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#hi I am trying to reply to an email and I have too much anxiety about every fucking character
turcott3 · 1 day
Note
First of all thank you for the Rempe content
Second of all, I’ve been thinking about this:
You’ve been dating Matt since just after he got to Seattle. You’re openly aware of his fighting and you don’t mind it but once he gets to the NHL you can’t help but let the media and the backlash get to you about Matt fighting. When he gets ejected from a game on a match penalty, you find yourself going down to see him, clearly upset and trying to drill into it him that he doesn’t have to fight all these people, he has nothing to prove. He doesn’t see it that way and you two go back and forth for a little while. He turns to you and says ‘this is who I am. I am working on it, I ask you to accept that’ or something like that and then you have to accept that his fighting is a thing but it doesn’t mean you’re happy about it still. So now every time he gets in a fight he brings you flowers and chocolate after the game
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kisses
matt rempe x fem! reader
warnings?: cursing, mild arguing, fluff, kisses
masterlist
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“matthew rempe.” you yell busting open the door.
“jesus you scared me.” he jumps, giggling.
“what have i fucking told you matt.” you say sternly as the boy sits down in front of you.
“what?” he shrugs.
“matt please for the love of god stop all this fighting crap. i mean it.” you press, tears welling up in your eyes.
“it’s fun, i never mean any harm by it.” he replies.
“matt, i know. but please. just stop. for your own sake and the sake of your health please. it hurts my heart having to stitch you up after every game. please just at least take a break from it, or only fight when it’s necessary. i just wanna see my boys face healthy again.” you say wiping a tear of frustration that fell.
“come here baby.” he says lowly, opening his arms for you to sit on his leg as you brushed his soft hair from his face.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t know you felt that way. i’ll try to dim it down okay? this is just the kind of player i choose to be y/n, and that’s how it is but i promise im gonna try to dial it down for you.” he says pressing a kiss to your temple.
“but just know if any guy ever chirps about you they’re dead, okay?” he giggles wiping your tears away gently with his thumb.
“okay.” you smile lightly, finding it hard to ever stay mad at him.
“and i’m sorry for getting ejected again, i know you like staying for the whole game.” he giggles with his chin rested on your shoulder in a hug.
“it’s okay baby. i can’t be mad at being able to have you at home sooner. i always miss you when i can’t come.” you giggle, scratching his scalp with your nails, something he always loved you doing.
“is it bad that i feel that way too.” he says pulling away, locking eyes with you.
“no it just means you love me.” you smile, squishing his cheeks like a baby before he pulls your hand away.
“would you stop that, you know i don’t like it.” he laughs
“well i think it’s funny, and i feel in this moment you deserved it.”
“touché”
-
“matt.” you mumble under your breath as you sat on the couch with a load of emails on your laptop, the game on your tv. of course, another fight. a much more evenly matched one this time. you shut your laptop with anxiety waiting for the final buzzer of the game to sound, eventually dozing off as your mind scrambled at what possible injuries you would have to ice or stitch tonight.
“y/n?” you wake up to the sound of matt’s voice in a low volume, trying not to startle you as his hand rested softly on your leg.
“what, huh? oh my gosh.” you say realizing that you had fallen asleep.
“i got you these.” matt says, revealing the gorgeous bouquet of roses and your favorite chocolate.
“awe matt what is this for?” you ask with your lip pouted, observing the sight in front of you. a beautiful bunch of roses and your beautiful boyfriend.
“for breaking my promise. i’m sorry baby.” he says as you lean over to kiss him on the lips.
“it’s okay my love, you know how hard it is for me to stay mad at you for literally anything. these are beautiful.” you smile lightly at him.
“i had to hand pick them, only the best for my beautiful girl.” he smiles kissing your hand delicately.
“but seriously, promise after tonight, im gonna try to be better.” he swears, setting the objects on the coffee table.
“all i ask is for you to try.” you reply as you stand up, wrapping yourself up in his large frame.
“i’ll think of you out there, every game. every time i get challenged. i swear to god i will.” he mumbles into your hair as he kisses you on top of the head.
“i love you so much.” you say looking up into his deep brown eyes.
“i love you too.” he smiles, leaning down to attach your lips once again.
-
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unmotivatedwrit3r · 4 months
Text
One in Eleven Million (ch. 8)
damian wayne x reader x jon kent
(A/N): So about that getting chapter out quicker thing...I blame tech week
Series masterlist can be found here.
warnings: a little bit of cursing, mild anxiety, airports
wc: ~1500
~~
Soon apparently meant thirty minutes. The plane’s landing gear hit the tarmac hard. The few shrieks were outweighed by the many sighs of relief, you own included. Jon yanked the window open, squinting. The view of the tarmac went from blurred to clear in the morning sunlight as the plane slowed. 
“Tt, finally. Though Philadelphia would not have been my first choice as a welcome back to the East Coast.” Damian pulled his gaze from the window, bending down to resecure the closures on his backpack. Jon’s eyes stayed glued to the window. 
“Are all plane landings this rough?”
“Yeah, usually,” you replied. “But it means we’re on the ground, so I don’t mind.” 
“Welcome to Philadelphia, ladies and gentlemen. The local time is 9:32 am and the temperature is 47 degrees Fahrenheit. Apologizes for the early landing but glad we all made it safe and sound. Remember to stop at the help desk if you do need to get your luggage routed to baggage claim or if you would like to take a voucher and find another method of transportation to Gotham. Thank you all for your patience and cooperation and thank you for flying with us.”
“If I ever see the inside of a plane again, it will be too soon,” Jon whined. You turned to see him drop his head on Damian’s shoulder.
“Flying commercial is both unpleasant and inefficient, I concur.” Damian squinted at the standstill line forming at the front of the plane. You stayed carefully silent. The two future trips you had in your calendar burned in the back of your mind. 
“But hey,” Jon sat up. “At least we met you!”
You chuckled, maneuvering up and out of your seat into the line of departing passengers before swinging your backpack over your shoulder. 
“Yeah,” A bittersweet wave of emotion gripped your heart. “It would have sucked so much more without you guys.”  
The deplaning of the flight was the worst you’d ever been a part of. Between panic and desire to leave, everyone was sloppy and on a short fuse. You nearly got whacked in the head with a carry-on bag trying to stand up. You did get elbowed trying to move forwards in the line.   
There was no Damian and Jon right behind you this time when you turned around after finally making your way into the airport. The spike of disappointment that drove through your chest caught you off guard. I knew this was going to happen, you reminded yourself. It didn’t make the ache in your chest go away.
“Hi,” you greeted the help desk employee. “I’d like to get my bag routed to baggage claim.” The required materials—your boarding pass, baggage tag receipt, and driver’s license—weren’t hard to produce. In just a few minutes, you were given a new receipt and an instruction to check screens for the baggage claim. The guaranteed “voucher” was to be later emailed, added to your airline account. You stepped off to the side, shoving the new receipt in your pocket. They’re tall, you figured. You’d see them if they were still there. Multiple scans of the crowd later, you didn’t see Damian’s waves nor Jon’s signature glasses. The spike of disappointment morphed into a vice around your chest even as you shoved it down. Your phone, now off airplane mode, buzzed in your pocket. You spun on your heel and headed towards baggage claim. The train you needed to take back home wasn’t going to book itself. 
Despite your unfamiliarity with the airport, it was simple enough to follow the signs towards the baggage claim area. You stopped at a restroom on your way there to avoid having to maneuver through one with a full suitcase in tow. The screen was empty of flights from your airline when you arrived, and your phone was blank of any email updates. Instead, you rerouted to the Amtrak app. The train with the lowest fare that also gave you enough buffer time to get your bags and catch the local train from the airport to the station was 2 hours away. The number of your bank balance flashed in your mind. 
“Thirty-eight for the train and eight to get to the airport,” you muttered aloud. “Yes I am so willing to spend fifty bucks to finally just be home.” The inevitable expense of a taxi or rideshare back to your home poked at the back of your mind. You ignored it. The voucher would cover the difference later on and that would have to be enough. 
A notification banner popped up on the top of your phone screen. The text notification was from the airline, declaring baggage claim three. Sure enough, the screen on the wall said the same thing. Baggage claim number three was farther down. You moved quickly, shoving through other passengers to stand in closer to it. Standing nearby was someone you had a murky recollection of from the boarding line.
All that was left now was to wait. 
~
Damian bit back a growl as a large man shoved him back into Jon and forced his way farther up the line. 
“That’s not getting him anywhere,” Jon muttered. He was half-hoping his powers would spontaneously come back and help them out. “What’s the point?” Damian shook his head.
“If people made sense, Jon, we’d be out of work.” Jon rolled his eyes. 
“You’re hilarious.” 
Damian chuckled lowly, pulling his carry-on bag from the overhead storage, then Jon’s. 
“Damn it.” 
A jolt of panic sliced through Jon. His head snapped towards Damian, eyes wide. Jon winced, massaging the back of his neck. That hurt.
“What?” 
“We lost them.” He nodded towards the front of the plane. You were gone. 
“Shit.”
As much as he wanted to get off the plane, Jon wouldn’t have pushed through the other passengers even with powers at full strength. Especially with powers at full strength. He followed the movement of the crowd as they exited the gate, coming to a stop just beside a stand selling Philadelphia hoodies and t-shirts. Jon eyed them with a not small amount of disdain. He’d pass. 
“So we’re not taking another plane-” Damian began. 
“Oh fuck no,” Jon interrupted. 
“Why do you think I started with ‘we’re not’?” 
“Right,” Jon could feel his cheeks heating. “I knew that.” 
“Hnn. So could it be worthwhile to call someone now? It’s past 9:30, your family should be up. Of mine, Alfred at the very least will be awake at this hour.”
“What’s the other option?”
“We take another method of public transport to Gotham and have Alfred pick us up there.” 
Jon thought about it for a moment. Then he thought of you. His hearing was past the point of awful fluctuation, but not good enough to hear across a crowded airport. And he didn’t know your heartbeat. It was a weird thought. Jon thought about it again. That was a weird thought too. But it had been a long time since he’d gotten to know someone without being able to hear their heartbeat. 
“Do we know what they’re doing? I don’t think we even talked about it. But I don’t want to leave them alone after all this.” He paused. “That’s not weird, right?” 
Damian shook his head. 
“No, I agree. Which means your family is out. And waiting for Alfred to drive all the way here and then asking them to get into a car with a complete stranger for two hours is also less than ideal.”
“So public transport it is.” Jon concluded. “Wait, how do we even know they aren’t taking another plane?” Damian smirked. 
“They don’t call us the world's greatest detectives for nothing.”
Jon narrowed his eyes at Damian. “You guessed.” 
“I formed a hunch based on multiple deductions,” Damian retorted, arms crossed.
“So you guessed.” 
“Deduction and guesswork are two different things.” 
“Uh huh,” Jon smiled and started heading to the help desk. “Keep telling yourself that.”
The help desk employee guaranteed Damian that the vouchers would be emailed and attached to his airline account. Based on the look on his face, Damian couldn’t care less about them. Jon wanted to hurry up and find you too. But he also didn’t want to be booked into the nearest flight to Gotham. Until he got his powers back in full, Jon wasn’t doing any flying whatsoever, much less flying that involved any sort of metal contraptions. 
“Which baggage claim is for this flight?” Damian asked before he stepped away. The airline employee checked her screen. 
“Three, but I don’t believe bags have started arriving yet.” 
Damian nodded and headed quickly towards the signs leading towards the baggage claim area. 
“Thanks!” Jon threw out as he followed, sneakers squealing against the linoleum floor as he hurried to catch up. 
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vodika-vibes · 3 months
Text
The Siren's Song
Summary: When your friends, and you use that term lightly, drag you to a lounge rather than letting you relax at home, you think it's going to be a terrible evening. You think that right up until you meet Hardcase, the headliner of the lounge.
Pairing: Pre-Hardcase x F!Reader
Word Count: 1823
Warnings: Toxic friendships
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @thepackerbacker (at your request) @the-bad-batch-baroness (you said you were interested in this idea)
A/N: I managed to pound this out in less than an hour after my anxiety got too bad and needed to be handled. I hope you all like it!
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When your friends tell you that you are working too hard and that they are taking you out for a night on the town, you are kind of hesitant.
On one hand, they’re right. You do work too much. On the other hand, your friends’ ideas of a night out tend to involve more alcohol and drugs than you’ve ever been comfortable with. 
So you push back.
You refuse them and their night out.
“No,” You say to them, “Your idea of a fun night sounds like actual torture to me, and I’d really rather not.” And for once, you think that they’re going to just leave it there.
Honestly, you’re not sure why you thought that. Your friends have never been the type to actually listen to you when you say no. So when they show up at your apartment late one evening, after you’ve already changed into your pajamas and are about to start a nice relaxing evening of watching bad movies, you don’t even have the energy to be annoyed.
“Great! You’re still awake!” Your best friend pushes her way into your home and shoves a garment bag into your arms, “I brought you a dress to wear since I know you don’t keep anything girly in your house. And because I am an amazing person, I also brought matching heels.”
“I’m really not interested,” You say blandly.
“I really don’t care,” Your friend replies blithely, “The others are waiting for us at Sani’s Lounge downtown.”
“Great. A lounge.”
“Don’t be like that. I know you’re a stick in the mud, so this place is known for being drug free.” Your friend says with a roll of her eyes as she fixes her make-up in your hall mirror, “Honestly, girl, you need to lighten up.”
“You need to take things more seriously. We’re not in high school anymore.” You counter.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Go get dressed. I’m not leaving without you.”
“This is a kriffing hostage situation is what it is,” You grumble under your breath, before you turn and stalk into your bedroom.
The dress is a bit shorter than you’re comfortable with wearing, but since you already know that she won’t leave unless you’re with her, you suck it up, apply a thin layer of makeup and step back into the living room.
“Stop digging through my stuff,” You snap as you snap your laptop shut before she can dig through your emails. Not that she could, since your laptop is password protected, but the risk is always there.
“Hm, you look alright.” She says judgmentally, “Here, put these on.” She shoves some heels into your hands.
“Yeah, no. I’m going to wear my own shoes, thank you.” You push back, and she rolls her eyes.
“Fine, whatever. You already look like a hot mess, you can’t make it look any worse.”
You roll your eyes and dig some nice sandals out of your closet, and ease them on, “I thought you were bringing me out to help me relax. Not to make me more stressed.”
“The world doesn’t revolve around you.” She counters, “You’re coming along as the ugly friend. The lounge has a siren singer, and we’re going to try and catch his attention.”
Anger and embarrassment burn in your chest, but you bite your tongue. You don’t exactly have enough friends that you can risk losing the few that you have. 
If nothing else, you can dip out after an hour, claiming an early appointment the next day. If they even ask where you’re going. If they even care.
You really need new friends.
“I’m ready to go.” You say blandly.
“Hm. Okay. Can you drive us?”
“No. I can’t.” You counter flatly, “My car is in the shop.”
“Ugh. Lame. Fine, we can walk. Just don’t talk too much, I need to get into the zone.” You roll your eyes as she finishes primping herself in the mirror and then storms out of your house.
You grab your purse and carefully make sure that the door is locked before you trail after her. She doesn’t even like you, so you’re not entirely sure why she’s so gung-ho on you coming with her and her friends.
Probably because someone would guilt her for leaving you out, you decide thoughtfully as you glance at your comm. After all, you’ve been a part of this friend group for most of your life, and some of the others actually do like you, even if they seem to take advantage of you all the time.
Though, in most of their cases, they probably don’t realize what they’re doing. Or they’re a lot meaner than you’re giving them credit for.
Whatever. You decide with a silent sigh, after tonight you’re going to block them all and move on with your life. How hard can making new friends be anyway?
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Sani’s Lounge is a relatively new hang-out location near your home. Not super popular, solely due to the menu and the live music that they prefer to use. So you’re not really surprised when you’re able to get inside without much of a wait.
You’re also not surprised when you get ditched as soon as you’re inside. Your friend moving across the quickly filling room to get as close to the stage as she can. You shake your head and settle yourself at a table near the back of the room.
“Your friend seemed kind of eager to ditch you.” A man at a table near you says with a wry smile.
“Tell me about it.” You rest your head on the palm of your hand, “Apparently I was invited because I’m the ‘ugly’ friend. Honestly, I didn’t want to come at all, but she wouldn’t leave my home unless I came with her.”
“I don’t think you’re ugly.” He says brightly, before he picks up his drink and moves to sit across from you, “My name’s Hardcase.” He says as he offers his hand.
You smile at him and offer him your name in return as you take his hand. 
He grins at you, a genial expression that makes you feel much more relaxed than you normally would, and he flips your hand so he’s able to press a feather light kiss to your knuckles.
Your face burns, and you nervously tuck some hair behind your ear, and his grin widens. “You’ve never been here before, I take it?” Hardcase asks as he releases your hand.
“No. This isn’t really my scene.” You reply, pulling your hand back to sit in your lap. “All I know is that they have live music every so often, and they,” You tilt your head towards your friends, “say that the headliner is a Siren.”
“Not a fan?” Hardcase asks.
“Not sure I believe them.” You shrug, “I mean, that’s the thing to do, isn’t it? Clubs and bars claiming that their live attraction is a siren or whatever to draw a larger crowd.”
“Well, I am a regular here and I promise you that the singer is a siren.”
“Or just a good singer.”
Hardcase laughs, “There’s a bit of a difference between being a good singer and being preternaturally good at singing, darling.” He grins at you, “You’ll understand after the first song. You just have to keep your ears open.”
“Assuming I can hear anything over them,” You reply dryly.
“Oh, don’t worry, sweetling. You’ll hear.” Hardcase finishes his drink and sets the empty glass on the table between you, “Alright. Time for me to get to work.”
You tilt your head questioningly, and he winks at you, “Remember, keep your ears open and I’ll make you believe.”
“...wait, you’re-?”
He winks one more time, and then hurries through a side door. Moments later the lights dim, and the chatting in the room dies.
And then there’s Hardcase. Standing on the stage, holding a microphone, with some other people on the stage behind him, starting to play their instruments. 
His gaze locks with yours, and he grins. He lifts the microphone to his lips and he starts to sing.
“Oh,” You breath out. His voice wraps around you like a soothing blanket as he sings his love song. He keeps his gaze locked on you for the whole song, and you’re unable to tear your eyes away from him.
As he sings, it’s like the rest of the world just fades away. And it’s just you and him and the song between you.
And when the song fades, and you snap out of whatever spell you had been wrapped under, you’re suddenly aware that the other people in the audience seemed a bit sullen about something. 
Hardcase slides the microphone back into the stand and hops off the stage, and brushes past the men and women vying for his attention, and he stops next to your table, a boyish grin on his handsome face, “So? What d’ya think?”
You’re unable to hide your answering smile, “Consider me convinced.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He leans on the table, so that he’s right in your personal space, and you’re surprised to find that you don’t mind how close he is to you.
“And what did you think of the song?” He asks.
“It was beautiful. But you have to know that. Did you write it?” You ask.
“Yeah. If by writing it you mean ‘did you make that up on the spot?’ because I did that too.” Hardcase replies with a grin.
“You made that up on the spot?”
“I wanted a song as beautiful as the woman I’m dedicating it to.” Hardcase replies, and he leans a little closer and lowers his voice, “That’s you, by the way.”
You duck your head, a pleased smile on your lips. “You hardly know me.”
“That’s easily remedied.” He replies, “I have one more set. Wait for me and we can go out for a late dinner.”
“I suppose that’s not a terrible idea.” You muse thoughtfully.
Hardcase’s entire face brightens, “I’m going to make up another song for you. Maybe about your eyes and how they look in the candle light-” He trails off, mumbling under his breath.
“Well, I’m happy to play muse for you.”
Something unnatural glimmers in his dark eyes for a moment, and he quickly drops a kiss to your cheek, causing your face to burn, “Just you wait,” He says, excitement thrumming though his voice, and you can’t help but become excited too, “I’m going to wow you, sweetling.” And then he’s gone, heading back to the stage, and he whispers frantically to his band, before he grabs the microphone. 
And once more, his gaze locks with yours as the room fills with soothing instrumental music, and then is joined by his voice. And, as you lose yourself in the ebbs and flows of his voice and the music, you realize that this can easily become love, if you let it.
