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itsajollyjester · 3 months

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I was looking at my drawing I did of Finnick from a few days ago and thought the random stray hair highlights I added actually looked more like gray hairs. And then I couldn't shake the idea of (handsome, darling of The Capitol) Finnick going gray at 24 from all the stess, bad diet, lack of light, etc that he went through at the beginning of Mockingjay

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front-facing-pokemon · 4 months

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#fletchinder #now THIS is an angry guy. they got a big beak and now they're going to stare at you menacingly about it #you better be nice to them. look how grumpy they are #hmph!#kind of an underappreciated pokémon tbqh. route one shitmon‚ sure‚ but i think it's cute and looks cool at least #a fucking! fire bird! that isn't ho-oh or moltres. just a Normal fire bird. love this thing #hi i just edited the talonflame tags to acknowledge 2024 and now i'm here in the fletchinder tags to acknowledge new years eve #i mentioned in the talonflame tags how i'm Considering doing something for new years but that i may end up not doing anything #and ultimately i guess we'll see. it depends on what i end up doing outside the blog whether i end up having the time (or energy) for #like a new year stream or something. i would likely just end up using my own personal twitch account instead of making an ffp one #in case i never end up. using it again #I DUNNO i'll probably just keep talking about maybe doing something until the end of time and never end up doing anything

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bioethicists · 9 months

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irt poverty/homelessness + alcohol use (esp with @butchfeygela‘s tags on my post)- people really underestimate the function that substance use/alcohol use can have for someone who is unhoused. being unhoused is boring, cold, painful, + lonely. substances can allow the 8 hours panhandling to get the $45 you need for a motel to fly by. alcohol reduces your perception of the cold + can knock you out whben you can’t sleep. substances can help you cope with the physical deterioration from malnutrition, constant stress, + sleeping outside. substances can provide social connection with others who you would otherwise not enjoy or help you cope with being alone.

not only that but- many unhoused people are stuck in a seemingly inescapable position. the pathway to financial stability or even housing is difficult or even impossible. in the wake of that hopelessness, the downsides of substance use start to seem insignificant. arrest? you’re getting arrested anyway for sleeping outside, peeing outside, standing in the wrong place, etc. physical danger? you’re already beat the fuck up, anyway, right? loss of relationships? you’ve lost most people already. inability to keep a job? nobody will hire you + you can’t stay employed, anyway, because you have no car + no shower.

perhaps for you or me, the cons of heroin use or binge drinking nightly greatly outweigh the pros. that isn’t the case for everyone. if we are really serious about ending overdose/addiction, we need to start looking at giving people lives worth recovering into instead of shaming them for their own hopelessness.

#i had a long talk with my dad once about how #my brother sank into so much financial despair #that he was never going to be able to find #a livable job or housing (eviction record #plus bad credit plus #arrest record ofc #he was going to be forced into poverty for the rest of his life #the only job prospects he had were menial shit jobs #he once worked at one of those chicken butchering places #it was the only place that paid him a living wage but he got fired for relapsing #his only options were to go to school part time + try to pass with his dyslexia which made him essentially unable to read #then work a horrible shitty job the rest of the time #while paying atlanta's outrageous rent prices #plus who is he gonna room with?? all his friends are opioid users!#while he paid back all the debt he accrued from going to rehab #then MAYBE after like 6 years of school he could get a decent job #but his credit would be in flames for years his eviction record there for years #his arrest record + lack of driver's license limiting his employment..#sorry but i would have probably given up at that point too #not to mention his interpersonal + familial relationships up in flames + the shame #of the things he did while using hanging over his head #the only family member who didn't think he was an irredeemable fuckup (me) living a thousand miles away + about as broke as him #substance use #harm reduction

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luck-of-the-drawings · 7 months

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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.

#cw gore #jrwi riptide #jrwi riptide spoilers #chip jrwi #jrwi fanart #jrwi show #I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE #CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I #EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND #AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY #YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN #THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN #CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION #bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN #AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT #better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible #i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!

