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#his thumb slowly tracking along Charlie’s cheek is sending me
insiemes · 2 years
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not me focusing on how gentle nicks hands are as he cradles Charlie’s face 🥺
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whumpasaurus101 · 10 months
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Charlie- Chapter 4
i havent posted in.. a W H I L E- SO enjoy my lil charlie bean cause he's been given his lil rest, now its pain time <3
Cw: Pistol whipping / slight grief / creepy whumper
previous
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A sharp pain exploding in his temple finally woke Charlie up from his unconscious sleep. He let out a cry, his hands flying to his head as he let out a small groan.
It took him a good half hour to stand up and move into the bathroom. His legs shook as he slowly lowered himself onto the edge of the bathtub, gently running the antiseptic wipe along his skin. The pain.was.exruciating. By the end of it all, Charlie was sobbing crying. He missed Teddy. He wanted Teddy to look after his wounds. He wanted him to cook him dinner, to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay.
He bit down hard onto his hand, trying to muffle the next sob. Get over it get over it get over it-
He fished out some rolls of bandage and carefully wrapped the soft cotton around his knees.
“I suggest you get the fuck out of this town- even country, Char Char, it’s not safe for you,” 
Those words echoed through Charlie’s head. At this point, he felt like he had no other choice but to leave. The men’s constant ‘visits’ pretty much showed Charlie how serious they were about it. But where the hell was he going to go? He had nobody who could take him in. 
Just then, there was a loud bang on the apartment door. Charlie sighed before slowly standing up, wincing as he got to his feet. As he entered the hall, he saw a piece of paper which had been slid underneath the door. Charlie’s eyebrows furrowed before he bent down and picked it up, making his way to the kitchen as he slowly unfolded it. He instantly stopped in his tracks, his eyes skimming over the words;
Leave by midnight, before you join Teddy.
Dread dripped in Charlie’s stomach, a sharp pain exploding in his temple. His hand shot out to grip onto the countertop. What would Teddy do?
He needed to get out of here, and fast. Charlie checked his watch, he had less than ten hours, better make it last. He looked around the apartment, tears filling his eyes;
“I don’t want to go to school! The other kids are meannn!”
Teddy chuckled, lifting Charlie up so he sat on the kitchen counter, legs swinging, “Well then you just got to be mean back to them, hm? Don't you remember what I told you?”
“Jab, jab, righthook, swingkick repeat!” Charlie giggled. Teddy beamed and ruffled the kid’s hair, “Exactly! You do that and I promise those punks will leave you alone.”
The kid’s eyes sparkled as he looked up at his older brother, “And…wh-what if they don't?” Teddy leant over and cupped his brother’s cheek, smiling brightly brushing his thumb along his cheekbone, “Then you come to me and I’ll sort them out.” The kid smiled brightly, clapping his hands before sighing, “I wish I was as cool like you, someday I will be!!!” Teddy’s smile quivered slightly, “No kid, you don't want this life…” His smile instantly came back as he clapped, distracting Charlie, “Now, let's make some cookies!!!”
Teddy was right, Charlie didn’t want this life, not in the slightest. He quickly wiped a tear with his sleeve, taking a shallow breath, “No use dwelling on the past,” He muttered, quickly pushing down any memories of this place. For now, he was in a shell. An empty cracked shell. A shell of himself-
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He had only managed to step ten steps outside of his apartment before he was quickly knocked to the ground with a right hook. He groaned, curling in on himself before slowly opening his his, “Wh-what the fuck?”
“Grab his backpack, Carlos ordered, Marco complying immediately. Charlie clutched onto his backpack tightly, wrapping the straps tight around his hands, “He-hey no! You can’t just do that!” Marco yanked on the bag as hard as he could but Charlie kept his tight grip. That was until the heavy weight of a gun was pressed to the side of Charlie’s head. He froze.
A warm breath cascaded along his ear, sending a shiver down his spine. “Let go of the bag, Char Char.” Charlie was trembling. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came. His eyes darted to meet Carlos’ cold face. His eyebrow raised and instantly Charlie let go.
Carlos smirked, not moving the gun just yet as he ruffled Charlie’s hair, “Good boy! See what happens when you just comply?” If Charlie wasn’t trembling for dear life right now, he would’ve given him the biggest eyeroll.
“Clothes, snacks, sketchpad, matchsticks, switchblade-” Marco sighed, tossing Charlie’s belongings onto the pavement. Charlie scrambled to sit up but his attempts were soon cut off as Carlos slammed the gun hard across Charlie’s face, “Ah, ah, ah, not so fast darlin’,” Carlos smirked, dragging the cold muzzle of the gun along Charlie’s face, making the other cringe back, “What’s a pretty boy like you doing with a switchblade, hm?” 
Charlie whimpered, his voice completely lost. His eyes raised to the gun, his head pounding before he spoke, eyes meeting Carlos, “You…You said I ha-ad till midnight. ‘m t-two hours early…”
Carlos chuckled, “Oh yes yes, but you see, we weren't just going to let you off and running without us saying our farewells!!!�� Charlie squeezed his eyes shut, “Ple-please…You’ve done enough.” Carlos let out a laugh before leaning in nice and close, “Oh baby… we’ve only just started…”
---
Taglist: @scribbelle @hold-back-on-the-comfort @shameless-dumbass @thelazywitchphotographer LMK IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED OR REMOVED <3
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lifeofkaze · 3 years
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An Art of Balance #30
Orion Amari x MC
A/N: Lovely Julian Bennett belongs to the even more lovely @slytherindisaster
Word Count: ~ 4.000
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Chapter 30: Making Amends
The conversations with Orion and Skye kept gnawing at Lizzie over the next few days. In their own ways, both of them had made it clear to her how important it was to get back on track; not only for herself, but for the general good of their team as well.
Thinking about what they had said, Lizzie realised how much of an open door they had been pushing; there was nothing she wanted more than things to return to their normal state, so she could have all of her friends back. And if making amends would help increase her performance, all the better.
There wasn’t much she could do about either Rowan or Orion at this point, so Lizzie had started thinking about how to get back into Charlie's good books.
Skye had suggested a gesture of goodwill to make him listen to her and after contemplating her advice for a few days, an idea had started to form in Lizzie’s mind.
