Hufflepuff: Why is Slytherin crying?
Ravenclaw: They took one of those “Which hogwarts house are you” quizes
Hufflepuff: Who did they get?
Ravenclaw: Gryffindor.
Gryffindor: You’re supposed to bump my fist with yours.
Ravenclaw: …but why?
Muggleborn!Slytherin: I love it when you two impersonate muggles
Hufflepuff: I mean yes okay that wasn’t strictly legal, but it was just one time! Gryffindor is the one who usually gets us into trouble.
Gryffindor: Name one time
Ravenclaw: Flooding the common room with bubble bath mixture
Gryffindor: Name two times
Slytherin: The bee incident in the great hall that led to a dimensional rift.
Gryffindor: name three times
Ravenclaw: I have your antics listed both alphabetically and by severity. you DON’T want to start this discussion.
S/G: People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up the room.
Ravenclaw: It’s called arson and those people are called witnesses
Hufflepuff: You didn’t have a happy childhood?
Slytherin: my favorite toy was a knife. You finish the puzzle.
Slytherin: *cooking*
Gryffindor: *goes over and looks at what slytherin is cooking*
Slytherin: Don’t breathe.
…
Slytherin: ON THE FOOD! DON’T BREATHE ON THE FOOD!!
Gryffindor, in the hospital wing: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?
Vernon Dursley: There is magic in front of my house
Vernon: oh… My God
Vernon: THIS IS NOT YOUR LAND!
Vernon: GOOOOOOOOOO
Slytherin, annoyed: I think I’d make a good boyfriend.
Gryffindor, angry: You’d make a GREAT boyfriend!
Slytherin, angry: YEAH? WELL WHOEVER ENDS UP WITH YOU IS GOING TO BE DAMN LUCKY!!!!
Gryffindor: Yeah?!? Well, NOT AS LUCKY AS WHOEVER ENDS UP WITH YOU!!
Hufflepuff: What am I looking at?
Ravenclaw: They’re angry flirting again.
Slytherin: brb, birth giver calls for me
Ravenclaw: WAIT WHAT???
Slytherin: WHAT? WDYM??
Ravenclaw: BIRTH?? BIRTH OF WHO???
Slytherin: ME??????
Slytherin: BIRTH GIVER = MY MUM
Ravenclaw: WHAT?? YOU’RE NOT BORN YET???
Ravenclaw: oh..
Random Human : * makes eye contact *
Slytherin / Ravenclaw : the A U D A C I T Y .
Ravenclaw: sometimes you may find yourself at the bottom of a pit with life throwing bad things at you, but you can always use them to climp up, even if some are slippery.
Slytherin: sometimes you may find yourself at the bottom of a pit with life throwing bad things at you, but you can always throw them back at life.