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#hester spn
ananke-xiii · 3 months
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this is a Emily Holmes (the actor who played Hester in SPN) appreciation post.
She really understood the assignment.
She delivers very few lines, appears in just 1 episode in season 7, ends up dead quite soon, yet she is simply unforgettable.
"The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell, he was lost." is probably one of the best lines in the whole show + one of the most well-acted scenes. Kudos to her, thank you for giving us life!
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t00muchheart · 2 months
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Shoutout to Emily Holmes who played Hester & also Drew Nelson who played the unnamed crossroad demon in I Know What You Did Last Summer because they had such small parts but I think about the lines “the very touch of you corrupts” and “round and round the Winchesters go” REGULARLY
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waywardvamp · 8 months
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"The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell he was lost"
Damn, that was one insane fucking line
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melodyfsoul1 · 12 days
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Supernatural Angel Wings, Hester
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myaimistrue · 1 year
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hester appears only in 7x21 "reading is fundamental" and delivers some of the most iconic destiel-related dialogue of the show as she screams at cas for his actions as god. samandriel, also known as alfie, appears in multiple episodes in season 8 and has since been cast as the little brother in a million supernatural fanfics. who will win?
link to the masterpost
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eunoiastarz · 1 year
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happy fuck him up friday
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Hester: “You have fallen in every way imaginable.”
[...]
Hester: “Why should we give you anything? After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!”
like in what universe are we supposed to not be unhinged about this, this is some Shakespearean, Greek tragedy, Courtly Love-level star-crossed lovers shit, and that’s just the text, we haven’t even started on the subtext
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castiel-kline · 2 years
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gifset of castiel’s garrison but each angel has a different high school yearbook superlative. for example: class clown uriel
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and-stir-the-stars · 2 years
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Love how Hester has "most likely to fight god in a wendy's parking lot" energy. I think upon meeting Chuck, she'd be a bit like Eileen-- it'd take her about .3 seconds to realize that this man is pathetic and she despises everything he stands for, everything he's done to her and the world and everything he wants to do next
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chimerazodiac · 2 years
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I don't know, I just feel like Hester and Rachel would be friends. So would Balthazar and Gabriel.
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izzyaro · 2 years
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Day two of @heaven-ecologist‘s Angelsweek2022, and today’s ficlet is for the prompt ‘Lies’. I hope you like it!
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“You left us.”
Balthazar didn’t even try to defend himself. He couldn’t even meet her gaze. Hester was too incensed to care.
“We thought you were dead. We grieved for you. And all this time…”
Words failed her. A year of thinking her comrade, her friend, her brother dead, and all this time he had been swanning around on Earth, doing whatever he liked, without a thought for anyone else. Without a thought for them, and what his lies had done.
“Well?” she demanded. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
Balthazar finally looked up then. All his usual insouciance had been replaced by the same weariness Hester saw in Castiel’s eyes, in Rachel’s, in her own, and his shoulders slumped under her scrutiny.
“I couldn’t do it any more.”
Hester swallowed the first retort that sprang to mind, and waited. Balthazar sighed. “After Anna and Uriel, and then Cassie… I couldn’t lose anyone else.”
Hester’s chest ached. Losing Ananchel all those years ago had been bad enough, but to get her back and lose her again, and Uriel’s betrayal, and Castiel’s rebellion and death and resurrection…
She could understand. Every death was a wound that would never heal. She understood breaking under the weight of it.
But.
“We lost you.”
Balthazar flinched. Hester glared at him. “We thought you dead,” she repeated. “We lost so much, and then you as well.”
“Hester-”
“We sang for you. We wept.” She stepped forward, hands clenching into fists. “Did you think about us at all? You didn’t tear your Grace out. You could receive revelation, you could hear us fight and grieve and die, and you… You did nothing.” 
Balthazar folded his arms tight across his chest, but not before Hester saw his hands shaking. Hester looked at him, felt his guilt and shame hang heavy in the air, and shook her head.
“Would you ever have come back?”
She appreciated that he took the time to think about it. 
“I don’t know,” he said, after a minute. “I can’t know. But I did miss you.” He swallowed. “I had to leave, but I never wanted to hurt you.”
“But you did,” said Hester.
Balthazar looked away. Hester didn’t. He had known what losing him would do to them, and he had left them anyway.
