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#his pain and vulnerability are treated with gravitas
frumfrumfroo · 4 years
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I always think it’s interesting how many people who align themselves with queerness/wokeness in fandom end up exclusively stanning the most conventional heroes. They prefer altering characters like Thor or Poe as representation, “lesbian icon Thor” or “gay Poe” when those characters are some of the most ideally masculine in their respective stories. And they shame the fans of characters who are *minimally* non-masc, usually in ways that reinforce patriarchal ideas like male emotionality=weakness
It does seem that way, doesn’t it. All the ‘why stan Kyle when P0e is right there’ type anti bullshit, and their constant bizarre insistence that he’s always been a super important lead character on par with Rey and F/nn so you’re ‘erasing’ him by not treating him that way. Which is clearly *ist.
Meanwhile, P0e was a cardboard cut out of ‘The Ace Pilot’, which is definitely one of the most cliché, most conventionally masculine hero archetypes in film history. It was a Dead Horse Trope in the eighties (Flasheart from Blackadder is a parody). In TFA he was a plot device, which is why he is an instantly recognisable stock character- that’s all that was needed.Rian did a little self-aware comment on it in TLJ, which gives him a bit of edge, but it’s not a deconstruction and he remains fairly flat. He’s now a supporting character, developed just enough for that role.
SW is super old fashioned and these old fashioned serial tropes are totally fine but he’s not a character with depth and he was never intended to carry a major plotline, so the treatment of him in the fandom (and the press) as ‘beloved leading man who could totally end up with Rey’ is pretty transparent.
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d3monslust · 3 years
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𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 - 𝐀.𝐃.
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𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: Only setting up traps for them , Andy didn't see any of this coming
𝐖𝐂 : 3,151
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: pregnancy, mentions of miscarriage & abusive relationships , cheating , manipulation , violence
𝐀/𝐍 : tumblr deleted the original and I thought for couple of minutes I haven’t backed it up to the point I had a panic attack :) also I worked really hard for this , any kind of interaction is appreciated!!
////////////////June 7th 2020\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Every story has a happy ending , where the villain gets defeated and the heroes win , but in eden , no one could recognize the corruption and the decent. Everyone hid their darkest and filthiest desires deep down inside them , in their abyss of their souls . Andy knew that , from first hand . He was still getting to know the place , the idle juveniles laying in the sandy beaches , the laughs of the middle aged men echoing through the thickness of the trees’ leaves . A literal paradise ... with no God .
Dolan had promised his wife to keep her safe, and eventually after his decadence , he was more fazed than anything . Their inseparable form could be made out from kilometers ago, their vivid and full of life auras leaving hints of sunshine from time to time . Winning the couple of the year and being stunned was not in their plans but the did not dodge it . Until Dolan started venturing at inexcusable bars , reciprocal pink lipstick decorating one side of his neck while he reclined next to his bond , mumbling about his ambiguous accomplishments. He had her to the point , Mariah felt overwhelmed. The weight of his nifty assets , the gravitas of his clumsy , yet anticipated acts made her scream and wince .
But Mariah David Dolan , did not intend on giving up so easily , only because her husband was demonstrating his incompetent self . Haphazardly, or not , the female found herself at Sherlock’s , who fasty evaluated and corrupted all of her nasty problems . Taken the right measurements, Mariah decided to treat themselves to a dinner , the brunette averting his gaze back from his laptop to his wife. “Did something happen ?” Mariah never cooked , even at special , “crowded” occasions , she wouldn’t lay a finger at the metallic kitchenware . “No . I just though about all the work you’re recently hooked with. A nice dinner with your wife would help you blow off some steam” smirking at the fit of the last words, she left Dolan alone, drowning in his intellectually safe thoughts.
The capriciousness of the vexing atmosphere made the couple exchange some absurd looks. With Andy being the always tired one, sexual intercourse was lost long ago . “Something you would like to say ?” “No .” She went for a debate , any sort of the key for relationships , communication. If that clink unraveled , there would be no sweet salvation for the married couple . “Well , I want to say something.” Andy whispered a silent “go on” as one of their housekeepers wiped off him some of the pasta’s sauce . “I’m pregnant .” the brunette almost choked at the hear , she couldn’t be . “What ?” voice so small , the trait of vulnerability showing .
The fraction made his stomach toss and turn with anticipation, his dreams for the unknown slowly falling apart . “I’m pregnant on the 3rd month .” eyes infested with fury , the blue like sea color dissipated. “And when were you planning on telling me , hm ? When the waters would broke ? Or when the bump would start to show ? Or when you couldn’t fucking miscarriage?” his excessive, painful words ventured to withhold her insurmountable fury . Unceremoniously, his unbeatable character almost took back his sharp words , the marvel Mariah always waited for could intervene their scold and corrupt his grudge . Albeit she had cried and prayed for that baby to come , her husband didn’t yearn it .
“Did you talk to the gynecologist? Can you ?” he stated chastely , reclining his tensed back to the chair . Who could envision Andy Dolan with a child ? The reluctance became vexing , the tension had to be dwindled if she wanted to keep that inexcusable -for him- child . “Yes . We ... discussed and he said that I cannot ... get rid of it .” her unconvincingly words passed from the one ear to the other . He abruptly threw his crystal glass at the respective wall , agitating the woman to run to clean the mess . The hot , ambiguous tears wetting her cheeks . “Cant you just love me ?” she mumbled , her fasty movements elicited a cut from the sharp glass . She hissed at the pain , she wanted to resemble the perfect , sincere , housewife Andy pleased . To conquer the theme , so as to stand next to him with all her lucid pride while clutching his right hand .
And the things became even worse , chaos consuming the island , darkness drowning the residents . But the worst was Andy’s behavior shift . The unintelligible man faltered and his intriguing about his serene family faded , woefully leaving only his malice and possession . Fighting with his own demons , his rigid and virile facade came and ended up resented . The 24-hour absence of the paternal figure made the child cope with egregious insults and quarrels . Curling up in her little bed , her hands covering the ears as not to listen his beloved parents . Was her the reason they fought every night ? And as the family withered , Andy prepared to hit with sweet and sour vengeance .
“Please ...” the woman begged , the tears blocking her already blurry vision . Fatigue in her system degenerating, she tried to refrain this , but Dolan’s wrath could not be avoided . “Please what , hm ? You had a fucking debt ! Look after that damned child . And I swear to god Mariah ^ if something had happened to my daughter!” he scolded . “Oh come on ! Stop acting like you care ! You never did ... you never cared about your family .” His intimidating methods would usually work , and if not he would try for the vicious skin-to-skin contact . Slapping her and looking her terribly weak silhouette, squirming and crying under him . She remained frigid , not wanting to get that answer , Mariah ran to the basement , advancing around the marble halls like a lost puppy . Andy rubbed his stressed temple , waiting for his own kind of wonder to come and take him from this type of hell . The paradise where demons are hidden .
Andy never wanted to become one of them. That vicious, hungry, creatures . Demons . The olds said that if somebody approached the North river he would see a little red creature . A graceful , gorgeous demon . That was bullshit , demons didn't exist , his friend Michael had told him , that poor man - he had taken the subject of claiming to be the Antichrist of the end times too thick . He ended up at an asylum - good man , sick brain . “What are you thinking ?” . God , or whoever , heard him sent him his guardian angel . The nifty woman was everything he wished for . A real living angel . And that chaste, naive flirt shifted into this; whatever that was.
“Nothing to be honest . But let’s not talk about me , hmmm ?” the girl nodded heartily . Y/N had found her person , the one she could trust and never receive betrayal , the one she could cry at and talk about her insurmountable problems . Their meeting was casual - one , two drinks exchanged , some additional winks and the saccharine act of sex to help Y/N realize her feelings. When she was with him , the blithe and sybarite feeling would bloom inside her , becoming as beautiful as a sanguine rose . She chuckled at his works , could describe him as selfless ? No . But to her ... yes . Her despondent self hid his abusive and possessive persona . For her eyes and only , Andy Dolan was a god , innocent and perfect . “I wanted to ask about ... the divorce ? When are you two signing it ?” he had to be astute and answer handily . But they answer was always the same “Oh sweetheart, don’t worry . Mariah is a bit pertinacious but I’ll persuade her , okay ?” and she would fall at the trap , again .
“You’re always answering the same !” maybe today she would revolt and fortunately leave the poisonous love of Andy’s . His eyes shone dangerously, he didn’t want to do this . “Y/N’s not like Mariah” he would remind himself , but the poor girl was sticking her nose almost everywhere . “Aren’t you pleased , hm ? I took you from that fucking clinic , I helped you withdraw and this is your thank you ? I’m disappointed in you , Y/N .” his esoteric character on sight again . His cogent and invidious words caused the sentient girl spill the salty water . The male disdaining to help or comfort . “You deserve this anyway .” she stumbled back , her apprehension increasing whilst seeing him standing up from the bed . That absurdity had to stop , but he had saved her and it was her time now .
As Andy returned home , and the futile try to persuade his wife about the divorce exhausted him , he found himself at his daughter’s room . Observing her sincere and innocent moves . “Daddy ?” “Yes , Baby ?” his far-fetched sweet talk made the two smile in sync . The blonde’s smile making daddy crack . “Can I tell you something?” Andy nodded , hoping the child wouldn’t have read any of his recreational messages . “Mommy told me the reason she doesn’t want you two to break up !” his eyes lit up at her appendix . Perhaps it was the money or the child but anyway - Andy had to know . “What’s that ?” patting his lap for the girl to sit , Hera made herself comfortable at the warmth of his legs . “She said that she won’t let you fool around with every individual who has two holess.” “She said what ?!?!” “Yes , yes but what did she mean when she said “every individual with two holes .” ?” “Not now , Hera .” he quickly placed the kid down , as she sulked at her daddy’s extraordinary behavior.
By the time Andy stated the predicament , Mariah had ruminated on her terms . She should have said this , fuck she really shouldn’t . Her dull and attention-seeking words pushed her husband’s last buttons . “Are you fucking braindead ? What was that you said to my daughter ?!” she knew where that debate would end up . Condescendingly , she wrapped her arms around his neck . Her touch-starved grating amusing his carnal urges . Not wanting to dwell on the situation , Andy let it happen . Her amorous posture , the well-med hair , how didn’t he feel it coming ? Her hands traveling at his shirt’s buttons while Andy’s fingers went for her top . Discarded clothing were soon decorating the floor of their kitchen . His greed for more would eat him up one day . And he waited - patiently and calmly for that day . Her tenuous dominance caused waking up his boredom. But his prurient mind , thought otherwise.
She licked his upper lip , Andy letting her tongue slip into his mouth . The sloppy kiss turning into something more passionate, more loving . “I’ve missed this .” she mumbled in between breaths , making a smirk plaster on Dolan’s face . “I’ve missed you .” he hushed her by kissing her , the loving , lingering kiss making butterflies fly in her stomach . “Andy ?” he groaned at the call , not wanting to eye roll , he approved the question and motivated to go on . “Do you love me ?” “Yes. Only you . And no one else . I know things are hard right now but I’ll make it up to you.”
Bare bodies tangled . Two bodies in one . His hips snapped viciously at hers , hand grabbing a harmful fist of hair . Abruptly pulling it back , making Mariah hiss at the sudden contact of pain . The persona she would only see , not even Y/N , the sadistic one . Her head touching his sweaty torso , the tears in her eyes strengthening his stamina . The coil in her stomach tightened and as the loved noticed it - his hands traveled between her puffy lips , toying with her little bud . “I’m .... im-” her muffled cries interrupting her . “I know baby . Cum , cum with me .” and the coil in her belly broke synchronized with his . The addicting feeling of euphoria engulfing them both . “You did so well .” his sugary words causing her pride to rise , awaking her love for him . Just like the old times . “I love you , Mariah .” she perched at his tight embrace , inhaling his intoxicating scent . “Mhm me too .” she had to savor the moment . Mariah didn’t know what could possibly find her tomorrow .
