✨Date night ✨
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“I am VERY prideful in my looks.”
I am immune to insecurities. No one can tell me how they think I look. I know how I look and how they look. I invest a lot of time and money in myself and I am not ashamed of it.
You need to repeat these standards to yourself, daily. Before you step outside with your hair up and night clothes on thinking you’re only going through a drive thru and you end up having to go inside places, think about the embarrassment and those standards.
Before you do anything, think, “Does this best represent me?”
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“THE HIGH VALUE WOMAN MINDSET...🌸”
“Becoming a high value woman starts from having a high value mindset.”
I would say that the mindset shift is the most crucial step on your femininity & high-value woman journey.
In was the case for me anyway, as I was only able to feel high value when I changed my mindset, do the inner work & and heal all my past traumas.
Surprisingly, most women completely overlook this step and focus entirely on the exterior ( “How to dress feminine” “How do walk feminine” “How to look high-value” “what you should say to a man”, “how you should behave”, “when you should talk and when you should not”). Now yes...learning all these strategies is good. However, these tactical strategies often do not lend them the promised results that they want.
🌸The reality is that those strategies, if not combined with a real mindset shift, cannot be effective and will never work.🌸
Being a high-value woman is 90 % of how you feel about yourself (which is predicted and determined by your mindset aka your inner self) and only 10 % of how you communicate it to the world through your actions, your body language, and how you treat yourself, your appearance (aka your outer-self).
I only speak from experience when I say this! You can have your makeup slayed. Outfits on point, However, if you do not do the required inner work, your confidence, understand the power of your subconscious, and heal from your past traumas from your mind. Or else, you will be stuck in a loop where your inner self does not match your outer self. A common manifestation of that is “imposter syndrome” & “low self-worth.”
This is exactly why i preach to women (espcially young black women) that your mindset is EVERYTHING!
I am not perfect there are things i still need to work on as a feminine woman in this blog post i will explain some of the tips and strategies i’ve learned and acquired over time on how to gain the high value woman mindset...
(1) You are the primary source of happiness in your life!
High value woman sets herself as her primary source of security and happiness. She is a self-assured, confident woman and she is content with herself.She is in charge of her own happiness and does not rely on her partner to make her happy. She is happy first by herself and she strives to share her joy and happiness with the right partner. You will never see a high value woman demanding from others to make her happy and blaming them for her misery. Because she puts herself first. she is tuned with her needs and is able to fulfill them herself.
How do you develop this mindset..?
By taking charge and responsibility for everything in your life, even for things you are not responsible for!
For example, it may not be your fault to lose your job when the economy is not doing well, but it is your responsibility to find a new one and to avoid jobs that are not too resilient in the future.
(2) You determine your own value! 🌸
If you want to become a high value woman, you need to become the only person who determines your own value. A high value woman does not allow something or someone outside of herself to set and dictate her worth…not her family, nor her friends, nor her partner or even society. A high value woman is absolutely immune to other people’s inputs when it comes to her value.
This is very important to understand.
Most of the time, these opinions depend on people’s emotional state too, their insecurities, and their ego and so are biased and unstable by nature. That is why nobody’s opinion can become the basis of a high value woman’s value. She realizes that people ( including her romantic partner), will always have different opinions about you .
If you think about it deeply, you very rarely receive unbiased opinions and advice that are meant to help you grow and improve yourself. You probably heard stories of amazing women, who looked happy and fulfilled before getting with someone, only to lose all their spark and joy and became so miserable being in a relationship. Often it is because their partner planted the seeds of low value in their minds and they were receptive to it. A high value woman will never allow this to happen.
(3) Abundance, not scarcity mindset 🌸
A high value woman does not see the glass half empty, she always sees it half full. She believes there are enough men out there for her not to be panicking if it does not work out with one of them.
She believes in her ability to always attract good people into her life so she does not need to retain those who want to leave her life.
(4) Complementarity, Not competition mindset 🌸
A high value woman is not looking to compete with a man, but rather to complement him. When a woman tries to compete with her man, she is usually insecure and wants to prove something to herself, to him, and to the world. Self-assured women don’t need to prove anything.
They are in the relationship to offer something and work as a team. She separates herself and her worth from any external inputs.