“I am sorry,” Balthazar whispered.
Hester could feel his sincerity as easily as she could read his vessel’s body language, and despite her best efforts her fury faltered. They had served together for hundreds of millions of years, had saved each other’s lives more times than anyone could remember, and for once, just this once, a brother she had thought lost had returned.
Her vision blurred, and she blinked quickly.
“If you ever do something like that again, then don’t even think about coming back.”
Balthazar blinked, then some of the old light returned to his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, darling. I promise.”
This time he didn’t flinch when Hester stepped forward. Hugging with a physical vessel was nothing like entwining wings and Grace as they had for aeons, but he was a solid warmth in her arms and he was alive and safe and not going anywhere, and Hester felt him relax into her and closed her eyes. 
Forgiveness would take time, but he was alive. They could work with that. 
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monstermoviedean · 2 years
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dean calls cas sunshine in 07x21 and i forgot all about it. that's his. he's. His
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dawittiest · 2 years
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society if rachel/hester/hannah were the same person
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shallowseeker · 8 months
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Cas, the Angel Tablet, and learning to know and trust his own heart, part 1
His weakness is revealed! The angel tablet as a symbol of Cas's understanding of his own heart.
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Part 1 (You are here)
Part 2
Part 3
== What is the angel tablet? ==
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Image by Bkshadows
The angel tablet is one of Heaven's most powerful weapons, and sometimes its physicality serves as just that: a weapon.
Other times, it's a curious motif of the secrets of angels, and their angelic romantic love. As one of three known Words of God, it:
"pertains to the nature of Angels as well as granting unimaginable power to Angels who have a connection with it."
///
== Angels + Love + Disconnection ==
Throughout the series, angels regularly showcase volatile (and sometimes petty) emotions. They grieve each other; they Fall. They shriek. They tremble. We see this in Anna, Uriel, Hester, Lucifer, Anael and many others.
But due to years of brutal beatdown and brainwashing, they're disconnected from their own hearts. They cannot recognize their own feelings. Even when they are displaying Big Emotions or even longing, they repeat the company line:
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Image by MisterRandom2
DEAN: You're some heartless sons of bitches, you know that? CASTIEL: As a matter of fact, we are. And? 4x10: Heaven and Hell
ANNA: Perfect... Like a marble statue. Cold... no choice... only obedience. 4x10: Heaven and Hell
///
== The illegal union with humanity ==
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Image by Mikael
In SPN, angels often connect to their own hearts through their (illegal) living among their human-blended families. In 12x10: Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets, we see that angel-human progeny are outlawed by the oldest laws in Heaven.
///
In season 8, this illegality surrounds Dean and Cas, and this idea of human-angel unity is littered with motifs such as Cupid bows, and Nephilim hearts. It hammers home the image of forbidden romantic love between angels and humans.
Ther clinging to one another is what allowed Dean and Cas to break Chuck's story: "You're not supposed to be here." This union is what allowed them to see and kill the Leviathan, a feat that is supposed to be the domain of God only.
Free will--rebellion--is a team effort. Sam and Dean could not have done it without Cas, and he could not have done it without them. They learned courage from each other, and they borrowed courage from each other, too.
These elements of rebellion swirl in season 8 and have tragic counterparts in season 15.
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Jane the Nephilim (Jack), a love-mark "Cupid's bow" on Cupid's palm (Dean & handprint, symbolic of human love & families), and Castiel's Fallen Angel grace (Cas & The Empty). All elements of angelic-human forbidden love are sacrificed in season 8...as they are in season 15.
A stereotypical arrangement of human-angel motifs goes something like this: The hybrids are killed in front of their parents, to punish them, by witnessing the death of their beloved ones. The fallen angels are then judged by God and cast into dark places. The human lovers linger, as demons to be executed and silenced. It's eerily reminiscent of season 15.
Some believe the fallen angels who sired the Nephilim were cast into Tartarus (2 Peter 2:4, Jude 1:6) (Greek Enoch 20:2), a place of "total darkness."
Floods are the preferred method of torture for the blended, "Nephilim" families: Jack was born on Washaway beach, his birth cabin littered with paintings of the violent sea, and his mother Kelly seemed to recede into the ocean.
