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#his face was the last thing I embroidered before my hands got too bad
hangmanssunnies · 2 years
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A Letter From The Past
Summary: On the day of your wedding, the last thing you expected to hear is your groom Rooster Bradshaw is freaking out and having jitters. You want to talk to him and help him with whatever it is he needs. Though you also never thought you would be crying this much reading a letter from Carole Bradshaw.
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Pairings: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw X Reader, and Minor Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Natasha "Phoenix" Trace.
Fandom: Top Gun: Maverick 
Word count: 5k
Warnings: Angst, Comfort, wedding jitters, drinking mentioned, dead parents mentioned. Best Friend Hangman.
A/N: The reader's call sign is Malibu Barbie, I think in this they all call her Malibu. I was crying too much to finish editing. I hope you like it. There will most likely be more parts about the wedding ceremony and then the reception. Let me know what you think and if you're interested in more parts.
Jake “Hangman” Seresin took his job as the man of honor very seriously, and it wasn’t just because his girlfriend Natasha “Phoenix” Trace was the best lady at this wedding. Really there was in no possible way a competition happening between them on who was the better best friend. That was why he laughed in her face when she had first come knocking to tell him there was a situation that they needed to deal with, as soon as possible.
  🌺 🌺 🌺
“Listen, Malibu, I have good news and bad news.”
Your eyes immediately snapped open. The makeup artist who was in front of you stepped back as well, making a small huffing sound but not complaining. Jake was in front of you, biting his lip and looking absolutely ridiculous in his robe, which had Man of honor embroidered on it. Jake was your wingman, best friend, and the obvious choice for your maid of honor. He got stuff done, was organized, and well, the best at whatever he put his mind to. You had one of the best bachelorette parties you could have imagined, thanks to him planning out the Vegas trip. So anything bad happening on your wedding day, paired with Phoenix as best lady, and the amazing event planner you hired, had never crossed your mind.
“Why is there bad news on my wedding day, Hangman?” You ask him, trying to remain calm and not make any facial features that would affect the half finished makeup you were wearing.
“Well, let’s start with the good news,” He pressed a freshly made mimosa into your hands, made exactly the way you liked it. “A fresh mimosa for the beautiful bride to help with your nerves.”
“Jake, how much help am I going to need? Because you’re making it sound like I should be downing some shots right now. Did the flowers not get here? Is someone dead or in jail? Is Maverick blacked out and fell down the stairs, so I have to find a new officiant?” The longer he waited to tell you, the more your mind started to spiral into the possible things that could be wrong.
You sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm down. Jake’s hand was heavy on your shoulder as he pushed you to take a sip of the new drink. “Malibu. Malibu, calm down. Hey, take a drink and take a breath.” He used the same tone he would like if you were to be up in the air, which helped ground you. “I actually unloaded your bouquet this morning, and it is absolutely stunning. Now, remember to breathe. It’s nothing that bad, but, Rooster is freaking out.”
Your heart rate instantly increased instead of calming down, hearing the callsign of your fiancé, soon-to-be husband. Rooster was known for being a pretty level-headed goofy, loving man who did exceptionally under pressure and stress. He was your rock in the storm most of the time; you hadn’t ever even considered the possibility he would freak out.
You had wanted to spend the night before the wedding together with him, but he wanted to have the traditional night apart. So you hadn’t seen him since the end of the rehearsal dinner the night before or all morning setting things up and getting ready. “Oh my god, that’s so much worse. Is he here?” You managed to ask, standing up from the chair and striding towards the door.
Hangman was right on your heel, already reaching to stop you from launching yourself out of the room and down to the groom's suite. He put his hand on the door when you tried to pull it open. “Yes, he is here. He is just freaking out, though. Maverick is trying to calm him down.”
“I don’t think Pete is the best idea for that." You snap back, pulling on the door harder. “Where’s Nat? Where’s Bob?” You asked, questions swirling around you.
“Malibu,” Jake called again, but you were ignoring him now. “Y/N,” he said again, taking his hands off the door to shake you lightly. This finally caught your attention, and you stopped trying to open the door.
“Take a deep breath with me.” You followed his advice breathing in and out. The rest of your bridal party all stopping getting ready, and watched the exchange with worried eyes.
“I need to go see him.”
“You aren’t ready for first looks yet, and neither is he.”
“What kind of freaking out is he doing? Am I about to get left at the altar or what?” You asked, trying to maintain calm.
“It’s hard to explain,” Jake told you. Without another word, you broke from his grasp and threw open the door of the bridal suite, not even bothering to adjust your robe and tighten it around yourself. However, Natasha was standing on the other side.
“Malibu,” she gave you a tight smile. “You look absolutely stunning.”
“Phoenix, how is Bradley? Where is he?”
“Yes, well, I was worried Hangman wouldn’t be able to contain you, so I’m here for interference. Before I can go check on him again.”
You glared at the other woman, but she didn’t budge, and now Hangman was at your back. The couple was boxing you in. “I want to see him."
“Yeah, sorry, sweetheart. That’s not going to happen yet. You will both thank us later.” Jake said from behind you.
“I won’t be thanking anyone if Brad is freaking out so much we don’t get married today.” You snap back. “I want to see him.”
The couple made eye contact over your shoulder, having a silent conversation you couldn’t begin to decipher. Finally, it was Pheonix who grounded you. She straightened out your robe so it was a bit more proper looking. “How about this? Jake and I will figure it out. You don’t need to worry.”
“No, I want to talk to Brad,” you said, hysteria and worry starting to claw in you. “I need to because now I’m going to start freaking out.”
Hangman jumped back into the fray of the conversation, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and turning you back to the bridal suite. “Okay, Nat and I will figure out a way for you and Rooster to talk. And no, you are not getting your phones back. So why don’t you get your hair finished up, and keep going with the makeup.”
“Yeah. We will make it happen, Y/N. There's nothing for you to worry about.” Natasha said, helping guide you back into the room.
“I’m worried now. I'm about to be the one freaking out.” You reminded them. You held up your thumb and index finger, keeping them a little apart in a demonstration. "This close, you guys." 
Even with that being said, they didn’t leave your side until you were back in the chair, and Jake had watched you take at least two more sips of the mimosa he had brought.
“Where's the photographer?” You asked, feeling panicked about every little detail now. No longer able to access the relaxed state you had been in five minutes ago.
“They aren’t scheduled to get here for another 45 minutes,” Jake said, giving you one of his stellar smiles, which helped calm you down a bit. Then he gave a light kiss on your forehead. “Hey, I’m your wingman and even more importantly, your man of honor. I’ve got this all taken care of. Give us a little bit of time, and you can talk to Rooster.”
Despite Hangman’s famous tendency to leave people behind in the air to be the best, you did trust him wholeheartedly. You also trusted Pheonix, who was nodding along with her boyfriend in support.                    
“Okay,” you conceded. With that, the two of them were out the door, and the rest of your bridal party rushed in to help calm you down.
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“Telling her was not the best idea Nat,” Hangman said as soon as the door had closed behind them.
“We couldn’t not tell her. Rooster is really, really freaking out. I never would have expected that from him. I was hoping that she would have ideas on how to calm him down.”
Jake groaned. “Babe, now both of them are freaking out.”
“Time for us to come up with a plan and do some damage control.”
The groom's suite was on the other side of the venue, and they were almost there. Jake did not care about at the looks he was getting from wearing the robe he currently had on from some of the caters and staff of the venue.
“They are going to roast you alive for that robe in there,” Pheonix said, stopping at the door to the groom's suite.
“I don’t care. They are just jealous I am best man and that they don’t have robes.”
“Man of honor.” Natasha corrected him while shaking her head. She stopped him before he could open the door. With her hand tightened in the collar of the robe, Natasha pressed a quick kiss to his lips. When he followed her for another, she pulled away. “That was for my nerves,” she told him.
“Sweetheart, we are going to figure this out. There ain't a team better than us in the world.” Jake said with a drawl cupping her face and stealing another kiss. She laughed at him and shoved his chest.
“Except Rooster and Malibu,”
“Yeah, that’s true. Today, Rooster and Malibu are allowed to have us beat, but just barely.”
Stealing one more peck, Nat opened the door to the groom's suite then. Jake sauntered in like he wasn’t stressed out, but she could see some of his smaller tells.
“Never fear, Hangman is here,” he called out, supporting a cocky grin.
It took approximately five seconds before half the room broke into laughter seeing the other aviator. All of Rooster's groomsmen and ladies, except one of his close friends from UVA -- Daniel, were also in the Navy. And given the nature of their friend groups, they knew Hangman. Even Daniel had met Jake during the bachelor party.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Javy asked, doubled over in laughter.
“Coyote shut up. Now’s not the time,” Jake quickly brushed his friend off, scanning the room for Rooster. “Where is Bradshaw? If he ran off, Malibu will kill him, and when she is done, then I will kill him again.”
“He locked himself in that closest,” Daniel Hamm said, pointing to the door most of the guys were standing by. Natasha breezed past them all straight to the door knocking on it. Maverick shook his head in wain at her attempt, having already tried.
“Thanks Radio,” Hangman said, rolling his eyes and grabbing a beer from the fridge before he joined the crowd around the door. 
“Bradshaw,” she said in a serious voice, hearing nothing from the other side. “Come on, buddy you can talk to us.”
“Leave me alone,” She finally heard Rooster's voice from inside.
“Bradley, you aren’t eight years old. You can’t lock yourself in a closet,” Maverick said, shaking his head. Pheonix shot him a glare. He really wasn’t helping anything. Jake shoved the Mav out of the way.
“Maverick, you really have heart, but why don’t you sit this one out sir.” Then Jake knocked on the door three times.
“Bradshaw, it’s Seresin.”
“Why are you here?”
“Listen buddy,” Jake started to say but was quickly cut off.
“You’re supposed to be with Y/N. Is she okay?” The panic in Bradley’s voice only increased, and Pheonix smacked the back of Jake’s head in punishment. He winced and grabbed the offending hand so she wouldn’t be able to smack him again. Turning to the rest of the guys crowding them in around the closet, he glared.
“Hey, can you guys give us a little space?”
“Roost do you want to talk to Malibu? She wants to talk to you, and Jake and I can make it happen.” Phoenix asked.
“I’m not ready to see her.”
“No, no seeing involved yet. She is still getting ready. But you can still talk to her. Would that help you out?” Jake cut in.
“Is she okay?”
“Well, to be honest, no. Not really, buddy. It would help her a lot to talk with you. That’s why I’m down here.” If there was anything that could override Rooster’s own panic, it would be concern and protectiveness over you.
There was silence on the other side of the door. Natasha gave Jake the thumbs up before speaking to the door again. “You can’t talk to her from this closet, though.”
A full minute passed, and then the door to the closet opened. Bradley had hunched his too tall form to fit in, and he was still wearing the casual outfit he had shown up in that morning. He did not look his best. Everyone else in the room cheered at the sight of him, and he cracked a small grin. The stress was clearly still bubbling under the surface of that smile.
“Bro, what the fuck are you wearing?” Rooster asked when he set eyes on Hangman's plush Man of honor robe, which made everyone laugh again.
“Y’all are just jealous that Phoenix didn’t get you robes. I got everyone robes on the bride’s side, and we are living in luxury. While y’all are bumming it.”
“Can I talk to Malibu now?”
“No, we have to get stuff set up.”
Natasha jumped in then, “You just got to give us twenty minutes. In the meantime, I want you guys to shotgun some of those beers.” Everyone gave another cheer, and Brad forced another smile on his face.
Phoenix quickly shut the door to the closet again so there wouldn’t be another disappearing act. She grabbed her WSO’s arm too. “Bob listen to me, don’t let him back into that closet. And maybe try and get him into something besides those ratty joggers and wife beater. I know that the wedding is still for a while, and you guys take 20 minutes to get dressed but at least get him in a Hawaiian shirt and some slacks or something.”
Bob nodded his head, and she smiled, knowing that he wouldn't let her down. Making sure all the guys were rallying around Bradley, she headed back out the door where Hangman was waiting.
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“Okay, princess. What is our game plan?”
“We need somewhere they can easily talk but can’t see each other.”
They both started to think of different places in the venue that would work for what they needed to accomplish. 
“What about the bathroom? We put one of them in the stall so they can’t see each other.”
“That’s a terrible idea, Jake.”
“Fine, what about an open window and a curtain?”
“That’s better,” Pheonix conceded and then looked up from where they were standing.
The venue was absolutely beautiful, it was two parts. The second half of the reception and dinner was going to take place in the boat house where they currently were. And the second part of the venue was the riverboat. That was where the ceremony and a cocktail hour would be,  before coming back to the boathouse. Overlooking the beach and water where the boat was docked was a balcony. On a small middle floor that was mostly storage and a few extra empty rooms, they hadn’t been planning on using. It had a set of huge french doors opening up onto the balcony. 
“Jake, what if we open up those doors and pull out the curtains so that they don’t have to see each other. It will give them some privacy, and they will be able to still talk.”
He followed her gaze and started nodding his head. "You are absolutely brilliant, Trace."
They both quickly made their way up to the room and started to open the french doors and set out two chairs. They also stood on each side to test it, making sure it would work for their little plan. Once they had confirmed this, they both went to collect their side of the couple.
“Okay, you are bringing in Rooster first, and then I’ll bring in Malibu.”
“Yes,” Pheonix confirmed. They were about to split again when they noticed the photographer approach them.
“Hi, I am here for the pictures. Are they ready to do some getting ready ones?”
“Hi, sweetheart,” Jake said, giving her one of his signature smiles. “There is actually a bit of a change, to our schedule. The couple is about to have a chat on that balcony.” He pointed up to it so that she would be able to see.
“First looks aren’t scheduled for another hour and a half,” the photographer said, checking her watch, a bit panicked that they had changed the schedule up on her.
“They aren’t doing first looks yet. They just need to have a talk,” Natasha said kindly. “So please feel free to get your camera set up and photograph all the decor and anything like that you need to, and the coordinator DeeDee should be around here somewhere as well.
"Also, maybe pictures of them up there on the balcony if you can manage it," Jake added. That’s all the two gave the poor woman before dashing off.
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The entire time Jake had been gone and your makeup was being finished up, you hadn’t been able to ease the tension coiling in you. When Jake told you the plan and brought you to the balcony, retreating to the other side with Phoenix, waiting until you both calmed down and were done talking.
You could see the shadow of Bradley pacing on his side of the balcony when you stepped out onto yours. Also, hearing the steady rhythm of his feet. Only barely able to make out his shape through the illuminated curtain but not actually able to see him.
“Brad?” You called out.
“Baby,” you heard him say, and his pacing stopped.
“Honey, are you okay? What’s going on? Jake said you were freaking out but didn’t give me any details.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? Okay," you took a moment, trying to organize your thoughts. "Are you having doubts about me? About us? Is it anything I did?”
“No. It's not you. You're perfect,” he said quietly.
“Okay, that's good. Well, what happened when you first started freaking out?”
“I got a letter.”
“A letter?”
“Yeah.”
You sighed heavily and situated yourself into the chair that was on your side, realizing that it was going to be a slow conversation. A slow conversation was fine. You would do anything for Bradley, talk for hours, even put off this wedding if that was what he needed.
“I will sit here and wait all day. I don’t want you to feel pressure, but sweetheart, my Rooster, you can talk to me. We talk. Us getting married today won’t change that.” 
There was silence from his end, and you saw his shadow start to pace again. “We are getting married, and I don’t even know how to be married. I haven’t seen one good marriage in my life. I don’t even really remember my parent's marriage. I just know the stories my mom would tell me.”
“Being married won’t really change our relationship, not really. The biggest thing is that the Navy is going to have to do their best to station us together now. But if you don’t want to get married today, we don’t actually have to.” You said, taking a moment to think about his words.
“Last night, Mav gave me a box, and I didn’t think anything of it. I thought it was just an early wedding gift. I wanted to get as much rest as possible, so I saved it to open until this morning. Then I opened it up, and there was a letter. From my mother.”
"Oh Brad,” you gasp and put your hand over your mouth.
“It says to my Bradley on his wedding day. She wrote me all these letters when she got sick. I thought I had read the last of them, years ago. But I guess she gave this one to Mav to keep for me. I can’t,” his voice broke, and you watched his shadow slump against the wall. “I can’t read it,” he finally finished.
You couldn’t stand not seeing him or holding him in your arms. You reached for the curtain separating you from him. You started to pull on it so you could see him, but his hand held it firm so you couldn’t reveal him to your wanting eyes. You saw his hand and grabbed it, threading your fingers together.
“Baby, it’s a silly wedding tradition. It doesn’t matter if I’m all dressed up yet. Let me hold you please, “ you begged him.
“I do care. I sure as hell am not ever marrying anyone else, baby. So, I want the full experience. I’m sorry I waited until the morning of our wedding to have a breakdown about what marriage means to me.”
You stroked your thumb across the back of his hand soothingly. “Do you have it?”
“Have what?”
“The letter with you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to read it for you? Or we can save it if you would like.”
He didn’t say anything, and you waited for him, not prompting him or pressuring him to share that special document with you. Just allowing him time and space to make the choice and make sure he knew you were there for him.
Then a small box just longer than a folded letter and an inch or so deep was pushed to your side of the balcony. “Will you read it to me? And don’t edit anything out no matter what she said. “
“Of course.” You opened the box and on top of some tissue paper was a letter with elegant handwriting. With shaking fingers, you let go of Bradley's hand and picked up the letter to open it and start reading.
🌺🌺🌺
To My Bradley on his wedding day. 
Dear Bradley,
You’re getting married. What a wonderful, joyous occasion. You were the light of my life when your father passed away, and now you have found someone who I hope is the light of yours. I hope you know I am there with you every day, Bradley. That I am with you right now reading this letter. Even if you can’t hear us, your father and I are going to be cheering louder than anyone at the ceremony. I know your father would have had all kinds of manly husbandly advice for you. I am so sorry I can’t leave that for you. However, I can tell you some of the things we valued in our marriage. I can also tell you that Nick is so proud of you, Bradley Bradshaw. 
I know I raised you right and that you know how to treat a partner, but I still wanted to give you some advice. Don’t you ever take anything for granted, not a single moment with your wife. Not one night in bed together, holding hands while walking, not doing chores, or going grocery shopping. Treasure them all; even when you get into fights, which will happen, they are unavoidable. We don’t know how much time we all get here on this earth. While I am hoping you and your future wife live the longest happiest lives together, I don’t want you to have any regrets if that's not the case. When you really love someone, no amount of time, not even forever, is enough. Never leave each other's side without a kiss and saying I love you. Open that whole beautiful heart of yours and love without reservations Bradley. 
I am sure your father and I would love your wife. I’m confident that she is kind and beautiful and everything I had always dreamed of in a future daughter-in-law. I hope she is goofy and makes you laugh. I hope she loves you as much as I loved your father and understands the man you grew up to be. I left a little gift for her in this box, so that she knows how much we already love her and that I’m there for her today too. Please give it to her before the wedding. 
I am going to ask that you and your wife support each other through any hardship life throws in your way. Nothing feels better than the hand of the person you love in yours when you’re in the middle of a storm. Treat each other with love, respect, and kindness. Live your life together in every sense you can: laugh together, sing in the car together, and cry together. It isn’t just love that holds up a marriage; it’s dedication, partnership, and most importantly, honesty. Don’t stop dating or having fun just because you have tied the knot. Go out on the town and take trips, live life together. Keep getting lost in each others’ eyes, just in case they’ve changed since you last checked. 
While you are committing yourself to be one part of a whole, I want you to still have friends and family to go to when problems arise, they will always have an open ear. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for support from each other or the people who love you. But always listen to your heart when making decisions. I love you, Bradley. We will always be there as you walk anywhere. To your new wife, we will be walking with her, too. 
Welcome your wife to the family with a big Bradshaw hug from us. 
Sending you more love than you can imagine, 
Mom and your Dad too. 
 🌺 🌺 🌺
Bradley had openly started sobbing during the first paragraph, and you had started crying reading the letter too. You didn’t care about the makeup you were wearing at all. You had held the pages away from you so that none of the tears would spill and ruin the letter. When you had been able to take a few more breaths, you carefully folded it up again and put it back in the envelope. 
You reached your hand around the other side of the curtain again. Rooster quickly grabbed it and gave it a kiss, his face was wet from tears, and you felt the tickle of his mustache on your wrist. 
“That was a beautiful letter,” you finally told him, breaking the bubble of silence from when you finished reading. You couldn’t keep your voice from breaking.
“We are already crying together.”
“Yes, we are.”
“What’s in the box?”
You pulled out the tissue paper with your available hand. Inside there were two long white ribbons, each of a different material. A small note card also baring Carole’s handwriting, it was short. It told you one of the ribbons was from Carole’s own wedding dress and the other she had made from Nick’s dress whites. Then there was a small blue glass flower hairpin. The gifts made you start crying again as you told Bradley what was inside. Then you pushed the box with the gifts and the letter back over to him so that he could see.
“She would have loved you. They would have loved you,” he said. His voice breaking. Another sob wrecked through him, and you felt his body shake just from holding his hand.
“Put a hand over your eyes, Bradley.”
“What?”
“Close your eyes and put a hand over them. No peaking.”
He let go of your hand then, and you waited a few more moments. Then you pushed the french door. Just before you could see Bradley, you closed your own eyes too. It only took you a moment of feeling around before reaching his side and wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug.
He hugged you back just as fiercely, pressing his wet face into your neck and shoulder against the plush robe you were wearing. You felt him mouthing something into your skin, and your hand found his hair running through it soothingly.
“What’s that?” you ask him gently.
“Thank you, thank you. I love you,” he kept muttering it into your skin, over and over loud enough now that you could hear it. After that, the two of you just held each other for a few minutes until your breathing leveled out again, and Bradley stopped crying.
“How are you feeling?”
He squeezed you extra tight then. “I’m good, thanks to you. I’m sorry for freaking out and worrying you. And throwing off today’s whole schedule.”
“There is nothing to apologize for,” you reassured him. “It’s our day. We can do whatever we want. Plus, this is obviously Pete’s fault for not telling you about the letter,” you said light-heartedly.
“Hashtag everything's Mav’s fault.” Rooster said with a chuckle. It was a hashtag they made up on Bradley's bachelor party that had just stuck.
He pressed a delicate kiss to your throat, and you were tempted to open your eyes and find his lips. However, he pulled away from you before you could.
“Okay baby. Thank you. I love you. I’m not peaking. We both need to get ready. I will see you soon, though, for first look pictures.”
“I love you too.”
You scooted away from him and opened your eyes to find the door and situate it between you two again. “I’m going to leave. I’ll send Natasha in for you, is that okay?” 
“Yes,” he said. His voice was the steadiest and most like normal you had heard all day.
“Also, I don’t want you to feel any pressure to wear these gifts from my Mom,” He told you, holding the box out around the door. You gently pulled it from his grasp, noting that the letter wasn’t in it anymore, but the ribbons and pin were.
“I will be wearing them. You couldn’t stop me. This is a gift from my mother-in-law, you know.” You joked but held the box close to your chest. It was true; even if it didn’t match your wedding’s aesthetics, they were beautiful gifts, and you would never throw something so sweet and thoughtful to the side like that.
Rooster didn’t say anything more, and you made your way out to the door. When you opened it, you were greeted by the sight of Jake pressed up against the far wall of the hallway. Natasha slotted in between his legs, the two of them making out.
You cleared your throat twice before they broke apart. Neither of them even looked embarrassed, which just made you laugh and clutch the box a little closer to your chest.
“Everyone knows I am the captain of the Hannix ship, but it is my wedding day, you guys. Please try and keep it in your pants and robes for a few more hours.”
“Is everything good?” Natasha asked, brushing off your comment with little more than a smile.
“Yeah, everything’s good,” You confirm. “Rooster’s waiting for you to grab him once I’m out of eyesight.
“Good,” Jake said. He couldn’t help himself from pressing one more kiss to Nat’s lips before he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and started to guide you away. “We have to completely redo your makeup. I had no idea you could even cry this hard. One of your eyelashes is falling off.”
You rolled your eyes at him but leaned into his side. Excitement for the rest of the day to unfold was bubbling in you. Staring at the gifts from Carole, you started to plan how you were going to incorporate them into the day.
Phoenix went to grab Rooster when you two had disappeared from sight and found him holding a letter, tears falling from his eyes again. She had to resist the internal urge to make fun of him for crying. There wasn’t anything wrong with a man crying, despite what people thought. Natasha being someone who made sure she could always fit in with the guys, was guilty of holding others to the stereotype. Even more so from her time in the military.
“How you doing, Bradshaw?” She asked kindly.
He quickly folded the letter and whipped a few tears on the white Hawaiian-themed shirt that Bob had forced him into. “I’m good. Ready to get ready. I promise I’m done crying for the day.”
Natasha laughed and held out a hand, helping him to his feet. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Rooster. You’re a big softie. We both know you’re going to cry when Malibu walks down the aisle, and probably during first looks too.”
And as per usual, Phoenix was completely correct.
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babybluebex · 2 years
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headcanons of boyfriend!joseph quinn pls? 💕
AH yes finally, i can gush about my boyfriend!joe hc's bc i have a LOT of them
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first of all he's such a cuddle bug
waking up next to him and he's so warm and he's still sleepy
wrapping you up in his big arms and tugging you into his body and kissing your back as he mumbles "good morning, my love"
he loves holding you and feeling your (not so) steady heartbeat
he syncs his breathing to yours when he's holding you
getting him up and out of bed is a feat
"joe... joe honey you've gotta get up"
*grumble grumble* "don't wanna"
"too bad, you've gotta"
and he's dramatic and rolls his eyes "fine fine"
he also is super into small gestures
like he'll buy you flowers bc "i walked past the vendor on the street and they made me think about you"
he'll let you have the last bite of dinner
lots of little hugs and kisses "just because"
he likes to have your face in his hands and he admires you for a minute before he leans in and gently kisses you
you ask him what that about and he shrugs "just admiring my woman"
he likes little pet names and bc he's british they all sound so lovely
calls you love and darling, and you're his all the time, his love or his darling
just a hint of possessiveness, not enough to be toxic but enough to be cute
you got him a special kitchen apron for his birthday that has his name embroidered on it and he adores it, thinks its the coolest gift ever
he's very much the boyfriend to cook dinner for you and slow dance with you in the kitchen
he has a whole spotify playlist dedicated to just dancing in the kitchen, and it's a bunch of 40s music and some sweet love songs
he's got his arms around you and slowly swaying to the music, and he buries his face in your neck and lightly kisses it
he said in an interview that he likes to cook and in my head that translates to him being a bomb ass cook
like every dinner he makes you is delicious
he'll always ask how you like it and you can tell he's a little unsure of himself, so you assure him that it's great
the relieved little smile he does
sitting on the couch and watching tv with him, his arm is around your shoulders and he's lightly rubbing your arm as you yawn
cuddling up on his chest and he kisses your head "get all comfy, love"
he'll carry you to bed if you fall asleep on the couch
changing directions, but he likes seeing you wear his shirts and stuff
if he wakes up before you (usually doesn't, he usually sleeps in) he likes seeing you pad into the front room in his shirt and your panties, yawning and rubbing your head
pulls you into his lap and kisses your cheek and you're mumbly "you're up early"
"yeah, couldn't sleep... do you want some tea?"
he'll text you throughout the day, just little things
i also hc that he does the double xx after every message
"what are you thinking for dinner xx"
"{insert song here} started playing at the shop, made me think of you xx"
when he has to go away for his job, he'll leave you one of his favorite shirts bc he knows you like to cuddle them
he'll facetime you whenever he can, even if it's weird times for him
like if it's 3am where he is and you're sitting down for dinner, he'll wake up and talk with you and be with you
(what he doesn't tell you is that he never actually fell asleep, he's been up all night, so excited to see you)
he'll call you from the makeup trailer and introduce you to his costars and the makeup crew and he's so pleased to be like "this is my girl :)"
seeing him in a costume that's so unlike his usual self, like seeing eddie was a shock bc it's so different
"what do you think? do you like it?"
"aw, joey, you're so handsome... will you grow your hair out like that?"
"for you? i might. i hate it, though, gets in my mouth"
"well don't do something you hate, babe!"
"but i'd do it if you wanted me to 🥺"
UGH his big ole eyes
they're KILLERS
when he asks you for something he'll employ his big ole doe eyes bc he knows you can't say no to him
not that you ever would but yknow
big eyes mcgee over here
i like have to cut myself off here before i overload this post with headcanons, but there's some hehe
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natspookie · 10 months
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fearless
inspired by sam and monica on tiktok hehe natasha romanoff x fem reader :))
☆ summary : tony challenges natasha to prank you by judging you the worst way possible, your taylor swift concert outfit.
☆ a/n, i switch to “y/n” and “you” every now and then soooo thats the same thingy and i haven’t written in a longggggg time and not proofread
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
It had been y/n’s birthday last week when Natasha surprised her with floor standing tickets to Taylor Swift, or “mother” as y/n says. Since then, y/n had been talking non-stop about what to wear since the concert was already the next week.
Sat on the compound’s stool eating her sandwich with some Avengers while you were training, the topic of the concert came up.
“Hey Nat, why don’t you prank y/n about her outfit being bad?” Tony prompted from the fridge, raising a glass of water to his mouth.
“Now why would I do that?” Natasha raised a brow, looking up from some book she was reading, recommended by y/n.
“C’mon sestra, didn’t you say you’ve always wanted to prank someone?” Yelena chimed from the couch with her Nintendo.
“I don’t even know what she’s going to wear and she’s been so excited about this concert” Natasha frowned
“You’re too soft for Y/n” Tony laughed taking a seat beside her
“i’m not!… Ok maybe a little” Natasha groaned standing up… This couldn’t be too bad, right?
The day of the concert and the prank itself, Natasha had an internal fight whether she could do this but the teasing face of tony flashed her mind, she could do this.. just this once.
natasha was wearing a black tanktop and your taylor swift cardigan since you insisted it was unacceptable to show up to a taylor swift concert without much thought, not that natasha minded giving into your pleas.
she sat on the couch in your guys’ shared room when you walked out the bathroom wearing a white dress that flowed down with flowers embroidered at the bottom (wanda helped you with that), high white boots, glitter all over your face, and the number 13 on your hand.
natasha thought you never looked better.
“you’re wearing that to the concert?” Natasha questioned as you walked to the dresser, already feeling this was a bad idea
“Yeah!” Natasha looked the outfit up and down with a straight face
“It’s Taylor Swift fearless with the grammys thing at the bottom! you dont see it?” you twirled around with a smile. Natasha was close to calling off the joke when she saw that smile.
But one thing everyone knew about Natasha was she was not one to back out on something.
“you don’t like it” Y/n said defeated with a frown at the lack of Natasha’s response
“i can change it you want? i have the reputation outfit at the back of my closet” you sniffled walking back to the closet when natasha jumped off the couch and hugged you from behind
“nooo! my love im sorry it was a prank, i love it” natasha mumbled against your neck pressing apology kisses
“are you serious, nat?!? that’s not funny” you huffed but by your tone she knew you weren’t that mad
“Im sorry im sorrryyy ill buy you that merchandise you wanted” natasha resorted to bribery
you stayed quiet for a moment
“the blue crewneck?” you turned your neck to look at natasha “all of the ones you want”
“really?!? oh my god let’s go before the line gets long!” you dragged natasha out of the room before she stopped you “honey you forgot the tickets and shoes” natasha laughed as you sprinted back to the room “got em! lets go!”
natasha ended up talking for you the next morning as you lost your voice and were extremely worn out.
she also ended up stealing (borrowing in natasha’s terms) your crewnecks and oversized taylor shirts. as much as you loved them, you knew deep down they looked better on natasha and didn’t mind.
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kimbapisnotsushi · 1 year
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i started writing this back in the last week of december going on into january bc we had so many karasuno bdays back then so uhhh TECHNICALLY this is a late bday post honoring like four people LMAO but let's go!!
during kageyama's first birthday at karasuno he gets a mysterious series of texts from an unknown number that goes like > happy birthday > not that this means you're forgiven > just thought it was the right thing to do > i know it's your first since. well. you know > you don't have to text back or anything!!!! > fuck fuck fuck just pretend this never happened BYE
he brings up it up two years later when he, kindaichi, and kunimi are better friends and kindaichi buries his red face in his hands and screams and kageyama isn't sure why
kunimi pats him on the back and tells him not to worry about it
ennoshita has a playlist that is solely just like white noise and creaking sounds and generally just things that would make you shit your pants alone in the dark and when asked why he just goes "it's the only way i can feel anything inside"
tsukki will NEVER admit it but he ASPIRES to be the level of deadpan that ennoshita is
tanaka: "so . . . why do you like him again?" ennoshita, watching a video he recorded of futakuchi walking straight into a lamppost bc he was playing pokemon go: "he makes me laugh"
no joke i think ennoshita is a dateko celebrity bc everyone knows about the guy that futakuchi kenji pines over bc futakuchi kenji is just known in a million ways and maybe like 90% of them are Not Good
a third-year has futakuchi by the collar and they're like "all right PUNK get ready to have your lights punched out you'll be seeing stars when i'm done with you" and futakuchi just sighs longingly and goes "ennoshita has eyes like stars . . ."
daichi is that type of upperclassman who knows very single friend of his juniors' but not in like a cool older sibling way he does it in a cringefail modern parent kind of way
kogane used to be soooooo scared of him before finding out what a huge dork he is
actually kogane isn't scared of asahi bc he's so used to aone and asahi cries over it
(sorry for plugging in dateko so much i just genuinely think they have such a fun relationship with karasuno i ADORE it)
onagawa: "man idk how you do it" narita: "do what?" onagawa: "being the only normal person on your team"
yeah no narita is carrying the weight of the world as the only person with the brain cell on karasuno
sometimes it's ennoshita but he's been dead inside since first year so
suga tells the first years he knows martial arts but all he really did was go to one (1) judo club demonstration during his second year of middle school and somehow managed to flip the captain over by sheer luck and never tried again
for takeda's birthday everyone teams up to get him a really nice fountain pen, a classical poetry book, and a quality bottle of sake. for ukai's birthday tsukki leads a powerpoint presentation on why smoking is bad for you and that he really should stop, backed up with everyone else standing behind him with their arms crossed and nodding along
okay that and they also get him a really cute apron (embroidered with crows!!) for him to wear around the store and a bag of good coffee
kiyoko has all - and i mean ALL - the snacks from the local convenience store on a tier list and when the vbc asked how the fuck she managed to do that she just went "my track team was a lot weirder than you guys"
actually the reason why daichi asked kiyoko to be the manager wasn't because kiyoko was the only one with no club activities going on it was because she gave asahi a hair tie when nobody else would and asahi had been trying to befriend her since (and also return said hair tie) but was too nervous to make the first move
asahi: "noooooo daaaaaaaiiiichiiiiiiiiii i caaaaaaaan't i'm so awkward and embarrassing!!!!" daichi, with all the confidence of a fifteen-year-old constantly winging it: "it's okay, i've got this!"
yeah he's just as surprised as you are that it worked out
especially considering he pitched it to her like a used car salesman
kiyoko carries a lot of hair ties with her when she starts just for asahi and when he leaves the team she doesn't stop bc she tells suga, daichi, and the second-years, "he'll come back, just wait and see"
THEY WERE FRIENDS TOO!!!! THEY WERE FRIENDS TOO!! THEY WERE FRIE -
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superblysubpar · 1 year
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leather and lace masterlist | leather and lace playlist
Chapter Summary: Your first day back in Hawkins is interesting to say the least, involving several unexpected reunions - good and bad.
8.1k words
Warnings: we'll be kicking up the angst from here on for a bit, but with plenty of fluff in between I promise (but I won't mention this necessarily after this as a heads up), mentions of reader celebrating Christmas, weed mentions/use, police/ "arrest" mentions | please see masterlist for overall warnings.
A/N: Thanks for your patience as I worked through mega writer's block in getting this out friends. I'm *extremely* excited to keep going with this series and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Endless thanks to my hive mind and @boomhauer for beta'ing.
Side A | Track 02: "Escape" by Metallica
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“Yes, well, I don’t know Margaret, she said she got laid off and now she’s home.” 
Your body tenses at the sound of your mother’s hushed voice drifting lazily past the living room entryway. Sure that if you opened your eyes, you’d find her with the phone cord and receiver in her hands, pacing, just like a gossiping high schooler. 
Counting to five to make sure she’s passed completely, you roll over on the scratchy living room carpet, ending up face to face with your drooling and snoring little brother. 
Late last night as you blinked sleep heavy eyes, you had hoped to sneak into your childhood home unannounced and avoid any confrontation with the family until morning, but you should have known your brother wouldn’t let you slip in quietly. He was out the door and running barefoot through the snow before you could even take the keys out of the ignition. 
It’s interesting how easily you were able to fall back into old habits as he flung himself into your arms and you ruffled his too long hair. Hip checking and semi-wrestling with each other, whispering ‘you look like hell’ and ‘what took you so long’, when you really meant ‘I love you' to each other. And then you entered the living room to find a pizza and several VHS tapes already laid out on the coffee table. He turned to you looking far too old and yet younger than he ever had as he pointed and in a stern whisper accused, “You promised.”
And you had, so you stayed up too late, catching up, eating food that was bad for you both and watching terrible movies—ending with both of you passing out right there on the floor just like old times. 
Glancing around your family living room, it truly was like nothing had changed. Aside from a few updated decorations that you’re sure your mother was pressured into buying by other moms in the neighborhood, it was all the same. 
"Maybe she could get a job here. She's just so stubborn..."
Exactly the same. 
Suppressing your sigh, your eyes land on your brother’s now open ones and that terrible pitying look that you wanted to avoid at all costs is plastered across his face as he whispers, “She means well, you know that.”
He isn’t wrong, you do know that deep down. But just because someone is your family, and you love them, it doesn’t mean you have to like them all the time. Even if you were able to choose them, you use that magical word ‘family’ to describe them even once and you’re stuck with them. The word, and by definition who you’re describing when using it, is a funny thing. Family is a core value for many, a word to summarize people - and almost a feeling that can't be described. Sayings like 'Home is where the heart is' and 'We don't have much but at least we have each other' on pillows like the one behind your brother’s head or embroidered hangings on the wall come to mind. A group of people that get you in a way no one else ever will because they lived the same places with the same people, experienced the same or similar things. Their life is not yours nor yours theirs, but that connection will always be there. Not a choice for most, and if you're lucky, you may end up with a pretty great one. Which, even the most blessed people will forget every once in a while. Forgetting how lucky you are to have them, guilty when you remember how quickly it could all be different - how it could all change. Sometimes it's tough, and you really have to work to remind yourself that they're your family and you do love them. 
Which is perhaps why you choose to ignore your mother’s penchant for gossip and neither confirm nor deny his statement and instead poke his side and whisper, “Your breath is absolutely horrendous.”
He grunts in protest at that, whacking the back of your hand in sibling code for ‘get away from me or else’ as he hisses, “Your face is horrendous.”
You poke him again and roll away from his retaliating kick as you pout, “Wow, pretty rude to say to someone who will get you a donut for breakfast and a ride to school…”
He grins, knowing you’ll still do both of those things even if he kicks you and is about to say so when your mother’s voice is loud above your heads, “Oh good! You’re both up!”
Though upside down, you can see your mother dressed in her morning work out clothes from the electric blue leg warmers to the lime green sweatband simply used for poofing up her already styled curls, telephone pressed to her neck to avoid the speaker and a bright smile on her bubble gum pink lips. It only makes sense to the people of Hawkins to wear a full face of makeup to exercise.  God forbid you look like a normal human being while working up a sweat.
Despite her early morning gossiping centered around your predicament, you are happy to see her and you jump up to hug her, though she tries to push you away. “Oh no, honey, I’m all sweaty! Let me hug you hello when I’m- oof!” breath knocked out of her as you push past her protests, she laughs into the phone, “Margaret let me call you back!”
A little bit of the mother that didn’t revolve around the other moms, the town or its gossip and pecking order - the mom who lounged in her sweats and drank coffee all day makes a resurgence as she clicks the phone off before Margaret can even reply. She hugs you back tightly, whispering, “Welcome home, kiddo.”
It is easy to forget, if only for a few seconds, why you were home when you’re in your mother’s embrace. Easy to pretend it’s all okay while she runs her hands through your hair three times before she kisses the top of your head, just like she had always done. 
But as she takes in a deep inhale, signaling the onslaught of questions and pity that she is about to bombard you with, you remove yourself from her grasp, spinning towards the stairs. “Glad to be back. I’m gonna take the dweeb to school, so I’ll see you later?”
She frowns, arms still outstretched like you were still in front of her but she nods, recovering quickly and smiles as you disappear up the stairs two at a time. 
Escaping into your room, you fall against the door, closing it with a soft click, and let yourself exhale as you look around the space that feels a little like stepping into a time machine. 
Your posters of bands you loved in high school line the walls, bedspread still the bright yellow covered in daisies, polaroids pinned around movie tickets and a dried corsage from prom that you swore you threw in the trash. Even your cassettes are littered across your desk, like your family couldn’t bear to change a single thing about the space in your absence. 
Fingertips brushing over the stack of them, you smile as you find one of your favorites. Easily slipping back into old habits, you pop it into your stereo. Blasting it loud enough while you get ready for the day that your brother has to bang on your door to get your attention several minutes later, “Y/N! Jesus! Let’s go!”
Smiling as you swing your door open, he rolls his eyes at you and shakes his head. You race him down the stairs, ignoring his protests about cheating and head starts. You argue the whole way to get donuts about the best kinds of frostings and sprinkles or no sprinkles, filled or not filled, new music and movie opinions making cameos in between. You’re happy to pretend everything is okay, but you know it’s not and it all starts to sink in as you get closer and closer to Hawkins High. 
While your brother babbles on about Dungeons and Dragons, driving down the familiar streets to that school, it’s like your failure is blinking in a flashing sign above your car. Stomach twisting in knots as you recognize spots that once held happy memories, now just reminders of what you left behind willingly because you believed you were above it all - better than the town and the people in it. 
Pulling into the parking lot, you blow out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, “What time is your game over? I can pick you up.”
“Um, it’s not just a game and -” he turns to hold a one second symbol out to the group of familiar friends. Their hats pulled down over hair too long just like your brother’s, hands shoved in puffy winter coats and scowls across their faces until you’re grinning widely at them and waving. Slight nods from all of them and half-hearted waves back. Some of the boys turn bright red, ducking their faces down as two girls shove elbows into them all, shaking their heads. Your brother groans and mumbles, “Idiots.”
Ruffling the top of his head as you laugh, "Relax dude. Whatever it is, I'll be here. So again...what time does it get over?"
He's digging in his bag, opening the door halfway, the chill from outside swirling around the car and making you shiver as he mumbles, "No, I don't need a ride, Steve usually gives the few of us without cars all one home. Speaking of which," he dumps five VHS tapes into your lap, "Can you return these for me today? Steve and Robs will pluck Mike's eyeballs out if they’re any later. He took the - Hold on!” he shrieks out the door at the grumbling from a few feet away before continuing, “Anyways, Wheeler said he forgot but really it was my fault and…”
So lost in so many different questions, you don’t hear the end of his sentence as you blurt out the first thing you can think of, "Steve? Who's this Steve that gives you rides?"
He blinks at you like it's obvious, his tone even and slowed down as if he's sounding it out for you as he replies, "Hair - ing - ton."
"Steve Harrington gives you rides home from your Dungeons and Dragons game?"
He rolls his eyes but nods, half out the door as he zips his bag back up, "Yes he does and -"
"The Hair? King Steve?"
He huffs, “He doesn’t really go by that-” the school bell's shrill ring sounds out and he groans, jumping out of the car fully.
You shout an apology behind his body and the closing door and then, “Wait! Harrington works at Family Video?!”
He waves you off as the door slams and he’s racing past the group that’s all shouting at him as they all scurry into the building, shoving each other as they go. Somehow, despite their broader shoulders, longer hair, and taller bodies, they were still that group of awkward misfit kids to you. 
Glancing down at the tapes in your lap, you can’t help but wonder how the hell your little brother got wrapped up with Steve Harrington. You push your car into drive, ready to find out. 
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The trilling chime you’re expecting as you step inside Family Video halts after one ring and you glance up to see a tiny piece of string pulling the bell back - just enough to stop it from hitting the door hard enough to ring out repeatedly. 
Glancing around the familiar rental store, you see no customers and more importantly, no Steve Harrington. 
As ‘Temple of Doom’ blasts from the TV’s hoisted in the corners, you make your way towards the counter and set down the stack of tapes your brother dropped on you. A shiny bell sitting on the counter with a post-it attached that reads ‘ring me and you die’ crossed out with harried and blocky writing that says ‘she’s kidding’ and another note below it saying ‘no I’m not’ piques your interest and you tap your finger on it despite the warnings. 
Pausing for several seconds, but when nobody appears you tap it again, and for good measure a third time right in a row, causing a loud groan to echo from the ajar door leading to the back. Shuffling feet and a high pitched and irritated voice calling out, “Steve, I swear to god, if you ring that bell to get my attention one more time-”
A girl about your age, maybe a little younger, stops dead in her tracks as she rounds the corner. Bright red and scuffed chucks knocking into a cart as she flails, trying to catch herself. At about the same time you go to help her, the door lets out the pathetic singular ding and a deeper voice yells out, “Oh shit!” 
The girl has toppled over the cart and is blowing her bangs out of her eyes as she hisses up at the boy, “Yeah ‘oh shit’ Steve! Can you-” she gestures to you, picking up the jumbled tapes, voice dripping with fake polite sweetness, “just help the customer please.”
He nods and finally turns in your direction. He’s got a giant soft pretzel in his hand, a dab of mustard on the corner of his lips, and the famous brown locks atop his head. Steve blinks at you, clearing his throat before squinting and asking, “Y/N?”
