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dornish-queen · 3 years

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GQ MEXICO - PEDRO PASCAL 2021

It seems that Pedro Pascal is in all possible universes. Here and there. In the past, in the present, and in galaxies far, far away. Today, the actor is considered the great entertainment reference and one of those in charge of saving a franchise that seemed lost. Enough reasons to talk exclusively about discipline, gastronomy, creeds and how he traumatized his father in 30 seconds.

The RAE defines 'creed' as the set of ideas, principles or convictions of a person or a group. For example, by creed, one can leave his country and be in exile. It happens that one can leave the loved one behind. Or simply live in another reality. And also one can put on a helmet to pretend never to take it off again. If that is the path to follow, the creed says that it must be done with the profession of faith and without stopping to look. Turning the pages of the script for The Mandalorian , the Disney + series that revived passion and nostalgia for the Star Wars franchise , Pedro Pascal came across this definition in every dialogue and moment, and reflection carved his way.

More than two decades have passed since the Chilean-American, Pedro Pascal, began his acting career and today, named as the great reference of 2020 , he misses the theater and it still hurts him not to have the discipline to exercise and maintain a diet sana while acknowledging the irony of having the best year of her career in the midst of one of the worst in recent history. But even in physical solitude, the man who carried the best-selling Christmas baby rescues many positive things and shares his vision of the universes he has traveled through, his passion for distant galaxies and how to traumatize your family with a simple scene of TV. In an interview, the Mandalorian of Latinamerica.

IMDB named you the 2020 benchmark in entertainment, a year in which the world took refuge in fiction. How was living your best time locked up and what do you rescue on a human level from it?

The strength of family relationships and friendship. For them, we endure this physical loneliness. I do find it ironic that in 2020 I received projects so well received by the public, although they were carried out before the pandemic and their impact was during it, and that year I was isolated and alone. But I must emphasize that this loneliness is a privilege when many people had to continue working, surviving and maintaining the functioning of the world. We only had to be alone, but they more than that and you must value it too.

Among the activities you have missed, how much do you miss the theater?

Much indeed. It's something that I miss the most and being with people without being afraid. See a play and return to those experiences of being with people doing and living things in common. That is what I need most, in addition to my loved ones.

Disney fully entered streaming and its strong letter has your face, what do you think of the discussion of platforms against movie theaters?

There are incredible things in streaming and many people develop great projects that they did not have access to before. The diversity of voices is gaining ground and it is important to recognize that opportunities grow exponentially and boundaries change. It is incredible the availability that we have to very well made content and how creative people can share their work in different ways. But I also want to be honest: limiting the experience of watching content only on our gadgets or at home is a mistake that affects the stories we can tell. You have to achieve a mix of opportunities and challenges.

You jump between the fictional universes that mark the last decades until you reach the universe of universes. What is your first Star Wars memory and how do you summarize the essence of this legendary story?

For me, Star Wars is nostalgia itself. It is one of the primary things in my memory, of my childhood. I came to the United States with my Chilean family when I was less than two years old and one of my first memories is going to the movies with my dad to see the saga ; it becomes one of those romantic childhood things that opens your mind, so imagine how special it is to participate in this project. I think the creators of The Mandalorian perfectly understand this nostalgia and that power, and they managed to count on that element as a great ally for the world of Star Wars and I couldn't be happier to be part of it. (From which we expect the third season The Mandalorian)

The Mandalorian exploits the power and nuances of your voice, did you have that letter on your resume?

I didn't know I could do it, but I resorted to my theater preparation, which was very physical on all levels and feelings. There are elements that have to do with and that are essential to create a role, and they teach you that the voice is something primary, something you have to start with and you cannot hide. Now I have learned much more about the importance of that, and how to use it economically. The body also has to do with that, because something very subtle communicates something. In The Mandalorian , I had a great time figuring out how to do it, they gave me the opportunity to develop it in different ways. The opportunity to be very intense at it.

What happens to the ego when someone works under a suit and a mask?

In the conversations about the project, before doing it, we were communicated the idea and the concept of the entire season , so I clearly understood what it was. I wanted it to be the most powerful version of what they were trying to accomplish, so there was no point in involving my ego, you know? It was already very clear what the project meant, so I knew about the character , the piece that it represented for him and the opportunity that it was for me, so I was only focused on executing in a better way the part that touched me in everything this. In the theater, I worked several times under a mask and it helped me develop the experience.

It seems that The Mandalorian has a very theatrical base ...

Exactly, and thanks to the physical experience of working in theater, doing a play a few times a week, discovering how your body and your voice communicate , being part of a whole image, and how you will tell that story visually, I achieved this character. I never imagined that it would be something I would have to use on such an important Star Wars project .

On the list of entertainment greats, there are names like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, do you think John Favreau should be added to the list?

I think your name is already included. Without a doubt, it is in that category and it is incredible. His vision fascinates me. I remember an episode in the second season , and I had some boots and I walked so much in the snow, it stuck to them. He figured it out, so he talked to the art department about the kind of boots you need when you're out in the snow. They approached me and gave me new ones that fulfilled the idea I was looking for. He noticed it in an instant. It is such a wonderful detail and it is repeated to scale in every session with him. He thinks of absolutely everything and his vision of the use of technology is admirable. He is someone who makes you feel motivated and always sees how to achieve the goal.

One of the reflections in the series is on how and under what circumstances a man can break his creed and way of life. What makes you break with your beliefs?

I think that you must follow your heart so as not to regret anything; Although sometimes it brings pain or conflict, deep down when you look back, everything is worth it because it was what you heard in your heart. I am very afraid to deny that feeling or not to attend to it. I am 45 years old now and I cannot believe I have a finer philosophy. Make it more disciplined. It's ridiculous, but I'm trying to accept that I am and it's all I can say, "follow your heart." Although, you know, I'm not on a good diet yet, I still have trouble sleeping or exercising.

Still good at Chilean empanadas?

Yes, I couldn't stop. And also how good that I do not live in Mexico City because I would only spend it eating. I could move my whole life to defe just to eat.

I want to deviate and ask you, with whom did you see the chapter of your death in Game of Thrones and what traumas did you cause in your family?

For me, no trauma. I separate myself well from the characters , although I fully understand that if I were a Game of Thrones audience and loved that character, it would make an incredible impression on me. Thank you that it was not. I had to interpret it and there was a model of my head to be crushed that way with the tubes and the fake blood, you know? Me lying there, with pieces of my meat, it was funny in the end. But not for my family. For them there is nothing funny but traumatic. My dad's voice changed completely when we saw the episode, he turned around and said: “I didn't like it, Pedro . No, Pedro , not this ”.

The media found similarities between your villain in Wonder Woman: 1984 and Donald Trump. When playing a character with characteristics like this, do you humanize him or do you understand him?

The project had nothing to do with the former president. They always told me that my character in Wonder Woman: 1984 was emotionally messy, and I took that and took that as far as possible. Instead of creating it with images or certain inspirations from life, it was more to work with what was on the page. Personally, what made sense to me is the size of the story that is being told and there is always more, and we all want more. Creatively, if this makes sense, that meant "blowing her out of the park." Connect a hit with the character and be committed to telling his story faithfully, in a way that was true to me. So all the exterior elements found their way.

What a way to start 2021 with the theme of the Capitol ... How do you perceive that moment?

I am not a politician and it is not that I do not have an opinion about this type of event; however, it is not necessary to state the obvious. My opinion would be very simple compared to that of a person who studied this, who knows how to act in these kinds of scenarios; I believe that I am next to the majority who experienced this, which is the logical result of what we have experienced during these years and we are all horrified . It was distressing to see this violence.

If you had the monolith in your hands, what would your wish be?

My wish would be… it's impossible, really (laughs). I think it is to be together again, with less fear and that people have the opportunity to connect.

What is your position on the reality that Chile has experienced in recent years and how has the relationship with your country been since exile?

It is something that I am developing and I continue to do in my life, trying to understand that it is my home. To be in Chile is to be at home, but my life has been very nomadic, living different things and having many influences; so it is strange, I do not feel with the title of a complete Chilean identity nor with an American one.

Neither here nor there?

In a sense, but I'm also completely both. My parents are Chilean , my brothers were born there before my parents traveled, and I came back sometimes because my family is very large; in fact, my parents came back. It has always been there, it continues to develop, and it will be a part of me. I don't know if it answers your question, but it has a lot to do with who I am.

What is your relationship with Latin American cinema? Are you interested?

Much, it has invaded me in life like American cinema. The movies that I carry in my heart, seeing something like Y tu mama was also something that changed me; I also love the work that comes out of Chile , and the only thing I can say is that it is a cinema that needs more access and projects.

Today you have a comedy with Nicolas Cage on the door, can you tell us something?

It's my first shot at comedy , as a complete story within the genre. Speaking of American influences , in the 80s I saw all the films where Nicolas Cage appeared , he came into my life and it's great to be his partner after seeing all his performances.

How is the relationship you have with the comedy genre?

I love it, I have done a lot of comedy in the theater, what happens is that in film and television issues , I was always part of drama castings . And in the cinema, you go where the doors open; Although I identify with one or the other, I think that being an actor , one goes and does what one has to do. Comedy is something unique, it is very challenging because it must be very real to be funny, you cannot hide or use normal tricks. I was very excited to have this challenge in front of a camera.

Finally, Pedro, after going through so many fictional worlds, literally, what do you dream about when you sleep?

I dream that my bathroom is dirty, that I haven't done my math homework, that the oven is on and all that stuff. Sure, there are times when I close my eyes and see myself in all these projects , although my conscience is with the anxieties of the day that you can imagine.

Without a doubt, Pedro Pascal is a particular type .

English Tranlation: Google Translate

SOURCE: GQ MEXICO

#pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #gq mexico #Articles

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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masterpost ☀️ main masterlist ☀️ taglist

previously on...

This chapter is very dialogue heavy. Stephen Strange being a little bit of a dick and Tony being a sweetheart. No warnings here, just plot and worldbuilding. I think Tony is his own warning to be honest... Do we want fun facts before each chapter like before or nah?

Sorcerer Strange stared at me with the heat of a plasma beam after I finished stuttering throughout my story, one accurate eyebrow raised and sharp cheekbones painting him displeased and dangerous in the yellow light of the store lamps. The whole experience shook me more than I would have liked to admit to myself and his mute reaction wasn't helping matters at all.

"Hmph," he finally cleared his throat, taking a step back and casting a thoughtful look over the shelves in the store. "You did all you could. Perhaps, we owe you gratitude," his tone was far kinder than his face. "How long have you been doing... This?" He vaguely gestured with a gloved hand.

"Long enough," I replied without thinking. My stress levels urgently rose above acceptable and the feelings needed to be let out now; Wong's dismissive attitude and Strange's half-assed apology for the attitude was still fresh in my mind.

The sorcerer sighed, briefly touching the bridge of his nose. "I won't pretend to understand the reason for your hostility but I'd like to remind you we're on the same side here," his steely blue eyes attempted to peer into my soul.

"There are no sides here," whatever he was selling, I wasn't buying it. "There are just people who get hurt, either because of unstable maniacs with superpowers or aliens who think Earth is an all-you-can-kill buffet," I stuck my dirty, bloody hands in my pockets. "You do your part in mitigating the damage, I do mine. That's all there is."

"And you would be making my job expotentionally harder if you get in the way and slow down professionals, even if you mean well," the man's temper had, evidently, won over and he immediately got on the defensive, crossing his arms and trying to glare me down.

Odette's words rang true, starting a storm of hollow anger in the pit of my skull. "Now listen here, you privileged prick," the damn burst at the seams as I squared up to give him a piece of my mind. "You and your Hogwarts rejects and the merry band of billionaires may have the opportunity to 24/7 healthcare and near-instant compensation for any damages the villain of the week decides to bestow upon your shallow little heads," I advanced half a step towards Strange, hands bailed into tight fists, internally rejoicing at the way he leaned back. My blood sang with adrenaline as I breathed the exhilaration.

"But how many people do you overlook? How many children never make it because your super secret organisation gives their parents an ultimatum just because they are different? This is a safe space for the ones you pretend not to see until it's convenient and it will stay that way, over my fucking dead body, if need be," I stared at the tall man, almost physically feeling his brain halt and pause with the cartoony sound of screeching tires. Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't this.

A pregnant pause hung in the air, both of us waiting for the other to explode.

"Don't you think I am aware," Strange finally seethed through gritted teeth, alarming golden sparks shining in his eyes. "The Avengers are not under the rule of SHIELD and I, personally, have no affiliation with either. I do not condone their barbaric methods," the man was struggling to form his sentences properly but even despite that, I understood his ideas.

I desperately wanted to believe his words to be true, I really did, but... "Then do your fucking job and let me do mine. I do not go out there and intervene, I merely clean up the mess you all leave. Something that nobody wants to do do, so unless you've got any takers, I'll keep helping those you deem unfit," in a fit of muted rage, I flew my arm to point at the abandoned cars and destroyed concrete outside of the window, the empty street and the clouds of dust rising into the moody skies.

The entrance door flew open suddenly, with a force strong enough to bang the heavy, old handle against something outside, letting in the stuffy air inside the bodega. Strange jumped at the sound of the screaming hinges, my own heart skipping a beat from the startling interruption.

Visibly composing himself, the man pierced me with a final stare before starting a dangerously quiet, "Very well, goodbye," and hightailing it out of Odette's before disappearing in a golden circle just outside the front porch.

I let my shoulders sag for a brief moment of respite, feeling the tension bleed out of me and penetrate every nook and cranny in the room. My protection charms were mostly destroyed, silver dull, glass and amber crackled. Tossing them into the appropriate recycling bin, I set to clean up the shop, flying through the motions in record time and wandering home through the damaged streets on autopilot.

My anger had cost me more than a fortune in my past but no matter how much I sought to reason with myself, I couldn't bring it to justify Strange's attitude towards my choices. The more I thought about it, the less rational my guesses became; I forced myself to stop thinking about it when my brain had unhelpfully supplied an absurd notion of him being jealous of my lifestyle: he knew next to nothing of my skills and his opinion was based solely on seeing me work the store front and one cleansing spell I'd performed on Bucky. There was simply no rational explanation for his behaviour.

NYC life wasn't affected by the battle in the slightest, it seemed; a day and a half later, I was back at Jeremy's, serving overpriced hot beverages to the rich and the busy. I'd slept on the Bucky and Strange situation, got a handle on my feelings and decided to simply put it away. There were other, more pressing things to worry about than a couple of men.

I didn't expect the flood of anxiety that turned my hands to lead upon seeing Tony Stark's signature suit-and-sunglasses wearing ass waltz into the café. He flashed me his usual easy grin but didn't remove his glasses, eyes eerily blank behind them, as he motioned for his usual order before leaning on the countertop with the entirety of his upper body. "So, Starshine, what is it exactly that you do?" Came the question I was dreading. "Are you, like, a witch? The broomstick and cauldron kind?"

"Mr. Stark, I am serving you coffee and a muffin as we speak," I replied curtly, raising an eyebrow.

"Drop the act, honeybuns. I thought we were friends," if I squinted, I could see that he was genuinely hurt by my lack of desire to communicate. Or, perhaps, he simply was unused to not satisfying his curiosities immediately.

Either way, I stood no chance against Stark patented puppy eyes. "I clock out at two," a sigh of epic magnitude left my mouth against my will. "You can interrogate me then. Until that, it's lattes and cheesecakes only."

Tony narrowed his eyes, smile warming up by a smidgen. "Interrogate you? Never," he pocketed the napkin with Dr. Banner's scribbles the doc had forgotten last time. "I'm merely curious." Another flash of his teeth and he was gone, taking what little peace I had left along with him.

The hands on the clock made their hurried rounds over and over. My chest had grown it's own set of ticking, grinding, mismatched gears as the endless possibilities coursed a steady stream through my head. Tony Stark was a wild card, his struggles with authority a widely known fact, as frequent as his strange habits in just about anything. And while I doubted I would get ambushed and locked up, I had no qualms of him berating me for telling off his boyfriend. He seemed like the possessive, overprotective type, anyways.

As soon as I exited the café, surrounded by the smells of flour and coffee grounds, my eyes immediately landed on the shiny, brand new Audi illegally parked right in front of the establishment, it's owner leisurely leaning against the hood with a face of contented boredom as passerby pedestrians shamelessly ogled him and his ride. His face lit up as he noticed me, immediately rushing to hold the passenger side door open for my comfort. "M'lady," the dorky remark didn't fail to summon a smile to my face even if it was a weak shadow of my usual camaraderie.

"Mr. Stark," I greeted him as soon as he peeled off the crowded sidewalk.

The lack of joy on my face didn't go unnoticed by him and every now and then, he snuck a glance at my face. "Relax, Starshine, I won't bite."

"Well," I mumbled, remembering the vicious way I had torn into his boyfriend. "Good to know."

Seeing as that didn't do much for my nerves, he suddenly swerved right, rushing into a busy intersection with the ease of a practiced manic driver. "I'm feeling like a cheeseburger," he announced unceremoniously, pulling into a parking lot of some place I never noticed.

I doubted that I could swallow anything at all but relented, sitting down opposite him in the furthest booth from the entrance. I ordered the biggest milkshake they had as Tony grinned big at the waitress, finally taking off his sunglasses when she left for the kitchen.

I rested my elbows on the table under the scrutiny of his gaze. He kept quiet. I couldn't hold back my curiosity any more. "So?"

His sharp, clever brown eyes captured and held mine for the longest second in my life. I struggled not to break eye contact until he relented, focusing on the shine of my rings instead. "RoboCop almost died from the shit that happened to him," Tony's words were curt. I inhaled sharply, assuming he was talking about Barnes. The engineer's fingers began to fiddle with his glasses. "We couldn't figure out how you helped him. Not the medical, not Banner, not me and and not even Steph," he paused to run a hand through his hair. "Barnes was hit with a poisoned arrow. There were no toxins left in his body, not even a single inflammation marker showed up on the tests." With that, Tony expectantly turned to me.

I chewed on my lip in contemplation. "Magic," I simply answered, figuring Strange had already briefed him about my occupation.

Tony shook his head with a snort. "Magic that the Sorcerer Supreme doesn't recognize or cannot detect?" The question was saved in nature.

Stephen Strange was Sorcerer Supreme and I had pissed him off and remained alive. I couldn't believe my luck, if Odette's stories were anything to go by. Inwardly rejoicing, I nonetheless resigned to answer truthfully. "Because there is nothing to detect, no foreign energy," I tried to phrase it in a way a scientist could understand. "What I use to heal, it is given me by nature and willingly. Think of me as a... Conductor. I merely store the energy short-term and direct it where it is needed."

That sparked a visible interest in Tony. He leaned forward, running my whole form, over and over, with his sharp eyes, searching for something I knew he wouldn't find. "Like... Making a blood transfusion?" It was obvious that he was thinking hard about the subject. "Like a successful organ transplant?"

"Something like that," I agreed amicably, seeing as he was talking at himself rather than engaging in a conversation with me.

"But it doesn't come from nothing, the first law of thermodynamics..." He started off in slight confusion.

"Yes, the total amount of energy remains constant," I interrupted him, making his eyes widen. "It's all around us, Mr. Stark. You cannot see it, and most people even cannot feel it, but mother Earth supports her creations. More than we like to think," the corner of my mouth tilted upward at the memories. Working with Gaia directly was like being briefly submersed in a cocoon of pure, warm sunshine; like being held in mother's arms as a babe. "She is kind and she is merciful, especially to the ones whose suffering is unjust," I let the man mull over my words.