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1-800-iluvhockey · 2 years
Text
this is me trying - (n.blankenburg’s version)
summary - being the best friend of nick blankenburg turned out to be one of the best things in her life, as she was going through one of the worst times.
type - fic, requested for the 300+ special (lower case intended) song lyrics will be in bold (you will know when you see them)
warnings - tw: talks of mental instability, su*cidal thoughts, depression. read with caution to these topics! </3 
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being best friends with a captain of a ncaa hockey team was one of the craziest things that could ever happen to y/n l/n. she became best friends with nick blankenburg during the middle of freshman year, and were inseparable ever since. now they were seniors, and everything has changed. nicky was captain of the umich hockey team, and the pair of best friends became parents.. not parents to an actual child they had together, but a mom & dad duo to all of the team. it was mostly the sophomores and freshman, but it was still 15 manchildren to deal with. blanks had always been a leader, so it was no doubt in y/n’s mind that he would become captain. she loved the fact that he was there for the boys in any and all ways that he could be….. and kinda loved the fact that she got dragged along. blanks was secretly in love with the girl, and had no idea until it was quite literally, almost too late….. 
y/n had always struggled on the inside about image and mental health. but she never let anyone know, naturally. she was a girl, a woman who was one of the bubbliest, happiest people you could ever meet. her laughter was contagious, sense of humor was perfect, her kindness radiated through her words and actions. she was the perfect team mom, best friend, and student….. on the outside. but on the inside, she just wanted to break down and leave it all behind. she was having a hard time adjusting to some little changes in her world. graduation, nhl signings, leaving. not saying that y/n had attachment issues, but sometimes the anxiety and depressive aspects of those things made it hard for her to think straight. sometimes when she would be out with the boys, she would make a joke about something like that, forgetting in that split moment that they had no clue about her struggles. blanks had some idea about the anxiety and “what if I am not good enough” thoughts she had. they tried to talk it out a few times, but it would just end in an argument. blanks didn’t know how to help anymore. she was so closed off and he knew that what she had been putting on was a facade. this senior year has been so much for her, without the boys or hockey in the mix…… but on top of it all, was too much. y/n was ready to crack under the pressure, blanks was trying to be a good best friend and look for the warning signs…. but still couldn’t see them until it was too late. 
“y/n are you going to take a break soon?” blanks asked his best friend who was studying like a madman in his house. books and papers scattered everywhere. 
“I will once the boys are here— I just need a few more minutes.” y/n mumbled as she moved the papers out of his way. 
“you’re scaring me y/n/n…please put the papers down and cuddle. pleaseeeee.” nick pleaded to her, as he came up behind her and hugged her neck. He just wanted his best friend, the secret love of his life back. 
“okay okay, let me put my stuff away, nicky.” she told her best friend, as he laughed and helped her out her stuff away. they both cleaned off everything and then cuddled on the (brand new) couch in the living room. he played with her hair and they got into a conversation about life. 
“where are you going to go after graduation?” he asked the sleepy, burnt out girl who was cuddled into his side. 
“I don’t know blanks…. I can go anywhere I want.” she replied to him softly, as he rubbed her back. 
“would you say yes to a crazy idea involving you and I?” he asked her seriously, lifting the two of them up so he could face her. 
“I don’t know N, like what?” she laughed a little as he showed her an email conversation between him and a nhl team. 
“nicholas blankenburg so help me if you are lying—“ she told him sternly as he just smiled brightly at her. 
“I could be in the nhl, babes. I have almost made it….. and I want you to go with me. after you graduate of course, please please y/n.” nick told her, holding her hands as she kept looking down at the email and back to him. 
“why— why me? you’re about to go start a new chapter of your life, you don’t need me anymore. you need a girlfriend and a life not—“ y/n started to ramble until he cut her off, kissing her softly. 
she didn’t know how to react to it, but she kissed him back, deepening it gently. he grabbed on to her waist and pulled her into him softly. this kiss had been on his mind for so long, and he couldn’t believe it was working. she had thought that she wasn’t good enough for him in this way, and now she is kissing him? if cloud 9 was a real place, she’d be there right now. separating apart, the blushing pair were soon greeted by the front door opening and a pile of boys entering through. 
“I— I got to go blanks, we will talk about this later okay? roomie needs me again, you know?” she told him, trying to leave the growing room and his face went from a smile to a frown. 
“okay drive back home safe?” he said semi questionably as she walked out the door. 
he got a text message and quickly looked down at his phone…… and smiled again. 
y/n 💘 - see u later, that kiss….. blanks you’re making me fall for you I hope you know that lol 
he smiled and texted back a quick
nick🤍 - I’m glad you liked the kiss, because I hope that you know it won’t be the last between us if you let me….. :) 
his phone buzzed again with a text from her 
y/n 💘 - it won’t be ;) see you soon <3 
and then the boys started to ask about everything, and nick never checked his phone again, until the next night. 
y/n went back to her place, conflicted in her mind about her life. nick was leaving but now kissed her…… asked her to go with him, and now she is crying in the shower over her best friend. her life was already crumbling from the inside out. but that kiss….. everything was perfect about that kiss. she could feel his smile on his lips when she deepened it, and the way his hands felt so good on her waist. that moment was the only thing keeping the bad thoughts away. so she decided to drink some wine, listen to some tswift and fall asleep. 
the next morning came, and the thoughts that she was trying to avoid came with it. so that morning, she spent it journaling, drinking tea, relaxing, and trying to get the negative feelings and depressive thoughts out of her brain. but the thoughts wouldn't stop, the feelings of taking a little too much of her antidepressants to end the thoughts consumed her to the core. she didn't want to leave yet, but maybe she could…. she wouldn't be a burden to anyone, and she could leave her legacy as the bubbly girl she is.. was. the rainy day didn't help any, as it felt like the perfect breakdown day. shaking, she went to the bathroom and grabbed the pills.. and poured some into her hand. tears pooling in her eyes while doing so.. she popped the normal amount into her mouth, swallowing them quickly. then, as the shaking continued, she poured some more pills into her hand; but something changed when she poured them in her hand. 
the rain on the off weekend let the boys relax some before they had a series of weekends of important games. blanks invited all the boys over for a game day, playing chel, ping pong, snacking all day… just having a chill day. he had still not heard from y/n since last night, and he was getting worried. rain was one of her favorite things, and he knew that she’d love to be here with the boys hanging out. so as he was about to call her, she was calling him. Quickly, he told the boys around him to shut up. 
“y/n? are you there?” blanks asked as all he could hear was her breathing on the other line. “baby you have to use your words…. I can’t help you unless I know what is wrong.” he asked softly as he started to look around at the group who were trying to get his attention. putting the phone away from his mouth he whispered a “get the car ready” to bords, who sprinted to blanks’ car. 
“I-- I have to see you Nicky-- I am-- sorry. I can’t do this anymore.” she told him as the pill bottle dropped to the floor in the background, causing nick’s face to drop. 
“no-- y/n please stay on the line. you can’t leave yet, I-- we have to leave soon.. remember? just hold on I am coming over.” he told her as all he heard back was footsteps and rain. 
“I gotta go--” she said quickly and hung up, causing nick to throw his phone across the room as bords came back inside. 
“capt? what’s wrong?” kent asked as he approached the frustrated boy. 
“I-- I don't know what to do. I need to go after her--” nick said as he tried to sprint out the door. bords stops him quickly, and owen guards the door. 
“blanks! the rain is too much right now, you gotta wait it out!” bords told him, as brendan backed him up.
“she’s going to be okay for a few more minutes--” brendan said trying to reason with the anger ridden captain in front of him. 
“no-- you don’t understand how she was, it was a cry for help--- let me go.” blanks told the group of boys angrily as he tried to make his way through. the boys went into chaos, arguing over if they would let blanks go or not….. but 
a knock on the front door startled them. owen heard it first as he was guarding the door, he opened it to reveal a drenched, tear stained, y/n l/n. blanks’ body almost dropped to the floor when he saw the girl he loved looking in such a state. she was shivering, crying, and just broken. the boys couldn't even move until blanks made his way through the sea of boys to bring her into the house. blanks hugged her so tight, and all that mattered is that she was physically alive in front of him.
“now i’m here in your doorway-- I just didn't know if you cared that I came back.” she told him softly into his shoulder.
the boys gave her some towels and hot cocoa as they all sat around the couch, making sure that she was okay. blanks tried to kick them into another room so that y/n could have some space, but she needed the boys there. after getting some cocoa in and warmth in her system, she decided to tell the boys about everything. the backstory behind her depression, the anxiety attacks, the thoughts, and even about the attempt she had on herself not even an hour ago. getting it off her chest helped, but it didn't hurt any less. blanks was almost about to cry over the whole thing because he couldn’t be there to help, and y/n felt awful about it. the boys didn’t say a word, just sat and listened to their girl talk about the internal struggles she had / have been having. they felt awful, and as best friends and brothers, they felt that they have missed the warning signs……
now, after a good talk with the guys about her struggles, she could finally talk to blanks, alone in his room. 
“why didn’t you tell me? I wanted-- I am here for you for everything. I feel so bad that I let you down.” he told her as they sat down on his bed. 
“I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry-- I love you too much for you to do that to yourself.” she sighed as she grabbed on to his bicep to hold on to. 
“you love me?” he asked her softly, looking down at her. 
“always nicky, you're my person…. I hope you understand if we continue our talk and feelings from last night-- I am a broken person. I have too many prob--” y/n was then cut off by nick kissing her softly. the butterflies came back and the memory from last night's sweet kiss came back like a flashback in a film reel. 
“you will never be too broken for love y/n, let me love you. this is me trying to show you that you are going to have me there, always.” he told her, hugging her. 
“can I talk more about my anxiety and………..” she started to rant about how everything was crumbling around her, getting it off her chest. what she didn’t notice is the boy staring back at her, taking every word into his mind, making mental notes on how to help and love her… 
this was her trying, she was trying; she was trying for him. the boy who loved her and the man who she wanted to love for the rest of her life if she could, her best friend, her nick.
abbster’s taglist: @hockeyboysarehot @hockey-lover86 @hockey-lover-22 @bellaguarneri @owenpwr @studsccsnackavoybambi @boeswhore @jamiedryzdale @mattsboldyy @owenpowersglasses @pierrelucduboiis @oskarlidblom @dylandukerr @calermakar08 @the-stars-shine-above-us @pulpfixion @thedukes-56-5 @lwstuff @juliasahoshughes @dracoswhore007
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theloveinc · 2 years
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Hi Catie,
I didn't want to put this in the replies of your post, but a DM seems too ~familiar~ so your ask box it is 😅
I've been on Wellbutrin (well, the generic version) for about three years now (?) for my persistent depression and general anxiety. It's treated me really well, but meds aren't necessarily one size fits all. It took me about a year and a half to find a dosage I was happy with - and even now I have to take an additional (super low dose) sedative to go to sleep.
As far as side effects, I mostly deal with just dry mouth which can escalate to a sore throat, but nothing major. I did recently find out that it very easily could be the reason why I have problems regulating my body temperature, so that's fun.
It's enabled me to go from barely functioning because of my depression, to mostly functioning despite my depression.
I'm not trying to sell you on it or anything, just ease your mind some. And I'm not a medical professional, so you should definitely discuss it with your doctor because your needs might have changed between when it was prescribed to you and now.
My ask box and DMs are open if you have any questions or just want to air out your thoughts before taking them to your doctor 😊
ahhh hello!!! sorry for sitting on this so long... i'm sure u already know i get kinda intimidated by long stuff, but i've totally been meaning to reply to this for DAYS!
(and askbox is perfect, thank u!!! tho we are Friends so i wouldn't have been mad wherever you left this tee hee <3)
BUT I APPRECIATE UR THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT SO MUCH! it sounds like it's been a pretty good match for u, which i'm happy to hear for both ur sake and mine. i'm laughing kinda cuz i sorta already suffer from dry mouth, but honestly it's great that the side effects have been so minimal for u.
to be honest tho this whole thing has been so crazy cuz i agree with u that meds are definitely different per person... but when i actually sent a message to my doctor about it... neither she nor the pharmacist gave me as much advice as u did, so ive been really happy to have this message since i've been scared asf lmfaooo.
(literally my email was like "i'd love to talk to u about the wellbutrin suggestion u gave me a couple months ago!" and she was like "OK i ordered for u" ..........i was like HUH?????? NO APPOINTMENT OR NOTHING???
and all the pharmacist told me was like "make sure to take it in the morning!" and i was like "that's it?" and she was like "yep :)" LMFAOOO)
eh ni whey... i just really wanted to thank u for this since it super aided in my decision making process. i even told my mom about some of the stuff u said (dry mouth, insomnia, dosage) and she was like "WOWW it was so nice someone sent u all that!!!" and i was like "yeahhh :')))" SO THABNK U!!!
today was also actually (just now really, 9 am SHARP) the first day i decided to take it............. so i'm sure you'll hear about how it goes soon.
love to u til then tho and tysm! <3<3<3
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I'm yours 🥰♥️😍
Another Senator
Book : Open Heart (set post book 3)
Pairing : Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Meera Bose)
Summary : It's been half a decade since the attack on Senator Farrugia but worry and anxiety descend on Ethan when another Senator seeks medical attention at Edenbrook.
Category : Angst with fluffy ending
Warnings : A few swears as usual and mentions of the maitotoxin incident.
Rating : General
Word Count : 1560
Tropes : And they were Fighting 
Prompt : #70 "Don't hurt yourself again..." & 100 "I'm yours." from 101 Ways to Say I Love You
A/N : Look who is back from the dead and posting a fic after 4 long months! Have been blessed with writing inspiration lately so hopefully can get back to regular posting! I am participating in @choicesmonthlychallenge 's March challenge day 18 : awkard moments and using @wackydrabbles prompt 138 : the things I do for love. All the prompts will appear in bold. Hope y'all enjoy this one. Happy Reading! ♥️
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"Clear as day!" Meera smiled looking up from the biopsy report. "Good job team, Kevin, how do we proceed now?"
"Chemo? Radiation therapy?" Kevin replied.
"I can get in and try to scrape off as much as possible," Harper cut in. 
"Yeah but you might scrape off a few good nerves as well."
"Who told you that chemo and radiation won't do that?"
Meera's gaze flits over to Tobias who seems mentally unavailable in the conversation and deep in concentration on his phone. 
"Dr. Carrick, am I keeping you from something? Or do you care to give us some food for our thoughts?" Meera says, resulting in complete silence in the room. 
Tobias looks up from his phone a little uneasy, "I think we should arrange a consult with oncology first and then go on from there." He paused, "but it doesn't matter because y'all should check your emails first," he passed his phone over to Meera. 
"Apparently the chief wants us to drop the case immediately," Harper said looking from her own phone. 
"Fuck the chief," Meera shakes her head gathers her things and prepares to leave.
"Well you do that literally…" Kevin stops mid sentence receiving a well known look from all his other teammates. 
"Harper, Tobias, talk with oncology and look into setting up a consult," Meera said. "Kevin, I want you with the patient's family and I want no paparazzi disturbing the hospital's work."
"But what about Ethan's orders?" Harper asked. 
"I'll deal with that, but just know that I am not giving up this case," Meera walked out of the room. 
"Well Ramsey is in danger," Tobias remarked. 
Meera stepped into the admin floor and went straight for Ethan's office. His assistant tried stopping her, but Meera was ready to tackle the middle aged woman to the ground if necessary. Lucky for both of them Margaret decided to step aside and let Meera in. 
"Dr. Ramsey, we need to talk," she said storming into his office. 
Ethan looked up from the presentation his visitors from a pharma company were displaying. "Dr. Ramsey-Bose, always a pleasure to have a word with you but I am in the middle of something right now," Ethan smiled teasingly gesturing to his surroundings. 
"I need to talk to you now!" 
"Okay give me ten minutes?"
"No."
"Five?"
"No."
"Fine," Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose, "the things I do for love," he muttered under his breath, "gentlemen I am afraid we will have to continue this sometime later," Ethan shook the hands of the three men and showed them out of his office.
"Well now, how can I help you?" Ethan stood facing Meera, a little too close on purpose. 
Meera took two steps away from him to prevent herself from channeling her anger into something that would end up with their clothes on the floor. 
"Why are you acting like this?"
"Acting like what?"
"Like you are fucking innocent and you didn't send us the mail ordering us to drop the case."
Ethan went over to his desk and sat down, "take a seat Rookie, let's sit down, and calmly discuss this like adults okay?"
Meera looked at the visitor's chair skeptically, frowning at the distance Ethan's wide desk would put between them. She went over to Ethan's side, pushed everything aside from the desk, and made herself comfortable on the desk.
"Hey! That's weeks of my paperwork in there," Ethan exclaimed at the scattered paperwork and stationery.
"And this is months of my and my team's hardwork!"
"Look Rookie, you know how I felt about you taking this case from the very beginning. You knew how I couldn't stop thinking about what happened the last time a senator was admitted under the diagnostic team."
Meera rolled her eyes, "that was half a decade ago!"
"Yet is there any guarantee that history won't repeat itself? I can't bring myself to think about living a moment with a plastic barrier between you and me or living with the thought that I might lose you."
"So this is all about you? All about what you want, what you can and what you can't? And I am just a puppet in your play? You didn't even stop to think what I wanted?"
"You said you wanted to solve the mystery, and given the competence of you and your team I knew the diagnosis won't take much time and now when we have a diagnosis…'
"Wait a minute, how did you even know that we had an answer? I myself saw the biopsy report just a few minutes back."
"I am the chief of medicine Rookie, I have eyes and ears in every corner of my hospital."
"Ofcourse you do," Meera muttered shaking her head. 
"Look Meera," Ethan took Meera's hand in his, " I don't want to tempt fate, I knew if the senator wanted answers for his mystery illness he could only receive it here. And we have answers, but we don't necessarily have to treat him. The man has money, there are lots of leading oncology hospitals who will welcome him. It just doesn't have to be you or us or Edenbrook."
Meera lets out a long sigh retrieving her hand from her husband's she begins, "the man is diagnosed with stage three metastatic brain cancer, which has spread from his brain to his spinal cord and maybe to his nerves and neurons as well. Yes there are a lot of leading oncology hospitals and a lot of leading neurology hospitals all over the world but you and I both know that none of the hospitals have equal strength over both the departments. No hospital can put Dr. Harper Emery and Dr. George McAllister on one team."
Meera gets down from the desk, Ethan unable to meet her gaze. 
"I understand you are trying to protect me, you are trying to do your part, but you are not doing it right. Put up more security, have the police, fire department and bomb squad on your speed dial, heck start reasearch for unknown toxins already do whatever you need to do on your part and let me do my part." Meera completes with a humourless smile and strides out of her husband's office, Ethan still unable to look upto his wife's retreating figure. 
"Dr. McAllister please…" Tobias stops midway as Meera enters the conference room. "Any luck?" she asked.
"Dr. McAllister doesn't want to disobey the Chief's order," Harper puts down her head, dejected. 
"Look Dr. Bose, I am as intrigued as you are but this is going to be a huge surgery not to mention a huge deal for the hospital as well, if I don't get everybody on the same page, it'll be difficult. So tell me the chief changed his mind and I am yours," Dr. McAllister looked upto Meera. 
Meera looked at the eyes of all the three doctors, everyone hoping for a positive answer.
She cleared her throat, "the chief actually… did n…"
"... did change his mind," Ethan interrupts, completing Meera's sentence. He went ahead and shook hands with all three of the doctors, finally extending his hand to Meera. Still not being able to believe what happened just now Meera shakes his hand. "Don't cry now," he said, dropping his voice to a whisper, so that only she could hear. 
"Dr. McAllister, Dr. Emery, whatever you need, any resources, any equipments, I am your guy. The diagnostic team will look over the progress and the paperwork of the case. I want y'all to make a small core team of nurses, interns and residents who will be involved in the case. The senator will be shifted to the farthest east wing of the hospital. There will be guards posted in front of his cabin, a metal detector will also be put up, the only visitors allowed will be his family. The core team will be on a toxin screening and closely monitored to prevent any accidents."
"Thank you Dr. Ramsey," Tobias said, smiling genuinely. 
"The pleasures all mine, now get to work people," Ethan grinned before leaving the room. 
"You heard the man, get to work and I will be right back," Meera said, unable to stop smiling. 
Meera jogged upto Ethan and pulled him into a supply closet. 
"Damn Bose, I think smooth was my middle name," Ethan said, locking the door behind him.
"No smartass is your first, middle and last name," Meera said, capturing Ethan's lips and deepening the kiss. "I am sorry."
"No, if anyone should apologise it has to be me Rookie, I was way out of line."