Being a high value woman is 90 % of how you feel about yourself (which is predicted and determined by your mindset aka your inner self) and only 10 % of how you communicate it to the world through your actions, your body language, and how you treat yourself, your apperence (aka your outer-self).
The question is are you ready to change your life for the better? Start now we only got less than a month left in 2021.
Want to see more posts like these @miss-femme-fatale
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I’m back with the second lesson in my high maintenance series!
Today ill be talking about appearing more high maintenance, I did a lot of research on this because apparently wanting to look your best isn’t a thing everyone wants to do…
Anyways as I was saying I have done plenty of research and I’m here to bring you guys ,what I believe is a solid list￼. I’ve applied it to my everyday life and I feel my confidence shoot up!
Without further ado✨✨✨
1. You need to get a beauty routine together!
Looking good means feeling good and that means you should create a beauty routine that suits your individual needs. Whether it be, having a Sunday soak in the bath, your favorite hair mask, or just making sure you shave your legs, create a routine that you keep constant that makes you feel good!
2. Develop a signature makeup style/Practice makeup!
I personally believe makeup really does enhance your natural features. It honestly doesn’t matter if you do glamorous every day or a natural look, as long as you have some sort of makeup look that you can use as a go to you’re set! ￼ Now you don’t HAVE to put on makeup if you’re just walking your dog, or going to get groceries if you don’t want to! However I say Why the hell not? You’re the main character in your life! Be ✨Glamorous ✨ at every turn!
3. Clothing should be fit to your body type and kept clean!
If those jeans have a gap in the back why don’t you go get them Tailored? Having clothes that fit you to a T not only make you feel good, but you also look 100%￼￼. Figure out your body shape and try to dress accordingly!
4. Shoes should be always made to match your outfit !
Honestly any type of shoes can make you feel and look high maintenance! However I honestly recommend walking in heels! I always think of how elegant and poised I look in heels! Trust me I understand , it maybe hard but practice. I literally will put on my heels while doing house work just to practice. You never have to go to that extreme but practice makes perfect! If heels are not your thing, you can always wear ballerina flats, booties, boots, or some cute sneakers! Your choice so reflect yourself!
5. Nails should be kept neat and clean!
Let’s all face it, nails are one of the first things people really do look at! They should always be clean of dirt, cut down, and cuticles push back! If you can afford it go to the salon and get a tasteful set. I personally don’t not like super long, however do what makes you happy!! Keep them clean though!
6. Skin care should be a must!
As a licensed aesthetician I have learned that skin care is one of the foundations of having a good beauty routine. You don’t always have to go expensive with your skin care products. The ordinary has some great products that aren’t going to break your bank. You should always identify what your skin type is and then work accordingly. Also remember to drink water and try to cut out dairy and refined sugars! It clears up skin!
7. Hair shouldn’t look like a birds nest 🙄
I get it, sometimes you wake up late and you can’t figure out what to do with your hair. As long as you do not leave it as a Birdsnest or leave it super messy, and try to at least smooth it down take care of flyaways You’re set! If you can afford it, try to go to the hair salon every 2-3weeks! Look up hair care that you can do at home and sleep on a satin pillow case!
8. Accessories are a MUST!!!
Even if it’s a simple necklace, a couple rings, or your favorite pair of earrings, try to have an accessory to compliment whatever you’re wearing! I always think that diamond studs go with absolutely anything. Even a nice little statement necklace will bring it all together, shit throw on some bracelets and shake your wrist all day! I just know one thing, accessories help make the outfit!
9. Find your signature scent!
I absolutely love perfume! That doesn’t just stand with expensive perfumes, target has some bomb ass perfumes! When you establish your signature scent I would suggest doing something that makes you feel sexy￼! My personal choice? light blue in the warmer months. Libre intense for the colder months. I would definitely say try the $30 samples before you buy a large bottle! Or definitely go to Bath and Bodyworks, Victoria’s Secret, and target and try to find a scent! Target really does have some great perfumes and they’re not expensive at all!!
10. Don’t be a mean bitch/evil witch 🧙🏾♀️
No I didn’t say you can’t be a bitch, I think a certain amount of bitchiness is very sexy. ￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼However, don’t just be rude for no damn reason. Instead of telling your friend that her top is ugly, suggest something else and tell her I think this better suits you. Don’t make fun of other peoples style. Overall, just don’t be ugly. Because no matter how pretty and maintained you are on the outside, if you’re ugly inside, you’re ugly on the outside NO EXCUSES!