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iamnmbr3 · 3 months

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the exchange with Draco at the Quidditch Cup while the Death Eaters are marauding around is so fascinating. On the one hand Draco's being rather horrible.

but on the other hand if you take out the insults and look at what he actually says he does warn them quite strongly several times that they need to get Hermione out of harm's way. he even specifically notes that the Death Eaters will head towards them and that Hermione is in particular danger since they will know her blood status (of course because Lucius is among them and will recognize her).

I don’t think Draco would admit even to himself that he's doing more than gloating but already I think a part of him is a bit conflicted and while the idea of what the Death Eaters stand for seems exciting to him (and is something he's been taught to support), the reality of seeing them actually attack someone he knows makes him uncomfortable.

he's probably grown up around very dehumanizing attitudes about Muggles but Hermione is someone he knows and deep down I think he realizes that she is most definitely a person and while taunting her is one thing, actually seeing harm come to her or to Ron and Harry (who would certainly try to help if she were attacked) doesn't appeal to him the way he's been taught it should.

#Harry Potter #Draco Malfoy meta #Draco Malfoy #hp reread #i don't even go to this ship but i see why the #dramione #shippers go wild over this scene.#harry potter book 4 #harry potter and the goblet of fire #and of course if you ship #drarry #there's lots her too since harry would also be in danger. and since hermione is his friend.#not to mention the more generalizable implications for how the seeds of draco's redemption arc are already being sown tho i don't think he'#consciously thinking anything critical of his side till late book 6 at earliest.#meta #Harry Potter meta

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blackcover · 10 months

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Uhhhhh, surely it's been a quite long while...? Anyway! Yeah, still alive yet apparently not that active anymore. So please bear with my sticking to the older setting because?? BOY HERE HAS BEEN THROUGH A LOT AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN?!

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vladdyissues · 1 month

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Not gonna lie, I think they'd be a super cute couple

#danny phantom #jazz fenton #johnny 13 #i just checked the dp ship name guide and there's no name for these two?? travesty #psychobike? intelluck? fenteen? smartshadow?#i remember rooting for them (uselessly i knew) when i first saw this ep #forbidden love always gets me #au: he never planned to fall in love with jazz. come on. she's so smart and pretty. going places #and he's dumb and ugly and unemployed. not to mention dead #and danny would never accept his sister dating a ghost. it would never work #(this is where i cackle and rub my villainous hands together)#imagine johnny showing up outside fentonworks at midnight #holding up a boombox and blasting judas priest's ''angel'' outside jazz's window #writing jazz's name in spectral fire on the lawn #it's so cute i'm mad

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fantasykiri5 · 5 months

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What is your favorite SmallishBeans skin?

Absolutely insane of you to think I could ever pick just one. Here’s a small selection in rough order, but I think they shift around day to day

Honorable mentions:

This beekeeper I didn’t know existed until I went looking just now but it very pretty especially with the flowers at the waist

And this guy (bald face looking ass… his regular skin doesn’t even have a beard but this is so uncanny to me… maybe it’s the lack of green in his skin tone paired with the lack of facial hair that scares me. Either he get to be pink or he gets to have a shaved face. Not both. (It is pretty though. I should go look for a link to who make the skin))

#sorry but both mezalia fits are WAY to cunty to not mention #and I really like greaser looks so bad boys Joel is at the top too #enjoy the contrast on the og red skin- he’s the only one that made hair and clothes grayscale too #really makes the red pop #and the Blazeborne fit will always fuck severely you will never change my mind #semi unrelated point: og blazeborne Joel and kind Lin are DEFINITELY the same person #old old guy. same fire guy. change my mind #kiri rambles #joel smallishbeans #I’ve also noticed that with 90% of the skins where he wears a crown it’s always got this hole in the middle? and it shows off his hair and-#-I’d like to think that that’s a piece of hair poking out of the hole like a backwards baseball cap #I would put his regular skin on here somewhere but the limit is 10 I think so I can’t #it’d be fairly middle/high though

