#hey on the bright side: monsters are fuckable

[condraws]

some more k university stuff, bday gifts for @/chunnyyii and another friend, and then i grabbed rey to play in a campaign! he’s a shitty shitty paparazzi journalist haunted by his sins (and also just haunted), and the rest of the team of digimen are far worse (except for kyle we love kyle)

yan belongs to @knightofbluh and tea belongs to @exile-wrath

#HAPPY KIIDAY STILL! every day should be kii day #and for milky as WELL #oc tag #rey sosa #others ocs #kirkos #RED'S CAMPAIGNS ARE ALWAYS THE WILDEST I KNEW THIS FROM HEARSAY NOW I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE #rey is living his nightmare but also his dream at the same time #there are SO MANY THINGS TO INVESTIGATE #AND EVERYTHING IS INTERCONNECTED PAIN #hey on the bright side: monsters are fuckable #rey: THAT'S ILLEGAL me: not if they can consent- #yan is an actual serial killer in the making #tea is a literal arsonist with a cult #nani is a teen criminal with a werewolf probation officer #and kyle is every nice guy um actually war nut buff but also a harem anime protagonist and i adore him #common sense is a wonderful thing #we may have been resurrected day one but that's not gonna last long #F #ALSO MY FAMILIAR IS THE BEST I STAND BY THAT #I LOVE YOU CASPAR

[gotmilk5101520]

Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia Watch Episode 7 To Catch a Changeling

How to catch a changeling for idiots.

“All right”

“Do your worst”

The Sword of Daylight. A weapon to kill trolls and cutting watermelon.

“What is this mockery?” Me seeing stupid shit.

“You want to take it for a spin?”

*Cries in Troll*

Yeah, no one will notice.

“Ridiculous garment” Agree.

“Sorry. Draal was training Jim”

“Draal?” “Training?”

“Yeah, he sorta made a home in my basement to look out for the place”

“Of course. When a troll is defeated in combat, it’s completely natural for them to take refuge in the victor’s domicile” So, this happened before?

And it’s gone.

“It was, eh... It was out of focus, and i did forget to turn on the flash” Once again, i went back.

And the flash was on.

Have some Jim is done with this bushigal face.

“I’ve not left the Heartstone in a century” This is what it’s like to be force to go somewhere, cause they say it’ll be worth it. But it’s really not. Wow Vendel is becoming the most relatable character in this series.

“I hate conspiracies”

“That is why i am dedicated to rooting them out” If Trump hired Blinky to root out all the conspiracies of him Blinky will end up making them worse for Trump. #LetTrumphireBlinky

“If it’s everyone, it must be a conspiracy!” I would say Donald Trump, but that would be insult to Blinky.

“Later”

“Oh, no. Claire”

“Claire? A changeling?” Changeling Claire au.

“No. When i thought i was gonna die, i wrote Claire a letter, too, and told her everything”

“Everything?’

“Everything” And what is this “Everything” you speak of? What did you write?

“There you are!” Mission: Avoid Claire. Mission Fail.

“You didn’t run into Miss. Janeth yet, did you?”

“Is she mad i couldn’t make rehearsal yesterday?

“Something kinda came up”

“Heh heh” Good of the episode to put flashbacks in for me, so i don’t have to do it myself. Also Jim implies that last episode happened yesterday (Out of universe, yeah it did) But i thought about it and today would be Monday, and yesterday was Sunday. Jim and Draal’s fight happened on a school day meaning that it was Friday. Jim and Toby getting arrested and Jim making the letters were on a Thursday, and Jim and Toby finding out about Nomura was a Wednesday. And then the school trip to the museum was a Tuesday.

“Steve filled in. That’s what understudies are for, right?”

“Uh, you haven’t heard?

“Steve isn’t the understudy anymore. You are”

“She’s tired of you never showing up”

“So she made Steve Romeo. And trust me, Steve isn’t happy about it either”

“As i was saying, every algebraic equation requires balance”

“Not unlike, say, actors in an ensemble!”

“For instance”

“Every piece of this equation plays an important role”

“That is, unless variable X”

“is a zero”

“X has no role”

“X doesn’t show up”

“X lets the equation down”

“Then, the entire play-”

“I mean, equation- falls part!”

“It becomes impossible!”

“Mr. Lake”

“How would you solve this mathematical problem”

Yeah i’m at a lost.

“Promoting Steve to Romeo wasn’t your idea. Plus, he’s been trying to leave” “Tell me about it. After class he told me off. Steve told me off. Steve. Of all people”

“And, honestly, i’d rather be on stage with you”

I’ve seen that face before. Marinette made that face, too, when Adrien touched her shoulder at the end of The Evillustrator.