The waitress brought our orders; my throat was parched, I took a few haste gulps of the chocolate milkshake. Tony's burger, however, remained unnoticed and untouched.

"Earth is a sentient organism?"

The question made my eyebrows rise; I coughed slightly, meeting his confused eyes with a smirk. "Mr. Stark, keep your science headcanons to yourself," the banter came easily now that the status quo was established.

He rolled his eyes, fitfully resisting the smile tugging at his mouth. "I'm telling on you to Mean Green," there was no malice behind his words.

I doubted the shy scientist would do much more than stutter out two jumbled questions but let the topic slide in favour of closing up on the issue. "Would you call a wolf sentient? No," I shook my head. "But it is autonomous, it has free will. Think of it like that," I wasn't really up to par on explaining Tony all the ins and outs of my craft. The more I spoke, the more questions danced in his eyes. It was charming but not something I wanted to spend most of my day on.

"I won't pretend to be anything but sceptical but as it is, I happen to be dating a wizard," the engineer finally chortled, making hands for his burger. He made a vague gesture with his fork, expression still not-quite out of the thinking place.

"They say opposites attract," I shrugged.

"Romanoff keeps saying we're two sides of the same coin, so," he non-commitally shrugged in return. "Can't help but wonder what the fuck did you tell him that day. He was seething," Tony raised an eyebrow, tone teasing.

"Oh lord," I briefly palmed my face. "Here comes the shovel talk."

"No, no," a fry landed on the table in front of me. I snatched it right from under Tony's hand. He pouted. "He probably deserved it. I mean, you saved the Terminator and, honestly," he paused. "I heard about one third of his rant and I distinctly remember something about 'girls way over their heads' and whatnot," he did a poor imitation of his boyfriend's deep voice. "Now, I consider myself a feminist so, respectfully, I disagree," he finished with a self-satisfied smirk.

I blanked, trying to process the avalanche of information. "That's a lot to unpack," I acquiesced.

"It means he likes you. I would know," the man had the audacity to wink at me. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was Tony Stark.

"Are you hitting on me for your boyfriend?" I couldn't resist snarking back, briefly catching his eyes as I polished off my milkshake.

Tony looked at me through his thick, long lashes, a picture perfect visage of surprised innocence. "Maybe," his tone a little too south of friendly, the direction of his eyes a bit lower than my face.

The snort escaped me before I could put a stop to it. The banter - it was easy, comforting in this situation where I found myself to be akin a fish out of water. Like I was a slightly socially awkward witch, Tony was a genius engineer and a notorious flirt. He toed the lines of appropriate with practiced gusto and I hadn't had the heart to do anything but indulge in a little bit of harmless fun ever since he first stepped foot in the café, seeing right through his stone cold facade of an alleged womaniser. Call it a hunch, if you will.

Say what you want about Tony Stark but one thing was definite: he was a gentleman. I thoroughly enjoyed my ride home in his expensive, fast, latest model car. As the city streets zoomed by in a flurry of blurred lines and flashing colorful lights, I allowed my mind to finally calm and resume it's usual even wandering pace.

A hand loosely thrown over the steering wheel, Tony quietly hummed along to the music, playing with the hem of his tee whenever it wasn't occupied with driving the car. He looked so peaceful like that.

The sound system played some contemporary rock that blended in with the moderately busy afternoon of the NYC streets, submerging the surroundings in catharsis. Grey everything with the occasional burst of colour from a traffic light; the brief car ride lulled me into a state almost drowsy.

"You with me, Salem?" Tony's voice quietly took me out of my stupor.

I blinked, seeing the front door of my apartment building. "Yeah, yeah, thanks," I didn't resist the big, wide smile of relief and rejoiced upon seeing his face return to his normal expression, sparkling and mischievous. "That's my stop," I motioned lamely.

Something hung in the air, something unsaid. It leaked through the gaps between Tony's smile and his eyes, it filled up the car with something thick and foggy. I was powerless to stop its influence on me; the daze remained just as it was when we zoomed through city streets.

Tony's fingers twitched on the steering wheel as I exited the vehicle, giving him a short wave before he put pedal to the metal, quickly disappearing into the twilight. I watched his tail lights glow red amongst the flat blacks and greys and beiges of my surroundings, blinking away the dryness in my eyes only when the car disappeared from my view completely.

My apartment was just as I'd left it, warm and slightly messy- but a new feeling had crawled up from the very gutter of me, foreign and impending. The walls didn't breathe the comfort I had hoped I would finally find: if anything, none of what I encountered on my rapid beeline towards the couch felt real.

I'd grown accustomed to the comforts of my solitude and routine, to attached to the simplest task of being. Sorting through my dirty laundry had never been a favourable ordeal for me, I'd much rather lived in a relatively wide bubble- rationally, I knew that sooner or later, change had have to come, but there was nothing ever rational about having feelings on one matter or another.

My spirit was trying to tell me big things were coming and I had no choice but to listen and let the currents of fate and happenstance snatch me up and take me whichever way they pleased.

Taglist: @couldntbedamned @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @mostly-marvel-musings @persephonehemingway @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites @xoxabs88xox

#practical alchemy #bun writes #tony stark x reader x stephen strange #stephen strange x reader x tony stark #Stephen Strange x reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

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ghosthan · 3 years

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what would you say are the differences between 616 Tony and MCU Tony? 🤔

Hi anon! Many people have talked about this and I'm certainly not the authority on the topic, but I’ll try my best to explain some of the major differences that I have noticed! Thank you for asking and I’m sorry it took me so long to answer you.

Important to note: neither version of Tony has had a totally consistent characterization. Depending on who you ask and which comics/movies they've consumed, they might give you a different answer here and not be wrong.

616 Tony is even harder to put into one box because his character has been around since Tales of Suspense in the 1950s. That’s a long time. Things have changed over time, under different writers, changing political atmospheres, and outside pop culture influence (including influence from the MCU, unfortunately, in recent years.) You get the picture. So I’ll be making some generalizations and try to be clear about which eras I’m speaking when I make these comparisons, but ultimately, if someone wanted to be contrarian, you could probably refute a lot of what I say here if you cherry pick canon. Which is fair enough! That’s sort of the fun of comics, there’s so much to choose from and something for everyone.

So here are some observations from me, under the ‘read more’.

1. Physical Appearance

This is sort of an easy one, but worth mentioning!

MCU Tony does not look like 616 Tony. RDJ is great, but he would not be most 616 fans’ casting choice on looks alone. MCU Tony is tan, a Malibu man, with brown hair and brown eyes, and RDJ has sort of round facial features (a funny sloped nose, big, round eyes, round forehead, not a particularly sharp or classically “superhero masculine” face.) As you may know, this lends well to certain fanworks and tropes, such as Tony having Bambi eyes.

Or Tiny Tony. He is not actually canonically small, but he's smaller in the MCU than in 616 and from what I can tell, a portion of fandom has latched onto that. He’s a grown man, but RDJ is pretty short, and of slighter build than 616 Tony. RDJ is 5′9, but they make him act in heels, and I believe his canon MCU height is 5′11. Another popular trope I’ve seen is shrinking Tony in fanfic/fanart for a dramatized height difference with Steve, making him weak or fragile; this is fine because everyone has their own taste, but for the official record, he’s a capable, strong guy! Especially in earlier stages of the MCU, in which he’s a bit younger. Tony isn’t just a brain; he carries out his plans with his own two hands! He builds his armor, he remodels his lab, he survives hand to hand combat when he doesn’t have the armor. Muscles!

616 Tony is 6′1 without armor and 6′6 in armor (making him taller than his 616 Steve counterpart in armor and very close to the same height out of armor!) 616 Tony is generally paler with black hair (sometimes the classic blue-black I love so much) and blue eyes, and it obviously depends on the artist, but he has a pretty typically ‘masculine’ face and build. Generally he is drawn with a squared jaw and a high bridged nose (such as in the Extremis storyline, or drawn by Marquez), but again, this varies from artist to artist! Here's some examples of 616 Tonys.

Wait, you might be saying, but I have seen comic panels where Tony has brown hair/brown eyes!

Yep. Due to a combination of forgetfulness, inconsistency, and the MCU bleeding into the general consciousness of the comics, sometimes Tony is randomly depicted in the image of RDJ, or if not in his image, at least visually inspired by the MCU-- hair color and style, eye color, dialogue, etc.

616 fans don’t typically love this; he’s very handsome when drawn this way, of course, (look at him!) But it isn’t really the same character.

Also, MCU Tony has (at least for some of his movies) a reactor built into his chest. While 616 Tony has, at times, been more or less physically connected/dependent to his tech, he doesn’t have the built in reactor (most generally speaking, there are times in comics when he temporarily has the tech built in, but this isn’t really the status quo.)

2. Relationship with parents/ family history

While it is definitely implied in the MCU that Howard was not a good father to Tony, (such as in Iron Man 2 when Tony says “You're talking about a man whose happiest day of his life was shipping me off to boarding school” and “He was cold, calculating, never told me he loved me, never even told me he liked me”), Tony has a different sort of attitude toward Howard in MCU than in 616. It’s kind of weird, and hard to discuss. To me, it seems implied that MCU Howard was emotionally abusive to Tony based on what Tony does say about his childhood, and yet, the films kind of randomly give Howard weird moments of “Well, he tried his best and deep down he loved me the whole time!” forgiveness. MCU has a Howard kink and I'm very cringe-face emoji about it.

For example, Iron Man 2 shows that old film reel of Howard talking about how Tony is the greatest thing he ever created, and in Endgame, when Tony goes back in time, he meets Howard and has a very weird interaction with him in which Howard declares he would do anything for his son, (to his deeply damaged son who is a new father himself.) Yet, for all his talk, it's his actions that speak, and his actions left Tony damaged, traumatized, and emotionally inept at forming healthy relationships. So.

Sorry. I’m a little bitter. I'm just uncomfortable with how they sort of set up an abuse history but then treated it kind of lightly and Howard gets off the hook as "well, he tried his best" without really acknowledging the hurt he caused.

Avengers: Endgame 2019

I won't go super in depth into the abuse stuff because it's a little touchy and could take up a lot of this post. But.

I’m not against any reconciliation and I do appreciate the fact that a lot of times, victims of abuse feel a desire to forgive and reconnect with their abuser-- my issue with the MCU depiction of Tony and Howard is that Tony never really gets the vindication of his abuse being recognized for what it was before he forgives Howard. To me, that’s not forgiveness as kind of... gaslighting himself that it wasn't as bad as he remembered his own experience being, because of a sense of nostalgia and grief. It’s not the same, and I have issues with it.

However, a lot of my opinion is based on subtext and it is just my opinion; with depictions of abuse, different people are going to react differently, and other people may have found these scenes touching and gotten something positive out of them, and that's totally fine too!

It’s also a bit difficult to talk about Tony’s relationship with Howard in 616, for a few reasons: shifting timelines, lots of canon that I have not read all of, and the fact that it really is difficult to sum up such a complicated relationship.

Right off the bat, I’ll address the basics. I used the same scene in another ask, and I think it's frequently cited in any meta regarding Howard, but in Iron Man Vol. 1, we see more into Tony’s childhood and see Howard verbally abusing his family, drunk, at the dinner table.

Iron Man Vol. 1 #285

We get this scene with adult Tony’s retrospective commentary on how his own issues that he blamed himself for were actually a cycle starting with his father, the insecurity and abuse and alcohol, and that he realizes how much this has influenced him. Both MCU Tony and 616 Tony have some form of “stop the cycle of shame” arcs, but I don’t really see how this works narratively in the MCU because Tony makes excuses for Howard and continues to blame himself for a lot of his own personal struggles, whereas I think there’s just a bit more nuance in 616.

But uh. This isn’t totally true, and in recent years, things got real weird. I choose to ignore this chapter of canon, but in the Dan Slott run, Tony Stark: Iron Man, Tony’s whole backstory gets imploded. For one thing, the little of Tony’s childhood it shows in a flashback is uh. Uh. Well, it’s certainly out of character compared with previous 616 material, depicting Tony as an overly confident poor sport.

Basically, Tony is adopted. Tony has an evil brother. Tony’s biological parents make an appearance, as do his ‘classic’ parents, Howard and Maria. It’s just weird. It’s kind of out there. I’m honestly not a huge fan of this and ignore a lot of it, but it is certainly a difference between MCU and 616.

3. Personality

I’m going to be very general. Both Tony’s have an outer self which they present to the public and an inner self, but they’re a bit different. Both Tony’s have struggled with self loathing, but I think MCU Tony’s actual self worth is a bit higher, even just at some points in time. Even if his ego is part of his facade, I think he does believe some amount of the “I’m awesome”, even if just when it applies to his own work/inventions/saving people. Not to say that these moments of fluctuating self esteem make him egotistical, but this combined with his egotistical act and snarky, non-stop sassy dialogue, he’s quite different in general personality from 616 Tony, who is much more reserved.

Some more recent iterations of 616 Tony have been adapted to reflect the snark of the MCU, but he’s not so snarky and he tends to approach things more seriously. This is not a dis on MCU Tony; I think MCU Tony uses false ego and excessive sassy jokes as a means to deflect and control, which I think is very interesting and it’s nice to see this explored more in depth in fic where you get to see the thought process behind the bravado. MCU Tony is a partier, a good times guy, especially during Iron Man 2, in which he really does disregard consequences to have fun (driving his race car, partying drunk in his suit, letting pretty girls play with the armor, shooting off repulsor blasts for fun in a crowded room); I’m not bashing MCU Tony-- I think he had psychologically understandable reasons for behaving this way, the man was dying-- but 616 Tony really doesn’t act this way generally, and I think it’s a personality difference more than a difference of one being “better.”

616 Tony handles his stress differently, and they just have different psychological patterns, I think. I’m coming up kind of blank trying to think of a good comparable 616 arc, (sorry, I’m brain dead) but a less-than-perfect example might be Tony’s brain delete arc; he’s “dying”, like in Iron Man 2 he knows his expiration date, (circumstances are quite a bit different), but he throws himself more into work, into a cause, and as he really fall apart, we see him spiral into self doubt, remorse, fear, and insecurity, sort of falling into himself with lots of manly tears and calling himself pathetic.

(Some things happen in this arc that a lot of people find Gross. I also find these events gross. But. I don’t count the sex in “World’s Most Wanted” as partying to cope with personal mortality, because I think both character involved are in “end of the world” mode, and it’s more seeking intimacy for comfort than partying to numb the hurt. Does this distinction make sense? No? Perfect, moving on.) 616 Tony is generally much more humble.

Whereas MCU Tony, I think, tries to outrun those feelings via parties or making dozens of new suits, or seeking comfort by comforting others! Gifting things to people, building things for people, highly personalized individual living quarters, teaching Nebula games and trying to show her a fun time when they were in peril together.

They have some traits in common, for sure! But canon being inconsistent both in the MCU and in 616, my observations aren’t the rule, because I’m kind of cherry picking and going based on limited memory. But off the top of my head, they’re both extravagant gift givers! Recall Tony gifting Pepper the giant bunny in Iron Man 3, and compare this with Tony carrying a mile high pile of Christmas gifts after shopping with Rumiko in Iron Man Vol. #3.

I would say that while both Tony Starks are considered humanitarians, this is much more fleshed out and supported by canon in 616. Some examples of his philanthropy in the MCU: Tony makes charitable donations of art and money, Tony has an organization which provides disaster relief/cleanup which is referenced in Spider-Man Homecoming, Tony has an MIT grant for students and staff members. But to be honest, a lot of his MCU philanthropy is only mentioned in passing, or is largely handled by other people on his behalf and on his dollar.

In 616, we see Tony using charity almost as a means of therapy: it’s something he does very privately, not in the public eye (at least, not always), and it’s something deeply personal to him. One example that immediately comes to mind is Tony’s home for disadvantaged girls in Iron Man Vol. 3, and we see scenes of Tony basically driving the streets at night, picking up underage prostitutes, feeding them and listening to their stories before bringing them to a home he’s established where he knows all the residents, and provides educational opportunities and protection.

Another more recent example in canon that the Tony fandom loves is that Tony canonically holds babies at an orphanage. Sorry I don’t have panels for all of this, this section got long and I have been working on answering this ask in a very scattered way for a very long time.

Both Tony’s are romantics, I literally could write a whole other post about their canon love life similarities and differences, but I will briefly say that while MCU Tony does the long on and off, and eventual ultimate commitment, to Pepper Potts, 616 Tony is a serial monogamist; he is always falling in love, and he’s definitely not a playboy, but the hero-ing, self loathing, and lifestyle make it very hard for him to keep anyone in his life, and most of his partners fuck his life up and betray him. Needless to say, 616 Tony is not married, and certainly not to Pepper Potts.

Oh, and I guess this is so obvious I almost forgot to include it, but a huge similarity between both iterations of Tony is that they both constantly use their own life as a bargaining chip, and will pretty much die for anything. Or be the bad guy for a good reason (at least, in his own mind... see Civil War, or Hickmanvengers; 616 Tony, especially, does not shy away from making the hard decisions, and this leads to a lot of guilt and tension in his relationships-- often with Steve because 616 Steve/Tony angst fans are well fed, I guess)

Remember that time Tony had Steve’s mind wiped because Tony felt that Steve’s inflexible morality might hinder the Illuminati’s ability to save the world? And it eats Tony up inside and erupts into a homicidal fight when Steve finally gets his memory back? Me too.

Tony Stark as a character is defined by sacrifice, both of his own life but also of his own happiness and reputation and conscience, I think, in a lot of ways, and we see this in many universes. I could go on about Tony’s propensity for sacrifice in the less obvious ways, because I think in terms of heroic sacrifice, Tony has done a lot that other heroes wouldn’t be able to do because of moral inflexibility and conflicting philosophical schools of thought; Tony really is the “whatever it takes” type, and often believes the ends justify the means if he deems a threat worse than the potential wrong that could be done in preventing the threat. We see this a little bit in the MCU in the creation of Ultron, and in Civil War with the Accords. But there’s a whole lot more going on there I don’t want to get into.

4. Alcohol

MCU Tony’s alcoholism is never really explicitly explored. He is shown drinking in Iron Man 1, and in Iron Man 2 he drinks a lot and makes a fool of himself publicly, but MCU Tony doesn’t get any specific narrative arc focused on his drinking, and if I recall correctly, I don’t think he ever refers to his drinking as alcoholism in the movies? Also, while his binge drinking and embarrassing behaviors ostensibly stop after the events of Iron Man 2, he is shown drinking on screen at least one other time after that which I can remember, and it wasn’t a “falling off the wagon” moment, and an alcoholic in recovery such as 616 Tony would not take a drink casually. This article sheds a little light on some decisions made about Tony and alcohol in the MCU.

Alcoholism is a huge part of 616 Tony’s personality, which I went a bit more into depth about in this post, so I won’t repeat myself too much.

5. Their relationships with the Iron Man armor

A few points here: MCU Tony is famous for the “I am Iron Man” line being repeated throughout the franchise after he blows his own secret in the end of the first movie. MCU Tony sees himself as one with Iron Man, and the suit is the tech that enables him to be this version of himself. He sees Tony Stark and Iron Man as inextricable: you cannot separate them, and his identity is public. He, as Tony Stark, is an Avenger.

