporary sense of loss still hits hard, in that it’s difficult for me to see sabine that sad period. but it was a massively cheap attempt at making you sad without actually DOING anything. it doesn’t even serve the purpose of being a proper CLIFFHANGER because part 1 and 2 aired concurrently. you feel sad for like, a fucking commercial break or however long it takes for the credits to roll then it’s gone.

it teases at something tha 1) massively changes sabine’s life 2) could serve to further develop the bonds between her and her friends and remaining family 3) give concrete and REAL consequences for the mistakes she made that the VIEWER also feels. she references people she knows dying, and those unnamed clan wren warriors who died were probably like. cousins or people she grew up with so hard to deal with but does that emotionally affect me? only insofar as i don’t like seeing her suffer period and empathize with her a lot.

if we had to fake out a death, then one of tristan and ursa should have lived and one died. i don’t WANT either of them to die. BUT that would leave sabine with at least SOMETHING to salvage from the mess, while still having to deal with the fallout of losing her family to her own invention JUST after getting them back.

there’s a a pretty stark contrast between tristan and ursa’s Not Death and ezra and ahsoka’s supposed deaths.

for one thing, ezra surviving a short fall is actually BELIEVABLE. not to mention the viewer doesn’t REALLY think he’s gone because we Know Better. but the effect it has on kanan?? even for just the short duration of the fight is electric. simply establishing just how unthinkable losing (failing :c) ezra is for kanan and how his entire demeanor shifts dramatically is enough. it strengthened their relationship and sets a tone for the rest of the series of JUST HOW FAR kanan will go for ezra.

and ahsoka UUUUHHHH IM STILL TAKING ALL THAT IN LOL buuuuut the characters thought she was dead for 2+ years and it affected them extensively. and as a viewer, as SUSPICIOUSLY OPEN ENDED as twilight of the apprentice was, she honestly might as well have been dead for all it HURT. bringing her BACK served a concrete purpose to the plot and characters around her. and it wasn’t something done lightly AT ALL, whether you actually liked it or not. i don’t feel like i cried over her for no damn reason!!!

SO YEAH ALL THIS TO SAY I AGREE IT WAS BADLY DONE AND AN UNIMPRESSIVE WRITING CHOICE.

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misskoleslaw · 5 years

Text

-/Nice to meet you krypto.... he actually shook his paws....nice

-also I was genuinely tricked with that commercial bit.

-I knew he was gonna save Jason, they didn’t even TRY to hide that

-who is this twelve year old girl???

-MERCY GRAVES, I never cared for her sooooo...yeah

-oh, you ain’t getting that “experiment” back....cause yknow....superboy and all that

-ooh he’s a BABY

-uh....so he’s just standing in the street? Weird flex but okay(sorry)

-this musics annoying

-oh, wow that shirt looks significant....I wonder why?

-😨wut

-oho noiice.....okay don’t do that......Connor......oh...he’s such a sweetheart even though he just stole that woman’s money(Joshua orpin is perfect.....that’s his name right?)

-mercy is a jerk, I like the twelve year old better.... she’s right he hasn’t had his nap

-it’s kwypto the thuper dawg

-that was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard “I have a feeling we’re in Kansas” Yeah that’s a kneeslapper for sure

-well he knows how to properly pour a drink...I think.... I don’t even know how to properly pour a drink

-“why did you beat him” Oof

-(young anakin voice) now THIS is superboy

-damn krypto

-ooh. The blue eye effect is REALLY cool

-ooooohhhhh his dads, he literally called them that....why is that so cute to me??? Oh yeah, because it is

-oh yeah, I forgot that he’s also super smart cause lex Luther DUH I’m an idiot

-“can I call you mom?”😍

-krypto is so FREAKING CUTE

-oh you’re a grown up?? Never would’ve guessed. You’ll always be a twelve year old to me

-If someone told me an abandoned chemical place was my dad I’d be like “uuuuhhhh, are you a sure. Cause...like, what?”

-krypto be like “nah, man”

-wtf is that

-whoah woah woah.....Connor.......connor.......is she? nope she’s not.

-they were hurting krypto???!!!! Good job for hurting them Connor....Jesus

-now👏 it’s time tooooo..... SAVE MY BOY, SAVE MY BOY, SAVE MY BOY

-I shegonna die??? I think she is

-don’t be a hero. Ha ...that’s funny ....but uh no

-YES! DO IT! DAMN

-i sense a friendship comin on and I love it

-WAIT NO

-NO, KRYPTO. FUCK...just...why???

Aight then waaay better than the last episode that strayed... so 8.5/10

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daqtranscripts · 6 years

Text

Ep.2 Transcript

Ep. 2 Transcript: Alpine Escape - Chapter Two.

