#his smile gives me a will to live

[jupio]

fancy seein' you here

(click for the full image quality)

pov you have never done a nature/grassy foreground so it takes you >6 hours and several tutorials and then you STILL have to ask your brother bc it looked Over Rendered and you cant work out how to fix it (basically just screenshots of the process)

+ cursed horse

#dincobb #the mandalorian #din djarin #cobb vanth #my art #star wars fanart #this is the first fully rendered piece I've done. in a year. i feel like i have birthed a child. #anyway uhhhhhhhhhhh look at the detail on their holsters and also din's smile #he does also have freckles which is cute #dins armband is a strip torn from cobbs scarf #cobb has a pink ribbon on his hat because of course he does #this is inspired by br1ghtmouths's Lessons in Idle Ecstasies fic which lives in my brain and enters my thoughts at inopportune moments #seriously it is giving me rot (positively) #i have like 7 more of these in the chamber #anyway commissions are open so if anyone wants a drawing like this. let me know. i don't bite i prommy

[frnkiebby]

HIS STUPID FUCKING SMILE~🎃

#obviously a video chat filter on him #bc wow no pores #but jfc his smile is so pretty #i love him sm he’s so cute #i need his pretty little eye crinkles #they are essential for my mental health #they give me part of my will to live and stay sane #frnkiebby #frank iero #mcr #frnkiero #frnkie #mcrmy #mcr5 #my chemical romance #my chem #ilhsm

[002yb]

For as rough as his brother's hands can be, they're gentle with him. Even when Ace couldn't return the kindness, Luffy endured him; holding fast to clenched fists and knuckles that were split and swollen. Persistent, stubborn even after Luffy pried his hand into Ace's and grit his teeth through the ache of Ace's bruising grips. Whining because he was a crybaby and it hurt, but never pulling away. Only squeezing just as tight in playful retaliation. Smile wide as he coaxed Ace's fingers out of their vice grip to clasp their hands together - warm and soft in a way that made Ace flinch. Because while there was dirt beneath Luffy's nails, there was blood beneath his.

And in spite of that—in spite of everything—Luffy never let go of him. Whether or not Ace feels worth that love and tender devotion, Luffy holds on to him: hands clasped together as Luffy beckons him on new adventures, a reassuring squeeze whenever Ace wavers, a bruising grip when Luffy is overcome; nails cutting into Ace's skin until Ace soothes him. Lips ghosting over knuckles - swollen and split).

Rough, but gentle with Ace. Always.

#acelu #okay someone tell me why they're so soft?? #the childhood sweethearts trope has never been so sweet i'm ahhhhhhh #following an Ace lives AU -- Luffy persisting with wanting to hold ace's hand or be held by Ace in any capacity ffffffff #with Luffy pulling Ace's arms around him - back to chest and then Ace plonks his chin on top of Luffy's head and it's so cozy and sweet #but wait-- #Luffy trying to hold Ace's hand. Just scooching his own beneath Ace's in a silent demand to be held #and Ace ignores him for the sole sake of tormenting his brother dear hahaha #of course he caves though and laughs through the kisses he presses to the back of Luffy's hand -- snickering because Luffy is fun to tease #and more-- #either of them surprise grabbing each other's hand and swinging them between them as they walk omgggggggg OMGGGG #them swinging someone between them -- Chopper or Tama or xyz kiddo -- so darling ;A; #most darling?? Luffy idly poking at Ace's fingers #just them standing at the side of the ship overlooking the ocean -- where Luffy is leaning against the railing #and Ace might be looking out at something but Luffy is focused on Ace's hands and he just --reaches out. Just a pinky to brush against Ace #and it gets Ace's attention and Ace hooks their pinkies and Luffy's smile is so brilliant that Ace can't help but fluster because ;////; #ahhhhhh Ace being helpless and having to look away but his ears give him away because they're burning red with blush and he tries to #play it cool but Luffy laughs at him because he /knows/ and Ace is OTL but it's wonderful ;3;

[mako-neexu]

a 'beginning' and 'end', a place to feel grounded, a place of bottomlessness, a place of safety and familiarity, the feelings of the living to a journey that seemed to feel as if there is no end in sight can be a burden no one can bear. a familiar feeling of floating as you fall almost endlessly, as if suspended in time, a memory that reminds you of someone from years past, a nostalgic feeling of soft gloves and pink hair, of a small smile of happiness and the faint smell of chemical and antiseptic... so close like a star. all the things you lost, all the sorrow, all the memories of cherished pain and joy shall be your guide until the end. you will reach that destination as one of the living. should you falter and feel as if time had stopped and nothing grounds you to the earth, and you feel that you have been falling endlessly without hope, may the bonds you have gained pull you up. again and again. should you fall, should your heart waver in the face of mind numbing ache to bittersweet nostalgia, everything that you keep close to your heart shall save you, one way or another. as long as there is an end to the fall, you are alive. you are alive.

