#his face looks kinda weird but i can cope

[mochinomnoms]

I'm curious about the dreams Idia was having about the reader.

(reference to this)

nsfw under read-more, minors DNI!

It's quite silly, really. Idia was never one to yearn for the touch, closeness, the affections of a person. He was fine, being alone. It was better this way. He could cope with his games and shows, online groups and friends filling the void. Besides, why would he want to drag another person into the Shroud curse? It already took one person from him, Idia couldn't stand doing it to another as long as it was up to him. Plus, he wasn't exactly prime boyfriend, let alone husband material (perhaps he did that intentionally).

So, Idia wasn't all too worried when he first started becoming friends with you. You were kinda weird, but a friend to introverts like him! Somehow always a wallflower, but always involved in the chaos of overblots and school. But, you were conscientious of his need for space and privacy; Ortho must have said something to you about his eating habits, cause you started bringing food other than chips, soda, and ramen cups for him to eat, like actual meals. You also liked to entertain Ortho, who liked when you drew silly designs on his plating, which is always a plus in Idia's book. You were sweet, like his favorite ramune soda. Despite having abysmal skills in gaming (which he was all too happy to make fun of you for) he liked having you as his support, watching him on the sidelines and being a cute cheerleader. In exchange, Idia lent you an old gaming computer and bullied tutored you in a few of his favorite games so you could be his squishy healer in raids.

But, he was a bit worried when he started feeling something more than platonic things for you. Then, he was exceptionally concerned when, at the first day of spring, Idia started coughing hydrangeas, which he managed to secretly keep under wraps from Ortho for a few weeks. No, he was downright mortified when, during those few weeks, night after night, he started having dreams of you.

They started off innocent at first: you on his lap, head on his shoulder, as he played the latest RPG. You murmured words of encouragement, sleepily nuzzling your head into his. Another, he was in the board game club, where you cheered him on as he won a match against Azul in some luck-based game. Idia remembers giving Azul a smug smirk as you threw your arms around him and pressed kisses into his cheek. He even faintly remembers one where you simply sat with him in class, fingers lacing through his in comfort as he dealt with the anxiety of being out and about.

It wasn't until he was a week in when the dreams, infested with hydrangea bouquets always at the corner of his eye, that he knew he was utterly screwed beyond belief.

It started off sweet, at first. This time, you were with him at Styx, though you looked a few years older and were wearing a similar uniform to his mother. He was wearing the uniform as well, though it more closely resembled his father's. He was now Styx head, and you, his precious little wife. The domestic stuff was fine, it made his heart rate spike up so much that Ortho questioned if he had a nightmare while sleeping, but it was fine he could deal. You did look cute… as you smiled up at him… leaned up to kiss his cheek… and whisper in his ear…

“Idiaaa~ What if I crawled under your desk and sucked you off? Do you think you could stay quiet? You can, can't you? For me~”

It was fuzzy, when he tried to remember it, but Idia remembers the heat pooling in his belly. Your hands trailing down his chest down to his hips. Your lips following after and pressing soft, slow kisses down and down until—

Idia's flames grew into a burning, hot pink as his face is in his hands the following morning. He'd actually gone to bed at a reasonable time (to him anyway, 3 am was reasonable), and woke up with that in his head? How was he supposed to function? How was he supposed to look at you, talk with you, when the last memory he had was a dream of you sucking him off???

It progressively got worse from there. It was a weird mix of erotically domestic scenarios. You, waking up to him in bed before work, riding him as you cooed sweet words. Another of the two of you heavy petting, his hands groping your ass as you curled your body into his, making out in his office before Idia had to run off to a meeting, leaving you pouting and telling him to, “Hurry back to your needy little wifey~” One of you cooking him breakfast in one of his shirts, before he bent you over the kitchen counter, after which you sat on his lap and hand fed him.

The last one that really freaked him out, which led to him further isolating himself until Ortho dragged him out to the nurse, was one where he woke up to you next to him in bed. You smiled the sweetest smile to him, whispering to Idia how much you loved him, moving over to press a trail of kisses from his lips, to his neck, down his chest and abdomen. Idia was anticipating the same follow-up from his first dream, especially as your hands reached to pull his briefs down before a soft whine, followed by a cry, interrupted you.

He had no clue what to think, as you make a surprised noise, smiling at him, as the following words left your mouth: “The baby's awake, guess we'll have to continue this later, huh?” Dream Idia giggled along with you as the two of you shared a kiss, watching as you rolled off the bed to the bassinet that he was just noticing. He watched as you cooed and murmured soft words to the small, blue-flamed haired baby, reaching their tiny hands for you. But it was the next sentence that bolted him from sleep into a dry sweat:

“Say good morning! Say, 'good morning' to your baba, my darling~”

Idia let out a screech as he flailed out of bed, tangled in his sheets. He was coughing up a storm of hydrangeas when Ortho flew in, panicked and already full of concern for Idia's health. It was then Ortho started insisting that Idia visit the infirmary, much to his chargin.

At least you'd never see him like this… right?

#mochi asks #!nsfw #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #idia shroud x reader #twst idia x reader #idia x reader #idia shroud smut #idias so pathetic #a simp if you will #gonna bully him is what imma do

[taintedcigs]

✦ SOMETHING LIKE THIS | eddie m. x reader ✦

wc: 6.3k+

pairing: eddie munson x f!reader

warnings: nothing rlly, partying, drinking, kissing, fluffy fluff, angsty if u squint!, high mention?, drinking games!!, truth or dare bc im such a cliche <3

summary: a truth or dare game with eddie reveals some truths between the two of you.

authors note: omg i feel like i haven't posted in forever and this so LONGG and if u can guess which show i was heavily inspired by when i wrote the closet scene i will give u thousand of kisses. as usual i kinda hate this and the ending but this took forever to write and idk i just love friends to lovers eddie SOO MUCH. this is proofread but i only read it once so pls ignore any mistakes !! also if u guys enjoyed this pls LEAVE FEEDBACK, come talk to me in asks, requests r open!! ily all sm, mwah, em!

You scoffed as you made your way past the drunken slimy bodies, pushing everyone out of the way until you finally made it into the kitchen, having no idea how Steve had managed to throw a bash this crowded and your head was spinning too much to care now.

Stumbling a bit your feet picked you up toward the drink stand, shaking the empty bottles, you sighed. "Really? All of them?" you huffed annoyed as you turned around, spotting Robin with a bottle in her hand, you smirked.

"Robin! You are my hero." You giggled as you approached her, grabbing the bottle despite her protests as you chugged a huge sip, your face contorting at the taste.

"Jesus, slow down! You're going to get black out drunk again and then complain all day tomorrow." Nancy came up behind Robin as she scoffed, this is what you had been doing all week, and Nancy was starting to get worried but you rolled your eyes at her, while Robin gave her a 'don't say that' look.

"C'mon Nance, let her be. She's got enough on her plate as it is!" Robin made a suggestive look as you took another sip, turning to face her.

Nancy pursed her lips as she shrugged. "And what does that mean?" You asked, knitting your brows together. Robin pointed towards Eddie, and your eyes followed.

He was chugging the beer he had a firm grip on, face contorting as he took more and more sips, your heart dropped to your stomach at the sight, you knew he would be here, yet you couldn't help the tingles that overtook your body when you saw him.

You were so stupid.

"I don't know what you mean." You shrugged your shoulders, lying through your teeth, Eddie had been sort of avoiding you for some time, and now, for a whole week, he was acting as if you didn't exist.

You didn't know why or how, but it was eating away at you.

Spending your days drinking and smoking away your feelings had become a regular habit ever since he had started avoiding you, and Nancy and Robin had started to get worried about your current coping mechanism.

To say you were feeling hurt would be an understatement, you and Eddie were supposed to be friends, best friends even, in the last four years, you had grown close to him, so close that being away from him even for a second hurt.

And now this distance, his cold attitude, not returning any of your calls, and eventually pretending as if you didn't exist, was eating at you, your own insecurities were bubbling up at the surface.

What was so wrong with you that Eddie couldn't even tell it to your face?

"I mean, it is weird, I've never seen the two of you apart for an hour, let alone a week." Robin spoke up, mentally cursing herself for not being able to stop blabbering and Nancy gave her a look, one that meant, 'not the fucking time' and you narrowed your eyes, hurt twinging in your chest.

"Shutting up now?" Robin asked awkwardly, shrugging her shoulders in defense, "I hope." You replied, trying to hide the hurt in your tone.

Your eyes searched for Eddie again, he was now conversing with Argyle and Jonathan, he looked uncomfortable, he could feel your gaze on him and he was doing everything in his willpower to not meet your disappointed eyes, he knew he would soften up the second he saw you.

"I think I have a plan." Nancy muttered to Robin behind you as they quickly left your side, you were too busy to notice anything as you leaned on the wall chugging the bottle again, face feeling numb.

You meant to talk to him, ask him why he was avoiding you, but you were afraid of his answer, what if Eddie didn't want to be your friend anymore?

What if Eddie was going to tell you how much he started hating you and that he never wanted to see your face again?

You would much prefer the distance rather than be shunned by him. You doubted you could handle anything without him by your side.

You knew what you felt for him was far beyond friendship now, but you never could fully admit to it.

For months, Nancy and Robin had been trying to get you to admit to it, but you had always refused, saying the two of you were 'just friends.'

But you knew, and they knew that people who were 'just friends', didn't do what you two did, friends didn't have movie nights where they ended up cuddling each other and falling asleep in each other's arms, sometimes, Eddie would even place a kiss on your forehead when you fell asleep, tucking you in as a grin took over his lips, seeing how peaceful you were.

Friends didn't have dates in Eddie's van, seated in the back as the both of you ashed a joint, wasting away the night before you watched the sunset with him, his childish grin as he told you all of his stupid jokes feeling like a kick in your stomach now.

And you knew, you knew, friends didn't look at each other the same way both of you looked at one another.

So, you were nervous, nervous that you had fucked up the only good thing in your life, nervous of what he might say to you.

But this apparent nervousness was nowhere to be seen when you had drunk this much. Before you knew it, you found your two feet dragging you to his side, unable to take control of yourself, the drunk you had decided that you had enough.

You slid past the drunk bodies standing in the way of Eddie, your fingertips anxiously fiddling with the bottle, you could barely balance yourself, smushing yourself against the wall near him.

"Hi." You intended for your voice to come out soft but your words were slurred, and Eddie almost stilled when he heard it.

His heart was thudding inside of his chest, he knew you would be at Steve's party, but he never thought you would actually talk to him, not when he had been a complete asshole to you for a while now.

His gaze was avoidant, almost as avoidant as he was and your stomach was churning again, and this time it was not the alcohol.

It was all him.

"Hey." His greeting was short, your mouth had dried up, and the drunk version of you didn't have the tolerance you had for the past week.

Your eyes narrowed as you straightened yourself. "Hey? Is that all you have to fucking say?" You almost snapped, you hadn't meant to sound so sharp, the words left your mouth like word vomit, it probably wasn't fair how you spat them at him, but his coldness to you wasn't fair, either.

You knew once you brought the subject to him there was no turning back, you were afraid of the possibility of him never talking to you again but the liquid in your system gave you enough courage to do what you feared, ripping the band-aid off, and you thought maybe, maybe, ending the friendship would cause you less pain than whatever he was supposed to be doing.

"Hello?" He attempted to joke, and if you weren't this stupidly smitten over him, and maybe a bit buzzed, it wouldn't have worked, but it did. All it took for him to soften you up was a stupid joke, causing you to giggle drunkenly, as you leaned into the wall again.

"Really?" You shook your head, "That's the best you got?" You tilted your head to the side, giving him a warm smile, you couldn't help it, it was the most you had talked with him this week, and you were already putty in his hands, you hated him, and you hated the effect he had on you.

He shrugged, it was obvious he felt more comfortable, his eyes not leaving yours. "Made you laugh, didn't I?" you nodded, you didn't mean to get this soft on him this quickly, but you couldn't help it, not when he made you feel at ease this easily.

You hated and loved how everything with Eddie made you feel at ease, feeling safe with him like you could bring your guard down for once.

You huffed, mind more mellow as you eyed him. "Missed this, ya know?" Your words were slurred again, you knew it wasn't the alcohol talking, but at the same time without it, you never would have had the courage.

Eddie's eyes were glossy and riddled with remorse as they gazed into yours, you could sense it, sense that he was feeling guilty, you bit the inside of your cheek when he looked at you like that.

"What?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Missed this-" you pointed between the two of you, "Just missed being with y-you." You couldn't help it when your words were tangled with each other again, it made you scared to admit any of this, while Eddie just gave you a sigh.

"You're drunk?" He questioned. "Again?" If you didn't know how Eddie had been treating you the past week you'd think he was worried about you, considerate even, but the way his actions changed made you doubt his sincerity.

Eddie had been aware of your new coping mechanism, his mouth felt dry when Steve told him how badly you had been taking Eddie's new demeanor.

"Mhm." You hummed, signaling to the bottle as you attempted to chug it again but Eddie shook his head, quickly taking it away from your hands. You gasped as you straightened yourself. "Rude."

"You will get shit faced and have the worst hangover, and I'm sure you'll curse us out for letting you drink that much." He raised his brows to warn you and you pouted at him like a child.

"You sound just like Nancy." You scoffed, biting back the insult you had at the tip of your tongue about how he decided to care about you now, instead settling on making him chuckle, and just with his laugh, you felt a tinge of pride swell in your chest, it was pathetic how desperate you were for him.

"No fun, I'm crossing you out." You whined as you draw an 'X' in the air, with pouty lips and soft eyes, Eddie had a foolish grin on his face when he was comfortable with you again, almost at peace with how your soul embraced his.

He felt like an asshole, and so fucking stupid for the way he acted, but it was the only thing he knew how to do: running away from his feelings.

"Come on, where the hell have you guys been, we've got some drinking games going on!" You were startled by Robin's loud voice, and as turning to face her, you heard Eddie's groans behind you.

"No way." Eddie shook his head and you threw him a puzzled look.

"No?" You furrowed your brows. "But, you love drinking games."

"Yeah, you love drinking games. Don't be a buzzkill, Munson." Robin interrupted, she shot a look at Eddie that made him confused but intrigued, and he couldn't say no when the two of you dragged him to where everyone else was gathered.

You sat down next to him and felt your hazy drunken state get worse, it was as if everything was becoming all too real.

Realizing that the conversation you just had with him meant nothing, not after he had been avoiding you for a week, and now your mind was swirled with the thoughts of what was going to happen when you two finally had 'the talk', anxiety riddling over your body again.

"What game are we playing?" You asked in an attempt to shake off your thoughts, it didn't help when Eddie's gaze landed on you and you could feel your cheeks burning with his gaze alone, causing you to chew on your bottom lip out of nervousness.

"We just played endless rounds of 'Never Have I Ever'" Nancy sighed, almost annoyed.

"Turns out Steve the King is bit of a slut." Robin semi-whispered as Steve gasped, holding his heart to be dramatic.

"Really, Robin?" He furrowed his brows. "Well, it's not my fault you hooked up with the half of—" Robin was interrupted by Eddie's groan.

"C'mon you guys let's just play whatever this is and get on with it." His voice sounded annoyed, you turned to face him, but Eddie was already avoiding your gaze again, he looked nervous, and you wanted to roll your eyes, he was being an asshole, again.

You could feel anger bubbling up inside of your chest, and Robin could feel the tension in the air. "Okayy, truth or dare it is!" Robin interrupted with a nervous giggle.

"I thought we were playing Never Have I Ever-" You were shut up by Robin's shushes.

"Yes and now we switched to Truth or Dare, keep up, sweetheart." You furrowed your brows and giggled, turning to Steve as if to ask what was wrong with Robin, but Steve put his hands up in defense, shrugging.