////////////////
And as Andy distanced himself from Y/N, he kept his promise and made up the tangle. At least everything that could be fixed . The insuperable bond they created was ineffable. The somnolent love , almost dead , rose back from the dead . His pernicious and arcane self opened at his therapist . The Dolans couldn’t be happier . Apathy no longer lived between them . No invidious implication wafting around the tensed atmosphere. Just some more scarce , anticipated details and Dolan would finally fall into blithely.
Andy planted the usual good morning kiss on his wife . Excusing himself for his aimless absence on lunch and venturing to the car . The fraction of 2 to months without seeing Y/N, made him tacit. Where was the power Dolan’s hold ? He couldn’t falter, not now. He would withhold and keep things conservative. His conscience screamed no , but he shut it off , not wanting to trust his instincts . Choosing the obliviousness.
Approaching her modern like house , the cars of topical police confused his comprehension. Incompetent to walk inside , albeit he promised not to care - a part which was got circumvented - some of his worry remained to Y/N . “Officer , is she okay ?” the concern in his eyes made the blue - dressed man doubt his accusation . “Sir , are you Mr.Dolan ?” the man let his white scribbling block down , paying full attention to the brunette . “In the flesh .” two more patrols approaching, no feeling of timidity in their eyes . His envision had to be mendacious . A prosaic one , more realistic. “Andy Dolan you are arrested for the murder of Y/N Y/L/N” his conception blurred, everything changing into automatic. His eyes caught the figure of his wife talking to another police man - she wouldn’t? Would she ?
Everything happened so quickly, the metal handcuffs were clutched onto his hand, the ignominious state making him sentient. He would go to prison and there was no denial in that . At least he would leave Eden .
/////////////// Now \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
He had learnt the news . Mariah was in all this . She had been informed about Andy’s illegal affair , not only with women but with drugs , too . On the one side, she had managed to plan her husband’s perfect suicide but the contradiction she received made her tentative. Therefore she visited the professionals . Sherlock’s beneficial - for both Mariah and him- and handily trap got Dolan arrested . They had planned everything, even the littlest detail . The plan was easy , yet complicated.
He would wake up at 7:15 a.m. as always . Head to the kitchen to make his morning coffee , catch up with Mariah who would accidentally leave the house . His phone would remind him about his last meeting with Y/N , where she would end up thing with him . Or what Mariah had decided to do for her . Y/N had left the island months ago when Mrs.Dolan appeared in her house and threatened to kill her and her soon-to-be-born child. As Andy would drive his way , Sherlock would leave his fingerprint everywhere , placing them carefully at the edges of the gun . Next step would be Y/N’s doppelgänger, nice and murdered next to the white rug .
-
The unbearable route of the dull prison . The thousand of men behind the metal bars , hungry for every kind of fight and sexual intercourse nettled his every atom . Compelling himself not to communicate with anyone , Andy , who had received a life imprisonment lost and the last bit of faith . There was no salvation for him , it never existed . “You have a letter .” the word taking him out of his dwelling thoughts. His family never sent him letters , not that they were coming . Drugs were forbidden, or that was the law applied . “Sender ?” “Unknown .” Andy wasn’t in the mood for playing games . This almost one years in prison erased all of his lenient future. Additionally, alleviating his last mendacious fantasies about life .
Taking the rigid piece of paper , the handwriting of a woman caught his attention . Refraining himself from toring it apart and throwing it to the trash can , he want for abstinence. Cutting the edges with a small knife which used to hide right down his pillow , the form a photo fall on the floor . Inhaling a piece of pure reluctance , Andy took the shiny piece of paper between his hands . The silhouettes of two girls laughing at each other quirked his eye brow . But her ineffable and disheveled beauty stopped his breath . A baby adjoining her side , made him caught the implication . The transparent eligibility to join this family causing him to incandescent. That was his child and his Y/N .
Last thing , eyes traveling at the bottom of the photo
- SHOT WITH NIKON 456 | 6/4/2021 | 7:56 p.m.
And they were alive .
////////////////////////////////////////
Tag list ; @ferndolan @brooklinn13 @lavenderahs @mllxngdonswife @kitty4860
If anyone wants to be removed or added just say it lol
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jaskiersvalley · 4 years
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Look I knew from things my friend reblogged that you have A Gift but now I'm following you and crying every time you post because it is ALWAYS top quality and I am but a poor little goblin with Feelings. You are my favorite and I love you. (also "oh what a hairy valley it is" is fucking hilarious I laugh every time I read it)
You are my new favourite and I love you too! Especially because you find “oh what a hairy valley it is” funny. As thanks, I hope you like a bit of a twist on the Witcher Wolf Pack and their Bard in a modern setting.
Street life was harsh but the wolves had learned how to play the game over the decades. Witchers had become nothing more than myths and they had died out. Or rather, they faded from visible existence and found ways to get with the times. But nobody really wanted grizzly, musclebound men with facial scars so the wolves of Kaer Morhen were left behind by society. It wasn’t like they could get paperwork and ID needed for work and rent, so they lived on the fringes, accepted the ‘help’ of a sorcerer. It wasn’t much better, living on the streets as wolves most idiots mistook for large dogs. But at least they could slink around relatively undisturbed. They could shift forms as they needed but most of the time, they remained four legged.
They had a whole system worked out, honourable as much as thieves could be. Because they needed to steal, needed food and money to survive. The back alley that they’d pulled blankets and cardboard boxes to had become home. But they couldn’t live off things they fished out of the dumpster all the time. It was how they ended up with a range of schemes and ploys.
Easiest was the sad, scared puppy game. It was one that Lambert excelled at, looking vulnerable. If he rolled in a puddle first, he could look exceptionally pitiful. His scars showed up the least too and, as the youngest, he often got the most response. Some days he would hang around outside a food shop and whimper at those going in. The more generous humans would emerge with their shopping plus a little something for him. When something was thrown his way, Lambert would snatch it out of the air and run, hide the stash until he could haul his trophies home to share.
More elaborate was the teamwork of Vesemir and Eskel. They didn’t pull it off often because it was much more dangerous for them both. At some traffic lights where cars were slowing down, Eskel would step in front of a car and get clipped. He’d perfected the art of just getting a glancing bruise on his shoulder but it sounded impressive enough. Once the car stopped, Vesemir, in his grizzled old glory, would fling himself in front of the car with a whimpering howl. That usually got everyone’s attention, the poor old dog, shaking and quivering on the floor. It was enough of a distraction for Eskel to shift to human form and dive into the car, pulling anything of value out. They had to be so careful, not taking anything from those who obviously were in need. That was on top of the constant worry that Eskel could actually get hurt or Vesemir would get carted off to the pound. But the few times they did it, they often got enough things to pawn or, once, a shopping bag full of party food.
Geralt was too bulky to look sad in front of a shop, he got chased with a broom more often than not. He also didn’t have Eskel’s light fingers to steal from cars or Vesemir’s gravitas to look convincingly injured. What he could do though was pickpocket and steal bags. It was so easy to walk pad through a square, a stray dog nobody paid attention to. A snout in a passing pocket resulted in a mouthful of wallet. And the times someone put a bag down to look at their phone or, rarely, to pet him, he could pick up the bag and trot off without much fuss. The other thing Geralt did was trail buskers. He learned about them, knew those who were busking for fun and those who needed the coins tossed at them. Those who did it for a hobby, Geralt had no qualms about ambling up to and snuffling their things. It usually earned him a pat on the head and a laugh. It meant he could curl up with whoever it was playing and, at the end of their stint, Geralt could snuffled a little more under the pretence of curiosity. Nobody ever thought to look in his mouth to find the coins they could have sworn were there.
It was a great ploy until a new busker turned up. Geralt couldn’t get a read on him. The man looked and acted like a peacock but he smelled tired and hurting. Before Geralt could even approach him to investigate, the man was setting his instrument to the side and reaching out in invitation for Geralt to join him.
“You might need a bit of rest.” The man said and pulled a water bottle from his pack. Shoving his handwritten sign of gratitude from the plastic container, it was filled up with water instead. “It’s a warm day, I doubt there are puddles around for you.”
It turned out, the man chattered a lot when he wasn’t playing. He was called Jaskier, had no real family to speak of and loved singing. There was an art to speaking a lot without saying much and Geralt knew Jaskier was a master. In the evening, when Jaskier packed up, Geralt couldn’t bring himself to take any of his coin.
“If you’re ever in the area, you’ll always have a blanket to rest on with me,” Jaskier promised and waved to Geralt. It was only then that Geralt realised that not once did Jaskier touch him.
Once a week, Geralt sought Jaskier out. It was oddly relaxing and on his third visit, Geralt found he had actually fallen into a deep sleep, trusting this stranger to keep him protected. Of course, the others teased him about it relentlessly. Late at night when they were all sprawled in their alley with a rare treat of beer Eskel had managed to snag, they laughed about Geralt’s crush.
“Fine. You go see if you can do better,” he grumbled.
From then on, the wolves took turns and each came back suitably cowed. Eskel had taken the first chance to go see Jaskier for himself. He’d come back subdued and quiet. “He told be about his White Wolf,” he’d said. “How I must be his brother because I’m just as handsome.”
There was nothing handsome about Eskel, or so he thought. His scarring in wolf and human form had his lip pulled up and, as a wolf, he looked like he was continually snarling, teeth bared.
“He wasn’t scared,” Eskel whispered in wonder.
Unable to believe it all, Lambert went to see Jaskier next. He only came back late at night and refused to say anything. It was only later the next night that he whispered to Eskel that he’d tried to goad Jaskier into hurting him, to prove a point. And he got belly rubs instead. Which were a lot nicer than anything Lambert had experienced in a long time, so he had to slink off and think for a few hours before returning home.
Vesemir still had his doubts. His three pups might have been taken in by the singing stranger but he was suspicious. Determined to get to the bottom of their infatuation, Vesemir set out to spy on Jaskier. It didn’t go as well as planned because he was spotted and beckoned over. Even worse, there were freshly bought treats in Jaskier’s pocket, coming out to appease him.
“You look like you could be their father,” Jaskier prattled, handing over another treat. “The same noble, ancient look they’ve got. Living on the streets is no easy feat and I imagine you’ve done it your whole lives. But your pack seem wonderful. You ought to be proud of your boys.”
Vesemir would have thought it all some great, cunning plan were it not for the fact that he could smell the street on Jaskier. Obviously he’d been sleeping in hostels or the like until recently. And yet there he was with the best treats he could afford for a bunch of stray dogs who he knew to be wolves.
From then on, Jaskier enjoyed the company of a wolf beside him for four of the seven days of the week. Geralt slept on the blanket, running and eating in his sleep. By contrast, Lambert was needy, demanding attention and petting, constantly by Jaskier’s feet. Eskel liked to lie calmly and watch, sometimes he’d howl along and get laughs. Occasionally trotting off and coming back with a snack or a drink for them, clutched carefully in his mouth. The first time he presented Jaskier with a sandwich, he man had looked both scandalised and then blissed out as he bit into it like he was starving. Vesemir was by far the calmest, he watched Jaskier rather than the crowds around them, keeping track of how things changed.
“He sleeps on the streets,” he told his pups one night. “I worry for him.”
They couldn’t find Jaskier though, it was a large city and there were a lot of places to hide. By pure luck, they were settling down into a tangle of limbs, tails and fur when they heard voices.
“Just hand it over and you’ll live.” A menacing voice growled.