Begin:

Opening theme:

[THEME MUSIC — WRITTEN FOR THE SHOW BY SOPHIE]

[RECAP]

Sophie: It’s a frigid night in the mountains, and we see a group of assorted humanoids — humans, elves, dwarves and other, less common races — huddled together for warmth inside dome cages made of sturdy wood. Rugged and cruel-looking orcs patrol the spaces between the cages as well as the rest of the land between a tall stone keep that the orcs have occupied for some time. In the bowels of the keep, a half-orc named Lazza packs her bags and initiates a daring plan to cover her escape.

Kenway: Thanks...thanks for your stories. Yeah I, uh, I think they’re really helping everyone.

Ellywick: Well thanks.

Kenway: What’s your name?

Ellywick: My name is Ellywick Faelover Wandfidget the Ambiguous.

Kenway: Uh, my name is Kenway. I, uh…do you really think someone is going to come for us? If...if we do get saved, don’t leave us behind, okay?

Mara: Fuck. Oh man! [LAUGHING]

Sophie: How do you respond to that?

Credence: No pressure!

Mara: Right?

Lazza: I could use a distraction. Are you good in a fight?

Defiance: Is this to be some sort of a jailbreak, then?

Lazza: I was just wanting to get away. You could do whatever the hell you want with the kids, but… I wasn’t really thinking on having extra baggage… Ah, fuck it… I’ll chop out the kids while you make a ruckus. Okay. Alright. Oh! And, uh… Hey, if we live through this, I’m Lazza.

Defiance: It is a pleasure to meet you, Lazza. I’m Defiance.

Sophie: There’s, like, an orc on the battlement… Yeah, not only do you hit this orc, but you fuckin’, like, this thing gets hit right in the head with this glowing, like, bolt, and its head snaps back and it falls backwards, not off the battlement, but backwards onto the battlement. They’re preparing for a siege, they think they’re under attack.

Joe: Oof!

[END RECAP]

[THEME MUSIC]

Announcer: This show is part of the trans podcaster visibility initiative.

Sophie: Uh… Okay! Back to Lazza now. Defiance has just kind of skirted off into the night, um, and the villagers are starting to pour out and kind of work on...the other cage. What do you do?

Credence: The one with the…?

Sophie: The one with the elves.

Credence: Okay. And are any of them headed towards, um, the path...that I indicated? ‘Cause, like, 40 people trying to undo a cage is gonna be noticed.

Sophie: Yeah, that’s fair! Maybe like half of ‘em start to undo the cage and — it was 40 including the children and everything…

Credence: Right, but that’s still a lot of people.

Sophie: Yeah, there’s like, 20 adults, maybe like 25, and...we’ll say about half of ‘em kinda work together to undo the cage and they’re pulling it apart — which they’re not having huge success with, but it’s slow-going, but they are doing it — and the other half are heading down the path that you indicated.

Credence: Okay, um… So, I’m gonna...sneak over to the kids’ cage, um…

Sophie: ™ kids, like ™ cage...

[CROSSTALK AND MUFFLED BREATHY LAUGHTER]

Credence: Um… [ROLLS DICE] Well… [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] That is a one.

[SNORTING AND CRINGING ��OOH”]

Sophie: I think that, ah… Y’know, again, you’re able to get the cage open with your axe, but you make a lot of noise doing it. To the point—

Credence: Well, here, here — narratively, I have an idea. When the tremors start, Lazza just freaks out. She’s just like, “Holy shit!”

[SNORTING]

Sophie: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Um, I think...you hear the noises from the castle and everything and I think that Lazza freaks out and — again, I don’t think that you’re unable to get this cage open, I think what happens is just that you’re freaking the fuck out and you’re making a lot of noise and maybe even roaring a little bit, as you’re tearing this down, you’re making like a [ROARING YELLING NOISE]! You scare the shit out of the kids!

Mara: I think Ellywick kinda like, pulls their hood back and is like, “You think you could be a little quieter?!” [LAUGHS]

Lazza: [FRANTICALLY AND LOUDLY] Listen! [CLEARS THROAT AND LOWERS VOICE AGAIN] You’re a weird-looking kid…

Ellywick: [IN IRRITATION] I’m not a kid! I’m a gnome! Thanks!

Lazza: [IN A COMBINATION OF FLUSTERED SURPRISE AND DISCRIMINATORY SUSPICION] Oh—! OH…

[EVERYONE ERUPTS INTO LAUGHTER]

Lazza: [FLUSTERED] Look, um…! The…! The strange orc is doing magic! And! Look! I — do you wanna get outta here or not?!