Nodding as well, you take in his appearance further. He’s different and yet the same as you remember him. A small amount of stubble around his jaw and upper lip that he quickly wipes at the corner of with the sleeve of his deep green sweatshirt - but you can see the collar of one of his familiar polos peeking out underneath. He’s taller, taller than you now, and his hair - he’s learned how to steer into the mess of it, it seems. It flops in all the right ways. It's not stiff from product and he runs his free hand through it in a way that tells you he does it all the time and makes you a little envious of the hand. He still seems to very much be the King Steve you recall from high school - the one who was popular enough to have seniors over at his house. The one you and your friends included in hot or not lists and flirted with constantly, the one girls bought bikinis strictly for pool parties hosted by him for. The one who still drives a maroon BMW that makes your little rusting bucket currently sitting out next to it look like a piece of shit. 
How did that Steve turn into a guy who gives your brother rides?
He’s still holding the pretzel and his mouth opens to speak again when the girl stands from her stack of tapes on the floor, cheeks blushed pink and a scowl on her face, “Oh good. You know each other, I’m going back to finishing my essay and you,” she shoves the stack into his chest and he cradles it between his one free arm and chin. She snatches the pretzel and takes a bite before speaking around it, “can finish putting these away.”
She seems to have a lighter skip in her step as she takes another bite of the pretzel and he shakes his head at her retreating back before dumping the perfect stack onto the counter behind him, all of them toppling over and out of order again. He turns back to face you and extends his arms towards the now fully open door, “Don’t mind her, she’s dealing with finals and super cranky and-”
“I heard that, Dingus!” echoes from the room.
“You were supposed to!” he shouts back before turning to face you, rubbing the back of his neck, “Um, so, what…how…you’re…”
He starts too many questions for you to even attempt to answer when the door chimes again and you feel all the color drain from your face. Fingers and toes becoming numb as you see the hoard of bright fuschia, patterns, teased and poofed hair, and denim jacket clad women coming towards you. You were not prepared for all of these reunions on your first day back. 
“Y/N?!” one of them shrieks and then the whole crowd descends, shouting out squeals of ‘I can’t believe you’re here’, ‘what are you doing here’s’, ‘oh my god we miss you’, ‘did you do something different with your hair?’ 
Overwhelmed does not even touch the tip of how you’re feeling and you blink at Steve, who none of the girls have even spared a glance towards. He’s quietly opening the tapes you brought back, cheek pulled in as he bites at it. 
One girl steps forward from the pack and your stomach rolls. Brittany Hartman, your best friend growing up, laughs and waves her hands down at the others. “Oh my god, ladies, let her breathe!” She turns to you, a full wattage smile poised on her face, tossing her perfectly curled blonde hair before her arms extend and pull you into a suffocating hug, hairspray filling your nostrils and something overtly peachy as she squeezes you and squeals, “It’s been so long! How are you? Are you home for Christmas? How long are you staying? How’s your mom?”
A snort to your left and you see the girl from earlier is now next to Steve and she covers her mouth and turns quickly to face the back counter, ears turning red and Steve bites his lip trying to hide a smirk. 
Brittany rolls her eyes before turning back to you, her fingers running through your hair absentmindedly with a slight look of judgment as you stumble through all of the responses to her questions, “It has been a long time, yeah, um…” you pull your sleeves over your fists at your side, “Home for Christmas, she’s good, thanks for asking.”
Some of the girls have dissipated between the shelves, twittering amongst themselves about Tom Cruise and what movie to pick. Brittany leans against the counter, elbow knocking over some of the tapes. Steve’s jaw clenches as he catches it and turns to the computer, typing in something. She twirls her hair and nods, her smile stiff as she asks, “How’s the big city? Still living the dream? How long do we get you for?”
Unsure why you didn’t prepare some sort of response before going out in public in this town, you’re kicking yourself for not realizing you’d have to answer this question eventually. Shrugging as you reply, “It’s great, I love it there. I…um…well,” you can feel your throat tightening, the pit in your stomach only growing as you look anywhere but at her as you spit out a half truth, “I’m actually gonna be home for the rest of the school year…”
Her eyes go wide at that, her head tilting to the side, “You can take that much time off?”
The familiar prick of tears you’ve been avoiding is hitting behind your eyes, body suddenly feeling hot in all your layers and then you catch Steve’s eyes. He offers a small smile and you know he knows and you’ll kill your brother if you make it out of this situation alive. Your eyes land on the counter as you blink them repeatedly and mumble, “Actually, I don’t have a job right now?”
Cursing to yourself that it comes out like a question, you swallow harshly and tighten your fists as Brittany gasps, some of the other girls letting out quiet ‘oh no’s’ and ‘that’s terrible’. Brittany’s fingers tap on the counter as her voice drips with fake disdain, “Oh my god, that sucks! What happened? Was teaching really hard?”
Her tone, the situation, some of the girls hiding their smiles behind their hands has your blood boiling over as your head snaps up, trying to control the shake in your voice, “Excuse me?”
She laughs, cold and a little heartless as she waves her hand, “Oh I just, I remember your mom telling my mom that you were teaching? So if you’re not, it must have been hard? Or did something happen?” she gasps again, eyes wide, “Oh my god, did you get fired?”
Words fail you, you’re trying, you really are, to tell her that she’s wrong. That you’re good at your job. That it wasn’t your fault. But she’s technically right, and as her eyes lock with yours, you both know it. 
She frowns, mock pity that you’re familiar with from your years of friendship thick in her voice as her fake sincerity slips out of her lips, “I’m so sorry. Some people just aren’t cut out for city life, I guess.”
The girl behind the counter with Steve lets out a scoff and Brittany tilts her head again, bright blue fingernails tapping on the counter as she questions, “Something to say over there?”
The girl turns, honey with a hint of red small curls that fall from the bun atop her head swaying with the sharp movement as she mocks the tilt of Brittany’s head and shrugs, “Oh, just wondering how you would know that?”
Brittany sneers at the girl whose name tag says Robin before glancing at Steve and responding, “You’re so right. Silly me. It’s pathetic to stay in Hawkins and work here, huh Harrington?”
Unsure of how a dynamic this big could have shifted between a girl like Brittany and Steve in the years you’ve been away, you’re shocked when he stands, smiles and hands her a tape, “Pretty pathetic, Brit. I’ll see you next week, same time.”
The girls around the counter clear their throats and Brittany snatches the tape before turning to you. Her eyes soften, but you know the malice that lies behind them and she isn’t fooling anyone when she squeezes your wrist, “I really am sorry. Let’s catch up soon, okay? I wanna hear all about it and be there for you.”
Squeezing your fingers, but before you can even reply, she’s turning and the hoard of girls follows behind her, calling out their goodbyes. 
The sound of the movie's credits is the only thing that fills the store for several minutes as you stare blankly out the glass front doors. Ashamed you couldn’t stick up for yourself. Embarrassed that you were once best friends with her. Gutted that somehow, still, after all of these years, a shallow level inside of yourself seeks and wants their approval. 
Feeling the need to make your apologies - for freezing, for not defending Steve, for your past friend’s behavior, for your brother clearly not rewinding any of the tapes as you watch the girl named Robin plop one in the rewinder. She shakes her head, "Don't you even think about apologizing."
Blinking at her as she smiles and waggles a finger adorned with a ring attached with a small silver chain to a bracelet, "It's all over your face," she leans onto the counter, crossing her arms, "And you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about."
Steve nods once in agreement and flops down into the rolling chair, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling, "Except maybe not teaching your brother how to return things in a timely manner."
Robin kicks his shin and he doesn't even flinch, and your eyes bop between the two of them - curious who this girl is, why Steve and Brittany don't get along anymore, and how Steve is not doing any of the things you once imagined he would be and is instead, working here.
He rubs his temples and Robin extends her hand to you, "Robin Buckley."
Shaking it, you introduce yourself and she smiles widely, "Oh, I know who you are."
She must sense your embarrassment of not knowing who she is or trying to recall if you've met before and just forgot because her smile softens and she shrugs, "I was class of ‘86 and we didn't exactly run in the same circles. Besides," she shifts and jumps up to sit on the counter, "A senior hanging out with freshmen? Who'd do something so crazy?"
Steve pulls his head up and rolls his eyes at her which reminds you why you're in the store in the first place. Tapping your knuckles on the counter, ready to interrogate him, Steve replies before you even ask, "It's a very long story, one I'm surprised your brother hasn't told you already, but," he waves his hands and then leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, "Would you...we can...coffee?"
Robin rolls her eyes at him and you can't help but smile at the jumbled question. The smooth talking younger boy is not as full of confident charm as he once was as wide and hopeful hazel eyes stare up at you.
Shrugging, you reply,  "Sure. Since I know the dweeb clearly told you, and you would've found out from that lovely encounter," you nod your head out towards the parking lot before letting your arms fall open at your sides, "I have plenty of free time on my hands."
Steve smiles and nods, "Cool, I'll call you."
"Cool."
Robin's eyebrows raise and she whispers, "Cool."
Biting the inside of your lip as you try to fight a smile, you start to head towards the door, and spin back to face them, "This is going to sound incredibly lame and you're going to think I'm a total loser who really doesn't have anything going for her anymore but um...do you...do either of you know..." you rub the back of your neck before finally spitting out, "Is Rick still..."
The pair share a glance and then Steve stands and nods, "Yeah, he's still at the same spot out by Lover’s Lake. He's more of a...supplier now though?"
Your eyebrows raise and Steve grins, "The town is booming, didn't you hear?"
Laughing as you back into the door, "Clearly I underestimated Hawkins potential should have never left," you push the door open and then turn to say sorry for what occurred with Brittany.
Robin holds up her finger, "Nu-uh! What'd I say!?"
Grinning at her, you nod and let a tiny, "Sorry," slip out before turning towards your car, as the door falls shut you hear her groan.  
The parking lot covered in icy sludge makes you shuffle slowly to your car, wincing as the door hinges squeak, before settling into the front seat.
Determined to turn the day around and quell some of the anxiety from the interaction with Brittany, you turn the key in the ignition and make the trip out to the one person who supplied anyone in town for their parties with the good stuff you haven’t been able to afford for the last year - hoping your “friend” can cut you a deal for old time’s sake. 
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Making the familiar drive out to Rick’s house, you hate that your thoughts are still swirling around Brittany, the town, and how long it will take for her to tell everyone about what happened. What about if anyone sees you going into Rick’s and the assumptions they make?
Knuckles tightening their grip on the steering wheel until they’re drifting to your stereo, turning up the knob fully in hopes that the wailing guitar will drown out the anxiety that’s threatening to pull you under. 
Pulling into his drive, you throw the car in park, pressing your forehead to the top of the steering wheel and take several deep breaths. Did it really matter what they thought of you anymore? Why do you care? Sick to your stomach that it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours back in this town and already you were falling back into their clutches of controlling stereotypes. 
Thoughts continue to eat away at your nerves, you bite at your thumb as you pull the keys from the ignition and slam the door. Stepping up the front steps, your head ducks down to shield yourself from the biting wind now that you’re closer to the lake. 
Pounding on the door a few times, you hear a muffled ‘one sec’ from somewhere deeper in the house and you mentally prepare yourself for the conversation with Rick - one that would be longer than necessary due to being interrupted by his large bong rips most likely. Hoping he was in a good enough mood to offer you some sort of deal and maybe, somehow, you could still escape with a little of your dignity. 
When you don’t hear any further footsteps to signal he’s coming, your fist connects with the wood harshly again, worried he was too high and had already forgotten that someone was at the door. 
A louder voice cries out, “I said I was come-” the door flies open and his sentence falters off much quieter, “-ing.”
As if the day could not get any worse, Eddie Munson stands before you, a bag of chips between his teeth that drops to the floor when his mouth falls open as he blinks at you. 
Crossing your arms, your eyes narrow into a glare as you stick your chin up, “What are you doing here?”
He rolls his eyes, bending down to pick up the chips as he sighs, “Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing.” He turns back into the house, leaving the door open but not telling you to follow him. 
Debating if you really needed the weed that badly, your resolve is paper thin at this point and you step inside and close the door behind you. Eddie turns to look over his shoulder, eyebrows raising as he sees you standing in front of the now closed door. 
He tosses the bag on the kitchen counter as he opens cabinets, “So, really, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Chicago?”
Curious how Eddie Munson knows you lived in Chicago - the town is small, but the people who knew where you lived definitely wouldn’t have been going around telling “the freak” about it. Scuffing your shoe against the floor, you go with a half truth again, “I’m home visiting for Christmas. Is Rick here?”
Eddie laughs as he closes the cabinet, “Really? Cause I heard you got canned and had to move back home,” he winces with fake apology, “Tough break, shortstack.”
How the hell did he know that? And how dare he use that nickname now, after all of these years. 
Seething at the thought of the one person you couldn’t stand almost as much as the town knowing your failure, your voice is cold and sharp, “Well if you knew that, then why the fuck did you ask?”
He pulls out a pack of cigarettes from the front pocket of his black denim jeans, tapping it on the counter as he squints at you, “Someone is bitter…” he drags out the last word as he pulls a cigarette from the pack and lets it dangle between his lips. 
Eddie is similar to Steve in regards to not having changed much - appearance wise. Still long and unruly dark curls cascading over an old band t-shirt, a band you hated to admit you liked too. His jeans have the same holes in the knees, he’s got a little stubble on his jaw, just like Steve had, a reminder that you’re all a little older. The difference between Eddie and Steve is that Eddie seems to not have changed his personality at all. 
“Glad to see you haven’t changed - still an asshole. Again, is Rick here?”
Eddie pulls the unlit cigarette from his lips and places it behind his ear as he shakes his head, crossing his arms and leaning up against the counter, “So what happened, shortstack? All those book smarts didn’t give you enough street smarts for the big ol’ city?” He pouts his lips and blinks his eyes in false pity. 
Picking at the skin on your thumbs with your forefingers, you try to keep your voice level as you retort, “At least I got out of this town and did something, Munson. What’s your excuse for doing absolutely nothing with your life?”
Eddie tucks his tongue into his cheek, big brown eyes hardening into a deeper shade, almost black, as he practically growls through a clenched jaw, “Says the girl who failed and had to move back in with mommy and daddy.”
“What the fuck is your problem Eddie?” you shriek at him.
He stands taller, fingers pointing into his chest, taking a step closer and towering over you like he always has, voice ringing out through the house, “What’s my problem?! I’m not the one who’s had a stick up their ass since we were twelve, sweetheart!”
Shoving a finger into his chest as you take a step closer, “You’re the one who humiliated me in front of the entire tow-”
“You are un - fucking - believable! Are you kidding me?” he interrupts, whacking your finger from his chest with wide hands. 
“Woah, woah, woah, dudes - your volume is not appreciated right now.”
At the sound of Rick’s voice and cough, you physically jump back from Eddie like he shocked you. Feeling the muscles that had tightened and coiled in your body at the growing tension with him start to untangle themselves. Rick looks between the two of you, holding a finger up, and a small, “Ah, yeah, I forget, what happened here?”
Eddie and you glare at each other, both of you mumbling and turning from the other. Eddie a quiet, “I don’t know,” and you an even quieter, “Nothing.”
Rick shrugs like he couldn’t be bothered to know or not and he falls into the plush couch, kicking his dirty barefeet up on the coffee table littered with rolling papers, and baggies full of bud and nods towards you, “What do I owe the pleasure of this house call, former princess of Hawkins?”
Recoiling at the nickname and everything that goes along with it - you hate that that’s how people can still think of you. You were never the queen, or as popular as someone like Steve, but you did run with that crowd. A princess and a pawn in their kingdom you begrudgingly have to admit. You risk a glance at Eddie who immediately looks at the floor, pretending you didn’t just catch him staring. 
“Well, I’m in need of a couple of those bad boys,” you gesture to some of the rolled joints resting in a tin and flash him a smile that always used to work wonders, “Had to come see my favorite guy for them.”
Rick laughs, flicking a lighter in his hand, “Well, I don’t really do that anymore,” he nods his head backwards to where Eddie is filling his old metal lunchbox with baggies on the counter, “My guy took over a few years ago so I could wash my hands of all the messy sales stuff. Gave away too many free joints to the pretty ones,” Rick winks at you.
Disgusted with yourself, you pull out the old charm for the man four years your senior and flirt like your life depends on it, “Oh really? I thought that was something you only did for me, Ricky?” you pout your lips, clasping your hands in front of you.
Eddie makes a choking sound and you ignore him, gesturing to the door, “But that’s okay, I understand. I’ll just tell my friends we can’t get the good stuff tonight and -”
Rick holds out his hand stopping your retreating, “Wait!”
Eddie groans, “No. You seriously did not fall for that pathetic excuse of-”
Rick picks up the tin and shoots Eddie a glare before turning back to you, dopey smile on his lips, “Alright, one free joint for the once upon a time princess who’s always been too sweet to me,” he hands you a joint and you smile at him, batting your eyelashes. 
He pulls another one out, “A second free one for the inconvenience of driving all the way out here and not knowing your old buddy took my gig and his mean yelling earlier-”
Eddie cries out, “Oh my god! Come on, man!”
Rick holds up a third one, “A third and final free joint to save for a special occasion - for old times sake,” he winks at you as you steal it, backing away before Eddie can convince him to change his mind. 
“Thank you Rick! It’ll be our little secret that they were free, and I’ll spread the word that you still have the best stuff in town!” blowing him a kiss that he pretends to grab and slap his cheek with as you laugh.
Eddie stands behind him shaking his head, hissing as you turn your back on the pair of boys, “Rick, this is exactly why you hired me to sell. What the fuck was-”
Rick’s voice follows you out and you wish you were quicker to close the door before hearing, “My man, you of all people should know the power that girl’s smile has on a guy.”
“I thought you didn’t remember-”
“Dude. Everyone remembers.”
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Upon returning home, you quickly shuffle up to your room, and click the lock before heading over to your closet. Digging around on the top shelf for the old shoebox covered in collaged pictures and magazine cut outs to hide your newly acquired contraband like you used to in high school. Opening the lid, your stomach churns at the contents of the box you forgot you had kept and hidden away. You dump all of it out and onto the floor and slip the three joints inside, placing one of your old t-shirts atop them. Deciding you’ll smoke the last bit of flower you had been saving first and ignore the pile of tainted memories. 
Placing an old cassette tape into your stereo, and turning the volume up, you blow the smoke out your window and let the high take over, everything that’s gone wrong that day melting away as your muscles relax fully. 
Body and mind lulled into a blissfully unaware and relaxed state, you slowly unpack the things you brought back home. As you take down posters and hang new ones up, replacing framed photos of you and the girls from Hawkins with your polaroids and frames of Chicago, you don’t notice the sun shifting squares across your floor throughout the day or the number of tapes you replace as the songs click to their end. Pausing in between your slow unpacking and decorating to light up the last little bit in your bowl, hollowing your cheeks and sucking in the definitely burnt and past its prime drug.
After the last suitcase is emptied and shoved under your bed, you turn to the pile full of tokens from memory lane hell you had dumped on the floor. Photobooth pictures of you and Brittany where he enters the last frame kissing your cheek. Lace from the bottom of your prom dress that was tailored. Ticket stubs from date nights. A small box that you knew if you opened would be a necklace with his initial dangling on the gold chain. Slowly dropping items into your wastebasket, you pause at a few of them. A pop bottle cap necklace you allow to return to the box. A polaroid of your brother and Dustin Henderson shoving ice cream cones in your face, a handmade card full of drawings your brother made, and a ticket stub to The Breakfast Club all make the cut too. Folded pieces of notebook paper are all that’s left. Several have tiny hearts and your name on them that you quickly shove into the trash, but most of them have striking doodles of dragons and knights, a crown, frogs and various favorite animals from over the years on them made in black sharpie that disappear into the creases of the strategically folded paper. Those you return to the box as well with a lump in your throat and pull out one of the new joints. 
The items sobering any sort of high you had been feeling, you notice the sky darkening, the once gray and bright day fading into a hazy blue twilight as the front door thudding closed and echoes of boys filter up the stairs. 
Excited to greet all of your brother’s best friends with more than a wave from the car, you stick the joint in your pocket and race down the stairs, jumping down the last two and practically falling over at what waits for you in the entryway. 
Your brother grins, “Hey! We brought home pizza!” 
Lucas Sinclair holds up the box and grins at you as well and you gulp as you wave at the young boys, greeting them as your eyes remain on Steve’s and then Eddie’s, “Hey guys, long time no see.”
Dustin Henderson, the closest of your brother’s friends races forward to give you a hug, practically your little brother too and you laugh as you hug him back, “Holy cow, you all got so tall!” You ruffle the top of his head as he pulls away and frown, looking around, “What’s with all this long hair though?”
Eddie narrows his eyes at you and leans a shoulder against the wall and you fold your arms, glaring back at him. 
Steve looks between the two of you and then at your little brother who looks like he’s in pain when Mike Wheeler hitches his thumb at Eddie, “He thinks it’s because of him.”
“Yeah, he’s always been pretty full of himself,” you reply without looking away from Eddie. 
Eddie opens his mouth to respond and maybe it’s some lingering effects of the weed, but you beat him to it, not caring about the audience you have, “Why are you here?” 
Lucas speaks around a bite of a slice he slipped out of the box that Dustin snatches from him and closes, “Eddie runs Hellfire.”
Will Byers pipes up at your blinking when Lucas’ mouth remains full, “Our DND Club? He’s the best Dungeon Master Hawkins has ever seen.”
Turning your gaze to your brother, he rubs the back of his neck and whispers, “Did I not mention that Eddie still ran DND?”
Shaking your head at him, it’s all the final cherry on top to your massively awful first day back in Hawkins, “Nope, must have slipped your mind when you were too busy telling everyone about my mistakes and failures instead.”
Steve clears his throat and nods at the younger boys and the kitchen, slowly shoving them out of the entryway as your brother starts to apologize, “I didn’t mean to tell them all, I was just happy to have you back home and-”
“Whatever, it’s too late now, but,” you point at Eddie who hasn’t moved from his spot leaning, “You’re not hanging out with him anymore.”
Eddie’s jaw clenches, but he doesn’t fight you on your order, surprisingly, it’s your brother who does, “Excuse me?”
Shoving past Eddie, you start to pull on your shoes and coat, “You heard me.”
He scoffs, “Hate to break it to ya sis, but you’re not my mother. Why can’t I hang out with Eddie? Just because you don’t like him? He didn’t live up to the Hawkins princess’ standards, right? Cause it sure as shit can’t be because of the pot like you used to claim since we can all smell how you’ve been spending your day without a job.”
The words land across your skin in a harsh slap, cold and biting, just how they were intended and you see his shoulders fall and the immediate regret on his face, but it’s too late, and he can’t take them back. 
The kitchen turns silent, Steve closes his eyes and rubs the back of his neck and Eddie stands up straighter, all three of them opening their mouths.
Shaking your head as you open the door you mutter, “Save it,” and slam it behind you. 
Fingers fumbling with your keys, you hold in the tears until you’re in your car and down the block, letting them fall silently. Aimlessly driving around, desperate to escape the town you had worked so hard to get out of already, until you end up at a diner along the highway just outside of Hawkins. 
Opening the center console, you rifle through your tapes until you find your favorite Metallica one. You turn the knob so the opening soft chords of ‘Fight Fire With Fire’ fill your car. The cold pads of your fingertips swipe at your tear stained cheeks and you let the metal music fill your brain, trying to let it take over the thoughts sending you into a spiral of self loathing and pity. 
The joint sitting in your pocket seems to be burning a hole there as the lyric, ‘the gods are laughing’ cuts through your wallowing. Pulling it out, you place the joint between chapped lips as you search for your lucky bright yellow lighter. You can’t help but think about how different this scenario is from your previous smoke sessions in Hawkins. Boys always lighting them for you before Chicago, only daring to have a few passes from fear of being labeled a stoner like classmates around you. Now, your hands work with a mind of their own, the steps to smoking alone are second nature, twirling it to get an even burn and as the paper catches the flame, you hollow your cheeks and let yourself become numb. 
The smoke leaves your parted lips as ‘For Whom The Bell Tolls’ starts and you adjust the volume a little louder, letting your body relax into the smoke and sounds filling the car. The events of day replay in your mind like some private showing of a sick and twisted horror movie starring yourself as the paper slowly burns down and the album continues on. As you hear, ‘no one but me can save myself, but it’s too late’ you can’t help but feel like you’ve made a colossal mistake in coming back and a fresh wave of tears starts to gather on your lashes.
Reminding yourself it wasn’t exactly by choice, but you’re sure if you would have picked up a third job, found roommates, something, you could have made Chicago work. But you gave up, your expectations and the bar you set for yourself lower than they ever had been. The fact of the matter is, your entire confidence was shattered as the dream you’d always reached for, the perfect life in the perfect city, came tumbling down around you after one setback. You’d had it extremely easy for most of your life and though you worked hard in school to get a scholarship, worked a job throughout high school to save up for the same brands other’s simply purchased with family credit cards, you were doused in privilege and naivety. Somewhere along the way you let yourself feel unstoppable until the universe reminded you that you’re nothing special and the world is not always going to be fair. 
Maybe everyone was right. You were a princess of Hawkins, a part of a crowd that had life handed to them and you were no better than anyone else. A hypocrite. A failure. And certainly no role model for your brother. 
The tears finally fall and you quickly wipe at them and snuff out the butt of your joint. You’re not sure how this day can get worse, and you’re wondering if this is your rock bottom. Surely you can turn it all around, climb your way back up. Nudging the volume up again, you’re determined to not continue to wallow once your favorite song comes on and you sing out “Out for my own, out to be free…” closing your eyes and headbanging along to the fast guitar as you remember the girl you were when the album came out. First year in the city and full of drive and ambition - full of hope. 
Three quick, loud raps on your passenger door window snap your eyes open. A man with a large mustache and decked out in a uniform doting big blocky letters spelling out the word ‘Police’ is glaring at you and you now notice the swirling red and blue lights in your windshield through the lingering hazy smoke. 
As the diner full of families glare out through frosted windows as you’re escorted into the back of the cop car, you let your head fall forward, fighting off the laugh that was threatening to escape your chest at the universe’s cruel sense of humor.
Correction. 
Maybe this was your rock bottom. 
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🖤 Thanks again for being here - any interaction is so appreciated & I’d love to know what you thought about it! If you’re able, please consider reblogging to help get my work seen. 
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spacesurfing · 1 year
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Ma'am, may I please get a crumb of Luke fic 🥺 (maybe even a Dark Prince Luke fic?)
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YES! YES YOU MAY! I HAVE MISSED WRITING SPECIFICALLY LUKE SO MUCH!!
•--•
The Redress
Imperial Prince!Luke Skywalker x Reader Fluff
Summary: Your past wedding wasn't enough for him, the way it happened and the scene you were in. He needed more, he wanted you to have more.
Warnings: fluffff, suggestive tone in one piece of dialogue
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GIF NOT MINE!!
•--•
"What's troubling you?" you asked, placing your fork down, handle against the edge of your plate with pasta still rolled around the bottom of the forked edges.
Your dress billowed off your arms, the close to transparent fabric dyed a deep, royal blue, same as the ones that flowed over the black silk underneath it, torso a solid black color with embroidered golden edges.
Luke had handpicked your gown, chose the restaurant you sat at accordingly to you, the prettiest scenery in the open air balcony. And he picked the prettiest place to stay, a cottage in his family name, two stories tall and cozy. It was secure in the woods alone, forests only packed with deer, wild foxes, birds, tame animals.
The lush forest of Batuu, accompanied with a village outside of the secluded foliage helped him finalize his idea. He knew the way you were, the way you wanted cozy and quiet, but not completely alone. Much different from his father, he learned to respect your never-ending want to see life and watch things, and others, grow.
You were the soft part of the Empire, as his dad put it. But everything evil had a soft spot. And everything Luke was made of didn't allow him to hide his own - being you.
He sighed and planted his elbow on the table, resting his cleft chin on his hand and let his index finger run across the scar that trailed over his lips. A bad habit he developed when he got nervous.
"I want to speak to you about something. It's very last minute, and you might not be ready for something like this and-"
You interrupted him, "Did the Emperor want a heir already?"
"I- No!" Luke said, blushing intensely, something you didn't see too often, "No, I want to.. correct our wedding. I want to do it our way. Well- technically it would be my way but you've spoken about your ideal wedding before. I just want you to be happy with it. Happier."
You looked at him with pure shock. You'd remembered the pain that went through your heart one day when your mind started running a million miles and hour. And when Luke had sensed it, sniffed it out and hunted you down to ask what could be wrong, you'd confessed to him. You confessed that you wanted something more real, where you could actually feel the wind billow in your hair and your dress. And so you could feel like you weren't being watched.
You wanted it to be you and him. In a secluded place with high trees and friendly animals and plants surrounding you. You told him you wanted something beautiful, something original. And he would do anything to make his beloved princess happy.
And he had just made you so happy, knowing that the event would be happening soon. Knowing that he meant this place. It was mid-day, and maybe that's why he had taken you to eat so early on. Everyone would be settling in a few hours, leaving the trees near your cottage alone for good that day.
You had never interrogated Luke on who he talked to, but you should've known when you'd overheard him ask for Sarah, the woman who ran all of your wardrobe decisions with yourself and Luke included, that he had a plan unfolding.
Your heart skipped a beat. Of course Luke listened to you, you should've known he would. He never settled for hearing you say you wanted something. He would only settle if you had it. His determination made you soften inside.
"Really? When is it? Is it soon?" you asked, face lit up with interest, watching your whole self begin to smile.
Luke laughed at the way your eyes locked onto his own, watching him like he created every planet, every sun and every moon. Like he created every star and starship in the sky.
"When do you want it to happen, we are here for a few days, you can have control over our plans from here on, my dove," he spoke evenly, lifting his head from his hand and letting it rest on the table, waiting for yours to rest intertwined with his own.
You rested your hand in his and watched your grin become contagious.
"Would you- Can we do it today? Would you want to do it today?" you asked, hoping that if he were to say anything, it would not be a no. Your heart took a pause before you saw something flicker in his crystalline blue eyes, spiked deeper shades in the irises.
His eyes had softened, "I was hoping you would say something like that."
His hand reached up to brush hair behind your ear, running the side of his finger over the cartilage and flitting over your jawline, "Maker, I will forever muse over how gorgeous you are. When they told me about you, how you were the most beautiful girl on Tatooine I almost laughed because I didn't think it was possible. And when I saw you, I wanted to laugh harder because you were the most beautiful girl in the galaxy. It was ridiculous how they could undermine your beauty."
You felt your cheeks start to hurt, so tensed from the smile that you couldn't seem to swipe away. You wished there was a way to describe how it felt like you were swallowing down your pulse, how your head felt like it was being turned inside out , wrung out like a wash-cloth. And the way your muscles seemed to warm with a want to reach over and kiss him.
You kissed his finger, grabbing his hand to kiss each and every one of them. Fading into reality, you looked around the empty balcony before resuming to your food, flashing your lover a quick smile.
And once again. It was a contagious smile.
•--•
You slipped the dress on, your gut clenching with guilt at the fact that outside, the dress could collect dirt from the hardened ground. But when you called to Luke to tell him that, he only brushed off your concern and assured you that the Empire has cleaned worse.
You had flats on, easier to walk in. And seeing them didn't matter much because Luke would be the only eyes. You had left your hair down, treating it a way you so pleased. And then you took a moment, looking at yourself in the full-body mirror set in the cottage. You looked... gorgeous, even to yourself. You felt tears well up in your eyes and you felt the urge to rush to Luke, who was outside the door.
How many times had you truly felt this... pretty? You can't recall, all you can recall is the fact that you hadn't felt this way in that cold, holoprojected room with its holoprojected walls and its holoprojected wind.
You hated being in that room, where Vader could watch his son get married to a bride from a planet that he used to reside. In the place that wasn't truly real, just a video on a wall. You didn't want to pretend to get married on that stone ledge on Naboo. You wanted to get married here, alone with your lover.
You stepped outside into the pouring rays of light. Planets seemed the brightest when the sun was setting, pulled streaks of yellow bursting through the trees like they had something to say to you. And they must've been speaking to Luke. Because when you turned your head to him, he almost looked entranced.
You see the gold light flashing over his back, wrapping him in this warm glow that you'd never seen him in. And he's gorgeous. He's so fucking gorgeous, awestruck like he was watching a goddess float down from the heavens above, bringing this halo down with her. And the halo hugged him, wrapping around his waist and his arms and embracing his legs like they begged to be worshipped. The way his scar was brightened, in the shadow but still clearer than it's ever been. It made him even more the handsome.
How was he allowed to be so perfect? How was he allowed to love you when his flaws made him even more perfect?
You made your way towards him without even commanding your feet to move, body begging you to touch him, see him up close, make sure he was real.
"Y/n," he spoke, voice cracking off at the end. Luke wasn't one to say your name a lot, he loved the pet names that he gave you and he loved the way you reacted to them with warmth.
His eyes sparkled with the call of your name, shining this bright blue that seemed like it could cut glass, scar others. But to you, oh to you they traced the contours of your face with their sharp edges. They shred your hair into the tiny strands they were and watch it flow with grace. Luke's eyes were shallow pools, ones that narrowed into a lake when his enemies threatened him.
And to him, you were the hard push of winds, shoving sand at him. Only when you were with him did that blue become so shallow, collect so much surface.
You neared him, smiling so widely, grabbing him by the forearms. The texture of his sleeves underneath your finger reminded you of his status. Of how important he truly was. Yes, he had always been important to you, but he was important to so many more people. He was important to his father, to his legacy, to the Empire.
But in his eyes, you only saw your own reflection.
"Luke," you slid your hands down his arms, gliding over the delicate cuffs and clutched his hands in yours. You felt bare skin against your own, a fact that made you beam with joy. His fingernails were cut down and manicured, hands smooth even through all the callouses that the lightsaber hilt should have applied.
"You look gorgeous," he whispered. His voice was gentle, like you'd disappear if his tone had raised. You left out an equally as gentle laugh puff out of your lungs, feeling your face warm at his compliment. He had never failed at making you blush.
You opened your eyes, seeing his cheeks dusted pink, scar crinkling with his skin as he let his smile shine, straight teeth blaring the color white.
You leaned in, kissing the cleft in his chin twice, looking up at him from such a close angle almost didn't allow you to see him through your eyelashes at all. But you knew that this was the reason. The reason why you loved him so much because of this close perspective of the man you had already married so many months ago. He was someone that brought genuine safety to you, even when he was angry he always made you feel comfortable. When you were this close, being able to inhale his exhales, you knew you could truly never be safer. He was where you belonged and felt comfortable with.
"I swear to you, my whole lifeline, my star that shines through the night, that if there was another life that I couldn't live with you, I'd hate it. You are what I fight to keep, what I fight to protect. As... cruel as it may sound, to me there are no lives I fight for if they aren't your own. If anything were to happen to you, I do not know what I would do," he spoke, holding your hands tightly, "My future is clear to me where we stand. If anything were to happen, if you wanted something more, or something less, I'd leave the Empire to give that life to you. If you begged me to stay here, or to not return to the Death Star, I wouldn't deny you."
You leaned up to press your forehead to his. His hair tickled you, a fresh smile on your face.
"Oh Luke," you said. He opened his eyes, looking at you with something like childish wonder. The way you said his name so softly always sent him spiraling.
"I had often heard your name on Tattooine. It was a small town where a lot of word got around. Divorces, marriages, pregnancies, new hires, it always spread fast. And the Empire spread faster. When they had said that the Emperor found his son, that he was handsome and powerful, all the girls gushed over you. And I'll admit, I was jealous I would never be able to grab your attention like they could have."
Luke pressed a kiss to your lips, "I assure you, you outshine every face I've seen."
You giggled, "But- But I remember when that hysteria went away and everyone started looking at the people around them. I was with this boy, and he treated me the best someone could get on that sandy planet; he apologized when he felt like it, he left when he wanted to and he argued with me only to shut down every opinion I had. And I thought that's how life was meant to be. I thought that loving meant to listen and wait. But you've made me realize- there is so much more. You are so much more than I ever could have wanted. I love you, Luke Skywalker. I love you."
Your prince, ever so stoic, ever so elegant. Ever so respected. Yet he melted in your hands, at your words. He removed his hands from yours and planted them on your face before kissing you passionately, lips molding in a kiss so fervent that the ground around you wanted to shake.
I love you. His response echoed through the caverns of you mind.
•--•
Masterlist
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pagesfromthevoid · 2 years
Text
False God | m.m. | Epilogue
Matt Murdock x Avenger!reader
Word Count: 1.9k
Warnings: Fluff. Religious mentions and undertones
Author’s Note: Holy fucking shit. We did it. It’s here. We’ve done it. Thank you all for your love and support and I am just. I am so excited.
Series Masterlist | Talk to Me! | Buy me a coffee?
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“What are the odds you’ll help a friend of mine out?”
The first several months of everyone returning were rough; homes were rented out and sold. Jobs were taken over and lost. Foggy, Karen and Matt had a whole new set of clients, all needing help recovering what was lost five years ago. The offices of Nelson, Murdock and Page were constantly busy. Though Matt did his best to make time to spend with her. She’d taken up her receptionist position full time now, though only because she felt bad that they were so bombarded. Today, they were closing up early though.
Matt looked up from the case he was feeling over, brow raised. “Depends. Who is it?”
She hummed a little in response, looking over the newspaper in her hand. The front page showed Steve shaking Sam’s hand, holding the shield as he passed it down to the hero. Well deserved, truly. Though she was certain Sam would disagree with the sentiment. The bottom of the article had a blurry photo of Bucky, with a short blurb about his upcoming court appearance to determine if he would be pardoned.
“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes?”
Foggy looked up from his computer, frowning now. “You want us to represent the Winter Soldier?”
“You represented me —“
“You didn’t murder people for seventy years!” Foggy argued, falling back in his chair.
Matt stopped going over his paperwork, cleaning back for a moment as he considered it. “We can meet with him. But it’ll have to wait until next week.”
She beamed, sitting up straight at her desk. “Really? Thank god.”
“You might want to hold onto that gratitude until after tonight,” Matt grinned, looking over at her.
Both she and Foggy rolled their eyes. Karen walked out of her office, grabbing her jacket. “Let’s go, you. We have things to do before tonight.”
She groaned, throwing herself back in her chair dramatically. “I don’t need to do all that, Karen —“
“Yes you do. Now get your coat; we’re gonna be late for your nail appointment.”
She stood up as Natasha sauntered in, jiggling her car keys. “You’re both too slow.”
“Do you ever knock?” Foggy asked, looking at Natasha with a teasing grin.
“Don’t like my surprise visits, Nelson?”
“I don’t mind, but I’m pretty sure my girlfriend hates them.”
“Poor Marci,” Natasha teased, rolling her eyes. “Let’s go, ladies. We got shit to do.”
Grabbing her jacket, she slipped around the desk. As she tried to walk over to Matt to say goodbye, though, Natasha grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the door.
“Nuh uh. It’s bad enough luck to see the bride before the wedding. You’re not kissing him before it either.”
“I haven’t technically seen her today —,” Matt tried to argue, but they were out the door already.
*****
“You can always back out —,”
“Nat, no —,”
“I’m just saying. I know places we can hide. As your maid of honor, it’s my job to protect you.”
She rolled her eyes, running her hands down the front of her dress. It was nothing fancy; a tea length white dress with embroidered leaves along the skirt. It was pretty, and simple, and that’s all she needed. She skipped the veil, insisting that it didn’t really matter since he couldn’t see her anyway, though Natasha insisted on a dainty tiara in its place. The boldest part of her ensemble were her shoes —a darker shade of red, resembling a rather familiar suit.
Karen was finishing the last touches of her make up before finally stepping back and smiling proudly. “And we are…done.”
“Just in time, I think that’s May coming to get to get you two,” she pointed out just as May opened the door. Peter trailed behind his aunt with a sheepish grin on his face.
“Alright, you two, get up there and take your places,” May ordered, shooing Karen and Natasha out the door.
“Thanks for letting us use the shelter,” she said, taking Peter’s arm as he held it out to her.
“Matt kept up the rent while we were gone,” May reminded her with a tender smile. “It’s the least I can do, really. We’ll get it reopened soon, but for now, it’s set up just for you.”
May hugged her tight, rattling on about how beautiful she was and how happy she was going to be. Offering marriage advice and all. Peter had to shoo his aunt out as the processional music started up. She swallowed hard, taking a deep breath.
“You ready?” Peter asked, waiting to open the doors.
“As I’ll ever be,” she whispered, smiling as he opened the doors for her.
It was a small ceremony, with only the most important people in both their lives there. Karen and Natasha stood at the altar, where Foggy and Matt stood as well. Peter would join Matt up there soon. Steve, Bucky and Sam sat on her side, with May conveniently between Steve and Bucky. Pepper and Morgan were there as well, with Clint, Thor and Dr. Banner. Jimmy and Scott sat in the back, waving excitedly at her. Even Fury and Hill made an appearance, sitting in the back. Foggy’s family, along with Marci, sat on Matt’s side. The kids were whispering amongst each other, pointing at all the heroes in the room.
With the doors opened, everyone stood and faced her. Matt turned as Foggy leaned in, no doubt trying to describe what she looked like. But he didn’t need to —because Matt’s vision of her appeared before him. His breath hitched as Peter walked her down the aisle, and Matt covered his mouth as she slowly approached him at the altar.
There were no words to describe the feelings Matt had. Nothing could compare to what she looked like, walking to him. Preparing to be his for the rest of their lives. He took off his glasses, wiping his eyes as he felt himself start to tear up. She couldn’t help the smile that spread over her face as she stopped in front of the altar. Peter wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight. When he let go, he stepped beside Foggy, who clapped him on the shoulder gently.
Maggie approached the couple, standing under the arch holding the Bible in her hands. She was smiling at Matt, tears in her own eyes.
“Please, be seated,” Maggie announced, holding the Bible close to her chest. “We have come together today for a wonderful occasion.” Maggie looked between her and Matt, wiping her own eyes. “You’ll need to forgive me; I may cry myself here. Because we are here to see the holy union of my son, and his beautiful fiancée.”
There was a short pause, and after a moment, Maggie spoke up once more. “The question is asked, ‘is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love? And the answer is given.’” She looked down at her Bible, opening it slowly as she leafed through her own written notes. “And yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is an old man and an old woman finishing their life’s journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are wrinkled but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love.
“You two will find that, even when the road gets hard and people tell you that you cannot be led by blind faith, love will guide you. You both have faced your fair share of heartbreak and pain, but you have found yourselves drawn to each other. And that is a love worth worshipping.”
Maggie motioned to Foggy, who pulled the wedding bands out of his pocket. He had handed one to Matt, and the other to her.
“Do you have vows prepared?” Maggie asked, closing her Bible and clutching it to her chest once more.
She nodded once, handing her bouquet to Natasha, who swapped it out for a piece of paper. “I…I wrote these when we first talked about getting married,” she admitted, unfolding the page. “Matt, I love you. I have loved you since the moment you laid on the floor of my apartment with me, and you saw me for the first time. Even after everything we have gone through…you still do it for me, Matt. And even if things go wrong, or life decides to take another swing at us…I think we might just get away with being happy. As long as I have you.” She folded the page again, taking a deep breath as Natasha took it back.
Matt smiled at her, wiping his eyes again as Maggie motioned for him to begin. “I know that I haven’t made it easy to love me. I have done so much, making it feel like we were crazy for making this work. But we did; however I said something when we first started this and I…I have to take it back.” Matt paused, running a hand across his jaw as he took a breath. “Do you remember how I said I’d die for you?” She nodded once, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to die for you; I want to live for you. And that is more than I ever thought I could want.”
Maggie covered her mouth, trying to keep herself from crying. A deep breath from her and she fanned herself for a moment before she looked between the two. “If there are no objections to this union —though, even if there is, I will choose to ignore you —please, Matthew, present the ring.” Matt took her hand gently, sliding it on her finger as Maggie spoke. “With this ring, do you promise to love her through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse, so long as you shall live?”
Matt nodded frantically, looking to her. “I do.”
Maggie turned to her next, smiling brightly. “Please, present the ring.” She took Matt’s hand, lifting it with trembling hands as she slipped the ring onto his finger. “With this ring, do you promise to love him through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse, so long as you shall live?”
“I do. I really do,” she promised, holding Matt’s hand tight in hers.
“Then, by the power vested in me by the state of New York as well as the eyes of God, I now pronounce you man and wife. Please, you may kiss your bride.”
There was no hesitation as Matt pulled her into his arms, kissing her with every ounce of love he had in his body. Everything they had gone through, everything they had dealt with and lost —it had led to this moment. Her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close as she poured all of herself into the kiss, basking in the warmth that was their forever.
When they pulled away, they grinned at each other like fools, noses brushing against each other. The members of the ceremony stood, throwing applause and cheers at them. Whistling and shouting surrounded them as they stood there, lost in each other for a moment.
“I love you, Mrs. Murdock.”
“And I love you, Mr. Murdock.”
———
Taglist (CLOSED): @thebisexual-disaster @chims-kookies @ferxaniti @heybabyshae @notalxx @gothicxbarbie @dark-night-sky-99 @blacxk-moony @celestialissues @pinkybee926 @bex-tk1 @jasontoddthezombie @killthebutt4fly @softieekayy @tremendoushearttaco @cbloodmarch @ammiddlechild @venusriver @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @yikes-buddy @buckyspetal @baconlover001 @flimsysquid @reh-llik @messagesinthesky @dreamypanda @happyfern2 @svft-cas @andiforgetaboutyoulongenoughh @deafeningnightcollection-things @milf-murdock
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jojoturnip · 2 months
Text
I had a horrible dream about you last night. I don't have your phone number, I've lost it somewhere along the years.
I have your mom's number. And your step dad's. Do either of them remember me? Could I text them and ask if you were okay, or would they think it was spam?
Google hangouts is dead now. That's how we used to talk. I have your Facebook. I sent you a message as soon as I woke up, tears running down my face. You haven't read it yet.