Something weird was going on and you couldn't put a finger on it, and to be honest, your mind was too fuzzy to figure any of it out, filled both with alcohol and the thoughts of Eddie. Robin grabbed the bottle and spun it around the circle, the anticipation of it made her fiddle in her place, and when it landed on Steve, she groaned.

"Steve! I think you should pick truth, are you a virgin? Oh wait, you are not! Let me spin it again." Robin talked so fast that even Eddie threw her a look, you were usually used to her fast-paced actions but she was giving you a whiplash now.

"Robin, what the hell are you—" Eddie's words were cut short by Robin's shriek.

"Wow! It landed on Eddie, what a surprise." Robin rubbed her hands together almost like a villain in a cartoon.

"So, truth or dare, Eddie? Oh, also you can't say truth because Steve just picked that." Robin hit her hand against her forehead in a fake manner, and you giggled again at her actions, unaware of what was coming next.

"Okaa...ay, dare?" Eddie asked unsurely, and Robin mimicked a thinking face, you had no idea what was coming next, but you doubted anything Robin would dare him to do could fix whatever was going on with Eddie.

"I dare you to..." She paused for a minute.

"Go into that closet and not come out until you and Y/N make out." Robin's words were like a slap on your face, and she had that stupid grin on her face that you wanted to wipe off.

"Excuse me?" The two of you said in unison and you were afraid to look at him now.

"I mean... a dare is a dare." Steve shrugged, and Robin nodded quickly causing you to sigh.

"You are a child, Robin." You threw her a death stare, your mind was still hazy as you began to get up, and Eddie was still where he was sitting, he twisted his rings, an action you knew he did when he was nervous.

"Well, are you just going to wait around all day?" You snapped, not knowing what came over you when you were this drunk.

"You're okay with this?" Eddie's face was almost red as he looked up at you, hating the way a nervous tingle formed in your stomach with how he looked at you.

"It's just a d—dare, let's get it over with." You meant to sound confident but your words came out as a murmur.

"This is so stupid." He scoffed as he followed you into the closet, Robin following up behind the two of you. She locked the door when the two of you entered and she sent you a smirk before she did so, making you scoff.

"I swear I'm going to kill her." You said sharply, turning your back on the door.

When you finally faced Eddie you realized how close he was standing to your face, his tall figure towering over you was enough to make your breath hitch.

"Hi." was all he muttered as he looked down on you, making you realize how much you missed the warmth of his soft gaze and you hated yourself for how enamored you were with him.

"Hi." You managed to let out when you caught your breath, the room felt suffocating, and you could barely swallow the lump in your throat.

The possibility of him kissing you made you want to scream, both from excitement and fear.

"So... we have to kiss?" He said awkwardly, scratching his head, almost as if it were a question and you nodded quickly, knowing he was too nervous to make the first move so you had to take matters into your own hands.

"What's the big deal? It's just a kiss. We've been best friends for years, we can do it." You said, with a nonchalant tone, but the hint of nervousness was still visible.

"Let's just do it!" You announced excitedly, "kiss me, Edward Munson!" Eddie chuckled at that, making you realize how much you had missed that genuine laugh.

"Edward..." He tilted his head, "Really?" He raised a brow, causing you to pout.

"Yeah." You giggled softly, offering him a smile, knowing how much he hated someone saying his full name, he gave you a light chuckle.

“Okay, yeah, I think I deserved that." He attempted to joke, the air still tense but filled with your giggles.

"Let's do this...” Eddie added cooly, his hands at his side as he leaned towards you, licking his lips.

“Why are you licking your lips?” You questioned, making Eddie chuckle, as he stopped leaning in further.

"Should I not?" He raised a brow, "I mean do you want dry lips?” He asked sarcastically and you shook your head chuckling.

"No, no!" You protested, face burning from embarrassment. "Never mind..." You chuckled.

“I didn’t think it was—” Eddie started but you interrupted, “No.. no it’s okay.. I just..” You were a stuttering mess now.

"Let’s do it.. I—I’m ready.” His tone was soft when he spoke, he was less nervous and you nodded frantically.

You started leaning in but then abruptly stopped, making Eddie furrow his brows.

“Do you want tongue? Are you like a tonguer?” You asked, your face was serious and Eddie's eyes widened.

“Am I a what?” Eddie asked baffled as you chuckled, shaking your head.

"Fuck..." You cursed, giggles errupting in your throat from nervousness. "I didn't mean it like that, I just meant—" You were babbling, your heart hammering inside of your chest.

"I mean do you like tongue in kissing? I just— I wouldn’t wanna use tongue if you don’t want to..." You trailed off.

“Let’s just do it!” Eddie exclaimed interrupting as you let out another giggle, your nerves were getting the best of you.

“Yes, sorry. Are you ready?” You asked, weight of anticipation settling heavily in your chest as Eddie nodded, “Yes.. I’m ready.. let’s just do this..” Eddie let out slowly, scratching his head from nervousness as you nodded once again.

You barely moved when he leaned towards you, almost frozen in place you stared at him, stared at the sickly sweet brown of his eyes, stared at his dark hair that messily laid on his forehead, and you couldn't help it when your eyes lowered down to gaze at his lips, adoring the curve of his mouth.

Your gaze was stuck on him in a way that made your eyes glimmer with an array of emotions, not knowing if this would be your first and last kiss with him, trying your best to etch this sight of him into your mind forever, unsure of whether you could ever see him up this close again.

and as if Eddie could read your mind, he realized, he realized the weight of how you were staring at him. With more he studied your face, the connection between the two of you deepened, unraveling what he most wanted. You.

“Fuck— You.. you can’t do that!” He exclaimed, desperately, and you knitted your brows in confusion, “What... what did I do?” Eddie was being ridiculous now.

"Jesus Christ, you can't just do that to me." His face was burning up, he thought maybe, that this dare would be good for him, maybe the best way to get over his feelings was to kiss you for once, but the way your eyes glimmered was enough to make him want to stare at you forever, and he couldn't do that when he was trying to keep his feelings for you bottled up, forever.

Now, he was regretting the dare as he could feel the pressure building and you looked so pretty that Eddie felt his heart sink in his body, if he kissed you, he knew he couldn't contain his feelings for you no longer, he sighed, shaking his head.

“You can't do that thing with your eyes and face!” He exclaimed as you scoffed, “What the hell are you talking about?” You almost yelled, getting frustrated by his stand-offish attitude.

“Okay that’s it.. I— I can’t do it!” He huffed as he reached for the doorknob, struggling with it.

“Let me out guys!” Eddie yelled but Robin just chuckled, “You have to kiss her, you idiot!”

“Let me out of here, Robin!” He yelled louder this time, but instead of Robin answering this time Steve, Nancy, Argyle, Jonathan, and the gathered crowd answered to him, chanting “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” and Eddie rolled his eyes, cursing.

“Oh come on Eddie, let’s just do this! Just one kiss!” You said annoyed, and you felt a bit rejected at how much he wanted to leave.

Eddie turned around to meet your gaze, “No, I’m not gonna fucking kiss you.” His words were bitter and you bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from crying in front of him.

“Eddie we've been best friends for four years! A little kiss isn’t gonna change anything.” The words that left your mouth stung him, it wasn't easy on you but the emphasis on the two of you being best friends and how a kiss wouldn't change a thing between the two of you was the exact reason he was avoiding you.

Eddie knew if you had rejected him, and told him that you didn't reciprocate his feelings, it would eventually lead to the two of you not being friends.

And he couldn't handle that idea, he couldn't handle not being around you. That's why he tried to stay away from you, just so he could contain his feelings for you, at least for a while.

His gaze on you was agonizing, “Stop looking at me like that.” He muttered as you rolled your eyes, and crossed your arms around your chest, annoyed.

“God, will you just kiss me already!” You blurted out, now getting annoyed with him, not being able to comprehend why Eddie was making such a big deal out of this when it was just supposed to be a dare.

"No."

“Why not?” You questioned, eager to know why he had been acting this way, Eddie ran his hands across his hair, ruffling it before he gripped your shoulders to get your attention fully, “Because..." He took a deep breath as he put his trembling hands into his back pockets, he was trying to hold himself back, but he couldn't, not when you looked at him that way.

"Because I don't want to kiss you like this!” He almost snapped, his feelings taking over before his logic could, and you went rigid with his words.

His own reaction was delayed as his eyes widened at his own words, and he was standing close to you, so close, that your breath hitched when he said that. “What.. what does that mean?”  Your head was spinning as Eddie looked down, almost as if he was embarrassed.

“Nothing! I didn’t— I just... That’s not what I fucking meant..” Eddie stuttered over his words, he felt like his desperation had trickled into the very air he was breathing in, his own words suffocating him and your gaze mocking him, he couldn't handle it further as people outside the closet started chanting “Kiss! Kiss!” again.

Eddie scoffed again, “Shit— just, excuse me..” He cursed out as he tried the doorknob again.

“What are you doing?” You asked curiously, you wanted to talk to him now.

“Just need some air” He murmured and tried the door again.

“Robin, just open up!” Eddie yelled out making Robin groan, “Did you kiss her?” Eddie rolled his eyes, and he got ready to curse Robin out but you placed your hands over his mouth, shushing him.

“Yes, yes Robin! We fucking did, we even french kissed! You happy?” You yelled out as Robin giddily chuckled unlocking the door.

You threw her a dead stare as Eddie just brushed past her, hurrying his way out and you followed quickly behind him.

"Eddie, just wait!" You called out after him, you were curious to know what he meant, why he was acting this way, none of it was making sense to you and you were still very buzzed.

"Just leave me the fuck alone, Y/N." He didn't even turn around to face you and it hurt.

"No! I'm not going to fucking run away this time." You yelled, catching up to him, and Eddie turned around swiftly.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, his tone curious and not annoyed like before.

"I'm not playing your stupid game anymore, I don't care if you tell me you hate me, Eddie, just tell me what's wrong, tell me what I did to make you push me away this much. You can insult me and tell me to 'fucking leave' but I won't leave until you tell me to my face what I did to make you push me away, you fucking coward!" You spat out the words, rolling your shoulders as you felt your anger coming out to the surface.

Eddie rubbed his hands against his face, you were asking for him to be vulnerable, and he knew that if he opened up to you, you would probably laugh in his face.

"I just—" He scoffed, "I don't wanna do this. Not right now." He sighed, and he drooped his head, his gaze fixated on the ground now.

"Just tell me what the fuck is wrong, Eddie." You almost yelled, feeling your face hot with anger. "What did you mean by when you said you didn't want to kiss me like this?"

"And why have you been avoiding me, why can't you even look me in the fucking eye right now?" To say you were frustrated would be an understatement, liquid courage had worked a little too well and you were pouring your gut out to him.

You crossed your arms against your chest, feeling your cheeks burning up with anger, you were filled with fury, and nothing Eddie could do was going to change that.

In fact, it made it worse when he kept avoiding his gaze. "Fuck you." You spat out, index finger pointed towards him, hostility written all over your face, your feet picked you up before your mind realized, and you brushed past him as you angrily left his side.

"Just— fucking wait!" His words rang in your ears but you didn't care, you kept walking while Eddie was right behind you.

"Let me just explain!" He yelled out after you. "Jesus— you're fucking fast." He added as he tried to catch up to you.

You stopped in your tracks, and your back was turned to him. "Eddie, just get it over with." You crossed your arms against your chest again, feeling your insides twist as you waited for him to pull the band-aid off.

"What?" He raised his brows in confusion, and you didn't dare to look at him.

"You realized it, didn't you? I mean it took me a while to realize it myself." Your voice was timid, not trusting yourself enough that you wouldn't break down completely in front of him.

"And you realized you didn't reciprocate them, and you're trying to let me off easy by avoiding me." You could feel tears prickling your eyes but you shook your head to make them go away.

"I know you hate confrontation." Your voice was cracking now, and Eddie hated it, he hated being the reason you were about to cry, he hated being the reason you doubted yourself because of him.

"What are you talking about? Reciprocating what?" He didn't dare to turn you to face him, he was still shocked at the possibility of what you were hinting at.

"Feelings, Eddie. My fucking feelings for you!" You turned around to face him now, and his eyes had softened, he blinked slowly to process what you were saying. The air between the two of you was filled with unspoken emotions, your body ridden with anticipation and anxiety.

But Eddie felt stupid, so fucking stupid. He spent this whole week bottling up his feelings for you, and avoiding you to do so because he thought he wasn't good enough for you, he thought you would actually mock him.

He should've known you would never do that, he should've told the insecure voice in his head to shut the fuck up.

Because there you were in front of him, saying exactly what he was feeling, and he felt like the biggest idiot in the world.

"Your... what?" His eyebrows furrowed, and he wanted to laugh, he wanted to laugh at how stupid he was being.

"Just— let's just pretend this never happened." You could barely look at him, nervously fiddling with your fingers.

"Nope." He shook his head.

There was no fucking way he would pretend this had never happened, he had been waiting, for years to tell you how he felt, every night he would give himself a pep talk, encouraging himself to finally open up to you, but when he finally saw you in the morning, and you gave him that warm smile and those doe-eyes, he always backed out, scared of losing you forever.

"No fucking way." He shook his head, and a chuckle escaped his lips.

The look you threw him was filled with disdain, "Oh, so this is funny to you?" You were quick to judge him, turning around and muttering curse words as your feet began to pick up again.

"Jesus Christ, will you let me speak!" He yelled out again and you shook your head, walking faster. Eddie scoffed, "So. Fucking. Stubborn." He muttered under his breath.

He caught up to you once again and this time he reached out to your free hand, and he grabbed it in a tight firm, spinning you around to face him, you were about to cuss him out again, and throw him a death glare, but his gaze was so gentle that you couldn't help it, your eyes were mellow, sickly sweet, as they met his.

Your heart reacted before you could, thumping in your chest. Eddie was leaning so close towards you that you sensed his heavy breathing against your face, you didn't dare to move, not until his tender fingertips brushed against your cheeks, he leaned over so agonizingly slow that you couldn't help but close the gap between the two of you, soft lips clashing with each other as you whimpered the second your mouth met his.

Eddie's chest fizzled with warmness, the smell of your perfume mixed with alcohol dizzying him while your head was still pounding as you were trying to process what was happening, there wasn't enough air in the world for your lungs to pull in.

You deepened the kiss when Eddie's hands slowly cupped your cheeks, parting your lips as his tongue explored yours, shuddering at his touch.

Your brain didn't process any of it, not until the initial shock wore off, that's when you pulled back slightly, catching your breath as you blinked confusedly at him, unable to find the words to speak.

Eddie licked his lips as they twitched to form a smile, speaking up before you could. “In the closet.. when. I said I didn’t wanna kiss you like that... I meant that I wanted something like this..”  He gave you a slight chuckle as you returned it with a warm smile.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted." He gulped, feeling guilty for his actions in the past weeks, but he always poorly reacted to things that involved his feelings.

"I thought if I just stayed away from you, if I just pushed you away for a while, I could bottle up my feelings for you and—"

"You have feelings for me?" You asked, interrupting, eyes widening despite the kiss being undeniable proof of that but you still couldn't believe it, you still couldn't believe that the man you had been in love with was actually reciprocating the feelings you harbored, the feelings you tried so hard to contain inside of you.

"Are you kidding? Of course, I do." Eddie affirmed. "I mean how could I not?" He chuckled, pointing towards you. "Jesus, you're so beautiful, so fucking pretty..." he flashed you a mischievous smile.

"You're nice, and god, so fucking kind that it makes me sick sometimes. And shit— you get along with Wayne so well, I think he thinks of you more as his kid than me at this point." You gave him a light chuckle.

"Also... you are funny sometimes too." He added, giving you a light nudge with his shoulder as you pointed towards yourself mouthing 'Little old me?' sarcastically, making him smile.