Ellywick: [SHIFT IN DEMEANOR] I… Uh, yeah! How can I help?

Lazza: Ahh, j-just— c’mon, bring the kids…! Ah, FUCK. See that path?

Credence: [ASIDE] I point out the path again.

Ellywick: Yeah?

Lazza: I just need you to get the kids to the path and give ‘em to the...give ‘em off to the humans, you just… Uhh… Yeah! Just get…! Going that way!

Mara: Okay, and I think I kind of, like, round up all of the kids with the help of Kenway and — I know all their names by now and I’m like, “Timmy, Bobby, Susie, Kenway, let’s go!” Like… [LAUGHS]

Sophie: And I think, actually, as you’re doing it, Kenway is kind of looking at Lazza and kind of grabs Ellywick’s hand quick and tries to pull you down the path as well.

Mara: Mhmm.

Sophie: And kind of looks at you and is like, definitely scared of Lazza a bit, but is looking at you, Ellywick, and looking like, “Don’t...don’t leave us!”

Ellywick: I, erm… Look, kid, you’ll be safe with the adults, I just… I can help, and remember those heroes that I told you about? Kinda one of them sometimes.

Kenway: Promise me you’ll come.

Mara: R-right now? Come back? I dunno what you’re asking me! [NERVOUS CHUCKLING]

Sophie: I thought you were making a sex joke.

Mara: Nooooo!

Sophie: Well, I wouldn’t put it past you!

Credence: [FAUX MIFFED] It’s a child, Sophie!

Sophie: I-I’m the one playing the child! Mara’s the one playing the fucking pervy gnome!

Mara: Yeah but they’re not gonna perv on some kids! They have standards!

Sophie: Well I should hope so! But yeah, no…

Kenway: Promise me you’ll follow.

Ellywick: I’ll b— I’ll be back in a little bit, don’t worry about me!

Sophie: Okay, yeah, he runs off.

Mara: Okay. I, um… What do I see, I guess? What’s…

Sophie: Ah, you wanna make a perception roll?

Mara: Sure.

Sophie: We’ll get you rolling some dice.

Mara: [ROLLS DICE] Ugh! Uuuuhhhh, that is...a four!

Sophie: ‘Kay. You see kind of the only obvious things here — you see this big-ass fuckin’ orc that’s starting to walk away, and… What is Lazza doing right now, actually?

Credence: Um. I think Lazza is going over to help with the elf cage, ‘cause like…

Sophie: I think Lazza’s just like, “We needed to get out of here, like, five minutes ago!”

Credence: Mhmm.

Sophie: Like, “The sooner you all leave, the better.”

Credence: Mhmm.

Sophie: Okay! Yep. That makes sense from a character choice standpoint. Okay, so that’s...but you don’t really intuit anything about the situation.

Mara: Okay. Uuuuuuumm…! I think I’m gonna go and try and help out just with getting the, ah, I guess the elf cage.

Sophie: Okay. Ah, do y’all wanna make another stealth roll? Lazza?

Credence: Yeah. [ROLLS DICE]

Mara: Should I, too?

Sophie: I think Lazza’s the one hacking it apart.

Mara: Alright.

Credence: Well, I got a 10.

Sophie: Yeah, again, I think that this happens very loudly, but at the same time, you know, I think probably the earth is still shaking a little bit and there’s tons of commotion inside the keep, and I just don’t think that there’s a huge amount of people looking for exactly what’s happening. You know? They’re probably not overly concerned with their prisoners, they’re looking for an incoming army. So, I think they probably don’t notice, but at the same time, it’s very loud and you’re probably filled with anxiety over that.

Ellywick: Stealth, uh, isn’t really your strong suit, huh?

Lazza: Well actually, I’m proficient in it, it’s just, uh, I’m nervous.

[SOFT CHUCKLING]

Ellywick: I, ah… I’ll believe it when I see it, I guess! I… So what’s the plan? What’re we doing?

Lazza: Uh… Well, I haven’t really thought much...past this… Um… I mean, like—

Ellywick: [FLABBERGASTED] Let me get this straight — you decided you were gonna free all of us and then just, I don’t know, let what happens happen?!

Lazza: [FLUSTERED] Well, I just…! I needed...I needed a distraction, I needed to get out of here! So like, look, I mean…

Ellywick: [SCOFFS]

Lazza: [STAMMERING] I don’t know! I’m making it up as I go! Just, ah… Look, the strange orc is making a...quite a bit of ruckus over there. So we need to...get going! And just start running! Or, you know…! I didn’t think this through!

Sophie: I think as you are literally shouting “I didn’t think this through,” Defiance comes running, like jogging straight up and is like, “Back! Strange Orc is back!~”

Lazza: Okay! Strange Orc! [STUTTERING] Do you have any ideas?! What do we do?!

