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look-at-the-soul · 1 year

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Tell me again please

Holacia note: Mar!!! Congratulations on your follower celebration 🎉 I really wanted to write something sweet for you and I swear this was a cute idea when I first thought of the starting point, but then the characters started arguing with me and it ended this way 😬😭🤦‍♀️

Note from Mar: So my dear Cia (tumblr user holacia) was kind to participate in my followers celebration (including Cyril in this amazing story), and she also allowed me to post and share with you guys!!!! So this is NOT my story, I’m just posting it on her behalf and with her permission, all credits go to the incredible author and I will share your comments with her 💕

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Wordcount: ~1500

Warnings: fluffy at parts, sad and disappointing at other parts LOL // minimal editing because I wanted to get this out

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“Tell me again please! Tell me about my father,” the giggles from your little one making you smile as you walked towards the shops from your quiet home in Small Heath. You look down at the sweet girl holding your hand and roll your eyes dramatically at her as if her request was a burden…but sharing the soft memories of her absent father are the only way she gets to experience him so you start the fairytale once again.

“Well once upon a time, there was a young girl who loved the animals around her,” you give a gentle squeeze on her tiny hand as you nod your face towards a carriage horse with a smile. Your daughter makes a loud gasp, her eyes lighting up as pieces of the story began to come true around her.

“The girl did whatever she could to make the dogs and the cats and the horses in her town happy,” you continue.

“I do that too!” your little one exclaims with pride.

“Yes, I know you do baby,” you reply, your eyes scanning the scene of other families, workers, street cars and carriages. You lead your girl along the side of the road towards a small grassy area with a bench to watch the town’s traffic pass by.

“Anyway, this girl was walking back from school one day when she saw some boys doing something very wrong,'' you pause dramatically as you brush down the skirt of her dress after helping her onto the bench, “these boys were throwing rocks at a little street dog, yelling after this puppy and really scaring the poor creature.”

Your daughter’s eyes go wide with disbelief as if hearing this tale for the first time, the tiniest pout forming on her lips.

“But why would they do that mama?” the worry evident in her shaking voice.

“I don’t think those boys had learned to be kind yet, and so the girl marched right up to them and told them to stop hurting the dog.” You watch her eyebrows pinch together in agreement and nod her chin decisively up and down as you move along the story. “And just when those boys thought about being rude to the little girl, a taller boy from across the street joined her. This new boy told them to listen to her, that they’d be sorry if they kept bothering the street dog.”

You gaze from your place on the wooden bench to watch neighbors and strangers alike hurry along their way, carrying groceries, babies, and lunchpails to their next destination.

“As they checked to see that the pup was going to be alright, the girl and new boy quickly decided to be friends.”

“Mama, you are the little girl? And that boy is my father?” she asks you with a knowing smile.

You playfully scrunch your nose at her before kissing her cheek, “That’s right smart girl, that’s your daddy!” She giggles and claps her hands, delighted at the simple fairytale.

“What is daddy’s name?” she asks you, the way she always asks you after hearing how you and her father met.

You slowly brush a lock of hair behind her ear, your thumb tracing the side of her cheek as you give her the same answer, “I have a name but you call me Mama, right? So your Daddy has a name, but you don’t have to worry about it since you would just call him Daddy. Does that make sense baby?”

She nods her round face, eyes pointed down at her shoes.

Her quiet demeanor breaks your heart, wishing she would throw a tantrum at your vague answer for wanting to know more about her father. Instead, she begins to sing a song softly as memories of your past flood behind your eyes.

Flashes of enjoying meals at each other’s homes, walks around town when school was on break, and sneaking away to ride his family’s horses make you chuckle. Memories of turning to him after a big fight with your family, the day he and his brothers left for the war, the kiss you shared once he came back home make your eyes water.

You pull your daughter against your side and relish in the feeling of her leaning against you, the warmth passing between you both a stark contrast against a final memory you can’t help but torture yourself with once more.

The roaring black rain clouds almost hide the sob that escapes your lips, but you know that he heard you as he looks down on you in silence, your tears joining the raindrops down your face.

“Tell me again please! Tell me why you can’t be with me,” you shout, hands grasping at the front of his coat like a beggar. He whispers your name, the blue of his eyes icy and serious, as he wraps his hands over your wrists to pull you off of him. You stand there mouth agape as he holds your arms between you two, the force of his grasp the only warmth you register in your body as the storm rages on, drowning your clothing and skin in coldness.

