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#hmmm.... hes a very personal person who enjoys drinking and fighting a little too much.
gleeandshame · 5 months
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Gbbo botanical week 2023
Liveblogging for myself and one friend
Botanical weeks seem to replay the random nationalities, probably smart but something not common huh!
Abbi woulda thrived, huh?
Usually it’s like an old man who has a garden in past seasons who do it for fun
Gotta be real, I’m not sure how cardamom tastes
I forget spices are like… natural lol
Mulled wine to egg is so grey, looool
Quite a dangerous thing to do. “Thank you”
Go Tasha, lol, I wish her the best tho
We fight Paul here
Dana, girl, not spicing a bun but just the filling? Good luck
Was Josh also a garden boy earlier… eh we’ll see
I’ve not really baked a bread besides banana so I never had to prove anything. Seems a rough bit with their time always
That did look nice Dana, the twist
Oh I forget they might use Celsius? Or do they use F for baking. Wow I know nothing
Alison “lean on these buns” I’m…
Yes Tasha prove Paul wrong (was prove a pun)
Welp, called it with Dana
Saku works in accounting, her maths!
Like Josh’s lemon and blueberry representative frosting swirl
Good job Cristy
Alison did tell matty to prove longer lol
1 hour 30 doesn’t seem enough. They like the pressure dramas now I feel
Matty and Alison as lemon and time
That’s a big cake for each person, hope the crew gets to enjoy
Noel is actually singing “Entrance of the Gladiators” what a song for clowns huh
I don’t know crystallizing
Matty being completely confused and Tasha just watching when not supposed to
Noel and Saku messing around
Enrichment in his enclosure
Judged the technical well into the night? I don’t notice sundown often
Matty you referenced HP, unfortunately we must throw you in a pit now
Dan made something hmmm
Alison…. Hahahahhahahaaaaa
Saku is making something ambitious
Tasha just signing to be more comfortable, let’s gooooo
Is hibiscus like really popular over there???
I mean we have them where I live, like in people’s yards, but I only had a hibiscus drink like once
That box should be nice
It looks like resin
Shark attacks! Lol, Dana is fun
Yeah that’s like a sunflower texture… I didn’t notice cristy buttering the mold, oh it’s the chocolate
Dan no…..
Tasha what
Why is there tragic disasters and there’s no commentary. What a time suck!!!
Oh Tasha’s back up, plot twist!!! Good for her
Tasha is so tall… (me being normal about it)
Thank you for the help Josh!
Cristy nooo, I mean idk if there’s anything practical to do
Saku saying bless her
Cristy no… no offense to her, but she gives off the vibes of someone would would start crying so like… :(
They can eat it… this is sad. Someone mentioned if old hosts were around they would cuss up a storm to make this footage unusable
Cristy, I think you should be safe you did well earlier….
Group hug and lots of encouragement from others though
Starting out they’re judging Tasha a little too kindly on look, I think… the inside does look nice tho and do trust it’s yummy tho
That’s a nice flower and the layers are clean, Saku
Very nice flower, Josh
Josh is quite good. He just doesn’t have much personality comparatively to others
Dana’s decoration is very cool, shame about the rest
Good on ya Josh
Ah, knew she was gone, but RIP. She’s kept a great attitude. Goodbye :(
Yay calling mums
Saku asking about time off to someone named Charlotte, looool
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aeipcthy · 3 years
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I’ve done a terrible, terrible deed........  i have added yet another tired looking bearded white boy-- gkdfdg his name is Oswin Caldwell! and he is............The Vampirate... because I simply could not resist.  Here’s a grab of his little bio blurb below so yall dont have to go trudging through the whole muses page for it .w.’
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#( ooc )#( tbd )#i said i was gonnA WRITE BUT........... i did this instead and u know what.... this is fine#idk how much ill use him or for what rlly but!! here he is for now....#hmmm... little bit about the guy? he is.. not tall. not ridiculously short but certainly not considered big#but thats like.... normal height for the century he was born and raised in i think tbh#hes a slippery.. vicious.. violent eel of a man. unlike tommy-- he is genuinely not a good man#tommy and oswin have a similar background and whatnot but... oz is like... woof. Pirates were a different breed hfdbujd#but i guess at least they had like.... honor amongst themselves? sorta?#anyway hes like... mostly gay. he doesnt put a label on it. he genuinely just doesnt care enough to#could love a woman he supposes ? could happen but has yet to#hmmm.... hes a very personal person who enjoys drinking and fighting a little too much.#& has /tremendous/ control over his bloodlust as a vamp (as opposed to tom who still struggles at times)#& is actually significantly more powerful than he looks or puts forth (he never drinks anything but human blood if he can help it#& isnt afraid to go after it when he wants or needs it--  unlike tom who holds back & is weakened bc of it)#his voice is also like.... some weird mixture? pirate-y yea but much less so than it was. he's.. practiced a lot to get rid of it mostly lol#some weird ass diluted version of a handful of UK accents#pirate-y.... or hints of it.... but like. watered down significantly. ..dont ask how i intend to write this lmAO#uuuuuuu.....hmm... ill add his extended bio later!#if yall got any questions about the old rat in the meantime-- feel free to ask ofc!!
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husbandohunter · 3 years
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A Small Predicament [Baby Genshin x Reader]
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Characters: Scaramouche, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Xiao, Zhongli, Albedo
Synopsis: Cursed for a week, the boys either have to live with it or find a cure as soon as possible. You on the otherhand hoped otherwise.
(A/n): It only takes ONE glance for me to start having ideas. It was twelve in the morning yall, enjoy~
Oh here's part 2
--------
Scaramouche
• "Oh you shrank? I couldn't tell-"
• Threatens that he will murder you to pieces and burn your remains but his voice was so squeaky and high pitched (voice crack) that you couldn't help but burst into a tearful laughter. 
• Its payback time  Bully him, take his hat and hover it above his head. Truthfully, without his hat Scaramouche looks like a little schoolboy. Overall less intimidating.
• Tries glaring. Cute. He's really bratty as a kid, sitting on a high chair (which you had to help him get on) and demanding his servants to do his bidding. In reality, his personality never changed. You realized that even as a grown up he still acts like this (bratty kid in a grown man body).
• The curse made his week a living hell. Signora had the audacity to pull his ear when he misbehaves. Childe constantly messes with his hair while giving head pats and the WORST of all, pinching his cheeks. Scaramouche never wanted to commit arson so bad in his life.
• Eventually finds a cure so he doesn't have to deal with it anymore and orders everyone to never speak of it again. Though, he's plotting how he'll get revenge on everyone who made fun of him using the very same curse (You better run).
~~x~~
Diluc
• "Oh…Oh my! Diluc you're just so cute!" 
• Diluc grimaces as you glomp him in this state. How can you help it? With his head so small it makes his hair all the more fluffier! His coat no longer fits him to the point the sleeves had made past his fingertips. He tried wielding his claymore again, only to lose balance and fall flat onto his bum
• (insert kid voice "Retribution!") Did I mention the babyface?
• Diluc tries to act as if everything was normal, acting like the Darknight hero and Mondstadt's Tycoon but fun-sized. He couldn't. There was no way people would take him seriously in business meetings. Same with fighting abyss mages, his smaller form was too much of a disadvantage. Thus you ended up doing most of his paperwork.
• One time you caught him sitting on the floor couldn't reach his office desk  while reading away the various books for a cure. It was three in the morning. You told him it was way past his bedtime and he argues saying when did he ever have a curfew schedule. In the end you managed to convince him and he begrudgingly obliges.
• The type to NOT ask for help even when it's obvious that he really needs it. Before he was the one who helped you reach things from the top shelves, oh how the tables have turned. He avoids Kaeya like a plague unless he was in it for another round of funny remarks. When he wanted to go out and get some fresh air, you insisted on accompanying him. Worst mistake in his life. A travelling merchant bumps into you and commented that you had a very cute son. Diluc was mortified.
• The day ended up with him sulking in his room. Although it was tempting, you resisted from cooing over his adorable form after days of treating him like a child. It wasn't because you were teasing him, Diluc just works so hard that you wanted to spoil him a bit. At least he could still play a game of chess with you.
• When things went back to normal, Diluc ensures that you will NOT see him as your son.
~~x~~
Kaeya
• "Well look who it is, my little Prince Kaeya~"
• Tries really hard not be bothered by it at all. Kaeya still maintains his suave facade, throwing in a couple of flirting lines here and there (and forcing his voice to go a few octaves too low in which puberty has yet to occur HA). Though no matter what approach, he couldn't ignore the sparkling mischievious glint in your eye. You were obviously not taking him seriously.
• Things couldn't get any worse. He lost his masculine physique and boob window, he wasn't able to go to certain places without supervision. But the worst thing of all was that he was underaged. Kaeya hated the fact he couldn't drink anymore, he even insisted you to sneak him a few bottles (which you refused) and had to settle with plain beverages such as fruit juice (what an insult). He was never really grounded since his childhood days but he certainly felt like he was grounded now. 
• Kaeya still kisses you on the lips whether you like it or not. If you ask him to sit on your lap, he will find a way to turn the position into his favour such as resting his face between your breasts. You're not gonna treat him like a kid, nuh-uh, he actively avoids it.
• Since his personality still remains, Kaeya is a naughty child. He will use his innocent appearance to sway people (even you) to get what he wants. That was how he was able to take a sip of the wine he stole somewhere (he wouldn't tell you). Diluc scolded him heavily and threatened to ban him from drinking from his Tavern for a week (they ended up arguing, Kaeya being the passive aggressive little shit he is).
• He was extremely relieved to return back to his normal form again. He has so much to catch up (specifically his bedtime activities with you *wink wonk*)
~~x~~
Child(e)
• "Hmmm to be honest, this actually suits you very much."
• Unlike the other boys, Childe was completely okay with it. Turns out that YOU were the one who was not going to be okay. If you thought taking care of Teucer was energy-draining then expect Childe to take that tenfold and beyond.
• You've officially became his full-time babysitter who is in desperate need of a raise (and rest). You can't take your eyes off of him and archons forbid that he will ever meet Klee. One point he'll be running ahead by your side and the next you'll find him getting himself in a 1vs7 situation with some shady looking treasure hoarders. Childe genuinely thinks he could take them on but the curse downgraded his abilities. You carried him and barely made out of it alive. (This made you ponder whether the best solution would be to strap him against a chair for the time being…)
• Childe being a child will eat all the candies and ice cream he pleases. You wonder if the curse also turned him a few years back or was it that he acts like this simply because he wanted to (it was the latter). He loves being spoiled, spoiled by you! Childe demands your full attention, spoon-feeding his meals, back rubs and head pats. Yep, he's definitely doing this on purpose.
• Did he just call you 'mommy'? (Childe has mommy kink confirmed).  He has so much energy that it was exhausting, you literally had to drag him away from what ever he was doing in order to get him to bed. "No Childe, your sleeping time is 9p.m stop whining." He bargained that he'll sleep if you sleep beside him (you didn't get any sleep. You knew what he was planning. In the end, you tried to make sure he didn't sneak out behind your back.)
• Finally you were able to get out of that hell-hole. Childe promised to make it up to you, you deserve it after all~
~~x~~
Small (aka Xiao)
• "Did you know in the Liyuean language, Xiao translates to small?" You didn't say that out loud. Not when he's this angry (this angy)
• He just stands there, crossing his arms and grumbling. You were hesitant to touch him in case he might hiss at you. Xiao has always been short, maybe an inch taller than you, but seeing him like this made you think 'my almighty yaksha can't be this cute♡'
• He gets mad when you no longer call his name for help. How could you? He's just so precious~ Xiao makes it clear that no matter what form he takes, it doesn't make him weak ("Adepti and you mortals are nothing alike." Or so he says but you could tell he wasn't running as fast as he used to because…small legs). You may not comment on it aloud but he can tell just by the look on your face and it irritates him.
• Also the type to not ask for help but worse. Xiao is an agressive little kid, he seems as if he'll be willing to bite someone's finger off if they try to pet him (He gives strong cat vibes, so thats understandable). His spear was too big for him to wield so he often has to put it away or else he might knock someone over with it. Xiao hates being short so you'll be hearing him complain alot.
• Since he was an adepti, he didn't need to sleep however, the curse must have brought down his power by a significant amount to the point you DID catch him napping. You almost swooned out loud just by taking a glance upon his face. For once he didn't wear his signature grumpy look. Xiao appears like a normal child, one full of innocence. His snoring was soft and breathly but that just meant he was deep asleep. (You wished to take a picture). 
• Of course, everything had to come to an end (much to your disappointment), he still complains about the incident to this day.
~~x~~
Zhongli
• How is it possible for a baby to still look so handsome? (Must be his godly abilities)
• Zhongli is unfazed by this 'curse' since his past lives have already taken many forms. Though for some reason whenever he walks down the streets of Liyue, young girls, mothers, ladies all come him was and start complimenting him and gushing over him (he was suffocating). They'd squeeze him tight or squish his cheeks, it only takes once glance before the little girls start blushing and hiding behind their moms.
• Needless to say, despite what form he is in, Zhongli is still able to get free stuff. He got some free candies and some free kites to play with. You had to help him carry his items. Zhongli ends up tripping too much because his tailcoat reached his feet (he decided to just take it off. You had to hold that too). Seems like he can have anyone do things for him in the end HA.
• He still got that drippy voice and you're just like ???? "What on Teyvat Zhongli, you're a kid." This is why you can't see him as one, its nearly impossible.
• Actively avoids Hu Tao and Childe. Once Hu Tao caught sight of him and chased him for hours, he couldn't stay in one spot knowing that she might just pop out of no where. Childe still spoils him, however Zhongli feels irritated by the fact the only things Childe buys him toys (its different when other people do it.)
• Everytime you guys go back strolling through Liyue, you had to hold his hand in case more women come swarming hin again. You swear that at this rate he might get kidnapped because hes just such a beautiful baby.
• Zhongli learned an important lesson after his curse was lifted: no matter how many years he lives throughout  never take a form of a child.
~~x~~
Albedo
• You find him buried beneath a pile of books and had to dig him out before he suffocates.
• Albedo has the cutest eyes, they're big and round full of curiosity and they sparkle too (he has the prettiest eyes out of everyone tbh). He is the only person who is fascinated by this outcome and immediately goes in the wild to test out his new physique. 
• He was always curious why Klee T-poses when she runs so he decided to try it out himself. She was thrilled to find out that she now has a little brother to play with. In the end, Albedo indulges in the games she always wanted to play but couldn't because he was too old: princess dress up tea parties.
• You felt many things when you saw Albedo wearing a frilly gown and a plastic tiara tucked on his head. Deep down you knew regardless of what gender Albedo was still pretty. Klee even had the guts to redo his hair and hardly anyone was able to recognize it was him at all. He has pigtails, PIGTAILS! You made sure to burn that image into the very depths of your mind forever.
• The only advantage was the he was ablw to fit through small spaces, other than that, being small was way too inconvenient. He knocked down a few of his potion bottles which damaged the floor (thankfully not him) because they were lethal (he wonders how Klee was able to not injure herself when using bombs). You carried him and lifted him to alot of places such as trudging through the snow because Albedo would surely fall on his face due to his small form.
• Enough was enough, he only lasted a day with this and decided to just make a potion and put an end to the curse once and for all. 
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Bloody Comfort
pre borderlands!Niragi x fem!reader / Niragi x fem!reader
A/N:  i feel like i only post Marvel on this blog and i missed my show so here it is, finally an AiB fic! :D also, minigame: how many alice in wonderland references can you spot? also also, bloody comfort is an awesome name for a band and if you do name your band that, i want my money. enjoy the fic! also also also i didn’t proofread SHIT so sorry for any grammar mistakes.
trigger warning: bullying, mentions of violence (nothing too graphic, i think but beware nonetheless), death (graphic. i mean, i’m not that good of a writer but still, beware), very slight mentions of nsfw, especially torwards the end, niragi (HE’S A WARNING OK), niragi having disturbing thoughts (what else is new. but fr, ok), sliiiiiight yandere niragi torwards the end. (also I tried not to describe in too much detail the bullying that niragi and the reader suffer in the fic so it wouldn’t be too sad). 
@dreamingofanisland here it is bestie! 
Niragi couldn’t pinpoint when he stopped being sad and when he started getting angry. From a suffocating hopelessness came a desperation he could only describe as feral. He often fantasized about just jumping over his desk and strangling each one of them to death but his thoughts quickly ended with Niragi envisioning himself being overpowered and beaten. He started to not only get angry at his bullies, but people in general. Things. Life.
How could so many people turn a blind eye? How could life be so unfair to give people like this the upperhand and not him? Not him that clearly deserved it? This world was backwards.
-
He knew he was fucked when he saw the bat, and although he braced for the impact he couldn’t help but fall to his knees and wince at the sickening sound that the baseball did in contact with his nose.
He just sat there and while all he wanted to do was to rip their throats with his teeth all he did was to endure a few more punches before they left with a promise that there would be more. He sat there trying not to cry with sheer frustration. His papers were scattered around, the left arm of his glasses was broken and his pristine black outfit was now covered in dust from the gravel, his hands scratched. He could taste blood on his tongue and he felt a sick satisfaction, pretending for one moment that it was another person’s blood he was tasting.
“Do you need help?”, a voice woke him from his violent daydreams. Suddenly everything boiled over and he felt an overwhelming anger rise inside of him. In a blink of an eye he was standing up, yelling at a somewhat blurry image of a girl who he towered over, even more as she shrunk under his anger. If he wouldn’t be so busy screaming profanities, he would be madly aroused.
“WHAT, HUH? CAME TO SEE THE SHOW? TO LAUGH AT ME?”, he was furious, and as he approached her, she proceeded to walk back.
“No. I just wanted to help”, she said. It seemed another flash and suddenly he could see a bit clearer. Although startled, she didn’t seem afraid of him, and was extending him a tissue. “Your nose is bleeding”, she said, and Niragi wanted to scoff at her for stating the obvious. But she was being kind. And as angry as he was, kindness wasn’t something that he could say no to. He tried his best to control his shaky hands as he took the tissue from her hands and carefully dabbed his nose, as she ducked to collect his papers, and tuck them back into his bag.
“Saw what they did to you. ‘m sorry”, she mumbled. Niragi wanted to strangle her out of sheer embarrassment.
“And you just took some popcorn and enjoyed the spectacle?”, he spat.
“I wanted to help but I wasn’t sure what to do. Would you rather if I had called someone?”, she asked. He breathed once, twice. She wasn’t mocking him, but was unnervingly calm. Something about her being calm while he was practically foaming at the mouth had him seeing red and suddenly he regret having wiped the blood off of his lips.
“No”, he said, calmly. “No, I wouldn’t. Sorry. I have to go”, he said, ripping his bag from her hands with such force that he tugged her arm with it.
“Wait! I mean what I said! I want to help!”
“You, help me? What are you going to do, huh? Be my bodyguard?”, he mocked her one more time. He couldn’t help himself, his brain got used to this. Fight or flight. His adrenaline was pumping and everytime he was around school grounds he looked over his shoulder.
“Hmmm, sorta? Not exactly but I could show you a place. A safe place”, she said. He just looked at her.
“If we get there and it’s a prank of some sort I’ll let you punch me. Square in the face”, she said.
“Are you insane? You just go around letting people punch you in the face?”, his mouth was quicker than his brains and suddenly he felt his face grow hot at the irony of what he had said. But if she noticed it, she didn’t mention.
“Let me help you”, she said.
And he did.
He followed her through a wooded area near the school grounds after walking through a hole in a fence.
He was getting ready to beat you to the punch and hit you so hard that you’d bleed as hard as he did, until you stopped until you reached a very underwhelming toolshed with a padlock.
“We’re here”, you said, and he realized that she sounded different. All this time she was on edge. ‘Of course, Suguru, you threatened the girl like, 3 times’, said the voice in the back of his head. She pulled a key from her bag and the padlock opened easily and they heavy chains fell to the ground and she pushed open the door, going inside. He hesitantly followed.
The inside is nothing as he thought it would be. For starters, it was surprisingly clean and  it didn’t smell bad. And instead of tools and brooms and leafblowers, it had bean bags, blankets, a table with a radio full of knickknacks in the corner and a chair that had clearly seen better days but looked comfortable none the less. The girl walked to a corner of the room and his eyes followed her as she closed the door, which had small sharpie drawings on it. She reached for a white box and settled it on the floor between the two bean bags, and reached inside a very small thermos to pull out an artificially blue isotonic drink and settled it down too. Then from the plastic bag he previously assumed was trash, she pulled a bag of chips.
She then patted the bean bag next to hers. “Welcome to my clinic”, she said, placing the white box on her lap.
-
After an entire afternoon of bonding over unhealthy food and an impromptu first aid rescue, Niragi learned that her name was Y/N, she was a year below and that this little world she created was her refuge from the girls in her class that picked on her.
“I found this and decided that it would be nice. No one’s using it, it’s far from everything. It’s on the Beheaded Woman’s territory”.
Niragi heard the rumors through his bullies. “One day we’ll drag you to the Beheaded Woman’s woods and fucking kill you”.  After further investigation, he learned that allegedly a girl was dragged through the woods and beheaded with a blunt axe.
“I made the rumors up. I had to make sure no one would find my safe haven”, she explained. “And once you write something in the girls’ bathroom stall, there’s no turning back. It’s out there and it’s truth”, she sighed. “I would know”.
He wasn’t the most up to date in all the gossip but she told him her story. The rumors they spread, the things they did to her. She almost seemed amused. He in turn told her his story. By the end of it, he could kill someone. She then offered him the other key to her safe haven.
“You can decorate it too. Don’t tell anyone else and make sure to lock it after you use it. Use it as much as you want, just make sure they don’t follow you, okay?”
He took the keys with shakey hands, a knot on his throat. Another type of adrenaline was pumping through his veins. When a few moments ago there were a fast white heat, coursing through him like an electric current, this was slow and almost overwhelmingly warm, like molten lava.
“Why are you doing this? Being so nice to me?”, he whispered as if it was a secret, as if this moment was another fantasy, a deer that’s easily spooked. He had fantasized about this too. A safe haven, an ally. A friend.
“Because we’re the same, you and I”.
-
You hated him. You hated him with a burning passion. What was at first an act of pity, born from the empathy you felt by seeing someone go through what you did, quickly became a friendship and like a disease, it spread to beyond your safe haven. You would spend your free time together, walk home together. You became friends. And what did he do? Exactly what he told you he would.
“Sometimes don’t you wish to disappear?”, he whispered to you once.
“Yeah. Like, run away? Yeah, I do”, you replied agreeing with him.
 ‘You’re the only one that understands me. We really are the same’, he would say. What at the beginning of your budding crush on him gave you butterflies on the stomach now made you want to throw up.
You lost your only friend. You despised the sound of music now, because every single song you heard, you shared with him. For the same reason, you didn’t enjoy your favorite movies anymore. Your bullies banded together to target you. And the worst part of all, is that you couldn’t even care. There was no silver lining anymore.
“Don’t you get furious?! Don’t you want to hurt them, make them pay?”, he said as he watched you apply concealer to a bruised cheek.
“I mean, I get angry but I try my best to not let it get to me. It’s what they want. I despise those people, I can’t get in a funk because of them”, you said nonchalantly.
But you had loved him. And now you felt like even moving around was an herculean task, like you were almost dead trying to get to safety. But there was no safety anymore.
Ironically, you started to understand him more and more after he disappeared. The anger, the hatred. How could anyone just follow their lives? When there’s people like you just suffering through yours?
Suguru Niragi was an illness, a parasite. He carved his way under your skin and into your heart, laid eggs of his hate on your veins and sucked you dry of your life’s essence. Then, after you were a shell of a human, he disappeared out of thin air, leaving you alone. Leaving you with those people. Leaving you to die.
And you were still in love with him.
-
You thought you were finally insane when it happened.
The streets were empty. Absolutely no one. You wondered for a moment if you felt so alone that your mind convinced itself that that’s exactly what had happened, if any moment now you would be locked in an insane asylum for running around and screaming until you throat got raw.
It took you two games to understand what was going on. You made sure to change clothes. Running shoes, leggings and a warm hoodie that you never let the hood down. You decided to significantly shorten your hair after you saw a man pull a young girl by the ponytail in a spades game. You loaded a backpack with food and bottles of water, anything you could find. And an axe that you took from an emergency box from the building you slept in.
It was on your 5th game that it happened. You saw people die in these games, but none of it was hands on for you. You just watched your back and hoped to win and let whoever was running this show take care of the rest. Honestly, you didn’t even wait to know if anyone even survived. You were done doing that.
When you got there, there were five people already. They banded together and whispered amongst themselves as you passed them by and grabbed a phone. Probably just a group of friends that got stranded at the same time and decided to stay together. You clutched you axe harder.
You didn’t even realize that you had zoned out until you heard hollering and four guys heavily armed walked you by. Where the fuck did they get guns? One of them let out a boisterous laugh that reminded you of someone that you wanted desperately to forget. You couldn’t even get over him during fucking Saw? That sound made your skin crawl.
Registration closed, said the mechanic voice. Difficulty: 8 of clubs. The first 5 players will be the first team and the last 5 players will be the second. One team must eliminate the others without losing any players. Both teams will be identified by the color of your screen, and will have one minute to hide.
You saw the armed guys’ screens light up red. You sighed in relief as yours did too. You made sure to keep your head down and thank whoever that not killing teammates was a part of the rules. They seemed amused and absolutely calm, and the guy with the rifle laughed again. You were shaking by now.
When the minute started, everyone bolted in different directions. You didn’t even look back to see if your teammates had accompanied you but by the sound of your footsteps crushing leaves, you were alone. You decided to go back after a while, looking around. A lamppost. Huh, lamppost it is. You leaned against the cool metal and focused on the silence. The minute had ended but they were still hunting. You didn’t come across anyone, which was good. After a while, all you could hear were distant gunshots.
You looked to the floor, only to see a shadow approaching you quick. You barely had time to dodge before a man hit you behind the head with a rock. You reacting made him lose his balance, falling to the floor and letting go of the rock. You looked at him. It was one of the boys from the other team. He had on a white button up blouse and a black hoodie. His hair had fallen over his brown eyes and he looked so scared and so alone.
This will have to do.
You didn’t stop, suddenly lifting the axe and bringing it down was like an automatic thing.
“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME? AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU! YOU ABANDONED ME IN A MINUTE, LEFT ME ALONE IN THAT HELL!”
You didn’t stop when he started praying and then screaming. You didn’t stop when he started bleeding profusely or when the strength of your movements made your hood slide down from your head. You didn’t stop when his head got detached from his body and if you weren’t so angry, you would’ve listened tfootsteps. You didn’t stop until you had made mincemeat out of his face. Just for the sheer audacity of reminding you of him.
He looked at you from afar while you looked at the body of the boy whose skull you just had destroyed, a maniac, victorious smile on your face. You were pretending the boy was him. You really thought he had abandoned you? He would be absolutely heartbroken if he wasn’t so aroused. That’s what he always wanted to see, the instincts that you tried to push down. You were right, you were both the same. He wanted to lick that blood off of you, use it as lube to take you right there. When he first arrived at the Borderlands, when he first killed someone and liked it, he thought you would be disgusted by him. But look at you now. You were here, perfect for him, soaked in blood, feral. He’s never been so hard.
“Y/N”, he said.
“Niragi?,” you said. He ran to you, held you even when you fought back, even when you screamed bloody murder that you were going insane, begging to die already, even when you passed out on his arms. He licked a drop of blood from your neck.
“Let me take you to our safe haven”, he whispered against your skin.
590 notes · View notes
kimvvantae · 3 years
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puzzle; 8 (FINAL)
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➜  you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?
pairing: jungkook x (f) reader
genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au
warnings: lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex
rating: 18+
word count: 16k
A/N: finally the last chapter! i am actually feeling very emotional right now. i enjoyed writing puzzle so much and it received so much love since the beginning! your feedback always kept me motivated to write. thank you so much to everyone that followed these two dorks and waited patiently for every update. i hope we can meet again in future works! 
hmmm, a little rec?? but i listened to sweet night by taehyung as i wrote this chapter. maybe listening to it will enhance your experience too!
enjoy!
➜  Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!
« playlist »
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You don’t know how long it has been until Taehyung finds you.
It’s cold. The tears have finally come to a halt, but you’re still sobbing and sniffling. You should probably get up and go home. It’s late. Not safe to be alone on the street like this. You should probably call an uber or something. 
Yet, every time you think of Jungkook’s tears, it seems that your own eyes well up with tears all over again.
What makes you snap back into reality is the sound of shoes walking down the stairs.
You get up in a jump, feeling your legs ache in the process, and turn around to see the person you least expected to see right now. Taehyung stops some steps ahead. The light pole behind him marks his silhouette with a halo.
“I finally found you,” he says after a few seconds. He sounds hesitant but somehow relieved. 
It makes your heart clench even more.
You make an immense effort to speak, as if words ran over inside your throat and made it stuck. Well, they did, in a sense.
“Taehyung, w-what…?” is all you can stutter. You don’t really need to finish the sentence. What are you doing here? Why did you come after me even though I hurt you?
He looks down and caresses the back of his neck. You notice that he’s nervously fiddling with his car keys on the other hand. Oh. He probably didn’t want to be around you, either.
“Well, you ran away down the street like that. I got worried.”
You shouldn’t.
“It’s… not safe to be by yourself on the street like this. I’m taking you home.”
Please, don’t be kind to me. 
It will be much harder if you’re being kind to me.