In the dream, you had killed yourself back in highschool. Your parents had given me this black box of your remains, and I'd stored it for years in my parents house, never daring to look inside and see the last of you.
I remember sitting on your bed when you showed me your father's ashes compressed into this pink plastic container. It was shaped like a heart or a star I think. It has his name in black font across the top. You rubbed your finger over the edges.
I didn't want to look in that box and find a matching plastic piece of you.
Wendy was the one who gave me the box in my dream. She was pissed, but not at me. At you. For dying and leaving yourself in my hands. A girl who had abandoned you.
Sometimes I wonder how you think about our past. Do you wonder how things could have gone differently? Do you still think about your curses that silenced the cafeteria and the peach pit in my hand? Do you think about the day you called me terrified of your boyfriend years down the line?
I never forgot you, you know. I think about you a lot. I wrote a book about you, about your life and my life and how it all got twisted. About how we were kids with far too high expectations. About how you were the last person on Earth to know me before I lost so much of myself.
You knew the sunshine, yellows, always positive and preppy version of me. Im fighting still to get the pieces I want of her back, but I still wonder if you would recognize me at all now. Could we walk by each other and pass as strangers?
I didn't talk about it then. I didn't know how, and no one could handle the small problems I was bringing up. I grew up in an abusive household. Things were always a little bad, but it got so much worse the first year of high school. I lost my faith in humanity.
Sometimes, I think I was wrong to lose faith in you, though.
Other times I think you really would have hurt all those people had I not stepped up.
My parents moved a couple of years ago and left a bunch of my stuff in a storage unit that I continue to stall on opening. In my dream, I found your box there. I took it to two of my current friends and asked them for help finding a place to bury you. I wanted you to rest, I didn't want to hold on to you anymore.
We walked through several forested places, somewhere in the celery bog probably. We knelt down in a muddy area where the forest met the creek. I figured you, or at least the old version of you, would like it there.
Slowly, I unpacked your box. There was no plastic heart or star. There was a small bag of ashes and a bag of bones I couldn't identify. Those were the only human remains your mom had given me. The rest was just what remained of your life.
Rocks, gems, twisting branches, beaded jewelry, hand-embroidered pins. I sorted these pieces of you out on old linens on the forest floor.
Why did you leave these to me?
What pieces of you do you want me to keep?
The dream ended around there, but it felt so real that I woke up still believing fully that you were dead. Off I went to Facebook, reaching out to you in panic for the first time in years.
I'm still waiting to hear back.
You knew me back when I trusted my intuition more. I hate to think that my dream means anything real.
I know we aren't close any more. But I've never called you anything other than my friend. I have never stopped caring about you, and you don't need to feel the same to keep my number in your phone just in case.
Just tell me you're okay.
My friends now tell me I ask if they're okay far too often. I don't think they see this anxious intuition inside of me. This breathing thing that knows when something is wrong.
Just tell me you're okay. Please.
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Like I did with you
So I’ve been procrastinating hard during my study break for my exams, but here have a song fic!
Ghost of you by 5SOS
Genius comments: The song tells the tale of a heartbroken lover who has lost his significant other – due to a breakup or even suicide/death – and is refusing to accept the fact that she is never coming back.
I didn’t feel like writing angst and whenever I hear this song I feel like ballroom dancing (and I have).
Also thank you to the lovely people on the Maribat discord server!
Ao3
The sequel ‘It started with a whisper’ is up!
————————
Gotham Academy implemented a new ‘Study Abroad’ program due to recent funding from a local humanitarian. This program gave the students of Gotham Academy a chance to study abroad in Europe and vice versa. Countries like Sweden, Greece, Germany, Ireland and more participated in the program; offering a multitude of high schools with many different courses.
And because of that very wealthy benefactor, his son got first pick on where he would like to study. This was 100% not a forced decision at all to subtly keep track of the happenings of Paris. With that the Ice Prince of Gotham took the City of Love by storm.
He had been at Collège Françoise Dupont for the past few months, and it’s been hell. The class he had been placed into was ripping apart at the seams. There were two students that the class gravitated towards; he observed some of the others meeting in secret, without the knowledge of their respective ‘leaders’.
The first student that held the majority of the class’ focus was Lila Rossi. She was a black hole with beady green eyes, who dragged who ever was in her reach to an agonising fate. Damian saw through her deceptions and rejected her flirtations. The students that followed her, ate up whatever lie she spat out. Rossi soon learned that lies about the Wayne family and Gotham wouldn’t fly with him.
“Really? You worked with Monsieur Wayne?” The pink clad girl, Rose, squeaked.
Damian had just walked into class on his second day at the hell hole and already regretted it. He shot a glare towards the large group, “Who ever told you that is severely misinformed. My father has never worked with a minor from Europe, due to potential rumours and allegations it could cause. It is not a threat but a promise if a lie of similar caliber is spread there will be a lawsuit.” And with that he walked towards his seat in the back, the Ice Prince had cast his decree, the class’ atmosphere had frozen over.
The second student was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Those that surrounded her were Alix Kubdel, Chloé Bourgeois, Max Kanté, Lê Chiến Kim and the occasional secret appearance from Juleka Couffaine. They didn’t view Dupain-Cheng through rose coloured lenses, they were always grounded and opinions were respected. Damian, who was a loner without Jon at his side, was satisfied by himself; Marinette respected that and didn’t force him to socialise like Lila tried to.
So that leads us to this. He stood against a sidewall of the giant banquet hall, staring out at the crowd before him. Jon was walking to wards him with a can of sprite in hand. Jon had moved to Paris with him but had been placed into a different class. The boy who was the epitome of sunshine stuck around the Ice Prince, their friendship is an enigma to the Françoise Dupont students.
Jon’s face was flushed. He had just gotten a drink after dancing for the past hour. Tonight was the night of the Collège’s formal dance for their graduating class. Skirts of all colours and fabrics swirled, as their partners (majority of whom had matching suits) twirled them to the music.
Jon, gesturing to the crowd, asked him whether he was going to stand there all night or dance. Taking a sip of his drink a smirk appears on his face, “unless the great Damian Wayne is to much of a coward to dance.”
Here I am waking up
Still can't sleep on your side
Damian’s head snapped towards the taller boy, “Are you seriously using my ego to get me to dance?”
Jon raising an eyebrow, “Well?”
If I can dream long enough
The temperamental teen stormed off, grumbling about “Jon being as bad as Todd”. Scanning the room he search for a suitable partner, there was no way he would embarrass himself by dancing alone.
You'd tell me I'd be just fine
I'll be just fine
He spotted Dupain-Cheng stood off to the side, alone. She was draped in a layered white dress with black hemming. As he neared, he realised that the asymmetrical skirt was actually a light blush with her signature apple blossom flowers embroidered. She looked up at him and he straightened his stance, slowing his pace. Her sapphire eyes locked on to his, her bangs curled off to the side along with the rest of her hair in beach waves.
So I drown it out like I always do
She gifted him a small smile, a usual occurrence within her interactions with him. He offered his left hand, bowing his head slightly. “Dupain-Che—“ he cleared his throat, “Marinette. Would you do me the honour of joining me in this dance?”
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you
Her eyes widened, not expecting the Arabian God of a teen before her to ask her such a question. She saw his temper during class during his spats with Lila and how he kept to himself without the presence of Jon. But here he was in a fitted Armani suit that made his green eyes glow, and hair messily slicked to the side. Marinette looked at his hand, glad that her makeup mostly hid her blush.
And I chase it down
“I am...” She paused to find the right word, “I am a bad dancer. It is better for everyone that I don’t participate.”
“I can think of nothing less appealing than an evening of watching other people dance.” A small gasp escaped from her mouth before she could stop it. She watched as his mouth twitch’s downwards before his facade returned with full strength. “If you do not wish, to I won’t force you. But if you’ll allow me I’ll guide you through the dance to make sure it isn’t an utter disaster.”
With a shot of truth
Marinette’s lips quirked, giggling as she took his hand, “Your funeral Damian.”
What had he gotten himself into?
The two entered the dance floor, taking up the dance support hold. Their dance had the basic steps of the waltz, with a promenade and many spins; some as a couple and some were just Mari. Damian soon found he enjoy watching the sparkles in her dress light up as she spun. It became even more enjoyable when he discovered that the dress was her own creation.
Dancing through our house
The two made quiet conversations during their dance. Damian pulled her closer by the waist as they repeated the basic steps, their bodies perfectly in tune with each other. “You are a fine dancer despite your protests”
With the ghost of you
Marinette tilted her head up at him, blinding him with a dazzling smile. Damian’s heart fluttered, the two always had a mutual respect but it seems to have grown into a fond appreciation.
From the tables scattered around the dance floor there was a blond, with his fist clenched. Lila had dragged him off of the floor as soon as Damian and Marinette made their debuts; together. The brunette was now off angrily gossiping to Alya and any other who’d listen. It was a hot topic between Lila and Alya that Marinette loved him, although now, as he watched her dance with Damian, he was unsure as to whether that was ever true. He sat there, glued to his seat, watching the spectacle before him.
Cleaning up today
Found that old Zepplin shirt
The two dancers didn’t notice that everyone had cleared off the floor to watch them. They danced in sync, no movement was made without the other following it. Adrien had realised awhile ago that even though he didn’t have romantic feelings for Marinette, he cherished her friendship. That relationship was now tarnished due to the path he took when he first revealed his knowledge of the deceptions. His father had forced him to keep Lila happy, even if it made him miserable.
You wore when you ran away
And no one could feel your hurt
He had lost her, and he was unsure as to whether he could gain any semblance of their relationship back.
We're too young, too dumb
To know things like love
Damian lifted his partner’s right hand and twirled her three times, they both were content within their own world. The two swayed before turning together and walking around the now open space.
But I know better now (Better now)
Marinette flushed as she realised what was happening around her, leaning towards her partner she whispered, “I think we’ve become an impromptu entertainment.”
Too young, too dumb
To know things like love
Too young, too dumb
Damian subtly gazed behind her seeing their peers in a circle surrounding them. He was on the inside looking out, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world. He whispered reassurances in her ear, he wished to finish the song before he released her from his embrace. The two drowned out their audience, focusing on each other and the beat of the song.
So I drown it out like I always do
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you
And I chase it down
With a shot of truth
That my feet don't dance
Like they did with you
The melody slowly faded off as the last lines were sung. The two finished on a basic waltz step before swaying in each other’s arms. The music ends and there is silence, blood rushed to their ears and their breaths mingled.
The two stayed in the other’s embrace, face-to-face, staring. They broke out of their trance by clapping. Looking around Marinette saw many of her peers and most of the supervising teachers applauding their performance.
Their friends broke through the crowd, Jon patted Damian’s shoulder (retracting before he got bit) while Chloe and Alix pulled Marinette back to their table to discuss what Disney magic had befallen the couple. The bluenette glanced back at her partner, mouthing a silent goodbye.
The crowd dispersed but were still buzzing from their display. Marinette was bombarded with questions, not only from her friends, but from other students about her dancing with the demon. Her stuttered replies did little to quench the crowd’s thirst. Her face must be comparable to that of a tomato.
Damian, having noticed the building crowd and Marinette’s uncomfortable stance, broke away from Jon. The crowd parted like the red sea, unwilling to be the one to anger the Ice Prince.
He offered her his arm (to which she took) and escorted her out to the patio outside. She stayed entwined with him, as she looked out at the stray Parisian night; leaning her head onto his should. Here the two could breathe. Here the two of them could be their present selves, no ghostly facades needed. It seems they could drown out anything in the presence of each other.
Unbeknownst to them, Jon had recorded their dance, along with their previous and present interactions of that night. He thought for a second to use it as blackmail material but decided to just send it off anyways. Oh the chaos it caused.
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dr3amofagame · 3 years
Text
take a shot - dsmp!mcc fic
MCC FIC! MCC FIC! MCC FIC! To be clear, I outlined this weeks back, when teams were first announced, and I took very very little from the actual MCC itself when it came to actually writing this - all I have are the same teams, but it really exists in its own continuity outside of Real Life MCC (obviously, as it’s using the dsmp characters) and everything like that as a whole! Just to be clear :D)
The worldbuilding is also Absolutely Bullshitted start to finish, as well as any and all medical information. Rip. We’re here for a good time, not for a long or particularly accurate one - hope you guys enjoy regardless!! I had a LOT of fun writing this fic, dsmp!mcc aus my BELOVED
title obviously from win it all by derivakat
---
Michael loves MCC.
But it’s one thing to love the normal Championships and quite another when his team looks like it’s falling apart from the inside out - and as the games progress, it becomes more and more obvious that losing, this time, might not be an option.
tws: C!QUACKITY CRITICAL (sorry i promise i love him but he is NOT portrayed very nicely here, very dark portrayal of him), implied trauma, abuse, torture, panic attacks, manipulation, gaslighting, needles, hospitals, MCC-typical violence, emotional distress, prison arc, pandora’s vault themes
(16k words !! :D long boi) 
Michael loves MCC.
Of course he does! It’s fucking MCC - like, who wouldn’t love it? MCC is how he met so many people, how he met Dream, that one time, the two of them teamed with Techno and Burren and winning it all - MCC is a goddamn blast and he’s thankful every time he gets the invite that he’s able to compete. 
Still- it’s hard not to be a little more nervous, now. 
Dream gave him an invite to his SMP right after they teamed, but it wasn’t until months later that Michael actually cashed it in. Entering the server, it became very obvious very quickly that the DreamSMP, as it’s known, isn’t quite the same as its shiny media appearance. The spawn was covered in blocks, creeper holes littering the ground. The people he passed were grey-faced, too stoic to be the same, smiling faces he remembers from only less than a year ago. The air stings of gunpowder and iron. Worst of all are The Crater, shoddily covered in glass that does nothing to hide the damage done, rending the server in two straight down to bedrock, and the Prison, looming on the horizon. Absent-mindedly, Michael rubs at his left shoulder, remembering the Warden setting the prongs of his trident against the skin in warning, just hard enough to barely draw blood. Yeah, that place is bad news. 
The fact of the matter is the server is a mess. And like, okay, whatever, Michael gets it. Everyone has their issues - it’s just the DreamSMP seems to have more than most. Despite his original worries, it’s honestly not been as bad as he originally feared upon logging in; yeah, Bad and Puffy and Foolish and the rest of them are a little more trigger-happy than he might’ve expected (and he’s not going to say that Bad crying over turtles wasn’t a little startling when he first joined, but honestly he thinks Bad is just Like That.) There’s way more death than he’s really comfortable with, and Puffy keeps mentioning Bad murdering her son (Foolish? He thinks? The guy is also a literal God but like, families are weird, who’s he to judge) in a way that’s way too casual to come from anyone entirely well-adjusted, but overall his experience has been alright. 
Still, he gets the feeling that nobody exactly wants the outside world to know about the issues with the place. It’s not an issue for him usually, not when his sleeping schedule is the exact opposite of most of the people he knows and he spends most of his time screwing around on the server, anyway (usually harassing the Warden until the asscrack of dawn if he’s being honest) but with MCC, with everyone watching - he’s starting to get why everyone from the SMP was so damn tense all the time, now. 
Anyway- he loves MCC, he really does. But even that doesn’t stop him from wincing when he sees his team card, the names Dream and Quackity and Sapnap written in Scott’s looping handwriting. He’s not seen Sapnap at all since joining the server, has only heard a little about his place (something Kingdom, not that he was paying attention) from Foolish, and has no idea what the man has been up to. Quackity is his own unique can of worms; Michael doesn’t know exactly what’s up with him and his country, but everything he’s heard so far has sounded like nothing but bad news, casinos and schemes and a trail of wreckage following wherever he goes. And Dream-
Michael looks out his window, chewing on his lip, looking directly in the direction where he knows the prison stands, impenetrable, intimidating. Where Dream’s cell is, in line with his house, where he’s been hidden for months without a trace. Where the Warden had confronted him that one night, a dangerous gleam in his eyes, blood splattered on his boots. 
There’s no real ignoring an MCC invite - not without good reason, not without the admins picking up on something being up. There’s not really a choice, here, but for Michael to duck his head down and pretend everything’s fine just like everyone else from the SMP. He directs one last glance at the prison before walking away, setting the invite on his counter. If he’s lucky, everything will turn out fine. 
(He ignores the part of him that asks what’s going to happen if they’re not. No point in worrying about what hasn’t happened yet - right?) 
---
Weeks pass, the tournament creeping closer, and Michael gets no alerts from his teammates on his comm. No one comes to his house to check in, say hi, not even a ‘hey, we’re kinda competing in a massive tournament in like, seven days, you ready?’ Hell, he even starts checking his goddamn mailbox for a letter or something only to come up empty-handed every time. Never mind performing well - it’ll be a miracle if their team manages to arrive at the tournament at all. 
It isn’t until the day before MCC, the sun high in the sky at what must be near noon, when he finally gets a message on his comm. Michael fishes it out with a frustrated huff, seeing Quackity’s name pop up first when he manages to turn on the screen. 
Quackity whispers to you: you down for some practice?
It takes a couple seconds for him to blink away his shock - out of everyone he expected to arrange practice for their team, Quackity was definitely not at the top of the list. He half-thought they would have to drag him to the tournament kicking and screaming; from what he’s heard, he’s been nothing if not devoted to his country. Shaking his head, he goes to reply; practice is practice, and their team really needs it. 
You whisper to Quackity: sure. practice server?
Quackity whispers to you: yes
Pulling up his server list, Michael scrolls for the practice server, finding it and then letting the server transfer do the rest. A few nausea-inducing seconds later, he’s at the practice server spawn, standing in the middle of a neatly paved road surrounded by colorful arenas and signs. 
“Michael!” 
He turns; there, by the Battle Box arenas, Quackity is waving at him, already dressed in a red varsity jacket and a pair of shorts, the jacket bearing a front pocket embroidered with a rabbit and a large R stitched onto the back. He reaches behind him for a red bag, throws it his way for Michael to catch mid-air. 
“Got these outfits for us last minute - hope it’s alright with you,” Quackity smiles, and Michael tries to prevent his eyes from clinging to the scar spanning the entire left side of his face. “Anyway- how are you, man? I feel like we haven’t seen each other at all on the server. How’s it been?”
“I’m good- it’s been good.” Michael opens the drawstring bag, cataloguing the contents - there’s a jacket, just like Quackity’s, a pair of shorts and sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a headband, all in varying shades of red and white. “Nice outfit- thank you. Is anyone else around?”
Quackity waves a hand behind him. “Yeah- Dream’s here. Should be coming out of the arena soon, actually.” Michael looks over behind his shoulder to where he’s pointing - there, walking down the stairs, is another figure wearing all red that must be Dream. “There he is- hey Dream! Michael’s here!” 
Dream hurries down the stairs; unlike Quackity, he is wearing the sweatpants along with the same jacket, hands stuffed in his pockets. His hair is a lot longer than Michael remembers, pulled back behind his head in a ponytail, mask, as usual, fastened over his face. He settles behind Quackity, giving Michael a small wave; his hands are covered by a pair of fingerless gloves. 
“Hey, Dream!” Michael grins; it’s been such a long time since he’s seen his old teammate, and despite the circumstances and everything that’s apparently happened since then, it’s still pretty damn nice to see him. “How’ve you been?”
Dream seems to freeze for a moment, before shaking his head. “Good,” he says, quiet, sounding almost breathless. Michael’s eyes go to the slivers of skin that show on either side of his face, to the slight shake to his hands. 
“You alright? You look a little pale,” Michael asks, and he definitely doesn’t miss the way Dream stills at the words, muscles tensing, gaze averting to the side even with the mask - doesn’t miss how Quackity steps forward, looking Michael in the eye as he tosses a casual arm around Dream’s shoulder, smiling brightly. 
“Don’t worry. This idiot has just been practicing a bit too much before you got here,” Quackity gestures with a flippant twist of his wrist, “You know how he gets. Right, Dream?” 
“Um- yeah. Ha,” Dream responds just a little too late to be strictly normal, shoulders tight and nearly pulled to his ears under Quackity’s arm. “Practice- I’m a little out of shape.” 
“You sure?” Dream’s breathing hitches and Quackity steps forward, just a little bit, eyes still fixed firmly on Michael’s own even as he shifts his gaze to try and look at Dream. “We can take a break if you need, Dream-”
“I’m fine!” Dream smiles with a little stuttered breath that turns into a small laugh, “It’s- uh. It’s fine. Thanks Michael, but we can practice. Not much time left to waste, you know?”
“You sure, Dream?” Quackity says, suddenly, voice soft and sincere. “I guess it has been a while since you’ve been able to practice- you sure you don’t need a break?”
Dream shakes his head firmly. “No- it’s fine. Really- where’s Sapnap? He should be coming soon, right?”
“If you say so, pal,” Quackity replies, doubt coloring his tone as he pulls out his communicator. “I told Sapnap to come, he replied a couple minutes back; he should be here soon, I think. You want to go meet him at spawn?”
Dream nods, and they begin to set out towards the center of the server, Quackity and Dream quickly taking the lead as Michael falls back. After a minute, Quackity falls into casual conversation, rambling about something as Dream nods, Michael trailing behind the two of them and adding his own input as he sees fit. Sapnap arrives soon after, and the noise level picks up even more after that, Sapnap and Quackity falling into an easy rhythm of banter and quips as they set out to practice Battle Box and Parkour Tag, carefully working their way through the different games under Dream’s tutelage and advice. 
And here’s the thing- Michael isn’t stupid. Yeah, he’d hardly consider himself a top tier MCC player, and he’ll be the first to say that he’s nowhere near qualified to deal with the literal laundry list of issues that affect every member of the SMP, but even so, he’s not clueless. He’s good at looking at multiple sides of a situation, doesn’t easily give into intimidation or manipulation, and he’s observant as all hell. So when Quackity wraps his hand around Dream’s wrist, fingers wrapping all the way around until his knuckles pale, when Dream winces, muscles in his arm locking before letting it go limp, not protesting when Quackity drags him forward except in the tiny, tight expressions that flit across his face every few moments, tight and gasping and shaky at the corners - Michael notices. 
“See you at the tourney, yeah?” Quackity calls to him after practice with a wink before clapping Dream on the back, Michael watching silently as the muscles of Dream’s neck pull tight, head ducking to his chest. “Good job, big guy,” he says, laughing. “Keep this up for tomorrow and we’ll be good.”
“Mmhm,” Dream mutters after a brief second, “We’re- we’re gonna win.”
“Betting on it, pal,” Quackity replies, voice light in a way that completely fails to explain Dream’s full-body flinch. “MCC, huh? Can’t fucking wait.”
“See you tomorrow, Quackity,” Michael says as he presses DreamSMP on his server list, pretending that a chill doesn’t crawl down his spine at the smile that the other man throws his way in return. 
---
There’s no real easy answer.
Michael comes to that conclusion at some point in the middle of the night, restless and pumped on way too much adrenaline to go to sleep. He can’t outright antagonize Quackity, can’t let him know he knows something’s up - not when Quackity had already spent the majority of practice keeping one dark, narrowed eye on him at all times, lips pursed in a slight frown whenever he thought Michael wasn’t looking. He’s not stupid; whatever’s happening between Dream and Quackity is secret, and kept that way for a reason. His mind goes back to the brief flashes of anxiety that had moved over Dream’s face before he could react fast enough to school them back into a carefully neutral position; whatever it is, he doubts it bodes well for Dream in the slightest. 
Unfortunately, his hands are pretty damn tied. He knows public opinion on the masked man in the server is overwhelmingly negative, but has no damn idea how far it extends. How many people are in on whatever’s happening in that damn prison? How many people know what would make Dream, bold and bright and recklessly confident in all of Michael’s (rather limited) memories, into someone so quiet, unimposing, nervous? His head spins with the possibilities, with the ever-present reminder to not make a fuss, let the tournament pass on, to never, ever let anyone find out what’s going on within the SMP. Should he do anything at all? 
Too soon, it’s morning, and he drags himself out of bed with a groan to glare at the sun streaming through his window. Somewhere, Quackity and Dream and Sapnap are also waking up, are preparing to compete in one of the biggest damn tournaments to exist. Michael sighs, glancing over to where he’s set out his outfit, freshly pressed and waiting. Any other day, and he’d probably be fucking ecstatic. Here, he buries his head in his hands, muffling a frustrated groan against the palm of his hands. 
He loves MCC, but he sure as hell doesn’t like whatever the hell is going on with the rest of his team. 
Getting into the server goes smoothly enough. The outfit is comfortable and looks damn good, props to whoever made the thing, and the sight of the multicolored crowd successfully manages to tamp down some of his nerves. He busies himself with saying hi to all of the members waiting in the lobby, happy for the chance to talk to some people he hasn’t seen in ages, feels the night of anxieties wash away with every stupid joke told and burst of laughter drawn from his lungs. 
They come back the moment Scott steps up in front of the lobby. “Teams, it’s time to head to your team rooms! The tournament will begin in fifteen minutes,” Scott says, expression sunny and bright, “we’re wishing you all luck for a great performance today! May the best team win!” 
In a flurry of movement, they’re all whisked to their rooms for a final few minutes of preparation and morale-boosting, and Michael enters the glorified dressing room to Quackity, Dream, and Sapnap already standing there, seemingly in the middle of conversation. 
“You ready to win?” Sapnap yells, and Quackity whoops, and Michael manages a small cheer of his own. They’re all visibly nervous; Quackity has scarcely stopped moving, pacing from one side of the room to the next; Sapnap is basically jumping in place where he stands. Dream stands at the very back of the room, looking tense; Michael directs a wave his way and gets a small one in return. 
“Game plan, game plan,” Quackity mutters, “do we know what games we’re playing first? Dream?”
He nods at Dream, and Dream stands up straighter, mouth falling open.
“Oh- um,” he hesitates, a strand of hair flopping forwards as he tilts his head in thought. “We’ll want to save Parkour Tag and Battle Box towards the end- maybe something more high-risk at the beginning, but not first, just to boost morale,” his teeth catch on his bottom lip, “Maybe something like To Get To The Other Side? If they have that- or Build Mart, if we can get it out of the way.” He shakes his head. “If that’s alright- I mean-”
“Great,” Quackity cuts in smoothly. “Sapnap? Michael? Does that sound good to you?”
Sapnap flashes a thumbs up, and Michael nods. “Yeah, sounds great. Thanks, Dream.”
Dream’s head snaps towards him, mouth slightly open in shock. The sight of it makes Michael’s gut twist uncomfortably; there’s something about how surprised he is, at the nervous hesitancy with which he spoke that was nothing like what Michael remembers of his easy leadership in that MCC with Techno, that doesn’t sit right at all in his stomach. Even with his expression largely hidden, there’s no mistaking the clear, genuine surprise on his face at the idea of someone thanking him - Michael tries to tell himself that he’s reading too much into it as Quackity continues to speak. 
“We’re going to win,” he grins, just a little too sharp at the edges, “so get out there and play like your lives depend on it, yeah?” 
Sapnap cheers, and again, Michael and Dream follow. It’s not until he’s outside the door, within the clamor of screaming teams and people counting down with the timer that Michael realizes that Quackity was staring at Dream the entire time. 
---
Michael curses, frustrated, when he’s knocked off a platform again, making sure to flip Krinios the bird before he falls into the Void entirely. When he makes it to the other side, Quackity and Dream are already deep in conversation - if you can call it that. Even from here, it looks worryingly one-sided.
“-were you thinking, falling off there-” Quackity’s hand is on Dream’s shoulder, Dream standing stock-still in front of him, “you better be taking this seriously, Dream.”
“Hey- sorry about that,” Michael calls with a wave, “I swear Krinios had it out for me. At least I made it across, right?” 
Quackity turns, startled, and in the split-second that it takes for him to register Michael’s appearance, his expression smooths over into something friendlier, more inviting. “Michael!” He says, enthusiastic, and it’s like the anger that had filled his words just seconds before was never there at all. “Don’t- don’t worry about it, man. We all kinda dropped the ball on that one, right Dream?” 
The words should be encouraging, just simple ribbing between teammates. Dream’s mask is still ducked down, facing the floor, shoulders slightly hunched in. 
“Um- Sapnap did pretty good,” Dream says, quiet, “he got top ten, right?” 
Michael looks over to where Sapnap is standing a little ways away, seemingly busy typing on his communicator. Quackity laughs, sharp and loud. 
“True,” he punches Dream lightly on the upper arm, and Michael watches the way he freezes the second the fist makes contact with his jacket, “come on, man, you’re losing your touch. You really gonna let yourself get beat by Sapnap?” he shakes his head, still laughing as he pulls open his communicator. “Jesus- even I beat you in that last round. Watch your spot, Dream, I’m coming for you.” 
“I mean,” Michael says when a second passes and it becomes clear Dream isn’t going to respond, “Dream was doing pretty well with the last two rounds, right? I thought I saw his name pretty far up there.” 
Quackity takes a second before responding, again, staring at Michael oddly as he does. “That’s true,” he concedes, “hey- I was just making a joke, don’t worry. It’s all for fun, right Dream?”
His gaze goes to Dream, and automatically, Michael follows. Dream seems to startle under the attention, twitching Quackity’s direction in the awkward silence that results. Michael watches as the mask slants slightly to face Quackity, as Quackity looks back at him with an intense, unreadable expression, shoulders strangely tense. Whatever unsaid conversation that seems to pass between them is entirely lost on Michael as Dream finally responds with a sudden, almost strangled bark of laughter. 
“Yeah- just jokes,” his fingers twist over one another, hands held close together in front of his body, “Though Qu- Q’s right, I- I should probably pick it up. We’re playing to win.” 
A ding alerts them to the end of the round, and Michael steadies himself in preparation for the teleport to the next map. As he turns, he catches Quackity’s expression, once again, and the self-satisfied smirk on his face as he continues to look at Dream. 
“Good luck,” he calls just before they enter the next round, and tries not to think too much about what he’s saying it for. 
---
They manage pretty well for the rest of To Get To The Other Side, finishing with a second place overall that got cheers from Sapnap and even a slight smile from Dream. Hole in the Wall, on the other hand, has been a lot less successful - though Michael will be the first to say that it’s his fault. His practice in the last few months has been lackluster (at best) and it definitely showed in the arena. 
He leans over the railing, watching Dream and Sapnap through the crowd of participants left that have yet to be knocked out by the giant walls of slime. Quackity’s standing next to him, having been similarly thrown off the platform early in the round, expression tight and lips set in a small frown, and looking at him for too long makes Michael uneasy so he looks down at the arena again. They’re in the last round, and they’re supposed to be making callouts anyway for their teammates still participating below.
Without thinking, once again, Michael looks over at Dream. Sue him, he knows the guy best and Dream has been acting odd all day, to put it lightly. Even ignoring the part of him that’s screaming that something’s wrong, that there’s something up that has everything to do with the beanie-wearing man standing besides him, it only takes a few minutes of observation to see that Dream is - for the lack of a better word - off. Michael watches as he vaults over another wall, only barely managing to bring himself to his feet in time on the other side. Dream’s movements - even to his untrained eye - have always been fluid, effortless. He jumped and vaulted and ran like gravity didn’t exist, like every physics-bending maneuver he made was as easy as breathing. Michael remembers watching him sprint over the parkour course before, time completely unmatched as he appraised each obstacle and basically flew his way through, sounding hardly even winded when he whooped loudly in victory from the top of the salmon ladder. In total contrast, Dream jerks away from the coming wall again, movements sloppy and harsh as he scrambles to the other side of the disc-shaped arena. He’s still fast, and still making jumps, but everything is strangely angled where it had once been fluid, stopping and starting suddenly, moving in bursts of speed and then skidding to sudden stops. 
“WEST!” Quackity shouts, and Michael watches as Dream’s head turns jerkily at the noise before he dives out of the way of the incoming wall and manages, barely, to twist around the side. Michael winces at the tumble he takes on the opposite side, clutching his chest slightly as he stands back up again. 
“North!” Michael calls, because he should probably actually help his teammates, huh, and Dream manages to move around this one better, jumping through a hole in the wall and tucking and rolling as he lands. “Nice jump- East!” 
It’s an easy wall, thankfully, and both Sapnap and Dream visibly take a breath as they stand in place for the wall to pass over them. As it passes, a droning buzz comes from the speakers, and the walls below them speed up. 
“South-to your right!” Michael shouts as they turn, eyes turning between all of the false walls before finally focusing on the right one, his shout echoed by a similar one from Quackity. At each one of the calls from the man besides him, Dream seems to tighten further, movements increasingly erratic as he dodges and weaves around the walls. There’s still a lot of people left - Michael follows Dream through the crowd with a frown, watching as he and Sapnap jump the next wall, Dream’s foot nearly catching on the top edge. 
“West-” Dream flinches, jumping over the two-high wall at the last possible second, landing completely off-balance on the other side and falling to the ground. He scrambles to his feet, but there’s already a wall at the west edge of the platform - his head turns, still searching for the wall - Quackity yells.
“LEFT!”
Something in Dream’s movements seem to shift, even in the distance - Michael watches as he immediately, almost robotically, steps to the left at Quackity’s voice, not even jumping, not turning his head to take in his surroundings, just moving instinctually at the words, and slams into the coming wall hard enough to get flung into the middle hole in the platform. Quackity curses, fist crashing into the railing as Dream falls and the chat message shows on their communicators, and a second later he’s materialized beside them, face oddly slack and mask focused somewhere faraway. 
“Shit,” Dream mutters when he seems to come back into himself, shaking his head and then turning to the two of them, still by the railing, “Dammit. Sorry, I-“ 
“Don’t worry about it,” Michael cuts in before Quackity can speak. “You did good.” 
“I-” Dream catches Quackity’s gaze, then pushes his head away, mask facing the ground. Something about it and his raised shoulders and the dark, angry glare that Quackity directs over the railing when Michael looks back makes him shift in place, uneasy. “Could’ve done better, ha. Sorry.” 
The three of them watch, silent, as Sapnap continues to compete. He manages to get pretty damn far, making it to the top three, but getting knocked off-balance by a wall and off the platform just before the timer sounds. Michael cringes back at the sound of it over the speakers, watches the other contestants settle into place, panting, in victory.
“Great job, Sapnap,” Michael shouts when he materializes in front of them, and the other two are quick to echo his sentiments. If they sound a little duller than they should be, if Quackity’s jaw seems clenched and Dream’s all coiled up like a spring, far too tense, it’s from placing lower than they wanted and slipping in the rankings, not anything else.
Keep your head down, Michael reminds himself, and everything’s gonna be fine. And if the words ring more and more hollow with every repetition, well, that’s for him to ignore and for everyone else to never, ever find out. 
---
Buildmart is chosen next, which they all groan at, but at least it’s going to be out early and not left to ruin all of their scores later. Michael takes his place at his build, one third from the left side - it’s some abomination of colored glass and white concrete meant, if he is to guess, to emulate a stained glass window. He’s between Dream and Sapnap, the former positioned in front of a flower-dotted grass field with a picnic table, the latter staring down a miniature car with black concrete for tires and stone buttons for detailing. He breathes a steady breath as they await the countdown, already planning for his trip to the Colors section to grab materials for his build and the others’- Buildmart isn’t his strongest game, but it’s not his worst either, and he’s damn well going to try his best. 
He skids into the portal with an armful of colored concrete and glass, spilling half of its contents inside a chest before running to his build. He pulls himself to the crafting bench to craft - he squints at his build - he needs four red glass panes and 3 yellow, right. As he brings the panes to his inventory and begins laying out the frame of the build in concrete, he looks over to Dream, who is noticeably struggling with placing the flowers in his build and getting the placements to match that of the original. He knocks away a white tulip with a muffled curse, sounding frantic as he looks back to the original, and places it again to no avail. 
It seems that his struggle hasn’t only caught Michael’s attention, as the statue to the leftmost side of the room explodes in gold coins and confetti - Quackity has finished his build and is now looking at Dream with narrowed eyes. Dream places the flower again, and the build refuses to respond. Quackity’s gaze narrows further, and he opens his mouth-
“Hey Quackity!” Michael starts speaking before he’s even noticed that he’s opened his mouth, fumbling as he regains awareness of what he’s doing and tries to find a direction for his sentence to go, “do you have any concrete?”
Quackity looks at him like he’s grown a second head, which is fair, considering there’s a block of white concrete pretty obviously visible in his hand. “Um- no? Weren’t you supposed to go to Colors?”
Dream finally manages to place the tulip where it belongs, and the build between them disappears in another explosion of gold glitter. Michael laughs awkwardly. 
“Sorry- haha. I got a little mixed up.” He places the last piece of white concrete, watching as his own build disappears. A little wooden cottage takes its place, made of what appears to be just oak wood and cobblestone. “Are you going to get wood? Or should I?”
“I- You get wood,” Quackity shakes his head, visibly frustrated, “And I’ll get stone. We have to hurry, we’re falling behind.” 
After that, Michael finds it a little too easy - or maybe not easy, but at least tolerable, to interrupt when Quackity looks a little like he’s about to fall on the side of being angry versus just annoyed, stepping between his angry glares at Dream with a forced smile and an incessant string of annoying questions- 
“Hey Quackity, do you have any spare iron?”
“Hey Quackity, I think you placed that a little too far back.”
“Hey Quackity, can you take a look to see what I placed wrong?” 
It’s not perfect. It’s hardly even functional; Michael knows that Quackity has begun with the habit of directing death glares at his back whenever he thinks he’s not looking, his responses to Michael’s questions becoming more and more clipped, often paired with irritated grumbles and sighs. Sapnap, when Michael looks at him, seems largely engrossed with his own builds, but he’s also begun looking over at the two of them with a vaguely dissatisfied expression, and Dream only seems to be getting more jumpy with every frustrated growl out of Quackity’s mouth. Even Michael’s forced levity and falsely ignorant questions can’t do much against Quackity’s anger when they walk out of Buildmart dead last for the minigame, dropping their team all the way down to seventh in the overall rankings, and the tension within the team as they walk out - Quackity nearly stomping, Dream following with his hands wringing around each other and head ducked fearfully - is almost enough to make Michael scream. He looks at the scoreboard with a worried expression as he enters the Decision Dome, trying to quell the sinking feeling in his gut. 
There’s still five more games to go, and he’s not sure how long they can last before something snaps. 
---
Battle Box is chosen next, and they react to the game with quiet cheers and slightly grim faces. Michael’s been in enough MCCs to know that this game, of any, is crucial - after their lacking performances in the last two games, a good showing at Battle Box will be crucial to pull them back into the competition and raise morale. With Sapnap and Dream, if this were any normal game, they should be able to sweep through a good amount of the competition without much effort. As it is, though, Michael looks at the two more combat-oriented members of his team with a worried expression, the two barely even able to meet each other’s eyes. Their interactions so far have been less than promising- if they can’t hold it together for this round, well. 
Michael shakes his head. They’ll do fine. They have to. 
Even so, the first round only seems to confirm his concerns - they get woolrushed almost immediately, and in Dream and Sapnap’s stumbling to get to mid, nearly crashing into each other and focusing their efforts on the same player by accident, the other team manages to fill out the wool, sending them back to the spawn box even more frustrated than before. 
“Amazing teamwork, guys,” Quackity snarks immediately, and Michael rolls his eyes. 
“Like you did that much.” 
Sapnap is still staring at Dream oddly, Dream turning his head to avoid his gaze. The two of them look largely oblivious to Quackity and his whole deal, even as Quackity whirls around to give him the stink eye. 
“You didn’t do anything either, if I remember correctly,” Quackity mutters, and Michael shrugs. 
“Fair.” 
A ding alerts them to the round’s end, and they resign themselves to preparing for the next round. Michael picks the extra arrows from the wall, knowing that no one else will want the kit, and watches as Dream anxiously runs his hands over the crossbow. 
The next round goes better, barely; Michael and Quackity end up knocked out pretty early, but Dream and Sapnap manage to kill the rest of the team soon after. He watches from the box as they fill in the wool, Dream looking awfully tense as he shears away the white wool for Sapnap to fill it with red. Quackity watches them both with a tight expression, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. 
Michael turns away, ignoring him, going back to watching Dream and Sapnap still standing within the arena. Both of them look awkward, oddly out of step with each other - Michael’s not watched them fight much, but he knows that they have a reputation as a pair, was there for the Sky Battle round where they completely wiped through the competition. Even here, Sapnap moves forward and Dream flinches back - there’s something heavy and tense between them, lingering in the few words they’ve spoken to each other, if they’ve even spoken to each other at all, one always rushing forward too fast or following just a little too slow. They’re still brilliant fighters, almost unrivaled in hand-to-hand combat and with swords, but the faltering communication is sure to hurt them more in the future. 
His worries come true just three rounds later, the two in between being narrow wins for their team, each a little more shaky than would be comfortable. Michael has found himself easing off the worst of his anxiety in verbally sparring with Quackity, jabbing at the other with offhand remarks and little needling jokes to keep his attention off the other two, especially as his glare has become more pronounced and his words more angry. Even so, nothing he does or can do will fix the odd tension between Dream and Sapnap, whose communication remains as stilted and awkward as ever. 
They’re facing a stronger team, PVP wise, with Punz and Seapeekay, and Michael ends up falling in a bow duel against Jack. He watches as the Captain falls to a potion by Sapnap, then as Jack is taken out by a crossbow bolt courtesy of Dream, just before Quackity falls to a well-timed bow shot from the opposing team. 
That leaves the strongest PVPers to battle it out, and Dream and Sapnap manage to team up and kill CPK - but not without taking a nasty damage potion to the face that must leave the two of them low. Michael watches Punz, booking it to mid with a crossbow, anxiously - both of them would be a oneshot with the thing, and on the condition that he takes no damage before fighting with either of them outright, he’s probably got enough health to hold out a few hits. 
Sapnap pulls out a health potion, and Michael grins - that’ll be good for the two of them, and should secure them the win - only for him to gesture roughly with his sword and for Dream to stagger backwards, panic flashing over his face. He only seems to grow more fearful at the sound of glass shattering on the ground, falling backwards further - far enough to be largely out of range of health pot - and in their shock, Punz manages to catch both of them off guard and nail Sapnap with a crossbow bolt that downs him for the round before similarly dispatching Dream in two hits of his sword.
Sapnap explodes upon respawn in the box - “What was that? I had a health pot!”
“I-” Dream fumbles, face still oddly pale, “Sorry I didn’t- I- I-”
“We had that round!” Sapnap’s arms flail forward as he gestures angrily, Dream freezing further as one hand skims past his shoulder. “I can’t believe- I had a health pot! Punz was on, like, half! We could’ve killed him!”
“Easy, easy,” Quackity moves forward, putting a hand on both of their shoulders - Sapnap seems to relax immediately, while Dream, if anything, only looks more tense. “It’s time for the next round - we’ll talk about this later, alright?” 
Dream nods, movements overly tense, and Quackity flashes a toothy smile his way as Sapnap moves back, still mumbling to himself. He and Quackity move to talk in the back corner, words quiet enough that Michael cannot make them out, and something sick and cold slithers over his spine. Sapnap and Quackity are fiancés, aren’t they? 
Michael looks over at Dream, mask still covering his face as he looks away through the glass to the arena, shoulders still tight as Michael’s pretty sure they’ve been for as long as he’s seen him since he came onto the server. He remembers the panic that make itself obvious on his face every time Quackity came up to him, even as covered as it is, the similar- if not the same- fear that had painted his face when he respawned fresh off of the Battle Box round after Sapnap’s sword had passed a little too close to his body. 
Quackity and Dream- he’s sure, even if he doesn’t want to admit it, that there’s something going on there, dark and dreadful and poisonous. Who’s to say that Sapnap isn’t involved, as well? 
---
They finish Battle Box decently well, but not as well as they’d hoped, pulling them up to fifth place with a decently large gap between them and fourth. Quackity and Dream disappear immediately as the Audience Votes begin coming in, leaving Sapnap and Michael to stand awkwardly in the lobby to wait for the rest of their team to come back. Michael watches the crowd for a glimpse of Quackity and Dream, comes up empty. A sigh fizzles through his teeth as he looks up into the sky, the endless blue doing little to ease his nerves - he’s worried, even if he doesn’t want to think about it, for his teammates. For Dream. 
It doesn’t take a genius to see that the man is scared of Quackity, that there’s an odd sort of history there that Michael conveniently has no information about. Whatever it is, it’s left Dream unsure and uncharacteristically nervous, left the entire team floundering without proper leadership to tie them all together. Really, a part of him knows that the Championships should be the least of his concerns - if he were braver, or a little better at combat, or a little less inclined to just let things pass as they always have, then he’d be raising a fuss. Getting in the way, talking to Dream, doing something other than making backhanded compliments to Quackity that he’s sure have been doing little more than annoy the man further. 
“Michael?” Sapnap comes within his line of sight, lips pressed together in a carefully put-together expression that Michael is sure will collapse the moment they’re away from others’ prying eyes, “Can we speak for a moment?”
Michael forces another easy smile to his face as he turns towards his teammate, feels a little disgusted at the amount of them he’s had to use to simply function with the rest of his team. “Sure! Where to?”
They walk at a brisk pace to the team room, Sapnap’s eyes focused forwards the entire time, not speaking. If he’s being honest, it’s a little awkward, but the lighthearted comment on his tongue to break the silence dies out the minute Sapnap closes the door and looks back at him with fierce, focused eyes boring into him. 
“What’s your deal?” He hisses immediately, words pitched low even though he doesn’t really have to - there’s no one nearby, and the team rooms are decently soundproofed. Michael feels his hackles rising as Sapnap’s arms cross in front of him, eyes still focused on his own as he talks. “I’m not going to lie- I don’t know you that well, even though you’re on the SMP now, but can you quit it with Quackity already?”
“Quit what?” Michael snarks - sue him - matching Sapnap’s tone with irritation of his own. 
