#hey this is not me choosing catra over adora ok

[literaphobe]

season four of she-ra rated by catradora content

the coronation: okay so... rightfully. there’s nothing i should be appraising here. adora and catra didn’t interact or bring each other up at all. but bro... catra’s new outfit... the best character of season four. i’m kidding but also she is so hot. catra seems to be dealing w the portal incident by framing it as a victory, since the rebellion was hurt by it. but also who cares. who fucking cares man. her arc this episode was about her deciding to make hordak her little bitch and design a new sexy outfit. that adora did NOT talk about nor seem visually affected by >:( yes, this entire season will be measured by how much i think it was a missed opportunity that adora did not get to thirst. jk but also am i? 500000000/10 for catra’s new look, 0/10 for official catradora stuff

the valley of the lost: god...... this episode. i know it’s like one of the few catradora moments we have this season already but it makes me LIVID that adora said that flirty ass line and catra never even got to hear it. anyway, let’s begin properly. double trouble seeks catra out and says they’re gonna be her new best friend. catra says “oh, yeah? i’m done with best friends”, making it official that she and adora broke up 😔 like friend broke up oh my god 😔 KFKSKDKD like we been knew but i think it is so dramatic and funny of catra to announce that she’s never having a best friend again because adora broke her heart 😔💔 i mean i know it’s also like sad but let’s keep it light ok uwu anyway. sigh. double trouble! auditions for catra! by pretending to be her in battle! which is great for them, but not for me and my hang ups about adora bringing back a flirty line catra said to her in season one and winking and then catra doesn’t hear or see ANY of it. sigh. let’s go through the scene. adora sees who she thinks is catra run in and say “hey! careful with the goods”, pouncing on adora and taking her down. adora tosses dt!catra into the walkway above and they get a cut on their face. not sure whether this is meant to signify adora pulling less of her punches around catra or double trouble just not being as agile as catra is in combat. it’s probably the latter because when you think about it, throwing catra away is much more of a defensive tactic than an offensive one. anyway! double trouble still does a more or less good job fighting adora as catra. huntara calls adora over and is like hi adora! could you stop fighting ur gf for one fucking second? we need you to do literally anything else. and adora (who has NO IDEA she’s not fighting her ACTUAL gf) is like :( wait no what really?? ok :( one sec tho lemme pull off this super cool sexy farewell thing before i stop fighting catra i’ve been practicing it for years u kno kinda been working up to doing this bit. and then she. grabs dt!catra after stopping them from running away, and grabs this trap thingy to trap them against the side of this wall. “i got something more important to do :) it was fun distracting you though ;)” and she actually WINKS and she looks SO PROUD of her damn self but it means pretty much NOTHING because that’s not ACTUALLY catra :( wtf :( the worst thing about this whole situation is that adora clearly wanted to do her whole super strong super powered thing and then go BACK to catra and like.... gloat or something.... flirt some more.... kiss her.... i don’t know. but dt!catra is gone because they’re good at getting out of tight spots, and adora is like “how did she get out of that? :( i wanted to see more of her tf....” anyway double trouble, scorpia, and catra are escaping in a skiff after this. catra thinks double trouble did marvelously. “i grew up with adora, and you fooled her” well catra. i’m very sorry. but if i were adora seeing you in that new look for the first time, i wouldn’t be checking to see if u were ooc. i would be.... hm idk.... flirting with you as hard as possible? like i know i complained that we never got a proper reaction from adora re catra’s new outfit, but i think we could interpret this scene as a lapse in adora’s morals <3 like she gave catra such a hard stare the last time they saw each other, and the next time they saw each other (after this) adora glared at her too, but somehow this time she’s all 👅👅👅👅👅it was fun distracting you ;) ;) ;) like ok. slow down there horn dog. “if you can do that, we can do anything. this is gonna be fun...” catra :( perhaps you would have more fun :( if you suggestively fought with adora :( yourself? :( 8/10

flutterina: catra’s having bad dreams :( her mistakes and past actions are haunting her and the guilt is messing her up so bad :( so what am i choosing to focus on? the fact that adora was in her dream :) dream!adora looks Angry and dream!catra is scared and backing away :( a quick callback to when adora gave catra an angry Look when she destroyed the portal, and catra looked scared for a second before her face hardened back to something equally pissed off looking. so this dream obviously tells us that the thought of adora genuinely just hating and being pissed off at catra... hurts and scares her. because we all know that she loves adora and just wants adora to love her back! but.... ya lmao. dream!adora asks “why did you do it?!” reminiscent of what she said last season, but angrier this time. and we all know that catra doesn’t really know why. sometimes things torture you so bad and you do stuff that you can’t come up with sound or logical reasons for. u would rather keep running or keep deflecting, and so catra deflects dream!adora’s questions by waking up. i wonder if catra dreams about adora more than what we’re shown in this scene. i also REALLY wanna know if adora dreams of catra. i want more :( why this season gotta be the fucking break up season bro :( like i KNOW they’re thinking of each other. gimme the content :( for now, let’s skip ahead to💔 their only real interaction this season💔 holy fuck. stay strong u guys. stay strong me. i think it’s very offensive of she-ra to not give me a catradora heavy season every season? like yeah this season is good but god at what cost? they should’ve known i was going to do an evaluation? :/ that i was gonna rate each ep out of ten according to how much catradora content there was? :/ the fuck bros. ,,,,anyway, let’s get to the actual scene. catra’s walking around w an ipad and scorpia is talking to her. catra looks like. v serious and :| and >:/ BUT when scorpia asks about she-ra catra becomes >:) and >:D “she-ra was in elberon, which means she’s nearby.” “do you think she’ll try some secret attack? :0” “;D oh i’m counting on it ;)” fucking god catra can you just flirt normally??? like be horny in a normal way??????? u can just ask adora out on a date. have u tried that? i know she blocked u for nearly destroying the world but adora’s a hoe ❤️ she would’ve said yes ❤️ u don’t need to kidnap a town as an excuse to see her ❤️ yes i know she did it to plant flutterina!DT into the rebellion as a spy but shhhhh ❤️ we finally get to the most GORGEOUS “hey adora”,,, ever because it’s the only hey adora of this season 💔 i looked back and we did not get a ‘hey adora’ last ep. honestly, adora should’ve figured it wasn’t catra JUST from the lack of greeting. catra is fucking POLITE ok :( anyway. it’s so homophobic that we only got ONE “hey adora” in THAT LOOK but..... it’s okay. because it’s such a good one. catra’s hand is propping her face up and she just looks so pretty.... the way she SAYS the hey adora too like bros... how we holding up? bad? she’s posing and lounging so prettily... “took you long enough to show up” HHHHH why does she sound like a gf who’s a little :/ that her gf showed up late for their date.... bro....... must she SMILE that prettily..... also adora’s reaction... she goes :0 and her EYES get this like ‘oh wow’ look for a Moment right before she remembers she’s supposed to be mad when she sees catra then she’s like >:( CATRA >:( and like. let’s dissect that look for a moment? it’s almost like AWE but why??? why would she be at all surprised to see catra??? catra is IN the horde like. she got happy for a moment until she remembered she’s meant to be mad. good bye <3 i will now be passing away <3 “seriously. i thought i’d have to kidnap another town to get your attention” TO GET. YOUR ATTENTION. HHHHH HELP THEY’RE GAY...... BRO WHY.............. THE GAYNESS UNMATCHED..... anyway catra continues like OH RIGHT u were at a PARTY feeling SPECIAL and adora.... oof oh fuck she COLD she was like skip the SPEECH i’m done playing your GAMES and she like reminds catra of the portal and they just... oof this really IS the breakup season it’s so brutal bros :( can’t they just kiss :( like nooooo don’t stare at each other angrily you’re so sexy aha OK BUT... at the end after catra runs away and adora’s getting hugged by flutterina and everyone’s cheering for her... she lets her ‘catra BAD’ and ‘yay haha rebellion for the win! :)’ facade drop for a moment... and she gets this really sad look on her face that makes u think.... and the next scene we see catra sitting on the ledge of where she and adora used to sit together? and she looks real upset too???? they hate being enemies. 9/10

pulse: in this ep adora fucking SHUSHED spinnerella and netossa while they were bickering and like... ok wow. rude :/ adora straight up was like ok HAHA WOW we GET IT ur HAPPY y’all have WIVES and iiiiiii don’t HAVE a GIRLFRIEND because my crush is EVIL :( on the other hand, we find out that catra is meeting up regularly with double trouble to get intel. it’s very funny because she’s like yeah yeah WHATEVER what can u tell me about SHE-RA >:( like girl? u are not subtle ❤️ catra literally met double trouble and said let’s be friends with benefits ❤️ the benefits? you spy on adora and tell me everything about what she does ❤️ was she pretty today ❤️ haha jk she’s pretty everyday ❤️ here’s some bitcoin for your troubles ❤️ AND THEN the next time double trouble facetimes catra they transform into bow and glimmer to roast them and catra is at most unamused and annoyed but BUT when double trouble pretends to be she-ra catra’s like HAHAHAHDJSJDJSJD OMG,,,, INSPIRED FAM,,,, SO FUNNY TOP PEAK COMEDY,,,, ABSOLUTE LEGEND,,,,,, SHOW ME SHE-RA AGAIN,,,,, u know that thing where you find people who you’re attracted to way funnier than they actually are? ya :-) apparently catra doesn’t even need the Actual she-ra/adora to lose her shit. she just needs to see a physical representation of her and it’s suddenly Peak Comedy. someone once pointed out that this moment was the last time catra was happy all season and... can we take a fucking second to cry about that. haha 💔 anyway double trouble is happy that they finally cracked the code to making catra go from ARGH >:( to HAHAHAHAHAH :D so they give her she-ra intel as a treat ❤️ “she-ra’s going back out to destroy the bot that hurt her friend” “ugh 🙄 typical heroic adora plan” shut up bitch u dream of her lips on yours!!!!!! 7/10

protocol: no rights for white boys ❤️ 0/10

princess scorpia: well, nothing! but since i’m scouring i might as well say the line where catra says “you don’t need a princess in your life telling you what to do!” to hordak she’s actually talking about her and adora haha i mean duh :-) anyway since i’m here can i talk about how hot catra is again this season. i’m madly in love did y’all see her from behind? even her back view is beautiful i am going to combust <3 2/10

mer-mysteries: what a great episode! 0/10

boys’ night out: catra gets banned from doing war crimes because hordak wants to do the war crimes all by himself and this is a real bummer because there’s an even SMALLER chance she’ll bump into adora now :( jk ik she was avoiding her this season because the guilt was eating her alive haha :-) also glimmer and adora fought and we all know that ‘but the rebellion’s in a worse place than ever since you showed up’ is like a very :( line but when u think about it it’s true because adora joining the rebellion pissed catra off so much she became an antagonistic force driving most of the conflict in the series up to this point in the story JFJDDJDJDJ like imagine if they brought catra up in this convo ‘i’m doing my BEST glimmer :(‘ ‘ok but what can we do about your terrible taste in evil women????? was ur catgirl gf ex really worth it????? did she hit that different???? did the catgirl ***** slap that hard????’ 1.5/10

hero: man mara is so hot! 0/10

fractures: scorpia said catra’s name in front of adora... ‘shadow weaver! and at bright moon! everything is making so much sense about why catra’s been acting the way she has’ and adora’s reaction is so interesting.... she goes from this ‘catra....’ look to this ‘catra >:(‘ look and like it’s interesting to see catra’s psyche explained to adora like this and it’s clearly something that makes adora feel bad but then she remembers the bad stuff catra did and forces herself to focus on that. 5/10 for that alone lmao

beast island: bow being very upset and annoyed and disappointed in glimmer is a fun little parallel to how adora has felt about catra’s descent into the darkness. you feel doubly upset and doubly betrayed when someone you’re in love with goes against what you stand for, and the goodness you know they’re capable of but aren’t showing. 1/10

destiny part 1: ‘i’ll be happy when the rebellion and she-ra are gone for good!!!’ are u sure about that catra :/ 1/10

destiny part 2: catra gets into a huge fight with some dude and right after she sort of collects herself after barely beating him she hears “hey, catra” and she completely freezes up. she’s been so proactive with avoiding adora all season... and the moment in 4x03 nearly doesn’t count because she was acting specifically to get double trouble snuck into the rebellion. aside from a necessary interaction in which she was far away and removed from adora anyway.... where she was far enough away to smile and laugh and manipulate the situation.... she hasn’t wanted to see adora at all, clearly. and having this happen now, right after one of her worst fights, right after she thought she was going to win... “no. you can’t do this. you can’t come in and take this from me now.” “woah, i knew this would get a rise out of you, but still, you really are obsessed, aren’t you, kitten?” and catra’s standing there like 👁👄👁 until double trouble reveals themself and says stuff that :( hurts :( i am not going to repeat until i get to anything catradora relevant because i don’t wanna be bummed out ok hoes 😔 anyway double trouble becomes adora again and is like “didn’t need you... left you” and puts catra’s hand on adora’s cheek...... and then shoves catra???? rude :( 7/10

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #here u go lads uwu #hope u guys like this #reblogs w tags much appreciated! #reacts in the replies appreciated too #s4 was so naked but this also meant it wasn't as hellish to make this <3 #remember s3 remember ep?? fuck that was HELL

[nozomijoestar]

I used to have this story exclusively on my Ao3 but since I deleted that last December its taken me months to feel any rhythm of comfort uploading writing online again be it original or not; so I’m finally planning to reupload stuff I saved that isn’t already tagged here

Originally written under ‘Start and Start Again’ for She-Ra Fluff Bang 2020 and my first standalone novella length thing at 10k

-

The journey of Catra’s ever changing life begins with one step forward

It started as a bump on her stomach. A mild thing no bigger than her fist. Yet it stuck out the way the crown piece of a treasure hoard shines. Catra stumbled backwards; gripped the sink to keep her balance. She stared deeper into the full length mirror. The bump remained, had it gotten taller in this light? It was smooth to the touch or rather as smooth as fur could be. The softness of her was something to take great pride in. Anyone who assumed her messy were proven dead wrong. Now wasn't the time for petty thinking however.  