"That you were," Meera grinned.
"And you know what is the best way to apologise? Sex."
"There is a patient dying! Come back to your senses Ethan," Meera smacked his shoulder.
"Okay give me ten minutes?"
"No."
"Five?"
Meera looked at him confused. 
"Oh believe me five is enough to make your toes curl," Ethan said. 
"No!" Meera stepped away, "Listen, let me just frame out a treatment plan and then I'll come find you in your office," Meera placed her lips on Ethan's, sealing the deal with a kiss. "I'll be right back."
"Rookie," Ethan stopped her at the doorway, "just don't hurt yourself again."
Meera looked at the genuine concern all over Ethan's face, "you got it," she smiled walking out. 
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Thank you so much if you have read till here, it means the world to me. Hope to see you go on other different adventures with me, Ethan and Meera, till then sending love and hugs your way! ❤️
Slowly going through the remaining requests which will be posted as soon as possible. Sorry for all the inconvenience and thank you for bearing with me while I sorted real life problems. In the meantime if you want to send in more requests feel free to do so. But please be sure to check out this post to avoid repetition.
Taglist : @starrystarrytrouble @mm2305 @charisworld @choicesfanaf @potionsprefect @genevievemd  @shanzay44 @little-flowers-on-heaven @schnitzelbutterfingers  @coffeeheartaddict  @gryffindordaughterofathena @chemist-ana @adiehardfan-deactivated20211021 @custaroonie @ireneadlerisseggsy @takemyopenheart @natureblooms24 @mainstreetreader @lawyerlies @a-crepusculo @quixoticdreamer16 @starryeyedrookie @sincerelyscarring @thebluestonedpendant @kit-rookie-princess @wanderingamongthewildflowers @peonierose
+ @openheartfanfics + @choicesficwriterscreations + @wackydrabbles + @choicesmonthlychallenge
Please let me know if you want to be added or removed. 💜
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boldlyvoid · 3 years
Text
New Romantics | Part Three
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18+
Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.
Categories: Fake dating, neighbours, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, Angst with a happy ending, Smut *as selected by my poll on what you wanted to read*
Warnings: Season 9 Spencer (no Maeve arc), Angst, kissing, drinking, police training mentions, case details, canon typical violence, self-doubt, autistic!spencer, age gaps (24/33), FWB relationships, period mentions, anxiety attacks, crying, misunderstandings,
Word Count: 4.7K
a/n: this chapter covers the whole week from Monday to Friday, thank you @awrfhi for making the gif I used here <3
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five
Monday morning she’s in his arms still, and then again on Tuesday; he basically lives with her when he’s not on a case. They make dinner together at night and they drive in together every morning, and they have had sex all over her apartment… and he loves her but he was tired when he said it and in a post-orgasm haze and he’s her best friend.
But he loved her— just not the way she loved him. She was sure of it.
Tuesday morning at 10:53 am, she cracks her fake case. They’re apprehending the unsub by Noon and then she has the rest of the week off. So she heads to the main Quantico building, she gets a visitor's pass and she takes the elevator all the way up to the BAU.
She walks through the bullpen doors and Spencer is sitting at his little desk with his head buried in a book. Penelope sees her first, wrapping her up in a hug that gets everyone’s attention as she rocks her back and forth while telling her how much she likes her.
“You are so pretty, and nice and cute, and your hair smells so good?”
“Thank you, it’s Spencer's shampoo,” she laughs as she holds her back, “I just wanted to come and see him really quick?”
He’s standing beside her and she doesn’t even know until Penelope releases her from her grasp. He wraps her up next, “why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
She kisses him right on the mouth, holding his face in her hands she has missed him too much to wait till they are alone again, “I caught the unsub.”
“No way?”
She nods feverishly, “yeah remember I found that stray hair on the crime scene? Everyone was fighting over why there wasn’t a sexual aspect and I was trying to convince them she was a women unsub when the hair came back matching our victims best friend, who also knew victim number 1.”
He’s so happy, his smile is the biggest any of his teammates have ever seen, he lifts her and twirls her around and no one can believe the sight. Spencer Reid the uptight, overly smart, always following proper procedure, Doctor at the FBI; was spinning his girlfriend around as he kissed her cheek.
“You are a genius,” he compliments her as he sets her back down and places another kiss on her lips.
“I know,” she laughs, “I beat your score by one day.”
“I hate you,” he kisses her again and by now they don’t realize they have an audience. It’s incredibly convincing to everyone except each other.
“No, you love me,” she whispers, kissing him again before they hear someone clear their throat.
“Do you want to help with ours?” Derek asks, jumping into the moment and reminding them that they’re in public. “We’re just doing non-urgent consults today.”
“Am I allowed?” She lights up.
Derek nods, “I don’t see why not, as long as you just tell your ideas to us and don’t file anything then I think it’s legal?”
So she helps and it’s the most exhilarating thing since having sex with Spencer. She’s in her element, looking at small details and making connections that even leave Spencer humming and ha-ing. She has a younger insight than the rest of the team, she’s exactly why they hired Spencer in the first place and now she was shining brighter than him.
But he loved it.
Every time she made a connection or she had a suggestion that helped one of them on their own train of thought, Spencer would smile at her like she hung the stars in the night sky. He was proud of her in a way she hasn’t seen in many people before, filling her heart with warmth and hope that maybe he can love her for real one day.
She was possibly the love of his life and the more he saw her work and the more he knew her mind; the more he fell. She walked around his office and talked to his friends as if she was always meant to be there, and a part of him really wanted her to be.
He snuck away to go talk to Hotch, closing his office door as he sat down, “what’s wrong?”
“Y/N isn’t really my girlfriend,” he whispers. “She’s pretending so I could get everyone to stop bothering me about dating, and I understand it looks like she’s using me to get close to the team but I really do think she would be an excellent asset to the unit even if she was just in the office—“
“Reid,” Hotch cuts him off and a smile builds. “I already sent her an offer to take Anderson's job while he’s out on paternity leave.”
“Oh,” he smiles to himself. “Pretend I never said anything.”
“It stays in these 4 walls, don’t worry,” Hotch smiles back, “but you should tell her.”
“Tell her what?”
“That you’re in love with her.”
“I’m not,” he lies, “really, I do love her but I’m not in love with her, there is a difference.”
“I know,” Hotch reminds him. “Did you know that I only joined the school musical to get close to Haley? I did whatever I could to get her to fall in love with me and didn’t even realize it when she did because I was so worried she didn’t.”
“Oh.”
Hotch nods with another smile, “you don’t have to tell her until you’re ready, obviously, but you should tell her before it’s too late.”
“I will,” he whispers. “Thanks, Aaron.”
“Why don’t you guys head out early?” He offers, “we could all use a day off with the people we love.”
When he walks back down from Aaron's office, Y/N is with Emily and JJ discussing how she caught her fake unsub at school that morning. She doesn’t brag, she loves to mention her classmates by name and verbatim explains how they helped her. She is a team player, a genius, beautiful, kind… she really is the love of his life.
“Hey,” he places his hand on her lower back as he slides into the conversation. “Hotch said we can all leave early if we wanted?”
“Sure,” she smiles, “actually, did you want to come with me to buy a dress for your thing?”
“That would be fun,” he agrees, wrapping his other arm around her so he can rest his chin on her shoulder and hold her. “Remember I’m buying it so don’t stress about the price.”
“You’re too nice to me,” she replies.
“I just love you,” his voice is as low as he can make it but everyone still hears.
She holds him back tighter, in a silent ‘I love you, too’ and they hear JJ and Emily swoon.
They’re quick to get their things and head out, she hands Spencer her keys and lets him drive to the mall so she can relax, she’s done a lot today.
She’s so quiet on the drive, she holds his hand like she always does and she just looks out the window, she’s peaceful and content with the nothingness of spending alone time with Spencer. They were always just quiet together, sometimes they laughed till they cried and sometimes he could make her scream but most of the time they were quiet.
“Have you checked your email?”
She smiles as she turns to him and her grip on his hand tightened, “what did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything, I just told hotch the truth so that he could offer you a job, but he already had before I went in there but he’s a good secret keeper, believe me.”
“Oh,” her smile disappears. “So he knows we’re not really dating?”
He nods, “Is that okay?”
“Yeah, I guess we’re going to have to find a convincing way to break up for them and still be able to hang out all the time,” she worries aloud. “Because I don’t want to stop this any time soon, I hope you know that. I really like spending time with you.”
“I feel the same way,” he agrees. “I promise, we can just tell them we work better as friends and they might believe us?”
“I don’t think they will,” she frowns again. “JJ told me not to break your heart today, but I feel like if we break up I’m going to break all of theirs.”
“We could have a fake ugly breakup, and not talk to each other publicly for a bit and then be friends again?” He suggests, “Penelope and Kevin did that.”
She nods, still frowning. She interlocks their fingers this time and she holds his hand instead of just anxiously fiddling with his fingers. She really doesn’t want to let go, and he’s almost convinced she feels the same way.
The banquet is on Saturday, she has one last week of school before her graduation and then they’re done. He thinks about asking her, about what would be the best time to tell her he was in love with her and ask her to be his real girlfriend.
Maybe he’ll do it after the banquet? Maybe he’ll do it after her graduation? He just really wants to do it before she meets his mom. He wants his mom to meet her as the love of his life and his best friend.
He hated many things, but as he kept glancing at her as he drove he realized he hated one thing most of all. He hated that he couldn’t love her as much as she deserved, at least not yet. He wanted to shower her in love, he wanted to protect her and care for her, he wanted to show her off and make love to her and never leave her side.
It hurts, his heart physically aches as he thinks about that. If he had to feel like this to know his love was real, then the pain was worth it. She was always worth it, and he would hurt as long as possible, forever even, if it meant he could be around her just as long.
He held her hand tighter in the silence which made her turn to him, he had no idea he had been crying until she leans over and wipes his cheeks, “I love you, you know that?”
“I love you too,” he smiles but he can’t keep the conversation there, he’s feeling trapped and so he changes the topic. “What colour dress were you thinking?”
The quick-change makes her laugh, “probably black.”
“Are you sure?”
She nods, “I don’t need to stand out beside you any more than I already do.”
“What does that mean?”
She bits her lip, “some of the people in my class are saying that I’m only doing so well because you’re helping me cheat and that I’m just fucking you to get a job… just like I thought they would.”
“At the end of the day, we have a friendship they will never understand, we have great sex because we want to, you’re smarter than me, and the BAU wants you… so who is the real winner?” He’s always going to be her number one cheerleader.
“You’re right,” she smiles again finally, “as always.”
He convinces her to get a red dress.
She hasn’t had a pretty dress like this one since her prom and that was 6 years ago. She hasn’t been to a party or mingled with people in just as long, she didn’t realize how lonely she had been while chasing her dreams until Spencer came along.
He was one of the dreams. She saw him talk once, years ago on a school trip, and she fell in love with him a little, even back then. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to be him or be with him back then, doing everything in her power to get into the criminal psych degree at her local college, she just wanted to be like him.
Now she’s liked by him.
Every night he goes to his home across the hall and he does his own nightly routine before coming back to her apartment for the night. She’s too emotional to sleep with him today, she knows that if she has sex with him she’s going to say something stupid or cry after because being this close to him without being honest with him is killing her.
Something in him has changed too, he’s less scared to initiate contact, he doesn’t jump anymore when she hugs him or when she smacks his bum as she passes him. Now he’s wrapping his arms around her while she cooks dinner, and he kisses her cheek randomly when they’re in public.
He tells her that he loves her.
She’s confused and she has no one to talk to about it.
She lays back against her pillows and closes her eyes, she knows she’s going to cry soon, and she doesn’t know what to do because she doesn’t want to cry in front of him and he would be upset if she told him to not come back tonight.
The stress of the situation just makes her cry more as she stresses herself into another anxiety attack, much like the first night she talked to him. She just lets it happen, the anxiety in her stomach builds and the tears slip past her eyes and suddenly she’s sobbing into her pillow hard enough that she doesn’t hear him come back.
She jumps at the feeling of his hand on her back as he sits on the edge of the bed, “what’s wrong?”
She just sits up and hugs him, and he hugs her back and they stay there like that for a while. When she calms down, she pulls back from him and wipes her eyes, “my period is coming.” She’s not really lying, and he believes her.
“Does it normally make you this emotional?”
He’s never really experienced her mood swings, he has no idea what he’s in for, she nods. “Yeah, and I have really bad anxiety which just gets worse around this time.”
“And you’re not on anything?”
She shakes her head, “I’m waiting to get onto the good healthcare when I get a job with the bureau, I can’t afford to work and go to school, I’m glad I had enough scholarship money left to rent this place long enough to go to the academy.”
“Oh.”
She just nods, “I’ve never had much money like my parents have been saving for 2 years to buy plane tickets to Virginia so that they can see me graduate. They started saving before I even got in. I went to community college on a scholarship and I get a lot of money from applying for bursaries.”
“Are you going to take the CARD job or the BAU offer?”
She shrugs, “I’m not sure yet, but probably CARD.”
“Why?”
“I can’t work with you,” she whispers. “It makes me feel like I don’t deserve to be there like I’m using you and that all my work isn’t that great. I’m just Doctor Spencer Reids girlfriend.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way, imposter syndrome is a leading factor in depression among child prodigies, once you reach a certain age and you stop receiving awards for your work, it’s hard to believe that you’re still doing a good job.”
She knows he gets it, he has probably said the same fact to himself to calm down before. “Thank you.”
“Do you want me to stay?”
She nods, pulling back the covers and moving over so he can snuggle in beside her. She holds him, resting her head on his chest and taking a deep inhale of his cologne, this was the love of her life and if this was as close as she was ever going to be to him, she was going to take it.
He kisses the top of her head and holds her in his arms at just the right pressure to calm her down. She feels so comfortable with him but she still feels like shit, she doesn’t stop crying, and he just holds her through it.
“Do you want to tell me what’s really wrong?” He whispers after a while, he sounds worried.
“No,” she whispers. “I can’t.”
“Is it about me?”
“Yeah,” she cries again, “and I don’t have any other friends to talk to about us and now you’ve told hotch and I have no one to talk to about how this is kinda stressing me out.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” his voice is still scared and she knows he’s going to panic regardless and just send them around in a circle of constant anxiety. But his tone is more apologetic than one fuck up.
“Who else did you tell?” She sits up, “I thought this was just between us?”
“I needed advice, the same reason you are reacting right now, you’re stressing me out,” Spencer finally talks back with passion and she knows they’re about to fight for no reason.
“I never said you were stressing me out. I said our situation was, but I think I need to sleep alone now, Spencer” she’s confident and stern even though she’s crying.
“We can’t go to bed mad at each other. You even said the mornings are the worst, we can’t hate each other for no reason tomorrow,” he starts to cry, not knowing where he went wrong and she can see it on his face.
“I just don’t have what you have, and I’ve always been trying to copy you…”
“What?”
She sighs and wipes her tears, “I have had a big fat, fan-girly, crush on you since I was 18, I came here with my class to watch you do a talk on philias and phobias and then I knew I wanted to get into the academy and I wanted to beat your record and join the BAU, and I just thought; one day I’m going to be friends with this guy and catch bad guys with him and now I am and I’m so alone.”
“You have me?”
“I know,” she tries to smile, “but I only have you and I can tell you almost everything. Like my biggest stressor right now is that if just looking at fake crime scenes for 3 weeks has made me this anxious; what if I’m not cut out for this? What if I get to a real crime scene and I pass out or—“
“That’s only human,” he presses his lips together, awkwardly, and very Spencerly. “If you didn’t feel like this job makes you hate the world and untrusting of everyone around you; then I would think you’re crazy.”
“How do you do it?”
“I open up and let people in, but I typically wait till I’m at my lowest; crying in my friend's arms because I don’t know what to do anymore,” he smiles again, wider and toothy as she smiles back.
“Thank you,” she can’t help but tilt her head and smile as her heart settles and her brain calms down a bit, “I love you.”
“Can I kiss you or is that too much right now?”
She gets in closer to him, laying back down on the pillow and looking at him. They’re closer enough to kiss, and she just takes a moment to look at him, resting her hand on his cheek as he wraps around her waist and pulls her in closer.
“We’re okay?” He asks with his lips right against her, his breath is hot and he smells like toothpaste.
“We’re okay, but no more talking tonight, okay?” She whispers.
He nods, leaning in and kissing her finally. She knows she shouldn’t be kissing him, she knows that she should be mad at herself, but she also knew that even just pretending that he loved her back was good enough.
He gets called away to a case on Wednesday morning, he’s too busy to really call her and he doesn’t text back. He feels bad about it but he knows she wanted space to think anyway, what he didn’t expect was for her to reach out to Penelope.
She’s in the office with her on Friday, tired of Spencer ignoring her so she went to the one place he couldn’t avoid her; Penelope’s office.
“How can I help you today, my fine furry friends?” Y/N answers the phone with a smirk, copying Penelope’s line perfectly, they can hear them high five through the line.
“Y/N?” Spencer is the first to catch it, “what are you doing there?”
“I came to meet Anderson and see if I’d like to take his job or not,” she teases, pretending she wasn’t there just to bother him.
Hotch cuts in, asking the question he needed to ask before hanging up, “not sure what’s going on at home but we’re too close to cracking this case for schoolyard games.”
“Yes sir,” he nods and looks away, retreating to the other side of the room to stare at the map and pretend to find connections.
“Crack this and you can go home to her,” Derek whispers with a smile, thinking he’s helping the situation.
“That’s not where I want to be right now.”
“Woah,” Derek catches it, “what happened?”
“Nothing,” he’s quick to get him to stop it but he really wants advice, “she’s stressed out and she took it out on me and I wasn’t very nice back.”
“You said sorry and you pretended you were over it, didn’t you?”
He turns away from Derek with a nod, he wants to come out with it and get it over with and he’s so mad and embarrassed he just starts to cry a little, “I don’t want to lose her.”
“How could you?”
“You have no idea,” he rolls his eyes lightly and scoffs, confusing Derek.
“And I won't unless you want to talk to someone about what’s really bothering you, but you’ve been happier since you met her and I like seeing you happy, and Savannah likes double dates,” he scolds him with a smile, patting his shoulder lightly. “now let's crack this and maybe on the plane you will tell me what’s up?”
“Sure,” he says, but he doesn’t want to.
However, Derek Morgan is good at a lot of things, and one of those things is getting Spencer to calm down enough to tell him anything. Everyone is asleep on the plane, it’s just the two of them at the back together when Spencer finally feels confident enough to say it.
“I lied to you, a long time ago… and it’s just the first one.”
Derek doesn’t look angry, “okay, explain your thought process. I need to know how this pretty brain of yours works.”
He smiles a bit, “I slept with Elle the night before she shot that rapist in Ohio.”
“You did not?” Derek's voice gets a little too loud and they stop to make sure no one woke up.
“I did, but you still always made jokes about finally getting me some lovin’ and it bothered me for a while and I never told you, instead I offered to help my neighbour with her homework if she pretended to date me,” his voice lowers as the words continue and he only stares at the table between them.
“Spencer, I’m sorry,” Derek apologizes first. “I didn’t know I was upsetting you, is there anything else I do that upsets you?”
He shakes his head in a silent no, still not looking at him, he can't.
“What happened between you and Y/N?” He jumps to the main issue, fine with what happened because he feels bad for causing the issue in the first place.
“We started sleeping together.”
Derek sighs, “you have such a big brain, you can remember everything she’s ever said to you and yet you can’t see that she’s in love with you.”
“She’s good at pretending,” he pushes it away.
“No she’s not, because she’s pretending she doesn’t love you right now; the same way you are and you’re both fucking it up for each other,” Derek gives it to him straight. “You have always been loveable, but you have a very hard time accepting it, Spencer.”
“Yeah,” he starts to cry a little more.
“Go home and talk to her and tell her the truth,” it’s the best advice he can give and Spencer knows it. “What’s the worst that can go wrong?”
“She does love me back but in a few years, she realizes I’m too much and she leaves me,” his voice is the saddest Derek has ever heard it.
He gets up from his seat and hugs Spencer, sliding into the seat beside him and wrapping his arms around him, “you have never been too much. You just surround yourself with people who aren’t good enough to love you for who you are.”
“She’s better than me.”
“Which is exactly what I mean, she’s not going to leave you, believe me, once you love Spencer Reid for who he really is, it’s hard to stop,” he speaks from experience, thinking of what could have been between them if either of them had tried harder in the past.