Ellywick: Wait! What’s your name? You’ve gotta have a name other than “Strange Orc.”

Defiance: Oh! Erm… My name is Defiance.

Ellywick: Pleased to meet you! Orc, what’s your name?

Lazza: [ANXIOUSLY] I— Look, I’m Lazza, but we really gotta go, and I think we should make a beeline—

Credence: And she points to, like, another...path that’s really hidden, like not really… I think she has another means of escape besides the path she told the prisoners to go down so that she wouldn’t be tracked with them.

Mara: Yeah…

Credence: So she’s like—

Lazza: Look, look! It’s great to get to know y’all, but we gotta GO.

Mara: Ellywick’s—

Ellywick: [HUFFY] Well, I promised the kid I would be back, so I gotta go that way, but uh, [VERY FAST AND VERY EXCITED] I’m Ellywick Faelover Wandfidget the Ambiguous, it was nice to meet ya!

Mara: And that’s kinda as they’re running away.

Defiance: [SOFTLY] Li-like...wise…?

Mara: [CHUCKLING]

Defiance: Lazza, you go down your path. I’ll catch up.

Lazza: [STUTTERS]

Defiance: I think just a bit more chaos is needed.

Mara: And Ellywick kinda, like, whips around and is like, “Chaos?~”

Lazza: Well, yeah, that’s the whole point, we’re trying to make a distraction, but it’s no good if you both end up dead! Like, look, I…! You know what? Damn it!

Defiance: [BEMUSED BUT EARNEST] It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.

Ellywick: [DEVIOUSLY] I got a trick or two up my sleeve if they catch us.

Credence: I feel like… I feel like Lazza would have...like, she’s already kinda got a kinship with Defiance just ‘cause she likes the strange orc with purple skin! Like, look, that’s rad! Your teeth are growing out of your head though, that’s super weird.

Joe: [LAUGHING]

Credence: But…

Joe: I’m sorry.

Credence: I feel like she’s a little bit more mistrustful of Ellywick ‘cause she doesn’t know what to expect from her?

Mara: Them.

Credence: Sorry. Them. And…

Joe: That’s fair.

Credence: I’m just trying to figure out if Lazza would stay? Do you know what I mean?

[CHORUS OF HUMMED AGREEMENT]

Sophie: I’ll tell you, as a narrator, like, y’all can do what you want, but you kind of have a moral, ethical choice — either you can abandon these villagers, who will probably be captured and killed by the orcs if they don’t have someone to lead them through the forest, and who will probably die of exposure even if the orcs don’t catch up with them, and you can go on your own...or you can go with them and kind of try to ensure their survival. And I think that’s a conversation that the three of you need to have. That’s something that your characters need to work through.

Credence: Right. ‘Cause like, right now, where Lazza is, she’s just focused on “she needs to get out.” She doesn’t have the perspective right now to realize, “You’re going to leave all these people for dead if you don’t go with them.”

Sophie: Right, absolutely.

Joe: Mhmm.

Credence: She doesn’t have that, like, perspective right now. She can’t think through that ‘cause she’s currently worried about herself.

Joe: Right.

[INDECIPHERABLE CROSSTALK]

Joe: I was, ah… I was gonna have Defiance kind of explain that, just in general.

Mara: Mhmm.

Joe: I’ll do a little, like — I’ll do a character voice.

Defiance: Listen! Lazza, I know you’re scared! But the thing is I need to stay behind just a little bit more so those villagers have a little bit more time to get out of sight, because one or two of us can more easily sneak away than a whole group. But those people also need some guidance.

Ellywick: And I don’t know these woods so well. I made a promise to a kid though, so… You seem like you know this area pretty well, orc.

Lazza: Yeah, I do. I just…

Defiance: Listen. I swear to you by my gods, I will catch up to you. But please, make sure that those people are safe. Can you do that for me?

Lazza: Yeah. Look, if we’re gonna have that much… If we’re gonna have all these folks here, they’re gonna need to be able to defend themselves. Doesn’t matter how much I bring ‘em through the forest or how good my tracking skills are in trying to get us away, we’re gonna have to defend ourselves eventually. So, uh… I guess I’m… We’re gonna need some weapons.

Defiance: Aye. Do you know of any of the nearby villages here? There might be a few blacksmiths, or, if you think that it would be wise, we could try to steal some from the orcs here, but I think that it might be a fool’s errand. We might just get ourselves killed.

Lazza: Well, uh...depends on how good you can make a… How good the rest of your distractions are. As far as they know, I’m still one of them.