“Taehyung, I…” you feel yourself squeezing your purse against you, just as nervous as he is. You don’t want to bother him with your presence anymore. “I was about to call an uber. You don’t need to…”
“It’s alright. I’m already here anyway.” He starts to walk up the stairs again without looking back. Without giving you a chance to disagree. “Let’s go.”
It seems that your legs forgot how to walk as you watch him. You don’t want to get inside his car. You don’t want to face him, not right now. 
When Taehyung reaches the top of the stair alley, he finally looks back at you in silence. 
That’s when you realize that you have to face him. You were never one to run away from the consequences of your actions.
The newest consequence is staring back at you in quiet sadness.
You inhale deeply before going after him.
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An awful silence hovers in the air during the entire ride home.
You can’t help but shrink on the passenger’s seat, hugging your own arms tight, your head leaning on the window. Taehyung does not make any attempt to engage a conversation. His presence is suffocating.
Something cold sets in your stomach when he parks the car in front of your apartment’s building. There’s nothing out there to distract you anymore. Nowhere else to run to.
You inhale again.
“Thank you.” you say softly. 
Taehyung doesn’t say anything as he rests his hands on his lap. You watch him intently as he gulps, his eyes glued in something ahead.
“So.” He starts, his voice as low as yours. This is painful. It was never your intention to put him in that situation, never. “I don’t want to take a drunk man seriously.”
It’s your turn to gulp. You really really don’t want to explain everything to him in detail. “Mike is a son of a bitch. He got it all wrong.”
“It seems that he got one thing right, though. Judging by Jungkook’s reaction.”
It’s getting difficult to breathe again.
Taehyung turns his head slowly to look at you.
“Are you guys…?”
You honestly feel like jumping out the window, but your feelings for Taehyung make you stay still. He’s a kind friend. He deserves to hear it clearly.
So you take a deep breath before speaking.
“Jungkook and I, we… we were never a real thing. Not really.” It hurts to say this out loud. It seems that you can still hear his broken voice…
There was never anything real happening, right? We were never real.
“B-But recently I realized that I have feelings for him.”
Taehyung nods slowly and sinks on the driver's seat. He rests his chin on his hand, letting a shaky deep breath out.
“Why did you call me today, then?”
“To tell you the truth.”
He gasps softly and shakes his head again. Taehyung has completely broken eye contact with you and his body language looks protective - building an almost visible wall between you and him in seconds.
“Wow. It seems that I was the one who got it all wrong.”
You feel like touching him to give him even a little bit of comfort, yet you know that you’re his main discomfort in the moment. You turn your body in his direction, pleading.
“Taehyung, it wasn’t meant to happen this way. I didn’t want to hurt you, not at all. I know that an apology won't be enough...”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” He cuts you. His voice sounds strange, so different from how he has ever talked to you. He’s very quiet, but you can feel the anger and hurt lying underneath. “We never had anything anyway. I was the delusional one here.”
No, not again. You don’t think you can take more guilt for one night. You didn’t just delude him going on that date; you deluded him every time you talked, every time you texted each other. Taehyung saw something more when there was nothing at all - he felt something more, and you were too confused with your own feelings for Jungkook to notice what you were doing.
“Taehyung…”
“I’m feeling very ashamed right now.” He admits with a shaky exhale. “Could you…?”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, but you know very well what he meant. Leave.
You nod and open the door into the cold night. You still stand there on the sidewalk hesitantly for a few seconds before whispering a shy “I’m sorry”. Taehyung doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even look your way.
When you shut the door, you know very well that from now on, your friendship with Taehyung is also shut. 
You’ll miss him really bad.
It feels like you can barely carry the weight of your own body as you slowly make your way to your apartment - which is weird, because you feel empty right now. 
Your apartment isn’t as empty as you expected when you open the door, though. Seulgi is standing on the kitchen counter and she smiles wide when she sees you. She looks excited in a way she hasn’t been in months; it seems that she’s about to say something.
Her smile dies as she sees your puffy face and your red nose and eyes. 
“Y/N, what happened…?”
For some reason, when you look at her, you start crying again.
Seulgi wides her eyes and runs to where you’re standing, shocked and confused - probably because you have never cried in front of her yet. Never. 
“Oh my God, Y/N! What happened?!”
You can’t answer because the sobs won’t let you. You can just rest your face on Seulgi’s shoulder as she hugs you, patting your back. She is so confused that she can’t really think of anything else to do.
After a few minutes of restless crying, Seulgi manages to lead you to sit on the couch and runs back to the kitchen to take a glass of water. She sits by your side and hands you the glass, caressing your hair sweetly.
“Can you talk now, babe? What happened?” She asks again quietly as you try to drink a little bit of water.
You wipe the tears away once again and sniff. This place reminds you of him way too much. It feels that he belongs here, even though it’s not his home. And maybe… maybe he won’t ever step inside, ever again.
“I-It’s J-Jungkook.” it’s hard to speak between the sobs.
“Did you guys fight?” You nod weakly. “Was it that bad?”
Yes. Yes, it was.
After months of pretending, you finally open up to Seulgi. There’s no reason to keep this from her anymore. After Mike’s scandal, that’s probably everything the whole campus will be talking about in the next few days (you saw a lot of familiar faces at the bar).
It seems that Seulgi’s eyes will pop out of her face as you speak.
She stares at you, jaw dropped in pure shock.
“You and Jungkook what?!” is the first thing she exclaims. “Since when?!”
You rest your back on the couch and gaze at the ceiling. The sobs have finally stopped, at least. “Do you remember when I broke up with Mike? When we went to that club?”
“Yes, and you spent the night out…” Seulgi trails off as realization hits her. She stares at you as if you’ve grown a second head. “That guy you were talking about was Jungkook?!”
You just nod.
Seulgi gasps and rests her back on the couch right by your side, your arms touching. She’s speechless for a while.
“But, like… how many times?”
“I don’t know.” She gasps again.
“That many times?”
You nod. “It was almost daily at some point.”
It seems that she can’t close her jaw anymore. “Where?”
“Here. His apartment. His car.” You frown. “Sometimes a cheap hotel downtown, when you and Jimin were both home.”
Seulgi stays quiet for a little longer.
You side eye her. “You didn’t suspect?”
She shakes her head slowly. “I thought you guys were acting strange for a while now, but I never thought this was going on.” She looks back at you. “Did someone know?”
“Jimin caught us once.” you decide to omit where he caught you. It’s embarrassing to say that you fucked inside Joy’s bathroom out loud and it makes you feel even worse. “But he promised to not tell anyone."
Back to silence. You can almost hear the engines inside Seulgi’s brain trying to process everything you just told her.
“But why did you guys fight?”
You take a deep breath before telling her the rest. Taehyung, Joy, Mike, Yeri. It’s quite painful to explain, but it’s also relieving.
If you thought Seulgi looked shocked before, now it looks like she just found out that Santa is real.
She completely turns her body in your direction, eyes super wide. “Do you like Jungkook?”
You nod softly, staring at your own fingers.
“It’s more than just liking him.” You admit sheepishly.
Then she’s quiet for a long, long time. You decide to finally look up at her.
Now you’re surprised.
“Why the hell are you smiling?”
Seulgi hides her mouth with both hands - as if this wouldn’t let you see the big ass grin on her lips. “I’m sorry. It’s… it’s cute.”
“Cute?” you quirk one eyebrow. “My suffering is cute to you?”
“That’s not what I mean.” she waves her hand dismissively. “I always kind of shipped you two, okay? It’s just that you two looked really good together and you always had such good chemistry and all. But I tried to stop thinking this because, you know, I thought it was wrong to assume that a man and a woman can’t be just friends… and it never looked like you had feelings for him, not at all.”
You stare at her as if she has a second head growing now. “You shipped us?”
“You can’t judge me.”
You cross your arms and sink on the couch even more. This is kind of shocking. “You never thought I liked him?”
Seulgi shakes her head. “Never. Jungkook, though…”
You turn your head to look at her so fast that your neck almost breaks. “What about him?”
She hesitates a little bit before speaking. “Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.” 
There it is again. The fast beating of your heart. It’s ridiculous that, even though you’re this miserable, you still feel this spark of happiness inside of you. 
For fuck’s sake, Y/N! I’m in love with you!
You press your lips tight in an attempt to hold back the uninvited smile. It’s not appropriate to feel happy now; it feels that you don’t even have the right to feel happy at all. But his confession is hitting you just now. Hitting you like a truck. 
God, if only you could go back in time. If only you could just make him shut the fuck up and listen to you. Why did he have to be so damn dramatic? 
I love you too, dumbass! Now stop being a cry baby and kiss me!
What if Jungkook never gives you a chance to explain yourself? He can be hard-headed when he wants to. What if Jungkook never lets you get close to him again, what if your intimacy finally dies, what if you get so distant that when you’re in the same room you can’t bear each other’s presence anymore? What if from now on, there won’t be any Jungkook to steal your fries when you’re not looking, or to let you steal his clothes even though he pretends he doesn’t know you’re taking them, or to help you understand a difficult assignment, or to annoy you because he’s bored at 4AM, or to tell you the things no one else would be brave enough to tell you or to just be there when you needed someone the most?
Your brain can’t even comprehend what life without Jungkook is.
A mix of despair and hurry makes you get up in a jump.
“I’m going to his apartment.” Your breath is irregular, adrenaline taking control of your actions. “I-I need to talk to him now.”
“Hey, hey!” Seulgi gets up in a jump and puts her hands on your shoulders, forcing you to stop. “Y/N, you’re not okay. And you said Jungkook is drunk. Do you really think you’ll manage to have a civilized conversation right now? He’s probably still angry, maybe he won’t even listen to you.”
“I don’t care. I’ll shout on his door until he listens to me.”
Seulgi holds you in place again when you try to free yourself from her grip. “This is not a good idea and you know it.” She looks at you very seriously. “Take a shower, Y/N. Go to sleep. Tomorrow you’ll both be cold-headed and able to talk.”
“B-But,” you feel the tears coming back. Fuck. You hold Seulgi’s arms weakly. “But he needs to know the truth. He needs to know I like him back.”
The black-haired girl frowns. “Like him back…?”
You nod and look down. “He… he said that he’s in love with me.”
“Really?!” Seulgi huffs and taps your forehead lightly. “Then why are you so desperate?! He loves you back, dummy!”
“But I’m scared, Seulgi.” You sniff.
She rolls her eyes and pushes you into another hug. “Everything will be okay, Y/N. There’s no need to be worried. You already know the most important. Tomorrow you go talk to him, alright?” She chuckles softly. “Never thought I’d see you acting like this.”
You sniff again. “Now you understand how it is to deal with a stupid lovesick roommate.”
“Ouch.” You notice how she pats your back a bit aggressively. “But for real, Y/N… I’ll always be thankful for what you did today to me and Irene. Even though it was none of your business. And I’ll probably beat you up if you ever intervene in my life like that again-”
“Wow, I really see how you’re thankful, Seul.” She chuckles again.
"And I'm kind of offended that you hid this from me for so long."
"We promised we wouldn't tell anyone about this!"
"Alright, alright." She sighs. “I love you so much, you crackhead. And Jungkook loves you, too. You don’t need to be sad anymore, okay? Just take a shower and go to sleep now.”
You nod weakly.
Maybe she’s right. You’ll have enough time to talk to him tomorrow.
But you don’t think you’ll get any sleep right now.
***
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[you]: jungkook
[you]: can we talk?
[you]: we really really need to talk
[you]: can i go to your place?
[you]: please
[you]: i know you’re reading 
[you]: stop ignoring me
[you]: jungkook
[you]: JUNGKOOK
You sigh heavily. This is so frustrating. He didn’t even leave you on read - you’re sure he’s just reading the texts on the notifications and swiping them away. He didn’t block your number, which is a good sign, but this is already getting on your nerves. You’ve been texting since early in the morning (because you couldn’t sleep) and it’s already 5PM.
“He’s ignoring my texts.” You whine to Seulgi as you enter the living room. 
“You said he had things to do today, right? Maybe he’s actually busy.” She says as she checks her makeup on the mirror. It’s been a long time since you saw her getting all pretty like this; she did her nails, made curls on her hair, put on that green skirt she bought months ago but never wore it. This is what being happy and in love looks like. Pretty, well-dressed, nice hair, healthy skin and all.
Meanwhile, your hair looks like a bird nest, you’re wearing the ugly Naruto t-shirt you have since middle school, your entire face is swollen and you have bags under your eyes. This is also what being in love looks like, unfortunately.
“Why don’t you just go to his apartment already?”
“You told me not to do it.”
“I told you not to do it yesterday. Today he’s not drunk anymore.”
You cross your arms. “I’m… I’m still kind of nervous.”
Seulgi turns around and looks at you and quirks her eyebrow. There’s the ghost of a smirk on her lips. “I never thought I’d see you nervous because of anyone. You look like a teenager…”
"I swear to God, if you say that you think I look cute one more time I'll fucking kill you."
Seulgi laughs and runs to you again, putting her hands on your shoulders. "Y/N, do you remember how you were always telling me that I was complicating simple things?"
"Yes."
She lifts her eyebrows. "So."
You roll your eyes and huff. "But it's not that easy!"
"Now you understand how I felt, huh?" Her eyes soften again. "For real, though. If you show up at his door he won't ignore you, I'm sure. Just go."
You sigh again and nod. "You're right. Just… let me build some courage, okay?"
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" She looks a bit worried. "I could go out with Irene another day."
"No, no. Go on your date." You wave your hands. "I'm not gonna die. Also, your pussy must be dusty after so long-"
She smacks your shoulder a bit too strongly as you let yourself laugh for the first time today. 
When Seulgi leaves, you still stand in the middle of the living room for a good while. Like a Sim whose action has just been cancelled.
Whoever is playing you is really evil for putting all the wrong people in the wrong places past night.
You know that you’re not being rational. You should have gone to his house a long time ago… but something holds you back. Perhaps because now there’s no turning back. You know what you feel for Jungkook and you know what he feels for you - your relationship got completely out of its comfort zone, and now you can’t even pretend anymore. Things won’t ever be the same. 
Maybe Jungkook is ignoring you because he’s embarrassed of what Mike did. He basically exposed you two in front of his friends. Sure, that’s none of no one’s business, but still… Jungkook didn’t want anyone to know about it in the first place.
You stare at your phone for a good while. Your reflection on the phone’s screen stares back at you in disgust.
For the hundredth time today, you unlock it and open Jungkook’s number. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard hesitantly.
[you]: jungkook i know youre mad at me and you have all the rights to be but
You frown and delete the text. It doesn’t sound good.
[you]: can you stop being dramatic and just text me back already?
You feel tempted to send this one, but if Jungkook’s angry, this will only make the situation worse. You sigh and try again one more time
[you]: i just really want to talk. you didnt let me speak last night. i know youre probably busy but please. i wont take much of your time
This one sounds about right. You tap the send button.
Then, your fingers mindlessly type one more text. It makes your heart beat fast just looking at it.
[you]: i love you too
You want to send this one so bad.
But you don’t.
Because this isn’t something to be told by text.
Coward! the angry voice of your consciousness yells in your mind. Stop being a coward! You’re an evolved human being, not a stupid teenager! Get this ass up the couch and go meet him!
You get up in a jump.
“I’m not a coward!” you say out loud. If you weren’t this out of your mind, you would have noticed how stupid it was to scream encouraging words by yourself in the living room.
But you don’t care right now.
You don’t care that your face is all puffy and the dark circles around your eyes make you look like a raccoon. You don’t care that you’re wearing your ulgy Naruto t-shirt with old ketchup stains, and you don’t care that you’re wearing the sweatpants that fall down your butt as you walk, and you don’t care that your hair looks like a living animal.
You just straight out leave your home and march to his. Flip flops and all.
Your heart beats at a stupid race as you walk, the sun already disappearing behind the buildings. The anxious part of your brain keeps reminding you that you don’t know what to say when you meet him and you don’t know what his reaction will be, but you shut this whiny voice up. Being with Jungkook always meant that you didn’t have to think a lot in the first place. Being with him is natural, it takes no effort. When you see him you’ll know what to say. You’re sure.
Yet, you can’t help but feel more and more nervous as you enter his apartment building (you never needed to ask permission to enter). You close your hands in fists, gulp multiple times, your heartbeat sounds like drums on your ears.
Your hand hovers over the door.
“Shit,” you whisper to yourself. It’s real. It’s happening. Come on. Don’t be a coward.
After taking one more deep breath, you finally knock on the door.
There’s noise inside. Steps. Fuck, you’re shaking.
You hear the sound of the door unlocking and you hold your breath ready to face him-
Jimin.
He widens his eyes and blinks.
“Oh. Hi, Jimin.” you say awkwardly. Why is he looking at you this way? “Hm, is Jungkook home?”
Jimin looks hesitant for a moment.
“No.”
It’s your turn to widen your eyes. So that’s why he isn't texting you back. This makes you a bit relieved.
“Is… is he working?” You can’t hide your disappointment.
“Not yet. He starts tomorrow.”
You put your hands on your waist and walk from side to side as Jimin just watches you in silence.
“Jimin, at what time he’ll be home tomorrow? Do you think it’ll be too late in the night? I really need to talk to him, but that fucker keeps ignoring my texts.”
You don’t like the face Jimin is making now.
You really don’t like it.
He scratches the back of his neck and frowns. “He… he didn’t tell you?”
This makes you stop.
“Tell me what?”
Jimin exhales and gulps.
“He told you that he’ll start working for Mr. Choi, right? That director.”
“Yes.” Each word of his makes you more and more worried. 
“So… this project he’s involved in…” Jimin licks his lips before continuing. “It’s overseas.”
You stare at him in silence as this information sinks in.
“Overseas?! Are you telling me he fucking left the country?!”
“Yes.”
You can’t believe what you just heard.
“B-But- yesterday Jungkook and I were planning to go out! This makes no sense!”
“Well,” Jimin looks hesitant again. “In fact, his flight is tomorrow morning, but he left earlier because we kind of had an argument.” He sends you an apologetic gaze. “He was drunk yesterday and all and I was trying to calm him down and I might have accidentally let it slip that I knew about you two, and this kinda pissed him off even more because, well, he was drunk and you know how Jungkook gets stupid when he’s drunk, so I think he left to his parent’s house and he’ll head to the airport tomo- wait, are you crying?!”
You sniff and hide your face behind your hands.
“Oh my God,” Jimin sounds confused and borderline panicked as he watches you start sobbing again. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“B-Because h-he-!” you can’t fucking speak anymore.
Jimin puts a hand on your back and guides you to sit on the couch. He brings some tissues and pats your back awkwardly as you cry and sob like stupid. 
“W-Why didn’t he tell me he was l-leaving?” you ask yourself. 
Jimin sighs. “Y/N, it’s not like he’s leaving forever. It’s just for this project. He’ll be back by the end of the week.”
“B-But he would’ve told me something so important!” You blow your nose. Jimin frowns. “I didn’t know this project was so huge! What, is it a movie or something?”
“It’s a music video.” You stare at Jimin in disbelief. “Jungkook has been around the recording studio with Namjoon and Yoongi a lot. He ended up meeting Mr. Choi, who has been directing some music videos for Big Hit Records’ artists. He liked Jungkook’s work and invited him to work as an assistant… I mean, the assistant of the assistant, as Jungkook himself said.”
You exhale, feeling your shoulders drop. “Why didn’t he tell me this?”
Jimin’s eyes soften. “Your friendship hasn’t been in the best shape these days, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”
You rest your elbows on your legs and hide your face behind your hands again. You didn’t want to be crying this bad again, yet you just can’t stop. You don’t even know why you’re crying anymore. Jimin just caresses your back in silence as your sobs start quieting down.
“You were right,” you say at some point.
“What?”
“When you told me not to hurt him. I was hurting him and I didn’t even realize. I’m so stupid.”
Jimin tilts his head. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Y/N. You were both stupid.” You side eye him.
“Jungkook said that he’s in love with me.” This makes him quirk his eyebrows.
“Oh.”
“You don’t look very surprised.”
“I’m not.”
“Did… did he tell you?”
“No.”
“Was it that obvious?”
Jimin presses his lips together hesitantly. “Do you want me to comfort you or do you want me to be honest?”
“Be honest.”
“It was pretty fucking obvious that he’s in love with you. At least for me.” 
You exhale and swipe your hands over your face. “I’m so stupid!” you repeat.
“Look, Y/N, to be honest, I think Jungkook is the most stupid. He was torturing himself with this fuck buddies thing, you know? He agreed to it in the first place. Everyone knows that this type of thing shouldn’t involve feelings, but he was the one to throw himself into it while he already had feelings.”
“It’s not like he’s the only one, though.”
Jimin seems about to say something, but he stops and stares at you, jaw-dropped.
“Wait, what do you mean?”
You rest your back on the couch. “I mean that I was also stupid enough to throw myself into it while having feelings.”
He’s quiet for a few more seconds.
“Do you mean that you like him back?”
You don’t answer. 
Much like Seulgi, it looks like Jimin just discovered something world-shocking. “Since when? Have you liked him since the beginning?”
You sigh sadly.
“No, I haven’t. To me, it was just fun. Until I realized that he was getting too far from my reach and- and I realized that Jungkook has never been too far, never, and I don’t know what to do when he’s not around.” You sniff. You’re not talking to Jimin anymore at this point; you’re talking to yourself. “Y-You know, now that I think about it, I… I guess I understand why it was always so good. Not just because he fucks good or because of his big dick-”
“I don’t need to hear this, do I?” Jimin whines in disgust.
“-but because it was him.” One more tear rolls down your cheek. “It was good because it was with him.”
The way you always felt comfortable to be naked in front of him. How it was always lighthearted and fun and exciting. You had good sex with other people before, but never like this. Maybe because these other people didn’t have Jungkook’s handsome smile or because their eyes didn’t gleam with excitement the way his does or because they didn't smell like baby powder. Or maybe because it was never scary to be exposed in front of him because he already knew everything about you - there wasn’t really anything else to expose. 
Jungkook felt like home.
Now, you feel homeless.
You wipe the tears away once more and look at Jimin-
“Why are you smiling?”
Doesn’t this scene look familiar?
“I’m sorry, it’s just that- wow, I don’t even know what to say.” Jimin doesn’t even try to hide his smile. “I’ve been waiting so long for this. Like, I kind of suspected that you had feelings for him, but I couldn’t be sure because you’re a hard bitch to read. To be honest, when I saw what you two were doing I wanted to kill you because you couldn’t be this blind to not realize how he feels about you-”
“Can you stop being honest for a moment?”
“Oh.” Jimin gulps, but he can’t stop smiling. “I’m sorry.”
You sigh again and cross your arms. “What if he never lets me explain myself, Jimin?”
“Stop the drama.” Jimin’s voice hardens suddenly. “You two are very similar in this sense, you know? I’m sure that Jungkook will listen to whatever you have to say. And he’ll be away for just four days! It’s not like he’s leaving forever.”
You sit there in silence for some moments. You’re sure that if you tell that you’re scared to talk to Jungkook, he will probably beat you up. He never had that much patience.
Jimin exhales heavily and gets up. “Wait a minute.” You watch as he walks into Jungkook’s empty bedroom, frowning. He stays there for a little while. When he comes back to the living room, he stops in front of you and hands you something.
“Jungkook’s gonna kill me when he finds out, but I don’t care.” 
“What is this-?”
“Just take it already. And watch it when you’re back home. It’s so personal that I got uncomfortable the first time I watched it.”
“Then why are you giving it to me-?”
“Just fucking take it, Y/N!”
You take the small device before Jimin makes you swallow it. 
He smiles sweetly.
“Everything will be fine, okay? Don’t worry. I’m always right.”
You stare at the small black pen drive in between your fingers.
This time, you genuinely hope he’s right.
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You had honestly forgotten how it feels to get drunk. 
At the same time that the dizziness feels familiar, it's also hitting you like a truck. Your friends didn't believe you when you said that you'd stop drinking, yet you've been loyal to your word. Of course, it's not like you didn't drink anything in all those months, but a single beer isn't the same as a pack of beer.
The way your body's responding to the alcohol in your system isn't right. Your stomach is already tangling around itself, you can't walk a straight line from the couch to the kitchen counter without feeling that there's holes opening on the floor, and your thoughts are more incomprehensible than usual. You'd usually not get drunk so fast - and surely not with just beer. You're the girl that was still very sober after many tequila shots that time a random date of yours was trying to get you drunk - he ended up drunk after a few shots, of course, and you left the son of a bitch alone while he vomited on himself.
Being in love sure has changed you a lot.
Look, it's not the first time you drink to forget about your problems. You've been doing that since high school and you're tired of hearing Jungkook say how this behavior is unhealthy (he's right, as usual). This time, though, you're not forgetting about your problems, you're just thinking about them more.
It doesn't help that you're listening to Seulgi's playlist on Spotify called "i miss you irene." You laughed your ass off when you found out she really made a heartbreak playlist and named it like that. "You're torturing yourself, Seulgi," you told her. I mean, why would someone sad listen to songs that will only make them more sad?
Well.
Here you are now, laying on the carpet as Spending my Time by Roxette is blasting on the speakers.
People really knew how to write heartbreak songs back in the 90s.
"Fuck you, Jungkook." you mumble, staring at the ceiling. "I'm shoving alcohol up my ass. You can't tell me what to do."
Jungkook, that fucker. Why didn’t he listen to you? Why didn’t you shut him up? If there was a way to go back in time you’d do it. You wouldn’t have kissed Taehyung, you wouldn’t let him get the wrong impression. You wouldn’t have encouraged Jungkook to be with Joy. Fuck, if you could go back in time you would have woken up that first morning in Jungkook’s bed and said that it meant a lot to sleep with him, that you were willing to not be just friends anymore.
(Of course, back then you didn’t feel that way, but you’re drunk and sad. Give yourself a break.)
Now, you can’t tell him what you feel because he’s somewhere overseas. He probably bought new clothes for such an important occasion. You imagine him being in a real set for the first time, his eyes gleaming as he watches the staff working, him trying to hold his excited smile back because he’s supposed to look professional and-
You sniff. You have a stuffy nose. Fuck.
You're so drunk that you can't really control your actions anymore. If Seulgi were here, she would probably stop you. But she's not here. She's somewhere with Irene.
So you take your phone, tap the Instagram app and start typing.
[@you]: hell o 😅😂🤣😊
[@you]: its been a log time how u doing???
[@you]: what if we meeet????
And unfortunately, she replies.
[@yerimiese]: hi 🤗
[@yerimiese]: yeah, sure!
[@yerimiese]: when can we meet?
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It’s the back pain that makes you wake up the next day because you slept on the floor. You’re dizzy and confused, your poor brain trying to understand what’s happening, why you’re on the floor, why there’s so many empty beer cans around you and why your phone is flashing with notifications from last night.
When your sight finally adjusts to the light your phone screen produces, your eyes widen and you stand up in a jump, making your back ache even more.
Did you seriously DM Yeri and she seriously agreed to meet you?!
It’s currently 11:40 AM - and you agreed to meet at noon. 
You run to your bedroom so fast that it makes you dizzy and you end up hitting your hip against the doorframe and it feels like you fucking broke it. You just have time to wear the first clean clothes you see laying around, tie your hair up and run to take the first bus you see.
You could’ve just told Yeri that you weren’t going anymore, of course, even though she agreed to meet you and it would’ve been kind of rude. You know it’s going to be the most awkward moment ever to see her after so long, especially now that you have feelings for her ex. Gosh - you’re already feeling so much embarrassment that you feel like jumping out of the bus and running back home. Why the fuck do you always end up doing stupid things when you’re drunk?!
But again - it’s that same chaotic side of you that makes you stay inside the bus and meet her. This chaotic side takes a good portion of your personality, it just gets more outgoing when you’re drunk. The same chaotic side that made you start some friends with benefits bullshit with your best friend just because you liked the idea of not being caught and the same chaotic side that made you passive aggressively flirt with Taehyung when you didn’t really want anything with him-
How the fuck did your friends even stand you?!
You’re forced to stop the existential crisis when you see that you arrived at the park. You feel a shiver run down your spine.
Yeri is sitting on the bus stop. 
She looks prettier than you remember; her hair is short and blonde now, which makes her look more mature. Yeri was always one to walk around well dressed, but right now it feels almost humiliating that she's all pretty when you literally look like a scarecrow. 
She smiles awkwardly and gets up. You didn't even say anything yet and it already feels awkward.
"I’m so sorry, Yeri,” is the first thing you say as you approach each other. “Did I make you wait too long?”
“No! It’s alright. I also got a little bit late.” She says, smiling prettily. Pretty is a word that overall describes her very well. “So, how you’re doing?”
“I’m doing fine!” You’re doing anything but fine at the moment. “What about you?”
“I’m fine, too.”
Silence.
My good Lord.
You start to regret all of your life choices right here and right now. You don’t see this girl in almost a year, you’re not close anymore, you know nothing about her life. Why the fuck did you even come anyway?! The awkwardness is so big that you can almost touch it.
There’s also a small and annoying thought that grows as you watch her - a thought you try very hard to ignore, but you can’t - that this is the girl Jungkook used to fuck before he started fucking you, that he used to go down on her and that he used to be inside of her and that those pretty lips of her once were around his cock and for some reason you start getting really angry-
“Do you wanna have a drink?” Yeri suddenly says.
You blink. “Hm… it’s 12PM.”
“And?” She quirks an eyebrow.
She’s perceptive, this one. Nothing’s better to break the ice than alcohol. 
You don’t even know what you’re doing here anyway, so who cares?
“Sure. I know a bar nearby.”
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Yeri slams the empty glass on the counter and stares at you, shocked.
“Mike did what?!”