“She’s the love of my life,” he confirms, “I’m never going to love anyone else the way I love her.”
They get the word that they’re going to be landing soon, Spencer wipes his tears and buckles in for the descent, avoiding everyone’s stares and questions on the ride back to headquarters. He’s nervous to see her, he knows his face is puffy and she’ll be there waiting for him with Penelope, but he has to do it.
“Would you wait here, I need to tell her now and she might not give me a ride home if it doesn’t go well,” he asks Derek before heading to Penelope, “she was already mad at me for telling Hotch the truth.”
“Okay, sure,” Derek smiles, reaching out a hand for Spencer, “come to me when you need me next time, okay?”
“Okay,” he agrees with a small smile, heading out to find his fake girlfriend.
She’s not with Penelope, no she’s in the filing room with Anderson and the other temps all talking and laughing, and it sounds far too interesting to interrupt. He waits outside the door and smiles at her laughter until he hears it.
“So be honest,” Agent Camden asks, “are you sleeping with Reid for this job?”
“If I was sleeping my way to the top, don’t you think I would have picked Morgan? Or Prentiss even?” She laughs and it’s like someone stabs a knife through his heart.
He turns around and heads back to Derek, “take me home.”
“Okay,” he doesn’t pry, he just grabs his coat and keys and follows Spencer to the garage.
He’s really ignoring her.
She finds out from Emily that Spencer left with Derek, and that he looked rather pissed off when he asked for a ride. It breaks her heart a little and she doesn’t know what to do next, she just drives home and finds herself knocking on his door.
“Let me in, please, Spencer!” She begs from behind his door.
He opens it and looks at her with a puffy red face, tear-stained cheeks and swollen lips, he’s been crying for a while. “What?”
“What did I do?”
“You slept with me,” he whispers, “and I told you I wouldn’t react well.”
“Is it my fault you’re crying?” She asks softly and he nods, “do you want to tell me?”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head, “are we still going to the banquet together tomorrow?”
“I really fucked up,” is all he can muster, crying again as he closes the door and goes to cry in his room.
She just opens the door again and follows him inside. Kicking off her shoes she crawls into bed beside him and wraps herself around him, “you don’t have to tell me but I am here for you, always.”
“I love you,” he says it like it’s the problem before he rests his head in the crook of her neck and holds her back for the first time in days.
“I love you, too, Spencer,” she cries along with him. They cry until he’s asleep and she’s just there holding him in her jeans and she’s really uncomfortable but she loves him too much to let go.
“More than you will ever know.”
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reidyoulikeabook · 3 years
Text
Invisible String
Ship: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid
Warnings: None, this is just fluff.
Word count: 3.2k
Summary: You and Spencer Reid don’t know it, but you’ve almost met quite a few times. What happens when you do?
A/N: This is potentially a bit on the wrong side of the cheesy line, but I was listening to invisible string by Taylor Swift and couldn’t get this idea out of my head. Pls bare in mind I’m from the UK and my only understanding of the US college system is from Google searches, so pls be forgiving of any misunderstandings about that.
November 6th, 2007
Dr. Spencer Reid. As you sat, thumbing through the article he’d written about the formation of ionic compounds in a chemical whose name you could not for the life of you spell or pronounce, you couldn’t help but resent the man.
Sure, the paper was very well-written and as cohesive as possible given the complex subject matter. But Dr. Spencer Reid, whoever he was, was the current source of your resentment at selecting chemistry to make up your science credit. Highlighting the name of a substance you’d have to look up later, you sighed. It was getting late but you had to hand in a critical summary of the paper on Friday.
It didn’t help that Dr. Reid was: a) a triple doctorate holder by the age of 22, or b) that your chemistry lecturer was none other than his old chemistry lecturer from Caltech and practically glowed with pride whenever he got to bring him up.
You chew on the end of your pen, having now distracted yourself from the notes. Not that you were particularly focused anyway.
In another life, maybe you’d have been a budding chemist who could describe an ionic lattice off rote. In this one, however, you’d just have to settle for slogging through the list of chemical processes and hoping you understood it well enough to please Dr. Reid’s biggest fan.
***
April 16th, 2008
Spencer hated flaking on commitments. It caused him a great deal of anxiety, the feeling of disappointing someone. He didn’t have much choice in this circumstance though.
Diana had taken ill over the last weekend. Nothing serious, some stomach bug or other. She’d become severely dehydated though, and had been hospitalised as a precautionary measure. Truth be told, he might not have gone if she hadn’t caught him on the phone. He was already feeling guilty for not having visited since Christmas. He wrote her letters everyday, yet still felt like he was neglecting his duties as a son. Rubbing his hands over his face, he lets out a deep sigh. Then takes out his laptop, to send another email.
Dear. Dr Abraham
I sincerely apologise again for my last minute cancellation. Excluding any unforeseen circumstances, myself and SSA Hotchner will be available to present the lecture on May 12th.
Yours sincerely,
Dr. Spencer Reid.
***
May 12th, 2008
Considering this was your third year on campus, you sure were bad at finding your way around. In your defence, they were doing maintenance in one of the main buildings, meaning that lectures got shuffled around and relocated. You probably had a higher change of attending the right lecture by accident than on purpose.
It doesn’t help that you’re running a little late this morning. You rush into Room 203. A lot of the seats are taken, you have to meander your way past quite a few people until you end up sat almost directly in the middle. Only moments before the lecture starts.
“I’m SSA Hotchner, and this is SSA Reid. We’re members of the BAU which is based at FBI quarters in Quantico. Today, we’ll be talking to you about profiling.”
This is not your forensic linguistics lecture.
Panic hits you, hot in your gut. Scanning the room anxiously, you suddenly become conscious that you’re drawing attention to yourself when you feel the eyes of the man who is not SSA Hotchner on you. Fuck.
There’s no way for you to escape now, not without disturbing half the lecture hall.
So you sit back in your seat, resigning yourself to sit awkwardly in the lecture you’re not supposed to be in and hoping nobody notices.
But then, it’s really interesting, actually. The work that Dr. Reid does sounds similar to work you’ve done in forensic linguistics, analysing patterns of speech and minor phrase formations that can give things away about the perpetrator. By the end of the seminar, you’re sat leaning forward. Enraptured by almost every word coming out of their mouths.
It seems to be the general mood: everyone is enamoured. People are clammering to speak to them at the end. After a brief inner battle, myou decide that you should talk to them too.
What’s the harm?
You’ve decided that you’ll speak to Dr. Reid, since he seems to share more of a field focus. However, as you’re heading down, you spot him. Dr Adams, your chemistry lecturer from last year. Oh shit, it’s that Dr. Reid.
Speaking to SSA Hotchner will just have to do instead.
----
“I’ve been majoring in forensic linguistics and criminal psychology,” You tell him, “Do you think ... I mean, I know it’s a pretty exclusive team to get on to. But is that the kind of thing that could maybe get me there one day?”
Hotchner nods, “Forensic linguistics is something that comes in very useful in the investigative aspects of cases. The FBI is always looking for new angles and perspectives, those are both good subjects to study if you were thinking of signing up to the academy.”
"Thank you, Agent Hotchner,” You say, suddenly a little bashful as you notice the queue of people lingering behind you, “That was a really interesting lecture. It’s definitely something I’ll think about.”
“You should talk to Dr. Reid if you have a particular interest in the linguistic aspect of profiling. He’s more specialised in that area than I am. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to discuss any research you’re conducting at the moment and suggest materials that might be helpful in furthering your understanding of the area.”
“Thank you,” You smile, and he nods at you again.
Stepping away from Agent Hotchner, you look to your right. Dr. Reid is still engaged deeply in conversation with Dr. Adams. You glance at your watch. There was time before your next class, you supposed, so you could wait. It couldn’t hurt to find out more, could it? It wasn‘t like you were getting your hopes up or anything.
It’s then that you feel a pair of arms around your waist, a familiar scent of cologne.
“Hey!” You whip around to see your boyfriend, grinning widely.
“Hey,” You reply, “How’d you find me?”
“I was walking past when I saw you talking to that FBI agent. Seriously, FBI?” He asks, with a disapproving quirk of his eyebrow, “You want to grab a coffee before Psych?”
You want to say no. But he’s got his hand on the small of your back, leading  you out of the room before you even get a chance to reply. You glance back over your shoulder, making eye contact with Dr. Reid for all of two seconds before you’re swept away.
“Seriously though babe, FBI?”
Unsurpisingly, you don’t mention your potential change in career path to him.
***
March 8th, 2009
“Come in,” Hotch calls. He looks up from the paperwork on his desk to see Spencer entering the room, clutching a report in his hand.
“That last case we were on. I was doing some more research, just for future reference about linguistic patterns. Have you read this?” He asks, sliding a copy of your paper across the desk.
Hotch gives it a cursary look over, nodding, “Yes. It’s interesting. She’s signed up as an NAT. I believe I actually spoke to her at one of our lectures last year.”
"Her work is really impressive for somebody whose only studied this at a master level.”
Hotch almost smiles, “Yes. That’s exactly why I’ve recommended to the bureau that she signs up for profiling classes. Her work shows a lot of promise. They’re sending over a copy of her completed thesis, if you’d like to read it.”
“Yeah, I’d like that, thank you,” Spencer says, struggling to conceal the smile playing on the corner of his lips.
“I’ll email it to you as soon as I receive it.”
Spencer nods, smiling properly to himself as he leaves the room. It wasn’t unusual, exactly, for him to share new research that was relevant to cases. It was important that they all kept themselves fresh and acquainted with new theories about the field. Hotch, however, didn’t miss the excited way Spencer had presented it to him. Talking about how impressive you were, as if to subtly hint. He thinks it’s quite typical, actually, that Spencer could take such an interest in someone he only knew via an essay.
Although Spencer’s response does get Hotch to send a follow-up email, inquiring about whether you’d agreed to the classes. If Spencer was this impressed with your work, it must be good.
***
June 1st, 2009
The Metro that morning is packed. It doesn’t help that you’ve not been living here long, and don’t exactly know the route from your flat to the station off by heart yet.
You'd also had to make a detour to the post office. Your, firmly ex, boyfriend had mailed over the last of your things. Really, it was good riddance. His hounding you about your choice in job had only worsened. The relationship had been hanging on by a thread long before you’d moved away last month. You were more than a little grateful that it was finally over, that you could draw a line under it all and focus on your career.
Unfortunately, that hadn’t stopped you having a little cry to yourself on the way over.
Rushing, you make it onto the Metro just as the doors are about to close, falling against the railing on the left side. You grip onto it for dear life.
On the other side of the carriage, Spencer notices someone hurrying for the train. He had been buried deep in the paper he's reading, but the bustle had pulled his attention. Your back is to him, and there’s a scarf at your feet. He wants to say something, to try and get your attention, but he can’t from where he is.
“Miss, I think you’ve dropped something,” The woman you’re standing in front of says, gesturing to the scarf pooled at your feet.
You meet her eyes, sniffling slightly, “Thank you.”
Spencer watches as you pick it up, back still to him. Crisis averted, he turns his attention back to what he's reading: the published copy of your thesis Hotch had emailed him last week.
***
September 2nd, 2009
"This is SSA ____, the newest member of our team. She’s recently graduated from the academy and has an excellent knowledge of linguistics that the bureau feels will be a great advantage to this team. She’s had her induction and now will be joining the team on a probationary basis. She’ll be spending a little time with each of you in between cases to make sure she forms well-rounded knowledge of all aspects of what we do.”
It’s a little overwhelming, having everybody’s eyes on you.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” Emily is the first over, offering her hand for you to shake.
“You too, it’s really nice to meet all of you,” You say, shaking hands in turn with her, Morgan, Rossi, J.J, and Garcia.
“Hi,” Spencer calls from behind you.
You turn around to face him. You remember what Hotch had mentioned to you about him being a bit of a germaphobe, so you keep your hand by your side.
“Hi,” You say, “Dr. Reid, right?”
“You can call me Spencer,” He says, a little bashful, “I read your thesis, the study about you did about the construction of passive clauses as an indicator of guilt in adolescent offenders. It was fascinating.”
You feel yourself getting a little warm under his gaze, “Thank you. I'm surprised you’re even aware it existed.”
Hotch interrupts then, “Reid, do you want to sit with ____ while she goes over the case file? It’d be useful if you could go over how you’d go about constructing a linguistic profile.”
That’s how you end up spending much of your first day: with Spencer, huddled up over case files as he explains his profile-building process to you. Spencer’s an incredible teacher, you think. He explains his thought process without ever being condescending, leaving little gaps for you to answer.
You’re incredible, Spencer thinks. You seem to grasp exactly what he’s saying, filling in the gaps based on the clues that are actually in front of you, not letting yourself be guided too much by bias.
***
October 29th, 2009
Spencer loves everyone at the BAU. They’re all the family he never had, and he has relatively good friendships with all of them. Just, they aren’t quite the same as they are with you.
He struggles to put his finger on it, exactly. It’s a unique relationship. He shares very familial bonds with a lot of them: he and Morgan are brotherly, Rossi is fatherly, Garcia’s somewhat like an overexcited little sister.
The friendship he has with you is special. You always listen to him, even as he rambles on about inane things that anybody else would tell him to shut up about. In fact, sometimes about the exact things that they do tell him to shut up about. Just last week, he was rambling on about Star Trek when Morgan told him, not altogether unkindly, to “give it a rest, kid.”
“What was that you were saying?” You’d asked, sidling up to him, “I’ve never watched Star Trek but I thought the quote was beam me up Scotty.”
He’d looked at you, considering you for a moment, “You don’t have to-”
“I know. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know Spence. You think I’d ask for a 15 minute lecture on Star Trek if I wasn’t interested in it?”
A warm feeling flooded his chest. The look on your face was so genuine, and you’d perched on the edge of his desk as he gesticulated, getting deep into the lore and how the misconception had come about. He still didn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, until he got to the end of his spiel. And then you asked him a question. You asked him a question to make sure you understood what he was talking about. You were listening the whole time, and you genuinely cared about the point he was making.
It's then that he realises, it was hard to pinpoint because it wasn’t friendship. He likes you. Shit.
***
November 2nd, 2009
You like everybody at the BAU. They’re all quite patient with you, really, happy to walk you through how they do things. Morgan’s taught you quite a bit about the tactical side of things already, and Rossi has been working with you on your interrogation techniques. Emily’s generally just a great mentor, always happy to listen and support however she can. She’s more experienced, but still relatively new to the team too, so you feel like there’s a certain understanding between you.
However, you’d definitely be lying if you said the person you hadn’t learnt the most from, or spent the most time with, was Spencer.
It hadn’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the team, either. You seemed to gravitate towards one another, forever sitting side-by-side on the plane. Sharing a line of thinking that usually led to devolved rambling, and scribbling, until you came up with something coherent.
It isn’t until November 2nd that you realise you have feelings for him.
You’re sitting at your desk, filling out a case report that Emily had promised to go over with you before she left for lunch.
“Hey,” Spencer’s familiar soothing voice comes, as he sidles up to you, “I got you something.”
Looking up, you notice the coffee cup in his right hand, “You are my caffeine lifesaver.”
He hands it to you, smiling a little nervously, “It’s actually not that.”
“Oh?”
His other hand is tucked behind his back, and he pulls it foward towards you, brandishing a red sweatshirt.
“I know you uh, left your red sweater behind at the hotel on the last case. And I know it was your favourite one, and I was shopping yesterday and I saw this and...” He trails off, embarassed, “It’s not the exact same, but it’s the same kind. I just thought you might like it.”
You swallow, hard, “Spencer that’s so sweet. C-Can I hug you?”
He nods. Standing up from your desk, you wrap your arms around his frame.
“That was so thoughtful.”
He squeezes you a little, really leaning into the hug, his face pressing against your shoulder. His tousled hair tickles your nose a little and you smile, clinging onto him, relishing in the feeling of safety and warmth.
It hits you then. When you realise you don’t want to let go. When you realise he makes you feel fuzzy. Loved. Cared for in a way you haven’t felt in a long time. Eventually, you have to let him go, and it’s in a daze that you return to your desk. You’re so concentrated on your overwhelming realisation, you don’t realise how reluctant he is to let you leave his embrace.
***
December 22nd, 2009
Driving Spencer home from the office was really just an excuse to get some time alone with him. You’d said something about the Metro being busy, one of the services being cancelled. He hadn’t factchecked you on that.
The BAU had tentative plans for boxing day, with the caveat being that no emergent cases arrived in the meantime. It was only really four days you wouldn’t see him, but that was longer than you’d ever gone without seeing him in all the time you’d known him. You worked together everyday, and it was unusual for you to go a full weekend without seeing each other. Recently, you’d got into the habit of going out for Sunday brunch together.
Pulling up outside his house, you hear him sigh.
“I know it’s only four days, but I’ll miss you.”
Smiling, you turn to him, “I’ll miss you too.” 
Something in you changes then. He’s looking at you. You may be relatively new to profiling but you can see something behind his eyes, feel the charge of unsaid words electrifying the air.
“Can I hug you?” He asks.
“You can always hug me,” You reply, undoing your seatbelt and opening your arms for him.
He embraces you the way he always has: tightly. Like he doesn’t want to let go, couldn’t imagine ever letting you go. His face nuzzles to the crook of your neck, and then you feel his thumb brush your chin. Tilting your head down.
You exchange a look. His eyes flicker from your eyes, to your lips, and back. You nod your head, just slightly.
He kisses you then. Tender. You melt into one another, lips moving quickly as you drink one another in. Kissing each other breathless, your fingers intertwine in his hair and his hand comes up to cup your cheek. Nothing has ever felt so right.
***
June 10th, 2011
Neither of you have ever really believed in fate. It’s hard to - especially in your line of work - to want to interpret the workings of the universe as deliberate. Maybe you’d think a little differently though, if you knew about all the near-misses. All the times you could have met. But fate knew better. She waited until you were ready.
And as you exchange vows, promising each other your forever, you both know you couldn’t possibly deny that this was meant to be.
------
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When life forms a full circle
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What happen when Kim Namjoon, single father of twins, meet his university crush as the teacher of his precious little ones? 
W.C. 12 372 
Pairing Kim Namjoon and female reader
Warning: none! This fic is just cuteness overload (maybe a bit of anxiety but nothing much.
This fic is a collab between me and my dear princess @aspaceformyself @aspaceformyselffics09, without her, it wouldn’t have been that good!  Thanks a lot my princess! I love you <3<3<3<3<3
Dear Mr. Kim,
Here it is! Already the first day of school of your precious little ones!
Let me introduce myself! My name is Y/N and I will have the privilege to be a homeroom teacher for your kids, for their first year at the Blooming dale Kindergarten school.  I am so excited to meet your children and team up with you for their first steps as a ‘big kid’ :) 
In this email, you will find everything you need to know to get ready for the big day.  From the school material to the class behavior code, take the time to read it all with your little ones.
To start this year on a festive note, I along with a couple of other teachers are organising a small event to help the kids get to know each other and also warm up to us teachers. I would thus like to invite you with your children on their first day of class. On the site, many games will be organised along with snacks for everyone. 
Please, join us on monday, (date) 
I can’t wait to meet them and start this year together. 
Y/N Y/L/N
++++++++++++++++
Namjoon blinked at the message once, twice and thrice. 
It was 3 am in the morning and judging by his red eyes and unkempt hair, it’s easy to deduce that Mr. Kim Namjoon barely got any sleep since god knows how many days. He pushed himself up from his chair, waddled down the hallway into the kitchen, fetched himself a bottle of water and plopped in front of his laptop once again. The past few days at work had been crazy for him. And today was much crazier. After a rollercoaster ride of juggling between his work and his kids, he finally got a moment of peace for himself. And just as he thought of finishing up more of his work, his eyes began to droop and found himself passed out on his desk only to be awakened by a notification waiting for him in his email.  
“Ugh,” Namjoon groaned to himself and hurriedly typed out a reply. This is when he saw it again, the message that you sent him 2 weeks ago. He was so drowned out in everything that he almost forgot his precious 5 year olds are starting kindergarten tomorrow. It seems as if it was only yesterday, that he was changing their diapers and bringing them to sleep, comfortably wrapped against his chest in the big rocking chair.  And here he was, reading emails from the school where his babies would be starting classes tomorrow. Time flies so fast. The mere thought of his kids taking their first steps in this world, made Namjoon’s chest flush with emotions to the point his eyes felt watery.