Catra sank to the floor still clutching her stomach. She felt it join as part of her, this new thing, and if she strained her ears she just knew it had a heartbeat. A child. Adora's- no their child. She has to swallow to not shout 'Holy Shit!!!' at the top of her lungs. Instead it makes her bite her lip until blood trickles. Catra winces then recovers; she stands and runs water to splash on her face. The woman staring back in the vanity mirror is smiling under the wet bangs sticking to her forehead; smiling like an idiot now disheveled. She pivots and bolts out the bathroom yelling.

"Hey Adora! Adora come over here!"

"Catra? What's going on this early?"

She dashed around the sofa through the living room to find Adora rubbing her eyes and slinking out of bed. She heard her mumble already about waking ahead of schedule; it made her try not to roll her eyes. Of course she'd fixate on that right out of sleep. Before she let her get in another word Catra stopped in front of her. She grabbed Adora's hand and pressed it to her stomach. A lopsided grin was all she could muster for a reply. It took a few seconds, then Adora's eyes went wide. She saw her stare at the bump with such reverence Catra felt tears fall.

"You're...we're..."

"I know."

Adora pulled her down into a hug so tight Catra had to tap her to ease it.

"I'm gonna be a parent...Catra you're gonna be a parent! It's, it's real. It's actually happening."

"Told ya it'd work out."

Then Adora sucked in a huge breath and went rigid gawking at the ground.

"Oh my god I'm gonna be someone's mom. I dunno the first thing about babies! Catra who do we even ask-"

"Um, all of Bright Moon and our friends? They already know we're trying did'ja think they'd ditch us now?"

"No! No of course not. It's just this is actually happening. What if I mess it up already and something goes wrong o-or they come and don't like me- can babies think their mom is lame before they're born? What if-"

"Adora. Do you still want a baby?"

"Yes. More than anything. Sorry I know I'm being-"

"Hey. That's all you need; someone like you is gonna do fine. So stop or you'll give yourself a heart attack before the kid's even here."

Catra sat beside her and rubbed circles on her back. A sigh filled the room when Adora leaned her head on Catra's shoulder. She planted a kiss in her hair and wrapped an arm around her.

"...I wouldn't have my kid with someone I knew'd be shit at it. Or to me. You're you Adora, I didn't choose anyone else."

"I know I know. We're nothing like Sha-"

For an instant something stops Adora as if she's been gagged. Her eyes go wide again haunted by the sinister. She tries speaking only to make a strangled sound. They exchanged a look of understanding no one should have. A look of indescribable pain. Shared pain. Adora strains to start a third time when Catra finishes it.

"Nothing like Shadow Weaver. And we never will be. You can kill me if I do."

"I wouldn't go that far but...me too."

Wordlessly she let Adora slide against her and rest on her chest. Catra purred as she traced her claws along Adora's arm. Her tail coiled around Adora's waist when she bent to kiss her cheek. A hum is all she gets in reply; its more than enough.

"We're better people now, aren't we?" She asks.

"We'll always be better if we try. You're right I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Catra?"

She saw the eyes staring up fill with worry like it held the same value as water. Like it was something born in Adora's hands and for all their years since childhood it may well have been. Like it paired perfect with the tension stiffening her face. A face that deserved only to finally be soft forever. Catra whispered already knowing she wouldn't cure anything. It was too late of course; shame was her birthright too.

"I'm happy. I'm so happy right now I can't put it into words even for you. But that doesn't change what I've done. Who I was before this, before this version of us...back when we woke up everyday wondering if that'd be the last time."

"Catra no."

"I hurt you, Adora. I keep saying it because it's never going away ok? I hurt you, I hurt Sparkles and Arrow-Boy, Scorpia...Entrapta. The entire damn planet can bite me in the ass someday and I'd understand. The Horde destroyed. This being the happiest time of my life doesn't erase that."

"Catra-"

"What if I get frustrated and relapse? What if it's not even something I do it runs in families and I'm ruining them right now by being their mother because being a failure is just destiny?!"

"Enough."

The hands holding her head were firm as Adora moved to tangle them in her hair. She lowered her fully onto her lap; let herself purr with a breath in. Her eyes closed, tears fell. Adora's thumb wiped them away. It was so gentle Catra couldn't help a sob. She let everything pour out, let herself be wracked by hiccups; not one received judgement. She sat raw, bare in a place where dignity came innate not earned and knew herself still the invader. The conqueror. An aide to desolation.

The knotted feeling in her throat overpowered the new life under Adora's touch. Her stomach tingled at the caress; did their child want to scold her too?

In the end Adora's voice, that better half, guided her to reason.

"You're allowed to feel bad, remember? Like Perfuma said? I cant stop you no matter how much it hurts to hear. You're allowed to have bad days; but you're not allowed to give up. And you're not allowed to stop improving."

She let herself be pushed gently onto their bed; settled into the wholeness of their bodies resting together like they were made for nothing else. Adora is warm, her chest is safe, and her blonde hair falls across Catra better than a curtain. She purrs and purrs in her arms unable to stop, to entertain the thought for stopping. Hands wander the length of her then settle on her hips. Adora's thumb circles her fur until she wraps her tail along that forearm. They kiss and by god Catra will never get over the bliss it brings.  How do you get over a free fall?

In silence she lets herself be tucked further against her; their legs entangle just as a feeling indescribable bursts from deep within. Something Catra knows she's understood for as long as she could remember that refuses to emerge in glimpses anymore. Only Adora can hope to know it in equal measure. She wants to wish that more than she's ever wanted at all. She swallows before meeting Adora's eyes. Adora has the briefest second for confusion when Catra's impulse strikes in her softest voice.

"It's like you know me better than I know myself."

Adora's face went wide then slid into the chuckle they know means contentment.

"Because you let me in."

And let her in she continued to do. For every day she grew bigger not a feasible moment did she spend alone. If she hungered the kitchen stocks ran dry, when she rested Bright Moon went still. Whenever she yowled or groaned there came Adora to massage her, Bow to shoo away prying eyes, Glimmer to order so many extra pillows for their room she thought there'd finally be something to suffocate her worse than herself.

She sat at the center of the castle gardens in the sun. Seven months had turned the seasons hot into mild into cold that'd kept her tucked in Adora's embrace, now turned again another leaf into Spring. Her back ached under a pressure fanning up her spine and centered on her swollen belly. Catra stifled a groan. Adora sat slumped over the table sound asleep opposite her. The gentle snores rumbling from her chest punctuated the bird calls like a bad note cutting a song. Catra laughed as soft as possible. Maybe their kid would pick it up from the get-go.

The ice in her drink clinked as she sipped. That's when she heard another step through the grass. She glanced at a hedge over her glass brim.

"Quit screwing around before someone else sees you."

"Ohhh Kitten you still don't know the meaning of fun do you?"

"Shhh. Adora's asleep. Thought you'd be quieter too. Must be sooo hard going soft."

A guard emerged from the shadows in white armor. The crescent standard of Bright Moon on the chest liquified then twisted into darkness. It bent and spread until a new figure emerged. Double Trouble shook out the unshaven half of their blond undercut. They stretched into a saunter across the paving stones.

Their high heels made that grating 'click clack' noise she'd once waited for in the Fright Zone. On reflex she glanced at Adora; she was still asleep, now drooling. The nasal pitch Double Trouble called a voice went lower even as their words dripped sass. Catra wished it'd never change, if you dragged the thought out of her.

"I'm surprised you've kept that tongue of yours looking like that. What a nasty little bite from an expecting mother."

"Oh really? What a tired act from a spy about to be washed out in peacetime. Hey don't sit there!"

"No darling you made the bed now lie in it for that one. This table is more than enough for a party."

They smirked at each other and knew there was nothing to forgive. Double Trouble gave Adora a once over look; their eyes lingered on Catra's stomach. They crossed their legs and arms with that flair Catra secretly imitated in the mirror. She went back to drinking.

"Seems like you two tied the knot finally. So sorry I had to miss that event, the stage called me. Color me not shocked to have seen this coming a mile away."

"...What's that mean?"

"It means darling there are countless women throughout the universe who'd kill for your position. Wife of She-Ra and now adding to this little litter you two are starting? Honey you're the most envied yet admired woman anywhere."

"Yeah well I'll believe it when I see it. That many people couldn't like me unless there was something to take."

"Dear, would you look at me?"

She did and found them filing their nails. Typical. They continued.

"Are we friends?"

A pause. Catra twiddled her thumbs. They looked her dead in the eyes now.

"Yeah."

"And her over there, what is she to you?"

"I...Adora is part of my everything."

"Why?"

"What'd you mean why?"

She stopped herself and startled; her eyes widened toward something distant, somewhere within. There from her memory stood Adora, begging her to turn rebel, Adora catching her before a drop to certain death, Adora laughing as they held hands like children again through dark tunnels. Adora overturning an empire millions strong to save her on nothing more than her heart. Adora crying always crying but never stopping.

Foolish and lovely Adora who promised her in infinite ways she was worth it.

Double Trouble grinned into a sound of contentment. They put their filer away and stared expectantly but not without care.

"I take it you know. Now tell me this and be honest- what about Glimmer and Bow? What about all these other princesses and their kingdoms? How do they treat you?"

"They're...they're kind to me. Every time we were off planet letting Adora do her thing, seeing people hold magic for the first time...putting up with my crap before this baby and...helping."

"Oh dearest me that sounds like dare I say, friendship!"' They gasped in mock surprise and laid a hand on their chest.

Catra shot them a scowl; it didn't last.

"Shut up before Adora gets up and misses another hour of sleep. Do you have any idea how she's been? I don't think she's even running on anything anymore like, everyday."

"Taking care of you I'd assume. Go on am I right?" Double Trouble asked (with a wiggle of their eyebrows of course) as if they were on the verge of a delicious secret. For all Catra knew they probably did and could eat those.

"Don't read my damn mind." She replied resting her chin on her palm.

"Darling, Catra, enough moping. Having to kick you in the rear like this when you of all people are making kittens is a bad look. Times have changed; you're not that hollow eyed puppet I knocked sense into back with the Horde. Be free, live a little, throw your kid wild birthday parties. And for the love of theatre get some better stylists for the two of you. I won't stand for a child who's moms aren't looking fabulous."

The whirlwind of gestures their hands made came to a stop. They stared yet again with that expectation bearing down on her. Catra read their eyes. It came from a good place; a place deep, deep past the snark. A veil of doubt that'd anchored in her fell away. Everyone had been kind no- was being kind. The cruelest thing they could do was throw a pregnant woman out to fend for herself and that was seven months too late. 'Or early. Weren't you found in a box? Weren't you out with the trash once time was up?'

She shuddered. No, it wasn't like that anymore, it had no right to be. No power over her; no power over her family. Catra grit her teeth and fangs flashed. She wouldn't let it. Without thinking a growl rumbled through her. Double Trouble clicked their tongue.

"Stress is extra bad for you right now Kitten. Just try to keep stepping out of that head of yours and see what's around for a change."