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captain-amadeus · 1 month

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#roland is perfect when it comes to playing sports with his kids #literally plays badminton with an on fire birdie #this isn't even mentioning the time he faked being bad for Quon during Tri-Kingdom Picnic #and an entire tree caught on fire #blazing badminton is so cool though #he was also wondering where sofia went #so like anyone saying he ditched sofia to play with amber is wrong #because amber wished for roland was allergic to sofia #so he would spend more time with her #it's clear she feels like she isn't getting as much attention as before #meaning roland focuses on sofia too #stf #sofia the first #sofia the fandom #king roland ii

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toyybox · 28 days

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Spiderwebs #30: Preparation

Masterlist

content: no warnings :)

• —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

It was a lot like planning for a vacation, but more stressful. For Heather, at least. Her packing had the frantic, frenzied pace of a burrowing shrew. She came up with a list of things to bring: clothes, food, money, a weapon—better safe than sorry, she told him—coats, water, more food? Toothbrushes, soap, sedatives—she wouldn’t offer an explanation for this one—buy gas, gloves, boots, and so on.

Jackie certainly wasn’t taking this any more seriously than a vacation. He hadn’t gone outside in a while, and besides that, he hadn’t left the vicinity of Heather's house for several months now. He found himself curious as to what it’d be like. Had the world changed at all while he was gone? No longer was he privy to the knowledge free men took for granted. News never reached his secluded life. He wouldn't know if there was high water coming or if the Swedes landed on the sun.

Like Heather, he also packed a few things. Nothing impressive. A new book from Heather’s shelf—something by Oscar Wilde about a portrait—alongside his clothes, a pencil and paper, the dollar bill he'd taken from Matthew, and one of Heather’s old backpacks to carry it all.

On the second day, she also handed him a heavy, black wool coat. It went a few inches below his hips, and was studded by brass buttons all along the front.

“I think it looks good,” she offered.

It did look very intimidating in the mirror. He pulled the coat off and shrugged. Petty things like vanity no longer appealed to him. There was no time for such luxuries. He could remember being invested in his appearance, long ago. He missed being able to care about stupid things. He missed buying his own clothes. Heather’s fashion sense was okay, but it wasn’t the same.

There was also the matter of the cop, with his warning of returning in two weeks or so. Evidence was key, and they needed it gone. With a gallon of gasoline and an old firepit in the yard, Heather burned the tapes, the cassette recorder, the polaroids of Jackie’s open chest and exposed organs, hell, even the ropes. It all went up in flames, went black and curled around the edges, until there was only a pile of ash and char. She cleaned the blood off her tools and gutted the house of stains from the inside-out.

The third day arrived with a flurry of snow outside. The intensity of the sun was wholly unfamiliar to Jackie, and it took a minute for his eyes to adjust. They shoved their luggage into the back of the car. Jackie was happy to learn that he could sit in the front.

“What?” she said when he let out a sigh of relief. “Did you think I’d keep you in the trunk?”

He laughed at this, but it was an uneasy smile he wore. It was hard to tell with her. What sorts of things she found ridiculous, and what lines she wasn’t opposed to crossing.

Still, things were generally okay. He was safe. He was out of the silence, out of the isolation, and he felt okay. He felt happy. Before this, his happiness was brief and based on whatever small luxury could distract him. Maybe a painkiller, maybe a break from the tests. But his happiness now was more of a pervading contentment. It was a constant, heavy high in his heart, felt in the far edges of his soul.

Although he had found it redundant, Heather had an idea with strings of thread. Before they left, she taped up a string near the front door, and also to the hallway’s entrance. This, she informed him, would reveal if anybody had come in and searched the house. The thread would snap easily when someone walked through it. It wasn’t clear what the benefit of this knowledge was, if she would go to jail either way, but it seemed to calm Heather down a bit.