“Dammit Namjoon,” He thought to himself, “This is not the time to get all teary and emotional about your kids, it’s 3 am in the middle of the night!” But nonetheless, he was proud and more than anything he was happy.  Overwhelmed, he did the first thing that came to his mind and grabbed his cell phone resting on the desk.
“You better tell me you’re dying, it’s 3 am!” Jin’s voice slurred through the other end, not impressed. But on the other hand he answered before it even rang twice, which means, he guessed Namjoon would be calling him at his wits end and he was ready to answer. Namjoon smiled sheepishly to himself. It was such a Jin kinda gesture. 
“Wait, don't say anything, you’re overwhelmed because tomorrow it’s the twins first day of school ?” Jin asked before Namjoon could get any words out.
“How did you know, hyung?”
“Namjoon - ah you’re forgetting we enrolled our children together.”
“Right” Namjoon snorted. 
“So, on a scale of 1- 10 how anxious are we?”
“Am I that obvious hyung?”
 “Kim Namjoon, I live 10 minutes away from you and I can hear your thoughts overflowing all the way here.”
“Right.”
“So?” Jin asked, “Gonna spill or do I have to make you spill?”
“That won’t be necessary hyung”, Namjoon laughed, “I’m gonna spill.”
Namjoon sucked in a deep breath before he dived in.
“The thing is, I know how they’re excited to start school. I know they are ready and will be doing just fine. But, at the same time, I don’t want them to be hurt or sad and I’m afraid I won’t be around them to be able to comfort them. What if they are mocked? What if they hurt themselves? I won’t be there to help and worse I won’t know about it… I know their teacher will certainly be there for them, but she’s not me, you know. She’ll have so many kids to take care of… Hyung… Just the thought of them being away from me and hurt makes me so sad and scared. I see their excitement and I want to be excited too but I’m just scared. They are so small. They are my precious babies… Also, Namu needs time before he’s comfortable around new people, it’s not so easy for him to adapt to new situations”
Jin was quiet for a while and Namjoon worried the line disconnected before he spoke again.
“Namjoon - ah trust me when I say this. I feel you. I’m shit scared my little DaMi might get hurt too. But you know what,” Jin added in a tone softer than before, “I think they are ready. We should trust them and ourselves.”
“Is this your gut talking to you?”
“I don’t know,  could be,” Jin chuckled, then sighed, “it’s okay to be scared Namjoon - ah. Nothing wrong with that.”
“Are you scared too, hyung?” 
“Yah! Who do you think I am?” Jin’s voice boomed through the phone, “I’m Kim SeokJin, I’m never scared of anything.”
“Then why are you up so late hyung?”
“You know...Uhhh, I’m prepping! I’m prepping Dami’s lunch box for tomorrow!”
“Hyung, the school is arranging lunch, it’s a school party, the first day celebration.”
“Then I’m preparing her clothes for tomorrow!”
Namjoon laughed, “Whatever you say, hyung”.
“Okay, Namjoon, I need to go. I have so much to do before the morning arrives. But before that, how are you feeling now?”
“Hyung, before that hold on, who signed the email? Who’s Dami’s teacher?”
“I don’t remember, wait, I’ll check”.  Scrolling his phone, he found the information.
‘Her name is Y/n”
‘NO WAY! Dami will be in the same class as the twins. How cool is that?”
“That’s so nice! They will all be able to count on each other. I’m so grateful, Dami won’t feel alone in the big class”
“Oooh, I thought you were not scared of anything…”
“I… I’m not”
“Yeah, sure.” Namjoon giggled, “ See you tomorrow, hyung. And for the record, I feel much better. I hope you do too.”
“I was always cool with it, you know. See you tomorrow Joon-ah. Give them a kiss from uncle Jin when they wake up. We’ll meet there”.
“Will do. Hyung… Last question… do you think their teacher will love them as much as we do?”
“She cannot love them as much as we do Namjoon, no one can. As a parent, the love we have for our little ones cannot be compared. But I’m sure that if she decided to be a teacher, it’s because she loves kids in general and therefore, we have no choice but to trust the fact that they will be treated with much care. But you know, our kids are lovable, they will be the teacher’s favorite!”
“Damn, you’re right! Thanks Hyung. I feel much better now”.
“Anytime Joon, preferably during business hours” Jin teased.
“As you were sleeping”
“Yeah, yeah! See you Joon-ah”.
_____________
Morning came way too fast for Namjoon’s liking. He barely had closed his eyes after he spoke with Jin, his fellow ‘Single dad club’ friend as they like calling themselves before he was awakened by two noisy kids racing up to his bed and jumping on him. 
“Appa! Namu will have a pancake!” Little Namu straddled Namjoon’s chest while his twin sister Nam Young followed behind equally enthusiastic, “And Nam Young will have a sandwich and omelette!”
Namjoon groaned in his sleep, shaken awake by the sudden intrusion. Slowly squinting his eyes open he glanced at the clock next to him. 6:25 am it read. Lazily scooping both his kids in his arms, Namjoon sat up. 
“Morning little monsters,” Namjoon greeted them fondly, kissing their faces and holding them close to his chest. 
“Dad! Leave us alone!” The twins giggled, “We’re not babies anymore! Don’t hold us like babies!”
“Noooo!” Namjoon whined holding them closer than before, “You’ll always be my babies! Don’t even try to make me say otherwise! Even on your wedding day, you’ll be my babies. You better get used to it right now”.
“Please appa, don’t call us like that at school”
Sniffing the air, a sweet smell tickled Namjoon’s nose. And before he could wonder where the smell came from, another pair of tiny footsteps echoed in the room and then another little girl jumped Namjoon. 
“Uncle Namjoon!” She squealed, throwing her arms around him. Namjoon struggled to hold her tight in addition to his kids already in his arms. 
“DaMi!” Namjoon’s face stretched into a smile, “When did you get here princess ?? Where’s your appa?”
“Kitchen!!!” The children sang all at once, “He’s making us yummy food! Let’s go! Let’s go!”
“You guys need to get down though”
“Appa nooooo, hold us!” Nam Young pouted followed by Namu and DaMi joining in on her.
“Fine, aye aye captain,” Namjoon sighed. Seriously, he’s way too whipped for the kids to say no. Scooping the kids in his arms with the three of them hanging on to him, Namjoon rose from the bed and made his way through the hallway, into the kitchen. 
When he entered, he was greeted by the sight of Jin behind the oven skilfully taking care of a frightening amount of poelons and cauldrons at the same time. How he never burned anything always remains a mystery for Namjoon.
“What a nice surprise!” Namjoon exclaimed, “When did you guys get here by the way?” 
“Don’t mention it! I was not lying when I told you I was prepping their lunches last night. Besides, it kept me away from overthinking,” Jin’s half admitting his anxiety was somehow touching for Namjoon who came beside his friend and put a hand on his shoulder. Both were ‘losing’ their babies this morning and the thought of it made their heart twist.
“We got here at 6 am!” Dami exclaimed from where she was perched on Namjoon’s shoulder.
“Aaaaw, did my little Dami wake up that early?” Namjoon cooed at her, then turned to Jin,“Well, it’s a wonderful surprise. Thanks a lot hyung.”
“How many times have I told you that we would be the perfect couple, Kim Namjoon? I was not lying! You would have these breakfasts each morning” Jin teased his friend. 
“I might consider the offer,” Joon joked back.
The children jumped down from Namjoon’s embrace and began to set the table in a chaotic but efficient manner. As efficient as the kids can get. In no time, the cutlery was set, and all gathered together before a delicious breakfast prepared by Jin.
No sooner did they finish their breakfast, the kids raced past Namjoon and Jin to gather their belongings as the adults cleared the table and cleaned up everything. Soon, everything was in order and Namjoon and Jin found themselves all packed, in their respective cars ready to drive to school all prepared to welcome their kids to take their first steps as the big kids. 
Concentrated on the road, Namjoon didn’t pay attention to the kids for a couple of minutes. Lowering the music, he realised that the atmosphere suddenly changed in the car. He turned his attention to what was happening in the back seat while still driving.
“... you’ll see Namu, we’ll have fun. Plus, we’re in the same class as DaMi. We’ll be together…”
“I want to stay home with appa… he’ll be alone if we both go to school. I’ll miss appa too”
Namu tears went down on his round cheeks as Joon could see and it broke his heart into tiny pieces.
“What’s going on son?”
“I don’t want to go to school appa. I want to stay home with you. I don’t want to go…”
“Aaaaw… Namu, you forgot that for today I will stay with you guys. We’ll meet your teacher and the other kids together. I can’t wait to see your class. Meet your teacher. Play with the other kids. We’ll have fun, you’ll see. Plus, tomorrow, you’ll have only half a day to let you have the time to adapt. In no time, you’ll get used to it”
“I don’t want to meet them… I don’t want to meet Miss Y/n and the other kids. I want to stay home with you”.
“Namu is just a big baby,” Nam Young playfully teased her twin brother while wiping his tears at the same time.
“Nam Young, don’t tease him. He has the right to feel anxious. It’s normal to be when we are facing a new situation”
“I’m just teasing him appa, I wanted to make him smile”.
“You didn’t make me smile, you made me cry” Namu pouted
“I’m sorry Namu,” Nam Young said as she wrapped her brother in a hug, “… please don’t cry”. 
 “Aaaaaw…” Namjoon’s heart was threatening to explode with warmth in his chest. His kids were so different. Their personality was always the opposite. While Namu was more reserved, anxious and introverted, NamYoung was a child that goes to meet everyone and adapt easily to every situation. This morning was not different. If he was being honest, Namjoon was more scared for his son’s adaptation than for his daughter’s. But looking at the duo now, he feels a little assured that Nam Young will be there for her brother if needed. She may not know how to help him yet, but she tries and it makes Namjoon proud.
“We’ve arrived kids… Jin is already parked. Let’s go”.
Namu hesitated to untie his belt. It’s his sister that did it for him and as soon as Namjoon opened the car door, the little one jumped in his father’s arms. It’s with Namu sitting on his forearm with his little arms wrapped around his neck and his face buried into his neck, and Nam Young proudly walking by his side (but still needed to hold his hand) that Namjoon joined Jin. The latter helped his friend to carry their belongings and the quinquet walked their way into the school. 
As they walked towards the building, Namu’s grip tightened against his father’s neck.
“It’s gonna be okay Namu,” Namjoon reassured his son with a small pat on his back, “ Appa is not going anywhere. I’ll stay with you today, remember?”
Namu nodded but didn’t seem to be convinced. The closer they went to the school, the more tense he felt his son against his chest. And by the time they reached the gymnasium, where the event was taking place, Namu burst into full blown tears. 
“I want to go home!” He insisted between tears, “Bring me home appa! Please.”
Watching his son melt down into tears broke Namjoon’s heart. The group stopped before they could enter the venue and Jin led them to a quiet corner where they hoped to help Namu feel at ease. In the middle of the crisis, Namjoon heard your light footsteps coming their way.
“Oooh, what do we have here?” A soft and cheerful voice asked, “I was waiting for you guys, to complete my class” you said.
Too engulfed by his son and too anxious to notice anything, Namjoon merely looked above his shoulder and turned his attention back to his son when his cries intensified.  At the side, he noticed Jin approach you, but didn’t heard the conversation you had together. It’s only when his daughter said “see you later Namu, come and join us when you feel better” did he realise that something was going on.
“Would you come with me, Mr Kim?” he felt your hand on his forearm, trying to catch his attention. “I think it will be less stressful for Namu to be in a quieter place for now. Come on” 
“Nam Young…” Namjoon enquired, now turning towards the source of the voice. It was a young woman probably in her mid twenties. She had a bright and an understanding expression on her face as she spoke to Namjoon. 
“Your daughter is okay, she left to meet the other kids with Mr Kim,” you said, “she even said bye to you and her brother. Come with me, please”.
Namjoon nodded and the duo followed you in a daze. You entered a light and colorful classroom filled with small tables and tiny chairs. There was a rocking chair in the middle of the class, 15 cushions on the floor. Books everywhere. 
“Namu… can you look at me please?” you asked the little kid. He lifted his eyes and with a tiny sob, he looked at his teacher.
“Annyeong Namu. I’m Y/n. I’m so glad that you are here, I needed help this morning because I didn’t have the time to prepare everything” you winked at Namjoon. “I will be your teacher this year and this is our classroom”
No answer from the little boy. Sensing that Namjoon wanted to interfere, you made a sign to signify that you were in control. You needed to bond with the little boy, you know you will have him sooner or later.
“Namu, I worked all week to prepare this class for you guys. But I am not sure if it will be perfect. Would you like to help me with something?” 
You had to think fast. You wanted to occupy the little boy so he would forget he was sad. Very often, the tactic worked in the past.
“No, I want to stay with Appa,” He sniffed.
Namu didn’t agree, but at least he answered you so that was a good beginning.
“But your appa will help me also, we will use him, of course” You winked knowingly at Namjoon. 
Looking around the class, Namu looked suspiciously at his teacher.
“I think it’s pretty enough as it is,” he told you with a skeptical face.
With a tinkle of a laugh, you turned to face Namu snuggled up in Namjoon’s arms. This was probably when Namjoon realised there was something nostalgic about the woman in front of him. Something he couldn’t quite place or point a finger at. But, at the same time, he couldn’t quite shrug the feeling of the warmth, the familiarity that your laughter made him feel. 
“Aaaaw, thanks a lot Namu!” You cheerfully smiled,  “You think that our classroom is pretty! I worked so hard to prepare it all, you have no idea how it looked like, before I came in. But I didn’t lie to you though, I need your fathers’ arms. Can you get down and let him help me with the boxes you see there?”
You pointed a finger at some boxes piled up in a corner of the class. “See this? I would like your appa to give me the box that is in the middle. They’re too heavy for me. Why don’t you come with me, shall we discover what’s inside together”?
Curious, the little boy looked at his father for his authorization. Namjoon gave him a reassuring smile and told his son “Shall we help miss Y/n Namu? Come on,” and he walked with his son still in his arms towards the boxes. When he arrived, he gently put him down, the little arm of Namu lightly sliding along Namjoon’s neck. Curious, the little one looked at his father taking the first box, putting it on the floor and going that way until you said “Yes, this one. Please bring that box on the table”.
Namjoon smiled at your answer. There was not a single box that was heavy enough for you not to be able to carry them. He found that you were clever as he could see the strategy you used there. 
“Here you go Miss Y/n! The box was so heavy, no wonder why you needed me with it” he smiled.
“Thanks Mr. Kim. Namu, wanna come and discover what’s inside with me?” 
Curious, he ran towards the table, the excitement slowly replacing his anxiety.
“One, two, three… Tadam!!!” you exclaimed as you placed your hands on top of the box and opened it together with the little boy. Namu's smile grew big. 
“Woah! This is figurines! I didn’t know I could play at school! I thought I was only here to be serious all the time!”
This time, you laughed for real, a big belly laughter that made Namjoon doubt again for a moment. Somewhere inside his head, he feels like he knows this sound, this person. But at the sametime he’s not so sure if he does. There’s a part of him that wants to ask and put an end to his curiosity but at the sametime, there’s another part of him that doesn’t want to make a fool of himself if he got it wrong. Then again, it wouldn’t be such a surprise if you turned out to be someone he knew. The world is small after all.  Scratching his head, he observed you while you talked to his son. He wished his mind was working at full capacity right now but unfortunately, it was not the case at all. The anxiety caused by the big event today paired with the lack of sleep of the last weeks barely left him a working neurone. One thing was certain though, this woman in front of him loves kids and has the twist with them. You seemed to be a loving and caring person, empathetic enough to take time to create a bond with an anxious little one. Namu will be at ease in no time with you, he already seems to be. It was a relief. 
“You thought we would never play?” You huffed, clearly surprised, “What’s this idea? Namu, you know what? With me, we will always play. We will use games to learn. And when we are tired of learning, we’ll play just for fun! But, but, but, you will learn so many things! You won’t even realise and you will learn. We’ll also have more serious moments of course. Tell me, do you have those figurines at home?”
“I have some, but we couldn’t buy all of them, they were not available anymore”.
“Ooooh!” you blinked at Namjoon “I have my ways to collect toys. Wanna place the figurines on the shelf you see over there? I don’t  know the best way to put them. Should I sit them? Should I group them? See? I really need your help!” you said, turning to Namu. 
“YES! Let me do it!” Namu lifted the box and dragged it in front of the shelfs, not realising the box was actually really light. “Shall I use the top or middle or lower shelf?”
“This is why I need you Namu, I don’t know what will please the kids. Do as you want, we’ll bring more boxes, I have more figurines”
“Yeah” the boy exclaimed happily, his eyes shining like glitter. 
Turning to Namjoon, you murmured lower enough so Namu won’t hear you.
“Here we go Mr. Kim. I thought it was a good idea for him to be in his little bubble before he meets the other kids. At least, now, he will be more comfortable with his environment, it’s less overwhelming for him. I know, I was the exact same at his age” you told him. He softly gazed at his child trying to arrange the figurines as he pleased by the shelves. “When he’s ready, we’ll go to the gym where the other kids are. Want me to go check on Nam Young while you watch over him?”
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“Of course not, wait”.
A short minute later, you came in and sat by Namjoon’s side as he was watching over his son with proud eyes.
“She and DaMi are already entertaining the crowd!” you smiled at Namjoon “Mr Kim is with them both, he said to take your time with Namu. So, no worry. We have a little time before I need to go there”.
“Thank you, Miss Y/n,” Namjoon sighed, relief clearly flooding through his mind and his body. His shoulders finally slouched and he let his body relax in the chair he sat in. 
“Tough morning?” You asked, judging by the demeanor of the man in front of you. 
Namjoon nodded, then smiled at you, “It was. It was the first time I’m going to part with my kids for a relatively long time. I’m excited for them and proud of them. But at the same time, seeing Namu so anxious broke my heart. He’s a sensitive kid, quiet and reserved. But bright and kind at the same time.”
“I can understand Mr. Kim,” You reassured him, “Maybe not understand all the nuances of being a parent but my students are like my little babies too. Please, don’t tell them I called them babies” you laughed.
“Oh lord,” Namjoon mixed in with the laughter, “I called them that this morning and they didn’t like it.”
“I can tell,” You giggled, “Anyway Mr. Kim, rest assured, your little ones are safe with me. I will always care for them and make sure they’re surrounded by a healthy and loving atmosphere while they’re at school.”
There wasn’t anything more Namjoon could ask for. It seemed that you knew how to create a bond with kids too, judging by how Namu was now playing with the figurines as he placed them. He was certainly more at ease.  And as it looked like you were about to get up and go towards Namu, Namjoon finally couldn’t help but ask what was on his mind the whole time. 
“Miss Y/N,” he called out to you, as he scratched his head for the nth time that day, “I apologise if this may sound weird or come across as rather creepy. But, have we met somewhere before??”
“Finally!!” You exclaimed to which Namjoon appeared startled, “ Of course we met before! I was waiting for you to recognise me!”
“...”
“It’s me Y/N from Seoul University”, You continued, “ We met from time to time during our university days”.
Namjoon still looked confused.
“Wait, remember HyunNa? She was a common friend of ours. Sometimes we met with a bunch of other people. I always loved talking with you, I have to say. You were so brilliant and kind compared to her other friends. Maybe you left a better impression than I did” you said but you didn’t seem mad at all. In fact you were smiling brightly. 
“Oh wait!” It finally dawned on Namjoon, “You’re that Y/N?!”
“Yes! Have I changed that much?” You giggled, “You finally recognised me!”
“Sorry,” Namjoon laughed, “I do remember you but damn, you changed a lot! We met often at the parties. Although neither of us are the kind to party.”
“I think this is why we found ourselves together sitting outside sipping at our drinks and reflecting on the whole wide world, while the other danced and got wasted! ”
 “And those midnight ice cream trips with our friends!”
“Yep! Ice cream was the best! That was my kind of activity”
“Gosh, those days seem so far away. Anyway, I didn't think I would meet you like this after years. It’s a pleasant surprise though.”
“I’m glad too, to be honest. Plus, I’m gonna be the one who takes care of your twins. What a faith!” You said, smiling fondly at Namu.
“They were good times,” Namjoon said, a soft smile adoring his lips.
“It certainly was,” You said, nostalgically, “I wonder how the others are doing right now.”
Once Namu felt at ease with his surroundings and after a while of catching up, Namjoon and you decided that it’s time to regroup with the others at the gymnasium. By the time the three of you entered the gym where the main festivities were held, the school party with the other kids had already started. Once you made your way towards the other teachers, Namjoon joined in with Jin and the other parents. 