At last they stood and made to leave; Catra almost reached to stop them, then thought better. What more was there to add? They'd seen her for an open book. Instead she swallowed hard. The voice that called out to them bled sincerity.

"Thank you."

"Pay me back by making good choices darling."

Two weeks later she wriggles her toes on a beach in Mystacor. The sky shifts from twilight to orange dusk. She just knows she's counted the exact same number of clouds the past hour. The air is so clean it's her only barrier from passing out; every breath jolts energy beneath her aches. Adora's footsteps are easy to read when her ears perk. She wraps her tail around her at the feel of them sitting together.

Adora hums before reaching to stroke her belly. The kiss on her cheek is simple yet her blood dances in excitement. Their fingers lace together on the sand. It grounds them. Catra knows Bow is carrying something by the slightest drag in his gait; Glimmer (if you asked her Catra still had the right to call her Sparkles, Queen shit and everything aside) followed behind. The four of them were a crowd that made anything happen.

As if on cue the baby kicked. Whatever the others blathered about faded from her mind into white noise. Beside her time stopped for Adora too; this kid was already making them predictable. The wonder Catra watched spread across her face stayed fresh as ever. Glimmer and Bow went silent. She felt their eyes trace over, heard their breath hitch. She smiled.

"Can I feel it this time?"

"Glimmer you always ask that. Save room for Uncle Bow, who just so happens to have something I know they'll love!"

"My Aunt helped." Glimmer added behind a hand though Bow could hear her.

"Yes she did but only the clothes; these were all me. See for yourselves."

He revealed a set of dolls from a sack. Each were handwoven and stitched so well if she didn't know Bow she'd guess a machine's handiwork. Her breath hitched. Their likenesses were posed under his movements as Glimmer clapped with a giggle. Adora gasped, covered her mouth while her eyes watered. Big ol' softie her Adora was; yet she fought her own tears. The doll with her face wore a grin between cockiness and charm. The smarmy, ruthless, torn glare of her past self morphed on the silk in her minds eye. Its fangs were bared and its sneer cruel.

Catra shuddered and recoiled until she nearly toppled onto the sand. Her bug eyed stare at the thing matched her heaving chest. Nausea that chased a prickling sensation washed over her like a wave; a force of nature. Several deep breaths gave her some composure but the world continued to blur in a haze. Her heartbeat thrummed in her throat and hearing faded and-

And then Adora filled her vision; Adora held her tight until finally she went still. She felt her cheek cupped and fingers massaging through her hair. Though it had regrown thick as a mane despite reaching her shoulders Adora's nails found her scalp. Of course they would; she purred into the embrace and bit her lip to swallow a cry.

'Just try to keep stepping out of that head of yours and see what's around for a change.'

She blinked; the world popped back into place. They stared at her with faces on a scale from terror to worry; as if there were much difference. Bow's pleas about what was wrong stopped the instant her eyes dared linger on her doll again. He looked down and understood; away it went into the sack.

It wasn't the sentiment that upset her. He knew why. Words returned slow when he took her hand.

"I love it Bow, thanks, really; it's sweet of you. I'm sorry I...y'know. Need to keep working on myself."

"Hey don't apologize for that it's alright. I should be the one saying sorry; I didn't think it was still this bad for you."

"Whatever keeps bugging you we're here ok? No shaming, Horde Scum." Glimmer added with a smile that continued to forgive her more than Catra deserved in her opinion.

But if her own words couldn't be trusted, had she been shown forgiveness after all?

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Adora, always there to cut to the point. She found her voice.

"When I saw myself it's like realizing my kid's gonna idolize me. They're gonna grow up having me everywhere if I'm really with them or not. They might even say they wanna be like their mom. Makes a feeling come over me...who I was tries to tell me they'll find nothing to be proud of."

"Oh Catra. We can't not let you feel that way but what matters is you've changed. You keep changing everyday; look at you now! You're committed to motherhood for one, you and Adora are amazing together, you helped me with so much paperwork- c'mon Bow tell her."

Glimmer nudged Bow until he nudged back; he gave Catra a stare that pierced her doubts. She'd rarely seen anyone who captured the sensation of light poking through clouds. He deserved to be called a sun. She swallowed hard again. God, this baby had her emotional.

"You've come a long way. We chose and keep choosing to help. I know it's hard but don't let whats in your head overpower that. We care. You're not gonna go back to being who you were. If you do, we'd stop you because we want to."

"But, everything with Angella-"

Fuck she mentioned it. Why? She just had to bring it up didn't she? 'Do you enjoy shooting yourself in the foot?...' A squeeze on her arm brought her mind to a halt. Damn, Adora may as well have a license in reading her mood. Glimmer sighed from a deep breath. She watched her face knit into something between grief and acceptance.

Everyone went silent, hinged themselves on whatever Glimmer said next. When she spoke her voice came thoughtful yet blunt.

"My mother is gone. Because of you or not she's not here and wallowing in anger and self pity isn't going to bring her back. I'm sure if she saw me still doing it she'd be upset. I've had the years I needed for that; the Catra in front of me isn't the same who pulled the switch."

Glimmer put a hand on Catra's shoulder and smiled when it was welcome. Their eyes met and she saw Bow nod. Glimmer continued in her queenly voice this time; gone were any hints she spent hours practicing, her mother's strength rang clear.

"Don't discredit our choice to forgive. Trust us to stay honest with you and care. Trust yourself like I know you can. Now, let's rate how cheesy my Aunt's baby clothes look!"

Catra's senses returned as if popping back into existence. Just like that they jumped into the next discussion, the next joke, the next tease. She sat with no one but herself to blame; no one but herself for guilt to feast on. Was that it? Was she still trapped in time? How simple it'd been to get an answer for once, yet beside it came more than she understood. The baby kicked again. She sighed and touched her stomach.

"Sorry you've got an overthinking Mama kid."

Adora nudged her. She turned to find that contagious smile to reel her in.

"Hey they're right y'know. Everything is gonna be ok, I promise."

Promises sacred as they were didn't lessen the pain. Her vision blurred at another stab of pain, another push as her entire body pulsed. Her lower back had it the worst; every ounce of pain coursed from that white hot center until Catra was sure she'd been reduced to jelly, if she could ever see straight again. Another scream tore her throat. Her body arched.

The hiss Adora shot out as Catra's claws dug into her hand registered faintly. She could hear Entrapta babbling some science jargon. Scorpia's frantic voice came beside Entrapta's assembly of rumbling tech no doubt worried over everything; that still didn't help an entire baby kicking out of her. Didn't anyone get that? Now wasn't the time for anything other than whatever got this tiny person out.

Catra screamed and shook and writhed and no matter how many times Entrapta said push it blurred together. She let her head loll sideways in exhaustion. Adora stared at her seized by panic that could do nothing but watch, and hated it. It scratched at the unfocused rage gathering around her like storm clouds. Whatever she said fell hazy on Catra's ears because not a moment behind Catra yelled,

"Next time you're doing this; when this is over I'm kicking your ass AdorAHHGGUUHHH!!!"

Several deep breaths and pushes later a wail robbed anything she could say. Every voice stopped, every head turned and every ear strained. It came again. A high pitched wail echoed through the room. A baby's first cry. There was no time then; no past nor future only the moments for each cry hurled into the world. She watched a shape writhe in Entrapta's arms at the foot of the bed. A flash of metal later and the umbilical cord was cut.  

Everything remained a blur...then Entrapta handed her a squirming bundle. The baby rested against her easier than breathing. It was just, so right; one of the most right things Catra ever knew. Their fur matched her tan orange down to the slightly darker stripes. The hair is all Catra; she'd recognize that messy brown anywhere. It's when they blink at her for the first time, that's when Adora's blue eyes stare back.

Their hands are curled into fists and they fuss under her gaze. They blink once, twice, Catra finds herself counting everything. A purr deep enough to rattle them took her by surprise. At last her claws retracted from Adora's skin; she cradled their child between measured breaths. The instant she's released Adora doesn't waste a second coming closer.

They look at each other then their child then back again. Tears are the first thing they feel together followed by Adora's lopsided grin.

"Still wanna kick my ass?"

"Shut up and get in here dummy."

Catra's voice is hoarse but that doesn't lessen the spark in their kiss. Fingers tangle in Catra's sweaty hair and she's breathless when they pull away. There's a moment of silence until Entrapta gets the drop on them. Of course she does, she's Entrapta. They can spy the glint off her tape recorder.

"Just to confirm the baby is healthy at seven pounds eight ounces, a length of twenty centimeters, tail included, and a sex of male. Now the real question is have either of you chosen a name?"

The thick tendril of Entrapta's hair holding her recorder wiggles closer. Catra snarled on impulse and fought to not snap her teeth too.

"Don't hold that thing so close to Finn's face. The sound or whatever's gonna hurt his ears."

"Finn? You want to call him Finn? I thought you still weren't sure about any names." Adora said with the slightest confusion.

"Yeah I was but...I dunno it just feels right. Doesn't he look like a Finn? Hey Scorpia come over here! Does he or does he not look like a Finn?"

If it was possible for scorpions to move like they wanted to break the sound barrier without actually doing so, that was how Scorpia rushed over. Honestly Catra would laugh if she weren't cradling her son as if guarding her trove. Those enormous pincers are enough to shadow Finn's head as he attempts to swat one. Instead Adora gave him a finger to cling on. The tears streaking from Scorpia's eyes dripped waterfalls down her chin.

"Wildcat you're asking me what he looks like? Oh of course he's a Finn, look at that handsome little face and that tiny nose! And his hair! Catra that one is all you oh that stuff is gonna break so many combs I tell ya. He's even got his claws already; you guys have a mama's boy on your hands gosh. I remember when Flora hatched, ah good times..."

"Scorpia..."

"Huh? Oh sorry Wildcat yeah he's definitely a Finn! What'd ya think Adora? Entrapta?"  

"Hmm...Baby Log Day, well day of birth. Catra has asked me if her newborn resembles a 'Finn'. As the only knowledge I'm aware of regarding this relates to fish, I will say yes. Fish and their fins are something cats enjoy and thus it is logical."

The line of stares fixed on her made Entrapta press her recorder.

"Addendum, it is also very cool."

"Adora?" Catra called.

Every stare turned toward her awaiting a verdict. Finn gurgled and squirmed when she met his stare. There fell a moment of purest silence.

"Yeah. Finn is a good name. We'll get him ready to propel through life."

There was an echoing 'thwack' when Catra smacked Adora's hair poof; Adora's giggling poured out even as Glimmer, Bow, and every Princess they knew finally appeared. Catra's bed was rushed by a crowd acting like they'd never seen an infant. Then again, no one had seen anyone of Catra's race all her life. Not that she'd asked around.

"I'm so sorry we couldn't come sooner! The meeting ran into overtime but we're here now. Where's the baby?"

Glimmer moved through the parting crowd as she spoke; her body radiated energy while her eyes scanned around. She and Bow must've shared the same mind because they were the first to study Finn. Their jaws dropped.

"So. Darned. Cute. Those ears." Bow said. His eyes practically sparkled with joy.

Glimmer looked at Catra, then Adora with a face that fought a hold on restraint.

"You guys can hold him. Just don't crowd his space." Catra said smiling.

Those were the words that released whatever collective breath everyone held. Finn was passed around the room leaving praise and awe in his wake. Everyone had their own opinions; so much so that the buzz of their chatting built Catra's headache right as Finn was finally returned. Frosta was yelling about how to shape a commemorative ice sculpture; Perfuma created several bouquets now burying Adora. Bow, Entrapta, and Scorpia stood putting their heads together discussing proper baby nutrition over the next year.

When she checked Finn his face grew red then wrinkled and that's when it hit. A full strength wail. The kind of cry to break noise into silence and validate Catra's agitation. Something resembling peace slid over the tension settling in the air. Adora managed to roll out of the flowers before looking at Catra. A nod in response is all she needs to wrangle everyone away. When the door closes for the last time only the three of them remain.

Finn continued crying though nowhere as intense. Catra took a deep breath, then she held the infant face down, tucked his arms across his chest, and finished by holding his bottom. She had to give herself credit; not a single mistake, Perfuma may as well have done it for her. The cries quieted immediately and ceased when she gently rocked him. In a minute he lay snuggled on her chest. Sleep made his eyes fight to stay open though he soon lost.

"He curls up just like you."

"Yeah. We'll see if he keeps the whole castle awake with your snoring." Catra replied chuckling.

Adora is beside her in seconds with that lopsided grin. The bed gets crowded bearing the three of them but it'll manage.

