NOVEL SPOILERS 🖤
Just gotta love the fact that in the final chapters, but really let's face it- the fact that in the ENTIRE novel, it builds up on the viewpoint of Javier on how he constantly fails to protect Lloyd whenever something terrible happens to him, and the fact that in the end, he really wasn't able to protect him, even as the strongest swordmaster in existence, and i just think it's funny how unresolved the whole thing was to the point that Javier thinks he doesn't deserve to cry over Lloyd's final letter to the fronteras znxnncnf
LIKE WHY SAY THAT JAVIER DESPERATELY WANTS TO HELP(he does, really), AND THEN NOT BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY PROTECT HIM manxnnxndjdh though, granted, in the final scene they did simultaneously protect each other cliche-ly via getting stabbed for the other, it's just hilarious how this didn't go anywhere as lloyd died anyway
The narrative really said "Javier can't protect lloyd but he can help in other means, i swear"
I just think that sad boy Javier hours :>>>>>>>>
oh god
oh fuck
you cannot do this to me the damage this ask did to my brain and heart is immeasurable
you are so right tho!! that was. that was a really strange plot thread to leave dangling like that. and like it starts all the way back to cremo! javier gets disappointed in lloyd and leaves him behind to go fight the zesty lobster only to later feel guilty about it because he should've protected lloyd and lloyd almost died because of him. then there's the mastodons incident and javier gets really angry that time because lloyd isn't supposed to put himself in danger! he has people for that! he has javier for that! and yeah this is shown as a good gesture from lloyd because he refuses to put his people in danger for him (and don't misunderstand me it is a good thing) but it's also the start of lloyd not asking for help and wanting to take all the worry by himself. and javier notices that. then there's namaran where once again javier can't find lloyd, he can't protect him, lloyd almost dies again because javier couldn't defeat the hell knight by himself. and javier feels so guilty about it! he starts trying and training and working even harder because! he wants to be strong enough to protect lloyd! and then comes the bone dragon fight where, yet again, javier thinks he failed lloyd and couldn't protect him. literally his last thoughts were about how sorry he was he couldn't save him and how he'd wanted to be there at his side for the rest of his life. favorite scene btw. and then he does! he does manage to save lloyd, he literally turns into a grandmaster to save lloyd (which btw, getting to a level of swordplay that is thought of as imposible just to save your best friend? that's g-)! and you'd think that'd be the end of that right? except that no, lloyd is a little shit who keeps getting into more and more trouble each time more dangerous than the last. and while javier doesn't struggle as much physically to protect him, now lloyd's problems start being of a kind javier can't help him with as essily! especially because lloyd refuses to let him know how he can help! and in lloyd's mind that makes sense, because he knows javier wouldn't even doubt to give his life in his place (even if he's like absolutely wrong in the reasons on why. which is. a topic for another post. we'll get to that. oh trust me. we're gonna get to that) but it does cut off javier from doing anything to help him! it cuts him off from a major part of the plot! and javier notices! he tries so hard to be there for lloyd, he gives lloyd so many chances to be truthful, he confronts him several times, hoping lloyd will trust him to tell him how can he help... and lloyd doesn't. he has his reasons but at the end it just comes out as him not trusting javier enough to let him help.
and that's never resolved! javier never gets the chance to be in equal footing to lloyd when it comes to resolving the situation! lloyd never actually tells him anything! correct me if im wrong but lloyd never even tells him he's not actually,,, well, he never tells him he got isekai'd! javier finds out on his own, he pieces it together all by himself and then the letter where lloyd tells the truth isn't even for him.
and i'm not saying javier should've died in lloyd's place, i kinda don't love when choosing to die is shown to be a heroic, always right, selfless, good act, honestly that's part of why i am ok with lloyd's sacrifice at the end. because it's shown to be a tragedy, something he desperately didn't want to do, something he fought so hard against, something he really didn't want to choose and it's meant to be sad, we're not meant to be satisfied or content with it.
but i do think not even telling him takes away so much of javier's agency, it cuts him off from further character development and like you say! it's just! a plot threat that's left dangling. it's never resolved, it's never addressed, we're just meant to see javier struggle with the feeling that he can't protect lloyd and then failing to protect him at the end, feeling so guilty about it he doesn't even allow himself to grieve for him.
maybe we're meant to see his admission of missing him and wanting to see him again at all costs as him finally being able to do something in order to protect and save lloyd? it is a thing that was mentioned very often, how javier constantly admits to himself that lloyd is a better person than he thought and how he does think they're best friends but also is not willing to say it out loud, so maybe him bring willing to broadcast it to everyone in order to get to lloyd is the pay off for that? but it feels a bit,,, unsatisfying. i do love it! like javier admitting how much he loves and misses lloyd, annoying one of the most powerful beings in his world and hopping universes to get to lloyd? absolutely amazing, i love it, wouldn't change a thing. but it does feel like they didn't address one of his biggest insecurities except to confirm it to the most extreme degree.