You nod and swallow one more shot. Your tastebuds are so used (even calloused) from this bitter taste that you don’t even scowl as the drink slides down your throat. “Yeah. It seems that he was cheating on me for a while with that bitch. I caught them inside the lab.”
Yeri stares ahead. She looks speechless. “I will be honest… I heard that he was cheating on you, but I never thought this happened.” She shakes her head slowly. “Why the fuck were they inside a lab anyways? Are they stupid?”
“The lab was deactivated. That part of the science building was being renovated.” You sigh. Reviving those memories is kind of painful right now, especially after what Mike did to you some nights ago. Honestly, he could die and you wouldn’t care. “I was looking for him. His friends told me he went in that direction… well, kinda weird that they snitched on him like that. Maybe they really didn’t know. Anyways, I still don’t know how they got the key to the lab.”
Yeri nods. “Wow… I am really, really shocked. You guys were a pretty couple.” She gesticulates with her hand. “One more shot, please.”
“Me too, please.” You say.
The bartender looks at you two with visible worry. There’s no one else in the bar - who the fuck drinks so much this early? Wait, why is this bar even opened this early? - so he’s obviously hearing your whole conversation. You wonder what’s his opinion on your fucked up love life.
“Are you sure, girls? Shouldn’t you slow down a little bit?” He asks hesitantly.
You wave your hand dismissively. “Nah, we’re good.” You’re still not dizzy, just a little talkative. Getting drunk yesterday seemed to awaken all of your high tolerance superpowers. Pretty Yeri also isn’t one to get drunk that easily.
“We’re strong girls.” She reassures. The bartender shrugs as he prepares two more shots. “You seemed to like him a lot.” 
“I did.” You admit. 
“And he seemed to like you, too. I never expected that. Well… to be honest, Jungkook sometimes told me that he didn’t like Mike and that he was sure that he wasn’t a good guy.”
The sudden mention of his name makes you freeze. You realize that Yeri freezes, too. It seems that she’s also surprised for bringing him up like this. Yeri looks down at the new shot the bartender just placed in front of you two.
“It seems that he was right. As usual.” She finishes in a much lower voice, drinking her shot in one go.
This single sentence makes you realize that “Jungkook” is still a delicate topic for her. Of course it’d be - you don’t know much about their break up, but you sure know it was anything but friendly. Jungkook got pretty fucked up for a few weeks after their break up - and the fact that he refuses to talk about it to this day is enough of an indication.
Shit.
“Anyways, it didn’t stop there.” You decide to go back to your suffering for now, so she can get distracted. “The day before yesterday I bumped into him. He was drunk and made a scandal. Called me a bitch in front of everyone.”
Yeri gasps and looks at you wide eyed. “What? Please, tell me someone punched the fuck out of him!”
“Yeah, my friend did before I could.” You’re not telling her which friend, of course. “It was satisfying. Still made me feel really bad, though.”
“You shouldn’t. You did nothing wrong, Y/N. He’s the son of a bitch here.” Yeri reassures. 
You nod and drink. “But enough of talking about my depressing love life. What about you?”
Yeri sighs, holding the small cup with both hands. “I’m doing fine, I guess. Didn’t really get serious with anyone yet. I’m seeing a guy, though. I don’t think I like him yet, but he’s about right. Who knows?” She says, shrugging.
You nod slowly. We’re getting into dangerous waters now. “I’m glad we’re both moving on, I guess.”
Yeri goes quiet for a while.
“Yeah. I guess so.”
A deep silence settles after this. You stare at the empty cup blankly, feeling the tension building up.
"I… have to be honest." Yeri starts quietly. "It was surprising that you called me after so long." She taps her nails on the counter slowly. "And I have the feeling that you called me for a very specific reason."
You nod slowly. She's not stupid. "You're right."
Yeri hesitates for a second. "You didn't… Jungkook didn't ask you to come here to talk to me, right?"
You almost gasp. Jungkook doesn't even dream that you're with her right now. "No, no. He didn't. You know I'm kinda nosy, but I have my limits too."
Yeri quirks her eyebrows and nods. You really hope that this tiny thing you saw deep in her eyes wasn't disappointment. You really hope that deep down Yeri doesn't still like him.
"So… why did you call me, then?"
You sigh. She came all this way just to meet you, so you have to at least be honest right now.
"I was drunk yesterday when I texted you."
"Oh." Yeri widens her eyes. "I thought there was something wrong with you by the way you were texting."
You chuckle. "But… I did call you because of Jungkook, somehow." You say carefully, She stiffens. "I know it's kinda cruel to do this. If you want to simply leave or if you want to slap me, I won't judge you. But… we had a really ugly fight these days and I don't know what to do. I was hoping that maybe… maybe you could help me understand him."
Yeri goes very, very quiet after this.
"Did you guys fight because of me?" She asks after a while.
"No and yes." Yeri was one of the things that got you overthinking anyways. "I… I really need to know. Again, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to. But… why did you guys break up?"
Yeri turns her head slowly to look at you. There's something very serious and hardened on her eyes.
"He never told you." It wasn't a question. You shake your head. "Well, I figured he wouldn't." She looks back to the cup between her hands; you can see she's thinking hard. "Y/N, I always admired your friendship with him. What you have is something truly special. Maybe you won't want to know why. Maybe I don't want to tell you because I don't want to destroy your friendship."
"My relationship with Jungkook won't ever go back to what it used to be anyways. I don't care." 
Yeri looks surprised. She still hesitates for some moments - what makes your blood boil in expectation - but finally sighs and nods.
"Alright, then." She crosses her arms. "I broke up with him because of you."
You stare at her, jaw dropped.
"What? What did I do?" You ask, genuinely confused.
"You did nothing." She chuckles drily. "That's why I couldn't hate you, you know. And I tried to hate you really hard."
You don't know what to say. Some girls Jungkook had some sort of relationship with were very jealous of you, you knew, but Yeri was different. "Were you… were you jealous of me and him? But Yeri- you know we weren't like that."
This is not a lie. You weren't like that while they still dated. You were too stupidly in love with Mike to notice the person that was standing right by your side all along.
"I know." She nods. "I know you didn't. But Jungkook did."
You freeze.
"What?"
Yeri finally looks at you again - clear sadness on her eyes.
"Jungkook loves you. Not in a way a friend does."
You’re absolutely speechless.
Your heart is beating so fast that you think you’re about to faint. Your brain malfunctions and it seems that you lost the ability to speak for a few moments. This shouldn’t shock you - Jungkook confessed his feelings himself not long ago, and Jimin also said how he knew about Jungkook’s feelings - goddamn, even Seulgi noticed it a little bit. But back then? When he was still dating Yeri?
“B-But Yeri-” you hate the way you’re stuttering and you hate how Yeri is telling you something she obviously doesn’t like, but you still feel so fucking happy and fuzzy inside. “Jungkook was in love with you. I’m sure.”
“I thought so, too. And he thought he was in love with me.” Yeri stares ahead again, and in this moment you realize that yes, it still hurts her. “You know… Jungkook was too much like a dream.” She chuckles to herself, as if she can’t believe in what she’s saying. “He was perfect in every sense. His good looks, the way he was always so sweet… God, even the way he’s in bed.” Yes, he’s unbeatable in bed, you want to agree. “Too perfect to be true.”
Yeri goes quiet again for a while. She stares at the cup as if it’s showing her something important she can’t look away from.
“I started to realize why it was so perfect.” Her voice sounds painfully fragile. “He was trying too hard. Always trying his best. At first I thought that it was a good thing… We all want someone that’s always trying their best for you, right? But then… then, I started to watch how he acted when he was around you. Y-You know what’s worst in all this? It’s not like you two gave me actual reason to be jealous. You were never touchy around each other. You were even dating back then, and you two avoided going out together because Mike and Jungkook never got along well. I know it.” She sounds like she wants to cry. It makes you feel really, really bad. 
“But… fuck, it was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around. With you, he wasn’t trying anything. He didn’t need to try. I saw how he was so comfortable around you and… well, I didn’t need to be a genius to understand that he was so stupidly in love with you that it got him blind.” Yeri inhales and exhales deeply. “Jungkook was too much like a dream. But everyone has to wake up sometime, and I didn’t want to be there when he woke up from his. So I left him before I could get any more hurt.”
You can just stare at her, jaw dropped, adrenaline making your breathing shaky.
“Yeri, I never… I didn’t…” you stupidly stutter.
“I know you didn’t.” She nods. “I even pitied Jungkook, you know. Because he didn’t want to see what he really felt, and because you obviously didn’t feel the same.” Yeri chuckles. “That’s why I can’t hate you. That’s also what gave me some sense of revenge. At least he’s suffering a little bit.”
You’re both very, very quiet for some time.
“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. She doesn’t know you’re apologizing for putting her under the torture of telling those memories that are still painful for her. You weren’t expecting that Yeri still felt so affected by her past relationship even after so long. 
“You don’t need to apologize.” She shakes her head slowly. “It wasn’t meant to be. That’s all. We would both keep suffering like that.” Yeri exhales again and looks at you. “Well… I guess I’m going now. I really hope I didn’t completely kill your relationship with him.”
She didn’t.
She quite helped to save it, actually.
Yeri takes some money from her purse and puts it over the counter, paying for her drinks. As she gets up from the stool, you say:
“Thank you for telling me, Yeri. I really wish you all the happiness you deserve.”
The blonde girl opens a small smile. You see why Jungkook fell - well, at least thought he fell - for her. Maybe Yeri doesn’t know it, but she also looks like a dream. You just hope she’ll find someone that will wake her up to see the most beautiful, warm and lovely reality.
“Thanks. See you around.”
She leaves.
You just sit there, all alone, staring at the counter.
Well- not exactly alone.
The bartender is furiously side-eyeing you.
“What?” You ask drily.
He presses his lips together. “I don’t think I should say anything…”
You tilt your head. “Go ahead. You heard everything anyway.”
The bartender stops in front of you. There’s something wise about him. That’s probably the result of hearing hundreds and hundreds of love stories every night - day, in your case.
“That dude you guys were talking about,” he says. “Your friend. You like him, right?”
You stare at him seriously. “Why would you think that?”
“Because your eyes lit up so much as she talked that I thought you were going to explode.”
Fuck. You can’t even pretend anymore. You avoid his gaze, embarrassed, and nod. “I do.”
He lifts his eyebrows. “Then, and excuse my intrusive ass, what the fuck are you waiting for?” He almost looks annoyed, as if he’s having to explain something painfully obvious. “Go after him, woman!”
You stare at him. 
He’s right.
What the fuck are you waiting for?
Oh, right. You’re waiting until he comes back, because he’s fucking overseas.
It makes you so, so angry. After everything you just heard, after everything you’re feeling right now, you wanted nothing more but to run to him and make him listen to you. You want to see him, to hug him, to make him understand that he’s your most important person in the world, that you can’t see yourself in a world where he isn’t around.
But guess what - you’ll have to wait three days to meet him. 
You look so grumpy on your way back home that people deliberately avoid looking at you. Seulgi and Irene are there when you arrive; Seulgi looks worried, Irene looks confused, you just decide to say you’re alright and lock yourself inside your bedroom because you can’t physically look at a happy couple right now.
You throw yourself on the bed and scream against a pillow.
If someone told you you’d be feeling so many things when all of this started, you wouldn’t have believed. You were always someone to continuously keep the fuck it button pressed - or at least, you pretended you did. Like that, you could trick your heart into believing you weren’t hurt by some jerk who cheated on you, that you didn’t feel like a piece of shit for drowning your problems in alcohol, that you didn’t care that most of your “friends” just cared about you when it came to parties and having fun, that there was never really anyone that truly took you seriously in a relationship.
It’s really easy to pretend those things aren’t real. But it’s just like Yeri said - one moment, everyone has to wake up. To you, waking up means facing the consequences of your actions, to face your feelings.
And it really hurts right now.
It also reminds you that the person you’d usually let your guard down for was Jungkook. You were never embarrassed to be weak in front of him - and it was the other way round. You were always in tune. Always in synergy.
This makes you remember the little black pen drive laying on the nightstand.
You sit in a jump, taking your laptop and the pen drive. Just feeling the device between your fingers makes you feel nervous… that’s why you still didn’t check what’s inside of it yet. Jimin said it was something personal. You’ve been hesitating to see whatever it is.
It can’t be bad, can it?
You plug the pen drive in your laptop. 
The files tab pops up. There’s actually only one file inside the pen drive - a video. It’s called euphoria final test i swear to god. 
You chuckle. This is so Jungkook. 
Your finger still hovers over the touchpad hesitantly. It looks like one of Jungkook’s test videos - you’ve seen plenty of those. Nothing new. Nothing to be scared of. You double click. 
The video opens up and fills up the screen.
It’s a vertical video recorded on selfie mode. Jungkook is walking down the university hall; he has a playful smile on his lips. The video shows you walking by his side, a grumpy expression on your face.
You remember this. He actually posted this on his Instagram stories around one year ago. His hair was way shorter back then. Why does he still have something so silly?
“Y/N’s team lost the championship.” Jungkook says. Of course he looks happy. He roots for the rival team. “How are you feeling right now?”
“Fuck you.” Is all you say.
Jungkook laughs loudly.
Another video.
A song kicks in.
It starts with the sweet melody of a piano. You frown, not recognizing this song at all. 
Then the voice of the singer kicks in, and you feel your whole body freezing.
It’s Jungkook’s voice.
He sounds soft and angelic as you’ve always known - only this time, through professional mics and mixing. This itself is already shocking. You always felt blessed for being one of the few people to know of Jungkook’s singing ability, but this is different. He sounds like a professional singer, someone that makes a living out of it.
You remember Namjoon’s voice.
Hah, Jungkook didn’t tell you yet? He has been working with us! We’re doing a good job. He lent his voice to record some demos.
You then remember what Jungkook told you.
I… I kind of helped them write a song. I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.
Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.
Is… is this the song he was talking about?
Jungkook’s sweet voice sings:
You are the sunlight that rose again in my life
A reincarnation of my childhood dreams
I don’t know what these emotions are
Am I still dreaming?
Your breathing is irregular. Your fingers are shaking slightly. 
Because as if his voice wasn’t enough to singlehandedly make you feel completely lost, the video is still passing on.
Videos of you.
You sitting on the university’s library, reading a book. You crying that time you ate tacos that were way too spicy, Jungkook’s laughter from behind his phone ringing softly over the song. You playing Just Dance with Seulgi, ridiculously trying to follow the doll’s moves on the TV. You running after Jungkook down the hall as he laughs because he stole your last cookie. You dancing around your kitchen as you prepare breakfast. You and him singing to Staying Alive that night at Burger King, both of you visibly drunk. Your shocked reaction as you watched a plot twist unfold on the TV - an anime he insisted so much for you to watch that you ended up watching.
I hear the ocean from far away
Across the dream, past the woods
I'm following this clarity
Take my hands now
You are the cause of my euphoria
You remember some of those videos. He posted some of them on his Instagram or Snapchat. Some of them you sent him yourself. Some of them, though, you had no idea that existed. Videos of you doing… nothing. Scrolling down your phone. Reading a book. Watching TV. Some of them look more professional - those are from the times you accepted to be his “model” so he could test his techniques, yet he never let you see any of those videos.
Just you.
You, you, you and you.
Were you wandering around
Looking for an erased dream too?
It’s different from what destiny suggests
We share the same painful views
Won't you please stay in my dreams
Yes, both of you had erased dreams. Your erased dream was Mike. His erased dream was Yeri.
Jungkook thought that you would never be more than friends. What he felt, though, was different from what he thought destiny suggested.
The way you drifted apart from each other. The pain you went through, watching your friendship slowly die. You shared the same painful views.
You don’t know at what moment you start to cry, but now, tears are freely dripping down your cheeks.
Even if the earth crumbles
No matter who shakes this world
Don't let go of my hand
Please don’t wake me up from this dream
You remember that time you were looking at the pictures Jungkook took at a wedding, and you noticed how the groom looked at his future wife with overflowing love. You wondered to yourself if someone has ever looked - or ever would - look at you the same way.
Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.
It was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around. 
You’re not seeing him in this video.
Yet, it shows how Jungkook sees you. And you can’t help but think… in his eyes, you look beautiful.
He sings beautifully. Passionately.
Take my hands now
You are the cause of my euphoria
Euphoria
Close the door now
When I’m with you I’m in utopia
As the song slowly ends, the screen shows a last shot from a very old video you didn’t even remember. It’s from your graduation day from high school… actually, a video your mother recorded. The difference is clear from how shaky the camera is. You can’t help but think you look too goofy in your old school uniform.
“Y/N, it’s your graduation day! Next year you’ll live by yourself in a big city!”
“Thanks God. Less bills to pay for,” you hear your father jokingly say somewhere out of sight. You roll your eyes, but still laugh.
“Thank you so much, Dad. I see how much you love me.”
“But I love you, sweetie!”
“Shut up, darling. I’m trying to do an interview.” Your mother shushes him. “So, how do you feel, Y/N?”
You look thoughtful for a moment. That stupid teenager on the screen looks so full of hopes and courage. So young, so naive. “I’m a little bit scared, but I’m excited.” You say. 
Then you smile, as if remembering something very important.
“Besides, Jungkook will live next to me, so I’ll be alright.”
The video ends.
You just sit there, sobbing uncontrollably for the next few minutes.
When you clicked that file, you never expected this.
You never expected to feel so loved with just a video.
At the same time, it makes an urge - the strongest urge you’ve ever felt in your life - flow through you. You need to tell Jungkook how wrong those lyrics are.
He doesn’t have to keep dreaming anymore. You’ve woken up from your own dream - and you’re ready to show him the real world in which you love him back, unconditionally.
Irene and Seulgi look worried as they see you marching out of your bedroom, sniffling, tears streaming down your cheeks. Before Irene can say anything, you put both hands on her shoulders and look at her seriously.
“Remember when you said you owed me one? That you’d help me with whatever I needed?”
Irene starts to look scared. “Yes.”
“Were you serious?”
“Of course!”
“Good. Then I need you to buy a flight ticket for me. Today.”
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“Are you sure that’s the right hotel, Jimin?” you ask out of breath, your phone almost falling as you balance it between your ear and your shoulder, your hands busy holding your passport and flight ticket. You, Irene and Seulgi run inside the airport, looking like three crazy women in a dangerous mission - which isn’t too far from reality.
“I’m sure, Y/N!” Jimin says through the phone, starting to sound a little bit annoyed. “God, you asked me this a hundred times!”
“But I need to be sure! Can’t you ask him once again?”
“He will start to get suspicious. I already had to make up one hell of an excuse to make him tell me which room he’s in without sounding creepy.”
“Room 23, right?”
“Room 32!”
“So, is he sure that’s the right hotel?” Irene asks.
“Yes.”
She clicks something on her phone. “Good. It’s not too far from the airport. You’re lucky there was a room available!”
“Are you sure about this, Y/N?” Seulgi asks, looking borderline panicked. “You’re not going to die if you wait a few days until he comes back.”
“Yes, I am going to die if I wait any longer.”
“So dramatic.” Jimin says over the phone. You can even see him rolling his eyes.
“Shut up!”
“Why are you telling me to shut up?!” Seulgi asks, offended.
“No! I was talking to Jimin!” You finally hold the phone with your hand. “Okay, Jimin. I’m hanging up. Thank you so much for your help.”
“Don’t fucking die out there.” Jimin says, but you can hear the smile on his voice. “Good luck!”
You shove the phone inside your back pocket and turn around to look at them.
“Y/N, I don’t trust you alone in a foreign country.” Seulgi says. She does look panicked.
“I don’t trust myself either, but it’s alright.” You reassure her - but she only looks more nervous. You didn’t even bring a suitcase, choosing to just take a backpack with a few clothes and extremely necessary items. 
Irene takes something from her wallet and hands it to you. “Here’s my credit card. I will text you the password later.”
You widen your eyes. “Irene, that’s not necessary…”
She shrugs in a dismissing demeanour. “Of course it is. How will you survive out there without money?” This kinda reminds you that this is only one of her credit cards and that whatever money you spend won’t really mean much to her. Still, you take the card hesitantly, making a mental promise to not spend more than the utmost necessary. “Your room is booked. You can ask a taxi to take you directly to the hotel. There’s no way to get lost.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” Seulgi says under her breath.
“Seulgi, I will fucking beat you up.” 
“Sorry! I’m nervous!” She admits.
Your gaze softens. “I promise I won’t die, okay?”
She steps closer and hugs you tightly. “Be safe. Huh, you’re so stupid, but this is so romantic! It feels like I’m watching a Netflix romcom movie in real life!”
“Why do you always have to bring Netflix up?” Irene wonders under her breath. Seulgi sends her a menacing glare as she steps back again. “Anyways, if you need anything, please call us. Call us as soon as you get out of the plane. Keep us informed.”
“Okay.” You jump over to hug Irene; she gets visibly surprised, not really the type of person to appreciate a lot of physical contact. “Thank you so much, Irene! You’re saving my life!”
“The same way you saved mine.” She giggles. “Now go, unless you want to lose your flight!”
You wave them goodbye one last time before walking to the check-in area.
Yeah. You know that this is very, very stupid to do. You could wait three days. But when your impulsive, chaotic side takes control, you can’t really hold it back. That’s why you get inside the plane even though you’re really fucking scared of flights, going to a country you know absolutely nothing about. 
But it’s alright. You’ll be with Jungkook, so it’s alright. Even if he rejects you - it’s alright.
Your chaotic side says that you’ll annoy him until he at least listens to you - and this time, you don’t think your chaotic side is all that wrong.
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You get lost.
Which is dumb, because there were lots of information boards around the airport. Maybe that’s why you got lost - too much information, your peanut-sized brain couldn’t process all of that. After walking around the gigantic place for a good thirty minutes, only stopping to buy something very important on a vending machine, you find the exit and the taxi area. The taxi driver sees how desperate you are and it looks like he pities you.
Irene was right; the hotel is only twenty minutes away from the airport. It’s not a super hotel, but it looks like it’s much more expensive than you’d be able to pay (you couldn’t even pay for the flight tickets anyway). 
You get more and more and more and more nervous at each passing minute. You feel like you’re about to fucking explode as the receptionist types something you can’t see. When he gives you the key card for your room, you feel goosebumps run down your spine.
It’s now.
Getting inside the elevator, you press the button to Jungkook’s floor. You don’t even want to drop your things in your own room before meeting him. You’re so nervous that, if you wait a little bit more, you’re sure that you’ll pass out.
Every step of yours on the corridor’s carpeted floor echoes in your ears. Your heart beats furiously. Your hands are trembling slightly and you feel cold in your stomach.
Room 23.
You stand in front of it, frozen.
Oh my God.
As expected, you don’t know what you’ll say when you see him. You tried to plan a speech the entire flight as a way to forget you were thousands of feet away from the ground and how fucking scared it made you, but you couldn’t think of anything.
You inhale and exhale deeply. It’s alright. It’s Jungkook who you’re talking about. You’ve always known how to act around him. Right now it’s no different.
Finally, you knock on the door.
“J-Jungkook?” You call, your voice failing slightly.
No response. 
Weird. Jimin made sure that Jungkook wouldn’t be working anymore at this hour.
“Jungkook, it’s me. Can we… can we talk, please?” You say a little bit louder, knocking on the door once more. You can't hear any noise coming from inside the room. Come on, Jungkook. You have to open the door before any security guard can drag me away from here. 
Your breathing is difficult. Your hands are trembling slightly. It feels that the floor is opening holes under your feet.
"Jungkook, I know you're mad at me. But please… please, let me at least explain myself." It's stupid how you already feel your eyes welling up with tears. Since when you became such a cry baby? Your chest tightens, hurts. "Y-You can't just leave me outside your room like this. Stop being a jerk. I need to tell you… I-I need to tell you that I lo-"
"Y/N?"
You freeze.
You turn around, looking at the exact opposite room in the hallway.
It's him.
Jungkook still holds the doorknob, indicating that he just opened it. He's barefoot, wears shorts and a long sleeved shirt, all black. His damp hair falling slightly over his eyes indicates that he probably just took a shower.
His eyes are so widened that it looks like they're about to pop out of his face.
He sincerely looks at you like you're the weirdest thing he has ever seen in his life. 
"W-What-" he stutters, looking like he can't form a coherent sentence. "What the fuck?!"
You're still frozen in place.
You turn around again, looking at the door you were knocking on.
Room 23.
You look back at Jungkook again - the sign on his door.
Room 32.
"Oh." Is all you can say.
Shame suddenly makes your shoulders weight. You really, really hope there's no one inside Room 23. 
You both stand there, staring at each other with widened eyes like two scared chipmunks. Your neck and face feels very, very hot.
Jungkook looks like he's recovering from the shock. He didn't hear anything you said, apparently. 
"W-What exactly are you doing here?" Jungkook asks, tilting his head to the side. He frowns, looking at you like you're an exotic species. 
"Oh." You repeat. Your brain is malfunctioning. You step closer, simply showing him the plastic bag you're holding. "I-I brought you this."
His eyes go from you to the plastic bag and to you again. 
"It's banana milk." You explain hurriedly. He widens his eyes slightly. "I mean- it's this country's equivalent of banana milk, I guess. It's the closest thing I could buy in the vending machine."
Jungkook raises his hand slowly and takes it. He's moving carefully, as if this exotic species can jump on him and bite him at any moment.
"Did you take a 5 hour flight just to buy me banana milk?" 
"Yes." You agree mindlessly. You feel your entire body burning now. "A-And I also came here to talk, because your dramatic ass didn't let me speak the other day."
Jungkook quirks one eyebrow and crosses his arms slowly. "Alright. I'm listening to you now."
He stares at you very seriously. 
His gaze is overwhelming. It almost feels that you're getting small under his eyes. Gosh - you've been wanting to see him for days, but right now, when he's right in front of you, you can't say a damn thing, your brain completely overheating, your braincells melting. You thought you'd know how to act when you met him - but ha, guess what? You don't.
And that motherfucker is just standing there, waiting for you to speak. Just staring at you.
You hold the doorknob in a swift moment and close the door on his face, just letting enough of it open so he can still hear you.
"What-?" He gasps from inside the room.
"Shut up, okay?! I just can't speak looking at you right now." You hold the doorknob so tightly that your knuckles get white. You hate the way your voice is trembling and you hate the way your sight can't really focus on anything around you - that's just how nervous you are.
Jungkook doesn't say anything. You feel him leaning on the other side of the door, waiting patiently.
You inhale and exhale heavily.
"You got so fucking angry at me when I said you were my best friend that night.” You start, not really knowing where you’re going with this. You don’t even know if it’s possible to convey everything you feel through words only. “But you know, it’s- it’s true. You are my best friend. But what you didn’t let me explain is that you’re not just my best friend.”
Your heartbeat thunders on your ears at each word. You can’t see Jungkook’s expression, and at the same time it helps you keep talking, it also makes you more anxious. 
“Y-You’ve been with me through everything. You were there with me when I broke my arm when we were kids, and you were there to help me when I thought I wouldn’t get into college, and you were there with me to celebrate when I got into college. It’s even embarrassing that you’ve seen all of my lowest moments.” You rest your head on the door, staring at the carpet under your feet. The first tears roll down your cheeks. “You know everything about me and sometimes I hate it. You’re like… fuck, I hate how cheesy this sounds, but you’re like a part of me. A-And you’re the best part, because- I don’t know how to explain, but you’re always the one making my average self want to be more.”
Normal you would never say something like this. You’re far from being an emotional person and you’re shit with words. But right now you’re crying and sniffling and trembling and you can’t shut your mouth anymore.
“Please, you have to believe me. I would never purposefully hurt you. Whenever I see you sad I die a little bit inside, and to know that I was the cause of your sadness is fucking killing me. It’s killing me.” You sob. “I don’t want to be the cause of your sadness ever again. I-I want to return all the good things you’ve done to me. So, please… I know I’m a pain in the ass to deal with, b-but if you’d let me be by your side… if you’d just bear me a little bit longer until I become someone that you’d want to be with-”
Jungkook opens the door. 
You hear him whispering under his breath wait, wait, wait, interrupting you. Gently, he puts his hands on your arms and pulls you inside the room, closing the door right after, so now your back is against the door - right in front of him.
He stares at you, lips parted, eyebrows slightly knitted together. He looks stunned. Very, very confused. And very hopeful.
His starry eyes are welling up with tears.
“What… what do you mean with all this?” Jungkook asks softly. He almost sounds scared. “What do you really mean?”
You stare at him in silence. His beautiful face. His beautiful self. 
You’ve never been so sure about anything in your life.
“I love you.” you confess, your voice cracking slightly. “I-I fucking love you. I’m sorry that I took so long to realize.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen.
The next thing you know is that his lips are against yours.
He drops the plastic bag full of banana milk on the floor, holding the back of your neck with one hand and pressing your body against his with the other. He tastes like toothpaste and tears; you can barely breathe, adrenaline rushing through your bloodstream, your fingers grabbing the strands of his damp hair.
When he finally lets go of your lips, you’re both out of breath and trembling.
Then, he smiles - and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your life.
He wipes the tears away from your cheeks as his own cheeks are wet with tears. His eyes are smiling too, and you think that you want to keep that smile forever.
“Y-You have… you have no idea of how long- how long I dreamed of hearing this,” Jungkook says quietly, his voice cracking a little bit. He giggles, frowning his eyebrows slightly as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing right in front of him. “I can’t believe you took a fucking plane to bring me banana milk! How can I stay mad at you when you do this type of thing?!”
You start giggling too. His warmth, his scent of baby powder, the way his eyes are shining as much as diamonds - this is something you didn’t know you needed, you didn’t know you’d ever have.