"I'm not an awful snorer ok; everyone's gonna survive when they sleep. They've done it this long."

"So you admit it's a problem."

"No! Anyway that's not important look at his chubby cheeks. That's all him."

"Babe, I think that's something every baby has. Did you forget all seven of Scorpia's kids, or even Bow and Glimmer's daughter?"

"Of course not but you're not looking at them. We made those. They're perfect and adorable as much as the rest of him."

Adora stroked Finn's hair and nestled against Catra's side. Together they yawned then laughed.

"Tired?"

"I gave birth Adora of course I am."

"Heh, sorry. Nighty night you two."

She's long learned Adora's penchant for sleeping hard enough to make the dead jealous. How exactly she can turn it on and off yet thrash restlessly, still waking up then tackling an entire day? After years Catra might never know and, some days, didn't care to anymore. It simply was. That was Adora, always rushing to do everything, solve every problem, take every blow. No matter how much their loved ones- no matter how many times Catra told her otherwise some piece stayed. It was like an infection molded into Adora's skin.

God did Catra still hate it. If Finn inherited that...

Her body ached worse than getting dragged by rope. She would know; Glimmer had been the one pulling after all.  In those days of war and violence whipped into a storm this feeling was nothing new. Yet it was. Now there came a new tired setting on her bones. The tired from achieving something bigger than herself yet selfish in origin. Well, maybe the selfish part hadn't changed.

Maybe she really can be good not just do good. Adora began to snore as Catra let sleep claim her.

When Finn turns one year old Catra has settled into the race of parenthood. There's feeding time, nap time, diaper changing, the once a week checkups, and making a fool of herself so Finn laughs. One day passes with the funneled energy of several; no longer can she rise with the sun into a cage of rumination. Finn dictates her snapping awake on whims as random as the harried sleep itself.

She can't mope she just can't, he won't let her. He needs her and for the first time even beyond Adora, Catra accepts it. Not hesitating or doubting or anything else. Not the painstaking slip and climb over struggle after struggle until she and Adora were finally level. Finn right now is only a creature of needs; without her...she doesn't want to think further. There is finally someone for whom she can only give at the very beginning. The stress is worth it, it's not about her faults.

Perfuma notices of course. The way she walks ever eager into their meetings, even with eye-bags, stands far more confident than the hesitation that made her drag her feet. From the stares she gets now it's as if persecution and guilt lie only in her shadow. At least, that's what she thinks Perfuma means when one meeting she says,

"You look radiant Catra! Have you been keeping up with your personal letters?"

The morning light shines behind Perfuma making her hair resemble a glow. Combined with her chipper voice and pristine skincare (Seriously how did she keep up with seven kids at her heels?) Catra would be getting a headache right now. The old her would think Perfuma above her wielding such composure, such carefree grace. The her of the present instead replies weary but smiling.  

"I have. For real this time too. No more skipping days."

"Oh lovely, I'm glad you're coming around. Self reflection and forgiveness can be so liberating; never forget you're allowing yourself space and patience. Walk with me."

She's heard those words enough to make her head spin, but now they land in her heart. A warmth seeps in the way she thinks Perfuma always intended. If she had to reflect now as they pass Scorpia's gardens, she wouldn't call messy hair, tired eyes, and what might be clothes from two days ago radiant. Perfuma probably wasn't being literal.

The trails of Perfuma's green shawl (Seemingly more fluttery today than usual; like butterfly wings if she had to compare) stop inside a wide room. Catra knows which pillow to sit on and in seconds Perfuma is across her. Their eyes meet then close before performing a basic breathing exercise. One breath in and Catra gathers her worries, one pause, on the exhale her body relaxes.

Her eyes open and find Perfuma doing the same. The ear to ear smile on her face still unnerves Catra like a pinprick; it's strange to be so happy in a world built on entropy. Catra's allowed that hesitation, right? No she's being an idiot again; she's seen Perfuma a mess, back when Scorpia and all her people contorted under Horde Prime's marching orders, under the chips once burrowed in their flesh.

Regardless she'd never given up then. She hadn't been Catra running away the minute she projected doubt on Adora. She shook her head and sighed. This was getting nowhere. Of course for her part Perfuma sat in silence, waiting for as much time as Catra needed. She smiled shyly at that.

"Sorry got lost in reflecting I guess."

"It's alright Catra that's what we're here for. Do you want to share your thoughts?"

"I think you already know after this long." Catra licked her lips nervously.

"I don't mind listening."

A long pause. She read nothing but openness in Perfuma's eyes.

"You know I've said before I was jealous of you, unnerved even. How could anyone stay so happy when the world hurts? Well now I think I understand. There's no point in dwelling on my pain. Sure I can feel it, acknowledge it, but it'll pass again. Letting it control me when it's something I'll carry forever is exhausting. All I've done then is hurt myself when for once no one else wants to. That's what Finn's made me  realize."

She finished with a sigh and slackened shoulders; a woman spent at last of a pointless barrier. Isolation was no longer a badge of honor; it never had been. Perfuma wore genuine surprise like she'd heard something profound, not Catra stating the obvious. When Perfuma next spoke the words poured out afraid to stop. Afraid, Catra senses, that Catra will bolt away in embarrassment.  

"I'm proud of you that's the most you've shared all at once yet. And it sounds like it truly means self-love. You're allowing vulnerability and have accepted a truth. We are all works in progress."

"Thanks. I guess I have." The tears flowing down Catra's face make her voice wobble.

"Would you like a hug?"

With a nod Catra opened her arms and wept into Perfuma's dress; she wept the choked yet earnest sobs of a child. She felt a hand pat her hair.

"What happened when you were a child, it's not your fault."

There comes a pause where Catra stiffens then pulls back but not away. Her watery eyes glisten under the light while the rest of her trembles. Her lips quiver wanting to fight a new sob on instinct; it makes her teeth grit. None of it is hostile, Catra stares at Perfuma who again brings down the axe on the final barrier tainting her heart. Despite herself the words are out; Shadow Weaver installed that defense mechanism in her, denial.

"It is...it is."

"It's not your fault."

"But it is! I deserved it because I couldn't fight back!"

"It's not your fault."

"It...I...did."

Catra's face scrunched under the weight of the lie. She gets a solemn head shake in response. The sick sensation in her chest crumbles and her body feels no stronger than jelly. This time she clings back in Perfuma's embrace. She wails. Perfuma's reassurance pierces the scared girl inside gentle as sunshine.

"It's not your fault."

When the flood within her passes they mulled over tea. The silence now settled almost as comfortable as being with Adora. If Catra thought harder on it though, maybe silences themselves didn't need Adora to be good. Maybe the truth is Adora isn't the only bond to believe in; the others have waited on Catra long enough. She feels a pang of guilt at that. It flickers then dies when she hears the question,

"How are you and Finn? You mentioned him earlier."

"Kinda speaks for itself just looking at me y'think? But uh, sorry. It's been great; busy every second and sometimes I wanna tear my hair out but...in the end I really do like being a mom. It's not just about loving Finn and having him with Adora either. It's also like...I dunno..."

"Like starting over; a second chance?"

"Yeah...yeah I think it is." Catra smiled.

"The advice I can give for that is don't forget you're still guiding him. Parenting with compassion and trust will help you both, but he must find himself and make his choices."

She had nothing to add other than slight alarm. Then the weight behind the words settled, planted seeds in her thoughts. She stared out the window drinking her tea; her mind drifted and for once the peace of it wasn't strange.

When Finn is two years old he shivers in her arms. The storm sent another sheet of rain beating against the castle. Grey covers the window glass and another lightening flash dimly illuminates the room. In the span of a blink it's gone; Finn  mewled stuffing part of Catra's shirt in his mouth. Her hand ran through his hair. That seemed to relax his hold.

He looked up at her with Adora's wide blue eyes and for an instant Catra remembers being six, Adora's blanket her only comfort on nights like this.

"It's a thunderstorm Finn. I know it sounds scary but it'll pass ok? It always has before. You were too little to remember."

"Where's Mommy?"

She hears the fear getting ahold of him; she answers a touch too fast. It takes everything in her hoping he didn't notice.

"With Auntie Glimmer remember? They're meeting about adult stuff. We have to wait."

"I want her here."

"I know Finn, I know. She's coming. You're ok with me. Nothing bad will happen. Mommy's coming soon."

He nodded and though he whimpered he concentrated on Catra alone. At the next roar of thunder however he stiffened with his tail gone frizzy. The door opened bringing a stripe of light and Adora's unmistakable silhouette. Immediately Finn sprang out of Catra's arms to tackle Adora's legs. Catra hears her gasp then laugh softly as she kneels.

"Mommy! Be She-Ra!"

"Hey there to you too Finn. Why do you want She-Ra out?"

"Make bad sounds go away."

"It's the weather, I don't control that. Weren't you safe with Mama? Look she's waiting for us and I bet she stayed the whole time."

"But I want Mama and Mommy..."

Catra left bed and kneeled beside Adora. She ruffled Finn's hair; his tears were gone with a swipe of her thumb. Adora held his hands smiling while Catra went on.

"It's ok to be scared. We won't leave you not ever."

"Even when one of us isn't here with you, remember we love you. Think real hard about us when you're scared and all the bad stuff will go away."

Finn sniffled, swallowed, fumbled to speak those words they knew were sacred.

"You promise?"

"Yes." They reply together.

More thunder cracks the air signaling another swell of hissing rain. She watched as he froze squeezing his eyes shut. His hands balled into fists; he didn't flinch or cry when the storm gentled again. Now he stood trembling but no less brave. The warmth spreading through Catra was mirrored in the indescribable pride on Adora's face. She reached for her hand and it was held.

"Like that?" Finn asked, staring at them as if everything hinges on this moment.

"Just like that."

Catra kisses his forehead; it's no time at all until they hug him close. His heartbeat calms under their embrace and she purrs; it's always as hard as the day he was born. The purr she feels back widens her eyes then-

"Mama why're you crying?"

"She's happy you did it, right Catra?"

"Yeah...I'm happy Finn."

She shivers at Adora's kiss on her cheek. The touch of her breath tickling when she whispers almost makes Catra purr, for a reason neither can say aloud. She wraps her tail around Adora's wrist and listens.

"I'll get him to bed ok. Won't be long."

Catra mumbles her reply against her lips,

"I know."

They kiss and though it's a second before Adora pulls away, Catra knows peace.

At three years old Finn runs through the halls whooping and hollering. The stuffed bear glides through the air in his grasp. She knows Mr. Snuggles will need a wash when the day's done. Cupping her hands around her mouth she gently calls after.

"Don't run so fast you'll trip. Watch where you're going."

"Yeah Mama I know!"

Of course the thud she expected comes not an instant later. Even if he landed on carpet her blood pounds in panic; she sprints light on her feet toward his side. No second is wasted righting him from laying flat on his belly. She checks his arms, his legs, his face, the back of his head is fine too. He holds his wrist looking down ashamed.

"My head hurts."

"It's alright we'll get some medicine before seeing Mommy. Next time watch out ok? I might not have been here to help."

He nodded but still won't meet her eyes. Her expression falls. She sits with her hand giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze; her tail twitched nervously. Finn is silent. Far more than if he acted up or felt too embarrassed. The air itself feels heavier as if to breathe means starting a count down before down becomes up and left is right. Her voice shakes ever so slightly. Was this because of her?

"Finn? What's wrong? Does it hurt real bad?"

"Auncle Dee Tee told me something that made me feel funny. Flora and Angella said boys get hurt a lot when they play. B-But I like girl games with them too! When I fell I remembered what Auncle Dee Tee said."

"That's just silly there aren't 'boy' and 'girl' games. Just games. What'd Auncle say?"

"They said that too. They said nobody has to be a girl or boy if they don't want to. They said a big word like 'nuhncun-foming' I think."

She hears footsteps round the corner, a walk she could pick out anywhere. Adora stops then assesses; she wastes no time coming to them. Immediately her face is knit in worry and concentration. Catra knows that look better than herself. The look of a soldier, of years honed as a commanding officer, the look her fantasies once replicated dreaming of their conquest of Etheria...it's never appeared serene as it does now.

It reminds her not for the last time she's not alone.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt Finn? I knew I heard something bump on my way over."

"He tripped and fell but it's not serious. I checked already. He just has a headache."

"Good. C'mon let's go get medi-"

"Adora wait. He had something important he was saying. Finn? Can you tell Mommy what you told me?"

His expression finally lights up again; courage gathered when he stands straighter and stares at them firm.