ANYWAY ALL THIS TO SAY you are very right, the narrative did say "fuck you" to javier, and it is sad hour times for our favorite knight 😔
unrealistic that we didn't get a montage of javier being extremely over protective of suho after getting him back. he probably would refuse to leave his side for a good while, being too afraid to even go to sleep because what if something happens and he isn't fast enough to protect him yet again? i will admit that is a good sandbox to built hurt/comfort fics 🤭
28 notes
·
View notes
Hi,
I really like your art and I love reading all your ideas in your tags. I especially like how you go into Tuvok's bond with T'pel and how her absence affected him.
Since his bond was a combination of two minds creating something greater than the sum of its parts, how do you think this affected Tuvok when he and Neelix were fused as Tuvix? The relationship and similarities between being fused and having a bond mate. Do you think that Tuvok may have felt whole for a bit? Was it super invasive and in no way comparable to what he had with his wife? Or was is painfully similar, in that he longed for it. I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. :)
(I'm really sorry if you already went into this)
I'm so sorry this took so long when you were so kind to me v_v I just forget things. Also!! There's no need for you to be even a little bit sorry let alone 'really' sorry~!! I haven't talked about this and even if I had - whatever, 's all good~!!
I think the Tuvix things would be distinctly different from a meld or a marriage bond and I illustrated this in pictures bc it helps me visualize it better! (They're just lil sketchbook doodles)
So like, using Tuvok/T'Pel for this since she's his bondmate. When Tuvok has a stable bond with T'Pel they are 'two bodies one mind' but since they are two bodies and do different things all day/have different personalities/upbringings their 'one mind' is constantly being shaped by the two of them. They are distinct beings who are just constantly sharing ideas, thoughts and feelings with one another. They're more of a 'unit' in my mind than a singular person. I used the IDIC symbol to visualize this bc I realized it was sort of similar; two seemingly disparate shapes come together to make something beautiful, but you can still see all the parts that make the whole.
Meanwhile Tuvix is a distinct person. Neelix and Tuvok don't communicate while they are joined within him (as evidenced by the fact that they can't be asked their opinion on separating him in the episode. They have essentially 'died' in order to make Tuvix) and Tuvix seems to view them as more his parents. They provide a certain amount of background for him (he remembers their relationships with people) but has his own will and talents separate from them (He appears to be shown as very charismatic which neither Neelix nor Tuvok seem to be in canon, though I personally find them charming). I would characterize Tuvix more of a 'son'. Tuvok and Neelix's experiences are his 'upbringing' but they are no longer there to have opinions on what's happening. He can guess what they would think but as he's a distinct person his thoughts on them are colored by his own personality. (As evidenced by him saying they'd both want him to live which Janeway challenges)
I visualized this through numbers. When you see the number '3' you can imagine how it got there...2+1, 4-1, etc but you can't see it.
I also wanted to show two people who are not bonded. As you can see Tuvok is a 'whole' person without a bondmate but I imagine he wouldn't feel that way because of how long he's operated as a bonded mind. As he said, "I feel incomplete without them."
To me it doesn't seem that being part of Tuvix would be comparable to a bondmate as 'Tuvok' doesn't exist while part of Tuvix. He isn't a 'unit' he's a small and static component of a completely different person. Hypothetically, if Tuvix had been allowed to live he would have probably eventually stopped closely resembling either Neelix or Tuvok as he would have other things and experiences to draw from in regards to who he was.
It's sort of the difference between discussing where you want to eat with someone else as opposed to reading online reviews?? You wouldn't really say you came up with a decision together in the latter case.
But I also don't think Tuvok would find it invasive. I think he would find things like his brainwashing by Teero or being assimilated into the borg invasive but the Tuvix situation feels more like he'd think it was 'interesting' or 'mildly disconcerting'. He might vaguely dislike the thought of almost being unfaithful to his wife but also have to just accept that Tuvix wasn't him v_v which I think he could do pretty easily. Maybe Neelix would be more perturbed by it hehe...~
12 notes
·
View notes