“I can’t give you that. It’s how I make what little money I have. I’ve already offered you everything I can!” That was definitely Jaskier.
“Along these parts, our word is law. You’ve not paid your dues and now we’re raising fees.”
There was the soft thump of someone being struck and the smell of blood. The wolves were up on their feet as one, quietly padding closer to investigate. Jaskier was on his knees, guitar behind him along with his usual pack which looked like it had been rifled through already. Opposite him were three men, one of them with a nail studded baseball bat.
“I think you need to be taught a lesson,” the man snarled and raised the bat. It arced through the air and there was the sound of it striking flesh and a sharp whine of a wolf in pain rang through the alley.
“What the fuck?”
Geralt was laid flat on the floor and panting, white fur staining red. The other three wolves were snapping and growling at the attackers while Jaskier knelt and watched in awe. Lambert jumped first, jaw latching around the wrist holding the bat and shaking his head.
In two minutes, the attackers were running, bleeding and cursing and the alley was silent save for the panting of the wolves. Eskel and Vesemir shared a look as they approached Geralt. They shifted, ignoring the gasp of surprise from Jaskier.
“You need to shift, pup,” Vesemir stroked over Geralt’s head. “Let us get a better look.”
It took a moment longer but Geralt was human once again and wheezing.
“Fuck,” he gasped, hands clenched in fists.
“Let them sort it,” Lambert murmured from just behind Jaskier, making him jump. “It’ll be okay. Geralt’s just a drama queen.”
“A drama queen with broken ribs,” Eskel grumbled. “At least the nails didn’t puncture his lung.”
In all of that, Jaskier was quiet and surprisingly unafraid. Puzzled, most definitely but he didn’t panic or run.
“Will he be okay?” he asked, soft and worried.
“He’s a strong one, survived a lot worse.” The reassurance from Vesemir lifted a little of the tension. “Why aren’t you running and screaming?”
“Why should I? You saved my life and you’re the wolves I’ve known for weeks now. It’s nice that you can talk back now.”
That seemed to settle matters somehow. And the wolves got a fourth act in their repertoire. Now, Jaskier sang and busked with the protection of a wolf by his side at all times. And, when he returned back to the alley, he always shared his bounty with the others.
“And when I get famous, you’re all coming with me. We’ll tour the world together,” he promised each night from the centre of the wolf pile. It usually earned at least one tail thump or a chuffed out wolf-y laugh. The wolves might have indulged him in such fantasies but they were the ones who had to eat their words. A talent scout did indeed pick Jaskier up. Along with his four wolves who became his bodyguards.
Part 2 here.
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elsaspants · 5 years
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Hordak’s name and design are obviously cartoonish, but the show has managed to make him utterly terrifying, regardless. he comes across like a DC villain who’s crashed into a world made up of Popples and My Little Ponies. once it becomes clear just how powerful and how ruthless he actually is, the contrast between him and the rest of the cast—Catra’s whole world up until s2–is so crisp, yet all his intentions still line up with the gravitas of his characterization. it’s incredible. plus—I already noticed this in s1–his voice aciting is f*cking phenomenal.
Catra walks up to Hordak assuming he’s as insecure and emotionally volatile as Shadow Weaver was, because the vulnerability that Adora and her friends have continually displayed has made her feel overconfident in her ability to manipulate others!!
it’s so effective to see how out of her depth Catra actually is. she’s come closer than ever to the core of her trauma, the source of the pain in her life and on her planet. she hates herself so much that she doesn’t believe she deserves life with Adora, outside of the Horde. but she’s wrong. she does not deserve evil like Hordak.
which brings me to my point. like I said, Hordak reminds me of a DC villain in his complexity. he genuinely sees everyone and everything on Etheria as objects who live in a fairy tale, their silly and shallow lives worth nothing other than exploitation. this mirrors the way an abusive caretaker treats their children, as Shadow Weaver did to Catra and Adora.
that is deep storytelling. and it causes every single Horde member living under Hordak to be deeply compelling and sympathetic.
@Mattel. Consider making NICE merch for this show’s villains. Well-sculpted blind boxes of each Horde character. Think Funko Mystery Minis. Then pay me for this idea. #tellmattel
Thanks!!
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Behind The Truth / The Dance / The Light: A producer’s perspective
Hi. I’m Sam Collins. You don’t know me. I’m not well known at all. I’m a music producer, and musician. I play guitar, piano, banjo, and kazoo. Well, actually the kazoo is kind of a spur of the moment thing. I don’t really play it legitimately. I’m here to talk about a recent musical experience I had working with a wonderful musician and artist by the name of J-A. Over the past year and half, I’ve been running all social media for J-A Indie label STELLA ROAD RECORDS. I’ve also helped produce his latest musical venture: an album titled, The Truth / The Dance / The Light. I met J-A three years ago at an open mic night at Rebecca’s. He was playing a tune from his EP at the time, a song called “Your Kiss”. I was so impressed with her craftsmanship in putting together lyric and melody, with the incredible stage presence that I felt it was something of a rarity to see at such a local cafe---especially at an open mic night!
After she performed, I had to meet her. I introduced myself and expressed my enthusiasm about the performance I just watched. She thanked me and I offered my services if ever she wanted to collaborate. From then on I’d see her from time and time at various open mic venues over the course of 3 years. Finally in 2017, I got a phone from J-A asking me if I’d be interested in coming in and laying down some guitar tracks for some new songs she was writing for a new album. I said I would love to. Collaboration is very important to me. It is to J-A too, although she writes better alone. I.e this record! I don’t think any of these tunes could’ve had another writer on them. It would ruin the purpose and strength of the process and musical journey. Anyhow, I didn’t leave the studio for the next 2 years! What I am about to share with you is one of the most amazing, thrilling, heart wrenching and incredible musical experiences I’ve ever had! This shit ain’t no joke! This artist is the real deal and her ability, her courage and her bravery in showing her vulnerability is just mind blowing to me. 
Between the Summer of 2017 and the Spring of 2018, J-A and I worked diligently in making an honest record. It all started with her vision. “I don’t know what’s happening lately”, she said. “But something deep inside me is saying things I never in a million fucking years thought I’d ever say in life, much less share in song to the world.” She played tunes that ultimately made it onto this record---”Wonderful”, “Finally Free”, “The Light At The End Of The Tunnel” and “Be a Voice for Love”. I was blown away! Nobody in the San Diego music circuit were writing songs like these! There’s no way any of them could because these songs are unique the artist---the poet. “Do you have any more?” I asked her. She did, and preceded to play me every one she had in her pocket. I heard 20+ songs in 1 hour and was ready to get started. It is completely right in saying that J-A produced this record. I don’t even know if I should call myself like a co-producer, rather, a fly on the wall. We worked day and night in the studio. I was so moved with the vision J-A had and what she wanted: a raw, transparent record. One that was completely bare in production and sound but powerful and poignant in their lyric and delivery. Not many records are made that way these days, and it is so refreshing to hear an album like it. 
I ended playing some muted electric guitar on several tracks like, “Finally Free”, “’Til The Good Lord Takes Me Home”, and a live track that’s a bonus track on the DELUXE EDITION called, “When You’re With Me” a tune J-A told me he co-wrote with a friend 10 years ago. As I got to know the artist more, the more I knew the person. J-A was so candid in her personal experiences with embracing her sexuality and gender identity, but that isn’t really the focus of this record. In fact, she didn’t want it to be. “These songs stem from much more than me coming out. That’s just a chapter in the book. This record is an accumulation of what I’ve learned and how i’ve grown over the course of a long period of time”, she says. “This is not my coming out record”, J-A says. “This is about a journey of Self-Discovery. Everybody can relate to that. This record is about doing what is good for your soul. Embracing and living in your truth. That’s the message I want to put out with this record.” There’s a coolness to her. She is very calm and focused. She has fun with her craft, but also takes it very seriously. She expects the best of the best, and you want to give it. You don’t ever feel pressured or intimidated. If anything, you arrive at the table just as enthusiastic and ready to play. Her energy and work ethic is contagious. 
We had many conversations about how life was at home and other areas. These conversations were candid, and extremely difficult to have for her at the time. All of it transcended into her vocal and musical performance in the studio. She has been passionate and powerful in this project. Every day elevating herself from the rough patches and subsequent pain through music, and I watching her behind the vocal booth, sitting on a stool with her guitar Stella Rose in lap, strumming these songs and singing from her gut, soul and heart was insane. It made me wish more artists created from that space. We all have it in us. J-A is brave enough to lay it all out. She is fearless. That is evident in songs like “Rainbows and Gold”, a song I played Guitar on. Others like “Two In The Morning”, about a woman who is sexually abused by her father. “Tennessee” about a trip she took years back and meeting Dolly Parton and “Catching Butterflies” (another guitar track by me) which is about a recent experience by being victim of a hate crime, verbally attacked and threatened because she’s Trans. I’m telling ya, she holds NOTHING back on this record! She was knocking this shit out in 1-2 takes. The first take is what’s on the actual record! Very rarely did we ever use the second take. 
There is a gentleness to her spirit that also comes through. She has such a love and appreciation for life. Her positive outlook on life comes through in songs like “Finally Free”, “High On a Miracle” and “’Til The Good Lord Takes Me Home”. “Good Lord” was cool to do because we actually had some flute on it. A good friend of mine, Celeste Dreich came in to play a little something in between musical phrases. It’s one of my favorites because it expresses J-A’s character. Who she is and how she treats others, but is a song about reflection and how we wrestle with being the best we can be, and sometimes being hard on ourselves when we fail at it. “The Light At The End Of The Tunnel” is another favorite. J-A says this is one of the first songs she wrote during her creative breakthrough. She says, “I had just come out, and I felt so free. But I was also very aware of how far I’d come and I realized that so many of us search for that light at the end of the tunnel as if it’s a final destination. We arrive at that point and then what? We keep going. We are constantly growing and evolving and thriving and becoming. Then I thought, what if that light is us? You. Me. It made a lot of sense. Yeah... WE are the light. So what are we chasing? We should be embracing what is inside us. And that’s what I had just done. I wrote that song in 10 minutes and knew immediately whatever record I was making next, this one was going to be on it. I think it’s something people to need to hear.” And it was. She was determined to have these songs encourage the listener. “People need to know that they aren’t alone. They need to know it’s gonna be okay. If I can be that voice for people. If I can be their friend through song, that’s everything.”
One evening 2 years ago, J-A called me up and said she needed to get in the studio right away. We met in North Park at a studio we were working in. She gets in the vocal room, turns the lights off, and sits down on the stool in the middle of the room where the mic is centered. “Just press record”, she says. I do as I’m told and she begins to play.   “Piece by piece / Layer by layer / Bloomed like a lotus in the face of all my fear / Vulnerable and bare / Naked to my core / Stepping into me like I never have before”... For the next 3 minutes she bares her entire being out on this song. When she’s finished, she’s shaking. She has just broken down toward the end of the song and tears are streaming down her face. We do it one more time. She sings with even more gravitas. Breaks down again, evening whispering “That’s enough. I can’t do it anymore.” After a few moments, she steps into the mixing room where I’ve been the entire time recording what she just gave me. I didn’t know to call it a gift or a lesson in how to live your music. “That’s was fucking---I don’t even know what to say!” I tell her. “Do you want to do that last part again?” “No”, she says. “This album is about imperfections. It’s about being authentic. Whatever we got is what we have. It was in the moment. I’m doing any of that again. Work with what you’ve got.” The song was “Daughters Of an Evolution”---My favorite song on the record. It’s an open letter to her parents and anyone who has dismissed, judged, or made her feel less than because she is a Trans woman. It’s a yearning of wanting to be if not loved, than at the very least understood.  It is becoming apparent to me how deeply personal, private, and unique these songs are to her own life experience, certainly to these past few years in coming out and discovering herself. I feel honored that I am getting a front row seat to this experience. It is my prediction that out of all the songs on The Truth / The Dance / The Light "Daughters” will make the most impact. It is probably the most honest and gut wrenching song on the album, but one I believe many people will be struck by. 