New meme template.

“So, we find another changeling”

“Stop saying that so loudly”

“Do you mind?”

“Whatever” Like i said, his name is Changeling.

“Ailment or curse?”

“Oi, numbskull! I;m supposed to answer it!”

“But i already did answer it” Wait are Rot and Gut like one troll sharing a body or no?

“You’re gonna need a gaggletack”

“Unfortunately, you see, we’re a bit short on those. Very hard to get”

“But i got a bag of them right here”

“What in the world? If you’ll excuse us for one moment”

“Ey, what are you doing? I’m trying to drive up the price over here”

“I thought we were trying to help these nice lads” Rot doesn’t understand Capitalism. Good boy.

“Gaggletack?”

“Rare artifact”

“Exceedingly rare. An object of great mystery”

“It’s a horseshoe”

“Made of pure iron”

“Why would you put such a precious thing on a horse’s foot?” Great, what other things are “Rare artifacts” to trolls?

“Beware. Changelings are swapped with their human counterparts at birth. So, it is likely these troll-pretenders have dwelt amongst you for decades”

“They could be anyone”

“Used car salesmen”

“Tax collectors”

“Television executives”

“Donald Trump”

“Yes, especially Donald Trump”

Nope.

Nope.

“Shall i hear more, or shall i speak-”

“Steve!”

“Hey! Who did that? And can i leave the play now?” “No”

Another new meme template.

Nope, nope, and nope.

“You, uh, try this out on Mr. Strickler?”

“Come on. You really think he is one?”

Yes.

So close.

“Here you go, Mr. Strickler. Here’s your horseshoe back”

“Thank you, Miss. Nunez, but that belongs to Mr. Lake”

“Oh. Well that would explain the flying horseshoes” Wait “Flying horseshoes”? You mean Claire noticed the horseshoe that hit Steve earlier?

“So not going to ask” Jim should look on the bright side of this. Claire touched the gaggletack, that means she’s not a changeling, and that the real reason she invited him to her house was not to secretly kill him. Oh wait. That’s not till later.

“Claire” “Still here” When people forget you’re here too. Trust me, i know that feeling.

“You’re still coming home with me, right?”

“Oh, right!”

“Claire and i are gonna go too her house... for math stuff”

Toby is surprised by how that escalated quickly. And it’s not even the second half of season 1 yet.

Series creator, director of The Shape of Water, and the man that said “Monster Fucker Rights” Guillermo Del Toro. Voicing a dentist.

“For the glory of Merlin”

“Daylight is mine to make babies ogle”

“He really likes you” Jim would be a great dad. Wink wink Claire. Wink wink.

“Wonder what he’s thinking about right now” “No idea what’s going through my brothers mind right now” “I’m going to get kidnapped next episode and you will never see me again for a long time. Goo goo”

‘Wow, this novocaine you numbed my mouth with is really strong”

“I can’t even feel my hands”

“That’s because i didn’t inject you with novocaine, dear”

“I hit you up with a potent paralyzer”

“Why would you do that?”

“Well, it’s not everyday someone comes in with a gaggletack” The moment i saw this.

“Why don’t i take that, sweetie? It’s not very hygienic” I knew she was a changeling.

“See, the equation only contains powers of X that are non-negative integers”

“Does that makes sense”

“Is it supposed to?”

“Nah. That’s why it’s called algebra” Algebra never makes sense. It makes Kingdom Hearts make sense. #ReplacealgebrawithKingdomHearts

“I realized you’ve got a lot more going on than people think”

“I do”

“I do?” You may now kiss the bride. Okay guys, Jim and Claire are married.

“You can’t just write a letter like this and not expect a conversation. If you had written something like “I’ve most likely been slaughtered by a troll” I would’ve said: Understandable, have a nice day” “Wait, really?” “No! You are lucky, you’re cute and everything” “I... Uh... It’s... Wait what?” “Nothing”

“You have to battle monsters?”

“Saving the world in which we know? What monsters are you battling? Are they fuckable?” “Well- Wait what?” “Uh... What monsters are you battling?”

Have some Claire being done with her (Not yet, almost, but not really, not for another season) boyfriend’s bushigal.

“I mean, we all have stuff we’ve got to go through”

“But are you in some kind of trouble?”

“I... Yeah! Metaphoric”

“I was...”

“In an exploring stage”

“Not successful” Let it be known that Claire thinks Jim has depression, if not suicidal tendencies. And i did not get this from the wiki or TvTropes.

“There’s some sentimental stuff at the end which i thought was... kinda sweet” Umm. Can we read the full letter? I want to know what he said.

“Really?”