"When I fell I remembered what Auncle told me. They said some people don't feel like they're just a boy or girl. My girl friends said boys fall a lot playing; I like their girl stuff where we don't fall a lot too! I wanna...I wanna be like Auncle. Auncle sounds like me."

They sat and the silence turned to awe. They glanced at one another then at Finn, who stood in utmost seriousness. Double Trouble's words floated to the surface of Catra's memories. She had to step outside her own head right? Well this time the world did it well enough for her. Adora as usual is the first to make a move.

"What do you want us to call you?"

"I'm Finn! I don't wanna be a boy or a girl I wanna be both! I wanna do everything I like as me. Can I be 'nunhcuhnfoming' too?"

To their surprise they chuckle as Finn looks on, conviction dropping into worry. Catra grinned and pulled Finn into a hug.

"You can be whatever you want kid including nonconforming. We're not gonna say no to anything like that."

"Do you want us to still call you 'He'?" Adora said in a tone that announces she's not worrying herself sick for once.

"Nuh uh! Auncle uses 'They'."

"Then that's what we'll use too. Thanks for telling us Finn."

Finn, they, beam from ear to ear. They picked up and dusted off Mr. Snuggles holding him close. They purr echoing through the hall; by instinct Catra joins in while Adora plants kisses all over Finn's cheeks.

"Does your head still hurt?"

"A little..."

"Let's go make it better then."

Finn is four when their troublemaking streak starts to shine. They let Adora chase them through the back gardens at a sprint. It's an unspoken dare to crown who's faster and watching from the sidelines, Catra doesn't need to guess it's Finn. Like what she imagined of any child of hers Finn scampers up a tree next. They wave a toy and blow a raspberry down at Adora who's panting for dear life. Her poor fool never stood a chance.

Adora stands hunched over, her finger raised to call a time out. She's still gathering her breath when Catra hears her force out words as she walks toward them both.

"Ok give Mommy a break for...five minutes...or forever. Ugh."

"You're too slow so I win!"

They watch as Finn sticks their tongue out again. Catra kneels to pat Adora's shoulder. She plants a kiss in her hair and grins.

"Hate to say it but I told you they'd beat you. Give it up Adora."

"I'll never...understand...how you two...do it...so unfair."

"Only She-Ra can win a race with me Mommy. If you're She-Ra it's really hard to keep up."

Still wheezing Adora glanced at Catra in defeat. A shrug is all she gets in response. Finn sits on a branch above them swinging their legs, the embodiment of confidence. Then they do something that throws off even Catra; they hang from their perch by the tail. Upside down Finn pays no heed to their gaping Mama and instead teases Adora with another raspberry. She falls on her ass yelping.

A choked giggle left Catra before rising to laughter. By the time she's full on snorting she rolls in the grass; upside down Adora scowls at them both but it's all in fun. The way she sees her blush makes her nerves go fluttery. She doesn't need to be told when their eyes meet and Catra knows it's mutual. Before anything can come of it Finn lands on the ground effortlessly.

She watches them tug Adora's sleeve; the fake modesty and flattering lilt they're piling on too thick gives them away. The fact that they can hold the performance this well is far more a Catra thing than Adora. She feels hesitant pride bubble within her. Could she have that knowing where it came from?

"Mommy my toy got stuck up there, can She-Ra get it? Because she's faster and stuff."

"Finn I can't keep transforming all week."

"Pleeease? It's the last day today; you said I could ask sometimes."

"Damnni-uh I mean I remember. Fine but only because you asked nicely."

Catra doesn't need to be an Entrapta-level genius to hear the unspoken, 'And because I totally lost too.' Finn definitely  hears it by the satisfaction in their grin. With a resigned sigh Adora straightened and stretched out a hand. From the bottom of her lungs she bellowed,

"For the Honor of Greyskull!"

A blinding light engulfed Adora from the outline of a golden sword. Catra still had no idea where it always came from. It was of course magic however; you never had to question that kind of thing. She figured that was why it felt comforting, familiar, compared to hard numbers. Most of all, she muses as the light dims, magic embodies everything Adora has been long before the sword.

The light leaves dissolving into rainbow trails. They outline She-Ra's massive form towering at eight feet. Her arms are almost as thick as the tree branches themselves when she begins to climb. Finn watched with their jaw hanging and eyes wide. Their fists rest against their teeth as if every transformation will be the last each time; the anticipation mixed with joy is almost palpable when it infects Catra.

She nudges them while Adora gets tangled in leaves. Finn's rapture breaks and they flash her a knowing smile.

"You love being sneaky huh?"

"She-Ra is cool!"

They look up together and find Adora fumbling not to fall. Though She-Ra carries a noble poise Adora is very much the one nervously sweating. Catra grinned.

"She's very cool."

Adora successfully lands without a scratch; the toy rocket is the size of a river stone in She-Ra's large hand. In an instant  it's back to scale when She-Ra is dismissed, a gold afterglow outlining Adora. It hits Catra then that Finn has grown at level with Adora's waist. When did that happen over the years?

"One missing toy rescued from an evil tree. It won't be eating any more any time soon."

"Thanks Mommy. No more She-Ra for a little bit."

"Right. Mommy needs breaks just like She-Ra does too."

Catra takes Adora's hand and wraps her tail around her. Her purr is soft though outmatched by the gentle kiss she gives her wife. She glanced at Finn who waits expectantly; the toy is already forgotten in favor of another game. Catra chuckles.

"Ok Finn you've had enough of bossing Mommy. This time I'll race you home."

"Loser has to give up dessert!"

"Sure kid. Ready set go!"

Like a bullet Catra sprints down the low hill; she barely hears Finn's call above the wind. In seconds they're right behind and she finds herself laughing carefree into the dusk.

Finn is five when their fur becomes their first taste of responsibility. Their tail is a mess of frizz most mornings; their thick hair resembles a mop fighting against every tame comb they own. Catra does her best to guide them, but she hasn't been five in twenty years. The memories since remain dark and pressed under the claws of greater horrors. Had she ever had time to brush herself seriously then? Not a relevant question; this isn't the time for self grieving.

Finn fusses, tries again, then scowls. They look at her with a plea in their eyes. Catra blinks then finds them slumping shoulders and lips quivering. Their hair seems messier than before for every wrong stroke. It takes her longer than she'd like to notice the budding tears.

"Hey it's ok we'll keep trying. It's hard at first but you can do it."

"Bet it's easy for you Mama."

"Why's that?"

"Because you never get messy. Your hair is always pretty."

Catra beckons and they come within her reach. She wipes their tears, smoothes their tangles best she can. They stare into her eyes with that intensity only they can muster.

"I used to be worse than you. When I was your age I had no one helping me."

"Not even Mommy?"

Catra laughed quiet and gentle, always gentle.

"She tried but she was as small as you. And we know Mommy doesn't look the same; she didn't know how. Do you know how old I was when I learned to keep my hair pretty? Really got good at it?"

Finn shook their head. She could sense the sadness give way to curiosity, to a rising hope.

"I was already a grown up. Wayyy bigger than you y'know? If it took me so long there's no rush. You keep trying until it works ok."

"Ok..."

"Let's start over. Just watch me first."

Time passes in a haze enough for her to learn Finn took after her old temper; step by patient step her hands once drenched in the blood of another life calm them to retry. They break for lunch and laugh together, their mistakes now harmless behind them. This, Catra has learned, is completion.

Princess Prom makes everyone nervous and excited equally. She watches Finn, taller than most other ten year olds, adjust their tie. She smiles remembering how many they'd tried on that morning without complaint. How when the right one came along they'd strutted prideful for her and Adora's opinion. They fidget flexing their hand and rocking on their heels. She can't blame them; the announcer's droning speech packs more formality than Catra thought was possible.

Put simply, it's boring, and they both fight a yawn. Adora doesn't notice them tap their feet together, one leading the other following, until another six minutes that pass like hours. She shushes them but when another minute crawls by she joins in. The three of them form a jagged rhythm while holding back giggles.

When the solemnity is done away with and the dance floor opens they lose Finn to their friends. She sends them off with a cheek kiss and Adora's blessing to have fun, then they're alone. They whisk themselves to the snack bar; she watches Adora gorge on tiny food like she's taken Entrapta's appetite for herself. Smirking as she leans against the table she knows Adora can feel her gaze.

"Alright Princess charge your battery any more and I'll dance by myself."

"Noa faish wahit fo me!" Adora forced out through a mouthful.

"Hey easy there. What's that translate to?"

Adora swallows hard and snorts at her.

"I said no fair wait for me. Now you're getting payback."

"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try."

Before she can register it a cupcake is smashed into her mouth. She can hear Adora laughing even when Catra serves one back in retaliation. By the time they've wasted three cupcakes they don't hear Scorpia saunter over. They nearly tumble face first into her serving tray.

"Whoa slow down guys! Party just started to get so worked up. You two sure love having fun."

"Sorry Scorpia didn't see you there. Catra wants to hurry and dance; I want to savor what Entrapta had prepared tonight."

Catra stuck out her tongue and laughed when Adora elbowed her side in jest. When they look over Scorpia has forgone food entirely. She stares at them, her eyes glistening from would be tears.

"You guys are just adorable did you know that?"

"You remind us all the time." Catra replied and wrapped an arm around Adora.

"Actually uh, on second thought, I've got icing down my dress. Excuse me ladies."

Adora gives her a peck of a kiss before disappearing. Catra watched her go spellbound by the soft lights cast on everyone. Adora's outline is dreamlike, Catra can hear her breath hitch. Then far too suddenly she's gone. It's funny, she no longer feels the pain that once tore through her fast as lightening. Maybe parting no longer means goodbye. She knows she always knew.

"Y'know Wildcat I gotta say I've never seen you look this happy. Well happier than that time in the Crimson Wastes. Oh or when Finn was born. It's nice."

"Heh. We're in the same boat then. I can't even tell when it started."

"Wanna know how I can tell this time?"

The intensity in Scorpia's tone made Catra straighten. She stopped trying to eat another cupcake and met her gaze.

"It's the eyes. They're so clear these days. They're empty, not in a bad way. Like...it's like you can take on anything. You've got resolve but it's not angry."

"Calm?"

"Yeah. Calm and whole. That's some strength even I don't think I have yet. Your eyes can see through anything."

"Geez way to praise a girl. I think I get it though. Adora's been saying something similar. Glimmer, Bow, Perfuma...everyone brings it up somehow. They act like I'm supposed to know just haven't told them." Catra smiles around a bite of her snack. It was achingly sweet yet she closed her eyes and tasted the love put in.

"Of course they see it too. Every truly strong person is kind."

Catra's eyes widen. For a moment she moves as if to speak then instead smiles, content. Her heart feels light as a feather.

She spots Adora returning through the crowd. Everyone parts reverently for the savior of the galaxy; to Catra it's another homecoming. They don't need the titles or praise; at last having each other, having themselves, is enough.

Scorpia takes her leave just as Adora emerges. The teasing look she wore before is replaced by excitement; the kind that simply is because it can be. Without prompting she offered Catra her hand. She's seen this scene countless times in as many settings. She takes it.

"Ready for that dance I owe you?"

It happens in an instant; Catra reads her eyes. They're calm, resolved, kind. Her reflection stares back within their clarity. She smiles. She hopes Finn will have those eyes someday.

"Always am."

#my writing #spop #catradora #glimbow #scorfuma #finn spop

[fanficgenerator112]

Chapter 2

Catra’s POV

I look up at Adora and frown. “Hey, why are you crying?” I stand up and cup her cheek. “A-are you mad at me?”

“No, no I could never be mad at you. I just, wish you had come to me sooner. I know talking through all of this is hard for you, it is for me too, but I’ll always love you. No matter your choice.” Adora looks at me defeated. Despite her tear filled eyes she looks beautiful.

“What do you mean? A-are you breaking up with me? Adora I can’t lose you! Not again..” She takes my hands and smiles sadly. I look away, hating the way she’s looking at me.

“You heard what Perfuma said. We’re not compatible. We’re too similar.”

“She never said that. She said we-we need to talk. That’s all.” I pull her into my chest. “Adora I will never leave you, I lost you once. Never again. We just need-”

“To be open with each other.” She sighs and kisses my chest. I look down at her and kiss her hairline knowing that no one is around us. “I love you, I always will but...” She takes a deep breath, “We need someone else,”

“We?” 

“Yes, we. I love you and I’m not losing you but we don’t ‘complete’ each other,” She makes air quotations and stands up straight. “Look at Perfuma and Scorpia, Scorpia is strong and protective of Perfuma but whenever Scorpia’s strength gets out of hand Perfuma is there to calm her down from a panic attack. And Glimmer and Bow, Glimmer is always jumping into things and Bow is there to keep her steady.”