“Don’t- you’ve been antagonizing Quackity all day,” Sapnap’s hand runs through his hair, messing up his hair and tangling it into knots, “And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re kind of in the middle of a competition here? So it’d be really nice if you could save the fighting for until after we’re done?”
“Says you?” Michael can’t help the retort this time, huffing irately at the offended expression that flashes over the other’s face, “I don’t really know if you’ve noticed, but your teamwork has been a little less than stellar, today. Pot calling the kettle black, much?”
“What-” Sapnap looks confused, even through his anger, gesturing more and more wildly. “What do you even mean?”
“Oh, so are we just ignoring what just happened in Battle Box then?” 
Sapnap’s eyes flash as he closes into himself again, hands gripping at his upper arms as he crosses his arms in front of his chest once again. “That- that’s different. That’s because of Dream.”
“Oh, just keep blaming it on the other guy, why don’t you?”
“No-” Sapnap shakes his head furiously. “You haven’t been on here for nearly as long, you don’t get it, Michael. Dream- he’s-,” Sapnap flails, and Michael groans at the familiar words. 
“Dream’s what? I was on the team with the guy before, you know. It’s kind of the reason why he invited me in the first place?” He raises an eyebrow. “We worked together perfectly well then - am I supposed to believe that his self-proclaimed ‘best friend’ can’t do the same?” 
“You don’t understand,” Sapnap repeats, expression hard and oddly far away, “Dream- he’s changed- he’s done so many terrible things. I don’t know what he’s said to convince you, but he’s bad news, man. He’s hurt- so many people.” 
“Oh- you want to talk about hurting people?” 
Michael isn’t quite sure what comes over him - only really realizes a white-hot flash of rage lancing through his chest, a sleepless night and half a competition’s  worth of anxiety and frustration and build up combining into a sizzling spike of fury that briefly tinges his vision red. 
“How about the way Dream looks like he’s about to keel over whenever anyone gets close to him? How about how he flinches back at literally every loud noise and fast movement? How about how Quackity’s been making these stupid, angry comments at him for the entire competition that make him freeze for a minute each time? Or how about when you were in Battle Box and Dream backed away from your sword like he thought you were gonna drive it through his chest?” Michael barely feels himself stepping forward with each word, jabbing his index finger into the other’s chest. “You want to talk about hurting people? How about you go talk to that fiancé of yours and then come back to talk?” 
A loud, droning buzz comes over the speakers, alerting them of the end of the break. Michael steps back, face flushed in embarrassment, before the world whirls away and they’re teleported back into the Decision Dome. 
He adamantly refuses to meet Sapnap’s eyes as Quackity and Dream materialize in the sector with them, Quackity’s hand clamped around Dream’s upper arm as the other man keeps his eyes fixed firmly on the floor, looking even more panicked and frozen than before the break. 
“You ready to win?” Quackity laughs, and Michael watches as his hand tightens around the sleeve of Dream’s jacket, knuckles paling from the strain. 
“Yeah,” Michael tries to cheer, and it feels like ash on his tongue. “Let’s do this.” 
---
Survival Games ends up being picked next - Quackity and Sapnap quickly pull up to the front of the group, close enough to be within eyesight but too far to really pick up their conversation. Michael keeps an eye out for the reddish glow of their bodies as they scout the surrounding areas for chest, staying back with Dream as they look at the other side of the road. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel a smug sort of satisfaction of Sapnap seemingly confronting Quackity about whatever the hell has been going on, as awkward as his whole outburst had been. As it is, some time with Dream is nice without Quackity watching over his shoulder like a hawk - he directs a small, genuine smile at the man by his side that Dream seems to do a double take at before shyly returning it with one of his own. 
“There- I think I see a chest,” Michael points under a lamppost, running to the wooden box and flicking the lid upwards. He pulls out a chain chestplate that he promptly puts on himself, then throws over the iron boots to his teammate as well as a small stone axe that he’s sure Dream will make better use of. “We should probably catch up to the others - don’t want to be caught off guard while separated.”
Dream nods, and the two of them pick up the pace before finding another chest that Dream rummages through, this time, finding an iron sword that Michael takes for himself and a cake. 
“You’ve been doing really well so far,” Michael says after a few minutes of quiet, words becoming more firm when Dream looks up at him with a surprised expression. “Seriously- you’ve been doing great, man.”
“Thanks,” Dream smiles, words quiet and terribly sincere, and the sinking pit in Michael’s gut returns at the tone. “Not as good as I should, though. I’ve been underperforming a lot,” he laughs a little at the words, but even to Michael’s ears it rings hollow. “It’s not over yet, though.”
“No it’s not,” Michael concedes, rearranging his inventory as they run. “But it’s good enough, man, really - just look at my rankings.”
Dream huffs. “You’ve been doing good, Michael.”
“And you’ve been doing a hell of a lot better than me,” Michael tips his head in his direction. “Give yourself some more credit, man. You’ve been playing well.”
Dream smiles again, but even now the corners of his mouth seem tight, tense. “I need to play better, though, if we want to win,” he says, matter-of-fact, analytical to a damn fault. Michael rolls his eyes, but nods to concede the point. 
“Sure, but that goes for all of us, Dream,” he shakes his head. “And it’s okay if we don’t win, you know?”
“No.” 
Michael turns, frowning. Dream’s tone has become oddly flat, eyes dead as he continues to stare at the pavement under their feet. He seems to be chewing on his lip anxiously, startled out of his own thoughts when he looks up to meet Michael’s gaze. “I mean- I don’t know. I really have- want to win.” 
There’s something so carefully worded about the admission, quiet and scraped open and raw in the slow sincerity of the words. Michael wants to poke at it, wants to understand what’s left him so unsure of every step, what determination lies behind the words that has left desperation clinging to every shallow breath he draws. A crack of thunder on the horizon, heralding a player’s death, reminds him that now is not the time. 
Keep your head down. 
“Alright,” he smiles thinly, hoping that the fracturing, yawning pit of emptiness in his chest isn’t obvious in the words. “Then we’re going to win.” 
---
Michael skids to a stop at the finish line, feeling the elytra deequip as he’s thrown into spectator mode. He runs his hands through his wind-tousled hair, feeling it strain against his fingers as he roughly finger-combs it back into place. Dream and Sapnap are off to the side, standing next to each other but seemingly not speaking - Michael smiles as he floats over, still shaking the adrenaline off from the race. 
“Hey,” the two look up, smile in recognition, and Dream waves; there’s a small smile on his face, strained but present. “You both did really good!” 
“Thanks, Michael,” Dream laughs, earnest, “I did decent, I guess- haha. Top ten at least.” 
Sapnap whoops. “We’re popping off!” Michael cheers in agreement, and their efforts manage to pull Dream’s smile a little wider as he ducks his head to look away again. 
“Thanks, guys.” 
They watch as Quackity flies through the finish line, appearing in front of them and shaking his arms out as he gets his bearings. 
“Geez- that trident,” he shakes his head, looks up. “Hey, there you guys are. How’d we do?” 
“Dream got seventh,” Sapnap scrolls through his comm, looking through the rows of contestants and their times as they come in, interspersed by the occasional chat message, “And I got 10th. Michael got- 28th, I think? And you got 32nd.” 
“Hmm,” Quackity hums, “What do you think, Dream? Is that good enough to pull us to Dodgebolt?”
Once again, Michael watches as Dream stiffens under the scrutiny, head ducking down and looking for all the world like he’d rather be anywhere else. “Um- I don’t know,” Dream mumbles, “I messed up a trident- fell into the void once, probably could’ve done better otherwise-” his voice trails off, tensing further as Quackity takes his usual spot by his side, jabbing an elbow none-too-lightly into his ribs. 
“But you didn’t, though,” Quackity says, tone flippant, “so what do you think? With those placements- is it going to be enough?” 
“Hey, we did great, man,” Michael glares at him, more forward than he’d usually be - but all he can see is the shoulder that he has pressed against Dream’s arm, the way Dream’s stood stock still since the moment he made contact, “Lay off of Dream, would you? He did great.”
“Yeah, Q,” Michael’s eyebrows raise in surprise as Sapnap chimes in from the side, rising further when Sapnap moves forward to link his arm with Quackity’s own and half-drag him away from Dream. “Chill out, man, we popped off. We’re gonna fucking win this, ok?”
Quackity’s lips press together; he’s still smiling, but there’s no mistaking the seething darkness that lingers in his narrowed eyes and furrowed eyebrows, gaze still trained on the pale off-white disk of Dream’s mask. Still, with the rest of the team against him, he’s in a losing fight and he knows it; Michael watches as he visibly backs down, rolling his shoulders back as he lets Sapnap pull him further back. 
“We’re going to fucking win this,” he repeats, and Michael wonders how he manages to make the words sound so much like a threat.
---
“Sky battle,” Sapnap calls as the decision dome below them lights up in confirmation of the penultimate game, expression immediately becoming more focused as he turns back to the rest of the team. “Alright- strats, what are we thinking?”
“There’s the iron at spawn,” Dream starts, interrupted by the teleport to the Sky Battle arena, making him cut himself off comically and take a second to shake off the resulting disorientation, “And then there’s the iron in the nearby island. We gotta pick one, tower as soon as we can.”
“Got it,” Sapnap looks down, seemingly calculating, before looking up again - Michael has heard him compared to fire before, but he thinks this is the first time he’s really seen it; there’s a veritable blaze burning in his eyes as he looks at each member of the team, easily taking charge as they prepare for the first round. “Same buddy system as Survival Games - Q, stick with me, Michael, stick with Dream. I’ll tower to the next island- Dream, you good with getting the iron at spawn and crafting armor for us?” 
Dream startles, before flashing a small thumbs up at the other - Sapnap smiles wider, teeth bared dangerously.
“This is our game,” he cheers, and Michael enthusiastically whoops in reply, “we’re winning this, you got that team? Let’s go!” 
This, Michael thinks, is the way the games should’ve gone - they jump into action upon the start of the game, Michael watching as Dream races through both chests on the spawn island, getting the iron and jumping down cleanly with a water bucket before following Sapnap’s bridge to the other island. He tosses over a pair of leggings and boots as he lands, then takes Sapnap’s excess iron to craft the other pieces of iron for himself and Sapnap as the other man begins shooting at opposing teams. Their communication is near wordless, simple one- or two-word requests communicating all they need as they follow each other seamlessly into the main arena area, sealing off their entrance as they search the ring for other teams.
Sapnap, especially, seems to have shifted - instead of waiting for Dream to take the lead, he seems comfortable barrelling on forward on his own, trusting for Dream to follow his steps. Michael watches as the two of them easily work through the two lagging members of Orange, shooting through a gap in the wall to catch an unsuspecting Yellow player chased by the border. Michael ends up dying to an unlucky block of TNT placed on his head - curses out what appears to be Quig, bounding over to the other side of the arena, and follows Dream and Sapnap as they continue to fight their way through the competition. 
It’s not perfect, for sure - Dream hesitates at a bad place a minute later, ending with Sapnap getting 2v1ed and exploding in a flash of red sparkles. Dream is similarly dispatched a few seconds after, and the three of them watch Quackity, caught in the crossfire of two other teams, before he also goes down. 
“Good work, team,” Sapnap says as he appears, disoriented, in spectator mode, and they watch the remaining two teams battling in a rapidly shrinking border before Fruit falls as well, leaving Pink as the winners. “That was close- we’ve got this.” The conviction in his voice leaves no room for argument, and Michael, briefly, feels bad for anyone that stands in the way of it. 
With the second round, they once again fall into rhythm without any major hiccups - someone tries to cut them off before entering the main arena, but are made quick work of by Sapnap’s relentless onslaught. As Michael watches, Dream seems to regain confidence as well, moving more to fight with Sapnap side by side instead of just playing support, tugging him back from a risky play and catching Punz in a nasty combo that does him in when he manages to slip past Sapnap. 
The four of them end up in the final stand off in the middle, but end up getting caught too high up and killed by the border before they can jump down. Sapnap hisses at the narrow defeat, but the disappointment has hardly seemed to dim his determination - if anything, it seems to burn brighter. 
“Last round,” he mutters, and Michael watches as Dream walks up to him, bumping him lightly with his shoulder. 
“This is our game,” he says, a small smile appearing on his face, and Sapnap returns it with a fiery, blinding one of his own. 
“Ours,” he says, and even just standing on the side, watching - Michael believes it. 
Still, his concerns have yet to disappear - they linger in his mind as they jump into an adrenaline-filled last round, jumpy from excitement and victory just within their grasps. Dream is still more jittery than he should be, taking a second more than usual to react to fights, and his teamwork with Sapnap - while good - is still noticeably rusty. Michael’s lips thin at the memory of Dream backing away from Sapnap’s sword in Battle Box, hunched into himself, almost on the floor, with a clearly desperate edge to his expression - and no matter how he tries, he can’t quite manage to shake it off. 
Unfortunately enough, the third round doesn’t bode well for them from the start - Quackity gets bowed off while bridging to the main arena, and upon entrance there they end up flanked, hard, by another team in a conflict that gets Michael killed within seconds. Sapnap and Dream book it to the other side of the arena, where they manage to work through a full team without too much trouble - but the next minute brings another half-team flying at them from the back, catching them in the middle of trying to recuperate. The two focus Dream in the middle of eating a steak, and Michael watches as Dream steps back instead of moving forward to fight, that same shade of fear making his muscles seize as he stands, stock still, watching helplessly as swords fly his way- Michael cries out, but there’s nothing he can do-
Between one blink and the next, Sapnap is standing in front of Dream, a snarl painting his features as he whirls through both players in a fury. Michael watches, awed, as his sword weaves and dances between the two attacking Dream, making quick work of them both until they’re no more than items scattered over the ground, then grabs Dream by the wrist and drags him up a nearby ladder onto the upper floor, plopping him by the wall and then backing off. 
Sapnap stands back as Dream sits against the wall, breathing fast and labored, dropping to his knees with his hands in front of him, palms up, no weapons in hand. Michael watches, frantic, for the signs of any teams nearby - with Dream panicking and Sapnap’s back to the rest of the arena, they’d be easy pickings - but for once, luck seems to be on their side, because no one comes. Dream heaves a breath through his lungs, deep and shuddery - Sapnap watches, lips flat from concern, but doesn’t speak. 
“You good to continue?” he asks, when Dream seems calm enough to recognize his surroundings, and Dream looks up at the words, jaw slack from shock and disorientation, before his head dips in a firm nod. 
“Good,” Sapnap smiles, tight-lipped and fiercely determined, fiercely loyal, as he reaches out a hand that Dream moves to take. “Let’s go fuck them up, yeah? You and me, just like we used to.”
Michael watches, heart in his chest, as they stand together to face the rest of the competition, towering towards the middle and facing off with the remaining teams,  watches as they move forwards through explosions and buckets of lava, coalescing onto the middle island, as they battle through the remaining opponents as one in a clean spiral of clashing blades and flying arrows, fighting with their backs to each other in the center of the arena. He watches as a well-placed fishing rod by Dream knocks their final opponent off the platform, leaving them in the middle, triumphant, as the only remaining team - 
Watches, a brilliant, bubbling laugh in his chest as Dream and Sapnap take their spots in the middle of the arena, standing side by side as Sapnap raises Dream’s hand in victory, both laughing and cheering  into the sky.
---
Their performance in Sky Battle manages to pull them to third - but second place still stands a few hundred coins away, and they watch anxiously as Parkour Tag is chosen as the last game and they are transported over the arena. 
“Last game,” Sapnap calls, “We’ve got this, alright?” 
He gets terse, short nods in return - it’ll be a close game, and even Michael is feeling the pressure. He breathes a soft, quiet breath through his teeth as they prepare, looking over to the opposite team as they choose their hunters and runners. 
“Dream, you up to hunting first four?” Sapnap seems to be watching the effects of his words more, waiting for Dream’s agreement before moving forward, sliding into the position of leader easily when Dream seems to struggle. Dream nods and steps into the hunter’s box, lips pressed together, flat and focused, and Michael turns back to the arena to plan out his route. 
Parkour, by far, is not his strong suit. It hadn’t been his strong suit during Parkour Warrior and sure as hell isn’t it now - he enjoys it well enough, but with the pressure of a hunter on him or the time creeping past and the competition standings hanging over his head like a guillotine, he’s prone to slipping up and he knows it. The map is full of dizzying, multi-colored structures and difficult jumps, the twists and turns of the arena making his head spin. Being good at parkour is more than being good at movement - it involves being able to make split-second decisions and execute them with no time to hesitate. Unfortunately, Michael isn’t particularly good at any of that, so Parkour Tag mostly just stresses him the hell out. 
He sets out to the arena, listening for callouts over comms as he fumbles over the buildings. Halfway through the game, Dream’s voice comes through comms, quiet, focused. 
“Gottem.” 
“Nice, Dream,” Michael smiles, trying not to trip over a particularly hard jump, only to fall to being tagged in the back by the opposing team’s hunter - Ant, if he remembers right. “Sapnap and Q are still in- we’ve got this.”
Once again, each time, Dream races through the opposing team in seconds, seemingly going faster with each round. Michael has heard his reputation as a hunter before, but only now is he really appreciating the extent - the speed at which he manages to dispatch all three opponents is downright terrifying. They manage to win all four rounds, lingering around second place overall on the leaderboards, before Sapnap and Dream switch off for hunting. 
With each round, Michael watches Dream in the lobby, watching as he tenses further in focus and determination and no small degree of fear, but it hadn’t been nearly as obvious in between rounds. Now, with him in the arena with Quackity and himself, Dream’s jumpiness is all that more palpable, adrenaline making him pace and jump in place from where he stands at the edge of the place. The glass lowers, and he explodes into motion, bounding on top of the nearest tower to wait for the hunter to come towards them. 
Michael ends up caught first, early in the round, once again, and resolves to following Dream over the glass to watch his movements and make callouts for the hunter chasing behind him. Watching Dream move through the arena, dodging below fixtures and through tunnels and jumping from tower to tower with seemingly no regard for gravity pulling him down, it’s become all the more obvious that this is his element. He makes another hairpin turn around a pole, kicking himself up over a tower and then diving from it to a nearby building, landing on a ledge inside it, hands clutching the wall - Michael watches, quietly awed, as he outlasts the hunter, landing in small, panting breaths in the lobby. 
“Great work,” he cheers, quiet, as Dream shakes off the last dregs of the adrenaline, all of them watching the leaderboard anxiously, “Just three more rounds, alright?” 
The rounds that follow continue in much of the same vein - Dream, once he’s gotten started, seems near-impossible to chase down; Michael and Quackity provide support, distracting the hunter for as long as they can until they get tagged, but part of him wonders if it’s all even necessary. Dream flies from structure to structure seemingly unhindered by The Laws That Be, expression firm, if a little frantic, as he parkours his way through the arena. To their credit, the hunters chase, and several come pretty close - but Dream, worked up on adrenaline or anxiety or some twisted mix of the two, races over and around the buildings within the arena like his life depends on it.
It’s a surprisingly (if sickeningly) apt description - the skill in parkour is far from unacknowledged on Dream’s record; they all know his reputation with Parkour Warrior, all know that there are little that can match his skill as a traucer - but there’s something newly desperate in the way he runs, the muscles of his body tight and taut even in between rounds, expression permanently tight at the corners from fear. His movements, lacking in their usual fluidity, are made up with sheer speed and mad scrambles up walls that no one else seems to dare replicate. It’s concerning, even to Michael’s untrained eye, how frantic he seems the entire time, the flashes of expressions that he’ll direct towards the hunter like being caught by them will be his end, but- if anything, at least it’s effective. 
Between his parkour and Sapnap’s own skill, they manage to dominate the other teams without much issue, and the bonuses from eliminating the other team first combined with Dream’s survival points each round land them a first place for the game by just a few hundred coins. The four of them watch with bated breaths for the event standings, whooping and cheering together when it shows the red rabbits in second - 
“DODGEBOLT, BABY!” Quackity cheers, loudly, and the rest of them join him, laughing and screaming incoherently, “LET’S FUCKING GO!” 
“LET’S FUCKING GO!” Sapnap punches the air with a loud, resolute whoop of joy, and Dream - still shaking off the jitters of his last round in Parkour Tag - soon joins in with a few cheers of his own. 
Michael watches them all with a smile on his face as they cheer in victory - Dodgebolt has them against the Yellow Yaks, which will be a hard match up, but between Dream and Sapnap’s skill, if they all stay focused, they shouldn’t have any issue. 
They’ve done it. They’ve made it to Dodgebolt - if they keep their heads in the game, then they should win. All he has to do is keep his head down a little longer, long enough to win them the game, long enough for them to go home with new crowns and new coins, long enough for him to go back to living his quaint little life in his quaint little house - going back to heckling the Warden at night and hanging with Bad and Puffy, working on builds and living life away from the rest and pretending that nothing is wrong. The server will go back to normal come tomorrow, and it will all be okay. 
The smile slips off his face. 
They’ve done it. And then they’ll go back to the SMP, and Dream might evade whatever immediate consequences come with losing, but there’s no evidence that whatever’s caused that heartstopping, devastating fear that has characterized his every move is going to stop. They’ll win, and they’ll go back to the SMP, and they’ll keep dying and fighting wars and keep pretending that the world they live in is normal; they’ll go back to the server, and Michael will go back in his house while Dream goes back into his cell directly across from it, still locked in a black box with no way in or out, no means of communication with anyone outside, locked away with the key thrown away for anything to happen with no one to know-
Michael glances over to Dream, to the tense edge of his shoulders that has never left for as long as the tournament has continued and long before. To the grey-faced, grey-eyed inhabitants of the SMP, coming to the Championships with sealed lips and a shared determination to never reveal that anything is wrong, to pretend that things are normal and move on. 
Michael’s hands clench into fists at his side, then unclench, the helplessness cutting through his excitement like a splash of cold water straight through his chest. They’ll win the Championship, and then what? They’ll go back to the server, and then what? 
He looks up at the sky, avoiding the eyes of the rest of his team as they are teleported to the arena. Around him, nothing comes in reply. 
---
“Shit-”
Sapnap disappears in a flourish of red particles, and Michael winces as Dream picks up the arrow he left behind, biting his lip as he watches the opposite side maneuver on the ice.
Both of Dream’s shots hit true, and Michael switches to dodging over the ice as the opposing team begins to shoot. His mind is still buzzing with uncertainty, questions whirling around his skull and making his head spin, the reminder to just let things be raging against the anxiety that has wormed its way deep into his bones for the better part of the day. His performance has fallen a bit as a result, and they’re tied, 2-2, for the last round of Dodgebolt against Yellow - winner takes all. 
He doesn’t know what to do. He wants to tell, but he wants to fall back into the background. He wants to make a difference, but also wants nothing more than to go on pretending that everything is fine. It would be so, so easy to move on and wash his hands of the whole affair - it’s not like anyone else will know, only himself and the guilt that he’s sure will haunt him to remind him of his failures. Is there even anything he can do? He’s no genius at combat, or parkour, or strategy- all he has are his eyes, his ability to see what the hell is happening with no means to change any of it. 
An arrow whizzes towards him, too low to hit, and falls to the ice by his feet. Michael feels it plop into his inventory as he runs past it, shivering slightly from the cold or adrenaline or some mix of the two - not that he can really tell. The other team still has an arrow, the gleaming arrowhead catching the light as the person shooting - Jack, it looks like - moves it from one side to the other, looking for someone to aim. Michael lets the arrow into his hand, feeling its weight.
A sudden shock of clarity. 
He staggers back and nearly trips over his own feet, feeling relief rock his body when he manages to catch his balance - his eyes rake over the rest of his team, still dodging over the ice, completely focused on the opposing side. He worries his lip between his teeth - it’s a risk. It’s a hell of a risk, and if he messes up - they’re fucked. They’re more than fucked. There’s a good chance that this does more harm than good, a good chance that it won’t do anything at all. 
Michael takes a deep breath, and nocks his arrow. 
With his bow pointed to the floor, he doesn’t think anyone’s noticed yet - especially the rest of his team, gazes still trained over the centerline to the other side of the arena. Michael plants his feet, raises his bow, aims - he’s standing still, too still, and he can already see Jack swinging the bow towards him from the corner of his eye, preparing to let the arrow fly directly at him. That’s fine. It doesn’t matter.
Keep your head down. 
Michael lets go, and Quackity manages to turn just in time to see the arrow hit him between his eyes.
Not this time.
Michael just manages a wicked, satisfied smirk before the world disappears in a flash of red. 
---
“What the hell was that?” 
Michael teleports into the middle of the MCC main lobby, finding Quackity already mid-yell in front of the podium, where the Yellow Yaks have taken their places as the winners of the Championships, new, shining crowns on their heads as they greet the crowd with smiles and cheers. Michael turns to where the rest of the team has gathered in the corner, Quackity hissing angrily at Dream, curled into himself against the fence. 
“I- I-”
“You lost us the fucking game, that’s what you did,” Quackity grabs him by the arm, rage painting his features as he yanks Dream closer to him, ignoring the other’s panicked yell at the proximity and flailing to get away. “What the fuck- you had both the arrows. How the fuck did you miss that?” 
“Back the hell off, Quackity.”
Michael steps forward, bodily shoving Quackity out of the way - Dream’s head rises just enough for the two eyes painted on his mask to look  above where they’d been hidden behind his arms, though Michael’s far too lost in his own anger to pay any mind to him at the moment. Quackity turns his furious direction towards Michael, only seeming to get angrier as he meets his eyes. 
“Oh, fuck off, Michael- you-” he rakes a hand through his hair, “You fucking- we fucking lost because of you, you know that? We had that! We were going to win that, you fucker-” 
“And then what, Quackity?” The words Michael had been pushing back the entire day come forth, mixed with his simmering anxiety and muffled anger that he’d been forced to push down, game after game after game, one bubbling mess of emotion underscoring his tone and making Quackity rear back, “Then you’ll go back the SMP and pretend that everything’s fine and dandy? Go back to your shiny little country with a shiny new coin, beat up Dream a few times to work off the adrenaline because, hey, it’s not like anyone else is gonna know if he’s black and blue inside of that shitstain of a prison, is that right?” 
The flash of panic that makes its way over Quackity’s face is more than enough to confirm the worst of Michael’s assumptions, and the rage that has made a home in his chest only burns hotter. 
“What- what the fuck did he say?” Quackity barely manages to catch onto his tone, pressing harder with narrowed eyes and a snarl, “He’s lying, you fucking idiot, that’s all he ever fucking does-” 
“He’s not told me shit,” Michael presses forward, forcefully pushing Quackity away from Dream, who is cowering from both of them behind him, “But you would know a hell of a lot about that, wouldn’t you Quackity?”
“I have no fuckin’ clue what you’re on about, pal,” Quackity shakes his head, hair whipping past his eyes, “And I’d recommend you shut your fucking mouth before you go around hurling baseless accusations- I could have you sued for defamation, you know-”
“Oh, we’re talking law, now? Fine! We’ll talk legalities- how about we start with that casino of yours and work from there?” 
Sapnap moves over, quiet thus far as he watched from the sidelines, and Michael watches as Quackity relaxes, minisculely, at his approach - only to tense further when Sapnap presses a hand to his shoulder, meeting his eyes with blazing eyes staring right at his.
“Q,” Sapnap says, voice uncharacteristically serious, “tell the truth, now- what did you do?”
Quackity laughs - it sounds unsure, even in Michael’s ears, “Sapnap? You can’t tell me you believe-” he waves his hands frantically, “this- this fucking asshole, now, do you hear him? He sounds- he’s literally out of his fucking mind-”
Sapnap shakes his head, firm. “Quackity, I’ll need you to cut the bullshit. What did you do?” 
“He’s backing up Dream, Sapnap,” Quackity focuses his gaze on Sapnap, something creeping up in his tone, sweet and cloying despite the bitter tone, that Michael can’t quite recognize, “You know what Dream is like- he pulled the same shit with you, remember? You and George? Tommy?” He waves a hand at Dream, who ducks down further at the attention, “He hasn’t changed, man! He’s still pulling the same bullshit, still manipulating people for the hell of it- you know, the exact same thing he did to you? Don’t fall for that again, man.”
“I-” Sapnap seems to hesitate, conflict warring over his features. 
“Look at me, Sap - you know what Dream’s like. He pretends to be your friend, makes up some stupid bullshit to justify his shit - Michael hasn’t been around for as long, not like the two of us, remember? He doesn’t know.” Quackity brings his hand to Sapnap’s own, ignoring Michael’s protests as he laces their fingers together, “I care about you, Sap. All of this- I’m just worried that he’ll end up manipulating you again. I’m just trying to protect you.” 
“...liar.” 
“What?”
Sapnap steps back, wrenching his hand out of Quackity’s own. His expression, out of what Michael can see from the sliver of his face that is facing him, is stormy with fury and no small amount of regret - Quackity steps back, unease finally beginning to flicker in the corners of his self-satisfied expression as Sapnap stares him down. 
“You’re a liar, Quackity.” Sapnap draws himself up. “Now, I’m asking this for the last time- what did you do?”
Quackity’s expression stutters, falls, as Sapnap stands back next to Michael, the two of them between him and Dream. His eyes flick between their faces, then to Dream, then back again, frown deepening with every pass he makes between the three of them. Michael keeps his arms crossed in front of his chest, feeling his muscles tense with every second of silence that ticks by, Quackity seeming to grow more and more angry and tense under their scrutiny and unforgiving stances-
-a second passes, and he throws himself forward. 
“Quackity!” 
Michael only manages to throw himself out of the way of the man barrelling towards him just in time - too late, he realizes that he wasn’t Quackity’s intended target. He tackles Dream to the ground, pinning the taller man underneath himself onto the ground in a rough thump that seems to knock all the air out of him. Dream immediately begins to thrash aimlessly, jaw going slack in panic as Quackity levels his arm against his neck, going still as Quackity presses harder against his windpipe. Michael is only barely close enough to pick up what he says over the sound of the surrounding screaming, Sapnap rushing forward to pull Quackity off to no avail-
“-make what I did two weeks ago look like a fucking joke when we get back, going to make you wish you fucking died-” 
The world explodes into white.
When Michael’s vision clears, he’s face to face to the stony face of one of the MCC admins, their status displayed by the proud red [Admin] by their nametags and the fact that they’re floating several inches off the fucking floor. He backs away, strangely winded - probably from the panic or adrenaline or yelling or, more accurately, all three, as Quackity is pulled back effortlessly by an admin, easily caging his flailing limbs with a snap of code as he is frozen into place - and Michael whoops. 
“LET’S GO!” 
(The arrow hits Michael in the shoulder, and he disappears in a flash of red - only instead of going to his usual place above the Dodgebolt arena, standing with the other competitors, he finds himself teleported in front of a dizzying array of screens and buttons, too many to have any idea where they connect and how they work. Michael turns to meet the faces of the MCC Admins, each one looking at him with odd, concerned expressions and furrowed brows. 
“You shot your teammate,” one says - Noxite - and Michael nods to concede the point, not quite finding the words to speak. “Why?”
“If you had such a big issue with the teams, you could’ve just talked to Scott,” another one pipes up from the back, “I’m sure we could’ve worked something out.”
“I know, I know,” Michael runs his hand through his hair, both relieved at the plan working better than he could’ve ever fucking imagined and suddenly lost for words in front of the admins, each one looking at him with their full attention. Every nerve in his body rails against the scrutiny, reminds him to pretend that nothing is wrong - but it’s too late to pretend, now. It’s been too late for a long, long time. 
He remembers Dream, looking away all competition, voice dead and lacking all of its former vitality - remembers Puffy, hair a little greyer from stress, grief painting her face whenever she thought anyone wasn’t looking - remembers Bad, hands still shaking despite his attempts to hide it - the prison, looming on the horizon, unbeatable, impenetrable - himself, helpless, for all this time, to do anything but watch and wait. Until now. He takes a deep breath, steels himself- 
“Something’s wrong with Dream.”)
“Thank you for your information, Michael,” Noxite smiles at him, and relief throws itself through his system so fast that it makes him dizzy- “We’ll handle this from here. Good job.” 
“Holy shit- when did you get time to contact the fucking admins, Michael?” 
Michael ignores the clamor around him as the lobby bursts into activity and people talking over each other, each one probably trying to figure out what the hell just happened, ignores Sapnap muttering, awed, from beside him, to move towards Dream, still sprawled out over the floor. There’s an admin by him, standing by to seemingly keep the crowd away but not engaging with Dream directly, and Michael ducks by them to kneel down by Dream and meet his gaze. 
“Hey,” Michael smiles, still shaking from the leftover adrenaline as he presses his hands to the ground to try and hide it, “We’ve got you. It’s over- Quackity’s gone. You’re safe now.” 
“Michael?” Dream’s voice is so damn small when his head twists to look over, hair having fallen largely fallen out of his ponytail to land in wisps all around his face. “You- how-”
“Don’t worry about it,” Michael shushes him, chest twisting painfully. “It’s alright.”
“...I don’t feel so good.”
Dream coughs harshly, and Michael quickly maneuvers him to a sitting position as his shoulders shake with another one, hand flying to his mouth as he is wracked with loud, wet-sounding coughs. Concern wells up in his throat, watching as Dream shakes with more coughing, nearly choking as he curls into himself, muscles tense. After what feels like an eternity, he pulls his hand back, and Michael gasps at the sight.
“Dream-”
There’s blood, and a lot of it - mixed with the saliva in his palm, shiny and stringy over the planes of his hand, dribbling past his lips and down his chin. His teeth are similarly stained red when his mouth opens slightly, stance wobbling before he collapses altogether against Michael’s body - Michael can barely hear himself shouting for a medic as Dream heaves a rattling, wet sounding breath into his shoulder. 
“Th’ts not g’d,” he mumbles, quiet, before going completely limp. 
---
When you first get strong enough to go to the Nether and collect blaze rods and brew potions for the first time, the first thing that gets beaten into your head forwards, backwards, left, right, and every way in between is that health and regen aren’t a replacement for actual recovery. Instant health pots are famous for their tendency to heal everything affected to the same degree - which is bad when you have a particularly deep injury, as it’ll often finish healing it near the surface while the injury persists underneath. Regen pots tend to be better at that front, but even they cannot completely fix a serious injury - the two can only act as a temporary, emergency fix for severe wounds, often being an invaluable resource to stop the worst of the bleeding and hold everything together for long enough to bring someone to proper medical attention. 
Unfortunately, when someone tries to use health pots and regens to completely bypass the time and rest needed for the body to properly heal itself and recover, what usually ends up happening is internal injuries - not completely healed by the potions alone - continue to be jostled and irritated, which can lead to further, worse, problems with internal bleeding and bones shifting out of place if they’ve been broken, which can then pierce through muscle and organ tissue - to be honest, Michael was never the best with all the medical stuff, and he’s half-sure that the horror stories he’s heard were exaggerated to beat it into his head never to be an idiot that thinks that potions can solve everything, but either way, he’s never tested his luck with the things.
Unfortunately, Dream doesn’t seem to have done the same, as the entire day’s worth of intense activity, between practices and MCC itself, were more than enough to fuck over the healing effects of whatever health potions he apparently downed before coming to the Championships. From what Michael has heard, it got a little harried after he was first brought into the hospital, but he’s apparently stabilized since - recovery will be slow, both physically and mentally, but at least he’s out of that damn prison to actually start on that path.
“Simply put, your teammate is a bit of an idiot,” Scott tells him when he finally catches him in the waiting room, hair fluffed up at the sides from where he’s evidently messed it up in Admin-related stress. “But he should be alright now, with proper medical attention and lots of rest - make sure to tell him to actually rest, will ya? No more parkouring for him - he can wait until after he’s out of the hospital to show us all how it’s done.” 
Michael laughs, relief settling into his chest, “Thanks, Scott.” He directs a playfully accusing look towards the other, a grin tugging at his lips, “but you know, he’s only my teammate because you made it that way. Kinda sounds like your own fault there..” 
“Oh, quiet, you.” Scott laughs- he looks stressed, and Michael feels a twinge of sympathy. The administrative side of things after his whole stunt at Dodgebolt, and then especially with what happened in the main lobby, must be an absolute nightmare. “Anyway, I need to go back - Admin meeting,” he shakes his head, already looking at his comm. “You should go see Dream, by the way. I think he’s awake.” 
“Thanks for everything, Scott.” 
Scott smiles at him, soft, sincere. “Go see your friend.” 
He disappears in a flash of white light, teleporting away, and Michael looks at the empty space where he stood for a few seconds before standing up out of his chair to move towards the door. He hesitates at it for a second, hand on the doorknob but not yet turning it to the side - it’s suddenly awkward, without the pressure of the competition at his back and the relentless questions of what he should do. He doesn’t even know if Dream knows what happened, or if he’ll be happy with him - for all he knows, Dream was the one who started the whole ‘don’t tell the Championships what happens in the server’ deal. His teeth catch on his lip as he stands, lost in thought, at the door.
Well. Here goes nothing. 
He eases the door open, getting a glimpse inside the room - it’s white, clean-looking, the smell of disinfectant heavy in the air. There’s a bed in the middle of the room, a chair on the side with his Championships clothing and what appears to be some sort of padded body armor laid over the cushions. Dream, as expected, is lying down in the bed, unmoving; for a second, Michael thinks he’s sleeping, before he suddenly twists his head over to look at him.
“Michael?” 
“Hey,” Michael smiles, moving into the room and closing the door behind him. For the first time today, Dream’s face isn’t masked, a glimpse of it visible behind him on the dresser by the bed. He blinks up at him owlishly, eyes wide and green, looking even bigger combined with the hollow planes of his cheeks, overlaid by pale, slightly raised scars. “How are you feeling, man?” 
“Um-” Dream tries to pull himself up, visibly struggling, and Michael rolls his eyes as he hurries over to help raise the back of the cot because you’re supposed to be resting, Dream, just let the fancy bed do its job, and settles back with an odd look on his face as Michael pulls over a chair. “Good? I think? I mean-” he flails his hands a bit, “this is weird. And I kind of hate this gown- but um. Yeah.” 
“That’s fair,” Michael laughs, and Dream huffs a small laugh out of his own, settling back into his pillow. He looks strangely small, with all the layers stripped away, frail and skinny against the sheets. His skin isn’t that same paper-white shade it had been when he collapsed in the middle of the fucking lobby, but it’s still pale enough to be vaguely worrying, especially combined with the IV and other wires hooked up to him. 
“Apparently, I’m dehydrated,” Dream drawls when he catches Michael staring at the IV, making a small, frustrated sound through his teeth as Michael turns to look at him, “figures, I guess, but still sucks. I hate needles.” 
“Ouch,” Michael winces in sympathy, “yeah, those don’t look that fun.” Dream smiles up at him, before his expression shutters, dulls, and he looks away, not meeting his eyes. The sight of it makes Michael frown, quiet, remembering the way he’d drawn back from them all over and over again throughout the day - that fear and trauma won’t go away in a day, but it hurts all that much more to see his face as panic flashes across it and he pulls back, gaze carefully detached. 
“Dream?” Michael moves closer, but is careful not to make contact, “you alright?”
“Hmm?” Dream directs another small, tight smile his way, strained at the corners as his eyes flick away to the floor once again, “yeah- I’m- I’m fine.” 
Michael sighs, but decides not to push it. “Have you done anything else here, yet?”
Dream shakes his head. “No- I think that someone’s going to bring food over soon, I’m not sure. Not really hungry,” he mutters, half to himself, and Michael tamps down the concern that wells up in protest, “But we’ll see, I guess.” 
“That’s good,” Michael nods, and Dream looks up at him, expression startlingly unsure. 
“Um- do you know?” He wrings his hands together, eyes darting across the room nervously before flicking over Michaels’ face, and Michael tries to make himself look as calm and comfortable as possible, “I mean- do you know what’s going on with- everyone?” 
Ah. Michael winces internally- he probably should’ve expected this question, but in the fallout of what happened in the lobby and Dream, you know, passing out in his arms, he ended up brushing off or ignoring a lot of the chaos that resulted. He wracks his head for snippets of information that he’d seen in his communicator and from visitors to the waiting room, including people that had been there with him that had been pulled for questioning and meetings, Tommy’s expletive-filled yelling from the lobby still ringing in his head. 
“Um- I think that they’ve got a team of moderators pulled up to investigate the server, figure out what’s been going on,” Michael ticks names off on his hands, mentally going through the list of people that he’s been given information on, “They have Quackity in custody, I think, for the moment- they’re still waiting for more information on what to do with him, but they’ve got a whole MCC lobby’s worth of witnesses that saw him assault you so far, if you plan on pressing charges and stuff- um- Sapnap got pulled for questioning, nothing too major right now, I think that they’re going through the other server members that were attending the Championships for the moment.” 
“Are they- putting them in jail?” Dream’s voice sounds slightly tinny despite his forced calm, arms crossed in front of him, and Michael shakes his head firmly. 
“No- legal stuff between servers is weird, and I think they’re holding off on anything like that for now. Quackity’s just there at the moment because of assault charges on the MCC server - stuff in the SMP is still technically outside of their jurisdiction.” Dream visibly relaxes, and Michael smiles thinly, “It’ll be rough for a few weeks as they collect evidence and figure out what to do, but for now, they’re just focusing on recovery - giving people medical attention if they need it, lining up therapists,” he laughs, quietly, “lots of therapists.”
Dream hums, looking away. The corners of his mouth fall, eyes fluttering shut as he breathes a shuddery sigh through his lips.
“I- never wanted it to get this bad,” he opens his eyes, looking down at his hands, lip slightly trembling, “I don’t- I don’t know where it all went wrong.” 
“Hey,” Michael slides closer, ducking to meet Dream’s eyes with a soft smile. “You’re not alone anymore, alright? You don’t have to fix it all by yourself. Focus on yourself, on recovering.” 
Dream hesitates, breath seeming caught in his throat, wide green eyes staring into Michael’s own, before ducking his head to look away with a slight nod. Michael leans back in his chair, watching as Dream turns to the side, curling in on himself slightly with a small wince, eyes fixed on the window.
“Didn’t think I was going to see the sun again,” Dream says after a while, gaze still trained behind the glass to where the sun is slowly setting, rays of sunlight streaming past the slits in the blinds and casting glowing stripes of honey-gold throughout the room and over Dream’s face. Michael feels something cold press against the back of his throat, the quiet admission making air stutter in his lungs at the image of Dream, alone, huddled in the middle of an obsidian box for months and months and months, never knowing if he’d see anything other than the same black walls for the rest of his life. 
“You’re not there, anymore. You’re safe now.” 
Dream doesn’t reply, continuing to look out the window silently, breathing slowly as he moves his hand through a sunbeam, watching the way it streams between his fingers and warms his skin, seeming mesmerized by its soft glow. 
“Michael?” Dream looks over, and Michael feels the air punched out of his lungs at the soft, disbelieving sincerity held within his expression, the fearful edges for once pulled back far enough for the light to catch the quiet, heartfelt appreciation gathered in the slight quirk of his lips and downward slope of his eyes. He looks away a second after, a band of light cutting across his face and landing over the bridge of his nose, smile still on his face, voice almost too quiet to make out. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” Michael feels his own smile widen, looking out the window himself- it really is a beautiful sunset. “What are friends for?” 
332 notes · View notes
andreafmn · 3 years
Text
Collision - Chapter 1
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Word Count: 3,434
Characters: Female Reader Uley Character, Sam Uley, Allison Uley, Charlie Swan, Bella Swan, Seth Clearwater, Billy Black, Jacob Black, Emily Young, Paul Lahote, Harry and Sue Clearwater, Leah Clearwater
Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life at it’s first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same. 
*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Twilight, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. The only thing I own is Uley Reader insert, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ story line.
Chapter: 1/?
A/N: There’s no Cullen’s in the first chapter, we’ll see them soon though. Also, Esme is in the story but her and Carlisle are not together romantically. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.
Next->
Chapter 1
Going back home felt bizarre for (Y/N). It had been 4 years since she had moved away from the La Push Reservation on a scholarship to a prep boarding school in Seattle. Although students were expected to go back home during summer break, she spent her time in summer taking college classes or attending internships in the area, so going back didn’t fit into her plans.
But she had just graduated from high school and decided that taking a gap year could not hurt. Seeing her family wouldn’t be that bad either.
(Y/N) Uley had not reunited physically with Sam and Allison Uley since she left for school, only calling occasionally but always being to busy for anything else. The mother and son duo had grown accustomed to the short phone calls and vague emails they would receive from their studious family member. The Uley siblings used to be a very close pair, being only a year apart helped their bond. But since (Y/N) had invested all her energy into her high school career, their relationship rapidly dissipated; replaced by untold secrets and life-changing details.
The Uley girl had no idea what was in store when she went back home. She had left when she was 14 and was coming back an 18-year-old with a high school diploma and a bachelor’s degree. (Y/N) had always been an over achiever and applying to the school she had and taking dual enrollment was no surprise to her mother and brother.
The bus ride from Seattle to La Push lasted almost eight hours, so (Y/N) equipped herself with two books, plenty of snacks, and a fully charged iPod to handle the ride. She had gotten the earliest ride available always enjoying the intriguing mystery that 3 am travels brought. Her brown eyes surveyed the curious characters that voyaged alongside her a young woman sat with a sleeping baby in her arms, the dark circles under her eyes signaled the baby was still a newborn getting adapted to a sleep schedule; there was a middle-aged man, his eyes attached to a computer and a briefcase tight to his side; there were two teenagers, backpacks at their feet and shared headphones in between them. They were wearing light blue polo shirt and her school insignia embroidered on the left side of their shirt. She had seen them in passing, two freshmen still energetic and excited for their school life. She looked at them and smiled, remembering being in their shoes four years ago.
Four hours in, (Y/N) had finished one book, and the bus made its first stop in Port Angeles, the place where everyone that traveled with her got off. It wasn’t surprising to see from the top of her book as everyone got off, she didn’t recognize any of them from the reservation so it would have been surprising if any of them had stayed in the bus. For the next four hours, (Y/N) continued to read her second book surrounded by a comforting silence. The sun had risen about an hour ago and a nice warmth was streaming from the bus window and (Y/N) felt herself drift in bliss.
