#heswriterangstfest | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imaginationintowords · 3 years

Text

Home Is Where the Heart Is

Harry Styles x Famous!Reader

[a/n: this is my submission to the @hes-writer angst fest. This is my first time ever doing anything like this. My prompt is “I want to come home to you.”//“But?” I hope you guys enjoy this! I worked my hardest on this and I really like how it came out. Also remember this is all fiction, no hate to any parties mentioned below.]

Plot: Harry is away from reader and their daughter. They haven’t heard from him in two weeks, the reader is trying her best to keep her daughter’s hopes alive, but it’s getting harder.

Word count: 5232

Warnings: angst, very angsty, mentions of abortion, infidelity

*there will not be a part two. If you have any questions feel free to send them to my ask and I’ll answer any questions you have*

[Y/N] was sat in her living room going over her script for tomorrow’s shoot. She looked over on the ground where her daughter, the perfect mixture of herself and her boyfriend, sat playing with her toys peacefully.

[Y/N]’s heart swelled at the sight. She never feels as content as she does in these little moments. As mundane as they may be, the 3 year-old was her entire world.

“Momma,” Penelope spoke out, her accent leaning more towards like her father’s.

[Y/N] was originally from California, coincidentally that’s where she and Harry met six years ago in 2014 at a mutual friend’s birthday party. At the time [Y/N] was reeling in from her excitement from winning her first Academy Award. She was the new “it” girl of Hollywood and everyone took notice.

Harry would lie if asked if he was nervous the first time he met her. He was incredibly nervous, that their first introduction had him accidentally spilling his drink on her shirt. He was embarrassed as he profusely apologized while [Y/N] laughed it off and reassured him that it was nothing.

When Harry looked up to meet her eyes for the first time he was completely hooked. At that moment the only thing he wanted to do was get to know her. He wanted to know every single thing about her. Was she a morning or night person? How’d she take her coffee? What’s her favorite song? Favorite movie? Was she a cat or dog person? How was her family like? What did she like to do in her free time? He wanted to know it all.

And that he did.

And just like Harry, [Y/N] was also hooked. She had been a fan of Harry’s for awhile and now standing in front of him, she got what every one said about him. She got this overwhelming feeling that Harry could wreck her whole life, and she would gladly let him.

So she did.

They exchanged numbers that night and talked every day since it took them almost a year to become official. Both of their schedules had kept them in different parts of the world. Two years into their relationship [Y/N] got pregnant. Her birth control failed her.

[Y/N] was nervous at first to tell Harry. She herself was having difficulties coming to grips with the pregnancy. They were both only 23 years-old. She could barely take care of herself, how would she be able to take care of a baby. She thought about all of the projects she had lined up for the next year, no doubt she’d have to drop out of some.

She felt guilty being consumed with selfish thoughts. How could she feel this way when having a child is all some people ever dreamt about.

She pondered over the thought of not telling Harry and taking care of the situation by herself. The thought of keeping something that big a secret made her absolutely sick.

Not that she wasn’t pro-choice, she just couldn’t bare living with that secret. At least not from Harry.

Whatever choice she made she knew he would support her the entire way.

When it finally came time to tell Harry, she couldn’t miss the sparkle in his eyes.

*flashback*

“You’re pregnant?” He asked, trying to contain his excitement, seeing the way [Y/N] was emotional when telling him.

“Yeah,” she sniffled, as tears ran down her face.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried out.

Harry immediately took her in his arms and held on tightly.

“Don’t you apologize,” he soothed her, “Don’t you ever apologize. This isn’t your fault. You have nothing to apologize for.”

His words should’ve been comforting, but all [Y/N] felt was pure guilt over the way she was feeling. She couldn’t help but to cry even more.

“Hey it’s okay,” he tried to soothe her, “Whatever you want to do, I’ll support you. No questions asked.”

[Y/N] cried even harder. Harry was so understanding. She knew he would be.

“I don’t know what I want to do,” she cried.

“That’s okay,” he says, “there’s no need to decide it right now. You have time.”