You may remember MCU Tony’s induction into the Avengers; in Iron Man 2, Nick Fury is forming the Avengers and tasks the Black Widow with going undercover to assess Tony to be a part of a hypothetical initiative. “Iron Man yes, Tony Stark no” and the comments about Tony as a narcissist may be funny, but the fact is, the snark and erratic personality of MCU Tony at the time of the formation of the Avengers in the movies is not at all like the Tony of the comics, at the time of the Avengers being formed.

In 616, things are quite a bit different! Tony invents the Iron man armor to save himself (like in the MCU) and uses it for hero-ing, but in secret. He works very hard to protect his identity as Iron Man, and for a long time, as far as the world is concerned, Iron man is a mystery man piloting armor built by Tony, hired as Tony’s personal body guard, (hence the 616 Steve/Tony fandom’s proclivity for identity porn as a trope!) When the Avengers form, Iron Man is the Avenger, close friends with the Avengers, (particularly Steve!) and Tony Stark is just the benefactor of the Avengers, providing them with a place to live and finances with which to operate.

In the very early days, Tony did not have the “reactor” like in the MCU, but his chest plate did keep him alive, leading to some very dramatic shots of Tony charging up using a wall socket, lamenting the plight of a secret hero.

616 Tony, generally, and especially in some of these earlier comics, was quite reserved, rather serious, and very angsty, (in private of course.) He may be wealthy, but speaking generally, he’s much less ostentatious than MCU Tony, less of a show off, less into flashy things and grand gestures. Of course, this isn’t always true in the comics, and some iterations of Tony are more like this than others, but MCU Tony is showier, sillier, and more of a fun-times guy. Any MCU fan would find those panels quite contrary to the Tony Stark you know:

Iron Man 1

Iron Man 2

I think I would say that while MCU Tony sees himself and the Iron Man identity and the armor as all being inextricably connected, we see a bit more compartmentalization with 616 Tony, who pretends that the armor is a whole separate person for years when his identity was private, and we see instances in older and newer comics, in which Tony is uncomfortable with some aspect of himself as Iron Man (for instance, during the second drinking arc, Tony temporarily swears off being Iron Man entirely, or for another example, when Tony is in a comma and Tony AI exists during Secret Empire, Tony “lives” in the Iron Man suit, and I think this could be interpreted as a meta parallel to Steve during this arc; Steve has had some core aspect of his character inverted, Captain America becoming Captain Hydra, so Tony experiences a similar inversion-- Tony Stark and Iron Man are forcibly merged, in a way that Tony seems deeply uncomfortable with, if his digital drinking relapse is any indication. But I digress; sorry for the tangent.)

Okay this post is inexcusable long, and very, very tangential, and I don’t feel like I’ve really covered everything I wanted to. But it has been sitting in my inbox for too long and if I don’t post it now I never will, so I hope this long, rambling thing has been a little bit helpful to you! Thank you so much for asking, I had a lot of fun rambling about this.

If you want to read a similar post, but well written and organized, with other insights, this post by Sineala answers a similar question!

#Anonymous #han reads comics #han meta #meta #iron man #tony stark #616 tony stark #616 #mcu #long post #han speaks #ask #sorry this definitely gets more incomprehensible as it goes on but i have been writing and rewriting and editing and fretting about this #for so long that if i dont just post it i probably never will and i sunk too many hours into it #to throw it away now 😅#abuse tw #abuse #alcoholism tw #alcoholism

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eyedelater · 2 years

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jujutsu kaisen thoughts post (with spoilers)

if you are a huge jujutsu kaisen fan, you might not like my frank opinions.

i started reading the manga because my coworker said the anime was really good and i felt like reading manga. i got to like chapter 50, and i was like okay, let's go ahead and start watching the anime too, because why not? now i have watched all 24 episodes of anime and read up to chapter 130ish of the manga. so here are my accumulated thoughts that i've been loosely chewing on while reading and watching.

my overall impression is that itadori yuji isn't especially compelling to me as a protagonist because he doesn't particularly have anything striking about him... his character design is fine. he's grappling with figuring out exactly what he wants while incorporating his grandpa's dying wish. he's incredibly physically strong. he doesn't take fall damage (my conclusion based on observation). he's a naturally cheerful type but doesn't seem to have friends left over from middle school(?). he's reckless and compassionate, but conflicted about both. and he has a crazy demon inhabiting his body (but it doesn't affect his actions THAT often). all of these things make sense for a shounen protagonist, but none of them makes me love him as the main character. what is especially compelling about itadori yuji?

(i have to admit that having only seen a few reblogged gifs of itadori, fushiguro, and kugisaki all together, i had kinda thought that fughiguro was the main character right up until i started reading? i think his character design is a little more fun, with his silly hair that nobody remarks upon. i have been forcibly ignoring his obvious resemblance to kageyama ritsu.)

my second overall impression is that akutami-sensei is good at what they do, but i'm not... delighted? yeah. i'm also struck by the amount (at least in latter chapters, during the shibuya incident) of wordless fight scenes. i know the laughable tendency in shounen manga is that everyone in a fight is absurdly explaining at length what they do as they do it (and jujutsu kaisen has even kind of incorporated/subverted that trope in that explaining your power gives you a boost) but i do think that some amount of dialogue or yelling out your move's name or explanatory reactions are necessary to make a manga fight worthwhile and fun to read. reading a bunch of chapters with endless wordless fight scenes has been somehow tiring, even though the moves are cool and the art is good. it becomes difficult to quickly understand what is going on. i kept forcing myself to go back and linger on panels to try to understand instead of just sliding past them impatiently...

my third overall impression is that the anime is better than the manga! it builds on what is not perfectly clear in the manga and adds things (tone of voice, timing, sound effects, clarity of fight scenes) that actually, in my opinion, improve upon the source material. this is a rare opinion for me to have. while watching the anime, i kept thinking, "i should be watching this at 0.75x speed so i can actually appreciate all the amazing character animation." all the voice acting was good! i didn't really find anything bad or annoying or subpar about the anime compared to the manga in any way!!! i didn't notice any particular squashing or stretching of manga content into the episodes. the flow of events felt natural. i feel like events carried their emotional weight better in the anime than in the manga. most of the jujusanpos were delightful. i really think MAPPA hit it out of the park with this one. i will note that everyone got much sexier in the anime, which is neither here nor there.

one of my favorite characters ended up being nanami because i have a soft spot for very serious characters with something weird about them. ohh, his khaki suit is so bad! that tie! those goggles?! i love it. i intend to catch up with the manga before i look at ANY fanart because i like to be diligent about spoilers. and i have a bit of a strange attitude in my mind toward deceased characters in that i tend to want to leave them behind and not think about them or see fanart about them. so you can imagine that i'm a little bit pissed that namami got fucking blown to smithereens in chapter 120. now i'll have frustrated and ambivalent feelings about the nanami fanart i've been looking forward to... (kneads temples)

my overallest impression is that i am not entirely taken in by the broad premise, the system of superpowers that makes up the backbone of jujutsu kaisen. the classification of sorcerers into grades is pretty much null and void by this point because all the first-years can take out a special-grade on their own, and special-grade is too broad a category in the first place. i read the entire chainsaw man manga right before this (felt like reading manga for the first time in a while, and when i caught up, i moved on to JJK), and i keep being struck by the similarities. you know, curses and devils both being the product of negative human emotions. main character has one of the baddies inside him. go out with some friends and fight some baddies. just as tokyo ghoul and parasyte are two of a kind in my mind, jujutsu kaisen and chainsaw man are two of a kind. i keep making unfavorable comparisons, and i actually think the chainsaw man manga was a little bit more fun than jujutsu kaisen? just because it's so unapologetically unhinged. i guess what i'm trying to say is, i don't especially love the overarching premise or story of jujutsu kaisen, but i guess it works, and i have been enjoying the characters. so i will probably keep up with the manga (once i catch up, which might happen as soon as today), and i will eagerly await the next season of the anime. but i don't think it is as fun to read as some other shounen mangas.

(on a brief chainsaw man note, since i don't feel like making a separate post, the fact that MAPPA did a great job on the jujutsu kaisen anime is giving me high hopes for the chainsaw man anime! i'm looking forward to that.)

edit because i don't want to make a separate post saying just this: IJICHI IS 26???

another edit: i've been mulling over the negative reaction i had and while i don't think my own points are invalid, i do think i might want to reread the manga and try to give it more of a chance. part of this is because i saw the sheer magnitude of fanart on pixiv and it really hit me that JJK is reaching a lot of people's hearts... so although i take a tone of finality in this post, i think it should be regarded as more of a "first impressions" post, and my feelings might change drastically in the future. though i still disagree emotionally and narratively with the decision to kill off nanami. still very annoyed about that.

#jujutsu kaisen spoilers

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lyeekha · 3 years

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In the mirror he could see Ernest stood behind him, tie tucked safely into his vest, sleeves rolled up and a towel slung over one shoulder. He had ushered Lemony to a seat with a headrest, politely remaining in eyeline and not making any surreptitious-looking movements. He had removed his suit jacket and pointed out that, really, you needed to be topless for this, and Lemony had said oh yes, of course, as if this had slipped his mind instead of caused him to hesitate, and taken off his shirt, and nobody had made a fuss about it, and he had actually relaxed, and now Ernest was rubbing something into his neck that smelt... incredible. It smelt of summer.

The manager was obviously skilled, that hadn't been a lie. His palms worked the oil across his flesh with just the right firmness and friction to make his skin tingle. His fingertips pressed confidently into the exact hollows that made him hum with appreciation. He wanted more than anything to drift off and allow himself to be looked after, but Lemony was still playing the game. He had to be. As casually as possible, he watched Ernest's reflection. The man seemed totally absorbed in his work. In fact, Ernest looked more peaceful than he had ever seen him before. The enigmatic smile didn't seem as forced, though still impenetrable. A slight, strange frown of concentration was on his brow. Something ancient stirred in the back of Lemony's mind. He could believe that this was a genuine pleasure for Ernest, no matter what other motives were in play. The attraction of a simple, intimate, uncomplicated, repetitive task. Lemony cleared his throat and summoned a more jovial tone.

Thank you!!! (Pick a passage or comic chapter of mine for commentary)

this ones from Double Edged so, spoilers for that. sorry if its too much and maybe incomprehensible i just wrote everything i thought in a stream

The idea of rival spies in a truce having an unspoken etiquette about making sure the other person can see what they’re doing clearly at all times really amused me and also seemed like a natural progression for people who just, Live Like This all the time. Kind of like the body language animals develop to deliberately signal trust and lack of threat? Like when cats do the long blink or prey animals make a big show of laying down near you. Of course then you have it as a reassuring gesture, and that gesture being false, and I’ve set myself up for the whole rest of the thing to be about successfully and realistically (enough) distracting Lemony without him noticing.

Humans are the animals that do this too, of course. it is the same thing as normal body language just made more pointed. I have Ernest as having complete control over his body language and complete observation of everyone elses, in a Derren Brown type reading/manipulation style.

I like slipping dialogue into the narration here because it cuts out a lot of stuff that’s boring to read and skips a bit of time by having Lemony reflect on things that have just happened. the whole thing is in past tense but this is like, a few minutes further past tense than everything else. Means I can just put the pertinent things. Also it was very important for this bit to happen very fast so that you get his POV sense of being swept along with ‘naturally unfolding’ events. It buries the fact that Ernest now has possession of Lemony’s jacket by making the second half of that sentence much more engaging and interesting looking and easy to move on to - which is exactly what Ernest is doing by saying something distracting as he performs the natural gesture. It’s all about giving the reader the same experience as Lemony, that’s the goal for this one.

Lem is a bit nervous about taking clothes off - which is reasonable, actually - but also he’s a bit precious about it in general because of a lifetime habit of showing skin equalling danger (tattoo) and being vulnerable (without disguise or situation-appropriate clothing). I’m thinking of socks and the symbolic importance of clothes in atwq, the reliance on the disguise kit forever, the scene-appropriate netflix outfits to blend in all the time. That’s whats canon anyway - this all also contributes to my headcanon of trans Lemony, and I made sure to imply top surgery scars in the illustration. Again, vital to remember that its Lem’s POV (even though it’s not in first person), so ‘nobody made a fuss about it’ both tells you his relief that no comment about his body (whether salacious or surprise or mockery) was made and cements that he was nervous in the first place.

Of course Ernest wouldnt say anything, or even visibly react at all. He is a practiced expert of the service industry.

This is also in contrast with Jacques, who has complete confidence in showing skin. Lem feigning absent-mindedness to disguise hesitation feeds into the overall ongoing thing of Lemony trying to be smooth, and I reckon hes’s coping by pulling directly from how he’s seen Jacques act. This whole seductive wiles angle isn’t really Lemony’s scene and his awkward phrasing and justifications in his own thoughts about it reflects this. Pretending to be going along with stuff he can do, but the playful flirty aspect is different and throws him a bit. So its pretty much all from what he knows of J’s playbook. Of course Ernest isn’t fooled by the faux casualness, and Lemony knows he isnt, but its the polite etiquette to go along with face value that makes everyone more comfortable. Lot of that in this fic.

‘and he had actually relaxed’ the word ‘actually’ implying his surprise as he’d been intending to only pretend to relax - same with ‘that hadn’t been a lie’, as in, well *that* at least was true. Lem is double checking literally everything Ernest says. The fact that he is actually a practiced masseuse sells the idea to Lemony that this is not just a ruse to get his top off or whatever. And at the same time reassures the reader that Lem is not actually being a complete idiot - he is constantly suspicious of everything as always, and remains so throughout

It smelt of summer.... I wanted a feeling more than a specific scent. Its how it makes him feel. He can’t pinpoint it exactly because its too evocative. To me, smelling of summer evokes warm spice and mango. Also, the sudden switch from a factual barrage to slow and conceptual is a strong feeling.

The fast pacing and then the sudden slow at the end of the paragraph like a sigh. Like the feeling of being swept along and then being a bit bewildered, bit ‘i can’t beleive this is actually happening’, bit ‘how did i get here’, bit proper relaxing.

Then slow and meandering pacing, to match Ernest’s hands. Palm oil. Flesh Firmness Friction.

Ernest said pointedly earlier that the mirror was for Lemony to watch him, to feel safe. So he is well aware - and is in fact encouraging - that Lemony study his reflection at this point. However, I hope I managed to get a good genuine vibe in here. Ernest enjoys this, and is finding it relaxing. Probably the actual genuine feeling from him is a huge advantage to calming Lemony down, Lem can probably pick up on fakeness very well subconsciously, so the verisimilitude is Ernest’s best weapon. Also, he wants for selfish reasons. He doesn’t get physical contact because of his position, and when he does its not someone that understands why. And Lemony understands him. And he understands Lemony. Better than most on their respective sides do. Lem even acknowledges in his own narration - 'genuine pleasure... no matter what other motives were in play’ - that the truth and the trick are not mutually exclusive. he gets it.

Very intentional focus on enigmatic smile and brow in quick succession, which happens repeated through the story - yes we are invoking Ellington this fic, more quietly at first and then stronger later. A stirring of something ancient, you might say.

And yes, the mind naturally wanders to other simple, intimate, uncomplicated, repetitive tasks and he has to shut that line of thought down immediately, something Lemony gets increasingly worse at doing as the fic goes on. Shoving words like ‘pleasure’ and ‘stirring’ and that technically accurate description together heavily implies Lem’s growing arousal. Just to really spell that out. Just in case. If it’s missed it would be there subliminally enough im sure.

Thanks for asking and a great choice of section, I havent read this commentary back so here it is have it immediately before i remember what i forgot and edit forever

#tangentiallly #my fic #asoue #lemony snicket #ernest denouement #lemzest

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anime-and-manga-rants · 3 years

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Why I Believe Deku Fails as a Character (Part 1 of 3)

Why does Bakugou consistently take first place in every My Hero Academia popularity poll (since the second poll) when Deku is the main character? Well, the answer’s pretty simple. Bakugou is a complex, interesting character, and Deku is not.

And, for Part 1, here’s why: Deku had so much potential as a main character, but Horikoshi decided it was best not to dive deep into the things he’d set up in the first episode.

In the first episode, it is made obvious that Bakugou is Deku’s abuser, and the rest of Deku’s class isn’t much better. Bakugou burns Deku with his Quirk when he grabs Deku’s shoulder, to which nobody reacts negatively, not even their homeroom teacher. This most likely is a common occurrence, so common that their teacher was familiar with Bakugou’s behavior and did not see it necessary to step in and stop it. (If he wasn’t against Deku from the very start — if he didn’t hate Deku solely because of his Quirklessness — Bakugou wouldn’t be able to act like this.) Either that or the teacher simply turned a blind eye to it for the first time, but is that truly much better? Coupled with the burning of Deku’s prized notebook, the verbal abuse, and the suicide baiting, the first episode sets up for a depiction of a very abused character.

And yet we don’t get it.

Instead, Deku’s reactions to Bakugou’s abuse are played for laughs, from his scrambling comically to get away from Bakugou when Bakugou approaches to his high-pitched voice when he responds to Bakugou’s or his classmates’ taunts. Other times, Bakugou’s awful behavior is simply downplayed to the point where it becomes meaningless. When Bakugou burns Deku’s shoulder, smoke spirals up from between his fingers, yet Deku’s uniform and skin remain unburned. When Bakugou tells him to take a swan dive, Deku’s response is something akin to “What would Bakugou do if I really did it? He knows he would get in trouble for it.”

Even with Horikoshi’s flippant spin to obvious abuse, Deku’s clearly afraid of the guy. That fact is unavoidable if you just rewatch the first episode or reread the first chapter of the manga. He scrambles away from Bakugou when he approaches, tries to convince Bakugou that he knows they’re not on equal ground, and freezes up when Bakugou grabs his shoulder.

I’d say it’s a pretty safe to assume Bakugou’s done some pretty terrible shit to Deku. Even if he doesn’t consistently use his Quirk on Deku — which I would be surprised if he didn’t — he seems to enjoy threatening Deku with it, if the explosions in his hand after telling Deku to take a swan dive are any indication. And what about the explosion on Deku’s desk a little earlier?

(The desk is actually broken in two, but this isn’t elaborated on at all. It really seems as though Bakugou can get away with anything, either because of his potential due to his Quirk or because Horikoshi was, again, just playing off the behavior.)

Basically, Deku has been threatened with physical harm if nothing else, and he still should’ve been burned after Bakugou’s shoulder grab.

We can safely assume the first episode isn’t the first time his classmates have laughed in his face or at least at him. From this, we can say he doesn’t have any real friends to speak of. I mean, the only “friends” of his we ever see are Bakugou and his lackeys, and they absolutely weren’t friends with him at the time of the first episode. If Deku had a real friend, I think we would’ve seen them in the first episode.

To tie up my point in a nice little bow, Deku should be showing some signs of trauma. Or, at the very least, he should have some pretty major self-esteem issues. And, yes, Deku does seem to show some signs of low self-esteem, but it doesn’t get in the way of his goals. Characters need flaws. Characters without flaws aren’t realistic or enjoyable to follow as they work toward their goals. But these flaws need to actually impact the character somehow, because it’s not truly a flaw if it doesn’t. Deku’s canon lack of self-esteem never really impacts him negatively, and because of this, it’s not enough to help make him a good character.

Deku’s behavior is just… so unrealistic. Should abuse truly be played for laughs just to avoid creating a character that experiences trauma?