As the series progresses, Cas and Dean move from being killed via explosions, Hell hounds, purifying fires, and purifying Purgatory elements...to being overtaken by turbulent waters and summarily executed, as traitors are, with stabs to the back.
Castiel was overtaken by a cosmic sea of black, and Dean was drowned relentlessly by Michael. There is certainly a Flood motif for them in a way there is not for Sam.
///
God wants them to keep to their domains; Heaven and Earth are not to merge.
He tells the angels to keep their Dominion over the humans, as shepherds tend to their sheep. He tells the humans, "submit and obey," and then, if you do, maybe someday, I'll elevate you above the angels. You can be equal to me, if only you grovel and take a knee, of course.
(I promise, I promise.)
///
== Crime and punishment ==
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It's interesting then, that the "Angel Tablet"/Metatron spell was punitive towards angels, causing them to Fall and be cast out. As above, it included sacrificing a Nephilim, stealing a Cupid's love bow (the symbolic taking of a human lover), and sacrificing the grace of a fallen angel.
If Castiel's heart is a blended family, Metatron, like God, cruelly works behind the scenes to clock and punish it. This resulting spell that Metatron devised burns up the wings of the Primary Angels in Heaven, killing many in the process.
Although Metatron aimed his Revenge at the Primary Angels, there's a good chance that this punishment originally existed to be aimed at the human-angel blended families. It seems to predate Lucifer's casting out. Indeed, Apocryphal texts like Enoch 10 shows a sadistic delight in the punitive action of having the Sinful parents watch the deaths of their children:
and they have seen the destruction of their beloved ones, bind them fast for seventy generations in the valleys of the earth, till the day of their judgment and of their consummation, till the judgment that is forever and ever is consummated. In those days they shall be led off to the abyss
(One thing's for sure, it's certainly Metatron's Revenge of the Nerd.)
If indeed the spell can be assembled from the tablet (it's unclear if if was even in there), that Lucifer hid it inside a crypt suggests he couldn't read it, was protecting someone, or may have been on the side of the Nephilim and their Fathers. All are fascinating possibilities.
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== Is the tablet Castiel's heart? ==
In part. It's other things, too.
Like all motifs in SPN, it morphs in and out of being a stand-in for many different things. In episode 8x17 Goodbye Stranger, it stands in for Castiel's career loyalty...and his heart. At flashpoints, it's Dean's heart, too, because their hearts say the same thing.
Samandriel says of Castiel, "Too much heat was always his problem," so I think much of Castiel's dangerous / insurrectionist power lies in his angelic courage to keep trying to Love, even when Heaven tries to wash it clean.
This disrupts Chuck's Story.
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Sure, it makes Cas weaker in some ways, and he'll struggle with that, but it makes him so much stronger, too. More tenacious, more resilient.
I like to think that Chuck slowly starts to become more in competition with Cas, especially as Dean falls more and more in love with him.
"Too stubborn!" Chuck shrieks in 15x17 Unity.
///
== Location, location, location ==
Where do we find Castiel's heart in 8x17 Goodbye Stranger? Meg reveals its location, (just as she knows where Castiel's affections truly lie).
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Image from TheWinchesterFamilyBusiness.com
A CRYPT, A BASEMENT, A WAREHOUSE, AN ORCHARD, A FLOOD
It's in a crypt (typically a stone chamber beneath the floor of a church or mausoleum). It's located beneath an orchard that was washed away by a hundred-year flood, a call forward to the looming unity of Dean and Cas. Again, we see echoes of Nephilim themes, like the cleansing Flood. Like the orchard, Cas's heart went missing.
WENDY RICE: Well, she-- she didn't, but she did mention an -- an old orchard that had gone missing... This -- this town was wiped from the earth by one of the river's 100-year floods. ... I've been working to re-create a map for years as part of my research, and this -- this is the old Jakubiak orchard there. [she points to a section of the map.] I found out yesterday it's where Downey meets Bond Street. 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
The orchard was washed clean, just as Castiel is brainwashed over and over again, losing sight of his own heart. The old site is now covered by a warehouse. There's an intersection of roads: Downey and Bond, like a profound bond. Cas doesn't so much Learn Humanity as he Revives his Own Dean Heart, one that he had all along.
Remember, it is a warehouse where 8x17 cold-opens, where Naomi forces Cas to act out killing Dean. (And ultimately, Dean will die in a warehouse via Metatron's Heavenly war, in season 9.)