After sending a few owls back and forth, she now found herself in the hallway of the Eastern Tower. She had been standing in front of the portrait hole hiding the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room for quite some time now, engaged in a heated discussion with the Fat Lady, the occupant of the picture guarding the portrait hole.
“I really don’t see the problem,” Lizzie rolled her eyes; she had forgotten just how many times she had done this in the last half hour. “I don’t even know if he’s in. Can’t you just go inside and have a look? Or ask another portrait for all that it’s worth?”
The Fat Lady huffed indignantly, fluffing herself up to an even greater volume than she held anyway. “And leave my post unguarded? No way, young lady. I still don’t understand what a Hufflepuff is doing here in the first place.”
She gestured at Lizzie’s attire dismissively. It was the evening before the match and the pre-match party was scheduled to start immediately after dinner. Lizzie was already dressed in her yellow jersey from last season and a black letterman jacket bearing her name and number on the back; it had been a combined birthday gift from her friends back in November.
Lizzie buried her hands in the pocket of her jacket now, feeling the rough parchment of the letter she was carrying. “I told you, I’m looking for Charlie.”
“From what I hear, you have a match against my House tomorrow,” the Fat Lady squinted down at her suspiciously, “you have no business here.”
“Your House?” Lizzie asked with an amused undertone. “You’re a portrait, you are just guarding the entrance.”
“Careful missy,” the portrait puffed and slung her pink feather boa over her shoulder; it made her look like an inflated bird of paradise. “I’ve guarded this Common Room a lot longer than you are around; these are basically my children!”
Knowing that a fight wouldn’t help her much, Lizzie hung her head and sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way,” she tried a different approach. “I really just want to apologise to my friend.”
Lizzie pinched the bridge of her nose; this was taking a lot longer than she had anticipated. The sound of approaching footsteps caught her attention; Percy was walking down the corridor towards them, his arms stacked with way more books than what looked comfortable to carry.
“What are you doing here?” he barked at her haughtily; Lizzie had to stifle a laugh at the show the little boy she’d known for ages by now was putting on. He had always been a little bit more stuck up than his brothers, but this new persona he was putting on since coming to Hogwarts certainly wasn’t the most pleasant one.
“Hey Perce,” she greeted him sardonically. “You’ve been to the library?”
“I asked you a question,” Percy insisted. The way he was acting up was too comical for Lizzie not to chuckle; angry red spots appeared on the boy’s pale cheeks.
“This is the Gryffindor Common Room,” he pointed out unnecessarily. “Last time I looked, the Hufflepuff Common Room was down in the dungeons.”
Shaking her head, Lizzie rolled her eyes at Percy. “You don’t say, Percy. Do you know if Charlie’s in there?” She pointed her thumb towards the entrance.
Percy sniffled at being laughed at by her. “No, I don’t know if my brother is in the Common Room.”
Slowly but surely, Lizzie was getting annoyed by the constant delay. “Well, could you go and have a look please?”
“What business do you have with him anyway? I don’t think he wants to talk to you.”
Lizzie crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at Charlie’s younger brother. “Don’t you think that’s best for him to decide?”
Percy opened his mouth to shoot back but got cut off by the familiar figure of Julian Bennett approaching them. The Gryffindor Beater raised his eyebrows at the unusual gathering in front of him.
“Hey, Lizzie,” he greeted her with a pat on the back. “I didn’t expect to see you here; isn’t the pre-match party going down soon?”
Julian’s casual demeanour felt awkward to Lizzie; they hadn’t really talked to each other since her falling out with Charlie, but she was glad for it all the same. It was nice to see a friendly face that was wearing crimson-and-gold for a change.
“Julian, thank Godric you’re here; finally someone with a bit of sense.” Her eyes were shooting daggers at Percy, who shuffled his feet uncomfortably. “I’ve been looking for Charlie for some time now; do you know where he is?”
“What do you want from him?”
“There’s some things I wanted to get out of the way before tomorrow.” She ran her finger along the edge of the letter in her pocket.
Julian nodded. “I see; let me see if I can round him up.”
He turned to the Fat Lady. “Gryphon,” he told her the password, much to the dismay of Percy. But Julian simply ignored his complaints and vanished behind the portrait.
“Was that so hard?” Lizzie couldn’t help but mutter under her breath.
Only a few moments later, the portrait swung aside again and Julian emerged with a scowling Charlie in tow.
Still miffed at the situation, Percy made no move to leave, so Julian simply shoved him back into the Common Room to give Lizzie and Charlie some space.
When they were alone, Charlie looked her up and down dismissively. He raised his chin defiantly. “What do you want?”
Lizzie glanced at the portrait of the Fat Lady, who seemed to be awfully interested in her fingernails all of a sudden. “Could we go someplace more private?”
But Charlie merely crossed his arms in front of his chest. “No,” he brushed her off brusquely. “Listen, I’ve got to prepare for tomorrow; say what you came to say or leave me alone.”
Lizzie tried not to be discouraged by his resentment; she couldn’t even blame him for it. If she were in his place, she probably would have acted the same way.
“Tomorrow is what I want to talk to you about, in a way,” she sighed, inherently hoping he would listen to her apology. “We’ve never faced each other on the pitch while fighting, we were always seeing eye to eye. I don’t want to start this now.”
Charlie’s arms were still crossed but Lizzie could see a bit of tension leave his shoulders; maybe there was a bit of hope to set things right.
“So?”
She drew a deep breath. “I know I acted like a total idiot and I want to apologise; I should never have doubted you and your intentions and it was very wrong of me to lash out at you for trying to cheer me up when I didn’t even tell you how upset I really was. I was hurt and confused and none of this is your fault and for the record, I’d happily play with all of the magical creatures for the rest of our time here with you because without you, it’s not the same.”
The words had stumbled out of her mouth in a quick rush without giving her the opportunity to breathe in between her sentences; she was too afraid to forget something.
After she was done, Charlie just stood there with an unmoving expression on his face. The longer he didn’t say anything, the more scared Lizzie got that he wouldn’t accept her apology.
But then, the smallest of smiles tugged at Charlie’s lips. “Did you rehearse that?”
Lizzie blushed slightly as relief that he didn’t dismiss her right away washed over her. “Maybe,” she admitted sheepishly. “Listen, Charlie, I’m sorry for how I behaved; I miss you. I miss spending time with you, I miss all your random dragon facts you’re throwing at me and I miss you setting my head straight when I need you to. I don’t want to go out and play against you tomorrow when we can’t look each other in the eye.”
