as a Canadian I can say that we aren’t the sweet, innocent the kid for say, we are like that white highschool girl who seems nice but talks crap behind everyone else’s backs
I don’t know when I edited this or took this but here ya go
Warnings: Alice’s back story, mentation talk, parent instilling fear of sex, a little forcefulness, ridicule.
Notes: dream board is my creation, but some pictures are curtesy of @Billofourtime and Tim Richardson for Número Art (2019).
Alice fell asleep the day she kicked William out of the house for in her mind being disrespectful and sex crazed even though he didn’t even ask for sex. It wasn’t Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday so it just wasn’t right to feel needy for his touch. It was never right to feel like she needed him close. Besides she had the curse to deal with which made her a disgusting human being to all men.
These were thoughts instilled in her at nine-years-old when her mother decided to tell her about the disgusting dreaded curse all women have to deal with each month sooner or later. She went into explicit detail about her own issues when she started at nine-years-old. Being so young and already developing large breasts for her age made her a target for, as she put it, deserved ridicule. Because she had bigger breast than anyone in her grade, she would hear her classmates and even some other adults whisper, slut, as she walked by trying to hide her shape from the world.
Her own father couldn’t even look at her. Her mother, Alice’s grandmother, said it was all due to the curse. And she instilled this in Alice. “You always sit up straight Alice, crossing your legs at the ankle,” Her mom employed. “Don’t look at men directly. They will just think you want sex. And you don’t want it. When you marry you let him have sex with you laying on your back only. And only once a week. Maybe more if he seems uncomfortable or grouchy. He might want to do other disgusting things, but you won’t have it. You’re a good girl. You don’t need desires. That’s a disgusting word even. If you end up with a guy so sex crazed, he can’t handle the rules you live by he can take care of himself in the bathroom. They can do just fine with that sweetie. Don’t let them say otherwise. They can be disgusting creature. But sometimes the heart gets in the way of a female’s better judgement.” She sighed heavily. “Just be a good girl and you will be happy. I promise.”
Alice was a late bloomer unlike her mother. She didn’t start getting “the curse” until she was six-teen. Even with all the talk of being a good girl from her mother, her mother took her straight to the gynecologist to put her on birth control. With what her mother witnessed on television and in society in general she would never believe her daughter wasn’t thinking about having sex and would have sex as soon as a guy got her in the back seat of his car. Alice was beautiful after all wither long dark blond hair that she started dying lighter blonde when she was fourteen. And she had big ocean blue eyes.
Boys in school started to notice her eyes in Jr. high. Her figure was average. But her eyes just got everyone’s attention when she did look up. Usually she would look down so no boys would think she wanted sex. She would hangout with her girlfriends at the local pizza place after a school sporting event and they would invite boys, but she barely spoke a word to them. That was until the first boy she friended, Roger. He seemed not to mind she didn’t look at him when he talked to her. He just figured she was really shy. After a few weekends of going out in groups with friends he asked if she would meet him at the library to help him with an English paper.
“I really suck at coming up with topics, Alice,” He claimed. “And your really good at this stuff, so will help a guy out?”
That’s the first time she actually looked up at him for a few seconds. Her heart pounded. She hurried to look away not wanting to tease him since boys always hate that and it gave them rights to you according to her Mother of course. She blushed but shook her head yes that she would meet him.
He smiled, “You have beautiful blue eyes, Alice. You should look up, so I get to see them more.”
She was scared as her hormones toook over long enough to look up at him again. She didn’t even care at that moment what he wanted. He seemed so sincere. His smile so adorable. He wasn’t one of the boys that ever got in trouble. Everyone at the school loved him as far as she knew. His black wavy hair was shiny. His dazzling brown eyes made her forget what was drilled into her head in that moment. It was a whole new feeling of wonder.
When her mom picked her and her two girl friends up from pizza, she noticed a different kind of giddiness in her daughter. She also heard her friend Molly mention the name Roger and making kissy faces at her as her daughter giggled uncontrollably. When her friends were dropped off her mother confronted her with suspicion.
“Are whoring around Alice?” She said bluntly.
“No Mom,” She shook her head emphatically. “I was just with friends. We all chatted and had pizza.”
“Were there boys there?” She asked.
“Yes, and lots of girls and just friends talking,” She rushed her words.
“I see, so you were talking to boys and thinking about having sex with them, weren’t you?” She smirked.
Alice gasped “I wouldn’t Mom. I would never do something so disgusting or look or anything bad. I’m a good girl.”
“If you say so Alice but right now, I’m now sure you are cable of having control of yourself.” She took a deep breath pulling into the driveway. “I think that was the last night out with those girls you think of as friends. They put you at danger Alice.” She got out of the car and when inside.