#as long as you are alive #there is a destination to reach #an end is surely in sight. an end that can make you look back at your journey #and smile at it as someone who lived life to the fullest #special thanks to shachi sensei my favorite artist for obeguda forever #fgo #fate grand order #fujimaru ritsuka #guda #oberon vortigern #obeguda #GOD i ARTISTS AND WRITERS WHO INVOVLE OBEGUDA WITH ROMANI IS MY #LIFEBLOOD THEY GIVE ME THE MOST AMAZING FOOD FOREVER IM IN THER DEBT IM CRYING #romani archaman #obegudaromani #grr its a rare thing but guda's star who is romani and oberon who can only look at his master with disgust and love #with admiration and nausea as the sole reason why guda is able to come this far is because #of THAT man alone #no other servant or staff has this effect on guda but the man who guided guda and was able to #grow as a reliable master in the short time he spent with them #oberon of course has respect for romani but isnt it a curse? to love someone so much that you #have to live for them. you have to live for those you love even if it means their deaths #i am a crazy obegudaromani fan #its a rare thing but i love it ghh

[reneevz]

me when my husband is miserable and a stalker:

#he’s such a princess #so silly coded #his smile is brighter than a tv screen #a hot tv screen obviously #but that’s not the point here #he is so miserable that it makes me want to have him obsessed with me #not to the point that he would kill for me (he probably would anyway) #but to the point that he cannot live away from me #to the point that he is as clingy to me that i am to him #to the point that he always cuddle close to me when it’s time to sleep #that he wants to hold my hand all the time #that he needs to pepper my face in kisses all the time #that we just both love to simply laze all day in bed and give each other silly compliments and praises

[justablah56]

think I'm currently experiencing a crush for the first time in like . 5-6 years and what the fuck . how do you allos just . deal with this . I don't . how do you even function .

#just blahs #also hey what the fuck to this one guy for deciding to exist and give me an identity crisis fucking hell my dude #anyways he lives like an hour away from me but hes gonna be in town on saturday so were gonna hang out and ahh #ive literally been smiling stupidly and stimming about his message since i read it #literally multiple times since i realized i *liked* him hes just kinda crossed my mind and im left here completely dumbfounded #how do you allos even function ???? #i am confusion ???? #arospec #greyromantic #idk my man im going through a whole crisis rn

[mofffun]

Team wings headcanons??? Any????

They are children on the playground and arguing is proof of their "friendship"!!

Headcanons

Rita being the secret supplier to Yanma's antique collection (think government auction, double as one Gokkan's source of income)

Yanma Gast 100% knew about Moffun.

Yanma the hashtag angry mark vs Rita the pool of yarn mark (ahhh I want to doodle)

THEM WITH KIDS: Rita scaring a little girl in N’kosopa vs. the flower twirl with Ishabana boy + Yanma is a good teacher

when did they first hear the king-ohger legend

"You don't even know that?" -> Yanma: yelling at auroras to "turn off your damn speakers!!!" // Rita: can't tell a lightning cable from a type c

I don't think Rita is bad in tech in terms of lacking a sense in it but they just never had the need to study it

Rita will never say the full technical name for Yanma's inventions though (Does he even know his lie detector is called the Thundercarcker behind his back?)

(bringing the actors into this) Rita serectly adding another grudge on their list because Yanma's Moffun voice is actually really good

per manga ch13, the grudge list grew again because the Jealous Judge's retainer has a heart uchiwa for the yankii king

Yanma is smart enough to motivate the judge with words into helping him if necessary but it'll take a minute hour for Rita to begin wonder if it was because they agreed with his reasoning or his choice of words

Yanma is 2 years older but by kingship he is 6 years Rita's junior. Their first meeting happened at 21/19. The number fluctuates because I also really want to see their first meeting at 19/15.