Charlie’s freckled features went soft at her admission. “I’m sorry, too.”
“I know you’d never use me or my feelings for your own advantage; it was wrong to assume that.”
He inclined his head. “Thank you for saying that.” He looked at her for a moment, contemplating. “I can’t say what I said was a lie, though. You did change a lot this year. But that’s not what rubbed me the wrong way,” he quickly added as she winced.
“What stung was the fact that you were trying to hide these changes,” he explained. “You didn’t trust me enough to be honest with me.”
“I was scared to tell you because you know me better than anyone else does,” Lizzie replied quietly. “I was afraid you’d call me out and tell me all the stuff I didn’t want to hear.”
“Oh, I certainly would have,” Charlie confirmed matter-of-factly.
“Of course you would have,” Lizzie sighed. “Who knows, maybe the outcome would’ve been better if I had been honest with myself in the first place.”
Charlie shrugged. “Maybe, but we’re not going to find out now. What’s done is done; no use fretting over the past, like my mum always says. But in any case, I’m glad you plucked up the courage to acknowledge your mistakes. Perhaps there’s still more of the old Lizzie in there than I thought after all,” he said with a small grin.
It lessened a little as he continued, “Just don’t lie to me again, please. If you can’t even trust your friends, you’re truly in a really bad place.”
Her eyes were serious as she placed her hand on his forearm. “I promise, no more lies; you can trust me, I’m done running from my problems.”
She reached into the pocket of her jacket and procured the letter she had kept hidden. Smoothing the slightly crinkled envelope for a second, she held it out to Charlie.
“See, I even brought you a present.”
Charlie took it from her with a surprised face. He turned the heavy envelope around, raising one eyebrow as he discovered the logo of the Ministry of Magic printed on the back of it.
“What is that?”
“That,” Lizzie grinned broadly, “is my official offer of peace.”
Charlie looked at her sceptically.
“That was Skye’s idea,” Lizzie added with a shrug. “She thought you’d might give me a chance if I bribed you with something nice.”
Charlie shook his head as he broke the red wax seal. “Just when I thought I’d seen it all… “
His voice trailed off as he started reading the contents of the letter. Eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open, he read the letter two more times.
“Is that… “ he started croaking before clearing his throat. “Is that what I think it is?”
Lizzie tried her best not to look smug but she couldn’t help the wide grin that had appeared on her face watching Charlie read the letter.
“It is,” she confirmed. “Fresh from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. It arrived this morning.”
One of the Christmas presents she had gotten from her father this year had been a special one; working for the Ministry, he had gotten wind of an internship place being open with some of the Ministry’s dragonologists; they were supposed to conduct a study on the mating behaviour of Welsh Greens over the summer and were looking for helping hands.
Knowing her interest in Care of Magical Creatures, her father had put her name down without telling her, presenting her with the acceptance letter on Christmas Day.
Lizzie knew she owed her father big time for helping her realise her plan in such a short span of time; he had moved heaven and hell and deployed all of his Ministry contacts to make sure the name on the internship letter had gotten changed.
Charlie was still in a bit of a shock as he looked from the letter to her and back again.
“But this is your internship,” he whispered hoarsely, “you have been talking about this for months. These spots are so rare; are you sure you really want to give it to me?”
Lizzie nodded in confirmation. “Yes, I am. This is my way of saying sorry; and you deserve this spot a thousand times more than I do.” The way she smiled at him was uncharacteristically shy for her somehow. “Besides, after the career advice session I’m not sure I want to go down the magizoologist route anyway.”
“You don’t?”
A blush spread on Lizzie’s face; admitting her career plans out loud for the first time sounded foolish to her ears. “I thought, I might perhaps want to try going for a professional Quidditch career.” She strongly hoped Charlie wouldn’t laugh.
But he only winked at her with an encouraging grin. “As far as I can say, you’d definitely have what it takes, chipmunk.”
As he heard the stupid little nickname leaves his mouth, Lizzie’s mouth curved into a brilliant, hopeful smile. “So you officially accept my apology?”
He waved the letter in her face. “You bet I do. I might even take you out for dinner now.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, making Lizzie giggle.
“Is that so?”
“Yes, I found this amazing new place the other day. It’s called ‘The Great Hall’; it’s usually a bit crowded this time of the day, but I hear they have amazing sandwiches.”
Lizzie felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders as they both started laughing at the same time. All the resentment that had been brewing between them had vanished in an instant and it just felt normal again; it was the best feeling Lizzie could have imagined.
“Do I get a hug now, or what?” Charlie laughed and opened his arms for her.
Without hesitation, Lizzie stepped into them and let herself be enveloped by one of Charlie’s bear hugs she had missed so much.
“Good to have you back,” he whispered against her hair, making her smile broaden until her cheeks hurt.
“Aw, look at the two of you,” the dreamy voice of the Fat Lady, they had completely forgotten about, suddenly broke the atmosphere. “Young love, finally reunited again.”
Charlie let go of Lizzie and they both stared at her reproachfully. “We’re only friends!” they spoke out in perfect unison. Sharing another glance, they both exploded with laughter. Lizzie would say this sentence a thousand times and more if it only meant she had her friend back at her side.
The traces of laughter still hanging onto his face, Charlie stepped towards her and offered her his arm like a gentleman would to his lady; still chuckling, Lizzie took it.
“Now, milady, let’s go get some food.”
*
The Great Hall was already packed with students when they arrived. Lizzie’s arm was still linked with Charlie’s as they were laughing and joking with each like nothing had happened. She could have let go of him, of course, but she just enjoyed being back in his company way too much.
As they entered the Great Hall side by side, Lizzie didn’t fail to notice the whispers and sideways glances they were drawing from several of their peers. Although the rumours had stopped when the frosty atmosphere between them had become public knowledge, they hadn’t been set right either.
But Lizzie chose to ignore the raised eyebrows and scowls directed at them this time around; she straightened her back subconsciously as they walked through the space between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables and let it all wash over her. She was done bothering with what people who didn’t even really know her would think; the ones she cared for knew the truth and that was all that matters. She had been worrying about other people’s opinions far too much these last few weeks.