“If I do decide to go with the abortion, will you hate me?”

“No, of course not,” he assures her, “I’ll support you no matter what you decide. You are more important to me than anything.”

“You won’t be upset if I decide to keep it?” She carefully asks.

“No of course not,” he says, “I don’t want to tell you exactly my feelings on all of this because I don’t want to sway you into making a decision based on what I want. Because you’re going to have to want it too. You can’t make the choice based on what I want because you want to make me happy. I’ll be happy either way because I just want to be with you, so please don’t make a choice because you think that’s what I want. I only want you.”

[Y/N] took a moment to let Harry’s words sink in. She thought about what she actually wanted. Not what she was expected to do.

She took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Okay,” she calmly said, the tears coming to a halt.

“Okay?”

“I want to keep the baby,” she looks him in the eyes.

“You do?” Harry confirms, trying to keep his excitement at bay.

“Yeah, I really do,” she nods her head, “I know we’re still kind of young, but I want to do this. And if you’d like, I’d love to do this with you.”

Harry’s face broke out into a gigantic grin, his eyes tearing up.

“Oh [Y/N], there isn’t anything I want to do more than have a baby with you,” he smiled, grabbing her face and kissing her. Both crying tears of joy.

*end of flashback*

Once they decided on keeping the baby [Y/N] took it as perfect opportunity to move out of LA. She had loved London since her first visit there, and up until dating Harry she never had a reason to move there. But now that she was pregnant she was ready to move. As much as LA and California were home, over the course of the last few years she started to feel suffocated by it. Sure all her family lived there, but she really only saw them during the holidays and special occasions, now that everyone was busy with their own lives and families. And she could always visit and fly them out whenever they wanted to come. Harry was secretly happy she decided to move to London, as LA was becoming suffocating for him as well.

They had both decided to keep the LA house [Y/N] had for whenever they visited or had work in town. And [Y/N] would move into Harry’s newly renovated house in London. Harry told her he had designed a great portion of it with her in mind and their future family, long before she got pregnant.

And in the month of September of 2017, Harry and [Y/N] welcomed a beautiful baby girl. Naming her Penelope Amelia Styles. She was the perfect combination of both.

The new parents had agreed that they would never work at the same time. Not wanting Penelope to be without a parent home at the end of the night. They wanted to be the ones to raise their daughter like how their parents raised them. Being present was extremely important. If they ever needed a babysitter they would call family or close friends. They were very adamant about not having a nanny for as long as they could.

It was easier when Penelope was a baby to take her wherever they went. But as she got older they decided traveling around would have to be saved for holidays and summer vacations. Especially since she turned three this year and she had started primary school.

With Penelope in school for a few hours a day, it gave Harry and [Y/N] more free time during the day. Harry could pop into the studio for a few hours and pick up Penelope on his way home while [Y/N] was on set working. Or vice versa.

The challenge came when Harry got a movie offer that took him out of the country. [Y/N] and Harry and tried to keep the out of country movies to only the summertime once Penny started school. It was easier for [Y/N] to get London as the filming location into her contracts as she was one of the most sought out movie stars and studios would gladly take that exception. With Harry it wasn’t so easy, sure he was a big name in the music world, but even Harry Styles couldn’t negotiate that.

So for the first time since Penny was born, they were separated. Harry was in LA without his family. He had already been there for two months. [Y/N] and Penny were due to fly out in two weeks, just in time for Christmas.

Harry had promised to call every single day, and he did for the first month and a half. Penny and [Y/N] were going on two weeks without a single phone call.

Every time [Y/N] would text Harry to figure out a time, he would respond back with a ‘I’m busy’ text. [Y/N] couldn’t help but start to feel annoyed by that reply. Harry had never been so absent. Not during Penelope’s life and not throughout his and [Y/N]’s relationship. He had always made time, no matter what he was doing or how tired he was. He would always make time for ‘his girls’.