"Fuck— if it wasn't for you, I'd be so lost, sweetheart. I'm so glad you came into my life." Your heart warmed at his words, gaze softening as your lips twitched into a smile.

"And you're always fucking there for me... even when I don't deserve it." He nervously fiddled with his fingers, he didn't deserve someone as perfect as you.

"Like right now, even though I've been an asshole, avoiding you, and even more of an asshole in the closet, you still came after me." He looked down, embarrassed that he had pushed you away, he knew you deserved better, so much better.

"You didn't deserve any of it, you just deserve every fucking good thing there is, and I'm just none of those things." You shook your head, opening your mouth to speak but Eddie didn't let you.

"Can you even picture it? You and me together? You— god, you are so fucking perfect." Your heart pounded against your chest, the rhythm of it erratic and suffocating because of his painful words, if only he knew how much you loved him.

"I'm just me, Eddie. I'm fucked up, a 'freak', a fucking drug dealer." Deep lines etched his forehead, he chuckled bitterly, and your heart throbbed at him describing himself as anything but good.

"I guess I just decided I wasn't good enough for you. Fuck— I chickened out." He eyed you nervously, and what he didn't expect was you slapping him on the shoulder, harshly.

"Ow!" He yelped, "Eddie never, ever make decisions on my part ever again." You chided him and he nodded quickly, "Jesus, that hurt."

"Good, because I also don't allow you to speak that way about yourself either, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me Eddie and I mean it. You're not fucked up." You affirmed him.

"God, you really are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Eddie. I don't think I've ever been happier, or more comfortable with anyone but you, you helped me realize so much about myself and have been there with me through everything." You didn't blink once, and Eddie's mouth was agape, he couldn't believe that someone —and not just anyone, you— saw him as anything more than a fuck up.

"I love you, Eddie, and I mean it, I love you so fucking much." You added, your eyes glimmering. "I can't stop thinking about you, ever... and it physically hurt being away from you for just one fucking week."

"I'm sorry for that..." He muttered again, embarrassed. "I love you so fucking much, honey. And I promise I'll never do something as dumb as this again." He gave you a warm smile, and his fingertips were gentle as they grazed over your cheeks.

You tilted your head in hesitation, "Yeah, I doubt it." You giggled, and Eddie squished your cheeks in response.

"God, you're so lucky that you're so pretty and so lucky that I fucked up big time because I will agree with you on whatever you say for the next few days." Eddie's lips formed a smirk and you raised a brow, "I'm thinking for the next month." You pursed your lips sarcastically.

Eddie chuckled and leaned in once again to kiss you, "Whatever my pretty girl wants." He murmured into your lips.

You whimpered again when your lips touched, both of you groaned when you were interrupted by Nancy's voice.

"See, I told you it would work!" Nancy pointed towards to two of you kissing as Robin and Steve almost gasped.

Robin turned to Nancy crossing her arms against her chest all-knowingly, "Yeah but it wasn't working a minute ago when they were yelling at each oth-" Robin's words were cut short by the glare Eddie and you threw at Robin.

"Sorry!" She yelled out, giving a sheepish smile, making you laugh.

"So, this was all you?" You asked, pointing towards Nancy, but before she could answer Robin scoffed.

"As if I didn't put your stubborn asses in that closet!" She mocked. The puzzle pieces of Robin acting weird all night coming to you and Eddie at the same time.

"You guys are all idiots." Eddie huffed, but his smile never faltered, and the three of them knew that was his way of gratitude.

You turned towards them with a sheepish smile on your face mouthing a 'thank you' to Robin and Nancy, and giving Steve a thumbs up, they waved you off as if to say 'No problem', and you turned to Eddie again.

"Eventful night, huh?" He asked, a smirk playing on his lips, and you gave him a playful nudge. "Shut up."

"So... you ready to go home?" Eddie asked as he threw an arm around your shoulder, you nodded, melting into his comfortable hold.

"Mhmm." You hummed, as he pressed a kiss on your hair. "I love you, pretty girl." He murmured.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fics #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #friends to lovers

[doobea]

CHILLY - SAE ITOSHI

synopsis: he has a bad habit of saying things without thinking.

contents: established relationship, gn!reader, sae being stubborn, rin and sae have a healthier sibling relationship, sfw, hurt and comfort, word vomit, kinda proof'd word count: 1.3K a/n: idk i wanted to write a sad sae fic but it ended up being hurt/comfort. turns out he has a weird special place in my heart. also not sure if i like this one or not bc work has got me fk'd up with long train rides back

It's been almost two days since Sae's last conversation with you, but it honestly feels like weeks.

On the first night, the two of you slept with your backs against each other with neither turning around or uttering a word. Sae remembers barely getting any sleep that night because of the heavy sinking feeling in his stomach, and he was positively sure that you were in a similar state. He thinks that he should've slept in the living room to grant you the needed space, and maybe it would've been better the next morning, but Itoshi Sae is a selfish person.

He half expected you to roll into his arms in the middle of the night, apologizing and saying that he was right and you were wrong and that everything would've ended on a good note with a kiss. But you continued facing the wall while he stared at the window.

Sae doesn't want to admit it but he's scared. He feels like he's walking on a tightrope and isn't sure if this fight, out of many, was finally going to be the last.

During the second night, he attempts to start the much-needed conversation. He brings his arms slowly around your waist, fingers almost burning at the touch, but you remain still. At any other given night, he would've thought you were asleep but he knows that you're currently wide awake and as tensed as he is.

Sae swallows the lump forming in his throat and fights off his nerves, "I'm sorry."

You inhale sharply and he swears that he could feel your eyes glaring at the wall in front of you, "Is that it?"

He recoils at the sound of your voice, a voice that he hasn't heard within the past day. He feels like retreating under the covers but stands his ground, the grip on your waist tightening just ever so slightly as he carefully rests his chin on top of your head.

"No," but he struggles to find the rest of his words so he lets go.

You finally turn to face your boyfriend, eyes swelled and reddening from suppressed tears. You keep yourself mute, getting out of bed and exiting out of the room. Sae thinks you were going to rest in the living room but jumps at the sudden loud slam from the front door.

He tells himself he'll get used to the silence.

Two more days pass by and Sae tries to stay out of the shared apartment as much as possible. He only goes home to shower when he gets back from the gym and sleeps in a separate room, hoping that you would take the bed. Outside of the house, he spends his free time at his younger brother's place and, surprisingly, Rin understands the situation without Sae explaining much.

"You're an idiot." Rin flips to the next page of his comic, body sprawled out on his bed.

Sae leans against his brother's bedframe on the floor, "I know."

Another flip and Rin continues, "So go talk to them."

Sae sighs while looking through his camera roll at your photos, "I'm going to."

Rin doesn't glance up from his reading and only hums in response. A silence falls over the brothers but it's a silence that Sae can cope with. A part of him doesn't want to acknowledge it, the fact that he hasn't been speaking about it only makes him fall deeper in denial, but he feels like he needs the time to collect his thoughts or rather lack of them.

Sae slides down and lies on his stomach on the floor, grabbing one of his brother's older horror comics that were lying around. He's never bothered understanding Rin's hobbies and now he understands why. While their parents and friends may say they're similar in many ways, this wasn't one of them.

Their peaceful solitude is soon interrupted by soft rapid knocks from the front door and Rin gets up with a small groan, mumbling something about his delivery arriving late. Sae shrugs, too occupied with trying to understand what was occurring in the comic to care until a familiar voice calls out from the hallway. He feels himself freeze and holds his breath.

"Is Sae here right now?"

"He's in the back." Rin says hesitantly before offering, "Do you want to come in?"

Sae couldn't hear the rest of the conversation from how hard his heart was beating against his chest. He tries to calm down the sudden anxiety but it becomes increasingly difficult when he hears footsteps coming in his direction. Rin steps back into the room with his thumb pointing at the front door.

The younger male throws Sae a look, as if he was telling him to not fuck up, and says, "They're here. You should go."

"Oh," that's all Sae manages before getting up from the floor, suddenly painfully aware of his disheveled look in the bedroom mirror on the way out.

Well, it was too late for that either way. He knew he wasn't going to stall this time, not when you went out of your way to talk to him. Prerecorded words empty from his head as soon he sees your solemn figure against the doorframe.

"Hey." You offer lamely.

"Hi." He cringes at his cracked voice.

"Let's talk outside?"

And he nods.

You both say goodbye to Rin before walking in an aimless direction around the neighborhood. Sae notices you keeping an arm's length away and doesn't push it. He shoves his sweat-covered hands in his pockets, looking at the ground as you begin to talk, ready to hear whether or not you were still his.

"I had to think about this for a while," You begin, thumbs fiddling, "...and you were right."

Sae almost trips over himself, "What?"

You release a long sigh, "I didn't agree with how you handled things but you were right. I should've set clearer boundaries with some of the guys at the party. I didn't mean to make you upset, that wasn't my intention."

Sae finds himself frowning and grabs your hands, forcing you to stop with him, "Don't apologize. I shouldn't have gotten mad and caused that scene." He grimaces at the recent memory of the way he chastised you in front of his teammates and the press.

"Yeah, I know," Your harsh tone made him flinch but he relaxes as your thumbs caress his palms, "but, I'm the bigger idiot for not being comfortable to say no. I promise it won't happen again."

"Just... make sure to delete their numbers." He murmurs.

What happened at the party was unnecessarily mean on his part, considering how Sae didn't bother to pull you aside privately to explain the matter. But, to his defense, he didn't even know he would've felt that jealous in the first place and also didn't expect half of his team to flirt with you.

You silently agree with a squeeze into his hands. Slowly, he takes a step forward, closing the distance and placing a shy finger on your chin, gently lifting it to meet his gaze. Your eyes are laced with vulnerability, matching his own.

Sae pulls you into an embrace, arms wrapping tight around your shoulders as if he was afraid to lose you again. He feels your body hesitate, taking a moment to realize what was going on before mirroring the gesture back tenfold.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, voice barely audible to his surroundings but loud enough for you, "I don't like fighting with you."

You muzzle deep into the croak of his neck, "Me neither."

Sae takes in your scent and closes his eyes. He sighs through his nose in relief at the fact you both are back to what it was before. The way that things should always be. He slouches into your touch as your fingers run through his hair and, the silence that follows after, is one that Sae finally feels comfortable with.

#blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #doobea writing #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae

[mangalho]

Ex-warbot OC

They don’t have names yet.

The two bots with the scary faces were specifically made for war, and now that it’s over, they still maintained their original ‘warface’ even though it has stigma associated to it. Many robots changed their faceplates post-war, as it made it easier to find jobs and not get into unnecessary conflict.

The sleeker looking guy used to be in their company, though he wasn’t made in the same factory as them; he isn’t their ’batch-mate’.

After the war he completely modified his frame, and now has an idol career. He desperately wats to erase his past, as people (and robots alike) will respond better to a ‘new’ and untainted idol.

The two warface bots are “brother and sister” and they do odd jobs here and there to make ends meet and to be able to afford things they want. Rich people hire them as bouncers a lot since they are a symbol of terrible times. Sometimes they earn 15k in one night for just one gig it’s crazy. They both really love clothes since it distances them from their body’s original purpose while simultaneously not erasing their past. Also they look cute and cool!

The idol bot once meets the warfaces by chance in the street and pretends he doesn’t know them AGAHAKALAK I think he’s insane… completely erasing your past and the person you were is psychopathic to me idk. Anyway

There arent a lot of warfaces going around anymore. since they either died during the war or changed their frames. Pre-war bots were re-fitted during the conflicts and just had to go back to their former unweaponized frames after it was all over so they’re fine.  All of these robots can download information and i want that type of learning to mostly disappear if its deleted, but if they learn things like we do or experience real events, those memories and skills can’t really truly be erased; if they do try erasing them, they will still remember them, just not with HD video clarity, which brings them immense suffering sometimes. “How to people live like this?!” Well buddy it sucks idk we all cope

Newly minted robots are wack because they don’t exactly have a ‘soul’ yet they just do things they’re supposed to do, but after some time, all of them actually develop real awareness and shit… my war bots had like a 78% chance of dying everyday when they were activated, but they survived and attained sentience at like one year post birth and they wised up rly fast after that. They remember their first year, but they describe it as a ‘weird haze’

These robots feel pain so they wont like dive into a hole or damage themselves too much. Self preservation means longer-lived machines which means less repair costs and less human lives on the line as well.. slay !!!

While the conflicts went on, most robots achieved sentience and decided to stop fighting so there was like a robots rights movement and eventually the war stopped altogether and now the robots have a salary and a normal life mostly. They arent organics, so they need other things. They are solar powered and need oil sometimes and also they need new nanomachines once in a while like we need vaccines. Get your boosters… its not just tetanus and coronavirus anymore now they gotta think about like..the trojan horse 9000

I want them to have this aversion to organic things dying bc they are universally gross. Like they dont like seeing living-machines die either but a rat being squished by a car is also gross!

There are probably some tensions between humans and robots but like i kinda get it bc i wouldnt mess with a guy who has like lead pipes for arms. also most robots ARE normal but some are insane idk 🙆‍♀️🤷‍♀️ just  like people are.

 mine are normal tho they’re just vibing 💖🗣🤙

#drawans #OC #warface

[stars4ni]

⊹ ࣪ ˖ kissing into the new year

pairing — bsf chan x gn reader ! 🖤

word count — 611

warnings — drinking, cussing, kissing, mention of sex.

genre — slight suggestive, friends to lovers, first kiss.

notes — happy new year loves! currently gushing over chris and i thought you guys would love a new years imagine <3 also needed to cope with being around couples during the holidays:( hope your new year starts off well!

it was 5 minutes until 12. you were having a great night with your friends and especially your best friend chan. he was sitting next to you with his arm around your shoulder. you and your group of friends were at a big party, sitting in the backyard, you honestly didn’t even know who’s house it was. so many fucking people were here, but you were having fun. you looked over at him taking a sip of his wine, you stared at his face. he looked so perfect under the moonlight. so beautiful. “you want some?” he asked. “hmm?” you were startled and confused on what his pretty lips were asking. “do you want some of my wine?” he asked. “oh yeah sure” you said smiling taking the cup from him taking a sip. “ahh ew” you coughed. “this is why i don’t drink, that’s fucking disgusting” you said then took a sip of your soda. chan laughed, “you are so adorable haha” you blushed from his comment. “shut up” you said as you played with the grass that was beneath you.

you two were sitting away from the others, they were very loud and very drunk. you both wanted to be somewhere calm. you looked over at him, he was already looking at you. “i can’t believe it’s almost 2024, this year has felt so long but also so fast” you said. “i know, it’s weird…how many minutes is left till midnight-” he took out his phone from his pocket. “oh! it’s 12 now!” he said as he looked at you. “oh haha we missed the countdown” you said as you looked over to see the group of drunks kissing their partners, you felt low. he noticed the sudden change that you showed. “what’s wrong hm? don’t have anyone to kiss?” he said as he caressed your thigh. you looked up at him, not saying anything. “well i’m here” he said as he looked you in the eyes. he grabbed your chin and pulled you closer, he stopped, smiled, and admired your face. “can i?” he asked. you nodded. he pulled you into a sweet but powerful kiss. and just like that you were kissing your best friend of 4 years. the fireworks going off in the background, with the mix of cheers and music blasting. it was perfect. he tilted his head, getting a better angle of getting into your mouth. you were so happy, finally after years of loving him you were kissing him. no you were making out with him.

practically eating each others faces by now, he placed his hands on your waist pulling you closer. kisses getting sloppier and sloppier. feeling harder to breathe, loosing your breathe. you pulled away, smiling so big. catching your breath. he smiled at you, breathing hard. “wow” you said biting your lip. “fuck this might be kinda crazy but, im in love with you. I have been for years” he said pushing his lips together anxiously. you scooted closer to him, putting your arms around his neck. “i love you too, i’m so in love with you chan, so fucking much, it’s actually crazy” you said smiling cute. “good” he smiled. kissing you again. “happy new year uh…boyfriend?” you asked. “happy new year my love” he said caressing your cheek. you blushed. “no way this is real” you laughed. “oh baby it’s 100% real” he said as he pushed you back on the grass, kissing you. “wanna take this inside?, we can find a empty room…specifically one with a bed” he smirked. “chan…of course i want to” you laughed, you took his hand as he helped you up.