(It is almost as if Horikoshi was afraid of making a main character experience symptoms of trauma or even PTSD. Maybe it was out of fear of making Deku not relatable? Authors tend to fall into a trap where they accidentally make characters boring in an effort to make them “relatable” to readers, and it’s possible this is what happened to Deku. Or maybe Horikoshi wanted to create a shounen anime and didn’t think that was suitable for the MC. Or maybe Horikoshi didn’t think he could pull it off, although I think he could’ve done it well.

(I mean, just look at Bakugou’s big reveal in season 3, episode 23. It was unexpected but so real, such a well-written scene to reveal the complexity of a character, that it irritates me to see Deku as he is. We know what Horikoshi is capable of through that scene and the subtle buildup to it that the audience can pick up on through Bakugou’s actions and dialogue. So why couldn’t Horikoshi do something just as impressive for Deku, the main character?

(Whatever the reason for Deku’s lack of character, I think I’m getting off topic. Let’s get back to my main point.)

If Horikoshi didn’t want to create an abused character, he shouldn’t have had Bakugou so blatantly abuse him. You can argue that the subject may not be suited for a shounen anime, but that doesn’t justify Horikoshi’s choices. Again, if he didn’t want Deku to show signs of past abuse, he shouldn’t have made Bakugou abuse him.

The fact that Horikoshi decided not to portray Deku as a believable victim of abuse is pretty disappointing. Because, due to this decision, Deku not only an inaccurate character but also an incredibly boring character.

Deku could’ve been such an interesting character if Horikoshi had built on his potential. To see the growth of a main character with such little self esteem, to see the growth of a person experiencing a mental illness (likely c-PTSD, a kind of PTSD usually associated with multiple traumatic events rather than one) portrayed accurately, could’ve made for such a successful and fascinating story. A story that showed mental illness as a burden but proved it doesn’t have to define you— that you can still pursue and achieve your dreams even when your mind is against you.

But we don’t get it. At all.

Instead, we get a Deku who still calls Bakugou “Kacchan” rather than understandably hating him. Or being terrified of him. While you can argue that Deku simply doesn’t fault Bakugou for his actions, that Deku is strong enough to just brush past Bakugou’s abuse, that’s got less to do with Deku and more to do with Horikoshi. If Deku were a real person, he absolutely would not act the same way around Bakugou as he does, and that’s Horikoshi’s problem. It’s not that Deku’s too mentally strong to care— it’s that Deku’s too weak of a character to. Nobody is that strong. It’s not about strength.

Look at Shinsou. His backstory is explained in maybe thirty seconds, and yet that’s still enough. We can see through his dialogue how resentful he is towards people with so-called heroic Quirks, especially those who take their heroic Quirks for granted. Just Shinsou’s declaration of war to Class 1-A and the Deku vs. Shinsou fight was enough to cement him as one of my favorite characters in MHA. And this is because his past affects him. It shapes who he is as a person in a visible way and makes him a compelling, relatable character.

And, whereas Shinsou’s backstory seemed to be mostly his classmates calling him a villain or asking him not to use his Quirk on them for fear of what he was capable of, Deku was abused. He had a far worse childhood, and yet it has no impact on his character or on his view of the world. It doesn’t make much sense.

There’s a reason so many people like the concept of Deku becoming a villain. It’s more realistic and it’s far more interesting than what we’re actually given. Deku resenting society’s take on Quirkless individuals and his own abuse at the hands of Bakugou and his classmates is a compelling narrative because it’s understandable, relatable. Who wouldn’t at least partially hate such awful treatment? Who wouldn’t consider taking revenge? Or, if not revenge, who wouldn’t consider changing the world (and villains tend to get the job done quicker)?

Instead, we get a character who not so much forgives as completely forgets, striving to become a hero because it’s his childhood dream. Even a Deku wanting to become a renowned hero to advocate for a change in the world’s opinion on Quirkless people would’ve been compelling to an extent. Sure, it would have far more impact if Deku remained Quirkless, so maybe Horikoshi should’ve gone with that route, but you get my point.

So, in the end, Deku manages to be both unrealistic and unrelatable (unrelatable isn’t technically a real word, I know, but you’re getting it anyway). He’s somewhat of a paragon of wasted potential in terms of a character, and that’s why I believe he fails.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #anime #manga #izuku midoriya #deku #katsuki bakugo #bnha #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha #shinsou #shinsou hitoshi

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aqvarius · 4 years

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Top 5 fav hlitf cgs?

thanks for this ask!! ahh it was so hard to narrow it down to 5 but i will try my best (with some bonuses bc... how could i not). i’m not going to include vip room CGs here even tho there are a couple of them that i adore too. also i can’t believe i’m not including the soma coming out of the shower CG that i love enough to have made my icon for a very long time now... but that just goes to show how much i love these ones.

5. are you bullying my aide?

okay so i’m cheating right off the bat and decided to group these two in one category bc they’re like conceptually the same CG lmao. i made a post before about loving instructors getting furious at people trying to hurt you in the sunset. and the fact that two of my absolute fave LIs of all time get these gorgeous fury CGs makes me infinitely happy alskdfls. the sad thing is that there’s an error in soma’s route so the CG doesn’t actually appear in-game... anyway you know i love seeing cool love interests get mad so these two CGs are a perfect depiction of that.

4. i’ll take compensation

who doesn’t love this scene and CG!! and the in-game version as well where his eyes are open bc he was surprised. i love it so much. that entire ending was so good, with the mc being the Best Senpai Ever? and she tries to blow his socks off with a kiss but then he just grabs her butt and goes in deeper? we stan a tie-grabbing mc. i only wish there was a CG for that elevator kiss too in the sequel(?).

3. it reminded me of ugly cat

honestly i love all of goto’s s3 CGs bc they are all just so pretty and i love the one as well where tsugaru is joking about him and usa being a couple and goto gets pissed. but this one is just so... pure and soft???? it’s so rare to see goto all relaxed and smiley and i just love it soooo much. also does anyone else find that his smile in this CG is so similar to chiba’s smiling sprite? ughhh this is so freaking cute i physically can’t look at it for too long otherwise i get overwhelmed with feelings. oh and also that cat is so weird looking lmao

2. please... let me be with you

one of my favourite moments of all time. look how stunned kaga looks (but also... how pretty is he here... and how pretty is she.... season 3 CGs are so top quality). the fact that she’s hopped up on painkillers but they’re just fading off so she’s already starting to feel pain again and kaga is already kind of angsting over everything that happened on the case and then tsugaru is taking her home while kaga can’t even speak to her bc of office rules. and she just runs back to the office by herself even tho she’s already starting to feel the pain in her gunshot wound and just bursts into the office and yanks his cigarette out of his mouth and kisses him? and says even if you don’t want me, i want to be with you. honestly this whole moment is like freaking kdrama level dramatic and romantic and i love it so much. it’s like... the perfect moment combined with the prettiest CG. kaga’s pov of this scene makes it EVEN BETTER because he’s literally smitten with her, like he wants her so badly and then she just magically appears in front of him and kisses the life out of him, just as he was thinking about how much he needs her. right at the moment when he’s feeling the most empty, the most hollow, like his entire career in public safety amounted to nothing, she comes back to him. and then there’s that line of his, where he talks about love so fierce that he can’t breathe around it filling his chest and honestly it gets me every single time (also bc i can relate to that feeling lmao) but basically kaga/mc is my favourite couple and this moment and CG are just like... exactly what i love the most about them as a pair. ALSO i love her hair and that gold pin hahaha i want it.

1.5 did i or did i not say you were forbidden from acting rashly?

how could i not include this one as a bonus? i’ve been in love with this CG from the very first time i laid eyes on it back in 2018. no context (at the time i think soma’s graduation hadn’t even come out in l365 so we hadn’t even seen his short hair sprite in the intl app), no idea what was even happening in this scene, and yet i was immediately struck by the dangerous look in his eye and that little smile, and also just like... getting to see him in a tshirt and hoodie is so rare? i’m p certain that outfit is just recycled ayumu sprite’s casual clothes. anyway, knowing the context behind this CG makes it 10000x better for me. i wrote this in my unpublished review of soma’s battlefield route but i genuinely believe we’re seeing this CG from his mc’s eyes and that’s what tokito really looked like in that moment - with soma’s face, his hair, his expressions, his hands, his voice. our poor, sweet mc had been suffering for so long to the point where even toru and ayumu noticed that she hadn’t smiled in forever and were trying to cheer her up (and momose too later!!). for me, this CG represents the absolutely heartbreaking sense of delusion that soma’s mc feels in this route, and the way that she keeps trying so hard to project soma onto tokito because of her grief. i genuinely felt like in that moment, she physically saw soma coming to her rescue, like her desires manifest into a delusion. also, this CG comes at an absolutely amazing time bc we had been deprived of seeing soma for like 60% of the route and then we get this CG and suddenly everything is better for a short moment, and then everything goes back to normal and you really get a sense of how upsetting life has been for his mc.

1. come now, love. tell me what you desire

i love this CG. i love it so so so so so much. firstly, i love the look of it. both soma and his mc just look so attractive?? soma’s muscles?? in his shoulders and back especially?! his mc has commented on his shoulderblades and back muscles before which have been honed through kendo practice so i’m very happy to get to see them. the actual text says that the mc is naked but here she’s still wearing a sundress, but she just looks so pretty and like she’s feeling unbelievably good? anyway i scream bc even soma’s hands look good and they still kept that one piece of hair that he has that sticks up lmao what’s gravity anyway? anyway, beyond the sensuality of the image (and also his tongue... and his sweat...), there’s just so much meaning behind it? like yes, it’s very hot and sensual and the dialogue that goes with this scene is unbelievably sexy, but this scene is just super meaningful bc it’s part of their recovery as a couple. they’re on this secret holiday in okinawa and they’re reconnecting after their trauma and idk it’s just so intimate. we really get to see the mc from soma’s eyes and we get to see how he is the only one who can see her weakness behind that strong face of hers, but also how he sees her strength in recovery? the way he describes that scene where she’s in this gorgeous white swimsuit with a sheer coverup and then picks a brown swim float so she can sit atop it on the waves and say “don’t i look like a doughnut?” despite having a literal near-death experience in the sea not too long before honestly had me falling head over heels in love with her, and it really made me understand exactly what he loves about her, and how much he just adores her. anyway this is me gushing over that special story, but what i mean is that the ending of his battlefield in combination with this special story sets up the beginning of soma and his mc’s healing as a couple, and it culminates in this scene. soma is kind of similar to kaga in the sense that they both actually demonstrate their feelings the most honestly through physical means, and here you can just see how palpable the desperation is. they desire each other so intensely and intimately and having this moment for the two of them to share is so significant for their recovery. you can just see how much soma needs to show her that he’s here, he’s really, physically here with her, and he’ll never leave her alone ever again, and he’s so sorry for all the pain she’s had to go through. you can see the way he’s telling her that with his body and with the way he talks to her and is just so himself in bed. there are really parallels between their first night together and this scene (mostly like... him asking her to tell him what she wants lol) and it just makes me so EMOTIONAL.

YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS THE END?

no, that was just my top five solo (or li/mc) CGs. i also need to give my top five fave group/multiple character CGs lmao.

in no particular order:

what can i say? it’s just so beautiful, and every single expression and pose is just so suited for each character i’m in love.

frankly no real reason for this one aside from the fact that we get to see goto and subaru in yukata and subaru always looks soooo freaking good in hlitf CGs and also goto’s hand is on subaru’s chest and you know we ship gobaru in this house

the third anniversary substory CGs are just amazing (you’ll see the full one in a bit and it’s WILD) but honestly i just need everyone to see this one bc it’s just gorgeous. look at ishigami and kaga and look at how inhuman they look, all sweaty and tired from being in panda mascot costumes. kaga with his sleeves rolled up literally has me salivating. look at PRETTY their faces and muscles are... anyway, this CG has me as thirsty as ishigami guzzling that bottle of water..........

i said it was in no particular order but i just need to say that this one is my actual favourite bc it has EVERYONE. and look at how gorgeous they all look.... every single one of them with their hair pushed back ;alskdjfalsk WHO??? WHO LET THIS HAPPEN? NAMBA’S GLOVE? KAGA AND GOTO’S MATCHING SCOWLS? THE ANGLE OF SOMA’S HEAD? TSUGARU’S TONGUE? and also the way his legs are positioned?!?!?! also i love swishy hair ayumu and hide with his leg crossed the other way from kaga and also i’ve never seen toru look this attractive it’s very unfair.

the sheer amount of chaotic energy in this one is just wonderful and i love all the details. you all know namba is DAY DRUNK. goto and toru in that signature headlock position, ayumu being a lil shit and putting wasabi in all the cupcakes and ISHIGAMI AND KAGA FALLING FOR IT AND SUFFERING??? LOOK AT THEIR SUFFERING FACES JUST LOOK. and you just KNOW that soma is going to suffer the same fate oh sweet mercy this is like “famous last pictures” level of good. also they’re all wearing new clothes which i love sooooo much. i wanna see ayumu in that orange sweater more often and also army green shirt kaga with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms with that look on his face. have i ever been more in love? no.

finally, here’s my ultimate favourite favourite group image of all time! not a CG but it’s the header that i use on the mobile version of my blog:

they’re all looking so happily/fondly over at YOU (hlitf mc who fell asleep) and wondering what you’re dreaming about/saying that you’re dreaming about them. and they all just love and adore you so much. the amount of affection in this one image is unreal and also momose is in it ialskfjsd i just.............. am the SOFTEST for this one.

anyway sorry that (1) it took so long for me to answer this, bc i had to spend ages thinking about it alongside being busy with life stuff and (2) that i went on for so long and did not pick 5 CGs but rather... 12....... but these are my faves!! thank you so much for the ask!

#her love in the force #hlitf #seiji goto #hyogo kaga #hideki ishigami #shusuke soma #ayumu shinonome #jin namba #toru kurosawa #takaomi tsugaru #takeru momose #snow answers #Anonymous #voltage inc #otome game #voltage otome #otome romance #love 365 #at times like this i really miss my tag bundles

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adinosaurnamedmittens · 3 years

Text

Alright so I can’t stop thinking of RVB Zero and how much potential it has so I wanna rework it a bit to work better.

So first I’m gonna talk about the new characters and what I’d change before breaking down the individual episodes for critique and suggested rewrites. At this point, I’ve only seen up to episode 4, Encounter. So spoilers till that ep.

West - Honestly great! He doesn’t have a ton of character, but what he has is solid. He works very well as the gruff, no-nonsense leader who’s a tiny bit of a dad.

Raymond - Also great! He’s the most classic RVB character, as he’s an underdog who’s not the best at fighting, but has a lot of heart. My fav new character, right next to Tiny.

One - I want to change her to 2nd in command and drop the whole “can’t work within a team” thing. Keep the confidence and slight rudeness, but drop all the lines referencing anti-teamwork. It hasn’t factored into the story so far, One has been successfully working as part of the team for all the episodes. This would make her dynamic with Axel more interesting, being in a higher position of power. Especially considering how her healthy relationship with her dad contrasts with East and West’s relationship. This would reinforce the tension with East, since One now has an actual position of power over her. Also, she should have the exact same powers as Zero, but maybe less powerful. This would help foreshadow that reveal, and help us understand how the enhancements work. While One is a bit of a shit, and thinks she knows best, she’s willing to take the fall when her ideas fail or get them in trouble.

Axel - Imma be honest: totally forgot he was One’s adopted dad until I rewatched the episodes prepping for this. You could drop it totally, as it gets a bit redundant with West and East’s relationship, but I think there’s more fun in working with it. Also, if One’s 2nd in command and Axel isn’t insecure about it at all? Instantly makes him a more likable guy. I also think he parallels to Wash very well (bit of a kid at heart, weapons guy, team dad, emotional heart) so we’re gonna expand on that too.

East - Her and One’s relationship is the driving force of conflict within the strike team. With the changes made to One, East can stay pretty much unchanged. Before they were too similar. Now, with One being abrasive but willing to work together, and East being more reserved and distant, they’re great foils for each other. Also she parallels early Carolina, which I love (speed is her ability, prefers working alone, competitive as hell, dad runs team)

Villains: On characterization, they’re all good! Villains are allowed to be a bit more shallow, and they all seem to have understandable motives for what they’re doing: Zero wants revenge and power, Phase wants revenge especially against West, and Diesel just seems like he’s having fun. I do want to change Zero’s power tho, with Phase already having a teleport with a cool gimmick, and Diesel having a strength/tank ability, Zero should have a unique ability. Maybe gravity because of the sword? It would allow him some cool movement tricks while still being visually distinct from Diesel and Phase’s abilities. Or something inspired by his “ghost” line from Duo.

EP 1: Viper

The Good: The introduction to the villains and their abilities was amazing. I love Phase’s knife and it’s honestly one of the coolest things I’ve seen in the show. And the intro to the Strike team? Hilarious. Great character work. You can tell that One and Axel are close, that Raymond is hesitant and new, East and One have a very competitive relationship, and West is the tough love dad.

The Bad: Don’t violate the 180 camera rule. The intro fight scene was cool, but the camera moved way too much and made it hard to keep track of everything happening. And with the new, shiny art style we need a bit more time to absorb what’s happening since the detail level went up. Also y’all healed Wash’s brain damage with a throwaway line, and then immediately fridged him? Not cool. I mean, if you wanted to show how tough the villains are, you already had them beat up Carolina.

Story Changes: - Zero gets name dropped this ep so we get a scene next ep where Axel recognizes his name. - Either replace Wash with a high ranking soldier and completely scrub him from the episode, or give a different reason why he can’t help, maybe exactly Carolina’s reason of “you’re recovering”. I’m not committing to totally removing Wash bc in Recovery Carolina’s line of “That I-that we thought was a medium risk asset” hints that Wash knew exactly what they were carrying and I’m excited to see where they take that. - Mainly I want scenes of Wash talking to Axel and expanding on his characterization as they are both Nice Boys Who Have Been Through It. - I also think a scene after we meet Strike where Axel asks Raymond “You like riding with East?” and Ray goes “You two stuck me with her on purpose!” and One goes “Yup!” all cheerfully. Just reinforce those team dynamics and friendships before it goes to shit!

EP 2: Recovery

The Good: The garage scene was perfect. Tiny is amazing, love her so much! And Axel got such great characterization during this ep. What a dork. West and Raymond also work super well together, their interactions are great.

The Bad:You know it’s a problem when the villains have a better dynamic than the heroes. The scene where Carolina explains all the strike member’s abilities and personalities? Bad. Also a little OOC for her. And redundant, since we also get Raymond asking West about East, and Axel’s explanation of the girls to Carolina.