You notice him swallow thickly, the walls he placed between you shaking at their false foundation for a brief moment, and you know he is lying to you. “Tommy,” you cry, “Tommy, why are you doing this to us?”

His eyes close as he offers you the closest thing to an apology he has, “Do I look like a man who wants a simple life?” You see the coldness return when he opens his eyes, and you know you’ve lost him.

The pull on your sleeve brings you back to the present, and you find your girl pointing along the path in the park towards a couple of figures - a man wearing a peaky cap walking with a great big dog.

“Mama! Please let me say hello to that dog,” your little one implores, her patience paper-thin as she pulls on your hand. You check your surroundings once more and squint back towards the stranger walking in the direction of you and your daughter.

“We can ask the dog’s owner if it’s alright for you to say hello,” your voice steady as she bounces in place. You take her hand and follow the park’s walkway, waving politely at the man before quickly reminding your girl about her manners.

The stranger’s pace slows for a moment before he marches along as before, his Mastiff matching his steps with a wagging tail at the sight of the small child ahead. You look forward again and see his face clearly for the first time and stop in your tracks, pulling your girl back towards you instinctively.

Tommy and his dog reach you, his eyes memorizing the two of you as you find your voice, “Hello there.”

“Hello to you both,” his voice soaking your ears like warm honey. He catches the smallest of the group staring at the hound intently, so he crouches down to her level and asks her if she would like to give Cyril a pet.

“Yes please!” she whoops, dropping your hand immediately to rush closer to the big dog.

“Tommy!” you cry right away, reaching for your little one.

“It’s alright love, she’s safe. Cyril’s nothing more than a teddy bear,” he says looking up to you, standing to his full height after watching the child and animal make it past their introductions.

You and Tommy stand to the side as the scene unfolds before you - another animal lover creating a new childhood memory with a gentle dog. You both watch for a few moments before you break the silence, your voice calmer than your traitorous heartbeat.

“I haven’t seen you around in a while.” You cross your arms across your chest, keeping your eyes on your daughter.

“Business took me to London for the last few weeks,” he mentions casually, yet you still detect a rare sense of weariness in him.

“We saw Ada the other week at the market,” you share, not knowing why you continued to parade like distant acquaintances with the man who broke your heart. “Little girl almost lost her mind when your sister gave her a flower to bring back home.”

Tommy turns sharply to face you, his feet moving him closer to you than what’s politely acceptable between strangers. Your head swivels towards him in return with a frown, your hands rubbing against your elbows at his proximity.

“Tell me again please,” he starts, “why can’t I be with you and our daughter?”

“Lower your voice Tommy,” you warn, checking back to see your girl still enthralled with her new playmate. Tommy reaches for your arm, the warmth of his hand heating your skin through the fabric of your clothes.

You take a step back and watch his arm hover at the loss of you before letting his arm fall back down to his side. He shakes his head, glancing at his child laugh at Cyril’s tricks before drawing his cigarette case from his pocket.

“I had nearly fucking everything,” he mutters with the cigarette between his lips.

“You did have everything Tommy,” you correct him, “and you threw it all away.”

*******

Cia’s notes: Soooo I apologize 😂 I am trying to think of AUs of this little family where they live happily ever after but part of my evil writer brain has also thought of all the stupid things Tommy has done to throw away his life with reader 😆😈

Mar notes: Cia firstly I want to thank you for participating once more! This was a beautiful road to memory lane and you linked the theme so perfectly with Cyril! It must be so hard for everyone not to be together, but the way you made the story unfold was beautiful!

The memories of how Y/N met Tommy, so gentle so kind… and now seeing their daughter do the same with Cyril oh stop! 🥺😭 I’m a sobbing mess!

I can’t stop but wonder, did Tommy know they would be walking over there? How many times before have they met like that?

“It’s alright love, she’s safe. Cyril’s nothing more than a teddy bear,”- and he is as well!!!! ♥️🥺

He messed up definitely… but he can try to make it better?

Thank you Cia for writing and sharing this beautiful story! And I want to thank you publicly for letting me share this beautiful piece of art with the peaky fam, you are dearly missed around! 🥰✨

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#That’s what Cill said #Holacia notes #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x fem!reader #tommy shelby fanfiction #peaky blinders fan fiction

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