When they reached where the rest of the Gryffindor team was sitting, Charlie sat down with them, gesturing for her to join them, but Lizzie declined the offer. She was glad their fight was over, but she didn’t want to push her luck; sitting with the players of the opposing team on the evening before the match maybe would have been a bit too much.
“Alright,” he shrugged as he sat down in between his team mates. “See you tomorrow on the pitch then.”
Lizzie smiled broadly. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Let’s see if you still think so after I’ve caught the snitch,” Charlie smirked. “But don’t worry, you can have it afterwards, as a consolation prize.”
The other Gryffindors snickered as Lizzie raised her chin defiantly. “Careful Weasley, pride comes before the fall.” But her eyes were sparkling in anticipation of the challenge.
Leaving the Gryffindor table behind, she walked over to her own House Table. She had seen Penny and Rowan sitting a bit further ahead; Lizzie hadn’t really sat with them during dinner in the last couple of days, especially not without Skye joining them, but her dark haired friend was nowhere to be seen.
Walking up to the two girls, her eyes drifted to the head of the table where Orion was sitting with McNully. She had seen him watching her when she’d entered the Great Hall with Charlie; she knew the fluttery feeling inside her stomach didn’t solely come from the anticipation of tomorrow’s match.
He and Murphy were undoubtedly discussing the last details for tomorrow, but as their eyes met for a split second, Lizzie offered him a small smile. It was gone almost too quickly to see, but she knew he’d caught it by the way the corners of his own mouth curved slightly upwards. He gave her the hint of an acknowledging nod before he turned his attention back on his and Murphy’s tactical discussion.
Lizzie was glad he had encouraged her to make amends with her friends; not only because she wanted them back, but also because it made her feel closer to him again.
She braced herself for the next part; Charlie was done, so now onto the next.
Approaching Rowan and Penny, Lizzie put on a markedly cheerful smile, trying to mask the touch of apprehensiveness she felt at her next task. “May I sit with you?”
Rowan just looked at her silently, her eyes unreadable behind her glasses.
Penny however, immediately moved over to make room for her on the bench. “Sure, go ahead,” she beamed up at her. Inwardly, Lizzie sighed thankfully; at least Penny seemed to be as eager to return to their normal state before the year was done than she was.
“We were just discussing if we might need something else for the pre-match party later,” she explained, pointing to a checklist spread out between their plates. “You’re coming, aren’t you?” she asked somewhat hopefully.
“Of course I am,” Lizzie smiled in return. “I’ve never missed one so far, have I?”
In truth, nothing was further from her mind than attending a party right now; the thought about being in a crowd that was working itself up in their excitement for the season finale made her stomach churn. But in a way, popping in to the pre-match parties had somehow become part of her own pre-match ritual; Lizzie wasn’t really superstitious, but figured this maybe wasn’t the best time to meddle with established routines.
Trying to take her mind off the prospect of the party, she poured herself some pumpkin juice. “Sounds like you’re excited for tomorrow.”
“You bet!” Penny beamed at her. “I can’t wait for the match to start! Hufflepuff is playing for the Cup the second year in a row, it’s time to bring it back where it belongs. Gryffindor is a really tough opponent, though; it will be a tough match, but you’ve trained so hard, I’m sure you’ll come out on top…”
When Penny noticed her rambling, she blushed slightly and shut up. Lizzie watched Rowan from across the table; she had been remarkably silent since Lizzie had joined them.
“What about you, Rowan?” Lizzie asked quietly.
Rowan quickly looked up from her dinner. “What about me?”
“You’re coming to the match, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know yet,” Rowan mumbled evasively, pushing her food around her plate while avoiding Lizzie’s eyes. “The O.W.L.s are so close now and I’ve still got so much more to study and revise.”
But both of them knew, this was only partly true. The two of them had lived in some sort of tentative truce the last couple of weeks, each keeping her distance from the other in a way. But the Quidditch pitch was Lizzie’s terrain; Rowan coming along would be a step back into a normality that Lizzie wasn’t sure they would achieve again; but she sure was hoping so.
“Listen,” she sighed. “I know it’s been weird between us ever since… you know.” Lizzie was struggling for words; she just couldn’t bring herself to actually ‘you caught me and Orion making out’ out loud. It was a thought she’d probably never get used to.
“What I want to say is, it would mean a great deal to me if I knew you’d be there tomorrow. You never missed a single match, you were always there to cheer me on.” She offered Rowan a weak smile. “I’m only half as good without you.”
To her surprise, for the first time in ages, Rowan smiled back at her. “That’s nonsense and you know it; you’ll be brilliant no matter who is watching.”
Lizzie grimaced, but secretly, Rowan’s kind words felt like balm for her soul. “Please don’t try to prove me wrong by not coming.”
“Alright, I’ll be there. But be damned if Gryffindor wins and my precious study turns out to be wasted,” she added with a joking threat.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let you down!” A wide, relieved grin spread on Lizzie’s face; she instantly felt a lot lighter. “Skye and I have been practising some new moves, the lions have no chance at all.”
“Where’s Skye anyway?” Penny now piped up. “I haven’t seen her for some time now; I thought she was with you.”
Lizzie’s brow furrowed. “No, I haven’t seen her since class, why?”
“She got a letter earlier and seemed really rattled while reading it. She went all pale and ran off before I had a chance to ask what’s wrong; no one has seen her since.”
Lizzie didn’t like the sound of that at all. She was nervous enough as it was herself, Skye freaking out at the last minute was the last thing they needed. If she had been missing for quite some time now, there was no way to tell if she had worked herself into one of her states again and Lizzie had the very distinct feeling she should go and check on her friend immediately.
Luckily, she had a very good idea on exactly where to find her.
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thirst-trapnhl · 5 years
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Never Grew Out of This Feeling 2(charlie mcavoy)
(A/N): hi babes! sorry this took sooo long, but i’m so excited to finally put this part out into the world! hope you enjoy! (word count: 2696) (warnings: underage drinking, marijuana use, alcohol as a coping mechanism)
song of the chapter: somewhere in neverland - all time low
“We’ll talk about how your parents separated and how you don’t wanna make the same mistakes as them. I’ll say it’s all about sticking it out and trying to feel forever young.”