#stars4ni #bang chan fic #bang chan x reader #straykids x reader #straykids imagine #chan x reader #bang chan hard thoughts #bang chan smut #bang chan fluff

[thirstydiglett]

Christmas Sanji!! Directly inspired by me trying to get my dear mother to let me help her with Christmas dinner. Merry Christmas Eve to all my followers who celebrate!!!!

A Helping Hand

Characters: Sanji/f!reader

Summary: The only thing Sanji needs for Christmas is the one thing he won’t ask for—help. Maybe our reader can be the one to change things.

Warnings: none it’s all fluff ^_^

“Excuse me, my darlings.”

Sanji squeezes between you and Robin in the doorway, where you’ve been standing and chatting about books.

“Oh, sorry Sanji!” You blush slightly, realizing you’re in his way. You move to the side to allow the young chef to get through. His hands are full of fresh onions from the pantry, and as he passes several of them tumble from his grasp onto the tile floor below.

“Fucking hell!” Sanji curses to himself, and you frown. Its not unusual for Sanji to curse like a Marine, but in front of two of his precious ladies? Practically unheard of.

You and Robin bend down to help him with the onions, and you notice that she is watching him as carefully as you are. “Sanji, are you alright?” Robin asks gently, placing an onion in his arms.

“Oh, of course, mon amour!” The chef grins as he whirls away, setting the onions on the kitchen counter. “Just a little stressed trying to get everything ready for Christmas. But it’s alright! I don’t mind a little stress if it means you two and Nami have a wonderful time tomorrow!”

Robin gives you a strangely knowing look. “Ok, Sanji. We’ll leave you be then.”

You are hesitant to follow her out of the room. Sanji is your closest friend on the ship, and usually you can read him pretty well, but you have to admit he seems… well, off today. Usually Sanji is in his element in the kitchen, fluid and graceful, his timing and movements perfectly crafted in order to create the perfect meal.

But today…

You shake your head. Sanji is always in control when he cooks, and he’s been excited about the Christmas Day menu for well over a month. You’re sure he just wants to cook, uninterrupted.

Leaving the kitchen with Robin, you can’t help but smile at the decorations that you and your crew have put up. Faux snow lines the corners of the deck, lights and greenery winding around the mast. A brightly glowing star lights the top of the observation room, bathing the deck in a warm light. And of course, Nami’s tangerine trees are decked out with ornaments, wrapped presents (most of them from Sanji to you, Robin and Nami) spilling out from underneath them in all directions. Your first Christmas Eve with the Straw Hats. You can’t wait.

Usopp and Chopper are hanging some lights from the rigging, arguing about whether or not they’re level. You walk over to them.

“Hey, guys?”

Usopp turns around, grinning when he sees you. “Oh, hey y/n! Merry Christmas Eve!”

“Same to you!” You smile briefly. “Hey, you guys have been on this crew way longer than I have. can I ask you a question?”

Chopper nods, so you swallow. “This is kinda weird, but is Sanji… always like this around Christmas?”

Usopp laughs out loud. “Oh, I see you’ve met Christmas Eve Sanji. A little different from the standard model that we all know and love.”

Chopper shakes his head in agreement. “Every year Luffy invites some random crew to spend Christmas with us. This year it’s the Heart pirates, as you know. So Sanji has to cook a special breakfast, lunch and dinner for twice as many people as usual.”

“He won’t admit it, but it definitely freaks him out. You know what a perfectionist he is,” Usopp snorts.

“So why doesn’t someone help him?”

“We try! Every year I try to do something for him, but he always refuses!” Chopper asserts, his frustration at the situation showing on his face. “And then he ends up locking himself in his room as soon as he’s done serving everyone, and we don’t see him for like three days… it’s a pretty unhealthy coping mechanism, but he just shrugs me off when I bring it up and pretends everything is fine.”

“You should try talking to him, y/n,” Usopp suggests casually. “You guys are pretty close, right? Maybe you can convince him to calm down and accept some help.”

A sudden crash from the kitchen made the three of you turn around.

“God dammit Luffy!” Sanji’s voice roars out over the waves. “What the fuck is wrong with you??”

Luffy darts out of the kitchen, giggling to himself, his mouth stuffed full of strips of bacon, dodging plates and silverware that Sanji is throwing after him.

“Thanks for the snack, Sanji!” Luffy laughs as he swallows the bacon, bolting below deck before the chef can inflict any real harm.

You glance back at the kitchen to see Sanji standing in the doorway. He doesn’t look good. Now that you’re really looking at him you can see the dark circles under his eyes, the stubble on his jaw that he’s neglected to shave. Instead of his usual single cigarette, he has two clamped between his teeth. Usually the chef is so put-together, so charming—Usopp and Chopper are right. Christmas really does take a toll on him.

Looking back at your friends, you realize they’re both gazing at you pointedly. “Go talk to him!” Chopper urges, giving you a push.

“Uh… ok…” you’re not really sure what you can do or say, but you walk up to Sanji anyway. He barely seems to notice your presence, preoccupied with running his fingers through his soft blond hair, making mental calculations.

“Luffy giving you some trouble?” You try hesitantly, and Sanji jolts from his reverie.

“Oh, y/n darling! Don’t worry about it. He took all the bacon I was frying for our salads tonight, but—“ his voice breaks slightly— “I should be able to readjust. It’ll still be delicious!” Sanji is drumming his fingers, chewing his lip incessantly. You’re no stranger to anxiety attacks, and you can see his welling up inside him, threatening to take over.

You take his hands softly, forcing him to stop drumming them, looking him in the eyes. “What can I do?”

He freezes, wide-eyed, meeting your gaze. “What?”

“What can I do, Sanji? To help get all this food on the table.”

He swallows hard, then shakes his head. “Absolutely nothing, cherie! Just relax and enjoy yourself. Should I make you a drink?”

“Sanji.”

He is forced to meet your gaze again, and you can tell by his expression that he sees how serious you are.

“I’m going to help you with this whether you want me to or not. You need a break. Tell me what you need me to do.”

Sanji stares at you for a moment. You can see the gears turning in his brain. Finally, a sort of vulnerability creeps into his expression, and he opens his mouth.

“Can you… can you run to store on the island we’re docked at and get another side of bacon? I would do it, but I have to stay here and watch the roast…”

You nod. “You don’t have to give me any excuses. I’ll be back in half an hour.”

Suddenly, Sanji grabs you and pulls you tightly into an embrace. You feel the breath leave your body as you realize how close you are to him. You can feel his heartbeat, smell his cologne, and you’re surprised to find butterflies dancing in your stomach as Sanji holds you, burying his face in your shoulder, barely muffling a sob.

When he pulls away, his eyes are red. “Thank you, y/n,” he murmurs, and smiles at you slightly. The first genuine smile you’ve seen from him all day.

Your bacon run goes well, and you’re back within the half an hour timeframe you promised. Setting the package down on the kitchen counter, you smile at Sanji.

“What else can I do?”

“Oh, y/n-chan!! You’ve done more than enough. Thank you, my love, you’ve saved the day!”

But the worry in his expression and the dozens of pots and pans bubbling away on the stove make you think he’s not being totally honest. Glancing at the tattered notebook on the counter beside you, you see it open to a hand-scrawled recipe—buche de Noël.

“Can I help you with this?”

“Oh, the Christmas cake? I’m afraid I won’t have time to make it this year…” Sanji says softly. “Zeff always made it for Christmas, so I was hoping to as well. But it’s ok. Maybe next year, eh?”

You smile at him. “You have an extra set of hands now. I’ll mix together the dry ingredients while you fry that bacon for the salads. We can do the rest together—what do you think?”

You can see Sanji wrestling with himself in his head. Putting a beautiful lady to work in a kitchen on Christmas Eve can’t be forgivable, but the cake…

Finally, mind made up, Sanji nods.

That afternoon is one of the best you’ve ever had. The two of you work quickly and diligently, but your conversation is lively and several times the two of you are forced to pause because you are laughing so hard. The batter for the cake is made, but not before flour ends up everywhere. Luffy returns for more bacon, and the two of you have to fight him off together (which is exactly as fun as it sounds). Prep work is getting done quickly, the dishes are getting washed, and meals are getting made—and Sanji is smiling, laughing, breathing again. Maybe it’s your imagination, but even the bags under his eyes seem less prominent…

Once the cake is finally decorated and placed in the walk-in to chill, Sanji collapses, sliding down the wall onto the floor.

“We did it!” You cheer, sitting next to him, flinging an arm around his shoulders. “Told you we’d have time for the cake.”

He turns to look at you, and his expression is one you’ve never seen him wear before. Gratitude, affection, joy.

“I truly couldn’t have done it without you, y/n,” he breathes, meeting your gaze. “Thank you.”

Your heart skips a beat as you look at him, your dear friend, surprisingly handsome in this light, and you vaguely realize you might have some… new feelings to work through.

“My pleasure, Sanji. Merry Christmas.”

He leans his head against yours, and his hand brushes your own (on purpose? An accident? You can’t tell).

“This was the best present you could have ever gotten me. Merry Christmas, y/n.”

The two of you sit, exhausted, but basking in one another’s glow. The silence is warm, safe, welcome.

And of course, it doesn’t last long. Chopper bursts through the kitchen door just moments later. “Come see!!! Usopp and I finally got the rest of the lights to work, and it’s finally dark out, and they look AMAZING, and—“

Chopper continues chattering excitedly, and you and Sanji stand up, both taking a breath before you step out into the chaos that is Christmas with the Straw Hats.

As you reach the doorway, prepared to follow Chopper, you grab Sanji’s sleeve.

“The next time you need a hand… I’m here, ok?”

Sanji smiles down at you. “I’m here for you too, y/n. You’re so important to me. Thank you.”

He grabs your hand and squeezes it gently, and you gulp involuntarily at the softness of it before composing yourself enough to speak. “Now I know what to get you for Christmas every year—a helping hand.”

“It’s snowing!!!! Sanji, y/n, come on!” Chopper shrieks. Laughing (and still, somehow, holding hands), the two of you head out to enjoy your first Christmas together.

#Diglett writes #sanji #black leg sanji #one piece #Christmas with the straw hats #sanji x reader

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.” #and that made sense to me i think. #but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing. #and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much. #and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology. #i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now. #and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be?? #i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe. #will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore?? #maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know. #i don't know what it'll mean for me. #but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed. #because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people. #peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing. #there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing. #it's a product of all of his things. #just like me! just like everyone. #so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways. #a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be. #i don't think it's something that can be simplified. #sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags. #i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual. #sci speaks

[tartigglez]

For the 300 follower event. Can I request green with Zhongli as Rex Lapis?

"rest"

・❥・rex lapis x gn!adeptus!reader

・❥・1.5k

・❥・set in old teyvat, reader and morax are in a sort of weird soul bond situationship, half-dragon!li (i've just decided its his base form now so everyone cope), he calls reader "little one" at one point (lol?), reader has horns (that sounds so silly help), reader cries and it's kinda cinematic, (yes i am using this to heal the wounds my ex left me with because he was ashamed of our relationship thank you for asking!), this has gotta be one of my fav fics ive ever written LOL

・❥・HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT IS I, CAEL. today i present you all with: a thing i wrote!

・❥・if you want to request a prompt from this event, click on the green title!

the world is quiet when the dragon slumbers. 

at least, that's what you think. 

that's what the adepti think.

the souls of the old deities that have been subdued by rex lapis calm a little when he rests. their empty shells are less vengeful, and they, albeit momentarily, no longer seek to wreak havoc on the people of liyue. 

it was a simple mission you had. go to the cave, retrieve any necessary cor lapis for streetward rambler and do not disturb morax. and of course, none of the other adepti knew, but this rule was an optional one in your mind.

the others would never know of your relationship with rex lapis, which was of a deeper level than you cared to explain. the deep, intricate weaves of your two souls together were much more detailed than anyone could ever imagine, so gently and carefully tied over such a long time that they could never be undone. they were roots so deep that neither you nor him could even tell how much you needed each other. 

of course, when he is resting you shouldn’t disturb him, because he needs it. he works hard to protect his people, and for this reason he should always be allowed to rest when he needs. 

as the few chunks of cor lapis you carried in your bag clanked together, you entered the mouth of a cave in mingyun village. you were fully aware that this was where he would be, since you could feel his presence. but you were only here since this was where the best cor lapis could be found, right? right?

a seemingly small tunnel in the side of the cave led you straight to the sight of him. he was completely still in slumber, tail of brown scales and golden spines lay a little curved on his hoard of various gemstones and chunks of metals.

you walked somewhat slowly to him, tiptoeing your way in to the cave, only to have a look at him of course. he looked quite strange when sleeping. his aura was much more peaceful than usual. 

normally, morax was calm. but there would always be some sort of troubled glint in his eyes, one that it appears only you can see, perhaps it is only for you to know of. 

as you made your way to the side of the cave opposite to the opening, you could see his hair and arms glowing a little in rhythm with his breathing. from deep in his chest came soft, yet low purrs. he was at rest. however, the small smile which appeared on his lips would say otherwise. 

slowly, but surely his eyelids opened, the bright amber irises previously hidden behind them meeting you as you stared at him, not even realising he had actually woken up. instead you were busy admiring his presence. 

“you haven’t been here long, hm?” he spoke with a yawn, pushing himself to sit up upon his hoard. the golden surfaces of a few pieces of mora reflected his sharp features as he took a sigh. 

your expression was one of pure guilt. you had only wished to see him, after all it was rare that the two of you got much time alone, but you didn’t want to actually wake him up when he was so deserving of a sleep. 

“not to worry,” he smiled, “i was due to wake up in a few days anyway.” he got down from the top of the pile, ground shaking a little as he jumped, and was all of a sudden by your side. “why the long face, little one?” he asked gently, tilting his head to the side and placing a loving hand on your cheek.

“i didn’t want to wake you up” you sighed, leaning into his touch. “i did miss you, but i only wanted to see you, not disturb you.”

he moved a little closer to you, his horns slightly touching your own as he moved his forehead against yours, “you are never a disturbance to me, dear” he spoke, closing his eyes and taking a few breaths with you. 

but suddenly, it hurt.

“morax…” you opened, trailing off, unsure of how to convey what you wanted to say. instead, your eyebrows knit themselves together, and completely out of your control, a single tear rolled down your cheek, losing itself slowly to the fabric of your robe after making its way down your neck. 

he felt it, all of the emotions that were happening for you were making their way to him, his senses more amplified after having rested. “dear-” he said softly, voice breaking a little, hands and eyes searching your body for some sign of injury or pain, “did something hurt you, are you well?” his eyes were filled with concern for you, and somehow that made you feel worse. he stroked your cheek with one hand, the other rubbing up and down your arm. “tell me, what troubles you?” he asked quietly.

“you wouldn’t want to know,” you giggled a little, more tears suddenly escaping your face. “it is a futile complaint”

“tell me,” he said, bringing his hands to your cheeks and gently wiping away your tears, “i want to hear all of it” 

you were silent for some time after that, the dim environment of the cave allowing you to lean your head on rex lapis’ shoulder, holding his hand as the other was gently stroking over your hair, and slowly massaging at the base of your horns. 

“do you think we’ll ever be able to tell them?” you said, nothing more than a whisper. so quietly that if morax didn’t have such heightened senses, he wouldn’t have been able to hear it at all.