“God- I fucking love you, too.”
Your heart feels filled.
You smash your lips on his again.
It’s desperate and intense and makes your senses completely dizzy.
You feel the backpack dropping from your shoulders right before Jungkook lifts you up as if you weigh nothing and you circle your legs around his waist. Without breaking the kiss, he carries you to where the bed is, sitting down with you on his lap. 
Adrenaline and excitement washes over your body in anticipation. It’s even familiar at this point - his gaze clouded with want, your heavy breathings, hands grabbing and caressing everywhere they can find. Jungkook moans quietly against your lips as you grip his hair tightly, humping your clothed core very slowly against his growing erection.
“I missed you so fucking much,” he whispers in that deep voice that makes goosebumps run down your skin, his lips against your neck as he kisses and sucks it. You giggle.
“We fucked just a few days ago,” you point out.
“I miss this everyday. All the time.” 
You hold his face, forcing him to look at you.
You might be shit at words, you might not know how to express yourself that well. But one thing you know better than anyone else is how to make him feel good.
So, softly, you push him back until you’re hovering above him and he’s propped up by his elbows.
You don’t say anything. You just smile and start to take his shirt off.
He doesn’t complain.
Your hands roam his exposed skin as you kiss and suck his neck gently. While your lips are still glued on his neck, one of your hands travels to caress his clothed member. Quiet moans come from the back of his throat. Slowly, you kiss your way down his chest and stomach - until you’re kneeled in front of his opened legs.
Jungkook is breathing heavily in anticipation. Maybe it’s the sole sight of you biting your bottom lip as you manage to get his member free from his boxers and shorts that makes it throb. He has to gulp when he sees you spitting on his dick, the feeling of your spit trickling down his member making goosebumps roam his skin.
You hold his member and start to bump it slowly at first - which makes waves of pure pleasure wash over Jungkook, stunning his senses. He hisses when your lips envelop the head of his cock, sucking it. His eyes are half lidded, lips slightly parted, Adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps. He looks so beautiful as he’s being pleasured.
You start taking more of him inside your mouth until you feel him on your throat; Jungkook moans louder. You bob your head up and down his length, taking turns between sucking and bumping his member with your hand, your spit making it easier and producing obscene sounds. Jungkook hisses and groans and moans and then he’s grabbing your hair, making you take more of him inside your mouth. You don’t complain. You just want to make him feel the best he has ever felt.
This time, though, it’s being much quieter than what it usually is. Jungkook just swears a little under his breath. No dirty talking. 
His face and neck are covered with blush, a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead, his face distorted with pure pleasure. His moans are getting more constant and louder. You wouldn’t mind if he cummed in your mouth right now, but Jungkook hisses and takes his hand off your hair.
“Oh my God- stop. Stop. Come here, babe.”
You decide to just do as he said. As soon as you prop your knees on each side of him, Jungkook sits up again and starts to get rid of your clothing hurriedly - first your pants, then your coat and shirt. When he unclasps your bra, he immediately takes one of your breasts on his mouth, making you moan quietly. His hand pushes your panties to the side to meet your already wet core; you moan louder as he gently caresses it. You unconsciously start moving your hips against his hand, his movements adding more pressure over your clit, his lips still licking and sucking your breasts.
Jungkook decides this was enough to get you wetter. He pushes your panties to the side, holds both sides of your hips as you guide his member to your entrance.
Both of you moan as he enters.
You close your eyes tightly, the feeling of being stretched by him so familiar and so delicious. Steadying yourself on his shoulders, you start to guide yourself up and down on him, never breaking eye contact, watching him carefully. Every deep moan coming from him makes you shiver. The pleasure, the sound of skin hitting skin - how many times have you done it before? You don’t even remember. Yet, right now, it somehow feels fresh and new. 
Maybe it’s because there’s more in Jungkook’s eyes than just lust. Maybe it’s because you notice how he watches you with adoration. And maybe it’s because you watch him with the same intensity, the same feeling.
Jungkook grabs the skin of your hips tightly as you increase your pace. He loves your face contorted in pleasure, he loves the sight of your boobs jumping at each move, he loves to feel the soft skin of your ass on his hand. He loves it. Both of you are really sweating now. You kiss him deeply, never decreasing your pace, your tongues entangling around each other, grabbing the strands of his hair.
God, how much he loves it.
He loves it much more now, because he sees how this time, he’s not the only one feeling something beyond physical pleasure. He knows you too damn well. It’s just like that morning at your house. You’re feeling it, too. 
You love him, too.
Thinking about it makes him smile. You think it’s simultaneously the hottest and the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen.
Jungkook simply circles his arms around your waist and completely switches positions, throwing you on your back on the bed, which makes you giggle. He finally gets rid of your panties and hovers over you, thrusting inside of you once again.
His pace is fast and steady from the beginning. Your moans get higher and higher, louder and louder. You love how his face is so close to yours, how strongly he’s hitting you, how he tightly intertwines his fingers with yours (Jungkook really is the type to intertwine his hands when having sex!)
It’s ridiculous how you feel your eyes welling up with tears in a moment like this.
This moment… It’s not just bodies connecting - it’s souls. 
You used to think you and Jungkook didn’t match; you were opposites in many ways. Jungkook is an introvert, you are an extrovert. Jungkook prefers quiet places, you prefer parties. Jungkook works out, you’re too lazy to do so. Jungkook hates coffee. You can’t live without it.
But, it’s in this moment - when he’s inside of you, when all of your senses are stunned by pure pleasure, when everything you can smell is him and everything you can hear is the sounds of bodies against bodies and when everything you can see is his beautiful starry eyes looking right back at you - is when you realize how wrong you were all along.
You’re like two jigsaw puzzle pieces. They need to be different to match. They are different, but when you put them two together, they complete each other.
You’ve always matched.
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Seulgi didn't expect to find Jungkook standing in the kitchen when she came home.
Of course - you told her that the flight back home was scheduled at night and you'd probably arrive in the morning. This shouldn't be surprising. Yet, Seulgi still widens her eyes when she sees Jeon Jungkook cooking breakfast, his hair a mess, his face slightly swollen - an indication that he just woke up - wearing shorts and a white t-shirt.
He turns around and smiles. "Oh! Y/N didn't tell me you were coming back so early." He sounds a little bit surprised.
Seulgi notices it immediately.
That smile on his face and those gleamy eyes are just shown by someone that had a long, steamy and tiring night of sex.
Sure, Seulgi knows that you and Jungkook made up - and that you've been fucking for months now - but damn, it's still shocking to see it with her own eyes, considering that you only looked like good friends.
"I didn't know I'd come back early, too." Seulgi says, sitting by the tiny kitchen counter. She was expecting to spend the weekend at Irene’s penthouse, but she had to work. This is one of the reasons why Seulgi loves Irene; Irene could just enjoy her fortune and do nothing, yet, she decides to actively work for the company. She’s admirable.
"Do you want breakfast?" He asks over his shoulder.
"Well… I already had breakfast, but this is smelling really good." She admits. Jungkook nods and proceeds to prepare one more portion. She just watches in silence as he works around the kitchen (and she's also surprised that he knows where everything is, every pot, every spoon, literally everything). He hums quietly, that tiny satisfied smile never leaving his lips. 
Seulgi thinks she has never seen him so happy.
It's kind of adorable.
"So, how was your job?" She asks.
"It was great!" Jungkook says excitedly. He chuckles. "I thought I was going to be the assistant of the assistant, but actually I was everyone's assistant. I didn't really do much, but it was great anyways. It's totally different to study about it and see how things work in real life."
Before Seulgi says anything, she sees you coming from your bedroom.
Your face is swollen and your eyes are barely opened; it seems you're not even seeing where you're going. Your hair is a complete mess. You wear one of Jungkook's shirts and Seulgi suspects you're not wearing anything under it.
She watches as you walk on a beeline straight to Jungkook and hug him from behind, burying your face on his back.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" At least that's what she thinks you said, because your voice sounds muffled.
"Because you looked so funny that I didn't want to wake you up." He says softly. Seulgi can hear his smile. "You were drooling and all. I even took some pictures."
"You didn't."
"I did." Jungkook giggles when you punch his back, but still keep your body glued on him. 
"Fuck you. What are you cooking anyways? It smells too fucking good." You mumble.
"It's my special recipe." Jungkook moves to take something on the cabinet. You go along. "I can't cook if you keep smashing me like this."
"I don't caaare."
"Since when do you like hugging so much?"
"You didn't know girlfriend Y/N. Girlfriend Y/N likes long hugs."
Jungkook chuckles again. "Nice to meet you, Girlfriend Y/N."
Seulgi just stares, jaw dropped. From all the things she thought she’d see in her life, this is the most unexpected.
This is so cheesy. So not you. Not even when you were dating Mike you were like this. 
And Jesus- she has never seen you look happy like this.
You turn your head to look at Seulgi, and she watches awkwardly as you let go of Jungkook and proceed to walk in her direction. You kind of look like a really happy zombie.
“Oh, good morning, Seul. Don’t be jealous. I love you toooo.”
And you throw your arms around her shoulders, hugging her so tightly that she almost falls from the stool.
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The only person that doesn’t get shocked at your relationship is your mother.
You casually called her just to talk and gave the news. What she said?
“Well, finally.” 
Everyone else is utterly shocked.
When Hoseok saw you kissing each other goodbye the other day - it was just a peck - his eyes got so wide that it seemed they were about to pop out of his face. He stared at you and him, completely shocked, as Jimin just laughed. That was pretty much everyone’s reaction.
You and Jungkook were never the type to be too touchy. It’s still kind of awkward to hand hold in public or call each other things like babe or love. You physically cringe just thinking of calling him “babe”, honestly.
It’s weird, because you’re “officially” dating now, but your relationship isn’t all that different. All the overwhelming awkwardness between you is gone (thankfully), so now you do what you always did; you swear at each other, you have your violent ways of showing affection, he still ghosts you because he’s too busy playing whatever game. The only difference is that now you can fuck without feeling guilty (and oh boy, you’ve been fucking a lot these days) and there’s a lot of kissing. There wasn’t that much kissing back then.
You thought it was impossible, but sex is even better now. It’s more exciting and even funnier - especially because there’s no awkwardness weighting in the room after you both reach your climaxes. Instead, there’s giggles and hugs and soft kisses. You also sleep at each other’s places now, which is good.
To be honest, if you think really hard about it, you’ve been lowkey dating for years. It’s just that now, you fuck a lot. 
When you tell him this, Jungkook just chuckles. You don’t think he’s really listening to what you’re saying, though - nor you’re thinking straight anymore. You went out with your friends at a karaoke and, as expected, ended up drinking way too much; you and Seulgi had a singing competition in which none of you won (Irene just sat there looking absolutely embarrassed), Jimin sang a little bit but disappeared at some point (Jungkook said he noticed some hot guy in the side room), Hoseok got so emotional singing Haru Haru by BigBang that he started crying as Seokjin laughed so hard he almost choked, and Jungkook didn’t sing at all (because everybody knew he’s actually good at it and he would humiliate everyone else), until Jungkook silently asked if you wanted to leave (and you did) and you two left before anyone could notice (they were too drunk to notice anyway).
Since he’s drinking, you took a bus. The wrong bus. You’re at the other side of the city now, sitting on the bench of a park, watching the sun rise. It sounds romantic, but really, everything you see is heavy traffic and the grey pollution line in the horizon, almost blocking the sun.
Not that you care.
“We did everything backwards.” Jungkook says, his voice low and a little bit husky. His eyes look heavy because of the alcohol. You love how his hair is tied in a tiny ponytail. “People usually are friends first, then go out on dates, then they fuck.”
“We jumped straight to the fun part!” You say as if it’s obvious. He giggles again. 
Peaceful silence. Jungkook watches your intertwined hands sitting on his lap, a small smile on his face. You can see that, even though he’s right by your side, his mind must be far, far away. He’s clearly sleepy. It’s silly - you know this guy almost your entire life, you already have memorized each detail about him - but you can’t take your eyes off of him right now.
You inhale.
“You know.” You start absently. “I saw the video.”
Jungkook frowns and looks at you. “What video?”
You’re trying really hard to hold back a smile.
“I think it’s called euphoria final test I swear to God.”
His eyes widen.
“W-What? Who showed you?!” He groans. “Jimin. Oh my God- I’m gonna fucking kill him!”
You start laughing as you see blush creeping on his cheeks and ears. He hides his face behind his hands and moans painfully.
“Why are you so embarrassed?” You ask, endeared, trying to get his hands off from his face, but he won’t let you.
“You weren’t supposed to watch that! It’s- it wasn’t- ugh!”
“But the song is beautiful, Kook!” You try, still laughing.
“Yeah, the song is alright, but the video?”
“What’s wrong with the video?”
He finally side eyes you for a few seconds. The blush on his cheeks gets redder. He hides his face again, groaning.
“You weren’t supposed to find out about that. Shit, I can’t look at you anymore. I wanna fucking die.”
“Stop being so dramatic!” After a lot of effort, you finally manage to cup his face with your hands. Still, he avoids your gaze. “Hey, hey. Look at me!”
He does.
He looks sheepish and it’s adorable.
“I loved it. Every second of it. You’re so damn talented.”
“B-But I didn’t write the song alone… Namjoon takes most of the credits with the lyrics. I just helped a little bit. A-And you know, it was just for fun, it’s not an official demo or anything-”
He’s forced to shut up when you peck his lips.
“I love you.”
He knits his eyebrows a little bit.
“You like to say this a lot.” He notices quietly. “I didn’t know you were this type of person.”
“I’m not.” You agree. “But it’s because it’s you.”
You’ve been “officially” dating for, what, almost two weeks now? People usually don’t say “I love you” this early. But this isn’t the beginning for you two. It’s more like a progression. It feels natural, like it has always been with him.
It feels like home.
Jungkook avoids your gaze again. The blush hasn’t gone away. “I don’t know what to do when you say things like that- why are you crying?!”
It’s Jungkook’s time to laugh at you as you try to wipe the tears away. He pulls you to rest your head on his chest, hugging you tightly.
“I am supposed to be the emotional one here, not you.” He says, still laughing.
“Shut up. I’m drunk.” 
“Yeah, sure.” His laughter slowly dies until it’s just a quiet giggle. You feel his scent, hear the beating of his heart. Jungkook kisses the top of your head gently, caressing your back. “I’m gonna be so embarrassed when I remember I said this tomorrow,” he says softly against your hair. “But I think I’ve loved you ever since that first day of school when we bumped into each other on our way.”
You bury your face on his chest even more.
Everything around you is blurred and distant. It seems that nothing really matters besides right here, right now - as if you’ve never realized what you’ve been waiting for your whole life. This moment.
Him.
The puzzle is finally complete.
1K notes · View notes
lvlyhao · 3 years
Text
『you’re dating him but he’s not your bias』
reaction fic; NCT Dream
A/N: this is nct dream’s reaction to realizing your bias is not him (and you’re a couple). gender neutral, got way too deep at some points and was NOT meant to be this long. enjoy.
note that english is my second language and i speak mixing slang, accents and spellings from 3283928 places so i did notice there’s practice written with both s and c down there so
just dont mind it pls
also, today’s photo theme is dream looking cute in low quality shots.
𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡), angst (❆), comedy (��), crack (⍢).
𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: lots of swearing, my tough love for the neos, one mention of cheating that doesn’t actually happen, a couple of mentions of alcohol and drinking, some violence hidden in metaphors, me being chaotic, it got a bit more angsty and darker than i intended, but we do have all happy endings.
word count: 6.8K
pairing: nct dream members x reader ( includes mark, renjun, jeno, haechan, jaemin, chenle, jisung)
disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.
*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
Mark
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oh, poor baby
i feel like he would be a little heartbroken 
just a little
not so much if it’s someone from dream, because they’re his little brothers, but if it’s one of his hyungs from 127 or wayv,,,,,
boy might cry
he’s not super dramatic about it or anything but i don’t see him as being super confident about himself
so he might think like
“do they think he’s cooler than me?”
and it’s silly, yes, he knows
but it’s just something that pops up in his mind sometimes when you bring him up
so for the sake of this fanfic let’s pretend you’re johnny biased
because gods know i am
at least when it comes to 127
mark would be divided into fanboying with you and being like “YO, HE’S THE COOLEST GUY ON EARTH OH MY GOD I’M SO GLAD YOU AGREE”
and
“a h”
<gives you a little tiny smile to cover up the sound of his heart breaking>
would constantly try to get closer to you when johnny is around, and just
showing off in little (kinda dumb) ways
complimenting you
being even more whipped than usual
like yes he’ll give you all of his watermelon slices just please don’t look at johnny like that again
i think johnny would kind of play into it with the whole “imma steal your s/o” thing
and he doesn’t do it to make mark jealous or hurt
we know he’d rather get hit by a train than ever actually upsetting his son on purpose
but we also know he’s johnny
cue “OH DUDE HE’S FLIRTING”
so yeah he might call you lil pet names (beautiful, cutie, you get it)
just to see you giggle 
(and see your soul leave your body)
might say he’s taking you out for dinner when he’s just driving you to get more ice cream for a movie night with the gang lol
and winks
expect a lot of winks
anywhere and anytime
which makes mark sometimes feel like he’s intruding???
and that you appreciate johnny more than him???
he genuinely doesn’t understand how you can date him and still not have him as your bias
don’t you like, love him above everyone else or smth lol
his “showing off” phase eventually fades tho
now every time you hang you with the boys and johnny is around, he’ll be a bit more distant 
he thinks he’s giving you space to interact with his friends but he’s just shying away from competing with one of his favourite people ever
and it’s a competition that Does Not Exist™
but he’s not 100% aware of that
and you’re not that dense 
so ofc you notice
and you wait till you two are alone to talk to him, and he BEGRUDGINGLY admits that you being johnny biased makes him feel kinda small and unimportant
he’d never try to make you change your bias or anything
he just needs reminders that he’s your #1 boy sometimes
which is fine by you
and by him
cus now it’s you calling him pet names all the time
and hugging him
and kissing his cheek
and praising his work
and blowing kisses from across the room
and just telling him straight up that no matter what, you’ll always go to him
(not that you ever had any chance with johnny lmao)
THIS GOES TO SHOW COMMUNICATING IS KEY, CHILDREN
COMMUNICATE
Renjun
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wym donghyuck is your bias lol
literally are you fucking kidding him
don’t get me wrong ok
everyone knows renjun loves haechan
they’re bffs and could not live without each other
but at the same time,,,
what is wrong with you
who did he choose as his s/o gods help him
if it was jeno, or mark, or jaehyun, or winwin, or kun, or lucas, or yuta, or taeyong, or ten, or,,,,
literally ANY of his other members
he’d understand your point and be like “ok fine”
but haechan???? hmmm bestie no
he’s not gonna throw a fit
not after the first time you told him anyways
HE WAS SURPRISED OKAY
and he just whined very loudly after having laughed for 5 minutes thinking it was a joke
<flashbacks of that one time he had to sing the ottoke song with haechan on weekly idol>
if you don’t know that iconic scene, renjun had a whole ass meltdown in 3 seconds while yelling “aAAAAAH JINJJAAAAA” and getting ready to punch the living shit out of hyuck
for no reason other than the fact that it’s haechan we’re talking about and injun’s little body is filled with rage
BACK ON TRACK
would probably try to act all cool about it and be like “i don’t mind” but bruh does he mind
and it doesn’t help that haechan is such a little shit about it
he doesn’t even flirt with you
he just
constantly reminds renjun that he’s your bias—not him—and then constantly praises himself over you
“ah, y/n~ did you choose me as your bias because i’m the best vocalist? or was it because i’m the best dancer? mAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY OH SO BROAD SHOULDERS—”
(pause for injun to punch him)
(unpaused)
and ok in the beginning it was funny seeing him all worked up but now it’s just annoying to be in the same room as these two
haechan won’t let either of you live
and renjun just wants to
fight
so it eventually gets to the point where you’ll talk to renjun and jeno will talk to hyuck cus even the other dreamies are tired of it
except maybe for chenle, he always laughs his ass off when they start bickering
ANYWAY
your conversation goes something like “oh my god renjun i’m literally dating you, i don’t like haechan better or anything you little pile of fury”
while jeno sits hyuck down in front of him and jaemin and just
“bro why are you like this”
“bro”
no but renjun would apologize for going overboard with his protectiveness and jealous energy because he’s not generally like that
he’s angry all the time but never about something involving you, you know
he tries his best to treat you like the royalty you are
but something about hyuck being your bias makes him feel a bit like a castaway???
he’s very creative and as an artsy kid myself i know we’re very prone to feeling left out because we’re just different from the others
so he’d think maybe haechan really has a better voice
or better dancing skills
or he looks better
he is taller than injun after all, and has broader shoulders, and his hair is all fluffy and—
the whole thing just made him insecure about things he had settled with himself long ago
he was fine with being him
but not so much when it came to that
i don’t think you two would fight over it cus tbh i think renjun would really only get with someone who can be very understanding of him
and i think hyuck would actually apologize to renjun too
not when everyone’s around but like, maybe after dinner or something and he just needs to feel like they’re besties again
hyuck never meant for things to get out of control
he just really likes both injun and you as his friends, and aside from skinship his most prominent love language is,,,
teasing
he was really just trying (very poorly) to grow closer to the person his best friend loves so much—you—because renjun is SUCH a big part of his life it would just feel wrong to not be good friends with you as well
don’t tell them i said this but they hug it out
injun strikes me as someone that could take a bit of time to bounce back from something that hurt his pride or his sense of belonging
and his way of healing and bonding is just,,,
art
sure, keep being haechan biased, but also please read with him
and talk about his fantastic animal creations
and watch those buzzfeed unsolved alien theory videos because he really wants to discuss it and maybe even draw what he thinks the aliens look like
hyuck tones it down, you make sure renjun knows you like him for him, renjun starts to (secretly) appreciate hyuck’s talent along with you...
and now let’s take a moment to imagine the minute you watch their latest mv with injun by your side
and yes okay the first thing you see is CLEARLY how good renjun looks because holy fucking shit he’s an angel (and i’m clearly not renjun biased)
but then,,,,,,
wAS THAT A HAECHAN HIGH NOTE
(there’s always a haechan high note, just look for it)
and ok maybe he did scream a bit with you because of how good it all sounded
and you know what, it works out perfectly bc you two are my new otp and you were meant for each other
but we do have to mention the eventual happening of chenle saying like “oOoOoOoH y/N wErE yOu dRoOliNg oVeR hAeChAn AgAiN” after a special stage
and then you, injun and hyuck all attempt to choke him
i’m kidding
or not
Jeno
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ah, lee jeno
aka samoyed boi
yes i do call him that no i will not stop
everyone is always writing jeno as being super protective and literally about to burst a lung if someone else ever does as much as look at you
but i just 
don’t see him that way
he’s a taurus and from what i know about taurus they can be v v jealous, yes, but they mainly seek comfort
so he’s fine with you biasing jaemin
as long as you’re not ditching him or anything lol
and ok, imma be 100% honest here even if it sounds like literal no fun (jenojaem wink wonk)
jaemin doesn’t flirt with you
not any more than he flirts with
every other breathing creature
ever
he’s really only platonically interested in you, never remotely romantic or anything lol
on the other side, he is in love with jeno
basically, if jaemin is your bias, jeno is his
so nothing really changes
we know how nomin are, okay
they hold hands, they stare deeply into each other eyes, they nearly kiss at least once every time they go live
it's just them
you gotta respect it bruh
i know this is the most boring reaction ever so let’s create the one (1) instance where jeno would actually dislike that you bias someone else
i think he would feel a bit hurt if you seemed to be more supportive of jaemin’s work than his
and it’s not something big or on purpose
it’s just something like going with him to a recording session but not going with jeno because you have homework
or after a very busy practise day going to praise jaemin first
even if it’s just three words
“you did good”
and then you’re going towards him, he’s gonna feel like maybe he doesn’t deserve your praise as much as nana????
i actually feel like, among the dreamies, jeno is the least confident one when it comes to his performance
he knows he’s not an awful rapper or anything but i think it can be a bit too much, being around such bright and huge presences like the others while his nickname literally means “no fun”
his members are just so loud and full of energy most of the time
and sometimes he just really needs to be quiet and observe in silence 
(yes i do know he’s chaotic and a crackhead, i’m just saying as we know he can be a bit introspective)
so what if you just
stopped seeing him?
did he become invisible to you?
did you finally fall for jaemin’s beautiful smile and stupid pick-up lines?
he’s not gonna let it show that he’s affected, though
earth signs are nearly always the ones to “stay strong” because we have this image that people are relying on us???
so we do what we do
bottle everything up and overwork ourselves bc we only got two modes
1. chill, super balanced and down to earth (ay for the pun)
2. please make us take a break we’re literally about to cry if we work for one more minute but we can’t allow ourselves to fucking take it easy
so yes you’ve guessed correctly, we’re going with 2
jeno is going to go so, SO hard on everything he does 
literally every single activity you can think of from dance practice to photoshoots to cooking for the dreamies
he stays up later than usual to get that one tricky move in the choreo just right
he works out more because he thinks he has to look absolutely perfect for when they shoot the mv
jisung asked for ramen? he’s making it but you bet your ass he’s spending over 40 minutes just chopping so
many
vegetables
AND STUFF THAT JISUNG WON’T EVEN EAT
but he’s doing it anyway for the reason being that it just has to be the Best™
and it’s not like he’s competing with anyone else to be diligent
this is just about being better than he was and showing himself—and maybe you—how painstakingly hardworking and driven he can be
maybe then you’re gonna acknowledge him as much as you acknowledge nana :((
:(((((
writing this is making me downright sad, jeno is so underrated and unaware of his power UGH
and i need to point out this is NOT about making you change your bias from jaemin to him, this is solely about having you recognize his efforts, even if you already do
if you just thought jeno was like going off in work because it was asked of him to, jaemin would DEF notice and talk to you about it
turns out it’s a habit of jeno to go extra hard sometimes and he needs someone to make him take a break
so it goes down like you breaking into the practice room when jeno and jisung were practising
the first reaction is confusion
the second is oh hey babe how are you
third is
a-are you dragging jeno and his bag out of the door while screeching at jisung to order pizza and doughnuts for everyone??
yes you are and i’m proud of you
so jeno is still confused and making those cute “hUh” noises he does omg i love him so much
and you’re just rambling about how much of an amazing artist he is, and you love his voice, and he’s a fantastic dancer, and his expressions and gestures are on point, and he takes such good care of the dreamies and
he’s perfect
and he knows jaemin must have talked to you, and he feels so vulnerable to have you know how on edge he’s been
baby boy just needs some rest
and that’s exactly what you give him, with a bath full of those fancy bath bombs and flower petals and candles at your house/apt
then a quick sheet mask while you massage his shoulders and keep saying how much you genuinely admire him
the mask might be ruined cus he started crying out of exhaustion
after that’s been done and you’ve hugged for at least like 5 min nonstop, you head over to the dorms, where hyuck was in charge of setting up a blanket fort while mork and nana gather board games, jisung gets the food and chenle
well chenle just had to make sure jisung doesn’t forget to order for someone and doesn’t break like 10 plates trying to set the table lol
this is way longer than the others so imma wrap it up
make it obvious and loud that you see and respect jeno’s hard work and he’ll be alright again
and maybe make those game nights a weekly thing when possible, it would make him very happy
he’ll never again feel sad when you praise jaemin cus now he’s sure he does enough, and above all, he is enough
Haechan
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haechan = full sun
why would you ever bias someone when you’re dating the goddamned sun
does not understand
but also does not care that much
actually, one out of two really depending on who your bias is
if it’s one of the members he has that tom/jerry relationship with, prepare for so
much
complaining
and clinging
AND HE’D BE SO LOUD OH MY FUCKING GOD
donghyuck please stop screaming about doyoung not deserving to be your baby’s bias, it’s 2 am
on the other hand, if it’s one of the (few) members he,,,
adores with all of his heart and is not afraid to show it
ex: sungchan, jaehyun, taeil and yang2x
then you can bet he’s going to be right beside you whenever you feel like throwing a fit because he’s just so handsome and talented
IF IT’S MARK OSHDISJD
i’m going to write you as being mark biased ok? ok
i honestly don’t know if he’d feel more jealous of mark or of you
he loves you both
a lot,,,,
and he really doesn’t like it when mark blushes when you compliment him
and he doesn’t like it when mark literally just walks past you and you trip over your feet because bro tf u doing, that’s some embarrassing shit
lowkey done with you two
but also PAY HIM SOME ATTENTION
or don’t, he’s fine either way (cue crossed arms and staring at you from across the room until you come give him a kiss)
“he’s pretty cute but i’m cuter right baby”
pouty pouty pouty if he ever feels neglected
will be so fucking annoying lmao i can’t write haechan, i love him but i do understand why renjun is always trying to beat him up
he’d be a show-off in a different way than mark because he can be so petty
will take every chance he gets to pull a one-liner
will sing everything he has to say just so you know he can hit those high notes
what do you mean dream doesn’t have a schedule today
oh man, he could swear they did
because that is the sole reason why he’s wearing his most expensive clothes and shoes + makeup to walk around the dorms, yes
no he doesn’t want to impress you
shut up
will text you like every single fancam he sees on twitter
every
single 
one
and are they mark’s?
lol no, they’re his
he is so genuinely trying to make you a member of his sunflower cult 
<whispers> “tell me i’m your bias” 
“donghyuck what the actual hell why are you standing at the end of my bed in the middle of the night like a fucking demon child”
he really wants to act all cool and composed but he wants to be your bias so fucking bad
he’s a bad bitch all around and just does whatever
cus haechan privilege
and he tends to not care about what people say and think???
bc he knows he’s lee donghyuck
he’s fully aware of the effect he has on people
but you
not biasing him
naw, he can’t take it
will do anything and everything he can to make you say, JUST ONE TIME, he’s your bias
then you can go back to loving (his) mark
so for your sake, for his sake, for mark’s sake
just give donghyuck what he wants
i can promise he’ll keep being an ass no matter what you do
like yeah did you just buy him coffee and his favourite cake? well that’s sweet but iS HE YOUR BIAS YET
“aw babe thanks so much for taking a bullet for me but now please say i’m your bias”
if you still don’t do it, it’s time to be extra petty
will actually drop you for mark
his logic is something like: he can’t be your bias? pity, so he’s just gonna date him instead
and mark is mark so he has no idea what’s going on
everyone in 127 and dream finds this absolutely hilarious cus suddenly donghyuck seems to be doing his best to win over mark’s heart and i mean more than usual???? and he’s treating you like his bro????