Fall comes and goes quicker than expected. Classes at community college keep you busy along with your job waiting tables at the small sushi restaurant a few blocks from your house, where most of your weekends are spent answering the phones and refilling the water cups of teens on their first dates. You spend a too-quick weekend in Boston with the McAvoys in October and when you come home, the aching in your chest takes you by surprise. You thought you’d been doing a good job at not missing Charlie too much, but seeing him only made the reality of life on the island without him hit you twice as hard. 
Seeing him walk through the door of the restaurant the Monday before Thanksgiving sends you into shock. You’re frozen from the second you look up after the bell rings on the door and you see him standing there in a big red BU hoodie and basketball shorts. He laughs at your reaction, head thrown back and all. It shakes you from your shock and you cross your arms in front of you, narrowing your eyes at him. “You dirty little liar! You told me you wouldn’t be home until Wednesday night!” 
He smiles smugly back at you, and takes a menu from the holder attached to the front desk. “It’s called a surprise, Numb Nuts.” He opens the menu and ignores your scoff, scanning the list of rolls as if he doesn’t basically have it memorized at this point. “Do you recommend the Angel roll or the Fashion roll?” You grab the menu from his hand and place it back into its slot. 
“Very rude of you to come in here and harass me at my workplace, and besides, you know I prefer the White Dragon roll.”  Emiko, the owner of the restaurant (and the only other waitress) comes out from the back and greets Charlie with an enthusiastic high-five and sends you home for the night, insisting she can handle closing alone after gesturing to the single table being occupied. 
Charlie slides into the passenger seat of your car and swivels sideways, squaring his shoulders towards you as you scroll through your phone to put music on. He waits patiently until you find what you’re looking for and place your phone down in the cup holder. “I have something to tell you.” You look up at him and you can tell he’s fighting a smile and it makes you a little giddy too. You nod to him, a smile crossing your face that mirrors his. “I think I have a girlfriend.” A big, toothy grin finally splits its way across his face but you can’t manage to match his enthusiasm. 
“Ok, a few things. One, we talk on the phone at least once a week. You didn’t think to mention a GIRLFRIEND? And two, what do you mean you think you have a girlfriend? Did she agree to be your girlfriend or not?” You file the sinking feeling in your gut as a reaction to Charlie keeping secrets, and definitely not anything having to do with the fact that he’s dating someone. Charlie’s dated people before anyway; girls you went to school with or who hung around the local rink, and it never bothered you much. They were always girls you knew, and who knew you, and knew how you and Charlie were with each other. Now, you don’t even know if Charlie’s mentioned you to this new girl, if she even knows your name, and there’s nothing more terrifying. 
“Welllll,” He starts, a faint flush rising in his cheeks. “I didn’t mention it because I didn’t wanna jinx it. You know how I get with girls I like. I didn’t wanna like, mention that I told my family about her and freak her out.” You breathe deeply through your nose, choosing to ignore the way a pang hits your heart when Charlie refers to you as his family. “And I haven’t asked her to be my girlfriend yet, but we’ve been hanging out for like a month and a half. I know I haven’t been seeing anyone else, and honestly, we spend so much time together; I don’t think she has any time to see anyone else either.” You nod your head slowly, attempting to process all the information while saving the feelings for later when you’re alone. “You’re not happy.” It’s not a question. Charlie can read you better than anyone and he sees right through the blank smile you’ve put on to hide your reaction.
You exhale and relax, letting your face fall a little now that you know he isn’t buying it. “It’s not that I’m not happy for you. You know I am. I just worry about you getting your heart broken if I can’t be there to fix it.” The sentiment brings a sincere, if not a little bittersweet, smile to his face and you reckon that’s the best you’ll get from the situation. You finally reverse out of your spot, driving straight to the playground. The ride is mostly silent except for Charlie’s fingers drumming against your dashboard and you both bop along to the old Blink-182 track that comes on next. 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meeting Katrina over Christmas break is fine, really. You can tell that if you’d met in different circumstances, you might get along but you also know how this story goes and it doesn’t end in a new best friend for either of you. You can sense the question on her tongue as soon as Charlie gets up to use the bathroom from the couch where you’re all splayed out watching tv. 
“So, did you guys ever, have you, uh,” You both draw in steadying breaths before she continues. “Tell me about how you and Charlie became friends!” She finally gets it out and you appreciate her trying to put it as delicately as possible. You rest the plastic bowl filled with popcorn and m&ms on the couch and slide into something that more closely resembles how human beings are supposed to sit. 
“Well, we met in kindergarten and we’ve been, uh, like this ever since, I guess.” She presses her lips together and nods slowly, an uncomfortable silence settling over the two of you until Charlie comes crashing back into the room, flopping back into his spot between you. He laces his fingers between Katrina’s and smiles shyly at her before turning his head to face you. 
“Mom’s doing that Italian dressing chicken you like and she’s buying cannoli as we speak. You staying?” You think about declining for a second, wishing you could run from the awkward air in the room. The thought of Charlie’s mom making your favorite dinner and the promise of cannoli keeps you in your seat though and you nod as Charlie flips through the channels again. 
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It’s spring break before you spend any actual time with Charlie again, having survived the first half of spring semester talking over FaceTime every Tuesday and texting almost every day. You’d heard less and less about Katrina as the weeks went on, but every time you asked about her, Charlie just said she was great. You didn’t want to push things. You knew Charlie would tell you details at his own pace and besides, it’s not like you hadn’t been withholding information too. 
Your dates with Brendan had been nice. The older brother of a girl you and Charlie had graduated with, he’d followed you on Instagram sometime in January. He’d replied to a story of yours and after a month of casual conversation, you’d agreed to meet him for dinner. It had been really casual, just an early dinner at the burrito place by your work that turned into a walk on the boardwalk and an ice cream cone from your favorite local soft serve place. He was just a nice guy, polite and good at keeping conversation. He wasn’t insanely funny or anything, but your dates were always light and casual and he made you feel comfortable right away. You’d kissed for the first time last week, short and sweet in his car when he dropped you off after taking you to see some comedy about a gymnast. His lips were salty from the popcorn and he texted you as soon as he got home, just like he always did. 
You knew you were going to have to tell Charlie at some point. You just didn’t think it was going to be like, right now. “What could you possibly be doing on a Sunday night that you can’t come watch Jackass on my couch with me?” You twiddle your thumbs, picking at your cuticles a little bit while you find your voice. 