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INT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT DEAN comes around the corner in a darkened warehouse, gun drawn. He brings his gun up but it's struck down. He is struck down. CASTIEL appears over him. DEAN: No, Cas. No! [DEAN raises his hand towards CASTIEL, but CASTIEL breaks his wrist, we hear the bone snap. DEAN groans in pain.] ... NAOMI: No hesitation. Quick. Brutal. [NAOMI and CASTIEL stare down at DEAN.] Everything's back in order. [NAOMI smiles at CASTIEL.] Finally. [We see a close-up of CASTIEL, his face expressionless.] You're ready. 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
This warehouse is like Dean himself, and how his love currently manifests, overflowing with a surplus of affection...for Cas. Later, they come to a warehouse to retrieve the tablet.
EXT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE, ALLEY - NIGHT MEG: So, this is it. Basement? DEAN: All right, Cas and I will head in and get our Indiana Jones on. Sam, you stay outside with Meg. 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
Once inside, they reach a wall, and Castiel cracks it, letting Dean inside where his heart resides.
CASTIEL: I don't know. Wait. [They're walking through a darkened corridor when CASTIEL stops, feels the cement wall.] There's a draft. There's something behind there. Stand back. [Hand against the wall, energy flows through his hand, the wall cracks.] 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
8x17: GOODBYE STRANGER
So, we have old orchard motif (Cas's love without Heaven's interference; Dean is himself a new "valley")
Flood (Divine punishment)
A broken wrist (Punishment, for continuing to reach for each other despite all the barriers keeping them apart)
Warehouse (Dean loves Cas; it's where the love is stored, like the kitchen; Heaven wants to keep it impersonal and distant)
then a journey DOWN a basement
through a wall, and into a crypt, where Cas's stone-cold, dead heart awaits.
There's also a nod to Indiana Jones, which brings to mind 4x22: Lucifer Rising, a cherished callback to one of the first moments that Cas captivated Dean, and one of the first times they messed up Chuck's story. "We're making it up as we go."
Here in the crypt is where Dean will share his secret truth and shatter the stone barricade around Cas's heart, setting it free.
(It flies away.)
15x18: DESPAIR
This is a mate scene to 15x18: Despair, which features a library motif (Cas breaks the narrative, just as his grace was hidden in a book and blew out the pages of the story)
Death (Mortalpunishment)
A heart attack (punishment for Dean's love)
Bunker (Cas protects Dean, his love is stored in his tenacious, sometimes misguided protection)
then a journey DOWN to the archive room
where Cas erects a "barricade" to protect Dean, with warding
but they are pushed back into a dungeon, where Dean's heart is entrapped (Devil's trap)
The shackles are a nod to Dean's time in Hell, one of the first moments that Dean met Cas.
Here in the dungeon, Cas will share his secret truth and throw Dean out of the entrapment. Cas sets it free.
Dean wears his heart on his sleeve.
(It's bleeding.)
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== Castiel's unknowable heart ==
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When they find the tablet, Naomi tells Cas to leave and to tell the Winchester that the crypt is Empty, just like Heaven tells its angels that they're heartless.
Naomi doesn't want Dean to touch it. Cas rationalizes that Dean can and should open it, and it's a logical move, too, since it's warded against angels. Angels, after all, are cursed by God not to connect to their own hearts.
In the crypt, everything is covered with dust, spider webs. Close-up of CASTIEL's face. CASTIEL (breathes): I found it. ... CASTIEL: Dean... [POV switches back to the crypt. CASTIEL points towards an item on a shelf against the wall.] That's it. [DEAN shines his flashlight on a carved, wooden chest.] DEAN: How do you know? CASTIEL: It's the only thing in here warded against angels. [DEAN picks up the heavy object and places it on the table in front of CASTIEL. DEAN picks up a small dagger, and pries open the lid. He reaches in and lifts out a rather large block of stone.] DEAN: Winner, winner, chicken dinner. CASTIEL: Good. Hand it to me, and I'll take it to heaven. DEAN: No, we will take it to Kevin so he can translate. [DEAN holds the block of stone using both hands.] 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
Cas wants to hand his stone-cold heart to Heaven to use as a weapon. Heaven doesn't want angel hearts to belong to angels. They must belong to heaven. But Dean wants to understand it, like he wants to understand and translate Cas.