“We’re both impulsive and act on our feelings. We need some one to ground us..”

“A third..” She smiles shyly. “Perfuma and I were throwing around that idea but we didn’t know how you would react. I know how possessive you can be.”

I stay silent for a second tossing the idea around in my head. I never wanted to share Adora when we were kids but sharing someone with her and that person being for both of us. That might not be a bad idea. Someone to look after us when we’re too tired to do it ourselves. A kind, caring, and gentle person. The complete opposite of us.

“I agree but, we decide together. Ok?” I finally speak up just as Adora starts to get worried. “It’s a decision we have equal say in. And no jumping in and scaring the person ok? We have to let them choose us too.”

“I completely agree.” Adora pecks me on the lips and smiles. “We’ll talk more tonight but for now they’re starting the actual meeting and we need to be there.”

“Psh whatever. They just need She-Ra there. Big scary 8 foot tall blonde lady to the rescue.” I take her hand and start walking back to the war room.

“You need to give yourself more credit. You were always better than me at figuring out strategies. Even Octavia was impressed with you.”

I giggle softly and blush. “I forgot about her. I wonder what she’s doing, I wonder what all of the horde soldiers are doing now.” I look toward the Fright Zone a small frown forming on my face.

“I’m sure we’ll find them one of these days.” Adora gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.

We walk back into the room and see the newly reappointed King Micah sitting at the head of the table with Sparkles next to him and Arrow Bow next to her. 

“Ah, finally!” The king stood up when we entered. Adora and I on the opposite side of the king and Sparkles smiles at me. I shyly return the gesture. She really doesn’t need to pretend to me my friend anymore. “Now we can begin. So, with the defeat of Horde Prime being almost a month in the past I think all of us have had time to rest and recharge and we should get started on rebuilding Etheria.”

“Starting with Brightmoon!” Sparkles buts into her dad’s speech, nothing new there but all the princesses start arguing.

“We should start with the woods! They took the biggest hits!”

“What about Mystacor? The Sorcerers tore that place apart when they were chipped!”

“Um what about Salineas? The Horde totally destroyed my kingdom and I would like as much help as possible putting it back together.”

“QUIET!” Everyone looks at King Micah and sits back down. “We need to asses the damage and figure out the best plan of action. We have to approach this in a way that makes the most sense for all of Etheria. I agree that Salineas has suffered the most due to it being controlled even before Horde Prime arrived.”

“And what about all the rouge clones here and across the galaxy?” I cross my arms and lean forward. “We’re going to have to figure out whether or not one if them is going to try to rise to power like Prime, or if they’re as harmless as Wrong Hordak.”

Adora nods and chips in. “We also need to figure out what supplies are needed in the raided villages and how we can get them what they need.” She looks towards Mermista. “I wholeheartedly believe that Salineas took the biggest fall seeing as it was destroyed before Prime arrived-”

“Yeah, by your girlfriend.” I shrink in my seat as Mermista glares towards me. “We’re gonna need all the help we can get rebuilding it.”

“Hey back off of Catra okay? She has helped the Rebellion more than most since she joined. She even saved the universe from the releasing of the heart.” Perfuma pipes up to defend me. “She has paid for her past actions and is living with the consequences.”

“Paid how exactly?! She waltzes around here like she owns Brightmoon and no one bats an eye! She hasn’t done anything. We should just-”

“I get it!” I interrupt her feeling everyones eyes on me. I shrink back into my seat. “I haven’t done anything to gain your trust, nor do I deserve it.”

“Catra,” Sparkles starts to protest.

“No it’s true, saving you and saving Adora are small good deeds compared to the damage I did while with the Horde. I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I will work hard until I do.” I take a deep breath and turn to Mermista. “Starting with helping you plan how to best rebuild Salineas.” I smile softly, “It’s the least I can do.”

Mermista scoffs but sits back down. “It’s a start I guess.” Her boyfriend, Sea Bird I think is what Adora called him, grabs her hand and kisses it.

“Now that that’s dealt with we should begin planning,” King Micah turns on the hologram table and highlights different points on the map. “These are the areas that were most effected by the Horde. I suggest we begin in Salineas and work our way west ending in Brightmoon seeing as we suffered the least amount of damage here.”

“We should avoid the Fright Zone until Scorpia decides what she needs help with seeing as it’s her kingdom.” Perfuma looks fondly at Scorpia. 

“Oh, yeah of course. I’m not quite sure what running a kingdom takes but I’ll do my best!” Scorpia grins at everyone and I give her a reassuring smirk.

“I agree. Scorpia needs to come into her own as a leader,” Sparkles smiles at her, “And we will be here to help you as you learn.”

“Aww thanks guys! You are the best friends ever!” 

I look down at the table and notice how many villages were under Horde control. I recognize most of the names as ones I helped conquer. A chill runs down my back as I think about how many people lost loved ones like I almost lost Adora.

“Hey, you ok?” Adora takes my hand gently squeezing it.

“No, I just,” I take a deep breath. “I caused so much heartache and terror to all the people of Etheria, I don’t think they’re going to like the idea of a ex Horde soldier helping fix their towns.”

“Hey, whatever happens we go through it together. You’re not alone anymore Catra.” Adora kisses my cheek and half the princesses ‘aww’ at us.

“Hey! Mind your own business,” I blush bright red, my tail puffing out. I see Arrow Boy out of the corner of my eye getting that look on his face. “Bow I swear to God if you call me cute one more time I will claw your eyes out!” I extend my claws for emphasis. 

“I’m going to ignore that threat because you just called me my name and not ‘Arrow Boy’!” He smile widely and rushes over to pull me into a hug.

“Ah! Let. Go!” I try and push his hands off me. “Adora a little help here!” 

Adora just giggles and joins the hug followed by Sparkles. 

“No! No! Quit it Sparkles!” I scowl ignoring the warm feeling in my heart. All the princesses are laughing but not in a mean way like Sh-, like she did. They look like they love us. It’s probably just for the three dummies but I can’t stop the small smile that rises to my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N

1550 Words

Wow that was a long chapter. Do you guys prefer them long or would you prefer shorter? Comment and let me know! Next chapter will be Adora’s POV so stay tuned for that!

Thanks for reading Lovelies!

<3 M.

[sheblah]

OK I'm apparently not done talking about this. Here I'm going to expand on my meta that DT's motivation = survival and all else is just a byproduct.

Lots of people have commented that Double Trouble does what they do purely for drama, or chaos, or because they just love destroying lives. It's as valid an interpretation as any, I guess, but I don't agree with it. They are certainly manipulative, but I don't think this trait is incidental to their personality; it's very much intentional on DT's part. If put together with other clues, I think it reveals something very different about them.

What I propose is that ultimately, DT's goal in life isn't to cause drama or have fun at other people's expense (bear with me). Their goal is to survive - or more accurately, to maximize survival chances - and they have a very meticulous way of going about it.

First I want to take a broad look at the elements that shape DT's personality and motives. This might involve some speculation, since we don't know anything about their early life and very little about their internal thoughts, but I'll stick to onscreen evidence as much as I can. What we do know is that they first appear in the Crimson Waste. I choose to assume they live there and have done so for an indeterminate time before their first appearance. And in the Crimson Waste, the strong make the rules. Not everyone can be the "strongest in the Crimson Waste." Most people just have to be strong enough to survive on their own, or else join up with the strongest like Huntara's goons or Tung Lashor's lizard gang. Since DT isn't ostensibly allied to any group in the CW, they're probably the former. And their strength isn't muscle; it lies in deception, observation, and manipulation. As a shapeshifter, they're naturally predisposed to that sort of skillset. They probably started their career of deception by shifting to blend in and escape danger, and then expanded the applications of that ability into eavesdropping, information gathering, and eventually espionage. Their best strength is knowing more than everybody else, and knowing how to use that information.

Let's go back to S4E2 for a moment. This is the first time we see DT:

They're looking down at Adora, Bow, Huntara, and Perfuma. In retrospect I thought this was odd, since they then proceed to approach Catra, not the heroes. They don't interact with the heroes until Catra has them do their "audition." Why show DT watching them? I think, in this moment, DT is choosing which side to join. For at least a moment, they consider offering their services to the Rebellion instead. We also know this because they mention the possibility to Catra.

Now my opinion is biased towards a morally gray interpretation of the character, but to me this is a pretty big hole in the popular rhetoric that DT is evil for the lulz. Why even think about joining the "good guys" if all you want is chaos and destruction? The Rebellion is about stopping all that noise. And why consider them first? We don't see DT watching Catra and sizing her up.

But before we get to that, we have to ask: why get involved in the war at all? What would drive them to leave the Crimson Waste and seek employment in the wider wartorn world of Etheria? I posit that it's because the Waste is no longer survivable.

In that episode, we see that the Valley of the Lost is crawling with Horde soldiers.

They're terrorizing the denizens of the desert. Now these are mostly hardened criminals who aren't easily terrorized, but the Horde has armor and weapons and numbers on their side. As Huntara puts it, "It wasn't always like this. It used to be a great place, where an honest criminal could carve out a life." When she says this, it's news to her; from what we can tell, she's been living in Bright Moon for awhile. But everyone else there has just been living with this new state of affairs however long the Horde has been in their valley - and it's probably been awhile since they have a whole warehouse set up. It's reasonable to assume DT has been suffering from the Horde's presence as much as anyone else who lives there. How can you make a living gathering intel when there are soldiers around every corner interrogating everyone?

It's simple, actually: if you can't beat them, join them. Or maybe join their enemies.

I think they don't have great choices at this point - either keep working and hope that business picks up while ALSO avoiding the aggressive soldiers, or get involved in a war that you and your home have avoided thus far. The choice that gives them the best chance to keep making money - and, you know, living - is to get involved with the war one way or another.

So then, why pick the Horde way? Also simple.

From where DT is standing, the Horde is winning. They have sophisticated technology, abundant resources, and enough soldiers that they can afford to station a few dozen in a remote desert town. Who does the Rebellion send to steal the ship back? Three kids and a former gang leader. And oh sure, one of them is She-Ra, but what's one superpowered princess against an army? Any way you look at it, the Horde's forces are more impressive.

So they offer their services to the Horde first, with the rebels as a backup in case the Horde says no.

So, let's summarize up to this point. Pretend you're DT. You make your living as a spy, but suddenly a powerful presence takes your town by storm and completely disrupts everyone's daily lives. Finding clients becomes difficult, and actually doing the work is next to impossible when the streets are clogged with armed aggressors. Your income starts drying up. You can't avoid the war anymore - the war has come to you. So you decide to join it. You spot a handful of outsiders trying to avoid attention and figure this must be the Rebellion's forces. It's four people versus dozens of armored soldiers with enormous resources. You pick the stronger side. But now you've gone from working with petty thugs to working with literal warlords, and that's a hell of a dangerous position to be in. If you piss off your employer, you just might die. So. How do you cover your ass?

By getting the dirt.

Because that's your strength. That's how you survive. By manipulating the people who could hurt you. By gathering information that could hurt them so bad they couldn't even retaliate. And, hey, you don't necessarily gather this information with the intent to use it - but if the crap hits the fan and you do something that'll get you on a tyrannical world leader's naughty list, well, you need something to defend yourself with. For you, information is the best weapon.

That explains why they're so determined to get in Catra's skin. They want to know what makes her tick, her strengths, her weaknesses, her obsessions. It's not just for the love of acting. These are all bullets that they can use to bring her down if need be. And when they decide to switch to the other side? Need be.

Giving Catra that devastating speech has multiple effects. I think a part of them really does care about Catra and wants to be honest with her. But my theory is that they're mainly trying to get one important message across:

Don't try to retaliate for this betrayal. I know enough to destroy you without throwing a single punch.

As an ending note, I want to examine that line above. "The best way to survive is always choose the winning side." As amusing as the "would sell you to satan for one corn chip" memes are, that's not actually the sort of attitude they have about betraying Catra. They're not talking about getting a reward here. No mention of superior pay is made. They're not saying they destroyed everything she's worked for on a lark (although they may have had a lark in the process). They're talking about literal survival. The basic gift of continuing to stay alive. That's what they betrayed Catra for. They do the math in that cell in Bright Moon, figure they're on the losing side of the war, and decide what they're getting from the Horde isn't worth getting killed over. Anything else they get out of it is incidental.