“tell who?” he said back, shoulder slightly vibrating against your cheek as he did.

“the others. do you think we can ever tell them about us?” you asked, absentmindedly staring at a single coin of mora across from you. upon its shiny surface was painted the image of rex lapis of one and his adepti. no. upon its surface was painted two people who were held in a love that had been finely crafted over centuries, each piece chiselled out like the stone of a statue. 

“do you want them to know?” he asked, turning his head a little to place a soft kiss upon your head, humming a little before turning back to face his hoard, leaning his head on top of yours.

you nodded a little, closing your eyes, unsure of what to say next.

“if you want them to know then we shall tell them. i doubt they will be upset about it. after all, i am the one in charge, no?” he chuckled a little, interlacing his fingers with yours. 

“you’d really tell them?” you asked, moving from the way you were sat, instead sitting up straight to look at him, holding both his hands in your own. 

“if that is what you want, then of course i will. i only wish you had told me sooner.” he smiled at you, standing up and pulling you with him. your eyes shone brightly as you beamed at him, and he moved a little closer to you to ask a very important question…

“would you like to rest with me for a little while?” 

you nodded, and within an instant he had whisked you to the top of his pile. he began circling around, trying to find a comfortable spot before inviting you to lay down by him, tapping on the space beside him, which was rather funny, because a few of his treasures rolled down the side of the hoard, which made him pout a little. 

you keenly moved to lay down beside him, resting your head on his arm. however, there was one major problem.

“this is kind of uncomfortable” you spoke, watching his face contort from being relaxed, to confused, to relieved. through his expressions you could already tell that he had found the solution. 

“here,” he yawned out, swiftly moving you to lay on his chest as he rolled on to his back. “better?”

you laughed a little, cheek against the robe which (barely) covered his chest. “much better”

he wrapped both his arms around your waist, every effort being made not to scrape you with his talons. and in this moment, that was when it hit you, more than ever before. every piece of care that he had for you and you for him, it was all for one cause…

“i love you, morax” you smiled softly, squeezing him a little.

finally, you had put words to it. after centuries, you had finally verbalised on the affection shared between the two of you. for the first time ever, you knew exactly what you felt. it was love. 

it is love. 

sfw masterlist || event masterlist

© tartigglez, 2023. do not copy, translate or repost, reblogs appreciated

#genshin impact #zhongli #genshin x reader #tartigglez 300 follower event #zhongli our beloved #zhongli x you #zhongli x reader #zhongli fluff #genshin fic #rex lapis #rex lapis x reader #morax x y/n #morax x reader

[the-broken-truth]

Last Meal - Jamil Viper [Yandere] [Female Yuu] [Mini-Series?]

Summary: After spending a year in Twisted Wonderland, Crowley finds a way to send Yuu back to her Original world; while she is happy with this news, a certain serpent servant is not. How does he cope? By making a very special meal - their last meal together.

[Notification: New Message from Jamil Viper 🐍]

Jamil Viper 🐍: I heard the news... Crowley found a way to send you back home, correct, Prefect.

Prefect: Yeah! I'll be able to head home tomorrow morning. I'm actually glad you texted, I wanted to take you for everything you've done for me, Jamil-senpai.

Jamil Viper 🐍: I see... What about Dinner?

Prefect: Dinner?

Jamil Viper 🐍: If tonight is going to be your last night in Wonderland, I would like to make dinner for you and we can talk one last time. I already prepared the food and I'm currently on my way to Ramshackle. Is that alright?

Prefect: Sure! I would love to have one last meal with you!

Jamil Viper 🐍: Yes... One Last Meal.

About 5 minutes after the last message was received, there was a knock on Ramshackle's Front Door. Yuu placed her phone in her pocket, left her room, walked down the stairs, and opened the front door to reveal Jamil Viper standing on the other side of the door with two large bags in his hands while dressed in his casual clothing, his signature hoodie on display for the Prefect of Ramshackle to see.

"Hello, Jamil-senpai!" Yuu said as she moved to the side to allow Jamil to walk in.

"Good evening, Prefect." Jamil said before looking around as if trying to find something, "Is Grim around?"

"No. Grim decided that he was going to head to Heartslabyul and stay with Ace and Deuce; it was kinda weird because it was as if he was hiding something." Yuu said as she closed the door behind her before walking over to Jamil, looking down at the bags in Jamil's hands. "What did you bring?"

"Some high-grade steaks and some other sides that would best compliment the steaks." Jamil looked into the eyes of the Prefect before smiling at her," This is going to be a lovely dinner. Just for the two of us."

Yuu looked into Jamil's eyes - an unknown emotion, mysterious but dangerous. Something within her was telling her that something was not right with Jamil, however, Yuu knew that Jamil was always a mysterious person and that could just be how he currently was since he wasn't too happy about Yuu leaving in the morning.

Jamil walked into the Dining Room and began to set the table after collecting plates and wine glasses from Ramshackle's Kitchen Cabinets; Jamil brought the crystal wine glasses with him. Yuu watched as Jamil placed the food on the plates before pulling her chair out for her, waiting for her to sit, and pushing her chair in before walking to the other side of the table and taking a seat. The two of them said a prayer to the Great Seven before they started eating while enjoying conversation about their past adventures.

After dinner, Jamil was washing the dishes while Yuu was enjoying the dessert that Jamil made for her: It was a Strawberry Parfait with whipped cream and some small fruits that resembled seeds; she felt like she had seen something like that before but she couldn't place her finger on it and ate the dessert before turning to Jamil who was placing a plate in the drying rack.

"Jamil-senpai, you don't have to wash the dishes; ya know?" Yuu asked.

"I just want to be a good guest. This is your dorm after all." Jamil said, not turning to face Yuu, but the tone in his voice was...different; she remembered that tone when she met him when he was hiding his true intentions.

"It won't matter in the morning... I'll be gone." Yuu said.

Jamil was silent for a while before he spoke again.

"Prefect... In your Original World, do you have any Mythology that originated in Greece that you are familiar with?" Jamil asked while he was drying a wine glass.

"Greek Mythology? I mean, they taught us some but I don't remember everything. Why?" Yuu asked.

"I am curious if your Mythology matches with our own." Jamil answered.

"Hmmm...." Yuu pondered for a moment before answering with the first thing that came to mind, "Oh, I remember this one rule: Do not eat food in the Underworld, otherwise you will not be able to leave! Oh, and avoid pomegranates unless you are offering them to Lord Hades!"

"I see... Your Knowledge is similar to our own in regards to the King of the Underworld, but there are a few...differences." Jamil said as he placed the glass on the drying rack; that was his last dish but he kept his back turned to Yuu for a moment, "Our myth is about food, but it's more about cooking it there."

"Huh?" Yuu questioned.

"Here is our myth: If you consume food that has been cooked in the Flames of the Underworld, regardless if you are in the Underworld or the Mortal Realm when you eat the food, you will die if you are not from a host of high power." Jamil explained, "However...if you consume pomegranate seeds before the effects of the tainted food take effect, you will survive but... your soul will be...reborn. Everything you once were will be erased and you shall be a new template; ready to be shaped. It is a painful process...painful but necessary."

"That's rather...brutal. Why are you telling me this?" Yuu asked.

Suddenly, Jamil's Phone started ringing; the Viper pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked to see who was calling before telling Yuu that he needed to take this before walking out of the kitchen, and out the front door to have his conversation in private.

Yuu sat there for a while when she felt a light tightness in her chest before using her fist to lightly hit her chest as if she was trying to bring up a burp, but a cough came up instead; she instinctively covered her mouth and violently coughed into it before removing her hand from her mouth and looked down at it - her eyes widened as her eyes landed on a crimson stain on her palm of her hand...

"Blood?" She questioned herself before she coughed once again, even worse this time, and her heart was hurting even worse; as if something was pulling her apart from the inside. She tried to stand up but her body suddenly felt weak as she fell to the ground, causing her phone to fly out of her loose pocket and slide across the floor.

Yuu continued to cough up blood, the pain getting worse and worse with each passing moment; she clenched her shirt over her heart as she looked at the door, she wanted to call out for Jamil but her voice was hurting; she couldn't speak. She looked around, her vision starting to blur when her eyes landed on her phone. She pushed through the pain and crawled to the device, she reached out for it, only for a tan and to reach down and pick up the phone before she could grab it. Her eyes landed on familiar tennis shoes as she weakly looked up and landed in the face of Jamil Viper, watching as he placed her phone in his hoodie pocket. Yuu attempted to speak through her blood-stained lips but Jamil knelt beside her and gently caressed her face while shushing her.

"I know. I know it hurts, My Diamond... It's so painful but necessary." Jamil whispered.

Yuu's eyes widened.

The story.

This pain.

Everything made sense: Jamil fed her food that had been cooked using the flames of the underworld.

She was dying...

"No, My Diamond, you are not dying; you are being reborn. Your dessert is making sure of that." Jamil said while smiling at her before gently holding her in his arms, not caring that her blood was getting on his hoodie.

"I never wanted to do this, none of us did, but we could not all you to turn to the world you came from; you belong here in Wonderland but you never understood that. You wanted to leave me and the world we were building together, but I couldn't allow that to happen. I need you, My Diamond, just as you need me." He gently kissed her forehead, "You will experience more pain in the coming days, but everything will be for your betterment, and once everything is said and done... We shall have our Happily Ever After. Rest, My Diamond, don't fight it... Let the rebirth happen and I shall be there to guide you."

With those words, the pain became too much for Yuu to bear and she slipped into an unconscious state of mind. Jamil looked at her body for a while before pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing a number, putting it up to his ear.

"It's done. Prepare the room and get everyone together." Jamil said.

"Understood." The other persona said before hanging up.

Jamil looked at Yuu's face before pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping the blood from Yuu's lips, "Everything is going to be alright, My Diamond in the Rough; once everything is done, no one will be able to take you from me again...nor will you escape me. Everything will be as it is supposed to be." Once her face was clean, he placed a tender kiss on her lips, "I love you. I love you so much."

The front door opened and Jamil looked behind him at the eyes watching him. He lifted Yuu in his arms and carried her out of Ramshackle before the door slammed behind him, leaving the Prefect's Dorm in darkness.

[END?]

#twisted wonderland masterlist #yandere jamil viper #jamil viper #jamil viper x yuu #female yuu

[thelaughtercafe]

Coping With Hope

Tea Type: Half and Half (Fluff and Hurt/Comfort)

Potential Triggers: No twording in this fic! This whole fic centers around creating coping strategies for issues with eating, and that negative voice in one’s head! Hope this helps someone else going through this too! ❤

Pairing: Bakugou/Reader towards the end, but other characters include Todoroki, Izuku, Ochaco, Mina, Kaminari, Kirishima, and Shinsou!

Length: 1.3k+

Summary: You're so thankful for your friends, and they help you brainstorm strategies to help you with your issues.

A/N: Oh would you look at that? A follow up because I have no self control 🙃 This is more of a part 2 than anything to finish off the night so no twording yet! Next fic is where twording'll be more prominent. It physically killed me not to include Monoma in part 1 because if felt he didn’t fit the dynamic so there will definitely be a Shinsou/Reader/Monoma fic at some point.

“So. Now that we’ve established the issue; how do you want us to help?”

Todoroki sat across from you with you up by the pillow and the others all circled around you; crammed on top of Bakugou’s bed. 

You were still catching your breath a little, having suddenly been attacked by wiggling fingers and teasing for a solid 10 minutes. It had been overwhelming, but in the best way possible. No doubt Bakugou knew you needed a moment to not think which is the real reason he outed you. 

Cheeks still a little pink, the negative voice seemed too tickled out to have anything to say for once, apparently tuckered out. 

“Well…”

You nibbled your bottom lip, trying to think. 

“Maybe you guys can remind me to eat, gently?”

You fidgeted uncomfortably, shyly playing with your fingers. 

“If you ask me directly I may get defensive or anxious; the only one of you I’d say who could effectively get through to me like that is Bakugou, and Todoroki.”

“Me and Bakugou?”

Todoroki seemed surprised and almost offended and you hid a smile behind your hand as you nodded. 

“Yeah. See, Bakugou is gonna be the type to shove a cereal bar in my hand and if I try to protest he’s just gonna make me shut up before I spiral. He’ll have me eating before I have time to think about it. Whereas I could see you also giving me small snacks and such, but you have a much subtler way about you of…hm…how do I explain? Like making me go quiet and shy and just doing as asked? I guess intimidated is the right word but good intimidated if that makes sense?”

He snickered under his breath at that, making you look up as you blushed. He reached over and patted your head, affectionately.

“Uh-huh. I get what you mean cutie. That’s fine.”

You tried to move on to cope with your face burning and nodded. 

“Th-thanks! Okay um…also not treating me like different? I don’t mind subtle gestures and well-" 

You started shyly fidgeting again, eyes flicking to the mattress as you swallowed shyly. 

"Affection and physical contact could be a good way to help condition and reward me I think. I kinda forgot how touch starved I was till confronted with it and then I realized how nice it is so-but if that’s weird don’t-”

“Oh we are on it!!”

You giggled as Kaminari near tackled you before cuddling up to your side and nuzzling into your neck. tickling you slightly as you squirmed before giving up and leaning against him. Okay, admittedly that felt really nice. 

“Hey save some for us Nari no fair!!”

Uraraka pouted and made grabby hands at you as Shinsou began carding his fingers through your hair again quietly, making you melt all the more into the boy behind you.  

Bakugou snorted. 

“You really do remind me of a cat sometimes you know that? Gonna start calling you kitten.”

Your eyes popped open at that as you blushed. 

“Don’t you dare hotshot. I can think of much worse nicknames given time.”

He leered at you playfully. 

“I’m not too worried kitten~ guess you’ll have to get used to it.”

You rolled your eyes but hummed as you tried to think. Was there really anything else?

“What about when you spiral?”

Deku’s voice was kind but concerned and you stiffened a little against Kaminari before shaking your head at him. 

“Trust me; you don’t want to hear what the voice in my head shouts at me. I deal better with spirals alone. Better I break down alone, cope with it and then move on.”

He frowned at that. 

“But… you have us now. Don’t you want us to help ground you and remind you it’s not true? Kachaan used to help me with my anxiety attacks by doing that.”

You bit your lip, hesitantly but nodded. 

“I mean…I can try it. But no promises I won’t run away or something when I get overwhelmed. I get scared of having my emotions negatively affect you guys.”

“Well we’re still here and fine aren’t we?”

Kirishima piped up with a smile that made you relax again with a nod, as Izuku continued.

“Well it should definitely be an intimate group then so you don’t feel too overwhelmed. Me, and either Kirishima or Bakugou depending on who’s available…is there anyone else you think who would help?”

“If she’s not around you guys, Monoma and I can handle it.”

Shinsou spoke suddenly making you turn to angle your head towards him. 

“Are you sure?”

You knew Shinsou also struggled with spirals so you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. 

He nodded, determination clear in his eyes. 

“Mm. Yeah. And I’m sure Monoma will want to help too. He’s surprisingly good at calming people down. Who would’ve guessed him never shutting up could be useful, right?”

An amused smirk tugged at his lips that you mirrored and you nodded. 

“Okay then.”

“Ooh, ooh what about me?”

Ashido raised her hand and bounced in place a little, a grin evident as she looked eager. 

“I’m honestly kind of at a loss for more ideas-”

“Oh I got one!”

Kaminari leaned his head on your shoulder, his arms wrapped comfortably around your middle as he grinned at Ashido. 

“You like to cook right? Why don’t you make her lunches?”

You waved your hands quickly in denial at that. 

“Wha-? No no that’s okay!! I don’t want to waste ingredients or what if I can’t eat it all that day or-”

Shinsou’s utterance of your name made you freeze again and once you’d met his gaze he gave you an amused smile. 