similarity and differences:

teased by Himeno, Yanma turns red and Rita turns white

they are too gay to sit properly

parallel play (they could sit in a coffee shop for hours and people would think they are angry with each other because they're not talking but it's actually the most comfortable way for them to stay together in the same room)

unconsciously hum while working long hours

“what is sleep”/caffeine addicts 

 you KNOW they both have a tendency to fall asleep in their office

Both have a sweet tooth but Yanma in drinks and Rita in hard candy. Rita more so than Yanma because butterfly.

don’t really look at what he’s eating vs. has a gokkan-native comfort food

Yanma doesn't mind trying foods with dry/weird textures Rita is not exactly a picky eater (because gokkan food shortage/low variety of homegrown food) but typical “I need that texture once in a while or I start malfunctioning”

(Gokkan has all sort of weird pickles and dried meats, typical winter country)

Like any northerner Rita has a high alcohol tolerance though without a preference (okay Gokkan harvest(?) festival and the one day the prison complex is allowed fruit punch) and you'll find me beat up before I say Yanma Gast can take more than a beer.

Yanma Gast has a HUGE ego but I think it’s only gotten worse by having an eternal hyper in Shiokara. Does Rita has an ego? long story short, yeah.

Instances:

first meeting

development of king's hotline/ohger calibur/king's weapon

the moffun scalper

development of the lie detector

yanma's arrest and trial

when yanma and rita were castle-mates (?) before himeno and kagu got themselves in jail

jail time

the body swap phone call!!

body swap resolution (admit it canon is not giving it to us)

the voyage back home

maintenance spa day of the shugods

first meeting: I think one reason Rita doesn't like N'kosopa much (and an underlying cause to them randomly arresting everyone in 28 besides stress), is organized crime plagued N'kosopa in the aftermath of Wrath of Gods.

Post-Wrath, the blue king ran away, so N'kosopa is either an anarchy or at warring states where crime bosses and militarists took hold. "Police" exist but took bribes per Shiokara. At that time, Rita just became king themself and has enough on their plate. So even though it's technically a domestic affair, it's a growing potential threat to Chikyuu's order but it's too systemic for a 10-year-old foreigner to take on alone.

I also think Rita would be required to witness the day Yanma officially becomes King. He has the popular vote, but to keep things simple, the monarchy is kept instead of transitioning into procedural democracy. So the yakuza lawyer, Usba maybe, say they have to get the Chief Justice here, to everyone turning blue and silent for a moment from the excited discussion of a big ceremony hearing their name.

but! my initial fic idea in may/june was very simple because I only wanted to put them in a bike + sidecar and sunglasses and comedic road trip. They chase down a McGuffin to help a kid. Their budapest. Where Yanma making "Absolute Neutrality" Rita's name comes from something they said. Maybe that's why the couldn't end the incident in a less legal but more effective way.

another first meeting idea allows them to meet younger as late teens is maintenance day for the shugods. A very random event is if the Yanma needs the Ohger Calibur to stay over temporarily, how is Rita gonna continue with the trials? Did he buy them a substitute pon pon Moffun hammer at the tuck shop??

Developing the henshin system: See I think Yanma is not going to bother putting in a function that he personally can’t use but knowing it’s a team’s weapon, as a good designer, he at least has to ask the other kings what they want as an auxillary. What is his reaction hearing Rita says bow? (i talk as if anything other than HA? is an option) What if Rita didn’t suggest bow, but Yanma just assigned them that because it fits that stick-in-the-mud?

Body swap resolution: Yanma wants to train his body but doesn't know where to start. I mean, he can't ask Rita of course. But if anyone can keep a secret, it's them. Oh of course he doesn't have to go that far and outright get humiliated again, so he has to phrase it like picking a fight. Rita is down anytime to "convince" Yanma Gast so they didn't really register it as a one either. (re: Erica saying arguing is the proof that this two are "friends")

Yanma's arrest:

Yanma's hair got fried blond because of his ultracomputer

N'kosopa mass protest + boast rally that conversely proved Yanma is the culprit

nobody remembers to hire Yanma a lawyer

a particular loud shriek when Gokkan's power black out (lucky for yanma it's summer i.e. long day)

Morfonia and her unsaved files

Yanma's sentence include improving Gokkan TV/Internet reception as community service

Jeramie using the "boys will be boys"/"he's just a kid" defence as Yanma's Grand-Master to mask he secretly contributed here and there

+ power blackout doesn't really affect the bugnarok because they're underground and only beginning to build a power system with Gira and Shugoddom's help

Shugoddom's historic gas lamps!