Credence: So...I guess what I’m figuring here is that Lazza would try to… Is the keep completely locked down now, Sophie?

Sophie: Yeah, the keep is completely locked down, they’re preparing for seige. There’s one orc that’s running around outside right now, and...actually, hmm, I should’ve had you do this but I didn’t think of it. But since you all are going this route, make a retroactive perception check, probably just Defiance.

[DICE ROLLING]

Joe: Oh, just me? Oh, okay. Uh, 14.

Sophie: I think you saw this, then… You saw some shit fall. Because of your Guiding Bolt, when that got hit, that whole area got illuminated, and you saw the things, basically, that that orc was holding… He saw the light, and he leaned over a little bit and then he dropped ‘em and he got shot backwards by your Guiding Bolt. But some things were dropped off the battlements, and then there’s one orc running around outside too.

Joe: Alright.

Sophie: Trying to find a way in unsuccessfully.

Defiance: Well, at least we know where there might be a few weapons, at the very least.

Lazza: Where?

Defiance: I see you’ve got that nice big axe of yours… Over right by the battlement, I think there’s an orc outside and I think the one that I hit lost some of his stuff.

Lazza: Ah… Alright. Hey, gnome…you, uh—

Ellywick: [FIRMLY] I have a name! I have six!

Lazza: Ah...yeah… Uh...E-Ellywhistle? Is that it?

[RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]

Ellywick: It’s Ellywick!

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

Lazza: [EMBARRASSED] Uh… Okay, uh…

[INTERMISSION — INTERLUDING THEME MUSIC]

Sophie: What’s up, dungeoneers? This is Sophie Lastnameredacted here with your commercial break that I know is everyone’s favourite part of the episode, but we have to do it because I said so! I have got three things again that I wanna tell you about quick.

One is that we are offering real live advertising… [FUMBLES WORDS] slots on the show. I can talk. Um, real live advertising slots on the show. So if you have a podcast, or an Etsy shop, or a webcomic, or anything that you wanna get advertised, we can help you out! Slots start at just $5/episode, so they are pretty cheap and you can hit us up about that pretty much wherever you wanna contact us. We’re pretty easy to get a hold of. There’s information on your cover art.

Next thing I want to mention is our Patreon. We have three different levels currently. The first is a $1 level, where you get access to some bonus content; that includes pictures of the cast, that includes...how do you wanna say...stat sheets, that includes some character bios, some player bios, just some interesting stuff that we think it is… You know, it’s not needed, per se, to enjoy the show, but it’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing!

So at the $10 level, which is the next one up, you get early episodes. So basically you get the episodes a week early, no fuss, no muss, you’re just the first one at the water cooler to know about it.

And then at the $15/month level, you are basically part of our inner circle, our absolute best friends, and because you’re our best friends, we’re gonna send you gifts! Once or twice a year! Basically how it’s gonna go is starting in June, we’re gonna — all of our $15/month Patrons, we’re gonna send out gifts, and it could be anything! We’re looking at potentially some pride-themed colored dice, we’re looking at mugs with the show kind of logo on ‘em, the cover art, we’re looking at just all sorts of cool merch, maybe some dice towers. Maybe a cool custom dice bag or dice chest or something. I’m actually a carpenter as a hobby, so there’s a chance that — probably not this first time but there’s a chance that eventually you might get something made for you specifically by me! I might go to my shop and crank out a couple of cool rewards. So basically, we want to thank you for being a supporter at that level, at our highest level, and we’re gonna do everything we can to make sure you get what you want. We’re even gonna cover shipping.

So basically, our Patreon link, the web address for it is on your cover art. Go check that out and hopefully you decide to support us! Even $1/month, folks, that is 50¢/episode. This is queer content with good representation. I think it’s… We’re talking, like, hour-long episodes pretty much, more or less — sometimes more, sometimes less — but I think that that’s worth 50¢/episode. I really do. I know that certain people have caps and how much they support, how much money they contribute to art and stuff like that a month, but really, I think that just about most people can swing $1/month, 50¢/episode. So. You know, I want to encourage you to all go check that out and consider it!