“If you ever need someone to talk to about “the monsters” you can talk to me”

“It can be our secret” Yeah. There are going to be a lot of secrets you two will be sharing. Also, you two could’ve kissed here as well. But whatever you tried i guess.

“Halt, changeling!”

“Or else my giant friend will tear you limb from limb!”

“Maybe later” These things always happens.

“Oh, it burns!”

“Oh, it’s just a painting” Paintings don’t kill trolls confirm.

Huh. After an entire episode of using it on everyone, and making me think it didn’t work, it actually does work.

“What’s that?” “Laughing gas”

*Laughs in Troll*

“Laughs in Troll*

“Hello? Wait how did you get my number?”

“Hey! What’s up, Nunez?”

“Hey Colby”

“Someone named Woby?” Claire can’t remember Toby’s name.

“Fighting monsters again?”

“Who are you, Jim Lake” Claire is getting sus.

Imagine walking into this.

“Perish, you worm!” “Wait, before you kill me, i have something to ask. You know Nomura, right?” “Yes” “Well she has a history with a troll named Draal. Do you know what their history is?” “No, this is the first time i’m hearing about it” “Oh, okay. Thank you. You can die now” “You’re welcome. Wait what?”

“Do you have some magic artifact that can clean this mess?”

“Yes. I believe it’s called a Tobias” Translation: “Clean it yourself”

“It appears Nomura has gotten her way”

“Another changeling has been chosen”

“And look who it is” “Enrich? Enquran? Enquin?” “Oh, for the love of. It says Enrique!” “Oh. Who’s that?” “Claire Nunez’s little brother!” “Which one is Claire again?” “The one you haven’t met!” “Well no wonder i don’t know who that is. I never met them”

Anyone is a changeling. Maybe i’m a changeling.

So who’s the worst babysitter? Jim or Marinette?

#trollhunters #milk watches trollhunters #tales of arcadia

[eyecontvct]

Sexual deviant. Depraved. Disgusting. His own ex had called him all of those. 

He enjoyed it. Some sick part of him enjoyed the attention, as perversely disgusted as it was, and sometimes he wanted nothing more than to just tear into himself and end it. 

But, of course, he couldn't. 

All he could do was indulge himself in humans, the weak ones, and bleed them for every last drop. Every single human he drank the blood from was the same; a little bland, lukewarm. Unsatisfying. 

He gladly got fucked up with them, danced, flirted, happily entertained as a host or a guest, became the life of the party, but nobody who follows the most beautiful person at a party into the back room to do lines of coke and fuck is a content boy. 

His fingers closed around his own throat, partly willing the torture to stop, but partly desperate for more. He knew it wouldn't kill him. Shit, he barely needed to breathe. He just enjoyed the way they looked at him. 

He loved the way it felt, having two people, anyone, he couldn't remember their names, look at him with pity and shame, a little disgust. It sent a thrill through his whole body.

"Harder," he choked out hoarsely, nearly falling into the poor human below him. Harder. The thrust came harder, hitting him deeper, and the cord around his neck was going to slice it off. He wanted it to. Their reactions would be priceless. 

A hoarse groan of utter pain and pleasure left his lips as stars dotted his vision, orgasm ripping through him and leaving him melted, shivering, twitching and gasping his little white flag. 

The guy behind him breathed a long, steady 'fuck' into the sticky air, letting go of Felix and gently grinding to a halt. Felix's heart was racing still, so hard he could hear it, and it seemed that every time he moved his body twitched its protest. 

The woman below him whined something about unfairness, and before he knew it he was fucking her like his life depended on it, the high still not worn off. The steel of a knife scraped his skin and he could do nothing but groan out a plea for more. He wanted them to destroy him. 

It all felt better once they'd shared more lines and gone their separate ways, Felix a little sore but happy. 

It was only when he got back to his dorm room that he realised how fucked up he was. He looked a mess, hair dishevelled, eyes wild, whole body twitching and excited. The whole world was slowed down, and he was wired, buzzing - he could do anything. 

The comedown was horrible. The depression set in around 2am and sat like a haze on his night. He'd meant to go to a party but he couldn't bring himself to stand up. Friends came round, told him he needed to get some sleep and have a shower, but none stayed. More important shit to do. 

3am. He'd been staring at the wall for the last hour. 

He stood, stumbled to the bathroom, and wondered why seeing blood drip from his nose didn't shock him. He looked a mess, and he felt a mess. When his phone rang, however, the shock was so bad he nearly cried. 

"Fuck," he breathed, wiping away tears and blood - of course he only made it worse. "Yeah? What." 