Story Changes: - Have Axel, the emotional heart, waiting outside the recovery room for Carolina. Honestly, this isn’t that big, but I think it’d suit his character. - Carolina’s exposition is changed to solely history and abilities, no commenting on their personalities. Maybe East gets a little “has shown difficulty in working with others” but that’s it. The physical acting for these scenes really shines through, so let it stand alone. Even watching without sound, you can pick up that West is a no-nonsense leader, that Axel isn’t a flashy fighter but gets the job done, that East is fairly young and doesn’t take fighting seriously, and that One is willing to leave others behind if she thinks she can do it better. - For Carolina’s convo with One this ep about her “not willing to work on a team” either swap One with East or change it to “you need to listen to your team more. Don’t assume that you immediately now what’s best” - At the end of training, when Axel says “the guards were priority #1″ One should say “I knew you could handle it.” and Axel could respond with “Well, it’d be nice if you let me know that.” to show that One can work well as 2nd in command, but needs to communicate and stop assuming things. -Also should change Axel’s warning line about her enhancements to “Don’t push yourself. Remember what happened last time?” to enforce that this is a habit, and that while he cares about her, he’s not trying to boss her around as much. -Don’t reveal that East is West’s daughter until Raymond and West talk. That way, there’s a bit more emotional weight, and Ray’s line of “I was digging through the team files” makes more sense if Carolina doesn’t drop that info in the previous scene. - When Axel talks about the experiments East went through, he should mention that he was there for some of them. Dropping more foreshadowing for the Axel/Zero reveal! - Carolina drops Zero’s name in their convo, and we get a shot of Axel’s hand tightening on his weapon, showing the audience that the name means something to him, but we don’t know why.

EP 3: Duo

The Good: First 3rd of the ep? Really good. I love One being rude to Carolina, and then gaining a grudging respect. West and Raymond are, again, the best dynamic. How? I honestly have no idea. The car looks so stupid in the funniest way, I hate it but I love it. Also god yes Axel and Zero’s relationship is so wholesome and could be the best thing in this season. One’s warning call to the facility? The funniest shit. And Zero’s dialogue is hella cliched, but it works bc he’s obv such a dramatic bitch.

The Bad: HOLY HELL THE DIALOGUE. First, One and East’s fight? garbage. Very forced. Super hard to believe these two are real people. Carolina and West literally repeat the exact same line, less than 5 seconds apart. The dishwasher joke West makes does NOT at all work, it’s too tonally dissonant.

Story Changes: - Obv. need to change One and East’s convo. End it with “Without your power, you wouldn’t even be on this team!” East should storm off or almost attack One, requiring Axel to diffuse. - It’d also be really nice to get a line where One acknowledges that she went too far with that, but puts off apologizing to East. It’d be a nod that she’s good at reflecting and assessing, but too proud to actually take her words back. - I’d like to make Raymond more panicked when they find Wash. It’d help sell that he’s in bad shape and add more weight to “He’s got a heartbeat!” - Maybe re-work Phase and Zero’s conversation a bit. The dialogue is definitely not this season’s strong suit. - Pull Carolina’s “I’m just trying to help, East.” since it’s more impactful for East to storm off immediately and West says the line a couple seconds later. And change East’s dialogue to “You may be my CO, but don’t try to be my dad. Not after what you’ve done.” Or something similar. - For the dishwasher gag in the meeting, either pull it or double down. It’d work so much better if someone asks “Are you serious about this? Aren’t there more important things to discuss?” and West just deadpans. “This is of the upmost importance. If we can’t keep this base clean, how can we be expected to do anything else?!” and then Carolina clears her throat super loud and West goes “...Right. Rookie? Take it from here.” - Rework the “Carolina stay behind” dialogue. Even just a “Carolina. You’re still recovering. If you get hurt again, it’ll just be longer till you can take these bastards down. Keep an eye on Wash, will you?” I just couldn’t get behind the wording of “we need you here. With wash” It sounds like every cliched “woman must stay behind while the manly men save everyone!” Might be personal preference but just ew. - Add a scene where One notices Axel being a bit off (bc he’s worried about Zero being a part of the bad guy team) and she asks if he’s okay. He brushes her off, says its nothing. She goes “alright, i trust you.” - Maybe make the flashback a bit more apparent? There was a moment in the middle where I questioned whether or not it was a flashback. Again, could be a me problem.

EP 4: Encounter

The Good: The fight scenes continue to be absolute standouts. The varied environments, the movement, the dynamics on point. Wish we could’ve saw a bit more from Axel, but as is the scene worked well. The framing of the ep was good too, cutting between the mission and the fallout. And Ray, resident coward, immediately squaring up without a thought after West got injured? *chef’s kiss*. THAT is good character development. THAT is an amazing way to establish their relationship without telling us outright. Go feral, my boy! And Tiny and Raymond’s convo was so cute. I love how, despite what he says, Ray is there for his team and always willing to help. Carolina and One’s convo was also pretty decent. It got a bit long and over-explainy on Carolina’s end, but there were some pretty good moments.

The Bad: The fight after the mission failure was SO over-acted. Too much motion, to many camera angles. It changed what should have been tense arguments to hilarious melodrama. This has been a consistent problem, but it REALLY affects this scene in particular. And the second Axel enters the scene it just immediately goes downhill.

Story Changes: - Add a line from West in the beginning scene like “I’ll cut them off!” to explain why he isn’t in the car too. This also means it’s not as out-of-nowhere when West shows up to trash the car. - One should call out Axel instead of East. If she’s his daughter, she should be able to tell when he’s acting off. And she would have an easier time connecting the dots between Axel and Zero. - Instead of “I trusted you.” One should say “You lied to me.” 1) He’s her dad. One lie isn’t gonna break her total trust. 2) This would imply it’s the first time he’s lied to her, adding more weight to the whole situation 3) It’s way more accusatory and less cliched (if only a bit) - Add in a “One, wait!” bc I am a sucker for it and we could hear the guilt in his voice, rather than the weird scene where the girls make him spin around by bumping into him. - It’d also be nice if Ray stayed back for a bit before leaving, so we got a bit of his feelings on the matter. I mean, obviously he cares a lot about West, but does he blame Axel for not being there to help? It’d be nice to know!

TL;DR The best parts of the episodes are the fight scenes, and when they focus on the fun team dynamics. The worst parts are dialogue (mostly the serious bits) and over-animating, as this takes away from the drama.

I don’t mind the cheesy villains, but that may not be the case for everyone.

The best part of RVB has always been the rag-tag found family dynamics. While the fight scenes are cool, they have always been supplemental to the real meat of the show. The writers are trying something new with the whole “actual family” but you have got to focus on and develop these relationships if you want fans to care.

Mostly, I see a lot of potential in these characters, but there are GLARING issues in this season that are holding them back.

#rvb #rvb zero #rvb zero spoilers #rant #long post #criticism #might add on to this when new eps release bc i am invested #though not entirely for the right reasons #i just see the POTENTIAL #and i physically cannot hold myself back

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ahgaseda · 4 years

Text

enough | two

even if everyone else leaves me, you’re enough for me, you’re my only one, stand by me forever, only you, just you...

summary : to survive as a single woman in the big city, you resort to letting rich men pay for your company, but never anticipated that your first client would be the boy you once loved, Jinyoung.

warnings : strong profanity, explicit dialogue, references to prostitution, mentions of gang activity, graphic sexual content, potentially triggering elements involving mental health, panic attacks, etc.

miniseries chapters : one / two / three / four / five / six / seven

There weren’t enough cups of coffee in the world to rouse you after the sleepless night you’d had. Once Jinyoung ended the call, you searched the building for him, ultimately alarming security with the way you frantically checked every exit.

Eventually, you gave up, but his words haunted you and replayed in your mind the entire way home. Back at your apartment, you stripped to nakedness and collapsed on the bed, leaving your new violet gown lumped on the floor. Resting on your stomach with a pillow crammed between your arms, you felt your pulse quicken as you played his words over and over in your head.

It seemed Jinyoung had finally found you.

Your entire focus was fixated to him and refused to let go. Your heart raced out of control, practically dancing in your chest at the realization you were to be reunited with the boy you had once loved. Yet bitter tears pricked at your eyes, because you knew there was no reason Jinyoung should bear anything other than hatred for you after you left him.

He had tapped into the poison coursing through your home. He entered the perilous world of the gangs, vowing to surge up their ranks and provide some sort of stability for you in a town going under. But you loathed him for it. You despised the gangs with every fiber of your being for what they had done to your beloved hometown. When Jinyoung joined them, you ran. No, you abandoned him.

And understandably, he never forgave you for that.

Tightening the sheets around your naked body, you struggled with sleep. Jinyoung was your prospective client; the man who was willing to pay your bills in exchange for loveless sex. On your back, you pictured him above you, fitting himself between your thighs and owning you in every possible way.

God knows you had dreamt of this day since you left. What would happen when you were forced to reconcile with the boy you had promised never to leave?

Tears burned your eyes. You imagined Jinyoung taking his pleasure from your body, fucking his anger and stress out on you. Once upon a time, you would have enjoyed that, but now your mind warned you of an image of him pulling away from you and leaving a couple hundred dollars on the dresser.

Would that be your fate with Jinyoung? Was there a chance the love you both had shared was long gone and replaced with hatred? But everyone knew hatred wasn’t actually the opposite of love. It was indifference and just by his sharp tongue at the gala, Jinyoung was far from indifferent where you were concerned.

With a heavy sigh, you decided it was worth the risk. You had to know where this would lead or you would regret walking away. Again.

Staying in bed until the day was half over, you eventually crawled out from under a pile of blankets and called Seokjin to tell him you were ready to proceed. If he prepared a contract with your new client that entailed you sleeping with the man for money, you were ready to sign it. But you said nothing of Jinyoung.

Seokjin returned your initial call a few minutes later to inform you the client had agreed to a meeting and you needed to be at the office in one hour. Panicked, you quickly rushed off of the phone to shower and make yourself look as much like a prize as possible.

Despite arriving to the meeting by the skin of your teeth, you were still the first to enter the room. Of course, Jinyoung would be fashionably late. He probably wanted to ensure you had to wallow and wait for as long as possible.

Sitting at the conference table alone, you mulled over the decision. With your back to the expansive windows, you let the chair swivel to and fro as you tapped your bare toes on the floor. You had slid out of your high heels momentarily, stretching the bridges of your feet of their tension.

“Good afternoon,” Seokjin greeted, marching to the head of the table. You were in the center on the long side, knowing the heads of business always took the ends.

“Afternoon,” you replied tiredly, fighting another yawn.

“You look exhausted,” Seokjin commented, opening his folder and sorting through the papers.

You nodded, running a hand through your hair absentmindedly. “Didn’t sleep very well.”

“Did everything go alright last night?” he quickly asked, visibly concerned.

That always surprised you about Seokjin; how kind and compassionate he was toward his employees. Given his line of work involved trading flesh for money, you initially expected him to be a cold, heartless bastard. After years of having him as your employer, you considered him a reliable friend that you could call at your lowest, darkest times and knew without a doubt he would come to the rescue with sage words of wisdom.

“It went well,” you assured him with a soft smile.

Despite your respect toward him, you didn’t dare tell Seokjin the illustrious, new client was your ex-boyfriend. Knowing him and how he had a set of rules for almost everything, you assumed he would cancel the deal without a second thought. And right now, that was the last thing you wanted.

You needed to see Jinyoung with your own eyes.

Seokjin opened his mouth to reply, but his gaze fell to the approach of your client. You heard forceful footsteps that drew your attention a split-second before Jinyoung strode into the conference room, another man trailing behind him with a briefcase tucked under his arm.

Seokjin leapt to his feet, bowing dutifully, but you were frozen in place and your mouth fell open.

It really was Jinyoung.

He was taller, that was for sure, and much thicker than before. You remembered the skinny boy that had caused endless trouble with you as a child and passionately romanced you as a teenager, always complaining about his oversized ears and full face. Personally, you adored both traits. Once upon a time, you loved everything about him.

Even now, you took long, lingering looks at him, noting the years apart had aged him quite well. He was as handsome ever with his slicked-back dark hair, but there was something icy and rough festering in his eyes. He radiated power and strength, not just from a physical perspective. You knew he was the smartest, most cunning man in the room no matter where he stood.

It was evident that like you, the childhood innocence you both once shared was long gone and had been ripped away violently.

Clad in a crisp, charcoal suit, Jinyoung returned Seokjin’s bow shortly and didn’t bother to offer a glance in your general direction. After your boss cleared his throat, you lifted to your bare feet and bowed as was expected of you, nearly stumbling over your discarded shoes hidden beneath the table.

Jinyoung ignored you frigidly, sitting at the other end of the table and unbuttoning his suit coat as he did so. You were amazed how superior he looked at the moment. It wouldn’t shock you if he could buy the building you currently sat in a hundred times over.

“This is Youngjae, my attorney,” Jinyoung explained, gesturing to the smiling man alongside him. “He’s here to make sure I don’t get roped into anything.”

Seokjin nodded, resisting a frown at the insinuation. “Of course.”

Youngjae was kind enough to meet your eyes and give you a reassuring grin. His very presence flowed with energy and was a stark contrast to the icicle at his side. You found yourself returning a smile to the lawyer before his role in this meeting sank in.

You quickly gawked. Jinyoung had his own attorney? Beyond that, Jinyoung had a lawyer simply to navigate the contract between you and him?

The contract, you were abruptly reminded. That’s right. You were here to agree on a contract between you and your first - and presumably only - client. Bristling, you wished for the awkwardness to be at a minimum, though you trusted the parties involved to be the definition of professional.

For the most part, they discussed the privacy aspect of this deal. Everything would be done under foreign accounts and fake names. Jinyoung reserved the right to a certain degree of anonymity, given the fact he was a supposed pillar in his illegal community.

You furrowed your brow and knew in that moment Jinyoung had kept his vow of working up the ranks of the gangs. You were possibly looking at the kingpin of your hometown, but you also acknowledged he was now here in the city with you. Just how high did he want to go?

“Even with this contract and its inherent nature, consent is still required at every act,” Seokjin asserted, turning the page. “If there is any dissent with this clause, then we may as well call it a day.”

Jinyoung waved him away and nodded his compliance.

You wanted to laugh. Here you were - agreeing to a list of acceptable sexual practices with the only person you had ever been sexually active with. To you, the whole ordeal felt symbolic more than anything else.

Jinyoung wanted ownership. You had left him and now, he was quite literally buying you back. You knew you were in for a hell of a lot of vengeance, but had gradually come to terms with that. This was Jinyoung. No matter how much both of you had changed, you knew he would never hurt you.

“Alright, with the core rules in place, we can now begin with additions,” said Jinyoung’s attorney, glancing between you and his employer.

“No other parties ever,” Jinyoung said, twirling a pen between his fingers.

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asked for clarification.

You were also curious as to what he was referring.

Jinyoung glanced at your boss, as if it were obvious to a man of his chosen profession, and huffed, “No one else in the bedroom. No threesomes. Don’t bring another girl home for my birthday either.”

You snorted at the idea. Seokjin shot you a warning glare to be more respectful, still clueless as to the nature of your relationship with this surly customer.

“No ass,” you spoke up.

Youngjae looked over in surprise.

“No anal whatsoever. And none of that, ‘Sorry, baby, my aim was off,’ bullshit either,” you elaborated, tapping your hand on your thigh under the table.

Jinyoung chuckled at your sass, but kept his eyes on the contract. He was going out of his way to avoid looking at you. Probably because if he did, he would either melt or combust into a flurry of flames. It was hard to tell at this point.

“Did that happen to you before?” Seokjin asked under his breath, face creased with worry.

You shook your head and quickly explained, “No, never. But the girls have told me to err on the side of caution.”

With amusement, Jinyoung cut in, “I have great aim. Don’t worry.”

“Good,” you chirped, pretending to be impressed.

As the two lawyers in the room scribbled simultaneously on their contracts, you bit your lip to keep from giggling. This whole exchange seemed unrealistic and downright laughable to you. Crossing your legs under the table, you let your bare foot swing back and forth, distracting yourself from the humor of the situation.

Out of the corner of your eye, you took your time studying Jinyoung. The boy always did look damn good in a suit and today was no exception. But you were dreading the inevitable conversation both of you would need to have once this was finished. You needed to know where you stood.

A moment of tense silence later, Seokjin called your name, prompting you for anything else you felt worth including.

You mulled, then remembered, “Oh, my classes take precedence to... intercourse.”

Jinyoung snorted, his attention fixated on the pen in his hand.

“What do you mean?” asked Youngjae, bemused.

“I’m finishing my undergraduate degree. Pre-med,” you explained, sitting up a little straighter with pride. “My classes and exams will have priority.”

“You won’t be in violation of the contract if you choose school over me occasionally,” Jinyoung droned, skipping a perfect opportunity to be vindictive. “Moving on.”

You narrowed your eyes with annoyance on his profile, irritated at being dismissed so easily.

Youngjae met your visible scowl and said, “You will be moving into the Dongjak house.”

“Wait... what?” you exclaimed.

He added flatly, “It is one of Mr. Park’s properties.”

You were tempted to ask who the fuck was Mr. Park, but instead you turned to Seokjin and asked, “I have to move?”

Before Seokjin could pose a question of confirmation, Jinyoung’s lawyer answered, “Yes, we can better control security and access at this property.”

You quipped, “Are you worried I will try to escape or that I’ll have a steady flow of men coming in and out when you’re not around?”

Seokjin sucked in a breath as if he were having a sudden wave of heart palpitations.

Jinyoung lifted the corner of his mouth in a smirk, but still didn’t look at you. “You’re going to pay for that snark later,” he crooned under his breath.

Brow lifted, you asked coyly, “Am I?”

An image of Jinyoung slamming you against the wall and shoving his tongue down your throat passed through your mind. There was a time when you were young and reckless, and you exhausted every possible opportunity to get a rise out of him - knowing his choice of punishment was always rather gratifying.

Disrupting your imagination, Youngjae broke away from his page and asked, “Is the relocation a deal breaker for you?”

With a shrug, you replied blithely, “No, I could use the change in scenery.”

Relieved your acerbic tongue had yet to dissuade the very wealthy client, Seokjin said, “Many of the girls opt for a different location due to security protocols. It’s just a precaution. You aren’t in any danger.”

Brushing some of his hair from his eyes, Youngjae also comforted, “It has a stunning view of the river and is fairly close to Seoul National University, which would be much more convenient for you.”

Stiffening, you turned your attention back to Jinyoung and asked rather roughly, “And how do you know which college I go to?”

The lawyer glanced at Jinyoung for a suggestion of how to answer you, but Jinyoung merely shook his head and your question went answered.

A knowing smile tugged at your lips.

After receiving your acceptance of the deal thus far, Seokjin faced your prospective client and asked, “Are there any additional concerns?”

Jinyoung tapped his finger on the table to a rhythm and snarled, “Yes, I find the ratio of funds unacceptable.”

Seokjin rubbed his chin and inquired, “How do you mean, sir?”

Jinyoung took an outstretched paper from his attorney and scanned the page, finding the figures he was looking for and saying, “Of what I’m paying per month, she gets seventy percent. Your agency gets thirty.”

Seokjin bobbed his head and said, “Yes, that is our usual rate.”

Jinyoung frowned. “No, she gets ninety. You get ten.”

Your eyes widened.

Seokjin nearly choked and replied, “That is unheard of.”

Unfazed, Jinyoung cocked his head and smarted, “I’m hearing it now.”

Seokjin wavered in his seat, searching for a valid argument, and stammered, “Mr. Park, I can assure you that...”

Jinyoung shifted mercurially and threatened, “Keep talking and her share jumps to ninety-nine.”

“Ninety to ten is good, sir.”

Jinyoung plastered a victorious smile on his face and said, “Glad we understand each other.”

You still couldn’t comprehend who this man was at the end of the table, but you rather enjoyed the view. There were glimpses of the Jinyoung you knew - the boy who could literally talk his way out of anything. But the forceful, borderline aggressive man that appeared was an entirely new entity to you and you weren’t sure what the best approach was to dealing with him.

After the pair had finished jotting on their pages, Seokjin called your name and asked, “Do you have anything else to add?”