“Breathe.”

You did so as Ashido smiled gently and put your worries at ease.

“Well I always buy too much anyway honestly. I make Kaminari’s, Jirou’s and occasionally Todoroki’s too on top of my own so if anything you’ll be helping me out! As for if you’re having trouble eating it all… I’m sure one of the boys will be ecstatic over extra food; so that way you don’t have to feel bad if it gets too hard! Sound good? Oh!”

She laughed in surprise as you hopped across the bed out of Kami’s grip who whined at the loss to hug her in answer, rubbing your back. 

At your mumbled thanks she hummed in acknowledgement. 

When you finally sat back, looking misty eyed and nervous as you glanced towards Bakugou the others knew it was time to go and began making their way out over the next several minutes as you got up to wish them well and thank them for being such great friends. 

Eventually, only Bakugou and you remained, peaceful silence between you two as you tiredly leaned against his shoulder, both of your backs against the pillows as you rested. 

Eventually, after a while, you spoke up quietly. 

“…Is it bad that I’m scared? Now that everyone knows I just…I’m worried I’ll let them down.”

You felt rather than heard him sigh and he moved to wrap the arm you’d been leaning against around your shoulders, his other hand supporting his head as he looked at the ceiling in contemplation and then answered. 

“I think…it’s perfectly normal to be afraid. Even All Might has fear, ya know? But as long as we make an effort every day to fight against that fear. Then I think we’ll also be a little better every day. That’s how I choose to think of it anyway.”

A genuine smile had bloomed across your face at that and you sighed into his neck, the elevated warmth his body provided immensely comforting and disarming.

“You’re gonna make such an amazing hero one day Bakugou. You’re already one person’s. I’m so lucky you found me.”

Your eyed had slipped shut so you missed the way his cheeks flamed though his eyes filled with pride, his grip tightening just enough to make you feel completely protective. The peck to the top of your head was quick but lingered enough to ensure you felt it. 

If you hadn’t already been starting to drift into dreamland, you surely would’ve noticed the thickness in your best friend’s voice as he murmured. 

“Go to bed, kitten. You’ve had a long day today.”

If only you knew you weren’t the only one who felt saved. 

#tlc: fic #female reader #bakugou x reader #kirishima x reader #mina x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #shinsou x reader #boku no hero academia fic #my hero academia fic #todoroki x reader #denki x reader #ochaco x reader #mha x reader #bnha fluff #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #tlc: milk tea

[crazylittlejester]

THEYRE (the chain) ALL AUTISTIC ESPECIALLY THE ERAS WAR TRIO!! IN THIS TEDTALK I WILL-

mask was, ironically, very low masking

warriors was (and still kinda is) VERY high masking

(Tune is somewhere in the middle + ADHD)

mask really struggled at first on the battlefield because of his extreme lack of social skills (dude was raised in the woods with a bunch of other autistic fairy kids), lack of danger awareness, and poor understanding of war/battlefield (he’s used to 1-1 boss fights not war), and the fact that as a kid, he was already much much higher support needs, not even mentioning how traumatized he must’ve been.

warriors was drowning in stress, a literally TEENAGER (I hc him being 16-20 during the war) severely masking and like, PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO STOP. Among all the other non-neurodivergent stressors (cia, A WAR, parenting two kids in battle, food issues)

warriors helped mask learn tips for surviving the neurotypical world** (TM) and made sure he was 100% accommodated, since warriors knew he, himself would never have that.

Mask subtly (and probably accidentally) pushed warriors to mask less, creating a safe space where the three bros could all be them selves. He’d throw the biggoron sword if someone so much as looked NEAR where warriors was when he was stimming, ready to fight the h8ters if necessary.

later on, the trio (and now 6 more!) rejoin, and time is pleasantly surprised to see that warriors has kept some of the mentality. Granted, he’s not made any progress since then, but he’s not gotten worse, so that’s something.

Warriors is also quietly content that time has retained the social skills he taught him, in fact, he’s picked up even more! Though he finds it hard to find time at all scary, intimidating, or powerful, because warriors knows EXACTLY what is going through time’s head when he makes that face, I mean, he taught his brother himself!

warriors now has to face the living proof that he’s not weird or broken, lest he tell that to his eight brothers who are nowhere near as masking as he is, culture shock!

**DISCLAIMER!!

I know that the idea of “normalizing” autistic kids via teaching them neurotypical behaviors is a very complex and nuanced conversation to be had, and I’m not trying to parade around supporting ABA. (not to make this about me or anything,) but this pov/head cannon/prompt (?) is inspired from the perspective of me and my lower masking/much higher support needs sibling (both are autistic) :)

Your favorite,

-MANDARIN WARRIORS

I love you for this oh my god

To me, one of the things Mask struggles with the most besides social cues is controlling his facial expressions when especially when talking to others, which is why the other Links just automatically assumed he was the stoic silent type, because they saw this serious looking older guy who rarely smiles and were like “oh he means business-” but really he just has very flat expressions. Similarly I think he’s very dry when he speaks, it was worse when he was younger, and he’d gotten better at making himself sound more excited/happy, but occasionally the others (not including Wars) think he’s being sarcastic when he isn’t. And this is part of why they can never tell if he’s joking about having fought the moon.

With how chaotic his childhood was (and also because of the autism), to me he’s someone who really needs stability and predictably, which is why ranch work is sooo good for him. Like yeah unexpected things happen, but he can also sit there and take care of the animals and know he will be taking care of the animals the next day (also I think braiding Epona’s mane would be both comforting for him AND the horse)

Warriors is someone I can see stressing out so much about how people view him and he’s so scared of being anything less than perfect that he ends up getting trapped masking and everything just builds up until he explodes. He certainly was not coping well during the war, with everything that was going on, but I totally agree that Mask helped him mask less. Those two absolutely helped each other, both intentionally and completely by accident. By the time he’s in his mid/late twenties, he’s gotten a lot better about not letting everything build up, and also at unmasking every once in a while when he feels safe. (you’re so right, time/mask would fight ANY haters on wars’s behalf)

Everything you said was so perfect and I love it!! I’ve written one fic centering around these two being autistic (although I didn’t explicitly state that because I don’t know if they’d have like, the medical diagnosis for that in hyrule), and i really need to write more. I myself am autistic and good autism rep is really important to me because I never saw it as a kid

You’re literally my favorite at this point, mandarin wars anon, I hope you’re having a good day 🫶

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu warriors #lu wars #lu time #jes talks #jes ask

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way (Dark Ending): Going Under, Part 3

Raider!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Raider!Tommy Miller x Fem!Reader

Spotify Playlist

Summery: After you give birth to Ellie in the cabin, Joel fins you and Tommy, besting Tommy in a fight. What happens to you? What happens to Ellie, Tommy, Lorenzo and the rest of the family Little One has acquired? How does Little One learn to cope with her new reality? Does she fall into the darkness that surrounds Joel and all he touches? Can Joel really change for you and your daughter?

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH WARNING, graphic violence, murder, manipulation, the horrors, Joel being Joel, Tommy being kinda pathetic, Joel's weird sexual fantasies, breeding kink, abuse of power. Just.... all the bad.

******************

For weeks it continued like that, Joel dragging you out of bed and making you go outside, play with Ellie, spend time with June and Tommy… all things that slowly improved your mood. Joel wouldn’t let you drown in your own misery and as much as you hated it, he really had become your lifeboat. 

Ellie was asleep in her bed as you stayed in the room rearranging her clothes and cloth diapers while muffled voices talked outside; Joel had just brought some back from a raid and you were deciding what was salvageable and what she’d fit into. At 2 months she was still very small, but you were setting aside clothes and diapers that she grew out of. Tommy said he’d figure out local women who were pregnant. You’d come to realize how many of the men who didn’t live in the raider house had wives and children… and it concerned you. What was the state they lived in? Were they treated better or worse than you? Were thy beaten and raped? Did they love their husbands? Did their husbands take care of them the way Joel took care of you?

You couldn’t help smiling at the pretty dress he found; he was particularly proud of that one. ‘Isn’t it pretty? It’s a little big for Dolly right now but she’ll look so cute when she grows into it.’

The voices grew and you realized it was an argument outside. Curiosity getting the best of you, you look outside to see Joel and June arguing with each other and Tommy in his signature peace-keeper stance. Joel looked angry although you couldn’t make out his words. Memories of how Lorenzo and Zach were slaughtered in front of you and all the ways Joel brutalized you, and you knew you needed to protect June. With a glance to Ellie to check he’s still asleep and breathing, you run outside to intervene.

“JOEL!” You shout, running around the house to try and get Joel to calm. He at least had some love and respect for you, didn’t he? He brought June here for you, so he must have some regard for her life and what it meant to you? He wanted to be a family, surely he’d spare his daughter’s aunt?

Joel didn’t look at you, shouting at June; something about her attitude and being tired of her muttering under her breath. June, in her part, called him a psychopath and delusional, insisting he would never have a normal family. Before you could reach them, Joel slapped her hard, causing June to get knocked to the ground and you to freeze in your place. You wanted to move. You did… but your body would not make the steps…

Quickly, you realized you didn’t have to.

Tommy was on Joel in a flash, decking him on the jaw with a cracking punch and making Joel stumble back.

“KEEP YOUR GODDAMN HANDS OFF MY WIFE!” Tommy screamed at his brother and you felt your eyes growing at Tommy’s sudden display.

Joel was undeterred, a punch to the jaw being far from the worst he’d felt. Stepping forward again, he spread his arms out wide, taunting him. “There he is! There’s the Tommy Miller I know!” A wide grin was on his face, Joel huffing out a laugh as he whipped the blood from his mouth. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU FUCKING PUSSY!”

Tommy lunged at his brother once more, an anger on his face the likes of which you hadn’t seen before, not on your kind-hearted Tommy… You were starkly reminded here that Tommy Miller was a raider, Tommy killed, Tommy fought, Tommy tortured and you only ever had his word and Lorenzo’s limited understanding that he wasn’t a rapist. How much about him did you really know?

A full on fist fight ensued, the brothers shouting at each other as they did; Tommy yelling at Joel to stay away from his family, Joel largely egging him on, telling him to be a man. Why was he trying to get Tommy to hurt him? Joel was clearly losing, but it was also obvious his full strength was not being utilized. You had seen what Joel could do and were aware of even more. Joel could take on several men without aid. Joel could brutalize without a second thought; he’d done it to you, he’d done worse to Nick.

But this was Tommy, and at the end of the day no matter the horrors, Joel was a father and a brother, and that was the core of who he was. Joel’s psyche snapping was due to his loss of Sarah and his desire to have her back was at the basis of everything he’d done to you, good and bad. Hell, the whole concept of Joel being a raider was based around the need to protect and provide for the only family he had left. The violence enacted had been in the name of Tommy’s survival… until it all became so muddled that he survived only for the violence… and then came you, and suddenly there was something else to live for.

Tommy had the clear lead, straddling Joel and landing blow after blow on Joel’s face and for a moment you thought he might really kill him.

“TOMMY!” You scream, and you don’t know why. You should want Joel dead, you should want your freedom… but you weren’t entirely sure what your freedom looked like now. Once, you thought that freedom was with Tommy, being his wife, loving him, maybe even a few more children. You thought it was with Zach and Lorenzo. All of that was out of the realm of possibility now, and Joel was what you knew, Joel is what you had, and Joel was the main reason you had been able to tread water thus far. Joel kept your head above water. “TOMMY STOP!”

He was not listening, you look at June for her to say something… but it looks like she wants Tommy to kill him too. You weren’t sure if Tommy would or could kill Joel, but for every punch Joel got in Tommy got two and you didn’t want Joel to show his whole brute force either. You didn’t want either one dead.

You rush over to where the men fought, June telling you to stay out of it, and try to get in between them but Tommy shoves you away and you fall back. Joel takes the advantage of the distraction and uses his legs to roll Tommy and climb on top to rain down punches although significantly less strong. “YOU DON’T TOUCH HER!” 

Eventually you are able to pull Joel off Tommy, June running over to help him stand just as you do Joel, both men dripping in blood and sweat, panting heavily.

Tommy points at Joel, still panting. “Stay away from her!”

You can’t help but scoff from behind where Joel guards you with his body. 

That sound makes Tommy turn to you incredulously, all pretense having been obliterated in the bite of the Wyoming freeze-over. “What does that mean?” The harsh tone of voice was new to you, but you were not deterred, frustration with Tommy and all involved in this last year boiling over.

You took a few steps towards the man, bundled up in his signature blue denim jacket. “Really? Now you wanna step up?!” Voice raising, you step up to Tommy despite his tall figure towering over you. “Everything that happened last year and now you want to protect her?”

Tommy’s jaw ticked in annoyance; he tried to keep calm in regular Tommy fashion but the addrenlien from the fight was not helping matters. “I not like that-”

“BUT IT IS!” You shout, shoving him hard on the chest. “WHERE WERE YOU LAST YEAR!” Another shove, Tommy’s composure slipping from him by the second. “WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS BEING RAPED!” Another shove, harder this time and making Tommy stumble back. “HE BRANDED ME! HE BEAT ME! AND YOU JUST WATCHED!”

Tommy’s own anger, the impulse control he had been carefully tucking away since the days of his youth was unleashed on Joel today, and he was not able to reel it back in time to stop himself from shoving you back. “SHE’S PREGNANT!”

When you walked back from the force of his push, you could hear Joel’s footsteps in the crunch of leaves below his feet and you held a hand up. This was between you and Tommy. “Are you fucking kidding me? How long did you wait to jump into be with her? A week? That night? Just because Joel said she’s your wife DOESN’T MEAN SHE-”

“IT’S NOT LIKE THAT!” He shouts back before stuttering on his words. “She- I-”

You laugh. “You what? You love her? YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!” Your fist flies to your chest, pounding on your heart as you scream.

 Tommy whispers your name, but you turn to June standing helplessly on the sidelines; out of the corner of your eye you see Joel, ever-watching. You speak only to your friend, irrational betrayal flooding your system. She was a victim of this pyschological torture Joel created, but she had Tommy, your Tommy, and you felt… cheated on. Is this how Joel felt when he found out you had been with Tommy? 

“You're having his baby?” You wait until she nods in confirmation, and whatever else her lips had started to spill were cut off by your own words. “He tell you he was going to raise Ellie? When we ran away, he swore to me he’d raise Ellie as his daughter and now he won’t even hold her!” The tears that had began pooling in your eyes spilled over, and your voice weakened. “He was going to be her father, he told me he loved me, but he- oh my god.” The ache in your heart at a new realization made you double over as it began to manifest in a full-body reaction.

“Honey, please, it’s not-”

“You are so FUCKING PATHTIC!” You scream at him. “You had me thinking I was special, the whole time I was here and that whole time you were fucking Maria!” The way June turned to him, it seemed she didn’t know about Maria yet. “You lived with her for months and when I came you left her without another thought-”

“You needed help!”

“And you were never going to come back to her! You have the will power, the commitment of a bug, Tommy! You just join wherever is convenient, whatever is the new, shiny thing and then you just DROP ME!”

A blanket of silence enveloped the four of you, and slowly the strength you had faded. You feel small, used, helpless…

Tommy at least looks remorseful; maybe he is more aware of his nature than you think. “Honey…” He spoke softly, eyes pleading with forgiveness while Joel and June watched all this unfold in a vacuum. “She’s having a baby, I can’t- I gotta man up for her, just as I did when you were pregnant.”

“Why did I have to become pregnant?” You don’t even recognize your own voice as it cracks under the pressure of today and the crushing postpartum depression. “Wasn’t I enough?”