Her eyes fluttered open once again when she felt the bus finally rolling to a stop. She blinked a few times as she adjusted her vision to the bright midday sun and her brain restarted normal functions. The brunette gathered the bag with her travel companions and got up from the chair she had been glued to for eight hours.
“Have a good day,” the driver chimed as (Y/N) was walking down the bus.
“You too, drive safe!” The girl smiled and got her two suitcases out of the side of the bus.
(Y/N) got startled as she felt two arms wrap around her midriff and quickly swung her elbow back.
“Woah, woah, careful with those arms, (Y/N). It’s just me,” the girl turned around, a gleaming grin adorning her face.
“Sam!” She jumped onto the open arms of her older brother, seeing the years that had passed on his tired face.
“Look at you, darling. All grown up,” Allison Uley smiled, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
“Mom, I’ve missed you.” (Y/N) hugged her mother tightly, noticing the difference in heights of her and her mother. Another thing she noticed was the strain between her mother and her brother. Before she left, they all had a very close relationship but now it felt like so many things had interlaced into their bond. “Let’s go home yeah?”
“I’m, actually I gotta go to my house,” Sam scratched the back of his neck.
“What house?” (Y/N) chuckled.
“I moved out, but I’ll come over for your welcome dinner.”
“Sam, she just came back. Don’t you wanna spend time with your sister?” Allison begged, wanting to have both of her children under the same roof again.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I just can’t, mom. Leave it.” Sam sighed. “I’ll see you at dinner, (Y/N).”
He kissed the top of his sister’s head and left. He wanted to tell them the whole truth, but he knew he couldn’t. Knowing that information would put them in a level of danger that he didn’t want them to be aware of.
(Y/N) stared at the retreating figure of his brother as he ran down the street, leaving her and their mother.
“What’s up with him?”
“Oh darling, if only I knew.” Allison sighed grabbing one of the suitcases her daughter had brought. “Let’s just head to the house so you can rest.”
“Yeah, let’s.” (Y/N) gave Allison a comforting smile and wheeled the second suitcase towards the truck.
The drive home was as short as she remembered, and the house hadn’t changed a bit. She walked up the steps to the porch and opened the old wooden door; it still made the same creaking sound. The house still smelled of seawater and pine, an odd mix but a comforting scent. (Y/N) regretted all the summers she missed here and all the days she spent away from her family.
She made her way up the stairs and entered the first door to the right. She ran her fingers through the stickers she had pasted on there when she was 13: a wolf, a rainbow, a heart, and a picture of her family. Her name still carved at the highest point of the door and she smiled at the memory of that. She sat atop Sam’s shoulder when she was just 12 years old, a trembling hand holding a pick as she carved as best as she could the name “(Y/N)”.
The doorknob as it was turned let out a squeaky groan and the door needed an extra push to open. The room had not changed at all. The walls were still painted a light green, the light switch still had the pink princess cover, the bedding had the little purple butterflies embroidered on them, and the pillows were all pink and purple. In a corner rested the five boxes (Y/N) had sent to the house from her dorm room.
“It hasn’t changed a bit,” (Y/N) commented as she felt her mother’s presence behind her.
“I didn’t want to change it until you came back,” Allison smiled. “But I’m sure you’d like to give this place a bit of a makeover.”
“Definitely,” she laughed. “I think I’ll go to Port Angeles this weekend, doing some shopping can’t hurt.”
“That’s true.” Allison side hugged her daughter as she laughed. She headed towards the door but stopped when she was called upon by her daughter.
“Hey, mom?”
“Yes, darling?”
“By any chance, do you know where Sam’s living?” Allison’s body stiffened but shared the information with her daughter. Maybe she could figure out why he’d just disappeared.
(Y/N) was surprised to hear he was living with a girl she barely knew. She knew of Emily Young through Leah Clearwater, but not much after that. Last thing she had heard Leah and Sam had been dating. She certainly had missed some very important pivotal points in her brother’s life.
The house wasn’t far, so she decided to walk there. Upon arrival she could feel the warm and inviting aura that the quaint house emanated. The blue door called to her as she knocked on it. It finally opened and revealed her brother.
“(Y/N), what’re you doing here?”
“I’m here to see my big brother. Is that such a crime?” She laughed.
“No, of course. Come in,” he smiled begrudgingly. “I don’t have much time so we gotta make this quick.”
“Wow, feeling the love there,” she chuckled passing through the doorframe.
“There’s just some things that I have to do before dinner tonight.”
“It’s okay, I get it. I just wanted to ask if you could help me on the weekend with my room. I’m bringing it four years into the present, gotta make sure it looks like an 18-year-old sleeps there.”
“Yeah, I’ll come over Sunday afternoon and help you then. Anything else you need?”
“Well, not exactly, but it wouldn’t help to catch up. You know make up for four years of chit chat conversations and get me up to date with at the happenings in your life.”
“There’s not much to say other than I moved out and I’m engaged.” He said nonchalantly.
“Excuse me?! You’re engaged and failed to mention that to me?”
“It’s not that big of a deal, (Y/N).”
“Yes, it is, Sam! You’re getting married and this is the first I’m ever hearing of this or the fact that you moved out or the fact that you’re engaged to your ex-girlfriend’s cousin. I think it is a big deal.”
“Okay, yeah. Kind of a long story on that one.”
“Enough time to tell it to me?” Sam hesitated. He could hear Emily’s truck approaching and two male voices coming back from patrol. He needed to get (Y/N) out of the house before they got here.
“Maybe another time. I’ll call you on Sunday, yeah?” Sam asked as he nudged his sister out of his house.
“I guess.” (Y/N) mumbled as she was pushed out the front door. “Bye.”
“See ya.” Sam kissed the side of her head and closed the door.
(Y/N) left the house with more questions about her brother that she had begun with but didn’t want to press on. There was no use if he wasn’t going to talk, so she walked back home.
Her mother had gone out, possibly grocery shopping for tonight’s dinner, giving (Y/N) time to catch up on some much-needed sleep. She walked up the stairs and into her room, plopping down on the bed not caring how she landed. All she wanted was to close her eyes and rest.
By six in the afternoon her eyes fluttered open once again. She could smell the dinner her mother had been cooking. The room had darkened as the sun was going down and thankfully her mother had turned on a lamp for (Y/N) to have some vision. The girl got up from bed and grabbed some clothes from her suitcase to take a quick shower before dinner. She stripped all her clothes off and let the water wash away all the hours of the day. As soon as the water started turning cold, she shut it off and got out.
For a second, (Y/N) stopped and stared at herself in the mirror above the sink. She barely recognized the girl staring back. The bags under her eyes were deeper than the last time she had seen herself in this specific mirror, her cheekbones were more defined than before, her skin paler than usual since she hadn’t really seen the sun in a while.
It didn’t take her long to change into some new clothes and head downstairs, where she saw her mother on the phone. Disappointment evident in her eyes.
“Sam, it’s your sister… please… ok, fine. Just don’t flake on her on Sunday,” Allison sighed, turning off her phone and slamming it on the counter.
“Everything okay, mom?”
“Oh, yeah, darling. Your brother won’t be able to join us, but Billy and Jacob, and the Clearwaters are on their way, and I also invited Charlie and Bella Swan. I hope you don’t mind that they join in.”
“No, I don’t mind. What about Paul?”
“You know I’ve never liked that boy, honey.” (Y/N) stared at her mother. Refusing to continue the conversation until Allison answered the question. “I did invite him, but he couldn’t come.”
“I love seeing you make an effort,” (Y/N) laughed and kissed her mother on the cheek. “I’ll set the table.”
“Thank you, darling.”
(Y/N) grabbed the 10 plates needed for the night and the respective cutlery. She still remembered how her mother liked the table arranged and set it as such. She set the vase filled with fresh flowers in the middle of the table, leaving space on the sides for the dinner platters. The arrival of the guests was soon after. (Y/N) had grown alongside Jacob and Leah, and on the summers, she would spend her times with the Swan girl. Once Seth was born, he became very close with the Uley girl.
“My oh my, (Y/N), how you’ve grown.” Billy Black grabbed Uley’s hand and smiled up at her, with the warmness that summer brought.
“Indeed, I have, and you haven’t aged a day in four years. What’s your secret?”
“It’s in the genes,” he laughed alongside the young girl. She’d always been a charmer, he thought “You remember my boy, Jacob, right?”
“How could I ever forget? Hey, Jake!”
“How you’ve been, (Y/N)?” Jacob approached his friend and wrapped her in a hug. “Been an awful long time.”
“Four years, that’s not much,” she smiled. “Come in.”
The father and son duo entered the house, and next came the Clearwaters. Harry, Sue, and Seth. No Leah. They had always been close to the Uleys, a bit of divide coming after the rupture between the eldest offspring of each family.
“Oh, wow, where has the time gone?” Sue commented, greeting the girl with a tight hug.
“4 years really do go by quick, don’t they?”
“They sure do, Harry.” (Y/N) smiled, motioning the couple in.
Finally, Seth walked in and engulfed (Y/N) in a tight hug. The girl was 5 years his elder, but he considered her one of his best friends. Seth and Paul were the only two people (Y/N) kept in close contact other than her family. For some time, Paul and (Y/N) had drifted apart but Seth always sent his monthly excited letters, updating her on what he had been up to.
“I missed you, (Y/N)!” Little Seth spoke into a bundle of brunette hair.
“I missed you too, Seth.” She smiled as he walked past her, joining his parents.
The last to enter were Sheriff Swan and Bella. The cop smiled at the girl and gave her a quick hug, commenting on how much she had grown, a low chuckle leaving his throat. Bella entered with hunched shoulders, possibly not wanting to be there but she still smiled at her old friend. Vague memories filled the girls’ heads of summer play dates and days at the beach.
“It’s been quite some time, huh?” Bella muttered.
“It sure has. It’s great to see you again,” (Y/N) smiled. “How have you liked Forks now that you’re back full time. Still hating cold weather?”
“Yeah,” the pale girl chuckled. “But it has its better days.”
The girls joined in a quick giggled before joining the rest of the group at the dinner table. Allison had already set the table and had said her hellos to the group.
The three males had engaged in sports conversations and the teens were all huddled in the kitchen munching on cheese and crackers and engaging in small chit chat.
“So, (Y/N), 18 and already a degree, how does that feel?” Jacob asked, stuffing his mouth with cheese and ham.
“Well, as good as it can be. Don’t know exactly what I’m gonna do now. All I know is that I’m taking a year off and taking a breather for the first time.” (Y/N) chuckled.
“I just can’t believe you’d spend all this time going to school, twice as much. I don’t like school at all,” Seth chimed in, picking apart the cheese and filling his mouth.
“So, you spent these past four years studying, including your summers?” Bella added.
“That’s correct,” (Y/N) smiled. “And now I have a degree and nothing to do with it.”
The group chuckled and moved towards the adults as they were being called to dinner. In the center of the table was a big platter of spaghetti and meatballs, (Y/N)’s favorite food, a tray of toasted garlic bread, and a bowl of a colorful mix of spring salad.
(Y/N) always enjoyed her mother’s cooking. Even on her saddest days, Allison’s cooking could warm her heart at any time. She and her mother had a very close relationship, even after four years of distance. Since her father left early in her life, her mother had always tried her hardest to make sure both her children were loved and cared for. And she stayed wondering where she had gone wrong with Sam and hoping (Y/N) didn’t stray away as her eldest had.
The dinner group had all taken their seats at the dinner table and were passing around the various platters, serving themselves their desired portions. Jacob and Seth were overfilling their plates, receiving a laugh from their respective parents. Charlie, Harry, and Billy were filling their plates with more protein than carbohydrates and the moms at the table smiled at the males engulfing the meatballs. (Y/N) looked around the table and smiled. It had been a long time since she had sat down with the important people in her life and was relaxed, even if two of them were missing.
After everyone was served, everything went almost quiet. Some background music could be heard from the living room and the sound of forks hitting plates and mouths chewing filled the environment. Everyone was comfortable with the silence, but there was still one question in everyone’s mind.
“Where’s Sam?” Seth spoke up, voicing everyone’s question. The whole table paused in action and Seth felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Sue softly elbowed her son. “What?”
“It’s okay, Sue,” (Y/N) smiled. “He couldn’t be here, bud.”
“Maybe he was feeling bad, like Leah.” He added earning a burning stare from both his parents.
“Maybe, Seth.”
“I just wanna apologize for our daughter missing this dinner. I know she really wanted to see you, (Y/N).”
“Oh, Harry, it’s really no problem. I’m sure I’ll catch up with her soon enough.” (Y/N) smiled trying to ease the tension felt in the room. She could see her mother gripping her fork tightly as she kept her head down. “But I would also like to apologize on behalf of Sam, I know he wanted to be here.”
Everyone simply nodded and went back to their plates. The rest of the evening was enjoyable. No one mentioned the pair that was missing, and (Y/N)’s past four years were questioned in depth. She had an answer for everything except “What are you gonna do now?”
She didn’t know and that’s what she answered. She mentioned she wanted to study medicine, having finished a degree in biology and always loved taking care of other people. Sue was excited, being a nurse herself. But (Y/N) had landed at a standstill in terms of her life and career. A vast portion of her life had been defined as a student and now that this part was over, she didn’t know who she was.  
The dinner festivities were over soon thereafter, leaving Allison and (Y/N) to clean up after the group. The Uley pair put everything away in silence, exhausted from the eventful day. (Y/N) could see as her mother wiped away a few stray tears, sniffling behind her hair. The girl knew better than to bring the topic back up and left her mother with a kiss on the temple and a good night.
Upstairs, (Y/N) prepared herself for bed. The event had drained nay energy still left in her and she plopped down on the bed with a small thud. She had prepared her clothes for the next day, knowing her energy would also be drained but still excited to have this change. Her eyes fluttered close as she heard in the distance her mother’s quiet footsteps on the staircase, darkness overtaking her.
Next->
A/N: if you wish to be tagged for the next parts, please let me know. I’d be happy to. <3
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Link
Rating: T (for inherent neutral ending angst)
Summary: Toriel's old house feels like a mausoleum. She will gladly ignore chisp crumbs and lumpy mattresses for a place that feels more like home.  (Queen Toriel ending fic for Soriel Week 2021.)
Word Count: 5211
XXX
The bedroom was exactly how she left it. Her bed pushed up against the gray wall. A book about snails on the wooden desk. A knit sweater with the embroidered words "Mrs. Mom Lady" in the wardrobe.
Even after all this time, she could barely look at it without her soul splitting in two.
She'd known this wouldn't be easy. She hadn't seen this house in over a century. Still, she wasn't prepared for how Asgore had sealed up her old room like a tomb, a photograph of the day that everything went terribly, horribly wrong.
At least the last child was safe. They should not have had to take a life to save their own, but she doubted Asgore had given them a choice.  Her own soul felt more numb than anything.  To her, Asgore had died a century ago.
What was done, was done. And as usual, she was too late to do anything but sweep up the dust.
She backed through the doorframe, shutting the door with a quiet click. She would have to return eventually, but for now, she yearned for a place with fewer painful memories.
"Hey, Your Majesty." A voice startled her as she attempted to escape the foyer. Luckily it was a voice she would always recognize.
"Hello, old friend." She turned and smiled at the monster leaning against the stair railing.
He was smaller than she expected, with that deep voice. Not that that was a bad thing. As for him being a skeleton, that had been apparent from the abundance of bone puns.
"You know the formality is unnecessary," she told him softly.
"Is it?" He shuffled from foot to slippered foot. 
In all her time of joking with him through the door, she had never expected him to be so cute. 
"Didn't want to assume, old lady."
He winked, and she felt a weight lift from her chest. At least one monster would still treat her like a person, and not like a mythical figure returned to save them.
"Toriel," she introduced herself for the first time. He had to have heard already, but between rushing to the palace, scattering Asgore's dust, comforting their—her people… she hadn't had time to seek out her friend.
He seemed to feel comfortable walking right into her home, though. Did he ever visit Asgore when he was here? Her friend seemed like the type of monster who went wherever he felt like, and Asgore, for all his flaws, had never turned a monster away from his home.
"Sans." He held out a bony hand. "Sans the skeleton."
"Nice to meet you, Sans," she tested out the name and clasped his hand with her paw.
A loud pthbbbbbt echoed through the empty hall. Her eyes widened.
"Wow, Toriel. That's, uh, some way to make an introduction." He winked.
She squinted down at the inflatable object in his hand, the source of the farting noise. Then she pretended to ignore it.
"It certainly is. I was not aware that skeletons were capable of flatulence."
His eyelights gutted for a moment before he burst out laughing.
"Your jokes are even better in person," he said once he composed himself.
His laugh set her soul fluttering. In all their conversations through the door, he'd never laughed like that. Maybe she should have tried fart jokes sooner.
"I am always happy to tickle your funny bone." She smiled, and his face tinged blue.
"Happy to be tickled. But, uh. I guess that's not all I'm here for?"
Her breath caught in her lungs. Of course he would not visit without a reason. 
"I suppose not. Would you like to have a seat?"
"It's nothing that serious," he assured her quickly. "I just thought you'd want an update on the kid."
"You've spoken with them? They are still here?"  She tried to keep the hysteria from her voice.
How could they have taken Asgore’s soul and not returned home?  Had the Barrier proven too powerful?
"No—geez, I'm making this sound worse." He ran a bony palm down his face. "They’re definitely gone.  Papyrus tried to call them nonstop.  Besides that, you know the big stuff. The king's dead."
Her lips drew to a thin line, pulling tight across her fangs.
"I can hardly fault them for that."
"Right." He stuck his hands back in his pockets. "I gotta be honest. The way the kid looked when I last saw them… I don't think they did it."
Her brow furrowed. She was inclined to hope that the child had not chosen violence.  They had been so sweet, so eager to talk and joke with the monsters of the Ruins, so quick to hug her even after she’d fought them.  It was hard to imagine them striking down Asgore.
"But… then what do you think happened?"
Sans shrugged. "Wish I knew. I kept watch best I could, but…"
"I could not expect you to come between them and your king." As much as she wished he could have. She had hardly expected him to agree to watch over the human at all.
“Couldn’t have even if I wanted to.  These bones aren’t as sturdy as they look.  Maybe I shoulda listened to my bro and drank more milk...” He grimaced and glanced away.  “Anyway.  Like I said, I don’t know what happened.  Just.  Be careful, okay?”
“Careful?” She blinked.
“Yeah.  You never know.” His gaze flickered to a potted golden flower on the end table next to the stairs.
“Sans.  If I did not know better, that would sound like a threat.” She crouched down, so she could better meet his eyesockets. “Is there something you are trying to tell me?”
“Man. First I rip one in front of a lady, then I threaten her.  I’m makin’ a great first impression.”  He rocked back and forth on his slippers. “Look. Toriel. I don’t wanna scare you, ‘specially since today must’ve been hard. Real hard.”
His eyelights bored into her irises. She found herself needing to look away.
“It has certainly been… interesting. Moreso than any day since I last saw this place.” She suppressed a shudder.
Change. Her life had been constant for so long.  There would be no more of that, now. Hopefully that would be for the better, but only time would tell.
“Yeah. Being flung away from everything you’re used to… don’t imagine that’s a cakewalk. Don’t want you to worry about freaks hiding in the shadows on top of that.”
Somehow, she felt he made more sense when he was on the other side of a door. Knock-knock jokes had a formula. Just another normalcy she had forfeited, she supposed.
“Please, Sans. If you believe I am in danger, you may say so.”
“Fine. So.” He grinned, and she couldn’t help a snort.
“Alright, I suppose I walked into that one.” She smiled, despite his warning. “Under normal circumstances, I would say I could handle myself. But I must admit you are more updated on the state of the kingdom than I.  Do you have any information that could help?”
“...Not really?” His grin turned sheepish.  “You look like a tough lady. I bet my bones are rattling over nothing.”
“I would still humer-us you.”
He gave her a funny look. “You’re actually taking me seriously?”
“Why would I not? You are my friend.  Perhaps… my only friend, at this point,” she admitted.  It would be foolish to ignore a warning, even if it was based on gut feeling. Or, whatever skeletons had in place of a gut.
“Well.  Uh.  If someone, something, was behind the king’s… yeah. If it wasn’t the kid, whoever else it was might still be around. So.” He coughed. “Sounds stupid when I say it like that, huh.”
“It does not.  I think it is sweet that you are worried.” He wouldn’t be able to see her blush, thankfully. It had been a long time since anyone had looked out for her.
“Geez, Toriel.” He rubbed the back of his skull. “You’re gonna ruin my reputation.”
“What reputation? Are you typically a monster with a heart of bone?” she teased.
“Nah. I just don’t worry. Too much work.”  It was difficult to tell if he was joking.  “Guess I can make an exception this once, though.”
“Why, thank you, my friend.”  She had the sudden urge to reach out and squeeze his hand.  It would be more for her own comfort than his, so she did not act on it. “To be honest, your words are a relief. I do not mind the excuse to avoid this place.”
“Oh.” He sounded surprised. “You got somewhere else you’d rather be?”
She both did, and did not. How could she explain without sounding like a clinging child?
...Perhaps that was the wrong metaphor. She would have preferred her children to be a little clingier.
“‘Cause, uh, if you don’t mind a bit of mess… my door’s always open.”
She blinked at the offer. Had he felt the thoughts stirring in her soul?
She didn’t want to be alone. Not again. And she had told him the truth: there were unlikely to be any other monsters she knew still around. Perhaps Gerson; she and Asgore had always joked that he would outlive them.
That joke seemed awfully morbid now.
“Sorry. Was that too forward? Our friendship’s built off closed doors; guess we should just take 'em one at a—"
"No," she interjected too forcefully. “No. I would love to visit your home.”
Though she had never set foot there, she already suspected it would feel more like a home than this place.
“You really—? Great.” His skull tinged the faintest blue. “Just, uh, know that it’s nothing fancy.”
Toriel smiled. “‘Nothing fancy’ sounds wonderful at the moment.”
Perhaps wherever he lived would be out of the way enough that news of her return would be delayed. If she could be lucky enough to pass for an ordinary monster… well, that was likely too much to wish for. It certainly wasn’t becoming of a queen to hide from her subjects.
Stars, there was so much to get used to. So many formalities to reacquaint herself with.  She hoped such things would wait until tomorrow.
Sans returned her smile.
“In that case, I know a shortcut.”
XXX
She handled the shortcut well for a first-timer. No stumbling on the other end, no complaints of nausea or dizziness. Of course, she was a Queen. A Boss Monster. Why would a magic trick ruin her composure?
Sans wanted to laugh. All this time, he'd been joking with the Queen. She didn't seem to mind, but she could just be “humerus”ing him.
...Nah. She had every excuse to ignore him if she really wanted to. Instead she'd actually taken him up on his offer.
He almost forgot to drop her hand once their feet landed in the soft snow. Heh. Who was he kidding? It was just nice to feel her fur under his fingers. To touch her, and know that she was real.
"Oh!" Her eyes lit up, reflecting the gyftmas lights strung haphazardly around the house's columns. "I remember this place!"
"You do?" Sans's browbone furrowed.
"I saw it while travelling from the Ruins to…" she trailed off.  To stop the kid from fighting Asgore.
Sans felt stupid for not trying to stop them himself.  Not that a kid that determined would’ve listened, anyway.  Still… he’d believed in them.  Hoped that by some miracle, they’d get ‘em out of this mess.
Heh. That was too much pressure to put on a kid, even a determined one.
"Yeah." He coughed quietly. "Guess we're hard to miss. Papyrus did something to the Gyftmas lights—even when the CORE lights go out for the night, ours stay on. Never figured out how he pulled that off."
Toriel laughed before seeming to realize something.
"I will get to meet your brother!" She clasped her hands together. "I wish it had not come about for such an unhappy reason, but I am excited nonetheless."
He chuckled. Her excitement was contagious. That was something she and Papyrus had in common already.
He pushed the door open, called out for his brother—and noticed the monster sprawled out on his couch.
"Oh." Sans blinked at Undyne, who was snoring so loudly, he should've heard it from outside. Guess he'd been a little distracted. "Uh. This is awkward."
"What is it?" Toriel hung back, her head ducking through the doorframe. "Is your brother sleeping? I would not wish to wake him. You said he rarely sleeps, did you not?"
"Nah, it's not him. Forgot his pal's house burned down. Actually, I'm sure you met her. Undyne? Captain of the Royal Guard?"
"I… yes, we met." Toriel edged inside, closing the door behind her with a soft click. "She looks far more peaceful now than she did this morning. From what I understand, my ex-husband was something of a father to her."
"Something like that." Sans nodded in agreement. There hadn't even been a Royal Guard until Asgore created the position for her. Sans wondered if Toriel would keep it around now that Asgore was gone.
Welp. It wouldn't hurt, what with his suspicions about Papyrus's friend "Flowery." 
(Maybe Sans should let Toriel sleep on the top floor rather than the couch anyway. No dirt for stray flowers to get into up there.)
"Should we be staring?" Toriel said with a soft chuckle.
Sans shook his thoughts away. "Sorry. Just thinking. I, uh…"
There wasn't room on the top floor. Sans's lumpy, crumb-dusted mattress was out of the question. That left only Papyrus's bed, which while rarely in use, had too much sentimental value to give to Toriel without asking. Where was Papyrus, anyway?
"Undyne!" His brother practically kicked in the door. "I have returned with nutritious—oh!"
Papyrus's sockets blinked at Toriel. Then at Sans. Then at Toriel again.
(Undyne let out another loud snore.)
"Sans?”  Papyrus dropped his groceries on the table next to the pet rock. “Why didn't you tell me we had another guest??"  
Because he was an idiot who hadn't planned past one impulsive offer. His face went a little blue.
"I guest you would figure it out," he managed to joke. 
Toriel let out a bleating laugh at that. The suddenness of it was enough to jolt Undyne awake.
"NGAHH!!" She tried to leap off the couch, but ended up rolling onto the floor. "I'm here, Asgore! I won't—oh."
Her single eye blinked up at Toriel. 
"Papyrus?" Undyne hissed through her teeth. "Why didn't you tell me the Queen was coming??"
"Because I didn't know!" Papyrus replied brightly. 
"I, uh, promise I'm usually more professional than this." Undyne summoned an energy spear and used it to push herself to her feet. The attack left a small char mark on the carpet. "I am at your service, Your Majesty."
Sans thought she looked real professional in a pair of Papyrus's MTT-brand crop top pajamas. Toriel didn't comment on that though, instead opting for a matronly smile.
"There is no need for that, Captain. I am not here on business, but as a friend."
That smile turned towards Sans, and he fought back a blush.
"Yeah. I was just gonna, uh, make some dinner. Y'know, welcome our queen back with some Snowdin hospitality."
"Dinner?" Papyrus squinted suspiciously. "You don't cook dinner. I cook dinner."
"First time for everything, right?" Sans winked to hide his embarrassment. 
Of course Papyrus wouldn't buy his excuse. But he really didn't want his brother and Undyne worrying on top of Toriel. Granted, it was Undyne's job to worry about security threats… but she'd tear up the house's foundation if she thought an enemy might be hiding anywhere in a five-mile radius. 
"Sans," Toriel chided him. "You do not owe me that."
"Wowie! You must be a great influence on him, Bald Asgore!"
Toriel blinked before bursting out laughing. Sans's grin widened. 
"Her name is Toriel, bro."
"Of course!! Where are my manners?" Papyrus bustled past him to shake Toriel's paws. "I am the Great Papyrus! It's an honor to meet you, Queen Toriel!"
"The honor is mine. Sans has told me so much about you," she said, and Papyrus blushed pink.
"You? Know the new queen?" Undyne whispered to Sans while Papyrus and Toriel got acquainted.
"You know me. I know everyone." He winked.
"She came out of nowhere."
"Yeah. My bro and I know what that's like."
Undyne huffed, but Sans didn't offer a more thorough explanation.
Papyrus's affronted shout signalled that Toriel had dropped her first pun.
"I take it back! This is the worst day of my life!!" 
Sans met Toriel's eyes, and they both laughed.
"I suppose I will have to help Sans in the kitchen as my pun-ishment," she said with a coy wink.
"Normally I would object to a guest cooking, but in this case I will make an exception!" Papyrus turned on his heel and grabbed Undyne's arm. "We will clean up the living room in the meantime! Try not to corrupt the queen any further, Sans!!"
"Wouldn't dream of it, bro."
He gave a quick wink to Toriel behind Papyrus's back, and they moved to the kitchen.
"Did I actually upset him…?" She asked once they were out of earshot.
"Nah. He's just dramatic like that. He'll drop three puns per sentence when he thinks I'm not listening."
He turned away, rummaging through the fridge for something edible they could cook.  Discreetly, he tucked his empty chisp bag behind Papyrus’s spaghetti-filled tupperware.
“Oh, good.  I would not want to make a bad first impression.”
“Pfft. You’d have to try real hard to do that, Tori.  My bro sees the best in everyone.”  He smiled and pulled a “pupperoni” pizza out of the freezer.  It wasn’t anything fancy, but at least it would be edible.
He turned around, pizza in hand, and found Toriel staring at him oddly.
“What?”  His sockets widened.  “Uh, you’re not vegetarian, are you?”
She shook her head quickly, her gaze skimming off of his like oil from water.
“Pizza sounds lovely.  It has been quite some time since I had one.”
Sans didn’t pry, but he couldn’t help wondering what her expression had meant.  Had he said something weird?
...Oh.  He’d called her Tori, hadn’t he?  He should know better than to use nicknames without asking.  Papyrus hated them.
“Please, allow me.”  She held out her paws, so she couldn’t be too upset.
He handed over the pizza, and he jumped when fire flared to life in her palms.  For a moment he thought the fire would scorch the pizza beyond recognition, but the flames were just pleasantly warm.  He’d never known a monster other than Grillby to have such careful control of fire magic.
“Heh.  I didn’t know you were so hot, Toriel.”
As soon as he said it, he clamped his jaw shut.  Geez, how stupid could he be?  Making bad jokes was one thing, but flirting with bad jokes?
The fire went out.  She looked up abruptly—er, looked away from the pizza.  He was still a good two feet shorter than her.
“Tori was fine,” she said, her voice soft.
“Uh,” he replied intelligently. 
She suppressed a giggle, and he was pretty sure his face burned hotter than her fire had.  He could stand to take notes from Alphys and throw himself in the trash.
“Or not.  Whatever is comfortable for you,” she reassured him.  “Now, should we eat dinner before it gets cold?”
Eating was hardly something he could screw up at.
“Sure,” then after a pause, he tested, “Tori.”
Forget her fire magic.  Her smile could’ve heated the pizza all on its own.
XXX
For once in a hundred years, dinner was a warm and energetic affair.  In addition to the pizza, Papyrus had tossed together a salad from his fresh groceries, and Sans had briefly stepped out to grab a few orders of wings and fries.  In the end there was plenty of food for four hungry monsters.
Papyrus apologized for the lack of seating, but Toriel didn’t mind sitting on the couch squeezed between Sans and Undyne, eating off of paper plates.  She couldn’t imagine anywhere she would have felt more comfortable.
Before long, though, the day’s fatigue caught up with her.  She supposed it was to be expected—she wouldn’t regain her social stamina all at once.  
Sans caught her eye, and he nodded towards the stairs as Undyne and Papyrus “owned” each other in an MTT-Brand fighting game.
“Sorry.  I know they can be a bit much.” Sans rubbed the back of his skull.  
“They’re lovely.  I wish I had the energy to keep up with them.”  She smiled.
He leaned against the banister, smiling down at them.  Papyrus had gotten the upper hand this time, and was punching the air with joy.
“Me too,” Sans said, still looking away.  “I was thinking.  If you want a place to rest for the night, my bed’s open.”
She blinked.  Her face seemed to catch fire.  That was rather more… forward than she was expecting.  Sure, she had enjoyed his lighthearted flirting, and much as she tried to deny it, feelings had been growing in her for a long time.  But to have him return those feelings? And so boldly? It was as unfathomable as it was unlikely.
“I can get ya some fresh sheets, and I’ll crash in the shed.  My bro set up an, uh, guest room there when the human was in town.”
Oh.  She rubbed the heat from her face while he wasn’t looking.  How foolish could she be, to think he would be implying…? Well.
“I would not force you out of your room,” she said.  “If your brother prepared a guest room, I am sure that would be adequate.”
He let out a quick laugh.  “Uh, you’re not used to my brother’s… decorating.  Seriously, I don’t mind.”
She sighed.  If he insisted, she supposed it would be rude to deny his hospitality.
“Alright.  Thank you very much, Sans.”
“Great.”  He smiled back at her, then went into his brother’s room.  She waited patiently, and only jumped a little when he suddenly reappeared from the right hand door.  Perhaps the two rooms were connected in the back by a bathroom.
“Hotel Sans, one vacancy.”  He winked while holding the door open.
She chuckled behind her hand.  “You really did not have to resort to this.”
“Heh, I wouldn’t call it much of a resort.  The bed’s not even queen sized.”  He rubbed the back of his skull.
The bed was smaller than she was used to, but it did have fresh sheets.  That was the only fresh thing about the room.  Chisp crumbs had been brushed under the dresser, and… that was a tornado.  A self-sustaining trash tornado.  Though at least there was a pine-scented air freshener suspended in it.
“Sorry, it’s… really not much.  Uh.  Probably kinda insulting, expecting the Queen to sleep—”
“It’s perfect.”
He blinked.  “Huh?” 
“I am no stranger to a few crumbs, Sans.”
She remembered days that bled into weeks that bled into months.  Months where she couldn’t bring herself to clean, could hardly bring herself to care at all.  Months that had grown fewer and farther between since she’d met a friendly voice behind a door.
“I would’ve vacuumed,” he said sheepishly, “but I suck at it.”
More embarrassingly loud laughter burst from her.  In front of Sans, though, she didn’t feel the need to curtail her joy.
“Thank you.” She poured as much sincerity as she could into her voice.  
“‘S no problem, Tori.”  A light blue tinge warmed his cheekbones.  How could he possibly look so adorable? “Bathroom’s down the hall if you wanna wash up or anything.  And Undyne’ll be on the couch, so this is probably the safest place in the Underground right now.”
Her brow furrowed.  Sure enough, there was no bathroom door inside the room—he must have used one of his “shortcuts” to move from his brother’s room to here.
“So, uh.  I’ll be in the shed—uh, guest room if you need me.”  He flashed one more tense grin before turning to leave.
“Wait.” She stepped towards him without thinking.  
He looked up, one brow ridge raised.  She found herself biting her lip, wondering if she dared ask what her soul wanted.  It was silly, really.  She’d been on her own for years, decades.
Maybe that was why she was so hesitant to lose this one taste of companionship.
“I would feel… safer, if you would stay too.”  Her face burned beneath her fur, but she projected her usual composure.
“...Welp. Can’t say no to that, huh?”
She was about to reassure him that he could say no—that she was asking as his friend, not as his queen—but the soft smile on his face told her he already knew.  
He briefly left to grab a few things, then returned with a few pillows and, for some reason, a dog bed.
“You are not going to sleep on that,” she said in disbelief.
He flopped the dog bed in the middle of the floor and started fluffing it.  “Why not?  Gotta throw a dog bed a bone, right?”
“Sans.”  
The outdoor lights dimmed, as if at her command.  Only the colored Gyftmas lights outside and one dim indoor bulb lit the room.
Her confidence waned with the light.  What had she expected him to do?  She’d asked him to stay.  Unless she wanted to…
Oh, to hell with it.  She was too old to be so shy about these things.
“If you are not opposed,” she swallowed, “we could… share this mattress.”
When he looked up, she couldn’t make out his eyelights at all.  Their glow returned slowly, like the rising of the sun from her memories.
“Heh… you sure?  You don’t even know if I snore.”
She laughed and sat on the bed, patting the space beside her.  “You do not know if I snore, either.”
“Fair enough, Tori.”
They took turns cleaning up in the bathroom—she was imposing on Sans enough without adding the smell of dirty fur to his bed.  Then she did her best to ignore the flutterings in her soul as he slipped off his hoodie and climbed up onto the mattress.  She insisted he stay under the sheets; her fur would keep her warm enough with just the light blanket on top.  
The sheets were a barrier in name only.  There was only so much space on the mattress, so no matter how he adjusted and apologized, she could still feel the curve of his spine against hers.
It felt amazing.  It felt terrifying.  It felt like a mistake.  It felt like the only thing she’d ever done right.
The one saving grace of the whole situation was that it didn’t stir memories of Asgore.  Her royal beds had been triple the size of Sans’s lumpy mattress. She and her ex-husband had rarely slept back to back, and if they had, the feeling would have much different.
“...Tori?” Sans’s voice was just above a whisper.  “You, uh, still awake?”
As if she could sleep while enduring the wonderful agony of friendly touch for the first time in a century.
“Yes,” she replied softly.  “Am I taking up too much space?”
“No, ‘course not. I was just, uh… geez.” He sounded embarrassed.
Risking their precarious balance, she rolled over to face him.  Or to face the back of his skull, at least.
“Are you alright?” she asked.
“Doin’ sans-sational.” He chuckled to himself.  “Sorry.  Never got to use that one with you before.”
She would have laughed, had she not worried about shaking the whole mattress.
“It was sans-tastic,” she joked back, and he laughed again.
Then abruptly, his laughter cut off.
“Thanks, Tori,” he said in a quiet but firm voice.
“What for?” She wished she could take his hand, see his face, learn what thoughts were passing through his skull.  Instead she gave him as much space as physically possible… which still was not much.
A long, silent moment passed.  Had he fallen asleep?
“I know it’s not how you wanted,” he finally said, “but I’m glad I got to meet you.  So.  Thanks.”
Warmth spread outward from her soul to fill her whole body.  Sans could probably feel it radiating from her.
“Thank you, Sans.  If I had to return, knowing no one…”
He rolled to face her.  His eyelights were mere inches from her pupils.
“You would’ve been fine.  All you had to do was tell a few of your amazing jokes, and the whole Underground would’ve been linin’ up to be your pals.”
She suppressed a laugh.  “I hardly think that would be appropriate, under the circumstances.”
“Eh.”  He shrugged.  “Plenty of monsters in town cope with jokes.  You’d just be relating to the common folk.”
She stared into his sockets a little too intently.  At this distance, it easily made her dizzy.
“Would you be included in that demographic?” she couldn’t help asking.
“When I first met you?  For sure.” His gaze darted away.  “But it’s crazy.  Between you and the kid… I’m startin’ to think there’s more to life than good food and bad laughs.”
“Really?”  She and the child had made such an impact on him?
“I know.  Don’t tell Papyrus.  He wouldn’t believe you, anyway.” He winked.
“My lips are sealed.” She smiled.
Silence hung between them.  It should have felt awkward, but she couldn’t bring herself to turn away.  In the end it was Sans who yawned in her face and then hurriedly flipped back onto his other side.
She laughed, and clearly she was exhausted too, because she pressed a kiss to the back of his skull without thinking.
He froze.  She froze.  There was no way to play that off gracefully.  And there was no way she could fall asleep and pretend that it had not happened.
“Heh… those didn’t feel very sealed to me,” he finally rasped out.
It took her a moment to process what he meant.  Meanwhile her embarrassment only burned hotter.
“I am so sorry—”
“I’m not.” When he rolled back to face her, his face was bright blue.  “You’ll still be here when I wake up, right?”
His question was tinged with desperation.
“Of course,” she answered automatically, despite the many responsibilities that she would have to attend to in the morning.  She was the Queen once more.  If she had to, she could adjust the schedule of meetings and speeches to accommodate… this.
Whatever this was to be.
“Remind me in the morning,” he squeezed her hand, “that this is real.”
His hand quickly went limp.  She was worried for a moment, before she heard the faint snore escape his nasal cavity.
She gave him a fond smile, and allowed her own eyes to close.  She did not know if sleep would come or not.  She did not know what challenges the new day would bring, or what old challenges would continue to rear their heads.
But she did know that she was not alone.  For tonight, that was enough.
170 notes · View notes
shorkbrian · 3 years
Note
💖💘my heart’s dizzy and I my dose of serotonin whenever I read your prose🤟🏽😩 was wondering if you could do reader with an erratic future-vision!quirk so when they first meet yandere!Hawks they’re suddenly plagued by erotic, sensual, 365days-level of disturbing visions of them, so reader actively avoids them (it’s like those Tik Tok future-seeing videos playing to “Play Date”)
Prelude - Hawks isn’t a famous pro-hero in this, but he still has his quirk. It’s not really mentioned a bunch tho lol.  This is rlly long, but I decided not to put it into two parts because the smut is so slight lol. Hope this meets your expectations anon, thank you for reading!
Pairing -  Keigo Takami X Reader
Warnings - NSFW mentions, dubcon, noncon. No out-and-out explicit smut, just a really long story. Hawks is manipulative and gets what he wants
Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5ukAQcKEIJuzIbP55xp07x?si=iz6I-RoDSdCNYhT2Du8etg
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He was a friend of a friend, someone you had only met once or twice.
Your friend kept bringing him to hangouts, he kept showing up on her instagram feed,  getting mentioned in her twitterbio, and eventually it came out that they had started dating. It didn’t catch anyone by surprise.
What did catch you by surprise, was how infatuated with him your friend was.
“He’s just sooooo hot, isn’t he?” She squealed, shoving her phone in your face to show off a shirtless pic he had just sent her.
You nodded in agreement, quickly appraising the pic before turning your head. Yeah, her boyfriend was attractive, but you weren’t one to ruin relationships. Plus, you and Keigo had never really talked past the brief “Hey” and “Wassup?” said in greeting when introduced the first time.
“Can he come to the mall with us on Friday? I promise there will be no third wheeling.” Your friend begged, clasping her hands together. You thought about it for a second - this had been a fun shopping trip the two of you had planned a few weeks ago, meant as a girls date on a day the mall wouldn’t be crowded. But would it really hurt anything if her boyfriend came along? Probably not.
“Yeah, I don’t mind.” You shrugged, watching your friends face erupt into a wide grin. “But don’t ditch me to go makeout in a bathroom or something, got it?”
“Sir yes sir!” Your friend faux saluted, before patting you on the shoulder. “Thanks girlie!”
You jerked back, head suddenly swarming with visions, your quirk activating. Your quirk was helpful in some ways, but you mainly tried not to use it - headaches resulted, and you hated getting glimpses of the future. Sometimes they’d be good, but they were often bad - you had gotten a screenshot glimpse of your brothers death, his face marred and bleeding out onto the pavement.
It still made you sick to think about it.
Touch wasn’t something you could always avoid, but you tried, seeing as how it activated your quirk, giving you visions of your future with whomever you touched, or whoever touched you.
You saw your friends face, eyes puffy with tears, shouting something. Then another scene flashed, your friend on TV, talking to a reporter.
Thankfully, the visions ended, this episode relatively quick due to how short of a time she touched you.
“Oh shit, I forgot, I’m so sorry.” She rushed to apologize, holding her hands up and backing away from you.
“It’s-it’s fine.” You wheezed, waving your hand in the air to signal that it wasn’t a big deal. The vision just probably meant the two of you would get into a fight soon, which wasn’t uncommon.  It was fine, you were fine.
——
The mall wasn’t too crowded, which made the day pleasant. Your friend was talking to her boyfriend, hand tangled with his as the three of you walked in.
“So (Y/N), what do you think about that new Victoria’s Secret launch?” Your friend bumped you with her hip, drawing your attention as she pulled you into the conversation between her and her boyfriend.
“Oh, um… what?” To be fair, you had zoned out when the couple started being gross and mushy, which was like, the second your friend met Keigo at the door.
The blonde man laughed. “Victoria’s Secret just launched a new line of lingerie, have any thoughts about it?”
Turning red, you smiled sheepishly. “Ah, well…. From what I’ve seen of their stuff it’s… nice? So I’m sure it’s good.”
Your friend mock-gasped, almost slapping you on the arm before quickly remembering your quirk, drawing her hand back. You gave a quick nod of thanks.
“(Y/N)! Don’t tell me you didn’t even know about it?! I practically live, eat, and sleep Victoria’s Secret, it’s impossible to miss their product drops when you’re one of my friends.”
Unsure how to respond, you floundered, opening and closing your mouth like a lost fish.
“Babe, leave her be, she’s probably just shy.” Keigo stepped in, giving his girlfriend a chuckle as he steered you both towards a shop.
“Fineeee.” Your friend whined, turning to focus on the task ahead. “They have a VS shop here though, you’re not getting out of here without going in with me!”
----
The VS store was huge, smelling sweetly of flowers, bright colors assaulting your vision, soft pop music filling your ears.
It was hard not to cringe at all the fancy lingerie, you were honestly a bit embarrassed to be strolling through the store with your friend, let alone her boyfriend by her side.
“Does-does Keigo mind?” You quietly asked your friend, out of earshot of her boyfriend, who was looking at perfumes, last time you checked.
“Not at all birdie, I’m used to clothes, any form, any shape.”
You whirled around, squeaking in surprise at Keigo, who had apparently finished with browsing the perfume. He was flashing you a 1000 watt grin, continuing with what he was saying. “I’m a model, practically every girl I’ve ever met I’ve seen in less than full underwear, it’s no big deal.”
“Oh…. Cool.” You offered, cheeks turning red again. You felt like such a blushing schoolgirl, turning red when faced with looking at bras and panties, flushing when a man got too close.
It was the nature of the store, you told yourself, that was making you so embarrassed.
“Oo! What do you think of this one?” Your friend was holding up a babydoll, pink, with light fabric and zero coverage.
Keigo wolf whistled. “Man, that’d be a good look for you. Lets buy it.” The couple moved on, pointing at different clothes, your friend occasionally picking one from the rack to hold up against her body, looking for Keigo’s opinion.
They were cute together, laughing over the cheesy names on the tags of the lingerie, holding hands as the browsed, your friend occasionally stopping to plant a kiss on her boyfriend’s cheek.