“Be a Voice for Love” is another tune I’d like to talk about. When J-A played this for me 2 years ago I thought the song to be very timely. It was obvious that she was speaking to a recent political shit storm. “The left, the right, it’s ugly / Keep on looking straight ahead. Anti-This and Anti-That, only one way to fight the hate.” And yet, J-A says no... and yes. “I wrote this song at 4:30 in the morning the day our recent White House resident took the Oath of Office. I’m speaking from a human perceptive, not a political one. I am not a political person at all. I pay attention, but I don’t write political songs. I was deeply hurt by the state of humanity and the level of foolishness by the human condition. I couldn’t understand it. Why were we treating each other this way? I had a lot to say that morning and I wanted to write about inclusion. A song about bringing everybody together. It’s not about who you vote for and what party to belong to. It’s about the human spirit. It’s about speaking up and out if not for anything, but for LOVE which is our common denominator.” The track closes the album and I’m glad it does. It’s a beautiful message to leave the listener with. Listening to this album in sequence, I am more and more convinced that it plays like a journey. What I love about this experience is that it’s been completely organic. NOTHING was pre-conceived. It’s a testament to J-A’s innate ability to find the light in every moment and have it shine through her art. Listening to the music and the lyrics which are front and center more than anything, you immediately feel compassionate for what she has lived. Her joy for life is all over this album. This isn’t a sad or depressing record at all! It is an honest one. It’s a transparent record. And it’s all hers. 
I’ve never worked with an artist like this one. Maybe because it didn’t feel like work. We were on a mission. As I said earlier, J-A had a vision and a dream for these songs and has been determined to have it manifest into reality without compromising her authenticity and vulnerability. Instead, embracing it and leaving it all out on the field. She is a person who will always stand up for who she is and will always express that through music and in life. She said to me at almost every recording session: “If my songs can touch somebody’s heart, than as far as I’m concerned, I’ve reached the mountain top. I want to change the world and the only way I know how is through music. I write what I feel, what I live. The only way I know how to write is from my heart. This record is a little rough around the edges, I know. But hell honey, so am I!” Her songs do touch your heart. At least they’ve touched mine, and I’m always going to feel grateful for allowing me to be a part of this experience, and at this time in her life. It was a joy to help out on this project in any way I could. I’m glad I came along for the ride. Now, it’s your turn! Listen intently, and enjoy! 
“The Truth / The Dance / The Light” available now on Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube Music & other streaming services! 
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1. WONDERFUL 
2. FINALLY FREE
3. YOU + TONIGHT 
4. HIGH ON A MIRACLE 
5. RAINBOWS & GOLD
6. DAUGHTERS OF AN EVOLUTION
7. TWO IN THE MORNING 
8. TENNESSEE 
9. CATCHING BUTTERFLIES 
10. ‘TIL THE GOOD LORD TAKES ME HOME 
11. THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL 
12. BE A VOICE FOR LOVE 
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1. WONDERFUL
2. FINALLY FREE
3. YOU + TONIGHT
4. HIGH ON A MIRACLE
5. RAINBOWS & GOLD
6. DAUGHTERS OF AN EVOLUTION
7. TWO IN THE MORNING
8. TENNESSEE
9. CATCHING BUTTERFLIES
10. ‘TIL THE GOOD LORD TAKES ME HOME
11. THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
12. BE A VOICE FOR LOVE
13. ROSES AND LACE 
14. LOVE WAS MINE 
15. WHEN YOU’RE WITH ME (Live @ Lestat’s West)
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How Not To Write Villains (and Antiheroes) In Romantic Fics
I’ve been in Villain fandom for a while and honestly, there are some common issues I’ve seen crop up in our romantic fanfic that I really feel need addressing. I’m interested in the methods with which we write these kinds of stories, and I find myself frustrated with the repeated destructive tropes that show up in the fic I try to read. 
So here’s a few of those tropes, why I think they happen, and some alternative suggestions to help writers avoid falling into these traps. I’m using gendered language here because these are the particular iterations I see most regularly (and some of them are specific to systemic sexism and dysfunction in M/F relationships), however some of these thoughts could of course apply across the board.
Mr. Grimdark
This guy shows up when the author’s main concern/anxiety centers around “keeping him in character.” There’s a lot of villain fangirls out there who are really worried that they’re going to get criticized for writing their villain too “OOC” and nice. They want to capture a tone of “realism,” and so they inadvertently write him monstrous beyond what canon even depicts him as. This guy is an abuser despite the villain canonically showing no domestically abusive tendencies. He doesn’t believe in love, and/or thinks emotions are a weakness even if there’s no evidence of this in canon. He’s willing to subject the heroine through endless cruelties, often above and beyond what he’s done in canon.
Mr. Grimdark is a mistake when it comes to writing a villain in romantic contexts. It’s not worth sacrificing the stability of the romantic narrative just because you are afraid to push the boundaries of canon characterization. I’d rather read a slightly OOC villain who treats the heroine with respect (even when he hates her or is working against her), than one who’s constantly subjecting her to extreme cruelty (and who’s OOCness is pretty much just skewed in the opposite direction TBH).
Sometimes Mr. Grimdark also shows up when the author is particularly fond of heavy angst and drama, or wants to involve more character drama in her fic, or is trying to write a Slow Burn or Enemies to Lovers plot. It’s important to learn how to identify the difference between constructive drama and destructive drama. Ask yourself why the dramatic tension is happening. Interrogate your methods. Is it aiding the character’s overall arcs? How will it effect their relationship? How does it help me build towards my narrative goals? How do I believably bring my characters back together after this moment of conflict? Does this moment reflect real-world domestic abuse dynamics? What does this moment say about who these characters are?
A lot of this lies in identifying how to depict villainy without crossing over into mirroring real-world domestic abuse, stalking, etc.
How and why does your villain wield power? 
You can write a bad guy in love without writing an extremely toxic situation. I promise, you don’t have to sacrifice romance in the name of “realism.”
The Womanizer
The Womanizer crops up when the author wants to make her villain extra sexy. She’s trying to depict a seductive rogue who’s main goal is to get the heroine into bed, but who inadvertently falls in love with her virtuousness and integrity.
What the author actually depicts is a man who’s reduced the heroine into a sexual object, another faceless conquest. Instead of being sexy, he’s a cheesy, gross Pickup Artist incapable of humanizing the heroine, let alone respecting her. The plot of the fic is suddenly transformed into his journey in discovering that women are human beings (or at least ONE woman is).
Honestly? This guy is lame. He’s a misogynist. He’s also OOC as hell in most cases. There are so many more ways of depicting a man who is seductive, and all of them center around him treating the heroine as the subject of his desire rather than the object. It’s so much more interesting and complex to see him like her and want her for who she is while dealing with the cognitive dissonance of being on the opposite side of a proverbial battlefield, and vice versa.
The Predator
The Predator is a horrifying mix of both of the above problems. He’s an abusive, cruel, misogynistic monster who’s out to torment AND/OR bed the heroine. This man has absolutely no business being one half of a romantic narrative. 
Again, it’s entirely possible to write an in-character villain who has dark aspects to him, as well as a seductive nature, all in a narrative that involves drama and conflict, WITHOUT writing an unbearable monster. 
If your villain is incapable of even empathizing with your heroine for the majority of your fic, you aren’t writing a romance.
The Nice Doppleganger
The opposite of the above problems, this guy is perfectly nice and un-challenging. He and the Heroine easily fall in love and have a relationship of no conflict whatsoever. He’s OOC and doesn’t really resemble the personality depicted in canon. The author may not realize this, or she may have done it intentionally.
This honestly isn’t a real problem if you’re doing it intentionally. By all means, play in your sandbox the way you feel like. 
However, he’s potentially a limp noodle when it comes to generating the drama, mystery, and gravitas of his canon counterpart (which are most likely the most exciting aspects of his character, which inspired you to write about him in the first place). If your interested in exploring the journey a villain takes from his canon behavior towards a romantic relationship, with this trope you’ve basically cut out the juicy parts and skipped to the ending. 
For you, that might be just what you want, and that’s fine. 
But if it isn’t, allow the material to challenge you. Don’t be afraid to explore conflict in your story that is generated between the main characters, just try to understand where the boundaries between “conflict” and “toxicity” lie.
Ask yourself why the villain intrigued you in the first place. What aspects of his personality can you utilize to keep his edge (without tipping him over into abuse)? How could those appealing dark and spooky traits translate into more (safely) seductive traits? What conflicts would arise between him and the heroine, and how can I explore them without making it destructively toxic? How can I soften him without declawing him completely? 
The key here is creative, thoughtful transformation rather than erasure. Start translating certain traits into constructive and/or romantic versions of what they once were instead of erasing them completely. Don’t change him. Change his mind.
The Emotional Knife Fight (or Heroines Can Be Abusive Too)
This one crops up when the author isn’t really sure how to depict a strong female character, or the author is writing an Enemies to Lovers plotline. She wants to show a heroine who stands up to a powerful man, who can hold her own against the villain and eventually change him/his mind. She wants to show the journey from lack of understanding to mutual understanding and empathy.
What instead happens is the heroine uses abusive language to talk down to the villain. She doesn’t truly respect his humanity because to her, his villainy eliminates his humanity. The heroine has a status of goodness and purity, and because the villain does not, toxic harm towards him is fair game.
This manifests in examples like the heroine utilizing the villain’s vulnerable emotions - which she is strangely aware of and yet unmoved by! - to cause him emotional harm. Is he the villain because he’s been betrayed? Abused? Neglected? She’ll minimize his experiences and assert that his actions cancel out the relevancy of his pain.
In return, the villain might start using the same weapons against the heroine. Alternatively, one of the above versions of the villain started this toxic dynamic.
Because the heroine can wield psychological weapons against the villain, the authoress believes she’s balanced the power between the heroine and the villain. And with the weapons these characters have used to slice into the raw parts of each other, the authoress thinks she’s depicted characters who are capable of seeing each other.
In theory, I can see why the authoress fell into this trap. She wants to write a battle of wits that results in deeper understandings. But that cannot manifest healthily if the heroine and villain are utilizing each other’s vulnerabilities to harm.
Instead, I’d like to see the battle be about mutual respect. Because the characters can see the vulnerabilities of each-other, they might use their own similar experiences to argue philosophy. They might express solidarity and use that solidarity to call each other out when they think they’re in the wrong, or to try and pull the other to their side. 
Explore a meeting of the minds like it’s an elaborate chess game, rather than a knife fight in a back alley.
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apriki · 6 years
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WARS OF THE STARS
So ya homegirl finally saw the last jedi and oh, there are THOUGHTS to be HAD below the cut for spoiler purposes but guys. GUYS.