[Y/N] had also noticed the little subtle mood changes Penelope was going through because she missed her dad. Harry was one of, if not her most favorite person in the world. They had such an incredibly beautiful bond, that [Y/N] cherished it, she didn’t have that relationship with her own father. She made sure to do everything in her power to make sure their daughter-father bond was strong. But there’s only so many times she can tell Penelope that Harry’s busy before she loses hope. [Y/N] tried her best to assure Penny that her father would call once he has time. She would take Penny out spending most days out of the house to keep her distracted and thoughts away from missing her father. But once they would get back home she would be instantly hit with the reality he wasn’t home.

[Y/N] checked her phone, she had a couple of messages, but none from Harry. She sighed and tossed her phone back on the couch.

“Okay Penny, love,” she says, standing up and stretching her arms and legs, “time for bed.”

“Okay momma,” she smiled, getting up and grabbing her mother’s hand.

“Momma,” she says as they walk upstairs to her room.

“Yes love?”

“I think I know what I want to ask Santa for Christmas when we see him tomorrow.”

“Oh really, what would that be?”

“For Daddy to come home,” she says.

“Oh,” [Y/N] didn’t know what to say to that.

If this was a month ago, [Y/N] would’ve been more confident in answering. They were supposed to fly out in a week but she hasn’t heard from him, so now her insecurities are sinking in.

“I miss him very much,” Penelope sadly sighs.

“Me too,” [Y/N] sighs, “me too.”

“Do you think Santa can bring Daddy?” She asks, going into her room.

“I don’t know,” she honestly tells her, walking over to her dresser to get some pajamas.

“If anyone can do it Santa can,” Penny confidently says.

“We shall see,” [Y/N] gives her daughter a tight smile, “let's get ready for bed.

After [Y/N] got Penny asleep, she went back down to clean up the living room. As she was cleaning up, her phone started to vibrate on the couch. She picked it up to see she had a few photo messages from a friend.

She opened the messages to see that they were photos. And not just any photos but photos of Harry.

Harry was playing with children in a couple of them. Then the next couple of photos made [Y/N]’s blood boil.

It was the next few photos that really set it off for her. Harry was sitting on a couch, very close to his director Olivia Wilde, her arm draped around Harry’s back, while her kids were sat on their laps. Harry was looking at Olivia, [Y/N] was all too familiar with that look. It was the way Harry would look at her.

She was sick to her stomach. Here she was at home trying to keep their daughter’s hopes up that her father will make time for her. All while he’s playing house. She set aside her own feelings and about what else he might be doing with his director aside from working.

At that moment she only cared about her daughter’s feelings, and she didn’t care who the person was, no one will make her daughter feel the way Harry has been making her feel for the last couple of weeks.

She did the only thing she could think of to do. She texted Harry the photos with the caption, “nice to know you’re not too busy for someone else’s family.”

Within seconds her phone was ringing.

“So now he calls,” she answers the phone.

“Please [Y/N] can I speak to Penny?” He says, ignoring her remark.

“It’s 9pm here Harry. You know she’s asleep by 8. At least you used to know that.”

“I didn’t call to argue with you,” he sighs.

“Are you serious right now Harry? We haven’t spoken in two weeks and you expect a warm happy greeting?”

“I’ve been busy,” he lies.

“Bullshit. No matter how busy you’ve ever been, you always made sure to call or FaceTime before bed time. You always made the time. Always,” she tells him.

“I’ve had to make countless, countless excuses to Penny for you. Do you know how badly she misses you. You’re her favorite person in this entire world, and you just dropped her like it’s nothing like it’s so easy.”

“Don’t,” he stressed, “I love my daughter more than anything in this world. I’m working to provide the best for her. Do you think I like being away?”

“Yes, I think you do,” she answers, “A month ago that thought wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. You would’ve flown a whole day just to spend a couple of hours at home. But now? You can’t even spare a few minutes on a phone call.

“And the provider's excuse is such a bullshit answer. You and I both know if we chose to walk away from our careers we would be financially stable. Money isn’t an issue, so please don’t act like it is, unless you suddenly got into gambling or bad investments, which we also both know you’re extremely careful with your money and planning for the future.”

“So what do you expect me to do [Y/N]? I’ve been busy, and whenever I get out of work, you guys are already asleep,” he tries to defend himself.