“A moment of attention please,” the physical education teacher said. It was Junkook, your colleague. “It’s time for everybody to meet with your group. Would you please group in front of your teachers please, parents follow your kids. We’ll take your presence and we’ll have a short time to get to know each other before the games start. Let’s go meet your teachers guys”.
Jungkook came to you as soon as his speech was done. You had missed the welcome speech and he wanted to tell you how it went. 
“Is the little one okay, noona?” He asked, concerned.
“Yes, he was just a little shy,” You said and then added, “You took good care of my class while I was away, thanks Kookie.” 
“I did, of course. And they can’t wait to meet you, they didn’t believe me when I told them I was miss Y/N,” He pouted.
“Aaaaaw! You said that? Thank you so much! You’re the best!”
“My pleasure. Luckily, you have a bunch of single fathers in your class,” Jungkook smirked, “for the single lady you are, you’ll have plenty of choices. If needed, I may help you all year long with this group, they are all pretty cute and I may get lucky with one of the dad’s myself,” He shrugged.
“Jesus Kook! Calm your hormones” you laughed. “I’ll talk to you later” you smiled at him. Ever Since he joined your school, he was the most popular among kids. Funny, dynamic and respected by everybody. You even found in him a little brother that you never had.
“Okay guys, I’m sure you all met Jungkook?  He will be the gymnastic teacher this year. You can call him Kookie.”
Kids squealed and applauded, already under his charm. 
“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you before but here I am now. And I’m so glad to meet you.  Now, before you arrive, I have memorised all your names and I would like to put a face on your names. Who do we have here?” 
In addition to Kim Namu, Nam Young and Kim Dami, Namjoon and Jin’s kids respectively, there were Min Jae Hyun and Min Hyun Seok, two bright kids of a young couple, Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok. Then there was Park A-Reum, daughter of a really charming man Park Jimin, whose beauty turned the heads of everyone in the gymnasium from the teachers to the staff and the helpers.  There was Kim Sang Jung, whose energy was more chaotic than an atom bomb. He came with his equally chaotic uncle, Kim Taehyung. There was also a cute but extremely turbulent little girl named Kwak Bo Young whose parents didn’t bother to come for her first day of school, she came in class with her angelic cousin named Lee Min Ji.  Both of them were not accompanied and they soon found themselves under Jimin and Taehyung‘s  protective wings.  These were the kids mainly under your small class.  
“Woah! What a wonderful group I have this year! I’m sure we’ll have so much fun together!” you told them. “Before we start the games, your gym teacher, Kookie and I have arranged some snacks, so be sure to try them and enjoy yourselves. Parents too, can eat as much as you want”
Namjoon along with Jin looked around the gymnasium, taking in the whole atmosphere. Their kids have long ago ran towards the snacks leaving the two behind.
“This place is not bad,” Namjoon mused to himself, “I was pretty anxious yesterday. But somehow after this morning and right now, I feel at ease.”
“I know what you mean,” Jin added, as he signed Namjoon to look in front of them, “I don’t think we have to worry about the kids anymore.”
Sure enough to Namjoon’s amusement and happiness, both their kids seemed to have made friends with the others in their group. It was probably then, that he caught your attention and briefly sent you a smile along with a small wave.
“Ah I see,” Jin mused, smiling to himself.
“See what?” Namjoon asked.
“You know, the teacher,” He shrugged, “I saw that.”
“Saw what hyung??” Namjoon asked, still oblivious.
“I noticed a certain someone who seems all smiley and bubbly around the teacher,” Jin remarked, an amused expression masking his face.
“What do you mean, hyung? Bubbly?  I just waved to her,” Namjoon said, exasperated. And when Jin didn’t budge, he added, “Okay, fine, I knew her from college. We weren't exactly close, but hung out with the same group of friends”.
“And?”
“And what?”
“And?”
“Okay fine! I probably had a tiny bit of a crush on her back then!”
At this Jin’s smile grew wider and wider.
“No no no, I know what you’re thinking and don’t you go there Hyung!” Namjoon exclaimed, “It was long ago and now’s a totally different situation.”
Jin continued to smile and looked like he wasn’t convinced but didn’t say anything more. Namjoon just continued being exasperated by his friend. 
At the same time, on the other side of the Gymnasium, Jungkook approached you. 
“So… what about you and Mr Kim?” He asked you as soon as you were both out of reach of the children.
“There are 3 Mr Kim in my class. You’ll have to be more precise”
“The one with the hot thighs” He smirked.
“What about Namjoon- ah?” You asked, not even realising what you just said.
“DAAAAH!” he laughed, pointing at you. “You know exactly who I’m talking about, how’s that”
“Oooh…. Well… Why do you even ask about him, there is nothing about him” you shyly answered. 
“3 years now, I’ve known you for 3 years and I have never seen you blush when a parent waved at you”.
“I didn’t blush” you said, feeling your cheeks with the back of your hand. “We knew each other back then. There is nothing about him or anything. Leave me alone Kookie” you pouted. 
“She’s shy, how charming” Kookie said as he laid a hand on your shoulder “I think that your red cheeks speak for themselves. Oooh, wait” and he left as fast as he arrived, little A-Reum coming his way with her appa and little Min Ji.
Looking at Kook squatting down to be at the same level as A - Reum, you smiled to yourself as you watched Kook put a bandaid on the finger of the little boy.
Soon, the games began and you didn’t have much time to think about Kim Namjoon anymore, the kids taking all your attention. They were all charming but certainly will keep you busy this year. They involved themselves in the activities with every inch of enthusiasm and energy that was hidden in their little bodies. It was a fun filled day both for you, the parents and their children. And just like that, time flew and in the blink of an eye, the day came to an end. The kids, and even Namu who was so hesitant, were disappointed to go home, but you assured them that they will be back tomorrow and it’s going to be filled with fun like today was. With hopes of looking forward to the next day, and the year ahead, the kids and their parents bid you a good bye. 
****************************
“Are you sure about it hyung?”
“Oh course I’m sure,” Jin insisted on the other end of the phone, “I promised Dami I’ll bring the twins with us. She wanted it, you don’t want to disappoint my daughter, do you?”
Namjoon chuckled.
“I certainly don’t want to make my little princess sad,” He sighed, “Okay then… Are you sure you can handle the three?”
“YAH Kim Namjoon! Who do you think I am?” Jin remarked faking a playful offence, “The day is already planned and you approved all the activities we prepared. Just take that day for yourself and relax. I don’t know how long it’s been since you had a day without responsibilities. Take that time my friend, and enjoy it. You need to recharge your batteries and the kids are really happy about it all. It’s a win win situation.” Jin reassured his friend. “No worry, I know where to reach you in case anything happens”
“Yes, please. I will keep my phone with me. Call me if anything happens. Anything, okay?”
“Yes Namjoon heard you loud and clear, now stop worrying and have fun. Trust your hyung on this one, I got your back.”
Namjoon felt reassured and was even grateful for Jin’s idea. This is when he heard him laugh and say.
“Maybe you can even call the cute teacher and have some good quality time together with her,” He smirked, “I told you many times, she blushed looking at you thrice that day”
“Hyung!” Namjoon exclaimed, “She did not! And that’s all in your imagination!”
“It’s not.”
“It is.”
“Nope. No sir.”
“Yes it is.”
“Fine hyung, whatever lets you sleep at night,” Namjoon signed exasperated knowing his friend won’t relent to him.
Jin didn’t say anything but his laughter was enough to tell Namjoon that he was clearly enjoying this teasing. Ever since he learned of Namjoon’s little university crush on the teacher of their kids, Jin made it a point to tease him relentlessly over it every chance he has got. Now, Namjoon just learned to let Jin have his moment. 
Soon after this, Jin along with Dami, dropped by to collect both the twins. Namjoon bounced around the house double checking everything just to see if the kids had everything they needed. Honestly, everything was already prepared but at the last moment, he felt hesitant. Thankfully, Jin reassured him.  He now loaded all their belongings into Jin’s car with his help, hugged his little ones one last time, breathing in their smell, and made sure they’re properly seated in the car.
“Uncle Jooooooon” Dami happily called him “Can I have my kiss goodbye too?”
“Sure thing, my little princess” He opened the car door he had just closed and hugged her little frame, careful not to crash anyone with his weight.  “Have a good day Dami.”
“You too uncle.”
 And then with a final goodbye from both Jin and the kids, the car zoomed off into the distance.
It’s been quite a while since Namjoon got time for himself. Whether it was to just walk around aimlessly or watch a movie by himself or anything of that sort. In addition to the time, the weather also seemed to work in his favour. It was a clear day, with the blue of the sky peering over the millions that walked the planet. There were hardly any clouds but it also wasn’t very sunny or hot. Just the perfect weather for a stroll along the bed of the Han river. 
Namjoon sighed, leaning into the touch of the breeze that passed him by. It’s been five long years since there was any moment of peace. Ever since the day his twins were born, everyday was a jumble of rollercoaster rides for him. Not that they were bad. He certainly did have days where he was stressed, where he thought he was going to snap from the pressure of it all. But most of all, the rollercoaster ride was still welcome. His kids mean everything to him and without them, he probably couldn’t have gotten to where he is now. The hours he spent caring for them all alone, watching them grow and bloom into beautiful human beings were certainly worth all the fatigue that had accumulated over time. After all, he will always have time to rest later.
And as he sat there lost in his thoughts, he soon noticed a familiar figure sitting by a tree and reading a book. Upon closer inspection, Namjoon realises that it was you, his longtime friend and a teacher for his kids. You didn’t notice him, you were too engrossed in your book, your brows furrowed from the seriousness of what was in the story, your mouth upturned into a pout. It brought a little smile on Namjoon’s face, because it was something he was used to seeing back when you both were in university. From the little bits he knows of you from here and there, and of the times you hung around, books were a constant. Never in his life, he thought he would meet you again or feel this familiarity once again. 
As he continued to notice you and take in your presence, a soft breeze blew by you, whipping your hair onto your face. It didn’t seem like it bothered you though as you continued reading despite it. And when it happened for a second time, it was when you finally tucked your hair behind your ear and looked up to meet Namjoon’s gaze. 
“Namjoon - ah” you murmured, more for yourself. You were not quite sure if he was really in front of you, still engulfed in the emotional part of the story you just read. It was when you heard his deep velveteen voice that you knew it was not your imagination. 
“What a nice surprise” he softly giggled before he walked towards you “It’s nice to see you haven't changed at all after all these years. It’s nice to see you like that, like before”.
This was when he noticed what Jin was teasing him with for weeks now, the pink on your cheeks that he’s quite sure you never had in your university years. More so, around him.
“Oooh! You mean, reading all alone in my little corner?” You chuckled, “Yep! This is still how I spend my off days.  My friends wanted to go for a bicycle ride but after being surrounded by people all week, I needed some quiet time”.
“Haha, I know what you mean, I’ll leave you then” Namjoon shyly said.
“No! I didn’t mean it like that. I’m actually happy to see you, come sit with me” you pat the place close to you. 
“You sure?”
“Yep! Of course”
With a blinding smile, he walked towards you and sat close by. 
“By the way, where are my babies?” you asked him with a concerned smile.
“Oooh, out with Jin hyung and Dami. It’s the first time I’m on my own. They will even sleep there, if I don’t change my mind and join them or kidnap them. Because they were so happy about their day, it would be a kidnapping” he laughed. “They have planned to sleep in a homemade tent on the terrace of Jin hyung’s building, I mean…. Quite an event, right?”
“Aaaaw! This is so cute!” You exclaimed, “Don’t you dare bother them” you teased. 
“Yeah, we’ll see if I can stand it tonight,” Namjoon sighed as he gazed towards the sky.
“And how is Mr. Namjoon spending his day so far?” You asked playfully, wiggling your eyebrows.
“To be honest, they just left and I was just wandering around. I feel useless,” he chuckled, “I don’t know what to do.”
“Aaaaw! Single dad, not being used to being by himself” You cooed, “I’m glad that you have this day though. It’s good for you”
“You don’t have kids right?” 
“Nope, it’s still impossible for a single woman to procreate by herself” you laughed, “Unless it happens by a miracle.”
Namjoon snorted at that. Strangely happy for a reason he can’t fathom. But then he also wondered, 
“How do you spend your free time? Then again, how come you’re single?” he asked, almost surprised.
Looking up at him through your eyelashes, you wondered what he meant for a moment. 
“This is a question I ask myself too, Namjoon -ah,” you broke into a laughter, “Where is my prince charming, I wonder!” 
“Aaaaw!” he smiled at your cuteness.
 “Well, to answer your question, I spent my free time with whatever I want to do. I don’t ask myself how to spend my time, I just do what I want. Then again, it’s easy for me since I have no children yet. This is what you should do today. What do you, Kim Namjoon, want to do today?”
“What if I say, I want to go have ice cream with an old friend like the old times??” Namjoon asked, “Will she agree to it?”
 “This is a very good idea. You go ahead, call her” you playfully winked at him but at the same time, you were already closing your book with the same page holder you used back then, Namjoon noticed.
“I mean you, pabo!” Namjoon whined, “I don’t think I have many people I know around here or consider anyone else to be an old friend.”
“I know!” You exclaimed happily, “But wanted to tease. Oopsie.”
“Let’s get going then shall we??” He said, smiling as he stood up and reached a hand to help you. His hand was big and his grip soft but strong. You felt happy that the connection with him didn’t seem to be lost after so many times apart. 
“You won’t have that horrible flavor again, right?” Namjoon asked you with a pout.
“You remember what I used to eat?” you asked him, surprised.
“How can I forget, it’s kind of noticeable”
You laughed, delighted that he remembers, for some reason.
“Let’s see if my tastes have evolved enough to meet yours” you answered. Ice cream flavor was always a subject of playful bickering between the two of you. Never on the same page when it comes to choosing it. 
As you walked along a little path along the river with Namjoon on your left, you looked up at him to meet his soft smile. When did he become so handsome? He was always a beautiful person inside and out but somehow along the way, as he aged, he became even more beautiful. How come you never noticed it back then? And how was this something you noticed after all these years? 
“Appa doesn’t have a lover” you remembered Namu telling you and Kookie, last week “he said his priority was me and Nam Young but I would like to have a mother” the little boy had pouted cutely.
“You have a really good appa, Namu” Kookie had answered “he’ll meet the good person for him and for you guys one day. But the fact that he’s taking his time to do so is really good”.
The class had started and you had to leave the subject like that but it kept running in your thoughts today. 
“Namjoon- ah” 
“Hmmmm” he said as he looked down on you, his dimples shyly flashing on his cheeks as he smiled.
“It will be the only thing I’ll say about your kids because today, I’m not their teacher, I’m your old friend. But I found it amazing how a single parent could be able to raise such beautiful human beings. Namu and Nam Young are so lovely and brilliant. They learned to care for one another but they also care for the entire class, including me.  It’s easy to say that they received a lot of loving attention and that they were in a stimulating environment. I love them so much. If you ever doubted, I want to tell you that you did a good job at parenting them. I… I’m impressed”
“Oooooh” he blushed “Thanks Y/n, I mean, it was not always easy but they were my number one priority all the time and I certainly cared a lot for them.”
“You prioritise your kids over your own needs, I mean, it’s remarkable. I found it really amazing”.
“Thanks Y/n… for me it was the only thing to do”.
“It would have been the same for me, too, you know” You said as you gazed into his eyes, then shrugged, “But it’s not that obvious for everyone else I guess. I met a lot of egoistic parents in my young career, unfortunately”
Namjon’s eyes were captivating. Again, something else that you never noticed before. Maybe there were times you did notice that. Some moments in passing when you both were in university. Or some nights when you were drunk and stared a little too longer into his eyes. But you never gave it much thought back then. In fact you can count the number of times you felt something but shrugged it off immediately, thinking it wasn’t a big deal or blaming it on the alcohol. But why tho? Was it because you were already seeing someone? Was it because it felt wrong? Was it the guilt? In hindsight, It was probably the guilt that made you focus on something else. But now, as you stared into his eyes, you can feel the familiar warmth stir in your chest. A kind of warmth you’ve never felt for anyone in years after you last broke up with your ex. 
“Anyway,” You abruptly turned your head to face forward. Somewhere at the corner of your head, you can feel the blush creep up your cheeks and for some reason you felt embarrassed that Namjoon might notice that, ”I think I’ll have chocolate ice cream today. I don’t feel like ‘fighting’ with you.” 
Namjoon busted a laugh at that, he has a really pretty smile, “You know what,” He said, “Have whatever you like, I’m not going to judge you on that today. I just like teasing you.”
“Aaaah, Kim Namjoon! You’re such a meanie!” you pouted, then chuckled, “It’s good, I.. It’s good”.
What’s happening to you? What’s this good feeling of meeting up with an old friend and connecting just perfectly again. At the same time, what’s this bubbly, sparkling sensation tickling inside? What was that? Why so suddenly?
“Look at that,” Namjoon pointed as he came to an abrupt halt. You were so lost in the chaos of your emotions and bubbling feelings that you didn’t notice when Namjoon stopped, didn’t hear him talk to you or point at something. With your mind in a haze, you walked right into him. The tall and broad shoulders, perfect him.  It was so sudden, that the collision surprised you and in an effort to steady yourself, you tried to find the right footing. But that only led you to further losing your balance and before you could blink, you found yourself falling face first onto the ground. You tightly closed your eyes, bracing yourself for the impact.
But before, you could even realise what was happening, a strong arm quickly snaked around your waist and lifted you up from falling. You don’t know how he managed to do that but you found yourself facing Namjoon, securely held in between his arms, his hands away from you in a respectful manner. As you looked up at him, your eyes met his. His perfectly shaped, deep coffee brown eyes that stared right into your soul. They were so tender and soft, that you could feel yourself sucked right into his gaze. In this moment, you didn’t mind the ‘respectful’ manners and with the excuse of holding yourself still, you placed your hands flat on his chest. His heart was beating way faster than the calm that was emanating from his firm stillness on the outside.
“Namjoon- ah” you smiled at yourself, feeling a sting of warmth in your heart, “Why is your heart beating so fast? Were you so scared that I might have fallen down?” 
At this very moment, you couldn’t imagine that he could have been feeling the same warmth at your contact. It was so sudden for you, so inexplicable. Namjoon didn’t answer, he just stared at you. He too was so lost in the moment that he didn’t realise the kind of hold he had over you, nor did he realise the position you were in. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine that he would get such a close look at your face. And when you spoke, things suddenly fell in place. His eyes went wide as the realisation kicked in. His face turned a deep shade of red as he finally let you go. 
“I...I’m sorry,” He smiled sheepishly, “I didn’t think.”
“What are you sorry for?” This confused you further. But decided not to dwell on it too much, “You saved me from face planting myself on the floor, thank you,” You laughed.
If saying that Namjoon was starstruck was an understatement, saying that he was spellbound would be too underrated.  You have an enthralling laugh. Namjoon remembered the first time he heard it back in the university, he thought it had a distinct sound to it. Like the distant chime of a bell, like birds chirping in spring. And even now if you ask him, he would say it still had the same ring to it. Had the same effect on him. If he was being completely honest with himself, he would admit right here and right now that this sound you make when you burst into laughter, he would like to hear it every single day for the rest of his life. It just made him feel light and bubbly, calmed him down. 
“You know what Y/n?” he asked as he collected himself
“What?” 
“I want to make a bet with you”.
“A bet? What kind of bet?” you looked at him, not sure what he was about to propose.
“See the tree over there? The one close to the ice cream stand? The last one that arrives there has to pay for the ice cream. What do you think”
You smirked, as your expression changed in the blink of an eye and rolled up your sleeves. How did Namjoon forget how competitive you can get when bets were involved. 
“Bring it on Mr. Kim!” You exclaimed as you jumped to prepare yourself. “You’re so gonna have to pay for me!” 
For the nth time that day, he was reminded of how much you didn’t change over the years. How much the same old things excited you or brought a spark in your eyes.
“No way I’m paying! I’m so gonna beat you in the race!” Namjoon challenged you right away.
“Sureeeee,” You chuckled, “Says the same guy who lost all the time back at uni and paid for everyone.”
“You remember??” Namjoon asked, taken by surprise.
“How can I forget? I had a couple of free treats, thanks to you” you laughed “I mean, who will say no to free ice cream, han? You better get ready Namjoon- ah! I’m on fire today. I might be smaller than you, but I’m way faster. Ready?” you asked, still warming up your muscles as if you were preparing for an olympic competition. 