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== Castiel will hurt Dean ==
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Image by Winchester-GIFs
Cas angels up. Thunder and lightning. A storm.
CASTIEL: I won't hurt Dean. NAOMI: Yes. You will. You are. 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
It's a tragic callback to Castiel's season 7 PTSD!ridden lamentation, that he (or Heaven) is going to hurt Dean and he doesn't want to:
CASTIEL: I can't help. You understand? I can't. I destroyed... everything, and I will destroy everything again. Can we please just leave it at that? 7x23: Survival of the Fittest
Castiel's heart is brutal, angelic, and pragmatic. Angels are destroyers. Angels hurt humans, and humans hurt angels. Castiel's heart will hurt Dean. If they give their hearts to each other, if they ally with one another, it's as he said in 4x22: "We'll all be hunted down and killed."
And he's not human. In season 6, Cas started his drawn-out repetition of this: "I'm not human." And he keeps right on emphasizing this, despairing, in season 8, "I don't think it will work for me. I'm not human."
I'm not like you. I'll hurt you. (I'll destroy everything.)
If Dean thinks he's poison, a blunt instrument, then Cas is war personified, a sharpened blade. He'll break what he touches, and even when he breaks, he'll be sharp like glass. Certainly not something you can hold onto.
("War is what Michael does." It's what angels do.)
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== Be honest with me (I love you) ==
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Dean pleads with a suddenly dangerous-looking Cas:
INT. BASEMENT, CRYPT - NIGHT DEAN: Just tell me how you got out of Purgatory. Be honest with me -- for the first time since you've been back -- [DEAN nods towards the stone he's still holding] and this is yours. [CASTIEL's blade drops into his hand.]" 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
Be honest with me and this is yours.
Now the tablet is symbolic of Dean's love, too, taunting the possibility that, "Be honest with me, and (my heart) is yours."
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This is the crux of what Dean has been dealing with since season 6. He finally understands his own oversized reactions and defensive barbs. Season 7 brought a crash of unrelenting grief, followed by a slow understanding.
The Turducken revealed that a large part of Dean's issues in that season were about "Cas and the black goo." It hit Dean so hard. It caused Dean to "go through the motions," to "not be the same Dean," to be like "one of the dead hunters walking." Feeling for Cas is different for Dean, and Dean's trying to figure out why:
DEAN: Honestly, I-I-I don't know if he is dead. I just know that this... whole thing couldn't be messier. You know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... I always could. What Cas did... I just can't – I don't know why. EMMANUEL/CASTIEL: Well, it doesn't matter why. DEAN: Of course it matters. 7x17: The Born-Again Identity
Of course it matters. it's Dean's feelings! It's Dean trying to sort out why everything with Cas feels so Big. Why Cas matters so much. Why Dean kept the coat. Why he missed him so much. Dean was puzzling it over and trying to figure it out all this time.
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== The coat + Take it. Please. ==
Dean's deeper feelings start to become apparent in the coat scene. Dean tenderly folds the coat, cradles it to his chest, and drags it from car to car. He mouths along the words to "All Out of Love (I'm so lost without you)."
Then, he meets Cas again, and he returns it, a symbol of their longing and their mutual caring (they care about the same things):
DEAN: Wait. DEAN opens the trunk of the car and takes out CASTIEL’s trenchcoat. Somber, he holds it out to CASTIEL. 7x17: The Born-Again Identity
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The meaning is even more potent in the scripted version of the scene:
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He goes to the car trunk. Digs... Comes up with Cas's folded, stained COAT. DEAN: Dumb to keep. I know. I saw you-- dissolve or whatever. But, just in case. 'Cause I never stopped wanting to fix it either. So we got something in common. (re: the coat) Just-- take it. Please. 7x17: The Born-Again Identity
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This "just take it, please," line is just so desperate. It sounds dangerously close to "giving away your heart." Please.
Take it. Please. Be honest with me and this is yours.
It's freely given. It's not Destiny or Fate. It's the Rebellion of Free Will.
///
== Dean defends himself against the onslaught ==
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Though Castiel's "heart" is encased in stone, it is this stone that is protecting Dean from Cas-as-Heaven's war hammer. (This tablet was not present to protect Naomi's Dean-doppelgangers.)