<you leaving the dorms to go to uni or smth so you go to hyuck for a goodbye kiss> “no can do, i’m committed”
“i’m your partner”
“no that’s mark”
it’s not 100% a joke when i say i can see him getting down in one knee to propose to mark while making eye contact with you to
assert his dominance
and mark is just
“dude
what HAHAHA”
and you are so done, i’m so sorry you have to go through that bby
i don’t think there’s another way to fix haechan other than just admitting he was your bias for an era, or a comeback or something
like yeah with the other dreamies before him it’s bonding + healing time bc i wrote it all kinda angsty (lol sorry) but with donghyuck
no
“will you stop this if i say you were my bias during reload era”
“mark wasn’t in dream that era tho”
“yes i know”
i say he’s gonna take what he can get and now things can finally go back to normal
with the exception that something else comes along with hyuck being satisfied with you biasing him
he just has a full pass to fanboy over mark now too
what am i talking about?
new 127 mv is out
you: watching it beside haechan and going off about how pretty mark looks
him: going off even harder bc he’s whipped too
this is what a happy couple looks like 
but now i pity mark because he has you two idiots fanboying over him irl
savemork2021
Jaemin
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nana is just such a chill and fun guy
i can’t see him being actually jealous or anything if he finds out you bias someone else
and so the two of you become insufferable together
bitch, i’m telling you
he (ur bias) is not gonna have one peaceful day ever again in his entire life
cus you know the thing jaemin does where he just looks at someone doing some random shit and goes “oOoOoH sExY”
yes that thing
he’s doing it to your bias 
and you’re doing it too
and your bias probably wants to run away to some very far away land
PLEASE IF IT’S JISUNG
i’m not gonna write this whole thing as if you bias him but let’s just imagine
two fully grown people
pilling on top of poor, poor park jisung playing games on his phone
“URI JISUNGIEEEEEE
MWOYA, MWOYAAAA~"
i genuinely think he would avoid being around you two at the same time
cus individually he can handle it
like yes y/n please let me go this hug has lasted for about 4 minutes now
or oh hi jaemin hyung my cheeks hurt when you pinch them that hard
but when you two are together
bruh
a power couple not bc you two are v confident or some shit but bc you can and will be extremely affectionate towards anyone that comes too close
and now let’s talk about how it would be if you biased jaehyun
jaemin loves jaehyun
they’re 2jae
2jae are soulmates
therefore,,,, it’s also kinda hellish but in a different way???
bc 2jae are on the end of that spectrum about the neos that know how in love the entire world is with them
they’re too powerful
they’re aware of their charm and they do everything they can to rub it in our faces
so the flirting between 2jae and you would be insane
and i mean insane
insane as in even johnny is kinda disgusted tbh bc
they’re doing a photo shoot with the 23 of them for some shit, idk don’t ask me
and of course, you had to tag along
but oh my god you three, please stop calling each other sexy/hot in weird voices now, the staff is staring
there are def rumours the 3 of you are a poly couple lmao
jaehyun denies everything on social media (throwback to saying “no way lol” when we asked if he REALLY slept in the same bed as jungwoo)
but every piece of content there is of you and jaemin or you and jaehyun or just them is so ridiculously flirty
you can bet there are compilations on youtube like 
“y/n being in love with 2jae for 8 minutes heterosexual”
ok i was having way too much fun with that, moving on
i don’t think he’d ever be actually upset about you biasing someone else
he trusts you and treasures you a lot so he doesn’t see the problem in you also appreciating another one of his members
bc gods know he does
he’s a bit in love with everyone so why shouldn’t you be too lol
one time he would feel a bit blue because of it???
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
i think it’s possible he’d turn pouty or whiny or just kinda needy (not in a bad way, he just misses you) when he’s like
done with people
and needs some time away from everything
we know he’s an introvert, even if he acts very, very loud around the boys and it’s honestly just a matter of time until an introvert grows tired of being around humans
it depends on each person, of course, but there’s a 99% chance every once in a while he’ll start to feel too drained
and he’ll need a break to get his energy back
jaemin would probably want you around even when he feels like that, though
i see you being such a big source of comfort for him in a relationship
he enjoys taking care of people so please take care of him too
and for just this one day don’t talk about your bias that much, or don’t leave nana to go over to him to chat
and just cuddle him a lot
that will make him a smiley baby again
and then things are back to how they normally are
and by that i mean most neos hiding from you because they’re scared 
i don’t have a lot to say aside from that so let’s think about the neos that would be the most intimidated by your shared thot aura
dotae would be confused in different ways lol
taeyong would be just ????????????blush/awkward smile/hahaha??????
and doyoung might actually ask what is wrong with you
<points to jeno and his s/o> “why can’t you be like them”
mark would laugh-scream and slap his knee into oblivion whenever you two are cornering him
but then go super shy and be like “dUDE DON’T DO THAT”
resident confident gay jungwoo would rejoice in the attention and make so many goddamned jokes
a literal comedian i love him
i think sicheng and renjun would be on the same wavelength of repugnance towards you lol
chenle would deadass call you weird and tell you to leave him alone
shotaro and kun might faint (or kun will panic-scold you)
taeil is as confused by affection as usual (have you seen the face he makes when haechan kisses him LMFAO he’s smiling but like wondering wtf happened on the inside)
ten is not very amused but might play into it
yangyang: that’s disgusting, man (cue flashbacks to that live with renjun after the from home stage where renjun pretended to lick his hand and slick his hair back,,, catboy injun,,, you know the one)
xiaojun and hendery are such panicked gays they just turn to stare at whoever else is around and make that “help” expression like they’re on the office
haechan is haechan, kinda doesn’t mind it
jeno is used to dealing with this at this point
lucas and yuta love the attention but while yuta will flirt right back lucas is just gonna smile and try to jop his way out of there while screaming
sungchan will go hide behind haechan and say “hyung they’re being dumbasses again”
this turned into ‘how would nct react to you and jaemin being super flirty together’ and i’m not sorry
Chenle
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chenle is so fun to write i love him lmao
okay so
he doesn’t strike me as the possessive type with anyone other than jisung (bc i swear he can be a bit jelly towards his bestie but i think it comes with sungie being the sweetest bean ever, he’s just protective)
he’s such a ray of sunshine and witty jokes and dolphin laughter i love him
back to the plot
he literally couldn’t care less about you biasing someone else
b u t
i will say there’s an exception
this exception is tall, kinda lanky, very awkward and born on the 5th of february
you’ve guessed it, it’s jisung
i think most of the time he’d tease THE SHIT out of you for it because c’mon
you had 22 chances not to mess up
and you still somehow ended up biasing jisung? lol do better next time
and this is not me and chenle hating on jisung, please—
he’d just find it funny that your bias is his best friend and
hold the fuck up
your bias is his best friend
oH NO NO NO NO NO
i think after realizing that he would lowkey try to keep you two apart because he’s somehow jealous of both????
and if he can’t help it then you can bet your ass he will be screaming all along
it’s his sweet, dummy jisung
with his sweeter and dummier y/n
what is he going to do
probably has a mini-breakdown with kun because like he’s always wanted you two to get along bUT NOT LIKE THAT
kun will just sigh like the tired father he is and pet his back while saying “there, there”
and a genius idea is going to come to chenle’s mind
you know the teasing thing?
well it’s upgrade time
he’s gonna turn into such a try-hard with tmi and embarrassing shit you two have done
and he’s not trying to stop you from being friends
he just wants you to like
know who you’re befriending
bc i think since he’s really really close to jisung, he doesn’t want you getting closer to him bc you like his idol side alone
and he doesn’t want jisung getting close to you just because you’re his partner either
if you had high hopes for each other and ended up kinda falling face-first into the ground bc it was nothing like you had imagined—
he’d be so broken
because he loves you so much :((((
so like, if you can get past the teasing and annoying barrier he’s putting up, he’ll be more than happy to have two of the most important people in his life being buddies
so get ready for it
if you’re the type of person to go batshit crazy when you drink, oh boy, oh boy
so you and the dreamies are just having dinner when lele feels like it’s the perfect time to disclose some of your drunken adventures
“hey y/n”
“yeah babe?”
“remember that time you got really really drunk on vodka and candy and wanted to call your mom”
“chenle the hell don’t talk ab—”
“but then you tried using the microwave as a phone”
“...”
“...”
“or that other time you were equally as drunk and watched the make a wish mv and cried because you noticed the height difference between xiaojun hyung and lucas hyung”
yeah so now’s the part you get up to chase him around the dorms and try to land a kick
BUT WORRY NOT, HE’LL MAKE SURE TO EMBARRASS JISUNG JUST AS MUCH
he likes doing that when it’s just the three of you though
so picture this
movie night the girls boys
chenle would 100% pick the most terrifying horror movie he can find so that he could see jisung clinging to whoever’s closest to him
and then right before a jumpscare, he’d whisper like
“jisung”
“w-what”
“why don’t you do that thing you were doing while you slept last night”
(honestly, i’d be mildly scared if i heard lele say this with no context at all)
and then the jumpscare happens and jisung is nearly fainting and crying at the same time
but chenle is laughing
and trying to get out what he wants to tell you between wheezes
“he-he” <dolphin wheeze> “hE WAS SINGING CHEER UP BY TWICE WHILE SLEEPING” <more wheezes>
and look this is just gonna go on for weeks until you and jisung are over it
and stop being weird and awkward around each other
lele needs you two to be bros ok
so be bros
once you do adapt to being pals with your bias i think chenle would take the teasing down a notch just to make you more comfortable
and like he’s so happy now the three of you can hang out and there’s just no tension
happy chenle is the thing i love the most i swear to gods
and if you don’t adapt to it?
well,,,
i honestly think he’d be pretty disappointed, cus it means to him one of you isn’t ready to fully embrace the weirdness within????
and like what u scared of
jisung is a weirdo, what about it, so are you
either that or he’d think you’re maybe being judgemental
so yeah please accept jisungie and your dumbass boyfriend
then everyone can be besties
i love thinking about the three of you as just this hellbound chaotic trio
because chenji already wreak havoc wherever they go as the two of them
but now that you’re coming along,,,,
no neo would escape from your pranks ever again (and even members of other groups lmfao watch out sehun, i’m talking to you)
and it’s so incredible infuriating in a good way that it just turns to be endearing
you’re cute as fuck so no one gets actually mad with the shit you pull????
which is dangerous, someone should really keep an eye out on the three of you 
we don’t need sm to be on fire
well we kinda do cus they’re pretty bad but not my point
i said somewhere above that chenle would tone the teasing down but i don’t mean he’d stop
bc c’mon guys
he’s chenle
no limits here
but sorry, i really cannot write jealous!chenle cus his heart is just too pure and filled with joy for him to be jealous for real
last scenario?
chenle after a comeback stage: ya y/n, i was gonna ask how was my performance today but you were probably more focused on jisung’s arms right
jisung is choking on water somewhere behind you
Jisung
Tumblr media
it’s maknae time <plays i.n’s maknae on top>
i don’t mean to picture jisung as being like
ridiculously innocent or just downright naive because i really dislike it when people do that
he’s a literal 19 yo and jaemin himself has said he’s not as innocent as we think lol
however
i do see him as being quite new to all things love 
i think you’d probably be his first partner and with first relationships comes a lot of other firsts
first kiss maybe, first time holding hands, first time being jealous….
first time being jealous, yes, focus on that
i don’t think jisung would be aware that like
you not biasing him is even a possibility
cuz you’re dating
doesn’t that come along????
ah poor baby i love him
if you biased chenle i think he’d be just
disgusted and weirded out but okay?? you do you i guess???
he’s comfortable enough with lele to not feel intimidated
but if it’s another member
ESPECIALLY one of the oldest ones
i think it would be a blow straight to his confidence 
you biasing ten, kun, taeil, taeyong, doyoung or johnny and maybe yuta would make him feel a bit hesitant and concerned
his first thought would probably be that you don’t like being with someone as young as him
and who knows, maybe you’re even younger than him, maybe you’re the same age, but what if you actually like older guys??
what about him then???
and jisung doesn’t mean to feel so worried and insecure, ok, pls understand where i’m coming from
first relationships normally take like a very long time to build trust and acceptance of the other person’s feelings bc it’s literally a whole new world for you
and that goes extra hard for jisung because he is so fucking whipped for you it’s still hard to believe you like him as much
and it absolutely does not cross his mind that you’d cheat on him with your bias, GODS NO
he really respects you and his hyungs 
so no, never
that’s not a thing that can happen
but you realize you’re too good for him and maybe see he doesn’t fit your ideal type?
well, yes, that’s what he’s thinking
probably goes straight to chenle or renjun (he talks about renjun so much asjahj) to vent and ask for advice
i think they’d be surprised to see what’s going on inside his pretty little head because it’s so obvious for everyone that you just adore jisung
and they do tell him that
however, i don’t think it would completely calm his nerves, and again, this has nothing to do with not trusting you
it’s just that
his hyungs are so cool…
HE CAN’T HELP IT OK
would probably try to mirror your bias (i’m saying it’s taeyong for the sake of what i’ve imagined ok) and like
grasp onto some of his qualities?
so in his mind taeyong is: nice, sweet, caring, amazing, perfect, smart, perfect, sexy, mature and did i mention perfect
i can see him trying some new rap styles that mimic tyong’s a bit???
like would lowkey learn his raps from cherry bomb and superm’s one and listen to recordings frequently to pick up on how taeyong does it
i think he’d also just change the way he acts in general to dodge a bit from his maknae image
so now he tries to speak with a more formal-ish language and learns random facts about things you like to seem more intelligent???
“good morning y/n, you look as beautiful as one of voiello’s paintings today :]”
“wait i thought that was a pasta brand”
he’s just trying to show you he can be mature and serious if you want him to
long story short, he’s not acting like himself (not that he’s childish, he’s just out of it) and you don’t like it, so you ask about it and wait for him to feel comfortable with sharing
when he does talk about it breaks your heart so much :((
you’re going to need some patience to try and show him you’d choose him, and not your bias, even if you had the chance
they’re completely different people and you love him BECAUSE he’s jisung, not for any other reason
please reassure him so he can go back to acting like his authentic self, i think it would be such a relief for him too
your words and affection are obviously enough for him, but if it ever happens that he feels especially low and insecure again, it would help if your bias talks to him too
and taeyong wouldn’t have a problem with it
actually, scratch that, taeyong probably knew what was going on all along
he just has that motherly 7th sense (ay) that is even more acute with the dreamies cus like 
127 has him, wayv has kun, but dream has…
the dreamies
and that, my friend, is terrifying
anyway he’d come to talk to jisung asking like “what’s wrong buddy :(“ and sungie would be a bit ashamed because it sounds so silly when you say it out loud
of course tyong wouldn’t judge him, and he just really has to tell jisung what is it you and he are always talking about
it’s him
“when they come around to talk and hang out here it all goes back to you, jisungie. they can’t spend one second without mentioning your name
it’s so cute; it’s always like ‘oh jisung would love this’ or ‘jisung likes it that way’
so please be kinder to yourself and let yourself see that they’re in love with you, not with me and not with any other member they ever mention”
jisung would feel 10000000% better
and smiley
and giggly
and oh my god do you really talk about him that much
LOOK HE’S BLUSHING
would just go over to your house immediately and hug you, burying his face on your neck from behind you
and not let go
ever again
the whole situation just teaches him a lot about accepting your love for him and not questioning it 
shut up i’m not crying
---
final notes: this was my first work after the humanity series and it was so fun lol i think next up is probs gonna be an ideal type scenario for ot23 (but if i really write it i’m gonna post it by subunit and its gonna be way shorter than this, don’t expect 23K words at once lmao)
if you’ve enjoyed this fic please consider reading my humanity series, which is a zombie apocalypse au with kun <3
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tennessoui · 3 years
Note
oh my god literally every single prompt on that list is gold and i'd love to see your obikin take for all of them. hmmm... if i had to choose i guess first 13. co-stars au?? thank you lots of love !!!
ah bless!! thank you so much!! i'm slowly working my way through most of the prompts on that list so you might see many many more before I'm done with my ask box. I think after two more, I'll put em on ao3 to keep em more organized too. this has been soooo fun!!
13. Co-Stars AU(/7. Fake Relationship AU)(2.5 k)
“No.”
“Ani, darling, you can’t say no.”
“Don’t call me that. And secondly, I can. I just did. This is my personal life, the company has no control over that.”
“While you’re filming its movie and it’s giving you money, you’ll actually find that it does, Anakin.”
Anakin sits down heavily on the bench outside his trailer, leaning forward until he can put his head in his hands. He wants to run his fingers through the mess on his head, but they’re in between takes right now and the make-up department will definitely kill him if they have to fix him up again.
“Asajj, please. You know how hard it was to get to come out as bisexual. If the first person I date after that is a woman, no one will remember! It’ll just be completely erased, and I’ll be Anakin Skywalker, Playboy Actor again.”
“But you do like women,” Asajj points out. “So either way, you’d be confirming your sexuality.”
Anakin sighs and leans his head back against the metal of the trailer. “And it would be different if I was actually in love with Padme, but she’s just my co-star and--”
“Anakin, she’s your co-star. You’re in a blockbuster movie where you dramatically save her life and then kiss her as the credits roll. This is just business. You like her. You’re friends. Think of it less like dating, and more like going to grab lunch together. And coffee. Maybe a fancy dinner. Several times a week.”
“For how long?” Anakin asks, resigned and despairing and hating the fact that he ever got into acting.
Asajj sounds relieved. “Just until the movie’s out and sales are doing well.”
That could be months. That would be months. “And I have to?” he asks.
“Yes,” she says. “I’m sorry.”
Anakin doesn’t say it’s fine. It doesn’t feel like it is fine.
“They’re not looking for anything to be confirmed. If asked about your relationship with Padme, tell them you think she’s a great woman and you’re enjoying spending time with her. No comment on any sort of serious relationship.”
“Because a break-up afterwards might hurt the chances for a sequel?” Anakin asks drily.
“Exactly! We’ll get you a head for the business yet, Anakin. Okay, I have to go, but I’ll send you the information now, just so you know what you’ll be expected to do. We’re thinking a dinner tomorrow to start things off strong, and then slow afterwards!”
She hangs up before he can say anything else and he slumps back boneless against the metal trailer. God.
It’s not that he doesn’t like Padme. Ventress is right. They were friends before this project and Anakin knows they’ll be friends after as well. They genuinely get along, and it’s probably one of the reasons Anakin was cast in such a big name production: the chemistry between them when they’re acting is undeniable. She’s one of his favorite people in the entire industry.
“Anakin?” One of his other favorite people in the entire industry asks hesitantly from in front of him. “Are you alright?”
“No,” he says.
“May I sit?”
“Yeah,” he says.
Like he’d ever turn Obi-Wan Kenobi away.
“Are you wearing your costume?” he asks, without opening his eyes. Obi-Wan’s playing the villain of the movie, and Anakin has a hard time focusing on anything else when Obi-Wan’s around him wearing that skin-tight white turtleneck and cape combination, with his hair slicked back and fake glasses perched on his nose.
Obi-Wan sounds amused. “No, I’m finished for the day. Heading home now. You don’t have to see how silly I look today.”
Anakin smiles slightly, despite everything. In one of his better acting moments, he’d told Obi-Wan that his costume was distracting because it looked so funny on him. Really, it was just hot.
(Of course, Obi-Wan had taken his criticism seriously and gone to the director and the costume department. They had decided that it would make Obi-Wan’s character more threatening if he pushed up his sleeves in almost every scene to reveal heavily tattooed forearms. Anakin had hated himself and his big stupid mouth for days afterwards.)
“Is...there anything I can do to help, Anakin? I hate to see you like this,” Obi-Wan places a hand gently on Anakin’s knee, and Anakin has to fight a shiver at the touch.
They’d met at the script-reading for the movie, a handful of months ago. Anakin had set two clocks in his head the moment their hands grasped each other and Obi-Wan smiled charmingly up at him. “So you’re the one to kill me?” He’d winked. “Tall order.”
One clock signified the weeks it would take for him to fall in love with the older man. The starting number was pitifully small, but Anakin had been watching Obi-Wan’s movies and interviews for years before meeting him. He’d known something about the man, which of course had paled in comparison to knowing the man himself. They’d spent two weeks choreographing the steps of the final fight scene, just the two of them in a repurposed ballet studio.
Looking back, Anakin isn’t sure how he’d survived. And he had never wanted it to end.
Which is the other clock, still ticking down in his head. The moment filming ends, and they go their separate ways. They’ll probably keep in touch, but Anakin won’t see him constantly, won’t be able to lean into the weight of Obi-Wan’s hand on his shoulder, his knee, sometimes even on his cheek when he leans down in between takes to tell him how good of a job he’s done.
“Anakin?”
“Sorry,” Anakin snaps to the present. “Sorry. I was in my head. I. I don’t think so, no.”
“Oh,” Obi-Wan says, tensing his hand as if he’s planning to remove it, which Anakin wouldn’t appreciate in the slightest.
“My agent says that the executives want me to date Padme. To drum up hype for the movie. Because I guess people will think it must be good if the co-stars start fucking each other?” He runs a hand across his face. “Um. Sorry, excuse my language.”
“Anakin, I’m forty-one, I think I’ve heard someone say fuck before,” Obi-Wan sounds amused again.
“Yeah, I just. Don’t want to? I guess maybe--I mean you probably didn’t see, but I came out as bisexual a year ago, and I haven’t dated anyone since, and I just know the way the rags will write about me and Padme if we’re seen together. And it’ll be like I just. Never came out.”
Obi-Wan makes a sympathetic noise but doesn’t interrupt. It’s one of the reasons Anakin loves talking to him.
“And my agent just sent me this contract, or I don’t know, list of things I have to do because there’s no way for me to get out of this and it just makes me feel trapped. But they don’t even want me to confirm if we're dating or not dating, they just want to create rumors about it, but it’s my life. I want to do what I want to do with my life, date who I want to date.”
“Do you...have anyone you want to date?” Obi-Wan asks, hand stilling from where he’s been casually rubbing circles on Anakin’s knee.
“No,” Anakin says too quickly and then grimaces. Does he really get paid for acting? He’s always so terrible at lying.
Obi-Wan hums. “I could...take a look at whatever papers your agent sent you?” He suggests. “I’m obviously not really an expert, but I have been in the business a fair bit longer than you.”
“You’re not that old,” Anakin responds by rote, but hesitates, curious despite himself. “You wouldn’t mind?”
“I’ve nothing planned tonight except to have a glass of wine and pet my cat, Anakin. It would be a pleasure to help you any way I could.”
“Okay,” Anakin says, reaching out to lay his hand gently on top of Obi-Wan’s. He’s never done that before, never responded so openly to Obi-Wan’s touches. It’s an amazing thrill.
Obi-Wan flips his hand around until they’re holding hands, basically. In the middle of a public area. God, Anakin’s letting his crush get the best of him when Obi-Wan isn’t even gay. “Thank you,” he says, standing up and pulling away from the older man. It’s the right thing to do. The last thing he wants is for Obi-Wan to think he’s...predatory.
A harried looking crew member spots him as he stands and gestures to him to get back to the set. He smiles ruefully at Obi-Wan who gives him an unreadable expression but also a soft goodbye.
Later, in between takes, he forwards Obi-Wan the emails Asajj sent him, both the papers and the message at the top that says “dress nice for tomorrow at Delfino’s!” followed by a little smiley face he can’t believe she’d ever mean.
He knows nothing’s going to come of it, but. But he has to try.
----
Padme’s dressed to the nines in front of him. He’d compliment her outfit, but he’s already complimented her hair and her make-up, and he thinks she’ll scream if he continues to act as stilted as he’s being now.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs quietly after the waiter leaves with their drink orders. “I know I’m being--awkward. I just.”
They’re seated in the middle of the restaurant, and Anakin knows there’s two paps already outside, taking pictures through the windows. The rest will have arrived by the time they pay the bill and leave. It’s a circus and he’s the main event.
“I understand,” Padme responds, the angel that she is. “I don’t particularly want to be doing this either.”
Anakin presses his hand to his chest, jokingly wounded. “What are you trying to say, Padme, my beloved, my dearest?”
She laughs and he does too, but in the back of his head he can hear the sound of a camera’s shutter clicking. Everything feels fake, and he feels like he’s about to crawl out of his skin.
A hand lands on his shoulder with startling familiarity and for a second he thinks it’s a very brave member of the wait-staff, before Obi-Wan Kenobi is swinging into his field of vision, pulling up a chair from god knows where and sitting right in between Anakin and Padme, never once removing his hand from Anakin’s jacket.
“Sir--” someone says in distress, “This is a two-person table.”
Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow and looks down at the table. “Well it certainly can fit three, so I would go as far as to say that tonight it can be a three-person table. Anakin, what did you order to drink?”
“The house white,” Padme supplies when Anakin makes no move to respond, instead choosing to gape at Obi-Wan like a fish out of water.
“Excellent choice, darling,” Obi-Wan says, rubbing at his upper arm absent-mindedly. “I’ve never been here, tell me. Do you serve a good seafood dish?”
The waiter stammers. “We have an acclaimed oyster platter, sir--”
“Oysters?” Obi-Wan smiles at the man, all teeth. “The aphrodisiac? What are you trying to get these kids in the mood for?”
Anakin blushes. “Obi-Wan!” He hisses, aghast. Obi-Wan’s eyes cut to him for a second before he smirks back at the waiter.
“I’ll take the oysters for the main course,” he says dismissively.
Somehow it’s that sentence that tips Anakin off, more than anything else he’s done tonight. Obi-Wan spends hours talking to the people that run the crafts table. He would never be so cold or rude naturally. He’s...playing a character, one that Anakin recognizes as being the villain from their movie (although without all the blood and murder).
Anakin only recedes into personas when he’s nervous about something. Can the same be said for Obi-Wan?
Padme, at least, looks amused. “Hello, Obi-Wan,” she says. “I see you’ve decided to crash our very romantic date.”
“Well that’s interesting, isn’t it?” Obi-Wan replies, turning to face her but keeping his hand on Anakin, although it slides down to rest on the crook of his arm. “I had Anakin send me the paperwork, mild curiosity, you know how it is, and I realized the strangest thing while I was reading over it.”
“Oh?” Padme asks.
“It never states which co-star Anakin should be seen with, just that he must be seen with a leading actor. And I don’t want to focus on the numbers here, of course, but in the rough-cut of the movie, I have thirty-four minutes of screentime. And you, my dear, have thirty-two and fifteen seconds.”
“Tragic,” Padme says, taking a sip of her water. "You may be considered more of a leading actor than I am."
“Certainly,” Obi-Wan gives her a friendly smile. Anakin is still stuck on the fact that Obi-Wan is here, that he read the paperwork, that he’s arguing semantics for the purpose of--of--
“And I suppose you’re here to offer yourself as a replacement?” Padme asks, leaning her head on her hand as she watches the two of them.
“Only if Anakin wouldn’t mind,” Obi-Wan says, turning to face him.
Anakin isn’t sure what he’s thinking right now. “But you’re not interested in men.”
“I am,” Obi-Wan says.
“But...you’re not interested in me.”
“I am,” Obi-Wan says.
“You are?”
“Excuse me,” Padme says. “I’m going to go to the restroom.”
“We’ll wait to order until you come back,” Obi-Wan reassures her, without taking his eyes off of Anakin.
Anakin bites his lip and hesitantly brings his hand up to sit palm up on the table. Obi-Wan doesn’t hesitate to intertwine their fingers again, like they had been just yesterday.
“I’m a very private person, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says quietly, all traces of any sort of persona dropped from his voice. “I’ve never come out, never wanted to. But I was so proud that you had when you did. And I--well. I suppose. You already get to fake-kiss Padme on screen, I thought that perhaps you’d like to try to fake-kiss someone else for a change.”
Anakin ducks his head and gathers his courage. He can’t not ask. A fake relationship with Padme would be awful, but one with Obi-Wan? That would be torture. Cruel and unusual punishment. He’s still reeling from the information that apparently Obi-Wan does like men and apparently he likes Anakin enough to come out for him.
But does he like Anakin enough to touch him and mean it? He has to know. He looks up at Obi-Wan’s earnest face from beneath his eyelashes. “What if I want to real-kiss you?”
Obi-Wan blinks, and a smile breaks out across his face. “Then you don’t even need to have to ask, darling. Kiss me all you want, if you’re okay with a clingy old man in your bed.”
“Not that old,” Anakin argues, smiling so hard he’s afraid his face will crack in two. “But I don’t want to kiss you tonight.”