You look into his eyes and know it’s time, so you just exhale heavily and let it out. “Sunday nights are usually when Brendan and I go bowling. With his parents.” Charlie’s face stays blank for a minute before his head tilts a little to the side and his brow furrows in confusion. “I know, I know, I should have said something, I’m sorry! I just didn’t really think it was going to, uh, last this long, honestly.” He still looks a little confused so you stay silent and give him a minute to catch up.
Suddenly, it clicks in his head and his eyes narrow. “Brendan Cotiletta? Like, Mia’s brother?” You nod and put on a small, closed mouth smile. “You are dating Brendan Cotiletta and it’s serious enough that you hang out with his parents?” You nod once more, and your smile begins to fall when you realize Charlie’s still looking at you with a little confusion and a little more concern. It’s then that he sees the worry on your face and he takes a deep breath before putting a hand on your arm. “If you’re happy, I’m happy. Just keep an eye on him. I’m sure he’s grown up since the last I heard, but the last things I heard about him weren’t great. Okay?” 
You spend your Sunday with Brendan as planned, explaining to him that the rest of your week would be spent with Charlie and his family. He took it well, not weirded out at all. No suspicious looks, no sly comments about how close you and Charlie were. Really, it went better than you could have hoped for, which should have been your first clue that something was going to go wrong. You and Charlie spend your Friday night baking cupcakes (that are certainly not on the team-recommended diet) and watching Jersey Shore reruns. The episode with the infamous Note is on, and during a commercial break you go to check your phone. You almost tap right past it, Brendan’s best friend’s Snapchat story until something catches your eye in the background of the video. Brendan being pulled on to the dance floor of the bar by a skinny blonde is concerning, but not something to have a meltdown over. The meltdown comes when you’re finally able to place her face. Olivia, Brendan’s high school sweetheart, had broken his heart when she’d run off to some college upstate and met a guy from the Hamptons with a blow problem.  He’d never really recovered, obvious in the way he avoided saying her name at any cost, even in casual conversation. You watch the Snapchat again and again and it doesn’t get any easier. Charlie sinks down on the couch next to you and you almost go to turn the TV off to show him. You can see through your peripheral that he’s texting Katrina, the string of emojis after her name catching your eye. You take another moment to watch him smiling as he types out his reply and the only thing you can bring yourself to do is click the lock button on your phone and return your attention to Snooki and Jwoww. 
The weekend after Charlie leaves, Brendan asks to come over on Saturday morning and you know exactly why. He tries to break it to you as gently as possible, at least. He tells you how sorry he is, how you did absolutely nothing wrong, it’s just that Olivia is his person. It’s bittersweet to hear, sad to end something that was fun and lighthearted, but you can’t be anything but happy for him that he’s got this opportunity to be so truly happy. You tell him exactly that, adding “It makes me hopeful that I’ll find that one day, my person, whoever it is.” He smiles a little at that and shakes his head before giving you a final hug. 
“I’m sure your person is closer than you think.”
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Katrina breaks up with Charlie when she finds out you were invited to the draft and she wasn’t. It’s a shame, you think to yourself, that she wasted all those months pretending to be cool about how close you and Charlie are. She seems to be forgotten about as quickly as she arrived, mostly just swept away in all the excitement. It’s truly a whirlwind weekend. From the second your mom drops you and the McAvoys off at the airport, Charlie is buzzing. His leg bounces the entire 90 minute flight and he opens his complimentary bag of pretzels but doesn’t eat a single one. During the draft, a quiet tension settles over all of you, waiting with bated breath until Charlie’s name is called. You try not to let it cross your mind, that the second Charlie gets drafted is the beginning of the end. 
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The weeks post-draft are spent just like all your summers before: mornings in the waves and afternoons napping on the sand, nights spent sat around a fire with your friends. The only difference is that Charlie’s managed to keep his drinking and smoking to a minimum, convinced that the only thing that could hold him back from making an NHL roster are a spliff and a rack of Bud Light platinums. Secretly, you might agree, so you pretend not to notice Charlie’s look of concern every time he realizes you’re drinking more heavily than ever. It’s easy when you’re like this, warm and loose from the beer and Charlie’s hand on your back guiding you home, to convince yourself nothing will change.
Somewhere around the middle of July, you’re curled into Charlie’s side on the hammock in a friend’s yard and you’re not sure how much more wear and tear your body can take from partying. You know Charlie notices it too; the circles under your eyes, the littering of bruises and scrapes on your body from god knows what. You’re running yourself ragged and you can’t bring yourself to even try to hide it. You feel him shift underneath you to get a better look at your face, but you’re not ready to look up at him quite yet. 
“Hey, bub,” he starts, quiet enough to ensure that no one else is listening in. You still can’t bring yourself to meet his eyes, knowing you won’t be able to hold in the word vomit once it starts. You reply with a “mhm?” instead, eyes glued to the wooden fence next to you. He clears his throat before speaking again and you can feel his fingertips flex into your ribs a little. “You know you can tell me anything, right? Like whatevers, uh, happening, however you’re feeling, all I wanna do is help.” The statement lights up your whole chest and you feel, honestly, kind of stupid for thinking you couldn’t bring something up to Charlie. He knew you, your anxiety and your fear and your cynicism, and nothing had ever sent him running before. 
“Don’t wanna think ‘bout you leavin’... can’t lose you,” you mumble, cheek squished against his chest. He squeezes you a little harder at that, laying his face against the top of your forehead. A few minutes pass in silence between you while the party continues across the yard. He kisses the top of your head, letting himself take in the scent of smoke in your hair. 
“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”
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lumosinlove · 6 years
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Hey :D would I be able to request something where Remus and Sirius keep denying their feelings for each other until one of them caves during a very heated argument? ❤️
So this is basically the prompt?? It got a little away from me (and a little SMUTTY at the end - not too bad) but I hope you like it anyhow!