“Don’t you dare try to lie to me right now,” she stresses, “Not when I just saw those photos. Really Harry? Your daughter misses you like crazy, and you’re over there playing house with someone else.”

“It’s not like that,” he says.

“Don’t lie to me,” she says, “How can you just lie to me? I’ve seen the photos. You know I’ve seen the photos.”

“Who sent you those photos?” He asked.

“Does it even matter?” She asked, completely baffled by his lack of a reaction, “You should care about the fact that your daughter has been asking about you for the last two weeks. Tonight she told me that she was going to ask Santa to bring you back home. I didn’t even know what to tell her when she asked if I thought it would happen, because to be honest Harry, I don’t know if it will.”

“I want to come home to you,” he pauses

“But?” She questions, feeling her heart drop a bit.

Harry remained quiet.

“Harry?” She quietly calls for him.

Harry never planned for this to happen. Two months ago he was dreading leaving [Y/N] and Penny behind. He felt sick at the thought of not being with them for so long.

Then about three weeks ago there was a sudden shift. He can’t explain why or how things happened, all he knows is that he can’t take it back now that he’s done it.

Harry loved [Y/N] more than anything. Or at least he used to. She was his whole world. He never thought he could ever feel that way about anyone else, especially not after she gave birth to his daughter. Growing up he hated the fact that his parents weren’t together and he had to spend every week hopping from one house to another, and as he got older his father was less around. He had promised himself that he would never be that person, especially after [Y/N] got pregnant and decided to keep the baby, he swore to himself that he would be everything he wanted as a kid growing up.

He never imagined himself to ever leave [Y/N], he truly loved her and had envisioned their lives together the moment he saw her. He never expected things to turn out the way they did. He never planned to fall in love with someone else.

But he did.

And he can’t take back what he’s already done. The last two weeks he has been living with the guilt of it all. The reason he hasn’t spoken to [Y/N] or Penelope was because he was guilty. Guilty that he had fallen in love with another one, and not just that but fell in love with her children. His guilt consumed him of being an absent father to his own daughter, that he spent all his free time being a father to someone else’s children.

He hated himself for becoming the father he never wanted to be.

He loved Penelope more than anything in this world. And he knows he was causing her pain by not being there, and not calling her. He knows no one is to blame but himself. So instead of being a man and owning up to his changed feelings and being honest to [Y/N], he hid.

He hid for as long as he could. And he knew he was playing a dangerous game with Olivia. News was bound to come out about their affair, especially when his co-workers knew [Y/N] very well. He knew that if it came down to it, their loyalty would stand with her, and not him. But like the idiot he is, he just brushed it aside. He’s surprised it took this long for news to even get to her. Judging by the photos she sent him, he’s not even sure she truly knows what he’s been doing. He knew [Y/N] wasn’t a dumb person and she had to know there was a bit more to those photos than just close friends.

“Harry,” her voice strained, he could hear the raw emotion coming from her voice, “Can you please say something.”

“I’m so sorry [Y/N],” he cries out, all the guilt washing over him and pouring out.

“What are you sorry about?” She asks.

“You know.”

“No, I don’t,” she presses, “If you’re going to apologize at least have the fucking decency and apologize for what you’ve done. For what you’ve put us through back here the last two weeks. I- no we deserve the fucking truth.”

“I’m so sorry [Y/N],” he repeats, “I should’ve called. I should’ve answered all the calls. I should’ve been honest from the beginning. I shouldn’t have ran and hid. I shouldn’t have expected you not to find out.”

“Find out what Harry,” she says, trying to hold back her tears, “You don’t get to be vague about it all. You owe me the goddamn truth. I don’t want this cookie cutter shit, I deserve the truth. You owe me as much as that.”

“I never meant to do this,” he cries, reality sinking in now that he has to come clean, “I never meant for this to happen.”

“Just say it Harry,” [Y/N] yelled through the phone, her patience with Harry officially gone.

“I’ve been having an affair with Olivia,” he sobs, “I’ve been having an affair for almost a month now.”