The next thing I want to talk to you about, and I promise we’re almost done and then we’ll get back to the...well, not the dungeon, but the, how do you wanna say, orc encampment — is the transcription project we have going on right now. I can’t transcribe all this audio by myself. I’m not that good at audio transcription, I’m really slow, and it’s a huge problem when it takes me days and days and days and days and days to transcribe audio, because that means that I can’t get ahead on other stuff, and when I can’t get ahead on other stuff, like editing audio, we risk having to release episodes late. Which is a huge problem, especially when we’re asking for Patrons. So if you are interested in accessibility and disability advocacy and stuff like that… I shouldn’t say “disability advocacy.” I know not all d/Deaf people consider being d/Deaf a disability. I apologize for that. But my point is if you care about accessibility at all, for people who communicate different and for people who, you know, need a different accommodation in this audio medium, like… You can help us! Get in contact with me through our email and I will share the Google Drive folder with you, and you’ll get access to the episodes sometimes two or even three weeks early! Sometimes maybe even more! With the understanding that you are helping us make transcripts. And if you don’t live up to that, then I will remove you from the people that it’s shared with. I’m not messing around. Please don’t screw with me here, okay? I really… I hope we don’t have any problems, I hope we don’t have anyone who just wants the episodes early and doesn’t care about accessibility and stuff like that. But I do need some help. I can’t do this by myself. Like I said, I’m just not that great at it. And it’s not that hard! You know, the idea — at least, in my mind — is that it...if our episodes are an hour long and we have ten people contributing to it, each person needs to only transcribe six minutes of audio. That’s not that much! That’s so much better than me doing an hour! So if you’re interested in helping out and making this accessible, I would really appreciate it if you would get in contact with me. And, you know, you’ll have my respect and admiration for that.

So yeah! That’s about all I have to say today. Next episode is gonna drop, as always, in two weeks. So I will see you then. Check out our Patreon and let’s get back to the adventure!

[END INTERCESSION — INTERLUDING THEME MUSIC]

Lazza: A-alright, Ellywick. You, uh… [STAMMERING] You good in a fight…? You wanna help me take down that guy? While, uh, while Defiance here keeps making some, uh, some ruckus?

Ellywick: I, ah… Yeah! Sure.

Sophie: Okay! Uh…

[INDECIPHERABLE CROSSTALK AND LAUGHTER]

Sophie: Defiance first, I’m assuming you’ll go up and try to find whatever was dropped?

Joe: Yeah.

Sophie: Okay, so… You find a—

Credence: Wait, wait, wait, wait. I’m sorry, I’m confused. I thought that the orc who’s running around is near the stuff that got dropped.

Sophie: I was just gonna say that they’re kind of in two different areas. Because Defiance had to return from being over in that separate area. Does that make sense? So the area that Defiance shot that Bolt from was a little ways away from where you all are now.

Credence: Okay, but they shot the Bolt up at the keep at the battlement and the...like, directly underneath would be the orc trying to get in, right?

Sophie: Uh...yeah, I imagined it as a different section of the battlement. Like, the battlement goes all the way around the outside of the keep.

Credence: Right. Okay. Sorry, um, I thought you were trying to indicate that we’d have to attack that orc to get at those weapons.

Sophie: Noooo, yeah, there’s two separate things going on. Okay! So we’ll resolve Defiance’s first. Defiance, I assume you go over there?

Joe: Yeah.

Sophie: Do you wanna make a stealth roll or do you wanna just kind of…?

Joe: Ummm… Sure, yeah, yeah. [ROLLS DICE] Aw, that’s only a 12.

Sophie: Uhhhhh… Yeah, that beats an orc’s passing perception, actually, so—

Joe: Phew!

Sophie: Yeah, they are not great. We’ll say that that’s good enough.

Credence: [SASSILY/SARCASTICALLY] Excuse you. Not all orcs.

[SNICKERING]

Sophie: Yeah, well…

Credence: Oh wow.

Sophie: Yeah.

Credence: I just used those words.

[LAUGHING]

Sophie: Yeah. Um… [SIGHS] So you go over there and you find a, kind of embedded in the ground as it’s very heavy and it fell from a great distance, but there is a warhammer.

Joe: Nice! Oh, I… I offer just a quick prayer of thanks ‘cause I feel like this is an omen.

Sophie: [LAUGHS HEARTILY]

Joe: What?! One of my gods, their symbol is a warhammer!

Sophie: Oh, really? Okay.

Credence: That’s pretty rad.

Sophie: That is pretty rad. Okay, and then I’ll assume you kind of make your way back with that same level of stealth. And then, Lazza and Ellywick, you kind of go up to this kind of screeching, really nervous orc — oh, I’m sorry, Defiance, did you want to make more distractions or something? Like, what were you gonna do?

Joe: Um, well I was gonna do is… I can actually cast thaumaturgy again, do more of the tremors, but also cast Burning Hands on… Are the cages really the only really wooden things around here? Is there also maybe, like, a stack of firewood somewhere?

Sophie: Um… I think that you can kind of drag the wicker into a pile, and I think that’ll work.

Joe: Mmkay! I’ll do that then. Catch it on fire.