With a long exhale, you replied, “I want exclusivity.”

Exasperated, your boss whispered, “That is already in the contract.”

“No,” you spoke up, angling to Jinyoung and taking a deep breath. “I want him exclusive to me.”

Seokjin nearly choked again. He would have given you a swift kick under the table if you had been closer.

For the first time since this meeting began, Jinyoung met your eyes. A long glare of mutual defiance passed between you and him.

You didn’t falter under his unforgivable scowl and said, “If I am forbidden to so much as hold hands with another man, the same applies to him.”

Jinyoung chuckled and snapped, “Do I look like I’m gonna be holding hands with men anytime soon?”

You leaned in his direction, lacing your fingers over the table surface, and warned, “If you get close enough to another woman that she can catch a whiff of your cologne, I will walk.”

Jinyoung cocked his head, mouth twitching with annoyance, and seethed when he hissed, “Well, no one doubts you’re good at that.”

You narrowed your eyes at the retort, but felt your heart ache a little at his tone. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you asked, “Deal?”

Jinyoung studied you, letting a lull pass before he agreed, “Deal.”

“Mutual exclusivity,” said Seokjin, a certain edge to his voice that suggested he had finally noticed the tension between you and your client. His attention was piqued.

Youngjae nodded, smirking for a reason unbeknownst to you. “Added.”

As Seokjin and Youngjae chattered over filing the contract, Jinyoung rose and proceeded to button his suit coat. You scrambled to your feet, discreetly sliding back into your shoes, and approached him with caution.

“Gang leader extraordinaire, I see,” you murmured under your breath, careful to utter such bitter words lest anyone else hear them.

“Mm,” Jinyoung hummed as if it were of no consequence, glancing over his shoulder to see how dangerously close you came to him.

The scent of your ex-lover wafted into your nose at the proximity and you blinked through the threat of tears. His cologne was subtle and understated, but he smelled so good, so familiar. Voice quivering, you whispered, “What happened to you? What happened to the Jinyoung I knew?”

Jinyoung angled to face you and snarled, “He died when you left him.”

You stood there, shell-shocked as he stomped out of the conference room. For a moment, you merely wallowed in the silence and loneliness, grappling with the proper way to feel in this situation. You deserved the anger and resentment, but you also stood by the decisions you had made in the pursuit of a better life.

Then, you were reminded of what you just signed and realized that Jinyoung owned you now.

Eventually, Seokjin came to fetch you, saying, “His car is waiting outside. It will take you to his penthouse.”

Nerves bubbled in your throat. Jinyoung had paid the toll. Was it time to cross the bridge already?

Nodding an acknowledgement, you made your way toward the elevator, passing one of your co-workers on the way. She grabbed your sleeve, giving you a beaming, excited smile that comforted you in the midst of your conflicted reveries.

“What a catch,” Kyra sang quietly. “So many girls wanted a piece of that boy.”

The thought of another woman sharing a bed with Jinyoung made you bristle with jealousy. Discarding the idea, you flushed and groaned, “Thanks.”

Kyra clicked her tongue, adjusting a few loose strands of your hair, and whined playfully, “I wish I had your luck.”

You shrugged and began, “He wanted a virgin and I had just joined the second circle of hell, so....”

“Don’t be diluted, sweetie,” Kyra interjected with a scoff.

You tilted your head curiously, asking, “What do you mean?”

She giggled at you, surprised you didn’t know, and said, “He specifically asked for you.”

“What?” you exclaimed.

Kyra patted your arm, hushing you sweetly, and whispered, “I heard Lexi say that he inquired about you after one of his constituents took you to a gala.”

Your eyes were wide, but you quickly made the jump from shocked to annoyed. “Oh my god.”

“He waited for you to jump circles.,” Kyra teased, squeezing your shoulder in encouragement. “You must be exactly what he wants.”

Narrowing your eyes, you whispered scathingly, “That... bastard.”

Kyra gawked at you, confused.

Trudging outside, a black Range Rover lay in wait and Jinyoung perched by the back door, putting a cigarette to his lips and drawing a lighter out of his pocket.

“Are you kidding me?” you yelled, darting forward and snatching the cigarette from his mouth.

Jinyoung glared at you with a vengeance and hissed, “What? You’re the only one allowed to have self-destructive behaviors?”

“You inhale cancer on a regular basis now?” you asked scathingly.

“At least I don’t suck dick for a living,” Jinyoung returned, opening the door and motioning for you to get inside the car.

Glaring furiously, you passed in front of him, sliding into the seat and grumbling when he stole the cigarette from your hand, but didn’t smoke it.

Sitting in the car with Jinyoung was agonizing. Though he was within arm’s reach, he intentionally left a wide space between your bodies. You wanted to confront him for choosing you, but didn’t have the strength or energy for an argument.

You were starting to feel fortunate. Fortunate that your ex-boyfriend had bought you and not some old, entitled bastard. But you also knew the unresolved conflict between you and your first love would potentially leave you devastated all over again.

“Jinyoung?” you called shyly.

His eyes were on the window, as they had been for the entire drive. “We’ll talk when we get there,” he replied harshly, clocking his gaze at the lawyer and chauffeur in the front seats.

You wrinkled your nose, annoyed at being silenced by him for the second time that day, but saw where his attention had fallen and knew he wanted total privacy before such a personal conversation took place.

You were anticipating the moment you were alone for the first time with your ex-boyfriend. Despite Seokjin encouraging you to follow your new client’s cues to give him exactly what he wanted, you had no intention of kissing up to Jinyoung. If he wanted you to beg for mercy or forgiveness, he would be sorely disappointed.

Or so you thought.

The vehicle came to a stop outside of a luxury apartment building and you peered out of the car in awe. Jinyoung told you this was the back entrance and he had better never hear of you coming in through the front foyer. You wanted to sass him, but realized it was more than likely a security protocol.

You trailed at his side as Jinyoung led you to the service elevator in the back. He greeted an older man, an attendant by the name of Mr. Jung who wore a trimmed, burgundy blazer and sported a warm, round face with a bushy mustache.

“And who is this beautiful shadow you have, sir?” the attendant asked politely.

You returned his respectful bow and gave him your name.

“You will be seeing her rather often from now on, Mr. Jung,” Jinyoung explained, withdrawing a roll of cash from his pocket and handing the man a few large bills. His voice lowered to a stern murmur when he told him, “You never saw her. She was never here.”

“Saw who, sir?” Mr. Jung questioned, pocketing the money.

Jinyoung clapped the man on the shoulder and led you into the entry. Speechless, you gawked at the exchange and for a moment, felt like smuggled goods.

“This is my penthouse,” Jinyoung explained as you stood in the corner of the elevator, neither of you having spoken a single word to each other since the brief exchange in the car. The ebony box was cold and suffocating, and made you viscerally aware of your own vulnerability in these circumstances.

Your eyes were fixated on Jinyoung, every slight move he made just a few feet from where you stood. As the elevator ascended to the top floors, he would glance between the door and his feet, shifting his weight and letting out a long sigh of restlessness. You remembered Jinyoung never did have much patience.

The tension was palpable and you searched your brain for a way to cut through, but Jinyoung had made very clear his disposition toward you for now. You weren’t afraid of him, but given how badly you wanted his forgiveness - you tried your best to do what would make him happy. The idea of being wholly at his mercy was at the front and center of your mind.

The bell chimed the arrival at the top floor of the tower and you gripped the rails with anticipation.

The doors whooshed apart and Jinyoung motioned with his arm, singing, “Ladies first.”

You were tempted to roll your eyes, but fought back the urge as you strode forward, your heels clicking loudly on the hardwood floors.

“Wow,” you gasped aloud, taking in the sight of the expansive residence.

The apartment could have been an identical copy of those opulent homes seen in upscale magazines and interior design journals. The place was spotless with an open floor concept, decked with chrome accents in a predominantly white and black theme.

But it was glacially cold and seemed a grey shell with no life to be found in it. There were no pictures. No splashes of color. You immediately wanted to gather as many flowers as you could to stick in a vase and put on the table for a semblance of light in such a dark place.

“You won’t live here,” Jinyoung explained rather sternly, protective over his home. “It’s my personal space. But you’ll come here often to stay the night. There will be times I’ll have one of my boys bring you here to wait for me.”

You barely heard him and certainly didn’t register his words. You were running your hand across the granite countertop in the kitchen. You were reminded of the tiny, old houses you and Jinyoung used to call home. Memories of sleeping in his arms on a worn out narrow mattress came to mind.

The damn thing squeaked as loud as possible whenever the two of you fooled around. You always made Jinyoung sweep the entire house to make sure no one was home before you had sex. Even now you could hear the thing creaking rhythmically in your ears, followed by your laughter in the distance because Jinyoung never failed to accuse the mattress of breaking his concentration and interfering with his stroke game.

You quickly snapped out of the memory, clearing your throat. Jinyoung trailed behind you slowly, watching your every reaction as you meandered through the penthouse. When you came to the first closed door you had encountered thus far, you turned to face him and asked, “What’s behind here?”

“Bedroom,” he replied flatly, without missing a beat.

You shifted your weight nervously, feeling all of the blood in your body rush to your cheeks. Given the new nature of your relationship with your client, you assumed the bedroom would be the destination regardless. Turning the knob, you stepped inside.

“Holy…” you trailed, eyes wide at the floor to ceiling windows covering the entire east wall. You approached them like a jubilant kid, planting your palms on the tinted glass and peering out at the vast city below you.

The hues of Seoul reflected in your eyes, every color possible splashing across your vision. You imagined the sight from this window would be breathtaking when night fell. For a moment in the silence, you turned somber, reminded you were such a small person in such a gigantic universe.

But this was your reality and it was time you faced the music.

Pivoting around to put your back to the rest of the world, you dropped your purse loudly on the floor and began unfastening your coat.

Jinyoung furrowed his brow, his hands buried in his pockets, and asked sharply, “What are you…”

“How do you wanna do this?” you asked, emotionless as you pulled off your coat and tossed it on to the nearby dresser.

Disapproving, Jinyoung shook his head briefly and deadpanned, “That didn’t take long.”

Shaking your hair loose, you interjected, “Should I keep the heels on? I know a lot of guys are into that.”

Jinyoung glanced down at your shoes and ran a hand through his slicked-back hair, snapping, “Hold on.”

You stopped, putting your hands on your hips.

His voice cut sharper than any razor when he countered, “You think I brought you here to fuck you?”

You looked around and snapped, “Why the hell else am I here?”

“The house is getting ready for you,” Jinyoung explained, taking your words in stride. “My driver is going to take you there in an hour or so.”

Settling your eyes on the massive bed, you trailed, “But I’m supposed to…”

Waving you away with disinterest, Jinyoung interrupted, “I’m not in the mood for sex right now. Sorry to disappoint you.”

Taking a step toward him, you argued, “You bought me for sex, but you don’t want to have sex with me?”

His rage boiled over when he whispered, “I bought you so no one else would.”

You flinched.

Jinyoung shifted, rounding on you and raising his voice slightly to yell, “Imagine that - having to pay for the love of my life.”

Stiffening, you could feel the atmosphere devolving into exactly what you had been expecting. Trying to retain some semblance of control, you breathed, “Jinyoung…”

“Do you know what it cost me, sweetheart?” Jinyoung cut in, his tone shifting to something patronizing and resentful. “Do you know the price I paid to let you keep your soul?”

“I don’t want free money. I work for what I earn. You’re paying me to sleep with you,” you defended, almost shouting.

Jinyoung snorted. “Not just that.”

“Right, you’re paying me to ‘date’ you,” you sassed, scoffing with disgust.

Fire flashed in Jinyoung’s eyes and he quickly sneered, “I’m paying for you to do what I want - whenever, wherever, however I want it.”

You folded your arms in contempt and reminded, “I still have to give consent.”

“Of course, I’ll have your consent.”

You rolled your eyes.

Jinyoung smirked almost menacingly, running his tongue across his teeth to tease, “You don’t think I can see you, darling? Do you think I’m fucking blind?”

You blinked in surprise.

“Every time I get too close to you, you hold your breath and stare at my damn mouth.”

Feeling yourself spiraling out of composure, you barked, “Whatever.”

Jinyoung was back to the game you had lost the night before and his sinful words rushed back into your mind. Noting the indecision evident on your face, Jinyoung persisted, “Your body is screaming for me to touch you.”

“I don’t hear anything,” you retorted, brushing past him to avoid the impending confrontation.

Jinyoung grabbed your arm and spun you back around to face him, hissing, “I’m not going to fuck you until you beg me for it. Until you swear you’re going mad without me. You won’t feel me inside you until you scream for me to take you.”

Shivering, you whispered, “I’ll never beg, Jinyoung. You won’t break me.”

“I will break you. I will make you know what I felt. I want you to know how it feels to have the person you love break the fucking soul out of you.”

Tears were already festering in your eyes and your first instinct was to flee. This was what you dreaded most . You couldn't face the pain you had inflicted on him. You couldn’t be reminded what a cruel animal you were for abandoning him the way you did. Nearly defeated, you whimpered, “Jinyoung, please…”

Jinyoung was only getting warmed up. You could hear his strong voice quivering with emotion when he told you, “Because that’s what happened to me. You tore my goddamn heart out.”

“I…”

“You,” he yelled, releasing your arm and pacing away. “The one person who was always there for me, who swore on her life to never leave me, left me to die so she could save herself!”

You shook your head vehemently and cried, “It wasn’t like that.”

Indignant, Jinyoung hissed your name with a snarl like poison had filled his mouth. “I don’t want to fucking hear it. Make yourself comfortable,” Jinyoung snapped coldly, discarding his suit coat and draping it on the bed.

Down to his dress shirt, he loosened his tie and began unbuttoning the cuffs of his sleeves. As he did so, he dropped heavily onto the mattress, letting out a prolonged, strained breath.

For a moment, you merely stared at him. This had nothing to do with money; this had everything to do with the sweet boy you betrayed years ago. The wounds had yet to heal. You realized you were the creator of this monster. You had made him what he was.

Perhaps that meant you were the only one to coax him back to the surface.

Approaching with caution, you touched his arms gently, feeling the tight muscles beneath the white fabric of his shirt. He bristled at your touch, surprised you would take this route after all that was said and done, but settled down just as quickly.

Skimming your palm across his chest, you whispered, “Jinyoung?”

“Hm?” he huffed, resorting to hiding his face behind his fingers.

You kneeled down before him, forcing your way between his legs and resting your arms on his thighs. He had no choice but to lower his hands and look at you.

“Kiss me,” you murmured, staring up at him with the most innocent look you could muster. Making yourself appear demure and submissive, you hoped and prayed he would take the bait.

Jinyoung tilted his head, clasping your chin between his fingers and surveying your face. “Are you giving me orders, baby girl?”

You blinked and softened your voice, beseeching in a whisper, “Please, kiss me. Please.”

Jinyoung sighed, his breath warming your skin.

Impatient and desperate for a mere fragment of forgiveness, you placed your hands on his thighs, rubbing softly, and pressed, “I’m begging you to kiss me. Jinyoung, I need you to kiss me. Please?”

Truly, you thought he wouldn’t discard enough of his pride to indulge you, but then you felt his muscles flex under your fingertips a split-second before he leaned forward and captured your lips with his own.

Every memory of every kiss you had shared with this man flooded into your mind. The love you once shared together filled you with warmth and energy, enticing you to fight for what was once yours.

Time slowed, but at the same time passed much too fast for you to keep a grasp of the world around you. Jinyoung kissed you for what felt like days. You were lost in everything he made you feel, hyper aware of every part of him before you.

You soaked up the smell of him, knowing the taste of him would linger on your tongue for hours to come. His body felt firm and unmovable against yours. His hands were rough yet tender as they came to hold your face. He took the lead with his kisses, breathing softly into your mouth, and rendering you suspended in some otherworldly place you used to exist with him by your side alone.

Jinyoung teased his tongue over your bottom lip and you opened your mouth with a soft moan to grant him access, but he didn’t take it. He merely wanted to know if you were inclined to give it to him so easily.

When he pulled away, you swayed between his legs, opening your eyes slowly and letting your vision focus on him. Jinyoung still held your jaw, searching your face for something to make him feel even a shred of mercy.

Finding nothing, Jinyoung lowered his hands and harshened his eyes.

And after a pause, he said, “That’s all you get from me for now.”

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a/n : this story was previously Lacuna on my old blog, minheoney. I’m really excited to finally finish it! This fic was my baby for so long and I’m ridiculously happy to give it a new home :)

Hey there, beautiful! If you enjoyed this, please leave a like or reblog or follow me! Or maybe buy me a coffee so I can keep writing? Or check out my masterlist here for more stories! Thanks for reading :) - Katya

This work is fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but is licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.

#got7 fanfiction #got7 #park jinyoung #got7 smut #jinyoung smut #got7 fanfic #got7 fic #jinyoung fic #park jinyoung smut #jinyoung fanfic #got7 scenario #got7 reaction #got7 imagine #jinyoung imagine #jinyoung scenario #jinyoung reaction

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starshine-selfships · 3 years

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Local man is desperately in love with his boyfriend but thought too hard and managed to convince himself that he made up the whole romance aspect and his partner doesn't actually feel the same way, so why even continue the act? Also he's wrong and his boyfriend loves him very much and that's all there is to it 😤💕

I am not a writer, I'm an artist, but I felt like giving this a shot. Both of us use he/him and I didn't actually plan anything, so I went back and color coded my own pronouns and dialogue; I do have a version without the colors as a backup however. Tbh I don't really care about the quality since again, I basically never write, and I also wrote this 100% for myself lmao, almost stream of consciousness baybee

That being said, I'm sorry I write like a pretentious victorian poet lsjdkdkx 😣

Soft. Just like everything else about him. Soft hair he yearned to stroke and bury his face in, soft hands shaping the air as he spoke, hands he wanted nothing more than to take into his own, to lift them and press a gentle kiss upon them. He even spoke softly, almost seeming afraid to break the silence, whispering and enunciating words as though speaking a prayer. Hearing his own name spoken in that quiet, intimate tone was enough to make him light headed, immediately overtaken by the delicacy of the interaction. His gaze was the most stunning feature, as it betrayed his past with pinpoint accuracy. The witnessing of humanity's cruelty did nothing to harden his stare; his eyes shone with a purely kind demeanor, merciful and trusting.

And such was the gaze fixed upon him in this moment, and he fought the desperate urge to meet it. He knew he didn't like eye contact and couldn't bear committing such an act of disturbance. He kept his gaze averted, feeling how almost painfully strong his heartbeat had grown, his frail frame beginning to shudder under its force. The incessant pounding had to be audible, and if that alone didn't lie the entirety of his being on the floor in front of him, then the heat steadily spreading across his face surely did. His emotions outpaced him, rushing with such force so that he'd never had a chance to restrain them, instead left fighting a losing war in a desperate attempt to not give himself away.

His gaze flickered nervously back to his beloved. He maintained that gaze long enough to see him smile warmly in response, causing his chest to feel just a bit tighter, his heart to beat only more forcefully. In spite of knowing his error - maintaining that dreaded eye contact - , he couldn't look away; to do so would constitute a betrayal, a moment of recognition followed by willful ignorance. He folded his hands, attempting to return the smile but being far too shaken for it to seem genuine. His darling softly laughed at the awkwardness of the gesture, voice as warm as the morning sun. He could no longer bear the strain of his sight, squeezing his eyes shut and turning away as the laughter rang in his head.