“Aaaaw” Namjoon cooed “you didn’t change at all. Okay, on your marks…”
This is when things became serious for you. You position yourself in order not to miss the departure, not a single bit aware of Namjoon’s tender expression. The more he looked at you, at your cuteness over the simplest things, the more he felt endeared at you.  You probably may not have been aware, but Namjoon let you start ahead of him and he ran right after you. Always making sure he kept a step behind. 
When your hand finally touched the tree bark, you turned around and did your little happy dance exclaiming that you won. Just for that Namjoon thought he was in fact, the real winner here.
“I can’t believe that you won” he exclaimed but it sounded so fake, you became skeptical. Panting from the effort, you managed to say.
“Namjoon- ah! You cheated! I can see you let me win! Why?” you frown, pouting. “You’re not even breathless, how is that possible?”
“Aaaaw! Have I let you win?” he asked, dangerously close to you. “I don’t think I did! Anyway, ice cream is on me today… again”.
You studied his face for a moment. He didn’t seem a tiny bit deceived that he just lost a bet. He even had a warm smile on his face, his dimples on full display. You pouted even more.
“Namjoon-ah, you let me win. I know you did”.
“Of course not. I ran like my life depended on it”.
“Yeah! Yeah! Sure, I believe that,” You stared back at him, your eyebrows knitting on your forehead, your eyes in a squint.
Your breathing was much calmer now, and you were able to speak normally. Namjoon felt himself too entranced by you, if he continued to look at you like that, he didn't know what he could do. Instead of kissing you like his guts were claiming, he leaned towards you and poke your forehead. 
“Ouch” your fingers traced the spot Namjoon just poked. It was so sudden, that it took you by surprise. But at the same time you couldn’t help being fond of it.  
“Namjoon-ah! You meanie!” You pouted “You let me win and now, you’re hurting me! I don’t follow you this morning” you laughed, “Why are you like this??”
“I believe that you should not ask that, little miss. This might be information I want to keep top secret”.
“Oh Oh!  look at you,” You playfully teased, “All cool and mysterious, keeping information to yourself,”
“I heard that mysterious people are very attractive,” Namjoon remarked as he puffed out his chest, “Does Ms. Y/N think that mysterious people are attractive?”
You smiled at him, looking straight into his eyes. He was so handsome, a mix of confidence and doubt. He was himself the incarnation of Adonis. The greek god of desire and beauty. 
“Hum… let me think about it… Nah, I am personally not attracted to mysterious people. You know what seduces me?” without realising it, you got lost in your own thoughts and you had no filter anymore “Intelligence is seductive. Kindness is seductive. When someone is really caring and tender, this is really attractive, at least to me. If the person has dimples, broad shoulders, a beautiful smile and thighs… omg, if he has muscular thighs I’m a lost case”
Namjoon, who’s brain usually malfunctions when you’re around, has now completely stopped functioning. He just stopped in his tracks staring at you, his eyes wide. Trying to process the words that just left your mouth. It can’t be true is it? It’s too good to be true is it? But he just heard them. Straight from you. 
You stopped walking on the spot, realising what you just had said. Your eyes went wide and it seemed to Namjoon that the blood had left your face before that beautiful pink colored your cheeks once more.
“I mean… I…” You stuttered, which was unusual for you. A hint for Namjoon that your brain too, was malfunctioning. “I mean, dimples are universally attractive, right? We… Aren’t we all attracted to dimples? I mean… Oh well, I think I’ll just shut up now” you blushed. You were red from the top of your head to your toes. 
“I’m pretty sure it’s just you, who found it attractive,” Namjoon teased you. He couldn’t help himself, he needed to make you laugh again. His heart was beating loudly inside his own chest and he could very well feel the blush creep up his own cheeks. But that’s a story for another time. For now he just wants to see you smile at the very least. But instead of a smile, you got shy and it melted his heart.
“Namjoon-ah… I was just…”
“Say no more, Y/N, I just love teasing you”
“Yeah, it’s better if I just stop talking” you sheepishly smiled at him “The good thing is, you will pay for my ice cream today so I’m gonna take the bigger portion I ever had”
“You can buy the entire shop and I still won’t mind paying for that” Namjoon grinned.
Your heart was beating so fast and you felt so light. You never felt like this before near anybody else other than Namjoon, even back in uni. Was he flirting with you? Were you flirting with him? What was happening? How’s this even possible? Not even half an hour ago, you were alone, reading against a tree. Now you are with the most handsome and interesting man that you ever met and both of you seem to be fond of each other, at least you hope you were not imagining this. 
You were probably standing there staring at him, the familiar blush dusted on your cheeks that your mind didn’t get enough time to process it when Namjoon took your hand in his, like it’s no big deal. Like it’s something of a usual occurrence to him, to you. And when you finally came to your senses, you couldn’t help but feel his hand. His soft but tough skin, his long fingers and the way they intertwined and laced around your own. The warmth of his grip, the tingling sensation that every point of contact sent through your skin. You were no longer sure of what’s reality or what’s an illusion. 
The day couldn’t have been more perfect for Namjoon. This morning, he wouldn't have imagined it would turn out so beautifully. Walking hand in hand with the person he held a crush for over the longest period of time. If anyone would ever tell his university self that he would be walking with you while holding hands, he would have probably laughed at that person. But life does have weird ways of coming in a full circle. And here he was. The anxiety of being away from his kids was long gone. He did think of them, of course. But he was in such a peaceful and happy place, he didn’t have time to be overwhelmed. 
You walked around for a while like that. Stopping for your ice cream once and then making a few more stops as you both tried some street food here and there. And between all this, the walking, the eating, the picking out food stalls, you both couldn’t stop talking to each other, couldn’t stop the bickering. It was a while since any of you had so much fun. Been a while since you both felt so light and bubbly. Particularly with another human being, an adult specifically. Nothing about today was planned beforehand but the day was nevertheless full of remarkable moments. Small moments that you never want to forget.
****************************
“So this is it then,” Namjoon’s words jolted you out of your thoughts. Surely enough, you could see your apartment come into view from a distance. The day surely flew by. And probably for the first time, you were disappointed by the thought of having to return home yet. Beside you, Namjoon didn’t seem to let your hand go either. His grip on your hand was as tight as it was when he first held it.
A little sad that you will soon have to go separate ways with Namjoon, you looked at him. His features were half hidden by the darkness that already fell on the city. Sensing your gaze on him, he looked back at you with a tender smile on his face.
“What are you thinking of Namjoon?” You asked, an equally tender smile on your face.
“Thinking?” Namjoon asked, “Nothing really. Why?”
“You had such a soft smile on your face,” You shrugged, “So wondered what got you smiling like that.”
“Ah, that’s because I had a good day today. I’m happy I got to spend all this time with you.”
You probably weren’t expecting this answer from him, so it was a bit surprising and also made your heart flutter thinking about how you were the cause of that smile. He, too, made you happy today.  Very happy.
Guided by the desire to stay with Namjoon a little bit longer, you let your hand secure in his and with the other one, you gently laid your fingers on his forearm as you continued walking. It was not something that you planned to do, you just felt the need to hold onto him. He didn’t react to this but his already wide smile grew wider, if it’s something that’s even possible. 
“We’ve arrived” you stopped in front of your apartment building “I live here”.
Namjoon didn’t say anything but stared at your doorstep, lost in a daze. It seems that it still didn’t fully dawn upon him that it’s already the end of your day together. And when he didn’t say anything else for a while longer you just gave him a small nudge waking him up from his reverie. 
“This is so funny,” He remarked, “I walk in front of your home almost every single day when I go to work, yet I never imagined you lived here. Life is full of surprises”.
“Oh yeah?” You giggled. 
You both just look at each other, a little awkward, a little shy, unsure of what you had to say. Of what both of you wanted to say. You both knew that the time you spent together today was a million times different than how you spent it before. You can’t really pinpoint what changed or what pushed for this change. But whatever it was, it was good. It was more than just good. It was perfect.
“So….” 
“So…”
“You live here…” Namjoon bashfully said and mentally slapped himself almost instantly. Wasn’t it obvious? You had just said you live there. Jin will laugh at him until the next century when he gets to know this. 
As he was scolding himself internally, he didn’t notice you tiptoe in front of him. It’s your hands taking a hold on his chest that made him realise that something was happening. 
“Oh” was the only thing he thought of saying when he felt your warm lips against his cheek. Less than a second after, he could see your beautiful smile. You seemed to be way more at ease than he was. On an honest note, you weren’t sure what prompted you to do that. But looking at him, it only felt right to peck his cheek in a kiss. 
“You’re so cute when you’re mad at yourself Namjoon-ah! You’re the cutest!” you tittered, your eyes bright. Namjoon swore, if he stared any longer he would be able to trace galaxies in them. 
And as for you, saying Namjoon was cute was an understatement. You knew he was just as nervous as you. Nervous, happy, excited, overwhelmed and so many other things. It’s like waves crashing on top of each other. Restless, yet everything seemed like it was falling into place. 
Under the pale moonlight, you gazed at Namjoon’s face. In contrast to the softness he radiates, his face was full of sharp angles and beautiful lines. He was looking at you with something akin to tenderness in his eyes, his coffee brown eyes, fixated on yours, his brown hair falling over his face. You were tempted to reach out and brush it away. But you couldn’t do anything but standstill and continue to gaze back into his eyes. And deep inside you, a fire burned and crackled.  
When you felt him closing the distance between you, you instinctively closed your eyes and clutched at his shirt with your trembling hands. He was so close, you could feel his warmth enveloping you like a comfortable blanket. And with each passing moment, the fire inside you burned brighter. Stomach tangling, ribs crackling, butterflies scattering everywhere.
And just as Namjoon’s gaze dropped down to your mouth, he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you in, your lips tarried at his, baiting each other with the warmth of your breath. And just as his lips gently leaned on yours, a sound to your side broke the charm.
“Hum hum” the old man living in your block cleared his throat. Still not completely coming to your senses, both Namjoon and you sprang apart, half shy, half embarrassed. You then moved on your left, giving the space that the intruder needed to pass by and enter the building.
This is when you noticed Namjoon’s finger, grazing his red and luscious lips at the exact place where he felt you. He seemed as shy and shocked as you were. 
“I… This is like an old dream coming true” Namjoon admitted, flustered.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know if I can say it”
“...” you stared at him.
“It’s nothing bad, you know?” he moved from a foot to another, seemingly shy and nervous.
“Then, why don’t you tell me” you had no idea what he was gonna say. All you could think about was the sudden sensation of cold you felt when you had to move back from him. It seems like you belonged in his arms and you wished you could just snuggle up against him as soon as possible. 
And the next words that slipped past his lips was probably something you never imagined yourself or ever pictured happening. 
“I used to have a huge crush on you while we were at uni,” He said, softly giggling, “I can’t believe I’m admitting that to you years later.”
Surprised, it was not something you expected him to have said, you stared at him blank, your eyes wide open. But then again, there was also no denying the sparks that flew between you back then. All this while, you thought it was only you. But, now you know, he was feeling something similar too. In a way, it was sort of comforting to know that. 
When you noticed that his features changed, you realised he might have confused your reaction to rejection. Indeed, when he started to talk, he seemed to have regretted the confession. You didn’t want him to feel that way so you moved towards him and engulfed yourself in his arms.
“Woah Namjoon-ah! I didn’t know at all…” You said, at a loss for words. Equal parts embarrassed, equal parts happy. But at the same time you couldn’t help squeeze his frame between your arms. And in your grip, Namjoon stood still, probably too shocked or surprised for his own good. His heart at that point was slippery and hot and loud. So, so loud.
You both stood still like that for a few moments. It was too surreal, it was like falling off a cliff at a high velocity, unaware of your surroundings, yet still somehow suspended within the moment. And after what felt like ages, you turned your head to face him. When you looked at his gentle features peering at you, you knew what you felt in your heart. You were sure. But wanting to confirm if Namjoon was feeling the same, you ask -
“What about now Namjoon? How do you feel about me now?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper. 
Namjoon thought it was too good to be true, that the moment was too magical, too perfect. He must have been dreaming and yet here he was.  With you in his arms, worried about what he might think, he thought that life offered him the most beautiful gift in a long time. He smiled right back at you as he looked straight into your eyes before he tighter his arms around you. One hand at the nape of your neck, he brought you closer to his chest and kept you there for a long moment, both savoring the sensation.
“Now? Let’s see… It’s beyond just a crush. I feel like… we belong? Isn't it strange?” 
“No Namjoon, it’s not strange. I feel the same” you told him, your nose against his shirt, breathing in his familiar scent.
And with that Namjoon giggled in your hold. 
“How do you feel about a date next weekend then?” He asked as his fingers delicately carded through your hair.
“Let me see” you said, thinking “I found it’s a very long time to wait! I already cannot wait to be with you… What to do?” you teased “If we talk on the phone meanwhile, maybe I can wait until next week-end” you smiled at him.
“Aaaaw! Of course we can talk,” Namjoon laughed, “I recognise you there. You didn’t change a bit!”
“But it’s how you like me, right?”
“Right!” He smiled and took your hands in his “I also can’t wait to be with you again”
The journey was coming to an end, sadly. You moved back from his arms, tiptoed to kiss his cheek one last time and lingered against him a bit longer than necessary. 
“Stay safe Namjoon”
“Yes, you too” 
“Sure Namjoon,” you giggled, “I’ll try not to get robbed on the way to my doorstep.”
Namjoon busted a laugh at that. 
“Anyway, see you soon.”
“See you soon.”
When you entered your apartment, you couldn’t believe what just happened. Sliding against the door, you sat down on the floor and held your knees against your heart in an attempt to keep it in your chest. 
Not even 15 minutes later, still in the same position, you received a text message. 
“Kind of think that next weekend is way too far… you were right missy <3”
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mel-the-fangirl · 3 years
Text
Toss A Coin to Your Witcher
Henry Cavill x Reader
Words: 2,362
I am so so so nervous to post this because this is my first time writing a Henry fic and I know that the Henry Cavill fandom is such a tightknit family, I hope you guys have room for one more hopeless Henry stan. I know this isn’t even half as good as the other Henry fics out there but I had this idea stuck in my head for a very long time.
Please like and reblog or leave me some replies if I should do a second part! Thank you!
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The makeup brush swept precisely along your cheekbone, covering it in a subtle shimmer. Production staff milled around behind you, testing sound, testing lights. Being an actor, these things were nothing new. 
"Now remember, say it with me," 
"Don't say or do anything stupid." you recited with your long time agent and friend, Marge.
You thanked the makeup artist and made your way to the set. 
"When have I ever said or done anything stupid though?" you asked
Marge looked at you appraisingly before replying, 
"There's always a time for everything. Now go on." 
The vibe on set dialled to a hundred when you stepped on. It was really flattering how they cheered as you plonked your butt down on the wooden chair, a red tarp was set up behind you and the studio lights surrounded the area.
"Ready when you are Y/N!" the producer aka the ring leader of this whole operation flashed you a thumbs up
You nodded, feeling the nervousness bubble up your throat. 
Surprise, surprise. You still got nervous in front of the camera. It wasn't hard to handle though, you took a couple of deep breaths and you were good to go. 
"Hey guys, gals, and non-binary pals! I'm Y/N Y/L/N. I'm here with Buzzfeed and we're gonna be playing Twenty Questions." you winked at the camera with your arms wrapped around the little jar that had your questions in it
 "Let's get started, shall we?" 
Eager to begin, you stuck your hand into the jar without a second thought. 
"I freaking love Buzzfeed, really. Especially Tasty, I mean, I don't cook. But," you shrugged, wiggling your fingers, hearing the tiny bits of folded paper move around in the jar. "I love watching people cook. Then I love eating."
Scattered chuckles broke out through the crew. 
After a few minutes of rustling around, you figured you’d just come clean, "Okay. Small problem." 
You lifted your hand, the jar coming along with it. The pieces of folded paper crowding around your encased wrist as you waved your arm. 
Another round of shocked giggles started up as a couple of assistants rushed to you and tried to yank the jar off. 
"This is too good," the producer chortled, "Mind if we keep this in?"
"Fine by me!" you watched intently as Marge rolled up your sleeve so one assistant could pour oil all over it. Eagle eyed, she watched as a drop of oil landed on the bottom hem of your sweater.
"Great job, Y/N. This sweater was a gift from that designer you met last week, he said he made it just for you." she scolded, taking charge by grabbing the jar with two hands
"It was an accident, Marge. It's not like I planned on getting my hand stuck in a jar today!"
With a tug and a pop, your hand was free and slick with olive oil. Marge landed on her butt on the floor.
"Marge!" you howled with laughter, helping her up
She straightened her blouse, all business but her cheeks were stained red with embarrassment. 
"Can someone help Y/N wash the oil off her hands? Let's get this show on the road, people!" she barked marching orders at the staff, clapping her hands as she went. She wasn't in charge here but no one dared to question her. 
You chuckled, knowing that this was a cute little anecdote you’d be sharing with anyone who was willing to listen.
A few minutes later, you were back in your chair, having a laugh with everyone. The jar incident already stripped away the majority of your anxiety so you were ready to go.
"Okay! First question!" you squinted at the strip of paper, "What is the most expensive thing you’ve stolen from any set you’ve been on?" 
“Well!” you widened your eyes at the camera, “Bold of you all to assume that I’ve ever stolen anything!”
Marge scoffed rather audibly, making everyone raise their eyebrows at you.
“Okay, fine!” you held up your hand. The stunning ring you had on sparkled underneath the lights, nearly blinding anyone who looked.
“I did a period movie a while back and they had these drop dead gorgeous, and I mean gorgeous pieces of jewelry. I wore this piece,” you gazed down at the ring fondly, “for the whole of the film and I just pinched it after we wrapped, I couldn’t part with it, okay? I’m like a fricking magpie, I love shiny things.”
The crew burst into fits of laughter, making you laugh along with them.
“To clarify! This is the replica the props department had made, a very expensive replica. I can see you freaking out, Marge. And no, you don’t have to call the insurance company.”
You were a big hit, to say the least. You had them in stitches every time you opened your mouth but all good things had to come to an end, right?
It didn’t matter how carefully you dipped your hand into the question jar, this next one was going to make things very messy for you. 
"What do you like to do in your free time?" you read out loud, tapping a finger against your chin
"There hasn't been much free time lately,” you chuckled, “Let’s see… I play video games, yeah. I am so obsessed with the Witcher, it's borderline unhealthy. I’ve read all the books and played the games so many times." 
"What do you think of Henry Cavill as Geralt?" the producer asked you
Henry Cavill.
Just hearing that man's name was enough to make the blood rush to your cheeks. You brushed an imaginary hair out of your face. From behind the camera, Marge raised a knowing brow.
"Well," you cleared your throat and sat up straighter
"To be honest, at first I was really skeptical about his casting. I mean, he is way too good looking. Like way. Way. Too good looking. But…"
"But?"
Your mind drifted to the first time you saw a picture of Henry Cavill in full costume. The white hair, the golden cat eyes, the intense gaze and all that leather? It definitely made you feel… Certain things.
You cleared your throat, propping yourself on the table with your arms. To be honest, your head was still in a Henry Cavill haze so you had zero control of what came out of your mouth next.
"I'd definitely toss all my coins to that Witcher. Toss a few other things as well."
Everyone in the room ooh'ed and whistled, delighted by your saucy reply. The ruckus snapped you out of it and your hand immediately flew to your mouth.
“Please tell me I didn’t just say that out loud.”
“You did.” Marge mouthed at you, trying but failing to contain her laughter
"So you enjoyed his performance as Geralt?" the producer pressed on, hoping to get more audience-raking answers
How many times were you going to blush during this interview?
"Oh, well, about that, I haven't really gotten around to actually watching it.” you admitted sheepishly, “But I've seen photos and some clips. Very impressed by what I've seen so far."
"You will watch it though, right?" 
"Oh, absolutely. No way I’d miss out on that! Henry Cavill is an incredibly wonderful, talented actor. I think he’s also a fan of the franchise so I have no doubt that he played Geralt to perfection as with all his other roles." you nodded solemnly, putting a hand to your heart
Everyone in the room with you caught on that you were gushing over the actor, the sly looks they all exchanged with one another were a dead giveaway. Too bad you didn’t notice before you could try and play it cool.
“Alright! I think it’s time for the next question!” you declared, swiftly plucking another question out of the jar
By the time it was all over, you had convinced yourself that your little crush-related blunder wasn’t even a big deal, it would probably just be a little footnote in that video. No biggie.