Sophie: Okay! Cool! You do that. And those are the distractions — there’s more tremors and there’s a fire. So, Ellywick and Lazza, you walk up to this big motherfucker of an orc — he’s actually not that big of a motherfucker, he’s kind of a scrawny fucker…

Credence: Well, question. Would we get… If we tried sneaking up, could we maybe get an ambush kind of thing?

Sophie: Yeah, sure, if you wanna make stealth rolls.

Credence: What do you think, Ellywick?

Mara: Yeah! Sure!

[INDECIPHERABLE CROSSTALK]

Credence: [ROLLS DICE]

Mara: I’ve got a plan otherwise that can incapacitate him, so...even if we don’t successfully sneak, I’ve got something planned. [ROLLS DICE]

Credence: Well, I got an 18, finally, so. [HUFFED LAUGHTER]

Joe: Niiiiiice!

Mara: Uuuuuum…!~ I got...a 20. Ayyy!

Sophie: Okay! Uh, yeah! I think that you two actually sneak up on this guy fairly well and get a surprise round of combat.

Credence: Noice.

Mara: Nooooice.

Sophie: So roll initiative just so I know who’s going first.

Mara: [ROLLS DICE]

Credence: Okay, and initiative is our d—

Sophie: D20?

Credence: Yeah, but it’s like, plus decks? [ROLLS DICE]

Mara: 9.

Credence: I got 21.

Mara: Nice!

Sophie: Okay. Cool. So Lazza goes first, and then Ellywick, and then it’ll be Lazza again ‘cause you’ll get a surprise round. But uh… Let’s, Lazza, why don’t you make your attack roll or do whatever you’re gonna do?

Credence: [BREATHES DEEPLY] Okay, um, so… I think...I think I’m just gonna do, um… Sorry, I’m just trying to figure out, like, do I rage yet? Or… You know.

Mara: [LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Credence: But I think I’m gonna just do a...two-handed battle-axe swing at this guy.

Sophie: Okay, cool.

Credence: Soooo, let’s see… [ROLLS DICE] And that’s a 9! That did not work.

Mara: You tap him on the head.

Sophie: Is that a 9 plus whatever you’re supposed to add?

Credence: Um, well, I got a 3 and then…

Sophie: Oh, okay.

Mara: Oof-a-doof-a!

Credence: And then I get a plus 6.

Sophie: Okay. So I think that attack doesn’t really work. Uh, I think it’s dark and you’re still nervous and you miss.

Credence: I probably — the tremors freaked me out again, and I’m just like [SHOUTS IN SURPRISE WITH LAZZA VOICE], you know?

Sophie: Okay, Ellywick?

Mara: Ellywick is going to cast Tasha’s Hideous Laughter, so…

Joe: Oh, God…

Mara: “A creature of my choice that I can see within range perceives everything as hilariously funny and falls into fits of laughter if this spell affects it. The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or fall prone, becoming incapacitated and unable to stand for the duration.” So you have to beat...13! [ROLLS DICE AND LAUGHS EVILLY]

Sophie: Yeah, that is…

Joe: Christ…

Sophie: What is that, a 6 or an 8? That’s 6. That’s a 6, plus 0 — that does not pass. This orc goes from screaming to laughing in the most horrible noise you’ve ever heard as it falls prone and drops all its shit and is just, as the spell said, incapacitated.

Mara: [CACKLES] Ah… Oh, wait, so he dropped the shit?

Credence: Was he holding, like, a weapon?

Sophie: Yeah, yeah, we’ll say he dropped the longsword he was holding.

Mara: Um, can I...as part of this turn, try and grab it, or…?

Sophie: Yeah, sure.

Mara: Okay. Should I roll stealth?

Sophie: Just make a dex check. Sleight of Hand, I think.

Mara: Okay, Sleight of Hand, okay. [ROLLS DICE] 15!

[INDECIPHERABLE CROSSTALK]

Joe: That sword’s about as big as you are.

Sophie: Yeah.

Mara: [PROUDLY] Yeah. [LAUGHS]

Sophie: Yeah, that’s good enough. Okay, so you picked up this sword. What do you do?

Mara: I’m gonna stash it for now.

Sophie: Okay. And I think Lazza’s top of the order.

Credence: Okay, Lazza is now SCREAMING. And just points at—

[HEARTY LAUGHTER]

Credence: Just, like…

Lazza: [SCREAMING] What did you…?! What did you do?! What the hell are you?! [FRANTIC STAMMERING] What did you do?!

Ellywick: [SURPRISED] I can use magic!

Lazza: Oh, dear GOD!

[MORE LAUGHTER]

Ellywick: Thanks!

Lazza: [INDECIPHERABLE PANICKED FRAGMENTS] Can you make him stop?! It’s just, it’s terrifying!