He had to be mistaken. His feelings should not be so insurmountable, something even he couldn't fully grip. He had lost all subtlety, and for what? The slim chance of reciprocation? Did such a chance even exist? He felt as though he'd combust if he remained in that room with him. The initially sweet feelings became sickening as he steeped in them, becoming almost shameful as they continued. He shouldn't need this. He was better than this. Was he though? Why couldn't he stop himself?

Simply stand up and leave? His legs would give out underneath him. Voice his firm objections? His voice would fail him. Physically remove that boy? The very thought of using any force at all placed more weight onto his chest, thinking of the sheer guilt and regret that would come from even accidentally inflicting pain. His attentive nature and eye for detail was his strong suit, but it was also what had gotten him more attached than he'd prefer, faster than he could've ever thought possible.

Beginning with patterns and habits he'd found amusing and leading to finding beauty in his every step. From seeing him avidly read and stargaze, to noticing how the sunlight reflected off his hair, to noticing the colors on barely visible earrings, to seeing his eyes flit back and forth between him and the window. Did he find looking at him to be unpleasant? Was he put off by the antennas? The insect features? The status? The reputation? Did not knowing also keep him awake at night? Did he like music? Did he think brown eyes were pretty? Why was he allowing himself to even consider these questions?

Foreign touch immediately grounded him, his eyes snapping open as he gasped in surprise. How long had he been lost in thought? How had his love gotten so close to him? His hand was on his shoulder. He slid it along his back, unfolding his arm and allowing it to rest on him as well. His touch was delicate, as though afraid of leaving a mark, despite him touching something so much more durable than himself. The affectionate gesture - no. Was it? Or was it merely a means of comforting what could be mistaken for distress? He kept his doubts in mind, not wanting to put an irreparable dent into the connection the two already had. Though, perhaps it would be for the better if he did. Tears welled in his eyes at the very thought of having to walk away, despite knowing it would likely be the best, and perhaps the only, option.

He noticed his love's other, empty hand lifted in front of him, frozen in air, likely pondering his actions as he made them. It was admirable, having such a sense of confidence that he didn't seem to need a plan for his course of action. He merely acted and accepted the outcome regardless, without fear. Yet another curious aspect of this boy that occupied his thoughts. He silently observed, watching him lift his hand out of view, only to grace his fingertips across the side of his face, settling his hand upon his cheek. Surely, surely he could feel how unnaturally warm he'd grown. It was something that had seemed endlessly amusing to his darling, how he was cold blooded and naturally cool to the touch; the heat of the blush had to be tangible. He truly feared how much more strain would be placed on him, the mere shared presence in the room alone enough to almost kill him. The physical contact overwhelmed him so badly he really did feel about to cry.

The gentle contact of his love's hand grew more forceful; still gentle, but with pressure indicative of a voiceless request. He turned his head with the nudge to fully face his beloved, whose face was mere inches from his own. Why was he so intent on such sweet torture? Had he caught on and decided to play before going in for the kill? He committed the sin of eye contact once more. Hazel, he'd been told. That was the color he saw in dreams, of a content present and a blissful future, that color of brilliance. Why wasn't he moving? Why was he allowing this? Why was his darling's hand in motion once more? Keeping his hand on his cheek, he had slid his thumb to the side, lightly gracing his lower lip. An unspoken request. No longer able to bear the weight of his own desire, he conceded to his affections and attempted to assent. He spoke, wide eyed and unblinking, his voice almost pathetically weak, borderline pleading in a strained whisper,

"... please...",

feeling defeated, yet also quite excited. He may have lost the war, but was being offered a consolation prize that would, even though only briefly, take away the painful sting of his own internal, personal loss.

His love inched yet closer and his eyes fluttered shut, as though he couldn't bear looking away for even a moment. He closed his own eyes as well, as if in response, but this time to better perceive instead of closing himself off. He could feel the warmth radiating from the petit boy in front of him, warmer than anything his own body could naturally produce. Basking in sunlight each morning to fully wake; spending the morning next to someone so close to his heart would feel just as holy. Like the delicate sensation of sunlight on the body, he felt the motion of his beloved as his lips graced his own, before he finally settled into the kiss, still subtly caressing his cheek with his hand.

He felt a quick tear streak down his face. Gentle gestures, all of them. When it came to him, they always were. It was as though he was incapable of harm in any capacity; he seemed almost afraid of being unloving or anything less than cheerful. His natural disposition towards brightness was reflected by everyone he interacted with, making others feel welcome and putting them at ease. In that moment, he also felt at ease, in spite of his doubts and insecurity, he felt at ease, melting into the touch of his.. lover? Was it fair to call him that? In the light and warmth of the kissing, it certainly seemed so.

After a period of drawing it out, going back for more and more, he finally broke away, opening his eyes once more to examine him. He opened his own eyes, slowly and with an amount of care, almost as if he were guilty after the act and nervous about what he would see. He looked into the eyes of the boy who stared back at him as though he were the one who'd put the sun in the sky. He softly smiled as he took in the scene, feeling tears begin to pool in his eyes once more. He felt he'd had confirmation that he was being irrational, but needed evidence that was nothing short of absolutely damning before he could fully accept it. He realized he was likely making him uncomfortable by looking him directly in the eyes again, they'd had that conversation before, he knew he shouldn't, it must be so irritating-

"Your eyes are so pretty."

He froze. He froze, finally breaking down and beginning to cry. His partner was well acquainted with his tears, and he knew there wasn't much he could do to stem their flow. Even with that in mind, he still wanted to console and soothe sudden wave of emotion.

"Are you alright? Do you wanna talk about it?"

A sing-song query in a half whisper. He sniffled and looked down at his hands, fidgeting in discomfort. He didn't want to overwhelm or alarm him, so he felt it best to choose his words carefully. But even then, he felt the horrific weight of finality hanging over him.

"Sometimes, I find it hard to believe that you do love me."

Confusion, hurt, and mild surprise. His lover almost seemed to anticipate it, making his heart feel like it was sinking further.

"Elaborate."

He drew a deep breath, sighing in pain and bracing himself for if he began to cry harder. The lump in his throat threatened to choke him. Barely able to speak, he forced broken sentences together, making a pathetic attempt to communicate anything at all before he dissolved into tears.

"Why?"

No response.

"Why me?"

Silence. The weight of every mistake he'd ever made was bearing down on him. Surely it was apparent how disgustingly flawed he was, not suitable-

"Well, this is a new one."

.. What?

"You really think I don't love you?"

He said it almost as though it were a joke.

"We've been together for almost two years now, and that's a choice both of us made. I can't even count how many chances I had to just, get up and walk away."

He cupped his face with both of his hands now; he lifted his own hands and placed them over his. He was crying freely, falling just short of actively sobbing.

"But I never took any of those chances. I want to be with you. You're a very sweet man and. Well it's horrible that you've got the mental conditions you do, but because we have the same kind, you've never missed a beat when it comes to making me feel better. And I wanna be able to do that for you too. You make me so happy and I wanna be able to make you feel the same way."

His head was bowed as he openly wept. He needed damning proof and it was handed to him, wrapped in ribbon and sealed with a kiss. He smiled through his tears out of sheer relief. His joy, his love, lover. The light didn't scorch and burn as he feared, but rather warmed and lifted the fog that had been enveloping him. He lifted his head once more, to look at his sweetheart with a mind unclouded by guilt.

"You don't like eye contact, you kept telling me-"

"I don't mind when you do it."

His eyes widened and his vision was once more blurred with tears. The lack of regret and remorse didn't unclutter his thoughts, and he was left unable to answer. What was there to say? Thank you? I needed to know that, despite already knowing it? My irrationality occasionally makes my life a living hell and I'm grateful for your extended patience? Admittedly, there was one thought that dominated and laid his soul bare on pure impulse-

"I love you."

"I love you too."

His lover slipped his hands out from beneath his own and motioned to encircle him in a hug, a gesture he enthusiastically returned. Resting his head against him, holding him and being held by him, knowing for certain that each step he himself took was perfectly mirrored by the boy in his arms; it was all more than he could ever ask for. He wished he could etch this moment into his memory, to never again doubt his lover or himself so deeply. While he did feel guilty for harboring such needless doubt, his partner would never be upset with him for worrying, and this he felt with certainty. Some of his many chances to leave very well were occasions where he'd been in hysterics over things that later proved to be inconsequential. He'd seen the ugliest and worst of him, yet, at the end of the day, he still chose love. His memories and the words spoken to him were perfectly interlaced, leaving no room for doubt. He was loved, and that's all there was to it.

#self ship #self ship fic #oooOoOOOH there's a tag for that?? and i cant believe im even using it #anyways.. here's me acting out my greatest desire of wanting to kiss this bug man and telling him i love him #hes canonically got bad anxiety and thinks too hard and well. thats what i call relatable content 😞🙌#he just needs some reassurance and affection; give that a man a hug and a kiss on the cheek fucking STAT #butterfly kisses

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notsosensational · 3 years

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This is my classpect master post for Danganronpa 2! It's been a while since my post for the first game, mostly because I was stuck on a few characters (it was much harder overall for some reason), but I'm finally done, god bless. I’m hoping to start and finish V3 soon to work on the next classpect post

Hinata Hajime- Page of Hope

-actively exploits and is served possibilities and positivity. Hope was easy for Hajime, because even though he's more of a "realist" than our other hope players, he's a fantastic beacon of encouragement to the people around him. Somehow he just knows the right things to say in order to lift people's spirits. He definitely didn't start out with much hope himself though. He was bitter and futureless, attending the Hope's Peak reserve course as more of a conciliatory prize than anything. But Chiaki bumped into him and gave him the belief that he's not any worse by not having a talent. And later, he was given a huge opportunity to take part in the "hope cultivation plan". There's a lot of self-denial going on with him, trying not to admit to others that he's only in the reserve course and trying to convince himself that he doesn't care that much, which runs rampant in pages and knights.

Kamukura Izuru - Muse of Hope

-passively embodies possibilities and beliefs. On my previous classpect post with the DR1 characters, I said I didn't do the master classes but I've changed my mind. I'm not going to go back and edit my post but I'm definitely sorting Junko as a lord and Izuru as a muse. There's nothing else he could be. Extreme passivity and preoccupation with personal belief and possibilities (what is interesting, what is boring, is there anything I can't do?). He *is* possibilities in that he has so many talents, he can do nearly anything. Also, this just goes to show that no class, aspect, or title is inherently good or bad. Some might be more inclined to, uh, moral confusion, but we all make our own choices.

Owari Akane- Mage of Life

-actively understands and guides energy and growth. Life seems a pretty solid fit for her, as she's basically grown up overcoming obstacles, metaphorically and literally as she does parkour and gymnastics. Her relationship with food is all about energy and not about quality (... she eats crushed flowers after Hiyoko tells her you get more protein when you crush the food). What really sold me on mage though, was her intuition. She's really noted for her accurate gut feelings; she can tell when someone is strong even when they don't look it and I learned after reading her wiki that in the "ultimate talent development plan" she could sense Mukuro and Maki weren't who they appeared to be.

Komaeda Nagito- Bard of Light

-passively destroys information and fortune. A lot of people say he's hope but while that could fit, light fits so much better. His cycle of good luck & bad luck makes sense as he's drawn to luck as a light player but then destroys it as a bard. Most importantly though, the way he wields information like a weapon to confuse and undermine people really solidifies it for me. Somehow, someway, he always knows (or acts like he knows) much more than everyone around him. His dialogue is endless exposition and self-centered but all his information is given to manipulate people and tear them down.

Pekoyama Peko- Knight of Doom

-passively serves systems, restrictions, and suffering. She serves the system she's always known. She is a tool to be wielded by Fuyuhiko and nothing more. Her feelings and desires are pushed down because there's no point in expressing them. She's very good at what she does though, she definitely exploits the rules she adheres by enough to be called an Ultimate. And even though she doesn't express her emotions, it's clear that her suffering has made her empathetic, as she's respectful and one of the few people who holds basic decency towards Nagito.

Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko- Prince of Blood

-actively destroys through relationships and bonds. He's destructive and he acts like it; heir was the only other class I was considering but he's very active and more into intentional destruction than unintentional changes. Obviously he destroys nearly any chance of close relationships with his classmates, but as a yakuza his job is to use his connections to lead, which often involves tearing down other gangs and ties. And finally, he destroys his only real relationship after Peko is executed after he orders her to kill Mahiro.

Hanamura Teruteru- Maid of Rage

-actively creates rage and limitations. I think maid fits well from the start, as he's a cook and that's all about creation. He definitely inspires rage in people, and the doubt and disbelief of rage is very evident in his constant denial of his surroundings. He created a lot of fear and negativity in himself because he wouldn't settle on believing or refusing what was going on- he needed to know the truth and that drove him to acting out. His insistence on being called "chef" and that he's from the city both fuel a sort of self-delusion that seems to be common with rage.

Nanami Chiaki- Rogue of Blood

-passively steals and relocates relationships and bonds. She is very focused on interpersonal relationships, and not just those centered on herself. To some extent, she's able to connect with everyone including reserve course Hajime, and black sheep Nagito. In the game, she's *really* good at redirecting people. If they're focused on arguing with someone, she manages to turn it around for the better, like with Hiyoko's shrine to Mahiru. She also fits the rogue archetype well, as in the anime she was an outcast in the beginning, and- this might just be my opinion- honestly I don't think anyone ever seriously got close to her as well as they did with some of the others.

Tanaka Gundham- Witch of Hope

-actively changes beliefs and possibilities. Honestly, I could see a bit of everything in him. I think witch fits very well with his aesthetic, but it also fits his choices. Witches are highly active but often off doing their own thing instead of cooperating with everyone; he spent more time looking for his earring than investigating for the first trial. Hope very clearly fits the zany belief system he has, but it also fits in other ways. It's not obvious because of his vernacular, but he has a crazy amount of optimism; he gets regular remarks ranging from "politely shunning" to "outright hurtful" and they never seem to seriously bother him. I view his act in chapter 4 as a grand example of changing his classmates' hope.

Sonia Nevermind- Knight of Breath

-passively exploits and serves through freedom and direction. While she is a princess, she definitely does not act like a prince. Instead she considers her title to essentially be a servant to her people. She isn't above them in anything but position, and she needs to direct them to a better future. She is cooperative and helpful to the rest of the class but not in the healer way a sylph would be, more in the useful motivator kind of way. She serves the team by keeping a composed head and encouraging everyone to stay calm and work towards the goal. She expresses the motivation and direction aspects of breath more so than freedom but it still shows in her detachment from everyone else due to her status. She's never really had close bonds before Hope's Peak.

Saionji Hiyoko- Thief of Time

-actively steals time. I went through several different titles for her in between analyzing other characters. She definitely fits the role of thief with a personality comparable to Vriska and Meenah. Dancing is a time activity as you need perfect timing for a routine, and traditional dancing even more so since it's lasted for centuries. Personally, I think because of her upbringing she is not quite acting as she wants to, and is ghosting the knight of space. She wants to be bold and confident, able to take up the time of others and act meaningfully, but she's hesitating; serving others space to keep them away and is pretending she's more capable than she is. She was kept spoiled and helpless growing up which means she developed the personality and drive of a thief, but not the skills needed for one.

Mioda Ibuki- Sylph of Heart

-passively heals emotions and sense of self. To me she is very clearly a heart player. She's very sure who she is and doesn't mind expressing it, and all of her free time events with Hajime are centered around helping him with his identity. She's friendly and gets along with pretty much everyone in some way, including "Byakuya", Mikan, and Hiyoko; all of which are not so easy to hold friendships with. I think it's interesting how much she likes "Byakuya" considering his constant identity crisis and I wonder if she can sort of sense that. She's loud and she stands out, but she's a pretty passive person concerning her actual actions and mostly helps people individually.

Souda Kazuichi- Page of Space

-actively exploits and is served space. I like space for him; I think the creationistic, physically-oriented, free-flowing structure of space suits his nature well. He's more concerned with the journey rather than getting to the perfect end results, as shown by the examples we have of his machines. One of his inventions automatically draws the lines on a soccer field but it had no stopping mechanism and escaped from the school grounds- it was quite a success to him though! He dreams of creating an incredibly fast bike that he can't even ride and he enjoys every step of the process even though it's taking him a while. He has created an intimidating physical persona for himself by dying his hair and wearing contacts to give him a punk look, but others comment that it doesn't quite match his jumpy, anxious personality. This is on-par for pages, who often feel the need for a mask, because he is now served space by strangers due to his appearance.

Koizumi Mahiru- Seer of Space

-passively guides and understands space. I struggled with her a bit as we really don't know much about her. She's kind of plain compared to the other outlandish personalities and she says she doesn't open up to Hajime as much as she would with a girl. Space is about creation, physicality, location, and enjoying the moment. Her interest in photography satisfied all of those especially with how she views it; she captures pictures of people smiling to create a record of the current moment. She's very level headed and is good at seeing the whole ~picture~ (hehe). She's not a very active person but she's quick to give her opinion and advice if she thinks someone is on the wrong track.

Tsumiki Mikan- Bard of Rage

-passively destroys through negativity and limitations. Rage was easy for her; she's surrounded in negativity and it tends to annoy (and occasionally enrage) those around her. It provides a unique contrast with Nagito, as she subverts the usual motive for killing (hope of getting off the island) and kills only for despair. It is, of course, expected for a bard to flip their lid, but she also acts as a bard before remembering her prior life. She does destroy some of the limitations through the first two trials by providing autopsies when the Monokuma files didn't cut it, and she very clearly represses her own rage at her abusers nearly 24/7. I think it's also worth mentioning that on a fictional level, rage and hope both are often associated with a sort of hand-wavey deus ex machina bullshit which I'd say applies to her ability to retrieve the memories of her past life due to the despair disease, even though it didn't work that way for anyone else.

Nidai Nekomaru- Heir of Mind

-passively changes actions and logic. The English translation of his ability is "team manager", but when he explains his skill, he doesn't focus on teams, he focuses on the athlete themself, so "coach" or "trainer" would be more apt I think. And a trainer is focused on changing your actions, getting you to perform better and better. Despite his loud and boisterous personality, he tends to be pretty level headed. He's able to clearly ascertain what each individual athlete needs to improve and create an orderly regiment for them. It took me a while to decide on heir, but it fits better than any other class I feel, as he does inherit the title from Daisuke, a team manager he shared time in the hospital with who later died, and his personality is similar to the other heirs we know in Homestuck.

Ultimate Imposter- Maid of Void

-actively creates nothingness and secrets. I was originally gonna go with heart because of identity issues, but after reading their wiki because I didn't want to rewatch the anime, most of their issues stem from feeling like they don't exist, feeling like nothing, which is spot on for void. Not to mention they need to keep their secret while impersonating someone, and they have to basically create secrets whenever people ask them personal information about whoever they're portraying at the time. They are made of nothingness, with no name, no background, and they create more of it when providing falsities to their classmates. Even without the pun of "made" and "maid", they're a very kind and helpful person no matter who they're posing as.

#homestuck #danganronpa #danganronpastuck #danganstuck #drstuck #classpects

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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Re the BTD recap: "the prose is still incredibly messy in places" "To be frank, it’s not that I think this is all particularly good… just not particularly bad either." If it's not too much trouble, can I get some concrete examples for why? I feel like I often don't notice this sort of thing, so I want to know what I'm missing. Might help me to be a better writer.