[Y/N] broke down at his confession. She wasn’t dumb, she knew that he was. But it still doesn’t hurt any less.

This was the man that had proclaimed to her that she was the love of his life. All those nights in bed with him telling her all about the future plans he had made for their little family. How just right before he left he brought up the topic of them having another baby. How could the man she’s on the phone with now confessing his infidelities, be the same man who had claimed he would never hurt her and that she was his entire future. How could this even be the same person?

“I am so sorry,” he cried.

“Stop saying that,” she cried out, “Stop fucking saying that as if it’s going to make it any better. As if it’s going to hurt any less. Jesus fucking Christ Harry, we have a daughter together! A daughter who hasn’t spoken to her father in weeks, all because he had found himself a new family to take care of.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true,” she shrugged her shoulders, “You were off being someone else’s partner, playing someone else’s father, all while you knew you were secretly breaking the hearts of your real family. Breaking the heart of your own daughter!

“What happened to the person who told me he would never do this? Who said he would never abandon his daughter. That nothing in this world meant more to him than his ‘girls’? Huh? Were those just words you spewed?”

“You don’t know how hard it was for me out here,” he raised his voice trying to defend himself, “I didn’t have anyone. I didn’t have you guys with me! It was fucking lonely.”

“Then you know what you do when you’re lonely Harry?” She yells, “You pick up the goddamn phone and call home and talk to the people you miss. You don’t go out looking for a new family! You don’t just leave the ones you’ve had before, all because they’re not there. You don’t abandon them because you’re lonely. We were here. We were here the whole time, waiting for YOU.

“You don’t think we’re lonely? You don’t think that we miss you? You don’t think that every goddamn night I have to explain to our three year old why you haven’t called. You don’t think she doesn’t cry because she misses you? I’ve spent the last two weeks making up excuses for you. Telling her that ‘daddy is just busy’, and that ‘daddy will call when he has time’. I’ve been the one to tell her that ‘daddy still loves her more than anything’. I’ve been the one doing that. I’m the one who’s been here with her counting down the days til we can see you again.

“And you couldn’t even wait the two and a half months it would’ve taken for us to be together again. You couldn’t even wait two months,” she shakes her head, repulsed by it all, “You couldn’t even last two months away from home, before you went off being in someone else’s bed with someone else’s family.”

“You made it look so easy to replace us,” she cried, feeling so hurt, “Now I have to be the one to tell our daughter why mommy and daddy aren’t together. I have to be the one to break the news to her. I have to be the one to tell her why daddy is with someone else.”

“You don’t have to tell her that,” he quickly cuts in.

“What I’m I supposed to tell her when we fly in for Christmas and you’re not living in the house?”

“Wait, you guys are still going to fly out?”

“Yes, that was always the plan, but I’m assuming you forgot about all that when making holiday plans with your new family,” she harshly says.

“That’s not why,” he defends himself.

“I already made plans with my family who are excited to see us,” she says, “I’m not going to cancel because you couldn’t be loyal.”

“Maybe we can wait two weeks and tell Penelope together?” He suggested.

“What makes you think the news of your affair won’t be out by then?” She challenges.

“No one has found out yet,” he carefully says.

[Y/N] let out an angry bitter laugh.

“You’re fucking kidding me right?” She asks in complete disbelief, “You don’t think these photos won’t be everywhere soon? You were out in a public area being very affectionate with her, and you don’t think news won’t spread. You weren’t careful Harry, and that’s on you. I am not allowing MY daughter to find out this news anywhere else but from me.

“I am going to tell her the truth in the best way a three year old could understand,” she says, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she doesn’t think any negatively about you, you’re bound to get that enough from everyone else.”

“Maybe we can tell her together?” He suggests.

“Okay,” she agrees, “After we get back from seeing Santa tomorrow, I’ll Facetime you and we can tell her together.”

“You can’t do that, it’ll ruin the day,” he says.

“I can’t risk her finding out any other way Harry,” [Y/N] says, “Trust me the last thing I want to do is tell her that we won’t be a family anymore. But I can’t risk her finding out from anyone else. I won’t have her finding out from anyone else. I will not have that.”