I LOVED IT
I LOVED IT 
IT WAS WEIRD AND AMBITIOUS AND OVERTHREW THE CONVENTIONS OF THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE IN A WAY FORCE AWAKENS SPECIFICALLY DIDN’T AND I LOOOVVVED IT
when luke threw the lightsaber over his shoulder at the very start i was like OHHHHH YES BITCH...... ITS FUCKIN ON
‘this isn’t going to go how you think’ INDEED
my heart siezed when i saw leia ugh.... and this film treated her with the gravitas she deserved and i loved that 
POE IS A COCKY FLYBOY BUT OKAY THE HUX SCENE WAS LEGITIMATELY FUNNY and domhnall gleeson is having THE MOST FUN 
ROSE’S SISTERRR and i feel like this film took pains to show a more diverse range of people in the resistance and also in the background on the star destroyers? and i really loved that
snoke’s red room of pain lmaoooooooooo. and his mara jade bodyguards
snoke forcing kylo to take his helmet off because he knows kylo needs it to disconnect shut the fuck up
kylo tantrum™ and him wrecking the mask because snoke shattered its meaning to him but also YOU DON’T GET TO WEAR THE MASK IN THIS MOVIE, KYLO. A BITCH IS GONNA BE OUT HERE VULNERABLE AS FUCK
the timeline of this movie was... odd? i feel like we were meant to think rey was with luke for weeks but the rebellion plot was suuuuuper super fast. i employed some mental time dilation to make sense of it lmao
KYLO NOT BEING ABLE TO TAKE THE SHOT AND KILL LEIA
EMO SON LOVES HIS MOM 2K17
holy SHIT i really thought they were going to kill leia off 20 MINUTES IN for a hot minute there
but then she FORCED HER WAY BACK INTO THE SHIP? SUCK ON THAT DUDEBROS WHO SAID SHE WASN’T STRONG WITH THE FORCE LIKE DIE
SPACE LAURA DERN
We Need To Talk About Rey And Kylo’s Sense8 Plot
THAT FIRST SCENE WHERE SHE DIDN’T HESITATE, BITCH
and he FELT IT. HE FELT THAT BLASTER
THEIR FACES when they force felt each other what the guuud FUCK
kylo: you will lead me to skywalker
rey: i think the fuck not
‘i don’t see where you are... only you’
BI.......TCH
THE REST OF THE WORLD FADED AWAY AND THEY WERE STUCK WITH ONE ANOTHER
luke’s sad hermit routine lmfao
luke: the jedi weren’t shit really
me: absolutely fair and true
when rey was like ‘please take this lightsaber and all the responsibility that comes with it’ and luke was like ‘this bitch empty YEET’
porgs are whatever. i wouldve eaten that one on the stick lmao chewbacca is a softie
am i the only one who like doesn’t remember the millenium falcon’s dice in the mirror lmao
sidenote like, adam driver’s voice. right? right?
KYLO CALLING HIMSELF A MONSTER WAS WHAT MADE REY START TO BELIEVE HE WASN’T? WHAT KIND OF BYRONIC NONSENSE......
‘i’d really rather not do this right now’ / ‘yeah me either’
I CACKLED. 
THESE TWO SHIT KIDS WITH A SENSE8 CONNECTION THEY DON’T WANT DROPPING IN ON EACH OTHER’S NARRATIVES
I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS MOVIE IS REAL.
i heard that kylo ren had a sixpack. that kylo ren is shredded
DON’T YOU HAVE LIKE, A COWL OR SOMETHING?????????????????????
MAZ KANATA IS LIVING HER OWN ACTION FILM SHE DOESN’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT
loved the casino world that was so obviously based on monaco and dipping into the muddy waters of arms dealing and showing how deep the fight between tyranny and freedom runs in the galaxy. it can get quite baroque with the skywalkers and their drama and i felt like it was a smart smart move to have finn team up with rose to see how exploitation and cruelty don’t always have to be in the form of sith lords or first orders
this movie is so busy dismantling the ideas of heroes and villains. it’s just people making choices and that’s the point and it’s TRRRUUUUUUE
benicio del toro is the new era boba fett and i love HE
poe getting SLAPPED and BLASTERED like multiple times lmaoooooooo like i like him well enough but bitch listen to your betters!
i kind of loved that finn and rose went off on this grand plan to save the resistance and it.... didn’t work. like everything they kept trying just DID NOT WORK but there was still hope at the end? friends it was beautiful
YOU’RE NOT ALONE
KYLO SLIDING OUT INTO THE CORRIDOR IS UHHHHHH THE STRAIGHT UP BEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN
HE’S A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD LINKIN PARK FANATIC AND I LOVE
rey in the rain
the first time she’s ever felt it?
and then the world goes QUIET AGAIN
WHAT KIND OF WOLFGANG AND KALA BULL SHIT
and okay the end of this scene where kylo pulls his hand away
AND WIPES OFF
THE RAIN
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
CANNOT
I CANNOT.
WHAT IS THIS AGE OF INNOCENCE FUCKING BUFFONERY SCREAAAMM
‘did he tell you what happened?’
and like, kylo could just say it himself
but he knows rey wouldn’t believe him 
and luke fucking LIED
‘THAT SKYWALKER BLOOD’
me two years ago: what’s an adam driver
me now: (laughing nervously) what the f
‘why does the force keep connecting us?’ BITCH ME TOO LMFAO 
the way the world STOPS ALL AROUND THEM
oh my god the flashbacks
like i feel like we got more than enough of this alluded to in force awakens but some people need it in black and white i guess and HERE THE FUCK IT IS
‘and the last thing i saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him’
and okay WOW @ ME EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS CONTINUALLY SAID HAN, LEIA AND LUKE DIDN’T FAIL KYLOHE LITERALLY TRIED TO MURDER HIM
look.
i am the most stoic bitch in a movie theatre. like shit does not phase me but i fucking teared UP my face just CRUMPLED LIKE UGHHHHH
AND ADAM’S DRIVER’S STUPID FUCKING FACE AND HIS DUMB EYES
HIS PARENTS SENT HIM AWAY BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID OF HIM AND HIS UNCLE TRIED TO FUCKING MURDER HIM
‘YOU WERE WRONG TO THINK HIS HEART HAD DECIDED!’
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and THIS is what’s at the heart of the last jedi - dismantling the myth of the hero. there are no heroes, only people, and luke is the embodiment of thatto rey he’s a myth but to kylo he was a man and that’s how he stumbled but he stumbled because he believed his OWN myth i’m just..... dying slowly
THEIR HANDS TOUCHING
THEIR FINGERS
FUCK OFF
THE ELECTRICITY
I FEEL THE CONFLICT IN HIM
REY CRYING AND KYLO TEARING UP
GOODBYE BITCHES I’M FUCKIN OUTTA HEEEYYYYA
rey: i saw you at my side
kylo: well i saw YOU at MY side
me: fellas,
REY BLASTING OFF RIGHT INTO THE HEART OF THE ENEMY CAUSE SHE BELIEVES SHE CAN SAVE BEN’S SOUL
REY GOING INTO THE DARKNESS AND NOT BEING AFRAID
AND TRYING TO SEE HER PARENTS BUT ONLY SEEING HERSELF
snoke claiming that he mainpulated rey and kylo looks up in FURY because he realises he was manipulating him too
LIKE HE ALWAYS KNEW
BUT HERE IT IS IN BLACK AND WHITE
his fingers twitching 
the saber moving
me in my seat: boy he bout to DO IT
AND KILLS
HIS
TRUE
ENEMY
i SCREAMED
well i didn’t scream because i was in a theatre but i screamed on the inside. i would watch kylo or ANY character kill every person who ever manipulated abused used them and HOW oh my GOD 
HE COULDN’T KILL REY AND HE KILLED SNOKE INSTEAD.
HE COULDN’T KILL LEIA AND HE COULDN’T KILL REY
JUST A BOY IN A MASK
THE EYES OF A FRIGHTENED BOY
like he just wants someone to to TRUST and they all keep FAILING for all his talk to rey of her constantly looking for parental figures like all he fucking wants is to belong to something??
it’s whatever.
like i can but i also can’t believe we actually got this character so shaped and formed by abuse and manipulation KILLING HIS ABUSER. like KNEELING IN FRONT OF SNOKE and being beaten down and down and FINDING THE STRENGTH TO KILL HIM ANYWAY
the conflict of this series is happening in the galaxy but it’s also happening in ben solo’s heart and that’s just about enough for me to mcFREAKING lose it
THE WAY REY CONSISTENTLY CALLS HIM BEN.’
BEN. BENJY. BENJO BOY
REY AND KYLO FIGHTING
BACK TO BACK
BACK! TO BACK!
REY WITH THE CROSSGUARD SABER KYLO WITH ANAKIN’S SABER
KILLING THOSE RED DUDES MAYBE THE KNIGHTS OF REN? THE SLOW MO
FIGHTING TOGETHER................. 
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POETRY
I DIED
I FUCKING STRAIGHT UP ASCENDED
REY CALLING HIM BEN AND HIM FLINCHING
EVERY
SINGLE
TIME
‘you’re nothing to the story - but not to me’
LOOK,
LISTEN,
I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS MOVIE IS REEEEAAALLLL
when kylo asked rey to join him i swear to god i heard the opening synth of carly rae jepsen’s ‘run away with me’
FORCE FIGHTING FOR THE SABER
DARKNESS AND LIGHT TO MEET IT
BUT ALSO DARKNESS IN HER AND LIGHT IN HIM
THE BALANCE
THE BALANCE!!
THEY’RE EQUALS THEY’RE SO EQUAL THEY FUCKING
TORE
THE SABER
APART
i seriously thought this was going to be the film’s climax but there was like 40 more minutes after this ksadjfkdsfj
LAURA DERN AND LEIA wow that was some BUSINESS 
and leia explaining to poe about doing the right thing vs. looking like a hero MY GOD this film is on another level. how the fuck did it both take star wars to town over like its most fundamental conventions but still feel true to the series and respectful and genuine? I AM... AGOG
LAURA FUCKING DERN LIGHTSPEEDING INTO A SPEED DESTROYER HOLLLLYY SHIT
and the no sound CRACKING APART of the cruiser the LIGHT 
this movie was shot so beautifully thanks disneymarvelfox conglomerate
honestly i’m still astounded that a film so rooted in nostalgia, nearly dependent on it in a way, firmly and deeply embedded a ‘let the past die’ moral through its narrative. LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF BLOCKBUSTER???????? but i loved it, i loved that luke and kylo were both so determined to bury the past and rey was equally determined to dig it up. because how can you have balance without it? 
the whole hoth version 2 snow planet was beautiful and the BURGUNDIES the contrast i love an aesthetic!
(tastes red substance hesitantly) ‘Salt.’
i want a crystal wolf
LMFAO YODA JUST BEING A FUCKING TROLL WHAT THE HELL
they couldn’t phone ewan mcgregor for a yung hot jesus obi wan cameo? i’d be into it
LUKE’S FOOT NOT SHOWING A RED PRINT THAT’S WHEN I KNEW HE WASN’T THERE
kylo: .........i’ll destroy the girl
luke: no you wont
kylo: yeah no i wont u right u right
LUKE AND LEIA OH MY GODDDD the GRAVITAS of mark and carrie!!! it was so beautiful
when kylo gave an order and hux repeated it super loud and kylo GAVE HIM THE WILDEST SIDE EYE I FUCKING CHOOOOKEKEKKEKEKED
i’m glad somewhere along the way they realised hux is like the biggest joke character lmfao
bye phasma
finn’s storyline really god sidelined this movie huh? i loved rose a LOT and i loved them together but did we need the poe plot like really
all the scenes with the og trio have been so layered and beautiful you can 
though i thought luke died in the fire and it was his force ghost not him like force astral projecting lmao
LUKE WALKING OUT OF THE RED SMOKE FROM THE GUNFIRE DDDAMMMMNN
‘do you think you got him????????’ KDBFKSHDFKHDS
ooof that final confrontation scene though
damn right you should apologise luke lmfao
SEE YA, KID
kylo’s anger in the last third is just wooooof like he thinks he can destroy every person and every remnant that rejected him but he’s just running on his own anger until he realises luke isn’t really there and there’s nothing else for him to fight
OOOOF
THE BINARY SUNSET
that GOT me i was verklempt
rey and poe meeting was cute
i hope they’re not setting up a love triangle cause like that shit is tiiirrreeeedddd
i like finn and rey and also finn and rose like im happy to go down whatever road they take
THAT FINAL SCENE
SNOKE WAS WAY FUCKING DEAD BUT THEY WERE
STILL
CONNECTED
HIM BENEATH HER ABOVE
YES BITCH LOOK AT EACH OTHER
and shutting the door but like the FALCON
I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S GONNA BE TWO MORE YEARS
is the fucking novelization out yet?
or the script?
i want to swim in this movie god stay tuned as my thoughts #develop and #grow
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carolineasweet-blog · 3 years
Text
Real Women Have Feelings
“Like everyone, I’ve spent so much of my life fearing pain that I've seldom felt things all the way through.” - Mark Nepo
I don’t remember growing up and ever thinking, “I’m a girl”. It’s not something I ever questioned, but it’s not something I overly-identified with either. Sure, I loved makeup and playing dress up, but I never associated those things with being a girl. I also liked running around in the dirt, playing pranks and climbing trees. These traits weren’t masculine or feminine, they were just me. 