Alice cried herself to sleep that night but ultimately thought her mother knew best.
The next day at school caution was thrown out the winder when Roger said, “Good morning, Alice. Do I get to see your eyes today?”
She looked up at him with a smile, “Good morning Roger.”
He took a step back, hand on his heart, “Oh the eyes and a smile. Your going to destroy me, Princess.”
She giggled. Roger chuckled. He carried her books to class. He wasn’t an extremely tall boy. Only maybe five foot eight. So, when she looked at him which she was getting used to now, she barely had to look up. He borrowed a pencil from her in English. When he went to grab it, he brushed his hand over hers not thinking anything of it really. He just wanted to feel her skin on his just for a split second. She froze. Her face flushed. Her chest heaved with breath. A jolt of electricity swept through her body with a dash of guilt perhaps.
Roger tilted his head, ‘Are you alright Alice?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” She liked the new feeling.
She didn’t fear it. She wanted to embrace all the butterflies in her stomach. She wondered if he was feeling anything like this. She wondered if he loved her or could love her or if she loved him? She wouldn’t dare tell a soul what she was thinking. These had to be the slutty thoughts her mother warned her about. But they didn’t feel dirty or bad. They felt good. She even felt a something unexplainable to her at the time down lower than the butterflies. That couldn’t be good, could it?
Roger reach for her hand as she got up to head to thier next class. She nervously took it. It felt nice. A lot of people were smiling and seemed happy for her and Roger walking down the hall together. She felt happier than she had ever felt in her life.
Alice had her mother drop her off at the library the next Saturday. She had the same paper to work on that Roger did, so it wasn’t a lie when she told her mom, “I need to do research for an English paper.”
Her mother dropped her off planning to pick her up when the library closed. She was doing her paper on medieval fairs and how they mimicked literature. She didn’t see Roger, so she looked up where most of the books on medieval practices were. She would use family photos and memories of fairs she had been for comparison.
Roger came up behind her whispering in her ear, “I got us a private study room. My books are already there.”
She was startled. Her heart rate shot up. She turned pushing herself against the bookcase away from him. A frightened look on her face. He made a pleasant innocent smile as he stepped back.
“I’m sorry if I frightened you Alice,” Roger whispered. “I just think we can talk about our projects more in a private room. We can’t talk at the open tables. I got some books on Romeo and Juliet and the original play. I was going to compare it to modern day love. Do you think that is a good subject to discuss in private,” His face moved in closer, “love?”
Her nether regents were tingling. Her body shook a little bit in warning. She didn’t listen to her body. She grabs some books for her project and followed him to the private room. She sat down. Roger sat right beside her. He read over the cliff notes version of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet as she perused a thick book on medieval romance. He took her hand in his as he read. She smiled at him. He kept reading but knew she was looking.
He finished reading the cliff notes before looking over to her. By that time, she was back to reading and taking notes from her thick book. “What do you think?” He rubbed his thumb over her hand.
She looks up from her book, “About what, Roger?”
The grin on his face made her stomach do flips. He moved quicker than she could reason. His free hand undoing her jeans feeling his way down as he kisses her deep. His tongue pushing through her tightly closed lips to stick practically down her throat in her recollection. She pushed him back as hard as she could slapping him across the face when she got free. She grabbed her notes and ran out of the room straight out of the door of the library. Her pants still undone until she got outside and did them back up.
The only reason she got free is he didn’t expect a fight from her. Some of the other shy girls he “studied with” weren’t exactly shy when he had them alone. He was in shock. The slap completely throwing him off guard. Fucking ice Queen bitch, he mumbled to himself before getting back to work on his paper. He actually planned to finish it. He just thought a little impromptu make-out session in the library would be fun for them both. He was wrong.
When she saw him come out a few hours later she hid so he didn’t see her still crying. She went back inside for the last half hour the library was open. After checking out the books she still needed for her paper, she went in the restroom to freshen up as best she could. She couldn’t have her mom knowing what happened. She didn’t want anyone to know what happened. But in her mind, she was already tainted. And by Monday morning she was The Ice Queen, Bitch or Slut tease. Just as her Mom predicted, she let her hormones take over her better judgement and became the school whore. Even though she did nothing wrong. In her eyes it was her fault for looking at him in the first time.
Whether you’re in high school, college, grad school, technical school… you have a right to be upset. The final years of your education, the celebrating, the dances, the memories were all stolen from you. Yes, what’s happening is terrible. Yes, everyone is suffering. But you’re not selfish for crying, for getting angry, for wondering why it had to be you. It’s okay to not be okay.