Tommy didn’t respond, he simply stood there with that guilt stricken look that had seared into your mind when Joel had you bent over the table at the beginning of all this. He just watched as you clutched your stomach and cried, a horrific silence allowing your sobs to echo in the open field until Joel’s arms wrapped around you. You jump; everything you had said had been said to Tommy, but Joel had heard it all of course… would he punish you for these feelings? But his touch was gentle around you, ushering you around the house and sitting you on the front porch steps. Tender, Joel attempted to pull you onto his lap but you resided him.

Joel gave you space, and lots of time until your tears subsided enough before he spoke. 

“I want you to be happy here, little one. I’m try’n, I’m trying so fucking hard to make this better. Tommy’s a cheat, but you're the only one that can make me happy, you understand that, don’t you?”

You nodded, believing him. Despite everything, Joel had tried. Joel was loyal to you in a way Tommy never had been. Joel’s hold on you was damn near obsessive. 

“I’m try’n. I’m fuck’n try’n. I want us to be a family, you me and Dolly. I want her to have a happy mom. I know I ain’t… I ain’t been the best. I’ve…”  Joel paused, and then with a breath he admitted his faults. “I’ve been cruel. I hurt you, and I don’t wanna be like that. What can I do? What’s it gonna take to make you happy? To make a good home for our daughter?”

You lift your head off his shoulders, the cool wind blowing on your wet face. “I don’t… I don’t know, Joel. I just feel… alone.” You begin to cry. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Joel it’s just…”

“You can tell me, little one. It’s okay. I won’t punish you.”

His eyes are deep and pleading, he wanted so much for you to be happy, didn’t he?

“I feel like I have no one! Zach is dead, Lorenzo is dead, almost everyone who was there for me is dead and now June and Tommy have each other and I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t feel like this because you are my husband but… I feel like Tommy betrayed me, I feel like I have no one!”

Joel waited, allowing you to speak and showed no signs of anger at your words. “You have me”

“Joel…”

He kisses your forehead. “I’m here for you, to protect you, to provide for you and Dolly. I’ll do whatever you want, anything. We can leave, we can go somewhere else, start over, whatever you need, whatever it takes for our family.”

Joel was offering to start over, start a new life… is that what you wanted?

“Can I… Can I go on a walk? Think about it?”

Joel nodded briskly, helping you stand and giving you his flannel for warmth. You knew Joel would have one of his men trailing you but for the most part you took the time to be alone. No baby, no Joel, no June, no Tommy. Just you.

What did you need to be happy? Leaving Joel wasn’t an option… you had to make the best of what you had. Joel was right. Ellie deserved a happy home. Ellie deserved a happy family, including her aunt and uncle and little cousin. But Ellie also deserved safety. She deserved a sense of normalcy in her childhood. How do you provide that? 

You sit at the edge of a field, the single grave that held the bodies of Zach, Lorenzo, Jack and Maura was decorated with one headstone. Joel had done this for you as an act of mercy.

“I don’t know what to do.” You sob as you sit down on the grass. “I need help.” You pray for guidance, for some voice of your family to help you. Joel was giving you freedom, choices… you needed to take advantage of that.

It wasn’t until you felt your breasts swelling, telling you it was time to feed your daughter that you walked back up to the house. A golden shadow had been cast by the setting sun, breeze playing in the golden field Joel had been working on harvesting. As you came up over the small hill, you see him there on the tractor he had fixed up with Ellie on his lap. She was laughing��� her first laugh. 

You fight the urge to run over, just watching your husband play with your daughter, a happy, healthy little baby despite it all. Joel was right; she was strong.

Joel turns to you when your dress rustles in the fields of gold, grinning wildly as he proudly announces- “She can laugh now!”

You return his smile with the same pride. “She’s such a good baby…” And she was. She really was. 

He continued tickling Ellie for a little just to hear that laugh a little longer before looking back to you more seriously. He still looked happy; he always looked happy around her, but there was still that worry in his eyes. “Did you have a good walk?” Joel asked sincerely.

“I did.” You move to sit on the tractor with him, resting your head on his shoulder. “I want to do this with you, Joel. I want our family, but there’s gotta be changes.”

Joel nodded vigorously, eager to do what it took to keep you. He always looked so young in these moments. “What is it, baby? I do anything.”

With a deep breath, the crisp air filled your lungs, and you exhaled your conditions. “First, I am free to go wherever and whenever I like, so is June, so is Tommy as long as you don’t leave leave.”

Readily, he agreed.

You lift your head up off his warmth to allow yourself to look him in the eye. This was the most important. “Second, you cannot hurt our family. I don’t care what June says to you, you can’t hurt her, Tommy, me-”

“I wouldn’t hurt you-”

“YOU HUNG ME THREE MONTHS AGO!”

That shut Joel up, and he gave a little nod. “Okay. I’ll stop.”

“Joel, this is the most important part-”

“I wouldn’t hurt Dolly”

“I’m not saying you would. But you can’t threaten or imply you will to manipulate me, and I need you to understand” You lean in close “I’m aware I can’t kill you. I’m aware you are stronger than me, but I swear to god, you harm my daughter and I will die defending her.”

To your surprise, Joel smiled. “That’s why I love you.”

And to your surprise, you smiled back. “Third. She will not grow up in a house full of strange men. Unacceptable. Considering that half of them were willing to rape me when I was barely out of my teens, that is asking for a problem.” Lorenzo had brought this up to you months ago, and it had been on your mind. Lorenzo died trying to protect you and Ellie, his input would not be in vain.

He seemed to consider this point. “I agree.”

“She needs a stable environment. June and Tommy” You take in a deep breath, still dealing with the mind fuck that the man you had loved was having a child with your best friend. “They’ll be having her cousin, and I know some of the men have children and wives… I want… something else. A community.”

His face falters just a bit but not in anger or disappointment, more frustration with himself. “We can’t go to Jackson… Marie won’t-”

“Not that” You shake your head. “Can we maybe… build houses around this one?”

Joel considers for a while. “There’s a town bout 30 miles north that was abandoned… had a small population pre outbreak, maybe 500 or someth’n. What if we moved there? Started a little town?”

You light up at that. “I would love that!”

“Gonna take a lot of work, little one. Organizing it all. I can’t take on all that, I still gotta do what I do…”

“I’ll take it on! I’ll set up everything, get a school going, a clinic, start farming, everything!” You were elated, bouncing in the seat as you thought of all you wanted to do. You’d talk to the women, learn their skills and abilities, their needs… Most importantly, provide for Ellie and the other children, including your incoming niece or nephew.

“I bet you will, little one.” Joel smiled fondly at you. “Gonna do so go. Is that it? Is that everything?”

You deflate just a bit…there was one more thing you wanted… but you weren’t sure he’d give it to you.

“There is… one more thing.”

“Anything, pequena, anything.”

You give him your softest, widest eye’d ‘please Joel’ look and ask. “I want her to be called Ellie.”

Joel hesitated. “Sweetheart, really? Is it that important to you?”

You nod. “It is, Joel.”

You watch as he purses his lips, moving his mouth in thought before he nodded. “Okay. Ellie.” Joel looked down at Ellie who had begun to fuss, climbing off the tractor and holding his hand to help you. It was time to feed her and put her down for a nap, then begin the evening routine. “Our Ellie June.”

**************

I THIIIIIIIINK 2 chapters left?

How do we feel about Tommy? I mean, it's good he's finally stepping up but little one had a point. Wasnt she enough? This is a lesson y'all. If he wanted to, he would.

How do we feel about June? Personally, I think she'd doing what she can under her circumstances.

And Joel... suddenly so soft again.....

@pimosworld @rubyfruitjungle @moriartyyouwhore @k-ra @the-fox-den @jenna-ortega @alwaysmicado @lunar-ghoulie @ladynightingale @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @maura-honey @fandxmslxt69 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @miraclesabound @koshkaj-blog

#Joel Miller #Joel Miller smut #tw rape #dub con #non con #dark joel miller #romana after dark #dark!Joel #the last of us hbo #joel miller fic #joel miller reader #joel miller reade smut #dark joel miller reader #tommy miller fem reader #tommy miller smut #tommy miller fem!reader #the wrong way fic #the wrong way series #tommy miller

[thatastrobae]

A ‘what if’ for y’all on this beautiful Tuesday morning

I really don’t wanna start no shit, but I just have to know…how would the fandom react if Miles and Gwen had traded places? The movie would still be amazing, but how would the discourse look if things went like this…

It was Miles that was forced to leave his universe because he messed up so bad; and in turn, the citizens of 1610 labeled him as a criminal. There is a warrant out for his arrest and when Jeff and Rio find out his identity, they don’t fully trust him because he's been lying about being Spiderman for so long. Jeff thinks he’s fallen down the same path as Aaron and Miles’ defenses fall on deaf ears.

Then in comes Miguel and Jess who give him the opportunity to join the Spider Society, build on his skills, and see all of the spider people he'd missed in the past year- everyone except for Gwen because in this "what if" she's the anamoly. Peter Parker was supposed the be Spiderman of Earth-65, not his love interest who was destined to 🎲 in said reality. So now Miguel refuses to even touch that dimension cause if she still ends up 🎲ing like the others, then Earth-65 will have no Spiderman to protect it. Otherwise things are pretty chill there; GhostSpider isn’t demonized but Gwen is still having trouble making friends. She’s missing Miles and is struggling to cope with Peter’s death.

Situation presents itself where Miles gets to go on a mission on Earth-65 to keep tabs on a villain. The only condition being that he can’t visit Gwen- which he disregards of course. They swing around Chelsea, NY, share a moment on the GWB…yada yada yada. The thing is, Miles is lying to Gwen by omission. He knows that Captain Stacy is running on borrowed time and he knows that Gwen is an anomaly who was never supposed to be Spiderwoman and she might 🎲 if they fall in love. The evening goes on and he chums it up with her dad (who he knows will end up on a mural soon) then takes his leave. Gwen- who’s curiosity is piqued at the mention of the Spider Society-knows Miles is hiding something so she gets the ‘ok’ from George (who is the best dad in this au) to follow him and she wastes no time.

Shit pops off in Mumbattan and because she’s ignorant to canon events, she saves Gyatri and Captain Singh and ASM-90 is interrupted. Jess is pissed, but Gwen’s not worried cause she knows she did the right thing and if this ‘Miguel O’Hara’ guy has a problem he can say it to her face. So despite Miles’ discomfort and Hobie’s dissuasion, she follows Jess to the SS anyway (low key excited she finally gets to see what Miles was talking about).

At Nueva York, she meets some more cool Spider people and bumps into old friends(it’s kinda weird how they’re all a part pf this taskforce except for her, but whatever). Miles is shitting bricks right now cause he has an idea of how things are gonna go down- still he says nothing, and tries move the group along.

The time comes for Gwen to finally meet Miguel and he holds nothing back when telling her why she shouldn’t have saved those civilians. Gwen stands ten toes down on her actions until Miguel debriefs her on ASM-90. Now knowing that her father’s life is in danger, she refuses to accept the fact that she can’t save him. She looks around the room for support from her friends: Peter, Peni, Ham and gets nothing but guilt ridden glances and silence. What stings a bit more is the fact that the boy she cares about the most isn’t 100% on her side here. Even as she finds herself running for her life from a mob of Spider people trying to detain her, Miles is still on the fence- yet leaning more towards Miguel’s side. He even gives Jessica an advantage by pulling her motorcycle up to speed with her. He catches her as she's falling, eyes filled with sorrow and remorse, but it changes nothing. Her instinct tells her to cut the web. Gwen didn't know if he was helping her or capturing her and she’s pretty sure Miles didn't know either. As said before, it changes nothing.

Suddenly, they’re on a high speed tram and an irritated, adrenaline filled Miguel finally catches up to Gwen. He choke slams her onto the tram and Miles and Peter are right behind them telling him to calm down, they don’t do much else to stop Miguel. They don’t want her to get hurt, but that doesn’t mean they’re on her side. As Gwen struggles against Miguel’s hold, he drops another bomb on her. ASM-121:

“That spider shouldn’t have bit you! Your friend, Peter was supposed to be Spiderman. He wasn’t supposed to die, that was your destiny! If you disrupt one more canon event, your universe will collapse and i’ll have to pick up the pieces”

This knowledge nearly destroys Gwen and the fact that all her friends knew about it, stings more. “Gwen, this if for your own good!” Miles calls out. For her own good? How? Who decides that? Gwen had no idea. In fact, Miles has been all over the place since he came to visit her. Lying about the smallest things, apparently it’s because he was hiding this from her. She knows about his situation at home, but the matter of fact is that she can’t trust him like she thought she could.

Gwen is able to fight Miguel off and escape, but not before giving Miles one last “goodbye”. Tears in her eyes and faith in him and their relationship crumbled to bits.

Film ends kind of the same way, Miles bands together a team of Spider people to right his wrong and save Gwen. Gwen is trapped in a dimension where she and her father are memorialized.

I skipped a lot but you get the gist. So with that image in your mind, how inclined do you feel to defend Miles’ actions? Would you confidently say he did nothing wrong? He didn’t mean for things to get this far, he didn’t wanna hurt her, he just didn’t want to face what was waiting for him back home. Are you defending him within an inch of your life? Is he a victim? Do you think that Gwen should just swallow her feelings of hurt and betrayal to understand where he’s coming from? The trust is gone, but is she obligated to give him the opportunity to rebuild that trust? Is he still entitled to her affections? Can you see how her feelings for him would change (even just a little)? Would you be disappointed in her if she decides not to be in relationship with him after everything is said and done? Please contemplate this and be honest. What if the roles were reversed? 🤔

#miles morales #across the spiderverse #gwen stacy #spider gwen #au #what if #spiderman atsv #earth 65 #canon event #shipping discourse

[the-deadrobin]

Jason Todd Headcannons

I will probably add more later, because I surely forgot a few.

Half of these don't make sense, but they're fun.

Jason is a huge Literature nerd and an even bigger Jane Austen fan. He's also a huge romance lover. But he likes the wholesome cutesy shit. (I also think he just loves poems) But even so, he likes Shakespeare especially the tragedies like Macbeth.

He is the only Bat Alfred allows in the kitchen. Jason used to learn to cook from/help cook with Alfred back in his Robin days. Thus he is a surprisingly good cook, second only to Alfred.

Jason smoked when he was an Alley kid before being Robin and he still smokes as Red Hood. He also smokes on rooftops while Bruce has his Galas and the press are all over it.

This one is kinda funny but I love the idea of the Wayne family being like the Kardashians of Gotham (just much more useful) and Dick and Jason are absolute heartthrobs. (I'm so going to elaborate on this with detail in another post)

The Bat-fam don't know about the all-blades, or the all-caste. Because the situation just never called for it.

Anesthesia or sedatives either don't work on him, or wear off him much faster than normal. Same with alcohol.

Being a Gothamite, a Bat, and trained with the League Of Assassins, I imagine Jason has trained himself to have immunity to poisons and toxins (mostly but not all) (I believe its called Microdosing)

Jason has that good old white tuft of hair. Whether from head trauma or the Lazarus remains a mystery.

Jason is dramatic as hell. And extremely petty too. Spite drives this man. He does everything he can (no matter how small or big it might be) to spite Bruce.

Most of his younger siblings don't prank him unless they're looking for all out war, in which him, Dick and Steph form an alliance and go batshit insane (pun not intended)

Leading me to my next point: Jason is very competitive.

He's also a horrible role model because whenever any of the siblings fight (namely Tim and Damian) he just makes shit worse and watches the chaos he helped create.

Jason is big on revenge. He has a list is all I'm saying.

Jason probably has claustrophobia (what with being stuck in a damn coffin and all that)

I think that all of the bat siblings (except Dick, because he has the Big Bro power) has a blackmail list on everyone in the house. But no one can seem to find blackmail for Jason just because Jason is so damn good at covering up what he does that even if it was obvious he did something, there'd be no evidence of it.