It wasn’t until high school that I became very self conscious about and very aware of the power dynamics between men and women - that I started to ascribe traits as “bad” or “good” for certain sexes. Mostly that being overly girly and emotional could be bad. I had a boyfriend whom I coveted in the unhealthy way that makes you stay when you shouldn’t. The kind of guy that you can’t believe you’re with, the hottest guy in school, and “he chose ME!?” “I’m so lucky!” and all that. All that and constant rumors that he was cheating on me. Endlessly. It was the hurt, sure, the betrayal, ok, the mistrust, absolutely. But most of all, I was devastated to be one of “those girls.” I didn’t want to be a victim. I didn’t want everyone to feel sorry for me, and I didn’t want to be sad in front of people because I didn’t want to be weak. Those women are weak, and I didn’t sign up to be a stereotype. So I covered up all the hurt, all the pain of being in love with a cheating man, and I pretended to be unaffected by all of it. I vowed from then on that no man would ever make a fool out of me. I would never be one of “those girls”. 
I made a conscious choice to watch sports, get very good at beer pong and rail against everything that could be a stereotypical about me. I read the book Gone Girl and so recognized myself in the part about the “cool girl.” That was me, desperately trying to be the “cool girl” because cool girls don’t get hurt. Cool girls are in control. Coming of age in the 90s, feminism took on a weird form of “act like a man” feminism, and I bought in with all I had. To be successful was somehow synonymous with being unemotional. I was funny, light and all with a tough exterior. I never cried, not in front of anyone. That’s what weak, rom-com archetypes do, and although I am a fledgling actress, that ain’t me. My ideology kept me safe, it worked! Until it didn’t. 
My dad had emergency open-heart surgery one day, and as my sister and I flew to be by his side, we wondered aloud to each other whether we were just being over-dramatic. We were referencing “those girls”.  After a few days in the hospital, we met with a neurologist. My dad was in a coma, mostly a medical coma, which happens after massive surgeries, and we had to wait until he “woke up”. But after meeting with the neurologist, it became very clear that given the nature of his trauma, he might never wake up. He hadn’t just had heart surgery, he’d had three strokes. As the information filled my brain, so too did the tears. I could feel them welling up, not just tears, but a wail. A loud thunderous wail. I ran down the hospital hallway, frantically pressed elevator buttons, and fled to the cold Michigan winter outside. Then I sobbed. Louder, harder than I’d ever cried before. At first, I hid around the corner from the hospital entrance, away from anyone, but as my crying intensified so did the flood of people entering the double doors. I knew someone could hear me, but the grief was so large, I couldn’t be bothered. 
The irony of spending my life trying to avoid my emotions because the trauma left by one man, and another cracking me wide open. 
Just then, a sweet orderly walked outside and handed me a box of tissues. I’ll never forget that man. He didn’t have pity or shame for me in his eyes, he had kindness and love. I found relief in this small act. I felt better. 
Days later, with my newfound emotional breakthrough, I had to fly back home to LA for a callback audition. My dad was still in a coma. I had a weird feeling he would wake up while I was on the plane, and I’d miss the whole thing. I felt guilty for leaving. I fidgeted in my seat, covered my tear-strewn face, and I prayed the whole flight. As soon as we landed, between short heaves, I called my sister and desperately asked, “did he wake up!?” “Not yet,” she said “but we think he moved a toe.” The absurdity of it all, I couldn’t help but laugh a little amongst the pain. I hung up the phone to discover the man sitting next to me crawl-climbing out of his seat and cutting the line to exit. He couldn’t get away from me fast enough. “Fuck you,” I thought to myself. I was free of my fear of being overdramatic. That was his problem. 
A week later, I had an audition for a casting director. In the scene, my husband had been murdered, and I was explaining to the investigators everything I knew. I could feel the authentic grief of this character, and I knew her pain. I played it with gravitas, weight, depth of emotion and genuine anger. I nailed it. Oscar-worthy, I thought, because I knew what that felt like now. “That’s great,” the casting director said, “but just remember, you’re a werewolf, so maybe not as intense? It is a CW show.” 
A whole new channel opened up within me, and it wasn’t pity, it wasn’t weakness, it felt like freedom. 
I went on a retreat I’d organized for top female executives and CEOs with this newfound lens on life - authenticity without shame. While I was technically their assistant on this trip, the women in the group always treated me as one of them. They included me in every activity and invited me to share what I was working on during one of the roundtables. I opened up about how hard it is to be an actor/writer with a ton of great ideas and no support, nowhere to go when you don’t have a “name” behind you. I have all these great ideas, but sometimes it feels hopeless, that it’s never going to happen for me. As I pitched my idea for a TV show centered around sexual violence against women, I welled up. I loved the idea so much, I felt connected to the content, and it felt like the culmination of my life’s work. I finished the pitch, tears in my eyes, to cheers of support. One very successful woman piped up, “I love the pitch, it sounds amazing, and I will help you in any way I can. But I also have to say, never, ever, cry in a business meeting. We get it, here, but ‘they’ won’t.” In that moment, I felt sorry for her. I felt sorry for every female who’d gone up the corporate ladder in the 90s. I thanked her and said, “With all due respect, I disagree. This is me, and if the tears come when I speak about something I care about, the tears come.”
I’ve lived too long denying myself. I’ve worked so hard not to be “that girl” that I stopped being human. 
Vulnerability, I now know, is a strength. It is one I cherish, not just as a woman, but as a person. And I wish that for everyone too. 
0 notes
his-lost-horn · 7 years
Conversation
unifyingspark: Though in regards to mainverse, if Cyclonus needed that in order to feel cleansed and comforted
unifyingspark: Galvatron would flog him, harshly, if that's what his spark longed for.
unifyingspark: While he would rather burn away these fears side-by-side in battle as mates, who he is to question Cyclonus' healing?
unifyingspark: He'd be wrong to... deny Cyclonus that request as much as he personally feels Cyclonus does not deserve nor need it...
unifyingspark: But if that's what Cyclonus wanted he'd be cruel about it, treat him then as a tratior he caught, nude in protoform he would hang him by his wrists and flog him and leave him there to drip awhile, then return, take him down, and cuddle/comfort him
unifyingspark: I'd actually love IC if this went down but it would have to be something Cyclonus seriously /seriously/ thought about
unifyingspark: Because fuck. Galvatron wouldn't stop even if Cyclonus was crying for him to stop. He'd give him what he damn well needed but its almost like asking him to rape him (I mean not really, kinda; it's the only thing I can think of right now lol), he does this 100% trusting Cyclonus is confident in his choice, which makes Galvatron confident in his actions
unifyingspark: But if Cyclonus is like 20mins later hanging there going: wow this was a horrid idea lol
vxtum: no, god
vxtum: he might actually weep, or have tears in his voice as he murmurs, "thank you"
unifyingspark: Galv would... feel awful lol but if Cyclonus and he both went through with it, he'd come out stronger, both of them, and Galvatron would be all over him with love when it was done, as our warriors do, you pay and you're forgiven
unifyingspark: and that's the end of it
unifyingspark: I can see Galvatron touching gently beneath Cyclonus' chin and looking at his optics for a long bit, "You are more my tribe than I these days..."
unifyingspark: Kinda does have a very golden age feeling, the youth again looking to his older mate for comfort and leadership
unifyingspark: like "fix this shit"
vxtum: You've no idea ;-;. Especially when Galvatron later cuts him down and carries him to their berth (or washracks first) to clean the wounds and to hold him close, Cyclonus would be clinging to him, face buried in his neck/chest, his fields quivering with raw, overwhelming vulnerability
unifyingspark: Galvatron would have to have that though, he'd order Scourge to fuck off for a few days so he can be alone with Cyclonus and see to the wounds
vxtum: I can then see him rising up the next morning, posture straighter, stronger (in spite of the pain for the fresh woudns lol), his fields bold, confident.
unifyingspark: Galvatron would be very willing to do this with Cyclonus though, it would be beautiful.
vxtum: I'd thought of Cyclonus flogging himself. He obviously heals emotionally, mentally by self-mutilating, but this is something different.
unifyingspark: No he needs Galvatron to... be part of the act. I get it. Galvatron understands it on an emotional level but he couldn't put it to words. He would be moved by it, a sign of trust, he knows Cyclonus... he knows this is a return to being little again, a plea to just let it fucking end and start over again
unifyingspark: and he'll damn well give it to him
unifyingspark: He'd also be tugging him in their half-bond, keeping him present wanting him to feel the pain, to remain with him, to hurt, to let his body and spark reset
vxtum: Cyclonus desperately needs this - he needs to know he's forgiven, so that he may forgive himself and try again. Setting the pact "I will not fail you again, Master" for so many things (never failing him in loyalty, orders and missions, faith in him, his love for him) and striving to keep that promise
unifyingspark: Sure feels that way from Galvatron's end, there's this like sad breath of relief like okay. Okay. Taking Cyclonus' wrist and pulling him up, taking the whip with his other and already putting on mask because he's now dealing with someone who has wronged and is filthy. "So be it."
unifyingspark: It might be more a show if Cyclonus was already in his protoform
unifyingspark: That way Galvatron would really see he sought him out without rejection being an option and he's serious about what he wants, there's no turning away from this
unifyingspark: I think this is what we were missing, heh good old fashion.... warrior forgiveness heh
vxtum: I think it's hilarious that we've been talking about this for gravitas and tetta this entire time.. and it never crossed my mind that maybe cyclonus needed similar treatment to mend the remainder of that bridge between himself and Galvatron
unifyingspark: Cyclonus may for such a massive..... upset in his life
unifyingspark: If he feels he has truly made mistakes and ... words and time isn't enough, part of very old temple teachings
unifyingspark: Yeah this could be a long time coming, more than just the D-Void and his fall from grace, it could be everything... he just wants to hurt in a way that is simple and controlled, bleed and feel pain, bring all that inner turmoil to the surface and let it bleed out
vxtum: omg what a perfect way to describe it
unifyingspark: Scourge would say its more self destructive patterns but Galvatron doesn’t think so, it’s Cyclonus catharsis and they're in unity to solve a problem
unifyingspark: Galvatron is the leader, his little devout fucked up and wants to pay for it, so he'll pay even though its much deeper than that heh
unifyingspark: however it goes down, Cyclonus won't be going anywhere once it starts and Galvatron is going to break him, I hate to say that but it is pointless in the Warlord's mind unless Cyclonus is brought to the edge and let fall, they both know he can endure pain, so he has to push him through to the place he needs to be in order to feel/let go
unifyingspark: and I figure that is going to be one hell of a flogging
unifyingspark: And this isn't an issue of willpower or "I am pushing myself over you", Galvatron is... just the one able to do it without fucking breaking or stopping. He's strong enough to drag Cyclonus to the other side, so-to-say... and I think this is Cyclonus saying 'I want to trust you again'
vxtum: YES
unifyingspark: It's weird warrior emotions and brutal but... Galvatron responds well to it, he feels Cyclonus more deeply in this bloodshedding than any sex
unifyingspark: There are some things Galvatron handles as sacred and this is one of them
unifyingspark: "You have always loved your rituals, admit it or not."