The wind scratched at Jackie’s face when he stuck his head out the window. The flecks of falling snow pierced his skin. The cold stung his eyes, making them water. He didn’t care. The feeling of movement and freedom was exhilarating. Heather started the car with a jerk of the gear shift. And off they went, out of the house, into whatever lay behind the highways and empty roads.

He rolled the window up after a while, then turned to her. “How long are we leaving for?”

“Three weeks.” Her grip on the steering wheel was tight enough to nearly bruise. “Longer, if we need to.”

“Where are we going?”

“I don’t know. Stop asking me questions, I’m going to be sick.”

Indeed, her expression had not shifted from dull panic. There were dark circles under her eyes. Something played on the radio, but the melody was too quiet to recognize. She turned it off with a small, barely noticeable frown.

Jackie left the subject alone and leaned his face against the window. This was the best day of his life, he thought.

The sky was starting to turn black. They left the house late, to draw as little suspicion as possible. Streetlights shone like cat’s eyes on the sides of the road, streaky and long with motion. He thought he saw a few people, passing by, their faces blurry and indistinct. There were trees, pines with bristling needles, bare birches, old oaks. Snow stained the sidewalks in shades of dirty white. There were one or two other cars, but not many. Maybe it was a holiday. Maybe it was Christmas.

“What’s the date?” he asked.

“I told you, stop asking—” The tension eased from her shoulders, but only slightly. “Sorry. I’m tired. I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

Well, he could wait. He was good at waiting. Jackie wondered how long he had been waiting, locked down there—it could have been weeks or years, and he would never know. But that was behind him, now. That was in the past. He could file it away with all his other bad memories. There was no point in dwelling on it. He had lived, and he would continue to live, and that was all. It was nothing to worry about.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Taglist:

@theelvishcowgirl

@lthrboy

@whumpy-wyrms

@yassifiedinformation

@creppersfunpalooza

#whump #whump writing #my writing #Spiderwebs toyybox #this one's just a short plot-relevant chapter #Road trip yay!!!#best part of a road trip is listening to a FIRE MIXTAPE!!!! 🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯 unfortunately Heather is a LOSER!!!!!!!!! 💥💥💥#There's no music but at least Jackie can stare silently out of a window for 5 hours #Look the bar is really low at this point he's having the time of his life #Since the gang will be out and about I should mention I don't live in Washington State so I am using a map #This trip would technically only be half an hour #but Heather takes a bunch of detours because she doesn't know anything about travelling (or where she's going for that matter)#so it's going to be a long drive after all...

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pbaintthetb · 2 months

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anyway part of the reason I think so much about a "Ryunosuke dies on the Burya instead" au is because, as we see, Ryunosuke uses Kazuma's death to become better. It's huge for his character and it influences him, but it's a point of growth

I feel like Kazuma would use Ryunosuke's death to become worse. And that's very fun.

#great ace attorney #kazuma asogi #also as mentioned becuase ryunosuke is a stowawy there is fun with that and it's a different kind of guilt #when your friend was only there to be killed becuase you smuggled him aboard #officially he never died because he never boarded that ship to go missing on it #but you know his corpse is at the bottom of the sea bed and how could that not drive you to destruction?#also i think kazuma nad sholmes have so much potential the extra showed it #they would get on like a house on fire... one way or a nother #for better or worse #also susato! like she's obviously sympathetic but she doesn't know ryunosuke #and also her friend is sort of more implicated in a death than ryunosuke was and they can't bond over the death of someone they both cared #this is not meant to shaft her this is meant ot put susato in a very intersting position where she sees the man she admired getting more #and more like a strnager and how she deals with that while being in a strange land nad wanting to help #gaac

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catgrandpa · 6 months

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I am a staunch supporter of Hawks x the Todoroki family. That sounds bad but I promise it’s not in a weird way.

Obviously it would be separately and also not illegal for Shouto.