WHAT THE FUCC MY CLASSES THEYRE SO MESSED UP
IM CLASS OF 2020 FUCC
MY TRANSCRIPTS, CREDITS, AND OVERALL GPA ARE FUCCED
So I know I did this already but it’s been a minute and I’m finally a bit more active on here so I wanted to do more of an in-depth version of who I am!
Grade: Senior in high school (12)
The college I’m going to: University of Arkansas
Intended major: Education and history
Intended minor: archaeology
What I want to do: I want to be a secondary or post-secondary history teacher
Classes I can help with: AP Lang, AP World History, AP Psychology, APUSH, AP Human Geography, (basically English and history classes)
Plan for my blog: I’m planning on posting original stuff about 3x a week that isn’t just a running thing that I’m doing (e.x: 100 days of productivity which I’m about to restart)
Requests: If you have something you want me to talk about or help you with please let me know!! I do have a Patreon (link in bio) if you want me to help you with a specific class/topic (like a study session together kind of thing) or if you just want to request certain things please, please do I love hearing from y’all!
I love y’all! Have a fantastic day!!
Today was mostly a day of meetings. I mean, I had my classes in the morning like usual, but then I had three meetings in a row: a team meeting, a chat with Mrs. T about our interdisciplinary fabulousness, and a union board meeting. The first was short, the second was productive, the third was eye-opening because this remote learning life is very different at different levels of education (like, I can’t imagine how I’d do stuff for, say, first graders… not that I can imagine teaching first grade in normal circumstances either). It was important to hear that firsthand.
Funny thing about my classes, though: my World students are really good at following the school’s schedule and checking in at the start of their class time (9:00AM), so this morning I panicked because only a handful were checking in. Like, I was wondering what I’d done wrong, if something had happened, if the Internet was out in certain parts of the district… and then I realized it was only 8:30, and the students who’d already checked in were ahead of schedule…
After that, everything was fine. Kids did their work, I fielded some questions via email and chat, and it all went pretty smoothly. I also got two really amazing messages about halfway through the day from APUSGOV students who’d just been accepted to their dream schools, and wanted to say thanks because I’d written them letters of recommendation, and bwaaaaah.
They’re looking toward the future. They’ve got tremendous hopes and dreams. And that… is the best.
Okay I’m a sophomore right now so it won’t be for a bit, but if I don’t get to do Legally Blonde for my senior year musical, I might scream honestly.
Even though I didn’t follow through with all 4 years of high school Spanish I do want to thank my high school Spanish teachers for giving me Selena…
She is an excellent performer, singer, and role model
I love her story and it’s tragic how young she left us
But I never want to forget her and everything her music has inspired…
do you ever get that one music stand
that one fucking stand
the loose one that tips over and somehow launches your music into the fucking sun
Such a productive day! I did everything I planned to do for the day.
🌊 Completed all tasks
🌊 Submitted the essay assignment
🌊 Did a questionnaire for Linguistics
🌊 Spent 2 hours outside with my dogs
Incompetence is his best quality . Please remember al of this during the upcoming elections. We cannot afford to be fooled again. Trump could get us all killed
Title: Just the Same
Word Count: 68,066
Something is seriously up with the captain of the lacrosse team. There’s just no way Derek Hale is human.
“I was wondering if you’re even human. You move so quickly. I mean, it’s ridiculously fast. No human should be able to move that fast, y'know? It’s unfair for us. I mean, it’s obvious you work out, and I don’t, so that could be why, but like…I was just wondering if you were human, that’s all.”
“Stop talking, Stilinski, or I'll—”
“Put me on the bench all season?” Stiles asks knowing full well that Derek Hale can’t threaten him with shit.
when my teachers write nice comments on my school work:
Summary: After you accidentally bumped into Kuroo and never gave him your name, he had been desperately searching for you…oh and the boys had been nagging him that they have no pretty manager like the other clubs
In his third year in Nekoma, Kuroo realized for the first time how frustratingly large the school gound was. Who knew that they had so many classes in the school? Or that they had so many students? Sure, this was Tokyo, but Nekoma was one school in Tokyo. He always paid attention to the pretty girls, he flirted with many and never – since he had developed his confidence and charm – he had trouble to get a girl’s name or discover what class she was in.
You were an exception.
Who would have thought that such a pretty girl was so unnoticed? He should have paid more attention to your friend, he was sure he heard you say her name, but he was too focused on you. He spent his breaks walking through the halls of the school and developing a tactic, analyzing the results. It was as if he was patrolling in search of some criminal. When in fact, it was just a girl, you weren’t all the special, were you?