Challenging request, anon! :D I feel like I need a few disclaimers here:

The book is serviceable. It’s just not going to be winning any awards. Talking about how the prose and dialogue can be better isn’t meant to translate to, “This is the worst thing ever written.” Because it’s not.

This is very much a pot calling the kettle black situation. Anyone here has the capability of hopping onto AO3, finding a horribly written passage of my own, and shaking it in my virtual face. So this is likewise not intended to be me standing atop a pedestal going, “Anyone - myself included - could do better.” I often can’t do better because writing is hard.

I’m not a creative writing instructor, thus it’s often difficult for me to articulate why I think a piece of literature doesn’t read well. If you’ve ever, say, come out of a movie with a strong sense of it not being “good” but can’t easily explain why it failed? It’s similar to that. By consuming lots of media we get a sense of “quality” over “badly written” that then informs our reactions to new texts, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to boil that response down to, “See here on page 3? They shouldn’t have done this. Fix that and it’s ‘good’ now.”

Nevertheless, let’s try. I’ll take a passage from the prologue where Sun is facing off against these “goons”

Two glowing clones of Sun flared into existence, one facing Pink and the second squaring off against Green. That left Brown—whom he figured was both the leader of the group and the most dangerous. Why? Because he was hiding the most.

Brown slashed a hand toward Sun. “Take him.”

“Which one?” Green asked.

“The real one,” Pink said. “These are just flashy illusions.”

Sun directed one of his clones to punch Pink in the face.

She blinked and looked more annoyed than hurt.

“That’s no illusion!” Green reached for clone Two.

Sun’s clones were physical manifestations of his Aura, every bit as capable of inflicting damage as he was. But it could be difficult to control them, especially while he was fighting. They were better suited to giving him the element of surprise, extra pairs of hands, or emergency backup when he needed it.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t sustain them long, and they couldn’t take much damage, as they drew Aura from Sun himself. If he kept them going too long, or tried to create too many clones, it usually weakened the Aura shield protecting him. But he’d improved a lot with training, and his Semblance was a lot stronger than it used to be.

Sun whipped out his gunchucks, Ruyi Bang and Jingu Bang, spinning them as he and Brown circled each other slowly. At the same time, Sun was fighting Pink and Green through his clones. Pink was some kind of boxer, dancing around and jabbing with her fists, which One was managing to block. Meanwhile, Green was trying to grab Two and wrestle him to the ground.

Brown had some kind of martial arts training similar to Sun’s—but he wasn’t nearly as good. Sun leaned back as Brown did a high roundhouse kick; he felt a breeze as his opponent’s booted foot swept past his nose with a lot of power behind it. Sun flicked his right gunchuck to loop it around Brown’s ankle and pulled him out of his stance, hitting him with the closed gunchuck in his left hand. The man took the full blow, but it didn’t even faze him.

Now let’s break down some of the reasons why this passage doesn’t work for me. I’ll work chronologically.

As mentioned in the recap, it’s rather awkward for a PoV character to ask and answer their own questions. Especially when they’re not presented as literal thoughts. The “Why? Because...” takes me right out of the story. It suddenly sounds like I’m attending a lecture or reading an article. Sun believes X. Why does he believe this? Because of Y evidence.

The dialogue is clunky. This problem is admittedly more obvious at other points, but there are a lot of moments where it doesn’t feel like this is a natural thing someone would think or say. Which again, is really hard to write. How people speak is quite different from how we think they speak and finding a balance between that (eliminating most pauses like “um” or “like” that would be too frustrating to read, giving characters more flowery language to serve the story’s goals even if it’s not realistic, etc.) is hard to nail. Here, Sun is often thinking things that don’t sound l like an actual thought in a panicked teen’s head.

Oh crap, Sun thought. I’m losing. How am I actually losing?

It just sounds like exposition. The reader needs to know that Sun is losing! So Sun will tell them that.

The villains, so far, are a bit too cartoony for me.

“You got lucky, monkeyboy,” Green said as he walked off, his companions following him through the cloud of foul vapor. “This time.”

Which is admittedly a matter of taste and does have some justification given RWBY’s early writing (think Roman). Still, it’s hard to take lines like this seriously, especially when we just had the group making fun of Velvet for cheesy quips. But the villain’s quips are supposed to read as daunting?

Connected to Sun’s thought above, there is a lot of telling rather than showing throughout. For example: “She blinked and looked more annoyed than hurt.” There are ways of showing the reader that Pink is annoyed (indeed, just leaving it at “She blinked” would have gotten the point across) rather than resorting to, “She looked ___”. Another good example would be “ Sun leaned back as Brown did a high roundhouse kick; he felt a breeze as his opponent’s booted foot swept past his nose with a lot of power behind it.” You don’t need to reassure the reader that there was “a lot of power behind it.” The action itself - feeling a breeze, his boot passing close to his nose - conveys that on its own.

To be clear, telling isn’t something you can’t ever do (break those writing rules!!) especially when sometimes you just want to be clear/convey something succinctly, but it is something to keep in mind. It’s another balancing act. Too much telling and the reader feels like they’re just being told a list of things to believe. Too much showing and it feels like the writer is trying too hard to make everything detailed, exciting, etc. Still, a good writer is going to be able to convey everything (Sun losing a fight, annoyance, a powerful kick) without feeling the need to remind the reader of things every few lines, “This is what’s happening. Don’t get confused!”

After the fight starts we immediately get a two paragraph info-dump about Sun’s semblance. How it works, what his limitations are, and what that means for this fight. Again, show that! We’ve just started an action sequence. The fight is underway. The reader doesn’t want to get pulled out of the action for another lecture. Rather than hitting pause on the fun stuff to explain things, create scenarios where these details become relevant and can be shown to the reader. Right now we don’t care what Sun’s limitations are unless those limitations become important.

We get another announcement in the form of “[Brown] wasn’t nearly as good [as Sun]” instead of (again) showing us that. Indeed, as I mention in the recap all the action that comes next contradicts this. So where did this assertion come from? If Sun knows that Brown uses a martial arts style similar to his then theoretically they’ve been fighting for at least a few seconds... but the reader doesn’t get to see that. Meyers was too busy telling us about Sun’s semblance.

Finally, there are pockets of Meyer’s writing that are all roughly the same. Meaning, sentences have little variety to them. This isn’t a consistent problem (and it’s certainly not the worst example I’ve seen of this) but on the whole he could use a more engaging flow to his work, both in terms of sentence length and balance among actions, dialogue, descriptions, and thoughts. Otherwise you get prose that reads, “This happened. Then this happened. This happened next. See the length? It’s all the same. Very little changes. And the reader gets bored.” Again, not a consistent problem, but one he should keep working on.

There are a number of other, smaller issues that are beginning to pop up. Such as the in parentheses pronunciation of the teams’ names, or the overuse of “he sent” whenever Fox communicates telepathically. In contrast, there are things about the writing that I’ve enjoyed. There are moments of dialogue - such as Fox’s joke in Chapter One, or how Sun’s instructions to “find Shade” literally refer to the school but also remind the reader that shade, in such a hot environment, is crucial - that I think are worth pointing to and going, “Yeah. That was a nice touch.” Overall though? It’s that, “I just came out of a bad movie” feeling. There’s too much clunkiness throughout. The writing often lacks variety or feels absurd. I’m taken out of the story more often than I fall into it. Is it the worst thing I’ve ever read? Far from it, but fans aren’t wrong when they say things like, “I’ve read better fic than this professional story.”

#rwby #rwde #mymetas #Anonymous

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resonatingfern · 4 years

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1, 2, 5, and 6 for Kiora and Ryrra? :)

Ryrra

1: List five basic facts about your OC.

She’s a guardian, though protecting isn’t really her strong suit. She thinks more like… no need to protect people if all the enemies are dead.

She joined the Inquest voluntarily when she was 13, and escaped it when she was 23.

She hasn’t spoken to her family since she ran away to the Inquest. She’s afraid they’ll always hate her.

Greatswords are her weapon of choice, but she’s been known to use Braham’s mace or longbow in a pinch.

She’s much stronger than she looks.

2: Post a line of dialogue from your OC. “I stopped it!” She yelled, her eyes still shut. Then, softer again, almost a plea — “I’m a good person.”

5: Describe your OC’s physical appearance. Tiny and pink! She’s small even for an asura, though she’s worked hard to gain the muscle and strength needed to fight. She’s got pink hair, though originally it was blonde, so she has to keep the color up by dying it every so often. Her eyes are bright red thanks to an experiment while she was in the Inquest.

6: Describe your OC’s love life. She’s been very happily in a relationship with Braham since mid-way through lws3. Since she’s not the commander she was free to travel with him, so she’s stuck by his side through everything.

Kiora

1: List five basic facts about your OC.

She didn’t come from the Pale Tree. She awoke from a half submerged tree deep in the Unending Ocean.

She lived and hunted with a band of Krait for years before Zhaitan rose and wiped the band out

Her dream featured the elder dragon of the sea, but she hasn’t figured that out yet

She joined the Vigil so she could aid in killing Zhaitan and avenge the krait he had killed, especially the one she had been in love with

She’s a mesmer, but doesn’t use her magic often, favoring instead just stabbing things.

2: Post a line of dialogue from your OC. “And you look like you don’t know when to shut up,” Kiora spat back, shoving at the wet mass of flexible vines that acted as her hair.

5: Describe your OC’s physical appearance. She’s tall and slender, with skin the color of seafoam. She has a splatter of white freckles along her nose and cheeks and her hair is thick, deep black vines. Her eyes are completely black, with no pupils.

6: Describe your OC’s love life. After her krait girlfriend was killed Kiora didn’t think she’d ever find anyone else to love. She spent a long time mourning the loss, and walling her heart off. But then she met Solvi, and though their relationship started out slow, she began to fall in love with the norn.

#thanks for asking!#shiverpeakstraveler #oc: ryrra #oc: kiora

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tigpooh67 · 3 years

Link

New interview from Pedro. Did my best to translate to English.

Enjoy!!

**************************************************************************************

Looks like Pedro Pascal is in every possible universe. Here and there. In the past, in the present and in galaxies far, far away. Today, the actor is considered the great benchmark of entertainment and one of those in charge of saving a franchise that seemed lost. Sufficient reasons to talk exclusively about discipline, gastronomy, creeds and how he swallowed his dad in 30 seconds.

The SAR defines 'creed' as the set of ideas, principles or convictions of a person or group. For example, by creed, one can leave his country and be in exile. It just so happens that one can leave the loved one behind. Or simply live in another reality. And you can also put on a helmet to pretend never to take it off again. If that is the way to go, the creed says that it must be done with the profession of faith and without stopping to look. As he turned the pages of the script for The Mandalorian, the Disney+ series that revived passion and nostalgia for the Star Wars franchise, Pedro Pascal came across this definition in every dialogue and moment, and reflection worked his way.

It has been more than two decades since the Chilean-American Pedro Pascal began his acting career and today, named as the great benchmark of 2020, misses the theater and still hurts him not to have the discipline to exercise and maintain a healthy diet while recognizing the ironic of having the best year of his career in the midst of one of the worst in recent history. But even in physical solitude, the man who carried Christmas's best-selling baby rescues many positive things and shares the vision of the universes he has traveled through, his passion for distant galaxies, and how to traumatify your family with a simple TV scene. In interview, the Mandalorian of Latin America.

IMDB named you the 2020 benchmark in entertainment, a year in which the world took refuge in fiction. What was it like to live your best time locked up and what do you rescue on a human level from him?

The strength of family relationships and friendship. For them, we endure this physical loneliness. I find it ironic that in 2020 I received projects so well received by the public, although they were carried out before the pandemic and their impact was during this one, and that year I was isolated and alone. But I must stress that loneliness is a privilege when many people had to keep working, surviving and maintaining the functioning of the world. We just had to be alone, but they had more than that and you have to value it too.

Among the activities you've lost, how much do you miss the theater?

A lot, really. It's something I miss most and being with people without feeling afraid. See a play and return to those experiences of being with people doing and living things in common. That's what I need most, besides my loved ones.

Disney went into streaming and its strong card has your face, what do you think of the discussion of platforms against movie theaters?

In streaming there are amazing things and many people develop great projects that they didn't access before. The diversity of voices is taking its way and it is important to recognize that opportunities grow exponentially and limits change. It's amazing how much availability we have to very well-made content and how creative people can share their work in different ways. But I also want to be honest: limiting the experience of viewing content only on our gadgets or at home is a mistake that affects the stories we can tell. A mix of opportunities and challenges must be achieved.

Leaps between the fictional universes that mark the last decades until they reach the universe of universes. What is your first Star Wars memory and how do you sum up the essence of this legendary story?

For me, Star Wars is nostalgia itself. It's one of the primary things in my memory, of my childhood. I came to the United States with my Chilean family when I was under two years old and one of my first memories is going to the movies with my dad to see the saga; it becomes one of those romantic things about childhood, that open your mind, so imagine how special it is to participate in this project. I think the creators of The Mandalorian fully understand this nostalgia and power, and they managed to count on that element as a great ally for the Star Wars world and I can't be happier to be a part of it. (Of which we look forward to the third season The Mandalorian)

The Mandalorian exploits the power and nuances of your voice, did you have that letter on your resume?

I didn't know I could do it, but I resorted to my theatrical preparation, which was very physical at all levels and feelings. There are elements that have to do with creating a role, and they teach you that voice is a primary thing, something you have to start with and can't hide. Now I've learned a lot more about the importance of that, and how to use it with economics. The body also has to do with it, because something very subtle communicates something. At The Mandalorian, I had a great time figuring out how to do it, they gave me the opportunity to develop it in different ways. The opportunity to be very intense in it.

What about the ego when someone works under a suit and mask?

In the conversations about the project, before doing so, we were informed of the idea and concept of the whole season, so I clearly understood what it was. I wanted it to be the most powerful version of what they were trying to accomplish, so it didn't make sense for me to involve my ego, you know? It was already very clear what the project meant, so I knew about the character, the piece he represented for himself and the opportunity it was for me, so I was just focused on better executing the part that touched me in all this. In the theater, I worked several times under a mask and it helped me develop the experience.

It seems that The Mandalorian has a very theatrical base...

Exactly, and thanks to the physical experience of working in theater, making a play a few times a week, discovering how your body and your voice communicate, being part of an entire image, and how you will tell that story visually, I achieved this character. I never imagined it would be something I would have to use in such an important Star Wars project.

On the list of entertainment greats, there are names like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, do you think John Favreau's should be added to the list?

I think his name is already included. Without a doubt, it's in that category and it's amazing. I'm fascinated by his vision. I remember a chapter in the second season, and I had some boots and I walked so much in the snow, that it stuck to them. He noticed, so he talked to the art department about the kind of boots you need when you're in the snow. They came up to me and gave me some new ones that fulfilled the idea I was looking for. He noticed it in an instant. It is such a wonderful detail and is repeated at scale in every session with it. Think of absolutely everything and your vision of using technology is admirable. He's someone who makes you feel motivated and always sees how to achieve the goal.

One of the reflections of the series is on how and under what circumstances a man can break his creed and the way he lives. What makes you break up with your beliefs?

I think you must follow your heart so as not to repent of anything; even if it sometimes brings pain or conflict, deep down when you go back, it's all worth it because it's what you heard in your heart. I'm very afraid to deny that feeling or not to take care of it. Now I'm 45 years old and I can't believe I have a finer philosophy. Make him more disciplined. It's ridiculous, but I'm trying to accept that I am and that's all I can say, "Follow your heart." Although, you know, I still don't follow a good diet, I still have trouble sleeping or exercising.

Are you still good at Chilean empanadas?

Yes, I couldn't stop. And also how good that I don't live in Mexico City because I would only spend it eating. I could move my whole life to the defe just to eat.

I want to deviate and ask you, who did you see the chapter of your death in Game of Thrones and what trauma did you cause to your family?

For me, no trauma. I separate myself well from the characters, although I fully understand that if I were a Game of Thrones audience and loved that character, it would make an incredible impression on me. Thank you, it wasn't. I had to interpret it and there was a model of my head to be crushed that way with the tubes and the fake blood, you know? I lay there, with pieces of my flesh, it was funny in the end. But not for my family. There's nothing funny about them and it's traumatic. My dad totally changed his voice when we saw the episode, turned around and said, "I didn't like it, Pedro. No, Pedro, not this."

The media found similarities between your villain in Wonder Woman: 1984 and Donald Trump. When you play a character with characteristics like that, do you humanize or understand it?

The project had nothing to do with the former president. I was always told that my character in Wonder Woman:1984 was emotionally messy, and I took that and took it as far away as possible. Instead of creating it with images or certain inspirations from life, it was more working with what was on the page. Personally, what made sense to me is the size of the story being told and there's always more, and we all want more. Creatively, if this makes sense, that meant "flying it out of the park." Connect a hit with the character and be committed to telling their story faithfully, in a way that was true to me. So all the exterior elements found their way.

What way to start 2021 with the theme of the Capitol... how do you perceive that moment?

I am not a politician and it is not that I have no opinion on such events; However, there is no need to express the obvious. My opinion would be very simple compared to that of a person who studied this, who knows how to act in these kinds of scenarios; I think I'm next to the majority who lived this, which is the logical result of what we've been through over the years and we're all horrified. It was distressing to see this violence.

If you had the monolith in your hands, what would be your wish?

My wish would be... it's impossible, the truth (laughs). I think it's being together again, with less fear and people having a chance to connect.

What is your position of the reality that Chile has experienced in recent years and how has the relationship with your country been since exile?

It's something I'm developing and I keep doing it in my life, trying to understand that it's my home. Being in Chile is being at home, but my life has been very nomadic, living different things and having many influences; so it's strange, I don't feel the title of a full Chilean identity or an American.

Neither from here nor there?

In a sense, but I'm also completely both. My parents are Chileans, my brothers were born there before my parents traveled, and I returned sometimes because my family is so big; in fact, my parents came back. It's always been there, it's still developing, and it's going to be a part of me. I don't know if I answer your question, but it has a lot to do with who I am.

What is your relationship with Latin American cinema? Interested in you?

A lot, it's invaded me in life like American cinema. The movies I have in my heart, seeing something like And your mom was also something that changed me; I also love the work that comes out of Chile, and all I can say is that it is a cinema that needs more access and projects.

You got a comedy with Nicolas Cage on your doorstep today, can you tell me something?

It's my first chance at comedy, as a complete story within the genre. Speaking of American influences, in the 1980s I saw all the films where Nicolas Cage was coming out, he came into my life and it's great to be his partner after seeing all his performances.

What's your relationship with the comedy genre like?

I love it, I've done a lot of comedy in the theater, what happens is that in film and television themes, I was always part of drama castings. And in the cinema, you go where the doors open; although I identify with one or the other, I think being an actor, you go and do what you have to do. Comedy is something unique, it's very challenging because it has to be very real to make it funny, you can't hide or use normal tricks. I was very excited to have this challenge in front of a camera.

Finally, Pedro, after going through so many fictional worlds, literally, what do you dream of when you sleep?

I dream that my bathroom is dirty, that I haven't done my math homework, that the oven and all that stuff are on. Of course, there are times when I close my eyes and see myself in all these projects, although my conscience is with the anxieties of the day you can imagine.

#pedropascal #the mandalorian #games of thrones #the mentalist #dave york #the good wife #Equalizer 2

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