Mind you, none of this is meant to imply that they don't enjoy messing with people's heads. There's abundant evidence that they do. Rather, my point is that they probably learned how to manipulate people not as a hobby, but as a vital survival skill... and probably long before they learned to enjoy it.

#double trouble #catra #meta #analysis #she ra #spop #long post

[shera-dnd]

Catra and Adora’s Tome of Love

That is both the longest I’ve spent writing a fic and the longest fic I’ve ever written, but here it is: D&D AU’s official Trash Wedding Fic™, because that is exactly what we all needed in preparation for the emotional roller coaster of the next season. 

Very few people would be glad to spend their saturday running errands around a bunch of tents in the middle of the woods, but Glimmer was one of those people and she had good reason for doing so. Two of her best friends were about to get married and she would do everything in her power to make sure this would be the perfect wedding.

She didn’t know whose idea it was to make the entire ceremony D&D themed, but she both loved and hated that person. Loved because she got to rock a cape along with her favorite purple dress and hated because getting the outfits, decorations and renting the damn LARPing space, was a logistical nightmare that she was a part of from the very beginning. Curse her good nature.

Chairs were set, decorations were placed, food was tested - for legitimate reasons, of course - now she just had to check on the brides before they both instantaneously combust. She was halfway to one of the little dressing room-tents when she was stopped by the familiar voice of the GM calling her name.

She turned around to see them covered in a black robe, with a hood that covered their face. She tried to suppress a giggle at that. Well, it made sense if everyone was dressed as their characters then of course they would dress as the mysterious figure orchestrating it all “How do I look?” they asked and was that the wrong question to ask.

“Like you’re ready to stab a hobbit”

“That bad?” They sighed “Go do your thing. I’ll try not to disappear into the lake in shame before I have to officiate all of this”

“Ok then. If you see Bow tell him to go check on Adora” They just nodded and left. Now back to her original mission: Making sure Catra did not explode. She quickly jogged towards Catra’s tent and was greeted by the sounds of an angry Catra and a - mostly - calm Angella.

“Just calm down, Catra” She heard Angella say “The dress looks fine”

“Of course the dress looks fine. It’s my dress and I’m wearing it. That is not the point” Catra shouted back “The point is that this is uncomfortable and dresses are the worst”

“Then just put away the dress and we can find you one of those tuxes you like so much” Angella tried to bargain, but it would fail. Catra was in full aggro mode.

“Fuck you, this is my wedding and I’m gonna look like a goddamn fairy princess if I want to and I fucking want to”

Glimmer took a deep breath to prepare her nerves and finally walked into the tent. She found Angella trying her best to stay calm and collected while dealing with a Catra that was clearly nearing a meltdown “Boss, why don’t you go check on Casta? I can handle it from here”

“Ah yes, I should make sure she doesn’t dehydrate from all the crying” She got up and gave Glimmer a little pat on the shoulder “Good luck” she mouthed to Glimmer as she left. Great, now she was the one dealing with Catra losing her shit.

They both stared at each other in silence for a moment “So….how are you holding up?” Glimmer tried.

“How does it look like I’m holding up?”

Ok, bad start. She had to fix this mess “Catra, it will be fine. You-”

“No it won’t be fine. Have you any idea of in how many ways this could end badly? I do. I have been thinking about it all day” Catra shouted. Oh god there was no way to stop her now “It could start raining, I could fall and ruin my dress, my parents could show up. The list goes on”

Glimmer sighed “It’s gonna stay sunny all week, I’ve known you for five years and never seen you even stumble, and your parents don’t even know you’re getting married - which is weird and you should deal with that, but that is besides the point! - The point is that I’ve seen you and Adora salvage even the most absurd situations and if all that stuff does happen I know you two can handle it”

Glimmer didn’t even realize she had started clenching her fist mid speech, but it was adding the emphasys she needed, she wanted Catra to know how serious she was about her trust on her and Adora. So she was a caught a little off guard when Catra started laughing “Are you seriously pulling an ‘anime power of love’ speech on me?” Ok not the reaction she wanted, but at least she isn’t yelling anymore “Alright, Sparkles, I think I can handle it from here. Go check on Adora for me”

“Don’t worry, I had Bow check on her before coming here” Glimmer stated with certainty, but Catra’s raised eyebrow made her question that decision “Oh god, she is probably the one taking care of him now. Time to go save the bride, I guess” Catra laughed one more time, before turning back to her preparations. This was gonna be a big day and Glimmer would make sure it was perfect.

~~~

Catra may have had a meltdown or two or twelve in the last twenty four hours, but really who doesn’t have some of those before their wedding? This was all just a side effect of how meticulous and dedicated she was in every aspect of her life. She was clearly not just a pile of screaming emotions right now and maybe if she kept repeating all of this to herself she would stop freaking the fuck out. This was basically the most important day of her adult life and she wouldn’t let anyone get in the way of that, including herself.

She looked herself over in the mirror one last time. Even though she hated wearing that damn thing, she had to admit that she looked great in her new dress. Entrapta really outdid herself with this one. Turning a stealth uniform into a delicate wedding dress took some skill and the bouquet she was carrying didn’t look all that bad either, the flowers were chosen as a joke, but Perfuma still managed to make it fit everything else. Yeah, things were looking good, she didn’t have to worry so much about things, she would walk out there and marry the woman she loves.

Things stopped going according to plan the moment she stepped out of the tent. She was supposed to walk down the aisle on her own, but Angella was - for some reason - waiting for her, so she just lend her her arm and smiled like this was all part of the plan “What the fuck are you doing?” Catra whispered.

“Glimmer told me your family wasn’t gonna show up and I wanted to show you some support” Angella answered so quietly Catra could barely hear it. Catra was halfway through mentally listing all the possible insults towards Angella, but that had quieted her down.

“Thank you” Was all she had to say and continued to walk with her emergency mom.

Friends and family - mostly friends really - flanked them on either side. All dressed in RPG parodies of formal clothing, suits covered by capes, armored dresses and more pointless belts than a Final Fantasy character. They were all stood around them in no particular order, they were all great friends to the both of them so choosing a side seemed quite pointless - Adora’s twin brother, Adam, did sit on Catra’s side just to spite his sister - and atop the altar, by the lake, stood something breathtaking.

No, not the GM looking like they were ready to steal Kingdom Hearts, but a shaking, nervous Adora, trying so hard to look regal in her clothes and damn what were those clothes? That white and gold suit was already gorgeous, but of course Adora decided to be as extra as possible and just cover her entire right arm in golden plate armor. Catra could barely believe she was gonna spend the rest of her life with someone that beautiful and that dorky and by the look on Adora’s face she couldn’t believe it either.

After reaching the altar it took everything in her not to start crying immediately, but she managed. She was at least gonna get her vows out before breaking down in tears. “You may all sit down now” The GM had begun speaking “Dearly beloved, you’ve been summoned here today to witness these two nerds join together in holy matrimony” Catra could barely hear their speech, but knew it was probably snarky or silly, she was too busy looking at her beautiful bride in her beautiful suit and praying that this moment wasn’t all just a dream.

“I think you said you wanted to say your vows first” Adora whispered to her. Oh shit, did they get to that part already? Ok she practice this, she could handle it.

“A wise man once told me that ‘excellence is pure habit, we are what we repeatedly do’ I took that message to heart. Everything I did I put my all into it. My hobbies, my work and, most importantly, my relationships. Because being good at something and having a good relationship takes habit, takes repetition, it is something you have to practice everyday and everyday there has been nothing I’ve practiced more and that I’ll continue to practice more than loving you. Then if we really are what I repeatedly do, I promise you that for the rest of my life what I am, most of all, is this love I have for you”

She could hear Bow and Glimmer crying nonstop and could even see tears in Adora’s eyes. She wondered for a moment if this speech would’ve had the same effect if they knew the ‘wise man’ was a boss from a video game.

Adora had to take a few deep breaths to recover her composure and start taking her own vows “Hey, Catra” Adora began, getting a few laughs from the crowd and even from Catra “I’m not a good writer so bear with me for a second” she took another deep breath “Of all the dozens and dozens of campaigns that we played our characters always had one thing in common. We were always lost, no family or friends to help us and guide us through all the hardships in life, but they always had each other. In the end the only family they needed was each other. It was like this in Ravenloft, The Forgotten Realms, Halcyon City, Eberron and now it will be like this here. We’ll be there for each other through every celebration and through every hardship. This I promise to you”

Ok Catra could cry now, she really needed to cry now. Oh she was crying now and there was nothing she could do to stop it. “Are you okay, honey?” Adora asked her and Catra could do very little besides sob, so her answer was a little less coherent and controlled than she wanted “Fuck you! This is my wedding and I get to ugly cry as much as I want”

Adora smiled at her and Catra just wanted to cry even more now. She barely noticed Frosta approaching with their rings. Copper for Adora and Gold for Catra. Each matching the other’s color scheme. They were both shaking as they put the rings in each other’s hands.

The GM cleared their throat “If anyone objects to this union speak now-” She could see Adam getting up in the corner of her vision, please don’t let Adora’s stupid brother make a scene “and face one of the brides in combat” Adam immediately sat down “No one? Very well. Then by the powers vested in me by the internet I hereby declare you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride”

It was a simple and chaste kiss, compared to all the others they had shared, but this one meant so much more. Their first kiss as a real couple “Are you feeling better now?” Adora asked and Catra could only nod “Good, let me handle things from here” She dipped Catra and gave her a much more passionate kiss. She was vaguely aware of the GM covering Frosta’s eyes.

“God, you’re so full of yourself right now” Catra said, laughing.

“I’m full of love” Adora punctuated with another kiss and now Catra had gone from uncontrollable crying to uncontrollable laughter.

“Come on, you dork, we have a whole day ahead of us” She straightened her self as best she could and looked into the small group of close friends and family “Listen up, who wants some Protection From Evil and Good?” she announced while waving her bouquet around and even though most didn’t get the joke, no one wasted time gathering close to the altar for a chance to grab that bouquet.

Catra turned around and tossed it with all her strength. Which was probably not a good decision, because it flew above everyone’s heads and straight towards Mermista. Catra wished she had a camera on her, both to capture the look of shock and horror on Mermista’s face and what she did next. Not even Mermista knew what kind of dumbass reflex took over her that moment, because she simply gave that bouquet the strongest kick of her life and sent it flying straight into the lake.

Everyone stood in stunned silence at what had just transpired. Mermista turning several shades of red as everyone stared at her in awe. “I’ll get it” Sea Hawk announced, taking off his shirt and diving into the lake. That was enough to turn the silence into rolling laughter. The crowd applauding as a very wet Sea Hawk emerged with the mostly ruined bouquet and a flower in his mouth for dramatic effect.

“I think Mermista and Sea Hawk just stole our wedding” Catra said, still in awe at the mess she just witnessed.

“Let’s go steal it back”

~~~

After the ceremony itself was done they had all retreated to a nearby ‘Authentic Old Inn’ that was one of the big selling points of this particular LARPing space. Catra had gone off to help with some last minute problems, while Adora decided this was a great moment to yell at her twin.

“You’re so dead, Adam. I don’t care how funny you thought that was gonna be. Even if the GM didn’t mention the duel I would still let Catra kick your ass”

“Relax, I was just messing with you and also Glimmer pulled me down the moment you looked at me” Adam laughed as he answered “I haven’t seen you in ages. This is just me making up for lost time”

Adora rolled her eyes “You are the worst” She didn’t completely mean it, but she was still gonna give him a hard time. She also had to make up for lost time after all.

“Now care to catch me up on this? Five years ago you were complaining that you would probably have to move just to avoid that ‘annoying bitch’ at the game store and now you’re married to her” God, Adora was regretting inviting him.

“First, only I get to call my wife that. She is a bitch and I love her, and second-” Her train of thought was disrupted by the sound of mic static. She turned around to see Catra awkwardly standing next to Sea Hawk’s DJ stand with a mic on her hand.

“Hey, Adora, I know this isn’t exactly what we had planned and this isn’t exactly what people expect from a first dance, but after all this time practicing it just felt wrong to celebrate all of this without me at least singing you something”

Adora was frozen in place as everyone around her opened up space for her. She couldn’t believe Catra was doing that, but she had no objections to any of it. Catra gave Sea Hawk a thumbs up and closed her eyes.

You make me breakfast in bed

When I'm mixed up in my head

You wake me with a kiss

I could get used to this

For a moment there was only Catra in her world, as she slowly walked towards her.