Olár, amores mio! Eis que estou aqui novamente para falar do episódio 2 do High School. Para quem não leu os meus posts anteriores, eu perdi a minha conta veterana de AD e decidi começar tudo de novo e fazer análises dos episódios agora que estou mais velha. Minha opinião do episódio 1 está AQUI, para quem quiser ler.
E aproveito para dizer que esse episódio não foi melhor que o episódio anterior, acho que foi até mais absurdo. As missões eram ridículas que davam diálogos ainda piores. Desculpem a sinceridade, mas parece que o roteiro do jogo foi uma fanfic escrita por uma adolescente de 12 anos que nunca mudou de escola ou que não tem o menor senso social.
A garota é nova na escola, lembrando que esse episódio é continuação do anterior, ou seja, o primeiro dia da Docete, mas ela já está reclamando da Ambre com os rapazes como se fossem amigos íntimos há anos e as provocações da Ambre durassem há tempos.
Depois tem as missões dos clubes e pedir para um dos rapazes levá-la até lá, o que também é muito ridículo, porque é óbvio que o clube de basquete é no ginásio e o de jardinagem é no jardim.
Depois tem o Nathaniel que já a manda fazer um trabalho que, primeiro, é a função dele, e segundo para uma pessoa que ela não tem intimidade, não conhece bem e não é amiga. Tipo, sério, que moral ela tem de exigir alguma coisa do Castiel?
Eu entendo que utilizaram isso como desculpa para a Docete conversar com os dois personagens, mas há outras formas de fazer isso do que colocá-la no meio de uma briguinha infantil entre o Cas e o Nath, e novamente foram diálogos que não permitiu neutralidade e foram muito banais e superficiais, que repito, me deu a impressão de estar lendo uma fanfic de uma criança. Completamente fora da realidade.
Daí vem os trajes… Eu sei que o jogo é de 2011, mas as opções de roupas não eram moda nem naquela época. São umas roupas muito feias. As roupas do episódio 1 pelo menos eram neutras, peças curingas que dá para montar alguma coisa com outras peças, mas essas do episódio 2, amadas, não dá!
Novamente é um episódio que me faria desistir do jogo se eu não soubesse que vai melhorar no futuro. Talvez seja por isso que dão a opção de começar pelo UL ou pelo LL, porque sabem que a qualidade aumentou muito e não quer que ninguém mais jogue esses episódios velhos e se torture como eu estou fazendo comigo mesma.
Outro episódio que receberá nota 1. Estou curiosa para ver quando a qualidade começará a melhorar. Para finalizar, vamos aos dados técnicos do capítulo:
Data que joguei: 20/03/2020
PA inicial: 329
Gold inicial: 174
PA final: 205
Gold Final: 153
Gastos totais: 124 PA/21G
É isso aí. Beijinhos de megawatts de luz! <3
My “Not like Other Girls” Phase
Just watched the video by Strange Aeons on YouTube and it made me think of my own phase of uniqueness and trying to be different when I was younger.
I wasn’t really different from most girls growing up, as we all know by now phrases like Tom boy and Horse girl aren’t that uniquely applied younger girls trying to fine their image. I would say up until middle school I was a normal little girl that didn’t think about what girls should wear and what girls should be doing and my parents didn’t enforce that stuff. It was in middle school that other girls began doing the whole traditional women role thing and started hanging out with more girls and learning about how women should present themselves etc etc. From what I can remember I was pretty oblivious to that stuff until I started getting bullied for “dressing like a boy” and “having a boy voice”. In reality I liked to play outside so I never wore my nice pink stuff to school, I’d wear my dad’s t-shirts and regular shorts, and my voice was just naturally getting deeper.
What always fucked me up though is, as I grew older and even to this day, I tried really hard to fit in. Emo was a growing trend so I wore eyeliner and hot topic clothes, girls called me ugly and weird. I wore “traditional” tween fashion and they called me fat and weird. Then I gave up and just wore whatever was clean and fit, and the other girls called me drug dealer and weird. I never fit in anywhere. It’s not until now that I’ve learned to just pretend to be whatever a certain group needs me to be so I can get by unnoticed or actually succeed without people pulling me down.
These days there are “weirdos” who work with me who make fun of how much makeup I wear or how “we’ll I dress” even though it’s just work. Meh, I like the way I look and I like that other people don’t see anything strange at first glance. It’s hard when people do find out I’m a complete weirdo but I just have to deal with it.
Peep me locking myself in the bathroom for an hour pretending that i’m constipated just so i can have the teeniest bit of space/alone time to finish my assignments.