But, Jesus Christ were you wrong.
The video took a couple of weeks to edit and in that time, you were busier than ever. A movie you had just done was getting a lot of attention, your performance in particular had critics singing your praises. At that point, you were definitely getting noticed a lot more when you stepped out for coffee.
So, the timing was just perfect.
The second the video went live, your phone was going off non stop. Twitter mentions, Instagram tags, and articles. A few notable entries being:
“WATCH: RISING STAR Y/N Y/L/N GUSHES ABOUT HENRY CAVILL IN CHARMING BUZZFEED VIDEO”
“@geraskier-rights: Y/N Y/L/N REALLY SAID SHE’D TOSS ALL HER COINS TO HENRY CAVILL’S GERALT AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS”
“@geralt-of-vengerberg: Y/N The Fond™ is showing👀👀👀”
Marge sat on your sofa with your phone in hand, absolutely thrilled while reading tweets out loud. You scheduled a panic session with her over lunch once everything blew up.
“Oh my God.” you groaned, massaging your temples. “Marge, what do I do?”
“About what?” she didn’t even bother to look up at you
You plopped yourself down next to her, laying your head in her lap, “All that. It’s everywhere.”
“And? There’s nothing wrong with it, they all think you’re charming and funny. A true Relatable Queen.”
Was it your sanity slipping through your fingers? Or the overpowering embarrassment? You had no idea but whatever it was, it had you laughing until your stomach hurt.
Marge tugged at your hair, “Get it together, bitch. Jeez.”
“What are you so worried about anyway?” she asked, placing your phone on your stomach
You swiped through your emails absentmindedly, “I’m not worried about anything, it’s just that what if…”
You left the words hanging in the air, you might as well have been dangling from a cliff from how much colour drained from your face.
“What if what?” 
Marge shoveled some pasta into her mouth before noticing that you essentially turned into a statue right next to her.
“Y/N!” she shook your arm with a grip you were sure would leave some bruises. “What’s the matter?”
Wordlessly, you passed your phone to her, the comment from a certain verified account displayed prominently on Buzzfeed’s Instagram post of a little snippet from your video, the “I’d toss all my coins to that Witcher” part, naturally.
“@henrycavill: Dear Y/N, how many coins are we talking about here? Let’s talk about my reward.”
It was all Marge could do to not throw your phone across the room. Her eyes went wide, following your every move as you paced back and forth, a thumbnail in your mouth.
“That did not just happen, I did not just see that right now. I didn’t.” you babbled, your heart beating thunderously in your chest
There it went. Your very own ticking time bomb finally went off. Number of casualties? Just one. You.
“Okay. Just calm down, Y/N.” Marge caught you mid-pace, squeezing your arms
“Maybe it was a fan account. Tell me it was a fan account, Marge. Henry Cavill did not just hear me imply what I implied.” you grasped at her hand with your clammy one
“Well if he has a fan account that’s verified and has fourteen point five million followers?”
“Oh god.” you groaned, sinking to the floor and hugging your knees
“Oh, Christ.”
Marge hauled you to your feet and thrust your phone in your hand. She looked you hard in the eye, “Stop your whining and answer him. You’re Y/N fucking Y/L/N, one of the hottest people on the planet, start acting like it.”
You stared at her, eyes wide. Your chest rose and fell rapidly. Marge’s words started to make sense in your mind and adrenaline started surging through your veins. You nodded fervently, psyching yourself up.
“Fuck yeah.” you breathed, clicking ‘Reply’
“@yourinstagram: @henrycavill I know you take orens, crowns, and florens but maybe we should discuss further?”
Before you could even stop yourself (did you even want to?), your fingers already landed on the blue paper plane.
“I did it.” you exhaled, staring as the likes and overly enthusiastic replies started pouring in
“Fuck yeah, you did. Now, come on. Leave your phone. We’re getting drunk.”
More weeks passed and you actually ended up forgetting about that little reply you left Henry Cavill. You were busier than ever. Guestings, endorsement deals, and awards shows left and right. So, when you finally had a couple of days free, you decided you would set up camp on your sofa and finally watch Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia.
You even threw on your Superman pyjamas, “What the hell.” you shrugged
If you were going down this road, you might as well do it right. Maybe you would even watch the Man from U.N.C.L.E after or would it be Night Hunter? The decision would have to wait.
You watched, absolutely riveted as the White Wolf battled against the kikimora, his silver sword hacked at the creature with unmatched expertise. You were only a few minutes in but you already knew you’d be stuck on that sofa for hours.
When the kikimora had Geralt pinned underwater with his trusty sword just beyond arm’s reach, you found yourself on the edge of your seat, one of your cushions in a chokehold.
“Come on, come on, come on.” you muttered as Geralt reached for his sword
You wouldn’t find out if he got it or not. A knock on your door literally made you fall off the sofa.
“Fuck!” you exclaimed, your hip was already smarting from the impact
Whoever that asshole was, you swore you were going to give him a piece of your mind. You stomped to your front door just as that idiot started knocking again.
You huffed and threw the door open then your mind immediately went blank.
“I am so sorry. Are you alright? I think I heard you fall?”
Oh yeah. You were definitely falling.
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You can find the second part here!
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Text
When the Pain Ends // Charlie Gillespie
Summary: Breaking up with your boyfriend ends with your broken hand, a broken heart and a trip to Canada. Getting out of Oklahoma for comfort of your younger brother Owen brings you into contact with a sweet Canadian.
Warnings: Swearing, hospital, cheating boyfriend, angst and bit of fluff
Words: 3.1k
Requested: No.
A/N: Tidbit of info is that I am a university student. I had last week off and I’m six minutes into my History Zoom Lecture. Here’s a little fic.
TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX PLEASE!
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The scowl glued on your face as you waited in the ER for the results from the x-ray you had gotten back from minutes ago. A bag of ice on the swollen knuckles of your right hand still splattered in drops of blood. The same blood as the small drops on your shirt as well. If that didn’t put a scowl on your face, it was the next issue.
The reason for your visit to the ER was in bed next over complaining as a nurse checked his face. His eyes meeting yours in a blend of guilt, regret and fear almost. You couldn’t meet his eyes. You didn’t want to meet his eyes.
Let’s backtrack a little for a short history.
The summer after graduation, you had met a guy on the beach playing volleyball in need of another player. You joined, and then you fell for the guy just as he did for you. For the last three years, you were now twenty-one years old. Parker had been a really good guy. Until yesterday.
“Babe!” Parker sounded congested with the bandages held up his nose. He had been fighting the nurse to come to your side.
“Don’t call me that!” You hissed glaring at the tall boy with the auburn hair colour that had once been your favourite colour.
“C’mon it was a mistake-Ow!” Parker whined at the nurse applied more pressure as she cast a sympathetic glance at you. A small smile of thanks passed to the nurse who had maybe pressed a little no hard on Parker’s nose.
Your eyes rolled at the drama that was Parker when it came to injuries that had been his entire fault, to be frank. Your fist meeting his face? His fault for cheating. What did he expect? A congratulations? Screw that.
“Say anything else I swear I’ll hit the other ball.” You glared at the boy sending him to a fit, shaking fear of stupidity.
The beach was filled up with teens and adults with children on the nice weekend day out of the loud city. Originally you hadn’t been able to join Parker with your mutual friends, but something else had spurred you there. Instead of having the weekly movie night via FaceTime with your younger brother, you had other plans. A particular video sent by Parker’s best friend and his cousin too had brought you here. Livvy had grown close in the three-year relationship you had with her cousin.
Your fury filled gaze flickered around the beach and the grass in the large opening area of the waterfront. Finally, your eyes found Parker sitting with Livvy on the blanket on the grass with Steve. Livvy was the first to see with marching through the people spreading like a curtain from the angry girl.
“Hey, Parker!” You shouted at your boyfriend in a conversation with your other two friends. Parker’s smile grew just before it falters at your expression.
“Hey, Babe,” Parker spoke, climbing to his full five-foot-ten stature. Livvy’s smile pulled up in an amused smirk while Steve looked more confused.
“How was your weekend at your sick Granny’s house?” You came to a stop a foot away from him. Arms crossed just under your chest his thick eyebrows furrowed together.
“Uh…it was okay. She’s feeling better.” Parker nodded to himself tilting his head to the side, “It was-“
“I hope she better. Her treatment must have been incredible.” You replied, unfurling your arms to grab the phone from your back pocket.
Parker grew more confused, “What?”
“The doctor sure knew what he was doing. The prescription of ‘dicked down’ cured her illness and old age.” The whistle you made after your statement sounded, but you grew more satisfied with the circle of people behind you.
“Oh.” Steve choked, raising one fist to press against his mouth. By now Livvy had started recording on her phone.
Livvy and Parker may be cousins, but she loathed cheaters when it was the cause of her parents’ divorce. Parker’s lips parted as he paled. The click of the glass screen brought up a video of Parker and a brunette in a hot tub.
“Ba-“
“Fucking look at your actions.” You hissed stepping even closer, “Was it worth it? Jeopardizing a relationship with someone you share years of memories with? Years of love and trust? All for thirty seconds of fun? We both know you tend to…get too excited.”
“Oh shit,” Steve spoke, shifting his gaze between you and Parker like he was a bobblehead of Einstein. The very bobblehead that you had laughed giving Steve with his obsession over the legendary scientist.
“It just happened. I still love you. I just needed a- “Parker stumbled back bringing his hands to his face, “OW! You broke my nose!”
“Ouch.” You hissed shaking your aching hand coated in some blood that splattered your shirt from shaking the hand.
“What the hell! You bit…holy fuck!” Parker screamed as your foot came up between his spread legs, nailing his left nut. He collapsed onto the grass, struggling to hold his bleeding broke nose and his nuts.
“That’s what you get asshole.” You shouted, turning to Livvy, “Can you take me to the hospital?”
“Parker drove, I’ll drive you both there. Steve can keep you two from fighting.” Livvy spoke, ending the video to shove everything in the oversized beach bag.
Now it was hours later as per usual in most hospitals elongating the time you were forced to spend with your now ex-boyfriend. Livvy and Steve had gone home a while back. Parker continued trying to fix the unrepairable damage he had done.
“Y-“
“That’s it!” You exclaimed jumping down from the bed to storm over to Parker. You made a few steps before arms encircled your waist.
“Okay, Slugger.” The gritty voice of your father spoke tugging you as far away from your ex-boyfriend as possible, “As much I want to kill him, I think you broke his pretty-boy face enough.”
The anger drained from your body as you slumped against your dad anguish set in with a tsunami of hurt. Time melted as you broke in your father’s arm; missing the doctor giving information. Your hand was fitted with a cast, and next thing you were aware of it was in the car.
“You bruised hits nuts. Broke his nose.” Dad nonchalantly spoke, turning the steering wheel as he exited the hospital parking lot. He didn’t bother making small talk as he let you be quiet on the drive home.
You didn’t know what hurt more, the heartache or your broken hand stabilized in the brace. The clearing of a throat had your attention is drawn to the house you had grown up no doubt holding your upset mother.
“She’s not that mad.” Dad quietly spoke, handing your phone that had died during the time in the ER. You shot him a look at the inaccuracy of his statement because you both know she was angry.
“Her daughter just spent hours in a hospital with a dead phone. We both know she probably thought I was dead in a ditch.” You deadpanned as you both walked up to the door of the home in Norman, Oklahoma.
The door opened before you could reach for it, and a flurry of blonde hair attacked you in a hug. Your mother hugged then leaned away to scan your features. Catching the dried tear stains paired with the red-rimmed eyes.
“Sweetheart.” Dinah spoke, raising her hands to wipe the tears from your face only causing more to fall, “What’s wrong?”
“Parker cheated on me.” You mumbled melting into her arms in another round of tears, breaking your parents’ hearts.
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Meanwhile in Vancouver, Canada
Owen loved his job and the people he had met, but he missed the weekly movie nights with his older sister. The Joyner siblings had gotten down pat a system of sync to have the same movie playing at the same time on FaceTime. Imagine his surprise when he got a text apologizing.
Virtual movie night postponed. It put him in a slump that greatly concerned his roommate at the decrease of excitement. Even the next day, he was sad like a kicked puppy.
“Bro? You good?” Charlie asked from his place in the kitchen, scanning his emails on his computer. Owen barely made his eyes, “Wasn’t movie night with your sister yesterday?”
Owen nodded, “Yeah she-“
As Owen had gone to explain his phone had dinged with a concerning message from his mother.
Mom: Have you heard from Y/N? She hasn’t come home.
Owen swiped out of the conversation to the most used one with you shared with him to send a mass of messages. All not even coming up as read by you. It was his stipulation that you had it one for his safe of mind.
“C’mon you little shit,” Owen grumbled, pressing your contact to call. It didn’t even ring, “Dead cell.”
Charlie’s full attention shifted to the younger guy sitting on their couch in the apartment they used during filming. As Owen started pacing, Charlie was over quick as a bunny to offer comfort to him. The boys had grown so close, with Jeremy too, that they knew how to help the other.
“Owen, you need to tell me what’s going on.” Charlie soothed the blonde with his eyes pleading with the teenager.
“My parents haven’t talked to my sister. She didn’t go home.” Owen admitted scratching at his chest when his chest tightened. The other immediately finding his pulse on his neck to ensure he still had a pulse.
“Oh shit.” Charlie retorted, tapping his foot on the hardwood floor trying to find the right words to help his friend.
For the next hour, the boys kept in contact with Owen’s family and checking your social media in shifts as they filmed. It was a slow day when Owen’s phone finally rang with his mother’s contact once more.
“Mom, did you find her?” Owen asked, picking at the skin on his lips pacing as he had all day. The level of anxiety had been perfect for the scene he had filmed as Alex.
“Yeah. Look, Owen, she needs to get out of Oklahoma. Do you have room for her?” Dinah asked her son periodically glancing in the living room at the lifeless young woman.
“Yeah. We have an extra room.” Owen supplied squeezing the phone in his grip, “How is she? What happened?”
“I’m letting her settle before I ask any questions, but her flight is in a bit. It was either you take her in, or we pay for a hotel room. Oh! I got this lego-“
“I have to get back to filming. I’ll call you tonight.” Owen told his mother as his thumb hit the record circle on his phone. Kenny waving him over to film a scene with Booboo that would be the last before heading home.
The over the counter pain pill went down with a swig of water in the airport waiting for Owen and his roommate. Owen had messaged you that he would pick you up on the way from the set in perfect timing.
“Y/N!” Owen cheered catching sight of your form hunched forward on the bench you had miraculously found empty. Your blank eyes seeing the blue of your younger brother.
Owen’s eyes widened in shock, “What the hell happened to your hand?”
Noncommittal, the girl walked by her brother with her luggage in the mission to get to the car. All you wanted was to burst into years under your blankets until the world turned again, when birds sang, and the word wasn’t painted in dull colours.
Just as it had during the ride from the hospital to the house, it was dead silent in the car with the barest sound of music. Owen and Charlie had been having a conversation with expressions with the tension in the backseat stifling.
“This is our place.” Charlie spoke, opening the apartment door with a flourish for the girl and her luggage. Your eyes scanned the modest apartment with minimal mess compared to the tornado devastation of Owen’s Oklahoma room.
“Okay.” You replied, watching as Owen rolled the luggage to the room you would use for the few weeks you would be here.
Once showered, dressed and settled, you retreated to the couch to watch a film with the two boys. Your mind fluttered between Beca’s blow out with her father and Jesse to the city of Norman. As if thinking of Parker manifested something your phone buzzed with notifications.
@/livvyjo: Go, girl! [video]
@/malia134: Parker goes down like the bitch he is!!!
@/notsteverogers: I got a front-row seat to the fight.
Those three comments on Livvy’s video had more support than hate plus the video itself was hilarious. It caught the entire confrontation from greeting the cheater to being pulled away to spend the ten minutes in the same car. The car you had hooked up in the backseat of in the years you dated him.
 “-The prescription of ‘dicked down’ cured her illness and old age.” The pure anger on your expression amused you.
“What are you watching?” Owen inquired from the couch he watched the movie from. It made up for the lack of a film last night.
“A girl punching her bag of shit ex-boyfriend. She almost ripped his face off in the hospital.” You softly replied with your thumb double-tapping Livvy’s post.
Charlie’s attention shifted from the pool mashup with the Barden Bellas to the pride evident in your tone. It was the first time he had heard you laugh during the few hours he had been in your presence.
“What movie?”
“Oh, you know Parker’s Dicked Down Adventures. Filmed free with an iPhone.” You spoke sliding down to sit flush to Charlie to show the video you refreshed.
Owen’s mouth opened, “He cheated on you? How stupid is he??”
“You have a mean right hook.” Charlie supplied replaying the video for the third time with a weird feeling in his gut. The confidence stirred a body warming heat in the Canadian actor unlike anything else he had felt before.
“Dad taught me.” You replied, slouching down in the plush couch with a tiny smiling, “The nurse heard what happened. She put excessive pressure for his actions. I overheard his diagnosis; nasty bruised testicle and a broken nose.”
Both boys winced at the description. Owen ditching Charlie’s side to sit beside you, leaving you in the middle of the boys.
“I almost attacked him before Dad dragged me out of the room.” You recounted snuggling into your younger brother’s side.
“Where are my keys?” Owen questioned his roommate, “We need them to drive to the airport. I need to kill the ass that hurt my sister.”
Your deft fingers grasped Owen’s wrist when he went to get up because, in all honesty, he probably would book a flight. He wouldn’t go through with the plan to physically hurt Parker, but Owen had a wicked tongue for insults.
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You spent one month in Vancouver with your brother and his castmates from helping Maddie with her homework. Movie nights with Owen changed to include Charlie too. Shopping trips with Sav and Tori. Baking with Jadah. You became family with them.
All good things come to an end. You had settled back in Norman with brighter plans that didn’t involve relying on men. Movie nights still happened with the boys, but things got hectic. Virtual movie nights shifted to texting Charlie and calls.
“Hey dork.” Charlie spoke walking down the street in Vancouver to the restaurant he was meeting the cast at. His lips pulled back in a massive grin, hearing your voice.
“Hey Char!” You enthusiastically spoke, walking out of the building with more pep in your step at the voice of the man, “What’s up?”
“On my way for food with everyone. How are you feeling?” Charlie asked, rubbing his fingertips on the dark denim pants. The sound of your voice brightening up his day more than he thought possible.
“Ooh. I should let you go, huh?” You questioned shifting to hold the phone between your shoulder and chin. Fingers unlocked the new car you had bought with the money you had saved.
A nice change of money from selling the jewellery, clothes and other miscellaneous gifts Parker had given you. The necklace he gave you that once belonged to his grandmother had been given back to him. Other than that you had no interaction with the ass.
“I’d rather talk to you.” Charlie admitted biting his lip in concentration, “I have a question.”
“Okay. What’s your question?” You questioned as your phone connected to your car—Charlie’s voice coming through the car speakers.
“Filming is almost over. Do you have plans for New Years? I’d like you to see you again.”
His words set a flutter of butterflies moving in your stomach at his nervous confidence striking the new information. The change in your friendship had been felt on his side as well and while you usually would think one-month post cheating wasn’t long enough. Something about Charlie felt comfortable as if everything had been preparing to fall for him.
“I could fly-“
“I’d like to see where you grew up. Your favourite places and where you went to school. I want to know the little things that made you who you are.” Charlie spoke coming to a stop outside the restaurant, waiting for your answer.
Owen’s eyes pulled from his debate with Sacha and Jeremy to the nervous Canadian biting his lip outside the window. By the expression on his face, Owen couldn’t guess who he was talking about. It was the smile that had been appearing on Charlie’s face for the last two weeks you had been staying with them.
Charlie had fallen for Owen’s big sister, and he couldn’t think of anyone better. The bond between you and Charlie had been natural and magical to watch. It was kinda gross seeing his best friend and sister having heart eyes with each other. Yet, Owen had never liked Parker, but he loved the idea of having Charlie as a brother.
“Y-yeah. Of course, you can Char.” The flattering blush heated up your skin at the turn in the convo—a grin splitting on the two individuals with more than three thousand kilometres between them.
“Cool. I should join the cast. I’ll text you later.”
“Bye, Charlie.” You whispered to the boy looking out the window noticing something she had been oblivious to.
The world had regained the colour, the birds sang again, and the world turned once more. All because a boy helped her heal.
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