Himeno breaking down Yanma's door because "if not for my hospitals all equipped with the best backup power!" (solar/wind energy), and that she can't curl her hair that morning.

Kaguragi turned it into a campfire story night/community event somehow

Yanma's trial day is the day Gokkan's immigration and tourism board has to overwork for the first time.

Shiokara and hacker gang arguing for visitation rights. homemade bento

does yanma sentence last for more than two years if he says prison break is an additional charge?

Gira tried negotiations but he knew he isn't being fair and backed down quickly with a Rita stare

Yanma got dragged away with Papi-chan helicopter style, he's yelling at Tonbo to put in a good word for for his buddy and Papi-chan ignore him lol

CHARACTER ANALYSIS

They have two key words: past/present and secrets.

the thing with wings is, they somehow sparked in each other another side. (i.e. they drive each other crazy, and they are the only ones that can do that to the other) But then they spring back like nothing next day like children on the playground.

On a level, these two are actually very similar in terms of being analytical and practical. Yet their conflict comes from attacking problems from opposite angles. Rita represents the past and Yanma the future. Rita will collect evidence and review history while Yanma focuses on what's already in hand and invents something new. I said that right, but in a way Rita is forward-facing when they never let any childhood trauma stay a trauma or haunt them; Yanma is nostalgic based on his antique/physical media collection.

You may say it's partly recognition of the self. That's why they are only antagonistic 80% of the time.

(hc territory) They ended up doing the same thing/making the same choice ouf of completely different reasons. They are more similar than they think they are but no one can name what/why (not even me).

Yanma Gast 100% knew about Moffun but he kept his mouth shut in ep11. He (should) never told anyone about what Rita did in the underworld. I'm lying to myself he trusted the judge won't do something they didn't deem necessary so he turned away in 38.

Rita holds grudges. Yanma Gast is the source of their headache since he stole Gira and kick-started the story. Sometimes they don't get how such an obnoxious person is so popular. But Rita guesses, he's dependable when it's important. Not a very skilled fighter but he's not dumb. At least they can count on him not to intervene if they make it clear they are making a move.

the movie scene: No spoilers, but, I just think that’s a really nice scene to that established how different Yanma and Rita are while providing a base for reconciliation following their argument in 19. Neither of them are acting like their usual self. I don’t mean they are ooc, but you see them perform different than everyday under an unknown situation.

#JUST SO YOU KNOW WHEN YUZUKI MOVED TO THE SIDE TO GIVE WAY TO N'KOSOPA TEAM BUT WATANABE AOTO #PUT HIS ARM AROUND RITA'S SHOULDER AND DRAG THEM INTO THE OP DANCE LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE!! #and 724 tiktok where Yanma says it's okay if Rita would rather enjoy the movie alone #and Rita smiles and Yanma is shocked 'why are you telling me this' 'because no one will ever believe you'.jpg #kingohger #team wings #kingoh hcs #moffsages #long post #2311291724 #hi anon this is very messy and frankly it took me 2 days because i don't exactly have that much situational headcanons for them #and i basically combed my whole n'kosopa and gokkan backstroy before I can reach something meaningful for them #and now i typed it out it feels like i haven't paid enough attention to their future #i'll look to correct that in coming days #also I assumed you ewnt through my wings tag so I try not to repeat here

[wwxlwj19]

DID I REALLY JUST HEAR

kazuki "personal space who?" kurusu

and rei "we 3 share a bond stronger than blood" suwa

SAY THESE?!!!

#i'm just gonna assume they were intentionally being annoying to irritate miri #cuz otherwise i won't be ABLE TO HANDLE IT #LIKE NO GIVE ME REI PUTTING HIS ARM AROUND KAZUKI WITH NO HESITATION #GIVE ME KAZUKI SMIRKING AT HIM AND PUTTING HIS OWN ARM AROUND REI AFTERWARDS #anyways some parts of the time skip didn't sit right with me #it just felt like rei and kazuki kinda regressed to their old selves (except rei's smile fjdnd) #not to mention THAT randomly thrown line #still loved that we got the time skip tho #our fam just living next to the sea and running a diner *cries in domestic* #buddy daddies

[aroace-polyshow]

oh speaking of hw btw. you remember rui’s whole “thank you for giving me the chance to change” thing towards tsukasa….….hw tsukasa being the one to give hw a second chance……idk they’re all convinced they’re hopeless and then this stupid star persuades them enough to join him and ghrdsgfygfndfnshansdngyhgsadfn