Dean is protecting himself from the blows, and yet...he keeps trying to reach for Cas.
He puts a (reciprocal) hand on Cas's shoulder, a callback to Castiel's handprint/influence/connection to Dean. It is simply a bond. The love isn't cosmic Fate. It's simply two people, reaching for each other. Their hands often reach for the left shoulder, for the direct line to the other's heart.
CASTIEL attacks, DEAN blocks the blow with the stone.] Cas! [Flashes of light, thunder rumbles.] ...  [CASTIEL strikes again, DEAN again uses the stone to block the blow. Thunder rumbles.] ... DEAN: Cas! [DEAN puts his hand on CASTIEL's shoulder. CASTIEL backhands DEAN who is thrown into a wall and falls to the floor.] 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
The storm is the sound of Castiel's heart, rebelling. Thunderous. It's not dead. It's not dead. (It's not as Dean thought in 4x22: "You soulless son of a bitch. You're already dead. We're done." Cas's heart is alive.)
CASTIEL is attacking DEAN. DEAN throws a punch, CASTIEL grabs his forearm and breaks it. We hear the bone snap, DEAN drops the stone, it shatters, revealing the tablet that was encased within. Lightning flashes. 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
Cas hurts Dean, and as Dean is forced to let go, the stone casing protecting the Angel Tablet (Castiel's heart) shatters.
CASTIEL is beating DEAN. DEAN's face is bruised and bloodied. DEAN: You want it? [CASTIEL looks dispassionately at the now exposed tablet.] Take it! But you're gonna have to kill me first. Come on, you coward. Do it. Do it! [CASTIEL continues to beat DEAN.] 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
Dean is talking to Heaven here, to Naomi. He's saying to her, you have to kill ME in order to kill this connection between me and Cas as we are right now. After all, Dean wouldn't leave him in Purgatory. He's goading Heaven that he won't let go. Dean knows his own heart now.
He keeps reaching for Cas, even though Cas let go of his hand and has in fact broke the wrist of the very hand that had clung to him so tightly in Purgatory.
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DEAN: Ohh! [DEAN, seriously beaten and bloody, now has one eye swollen shut.] Cas. Cas. [Weakly, reaching towards CASTIEL.] I know you're in there. [CASTIEL raises his angel blade, ready to strike.] I know you can hear me. Cas... [DEAN's voice breaks, pleading.] It's me. [CASTIEL stands there, blade at the ready, light glints off the blade.] We're family. We need you. I need you. 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
///
The script emphasizes Dean, barely hanging on:
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From above: CRYPT - NIGHT. Dean is barely hanging on now. Beaten. Swollen. Bloody. DEAN: I know you're in there. I know you are. I forgive, you Cas... (then) ....I love you. Cas looks at Dean. As if hearing him for the first time. 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
This situation is no longer as simple as pleading for honesty and equal partnership:
Be honest with me, and this is yours.
It has become more desperate, unconditional, raw:
I forgive you. I love you regardless. (I need you anyway. Even if you're broken. We're family. We'll be broken together. "Do I look like good luck to you?" I'm broken, too.)
///
== The connection to Heaven breaks! ==
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Cas rears back, stunned. In the script, it's written, "as if hearing him for the first time." He drops the blade. After all he's been through, the arrogance of being a petty God, the disparaging of human family as ants and pets, the partial penance of Purgatory, and now the unholy analgesic of Heaven's mission, Cas's heart is finally open.
Cas feels...something. It's loud. Thunder and lightning. It's alive.
He lets go of Dean, reaches down to grasp the tablet, and it flashes a bright light that blinds Naomi and hides him from her gaze. I think of how Cas's out-of-bounds nature hides him from demigods, like Noah the gorgon (season 14), and how Chuck cannot seem to predict him.
Castiel's love is a Wild Card.
CASTIEL is holding the angel tablet, standing over DEAN. DEAN: Cas? [Breathing heavily, he's horribly beaten. ] Cas? [CASTIEL reaches his hand towards DEAN. He wails, in a panic, thinking Cas is about to smite him:] No. Cas. Cas! [CASTIEL places his hand on the side of DEAN's head, DEAN gasps, and is suddenly healed.] CAS: I'm so sorry, Dean. 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
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== What broke the connection? (I love you) ==
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DEAN (wonderingly): Well, w-what broke the connection? CASTIEL: I don't know. DEAN looks HORRIFIED:
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Image by @xofemeraldstars
Dean's not stupid.