You think I look the best

When my hair is a mess

I can't believe you exist

I could get used to this

She took Catra’s hand in hers and pulled her close as she put down her microphone. “Oh you think just because you’re wearing a suit this time you’re gonna lead?” Of course Adora didn’t think that, they had practiced the whole dance with Catra taking the lead, but Adora didn’t mind letting Catra get her ego boost.

The song was fast and intense, there was plenty of spinning and dipping and lifting and by the end of it they would both be out of breath. In a really stupid way it kinda mimicked their relationship. Well, that was Catra’s excuse, but they both knew she really just liked the song.

When the song finally slowed down they were holding each other very close. The plating on her right arm was getting uncomfortable and she had really started sweating in that suit, but she didn’t care. Right now all she cared for was the woman in her arms and the feeling of their hearts beating so close together. Catra would absolutely hit her with The Pillow if she said any of that out loud...she should probably do that later tonight.

They parted just enough to look in each other’s eyes, just enough to talk to one another “Wanna skip all that other shit and go get something to eat? I’m fucking starving” Catra sure knew how to make a woman feel special.

“Thought you’d never ask. No one told me this would take so much time” They both laughed at the silliness of it all “Just hold on a second, I need to grab something” She was already eyeing that something and Catra was quick to pick up what that was.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to do that” Catra sighed, but Adora was already doing that. She grabbed the replica Sword of Protection off of the wall and started making her way to their wedding cake. Catra rolled her eyes “Let me help you with that. I don’t want you cutting your fingers off before our wedding night”

They huddled up close around the cake so they could both hold the sword. The cake was small and simple compared to the crazy stuff they usually saw on tv, but it was special. Sitting atop of it were the two miniatures Bow made for them for the Princesses of Power campaign. A mini She-ra and a mini Catra, holding hands - or the closest they could get without damaging the miniatures - Adora was trying her best not to accidentally cut into the miniatures, the table or herself, she really had to thank Catra for the help later.

Carefully they cut a small slice from the cake. Catra put it aside and grabbed the sword to cut Adora her own slice, but Adora stopped her. She started cleaning the frosting from the blade, just to wipe her hand clean on Catra’s nose, cheeks and lips. She looked shocked for a second, but Adora was quick to fix it, by kissing her several times until she had cleaned alway all the frosting.

Catra giggled as she hurled several colorful insults towards Adora. She didn’t mean a single one of them and Adora knew. “Alright, dumbass, I’m clean” she giggled a little more “now let me have a taste of it” then she gave Adora a long and deep kiss “Hmmm, strawberries”

Like that the celebrations went on. They would dance, kiss and be the most beautiful couple in one moment and then start poking fun at each other in the next. It was a nice and comfortable rhythm, the kind of stuff that came naturally with years of intimacy and caring for one another and though they both knew their hardships were far from over, they knew they could face it all as long as they were together.

#catradora #dnd!au #the wedding fic #really stupidly long

[personality-slate-blank]

Catradora soulmate au

"I'll keep your little secret from Lord Hordak" the shadowy figure echoed, "Only because I do care about you adora, and dont forget what I can do if you tell anyone. It is a privilege that you have, not a right" it seemed as if the shadow smirked, sending chills down the young girl's spine, the eerie presence eventually left, leaving Adora sat on her bunk, holding back the tears as she had been taught to do, she felt a weight drop onto the bed behind her,

"Hey adora.." the small voice behind her caused her to turn, she could never get used to how vibrant Catra's eyes are. All bright and sparkling, and her hair, so dark compared to her own she grabbed on tight to her, and waited until she could speak, Catra wrapped her little tail around Adora's leg. Breathlessly, Adora whispered "Catra, I was so scared, I thought she was gonna kill me"

"Dont worry you're fine, shadow weaver loves you" Catra answered, remembering all the times she had been punished by the same woman, "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you"

Adora sat up and laughed, wetly. Grabbing Catra's hand "I can take it. We'll get through this, together! We'll be the best in the hoard now, that's probably why we aren't allowed to tell anyone"

"Yeah, they dont want us to have an advantage, why don't they let everyone see like this?"

"I don't know Catra, but you heard Shadow weaver, we better not talk about it any more"

"Yeah... ok. Are you ok to go back out?"

"Yeah, race you!"

"No fair!"

Since being 6 years old, Adora had seen in colour, a gift none of her other teammates shared, it put her ahead in combat training, but she still worked so hard to attain the ranks and positions she did, after one almost devastating training session, she narrowly beat Catra, who came in at the last second, to win. Dusting herself off, she tried not to linger on Catra's eyes as she walked over to their commander for a brief and progress update, basically a summary of what they had done wrong, Adora got full marks though, so when shadow weaver asked for her, she left and wouldn't miss anything. Not that she had a choice to follow the woman, but better her than Catra getting this talk. So she sighed inwardly before asking what shadow weaver wanted now.

"CATRA! CATRA COME HERE!" the excitement in Adora's voice roused the other girl from her nap so she kicked down the air vent and dropped behind her friend with a shout, "Hey adora!", causing the other girl to jump in fright "That never gets old, so what are you yelling about?"

"Look!" Adora said, pointing to her chest, a bright yellow badge was displayed there with the two great wings of the hoard displayed on it

"Oh wow, congrats, you're officially a force captain, huh? and active dudy, damn, give Brightmoon hell for me"

"Yeah the orientation is tomorrow night, I was assigned last minute, so I'm gonna study up"

"Boring! Don't you wanna do something fun?"

"Fun like stealing a skiff? Our little trek can always be classed as recon, come on, it'll be fun!"

"LETS BLOW SOMETHING UP!... Wait, aren't you concerned about shadow weaver?"

"Didnt you see her this afternoon? she was all weak, her hair was barely floating"

That was normally a sign she wouldn't be around for a few days, locked in with the giant red rock, now would be the best time if they were going to go anywhere, Catra leaped off her perch on the top bunk and walked towards the door, turning back to hold out her hand, Adora smiled, she couldn't resist those eyes, they both wanted an adventure. She grabbed her hand and ran down the stairs.

..........................

She awoke in a cold sweat, Catra barely moved at her feet, that decided it, she needed to go back, into the woods, she needed answers, the sword seemed to pull her towards it and now it haunts her dreams, no thanks. Quietly getting up and pulling on her jacket adora headed out. Concentrating on getting another skiff, she hadn't noticed Catra coming up behind her, "what are you doing?"

Grabbing her and shoving her into the wall as the drone security bot passed Adora quietened the other girl, "shhh.... look Catra, I know I saw something out there, it feels important, I know it"

"Sounds good, let's go!"

"No, you should stay here, shadow weaver will be waking back up soon, and who knows what she'd do to you, please just trust me, I'll be back before anyone knows I'm gone" and with that she ran around the corner, down the stairs

"I would know you've gone"

..........................

It was a lonesome journey, watching out for patrols and then abandoning the skiff just inside the woods, choosing to trek through the underbrush as it is quieter, colour seemed to make no difference in here everything was dark, dark green, dark blue, dark grey, not to mention she had no idea how to find this sword, this was going to be a long night. She sighed and continued crawling, looking out for ethereal blue lights or anything in the woods that might try to kill her, read: everything

Talking to herself, she saw said blue light creeped into the clearing. 'The sword! Wait, what is that? Voices? Getting closer, they clearly dont care about being spotted, maybe guards patrol these woods, damn, I'll just have to grab the sword and run!'

As they spotted her, the smaller one yelled "HOARD SOLDIER!" and they both started war cries, Adora sprinted to the sword and could almost touch it, before a puff of sparkles appeared and the small one with it glaring at her. Adora reached for the sword before the young girl teleported a few feet away, clutching it tightly.

'A princess, right, can I take a princess? Yeah, in training. She can teleport so binding won't work, just need the sword, I dont want to have to hurt her'

She threw the sword to her companion, he dropped his bow to catch it, she could try to take him on, especially unarmed, he ran with it and the princess spawned on top of her back, she shook her off violently, throwing a bola at his legs and sprinting for the sword again

"Stand down, I don't want to hurt you"

"Since when do hoard soldiers not want to hurt anyone?" The princess yelled, now in front of her, throwing a sort of smoke bomb of glitter.

They wrestled for the sword, but just as Adora touched it, a bright flash of light hit and Adora was dragged into her dream, "My name is Lighthope"...

...................

She awoke bound by ropes, the princess staring her in the face, yelling "Hoard spy! How did you get so far into the whispering woods?"

"I... walked in? And I'm not a spy. Who are you?"

"I ask the questions. The whispering woods are rebellion territory, you were lucky to make it as far as you did"

She dragged her comrade off and not-so-subtly whispered about bringing her to Brightmoon, an excellent chance for reconisance, if she survives. That's a big if. They would probably take her for interrogation, she could handle that, after all, it's only a little bit.... of a lot of pain. Well Shadow weaver was no push over, though she could be quite lenient sometimes, oh what would Catra do? She knew how to talk to people

They got up and walked, supposedly back to Brightmoon, though with the way her two captors, bow and glimmer apparently, argued, they may not be going the right way. The boy, bow, tried to make small talk, a big mistake, Adora couldn't stop herself from almost shouting, "You know she's a princess right? Princesses are a dangerous threat to all of Etheria! How can you follow her? It's weird, her hair is literally pink and sparkly, that's not normal"

"Wow, thats what they teach in the hoa- Wait, you can see in colour? You can see the pink?"

"What do you mean that's what they teach?"

"Woah, woah, wait up. You can see in colour?"

"Yes, why?"

"Hoard soldiers have soulmates... GLIMMER! GLIMMER, LISTEN TO THIS!"

"What are soulmates, what are you on about?"

The princess popped over, looking annoyed, "Bow this better be important or so help me"-

"This hoard soldier can see in colour!"

"What?!?"

"I know! This means that myths were true!"

"Nope, no way, they cannot be like us, not with the things they do"

With that Glimmer stormed off, a few seconds later they heard her gasp and Bow dragged her over.

Tents were destroyed, rubble lay strewn, there were no people to be found. A dead bot was abandoned to the side. It had hoard markings, the great wings. Emblazoned red like the blood on the floor. "This is all the hoard ever does, they can't just do this, they just kill and steal and ruin our land"

That's what the hoard does? What about helping and improving the lives of those part of it? Was this a secret rebel base? Is that it? There's no technology to suggest so, but that would mean... no she cant think it. A heavy silence weighed in the group as Glimmer dried her tears, before storming off ahead. Only to quickly return running through the brush, "There's something out there!"...

...............

Everywhere is so beautiful, all the town, the people, the animals, so much joy in one place, from the darkness of the whispering woods to this place of bright colour, it would be a shame to miss this, it's nothing compared to the darkness of the fright zone.

When the hoard attacked this innocent town, Adora was thrown into the chaos, dragging that damn sword with her. It was chaos, bloody chaos, hoard soldiers left and right, blasts and shocks rocking the earth. She stood before the cannons as She-ra, etheral and eternal, glowing as she struck down the weapons, out of control in an ordered way. However upon seeing those eyes though, peering through the smoke, those vibrant, unforgettable eyes, her hands shook and her resolve crumbled. She returned to her original form as soldiers closed in, Catra ran and bowled her over, "Adora? I'm so glad you're safe! Shadow weaver's throwing a fit", smiling as she said it, holding Adora tightly, "Yeah, it'd be funny if she weren't such a horrible person" the last bit fell flat and a shudder ran through them both, "Adora, please, come home"

Adora just looked at her shocked that she could consider it with the devastation around them, "Catra.. I can't, I need to understand myself and I cannot stand what the hoard is doing, dont you see? These are innocent people!"

"That never mattered before, come on Adora"

"I didnt know before! Call me stupid, call me naive, but I wanted to believe what they told us, so I did, but now, its different, we're different, Catra. All these beside you cannot see the blue sky, or the grass or even those that they hurt, I didn't for a long time, I really hurt you, and I know that I can't apologise enough, I'm so sorry. Truely. But I won't go back, they have answers and I need them. I'm going to Brightmoon, for myself, are you coming with me?" Adora offered her hand out to the girl sat opposite with an honest smile, a small circle of hoard soldiers had gathered. It was now or never.

"Please Catra, I need you by my side again"

"...Ok, let's do this!" Catra sprung to her feet, ignoring Adora's offered hand and drew out two weapons, handing one off to Adora, "I think you'll understand this a little better than that oversized beast" Catra said before throwing herself tooth and claw into the fray, Adora followed shortly after. When Adora met up with Bow and Glimmer the hoard threat was eliminated, the two joined arms as Adora explained what had happened, they distrusted Catra, but agreed to give her the answers that she desired.

#catra #adora #catradora #spop #shera #she ra