#hey anyone wanna buy me a wheelchair lol

[dogon779-blog]

See you soon

Today is the day, the day when I finally get my surgery. I been waiting months for this so much pain has been built up I'm ready to be free of pain. Me and my girlfriend Ash talked about this day and thought how good life was gonna be. So May 4th I went in for my surgery, I was ready but I also was terrified but it seems like I wasn't alone as my parents and Ash were crying too. “You guys are such cry baby jezz” Said quietly with a chuckle but without knowing a tear was going down my face. Dam I was trying to keep my tears in, I didn't want them to worry about me. “Says you” My dad jokingly said, I'm just glad I'm not the only jokester. (Wooo) the door opens suddenly and the smell of a hospital floods the room like a storm. “Hey parents and mr and Ms” He laughed but his smile left fast as it came. Things got surios he went on and on about doctor talk, It only made things more scary. *Knock knock* ”Bradleigh are you ready to go?” A nurse asked. My mind went crazy I still had so much to say and so much to do all my emotions came out at once and I didn't know what do you. “Okay say your goodbyes and follow me please, Father you can come too” I followed quietly behind her not knowing where to go, Then she turned into a room *prep room* “Okay if you may just lay down on the bed for me please” she said so openly like this was the best bed in the world!? More doctors came in, I felt overwhelmed and started to panic but got myself in control. “Ok we willl put a mask on you which will make you sleepy” One of the doctors said. “ Take big breaths in and outttt, there you go just like that” “Hey can I get a bucket of chicken after this” The room filled with laughter……. *12 hours later* I was still under in drug indouced sleep I don't know how long I been sleeping but it felt like forever. My eyes creeked open very slower I must have fell back to sleep 20 times. I finally got the strength to move my head to my right and I seen my mother. “Ahinruoebeijsh” I tried to speak but I was still to sleepy to speak clearly. My mom laughed at me then I started to cry not because I wanted to just because I did. It's like a baby being born if they don't cry then something is wrong so it's a good thing I was crying it ment I still felt my back and pain. But of course my mom freaked out and ran and got a nurse, His name was Tyrone. He put medication in my iv to help the pain but before I knew it I was back asleep again. I didn't wake up until tomorrow morning but that's only because they woke me up and aslo I smelled bacon so I was ready to wake up lol. The breakfast cart was coming out and giving out breakfast, I got well my dad got me bacon, eggs and sausage. But little did I know how hard it would be to eat snice my whole Spain is in allot of pain and sensitive. So I got like 25% of one piece of bacon down before I quit. Then before knowing it I was asleep again all the way until 12 tomorrow. Let me just say these medications are very strong and they kick my ass like a kid playing kickball. So another day where I still don't know what's going to happen. But I was awoken by two lovely nurses, Jae and rox. Apptly they want to move me from my bed to a chair but remember I can barley move as is. “Okay bradleigh we are going to lift you up slowly, tell us if it hurts.” I was about to scream before they even moved me just because I was scarred. But secretly they amped up my meds just for this moment, So they started to move and I didn't even feel a thing thankfully. So eventually the nurses got me into the chair. Lucky me there was fooodddd!!!!! So in the end I was happy. But little did I know it would be my last day at that hospital before I got transferred to a rehab hospital. This is when everything went downhill, after eating and getting back into my bed. I finally decided to ask where Ash has went? My mom replied “She left shortly after you went in” I was confused because she said she would spend the whole weekend with me so why isn't she here. So I asked for my phone back and it's my first time using it snice the surgery. *Samsung startup screen* I waited for it to start then boom it's up, I was expecting a message or a missed call but there was nothing. So I was gonna sen*Knock knock* “Coming in bradleigh, Sorry for the interpurten but we moved your transfer from tomorrow to today within two hours” I didn't want to leave or move yet but I couldn't do anything about it. So my mom packed my bags and they took me to the ambulance for transferring. To be honest I was nervous again but I didn't have anyone there to support me. After a long 20min ride that felt like a lifetime we finally arrived to the rehab hospital. The doors on the ambulance opened them soon after my cart start to move. They are moving me to my new room. Where I found out I had a room mate, His name was hybob he was a Indian kid probably 9 years old but I couldn't tell why he was there, no real obvious reasons. Little later we were all set in my new “Room”. I was too tired to do anything, that trip from hospital to hospital had wore me down. So I went to sleep once again not knowing what to expect when I wake up.i slept until 5 in the morning I wanted to flip to my other side but I physically can't sense my Spain. So I lied there for about 2 hours before my dad woke up which then he called the nurse to flip me. But then they also start giving me self indouced medication instead of iv. It's so dam nasty like I wanna throw up it turns my stomach so bad. I couldn't eat because of it. So when I did eat I would eat a salad, Which is healthy but for me I don't need healthy rn. So day by day my stomach was getting worse and I ate less but I tried my best to make sure no one knew. To make everything worse my girlfriend wasn't answer, But to be honest no one was answering not even my best friend. I just needed someone to be there for me, I was struggling my mind was getting to me. I left voicemails waiting for a reply which never came, Until the very next day when my girlfriend finally called back. “Hey baby, Everything okay I haven't heard from you in a while” I said sadly “Oh sorry I didn't notice, I was busy….