“I think that’s everything that I like…. (Y/N), your turn!” Pulled out of your casual observance, you back pedaled. “Me? No, I’m not really the type to wear this kind of stuff - I don’t even think most of it would fit, I have weird proportions.“
“Nonsense!” Keigo looked around for a moment, going to the nearest rack to quickly sift through bras, before pulling one out. “This one would make all the boys drool over you honey.”
He held it out towards you, shaking it slightly when you hesitated to take it. Was your friend okay with him talking to you like that, pushing underwear at you to buy? A quick glance sideways showed she was more than okay with it, clasping her hands excitedly as she watched you.
The bra was sheer, soft lavender fabric forming the cups, an intricate embroidered detail of flowers dotted haphazardly over the bra. It was pretty, but you weren’t exactly partial to it. When would you wear it? Who would you wear it for? You weren’t sure it was your style. Plus, it probably wasn’t even your size.
“My arm’s gettin’ real tired.” Keigo joked, before you finally took the garment from him. Checking the size, you paused for a second, blinking towards the man.
“How did you-?”
“You spend enough time in the fashion industry, you learn to tell a girl’s size just by looking at her.”  He seemed to puff up, as if he was proud of his bra-sizing skills.
“Let me help her pick out some things too!” Your friend cried, rushing past you to head over to the next rack, ushering you to follow with a wave of her hand.
You ended up with an armful of lingerie - bras, panties,  an odd bustier or two, and some other flowy items, like a sheer robe and a lacy chemise. The choices weren’t exactly made by you, more so made by a combination of your friend and Keigo together. They had alternated holding up items towards your body, comparing color and garment cuts, lost in their own mushy-gushy world, and it was almost like you didn’t exist for a few moments, nothing more than a barbie doll to dress up.
But now the three of you stood in line to checkout, and you felt included again, your friend cracking jokes that were making you snort, Keigo watching the two of you interact.
Until your friend accidentally brushed against your arm as she shifted forward in line.
Again, you saw her tearful face, heard her sobbing, before the other scene flashed, of her on TV, talking to the reporter. She still looked upset, eyes rimmed red, nose running, hair a mess.
With a gasp, your vision returned to the present, and you were wobbling on your feet, almost falling.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry (Y/N), I’m so so sorry. Here, let me take that, go sit down by the entrance.” She fussed over you, face concerned as she carefully took the stack of clothes from your arms, making sure to not make contact.
“Oh fuck, is she alright?” You heard Keigo ask, your friend stepping in front of you as he moved forward to check on you.
“Yeah, she’s just feeling a little dizzy. Can you make sure she doesn’t fall and crack her head open? Just wait by the entrance please.”
“Okay. Oh, here-“ You were a bit dazed, but you saw Keigo fish his wallet out of his pocket, thrusting the entire thing into his girlfriends hands before patting her on the shoulder “Whichever card is fine.”
And then you were stumbling towards the entrance, towards the bench right outside.
You hated seeing the future. Why was your friend crying? What had happened to elicit such a reaction? The unknowns killed you, kept you up at night as you tried to puzzle out the events that could lead up to the scenes from your visions.
Not looking where you were going, you tripped on air, unable to catch yourself as you plummeted towards the ground.
But then you were seeing Keigo.
He was above you, face flushed and sweaty, hair tousled, his chest bare. The room was dark, barely lit, and he was so close. The man leaned down to kiss you, then the scene changed.
You were bent over a table, only able to see the solid wood your face was smushed against. There was a heat in your belly, a tingling between your thighs, and pressure. Someone was talking - Keigo, muttering behind you angrily. You head was pulled up, a hand fisted in your hair, and then one of your knees was pushed up onto the table, and the pressure inside exploded into pure pleasure.
You felt yourself screaming, bucking your hips as you suffered through whatever the feeling was.
The scene changed again.
Hands tied above your head, you were pressed against a wall, sitting on some kind of…. Saddle? Your legs couldn’t touch the ground, and you squirmed, before gasping loudly.
There was a nub in the seat, ribbed and textured, slick with some kind of liquid… From you? Then you saw Keigo, standing in front of you, smirking at you with hardened eyes.
He had something in his hand, arms crossed over his chest while he fiddled with the object, muscles flexing. He was shirtless again, and-and his cock was hanging out of his sweatpants, pressed against his belly, smearing precum over his skin.
You tried to say something, anything - the visions never lasted this long, it was too intense, there was so much sensation. But your mouth wouldn’t move, choked up.
Keigo’s hand was on his length, rubbing slowly, saying something that didn’t reach your ears.
The scene changed.
Something was shoved down your throat, warm and twitching. You were sobbing, choking, clawing at whatever was in front of you. A dark laugh filled your ears, and you opened your eyes, met with the clenching abs of a strong stomach.
Keigo was brushing your tears, no, smudging them over your face. Were you wearing makeup? His cock was sitting in your throat, his hips moving in tiny jerks, stabbing your esophagus, making you gag.
Then you were back in the present.
A hand was holding your arm, keeping you from falling and making contact with the hard floor.
“-N)? (Y/N)? Are you okay? Talk to me birdie”
You made a panicked noise, pulling yourself out of Keigo’s grip so fast that you fell flat on the floor, scrambling backwards away from the man.
He almost looked scared, confused as he followed after you, holding out his hands. “(Y/N), you gotta calm down, you’re gonna make yourself sick.”
The man reached for your arm again and you pressed yourself against the floor, screeching out a loud “No!!” before he could touch you. Keigo paused, looking at his hand, then at you. “Hey, hey, I’m not gonna touch you. It’s okay little birdie, you’re alright.” He cooed, sinking to his knees in front of you.
You were hyperventilating, wide eyes trained on Keigo. Your thoughts were swirling in your head, you couldn’t focus, the sensations of the future still echoing through your body.
Keigo crouched there while you steadied your breathing, talking to you the entire time, trying to help you relax and calm down. You weren’t sure what he was saying, something about the weather? Or a dog? But you could feel your breathing evening out, head clearing.
“Hey, she fall?” You friend was carrying two bags, crouching down beside Keigo, cocking her head at you.
Her boyfriend nodded, turning to her and taking one of the bags. “I caught her, but then she freaked out and fell for real.”
Your friend nodded. “I should’ve told you earlier, she has a touch-based quirk. Every time someone touches her, she sees snippets of her future with that person.”
Keigo cocked his own head, gazing at you curiously. “I guess her future with me isn’t too positive then?”
Your friend shrugged. “Eh, she just hates seeing parts of the future. She doesn’t want to know what’s going to happen, makes her worry or something like that. Don’t take it too personally, she’s like that with everyone.”
“It-it-“ you rasped out, causing both sets of eyes to swivel towards you. “-I hate it... because-‘cause I can’t ever cha-change it.” You shivered.
Keigo nodded in understanding, before rising to his feet. “Think you can walk to my car? I’ll drive you two home, I think you’d benefit from some rest.”
He dropped you off at your apartment, and you wearily waved at the couple as they drove off, before heading inside.
----
A week passed, then two.
The visions you had concerning Keigo were plaguing your mind, filling your body with anxiety. There had been a distinctive feel of fear during each one, and despite all the other various sensations felt, the most overwhelming had been distress.
Whatever was going to happen, you weren’t going to like it.
You were holing up in your apartment, ignoring your roommates when they knocked on your door, only leaving your room to eat or grab water. You couldn’t sleep, too scared you’d have dreams, or more accurately, nightmares of what you had seen.
Curse your quirk.
Trying to pass time, desperate to keep your mind off of the future, you threw yourself into any activity you could find.
First you tried coloring - it was supposed to be relaxing, but it gave you too much time to think.
Then you tried gaming, spending hours in front of your computer mashing the keys. That worked for a bit, but your eyes and head soon protested.
You listened to music at full volume, tried several workout videos, even resorted to cleaning your space with fervent energy.
None of it took your mind off the inevitable.
“(Y/N), someone’s at the door asking for you.” You jerked awake, slumped over uncomfortably on the floor, the half finished card tower in front of you promptly knocked over at your erratic movements.
“(Y/N)?” Your roommate called again.
“Yeah! Coming, sorry.” You mumbled, scrubbing sleep from your eyes. You guess your body would give out sometime and force you to fall asleep, but as you moved to stand, you sorely wished your body had chosen a more comfortable place to pass out.
Opening the front door, you immediately took a cautious step back, sleepy demeanor vanishing.
Keigo smiled at you, one hand in the pocket of his jeans, the other holding a bouquet of flowers.
Flowers?
“Hey birdie, mind if I come in?”
You stared at him for a second, immediately on guard. Why did he have flowers? Why did he want to come in? Wasn’t he dating your friend? She didn’t live here, what was he doing here?
The man cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at you. You moved to the side, holding open the door for Keigo to come inside.
Your roommates were home. If anything happened, they would be within earshot.
Keigo shot you a smile and a thanks, before immediately moving into the small living room, taking a seat on the couch. When he saw you still hovering by the open door, he patted the cushion beside him.
“Come sit, I promise I don’t bite.” He thought for a moment, before grinning. “Well, not unless you want me to.”
Hesitantly, you shut the front door, going to sit in a ratty armchair further away from the winged man. If this bothered him, the man didn’t let it show other than a short pause before he spoke.
“So, I know it probably seems like, super weird for me to show up at your apartment, but hear me out.”
Flowers were shoved in your lap, Keigo taking great care to avoid touching you.  “I felt bad about the other day, and my girl and I decided that we should get you some flowers. She picked ‘em out, it even says so on the note.”  The man laughed, running a hand through his hair.
“She’s so uptight about this kinda stuff. Anyways, just wanted to say that I’m sorry for grabbing you like that. If I had known, I would’ve let you fall flat on your ass. But I know now, so I’ll be better, cool with you?”
Finishing his little speech, Keigo held out his hands, wings stretching behind him to mimic the gesture.
Looking at the flowers in your lap, you felt your hands shaking. Picking up the little note attached to the bouquet, you found that your friend had indeed picked out the flowers, which made sense. They were your favorites, and in a nice color too.  Keigo had left a messy, scrawled “Sorry!” in one corner, before signing by his girlfriends name.
“Um, thank you Keigo, you didn’t have to apologize.” You murmured, rubbing one of the flower petals between your fingers. You were so glad your quirk extended solely to humans - if you were shown glimpses of the future of everything you touched, you would most likely go mad.
“Nah, I wanted to. Also wanted to swing by, check how you’re doing. You been taking care of yourself?” He relaxed on the couch, legs spread, arms resting behind his head. This wasn’t his home, yet you totally could believe that it was by the ease with which he owned the space with his presence.
“Oh, well… I’m still here, so…” You shrugged.
Keigo frowned. “That’s not a fun answer. How much sleep you been gettin’ each night? Eight hours?”
You shook your head, huffing out a breath in place of a laugh.
Keigo clicked his tongue. “No sleep? That’s bad for you y’know. Have you at least been drinking water? Eatin’?”
You nodded quickly, looking up to meet the man’s gaze. “I’m not a kid. I appreciate your concern, but it’s not necessary.”
At this point, you think the best thing for your health would be for the man to leave.
The blonde man stared at you for a moment, before sighing. “Alright, I get it. But I don’t want to hear that you’ve passed out or something, got it? Your friend would kill me.”
He rose to his feet, and so did you, walking him to the door. “Thanks Keigo, and thank you again for the flowers. That was very sweet of you both.”
Keigo beamed, giving a two fingered salute. “You deserve it birdie. Well, have a good rest of your day, yeah? Eat something.”
You smiled, at Keigo as he turned away, beginning to whistle as he strolled down the hall.
Once the door was shut, you found a vase for the flowers, filling it with water and setting it on the table. Your roommates would think it was pretty, and it was, a nice little centerpiece.
That really was nice of your friend and Keigo to offer you flowers.
——
“Welcome to Gold Nile Jewelers, how can I-“ You blinked at the man entering the shop. “-Keigo.”
“Birdie? You work here?” He looked just as confused as you felt, cocking his head to the side as he approached the counter.
You looked around the small display room, nodding your head. “Yep… You looking for anything specific today?”
“Ah, right!” He clasped his hands together, bending over to lean on the display counter as he looked up at you. “So professional (Y/N), it’s just me.” The man chuckled.
“Actually, I thought I’d get my girl a cute little bracelet or something like that, you think she’d like that?”
Knowing your friend, she’d be ecstactic. “Oh, absolutely. Any particular occasion, or just an “I love you gift”?” You asked, already running through the list of bracelets in stock.
“It’s our two month anniversary in another week, thought I’d get her a little sumn’ sumn’, y’know?”
Gold Nile Jewelers was an expensive store. You patted yourself on the back for not dropping your jaw when he said “two month anniversary”. People came here for wedding rings and special occasion jewelry, not monthly anniversaries like some high schoolers.
Well, unless they were rich.
You showed Keigo the selection of bracelets currently available, the man listening quietly to your product descriptions and recommendations, asking questions about the fit and feel, and if you think your friend would like a particular one.
“Honestly Keigo, I could choose one I think she’d like, but it’d be more special if you chose for her.” You finally told him.  He wasn’t annoying you, but you felt frustrated with his apparent lack of knowledge about his girlfriend. How did he not know what her favorite color was? “I’d suggest coming back in a few days. Go home, see what kind of jewelry she wears, pay attention to the colors she gravitates towards, if she’s allergic to any metals.”
Keigo tapped his chin. “Hmm, you have a good point. I guess I should pay more attention to those kinds of things.”
You nodded as you began to pack the expensive bracelets back into their display cases. “Gifts for a significant other can be hard. Honestly, it means a lot if they pick it out themselves and surprise you with it. Makes it special.”
“Oh, you have a partner?” Keigo asked, bright eyes watching your hands work.
A frown almost crossed your features, but you stopped it before it could show. “Ah, sorry, that’s not really a work-appropriate question.”
“Awh, c’mon! It’s just me, we’re friends, can’t you tell me?” Keigo pouted, batting his eyelashes at you in an exaggerated, dramatic fashion. The display made you laugh, so you indulged him. After all, he was a friend. No harm in telling him something he was bond to know sooner or later.
“I’m actually single right now. But as a jeweler sale associate, I know how much it means to a person when their partner picks out a gift for them, especially if it’s a surprise.”
Keigo nodded his head solemnly.  “That makes sense. I better follow your advice then eh? Find out what she likes-“ he mused “-I can do that.”
“Good luck Keigo!” You called after him as he strolled through the door, waving when he smiled at you, giving that same, goofy two fingered salute that he always did when saying goodbye.
The man unnerved you, the visions you had experienced concerning him making you worry. But as long as he was dating your friend, you felt that you’d be fine.
-----
Keigo showed up again two days later.
“Back so soon?”
“You know me-“ He shook out his umbrella, placing it in the drip-bin by the door, wiping his shoes on the mat. “I always try to be speedy with my work.”
It was grey outside, drizzling slightly. You loved these kinds of days, where you could sit near a window and watch it rain while sipping tea. It was so peaceful and calm, and always soothed your stress.
“Find out anything useful?” Whatever he could tell you would make it easier to refine the jewelry selection for his particular needs.
“So, she doesn’t have any bracelets, and I asked her about why and she said they annoy her. She likes necklaces.” He clarified,. You could tell by the way he puffed up that he felt proud of his detective skills. “I even made a note of the lengths - she likes ones that dip low, which-“ He wolf whistled, and your stomach turned. But it was fine, just awkward.
“Alright, I think we have quite a few like that. Let me collect them for you and lay them out.”
Keigo strolled around the display room while you bustled about, looking in each case at the shiny metals and stones  
You laid out the necklaces, calling Keigo over. The man smiled brightly at you as you showed him the selection, noticing he was gravitating towards the more simply, elegant choices.
“I’m sure she would be thrilled with any of these.” You offered, Keigo silent as he tried to decide between two necklaces.
Still, the man shook his head, quirking his lips. “I just…. I need to see them on, y’know?” Then he brightened, as if he had just thought of something. “Hey, can you try them on? Model one for me? Just to see what it’d look like.”
You laughed nervously. “Sorry Keigo, but I’m not allowed to do that, it’s against company policy. Only customers get to try on the jewelry, and that’s if they’re supervised.”
“Awh, c’mon! No one else is here, and I won’t tell.” The man leaned forward, shooting you a quick wink before he snatched up one of the necklaces, holding it out towards you. “Please? I just need to see it. I promise I’ll buy it.”
He was so insistent, and no matter how loud the alarm bells were wringing in your head, you felt cowed by his confidence.
“Um, still… I don’t think it’s allowed-“
“Fuck what’s allowed-“ He cut you off, snorting. “-I want to see what it looks like. It’s just me (Y/N), I’m not gonna snitch.”
A heavy sigh, and you finally agreed, taking the necklace from his nimble fingers.  You slung it around your neck, not fastening the back as you held it in place. Hopefully that would be enough to sate Keigo’s curiosity.
His eyes immediately followed the curve of the necklace, how it dipped low towards your cleavage (curse you for wearing a lower-cut shirt today). You tried to ignore the leering.
“Here, let me help you fasten it, doesn’t look right otherwise.”
Before you could protest, he was sliding behind you, deft hands reaching for the necklace your had in your grasp.
“Keigo no-!”
But it was too late.
You were pressed up against a wall, face-first, your hands gathered into the small of your back and held there with a vice-like grip. There was pressure between your legs, something hammering into you, in and out, in and out, in and out.
Keigo was talking to you, you could tell it was the man by his voice. What was he saying? You were too overwhelmed with the sensation between your legs to focus on the words falling from his lips.
Sweat dripped from your temples, Keigo’s chest pressed up against your back was slick with perspiration, his nipples hard and pressing into your skin. It was an uncomfortable situation-
And then it changed.
You were tied up now, tight enough that you couldn’t move no matter how you thrashed. Knees bound in such a way so your ass was up in the air, arms stretched out in front of you, anchored to the headboard of the bed.
Keigo was behind you again - nothing to indicate that the tongue running through your core was his, but somehow, you knew.
You were begging and pleading, withing in your restraints against his tongue, but he wouldn’t let up, he wouldn’t let you crest the mountain that had built up inside. He kept chuckling, the vibrations running through you and making you buck your hips. You felt disgusting.
Then the bed was gone, and Keigo was in front of you. He was sitting in an office chair, your legs straddling his lap. Hands on your hips were dragging you back and forth, grinding you on the hard member protruding from Keigo’s lap. He was flushed, letting out little moans as he kept eye contact with you, smiling and praising you.
Then you were back.
Gasping, you shot away from Keigo, the expensive necklace clattering to the ground as it fell from your hands.
The man froze, confusion etched across his features as he watched you bend over, trying to catch your breath, to calm down, to ignore the lingering sensations from the futuristic visions.
“(Y/N)…”
“I think-I think you should leave.” You heaved, tears building. That had been awful, everything had felt good but you hadn’t. You felt uncomfortable and disrespected and stupid. That couldn’t be your future with Keigo, you wouldn’t be able to handle that. He was your friend’s boyfriend, for goodness sake!
Keigo opened his mouth to say something, but you snapped at him “Leave.”, making the man click his jaw shut.
He walked out the door, shooting you concerned glances the entire way.
You felt better as soon as he was gone, the door clicking shut after him. Thankfully, you were the only employee out front at the moment, and no other customers were present, so no one but you and Keigo had experienced your outburst.
Bending down to pick up the necklace, you inspected it carefully, horrified that you had dropped such an expensive item. It was alright though, so you brought it back to the others, shakily beginning to gather them up to put away.
You didn’t want to see Keigo again.
——-
“I just don’t understand!”
Your friend sobbed, surrounded by tissues on your bed, eyes red and blotchy.  You wished you could rub her back, our give her a hug, but you knew what would happen. So you stayed on the floor, passing up tissues and offering wordless sympathy.
“Why would he break up with me? Why?”
You shrugged, looking for words. “I don’t know… I’m sorry that this happened, but if he can’t see how awesome you are, then he’s an idiot.”
She sniffed, blowing her nose. You could tell she wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t say anything further, instead choosing to wipe her eyes.
She had called an hour or so ago, tearful, asking if she could come over. Refused to tell you what was wrong, but the second you let her in, she had burst into tears, explaining everything.
Keigo had broken up with her via text, that asshole.
“I just…. I thought we were good. Did I do something wrong? I just don’t get it.”
“Neither do I. You said he just texted you out of the blue?”
She nodded her head, going to blow her nose again. “We were supposed to go out for dinner tomorrow, it’s our two month anniversary.”
You cringed. Did your encounter with Keigo in the jewelry store have something to do with this? Had you driven your friend’s boyfriend away? Had you weirded him out? Oh god, what if this was all your fault?
Your friend broke down into a sob again, slumping onto your bed. You passed her another tissue. “It’ll be okay. I think he’s a stupid fucker that just wanted to play with your heart.  He isn’t worth shit. You deserve so much better than him.”
She nodded, blotchy eyes seeking out your own. In the back of your mind, you cringed, seeing the exact same scene from your vision. Well, at least the two of you hadn’t gotten in a fight.
——-
A few weeks later, Keigo was at your door.
“You need to leave. Now.”
“Aw, c’mon (Y/N), at least hear me out?”
You huffed, crossing your arms. Maybe he had a dumb explanation for why he had dumped your friend. You were wary of him accidentally touching you again though. “Fine, but make it quick.”
“No promises.” He grinned, breezing past you and into your apartment. He beelined for the chair you had sat in last time he was here, leaving you to take a seat on the couch.
“Alright-“ He settled in, fixing you with a gleeful eye. “How do you feel about your quirk?”
Caught off guard, you blinked. Wasn’t he going to explain why he had broken your friend’s heart? “Um, what?”
“Your quirk, y’know, the one that makes you see the future?” He leaned forward, rubbing his hands together with a smile. He seemed far too pleased, and it made you nervous.
“I hate it. If I could get rid of it, I would.” You stated, ready to move onto a different topic. But just as you were about to ask him about your friend, he rose to his feet, fishing in his pockets.
He drew out a bracelet, black and red, thin. “Well then, lookie what I have.” The man walked over, sitting down quickly on the couch next to you, causing you to immediately scoot to the end. You didn’t want him touching you.
“Oh, sorry.” He apologized upon noticing your unease. Instead of scooting closer, he simply tossed the bracelet onto your lap, leaning back as he watched you look at it curiously. “Put it on, see how it fits.”
“I don’t need jewelry Keigo, and I think we should be spending our time discussing why you bro-“
“Just put it on (Y/N), please? I promise you won’t regret it.”
Huffing, you did as he asked, clasping the bracelet around your wrist. It fit snug, almost too tight, but it hugged your wrist comfortingly. It was pretty, but you didn’t see what this had to do with your quirk, or with your friend, or anything that held any relevancy.
Bracelet now on, you fixed Keigo with a blank stare. “Happy?”
“I don’t know.” Keigo grinned. “Are you?” And then he was hugging you, arms wrapped around your shoulders, face buried in your neck.
You shrieked, already panicking as you tried to ready yourself for the onslaught of  visions that accompanied physical touch.
They never came.
Choking back a surprised gasp, you drew back from his hug to find Keigo’s eyes, the man smiling down at you as he watched your reaction.
“Kei-Keigo…” You stuttered, shocked, surprised, euphoric, confused - so many emotions, all at once. You couldn’t even think to brush off the hands still around your shoulders, thumbs brushing at the tops of your exposed collarbones by the neck of your shirt.
You weren’t able to think rationally, couldn’t focus on anything but the awe you felt at being touched without being slammed with visions of the future.
You forgot about the terrifying visions you had gotten when Keigo touched you.
You forgot about how he had hurt your friend, broke her heart with no explanation.
You forgot about his hands refusing to leave your body.
“Keigo, this is…. Amazing” You breathed, wide eyes snapping up, catching his smiling face, eyes crinkly and twinkly.
“I had my team modify some quirk-cancelling cuffs! You seemed so upset whenever someone touched you, I couldn’t leave you with such a burden.”
Nodding, you returned your gaze to the bracelet, turning your wrist this way and that to look at the bracelet from different angles.
“I mean, I know how much I like being touched, and touching. I think I’d totally die if I couldn’t.” Keigo chuckled, but you weren’t listening.
The rest of his time sitting next to you on the couch was spent explaining the colors he had spent so long picking (“They’re my personal favorite, aren’t they nice?”) and why he had decided on a bracelet (“It could’ve been a necklace, but I think it looks better in it’s original cuff design, looks cooler that way.”).
By the time he had to leave, you were completely sidetracked, so distracted with your shiny new jewelry that you didn’t even remember to ask what his deal was with being a jerk to your friend, his now ex-girlfriend.
-----
“-and then he gave me the bracelet. I wasn’t thinking much after that, I just… I can hug you, isn’t that incredible?”
You gave your friend another squeeze, feeling a smile dance across your face. But then you sobered, pulling back from her with your hands on her shoulders, quickly becoming serious.
“But he’s really starting to kind of weird me out. Why won’t he explain why he broke up with you? He’s being a little bitch. I tried asking him a couple times, but he kept cutting me off, and I feel like the bracelet was a distraction to stop me from busting his chops about his behavior towards you.”
Your friend looked sad for a second, before shrugging. “I dunno, he just said things weren’t working out, and that while he liked me, he’s not ready for a relationship right now ‘cause of where he’s at in his life.”
“Psh-“ You scoffed, going in for another comforting squeeze for your friend. “-that’s code for “I’m a fuckboy and want to sleep around”.”
“I know….. But it still hurts.” You friend sighed, wrapping her arms around your neck. “But at least he gave you that quirk thing. I’ve never seen you so happy.”
“I just wish he was a mildly decent person.” You grumbled, detaching from the hug to sit back, glaring at the ceiling. “He gives me the fucking creeps.”
“How so?” You friend locked her head to the side, throwing her arm over the back of the couch. You had called her over the second Keigo had left, finally gathering your wits about you.
“I dunno…” You shrugged, not quite ready to tell her about the disturbing visions containing him. Did that have something to do with their breakup? Was it your fault? What was going to happen with Keigo? It honestly scared you, the residual feelings and sensations you could remember from the visions.
Your friend nodded understandingly. “Some people just give off those vibes. Well, at least we don’t ever have to see him again. Good riddance I say.”
You agreed.
——-
Knocking on the door, you shuffled your feet as you took in the house.
It was one of those rich places - nice neighborhood, fancy street filled with lavish houses, expensive cars. You felt slightly out of place, shifting from foot to foot in your clearance-rack clothes.
The door swung open, revealing a sleepy Keigo, shirtless, clad in nothing but sweatpants.
“Oh, um-“ You quickly turned, averting your eyes, trying to give the man privacy in case he hadn’t realized he was shirtless. It looked like he had just woken up from a nap, eyes blinking owlishly, hair mussed.
“Hey (Y/N), come on in.”
Still keeping your eyes turned away, you stepped inside the opulent house, trying not to gape too much at the decor inside. You didn’t want to look like a complete peasant in front of Keigo, but he’d already been to your house, so you could imagine that he knew of your poor-ness.
“Something wrong? You can look at me y’know, I’m not gonna turn you to stone or something.” Keigo joked, voice entirely too close for comfort.
Head whipping around, you found that he was too close, practically almost touching you as he stood beside you, head cocked as he watched you.
“No… nothings wrong, you’re just…” You gestured to his torso, and Keigo looked down in confusion, before looking back at you, a grin on his face.
“Ah, just woke up.” He shrugged, before reaching out to touch your arm. “Bracelet still keeping that quirk at bay?”
You nodding, following the blonde as he turned and walked further into his house, towards the kitchen.
“Glad to hear! I just wanted to look at it a bit, make sure nothing’s worn or torn, y’know? Hate for you to have to deal with the no-touching thing again.” He said over his shoulder, gesturing for you to sit down at the island, on one of the barstools.
You did so, watching the man open his fridge, take out a carton of milk, uncap it. “Is it too tight?”
“Nope.”
He drank right out of the bottle, and you watched some dribble out of the corner of his mouth, down his chin. The man finished gulping down the milk, taking the bottle away from his lips to swipe at the white trail of liquid rolling down his chin.
Eyes dark, he made contact with your own eyes as he cleaned his chin with a finger, stuffing it in his mouth to suck it clean.
That was gross.
The next second, he was back to normal, cheerfully putting the milk back into the fridge. “Good, good. Now, mind if I take a look at it? You should keep it on though.”
You nodded, and Keigo straightened, walking around the island to sit next to you, shuffling his stool closer.
He grabbed your wrist, laying it out on the island, before beginning to poke at the bracelet, running his fingers over it, fiddling with it, squeezing the tendons in your hand, smoothing his hand up your arm.
It felt a bit intrusive.
“So the visions are all blocked?”
“Yep.”
“And you can touch and be touched?”
“Yeah.”
“How’s your appetite? Sometimes complete quirk suppression can make you lose your appetite.”
“It’s been normal, I guess I’m a little hungrier than normal, but I’ve been getting out more too, not as afraid of crowds.”
“Nice! And how about your libido?”
You spluttered, choking on your own spit, snatching your hand away from Keigo’s wandering touches.
“Excuse me? That’s a bit personal, thanks.”
Keigo shrugged, bright eyes hooded and lazy. “It’s just a question.”
“Are you done making sure it’s all good? No broken parts?” You changed the subject, narrowing your eyes. You can’t believe your friend had ever dated him, that you had ever thought he was anything but a playboy.
You wouldn’t even be here, in his house, but he had come into the jewelers a while back (both you and your friend had blocked his number), spouting something about your bracelet needing constant checks and maintenance in order to keep suppressing your quirk. (“Wouldn’t want it to stop working, right? Just stop by sometimes, here’s my address.”).
So here you were.
Keigo leaned back a little, raising an eyebrow at your irritated tone of voice. “Woah there, don’t get snippy. I’m doing you a favor, right? I’m not trying to hurt you or something.”
Technically, you guess he was right. But he had played your friend, had fucked with her feelings. He was a fuckboy, liked messing with each and every girl he could find, and you didn’t care to be one of them.
“And I appreciate that Keigo. But I like to keep my private life private.”
Keigo was silent, simply holding out a hand for you to place your arm in, so he could fiddle more with the bracelet.
Several moments of awkward silence passed before he spoke again. “You’re being awfully ungrateful. It makes me think you don’t even want this little gift. If I were you, I’d be doing everything I could to show the person kind enough to do such a thing for me how thankful I was.”
Lost for words, you stared at the man. Was he expecting some sort of award? Some sort of prize? It’s not like you had anything to give him.
“I don’t have anything to give you in thanks. Just my words, which I’ve said plenty of. I didn’t ask you to make this for me.” You pointed out.
“Sure, but you use it, don’t you? You wouldn’t like it if I took it away, right? Think about how miserable your life was before I gave you this.”
Your life had been miserable. Afraid to go out in crowds, afraid to leave the house, Nervous about grocery shopping, about paying and having the cashier touch your hand as they handed over the change.
Scared of public transportation, of coffeeshops and bookstores, of public parks, even your own home. What if one of your roommates forgot and touched you? Or accidentally bumped into you?
Plus, you could hug now, and shake hands, and slap your friends back when she told a horrible joke, or tap her when you wanted her attention.
You didn’t want to go back to before. “I’m sorry Keigo… I really do think it’s lovely, and I can never thank you enough for doing this for me.”
Keigo let go of your arm, and it swung back to your side. You could feel the man looking at you.
“You know what would let me know that you mean it?”
God, it better not be something sexual.
“You could buy me coffee. Or maybe a cookie from that bakery on 1st Avenue, you know the one? With the little bunny pastries?”
That surprised you.
“You go there? That’s my favorite place.” You mused, looking at Keigo in surprise. He didn’t seem the kind of guy who’d like a place like that. But appearances could be deceiving.
“Of course! I really like their stuff.”
“Alright,” You conceded, rising to your feet. “I’ll get you some stuff from there. Want it today?”
Keigo rose to his feet as well, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “Yeah! Let me get dressed real quick, and then I’ll go with you. Don’t go anywhere birdie.” He shot you a wink, before sauntering past you, out of the kitchen.  You raised a brow, surprised. He meant to go with you?
“Make yourself at home while you wait, don’t be afraid to kick up your feet!”  
——-
The bakery smelled as lovely as usual.
A warm atmosphere, good food, friendly employees. It was your favorite place for a reason.
“Alright, what do you want?” You asked Keigo, the two of you staring up at the menu.
“Hmm, I don’t know. What are you going to get?”
“Probably a muffin, those are my favorite.”
“What!?! That’s my favorite too! How crazy.” Keigo smiled at you, dimples showing. You got the feeling that he was brown-nosing you, but you kept the thought to yourself, striding up to the counter to order.
Muffins purchased, you approached Keigo, who was lounging by one of the display cases, admiring the delicate, mouthwatering masterpieces held within.
“All good to go?” His smile was so charming, so friendly, you almost caught yourself wanting to see it more. Huffing in irritation at yourself, you pushed past him, shoving the bag with his muffin into his chest.
“Here’s your stuff. I’m going home now, see you around.”
“Wait!” Keigo turned, jogging a little to catch up as you exited the bakery. “We gotta eat these before they get cold - hey, birdie, are you listening to me?“
You weren’t, stoically keeping your head turned forward, walking with determination. There was only so much of Keigo that you could tolerate, and you had reached your limit. He was starting to really annoy you, didn’t he get that you wanted to go home? You’ll just eat your muffin on the subway, it’s not that hard.
“(Y/N)-“ His sudden growl was punctuated by an arm on your shoulder, spinning you around and pulling you towards the man.
“Hey-!” The sudden collision of your face with his chest knocked your breath away, almost causing you to drop your own muffin in the process.
When you managed to gather yourself, you shot a glare up at Keigo’s face, only to find the blonde smirking down at you, a fierce glint in his eyes.
“I expect you to listen when I’m talking, got it? I don’t like being ignored.”
That’s evident.
You tried to back away, but he still had a hand on your shoulder, squeezing you tight to him. “Keigo! Let me go, you stupid idiot-“
“Stop it, I’m not doing anything to you, ya big baby.” He cooed down at you, before taking his hand away, letting you stumble backwards.
He was just messing with you, teasing you. It was obvious, yet still you allowed him to be around you.
“Alright, I’m sorry, I know all the touching’s gotta be new still. Wanna go eat these in the park? I’ll buy you some ice cream if you want.”
“I don’t want ice cream, I want to go home.”
Keigo frowned, walking after you when you turned on your heel, heading for the subway. “Why do you dislike me so much? I’ve done so much to help you, and yet you spit in my face. Your parents ever teach you how to be grateful? Or even respectful?”
You gasped at his accusation, stopping in your tracks to whirl around, only to find the man far closer than what you had expected. Still, you tried to hide your surprise at his proximity, jabbing a finger in his direction.
“You are a playboy, you broke my friend’s heart, and you want to sleep with every single person you come across just to mess with their feelings. I don’t want to be around you. I won’t get dragged into that.”
The man watched you, face solemn and contemplative. “Is that really how you see me?”
“Why would I say any of that unless it was true?”
He ran a hand through his hair, looking up and around, as if gathering his bearings, before back down at you.
“Have you ever considered that I’m the one getting my heart broken?”
“Yeah right-“ You scoffed, only for Keigo to cut you off.
“People want to sleep with me because they think it’ll get them something that they want. Fifteen second fame, a piece in a tabloid about my “new lover”…. Think it’ll help them further their career, or that I’ll give them money. I can’t find anyone real.
“And my friend wasn’t real enough for you?” You spat, not believing him for a second.
“Nope.  You think she liked me for who I am?”
“Uh, yeah? She gushed to me all the damn time about how good you were, how she felt about you. That girl held nothing but love and affection for you.”
The man snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure, love for my wallet.”
“She’s not like that.” You argued, brows furrowing.
“Really? Cause she was sucking me dry, and not even in a sexy way.”
You crinkled your nose at what he was implying. Your friend wasn’t like that, she truly had felt for Keigo, had liked him as her boyfriend. She wasn’t just a leech.
“I’m done talking about my failed love life.” Keigo said lowly, nudging your shoulder. “I just thought two friends could hangout, but it seems like you think all I do is try and fuck people.”
“No, Kiego…. That’s not what I meant.” Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, but right now…. You almost felt a twinge of sympathy for him.
Some of what he was saying made sense, how people would try and use him for various reasons. But that still didn’t explain his sudden and harsh breakup with your friend. And over text no less, a complete douche move!
But you felt bad about his words, about how he seemed to actually want to hangout, and yet you were accusing him of trying to sleep with you. But what about those visions you had had? Was that even how they went? Or were you remembering falsely based on your bias towards the man?
And what about his suggestive touches, his leering gaze? Was that maybe just how he always was, and it wasn’t exclusive to you? Were you inflating your place in his life, thinking that he wanted you?
It was confusing, and you didn’t want to think about it, try and untangle the lies from the truth. Right now, you just wanted to eat your muffin.
“If you really didn’t mean it, then can we go eat these in the park? I just want to chill with someone that isn’t trying to gain something from me. I want to spend time with someone that’s real.”
With a half-irritated sigh, you nodded, hoping you wouldn’t regret hanging out with the obnoxious man.
-----
He kept calling you, texting you. You’d had to unblock his number at some point, in order for him to text you about the bracelet and when he needed to look at it.
“Come overrrrr, I’m bored!”
“Birdie, are you hungry? The delivery place gave me extra Torikatsu and I don’t want it to go bad. Can I come drop it off?”
He’d swing by the jewelers, leaning over the counter to talk to you about a recent shoot he’d booked, or something he saw recently.
Keigo seemed to slowly insert himself into every facet of your live, against your will, ignoring every subtle, irritated attempt of yours to turn him away. Every single time you saw him, your mind would inevitably think of the visions, but you felt like you couldn’t trust yourself with those anymore.
The man assured you at every step, he had no romantic feelings for you, he just wanted a friend, someone to put him in his place, be honest with him.
You definitely were honest.
Snapping at him when he showed up at your apartment uninvited, coming up behind you on the street and grabbing your sides, laughing when you shrieked and tried to hit your attacker, only to realize it was Keigo.
Tearing into him when he tried to talk badly about your friend - she had been having less and less contact with you, and you couldn’t figure out why. Now your relationship with her was reduced to curt text messages. Maybe she was just going through a hard time, and wanted alone time? Still, you let her know you were there for her, whenever she needed.
You were honest when Keigo asked your opinion on food, TV shows, clothes, movies. It was almost satisfying saying something sucked, just to see Keigo’s face fall slightly, before he shook his head, whining.
“Then help me pick something out! I can’t do it without you-“
He totally could, he was just being a baby.
The more he inserted himself into your life, the more you realized that he was akin to a petulant child, just with muscles and a penchant for inappropriate touching.
Whenever he saw you, he’d try to draw you into a hug, letting his hands drop far down your back, way too low for you to feel comfortable. You’d slap them away, and Keigo would laugh, before ruffling your hair.
He’d have you come over so he could check your quirk suppressor, except he was in the middle of a show, and it was getting to the best part. (“Sit down, shhh, it’s just getting good!”) You’d have to sit through the entire thing, enduring Kiego’s hand lazily drawing shapes over your pants on your thigh, simply putting it back whenever you shoved it off.
He was insufferable, irritating to no end, but you could tell he was a lonely man, bitter about his love life and with his friendships.
So you tolerated his presence.
After all, he wasn’t trying to hurt you. That’s something he reiterated every single time you shied away from his touch. He made you feel like a fool for thinking the man was hitting on you, when he made it so clear that he wasn’t, only interested in friendship.
Until you fell asleep at his house.
Another one of those days were he needed to look at your quirk suppressor (which you were 99% sure was fine, it seemed like he just enjoyed seeing it on your wrist). He had been rummaging around in his room before he had to run and open the front door for you, talking as he walked back to return to his previous task.
Apparently he was trying to find a good shirt, seeing as how he had pants on, but his chest was bare. Keigo instructed you to sit on the bed for a second while he retreated into his massive closet, trying to find a good shirt  to go with the rest of his outfit.
His bedroom was pretty large, a full California King taking up the majority of the space, neatly made. The sheets and blankets felt soft beneath your fingers as you sat on it’s edge, prepared to wait for Keigo for a bit.
The man always took his fashion very seriously - one time he’d even spent two hours trying on clothes until he’d decided on an appropriate outfit to go to the park.
So you followed your tired eyes, exhausted from work and dealing with Keigo, worrying about your friend, daily life stressors and the like.  Keigo wouldn’t mind if you laid back, right? Your feet wouldn’t be on the bed, so it’d be fine.
And it was fine, pleasant, the room the perfect temperature.
You were roughly jerked out of sleep by pressure. Pressure on your hips, pressure on your lips.
Eyes jolting open, you tried to inhale, only to find yourself unsuccessful.
Keigo was on top of you.
Panicking, your hands came to push at him, a muffled sound of protest being squeaked out from where his lips pressed against yours.
Noticing you were awake, Keigo pulled back, smiling the whole while.
“I’m not willing to wait anymore, I just gotta have you.”
His eyes were glinting, hair tousled, still shirtless. You felt goosebumps arise as you remembered the vision you had so long ago, of this exact moment.
“Wai-mmph!” His lips were on yours again, passionate and warm, moving eagerly. A wet tongue pressed at the seam of your mouth, surprising you and making you blanch, which allowed the man access.
Kiego’s tongue explored the inside of your mouth, playfully tapping your own wet muscle, encouraging you to lift it and wrestle with him.
This was too weird, this wasn’t happening, you couldn’t do this-
Biting down hard, you snapped your teeth shut on his tongue, and Keigo yelped, drawing back immediately.
“Ouch, what the fuck!?! Chill out (Y/N), geez.” His hand was dabbing at his mouth, wincing when it came in contact with his bleeding tongue. You had bitten him deep, but you weren’t focused on that right now.
“What are-what are you doing?” Your voice was breathless, disoriented. The room felt…. Dark, and suffocating, as if it was closing in on the two of you, trapping you.
Keigo looked down at you, and it was only then that you realized you had been moved to lie on the bed fully, shoes off, legs splayed. The man rested on his stomach between them, his weight pressed against your body, keeping you still.
“I told you, I can’t wait anymore. I’ve been as nice as I can, but it’s time you started paying me back for everything I’ve done for you.”
What? Paying him back-was he talking about the quirk suppressor he had gifted you? Had he been lying about his true intentions this whole time?
“That’s not right, it was a gift, you-you don’t have to pay back a gift.” You spluttered, feeling as if your chest was collapsing.
Keigo shook his head, swooping down to leave a bloody kiss on your forehead, which you cringed at, before pulling back to speak.
“Nah, it wasn’t a gift. You know how expensive it was? You were always gonna have to compensate me. Now shush, I wanna feel you-“
One of his hands grabbed your jaw, keeping your face turned towards his, pressing down until tears formed in your eyes. His lips were bloody from the bite on his tongue, tasting unmistakably like iron.
You didn’t want this.
Trying to bite him again left you with a slap to your thigh, making you cry out. Keigo huffed out a laugh against your mouth.
He detached from your lips, just to start nibbling at your jawline, elating streaks of red where his lips touched.
“God, you are so sexy. I was trying to chill, but then I came out and you were sleepin’ all cute, and I couldn’t fucking stop myself from touching.”
“Stop doing this, I can pay you with something different. I don’t wanna do this Keigo.” You whispered, on the verge of crying.
“No, I get to decide what you’ll be doing for me, it’s my bracelet-“
“It’s not, you gave it to me, please stop-“
“Shut up.” He growled sinking his teeth into the side of your neck, nipping at the skin hard enough to have you screaming. “You’re so ungrateful, where’s my thanks? I’ve done so much for you.”
“Thank you, thank you Keigo, I appreciate it all-“ You hurried out, hoping it was what he wanted to hear “But I can’t do this, please don’t make me. I wanna go home.”
“There we go, I like the sound of you thanking me. You’re going to thank me for each and every time you cum tonight, got it?”
“No, no, we can’t do this, I can’t! Get off of me, please-“
“You’ll do it, or else I’ll whip you until your flesh hangs off of you in strings.” He hissed, squeezing your jaw cruelly.
The tears in your eyes overflowed as you fell silent.
“Aw, birdie, don’t cry. I’m not gonna hurt you, I never have, right?” He waited for a second, watching your face before he pressed harder, eyes hardening “Right?“
You nodded jerkily, and Keigo came to kiss your tears away, savoring their salty taste as they rolled down your cheeks.
“Keigo, this isn’t right though, please get off me. I don’t want this-“
“You want me to take this away?” A hand caught your shaking wrist, the one that had the quirk suppressor fastened snugly around it, wrenching it up so both of you could see it. “Huh? Put you back where you were in your miserable little life? Running away from everyone, holing up in your apartment, not willing to touch or be touched…”
The very thought made your insides churn, and a fresh round of tears rolled down your face as you shook your head no, lips wobbling as you whined. You felt so pathetic, so small and dumb underneath Keigo.
“That’s what I thought. You’re going to relax now, right? No more begging unless it’s for more.”
He didn’t wait for an answer, beginning to shuffle around until he could slide his hands under your shirt, pressing against your tummy as you flinched away.
“Don’t worry birdie, you’re gonna like every single thing we’re gonna do. You’ve had sex now, yeah? Since I gave you the bracelet?”
You shook your head “no”, it’s not like you were eager for sex before you got it, and all the touching-without-terrifying-visions thing was still new to you, the dating world was being eased into. Somehow though, every single date seemed to be crashed by the man on top of you.
Keigo lit up like a Christmas tree, licking his lips gleefully. “Okay, okay, I can-whew, that’s hot-I can be gentle.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you, his hands skirting up your ribs, shucking up your shirt as the traveled higher and higher.
“Keigo please-“
“Don’t you dare say stop, I’m not gonna. You’re the first person that doesn’t want anything from me, you’re real, and I’m not stopping.”
His admission made you cringe, recoiling from his touch. He followed you, palms finally smoothing over your breasts, over your bra.