“I can’t do it tomorrow, I have to be on set,” he says.

“You can cancel. I’m sure your boss will understand why,” she bitterly says, “You owe it to your daughter.”

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

“Good,” she pauses, “and Harry, your things better be out of the LA house by the time we fly in. I don’t want you in MY house.”

“What about Penelope?”

“We will explain to her tomorrow, that mommy and daddy still love her very much. That no matter what she is our main priority like she has always been. But mommy and daddy won’t be living together any more. That just because mommy and daddy aren’t in love with each other anymore,” [Y/N]’s voice cracks at that statement, she takes a deep breath, trying not to break down, knowing that her love for Harry is still very much there.

Harry bit on his upper lip to keep himself from breaking down even more at that moment. Knowing he’s the cause for breaking [Y/N]’s heart, that he might not be in love with her anymore, but she still is in love with him.

“That just because mommy and daddy aren’t in love with each other anymore,” she continues after collecting herself, “that we still love her very much. But because we aren’t in love anymore we won’t be living together anymore. But she’ll still get to see you every other week.”

“Really?” He asks, surprised she would consider giving him 50/50 custody.

“I won’t have you be an absent father Harry,” she says, “You will be a part of her life, just as much as I am. You don’t get to be an every other weekend father. You will be just as involved as you were before you left. Hell you’ll be more involved now that you’re going to be doing it solo.

“I will not have my daughter growing up without her father. She deserves your love, Harry. She deserves your love more than anyone in this entire world. And I Swear to god, if she doesn’t get that love, I will destroy you myself. Because that little girl doesn’t deserve this. And you will spend the rest of your life knowing that you have caused her this, and spend the rest of your life making it up to her.

“You don’t get to mess up Harry,” she continues, “This was your mess up, and this was it. If you fuck up once more that has your daughter believing you don’t love her, I will bring the wrath. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand,” he agrees, “I will never go silent on her again. I promise you that.”

“Your promises mean shit to me,” [Y/N] bitterly says.

Harry knows he deserves every ounce of anger he’s getting from [Y/N]. He’s made his bed and now he has to sleep in it. He’s going to show her that he can be the best father there is, the father he was before he stopped talking to them. He will spend the rest of his life making it up not just to Penelope but to [Y/N]. He knows he can’t ask for her friendship right here, right now, not after all the pain he’s putting her through. But he knows that down the line, they’ll come a time where she accepts his hand in friendship and that all of this will just be a distant memory.

“Okay,” he agrees.

“Okay, and I have one last condition.”

“Anything.”

“You will not bring that woman around my daughter,” she tells him, “Not any time soon. I don’t want her anywhere near my child. When you’re with Penelope, you’re only with Penelope.”

“Okay that’s fair,” he agrees, seeing her side of the situation.

“I mean it. Please don’t bring her around Penelope,” her voice cracked, “I just can’t handle that any time soon.”

“I won’t,” he says, his own voice cracking.

There was silence on the line. Neither one knowing what to do now.

“I really am sorry [Y/N],” Harry’s voice cracks, apologizing for a final time, “I never imagined this would happen. I really did love you. And I still do, it’s just-”

“You’re not in love with me anymore,” she softly says, tears rolling down her face, “I truly hope this doesn’t come back later and bite you in the ass, because you’re the one who has to live with the guilt of breaking us. Breaking me.”

Harry remained silent, not knowing what to say to her anymore. Knowing anything he can say will just make things worse.

“I hope it was worth it. I hope she was worth it,” [Y/N] lastly said before hanging up the phone.

Harry was left alone in the silence. Looking around the bedroom that was once their’s together. Knowing that all of this was his fault, and he can’t do anything to change it. The only thing he could do was grieve what once was, and move on learning from it all.

#heswriterangstfest #harry styles x reader #harry x you #harry styles oneshot #harry styles angst #harry styles reader #dad!harry #famous!reader #angst #harry angst #harry x reader

899 notes · View notes