*in a faint voice which grew louder then boom laughter* (Male voice)” Haha I gotcha now” “Um I got to go bye” she hung up before I got the chance to even say anything. Who was that? I feel like I know that voice, Just shut up don't worry everything well be fine, i thought to myself. It was time for therapy anyways so I had to focus on getting better, We we're working out for about an hour before he let me go back to my room. As I was wheelchairing myself into my room I heard my ringtone, maybe that's my girlfriend calling back but soonly realized it wasn't a call it was a notification from Instagram. Someone sent me a video, I heard of this kid before but never really talked. So I clicked on the video and my heart stopped I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My girlfriend was making out with my best friend…. How could they, I trusted them why me, why now, just why. Its my fault I'm in this hospital, It's my fault I had to get this surgery, All of this is my fault. If I wasn't here then none of this happened but now it's to late *Grabs the iv bag line and wraps it around my neck* No one will get tthe chance to hurt me again *Wraps it tighter and throws myself off the bed making the iv choke me* I don't wanna live to tomorrow I wanna die Fuck tomorrow, I'm dieing tonight, My own life is like my kryptonite, I know this isn't right, but I lost this fight, So fuck today I'm not living tonight. No time to ask if I'm alright so just goodbye and goodnight…. *Beeeeeeeep*”Nurses to b11 we've a 212” The nurses come in and are shocked to there soul, They never ever seen something like this “Check his pulse”......”Hes gone, Wait what are these?” “ They look like cuts, Go check his file and see if he has any mental health issues” *2 mins later* “Been struggling with depression for then yeah*Ringtone blares* It was his girlfriend calling, one of the nurses pick it up “Hello?” The nurse cationly said “Umm is Kenny there? I need to talk to him” she said but Kenny isn't alive anymore, The nurse didn't know how to tell her other then just coming out “Ma'am I don't know how to tell you this but, Kenny took his own life today” The nurse mumbled. It was complete slience “Hey baby hurry up the movie is starting” Came from the background of her phone “um I will call back later” she said. The nurse yelled “Fucking hell because of you he's dead, All he needed was a friend but instead of being there for him you decided to cheat on him with his best friend” Then the nurse hung up but then suddenly “Kenny I'm here” a girl named McKenzie showed up holding flowers with such a beautiful smile which disappeared and quickly was joined with tears flowing down her face. She ran towards Kenny until one of the nurses grabbed her “KENNY NO PLEASE NO” McKenzie screamed. She was escorted out the room and taken to the waiting room. Little did Kenny know McKenzie saved up money to buy flowers and a taxi ride to get all the way there to spend a whole week with him. Now it's to late for that, He's gone forever now. *A week later at Kenny's funeral* “Kenny was a light hearted funny person, He never wanted to hurt anyone but only to help. So to see someone go through so much pain just to make other people happy, Makes me proud of him but also sad that no one wanted to make him happy. Today I wish he was here just to here his corny jokes, Knowing him he would have climbed into the casket and said “Well it's nap time see you tomorrow” *Laughter* But today is yesterdays tomorrow and he isn't here. So let's not forget him ever because he never got a tomorrow.” Kenny's dad said. “Hey Kenny's dad” McKenzie said “ Oh hey what a nice surprise, McKenzie right?” “Yeah but how did you know?” “Well Kenny talked about you and always told us stories about yall. He was grateful to call you his friend” “Aww I didn't know that, But should've knew he always liked talking”.... *Funeral ended* McKenzie stayed behind to say her final goodbyes at his grave, She talked and talked about there life and what they've done. But it ended in tears. “ Well the sun is going down so I should go home, See you soon kenny” McKenzie said. Later that week her mom went into McKenzie room but couldn't find her but noticed a letter to Kenny on her desk. Which read out “Dear Kenny I can't believe your gone, I wake everyday excepting your good morning text with a light but generous conversation. I go to school and walk the halls waiting to see your face or hear your voice but all I get is a emptiness slience. Everywhere I go and everything I do, I think about you and think how we used to do stuff. It's really hard to see everyone act like life is normal and nothing happen, But to me life will never be normal again. I still have so much to say to you but I won't get the chance too. So I will put everything in this letter.. Kenny you showed me so many beautiful things in life and gave me unforgettable memories which I will hold close forever. I always had a crush on you but you were dating Ash so i just kept it in. All I wanted is for you to be happy and if it meant letting you date Ash then let it be. So I tried my best everyday to make you smile because little to be known you had such a amazing smile which complemented your blue eyes.. God your eyes there were so filled with love and life I never get tired of them. Damnit Kenny I loved you and always wanted to tell you but I was sacred now I regret not telling you. Now I have to live with knowing I won't ever get the chance to… You were the best thing in life I had and it got taken away, I really miss you Kenny and I'll see you soon I promise” ~Mckenzie Her mom was crying by the end of the letter but wondered where she was *Woolsh* a cold breeze flew by her neck. She looked behind her and seen a open window, Her heart sunk. It took everything to walk to the window and look down to see her precious daughter laying completely face first 27 floors down on the road. McKenzie took her life at age 16…. The end