Which leads to the fact that I think Jason is an extremely good liar. And he uses that to make his lies really weird and borderline crazy but people still believe him because he's just so convincing. Like, whenever he lies to Bruce, Bruce just believes it. And the other batkids are in the corner like: what??? It wasn't even a convincing lie!! But then they find out about an instance Jason has pulled this shit on them and realise how believable it actually is. (And that was only when he was caught) but Jason never does this to Alfred, because no matter what Alfred can always catch his lies.

Jason regularly has tea time with Alfred. They talk about books, food, Jason's schemes to fuck with his family and Alfred secretly gives him ideas. But everyone else in the family aside from Bruce and Jason always think Alfred is this innocent old man.

Also one of my favourites is that Jason jokes about his death. A lot. Everytime he sees an opportunity he takes it. Bruce and Dick (and to some degree Tim) are so uncomfortable everytime he does it, but Steph and Damian find it the funniest thing ever. Duke has absolutely no clue why Jason keeps making these jokes about dying, because no one told the poor guy. Cass is as clueless as Duke and Babs is always caught so off guard by it. Alfred is always mortified but he doesn't show it because he knows its Jason's coping mechanism.

I wholeheartedly believe that Jason drops off the face of the Earth occasionally. He just goes completely off-grid, no one (except sometimes Roy or Steph) know how to contact him or where he went. Not a single bat can find him when he does this. And that half the time he's doing this, he's just going to the Fields Of All to hang out with Ducra and some monks, or having mother son bonding time with Talia. Then the other half he's either having a nuch needed vacation in the beach, or going on a extremely dark and broody conquest to solve a large case and ultimately failing into its rabbithole and never attempting to get out. (He hates to admit it, but it's a lot like Bruce sometimes)

When Jason is out as Jason Wayne he totally wears makeup. Either just foundation to cover up his scars, or when he's feeling it maybe some black eyeliner and eyeshadow for Galas. So almost nobody recognises him as Jason Wayne while he's in normal civvies and he can wander Gotham freely. (Unlike Dick, who has to style his hair differently, wear a cap, change his wardrobe and still gets paparazzis)

Jason regularly quotes book and poems and the only person who has a chance of understanding him is Alfred.

This whole tumblr post.

Jason died before the Internet became as huge as it is now. So, Jason is the least technologically advanced in the family. He's the equivalent of a grandfather. Barely can use a computer without yelling for someone. Goes into Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss mode upon realising the stupidity of the scenario. It drives Tim and Babs insane. More of that here.

Everyone knows he loves Wonder Woman. He has Wonder Woman clothes, a bottle, a figurine, comics, etc. Once, he got a small tattoo of her logo under his ear mainly to spite Bruce. (Because he has accepted that, that's half his life purpose at this point).

But secretly, under the Wonder Woman jackets and tucked in between the pages of the comics are Green Arrow shirts and bookmarks. Only because he knows Bruce notices these small things and it gnaws away at him because Jason has never touched Batman merch since his ressurection. Roy does the same thing but with Batman merch.

Jason and Damian met in the League Of Assassins and were pretty close before going to Gotham for entirely different reasons. No one in the family knows about this and always wonder why they can communicate so well without using a word. (They did that a lot while sneaking around Nanda Parbat so Ra's wouldn't notice).

Jason and Steph are absolute besties. They're a chaos duo who love tormenting Bruce and are practically bff soulmates. But it's strictly platonic.

He's the kind of guy who would unironically recite a monologue from Macbeth without a hit him, just to motivate his goons.

#jason todd #jason todd headcannons #idk why its so detailed #red hood #red hood headcannons

[prismasnotebook]

omg you have to do another post about nolan your last one was so goood!!!!!

Polite People - Nolan Hansen

No summary you die like men

CW: brief light angst, light swearing? pronoun/gender-less reader (I think)…I feel like this is heavy insight to how I perceive Nolan

“Why are you being so stubborn, come inside,” Nolan asked with a laugh as he stood behind you on his front porch, and it stung that he laughed. You knew he probably thought it was a bit.

“No, would you piss off,” you asked, wrapping your arms around yourself as another breeze came through.

“Hey,” he softly started placing a hand to your shoulder but you pulled away.

“I said piss off Nolan. We both know that you’re ‘just being nice’ and that you don’t really want me here.”

He pulled back and nothing was said before you could hear his footsteps retreating and the door open and closing. You let your head fall against the porches fence post, and a couple minutes later the door opened again. You wondered who would be doing damage control.

“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded,” Nolan said as a blanket dropped around your shoulders, and you tried to shove it off put he pulled it back over your shoulders. “You’re cold, stop.”

And, it made it so much worse. He was so good at being nice that he had you convinced it was genuine, but you know it wasn’t. It made your eyes sting and brim.

“Then how did you mean it? Because, from where I’m stood it sounded very evident that you’re just tolerating me. And-“ your voice lost its steadiness and you took a sharp inhale. “I get it if you don’t like me romantically, okay whatever. I can cope with that, I was already coped with that. But, I thought we were friends. I was your friend, but you- you weren’t mine. That hurts to learn Nolan.”

“No, I was- I am. I-I like you,” Nolan started and you raised your eyebrows. That would be the dead opposite of what he told Karl and Foolish literally ten minutes prior. “I do. I swear.”

“Then why tell Karl and Foolish that you’re being nice, Nolan? Why? Why tell two people who aren’t me that your just being nice to me? What’s the point in lying to them about me?”

“I didn’t- I knew you could hear okay, and I panicked. They were teasing me because they know I like you. Everyone knows I like you! But, I- I’m just nervous, and I was trying to play it off and I didn’t come across how I meant it. I’m sorry.”

“You like me? Like, like-like me?”

“Yeah,” he responded face dusting pink and you couldn’t help bury your own face in your hands.

“I’m so dramatic.”

“Well, deciding you were gonna stay out in the cold kinda was, but feeling the way you did wasn’t. I would’ve took pretty hard if you said that about me. I took it hard when you snapped at me when I came out here.”

“I’m sorry,” you apologized feeling a bit stupid and mean now as you looked at him. “If it helps, though, I like-like you too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, can’t help it you have nice smile, and face, and we’ll everything.”

He’s face burned darker and you decided to run with it while it was going good and quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek before pulling away and staring in the opposite direction. 

“Damn, Nolan’s got W rizz,” you heard an all to familiar voice call and you quickly shot you head in the direction of the living room video only for Karl and Foolish to quickly scramble away.

“I hate you guys,” Nolan called with an embarrassed laugh, and you looked back to him.

“Too make it clear, I am the one with the rizz here,” you explained as you stood up offering Nolan a hand and he took it.

“Yeah,” he said semi-defeated and you both awkwardly dropped your hands. “So, we should go in before they start making things weird right?”

“Yeah,” you agreed and Foolish and Karl didn’t need to because honestly you and Nolan did it instead. You kept space to avoid teasing but still could stop the embarrassment that came every time the two of you made eye contact until Nolan and Karl left for the store.

“I think you and Nolan are cute,” Foolish randomly said as you two were setting up for the stream the four of you were about to do. “Maybe this means we’ll hang out more too. We could stream us sometimes if you visit more often.”

You paused looking over at him, “Um, what makes you say that?”

“Well, cause you guys are together now right?”

“I mean- not exactly.”

“He told you he likes you didn’t he?”

“Yeah, he did. I just you know he didn’t really ask me on a date or anything like that. You know we’re dating, we’re just two people that like each other. I guess.”

“So, why don’t you ask him out?”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“Go, ‘Hey, Nolan, let’s go on a date sometime.’ And, he’ll go ‘okay’. And, that’s it.”

“Insightful, Foolish,” you deadpanned and he let out a laugh as he looked at you.

“Well, it’s not like it complicated. You like each other and you want to go on a date, ask him. Then, after that ask him to be your boyfriend and we can all hangout together more!”

“Okay Foolish, I’ll ask him out for your sake,” you joked and he smiled finding his seat and at that exact time you heard a door shut and your stomach dropped, and Foolish’s eyes widened in excitement as he looked at you. And, your stomach dropped.

Not long later Karl and Nolan’s laughter could be heard as they made they’re way to the two of you, and you stood up straighter and Foolish pushed your shoulders down as he walked past you.

“Hey, Karl, help me with something right quick.”

Smooth, Foolish. Real subtle. Totally not like everyone in the room didn’t know the previous events of the day.

You and Nolan just looked at each other for a couple of seconds, “So what did you get from the store?”

“Go on a date with me,” he blurted in response and your eyes widened. “Oh, uh sorry. Just some drinks and snacks, other things Karl got.”

“Cool,” you nodded trying to bite back your smile some, “and, I would love go on a date with you.”

The giggle managed to escape you seconds after answering though and Nolan smiled at the sound of it. “You’re cute.”

“Oh, shut up.” You rolled your eyes knowing good and well you heart was doing a kick flip and fell back into Foolish’s gaming chair and starting the stream with him and Karl to see how long it would take them to catch on and come back.

#nolanhansen #nolan hansen #x reader #fluff #karl jacobs #mrbeast crew #mrbeast #Nolan Hansen x reader

[ughgoaway]

So glad that you’re feeling up to writing! Have we seen Matty and teacher’s first fight? Feeling angsty today. Or if you’re feeling more fluff, maybe first time they have to build something together and she’s trying to focus on the directions and well we know how that prob goes….

ahh, thank you, my love! and omg, I love both of these concepts, so I am gonna talk briefly about both of them hehehe.

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The first fight would definitely be tour-related, I think. Matty is stressed at the idea of leaving you after you've only just got together. Time apart is hard for any relationship, let alone a new one. But Matty doesn't communicate that. He just mopes around and keeps on starting petty fights. He's trying to avoid you a little bit, too. If he starts spending less time with you now, then it won't be as bad when he really goes.

He thinks that if you're fighting before he leaves, he won't miss you as much, and it won't be as hard. He's wrong, of course, and if he said that to anyone, they would tell him that. But he hasn't told anyone that thought process because he knows that, and he needs to live in denial a little longer.

And if you're honest, you're freaking out, too. But in a very different way to Matty. You're just scared of how much you're gonna miss him. So you want to spend as much time with him as you can. Which doesn't work so well when he's trying to avoid you.

One week before tour is when it finally boils over. It's 11 pm. when Matty gets home, and you're kinda done with him. So you’re waiting on the sofa when he comes in. He drops his jacket on the kitchen chair and sits next to you with a huff, rubbing his eyes with his hands and sighing heavily. 

So, in the weeks coming up to the tour, it's weird. Matty is leaving home early and arriving late, claiming it is tour practice, but you know that the other boys are home way before him. You try to cuddle with him in bed, but he gives you a quick squeeze and rolls back over.

But you rationalise it to yourself by telling him he's more involved as a creative director, so maybe that's why he's home at odd times and is acting off. You choose to ignore the fact that he comes home smelling of wine and someone else's perfume.

You don't beat around the bush, “are you cheating on me.” You ask bluntly, facing Matty with a blank look on your face. 

Matty choked on the air immediately, coughing out his answer as quickly as he could, “What? No. why would you think that?” he looked at you with wide eyes, and he could tell you were on edge and trying to keep a strong facade up still.

“You've been avoiding me for weeks. You’re leaving for tour next week, and every time I try to spend time with you, you fob me off.” Matty tries to cut in and defend himself, but a sharp look from you shuts him up. 

“And you come home smelling like a bar and some random woman. So please, just be honest with me, Matty. I can't do this anymore. Im exhausted.” Your eyes are glassy with unshed tears. The wall you had tried to build was quickly crumbling as you just became more desperate for an explanation. 

Matty feels his heart shatter as soon as he sees the tears forming in your eyes, and he cracks immediately. “I promise im not cheating on you. I could never do that to you. I've just been freaking out about leaving you when I go on tour. I know my job is hard to cope with, and my leaving for months at a time doesn't help. It’s practically ruined every relationship I've ever had, and I just can't cope with losing you” Matty pours his heart out as he speaks, dropping his head in his hands and rubbing his face. "And it's just some random perfume I found in the studio, I was trying to cover up the fact that I've been chain smoking cigarettes. didn't want to freak you out."

“Oh,” Matty says dumbly, trying to process how you can always be so mature and adult in situations like this. 

You sigh in relief at his words, but can't help yourself from blueting out what you really think. “Well thats stupid.” You say bluntly. Matty shoots up and looks at you confused for a few seconds until you keep talking.

“Matty, I came into this relationship knowing what you do. I knew tour would happen, and I knew everything that would come with being with you. And I still wanted to, because I care about you.” You pull one of Matty's hands away from ringing together and hold it in your stroking the back of his hand with your thumb. 

“Yeah, oh,” you repeat, giggling at Matty's choice of words, or more choice of word. He smiles at your laughter and pulls you into his side. You settle in quite happily, laying your head on his chest and looking up at him. 

“M’sorry for freaking out on you. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I promise to talk to you about it if I do.” You nod at Matty, leaning up to peck his lips and coming back down with a content smile on your face. 

“Thats okay,” you start, “now. We have like 3 episodes of bake off to watch because you've been avoiding me, so can we watch them now? I want to see susan fuck up pastry week and laugh at her with you."

Matty laughs and nods happily, flicking on the tv and pulling a blanket over the both of you, humming as you both settle into the sofa.

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Now, as far as building stuff together, I think you managed to avoid it for a good couple of years. Until you're pregnant, and it's time to build baby Healy’s nursery. 

Matty is on the floor and is flipping around the ikea booklet, trying to figure out which way is up. You're sitting on the chair behind him, trying to secretly google a YouTube tutorial despite his many protests. 

“Wait. That's part b? I thought that was part d?” You hear Matty mumble to himself, and you can't help but burst out laughing at his words. 

Matty looks at you, annoyed before whining and moving the floor to come and sit in front of you with the book in his hands. “You're a teacher. Can you teach me how to read again? Apparently, I've forgotten how.” he pouts and rests his head on your thigh, looking up at you with a mopey face. 

“Mm, im not sure I can. Why don't we just hire someone, baby? What's the point of being rich if you don't use your money to do things you don't wanna do” you say, stroking his hair and fiddling with the ringlets.

“But I wanna build it for them. For Annie, my dad built everything because I was busy freaking out every five minutes. Thought I could build something for this one” Matty explains, placing his hand on your bump.

You didn't actually need to build anything yet. You've still got almost half of your pregnancy left, so there's time. But when Matty puts his mind to something, he's doing it. 

You hum thoughtfully as Matty continues to stroke your bump, and suddenly, you feel a weird flutter you haven't felt before. You scrunch your face and look down to Matty, who is staring at your bump with wide eyes.

“Did you feel that too? It felt weird. Maybe my acid reflux is back or something” You had been having a hard time with heartburn your whole pregnancy, and assumed it was that again. But Matty sitting up and placing his ear against your stomach tells you it must be something different.

“What are you doing? Matty-” You try to figure out what your boyfriend is playing at, but Matty holds his hand up and shushes you. 

“Wait stop talking for a sec.” You pause and huff at being told not to talk, but that fluttery feeling comes again, and before you can question it, Matty pulls away from you with a gasp.

“They're kicking! That's what that feeling is. They're kicking. C'mon, feel.” Matty grabs your hand and holds it to your stomach, and soon enough, you feel a pair of tiny feet pressing against your hand.

Your jaw drops, and you look down at Matty, whose eyes are glassy. He has a massive smile on his face as he places his hand over yours, watching your bump as you both feel your baby kicking for the next 10 minutes. You are both silent apart from the odd gasp when you feel them kick again. 

Matty soon takes his hand off you and grabs the IKEA booklet again, determined to make this crib with no help. And you don't try and get him to give up this time, sitting back and watching happily as he sticks his tongue out to focus as he builds.

#first fight and building a baby nursery in one post #talk about emotional whiplash #these might be kinda bad as i do feel a little delusional today #not enough sleep combined with mental illness is a funny thing #ask! #teacher au!