Looking high maintenance should not be a chore, it should be a daily occurrence that you weave and drill into your mind. This doesn’t mean you can’t have off days (lord knows I do) but getting pretty always makes me feel better!
Thank you so much for reading my little lesson!
I have many more to come
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i refuse to lower my standards. i know what i deserve and accepting less than that is just disrespecting myself.
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Imagine investing in yourself, not giving up, staying committed and following your dreams....and it works out for the rest of your life.
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Black women in luxury
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Advice your mother should’ve given you.
Stick by your word and stand firm with your boundaries. Don’t allow people to poke, probe, and push your limits, boundaries, and no zones after you told them not to. Don’t be fooled, all people need is one warning to get the memo that something is off limits, but no one will respect a person who is all talk and no action. Put action behind your words, no one will take your words seriously if you don’t, empty threats get you nowhere. People only continue trying you when they know/think they can get away with it. Say it with me, first times a warning, second times a done deal. Don’t disrespect yourself by going against your boundaries and personal code.
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How I Increased My Confidence to the Point Where I Can’t Stop Looking at Myself in the Mirror!!
1. When I felt bad about myself, I would sit in front of a folded mirror in the dark for 5-10 minutes at a time. I felt so self conscious about my reflection staring at me from 3 angles that I felt exposed. I realized it’s not me who feels bad about myself, it’s the others who feel negatively about themselves to the point that they’re inflicting their self hatred on me!
My mood and self esteem level changed instantly! I couldn’t believe it. From middle school to my junior year in high school, I didn’t hate myself, it was other’s energy!
2. Don’t ever care about the negative comments or backhanded compliments others say to you directly/indirectly. Literally, ignore it unless you’re being threatened. I laugh at anything anyone says at me. At the same time, don’t allow anyone to talk about you and you take it.
“If they can dish it out, they can take it.”
You’re too pretty to insult yourself and pick out flaws about yourself. You’re too pretty to waste your energy and eyesight on picking out flaws on others. They’re them and you’re you.
3. Unlearn stage fright and the feeling of being cornered. For my graduation practice, I walked in the field in my favorite fitted dress, waist ⌛️⏳ (I had on a waist trainer but no one could tell) and the vintage Louis Vuitton bag I just bought. They people I had issues with kept staring at me to antagonize me or to get me to look down/away but I really, really didn’t care.
My waist captured everyone’s attention and I was going to go have fun afterwards while they rushed to work and gawked at me.
(My graduating class really thought I got my waist done 🤣)
I didn’t appear as and really wasn’t the same meek girl they saw before the pandemic shut everything down. Know that you’re better than whatever others are giving out.
You don’t have to prove anything or have a revenge “‘“glow up’”” on anyone.
4. Never stop learning about how to improve yourself. I discovered femininity when the change happened and it was a life transformation. Wake up earlier and have a healthy drink or meal. Watch makeup tutorials and hacks while walking on the treadmill. Find out your personal style and measurements.
5. Think about your confidence this way. Your self esteem levels are like a dimmer switch. The more you notice how attractive and lovable you are, the higher the switch goes up or more the knob turns. You see your inner & outer beauty even more as the brightness increases.
Now, I’m pretty euphoric and I keep a mirror on my nightstand. I’ve had to hide mirrors from myself and buy more to place in my surroundings!!
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You literally dont need anyone. Go out and get a coffee and dessert and sit by yourself. Go out to a high end store and buy yourself something nice. Stop waiting until you have a group of “friends” to have fun. Take time to explore what you like and don’t. In the end you are your own best friend forever. Be kind to yourself and go live your best life 💗🏹.
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Don’t let anyone diminish your self worth.
You’re a fucking queen! Proceed as such
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my love language is spoiling myself
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Pampering myself is so magical. Pedicures, manicures, face masks, bubble baths, warm drinks, sleeping early, amazing food. I have it all.
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Being more organized and making your space pretty can inspire you to WANT to level up. When you are surrounded by beautiful things, you tend to want to do more! Always keep your space clean, keep pretty things that will push you to start on the goals you have for the day/week, and make your environment gorgeous!
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✨Lux besties on Vacation✨
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