He knows what he just said to Cas, and he knows what he himself meant. Dean's figured himself out. In asking, "What broke the connection," he's fishing. It's as good as asking, "What about your feelings." He's been wanting to know Castiel's unknowable heart, and Cas hits him with this light rejection. Is Cas lying to him again, or does he really not- ? Dean thinks he must've misunderstood. Badly.
But the thing is, Cas isn't playing. The tablet, like his heart, is free, but like the tablet, but Castiel can't fully "read" it yet. He's got too much heart, and plenty of emotions, but after billions of years of military servitude, he can't recognize his own feelings or parse them.
(Of course, Dean doesn't know that.)
CAS: I just know that I have to protect this tablet now. DEAN: From Naomi? CASTIEL: Yes. And from you. DEAN: From me? What are you talking about? [CASTIEL and the tablet are suddenly gone, the sound rumbles through the crypt.] Cas? Cas! Damn it. 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
///
== Cas flees ==
Fresh off yet another bout of Heavenly brainwashing and torture, Cas needs to flee and figure out how to handle his own heart.
It's no wonder he's spun out. The last few years:
In season 4, he was murdered by Raphael after billions of years of military servitude.
This Raphael-wound led to bitterness and shame, and Cas shouldered a war all by himself in season 6.
(He didn't even trust his comrades to know his Purgatory-eating plans, and he didn't trust them enough to share the burden of that power, either).
In season 7, he became a megalomaniac and family annihilator.
In season 8, he turned to self-punishment/penance/suicide.
He pledged to suffer as penance, and he did not reach for Dean any sort of happiness.
He did not allow himself to go home.
But even so, Heaven still wouldn't let him rest, and they retrieved him for more work.
After all that, he's been hit with this barrage of emotion, and he doesn't understand it or how he feels about it. So, he protects. Withdraws. Flees.
He needs more time to sort himself out.
///
==Dean is hurt in that prickly, embarrassed sort of way==
Dean is mega-hurt.
Because on his part, it was, in essence, a love confession. Naomi's later dialogue is written with this "love confession" in mind:
NAOMI: "I only wish he felt the same way."
And in 8x18 Freaks and Geeks, when Sam asks if Dean is okay, it's Dean who brings up his feelings. "Cas dinged you up pretty good. Are you okay?" Dean bristles -> "What, like my feelings?"
So, not only does Cas not love him, but he doesn't even trust him. Dean clung to him so hard, and Cas let him go again. (The timing is so tragically wrong, as usual.)
SAM: So... what happened? I mean, Cas touched the tablet, and it reset him to his factory settings or something? DEAN: I don't know. And I don't care. All I know is that he is off the reservation with a-a heavenly WMD. Listen, man, I can't take any more lies -- from anyone. 8x17: Goodbye Stranger
The song is revealing, really:
♪ tried to see your point of view ♪ ♪ hope your dreams will all come true ♪
♪ will we ever meet again? ♪ ♪ Feel no sorrow, feel no shame ♪ ♪ come tomorrow, feel no pain ♪ ♪ sweet devotion ♪ it's not for me ♪ ♪ just give me motion ♪ ♪ and set me free ♪
I flash-forward to Hannah in season 10, to that instinctive recoil from human emotions:
HANNAH: But t-those are human things. (10x01 Black) ... HANNAH: These f-feelings, they aren't for me, for us. (10x07 Girls, Girls, Girls)
I wonder.
///
(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)
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shallowrambles · 11 months
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I still think that IF Cas happens to show up in SPNwin, he needs to be (a) full villain/worst self for SPN prime-contrast or (b) child-coded, like, literally inside the child soldier/child vessel/toddler, because that's got a lot of moral implications and keeps him visually in line with TFW.
But NGL, I'd rather keep him to SPN prime, unless it's *our* Cas appearing for one reason or other. I think there are other angels you can show free will with, from Uriel to Hester to Anna. And IF Anna, appeared, I'd rather see her journey center primarily around Samuel & Deanna and needing human parents. Because that was her main issue.
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eunoiastarz · 1 year
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end game megstiel where meg lives up in heaven with cas is sooooooooo…… like how do hester and inias even begin to understand how to feel about that.
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