#mono’s stuff #hollow ☆ wonderland #listen like. like #tsukasa has the same dream that emu did to make people smile #tsukasa wants to make people smile with emu #tsukasa doesn’t think of her as childish or naive for wanting that #if emu’s a fool then so is he but he wants to do it with her #tsukasa who knows what its like to be burned by what he was pursuing encouraging nene to try #like he’s sure she wants this just as much as he does and he has faith in her ability to find that courage again #and idk idkkk the way he makes rui feel wanted #he likes rui’s’ ideas he wants rui there #rui isn’t obligated to join if he doesn’t want to but god tsukasa genuinely wants him there with the rest of them #rui is wanted…. #do you hear me #am i making any sense here #tsukasa who gives some light to these horribly sad kids lives and in turn they love him for it #and when his light dims they don’t think of him any less they just want to help him shine as well #DOES THSI MAKE ANY SENSE

[very-odd-resistance]

My part of the Oddworld Festive flashmob from OWI. Couldn’t ignore the invitation to it so I did this in a very short period of time.

Haven’t experienced the christmas mood and had hot chocolate in ages, but at least let that Abe guy have some, he deserved it.

#his smile gives me the will to live #oddworld #oddtumblr #mudokon #Abe #oddworld Abe

[inafieldofdaisies]

Far Cry 5 (2018) | Replay in 2023 | Scenery appreciation (vol. 24) | Rae-Rae's Pumpkin Farm (interior)

#am i going to make the “John taking pictures with his face on every TV in the region” a thing... probably #i love the vibe of the tv broadcast at night at Rae-Rae's <3 #the reflections; cozy lighting; set-up = chef's kiss #also; the way I wanted to do a shot with him sitting on that couch...ugh Ubi; give me poses ffs #i forever live for the goofy smile; makes me laugh every damn time; proud goblin #the Eden's Gate truck in the window was so unplanned; but the irony and how it pops out in the image :D #fc5 revisited #fc5 #far cry 5 #john seed #fc5 fandom #far cry 5 fandom #photomode #virtual photography #photography #far cry photomode #ps4 photomode #gaming #myedits #videogames #currently playing #hope county #scenery #fc5 photomode #my screenshots #digital photography #holland valley #boomer

[kanene-yaaay]

The v cool @carrie-tate ​asked about my tickle headcanons of Teruki (EVERYONE HERE SUSH IT’S <3 <3 h i m <3) in This Asky because of This Post and I shall answer because Teru is one of the most interesting and fun charaters to me so! Let’s gooo!!

🦁 Teru’s Headcanons 🦁

(Teru's new hair reminds me of a lion cub so that is the emoji of today VWHGWYWGW)

He is just so *incoherente noises*. This guy has just so much Vibes I can’t take it

Tickling someone? YES. Being tickled? Absolutely yes. He is perfect for everything and that is a fact.

First of all, Teruki is a hell of a ler. Not only because he knows how to look for sweet weak tickle spots and has teases dripping freely from his lips before the person can even realize what is happening, his attentive eyes actively searching for everything that makes the bean that is being tickled flustered and giggly and just latching on those things until the person is lost admist laughter and tickly tingles.

(Mob lost the count of the amount of times Teru would manage to make him squeal tickling spots that he isn’t even aware he was ticklish in the first place)

But, anyway, he is one of the biggest lers ever because he. is. so. smug.

He is very good at making people a mess of giggles and he knows that. And he knows that you know that he knows that. So, the entire time attacking someone with clawing fingers and distracting pokes he will just have That Smile. The Smile. The Smug, Teasy, Playful smile that automatically makes shivers run across the your spine and makes giggles bounce on your throat.

He doesn’t have a very good poker face because of that, btw. Mah boy can’t pretend that he didn’t realzie he was tickling someone by accident or feigning innocence for his LIFE

Teru doesn’t do a lot of antecipation too. He is more of a:

            “Hmm. I think I am going to tickle you.”