unifyingspark: A long pause, "As do I."
vxtum: Should it be written that Galvatron is in the cargo bay and Cyclonus comes to him, or Cyclonus is already in the cargo bay and calls for him, waiting for him in his protoform, holding a couple sets of chains and the whip?
vxtum: I figured the cargo bay because there'd be more room
unifyingspark: Galvatron knows Cyclonus has his moods and bursts of emotions but yeah, if Cyclonus comes in his protoform with the whip he wants used and chains dragging behind or over his shoulder or whatever Galvatron would see that this is not bullshit nor a flight or fancy and Cyclonus doesn't want to be talked out of it with "hey how about we battle together instead", it's serious fucking business lol
unifyingspark: But he doesn't have to do that, he could come down in armor with nothing and say what he wants and it would be done, just move moving around that way but the strength in ... coming prepared and ready is very powerful
unifyingspark: God Galv is going to grab the whip and growl, "You know I am trained with this," Gives the whip a shake and Cyclonus a deep stare. "I will not stop, Cyclonus. This, now, is your chance to turn away from me or hand me the chains."
unifyingspark: Brings Cyclonus a little bar and shoves it in his mouth to have something to bite so he doesn't crack his fucking teeth
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mantra4ia · 7 years
Text
Lucifer Season 2 Round-out
Last April, a list began that would soon pervade into every moment of my life: “Lucifer Season 2 and Beyond - Wants and Desires”. It went through various iterations…
Original Post (pre-season) / Updated post (during season 2)
Before I go into my “Season 3” post (and questions!) I wanted to make a quick capsule of my top fulfilled desires of season 2. Please let me know what yours were, or if you have questions and desires yet to be addressed.
Desires Fulfilled / Questions Answered
✔ Does Lucifer have any other brothers/siblings we should know of? While I was disappointed that Uriel had such a brief appearance, it was still very cool and developed the arc of the season a TON! Also, there’s that mention of… ✔ Lucifer should have a sister…(2x05) AZRAEL! The Angel of Death is a she, and I have many questions and speculations about her role, power, manifestation, etc ✔ Who is Lucifer’s mother? Angel, Demon, something else? You know, for a majority of the season I didn’t know whether I liked or hated the Divine Goddess mum as Charlotte Richards. She was a fun character, but very on the fence as to what she wanted and how badly at any given moment. Mostly what bothered me is her lack of seriousness, gravitas. I wanted to see the “Goddess” side of her all season. She was jailed for centuries not just for being powerful, but also vengeful, chaotic, bordering on malicious. And then I got all that in the very last episode, 2x18 “God, Bad, Crispy” and I loved it. All that resentment, brokenness, and desperation, coupled with destructive force so that I could take her seriously. And no sooner did I love her as a balanced character of humor and strength, she (as we know her) was gone! Wot?! ✔ We’ve seen Lucifer’s lifestyle, how is Amenadiel liking his time on earth? Not at all - his poor wings! But I’m really quite glad he’s found solace in, of all places, the improv club. ✔ Who are Chloe’s friends outside the force, will we meet some? Thank Dad for Maze, Linda, and Ella, and girls night #tribe. ✔ Lucifer, Trixie, and Maze on a school’s day out field trip. Trixie and Maze trick-or-treating was 100% wonderful, and as a brilliant bookend so was Lucifer taking Trix to school and them having their own little “deceiving your parents” club. ✔ Girls’ night - Mazikeen, Chloe, Linda. And not only that but a bar fight, which is also what I wanted to see more of (the females kicking butt, which I got from all the core ensemble save Trixie, who instead kicked butt with her words, as Maze said). It’s like the writers have Lucifer powers of desire deduction… ✔ More delving into the themes of what it means to be vulnerable, when it’s good and not, and recovering from betrayal from all the characters’ perspectives. Well, divorce and single parenting are pretty dang vulnerable for Chloe I’d say….and you know drudging up the past and confronting her dad’s murder. And Dan and Lucifer at the comedy club, the openness there gave me new hope for their continued BroTP. Lucifer with Azrael’s blade while Amenadiel watched as his little bro was in pain DESTROYED ME. And even Trixie was vulnerable at that Starford private school, which was super insightful for Trixstar. And Maze and Lucifer throwing down and going to group therapy with Linda. The writers really knocked vulnerability, recovery, and moving forward out of the park. ✔ Is Mazikeen going to make more progress in the friends’ department? First word: Roomies. Second word: wifey. I really, deeply enjoyed Maze bonding with Chloe and Linda (ride or die) this season, and her growing attachment to humans. ✔ Now that Lucifer doesn’t have his Pentecostal coin to play with, does he get a new toy? I never thought seeing Lucifer with a cell phone would be that satisfying.  ✔ We see Lucifer always wearing a ring and Amenadiel always wearing a necklace. Will they come into play? Of course! Although, please props department up your game. I hated that Sumerian text. It looked like a three ring binder spray painted bronze. ✔ What stunts/ fight choreography are you guys thinking about for s2? Maze with a pool cue, a good amount of headbutting, slo-mo riots in a psychiatric ward, jumping off of a pier, some great driving sequences, a sniper/hostage situation, violence with a yoga mat, throw-down in a church (Father Frank’s church?), broken pianos. I can’t wait for more! ✔ Tom Ellis at the piano.“All Along the Watchtower” pleases me to no end. ✔ Scenery changes? I love the addition on the performance club and Chloe’s new apartment.  ✔ New potentially recurring characters? Heavens bless Ella in all her awkward moment, ice-breaking quirkiness.  ✔ Can Chloe effect other celestials adversely, or just Lucifer? Apparently yes she can. She disrupted Uriel’s pattern of destruction (2x05) I think, I could be wrong, but it came across that way… ✔ Seeing Lucifer with wings. YES! Bring on the eleventh hour cliffhanger. ✔  Lucifer’s fall? Maybe we saw a glimpse of it…depending on the context of the 2x18 cliffhanger
Things we got that we didn’t even know we wanted. SO GOOD:
Dan and Chloe are getting a divorce and in so doing becoming an even better team on the force and in life. They can razz each other more at work and be treated as equals, and she can joke with Dan “if you married Charlotte, that would make you Lucifer’s stepdad.”
Amenadiel wallowing about the loss of his wings, and the new BroTP Dandielion (Dan and Amenadiel at the comedy club)
“Cosmos are yummy” and “I like [the shape of] your head” one liners. You deserve all the praise Amenadude.
Ella’s tiny hands comment.”I’ve seen some pretty tiny manhands.” Cheeky.
Ella speaking French.
Lucifer and Maze with a taser. Superb new toy.
Lucifer being mortally embarrassed seeing his mom naked (how does it feel to be on the receiving side of nude awkwardness buddy), her interrupting his foreplay, and him having to drag her off his club stage because of her dancing. He’s essentially a teenager with her around.
Trixie’s defaced doll, and Lucifer’s sinnamon roll behavior getting her a new one.
Trixie holding Lucifer’s hand hostage as he takes her to school and bargains with her to drive the Corvette.
Chloe nearly beating someone to death with a yoga mat. “There’s a special place in hell for women…who manipulate other women.”
A reprisal of Chloe and Maze the tag team. Magnificent.
Lucifer denouncing cats. “Open box of excrement in your house? Cats,” Makes me wonder what pet Lucifer would have if he could. 
Uriel playing with patterns and probability! Sweet, now help me sail my ship! (2x05)
Lucifer as an action movie fan. Not surprising, since we already know he loves cheesy sci-fi from season 1 interaction with Chloe’s mom. But still another awesome nerdy layer.
Chloe teaming up on a case with her would-be-mother-in-law. Season 2 subtitle: #EveryoneHitsOnChloe
Lucifer in a psych ward. And of course, the Linda/Lucifer break out. Though it probably would’ve been equally fascinating as a break in.
SEASON HIGHLIGHTS (TOP 10):
The stunt driving in the corvette and Chloe’s car, and the surrounding circumstances of both incidents. I love the fulfillment of “I’ll never let you drive” comes full circle when Lucifer speeds on to try and save Chloe’s life, and when Chloe has to ride shotgun on Lucifer’s terms, she loses all composure. 
Most of 2x13 “A Good Day to Die” but especially the X-Ambassadors “Unsteady“ montage where every character shines!
“God Johnson” - the whole episode from start to finish, because it revealed so much honesty, meta, and motivation about the Lucifer, Linda, and Mum. If I had to pick a favorite part, it would have to be when Lucifer is wheeling Linda down the corridor and she meets ‘God’ or the celestial parent trap. Linda and Lucifer get to act like fans in their own show, Dr. Martin reveals Lucifer’s hidden desire to see his family back together, and Mum realizes she loves her ex and much as she hates him.
Maze and Chloe on a case as a married couple.
The men #tribe and the women #tribe we clearly establish in the first half of the season through cocktails, bar fights, saunas, improv clubs, etc. It wasn’t obnoxious or super exclusive, it developed naturally and really served the characters.
All of Trixie’s screen time was awesome, and the fact she seems to get more of it. Particularly “you don’t have to speak in code, I can handle adult stuff (she’s very perceptive)” and “wusses don’t get lollies” and her reaction to Lucifer stealing her sandwich.
Lucifer’s final scene with Linda in the hospital, where she has the title line that once again gives Lucifer page turning insight, and he puts her glasses back on and I melt!
Amenadiel being able to slow time for the first time since his powers waned, and using it to save Linda’s life. It made me teary, and brought me back to 2x13 when he helped Lucifer by standing his ground for Chloe. (MVP on the Unsteady montage)
Ella standing up to Charlotte. Her saying “you hurt Dan, I’ll break your legs” at first came off funny, like ‘your East Coast is showing’ but with each episode I increasingly wonder if, instead of just being mellow and accepting and lighthearted, she knows more than she let’s on and there’s another side of her that we’ve not seen.
The made up dinner scene / “you look beautiful” / the trajectory of Deckerstar. I admit there was a faith wobble. I thought that the show was revving up Lucifer and Chloe, perhaps not ‘too fast,’ but too suddenly. A lot was development happened over very few episodes in season 2 (by contrast to the entire season one slow burn) that I was dazed. What the hell was going on? Then they slammed on the brakes and reversed it when Luci skipped town and I thought are you trying to give me whiplash. But now those trials and that zig zag line is actually effective in making their relationship more complex and less doe-eyed, leading up to the capstone line by Chloe about moving forward. It gives the series a Chuck-like nostalgia in that this epiphany frees up a lot of constraint: it doesn’t matter the twists, turns, sputters, or screaming wheelies of the ship, in fact all the better, so long as their eyes are open and the aim is forward.
DIDN’T LIKE (BOTTOM 10):
☒ The “Wobble” episode concept.(2x03 Sin-Eater) If I had to rate it’s strength as a compelling episode, it’s probably second to the bottom.
☒ Poor Uri, we did not know him well, but I wanted to! (2x05)
☒ The “Candy Morningstar“ episode (2x14). I like the resolution, however I thought overall it was a weak return from hiatus. It did not do a very good job of filling in gaps of Lucifer’s time in Vegas - but maybe that’s something flashbacks in season 3 will revisit.