“You’re going to do what I say, or else this-“ Your wrist was wrenched into view, red-and-black bracelet glittering. “-gets removed. And I’ll still do whatever the fuck I want, but you’ll be off in your mind having visions of who-knows-what while I have my way. Got it?”
Your blood chilled, body suddenly feeling ice cold. His tone was dead serious, spitting out the words with a sense of finality.
“So, just lay there and take it birdie, I’ll be good to you.”
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sarah-bae-maas · 3 years
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Gwyn wants to explore, and Azriel needs a friend - a Gwynriel fic - Part 1
In honour of this blog turning five years old, I thought I would treat you all to a two part/chapter Gwynriel fic that has been wandering around in my brain throughout countless days of lockdown and tortuous university classes. 
I’m already well underway with part 2 of this fic, but I do have some assignments coming up, so expect it within the fortnight! 
So please do enjoy this nearly 15k words worth of Gwynriel goodness <3
Masterlist Ao3
_____________
She was staring at him.
Again.
Azriel had always paid special attention to Gwyn – not that he would tell her that, of course. It was a secret held deep in his shadows that she was his favourite Valkyrie, the one he thought the most brave and resilient. It would not be an unpopular opinion if he did share it, the other women looked at her with great admiration, and Nesta often sung her praises when the female wasn’t there to refute her words. But Azriel knew the presumptions people might make if they knew he thought it, and the last thing he wanted was for a misunderstanding to make Gwyn uncomfortable.
Gwyn was holding a bag for Emerie to kick, her stance strong enough that she didn’t flinch at all with each pummel. Her focus should have been on Emerie’s form, but rather her teal eyes were glued to him. Every time Azriel looked over at her, she quickly shifted her gaze to her friend, but his shadows constantly reminded him that Gwyn was once again paying her attention to him.
Cassian called the end of the session. Azriel was grateful, he was finding it harder and harder to train the women effectively when he knew Gwyn was right there.
He practically fled the scene, his cheeks brushed with red, barely nodding to the women who said their thanks to him as he passed. It’s not that he didn’t like her attention, but it made his stomach feel heavy, his hands shake, and he didn’t like how out of control he felt whenever she looked at him like that.
He settled in the dining room. Standing, he braced his hands on the table, a bead of sweat dripping off his forehead and tarnishing the wood. Nesta wouldn’t like if he got his sweat all over the table, even though her and Cassian had coated it in far more scandalous bodily fluids. He should do something productive, like work or eat or pester Rhys and Feyre to have Nyx for the afternoon, but instead he chose to close his eyes and picture the person who’d been haunting him.
He and Gwyn were friends. She was over nearly every night to eat with Nesta, their dinners a sort of lively Azriel hadn’t experienced since he’d lived in Illyria with Rhys and Cas. It was joyful to live in a space filled with such light, but also overwhelming. Azriel found that as much as he loved the time with the rag-tag team they’d made for themselves, his social timer still clicked in his mind as a constant reminder that sometimes dealing with people, even the ones you loved, could be utterly exhausting.
Not with Gwyn though, his shadows lamented, setting him straight. No, Azriel never felt tired with her.
“Az?”
As though his thoughts alone had summoned her, Gwyn’s voice startled him out of his reverie. He turned, his lips parting slightly at the sight of her.
She was still in her training gear – a shirt and pants lovingly stitched by Emerie with embroidered flowers decorating the seams – her neat braid falling around her face, framing her pearlescent skin in fire.
“Gwyneth. Do you need something?”
Her eyes were wide, her hands clasped in front of her as she wrung her fingers. It made Azriel tilt his head in confusion, not understanding why she was so nervous. They spoke every day, she mouthed off at him often, and her shift in confidence had him surprised.
“I have a proposition for you, but you must promise to not tell a soul.”
Azriel raised a brow, leaning back into the table. He spread his hands before him. “I’m listening.”
Gwyn swallowed, her cheeks turning the same shade of red as her hair.
“Imsturbalt,” she squeaked.
“What?”
“I masturbate a lot!” She smacked her hands over her mouth, as if betrayed at the words they spilled.
Azriel’s jaw went slack, his eyes near bugging from his skull. “Okay… that’s good? Self-exploration!” He half-heartedly waved a celebratory fist in the air, not sure what to say to her statement.
She groaned louder than a stabbing victim. “I was thinking that, I didn’t intend to say it aloud.” She rubbed her hands over her face, peeking at him through her fingers. “Please don’t tell anyone I said that.”
“Your secrets are safer with me than they are anyone else.” Azriel smiled, trying to diffuse the obvious tension in her body. “So, your proposition?”
She tensed her jaw, moving her arms behind and looking at the ground as she spoke. “I guess my previous statement that will never be mentioned again to anyone if you like having the functional use of your organsperhaps wasn’t entirely irrelevant to what I’m going to ask you. But I beg, please let me finish before you say anything, and also don’t feel pressured to say yes.”
“Okay.”
“Silence.”
“Yes ma’am.”
She grinned at him, her eyes finally meeting his again. “As you know, better than anyone really, I have a difficult past.”
Azriel wished he could burn the images of finding her on that table from his mind. He’d had to actively teach himself not to envision her crying and screaming for her sister when she’d first became a permanent fixture in House of Wind. He’s seen many horrific things in his time, was no stranger to the worst humanity had to offer, but it was different when it was someone so vulnerable, so selfless, so important to him. It might have made him a bad person that he didn’t equate people’s trauma accordingly, but how could he possibly care for a stranger as much as he cared for Gwyn?
“What happened to me made me fear my body. Fear the sexuality I see women like Nesta and Mor own. They’re so powerful, and the things that have happened to them… They’re not broken. They’re not less. They’re not afraid.” She paused, sighing deeply. “I would never look upon anyone in the library as lesser than because of the things that have happened to them. It wasn’t until I met Nesta and Emerie that I realised I didn’t give myself the same grace. I want to own the parts of me that were stolen. I want to feel like my body belongs to me. I didn’t even know where to begin, but then the House gave me this book, some fluffy romance novel, and the girl in it was just like me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I just felt so seen. Like the Mother herself had handed this smut piece into my lap to make me feel better.”
Gwyn moved to one of the lounge chairs that Cassian had haphazardly shoved into a corner one night when Nesta didn’t feel like moving from the dining room. Gwyn was effortlessly graceful as she sat and curled her legs up, her head resting on her fist.
“That’s where the masturbating comes in.” Her eyes avoided his again, focusing on patterns her fingers drew in the velvet material of the chair. “The girl in the book did it. She’d never had an orgasm either. So, I did too.” She laughed quietly. “It made me feel good. Not just the physical pleasure part, but the part where it was just me, empowering myself at a pace I was comfortable with.”
Azriel wished he could say something, but one, he knew to be silent and let her have this moment, and two, he didn’t know how to tell someone he was proud of them for touching themselves without it sounding weird. He was proud though, extremely so, at how strong she felt from acting on her wants. Her resilience had always astounded him.
“In the book, the girl meets this man.” Her voice lowered, barely more than a whisper. “He treats her so kindly, in a way that I’ve seen Cassian treat Nesta a million times, in a way I yearn to be treated. I’ve given myself a clean slate. This body, my body, has only been touched by me. I am whole. I was never broken, just healing. And I’m at a stage where I want more. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
Azriel wished her could say yes, please the eager note in her voice that hoped he was on the same page as her, but even his shadows were silent to her desires.
She glanced at him just long enough to see him shake his head. She tipped her head back. “When Nesta first started sleeping with Cassian, I was so curious. What were they doing? What was he doing to make her look so satisfied? But when I tried to picture it, my stomach would churn. And then time passed. I grew stronger. I became a Valkyrie. And like many others before me and many more in the centuries to come, I walked in on Cassian and Nesta fucking.”
Azriel inhaled sharply. To hear the vulgarity fucking from a mouth so pure sent a bolt through him, and he chided himself for his inappropriate thoughts during such a serious conversation.
“They don’t know I saw, not that I think they would have minded. I would bet good money that if I asked for a demonstration on pleasurable acts Cassian and Nesta would be more than happy to comply. Where I might have once felt sick from seeing them, instead I felt-”
She cut herself off, looking for the right words.
“I felt burning desire. I’ve never been so envious of someone in my life. I didn’t want to have sex with Cassian, but by the Cauldron I wanted to feel the way that Nesta did. I wouldn’t tell you this if I didn’t know you were such a good secret keeper. Or such a good friend.”
Azriel couldn’t bite his tongue any longer. “Gwyn, what do you want from me?”
“I want you to have sex with me.”
***
Azriel stared at his ceiling, his shadows dancing and rolling around him.
I want you to have sex with me.
He tested the words on his own lips. They tasted sweet. They also brought an uncomfortable amount of pressure to his cock. He refused to touch it though and kept both his hands firmly behind his head.
He’d told Gwyn he needed to think about it, and she understood. She said she didn’t expect an answer from him straight away.
Azriel had a lot to consider.
He was practically titillated that when Gwyn had decided she wanted to explore herself with a male, it was him who she thought of. She expressed that it was because she knew he’d care for her, that he’d respect her and because of how much she trusted him. There were not words to express how hearing such things felt to him. It made him want to do this for her, because his soul be damned he knew he would do right by her. Make her feel good, feel special, feel appreciated.
It would be amiss though not to acknowledge that if he did do this, let her warm his bed while he tasted her, it could ruin not just the friendship they had established but also the dynamic of the house. She had assured him that if his answer was no, they would continue their lives as if the conversation never happened.
Which brought a darker thought to his mind.
If not Azriel, then who? She would surely approach someone else. Someone not deserving of her, who might not treat her how she deserved to be treated. That was not to say Azriel thought that in all his bastardly ways he was what Gwyn should have – no, she deserved more than he could ever give – but at least he knew that she would be safe with him.
The thought of another male’s hands on her made him see red.
That was answer enough.
***
Nesta and Cassian were gone for the weekend, caring for Nyx while Feyre and Rhys had a romantic getaway for the weekend. Azriel secretly thought Nesta was using this as a trial to see if her and Cassian were ready for a baby.
It was the perfect opportunity to have Gwyn join him.
The day after she’d approached him, he’d slipped her a note after training to say that he was all in, and to meet him the next night. He tried not to watch her face as she read the note but couldn’t help it. She went bright pink, but she seemed exhilarated.
And now she was standing in his room.
They nervously looked at each other. Azriel wanted to give her the chance to speak first other than their obligatory greetings, but she was tongue-tied.
“I was thinking we should take this in steps,” Azriel said, sitting on the edge of his bed, watching her refrain from pacing back and forth.
“That seems logical. What sort of steps?”
“I was thinking tonight we take sex off the table.”
“What?” Her face fell, hurt evident in her expression.
“Just for tonight. Gwyn, have you had your first kiss?”
She shook her head no.
“Then maybe we do that. And anything beyond only what you want. I need you to know that you’re in control here. Whatever we do or don’t do is completely your decision.”
She nodded, a small smile gracing her lips. “That sounds reasonable. Like you’re my little puppet.” Her hands mimed using a marionette, and Azriel found it easy to reciprocate her smile.
She moved to his side, planting herself on the bed next to him. He couldn’t help but notice the how good she smelled, how carefully her hair had been arranged and how she’d worn her nicest dress. She had wanted to look good for him, and the thought made his heart squeeze.
He reached out and held the hands she clasped in her lap. It made her look at him, her teal eyes flashing in the room only lit by his fireplace.
“You’re a very good friend, Azriel.”
“Do you want me to kiss you, Gwyn?”
She nodded, turning her body to face him.
He brushed her cheek with his thumb, then her lips, before he settled on cradling her face. She leant her head into his hand, so trusting as she looked at him. His hand was so big that the fingers that lay on her neck could feel her hammering pulse.
She leant in the same time he did.
At first it was just a peck. Their lips brushing against each other’s so gently it made Azriel ache. He pressed his lips to her again, and again, getting her used to the feeling of his lips on hers. She enthusiastically reciprocated, her slender fingers running up his chest before meeting behind his head, tangling themselves in his hair. He smiled against her mouth, pleased at such a reaction when the real kissing had yet to even start.
His grazed his tongue along her lip, and she eagerly opened her mouth, letting his tongue slip inside her. The noise she made at the contact buzzed straight through him, and he was pleasantly surprised when Gwyn, in all her eagerness, took control of him.
She kissed him as though she had done it her whole life, like her mouth belonged on his, and the feel of her delicate tongue made him deepen their kiss, angling her head so they could better feel one another. She was practically leaning back, and if this had been a meaningless one night stand she’d have been on her back by now with Azriel’s mouth between her thighs.
She broke away from him, his mouth instinctively following hers as it wanted more, making her gleam in pride.
“I want to change positions,” she said, her hands still wired into his hair.
“Anything you want,” he replied breathlessly.
Azriel didn’t know what to expect, but it was not her getting up and crawling into his lap. She straddled his thighs, and there was no way she wouldn’t be able to feel his erection pressing against her. He did with his hands what any male would do in this situation, and her giggle was enough to know that she’d wanted him to do that.
“Your hands are on my ass,” she laughed.
“Is that okay?”
“Very much so.” She took a deep breath. “Take your shirt off. Please.”
He obliged.
“And you should – you should take off my dress too.”
“Are you sure?”
“I have a slip on underneath.”
His hands shook slightly as they ran up her sides and to her back, undoing each button on her dress. To give her a more authentic experience, he decided to lean in as he did, kissing a new spot on her neck with each button that came undone.
She raised her arms so that he could slip the dress over her head, and he averted his eyes when her slip rode up with it. He didn’t look back until she had adjusted herself. When he did, he nearly fainted.
She was divine in her beauty. He always saw lovely she was, anyone with eyes would. Her body was lean and tight. Her uniform may have hidden it, but she had the power of any warrior in her body. Azriel wondered if she purposefully hid her strength so that it was a secret part of her arsenal. Smart female.
He ran his hands up her spread legs before planting them back on her ass. Unable to resist, he squeezed his hands, making her groan.
“Your hands feel so good,” she gasped. “Do everyone’s hands feel like that, or is it just you?”
He snickered. “Anyone who is worth their weight knows how to make a female feel good.” He bumped her shoulder with his nose. “What would you like me to do now? Do you want to keep kissing?”
“Fuck yes I want to keep kissing.” She leaned forward, her breasts pressing against his chest as she playfully nipped at his bottom lip. “But maybe we could do other things. Even better things.”
“What do you have in mind?”
Gwyn reached behind her and grabbed one of the hands resting on her behind. For the first time since they’d started, she looked nervous. Her legs were shaking, and Azriel was unsure if it was anxiety or anticipation for whatever she had planned.
She guided his hand under his slip until he was cupping her sex.
“You aren’t.” He swallowed hard. “You aren’t wearing underwear.”
She shook her head playfully. “I didn’t think I would need to.”
She pressed his hand into her, and he moaned at the wetness he found. She was so slick for him already, and all they had done was kiss. He did an exploratory brush through her folds, and as at the tip of his finger grazed over her clit, she arched into him, holding on tight to his shoulders.
He started teasing her, obsessed with the little noises she was making at the back of her throat as he did, but he soon realised something.
Usually, when Azriel was with a female, they got progressively more… turned on. Their bodies would react to his touch, and his fingers would be coated in their juices before he even attempted to enter them with either his fingers or his cock.
Gwyn was not.
It seemed the more he touched her, the more it was like her body didn’t want this. For all intents and purposes, she was… drying up?
His hand went still, and he could feel her body instinctively relaxing as his hand left her pussy.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered, clinging to him.
“You don’t enjoy this.” He made her look him in the eye, and his throat tightened at how she looked. There were tears lining her eyes and a deep furrow on her forehead.
“I do, I promise I do. I’m just nervous. If we – if we just overcome this one thing-”
“No, Gwyn.”
“Please Azriel,” she said desperately, trying to guide his hand back between her thighs.
As gently as he could, he lifted her from his lap and placed her beside him on the bed. Her breath shuddered, and he couldn’t bear the shattered look on her face.
She didn’t say a word, just stood up and tried to locate her dress. Azriel didn’t even know where he had thrown it, but he stood and stopped her from looking anyway.
“Gwyn…” He grasped her hands in his, towering over her as they faced each other. “I want to do this for you, please believe me when I say that. But maybe we just need to take a few more steps first. Do something else before that.”
“What else is there?” She was dejected, her shoulders slumped. “I don’t know what I’m doing Az. And I swear on the Cauldron I want this. Fuck, this is so embarrassing. I’m just so nervous, and I get in my head about everything I do-”
“Hey hey hey, stop that.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and the ropable tension in her body started to ease out. She slumped against him, his arms wrapping around her in an embrace. “This is fine. Great, even.”
“You are such a liar.” She sighed, but at least she returned his embrace, tucking herself into him so they were as close as possible.
He tried to think of ways to salvage the night for her, to give her at least a little bit of what she wanted.
An idea sprang to mind.
“Gwyn?”
“Mmm?”
“Get on the bed. Lie down.”
She looked up at him hopefully. She didn’t need to be told twice. She practically flung herself at the bed, laying down on her back and resting her arms above her head. She grinned at him, and he didn’t miss the way she clenched her thighs together than spread them apart like a silent invitation.
Azriel couldn’t help but brighten at her enthusiasm. He undid the buttons on his pants and kicked them down so he was naked before her.
“I thought we weren’t having sex!” She jolted to her side, holding herself up on her arms and staring at his penis, her eyes practically bulging out of her head at the sight of it.
There were many things Azriel did not like about himself. But he had a damn fine cock.
He laughed at the look on her face and shook his head. “We’re not having sex. I’m not even going to touch you.”
She deflated. “Really? Not even a little bit?”
He followed her to the bed, climbing over her without touching her and planting himself next to her so they were lying side to side. He turned his head to her, and she looked at him curiously.
“We’re not just going to lie here naked, are we? It’s a bit cold for that.”
It was a little chilly. Her nipples were hard under her slip, which had ridden up to her stomach.
“No, but we can get under the blanket if you want.”
Her gaze raked up and down his body. “I’m happy above the blanket.”
They laid in a comfortable silence for a moment, happily taking in each other’s bodies. She was the most exquisite thing he had ever seen, and he was glad to see that their kissing antics had left her dishevelled. He liked that look on her.
“Are you actually not going to touch me?”
“I’m not. I think you should touch yourself.”
“Pardon?”
“I’ll touch myself, too. It’ll be a way for us to be more comfortable with each other. For you to be in control of your pleasure.”
“Will you watch me?” she murmured.
“If that’s okay. You can watch me, too.”
She considered his words, and Azriel wondered if this was in fact not the good idea he’d thought he’d had. She pursed her lips, and he knew her answer when she grabbed the hem of her slip and pulled it off, leaving her naked before him.
They stared into each other’s eyes as her hand brushed over her exposed breasts, and Azriel had to hold himself back from taking them in his mouth, from pinching her perked nipples with his teeth. Maybe later, that could come; he thought she would quite like it.
Her right hand kneaded her breast and tweaked her nipple while her left dipped down between her legs. Two fingers ran over her core, and he studied the way she massaged herself so that he could do it to her in the future. At the sight, he tentatively grasped his cock, wanting to make sure that she was truly okay with him touching himself at the vision of her with her fingers dipping inside her, moistening herself before focusing on her clit.
Her eyes flickered to his stroking hand, and her response nearly made him finish then and there like a teenager exploring themselves for the first time. She’d seen him, and lifted her leg so that it was draped over one of his, giving her a better angle on her clit and twining them together.
“I’m used to being quiet,” she shuddered. “So that no one hears me.”
“Be as loud as you want. Scream for me.”
Her hand quickened, and his sack tightened as he matched her speed with his own hand, gripping himself tightly. He moaned so loudly that he was once again thankful that Cassian and Nesta weren’t in the house. Even the magic of the walls mightn’t contain the pleasure pulsing through him as he watched her.
Her legs started to shake, and the little noises she’d made before were no more. Her voice was loud as she no longer held herself back from feeling even ounce of her impending orgasm.
“What are you thinking about?” She asked, her hips starting to gyrate against her hand.
“You. All I can think of is you,” Azriel moaned. He pumped himself quicker, his grip becoming harder.
“What about you,” he whispered in her ear. “Are you thinking about what you saw Cassian do to Nesta?”
Her toes curled at his words. “I’m thinking of what I saw them doing, but it’s you and me.”
“What are we doing, Gwyneth?”
Her eyes fluttered shut. Her tongue licked her lips before she bit down on them. “We’re in the library. You have me bent over one of the desks, and you’re taking me from behind. One of your arms is around me, and you’re flicking my clit as I scream your name. You’re so deep in me, Azriel, I can feel every inch of you as I clench around you. Cauldron, you feel so good. The best thing I’ve ever felt, Az.”
His breath hitched, and he felt himself on the brink of coming. What finally did him in was her teeth biting down on his shoulder as she screamed his name, her orgasm making her whole body shake as it overcame over.
When they had both come down from their highs, they laid trying to catch their breath, both their bodies covered in sweat.
“That was amazing,” she sighed, turning to face him.
He grabbed a corner of the unused blanket beneath them to wipe himself off, then turned to face her, an arm going around her waist and his lips pressing a kiss to her forehead and cheek.
He wanted to look at her body, finally relaxed and languid, but his shadows had another idea. They bathed over her like silk, dancing over her curves and crevices, making her laugh.
“I quite like them,” she said, her eyes starting to drift closed.
“Are you tired?”
“Mhmm.” She snuggled into him further, stealing his warmth. His cock responded to her touch, but it was too soon yet to do anything meaningful.
“Move up for a sec.”
“Is that you trying to hint that I should go?” Her voice was joking, but the look on her face said that she’d go if he wanted her too.
“Absolutely not, you’re staying here with me. I’m just grabbing the blanket.”
She moved away just long enough for him to pull the blankets over them and pull her to his chest again.
She made a content noise and closed her eyes to sleep, and Az thought to himself that he didn’t care if this one day ended their friendship, because it might very well be the best time of his life anyway.
***
The next two weeks were filled with them sneaking away and feverishly touching themselves in all sorts of ways. Once, Gwyn sat in his lap naked while they stroked themselves, kissing each other the entire time. Another time, she pleasured herself by grinding against his thigh and he palmed himself – they hadn’t even bothered to take their clothes off. A late-night training session had led to her using a particularly shaped massage tool on herself in very a scandalous way while he watched, near feral at the sight of her pumping into herself. He did not return that item to the training ring, instead he kept it in his bedside drawer for future use.
It wasn’t until sixteen days and countless orgasms into their agreement that Azriel was finally able to touch her.
It had been a busy night. Rhys, Feyre, Nyx, Mor and Emerie were over for dinner, and it had been the most fun Az had had in a group since last solstice. At the table, he’d had Feyre on one side and Gwyn on the other, and her little secret touches to his thigh made him feel warm all over.
It wasn’t necessarily an arousing touch, just an affectionate one. When the group had started to disperse to drink, Nesta the sober adult taking care of Nyx, Az noticed Gwyn sneak away. He promptly followed her, making sure everyone was distracted as he did so no one noticed what they were doing.
Within a few minutes he was between her thighs tasting her. She had mentioned the night before that she wanted his tongue on her, and by the Cauldron was he happy to oblige. She was sitting on the edge of desk in the library that she’d described to him all those weeks ago, and whilst on his knees before her, he jerked himself off as she crumbled beneath his mouth.
Thankfully, by the time they returned, people were far too tipsy to question where they’d been.
Except for Nesta, who looked suspiciously between the two of them. Whatever she was thinking, it was at Gwyn’s behest if she knew anything. It was her decision, always, what happened between them, and if she wanted people to know about their sneakiness, that was for her to decide.
Seven days later is when she first touched him. Until that point it had all been about her, which is what Azriel wanted. They were on his bed, his fingers deep inside her as they kissed, when her hand brushed against his cock. He moved his hips aside, and she broke their kiss off with a noise of indignation.
“Stop swatting my hands away!” She flicked his nose with her finger.
“Huh?” He was still dazed on the sound of his hand gliding through her dripping wet core.
“Do you not want me to touch you?” Her voice was curt.
“I just want this to be about you. I don’t want you to think that I’m only with you for my own sexual gratification. The only thing that matters to me is your happiness, my soul purpose is you. You’re my priority.” He kissed her neck. “My desires are your desires.” Another kiss. “I can’t focus if you’re anything less than panting and satisfied.”
She pursed her lips, a familiar expression at this point. It turned into a joyful smile, and she smacked a kiss to his lips. “That was actually very sweet. After I get you off, I’m going to sit on your face.”
What was even better than the heavy petting and intense make out sessions was the talking. Sometimes for hours they would just tangle themselves together and divulge their life stories. Azriel knew all about her sister and mother – Gwyn confessing that she felt guilt when her twin wasn’t on the forefront of her mind, but sometimes she pushed her away because the memory of her was overwhelmingly devastating. Az wiped her tears away, desperate to see her smile again. But he also knew of all the good times she’d had growing up, and it made him feel alight inside to know how loved she was. Az told her mostly of Rhys and Cassian and the family they had made for themselves, about how it was so hard to be away from his mother, but he wouldn’t have survived another day in his father’s presence. Gwyn cried for him sometimes, and Azriel had never known such empathy from another.
When they were alone in the House, Nesta and Cassian off on one of their sexcations, Gwyn would spend her evenings and nights with him just as a friend, doing housework and menial tasks that she didn’t have to while humming various tunes. Az would tell her to stop working, but she would just grin and say she liked feeling like part of a home too much to not pretend that she lived there too. So he would just hum with her, his shadows dancing and swaying the way they always inevitably did around her. Then they would fall into bed together (or any surface really) until they were spent and exhausted.
Azriel had never known happiness like this.
***
Azriel was buzzing with excitement. He’d left Gwyn wrapped up in his bed, the sun not yet risen, and made sure to leave her some breakfast on his nightstand and the fire burning to keep her warm without his body next to hers. Usually he would wake her up early with his head between her thighs so she could go back to the library, but she had already told the acolytes she roomed with that she would be staying with Nesta, so no need to sneak around when no one was expecting her.
Before they’d gone to sleep the night before, Gwyn said something to him that left him smiling even now as he made his way to Rhys.
I want to have sex, Az. I’m sure. I know I’m safe with you.
Az didn’t know why Rhys needed him, but if it involved leaving Velaris, he would barter for a few more days so that he might be with Gwyn before he left. An odd feeling entered his chest at the thought. He couldn’t name the feeling; he just knew he didn’t want to leave Gwyn alone.
He landed on the doorstep of Feyre and Rhys’ home. Before he had the chance to let himself in, Feyre opened the door, a grave look on her face.
“Quick. Before they start yelling.” Feyre pinched her nose, the other hand holding Nyx on her hip.
Azriel pushed past her, and it wasn’t hard to find the source of Feyre’s frustration.
“Once again you fucking asshole, you need to back off. How dare you-”
“Nes, calm down-”
“Tell me to calm down again Cassian and I’m out of here. As I was saying, how fucking dare you accuse her of such things, Rhysand, High Lord of Shitting me up the Wall.”
“Nesta, for fuck’s sake you’re getting defensive for no reason!”
“No reason?!” she spat, Cassian holding her back before she lunged at Rhys.
“Too late,” Feyre muttered at him as she walked into the office, sitting at the desk to remain neutral in Nesta and Rhysand’s pissing match. Azriel would love to know what had riled them up so much that they were nearly screaming at each other, but any guidance from his brothers was not there.
“You have to admit that it’s suspicious, Nesta!”
Rhys threw his arm at Azriel as he approached, looking triumphant. “Azriel will agree with me.”
“He will not.”
“May I ask what I might need to agree to, or will it remain a mystery as to why you’re yelling so early in the morning?” Az crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for them to stop acting like children.
“Rhys accused Gwyn of being a spy,” Nesta growled.
“You’re twisting my words! I said I’d had reports of her acting strange, of her behaviour being completely different, and I suggested that it was worth looking into. We have to consider the safety of Velaris, and Gwyn would be the perfect plant.”
Azriel was sure Rhys was going to say more, but he was interrupted by Azriel’s uncontrollable fit of laughter. His laughs shook his whole body, and he felt tears in his eyes from how hard his fit was hitting him. He had to bend over to try and catch his breath, clutching at his chest as though his lungs might leap out of it.
“What’s so funny,” Rhys deadpanned.
Azriel shook his head and walked to Nesta, putting an arm around her shoulder.
“Are you serious, Rhys? Gwyn? Gwyenth Berdara?”
“Yes, I’m serious. Both Clotho and Merrill have approached me. Clotho, because she was worried, and Merrill, because she thought that Gwyn was being insubordinate. Clotho has had multiple girls come to her in fear for Gwyn, saying she’s been disappearing at night and coming back early in the morning. They she’s tired, unfocused, and that she’s exceeding every expectation they had for her in training and acting like a different person in the library. This has all been reported over the last month.” Rhys picked Nyx out of Feyre’s arms to calm himself before continuing. “Gwyn knows incredibly sensitive information about us. She helped us with the Trove, she treats the House of Wind like she bloody lives there. She’s awfully comfortable for a person who previous to knowing us refused to leave the library.”
Any humour Azriel felt had been leeched from his body. Nesta’s verbal beating of Rhys had been justified and then some.
“With all due respect, you can go fuck yourself,” he bit at his brother.
Feyre made a noise in the back of her throat and took Nyx back from Rhys before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.
Too much swearing for such little ears! she said into their minds as she was leaving.
“What the fuck, Az?” Rhys looked startled.
“I knew he’d side with me,” Nesta said smugly.
“She’s ‘awfully comfortable?’ Yeah, she is, because she found a fucking family. Nesta is like a sister to her, and she’s over at the House a lot not because she’s entitled, but because we want her there. You might not make that much of an effort with Nesta’s friends because of your own personal shit, but Cassian and I consider her a close friend. Accusing her of anything unbecoming, to me, is as bad as if you’d dragged me in here to tell me Cassian was working against us. You sound ludicrous. Also, need I remind you, it’s not your fucking House anymore. Who we have over is none of your damned business.”
Rhys scoffed. “It’s not your House either.”
“Sorry, High Lord Rhysand, I’ll manage my expectations.” Az clenched his jaw at Rhys’ words. He was right. Azriel didn’t technically have any property, neither had Cassian until Rhys had given Nesta the House as a mating gift. Azriel didn’t technically have a home beyond the sky, nothing worth giving to or sharing with another person. Even now, Gwyn was waiting for him in a bedroom that technically wasn’t is. He wouldn’t dare leave though, not when he knew it was one of only two places that Gwyn felt safe in.
“Why are you getting so defensive? You know what I’m saying is reasonable.”
“It would be if we didn’t know her. She is… there are not words to describe her.”
“Yes, there is,” Nesta piqued. “She is competitive. She is feisty. She’s a Valkyrie. She is the kindest soul in Velaris. She is so brave, and strong, and the most selflessly loving person I’ve met in my entire life. If you weren’t so thick headed, you would see that she’s like Feyre in a lot of ways.” Nesta paused. She left Azriel’s side to stand in front of Rhys, her shoulders back and her head high. “If you accuse her of something it would break her heart. I won’t let you hurt her.”
“I would never hurt her, Nesta.” Rhys rubbed a hand over his face. “If you’re so convinced that nothing is going on, can you explain her strange behaviour.”
Nesta turned away from Rhys, so that he couldn’t see her face. When Nesta looked over at Azriel, she didn’t need to say a single word for him to know that she knew the exact reason Gwyn was acting different.
It was because of him.
“I don’t need to explain it because I trust her. I’m also with her nearly every minute of every day. Do you not think I would not notice if she was conniving against us? Or are you truly that foolish?”
“I agree with Nesta,” Cassian said. “She’s either with us training the Valkyries, or she’s working with Nesta in the library. Who cares if she’s a little distracted, we all are sometimes.”
“And you’re sure of this?” Rhys directed his question at Azriel, almost as if he couldn’t trust Cassian and Nesta to be impartial because of how close they were to Gwyn. Huh. If only he knew.
“I have never been surer of anything.”
***
“Azriel, wait.”
Azriel was stalking through the front gardens. He would walk until his head was clear, then he would go home – go to the House of Wind – and spend the morning with Gwyn. Nesta had other plans.
“What is it?”
“Gwyn-”
“-will be safe. I won’t let Rhys near her.”
“I’m not worried about that. What is going on between you two?”
“Nothing.”
“I’m not blind. All the things Rhys described? Sure, might be espionage, but it might also just be someone falling in love.”
“We’re not together.” Love? What a preposterous thought. Gwyn had been very clear from the beginning in what she wanted from him. She needed someone to fulfil her physical needs, and Azriel was happy to do so. All the other stuff, the talking and friendship, was just icing.
“Then what are you doing? Setting yourselves up to get hurt?”
“This is a conversation you should have with her.”
“She trusts you so much, Az. Please, don’t do anything that would hurt her. She’s come so far since we met.”
“Nesta, I promise you I couldn’t dream of hurting her. The thought alone makes me feel visceral pain. What we do, what we are, is just her making decisions and doing what she wants. How did you even know there was something going on?”
Nesta smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I guessed she had a flirtation with someone. I knew it was you from the way she started saying your name.”
Azriel felt his eyes burn, but he did not know why. “The way she says my name?”
“I’ve heard the way she says it a million times. From Cassian and I. From Rhys and Feyre. I can’t describe it beyond that.”
Azriel shoved his hands in his pockets and shifted where he stood. “Have you told Cas?”
“I don’t need to, he knows.”
“So you guys have talked about it?”
“No. I haven’t told him that I know. But I know he knows. And he also knows I know.”
“So he knows you know even though you haven’t told him you know and you know he knows even though he hasn’t said he knows?”
“Exactly,” she laughed. Her smile was more genuine now. It was a look she’d only had since her mating ceremony. It sung contentment, something she, like him, struggled to have.
She came to him and linked their arms, resting her head on his shoulder. Her friendship was invaluable to him, as much as it was a surprise when it first started to form.
“I have one other thing to say, and then I’ll let you go home to Gwyn.”
“Yes, Nesta?”
“The House of Wind is as much as your home as it is mine. You can stay there forever if you want. It is your home, Azriel, and I wouldn’t dream of it being anything else.”
***
Gwyn was awake when Azriel returned home. She was humming a song to herself in bed, wrapped in his blankets like it was a cocoon. She had the breakfast he made for her in her lap, and when he entered the room, she pulled the blanket aside and opened her arms for him to fall into to.
Maybe he still looked stormy after his talk with Rhys, or maybe she just wanted to hold him. Either way, he fell happily into her embrace.
***
Gwyn had set a date. She did not intend to be so clinical about it, she just wanted to give herself a chance to mentally prepare for what was about to happen, and she needed a few days to do so.
The month she’d had with Azriel had been… Cauldron, she did not know how to exactly describe it. When she had approached him, she honestly did not think that he would say yes to such a ridiculous idea. But he had, and he’d given her nothing short of the best month of her life. Her cheeks ached from how much she was smiling, and even if she was tired when she worked, she wouldn’t give up her restless nights for anything.
It would also be remiss for her to not acknowledge that perhaps what she had with him was more than an arranged bargain, but any time the thoughts propped up she promptly put them to the side.
She had not gone to see Az last night, needing the time to do extra work so that she could be missed for a day. Or two. Maybe even three.
Gwyn didn’t know how long this marathon might last, but if it were anything like Nesta and Cassian’s, it could be a while.
She had also warned Clotho and the females she shared her room with that she would be staying at the House of Wind for a few days. When asked why, she just said she was doing something with Emerie without going into any detail.
So, tonight it was. She was ready.
She was so fucking ready.
The moment dinner was served in the library she made a run for it, having to physically restrain herself from skipping out of the library. She was so excited, her body literally vibrating with energy, that she didn’t even see Nesta before their bodies slammed together.
They went to a ground in a tangled fumble, and Nesta was too busy laughing to listen to Gwyn’s repeated apologies. The brisk evening air greeted them, the stars starting to peek through the violet dusk as they laid on the path that took them from the library to the training area to the House.
“Well, you made looking for you much easier,” Nesta said, brushing off her dress as she stood. She offered Gwyn a hand, which she gladly took. Nesta started walking towards the House, their hands not dropping as they swung them between them like children.
“Why were you looking for me?”
“Emerie is here with Mor and Feyre. I wanted you to join us for dinner.”
“I have dinner with you every night.”
“I know, but I wanted you to know that you’re not just welcome but also invited.”
Gwyn smiled at Nesta, love for her friend filling her heart.
They approached the House, Nesta’s face falling as they walked in and saw Rhys standing in the middle of the room, confused looks on the faces of Mor and Emerie as everyone just looked uncomfortable.
Nesta’s hands squeezed Gwyn’s, and for just a second it felt like Nesta was about to pull Gwyn right back to the library.
“I’m not sure what the problem is,” Mor said slowly. “We go out in Velaris all the time, why can’t we tonight?”
“You’re more than welcome to, I would just rather stay here,” Azriel replied.
Gwyn knew the look on his face. It was the same look he’d had a few days ago when he’d returned from Mother knows where after Rhys summoned him. Gwyn assumed Azriel had just had to do one of the many hard tasks expected of a spymaster, but perhaps there was something else if his face was a mirror of that again now.
“What’s going on?” asked Nesta.
They all turned to look at them like they were surprised to see them. Not even Azriel had noticed their entrance, although Gwyn self-admitted that Azriel tended to be surprised by her sudden appearances quite often. She didn’t know for sure, but she thought maybe his shadows didn’t bother warning him when she was near. It’s not like she was a danger to the guy.
“Rhys came and said we should try the new restaurant on the Rainbow! The one near Feyre’s studio? I’ve heard really nice things about it, and the family that opened it are really beautiful.” Mor beamed at them all, trying to disperse the odd tension. “And then maybe we could go dancing.”  
The idea sounded wonderful, and Gwyn wistfully wished she could join them. In reality, just the thought of going into the city set her heard racing. The only time she had ever left the library or the House, other than to go to Emerie’s house which landed them in the Bloodrite, was to officiate Nesta and Cassian’s mating ceremony. Although the memory was one of her most treasured ones, it was not something she thought she would be able to do again. Not yet.
“I’ve heard great things about that place,” Nesta replied, her stomach audibly grumbling at just hearing about the exquisite food it might receive.
“You are all more than welcome to go.” Azriel swept a hand out between them. “But I don’t want to.”
His gaze flickered to Gwyn, and suddenly the eyes of everyone were on her.
A blanket of understanding washed over the room. Most eyes were understanding, Mor’s held the pity that Gwyn hated, and Rhys looked indifferent, if not satisfied.
Azriel’s resistance became evident. It wasn’t just that it was the night, their night, but he didn’t want her to be left alone whilst everyone else galivanted through the city having the time of their lives when they knew she wouldn’t be able to join them.
“I don’t want to go either. It’s been a long week and I’m tired,” said Nesta.
Gwyn narrowed her eyes at her lying sister but couldn’t hold it in her heart to be angry. In face, she had to stop it from swelling with how loving their words felt. They didn’t want her to be alone. They wanted to stay with her.
“You know,” spoke Emerie softly, “I can’t imagine anywhere making food as well as the House.”
Mor’s eyes shot to Emerie, and Gwyn wondered if she was imagining the slight betrayed look in them.
“Guy’s, c’mon. Rhys and I made a reservation, they’re expecting us! It would be rude not to go,” Mor pleaded.
Azriel opened his mouth to snap back, but Gwyn interrupted. “She’s right. You should go enjoy yourselves.”
“But Gwyn-”
“It’s okay, Nesta. Please, I really think you should all go.” She made a point to look at Azriel. “It sounds like it would be a lot of fun.”
“It’s not fair to arrange activities that we can’t all participate in.” Azriel’s voice had softened as he looked at her, and if she didn’t have better self-control she would stride over and plant a kiss on his pouting lips.
“How could Mor have known that Gwyn would be here? It’s not her fault,” Rhys interjected.
“That’s the worst excuse I’ve ever heard-”
“Stop, just stop.” Gwyn clutched her hands in front of her and stepped away from Nesta. She needed them to see her as an adult, as someone who was strong and to be taken seriously. “It’s fine. Really, truly. I have a lot to do anyway.” She turned to Feyre and waved her fingers at Nyx. “If you would like, I can take care of him so you can enjoy some grown-up time.”
For a second Feyre looked hopeful, but then she schooled her face into neutrality. Rhys stepped between the two, and Feyre had to put an arm on his shoulder.
As if to stop him stepping any further.
Gywn blinked, feeling like she should blanch away but not sure as to why.
“That won’t be necessary,” Rhys said. She’d heard him use that voice before. It was his political voice. His I-have-an-agenda voice. Now it was her turn to look confused.
“No worries,” Gwyn whispered.
She looked away from the High Lord’s searing gaze and back to her friends. She hoped her face didn’t speak of her sadness.
“Please go. I would feel awful if any of you stayed on my part. If anything, by going and having a great time you’d be doing me a favour, because I wouldn’t feel guilty.”
“You could always just come with us,” Mor said, tucking her hair behind her ears in a way that was comically similar to how the ‘popular’ girls in her smutty books would behave.
Gwyn bit her lip, thinking about it. Of course, logically, she would be safe. They would all be there, Azriel would be there, but she genuinely felt like she might vomit at the thought. A bead of sweat dripped down her back, and she despised how her eyes stung with tears. She breathed the way her and Nesta had learnt from Valkyrie texts and pulled herself back to reality. Sometimes the logic of actions did not dictate how you would feel, or react, to a situation. Gwyn reminded herself once more to be kinder to herself.
“Thank you for the offer, Mor, but I am happy here.” Gwyn smiled brightly at them all, and they seemed to relax – all but Az and her sisters.
She shooed them out of the House, hoping that one day she would be able to join them.
***
It was odd. Gwyn had spent much time over the last few years alone, but it had never affected her. And although the House was quite good company – it had dinner and dessert ready for her with a box of tissues and chocolates even before Cassian had finally flown off with the resistant Nesta – it wasn’t the same as spending time with someone who could talk back to you.
She only just made it through her meal when she crawled into Azriel’s bed, hoping the scent of him would make her feel better.
It didn’t, but the sight of his room did. There were unlit candles lining the room, and flowers adorning every surface. The cheeky male had even installed a mirror on the ceiling above the bed, and she blushed profusely at the implications.
He had tried to make it romantic, and she adored him for it.
She had no idea when he would be back, and she scolded herself for wishing it would be sooner rather than later. She wanted him to be out and about with his family, even if it made her burn with envy that everyone would be able to enjoy him but her.
She rolled over, stuffing her face into his pillow and groaning. She should take off her day clothes and resign herself to pyjamas. Maybe she should sleep in a different bedroom so as to not torture herself with what this night could have been.
Her night with Az. The night with Az.
“That’s it. I am so over this,” she said aloud before springing up. She stomped out of the room and towards Nesta’s, flinging her closet open to inspect her clothes.
It was just a restaurant. It was safe. She would be fine. Besides, how could she overcome her fears if not to face them? She had gone to Emerie’s and survived. She had gone to Nesta’s mating ceremony and survived. She had won the bloody Bloodrite!
As she looked through the dresses, she quickly realised they wouldn’t fit. They would hang loose at her hips and chest, where Nesta was beautifully endowed and she was not.
“Not to worry, I’ll just take a coat then.” Taking the first one she saw, light but soft enough that warmth wouldn’t be an issue, Gwyn shoved her shoes on approached the door that led to the ten thousand steps that would take her to Velaris. She didn’t know where to go from there, but she knew in her heart of hearts that she would be able to find her friends with enough willpower. And since meeting Nesta and Emerie, since being empowered by the strongest females she knew and since empowering herself, she knew she had that willpower in abundance.
“Let’s fucking do this.”
***
She didn’t know at what point the House had left her, its omnipresence not connected to the stairs, but she was doing just fine even if she felt its absence. She counted in her head to keep track of where she was.
One thousand. Feeling good. Coat in arms.
Two thousand. Out of breath but in a good way.
Three thousand. Fucking shit.
Four thousand. Maybe she should turn around.
Five thousand.
Six thousand. How has Nesta done this multiple times?
Seven thousand. She had this! This was easier than Ramiel!
Eight thousand. If she died here no one would find her.
Nine thousand.
Ten. Fucking. Thousand.
Gwyn realised that there was no way she’d be able to eat with them. They would be having dessert if they hadn’t already moved on. She just needed to find them.
As Gwyn took the last step, her toes touched the streets of Velaris for the very first time.
It was so beautiful she thought she might cry. There was colour everywhere, the laughter of adults and children alike, and she could smell delicious food as the many restaurant’s wide-open doors let the scents pour into the streets. The faelights lining the streets reminded her of the stars she often gazed at with Azriel, the thought of him like a caress to her mind.
Azriel loved Velaris, would die for this city if he had to. How could she been afraid of something he loved so much?
She took one step. Then one more. She was sure to anyone that glanced her way she must have looked like a lunatic, her eyes wide in wonder as she moved at a snail’s pace, Nesta’s coat bundled in her arms because after all those steps she didn’t need it.
Her heart was hammering in her chest, equal parts fear and excitement, as she walked through the city. She got a few odd looks, but she could see it was out of curiosity for a newcomer in a city that had been locked down for centuries, and not for violence. She wasn’t leered at or bothered. In fact, the only time someone even talked to her was when a toddler sprinted from his mother’s side, his legs too quick for his body to keep up, and he fell into her.
The mother apologised profusely but Gwyn didn’t care at all. How could she be mad at the pudgy little baby?
It was easy to find her way to a district clearly dedicated to all things food. If possible, she slowed down even more. She peeked inside every restaurant looking for the four sets of wings that would set her friends apart from everyone else.
Finally, after what seemed like hours of searching but was probably closer to forty minutes, she saw them.
Azriel and Rhys were standing outside the restaurant Mor must’ve been talking about. Light and music drifted from its open windows, the streets still full of roaming people. Gwyn knew they wouldn’t be able to see her yet, and she wondered how she should approach them.