Ellywick: I, ah, I mean… It’s kinda, if he’s gonna nut up and get over it at this point…

Joe: I mean, you could just kill him.

Ellywick: Yeah, that would probably be the easiest way would just be to strike him down.

Mara: And I think Ellywick’s kinda looking up at Lazza and just blinking, like, “Your move.”

Lazza: I just… Fuckin’ magic users.

Credence: And then she just swings her axe two-handed and just goes through this dude’s neck.

Sophie: Okay, I think that you have advantage on an attack roll.

Mara: Yeah, ‘cause he’s prone.

Credence: Yeah, ‘cause he’s prone. Okay. [ROLLS DICE] Good, ‘cause that was another FUCKING 3. [ROLLS DICE] And that is a 23!

[CHEERING AND WHOOPING]

Credence: So then I roll one D10 plus four?

Sophie: Yep!

Credence: Um… Lemme see here… [ROLLS DICE] Alright, I got a seven plus four, so 11.

Sophie: Yeah, you cleanly decapitate this orc.

Mara: I think Ellywick looks kind of horrified.

Sophie: And I think, probably, you do a cool Obi/Ani twirling your axe around first and then “HWAHHH!” with that.

Joe: Nice!

Credence: I think that with this, Lazza looks so much more relaxed.

Mara: Oh God!

Credence: After having cleanly — she’s full of this rage because she does not like magic all that much, ‘cause like… She’s just way more calm now that she’s just like… And there’s a little bit of blood spatter on her hands and maybe up on her face and she’s just kind of like, gives a slightly serene smile with her eyes looking off into the distance a little. [DESCENDS INTO LAUGHTER]

Mara: Ellywick just kinda looks up at Lazza and is like…

Ellywick: I…! I didn’t mean take his head off!

Lazza: Well it made me feel better. This guy was a jerk.

[RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]

Ellywick: Fair enough! Now what?

Lazza: Well, check his pockets.

Mara: Yeah, we check his pockets.

Sophie: You loot the body. We’ll say that you all find 6GP total, which you can split two ways or three ways depending on how you wanna be.

Mara: I mean, I don’t care.

Credence: I mean… That’s pocket change to Lazza, ‘cause she’s used to raiding a lot more than that.

[CROSSTALK]

Mara: So Ellywick’s gonna pocket that, then.

Sophie: Okay.

Credence: And we can divvy up all of our money later if we’re gonna use it. What else is on him?

Sophie: Well, there was the longsword that y’all already took… I think that’s probably about it. This was not exactly a well-equipped raider. I think Defiance returns to you all and you say whatever it is that you say.

Defiance: Well, it looks like the gods have smiled on the both of us! Got myself a nice warhammer, got — dear God, it’s as big as you are!

Ellywick: [SOFTLY, BUT WITH PASSION] Yeah! [REGULAR VOLUME] To be honest, I much prefer daggers, but uh… Here we are.

Sophie: So you all have an ethical dilemma now, which I believe you solved, but it’s time to shit or get off the pot with it — do you go after Kenway and the rest of the villagers or do you go down a different path, so to speak?

Mara: Ellywick does.

Joe: Yeah, I’ll say…

Defiance: Well, should we catch up with the villagers, then?

Ellywick: Yeah.

Lazza: Well...yeah.

Credence: And Lazza’s kinda like, she’s holding… She has a pouch around her neck that holds the stones she uses to commune with her ancestors. She’s holding it a little bit, fidgeting with it nervously and is like…

Sophie: I think there’s a chill wind blows as you’re fidgeting with these and trying to make you decision, and you hear some voices that have guided you well in your life that you typically feel rather compelled to follow, and all they say is, “Follow them.”

Mara: I think Ellywick kinda looks up at Lazza and says…

Ellywick: [CHEERFULLY] Come on, Llama!

Lazza: Okay, that’s...that’s fair.

[BURST OF LAUGHTER]

Lazza: Yeah. Okay. Alright. Fuck it, let’s do this!

Sophie: You all quickly make your escape and head down the dark wooded path, and before you catch up with the rest of the villagers, you see a familiar fresh face — and Kenway, as he smiles at you and says…

Kenway: [BEAMING] I knew you all wouldn’t let us down!

Sophie: Credits.

[CHEERING]

Mara: Yay, we did it!

Credence: We did it!

Joe: Yay!

Credence: And I got to decapitate somebody in the first episode!

Joe: Nice!

Mara: I got to use a really awesome spell that I’ve never used before! That was fun!

Credence: Yeah, and like, can you blame Lazza though for freaking the fuck out?

[OUTRO — THEME MUSIC]

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