"Oh," said the voice on the other end. Felix stared at his own reflection. Don't freak out on her. "Glad to hear your voice too. You gonna come to your own party?" 

Shit, it was so hard. It was so, so hard to believe that she really wanted him there, that any of his friends really gave a shit about his health, that she actually cared. Why would they? He looked like shit - ugly, depraved, unkempt, disgusting. He wanted to put a hole through his reflection. Two fingers to his head. Bang. 

"Felix?" 

"Uh, yeah, what- what, uh, what're you doing? Right now." 

She'd be able to hear the tremble in his voice. If she noticed, only her tone changed. "Oh, uh... Getting drinks. We were kind of late. It's gonna die without you." 

Felix's back hit the wall. He slid down it, slowly, slowly, until he was on the floor, one hand in his matted hair. "Hey, O-Ophelia," he said quietly, "do you- do you think... You know what, fuck it." 

"I'm sorry? Felix, are you okay? Are you crying?" 

"No. Yeah. Shit. Listen. I'm- I'm sorry." "What for? What did you do?" "Shit, no, I'm fucked up. Right now." 

"Stay on the line, yeah?" 

His chest felt like it was going to cave in. Everything was pressing, holding him down. 

His phone clattered to the side as he took a second to retch - somehow nothing coming up made it feel so much worse. A whine of a groan left his body, every pore of his skin itchy and uncomfortable. 

"Felix? I'm coming upstairs." 

"No, wait, please, nononono-" He scrambled to get his phone, pleading with her, begging, sounding pathetic even to himself. Tears welled up again, but this time they broke forth in sobs. "Please. Please. I'm so- don't want you to- please-" 

“Tough, I'm here." 

She hung up, and panic reared its nasty head. She couldn't see him like this. Nobody could. His door opened and he just covered his face, his head, wishing he could just be swallowed up. Maybe he should have just overdone it. 

"Felix, shit, what happened?" 

Ophelia stood at the door, and all Felix saw was an angel. 

"Guys, go back downstairs." 

"What's up with him?" 

"Nothing, just go back downstairs, fuck." 

The door shut, finally, and Felix was alone with the most beautiful being he'd ever seen. He didn't really deserve to be in her presence. Every curve was fantastic, every shadow and highlight perfect. He'd never wanted to see anyone less. 

"Ophelia," he heard himself saying, "am I... Am I ugly?" 

She stood still for a moment. She was too bright to look at until she collapsed to her knees in next to him, grabbing a tissue from her purse and dabbing it to his eyes, his chin, his nose. "You're the most beautiful boy I've ever met," she said quietly, holding his face so gently all he could feel were tingles. Her eyes searched his, though he was sure she wouldn't like the snarling, wounded, angry monster she saw. He kind of wanted her to hate him, just so he could have something to cling to. 

"I'm-" he began, though he bit his lip and drew blood. More he didn't want. He hadn't eaten properly in days, maybe a week, and wearing sunglasses in school and pretending it wasn't a big deal wasn't doing much. "Just say you hate me. I- need it." 

"What? Felix, where is this coming from? This isn't you- are you hungry?" she asked desperately, dropping the straps of her dress and bra, shifting her hair until he could see her exposed flesh. It called to him, but his stomach turned and he felt like throwing up again. He made a face and pushed her aside gently, leaning over the toilet bowl and nearly throwing up more. Nothing. 

"Sorry," he sniffed hoarsely, wiping his nose on the back of his hand and putting her dress straps back onto her shoulder. "Guess not." 

She was looking at him with such pity it almost made him want to cry some more. "Come here," she said quietly, standing and gently pulling him to his feet. He stumbled after her, shuddering with each step - shit, he was freezing. 

She sat on the bed and pulled a blanket around his shoulders, pulling him closer until his head was resting on her chest. "You're far from ugly, baby. You're beautiful. You're so beautiful." 

She was stroking his hair, even as he felt the wave of shame rip through him and he gripped her dress, finally letting the sobs out, tears finally streaming like they'd never stop. "I'm a mess," he sobbed, pulling back to notice his nose was bleeding again, onto her dress, staining it forever. She was going to hate him for sure. "Shit, fuck, I'm so sorry, I-" 

She shrugged. "Didn't like this dress. Friends said it made me look fuckable." 

That made him laugh, at least. It came out like a little chuckle which turned into a sad, choked laugh. He kind of felt better for having someone there - why her, he didn't know, but it was nice. "Thanks for helping me out," he said quietly, hugging the blanket tighter around him and leaning back on her chest. "I, uh... Have days... Like this. Sometimes. Sorry. I'll be fine." 

"What brought this on, though?" 

She did seem genuinely concerned, which was nice. Strange, but nice.