Azriel… did not look happy, and the tense set of Rhys’ shoulders and back let her know that his face likely looked the same, even if he was facing away from her.
Before she could think of a strategy, Azriel looked up, his eyes meeting hers.
Gwyn could not describe the feeling that filled her as they drunk in one another. Still standing twenty steps from him, his gaze made her feel like she was wrapped in his arms.
She raised one hand in a wave, and it was like Rhys didn’t exist at all.
Azriel shoved him to the side, Rhys making an indignant sound as he did. He ran to her, and she dropped Nesta’s coat so she could wrap her arms around him as they crashed together. People in the streets backed off at Azriel’s display, and in that moment she couldn’t have cared less about where she was, as long as she was with him.
His wings wrapped around her, creating a shield between them and the outside world.
“Gwyn.”
“Hey Az,” she whispered, her arms around his neck and his face tucked to her shoulder.
“What are you doing here? Is everything okay?” He straightened and brushed the hair from her face. It had stuck to her skin from how much she had sweat while taking the stairs, but she didn’t care how she looked. She knew he certainly never would.
He looked ready to fight an invisible threat, and it made her throb in unspeakable places.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just – I. Um.” She hadn’t rehearsed what she would say to him, but it’s not like she could blurt out Hey! Just wanted to near you at all times and rub my body against yours!
“Did something happen? What do you need me to do?”
She shook her head. “No, no, Az, really, I’m fine. I just regretted not coming out with you all.”
He must have been able to see the honesty on her face and smile, because he relaxed, his wings folding back.
The look on his face was adorable as the realisation dawned on him that she was here for him.
“Did I miss everything? Are you all done?”
He didn’t answer, but he did look behind him. Rhys was standing there with his mouth open, his face laced with something Gwyn couldn’t put a name to. Before she could greet him, Rhys stormed back into the restaurant.
Azriel turned back to her, and he didn’t hesitate when he lifted her chin and kissed her.
She gasped but reciprocated zealously. She pushed her body into his, and his arms went around her as he lifted her off her feet, cradling him to her as he kissed her like she was the wind that let him embrace the skies. He tasted like air, like gold, like this was his final breath and he was he was sharing it with just her.
***
Azriel sat with Gwyn while the rest of their friends danced. She hid it well, but he could tell that she was nervous being in this new environment.
She had been so good, so brave when she went into the restaurant and greeted Azriel’s family. Nesta and Emerie jumped up when they saw her, and Nesta held her tightly while Emerie rushed to get another chair. Nesta was trying to be subtle, but Azriel saw the happy tears she shed as she held Gwyn. Emerie then insisted that Gwyn sit and eat her strawberry and mango cheesecake with her, which earned an inexplicable scowl from Mor. Interesting.
Once Gwyn was satisfied and protesting the consumption of more food, they all walked together to one of the classier bars Nesta used to frequent so they could go dancing. Everyone was light as a feather, except Rhys, but life was hard as a fucking asshole, so Az wasn’t surprised he was feeling surly.
And now here they were. Azriel and Gwyn seated with the others dancing to their hearts content. Mor was spinning around with a giggling Nyx, Feyre and Rhys were swaying but it was obvious they were speaking to each other through their daemati bond, and Emerie and Nesta were terrorising Cassian in a three-way dance.
“How are you feeling?” Azriel asked, his shadows silent to her moods. If it had been anyone else, he would have known she was coming to the restaurant before she’d even left the House. But his shadows didn’t like to spy on her and revelled in him being surprised by her.
“I feel good.” Her gaze was focused on the dance floor, and Azriel glanced over to see what was so entrancing.
Nesta and Cassian were finally dancing alone, Emerie now with Nyx and Mor. The way Cassian and Nesta were grinding on each other was nothing short of pornographic as they moved into the shadows of the dance floor. Nesta’s back was to Cassian, his hands clasped on her hips as his lips were on her neck as she pushed her ass back against him.
Azriel snorted. They’d be fucking in an alley within the next fifteen minutes.
“Do you want to dance like that, Gwyneth?”
She turned to him, a lovely flush spreading from her face to her chest. “No,” she said unconvincingly. She slid her chair closer to his, the bar stool so high she had to hop onto it to sit. It was frightfully cute, and Azriel had to restrain from kissing her again.
He couldn’t help it in the street. The sight of her – rumpled, breathless, her face alight with joy – was too much for him.
She was beginning to be too much for him.
The longer he was with her, the more of her he was allowed to have, the more he feared he could never go back to just a simple friendship. This female would either be his salvation or his ruination, either of which he would happily accept if it meant he could savour every minute he had left with her.
Under the table, she linked their hands, and Azriel thought he might very well die from the touch.
“I’m sorry we didn’t get to enjoy our plans.” He rubbed his thumb against her finger.
She smiled his way, her eyes crinkling at the sides. “It’s okay.” She looked down, biting her lip. “I went to your room. I saw what you had done.”
He swallowed hard. “Did you like it?”
She removed her hand from his and placed it on his thigh. “I loved it.”
He shifted in his seat, glad that the tablecloth was long enough so that anyone around, if they looked, would only see their ankles. “You’re playing with fire right now,” he chucked under his breath as she continued to stroke his thigh.
“I especially liked the mirror on the ceiling. May I ask, what purpose does it serve?” Her smile may have been all innocent, but the way her hand was moving was anything but.
She leant against him so they were touching shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip.
“It was for your pleasure.”
“Is that right?”
He brushed his lips to her ear, grateful that the dim lights of the bar kept them in the shadows and that the dancing bodies kept their scents hidden. And over the live music, no one would hear them. “Mhm. It was so that, no matter what position I put you in, you could watch me.”
She tipped her head back, humming in acknowledgement. Her hand, already in dangerous territory, swept down his increasingly hard length.
He grunted, laying both his hands on the table and fisting the cloth.
“Is this okay?” she asked, breathless.
He nodded, taking a swig of his drink to distract him.
She brushed her hand down again, bolder this time, and he squirmed in his chair.
“I would take it out, but I fear it would be seen over the table. So inside it stays,” she sighed. “It must be hard being so large.” She put her lips to his ear, mimicking what he had done to her. “I do love it though. The size, the taste, I think about it constantly.”
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he choked out. “But at least I’d die happy.”
Her hand slipped inside his pants, and he couldn’t help but thrust up into her hand. He tilted his head back in pleasure as she worked him, getting the angles just right as she pumped him. He was unbelievably aroused by the public act, barely able to believe that she’d do something so audacious. But Cauldron have mercy, he would do anything if it meant she was touching him. She could ask to ride him right now in the middle of this bar and he would blissfully indulge.
“I’m going to finish soon,” he warned her.
“I can’t wait for you to finish in me.”
Her words were his undoing, and he felt the edge of the table splinter under his grip as he contained his moan of pleasure.
He stared at her as she pulled her hand from him, offering him a serviette to clean himself like she hadn’t just given him a mind-blowing orgasm where anyone could have seen.
“Az?” she asked after a few, content minutes of silence.
“Yes, Gwyneth?”
“Do you think we could go dance?”
***
Gwyn couldn’t remember the last time she had been this relentlessly happy. Azriel flew her and Emerie back to the House of Wind, the latter looking forlorn as they finally left the bar in the small hours of the morning.
Rhys and Feyre had left much earlier, Nyx too small to stay up that late, and if Gwyn was being honest she was surprised they lasted as long as they did. Feyre seemed fine, but Rhys was in a shocking mood. Every time she asked Azriel about it, he just muttered about Rhys being a jerk without elaborating. She could tell that whatever it was, it was sensitive, so she didn’t push him.
Her and Nesta put a very intoxicated Emerie to bed, stripping her and putting her into some pyjamas before tucking her in nice and tight with some herbs on her nightstand that would help her head in the morning. Azriel and Cassian had already gone to their respective bedrooms, and Gwyn contemplated how she was going to sneak into Azriel’s room when Nesta stopped her.
“Can we talk for a second?”
“Of course.”
Nesta led her to the library, and they plopped themselves onto one of the plush couches. Gwyn faced her as she sat, tucking her feet under Nesta’s thighs to keep them warm.
Two hot chocolates appeared to them on a table, a dish of marshmallows to the side. They whispered their thanks to the House, claiming the warm drinks. Gwyn pressed hers up against her face, liking the warmth on her skin.
“What do you want to talk about?” Gwyn asked, taking a sip.
“Azriel. You. You and Azriel.” Nesta patted her shin, and Gwyn put her drink down. This wasn’t a hot chocolate kind of conversation.
“I don’t know what you’re talk-”
“Do you love him, Gwyn? Because if you did, or even if you don’t, you don’t have to sneak around Cassian and I and pretend nothing is happening. You can live here, forever if you want. All four of us in the House.”
“Nesta-”
“Imagine if we both had our families and babies here. It’s a big place, we wouldn’t get in each other’s way. And maybe Emerie could come too and she could fall in love too and we’d all be so happy. Okay, I’m rambling and that was weird. What I’m trying to say is – is that you can Azriel are so obviously together and I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out why you’re keeping it a secret from us, not that I care that you have secrets you’re an adult and you don’t have to tell me everything, and I’m so fucking happy for you, Gwyn, and I want you to know that you can be publicly happy, if you want.”  
“Nesta…”
“I just love this. You and him. I’ve never seen Azriel so happy and you just smile all the time. And, oh, it reminds me of Cassian. In the way that I can see ourselves reflected in you two, and I wonder if maybe if I hadn’t been so,” she gestured at her head, “you know, then I could have just been this happy from the start of us, with him, like you two. So I need you to know that if you want that, if you want him, I am so incredibly supportive and I will do anything you want if it means you get your happily ever after. Okay, I’m done.”
“Nesta.”
“And I also would just love to know how this all began. Like the secret little smiles and observations that I’ve had for as long as I’ve known you just changed one day. And I know you guys used to train alone sometimes and I know you were always here with him, and me and Cas but I can’t pinpoint when your friendship turned into this.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Sorry, I really am done now.”
“Are you sure?” Gwyn pinched her cheek lovingly, and Nesta swatted it away.
“Yes.”
Gwyn took a second to think about her words, and as nice and idyllic as they sounded, Gwyn wasn’t sure they were the truth.
“Nesta, we aren’t together.”
“What?”
“We have a…” Gwyn struggled to find the words. “Deal? Agreement?”
“A sexy agreement?”
Gwyn laughed. “No. Well, yes actually.” She launched into the story of how her and Azriel had started their bargain, detailing how Azriel had agreed to help her overcome her fear, and how much they practised towards her ultimate goal of sex. Gwyn also expressed how their closeness was something she treasured, as spending so much time together naturally led to a deepening in their friendship. Her face stained pink as she told her of some of the things they had done, but how, after over a month together, that hadn’t actually sealed the deal.
Nesta was silent the entire story, letting Gwyn speak her truth. She was contemplative over Gwyn’s words, not saying anything until she was done speaking.
“Before I say anything, I want to let you know how incredibly proud of you I am, and how much I support wanting to explore yourself and your sexuality. No matter what I say, I need you to know that.”
Well, that wasn’t a good start.
“I understand, Nesta.”
“Gwyn, do you love him?”
Gwyn took a deep breath. It was a topic she often pushed from her mind, unable or not wanting to broach the subject. “I don’t know.”
“It’s a yes or no, Gwyn.”
Gwyn shrugged her shoulders. “What if it’s a ‘I’m not sure because I so thoroughly blurred the lines between what was real and what I asked him to do to help me?’ What if it’s a ‘I don’t know if I could say it to him but if he said it to me, I would say it back in an instant?’”
“Do you know how he feels about you? Has he said anything?”
Gwyn shook her head. “I know we’re friends. I know he cares about me. I know he would do anything I asked of him. I know he must love me, in some way, but I don’t know if it’s love-love or platonic love.”
“And he’s never given any sort of indication of his intentions?”
Gwyn pondered how thoughtful he was, how detail oriented he was to her pleasure and how he was the best part of her day. And as she thought about it, about him, who was so caring and lovable and agreeable, and she realised that a lot of what he did for her – the comfort, the talking, the support – he would do for anyone.
“I’ve never asked.” Her breath shuddered, and Nesta put a hand to her cheek.
“Maybe you should.”
“What if he doesn’t feel the same way as I do? What if I’m just an obligation?”
“Oh, my love.” Nesta repositioned them so that Gwyn was lying down, her head in Nesta’s lap, as Nesta lovingly stroked her hair. It reminded Gwyn so much of what Catrin used to do that she couldn’t help the tears that started to shed.
“It’s better to know what you are to him. If it’s any consolation, I think he cares about you a great deal. Maybe even loves you. It’s hard to tell when he’s naturally so cold.”
He wasn’t cold, she wanted to say, he was the warmest person she knew. Instead, she cried, and she let Nesta comfort her like she always did.
***
A few days passed, and although Gwyn never left the House, her sexual relations with Az didn’t progress. Rather, they stopped altogether. He didn’t mind at all, he was just glad for her company. They talked and trained, and Azriel was surprised that somehow he could be even more impressed of her than before.
She also started doing what he called her ‘casual kisses.’
They would be doing something monotonous, like sorting weapons for training the next day, and she could kiss him as she walked by him. Or they would be sitting in bed reading, and she would lean over and brush her lips to his temple.
It became a game, who could casually kiss the other first if the opportunity arose, and it was the best game Az had ever played.
He felt himself looking forward to the nights even if the only touching they did was cuddling until they fell asleep in each other’s arms. Azriel wondered if this is what home felt like.
It was late, and Gwyn decided that she needed to return to the library before people started to question where she was. Az didn’t have the heart to tell her they already were.
“I had the most interesting conversation with Nesta the other day,” she said as they reached the door that would take her away.
“What about?”
Gwyn fiddled with her fingers, trepidation oozing from her.
“Are you okay?” he asked, worry starting to maw at him.
“I’m fine.” She turned to face him, and he took the opportunity to kiss her on her hairline. He loved the height different between them, it made him feel bigger than he was. “Nesta asked me about us. She has suspected for a while.”
He schooled his face into neutrality. As far as Gwyn knew, this was new information to him.
He hadn’t told her a word of what had happened between them and Rhys, and it would stay that way. All it would do was hurt her, and Azriel was serious when he said no harm would ever come her way from him. She did not need to know that Rhys was acting like a tool.
In more ways than one. Azriel didn’t need to read minds to know that Rhys was highly suspicious of them both. And more so, as much as it pained him to admit, how much Rhys disapproved. He wasn’t sure why, and he couldn’t bear to ask, but he had a good idea. Rhys, as much as he loved Az, must know that he would never be good enough for Gwyn. The idea had plagued him for days, and the only thing that drove away the dark thoughts were the casual kisses Gwyn would bestow upon him.
“How do you feel about that?” he asked her, snapping back to their conversation.
She shrugged. “At first I was worried, but now I’m actually kind of relieved.”
“Why were you worried?”
“You know, it’s weird. I had it in my head that if people knew I was on this mission to achieve some ultimate, empowering orgasm that they might judge me. But Nesta never would, and I felt like an idiot as soon as she looked at me and told me she knew we were,” she gestured between them, “touching.”
Az snickered. “Touching is one way to sum it up.”
“She asked me something I couldn’t answer.”
“What was that?”
“She asked me what we are.” She brushed her hands over his chest absentmindedly. “What I am to you.”
He clasped her hands and held them to his heart, trying to make her look at him when she was purposefully focusing on the floor.
“What did you tell her?”
“I told her the truth. That I don’t know what I am to you.”
“Gwyn…”
“I need to say something, and I beg you not to interrupt until I’m done.” She sniffled, and he hated the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.
She took a deep breath and wiped her tears away, facing him with steel. “I genuinely approached you with nothing but friendship in mind. I had a plan, to sleep with you once and then go back to how we always were before – me, as your overly competitive but absolute best student, and you as, as this God of a man that I could not believe even walked the same existence as me, let alone be someone I considered a friend. You were my ribbon Az. The thing I wanted to be as good as. And then you said yes to me. I didn’t expect you to. I half-thought you would laugh because you thought I was joking. But you didn’t, and you said yes, and I have made the grave mistake of developing feelings I swore to myself I wouldn’t.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but she put a hand over his mouth before he could.
“I had every intention of having sex with you until Nesta asked me what I was to you. And then I realised that if all I was to you was a proposition to uphold, I couldn’t do it. I can’t be with you just once. I can’t be just friends if we take that last step. So, Az, I’m asking you, and please don’t feel obligated to say anything you don’t feel, but what am I to you?”
He couldn’t breathe. His chest felt like his ribs were being ripped apart and then shoved back together until his lungs were caged too tightly. He knew what he wanted to say, that of course she was more than that, she was everything, but then he thought of her spirit being crushed by his inadequacies, and how she could do so much better now that she was ready to. She was pure, she was light, and she deserved more than his darkness.
He had been quiet too long.
Watching her was like watching a porcelain doll shatter after being dropped. Her face crumbled, and she pulled her hands away from him as she tried to contain herself.
“You’re my best friend.” He finally said, his own tears stinging at his eyes. “I can’t lose you.” Which he would, if she stayed with him and realised how truly broken he was.
A sob fractured her chest, and Az hated the way her voice sounded when she spoke. “You’re my best friend, too.”
And then they were kissing. It tasted like salt from their tears and was more passionate and heart-wrenching than any of the kisses they’d had before. They were drowning, their only hope at salvation one another as they clung to each other with all the strength they had.
Azriel didn’t want to let her go. He knew once he did that it would be over. His month of bliss, of final contentment, would be over. Part of him wished Nesta had never opened her mouth, or that he’d been able to tell the truth, but all of him wished that he was someone else, or that he was more like his brothers, so that he was good enough for her.
When they finally stopped kissing, it was not so she could leave. They still clung to each other, breathing in each other’s scents, well into the night.
When she whispered goodbye, part of his soul left with her as she walked away.
He lied to her by staying silent. He should have told her the truth, that what he was feeling went deeper than affection, maybe even deeper than love. But this lie protected her, and he would take it to his grave.
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Note
My return as fox anon was not in a blaze of corrupted!Gem glory as I had assumed it would be, but instead my brain taking a discussion on Gem having trauma over sleep potions and turning it into... this
so yeah... I would say to enjoy but that is a relative term so instead try not to cry too hard ig? /hj
ALSO KNOWN AS FOX ANON RAMBLES WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT POTION BOTTLE DESIGN AND SLEEP POTIONS APPARENTLY I AM COMING BACK AFTER WRITING I GOT SO SIDETRACKED LOL
Splash potion bottles are designed very specifically. There's a reason that no reputable merchant will sell or buy them in any other type, quality issues aside. The way they shatter is designed to go downwards and out, keeping the glass close to the ground and away from more sensitive areas. It also shatters into a powder so fine that you won't get chunks of glass in your leg, it'll still hurt like a bitch if you stick your hand into it, but everything about them is designed for maximum safety.
Those regulations don't exist on the black market when you're buying illegal sleep potions.
Sleep potions aren't nice, they're not something you could give to an insomniac or a child who won't settle down. They're sharp and terrifying, and being asleep under them isn't much better.
It's like you're drowning, being pulled under ice cold waves and not being able to break through again, no matter how hard you struggle. But you can't sink to the bottom because your terror is keeping you moving, keeping you kicking for the surface.
But then finally, finally, you manage to break through. You take big gulps of air and relax slightly, floating with the current, until you realise it's taking you over a waterfall. You try to swim away but it's too strong, and you're falling, falling, falling-
And then you wake up.
So yeah, not a pleasant experience. That alone would have been enough to give Gem enough trauma to last a lifetime, but in one particular universe, something plays out differently.
The glass shatters and goes flying, and just before Gem is pulled into unconsciousness she screams, clutching at her face.
And then the world goes dark.
When she wakes again it's to half her face covered with itchy bandages, and it's blocking her vision. She goes to remove them, knowing she'll be able to take much better stock of her surroundings with more than just the one eye, but Sausage yells at her to stop.
He explains that when the bottle shattered glass flew everywhere and... her eye got hit.
He halfheartedly questions her for info on the egg but just lets her and Scott go when she doesn't give up any. He apologises as she walks past.
She doesn't respond.
Scott has to help her leave, as she keeps bumping into things on the way out. She tries to fly home on her own but he firmly tells her no and carries her, knowing that she would crash otherwise. He messages Fwhip once they get to the Cliffs and no words are exchanged between the pair, Fwhip just giving him a nod of thanks before rushing to his sister, not even noticing the rustle of wings as he leaves. He just holds Gem as she cries and tries to comfort her the best he can.
There are a lot of changes, for everyone. Gem has to learn how to move with less depth perception, how to take care of the wound, how to deal with the feeling of the fabric from her eyepatch on her face all the time.
Everyone has to learn how to not approach from her blind side, lest they get attacked by a paranoid Gem, how to make noise when they approach so she knows they're coming.
Sausage, once he's uncorrupted, has to learn how to live with the guilt of what he's done, even if Gem doesn't blame him.
(Fwhip does. The WRA alliance has never been the same since.)
But it's not all bad.
There are the moments when Gem pretends not to notice the hand embroidered eyepatches Fwhip slips in. It would be sweet, if they weren't all Grimlands propaganda. It makes him laugh when she wears them though, so she fixes the patch proclaiming "grimlandz rulez!" on her face with a smile.
There are the moments when Gem truly lets herself relax, not worrying about watching out for her blind side or trying to listen for every little noise. When she's with Fwhip and Pearl, and surprisingly Scott, and she trusts them enough to lower her guard.
It's a struggle, but it is something they all slowly get used to, and everyone supports Gem every step of the way.
SO YEAH UHH BRAIN CAME UP WITH THIS OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE LMAO
like a third of this is just me rambling about weird technical stuff like sleep potions and how bottles break so just ignore that if you want or something kajshd
ok words are failing me bye now!
-🦊
GAH THIS IS REALLY GOOD AAAAA
sorry im just !!!!! this is just really great
gem w an eye patch, ;-; ,,,, wra brainrot v v strong and sad
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nationalharryleague · 3 years
Text
The Busy Bean
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Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader
Genre: Coworkers to lovers AU
Word count: 5.6K
A/N: Hi all! This is my entry for Sadie’s (@meetmeinfleetwood) To Lovers Fic Challenge!! As always, many thanks to Mia (@hardcandy-harry) and Lu (@meetmymouth​ even tho shes taking a little break lol) for being wonderful betas!! I really love it and I hope you enjoy it too! You can find more of my writing in my masterlist and I would love to hear what you think (or anything else lol) in my ask! 
***
The first day at a new job is a universally terrifying experience.
You can’t sleep the night before, head full of nightmare scenarios of evil customers and mean bosses, and a swirl of anxiety continues to bubble in the pit of your stomach, refusing to slow or calm. There's a part of you that prays they will call and tell you that they don’t need your help anymore, despite how bad you need the money. But the call never comes, and the next day you stand in front of the building, desperately trying to take deep breaths and slow your heart rate, bracing yourself for whatever is to come whenever you enter.
This is where Y/N was today, in a mess of shaky palms with slight blue bags under her eyes from a lack of sleep that wouldn’t disappear no matter how hard her concealer tried. She stood in front of the large plate glass window of the cafe, sneaking glimpses and trying to prepare herself for whatever awaited before she actually reached to take the door handle. With a glance at her watch that signaled it was time for her to arrive, she took one last deep breath and entered the small but cozy space.
The cafe itself wasn’t open yet, devoid of customers with only a few lights behind the counter on, but it was full of the delightful and familiar smell of coffee that swirled around her head. The wall to her left was an exposed brick that had been painted white with a long table running along it with stools tucked underneath and a long cafe counter ran the length of the shop to her right. The far back wall of the shop was a giant book shelf with books stacked from the bottom of the top, arranged in a rainbow pattern along each shelf. The store was unbearably charming.
“Hello?” she felt herself call out softly into the empty space. Her voice came out slightly timid, her anxious mind not giving her lips full permission to speak.
She listened to a shuffling and a distant voice muttering “shit,” that seemed to be coming from a door that sat behind the counter where the few lights had been turned on. Before long, a man with curly hair popped his head out from the back hallway, giving her a wide dimpled smile. “Just give me a minute!” he said, holding up his pointer finger for a second, before disappearing back into the hall. After a few more moments of shuffling and muffled cursing, he reappeared. His face held the same dimpled grin as before.
“You must be Y/N,” he said, reaching out a hand for her to shake across the counter. “Boss man said you would be starting today.”
“That’s me,” she spoke gently, still apprehensive in the new surroundings. She placed her hand in his and he shook it with a friendliness she hadn’t expected from her first couple minutes in a new work space. His hand was warm and his nails were painted a bright and sunshiny yellow.
“I’m Harry. It’s great to meet you!” His voice was deep, but light and enthusiastic, far too excited for the early morning calm that she had been reveling in on her walk to the shop.
She decided quickly that he looked like a ‘Harry’ and that his name matched his cheerful disposition. His green eyes shined, even in the relatively dim early morning light that illuminated the room through the front window, and they held a disarming and calming quality that slowed her heart rate for the first time since she had woken up.
“You too.” She forced a smile onto her lips, hoping to conceal the first day jitters that ran through her system.
“Don’t worry about your first day,” he read her like a book. “Everyone here is very nice and you have the best trainer in the world.”
“I’m assuming that’s you?” she questioned, letting out a light chuckle.
“Well, of course it is.”
She was slightly taken aback by the peculiar, yet undeniably charming, man that stood across the counter from her. He was dressed in a loose fitting black sweater that looked cozy and soft, paired with wide-legged tan slacks, all covered with a dark green apron that had the cafe’s logo on the chest. The Busy Bean was embroidered in a light yellow sitting above a mug with a bumble bee on it; it was charming and cute, fitting in well with the plethora of plants and flowers that filled the cafe.
He must have noticed her staring at the logo. “You like the name?” he asked her, pointing at the logo that sat on his chest. She nodded softly, a smile finding its way on to her lips. “We’re going to be very busy beans in about,” he paused to check his watch, “thirty minutes when we open. So put this on,” he slid her very own apron across the counter, “and let's get ready.”
Harry wasn’t lying when he said they were going to be busy.
While the shop had intentionally started her on a Saturday morning when it was usually a bit slower, the morning rush came in and threw her for a tizzy. She took orders and ran them to tables for what seemed like hours, kept far away from the coffee bar as she was unsure of how to make all of the drinks yet. But thankfully, she wasn’t alone.
Soon after opening, another woman arrived, wearing the same dark green apron that matched Y/N and Harry’s. She had long dark hair that fell to the small of her back and in gentle waves and glowing mocha skin with golden eyes. She introduced herself as Isla, with a warm and friendly smile, and stationed herself behind the counter, making drink after drink that smelled intoxicatingly delicious. Y/N thanked god, or whatever was out there, that she and Harry had someone else to help them out while customers flowed in and out of the shop.
Harry hung by her side for the entirety of the morning rush, carefully watching her every move, and gently redirecting her when she seemed to make a mistake. He was kind and she could tell that he genuinely wanted her to learn, not just to do a job well for efficiency’s sake. There was never a trace of frustration on his features, just patience and good will.
Around noon, the flood of patrons looking for their morning coffee began to slow, finally giving Y/N an opportunity to rest. She flopped herself down on a stool that sat behind the counter and released a long sigh, stretching her neck and slumping her shoulders. She was met by sympathetic giggles coming from her two new co-workers.
“Honey,” Isla began with a hint of pity in her voice, “that was nothing.”
“What did I get myself into?” Y/N chuckled through a groan, putting her face in her hands out of exhaustion.
“I promise it gets easier,” Harry chimed in, always one to calm someone’s anxieties. “You just need to get into the swing of things.”
“What I need to do is learn how to make all the fancy coffees that people keep asking me for,” she said, peeking through her fingers at her still amused coworkers.
A look was passed between the two of them, Isla eventually moving out of the way and motioning for Harry to take over the coffee bar. “Come on Baby Barista, lets teach you some of the basics.”
His nickname for her made her release a loud laugh, immediately stifling it to a few giggles when she realized she had caused a few patrons to look up and over at her. Her cheeks warmed instantly, embarrassed for disturbing them, and she added another item to the list of things she was learning never to do again with customers in the store.
He guided her over to the counter full of machinery including pots of coffee, hot water, an espresso machine, and more equipment she couldn’t even identify. He spoke to her gently and gave her all his attention, carefully talking her through how to make a few of the most ordered drinks. Other than almost burning herself a couple times, she was starting to get the hang of it. She had a very hard time wiping the smile off of her face after Harry taste tested each one and gave his seal of approval.
“Not bad, Baby Barista,” he complimented with a dimpled smile and a slight nod after she handed him what she believed was a caramel latte. She reveled in his praise, wanting to do her job well, but also loving his approval and the nickname he had now assigned to her.
They did this coffee lesson for a few more hours, as the shop slowed to almost a complete stop as they got closer to closing time. Isla had headed home and there were only a few stragglers left that had spent their days working or reading in the cafe as the sun began to set around 5pm, with closing at 6. Harry diligently continued to teach her as much as he could in one day as they began to close up the shop and get ready for the next day. He was easy to talk to and their conversation seemed to flow effortlessly as they swept and did dishes.
“So, what brought you to London?” he asked after a short lul, looking at her with an inquisitive look, the ever present dimple on his cheek and grin on his lips disarming her easily.
“Oh, you know,” she stumbled over her words slightly, “I just needed a fresh start.”
“No mysterious or heartbreaking backstory I need to know about?” he quipped, a questioning eyebrow perched on his forehead. She let out another loud laugh, deciding not to quiet herself this time as there was only one customer left in the store.
“No,” she chuckled, shaking her head as she swept. “I got dumped in a small town and needed to get away from them. It was like they were around every corner.” She wasn’t sure why she was telling him this, but he just had a way of pulling the truth from her. “I always dreamed of living here and the breakup was the kick in the ass I needed to actually do it.”
“I’m glad you made it here, but I’m sorry about the breakup.”
“Don’t be,” she smiled. “Definitely for the best.”
“Okay, then I won’t be.” His eyes had a mischievous glint behind them, but she couldn’t exactly place what he was getting at.
They worked together in a comfortable silence after that, making sure everything was ready for the morning to come and clean from the day that was leaving. Y/N covered a yawn as Harry told her that she was done for the day.
As she clocked out and gathered her things, she heard Harry’s voice as she moved towards the exit. “Do you live close by? I can give you a ride if you need. Don’t want you having to walk too far in the dark.” His offer was sweet and made her smile.
“I’m pretty close and I like the walk.” She grabbed onto the handle of the front door but couldn’t make herself leave just yet. “Thank you for being so patient with me today, Harry,” she said looking back towards him and connecting their eyes. She tried to convey her emotions to him on her face, something she wasn’t always very good at.
“No problem. We’re happy to have you here, Baby Barista.”
With a final nod and a light flush to her cheeks, she set off down the street towards her new flat. It wasn’t a long walk, just long enough to get a little chill in her bones from the cold winter air and to turn her nose into a small icicle.
She reflected on her first day as she walked. She liked Isla, and really liked Harry. And while she was very busy, it was good busy, not the type of busy that depletes your energy and makes you want to fall over at the end of the day. It was a kind of busy that kept her on her toes, ready to learn, and develop a skill.
Her thoughts were broken through when she noticed the old beat up red car that seemed to be following her down the road. It drove slowly, as if it didn’t want it to see her, and took extra long at intersections like it was hoping to stay behind her. She took a turn she didn’t need to at the next block, and another after that, and when the car continued to follow, her heart began to race.
She thought about running, or going up to a pedestrian and asking for help; she even considered calling her mum just to stay on the phone with her until she got home. It wasn’t until she recognized the green eyes and dimples behind the wheel that her heart began to slow. She turned around fully then, making eye contact with the man who had been following her, and crossing her arms in front of her and shooting a questioning eyebrow up at him.
He wore a look of shame as his car slowed to a stop in the street next to her.
“Excuse me sir,” she said sarcastically, bending over to look in the window and get a better look at his embarrassed rosey cheeks. “Why were you following me?”
“I wasn’t being a creep, I promise,” he quickly defended. “This neighborhood gets a little dangerous at night and I just wanted to make sure you got home safe.” He looked panicked and frazzled, clearly not planning on being caught. It was the first time she had seen him without a smile on his face all day.
“Harry, you were the thing that was making me feel unsafe,” she said, playfully scolding him through giggles. She watched as his face fell in a flood of relief that she wasn’t angry with him. “If you told me that you were going to follow me home anyway, I would have taken the ride.”
“I’m sorry.” He hung his head and ran a stressed hand through his curls.
“It’s okay, Harry,” she smiled softly. “I appreciate you caring enough to make sure I got home.” She rested a hand on the passenger side door handle. “And now you’re going to drive me the rest of the way home to make up for making me get off my normal route,” she laughed as she pulled on the handle and settled herself into the passenger seat.
The car was old, but clean and it smelled like the cologne he wore that she had picked up on a few times throughout the day. He was quiet, hanging his head like a child who had been caught with his hands in the cookie jar, as she directed him towards her flat. “I’m sorry, again,” was all he said when he pulled up in front of the building.
“Don’t be,” she smirked, using the same words she had earlier in the day when discussing her breakup. She exited the car, giving him a wave, and a call of “I’ll see you tomorrow,” before entering the building and shutting the door behind her.
***
Over the next few weeks, Harry and Y/N became fast friends.
After about a week of begging, she finally broke down and allowed him to pick her up and drive her home from work every day. Their morning rides consisted of the perpetually peppy and excitable morning person in the driver's seat blabbering on about something he saw on the news while he was getting ready or going on about a new book he was reading, while she would settle her still sleepy head on the window and rest her eyes for just a few more minutes before their day was forced to begin. At the end of the day, Harry was the quiet one, letting her recount the day (usually complaining about unruly customers or people that would sit and steal their wifi all day without ordering anything), while he drove her at a painfully slow pace to her flat. He always waited until she got inside the building, even asking her to text him when she got inside her tiny flat.
“I just want to make sure you got inside safe,” he would argue when she teased him about it.
“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” she would rebut.
“Then I’m not coming to help you anymore when you can’t figure out the milk steamer, Baby Barista.”
“Don’t threaten me with that stupid milk steamer. It has so many buttons you need to work for NASA to understand it,” she would groan, only to be met with a teasing glare from the curly man next to her. “Fine, I take it back,” she would always concede.
His protectiveness was not unwelcome to her. If she was being honest with herself, Harry was the only real friend she had made since she made the move to London and she was quickly becoming heart crushingly lonely. She took any care that anyone in the new and scary city was willing to give her with open arms.  
He was her only friend. They got on so well, she couldn’t deny that she enjoyed the extra few minutes she spent with him every morning and evening in the car. Maybe even a little too much.
At work, there was usually a chorus of laughter and giggles coming from their direction as Harry had taken her under his wing while she learned the ropes. There were days they would stay late after they had been off the clock making drinks over and over again; him patiently teaching, and her desperately trying to learn. There were definitely a few failures along the way, but they were always met with a teasing joke and then careful step-by-step directions on how she could fix it.
Technically Harry was her boss, store manager to be specific, but they worked alongside each other seamlessly, him never barking orders at her or using a harsh or authoritative tone.
Until today.
Y/N had been talking to one of their regulars, Robby, after she delivered an Americano to his table in the corner while it was particularly slow. Robby came in often, always shooting Y/N a bright smile and peppering compliments into their quick conversations. He was gorgeous, she couldn’t deny that; he had deep brown skin and an athletic build that she was sure was muscular under the thick sweater he was wearing to protect him from the cold. But he wasn’t her type, a little too arrogant and self-obsessed for her liking, always figuring out a way to turn their quick conversations back to himself. While it was fun to flirt with him, she knew it would never go any further than that.
“When do you get off?” Robby had asked suddenly, derailing their conversation away from the drink she had just delivered him. “I would love to take you out and see you in something other than that god awful apron.”
“Hey! I quite like my apron,” she playfully feigned offense, reaching to lightly swat him on the arm. “And while I appreciate your offer, I just got out of something pretty long term and I’m really not looking for anything right now. I’m sorry, Robby.” She forced a friendly pout onto her face, pretending like she was actually sorry for denying him.
Before he could respond, she heard an annoyed voice call her name from behind the counter. Whipping her head around to see who it was, she found Harry wearing an annoyed and frustrated face she had never seen him make before, especially not directed towards her. “We need some help back here. You have a job to do, remember?” he scolded, eyebrows furrowed and jaw steeled.
Her cheeks flushed white hot, embarrassed to be reprimanded like that in front of the whole shop. She hung her head in shame as she quickly walked back behind the counter. She was beyond embarrassed, suddenly uncomfortable in a place she had finally begun to come into her own in. She was learning and doing a good job, at least that was what she had been told, by both Isla and Harry; but the uneasy feeling in her stomach kept her from feeling comfortable for the rest of the day.
She carefully and quietly navigated behind the counter for the rest of her shift, sheepishly doing her best to stay out of her coworkers’ way and just do her job.
For the first time, she was slapped in the face with the reality that Harry wasn’t just her friend; he was her boss. He had an authority over her, and could probably get her in trouble with the owner, or even fired if he really wanted to. Navigating a business-like relationship was awkward and abnormal for them both, but Y/N decided she needed to learn how to quickly.
There was another reason his silent treatment seemed to hurt, one that Y/N had been trying her best to ignore. An undeniable crush had begun to build in her for the bright and bubbly man, despite however hard she had tried to fight it.
Harry made her feel safe, always keeping an eye out for her and trying to make sure she was alright. He made her laugh more than anyone she had ever known and their chemistry together felt electric. But what warmed her heart, and what now hurt the most, was that it felt like he cared about her just as much as she cared for him.
But now, it all felt like a fairytale she had built up in her head.
Their usual banter and giggles fell quiet for the rest of their day, reducing to curt directions from Harry and understanding hums from Y/N, following his orders without question or comment. Even Isla was quiet, not daring to breach the tension the pair had created between themselves.
The car ride home was quiet and strained that day.
But she still texted him when she was safe inside her flat.
***
While she had prayed that the next day would be like any other, their morning ride to work was filled with much of the same silence.
Harry fiddled with the heat and the radio in an effort to avoid her eyes or having to make conversation, eventually settling on a station that was playing old classic rock she didn’t recognize. He drove like she wasn’t even in the car, staring silently ahead at the road. She sat stiffly in the passenger seat fiddling with her fingers, not daring to get comfortable in a space that was all his.  
At work, they both held tight to the tension, only muttering at each other when absolutely necessary. She kept her head down and just did what she was told to do.
She was at the counter when a woman approached the coffee bar, seeming to bark her order for an extra hot cappuccino with extra foam at Y/N. Her face was twisted into an angry pout, like she had just smelled something bad, and spat her words out her words. Y/N just nodded and breathed a “yes, maam,” unable to fight with any nasty customers today while her head was so occupied with Harry. She was off her game.
The woman hovered at the counter, watching intensely and tapping her foot impatiently as Y/N fought with the dreaded milk steamer attachment to one of their large industrial machines. She would have sworn that she pressed the extra hot setting.
Passing the full mug to the woman at the register, Y/N watched as she took a long sip of the drink before paying, something that wasn’t really allowed, but Y/N just didn’t have the fight in her today to reprimand her.
“That will be £2,” Y/N spoke softly with as much sweetness as she could muster, afraid of what could come out of the woman’s mouth. She watched as her face turned even more sour than before after she finished the long drag from the cup.
“I’m not paying for this,” she declared, nose stuck high in the air.
“I’m sorry?” Y/N asked with confusion clear in her voice. “Is there something wrong with it?”
“It’s not extra hot and there is no extra foam.”
“Okay, I’m very sorry about that,” she said apologetically, even though she knew for a fact the drink had both of those things, and released an exhausted sigh. “I will make you another.”
The woman’s eyes flicked down the counter in Harry’s direction, rudely snapping her fingers at him to catch his attention. He was hunched over the back counter, somehow worsening his already terrible posture, trying to eat a sandwich as fast as he could before his break was over. “Are you her boss?” she shouted at him, even though he could have heard her without raising her voice at him.
Y/N’s eyes were already filled with anxiety when Harry connected his with her’s, seeming to wordlessly ask what was going on and Isla watched on in terror. She felt her body try to shrink away from the woman before her and Harry as he came closer.
“I’m the store manager. Is there something going on that I could help with?” His eyes kept flashing back and forth between Y/N and the woman, trying to decipher the situation without words.
“I want you to remake my drink.”
“I’m actually on a break-”
“No,” she cut him off mid-sentence. “If she makes my drink again, she is just going to fuck it up all over again. She’s obviously incompetent.”
Y/N eyes flew open at her words, a mix of shock and hurt running through her. With her heart beginning to race, never one for confrontation, she wanted to melt into the floor and disappear all together.
Harry’s face hardened at the woman as she hurled insults towards Y/N. Stepping in front of her, as if putting his body between her and the woman could protect her from her harsh words, he took a deep breath before he began to speak again. “First of all, you will not speak to anyone who works here like that,” he defended her. “Second, I’m sure she’s completely capable of making your drink again if you give her a moment.”
“I don’t want her to make it and I have places to be,” she continued to fight. “I don’t have time for some pathetic newbie to give it another try.”
Her comments hit Y/N hard in her existing feelings of inadequacy and before she knew it, her vision was beginning to blur. She felt like this woman was repeatedly kicking her while she was already down.
“You have to leave.”
Harry’s voice was angry. It wasn’t the frustration or annoyance she had heard the day before, and it was a far departure from the kind and patient tone she had grown to love since she began working at the shop. It was full of anger, something she had never heard from him and an emotion she hadn’t even been sure he could feel before this point.
“I’m not leaving until I get another drink that’s correct and free.”
“I will call the cops if you don’t leave right now.”
Y/N couldn’t stand to watch this unfold before her any longer. An anxious weight had settled on her chest and she had felt the tears begin to roll. She was gone from the counter, running towards the soundproof walk-in fridge in the back hall. She planned on shutting herself inside and sobbing until she froze.
She stood in the freezing chill, holding her arms tight to her frame, desperate to keep herself warm and shield herself from the wrath that was playing out in the cafe. The cold seemed to ground her and the distance she had put between herself and the woman eased her stress, but the tears continued to flow as her eyes ran over the stock of the fridge in an attempt to distract herself.
A knock came from outside the heavy metal door that startled her, a soft and patient voice that she knew so well called through. “Y/N, are you okay? Can I come in?”
After doing her best to wipe the tears off her raw and cold cheeks, she choked out a small “yes.”
The door carefully opened and she was met with a soft and empathetic gaze from the only person she wanted to comfort her. He breathed a soft “come here,” before he opened his arms wide. She bolted into them, letting his giant frame envelop her whole in the warmth that always radiated from him. Y/N let herself weep softly into his chest as the dizzying scent of his cologne took over her senses.
He held her close to him for a few moments, letting her get all her emotions out, before releasing her body and taking her face into his somehow still warm hands, using his thumbs to swipe away a few more tears that had managed to escape.
“I don’t think that I even messed her drink up,”she broke the silence, feeling pathetic as he held her in his hands.
“I know you didn’t. She won’t be coming back.”
“Thank you for defending me,” she said, hiccuping as she stared into his comforting eyes. “I feel so stupid. I’m sorry.” She went to pull away, but he continued to hold her close.
“No, this is all my fault,” he shook his head slightly, eyebrows drawn together in concern. “If I hadn’t been such a dick yesterday then none of this would have happened. I’m so sorry.” His eyes held honesty, determined to be granted absolution by the girl before him.
“I don’t like it when we don’t get along,” she squeaked. “I really don’t like it when you yell at me and make me feel like I’m not doing my job well.”
He sighed hard, his face looking like his brain was going a mile a minute. “I have to be honest with you,” he confessed. “I wasn’t acting like an asshole yesterday because you weren't doing your job; you were just doing fine. I was upset you were flirting with that guy.”
She felt her lips fall into a small ‘oh.’ While she hadn’t meant anything by what she thought was harmless flirting, Harry hadn’t known that. The frustration and annoyance she had heard was in actuality all jealousy.
“You were jealous?” she asked softly, bringing a hand up to hold over one of his own that were still holding her face.
“Well, yeah,” he said with an awkward shrug. “I just thought that there might be something between us.”
He looked so adorable like this, slightly uncomfortable and shy. She looked at him intensely as an excited bubble began to form in her stomach at the idea that this massive crush had been mutual the whole time.
“There is.”
She couldn’t hold back her smile any longer, a grin breaking out onto her face as she nodded at him. The cold of the fridge was no longer nipping at her skin, her whole body radiating a flattered and excited blush of heat. The screaming she had just endured felt long behind her although it had only been a few minutes.
He mirrored her giddy expression. She watched as all the tension in his face began to melt away in relief and it reminded her of the look on his face when she teased him after he followed her home that first day.
“Oh, thank god,” he breathed. “I was so worried that you were going to friendzone me forever.”
“I thought you were going to employee-zone me,” she chuckled.
“Are you going to kiss me or keep staring?”
A wide cheeky smile stretched across his lips, before she reached up and connected hers to his. The kiss was caring and sweet, but it felt like it sealed something she had been feeling since the first day they had met.
Their lips moved smoothly against each other, interrupted occasionally by a smile one of them couldn’t contain or a giggle that slipped from one of their mouths. She wasn’t nervous or overwhelmed by his proximity. She was so comfortable in his embrace. He was her best friend, after all.
They broke apart after a few moments, giant grins plastered on their faces that neither of them could manage to wipe away. “I liked that a lot,” Harry beamed, a boyish flush to his cheeks.
“Me too,” she mirrored him.
They spent a few more minutes in the fridge, swirling in a daze of infatuation and affection. “Do you think anyone heard us?” he asked softly, looking over towards the large metal door that had been left open a crack, before it flung open and they were met with a thrilled Isla.
“Yes, I heard you!” she exclaimed. “It’s about time!”
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