            “Wha-”

And then give the person no time to process his words or run away sdfghgfdsdfg

EXCEPT when it comes to Shigeo. Because he is extremely cute trying to not titter and yelp every time Teru decides to tease him w anttecipation by lightly - very, very lightly - skittering his fingers on his torso and wondering out loud about “What tickle spot should he gave his especial attention today?~’

Talking about cute and soft things, Teru is an absolute SOFTIE. Yes, he is an evil, teasy, smug, playful and meanie ler who can and will use all his tickly power (both metaphorically and literally because no, he is not above using his powers to help him tickle someone sdfghjhgf) but he is WEAK for cute things. He will forever deny it but making someone just... laugh is very nice. It’s fun. It feels like he is able to make something important, to impact someone’s live positively even without his powers.

Now, now, talking about adorable things, don’t even get me started on Teruki as a Lee. Because ohhh gosh.

Oooohhh gosh

Before everything I 100% agree with your Teru’s in a Lee Mood headcanons and they are *chef kiss* fabulous, perfection, incredible absolutely amazing.

Now picture with me: Mob in a Ler Mood and being too shy to do something about it and Teru realizing. And he wants Mob to loosen up a bit more! He wants him to just feel free to be playful and silly with no worries

So he decides to be a gremlin.

Teru will act a bit like the way he is when in a Lee Mood, but with less embarassement. He will be stretching all the time, wearing crop tops and asking for Mob’s opinion, tapping his own fingers on his stomach or sides, laying on Shigeo’s lap and putting his hands behind his head, sometimes even giving Shigeo a poke or two to show he would be okay w a tickle fight in that moment.

And then Mob (and here I am heavily LOOKING at Otomiya’s idea of Mob tickly “”power”” building up until 100%) will finally attack and Teru IMMEDIATELY will go from a grinning come-on-tickle-me-I-dare-you to NONONONOWAITWAITPLEASEPLEASEWAIT in like half of a second.

That man can’t take what he dishes out AT ALL. If someone gives him a single one (1) jab on his side and he is falling on the floor he is smiling like crazy he is pleading for mercy he is ded.

Maybe it’s because he was so used to being feared and looked upon during his entire life before his fight with Shiego but the idea of someone being silly? Tickling him and being teasy and having fun and paying attention to him and not his powers his reactions and smiling and caring makes him very, very, veeeery flustered. And extremely giddy. And at least 100% more ticklish because holy gosh-

99,9% of the times he is tickled he was almost sure he was melting and honestly by the awed way Shigeo looks at him when he is tickling the blonde maybe that is still a possibilty SDFGHJKMJNHB

He has ticklish elbows. Mob can tap-tap his way from his wrist to his elbows and he will giggle and snort his head out. Sorry that is the true I don’t make the rules.

#I don't know if he actively interacts with more main characters than mob on the 3 season but I do hope so because he is <3 <3 so cool <3 #smug lil softie bastard #I can and I will be giving every character from Mp100 at least one (1) uncommon tickle spot #Shigeo is cheeks #Teru is elbows #Shou gives me the vibes of someone w v ticklish calves #and Ritsu is his cheeks AND his shoulderblades #Sorry sorry I don't make the rules this is canon now <3 #SDFGHJKJHGF I'm kiddinggg #Ticklish!Teruki #Switch!Teru #MP100 tickles #MP100 tickling #MP100 tickle headcanons #one day I will be brave enough to try to write Reigen that day unfortunately is not today because !!!!! YOUR PERSONALITY IS SO COMPLEX OMG! #Don't get me wrong everyone is complex in Mob but Reigen is SO UNIQUE. I don't remember writing fanfic w someone who acts a bit like him #anyway living and learning I guess dfghjkjhhgfdsrt #Mob pyscho 100 tickles #Mob pyscho 100 tickling #I WAS GOING TO LOOK FOR A GIF OF HIM SMILING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT OH MY GOSH THERE SO.SO.SOOOO MUCH.SPOILERS.OHMYGOSH.

[oatbugs]

. anyway after writing the tags 4 this post i told my research partner i will no longer follow his dreams lmao. still helping w it but i need to engage in research that i find satisfying