Obi-Wan turns solemn, although his grip on Anakin remains tight. “We can go as slow as you’re comfortable with.”
“Oh, you can have me later,” Anakin says, waving his free hand in the air. “I just don’t want our first kiss to be for the cameras.”
Obi-Wan catches Anakin’s palm and brings it up to kiss lightly. “You’re right, Anakin. That should just be for you and me.”
The rough brush of his lips over his skin causes Anakin to shiver. He’s never felt so on edge, as if his body is a live-wire. “Good thing you ordered the oysters,” he mumbles, blushing bright red as Obi-Wan laughs loud enough to fill the whole restaurant with its sound.
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Text
I need to guuuuuuuuuuuuuush
I’m absolutely obsessed with Owari No Seraph/Seraph of the End. It has everything I want in a story
okay this got long so I put a cut
A romance I’m actually invested in: 1) it’s gay, like not even ambiguously gay, like very explicitly gay and it’s remarkable 2) it’s somehow enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, and childhood friends to lovers ALL AT THE SAME TIME 3) the mutual pining is ridiculous, but manifests in “I MUST PROTECT” 4) omg they’re so devoted to each other???? 5) heavily implied in the anime and manga that they are each other’s reason for living after their trauma
Ambiguous characters: 1) we’ve got not one, not two, BUT THREE HIGH RANKING CHARACTERS within their respective organizations with THEIR OWN AGENDAS, screw whoever gets in their way 2) one of the said lovers from above pairing? Technically, he’s officially on one side, but he makes it very clear he actually doesn’t care about anyone EXCEPT his love interest and actively goes behinds people’s backs all the time to get what he wants. He has exactly 0 trust except for his love interest, which means he’ll literally fight both sides to make sure love interest is safe 3) THE FREAKING QUEEN, at first she’s like in a terrible one sided relationship with one of the characters with like... uh what’s it called? Power imbalance? Like she is 100% in control of this other person because they are wholly dependent on her, and she knows it, and often calls this other person her pet, and like, you think you’re supposed to hate her because she’s one of the contributing factors to the other character’s trauma but then it’s like, wait, actually, maybe she ALSO has ulterior motives and is one of the few people said character can actually trust with their wellbeing and their own interests being the only one who actively helps them with it 4) HMMM THAT SUPER SHADY DEMON/HUMAN ROMANCE YOU KNOW THE ONE IM TALKING ABOUT
Characters that suffer: okay listen, all of the characters have suffered through trauma, but special shout-out to Mika who has gone through my favorite kind of trauma to watch that develops characters. Spoilers for the rest of this paragraph so if you want to check out the show skip over it. okay gone? for real? you okay with getting spoiled if you haven’t seen yet? alright. last chance. Okay so first thing we know about Mika is that he’s an orphan and has a found family with his orphanage group right? even when they’re all being held captive by vampires underground, he at least has his family. Mika goes above and beyond to make sure that despite that they’re essentially just acting as the vampires’ blood-stock that their time there isn’t as bad as it could be. He offers himself up to one of the nobles, saying the noble can suck his blood if he gives him things, so he gets stuff like actual real food for his family to eat. In the manga, you can see that this is really draining on him, but he does it to see his family happy. Mika also knows that his crush absolutely hates it there, so he plans an escape, except oops they all get ambushed by the very noble he stole from and was swindling, and literally everyone gets killed in front of him except his crush, well I guess at the time he was too young for crush, so I’ll just call him Yuu. Anyways. Mika and Yuu manage to knock out the vampire noble working together, but Mika is fatally wounded so only Yuu actually escapes. AND THEN MIKA IS FORCIBLY TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE BY THE QUEEN, like he hates vampires, he considers them monsters, he doesn’t want eternal life or whatever, AND SHE FREAKING TURNS HIM TO KEEP HIM FROM DYING (the way she does it too could be considered traumatizing as well) and then he proceeds to be raised by people he considers monsters and hates that he’s become a vampire, and like does everything in his power to not drink human blood (resorting to drinking the Queen’s blood, and she’s fine with it cuz it keeps him completely dependent on her) like MMMM THAT POWER IMBALANCE IN A WORLD FULL OF THE MONSTERS YOU HATE WHILE BECOMING ONE YOURSELF IS ALREADY DAMAGING ENOUGH, and then he finds out that the very adults he used to trust as a child, were actually just treating him and his found family as guinea pigs and lab rats and that the only people who actually cared about him was his found family, who are all gone except for Yuu who isn’t there, so yeah oops, he hates humans now too. Like mmmm that is some tasty juicy angst right there. It manifests in him never smiling anymore, never speaking, just sitting there stoically. Like this was the little boy who was happy smiles all the time, either when he was genuinely happy with his family or putting on an act to deceive and he’s just so broken after the timeskip that we never see him smile until late in season 2. OH LETS NOT FORGET THE WHOLE VAMPIRE THING RIGHT? Mika doesn’t want to drink blood, but his body compells him to. He refuses to at least drink human blood, which works for a while but by the time the second season rolls around, the queen’s blood just isn’t cutting it anymore and there are so many scenes where his instincts take over and he almost bites someone only to snap out of it last second and start sobbing because he believes he’s becoming a monster. AND THAT’S NOT EVEN ALL OF IT, JUST THE THINGS THAT I LIKED THE MOST TO WATCH
spoilers over
the side characters: While I do think they could use a little bit more development, but that’s probably because they’re not quite rubbing me just the right way like Mika is, so they pale by comparison BUT there are some things I enjoy 1) we’ve got a literal troll on the team. I’ve seen some people call her annoying, but omg I love seeing her troll the others. also she uses a scythe and it’s awesome 2) OMG THERE’S A SWEET BABI BOY ARCHER??? slight spoilers, but my favorite part was when he reveals that his demon decided to give him more powers because he treats his demon like a friend, and talks to it at night before going to bed, sometimes asking it what it’s favorite color is?? 3) okay okay okay, listen, I already like the character by himself, the sniper dude, he’s already great as he’s written. But then add the fact that not only does he look EXACTLY like Victor Nikiverov from Yuri on Ice, BUT HE HAS THE SAME FREAKING VOICE ACTOR TOO that just cracks me up 4) I love the one vampire side character who keeps trying to befriend Mika, and Mika just keeps stonewalling him 5) honestly the queen is really badass, and as much as I hated her at first, I actually enjoy every second she’s on screen 6) There’s a vampire called Crowley and idk what it is with him but he just gives me “Big Fun” vibes even though he’s one of the most ruthless characters in the show
plot and arcs: it doesn’t drag itself on and on and on, it actually completes goals and important benchmarks fairly quickly so we don’t need to keep waiting on things to happen. But at the same time, is so drawn out that you still can’t help but feel like it’s taking forever to get to where you want it to go and it’s great because it means you get so much story to enjoy. Also, the fact that the protagonists always have one clear goal at a time, but us as the viewers see other things happening behind the scenes, without always understanding what they are, and we’re stuck seeing this collision path where everything is gonna intersect and you know it’s going to be terrible and there characters are going to suffer but you love that. 
anyways, Seraph of the end is super good, I loved it, the anime isn’t enough so I’m actually chasing after the Manga for once. Mika is officially one of my all-time favorite characters and he deserves to be happy. If you know what I’m talking about cheer with me, if you haven’t seen it yet, omgggggggggggggggggggg GO CHECK IT OUT IF ANY OF THE THINGS I SAID APPEAL TO YOU
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neo-ct23 · 3 years
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please do yangyang for the fluff alphabet:)
Hey y’all, I will say please only request one person at a time because I’m doing these in response to asks and I’m indecisive!!
Also, sorry about the delay on this! These are pretty time consuming. If anyone wants to send easier or shorter asks I’d love to do those!!
Affection: Their love language & how affectionate they are.
Annoying little kisses. Tries to piss you off sometimes but it’s out of love.
Behavior: How their behavior is when it’s just the two of you vs with their other members around.
I feel like he’s very authentic. Doesn’t act super different around others. Probably a lot sweeter around you. Annoys you but always regrets it.
Cuddles: HC about cuddling with them.
Probably plays with your hair. Says he doesn’t like when you play with his but he actually loves it.
Dates: First date & their favorite thing to do on dates as well.
Probably takes you out & you get all dressed up, except instead of him taking you to a nice restaurant he’d take you to a fast food place or maybe even a bodega. Finds a way to make it romantic though. It turns into his favorite date activity.
Effort: The ways they put effort into their relationships. How they to the extra mile.
Buys you stuff!!! We already know he’s a big spender and spending his money on you would be his favorite. Also of course affection.
Future: How often they think of the future, their plans, etc.
I mean he’s made that comment about “anything can happen” before, however I don’t think he thinks about the future that much. Probably only does it when he has a deep conversation with someone. Also when he’s drunk. Probably not direct about it with you.
Gifts: What they like to both give and get for gifts.
Designer clothes, jewelry, shoes you want, plushies and blankets, probably once buys you a pillow cover with his face on it.
Habits: Any habits, good or bad, that they may have.
He’s always annoying the other members, as we know. However, he knows when to stop and be serious. Sometimes it gets out of hand.
Insecurity: Their main insecurity and how to comfort them about it.
Probably insecure about his talent. Rapping, singing, dancing, etc. He first came to SM barely knowing how to do any of it and has come such a long way since then. Still not sure if all the effort he’s put in has made him talented though.
Junior: What they were probably like as a kid.
Troublemaker. Not as much of one as he could have been, but probably the clumsy kid who became a troublemaker. Was probably good in school though.
Kisses: Your first kiss story and their favorite type of kiss
Honestly I feel like Yangyang would kiss someone even before the first date. Maybe you’re hanging out and there’s an awkward moment of silence before he just slowly leans in and kisses you softly. A very soft first kiss. He’s too shy to touch you. His favorite types of kisses hmmm. Probably loves when you kiss his neck and loves kissing your hand.
Liquor: How well they handle it/how much they can handle.
Probably one of the members in wayv that drinks the most, but I don’t see him drinking much. He enjoys his life the way it is and doesn’t feel the need to alter it with alcohol. Drinks casually. Handles it pretty well. Probably starts saying random stuff in German when he’s drunk.
Mature: How mature or immature they are and the ways they show it.
Quite immature, but that’s nothing new. Annoys everyone, but as I said before he usually knows when to stop.
No: A dealbreaker for them. Something they couldn’t deal with in a relationship.
If you’re not patient in general or patient with him, he’d feel like he’s wasting your time. Would also feel bad about being his true self around you.
Online: How public your relationship would be. Whether or not they’d post about you online.
Wouldn’t be able to resist posting about you. Posts shots of you sleeping or you guys holding hands.
Protective: How protective and jealous they get.
Gets more jealous than protective. I feel like he especially feels jealous if you’re talking to Lucas. I get the vibe that as close as they are, he’s very intimidated by Lucas and would feel like he’s losing you to him.
Quarrel: What fights would be like with them, what they’d be about, etc. Might get a lil angsty.
Probably not a lot of serious fights but I feel like if they were, he’d be a really good listener. Might get defensive, but still would try his best to understand.
Room: What their room is like, living habits, etc.
Not the neatest or the quietest, that’s for sure. He does room with Kun, though, so maybe he’s improved/improving.
Social: Their favorite way to communicate with their s/o when they’re not around, how social they are, etc.
Very social all the time. Social battery is long lasting. People get tired of him before he can get tired of them.
Travel: Where they want to go & what they want to do.
Probably wants to go back to Europe and explore more of it. Especially Germany and England to visit and probably wants to explore Italy or Spain.
Unwind: What helps them relax after a long day.
He’d be so sleepy he’d just take a nap. Probably sleeps way longer than intended and wakes up the next morning instead.
Vulnerable: What makes them vulnerable & why.
Talking about his jealousy. He probably hates talking about emotions with you. Doesn’t want you to know he’s insecure.
Wedding: whether or not they want to get married, if/how they would want to do it, etc.
Probably in the distant future. As I said before, he doesn’t think too hard about the future. Wants to do it but doesn’t care how it happens.
X: an AU that comes to mind.
I could definitely see him as a barista. Would get all nervous seeing attractive people come into the coffee shop.
You: Their absolute favorite thing about you & why.
He loves your hands. Loves to hold them and loves when they’re on him. Especially back hugs & hand holding.
Zzz: Cute sleeping HC.
Sleeps in ball form. Quiet sleeper. Gets adorable bedhead in the morning. Probably sleeps with a sleep mask.
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nex-ture · 3 years
Note
Woo jumping in for a matchup! (~‾▿‾)~
A genshin to be more specific!
Okay! Uhh the name is Sonya/Ras, depends on what you wish to call me.
Pronouns that i prefer are she/her yet i absolutely do not mind getting called they/them he/him.
I have a pretty uhh confusing personality. Okay just imagine a mixed personality of Dabi/Bakugou and Kaeya/Childe. Basically i am mostly chill and pretty friendly but i am very fast in switching stuff up and just snapping.
My friends always tell me that it feels like i am on a thin thread constantly. That usually gives them the idea to use me as the "scary dog"? Yk to not let other ppl approach them.
I am insecure as fuck and probably need someone to hit me with a chair of affection and reassurance. Also whenever i notice that i am getting too close to a person i try to push them away from me so i wont develop feelings and just be sure in myself i guess.
I could get possessive etc, nothing too extreme.
Hmmm now looks, I am uhh p tall, nearly 180cm, i think that is Diluc's height too. I have kinda long hair?? Idk how to explain it so i will just upload a pic of my persona so you can have an idea of what i look like i suppose! Sorry if I don't manage to help out with it </3
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The first matchup! This one I was stuck between to characters so I just...Did both. Wow I'm so creative, no but I hope you like it!
I match you with...
~ Venti ~
You like the dynamic of "One with energy" and "One with no energy". Venti will drag you places such as taverns just so you can get drinks.
He is legally not allowed to order drinks because he looks younger than he is. So you will have to order for him.
This man will use you for svary dog privileges, he doesn't look intimidating at all so you're his only hope against the evil Abyss.
He will absolutely sot by the statue of the seven and play with your hair. He is a free god and will enjoy any free time he gets alone with you.
Though he's not thrilled with your height difference, he will ise it as an excuse to let him ride on your back.
Just know if you push Venti away he will only come back again. You truly can not get rod of this man.
* Scaramouche *
Ah yes, that couple. The fatui very much knows who you are, due to Scaramouche keeping you near him at all times.
He will not let anyone hurt you, he also believes having you around will amke people fear him more since he doesn't look frightening.
Childe will flirt with you just to piss off Scaramouche. And it works, every single time.
He will physically fight you if you think badly about yourself. And will have people kill anyone you want for you. Just say the words and it's yours.
Scaramouche will do anything to amke you ahooy. Especially since he's new to the dating field. He will let you wear his hat maybe once or twice.
But will take it back because he got jealous you wore it better. He very much wants to play with your hair because he thinks it looks fluffy. But he'd be caught dead before admitting that.
At the end of the day you both need a little help with lobe and you're both figuring it out but thats okay.
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utterlyinevitable · 3 years
Note
1, 3, 7, 17, 33 for both E x B and E x O from the useful/fun character development questions for couples please! Thank you ❤️
> useful/fun character development questions for couples <
1. What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re…hot…”
Rebecca has eyes so that was the initial catalyst for her. She’d let Whoever this dark and stormy handsome giraffe was dick her down. 
Ethan won’t admit it but that evening of her first day when she bought him a drink is when he would really let himself be attracted to her, if only for 15 minutes. Then undeniably after the Dolores case he was fucked. That night he inquired about her tattoo at her wrist and she told him the story behind it. Not only was the ink hot but also her mind behind it.
Ethan was initially attracted to Odette that first day, she has all the qualities of women he normally entertain. But then she seemed really put off by him and that kind of turned him off a bit. He started getting the stirrings again after her trial towards the beginning of book 2 when they became more friendly - who else would he occasionally text on his sabbatical besides his dads? The way she just cared for him and treated him like a person and not like just a mentor or the man on the pedestal everybody believes him to be. She intellectually spars with him but in the most delightful ways and that gets him in his feels. She just seems to be always there. The whole Louise drama is when he solidified that he’s attracted and has romantic feelings for her. 
One day at impromptu brunch they’re talking and laughing and the light is hitting just right and Ethan is smiling and looking at her and something in her just kind of melts. In that moment she knew that they were much more than they were pretending to be.
3. By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh…I adore them…”
The feeling of total adoration hmmm... 
Ode was after her trial and they were having a drink and just a good time maybe? They’ve both been through a lot the last few weeks and they’ve come out of it as friends. 
Ethan after seeing everything she did for Naveen and for him was a start to this girl being a fixture in his life. He became very fond of her then. But the big smack in the head (or to the heart) was the Louise drama. He couldn’t have come through without her, and she didn’t need to be so sweet nor did she need to be taking care of him again. But she does. Because she’s always there, and she cares. Even if she doesn’t say it, even if he’s still quite sure that she cannot stand him most of the time, she’s by his side holding him up. 
Odette really couldn’t tell you when she went from I know this guy is my friend I’ll keep him to I know I like him much more than my other friends. I’m assuming it would be at some point during all of the events they go to together and just all the time they spend together. Where she starts slowly, gradually falling for him in deep adoration. Most notably hitting her heart is when she gets the keyboard - that changed everything. Followed up by the night of the charity auction where they just walked around the local area of Boston and grabbed a bite to eat at a dive they both joked they needed to make up for in the morning, in their formal get ups and just had a lovely evening.
Rebecca fell in deep adoration with him in the moments they spend pouring over Naveen’s case. His passion and they way he talked about medicine with bright eyes and a crooked boyish smile had her heart melting. These moments were also just theirs - no one knew they were spending all this extra time together. 
Is it weird to say Ethan realized he adored her whilst in the Amazon? Distance makes the heart grow fonder and whatnot. Which is also why he’s a total asshole to her when he comes back - he needs to fight this feeling with anger. Repress repress repress! 
7. Do they (or would they) pursue the other character’s affection, and if so, how? Do they tell the other character how they feel? Try to earn their admiration? Woo them with romantic gestures? Flirt with them, skillfully or otherwise?
Becca continually pursues Ethan even when she’s ‘seeing’ Bryce - her heart is always with Ethan. She tells him in not so many words but she refuses to say I love you. That’s one thing she will never let him have hanging over her head - she’s embarrassed herself enough by believing him again and again that saying the words out loud could break her/them. She wants it to be his choice if they’re going to be that romantic with one another. She flirts with him naturally and not artfully most times. And Ethan takes it all; he enjoys it even if he knows he can’t go any further than these little quips.
Ethan doesn’t pursue Becca’s affections (he says, he caves a few times and refuses to acknowledge them). He pretty much denies them at every chance he can throughout second year and the beginning of first. As long as he’s employed at Edenbrook they can’t be anything and he stands by that. But then the toxin happens and he can’t not pursue her. Not anymore. Not since she broke up with bryce for him and he shut her down again. Not when she nearly died in his arms. Although he doesn’t want the affections at the beginning, he seeks it out so he flirt with her. Meets every one of her attempts with a half smile and does all he can to pull laughter from her. If he can’t be with her the least he could do is bring a bit of joy.
With Odette, Ethan is the one to pursue his own affection with that kiss and all the little friendly things that become staples in their lives. He doesn’t believe he’s ever actually blatantly flirted with her, everything just came so naturally. 
Ode is completely oblivious to Ethan‘s affections until he kisses her. Well, she had an inkling only because Sienna told her that nobody buys that expensive of a keyboard for simply a friend. While Ode agrees, she doesn’t want to believe it. So she doesn’t. She doesn’t think she pursues any sort of affections for him. But she does. In the way they spend time together, in the way that they talk and subtly flirt and spend all their free time together. In the small gifts of admiration and trinkets they bring to one another just to see the smile.
17. Under what circumstances would they want to be left alone by their partner?
OxE: After an argument or a stressful situation. They’re both quite introverted and need alone time (both) or silence (ethan) to sort through their thoughts. Odette also likes to have alone time once a week - a few hours in an afternoon to just be in herself. She hates the quiet though, so there’s always music playing in the background or something on Netflix. 
BxE: Ethan wants to be left alone when he has lots of work to do, or he’s had an argument with anyone. Whenever he’s feeling heightened emotions he wants to settle it on his own like he’s so used to doing. If Becca’s pissed or on her period she likes to be left alone. If she’s reading she needs pure quiet and will do that when he’s working in another room etc. 
33. Under what circumstances would they feel jealous?
Ethan has more protective jealousy. Of others treating Odette like a piece of meat/sexual object and her letting them. The amount of times she entertains random men who look at her wolfishly when they’re at events and never shuts them down (until they try to move things into ‘more’ territory). When she becomes really really busy with the app and they’re passing ships in the night he’s a little jealous of her professionally - wishes he could be part of this. but it’s hers. and he is part of it in a way. He’s also a little envious of her relationship with her parents. 
Ode isn’t a jealous person at all. She does too much into yoga and meditation for that. She just wants the best for everyone. 
Becca trusts Ethan but she doesn’t trust other women. When she and Ethan are in the early days of dating she’s insecure-ish and will playfully make comments that are meant to be a joke but rooted in jealousy - about how he’s too old for her, questions why he’s not with X, what he sees in Y or not in Z. The longer they’re together they have an unspoken game that ends up in some hot sex. But then the years go by and they’re too codependent. 
Ethan is jealous of her relationship with Bryce and a little bit of the guy she was dating in med school. He has personal doubts about them aside from his ethics and morals, like his age, how they don’t really have all that much in common, how much they fight. He’s more stuck in thinking about Becca’s potential with everyone that isn’t him - he’s afraid he’s going to fail/ruin her. 
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fangirlovestuff · 4 years
Text
Worth It - Andy Barber x reader
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a/n- Hey lovely people! this was written for @stargazingfangirl18​​ & @navybrat817​​ ‘s shameless hoes for chris challenge, and I can’t be happier that our baby Andy’s first appearance on this blog is for their challenge! thoughts are in italics and the prompt is in bold. also a disclaimer - i’ve never been to a singles mixer lol. Enjoy!<3
Prompts: We are the only two people at this god awful event who seemed to be utterly miserable, so let’s be miserable together & “Can you just not right now?”
Summary: you never believed in singles mixers, but something about this stranger might just change that...
Word count: ~2,570
Warnings: smut!!, explicit language. please don’t read if you are uncomfortable with those things!
Your eyes wandered around the room for the umpteenth time that night. It was packed full of people who were talking to one another, mostly paired up, usually leaning towards each other. Lashes were flattered, muscles were subtly flexed, arms brushed "accidentally". The usual joys of a singles mixer.
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Why the fuck did you let your friend convince you to come with her? She was currently talking to some douchebag in a suit that was clearly rented to make him look fancier but didn't even fit him that well. You had a sense of admiration for her for being optimistic enough to believe she'll find a guy in these things.
You, however, didn't share that sentiment. You hung out close to the bar, downing a couple of drinks and quickly shutting down any attempt any male has made to talk to you. About five minutes after you got here you realized there wasn't anyone there who looked like they could fit you. Who knows, maybe your taste in men was a bit much, but you certainly wouldn't lower your standards for the men in that room.
Now, forty minutes later, you were just about ready to bail, but you didn't want to leave your friend alone. So, you just sat there, fumbling with your phone, hoping your friend would soon realize how pointless this was.
As you were ordering another drink, you caught the door opening slightly from the corner of your eye. Probably someone who's late. Although you couldn't fathom what was the point of arriving to these things late. To be fair, you couldn't fathom the reason to be at these things at all. 
Sure, you wanted to find love. But you had pretty much given up on the idea that there was someone out there for you. That was a bit of a naïve notion in your opinion, the search for true love. Anyway, you did fine on your own, it's not like you needed a man in your life.
Doesn't mean you didn't want one though.
You drowned that thought and the extra drink you had just gotten. You should probably cut back on the drinks; you don't want to be hungover the next day.
You suddenly realized someone was coming to lean on the bar beside you. He ordered a drink, deep voice reaching your ears despite the chatter in the room. You lifted your head from your phone to look at the stranger from the corner of your eye. He shrugged the suit jacket off his shoulders and sat down. 
Damn, he definitely wasn't here before. Probably the one who just got in, you realized. You looked at his handsome profile, brown hair that seemed soft to touch, and a suit that actually fit his quite broad frame. 
Maybe this night isn't gonna be such a waste after all. Sure, you didn't expect to fall in love, but it's been a while since you got laid. The stranger caused a tingly sensation inside you that made want to change that.
He looked over at you, blue eyes piercing into yours. You noticed the way his lashes cast a slight shadow on his cheekbones, and that beard was framing his face very nicely. There was really no other way to say it, he was hella hot.
"Can you just not right now?" he said suddenly and sighed. You raised your eyebrows and scoffed, diverting your gaze into your nearly empty glass and pursing your lips. Okay, never mind, asshole alert.
"I'm sorry," he said after a moment passed. "I'm just not really interested in meeting anyone right now. I saw you looking at me so—"
"Whatever," you cut him off, a little embarrassed he caught you ogling him. "If you aren't interested in anything, why are you even here?"
"A friend forced me into it. She basically pushed me through the door," he chuckled, sipping his drink. 
A she friend. Maybe that's the reason he wasn't interested. "Well, I can't say I don't understand that," you sympathized, scouring the room in search of your friend again. You were just in time to catch her going out the door with that douche. "Shit," you muttered under your breath.
"Excuse me?" he asked, equal parts amused and puzzled. 
"My friend just left with some jerk," you downed the rest of your drink, "and as the person who talked me into this shithole, that's rude of her," you sent a tight-lipped smile to the stranger. "So now I'm pretty much stranded here because she was my ride home." You opened your phone to order an Uber. You blamed the alcohol for making you overshare like this.
"Hey," the stranger said, "How about we have a drink and I could give you a ride home? Duffy threatened to wait outside for a half-hour to make sure I stay, and I have no doubt she's gonna make good on that," he smiled.
"Hmmm, excuse me if I'm not gonna jump on that offer, complete stranger I just met," you smirked.
"Oh, right, sorry. Where I come from everyone knows me," he said, surprisingly bitter. "I'm Andy," he smiled.
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Andy," you said and introduced yourself. "So, you're a celeb where you come from, huh? What do you do?" 
"I'm- I was a lawyer. Right now, I'm looking for a job. And celeb isn't really the word I would use," he said in that bitter tone once more. You got the message – he really didn't want to talk about it.
"So is Duffy a lawyer too?" you changed the subject quickly.
"No, she's a cop, but we worked together sometimes," he said. "What about you, what do you do?"
You spent the next few minutes getting to know each other, the conversation flowing easily. He had more wit in his little finger than most people you met at these things had in their whole body. Smart's the new sexy, but it's not like he wasn't sexy enough as it is.
"So, how come your friend talked you into coming here and then left you?" he asked.
"Well, we're the only two of our friends who aren't married, or engaged or whatever, so everyone's nagging us to 'find someone'. She really thinks these things are the place where she could find her person. I, personally, think it's bullshit," you said and he chuckled. "But hey, the things you do for your friends," you shrugged. 
"Yeah," he looked at you and smiled. He thought he was being subtle, but you noticed the way his eyes quickly moved to your cleavage, which was looking quite nice in this dress if you could say so yourself, and back to your face. Maybe not all hope for tonight was lost, you thought, and leaned forward a little. 
"See that dude over there? What do you think he's saying to that poor girl?" you asked.
"He's probably telling her how romantic and chivalrous he is just to get into her pants," he shrugged and you chuckled. "What about that couple? What do you think they're talking about?" he asked.
"Oh, I'm so in love with you!" you said in a slightly high-pitched voice, imitating the girl, "Yeah, baby, me too," you said in a lower voice. "And then they'll move in together, break up and get into an ugly fight over who gets to keep the house," you finished your story and Andy laughed.
The conversation continued to flow, both of you making fun of some other people, but now it seemed you were both in a competition. It started with you leaning forward to bring your cleavage into view, but he caught on quickly, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top button, his Adam's apple bobbing and god did that make you wanna suck on his neck.
You made the next move, crossing your legs in a way that you knew would make your dress ride up a little, exposing more skin. Andy visibly swallowed but you continued talking like you didn't notice. He rolled up his sleeves, and at this point, it was clear you both knew what you were doing. You were already hot and bothered, and he didn't even touch you yet, not even in the most innocent way. 
"Well," Andy looked at his phone, "I think we're clear, Duffy must've gone home by now. Come on, let's go."
You got up and so did Andy, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair.
When you went outside it was surprisingly cold. You shivered a bit and Andy noticed it from the corner of his eye, dropping his jacket over your shoulder. You smiled at him in thanks. 
The drive was mostly filled with silence, besides you giving him directions to your house. It seemed you were both immersed in your own thoughts, but it was a comfortable silence. Your gaze fluttered on him once more. You noticed his hands on the steering wheel, more specifically the ring-shaped tan. Well, if he didn't wanna talk about it that's his prerogative.
"Here, you can pull over right there," you pointed to an empty parking spot across from your building. 
"Do you want to come up and have a coffee? I gotta thank you for the ride home somehow," you smiled. 
"Sure," he said and turned off the car, going out. You gave him his jacket back as you both entered the building.
The tension in the elevator could be cut with a knife. It seemed that once you were finally alone, your thoughts were running wild.
You finally reached your apartment, opening the door and showing Andy in. You turned to lock the apartment door behind you. "If you want you can leave your jacket—"
You turned back around and suddenly his lips were on yours, pushing hungrily. You felt his tongue licking slightly against your lips, seeking entrance you granted gladly, your tongue battling with his as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His hands wandered down your body, grabbing your ass and squeezing it lightly as you moaned into his mouth. He moved his hands to your hips lifting you up, and you wrapped your legs around his waist as you started to unbutton his shirt.