Endeavor/Hawks is like hero worship and falling into bed together a few times after a rough fight. Enji insists it means nothing and it’s just a way to deal with the excess adrenaline and it’s not happening again. It happens again. It happens a lot of agains.

Now…. Rei/Hawks? Hell. Yeah. Not romantically, this is purely sexual. Hot Young Hero Gets Pegged By Sexy Milf Divorcee. I can see the hub logo already. Idk how they’d meet tbh maybe he saves her or she divorced Enji rather than… what happened:/ But they meet and sparks immediately fly, and he takes her back to his penthouse and they freak it.

Dabi/Hawks. Classic. My favorite. Sweet and spicy. The tension and the romance is unparalleled. I don’t even need to type any of this out because what happens in canon is already perfect enough. If all of these ships happen in the same universe, this is endgame. But also, if these all happen in the same universe, the first family dinner where Touya brings his bf home and the room is just full of people hawks has slept with… delightfully awful.

Fuyumi/Hawks is where we start to get some sweet innocent dating. Maybe they met while Hawks did a press assembly at her school. Maybe the kids staged a meet cute or smth, parent trap style. They date for a few months, and spend a handful of nights together, but ultimately decide that neither of them are in a spot in their lives where they can pursue a serious relationship. They part on good terms, and occasionally still talk as friends.

Natsuo/Hawks. Baby’s first one night stand 🥰 buuuttt it turns into booty call for sure. Natsu is freshly 18. He’s finally his own person. He’s in university, he has his own apartment. Things are good. So he goes clubbing and meets the youngest hero to reach top 10, and he just so happens to want to go home with him. They toe the line of booty call and friends with benefits, but they don’t really hang out much because hero work and university are Very time consuming.

Shouto/ Hawks. Stop side eyeing me, I said it wasn’t weird or illegal. I intentionally put a space after the slash, it’s unrequited. Hawks was simply Shouto’s sexual awakening, just as I’m sure he was many other kids that age. Shouto never had any sort of attraction to anyone until Hawks showed up in the hero scene. At first he saw his press debut and was just ‘oh wow that man is very attractive. Guess I’m mildly attracted to boys now.’ And then he saw Hawks on tv, covered in soot, walking out of a burning building while holding a baby in one arm and a kitten in the other and he decided then and there that he would never look at another man in his life because no one could ever compare.

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zukosfires · 16 days

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it amazes me how zuko lived a good portion of his life thinking he was a bad firebender. like yeah, if he’s comparing himself to the best three firebenders in existence (azula, ozai, and iroh) , his skills aren’t going to look amazing. but if he looked at literally any of the other thousands of fire benders out there, he’d realize he’s significantly better than them. bro was 16 years old defeating generals and soldiers with decades more experience than him. i’d say the one thing that really limited his ability was the source of his bending, which he changed in season three. so even when he was drawing his fire from anger and was objectively at his worse, zuko was still a force to be reckoned with.

#atla #zuko #poor guy was stuck knowing he’s related to the greatest fire benders in existence and just couldn’t get past it #even by the end of the series you kind of realize the skill zuko and iroh have is different than ozai and azula #i don’t know how to put it but it’s more genuine and relies and less raw power if that makes sense #I’m not even going to mention his sword and combat skills #like the stronghold episode? who else could do that?#if everyone got their bending taken away I think zuko could def hold his own #while a lot of other benders would struggle with it #I’m not going to talk about jeong jeong dude was a hater #yes this was prompted by my last reblog lol

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lillyosaurus · 1 year

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dont you want to become a cult leader

why does nobody (aka the books) not bother to think of the impact darkstalker left on pyyrhia after he was defeated.