☒ Ella, her brother Ricardo, (2x13) and their Brooklyn roots. At first when I heard Ella came from a big family of brothers - 5? if I’m not making that up - I thought “what rich grounds for parallels” Lucifer comes from a big angelic family and Ella and Luci hit it off quite well where quirkiness goes she practically like a sister, she even got him to go to church, I can’t wait to see where this goes. But then we met one of her siblings, and it felt somewhere between a front and a one-off plot point to serve the events unfolding in the case. Generally, I feel even though I really like her character, she was not used to full potential in the second act of season after 2x8. Part of the hazard of adding two characters in one season. However, I have hope from 2x17 when Ella goes off to accept a call from her brother that she’s been ‘waiting for all day,’ but it’s never revealed why and the call takes place off screen that we’re going to revisit Ella’s family and backstory in a more detailed, impactful way come s3.
☒ The Season Finale 2x18. Before you kill me - allow me to clarify. I LOVED THIS EPISODE, however it was so packed I wish that I could surgically take out some preceding season fluff and elaborate these critical details over 2-3 episodes so that they are more than nuggets. Especially because of three things: 1) The growing complexity of Amenadiel’s relationship with Dan and Mum!Charlotte. Face it: Amenadiel had an extended identity crisis this season. It was planned, and overdue, so it’s fine. But only in these last episodes did his friendship with Dan and anchor to humanity flourish, as though playing catch up to Maze, as well as his more complex, less idolizing perspective of his parents. I WANTED MORE 2) Mum!Charlotte’s relationship with Dan “you were my favorite human.” Writers - How can you drop a line like that and NOT go after it? Are you evil? Mum’s been around for millennia and in all that time humanity has been at best a perplexing annoyance, at worse a target for ire. And in the span of one or two months on Earth, the divine goddess has developed a favorite human attachment not just to manipulate as was her intention, but beyond her reasoning legit. That’s huge. At first it was so weird, and now that I WANT MORE you cut me off! 3) Mum!Charlotte was finally beginning to stand on her own as a character, only to be slightly Sparta’d into the void. Just a few episodes ago, her only significant interactions were he sons and Maze. Now she’s branched out to everyone with the exception of Trixie. (WHY ON EARTH DID WE MISS THAT OPPORTUNITY). Then just two episodes ago, she said “when I kissed [my husband] I knew it wasn’t him, and yet I wanted it to be” - BAM - and then when she discovered Lucifer’s real plan to parent trap her in heaven, and that he was too worried about the repercussions to humanity, she offered to gate crash heaven alone and spare her son - POW. And to top it off, she recognized her own latent identity crisis and accepted an alternative to go into uncharted territory, make a new life for herself without her ex and her children, to examine who she is as her own independent Goddess in a life and a universe of her own. To summarize: metric ton of progress for Mum in three episodes tops, mostly in the last one, and now she is gone to do the most interesting part of her journey off camera. AHHH!
☒ The flaming sword. It got so much build up for so little actual use, apart from opening the void. Plus side: I thought the void concept / how the sword was used in conjunction with the theme of moving forward was EXTREMELY good, but at the same time my inner child wanted more swordplay with at least the three main celestials: Lucifer, Amenadiel, and Mum. You get a sword, you get a sword, you get a sword!
☒ Excessive use of Devil Eyes. I’ll have to count and compare to see how this actually tallies up, but particularly in “God Johnson” and maybe 1-2 other times I don’t recall, I thought it was overkill. I get why Lucifer’s glow-eyes are a handy physicality feature to the story, but overall I think some cues were off for maximum impact. S1 Lucifer used his eyes and true form in 3 main contexts: 1) when it suited him to intimidate or frighten 2) when it suited him for for amusement 3) when he got really overwhelmed by his emotions - possibly because it takes concentration to maintain his image and extreme emotion can blink his focus. “God Johnson” by contrast seemed more like ‘we’re telegraphing the anger.’ Of course Luci is angry, hurt, resentful, and like a kid wants the last word with Dad. However, when you factor in his smarts/cunning, and how long he’s been planning his Dad conversation, it would follow that Lucifer is laser-focused, determined, and knows that Devil Eyes don’t hold any weight with Father. Therefore, I think there are more varied, smarter, scarier ways to show Lucifer’s anger that were underutilized this season, is voice and body language especially. Plus side: I truly enjoyed Lucifer’s form in 2x13 in hell, and 2x06 for his reveal to Linda. The lighting, 5/5 Morningstars. 
☒ The pacing and balance of humor, smart storytelling, and the dramatic elements of the show felt off, probably also on account of two hiatuses. Reflecting over the whole season I’m not as annoyed as I was week-to-week. There were parts of the season where I waited eagerly for Monday only to find the comedy didn’t hit when I thought is this a comedic take on a police procedural or a parody of a comedy of a police procedural. Other times we got all the dramatic in one go and I thought Dang, where was this development when I needed it. But then I saw 2x18 and one scene made it better/sensical: Dan coaching Amenadiel at the improv club. In a strange, probably coincidental way, when Dan says “Amenadiel, that’s a little dark buddy” I felt like the writers were breaking the forth wall and saying “yes, I know, we take you on these weird tonal-emotional roller-coasters from pantomime slapstick to death and crippling guilt. We can and will make fun of ourselves now.” And I felt a burden lift as if replying “thank you for understanding that the struggle is real.”
☒  Celestial telephone tag cliffhangers. I love both of them: clever, full circle, smartly written. At the same time, I love to hate them. Twice is good. If showrunners go for a third time, I’ll take my cue from Maze and headbutt someone.
☒ I like the idea of expanding the universe by playing with the concept of the void. I think that it takes a great note from the comics. However, I’m worried it’ll be an idea that doesn’t go anywhere. As the show stands, Lucifer is so grounded in our physical world that adding a couple characters to the cast is tricky. This kind of world building? By comparison, this is God-level tricky, which is both exciting and terrifying.
Unanswered Questions / Moving Forward
See my Season 3: Speculations, Questions, Desires post.
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nemolian · 7 years
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I Kill Giants preserves the emotion and mystery of the graphic novel it adapts
Welcome to Cheat Sheet, our brief breakdown-style reviews of festival films, VR previews, and other special event releases. This review comes from the Toronto International Film Festival.
In 2009, comics writer Joe Kelly and artist J.M. Ken Niimura produced one of the year’s best graphic novels: I Kill Giants, the action-packed story of a defiant, troubled 5th grader obsessed with her private war against giants. Kelly plays it coy with his readers throughout the book: Barbara Thorson’s classmates see her as weird and obnoxious, while school officials consider her imaginative and troubled at best, and dangerously disturbed at worst. No one considers the possibility that she’s actually facing down giants — because giants don’t exist.
Kelly also scripted the live-action film adaptation, which explains why it’s so intelligent and careful about playing the same balancing act with the audience as the graphic novel. Viewers get to see what Barbara (played by Madison Wolfe) sees — the towering, slow-moving, dangerous forest giant that’s haunting her seaside town, the bullying harbingers who taunt her when her traps don’t work. But Kelly still leaves the question open of whether Barbara is the only sane person in town, or she’s fighting her own delusions.
Either way, she’s clearly hurting the people who care about her and are trying to help her, including her sweet new friend Sophia (Sydney Wade), her tentative school counselor Mrs. Mollé (Star Trek’s Zoe Saldana), and her desperate, frayed older sister Karen (Imogen Poots). Even if Barbara is the only one who can see giants and knows how to fight them, her level of obsession with them has taken on a dangerous edge, leading her to act out in school and drive other people away. She acts like this is a natural side effect of her role as the town’s protector, but she’s clearly lonely, angry, and carrying around a weight that other people misinterpret. The film gradually unravels the nature of that weight, partly as a mystery, but more importantly, as a study of how concealing pain alone is harder and heavier than processing it with other people.
What’s the genre?
A little bit fantasy, a little bit horror, a little bit family drama. It’s probably best described as a dark fairy tale, equally indebted to Guillermo del Toro and The NeverEnding Story.
What’s it about?
A fair bit of I Kill Giants is just about process. It opens with Barbara studiously making and testing bait for the giants, laying out experiments, and observing the results. There’s a personal human story going on between Barbara and the various figures in her life. (Virtually all of them female, including the people who support her and the bullies who haunt her; the speaking roles for male characters are fairly minimal.) But the film spends a fair bit of time with her alone, pursuing her quiet obsession — guarding her school with runes and handmade fetishes, leaving containers of rotting food around town as further bait, and other activities that look like mental illness from one angle, and a lonely, complicated vigil from another. If nothing else, it’s impressive how, at such a young age, Barbara is so devoted to her self-appointed duties. She treats other people with fearless contempt because she sees herself as doing more important work, with bigger consequences, than whatever they’re using to fill their empty lives. But in a way, she’s earned that contempt. She works hard at planning for and dealing with giants. She’s an adolescent girl with a full-time job.
But more than that, I Kill Giants is about loneliness and how hard it can be to face our fears, let alone to let other people in on those fears. Barbara takes on her solitary task with the ferocity of any hero saving the world because no one else seems to be doing it, but she also tries to let other people into her life. It’s telling, and tragic, that she seems to be most balanced and confident when she’s keeping everyone at arm’s length. Only opening up seems to leave her vulnerable, frightened, and uncertain.
TIFF
What’s it really about?
Grief, denial, the outsized fantasies of childhood, and a couple of different kinds of personal courage. Also: bullies, and the way they heighten every negative emotion. Bullies suck.
Is it good?
This is the feature-film directorial debut of Denmark’s Anders Walter, already an Oscar-winner for his short film Helium. As a first-time film statement, I Kill Giants is particularly assured and remarkable. The CGI effects around the giants are clearly low-budget and a little shaky, but otherwise, the film looks marvelous. The cool tones of a grayish city and the deep woods around it contrast with the bright colors of Barbara’s outfits, emphasizing her separation from the world. The visuals are sharp and striking, fitting for a real-world fairy tale. The graphic novel is visually dynamic and fantastical in a way that suggested it might only work in animation, but Walter gives it a real-world gravitas that falls somewhere between a del Toro film and M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village.
The film’s biggest flaw may be that the story becomes abrupt and artificially pat toward the end, particularly around the way Barbara’s story and her personal issues resolve. The story strongly recalls 2016’s A Monster Calls — Kelly’s graphic novel hit shelves two years before Patrick Ness’ novel A Monster Calls, but the movie adaptation of the latter beat I Kill Giants to the screen by a year, and the symbolism and even some of the monster visuals are undeniably so similar that I Kill Giants feels like it’s operating in the other film’s shadow.
TIFF
But I Kill Giants has its own distinct strengths, especially in Wolfe’s fierce, nakedly hurting performance. As a girl who unashamedly runs around in mismatched layers and bunny ears (she tells Sophia they put her in touch with her spirit animal), she presents a potentially comical figure. But Wolfe gives her a sense of nuance and humanity. She is just a little silly, as children sometimes are when they take things extremely seriously. But her emotional armor is believable and compelling, and the constantly visible cracks in that armor make her story poignant. A scene where she awkwardly, painfully tries to relate to her sister Karen through puppets and cobbled-together action figures brings across just how much of a struggle Barbara finds in her efforts to relate to people. And yet that scene is funny, as well. There’s a lot of emotion coming through in I Kill Giants. The way Wolfe performs it, and Walter frames and shoots it, makes Barbara’s journey work both as metaphor and as a more literal experience in navigating the particular monsters of bereavement.
What should it be rated?
There’s some scary monster action and some painful themes that may go over kids’ heads, but nothing graphic. It’s a safe enough PG.
How can I actually watch it?
I Kill Giants is looking for an American distributor, much like A Monster Calls before it.
via:The Verge - All Posts, September 9, 2017 at 03:06PM
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