"Second door on the left," you parted your lips just long enough to rasp that out and then returned to feverishly kissing him once more. 
He made his way to the bedroom, carrying you in his arms with little effort. He pushed you against the bedroom door and you reached to open it and then pushed his now unbuttoned shirt down from his shoulders. He groaned and put you down to finish getting rid of his shirt, while you quickly pushed your dress over your head, leaving you in your underwear.
Andy's breath hitched at the sight before his lips were back on you again, nipping at your collarbone, your jaw, your neck, while you reached to get rid of his belt, unzipping his pants. He stepped out of them and you started walking back towards the bed, a tangled mess of hands and lips colliding.
Once you were on the bed he reached to unclasp your bra, throwing it to the side and attaching his lips to your breast, swirling his tongue around your hardened nipple. You arched your chest against his mouth, nails gently scraping on his back as you clung to him. Almost without you noticing his hand trailed down to take off your underwear, fingers expertly teasing your clit as you ground against him, silently asking for more. He put two fingers inside you, the wet sound echoing in the room, and you would almost be embarrassed if it didn't feel so damn good. 
Your lips found his neck, fulfilling your earlier wish and sucking on it, leaving a bite. You started palming him through his boxers, reaching a hand inside to stroke his length as he groaned into your neck. He pulled his finger out of you and before you managed to whimper at the loss, he captured your lips in his, devouring your mouth as he discarded his boxers. 
You parted from him and reached into your bedside drawer to pull out a condom. He quickly slid it on and wasted no time pushing into you, bottoming out in one thrust. You gasped at the stretch, which quickly dissipated once he started moving, snapping his hips onto yours and making you cry out in pleasure.
You clenched around him, the coil in your stomach tightening, and his thrusts started becoming erratic as he brought his fingers to your clit once more, flicking it harshly until came around him with a scream of pleasure, milking him through his orgasm as well. 
He stayed inside you, the both of you panting until he finally pulled out and went to throw the condom. You were too fucked out to whimper at the loss, only closing your eyes until you felt the bed dip beside you. Andy laid down beside you, tentatively wrapping an arm around you, to which you said nothing, only cuddled a bit into him.
The next morning you woke up to the smell of fresh coffee filling your senses. You were puzzled until you saw the discarded clothes and remembered the events of last night. Sighing in content, you got up, putting on a new pair of underwear and picking up Andy's shirt, leaving the few top buttons open as you made your way to the kitchen.
Andy was leaning against the countertop, shirtless with only his pants on, sipping a cup of coffee and scrolling on his phone, and didn't notice your soft footsteps.
"Good morning," you said softly, drawing his attention towards you. "Glad to see you've made yourself at home," you chuckled and came closer to him.
"Sorry," he said, averting his gaze, "I just really needed that coffee before the drive home. But there's more if you want some."
You thanked him and poured yourself a cup of coffee. 
"So…" he started.
"So?" you smiled.
"I had a great time last night. The whole evening," he added quickly. "So… let me take you out sometime. On a date. Please," he smiled. 
"I'd love that," you smiled at him. 
You exchanged numbers and the rest of your breakfast went on uneventfully, until Andy had to go. "Can I have my shirt back?" he asked, grinning.
"Oh, I don't know," you said, pretending to contemplate it, "I'm pretty sure you look better without it."
You both laughed. You went to your room to change and gave him back the shirt. 
"Have a nice drive home," you said. And then, in a surge of confidence, you kissed him, pushing your lips against his with passion. "One for the road," you smirked.
Andy smirked back, no doubt on board with your antics. "I'll call you," he said and opened the door, going into the hall.
"You better!" you called after him, a smile on your face as you watched him go into the elevator and out of sight.
You closed the door and leaned on it, lost in your thoughts like a schoolgirl in love, and then you realized – shit. 
You had actually met a cute guy at a singles mixer. Your friends were never gonna let you live that down. Oh well, you thought, he seems like he's worth it.
hope you enjoyed!! whoosh i love andy barber so much ok bye
Chris Taglist: @swatson06 @horny-nd-bored​ @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds​ @phoebe-21-99 @wintersoldierslut​ @iceebabies​ @wanessalopesueiros @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree​ @kaitcordx25 @bequeening​ @steve-barry-damon-logan​ @itscrazycherryblossomcollection​ @hollandxmarvel​ @darkwitchfromthesouth
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Text
Remember Me ~ Worick Arcangelo x Reader
Disclaimer: This is going to have mentions of past abuse and supposedly illegal behaviour, but considering it’s Gangsta we’re talking about, I don’t think anyone should be surprised by darker themes addresses.
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Birthdays...Have always been tedious. A drag. More work than they are worth...So, I wonder...Why do I actually bother doing a party at my home?
I mean, it’s true, I get it, I’m 21, I’m of age...Legally an adult, legally allowed to drink, legally everything whatever...The same as it has been for the past 3 years...
And MAYBE it’s fun to sometimes gather around with your friends and do the same things everyone always does at parties, loud music, alcohol, cigarettes and gossips...
But there is always that annoying anxiety feeling surging through my veins whenever I have to be around more than 3 of my friends, considering this is a party organised by me, and everything has to be done perfectly, everyone must feel good, and at home, not to be left out...
I can already envision myself being the only outcast, anyway, but that’s besides the point.
It’s already evening, the alcohol is sitting on the table, the pizza boxes are stacked up in a mountain on the floor, plastic cups everywhere, ash trays placed strategically, dim lights, coloured light projectors to make the room look like a disco...
And then there’s me. Sitting anxiously on the couch in the living room, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a long plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up, along with some silver rings and a necklace. Casual, comfy, yet pretty elegant in its simplicity.
My friends arrived soon, very loudly congratulating me on aging one more year, fantastic...But they had a mischievous smirk on their faces...
And they brought in a tall, blond man who looked very macho, and I could only blink in confusion as everyone walked inside.
“Uhm...Who is he? One of yours boyfriend or something?” I asked, eyeing everyone attentively. “Nooo, silly! He’s our gift for you!” my best friend grabbed the man by his arm, shoving him towards me. “I’m...Not sure I follow.” I spoke with even more unease, not wanting to believe what I was hearing. “He’s Ergastulum’s most wanted Gigolo! And tonight, he’s all yours to do with as you please! C’mon, you deserve to let loose and have fun once in a while, y’know? Forget about all those jerks and enjoy pleasure like you’ve never felt before~!” my other best friend grabbed me by my shoulders from behind, putting her chin on top of one of her hands, slurring seductively. “...I see.” I muttered, looking away, trying to mask my displeasure at what I was hearing. “Anyway, let’s get you drunk! You won’t get to enjoy anything if you’re so cold and reserved with everyone, y’know? Maybe that’s why you’re always alone! Now c’mon, let’s have fun!” she dragged me to the drinks table, and we started playing drinking games like never have I ever...
Gotta say, Vodka and Bailey’s has always been a shot combination that I adore, and I’m grateful that it takes a long time to get me drunk, because these girls are wasted, while I’m not, so I can escape their grasp. Drunk dancing isn’t that fun, even to watch, and they were making fools of themselves, screeching, giggling...More or less sounding like pained donkeys.
Or maybe I’m just too judgemental and mean because I’ve been in a bad mood and spiraling since they got in my home. To be fair, I don’t even care what is the truth. These are my feelings and I’m not going to play them off as insignificant or non-existent.
Eyeing them carefully, I take a pack of cigarettes and make my way out of the house and sit on the stairs, taking a deep breath of the cold winter night air, I light up a cigarette, taking a drag and staring up at the sky, letting my endless train of toxic thoughts overwhelm me.
I was so long in my own mind that I didn’t notice the door opening until a shadow blocked my vision, and I noticed the platinum blond man sitting down on the stairs below me, resting his back on the wall on the side.
“Y’know...I haven’t been to many birthday parties before, but I’m pretty sure the birthday girl is supposed to be pampered and the center of attention, and yet, here you are, outside, alone and sad.” the man spoke seriously, with his usual light glint. “How much did they pay you?” I muttered, lighting another cigarette, realising that the other one burn without taking another drag of it. “Hmmm? What do you mean?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. “I’m tipsy, not stupid. You think I can’t think rationally after 8 shots? You’re dead wrong. Now, tell me, how much did they pay you and what exactly did they tell you to do?” I asked in a pressed tone, side-eyeing him. “You’re certainly perceptive, I give you that. T’was quite a lot of money to spend the night with you.” he tilted his head in a playful way. “Not only they have no faith in me to get someone to even remotely like me...They have to pay someone to do something that I dread with a burning passion. Do you even know my name? I don’t know yours.” I shrugged, hanging my head, gritting my teeth in annoyance. “I see your friends screwed up a bit. Name’s Worick, nice to meet you.” he extended his hand towards me. “...Y/N. Nice to meet you too...I think.” I sighed, staring reluctantly at his hand, before slowly shaking it. “Pretty name for a pretty girl. Wanna talk to a guy you’ll never see again? I heard that venting and letting out pent up emotions helps.” he offered, making me look at him with a weird face. “You know you’re not gonna get any action, so you try to do something for the money you earned, huh?” I snorted, raking my fingers through my hair. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. Contrary to my profession, I’m a pretty chill guy. What do you have to lose, talking to someone you’ll never see again? And besides, I have little room to judge you, so if that’s your worry, you can throw it away.” he lit up a cigarette, puffing up into the sky. “You’re...Not wrong here. Okay, fine, Pretty Boy. Imagine this. You’re not even of age, you get your first lover and you’re happy. You finally feel superior. Someone gives a fuck about you...That’s the definition of a lover, after all, I guess...But here’s the deal. Barely one month into the relationship, the person starts getting very pushy and pressures you, without you realising. Words and actions. It goes to the point that they force you to do things that you don’t want to and you’re not ready to, mentally or physically...And you can’t do anything except for denying, since they don’t listen and they overpower you. How is that, so far?” I spoke, taking a few breaks in between sentences to keep myself grounded and lucid. “Very suckish. Does any of your friends know that?” Worick asked in a gentle voice. “They do...My two best friends do. The ones who apparently paid you. I don’t know what’s in those tiny brains of theirs, but I don’t think a one night stand is going to somehow magically get me rid of all problems, traumas, self-issues and nightmares I’ve been having for the last years. Or maybe I’m just paranoid. I don’t know, and at this point, I can’t stay that I care.” I shrugged, leaning back on the stairs. “Maybe you have the wrongs friends. I heard words about you that I don’t think friends should speak like that about their so called best friend who trusted them enough with their bad experiences.” he pointed out nonchalantly, as I shifted my gaze towards him with a frown. “After today...I...Think the same. I...Just...Wasn’t expecting something like this. What more can I say. I am disappointed. And if that wasn’t enough, my second boyfriend, who was a virgin, saw my own virginity as a prize. And the third pity-dated me. Can it get any worse? Because, if yes, I honestly give up.” I sighed, ruffling my hair, obviously done with life. “Life sure sucks, huh? And most people don’t make it any better. All we can do is get stronger, carry on, and fight our nightmares.” he nodded in agreement, clearly sympathetic. “...I see you’re speaking from experience. I wonder what happened to your eye...It may sound insensitive, but after what I just told you, I don’t think there’s any more need for caution.” I smirked at him with a dark sort of self-deprecation that I could also sense in him. “Well, y’know...Sometimes parents aren’t the safe haven they ought to be.” he shrugged, extinguishing the finished cigarette on the stairs. “I see. Yeah, life sucks. I guess I can see why you become a Gigolo. An attractive guy selling his body for money...By what they said, you are the most popular. I can see why. I feel sorry for you.” I gave him a sympathetic smile that disappeared as fast as it came. “You have a pretty smile, y’know? I always thought that people who can smile despite all they’ve been through are the strongest.” he commented, smiling back. “Is that why you appear to be so cheerful? You’re strong, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally too? Wish I was the same. Maybe people won’t find me such an easy target to take advantage of.” I snorted sarcastically, making him chuckle. “It’s a pity people are shit to the few remaining ones who don’t give in to society’s awfulness. But what is a sweet girl like you doing in a shithole like Ergastulum? Doesn’t quite add up.” he asked, getting in a better sitting position. “Life happened. Dad left us, and mum is abroad working to get me enough money to go to university by the end of this year. This place, despite how scary and dangerous it is, was the cheapest place I could afford.” I bit my lip, trying not to worry too much about the future. “I’m sure you’re gonna nail it, so don’t worry too much. You seem like a smart girl, so just study hard and don’t forget to enjoy life. By your standards, not others’.” he smirked, tilting his head towards the door. “You’re funny, Worick. I wish we met under different circumstances.” my voice became lower, only to get interrupted by the door slamming open and the girls leaving the place. “Well, look at you two, lovebirds! You look so cuuuuuuuute! Hey, Gigolo, better take good care of her, got it?! The night is still young for you two! Awesome birthday party, as usual, Y/N, see ya next time!” the girls left, making me blush from embarassment, looking away. “You’ve got very sensible friends.” he muttered ironically, shaking his head. “I’ll...Go tidy the apartment. Maybe I’ll be able to focus on something else. Come one, I’ll warm up some pizza.” I shrugged, getting inside the house. “I didn’t think you’d want me around in your home.” Worick pointed out, leaning on a wall. “You got paid to spend the night with me, correct? Then you’ll do what you got paid for. Keeping me company. You have no idea how refreshing it is talking to someone with some fucking brain in their head.” I plopped down on the couch, putting my feet on the table, turning on the TV to a rock music program and patting the seat next to me for him to join. “It’s an honour to spend time with you.” he chuckled, taking a slice of pizza, leaning back on the couch and mimicking my position.
For the rest of the night, he was gracious enough to help me tidy up and clean everything, and when we were finally done, I went to change in my nightgown, taking a book and getting in bed, only to see the man leaning on the frame of the door awkwardly.
“Ah, yes, how could I forget. Let me find some larger clothes for you to change into.” I put the book down, going to the wardrobe and finding some oversized clothes in which I sometimes sleep. “Are these yours?” he chuckled in amusement. “Yep.Gotta be comfy when you sleep, right?” I shrugged, getting back in bed. “Yeah, you’re right. That’s why I sleep naked.” his grin grew wider, making me frown in confusion. “Sleeping naked is comfy for you?” I put the book on my lap, looking at him for an answer. “Did you try?” he asked smugly. “Yeah. I felt incredibly uncomfortable and anxious the for hours and couldn’t sleep. At 4 AM I couldn’t stand it any longer and I put a nightgown on.” I scratched my cheek, looking away. “That’s adorable. What were you reading?” he asked, getting closer to me. “Get changed and you can come over. I’m not letting you sleep on the couch. You got paid, you deserve better.” I waved my hand at him dismissively, only for him to leave the room, get changed, take the book from my hand, flip through all the pages, and return it. “Ah, Picture of Dorian Gray. I’ve been wanting to read it for a while, thanks for the opportunity, I have to say, I rather appreciate his monologues.” he gave me a shit-eating grin, plopping in bed next to me. “I...You...Huh?! You can’t tell me you just read THIS book, right now, for the first time in your life, by just flipping rapidly through the pages!” my expression was that of pure shock and disbelief, which clearly amused him. “That’s exactly what I’m saying, sweet cheeks.” he smirked, laying his head down on the pillow. “You...You have an extraordinary visual memory?!” I asked in a voice that I wasn’t sure was heard. “You’ve got that right, darling.” he chuckled with a satisfied smile. “...WHY THE HELL ARE YOU A PROSTITUTE?! YOU ARE A GENIUS! YOU COULD DO SO MUCH MORE WITH YOUR LIFE! EARN AN UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MONEY! DO YOU HAVE NO AMBITION AND SAFE-LOVE?!” I grab him by the shoulders, shaking him, until he stopped me. “Calm doooown, Y/N, calm down. Thanks for looking out for me, but life is life. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got all I need here. You, however, have the whole life ahead of you, so don’t waste it like I did.” he advised in a soft voice, making me look at him for a few seconds, before sighing, getting up, and picking another book. “We won’t be seeing each other again, will we? Well, if that’s the case, take this. It’s a thanks for being nice to me today...But promise me you will take your time reading it, unlike now. Rest, relax, drink a hot cup of tea, and read each page carefully. Enjoy it, live it, feel it. Can you promise me that?” I asked, handing him the book. “The Hobbit, huh? Pretty cover, intriguing summary on the back...Fine, Y/N. I can’t 100% promise you, but I will try. Are you really willing to part with this one? It seems special for you.” he asked, more serious this time. “...Maybe sometimes the stupid ideas that your heart gives you are better than the rational ones from your brain. Now go sleep, I want to read.” I looked away from him, opening my book and pretending to read, away from him.
Five minutes passed, then ten, and fifteen, all of them in a deadly silence, almost awkward, until a chuckle split the atmosphere, making me turn around, looking at the man with a confused look.
“Usually, when people read, they turn the page after five minutes. What’s on your mind?” he asked, taking a strand of my hair and loosely twirling it with his finger. “..Well...You’re a stranger. And...We’ve only talked for a few hours. I know it makes no sense to ask this of you, but...I won’t be seeing you tomorrow anyway, so...Uhm...Do you think...I'm...Cold and mean...And unapproachable?” I mutter, looking away from him. “Not at all. I find you very endearing. The quiet ones are always the ones who have the best surprises once you get to know them. People deal with problems differently, it just takes the right person to want to understand you.” he kissed the strand of hair, making me bite my lip and turn off the lap light so my possibly pink cheeks won’t be noticeable. “Great. Thanks for the info. Now...How about you earn the money you got paid? You can do that by holding me and playing with my hair until I fall asleep.” I try to keep my voice from wavering. “You don’t have to put that pretext as a front, I would do that even if I wasn’t paid.” he chuckled lightly, holding me close to his chest, his fingers masterfully soothing my senses as he caressed by hair. “...Thanks.” I muttered, hiding my flustered face in his chest. “I have insomnia and general sleeping problems, including sleep paralysis and nightmares...And the only thing that used to be able to put me to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night would be mum holding me and playing with my hair until I fell asleep.” I confessed, my voice becoming softer and more emotional. “Thank you for trusting me with this precious memory, Y/N. It’s going to be okay. Now close your eyes...Sweet dreams, Y/N.” his peaceful, velvety voice was the last thing I heard before falling into a restful and calm sleep, for the first time in ages.
When morning came and I woke up, the bed was empty on the side that Worick was and I almost feared I imagined the whole thing...Until I noticed a piece of paper on the pillow where he slept.
“You’re a beautiful person, don’t let the darkness take over you. I hope to hear from you again, in the future, under better circumstances. ~ Worick”
To that, a phone number was written, and the first thing that came into my mind was to get that it tattooed on my body so I won’t lose it.  Of course, that will never happen, so I’ll settle for writing it everywhere I can.
For some reason, I wanted to make him proud, and I still had no idea why, so I only called him once a year, on my birthday, and on that day, we would chat on the phone all night, in memory of that night.  Finally leaving Ergastulum to go to University and get a better life for myself was something revolutionary for me, but after over 6 years, I managed to do just that. However, there was something that never left my brain, and that was the platinum haired man that completely changed the way I viewed life and how to approach it.
And I returned to Ergastulum after almost a decade.
I was dressed in a cute dress, and this time, unlike last time, a confident smile was on my face. Even though it’s fake, I adopted the “Fake it till you make it” motto, and nobody has to know about my problems.
I vibe.
Asking around for Worick, I find out he works as the Benriya with another man called Nicolas, who’s a tag, and even better, I got his address, so I knew just where to go.
As I entered the shabby apartment that was, for some reason, unlocked, I see a meek looking woman sitting on the couch, looking down.
“Did Worick get a girlfriend?” I leaned on the wall, a playful smirk on my face. “Wh-What?! G-Girlfriend?! W-Wait, who are you?!” she shot up to her feet, looking at me with big, blue doe eyes, frightened, might I say. “You’re adorable. What’s your name? And can I ask where Worick is? I’ve been told this is where he lives.” I played with a strand of my hair, trying not to intimidate the girl...Too much. “U-Uhm...He...He’s in his room...Who are you, miss?” she asked, trying to get some courage. “A friend, I’d like to think. From about ten years ago. Now, if you’ll excuse me...” I was ready to go look for him, only for a door to open, and the man in cause to appear, wearing only black boxers, and stretching...He obviously just woke up. “Ally? What’s all the noise?” he yawned loudly, rubbing his eyes. “Do you have a cute nickname for me too, Worick?” I smirked at him, as he widened his single eye, his jaw dropping in shock. “Y/N...?” he muttered my name, making me grin widely. “Glad you remember me. It has been quite a while since we’ve seen each other...And you age like fine wine, I’m telling you...You’re a sight for sore eyes.” he chuckled softly, only for him to come and pick me up, spinning a bit, before putting me down, cupping my face and kissing my forehead, leaving me a surprised and flustered mess. “And look at you! Can you get prettier than this? I told ya, you have a beautiful smile!” he grinned childishly, pinching my cheeks, making me yelp in pain and slap his hands away. “Jerk! That hurts! Ahem...Anyway, dear Gigolo, how are you? I heard some stuff about you working with someone named Nicolas...But I doubt her name is Nicolas.” I chuckled, pushing him softly away. “Oh, yes! Y/N, this is Alex, our new friend. You can say she’s kinda...Our secretary? I guess? Anyway, come over, we have a lot to catch up on!” he guided me to his bedroom that was, unsurprisingly, messy. “Wonderful and clean, just as expected. Have you ever thought of opening the window?” I teased him, plopping on his bed that was unexpectedly soft. “You, lazy little vixen...Here. I bought it years ago, after finishing the book you gave me, and I wanted to find out more. Now, I’m giving it to you. Are we even?” he smirked, handing me a copy of Fellowship of the Ring book. “We’d be even if I’d spend the night over as well. And if you gave me drinks and pizza. Basically a date. That will do.” I told him, looking dearly at the book I got gifted, although I already read it before. “My God, since when are you so bold?” he asked, getting on the bed, resting his chin on my knees, looking at me like a happy puppy. “Did you miss me, Worick? I hope you did, otherwise that little piece of paper you left would be incredibly disappointing and misleading.” I pointed out, booping his nose. “I’ve been thinking about you since then. By the looks of it, so did you. Are you sure you want a date with someone like me? You are beautiful, you are brilliant, your attitude in endearing as hell...And I’m still a Gigolo and my life is here, in Ergastulum. Don’t regret it later on.” he asked with a more serious tone, only for me to scoff and pull on his hair playfully. “I wouldn’t be here otherwise. Besides...Unlike you, I don’t need to be paid to spend quality time with you, doing nothing but chilling and chatting.” I teased him, making him laugh, as he plopped next to me, poking my cheek. “Great, problem solved! You’ve got yourself a parasite latching on you. Good luck getting rid of him now.” he grinned cheekily, only for me to cup his face and pull him into a kiss. “Why would I wanna get rid of a parasite this cute? Now shut up and hold me, it’s been ten years and I’m touch starved.” I grinned, nuzzling in the crook of his neck. “Damn, how I missed you.” he held me tightly to his chest, occasionally peppering my face with kisses.
It was definitely worth coming back to this God Forsaken place, even if it is for only one person. There’s place for everyone in this world, and in others’ hearts, and I found my place, in Worick’s warm arms, where I feel safest and most loved.
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autumn-foxfire · 2 years
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I think one of the reasons why Childe’s character has been so diminished by some fans is cause they want to like him (cause of his design or something else idk) but they don’t really like his actual character and whole backstory so they cherrypick the parts they like then fill up the rest with their own HCs so he fits their version of Childe. Also, about that Zhongli and Childe ask, I completely agree. I really hate it when they mischaracterize Zhongli as a manipulative asshole when their relationship is superficial at best. It’s time the shippers (or even non-shippers who believe in the narrative created by shippers) to stop looking at that scene with shipper-tinted glasses. Idk why they do it maybe cause the actual canon diminishes their ship? 🤷‍♀️
Hmmm, it's hard to say if people who do like to tweak his character don't like him as I've seen many people be very open about their distaste for him (their loss :p) but I do find it a little frustrating that quite a lot of content for him is too far removed from what I consider to be his canon character for me to enjoy personally.
Mostly I think it's because people like to both project and fill in the gaps for these characters. As Genshin is a game that's slowly being updated overtime, we don't really know all the ins and outs of these characters so it's understandable that fandom makes headcanons that will explore those gaps.
In regards to Zhongli and Childe, I wouldn't call their relationship superficial, in my opinion canon has shown us enough content that I can confidently call them friends. Zhongli's voiceline about Childe that they still go out for drinks even after their business with each other is over while Childe's shows that he's still interested in Zhongli by inquiring how he's doing (and wants to fight him but Childe would fight a toddler if they could beat his ass) shows that.
I feel like people just blow the reveal and subsequent "betrayal" out of proportion and ignore the context of Zhongli's actions just to focus on how Childe would feel about being lied to. I have no issue with people exploring Childe's feelings on the matter, I like doing so too, I just wish people could do so without completely condemning Zhongli and his actions while ignoring Childe's hypocritical actions if he were to be upset about Zhongli lying and using him as he did the same thing.
I love Zhongli/Childe so much! I just wish other shippers would be more objective about the situation.
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@gingerreggg think i oughta make an ao3 of this?
Heads Up- Part 13 (Joseph x Bust! Caesar)
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
"Morning, Jojo," Caesar said gently, planting a kiss on Joseph's forehead.
Joseph, still not opening his eyes, hummed faintly and gave a smile, hugging the base of Caesar's torso warmly.
"Hey...this is a nicer way to wake me up," he said with a laugh.
From the first days when Caesar sat on his bedside tabe screaming at him like some sort of glorified alarm clock, their morning routines had become far more gentle and affectionate as, bit by bit, Joseph's perception of Caesar changed.
It had been a rollercoaster of emotions since the bust first came screaming and bouncing his way into his life. From initial fear, to confusion, to fascination, to guilt, to understanding, to friendship to gentle affection.
They'd come a long way in just a few weeks being together.
Joseph stood up for breakfast, but before he left he gently lifted Caesar from his bed and gently laid him onto the floor where he was able to hop over to the kitchen. As much as Joseph wanted ro grant Caesar some independence, the fact remained that he was, after all, a living disembodied head with only the smallest piece of a torso, and no matter how much he tried there were some things he simply couldn't do.
It was a bit like having a roommate with special needs, and Joseph didn't mind giving him some assistance whenever he needed it-- though he was happy to let Caesar be when he was sure about things he could do on his own.
And Caesar was surprisingly adaptable, having lived with his unusual form for over a month now. His hopping on his neck was quite slow and clumsy as always, if now a lot more balanced, but the skill of his mouth manipulation had been astounding. Not only at painting and writing, but also in holding and using tools, operating the little lifts Joseph made to help him get up and down tables, or stacking the wooden blocks Suzi brought him into fun shapes and structures.
And, with persistent gnawing, licking and nose pressing, Caesar had learned how to, in his own awkward, bizarre way, figured out how to operate the remote of the TV, and spent quite a lot of his time bingeing soap operas, much to Joseph and Suzi's amusement.
"Morning, Suzi!" Joseph greeted, as he made his way to the kitchen. She'd woken up early and was stirring a cup of coffee, and she looked up and greeted the two in her usual cheery self.
"Morning Jojo!" she said with a smile. "Morning too, Caesar," she added, looking down at the hopping bust on the floor.
Her presence had been a near-constant in the past few days, though she did have a home a few blocks down the street. Joseph could tell she enjoyed staying with them, with the alternative having been mostly alone in her apartment with little to do now that she'd graduated.
Joseph could tell she was lonely. Especially since they previously hadn't spent much time together for a couple of years.
And now Caesar had brought them together.
Caesar hopped onto the platform and pulled at the rope with his teeth, lifting himself up onto the table. Suzi couldn't help but watch in awe-- it looked as if it took Caesar so much effort to move around, but he somehow just managed.
"It's honestly quite funny how you came to just accept all this," Caesar joked as he hopped onto the kitchen table. "You'd think that you'd take much longer to get used to me, a talking head of clay."
"Well, at first it was odd," Suzi replied.
Caesar laughed, remembering their first encounter. "You kept trying to grab me and touch me all over the first time we met."
"Well...you're just amazing," she told him.
"And getting to know you more? You're a really good person deep down," she added. "Sure, a little rough around the edges at times, maybe, but your determination, your personality, your warmth... you've added so much to me and Joseph's lives since you came."
Caesar smiled, a shy, flustered smile that would have had come with a blush if he hadn't been clay.
"Plus the way you get around is rather cute," she giggled. "You remind me of the lamp from those Pixar intros."
"Oh, don't you think I didn't get that," Caesar retorted playfully.
Joseph, in the meantime, had been making breakfast, mostly just coffee, canned beans, a boiled egg and some toast. Whipping up his meal the best as he could, him being in no way a talented chef, he piled the ingredients onto his plate and sat down onto the kitchen table.
Caesar looked wistfully at the plate. "If only I could enjoy that too." he said with a dry laugh.
Made of clay, Caesar never felt the need to eat, or drink, or even breathe. He wasn't quite sure what even sustained him every time he woke up in the morning.
At this point, it was easier to just say "magic".
"Alright, here you go," Joseph grinned. He dipped his finger into the sauce of the baked beans and held it out for Caesar to taste.
He stuck out his tongue and gently touched Joseph's finger with its tip.
"Hmmm...not bad," he said. He could taste and smell, despite not needing to eat or breathe, and exactly why, or how, was a question Caesar opted not to bother himself with.