Remus couldn’t decide if he liked it when Sirius smoked or not. He liked the way he looked doing it, with the bright embers against his skin and the smoke caging him in. He liked his hands, holding the stick softly, and the hollow of his cheeks. He even didn’t mind the smell. It came to remind him of lazy evenings like this. Peter was gone, James was gone, and it was the two of them in the door. Sirius had one of the windows cracked to let the smoke waft out and the sunset in. It was a warm night, and Sirius’ hair was cut short for the summer, curling over his forehead. His hand cupped the bud every time a wind blew, protecting the small flames and sucking the smoke into his chest to keep the burning alive. He handled that cigarette so gently, his hands and mouth careful and needy of the drug. The fact that it was that little object that was getting that sort of attention was what swayed Remus’ mind from full on loving when Sirius smoked. Careful and needy. Remus sighed and looked away, jealousy disguised as irrational annoyance blooming in his chest.
“What?” Sirius’ words were muffled by the object of annoyance.
Remus kept his eyes on his book, “What?”
Sirius looked over at Remus from the window, taking another drag before saying, “That’s about the third time you’ve sighed.”
Remus raised an eyebrow at the words he wasn’t reading, “So?”
“So, you’re trying to get my attention.”
“Nope. Go back to your smoke.”
Sirius turned his whole body then, set into motion by the dismissive tone. He swung his legs off the windowsill and dropped to the floor, cigarette still between his fingers, “What?”
“I’m reading.”
Sirius stood there, a little across the room, blinking down at where Remus was sunk in the beanbag chair Lily had bought for them from a muggle store. There was sudden tug in his chest, pulling his ribs taught. Maybe it was the letter from home he had received that morning, or the detention that afternoon, but he wasn’t in the mood to be ignored. He felt stupid standing there but he was too riled to turn his back, “What?” Was all he could think to say again, a little harsher.
He watched a muscle in Remus’ jaw twitch, but it finally made their eyes meet, “Nothing. I already said.”
Sirius huffed and Remus actually rolled his eyes, “You’re the one who started this conversation. You were wrong, you can’t huff at me.”
“I’m not—“ Sirius pressed his lips together and turned away, settling back on the window, “Fine.”
When James walked in later and immediately whistled something about the tension in the room, Sirius didn’t say anything, and Remus went down to the common room. Sirius put his cigarette out, and started another, then fell asleep before he could hear Remus come back up to bed.
~
The tightness hadn’t released from Sirius’ chest the entire week, and Sirius was beginning to miss the half pint of air he felt like was constantly absent. Every time he looked at Remus, he wanted, and every time he wanted, he wanted Remus to want too. And every time Remus didn’t, a small part of his lungs stopped working. It was beginning to be a problem; he was wanting quite a lot.
And still, he needed the want like he needed air. He needed Remus around, because with the need replacing air, he required the pull.
“Do you want to study later?” Remus looked up at him with a half grin and Sirius rolled his eyes, “Yes, I said study. I’m failing Charms, you know this.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Remus’ half smile became a full one. And there was the want, tugging the oxygen from his throat. Sirius swallowed the pining instead.
“Meet in the common room?”
Remus nodded, reaching for the pumpkin juice, “Seven.”
~
Seven passed and became seven thirty, which became eight, which became eight thirty. Sirius sat, he waited, and the want mixed with annoyance for long enough that when Remus walked through the door, it was anger.
“Good of you to come.”
Remus had the crease between his brows that only appeared when he was especially worried. His knuckles were white around his bag, “Pads, I’m sorry, McGonagall, she took me into her office and started talking about future career possibilities. You know how they’re springing these meetings on fifth years now—“
“Yeah.” Was all Sirius said, eyes still trained on Remus’ brow, wanting to smooth it, maybe kiss it, wanting wanting wanting, “Okay, it’s fine. I’m tired now though.”
“Oh.” Remus nodded, and threw his stuff down at the table anyway, “Okay. Well, do you wa—“
“What’s going on with you and that bloke from Potions?”
Sirius thanked god for the dark lighting, because he flushed from his ears to his chest, but the thought crossed his mind before he could stop it. Maybe he was with him and not at a meeting. Maybe maybe.
Remus blinked, sitting back in his chair, “What?”
Sirius didn’t have an answer, which annoyed him further, so he re-directed it at Remus and rolled his eyes. It was easier than being jealous, “Nothing. Never mind.”
Remus shook his head, “No, what bloke? Charlie? What the—where did that come from?” Remus’ eyes found Sirius’ hands which had pulled out his pack of smokes, “Can you put those away for two fucking seconds?”
Sirius raised an eyebrow, “What?”
Remus opened his mouth, then closed it, then shrugged one shoulder, “I asked first.”
They sat there, staring at each other, unsure as to what exactly the question had been.
“The blonde one.” Sirius said finally, then, “You’ve never minded me smoking before.”
“I don’t mind.” Remus said too quickly. And it was true, he didn’t, what he minded was the long fingers wrapping around the cigarette and the lips and the hollowed cheeks. Remus scowled, trying to push any feeling over the one that was threatening to tear through his heart get to Sirius’, “You just didn’t answer—“
“I answered.”
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t.” Sirius pulled a smoke out just to watch the way Remus’ eyes tracked his hand motions. He mumbled to it, palm cupped around the enchanted filter until it glowed to life, “Just thought that’s where you might’ve been, s’all.”
Remus blinked, lips parted, then scoffed, “You think I was shacking up with some bloke from Potions? When I just told you where I was, what, you don’t believe me?”
Sirius blew smoke out into the air slowly, “No, I was just asking. Pretty sure Minnie would’ve let you go if you said you had homework.”
“I didin’t have homework, Sirius, you did.” Remus knew the words would hurt but he thought maybe the guilt would crush the want, “And you know I need all the help I can get. In here, what I am is a secret. Out there it’s going to be practically impossible for me to even go into a fucking pub, Sirius, what the hell.”
Sirius shook his head, “No one would bother us in a pub.”
Remus raised his eyebrows, “What’re you going to do, blow smoke at them? And who said you’d be with me?”
Remus shut his mouth the second the words escaped but Sirius was already up, flicking the cigarette into the fire, and walking up the staircase with nothing but an “okay.”
~
Remus was confused to say the least. He thought Sirius was angry with him, and then he would send him a blinding smile over breakfast, one that he couldn’t help returning. Then he’d catch Sirius’ gaze on him, a stare that practically felt like fire against his skin, and was met with no smile.
Then Sirius turned up at Hogsmeade with Allison Turner and a smile for both her and Remus. And, honestly, Remus wanted to kill him.