#i think ive been waiting for something for a while and i will spend the next year waiting for it too #i thought i felt panic but i have decided to read it as anticipation. the thrill of rejection or of moving forward or the latter as #a result of the former. i left you with your backpack unattended in the cafe because on fridays i am done #putting my life on hold for another whim-without-a-warning #this cross country service is delayed by 26 minutes so i will grab a bucket and start shovelling the water away from the tracks #everyone is moving on in some different way and im sorry if you think im mean for telling you getting so drunk will disable you from #recording your brainwaves effectively but it seems like you think i owe you an awful lot. one year ago in four days my friend got me hegel's #science of logic for my birthday and i thanked him for proving to me the existence of things this is what i do he said #and then he will spend the rest of his life breathing philosophy and i dont want to spend the rest of my life #breathing someone elses dreams i wait for the moment of realisation. this is now a 30 minute delay. i was supposed to worship beautiful #things and that is what i will do. i think i have a best friend and i know i have a lover and i know to #restrict my love the way you have. im sorry. i hope you understand when i tell you. i am now sitting on the floor in the luggage section of #this incredibly busy train and i saw a photo of her with her boyfriend and her hair in braids smiling like a fool this is the #except a week ago you told me you almost took too much this time to live. you are a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul and you know you #have already changed the world and it somehow was not enough. now you are smiling without any makeup on next to him #and yesterday you cried in an airport in the states when you were too full of love. this is the most extraordinary human being i have met. #tomorrow he heads off to princeton while his best friend heads to harvard. he goes there to make the world a better place. he is the most #extraordinary person i have ever met. the issue with human beings is that we are incredibly good at almost dying and keeping going. #you try to kill yourself and publish a paper and give a talk. you negotiate the seperation between your own parents and submit another #phd application. i am surrounded by extraordinary people with extraordinary minds and incredibly broken happy hearts. #i only see you smile when you talk about robotics. i still dont know how manifolds work and i love the concept anyway. i dont know. #i do know that i refuse to live unsatisfied. #you can keep drinking. im going to drink this reality up #i think i was a horrible person and i refuse to engage with that mentality again no matter what it takes.

[acaesic]

i really want to finish all my unfinished art before i turn 15 but im so burnt out rn 😭 </3

#i have two days #including this one #i wanna draw #but also i fucking hate drawing #but i love drawing but i HAT EIT AND ITS THE WORST AAAAAUUGGGHHHHHHHHH #mostly because i just wanna feel like less of a failure in some way #art for me is about 50% passion and 50% a crippling desire to prove that im not useless and an idiot #so because of the lack of stability there i always end up with a dozen unfinished art projects #when i cant live up to my own expectations i give up #i think this is me still clinging to my childhood in a way #i always wanted to be a child prodigy but i never had talent or skill in anything #so now that im rapidly getting further and further from childhood i feel a desperate need to prove that im not worthless #its like #my 15th birthday feels to me like how jonathan larson did about his 30th. is that fucked up to say .. #aaaaaaaaaaa :’) i want to finish all the art i promised but i genuinely just. cant #chase said something alright #sigh. i have ideas #im plagued with visions but i have none of the time #i want to draw patrick and pete #i want to draw the cast of community all smiling and stuff. because i love and adore all of them #id like to finish my vampire dallon art but im So Bad at shading without reference #i so desperately want to just share my art and feel okay but I CANT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHH #IVE MADE SO MANY EMPTY PROMISES ABOUT FINISHING ART AND SHARING ART AND AND AND FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #someone tell me im not useless #<- dont do that im responsible for my own happiness #anyway UM. sorry if you opened this #you know what. in spite of everything i didnt do at least um. uhhhhhhhh #i won a 3ft tall shadow the hedgehog plushie at a carnival.

[hollowsart]

catch-all replied to your post:

Kakdhajvrbd Mysterio holding a dirty dish tray is hilarious! Love your spidersona and the rogues gallery designs!!!

aw thank you so much!

I’m really proud of those two panels LOL villains doing mundane everyday domestic things is something that can be so personal <3

#Ghostie mumbles #we need more of this in superhero media I think. really humanize some of the villains in other ways. give them lives outside the villainy #give them mundane civilian jobs to hide their identities from the public. I mean would you really suspect your waiter of being mysterio? #the waiter who works at the local diner? or would you really think the old man with a cane browsing the small local electronics store-- #--is the vulture? the one who talks to the cashier about his granddaughter with a smile as he makes his purchase of some screws and wires? #let them make a living earning money in an honest way besides petty bank robbery!! I want so bad to see more casual lives of the villains!! #give me slice of life but with the villains. I would eat that stuff up so fast.

[i-me-mine]

How many photos of Joseph Quinn / Eddie Munson you got on your phone?

#he already gave us so much content but I want more #looking forward to the next cons #and for his next works #he deserves the world #his smile is contagious #he gives me feelings i can't explain #he lives in my mind rent free #i love him your honor #joseph quinn #Eddie munson