Joseph smiled. Just the knowledge that Caesar was able to enjoy the little things in life brought him a sense of satisfied joy. Sure, there were some things that he was missing out on due to his nature as a living clay bust, but what mattered were the things that could make his dull existence just a bit brighter.
There were things he couldn't change, and realities he had to accept, but he knew Caesar could make do with whatever he did have.
Sometimes it was just better to submit to the winds than fight it, Joseph thought.
Submit.
That one word suddenly struck Joseph like a freight train.
--------
"Oh no," Joseph mumbled to himself in realisation.
Both Caesar and Suzi suddenly looked concerned at the abrupt change in Joseph's demeanor.
"What's the matter, Jojo?" Caesar asked.
"What date is it?" Joseph asked, tapping his hand lightly, anxiously, on the kitchen countertop.
Suzi checked her phone. "March 24, why?"
Joseph scratched his head in frustration. "My finals project! It's...it's due in two weeks!" He knew he had to pass his work, otherwise he wouldn't graduate his final year.
He'd completely forgotten, so engrossed he was with his strange new life with Caesar, and his long-due reunion with his old friend Suzi.
He'd fallen into a little fantasy and reality suddenly burst his colorful little bubble of joy.
Joseph's heart sank in realization. His finals project was Caesar.
Except he couldn't bear to think of him as such anymore. In their time together Caesar had become much more than an artistic masterpiece. He had become a person. He was alive. He was a companion, a partner, a friend.
Joseph loved him.
"I...I need to come up with something to submit to the gallery if I expect to make it to the end of the semester," Joseph said wearily, scratching his head in exasperation.
Suzi's usual cheer suddenly faded and was replaced with unease.
"Jojo..." she said, her voice heavy with concern. "Isn't...your project..."
Joseph sighed. "Yes. I know."
Caesar knew right away what Joseph had been talking about.
He felt an immense sadness at the realization that his very existence was a roadblock to Joseph achieving his dream.
"But...but how could I?" Joseph continued. "He's not just a project anymore, Suzi. He's a person."
Joseph shuddered at the thought of the fate that awaited Caesar, to be put on display in a glass case at the gallery. And what if they found out he was alive? What would they do to him?
"Perhaps you could still make a new project in the meantime?" Suzi asked.
"We don't have time," Joseph said. "It took me months to make Caesar to his perfection, what could I do in two weeks? What would they think if someone as reputed and talented as me passed a half-assed artwork as my final masterpiece?"
"I understand," Suzi sighed.
This was a dilemma that weighed heavily on Joseph's heart. On one hand, he had dreamed of being renowned for his talent and skill in creating art. To earn his stern, distant mother's approval. To gain recognition for his passion that he had.
But on the other hand, it would mean giving up Caesar. The little unexpected miracle that had come into his life one day and made it all the more brighter. The friend he never knew he needed. He felt like to do such a thing would be tantamount to abandoning a friend.
Caesar could see the grief in Joseph's eyes.
"I can't do this," Joseph mourned. "I can't do this to you."
Caesar could see the pain and conflict in Joseph's face, and he hurt inside too. He just wanted Joseph to be happy, and it crushed his figurative heart to see Joseph, the one single person he'd known all his brief life, in such a sorry state.
He wanted him to be happy. Whatever it takes.
A determined expression crept onto Caesar's face.
"I'll do it." he said defiantly.
Joseph and Suzi's eyes widened in shock.
"Caesar, no..." was all Suzi could say.
"But I must," Caesar insisted. "It's what you made me for, right, Jojo? This...this is why I exist. To display your talent and help you achieve your dream."
"This is my purpose," Caesar concluded.
"But why?" Joseph pleaded, looking into the eyes of his precious creation. "Why are you doing this? What about you?"
"I'll be fine," Caesar reassured. "I'm good at freezing up when people are around. They wouldn't even know."
Joseph looked upset at the thought of Caesar spending the rest of his existence in a gallery. He deserved a life.
"Jojo, I owe you everything," Caesar insisted. "You've made me live, even if it wasn't your intention. You've given me the best life you could in spite of what I am. The very fact you saw me as a person, who deserved existence as much as you, when I first awoke...for that I am ever grateful," he said. "And this is the best way I can pay you back for all you've done for me."
"Because..." Caesar hesitated.
He didn't seem sure how to say it.
"Because..."
He closed his eyes and gave a sigh.
"...because I love you, Jojo."
Was it strange that a creation had feelings for his creator? Or for a creator to feel the same?
For the same feeling had been welling up in Joseph's heart, and Caesar declaring his feelings first was like opening the floodgates of Joseph's emotions.
"Caesar..." he said, tears building up in his eyes as he gazed back into Caesar's eyes, past the polished, clay pupils and into the beautiful soul that resided within.
"I love you too," he said.
Caesar felt a warmth like never before in hearing Joseph's declaration. His brilliant blue eyes were so sincere, so full of affection, and Caesar was steadfast to do anything for him, as much as he possibly could, no matter what lay ahead.
Despite his lingering anxiety at his uncertain fate.
"So, what now?" Suzi asked, interrupting the tender moment. "How do we do this?"
Joseph, encouraged by Caesar's declaration, and his refusal to let Caesar make such a tremendous sacrifice, did what he did best.
He began to think of a plan.
"Caesar, how long can you freeze up like a statue?" he asked.
"I am a statue," Caesar replied.
"No, no, like a regular, non-living statue?" Joseph specified.
"I mean, I don't have muscles to ache or need to blink, so I guess a long time?" Caesar explained. "I've never tried how long."
"I won't let them make you have to do it forever," Joseph promised. "But I have an idea."
"Hmmm?" Caesar and Suzi hummed in unison, their interest piqued.
"There's a two-day ceremony where the judges grade the artworks," Joseph explained. "I just gotta get Caesar in there, get him graded, and take him home. He'll be up on display for two days, and then I can take him back. Hopefully, assuming he doesn't get selected for permanent exhibit..."
"All you have to do is try not to move. Can you do that for me?" Joseph asked him.
"I'll try my best," Caesar answered, now with a hint of uncertainty, as he slowly realized what he'd have to do.
"Come on, Caesar," Suzi added, realizing how Joseph's plan would unfold. "People will get to see you. They'll see how beautiful you are. Wouldn't you like that?"
"But I've never been around people before!" Caesar answered, suddenly not so sure about his decision but still determined to help Joseph.
"What if I moved and gave up our whole secret?"
"Well then," Joseph said, as he resumed trying to finish his breakfast.
"I suppose we ought to start practicing."
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(Previous Chapter)
(Next Chapter)
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softbluefanfiction · 4 years
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Truce
When I first started writing this fic, I accidentally deleted the first 2000 words and had to restart, that wasn't very nice, but I pulled through and really I hope you enjoy!
The insults. The accusations. Constantly having to defend himself. Having to play nice. It was all getting to be too much for Janus, but he had no choice but to handle it. He needed to take it in order to help Thomas, and eventually it would stop. Until then though...
"Your slippery sarcasm scale is why we are in this mess in the first place!" Roman yelled, pointing an accusing finger.
"Yeah, for real, Thomas" Virgil spat, "how can you still not see him for what he is?"
"And what would that be, dear Anxiety?" His stomach twisted as he spoke; it was tough to fight with him on a good day, but Virgil had also declared that he wasn't going to use Janus's name and that Janus wasn't allowed to use his. The only reason he agreed was to stop a fight, but in hindsight, it seemed to have not caused any release of tension from the group.
"A monster-"
"Woah! That's a bit strong, don't you think, Verg? Maybe we can take a second-" Thomas tried.
"No, it's not!" Virgil snapped. "he's been lying and deceiving us from the start, and now his advice has cost us a friendship!"
A few weeks ago, Thomas had come to them with a moral dilemma about two acting jobs. One was for a friend's production and would have meant a great deal to said friend if Thomas had taken the part. The other was a more prestigious role that Thomas has been working towards for a long while, alongside that Thomas didn't have much experience with the genre and really wanted to test himself; it also paid more. Janus had gone for the obvious choice with Logan on his side. He then won over Patton; given that other people were lined up to audition, his friend wouldn't have been shorthanded. He knew Roman secretly wanted to do the more challenging thing. It was easy after that.
"I hardly believe that that is a reasonable conclusion, Virgil." Logan slid in next to Janus, much to the latter's relief. A small genuine smile came across his face as Logan began to defend him. It always took him by such surprise; he never thought he'd be on speaking terms with the other after what he did, impersonating him. Now they had begun to quite enjoy each other's company and Logan defended him, often without hesitation: "when was it you said this play was, Thomas?"
"Uh, I went to it last week, but it ran the rest of the week too."
"And when and how frequently have you contacted this person?"
"Once that night and a couple of times today, but he still hasn't responded. He was also weird after the play, I mean we barely spoke!"
"Hence the 'issue' at hand," Janus said with air quotes and Roman positively fumed.
"Wipe that smile off your face, you deceitful dick!" He snapped and everyone in the room seemed as taken aback as Janus was.
"Running out of insults, are we, Roman?" He sneered.
"No, you...you... snake!" he shouted, still pointing an accusatory finger.
Both he and Logan rolled their eyes as Logan continued. "So, based on the fact that you have texted them during and after a busy week and they have not responded as well as being distant during a very busy production, you are concluding that they no longer wish to be your companion? Thomas, you must see that that is a bit of an extreme conclusion?"
Thomas and Vigil took a deep breath together. "Yeah, I'm sorry Logan, you're right. I should wait a minute before ringing the alarm bell."
"The figurative one I assume; although that might be an interesting way to improve the safety of your home, it would be unnecessary as the fire alarms are already operating."
"That doesn't change anything, they could be-" before Virgil could continue, Thomas's phone buzzed.
"Oh, who could that be?" Janus asked.
Thomas spoke sheepishly, looking apologetically at Janus and Logan. "It's them, they're sorry that they haven't been able to talk much and wanna go out to lunch some time."
"Well, then," Logan said with a self satisfied sigh, "if that is all I'll bid you a good night, and Thomas, remember to check your calendar before making plans."
"Okay, Logan, thank you!" Thomas rubbed the back of his neck as Logan sunk out.
"Hmmm, would you look at that, despite my villainous influences on Thomas's decision making everything turned out fine! How could this possibly be?" Janus gasped with mock shock, bringing a gloved hand to his mouth.
"This doesn't change anything, you're still-"
"Virgil," Thomas voice was a bit raised but he took a deep breath and softened, "Virgil, its okay."
The anxious side struggled for a moment, seeming to have more to say, but then simply huffed and sunk out with Roman ready to take his place in the fight.
Before that argument could move any further he held up a hand, and looked at his host. "I will see you later Thomas, don't hesitate to call if you need me." He sunk out with a calm smile from Thomas and fuming rage from Roman.
After he was back in the mindscape's living room, his shoulders slumped and his face fell before he realized that he was not alone and put on his mask once more. Every cell in his body fought against not being able to just relax, but he pushed those feelings away, making his way into the kitchen.
He was no longer going to stay in the room, but was still going to take a bottle of wine up to his bedroom. He felt like he deserved a little help to unwind.
Virgil spoke up as he looped back from the kitchen to make his way up the stairs: "I know what you're doing!" He growled.
"Do you now?" Janus huffed, he'd had too much today already and mostly responded on instinct. He hoped Virgil would just drop it so he could get onto staying in his room the rest of the night.
"I do, and I'm not going to let you hurt him!"
Janus let out an exasperated sigh and spun around at the top of the staircase. "Do you ever think I've tried so hard to get to Thomas because I care for him and want to help him?!" He meant to be snide in order to get Virgil to understand while not being vulnerable, but his voice failed him at the end, cracking.
That gave Virgil pause but he strode on. "It doesn't matter what you think you're doing. You're deceit and all you are going to do is hurt Thomas."
Janus just huffed and walked away, face turning red at his outburst. He had avoided reacting out of pure feeling since his low blow with Roman, but it seemed like they knew just how to get on his nerves and wanted him to fail so badly. He wouldn't have been surprised if that was a genuine scheme of theirs, to hit him where it hurts until he finally shows his true colors or whatever. They'd done worse.
Hot tears burned at the back of his eyes but he swallowed them down. He would not cry because of them. They would not hurt him, he was better than that and if it meant he could have Thomas's attention then they didn't matter.
But this was getting to be exhausting. The punches were coming just as hard as before and seemed to hurt worse and worse. Virgil's always stung, but the attacks were getting more and more personal. Roman was nothing compared to that, but the last few weeks every time it seemed that they were getting somewhere he'd redouble his efforts at getting under Janus' skin.
They were also in cahoots to not let him be alone with Thomas, and for a while, Patton. He actually began to get a stomach ache every time he went to go visit either, even starting to avoid them entirely before they both realized what was up and told the other two off. They could still interrupt if they found a good enough reason and used it as an excuse, which left Janus with much apprehension.
Their efforts also left him with conclusions that he was barely allowing to cross his mind, but he felt them pushing against the edges, threatening to burst out. About how Virgil and Roman are a part of Thomas and what their sentiment means about what Thomas thinks of him.
He shook himself out of his reverie and poured a glass of wine, sitting on his bed to sip at it.
His suit felt itchy and he knew he probably needed a shower. Last week he shed and that was just delightful, as always. He was more than grumpy and expected it to ruin all he had worked for but everyone was actually exceptional about the whole situation. Even Roman. It was another time he thought he might've gotten through to him but absolutely didn't. Either way, he was onto the last of it and one more good soak would do him some good.
He felt like a 60's housewife drinking wine in the bath but usually it could fix almost any issue so he wasn't willing to give it up. This time, he felt himself relax a bit, but instead of his worries washing away he felt them pressing down on him still, as if held at arm's length but ready to pounce at any moment; but in all honesty, it could just be the wine relaxing him.
He got done with a few glasses before he heard a knock on the door. "One second." Janus jumped out of the tub and carefully dried himself off and, for force of habit, assumed Remus would be behind the door, simply wrapping a towel around himself to answer it.
Which is how he caused one Patton Sanders to let out a rather loud "Oh, my!" when he opened the door, turning a shade of red that Janus did not think possible.
"Oh, my...um," Janus echoed, closing the door to cover most of himself peeking his head out. "You'll have to excuse me Patton, I had assumed you were Remus, did you need something?"
Patton was decidedly looking everywhere besides Janus, eyes curiously flitting back to his bare chest every few glances, but he really was doing his best to not look, it made Janus smile and giggle drunkenly, "You can look at me, it's fine."
They had been tipsy together before and Patton had admitted he was mad at Roman and Virgil's behavior and when that topic shifted away, feeling like he should offer something as well, he had admitted that his scales often made him feel foreign and out of place. Patton said he thought they were pretty and Janus couldn't believe that was true, and said as much. That's probably not what the moral side was currently thinking of at that moment, he belatedly realized, but didn't much care.
Patton swallowed and leveled his eyes on his counterpart's face, every few words his eyes would stray for a few moments but snap back up after realizing what had occurred. "Right, um, I just wanted to invite you to movie night at 9, um, and Thomas will be there too!"
And Roman and Virgil. "Don't wait up for me," He said after a minute of thought, he would think about though "sorry, Patton."
"No, no, it's okay!" He could tell it wasn't, but couldn't think of what to say so they just sat there awkwardly for a moment.
"Hey, daddy!" Remus saved them. "if you two wanna fuck I can leave." He laughed as Patton sputtered, walking up to them and placing a hand on each of their shoulders.
"Remus, please, you'll break him," Janus rubbed his face to stop his own laugh, keeping his tone exasperated "my apologies again Patton, have a good night!"
"Yeah, um, see you at the movie Remus" He whispered, running off as fast as possible.
"You're invited?" Janus asked, shocked. He didn't know that any of the others tolerated him, including Thomas, just that they accepted that they couldn't just ignore him.
"Oh, pfft, no!" Remus laughed, pushing into the room and shutting the door behind him, "I just showed up and nobodies told me to fuck off yet, so im still showing up!" Remus wrapped his arms around Janus' waist, leading him to the bed and leaning in for a kiss.
"It seems as though they have come to expect you!" Janus murmurs against Remus' lips. He allows the conversation to drift away when the other doesn't respond, pulling them both down over his bed. They curled up there, Remus laying on top of the other with his head nuzzled into his neck, the towel that Janus was wearing forgotten.
Their relationship had changed drastically in the last while since Virgil left. They had both come to find each other in the dark sides commons one night and opened up about missing Virgil. It was the first time either of them had been so open with the other and it was the start of a beautiful and weird thing between them. It started slowly with just hanging out all the time, but then one night Remus shakily reached over during an anime he was watching and grabbed Janus' hand. It was all fast after that, and a supposed silver lining to Virgil's absence.
"You still..." Remus mumbled, brushing down Janus' arm slowly "have some.." he picked up the snake-like side's appendage. "Janus shreds to remove," and started to slowly take off the rest of his shed. Janus just turns his head over, sighing at the satisfying feeling, content to fall asleep and deal with washing the sheets later.
"Alright, come on!" Janus lets out a whine as Remus pulls him up and takes him back to the bathroom. The other got undressed and Janus removed the water from the tub while the shower turned on, Remus quickly washed off and then walked back to Janus. "Let's get the rest of this off, hmm?"
Janus nodded and settled down on the side of the tub, it was an ornate one with golden legs on the four sides in the shape of snakes and white marble coloring on the rest. "Are you for real not going to movie night?" Janus sighed as Remus carefully took off the rest of his dead skin, if you tried to remove it too soon it burned and might even bleed, but now it was high past time and felt like bliss.
"Although I would just love to be berated all night long, I think I will be content enough to read the night away." Janus felt a little disappointed at the thought, but even Patton was starting to irritate him. He was treating the deceitful side like a hurt puppy rather than confronting the others. He knew that it wouldn't help, but a little effort in the right direction wouldn't kill.
"Buzzkill...that's fair, and if that bottle was full before it got to your room you're also shitfaced." He laughed, picking up the almost empty container and chugging the rest.
The other just nodded. There was certainty a blur around the edges of his mind growing stronger, and he leaned into Remus' touch as he massaged his shoulders far after his shed was gone the rest of the way. "I think I would just like to go to bed, okay?"
"Do you know people spend ⅓ of their life asleep, meaning that people waste 229'961 hours of their life so they can hallucinate while drooling?"
"Logan has been a bad influence on you," Janus mumbles as they both dry off and make it back to Janus' room. "You should still go, if you want."
Remus in response snuggled under the covers with Janus and closed his eyes, shrugging. "I'm good here, boo, at least until you fall asleep."
"Thank you," the yellow side grumbles, it does take awhile for him to actually rest, but Remus pulled out some sort of book Janus knew better than to look at, and seemed content enough to stay.
---
Janus woke up from a nightmare with a scream and immediately fell into a panic attack. He tried to get the air past his lungs and tore through his hair, his face and arms heavy and numb to him.
Remus was around him a moment later, hugging his shoulders and badly guiding him through a breathing exercise. It took a few minutes but he got back down to where he could speak.
"What if I'm bad for Thomas?" He whispered, hands falling into his lap, he swallowed and almost started to wonder if Remus had heard him. A mantra of monster, monster, monster, monster  was cycling through his head, leftover fragments of the cacophony in his dream that was already becoming hard to remember.
"What? " Remus sounded furious, his voice a low growl and Janus folded in on himself, closing his eyes, arms going around his chest.
"Virgil said...I just...no one ever thinks that they're the bad guy, I was happy to play the part if it meant I could get Thomas to see...but what if I wasn't...?" His voice wavered, he knew he was going to regret telling Remus who exactly caused this particular episode, but maybe he deserved it after all the crap he'd been pulling.
"This has to stop!" Remus spat, voice still low. Another aspect that is opposite from Roman, when Remus gets angry it's a cold, quiet fury  "when are you going get your head out of your ass, Janny? My fuckass brother gets butthurt once and you're just going to let everything slide by from now on?"
"It's not like that, I don't want anything getting in between me and Thomas or hurting him and that situation has clearly has done both, things will smooth over-"
"Will they really stop though," Remus softened. "You have proved yourself already and Thomas has even told them to chill and they are not any closer to being done with their crap!"
They both stayed quiet for awhile after that..."you're right, something has to budge, im sorry".
"You shouldnt be apologizing to me, i'm not mad at you... i'm gonna go get you some of those sleepy bears" Remus jumped off the bed and Janus didn't expect him back for awhile. At least he put pants on.
Laying back down he realized he had only slept for about two hours, and movie night was on downstairs. He burrowed down with a groan, they had to have heard him scream. He begged the universe that Remus would just go and get the melanin gummies from the kitchen and that would be the end of it.
Of course that wasn't the end of it, but at least Janus wasn't aware for a while.
---
Remus was absolutely fuming when he left the room, intending to break down Virgil's door if it killed him, but when he heard a movie going on downstairs he figured that would work too.
The movie was immediately paused as Remus thundered down the steps. He realized just now that the others probably haven't seen him this truly angry, or even this serious, and Thomas was in the room. That almost changed his mind about whatever he was gonna do when he got to Virgil, but decided that Thomas might need to be privy to the conversation.
"You" He growled, pointing at Virgil who snapped his head up at him from his usual spot. Roman tried to get in the way but Remus summoned some weird handcuff thing and threw it in his direction. It latched onto both his hands and then flew to the wall behind him, connecting to it. It then pulled him back and away. He jumped up on the couch and pulled Virgil up by his hoodie, pushing him against the wall.
"What the-" Virgil started, but Remus shook him.
"You need to put your ducklings in a row before I kill em all!" Remus noted the fear in his eyes and how tight he was holding the other, and loosened his grip.
"What are you talking about?" Virgil said, not moving. Remus was sure he would know why he was here now that it was brought to his attention. Virgil always knew when there was a spike in anxiety somewhere in the mindscape and that much from Janus would have crossed the radar.
"You know damn well what, you pitch black nightmare!" Remus spat, "Do you honestly think that Thomas is better without Janus?"
That stopped him short, and over his shoulder Remus could see everyone's head snap from him to Virgil. "...I didn't say that''
"Well you said something that has him convinced him he's no good for Thomas!"
"He isn't," Virgil insisted, looking like he regretted the words immediately.
"Do you really believe that or are you hiding from the fact that you were wrong and are being an asshole's asshole about it?" That shut him up quick and Remus let him go and walked over to Roman who was as quiet as everyone else was, "Parties over you can go back to your movie". The anger had fizzled when he saw how scared Virgil was, and he had already told Roman off several times. Thomas would most likely have a few words with them, so that would have to be enough. He produced a key and unlocked his twin, with a click the cuffs and key disappeared.
There were a few scattered murmurs from the living room as Remus grabbed a few gummies and ate them, grabbing an extra and heading upstairs with it.
"Hey..." It was Thomas that spoke up, and in a quiet tone that gave Remus pause half-way up, "is everything alright, I mean... what happened?"
Remus opened his mouth to tell him, but closed it again when Logan shifted. "Ask him yourself". Thomas nodded, clearly a bit disappointed with the answer and Remus went to leave.
"He had a panic attack," Virgil mumbled, looking down at his feet numbly.
The others in the room looked mostly shocked but Thomas looked aghast. Before he could say anything else Remus huffed in disgust and walked away to go take care of Janus.
---
Janus stayed in his room most of the next few days, his panic attack was more than enough to tell him he needed a break, so unless directly called upon he would spend some time doing just that. He did leave a couple of times early in the morning to help Patton with breakfast and chat with Logan, but for a much shorter time and left quickly if anyone other than Remus showed face. Everyone was acting a bit strangely but Janus refused to put much thought into it. They all had nightmares, so hearing him yell yesterday shouldn't be something they are able to hold over his head.
He'd also scheduled an early meeting with Dr. Pacini, and he assured Janus that he was handling the situation very well. Taking a step back and avoiding anything that could be triggering for a short time could do some good, although he did ask Janus to lower his alcohol consumption to at least every other day and not fully isolate himself.
He also asked that Janus talk to Thomas about his worries, but was immediately shot down in the meeting. Now that it was in his mind though, Janus felt himself slowly lose the will to not do just that. He would have to explain why he had been absent recently and had made it a point to stop lying to Thomas.
Perhaps he would just explain certain things to his host, that he had wanted to relax a little and that was why he was distant the last few days. Something to sooth the others likely worries and it would be nice to see Thomas, as his company was rather nice.
That's what he told himself as he appeared in Thomas' room late one night, only to find the other on his laptop entranced by Netflix and unaware of his presence.
Janus smiled lightly, happy to see the other enjoying himself, although with the late hour Logan was sure to have a fit. Instead of interrupting he simply started to move about the room, he probably should have gone to bed himself, but a little tidying wouldn't hurt.
He was able to check if Thomas' house plant needed watering, fold some shirts on the floor and straighten up the chair in the corner before he was noticed.
"Oh, hey Janus" Thomas smiled and closed the laptop when he saw the other, "sorry I didn't see you there, um, what are you doing?"
"It's no bother Thomas, it's not like I've taken time out of my very busy schedule of doing nothing to come and check on you at a ridiculous hour only to have you pay me no mind while I clean your room" He waved his hand dismissively and sat next to Thomas, who let out a soft laugh.
"Yeah, I actually wanted to check on you, I haven't seen you in the past few days and figured you might want some space but I was getting worried"
"Whatever would you need to be worried about?" Janus tried, icy trepidation making its way up his spine, "I'm doing well".
Thomas paused, looking a bit guilty "look, Jan, I know that you had a panic attack and you don't have to talk about it now but i'd like to maybe figure out why so I can help"
Janus paused, ready to deny and avoid but Thomas gave him that 'im Thomas and too wholesome and caring for this world look' and he signed quietly to himself, now at a loss for words. He felt panic brewing at being so exposed and a slight anger at himself for letting Thomas worry about him.
"You really don't have to talk about it, I swear, and i'm worried but I know you can take care of yourself and..." Thomas filled the prolonged silence with rushed and nervous words that Janus wanted to interrupt but his mouth just wasn't working.
He could say many things. Something to soften the blow, a half-truth that Thomas wouldn't fall for but would allow given the circumstances. He could lie, say that whatever Remus said was just to throw Thomas off, but Thomas had not mentioned Remus and if Janus did then that would be an easy hole to poke through. He could tell Thomas he wasn't ready to discuss it and be left feeling awkward and guilty, because while that isn't necessarily a lie, he would still be keeping secrets from Thomas.
All of these thoughts swirled through Janus's head as Thomas's rambling became muffled and his breath came in shorter gasps.
"Do you think i'm evil?" It was the first thing on Janus' tongue and the last thing he actually wanted to open up to Thomas about. He didn't know if he would be able to take the answer being yes, but a lie to try and comfort him would tear him to pieces.
After a long silence Thomas finally spoke,"What?". His voice was gentle but alarmed, meant to brush away Janus' worries.
The deceptive side tried to respond but he stopped and took a shaky breath, grounding himself. "It has been on my mind for awhile, I know it is unreasonable to ask you to answer that, I just...its tough being insulted by people you (that Thomas cares) care about and I am concerned as to how their opinions are affecting your own"
"Janus, it's not unreasonable to voice your concerns, and... I can't say with certainty that I don't view you as at least a little bad, but i'm working on unlearning that type of thinking and Virgil and Roman aren't going to make me change my mind on that, okay?"
Janus' body relaxed from the tension he didn't know he was holding and he sighed, leaning heavily on his hands. That was somehow the perfect response and Janus felt some sort of weight leave him. "Woah, hey, its okay", Thomas scrambled forwards to sit next to where Janus was, rubbing circles on his back, "Did I say something wrong?"
Janus shook his head, confused as to what the other meant, until he realized he was shaking and had started crying. Shame and fear rose past his relief, but Thomas had wrapped his arm around the others shoulder and Janus couldn't stop himself from accepting the comfort.
He leaned into Thomas' hug, putting his face onto the others shoulder as he let out the first real sob he'd let happen in months. Thomas, ever patient, simply whispered soothing words and rubbed circles on his back.
It took several minutes for Janus to calm down, but once he did he remained in Thomas' grasp for a while longer. "I didn't mean..." Janus started to pull back not sure what he was going to say and looked down at Thomas' shirt, wet with tears, "to ruin your shirt" he finished lamely.
Thomas just frowned and shook his head, worry creasing his brow. Janus sighed and looked away, rubbing his forehead. Thomas had never seen Janus like this, sure he was less guarded around his host but he still wasn't sure what to tell Thomas now that he had all of a sudden broken down. "I feel...better now" was what eventually came out, along with a shaky laugh.
"That's good" Thomas smiled, patting him awkwardly on the back. "Are the others all busy, or, I mean, do you have someone to be with right now, I guess"
"No, Remus is in the imagination and I believe all others are resting, but I can assure you that I will take care of myself." He winked at the other "self-care and all that".
That earned him a laugh, "Right, yeah...you mean a lot to me Janus, okay, I really hope that I wasn't hurting you by not telling you that sooner"
"No, Thomas, I should have come to you sooner and it's really not as bad as it might seem, I am a professional at bottling up my emotions, as it were"
"Yeah, I guess that makes sense..." They sat in comfortable silence for awhile after that, taking a minute to let everything soak in, "If you wanna stay, I was watching the office?"
"That sounds abhorrent" Janus jibed, as he waved his hand and changed into his pajamas, sitting down next to Thomas as he started up the laptop again.
After a few episodes Janus felt his body get lighter and he fell asleep content and laughing with Thomas.
Thank you so much for reading everyone, I appreciated every like and comment and feel free to critique! I wish you well and goodnight!
AFTERWORD IS POSTED! I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO LINK IT IM SORRY!
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