#cult mention #cult tw #i think people should do more with darkstalkers impact on pyyrhia as a whole #this all powerful kid killed his dad swore vengeance on the icewings and just left #i think there would probably be groups dedicated to ‘finding’ him in a sense #or just being entirely mythologized and being portrayed as something akin to cuthlu #anyway darkstalker is very. not underused but handled incorrectly in the books #in my opinion #i know not too many dragons were aware of darkstalkers existence (even though. probably should’ve been) i just wish there was a bit more #emphasis on how he left a terrible stain on pyrrihan history rather then oh’look at him he’s a little bit sympathetic’#dunno why Tui even tried to write him like that that was jncredibly weird #anyway here you go #wof #wings of fire #my art #wof darkstalker #darkstalker wof #king Darkstalker #nightwing royal family #nightwing #icewing #icewing royal family

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the-fab-fox · 1 year

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"Hmm?"

Ashe tilted his head, his freckles standing out from his pale skin in the bright light of the day.

"I'm sorry, Yuri... What did you say?"

Yuri grinned one of his knowing smiles and shrugged.

"Oh, just that it's refreshing to know someone who is just happy to be themselves. Proud to be even." He then snorted. "I can't even leave my room without my clothes neatly pressed and my make up on. But you just go out into the world as you. No apologies given. Not that they're any to give but, you know what I mean."

Ashe, blushing, shook his head and laughed his unfairly cute laugh.

"You're the least apologetic person between the two of us, Yuri!"

Yuri laughed again and nodded.

"Fair point."

He leaned in and placed a hand on Ashe's thick right thigh, squeezing lightly.

"I'm not going to apologize for this... But only because I don't think I have to," he murmured. Then, without warning—although Ashe supposed Yuri had warned him to some extent—the lavender haired boy kissed him.

After getting over his initial shock, Ashe brought a hand up to grip at the others clothes, tugging them to pull Yuri closer. When the kiss ended, Yuri—ignoring the heat rising up his neck—cleared his throat.

"I think we should find a room—yours is probably closer."

Ashe laughed, the sound; a charming jingle in his head.

"So eager... It's cute."

"Hey. I'm allowed to be eager! I mean... Just look at you."

He waved his hand at Ashe's whole body. The boy giggled.

He actually giggled.

Saints help him.

"You just gestured to all of me."

Yuri nodded firmly. "You better believe I meant all of you. Both inside and out, you are beautiful, Ashe Ubert."

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marshmallowgoop · 2 years

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Hey, Hattori. Have you ever... killed someone?

#detective conan #case closed #conan edogawa #heiji hattori #narumi asai #my amvs #amv #eye strain #suicide mention #song is 'start the machine' by helen trevillion (linked above)#so i started this on a whim but got stuck so started the 🏍 edit on another whim #(but less of a whim than this one lol that one actually had a planning document prior to adding transitions ^^;)#once i finished the motorcycle edit i decided to come back and finish this one but...#not to be personal on main but i made this because i was feeling awful about myself and so much of the process made me feel even worse #i'm still not sure how to feel about this edit but i did work hard and hope others can get something out of it 🙏#it's just one of the most heartbreaking parts of the series to me--that shinichi wants to save *everyone* but here he fails #and more than that he blames himself for it; he feels that it's his deduction that led narumi to start that fire #and while i didn't use the funi eng dub here (i would have liked to but they changed the line to 'i can't imagine ever killing myself')#one thing that gets to me about the funi script is this additional line where conan admits to heiji that he was too small to stop narumi #because i think that's another element of his guilt--he wasn't big enough or strong enough to save her #and while he's not talking about akemi here i think he feels the same about her #that if he had never followed gin and vodka that night at tropical land he could have saved both her and narumi #(it didn't work but i tried to add akemi to the video... something gets me so much about how she and narumi call conan 'little detective')#ramblings aside sources are episodes 11 78 and 1001 plus tv special 6 (episode one: the great detective turned small)#and do support helen trevillion! loved her music when i was younger and it was a happy surprise to find her making new stuff now #would love to do a heishin fancam with that 'with you' track but told myself i should get current with the series first ^^;#still at like ep 540 because i've been making fancams of the show instead of watching the show ^^;

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