“Hey.” Allison greeted the table for both of them as they sat down at The Three Broomsticks. Lily was the only one with enough poise to return the greeting. James had his mouth slightly open. Remus was too focused on keeping the waves of nausea in his stomach at bay when Sirius threw an arm around the back of her chair, his thumb trailing lazily along her shoulder. Remus watched his hand with a clenched jaw.
“Sorry we’re late.” Sirius said, drawing one of the butterbeers towards him, “Alli wanted to stop at ‘dukes.” He reached a hand into his pocket briefly and his eyes found Remus’, “Here, Re.”
Remus watched the oversized chocolate bar slide across the worn wood table, stopping with a small nudge against his own butterbeer. His chest swelled in a strange fight over warmth and cool fucking fury because what? You bring a girl and chocolate for me? What?
Remus choked out, “Thanks.” Then got up from the table. He made it through the door without any protests from the others and walked briskly through the summer evening until he was behind The Three Broomsticks, sinking down onto what he assumed was a smoking stool for the staff. A wind blew dust in his eyes and he cursed, pressing his thumb and forefinger into them and bowing his head.
“What, you don’t like chocolate anymore?”
Remus huffed out a laugh, “Fuck. Why, you’re going to drop me some mid-snog next time?”
“Are…” Sirius’ voice hesitated and Remus heard him take another step forward, “Are you cr—“
“No.” Remus sat up, looking at him blankly, “I got dust in my eyes.” He realized how lame it sounded too late, but Sirius, after a brief survey of his face, seemed to believe him.
“What makes you think I’m going to snog her?”
“Well, why else did you bring her?”
Sirius raised an eyebrow, “Maybe I like her.”
Remus shook his head, pushing his hands through his slightly sweaty hair, “You don’t like her.”
Sirius put his hands up a little, in defense, before dropping them to his side, “Okay, Jesus.”
“What is happening, Sirius?” Remus stood, slight, unhumored smile on his face, “Okay? What’s happening, I don’t get it. You smile then you’re fucking dismissive. And I know I fight back with the same fire but I—“ Remus shook his head, shrugging, “What the fuck. I didn’t do anything.”
Sirius was suddenly in Remus’ space, having taken the two strides forward so that Remus was anchored between the brick wall and Sirius’ chest. Remus’ lips parted, and when he breathed too heavy their chests touched, rib to rib.
“I didn’t do anything.” He whispered into the significantly smaller space.
Sirius still didn’t say anything, but all Remus could really process was that the air had turned humid with their breaths, and his heart was pounding into his stomach. Then Sirius’ hands, his slender, fucking gorgeous hands, pressed into Remus’ jaw, holding him still. Sirius’ eyes flickered at the full-body shudder it elicited from Remus, his eyes glazing over with the power to effect him like that.
“You watch my hands.” Sirius breathed, “All the time.” His tongue wet his bottom lip as he watched Remus’ eyes flutter when he pressed his thumb to Remus’ mouth, dragging it across his lip, “All the fucking time.”
“This isn’t an explanation.” Remus’ voice shook, and his hands found Sirius’ jacket, fisting the material. He shoved a little, but didn’t let go, “What the fuck are you trying to do to me.” Sirius pressed into Remus’ space further, knee between his thighs, watching the way his thumb slipped slightly into Remus’ mouth as he spoke. Remus swore lightly, letting his head fall back against the brick, “Sirius.”
“You didn’t do anything.” Sirius tilted his head a little, eyes hooded and shining, “Or maybe you did everything, I don’t know. The point is…”
He trailed off because Remus, fucking hell, couldn’t seem to help himself and had bit gently down over Sirius thumb.
“Remus.”
“What’s the point?” Remus pressed, twisting his fists in Sirius’ jacket.
“Well, I think you know if you’re acting like this.”
Remus pulled a little, and Sirius had to bend down, neck arching to brush their noses together, “Say it.”
Sirius licked his lips. There were a million ways he had seen this never panning out. He’d never expected it to work, never expected Remus to want him back.
“I want you.” He said out loud, voice shaking under the weight of the three words he’d never dared say in his head, “I want you right now, I’ve wanted you for months.”
Remus let out a breath, letting the words wash over him, and said, “Me too. Me too, Pads, me too—“
Sirius didn’t even think to move his thumb before he crushed their mouths together, and he felt the bruising pressure Remus pressed back with in the way his lip dipped around his finger. He shuttered, tugging it away to part Remus’ mouth with his tongue instead, fingers hooking back around his jaw. Remus made a soft noise and tilted his chin up into the kiss his hands smoothing over Sirius’ shoulders to reach his back, digging into the dips beneath his wing bones. They kissed for what felt like ages, hard and heavy and fast, more teeth and tongue than necessary probably but Sirius was busy gaining the oxygen he’d been missing straight from Remus’ lungs, busy easing every ache in his bones with the weight of Remus’ palms.
He felt Remus’ hands reach down further and press into his own, winding their fingers together tightly. Sirius smirked a little against his mouth and brought their hands up to press over Remus’ head against the wall. Their new position flushed their bodies together, causing Remus to make another one of his small sounds, setting fire to Sirius’ bloodstream.
“Fuck.” Remus mumbled, “Can we go back?” Remus’ lips slid down Sirius’ neck, biting, “I wanna go back and…”
Sirius was reluctant to lose any of their present contact, but the thought of a completely bare Remus, beneath him, spread out and fair against his sheets, was enough to spur him on. He drew Remus’ mouth back to his for one more kiss before nodding.
“Wait,” he said when Remus went to move. He bracketed him in again, drawing a smile from Remus, “I…” He let his eyes flit over Remus’ face, “I really do want you, Re. And I know things are pretty—heated right now, but I want you to know. I, I mean the quiet parts too. Not just this.” He pressed a softer kiss to Remus’ mouth, the softest one he had yet delivered, and the look on Remus’ face when he pulled back made him do it three more time.
Remus gently untangled their hands in favor of cupping the back of Sirius’ neck, “Sounds nice.” He was grinning and, this time, maybe there were a few tears in his eyes, “The quiet parts with you.”
Sirius grinned back, taking his hand again and pulling him in the vague direction of the station, “Well. We can save those for after. I think I want some loud parts first.”
Sirius watched the flush rise against Remus’ neck and pulled him into a kiss again.
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