#holds up a stone of farspeech

[fandomsnstuff]

I dont have a preamble today but it's mainly lup and barry, shocker

@taznovembercelebration

Day 24: whisper

Barry's been hearing a voice in his head for a few months, but what else is new? He's got enough going on what with the following instructions he doesn't remember leaving for himself.

Read it on AO3

When Barry started hearing a voice in his head, he probably wasn't as concerned as he should've been. His life's been exceptionally strange lately. He knows he's missing chunks of time, and his memory's absolutely shot. What's a disembodied woman's voice that speaks in static half the time?

“That one!” He jumps when the voice speaks up after having been silent for a while. “Gundren Rockseeker, take that job! The brown flyer!”

He reads the flyer in question. “I don't know… ‘the last job you'll ever need’? That sounds like I'm going to die, either by him or just the experience itself.”

“You'll be fine, promise.” He hesitates, and the voice says, “please, Bear? For me?”

Stupid voice and her stupid ability to convince him to do anything. “Fine,” he grumbles, snatching the little slip with the stone of farspeech frequency on it, “but if I die, it's on you.”

“I can live with that.”

When the job comes around, Barry has a hell of a time. The voice stays oddly quiet through it all. After getting rescued from gerblins and brought back to town, he tells the other guys the real deal with Gundren and Wave Echo Cave. They agree to the rescue and invite him along.

“I… really need to rest. I uh–”

“Go with them!” The voice is suddenly in the forefront of his mind, practically shouting. He's had enough practise by now looking normal as the voice talks to him, so the guys just make jokes about his career and whatever. The voice pleads with him, “please, Barry. You have to go with them. You'll be fine, I promise, you HAVE to go.”

“It would look SUPER bad if I just, like, died. It would be equally bad–” It's hard to listen to her beg him to go, but he's absolutely wiped. He's talking to the guys, but also says it for her, “let me pitch you this: it’s gonna be equally bad for my career if I just fucking die.”

It's not long after that the guys are gone. “They can't have gotten far yet,” she says, “you can still catch up, please, just go with them.”

He shakes his head. “I don't have enough of my faculties left to hold my own. They'll be better off just the three of them.” He settles in a chair in a corner of the tavern, “they'll be back.”

And good lord did they come back. Preceded by a flaming Gundren. He could swear he hears the voice sob as Gundren runs into the building. Barry somehow manages to dodge around him and run outside, where the guys are barreling into town, accompanied by someone he doesn't recognize.

When Gundren comes blazing out of the bar, Merle actually does a pretty good job calming him down. The fire engulfing him seems to die completely.

“You have to get that thing off of him,” the voice whispers in his head.

Despite his better judgement, Barry slowly starts to advance on him. But before he can get there, an arrow from seemingly nowhere lodges into his shoulder. The flames pick up again, and Gundren roars as they grow.

“No,” the voice sobs, “not again.”

Barry, for some absolutely idiotic reason, says, “wasn't me!”

Gundren turns to him, eyes nothing but flame, and there's a painful flash of heat before everything goes dark.

He comes back to himself on a plane of black glass. The memories follow soon after. He cries out and clutches his head. He can feel his form shuddering. He squeezes his eyes shut and pictures his childhood home. His mom. And Lup. Always Lup. Walking hand in hand, waking up next to her, kissing her for the first time, their duet, her eyes, her smile, her hair, the smattering of freckles across her nose, her hands and how gentle they are with him, her voice–

Her voice.

He jerks his head up. “Lup?” He looks around, he doesn't see her anywhere. “Lup?!”

He can't sense her. But she was in his head, she has to be nearby. It was like when they'd possess each other on the ship if one of them had died.

Something moves above him. He looks up, and sees an orb rising into the sky. He can faintly see the silhouettes of Taako, Magnus, and Merle inside. He breathes a deep sigh of relief. They survived. They're going to be under Lucretia's thumb, which is less than ideal for him, but they're alive. That's the important part.

He goes to the cave. There are signs of adventure all throughout. He reaches the final corridor, and sees the open vault, coated in black glass.

He finally found where she hid it, where she disappeared to, and he didn't even go. Idiot.

At first, it seems there's no other signs of her, but then he spots a dark smudge low on one of the walls. There's a slightly scattered pile of ash in front of it, and he just knows it was her.

He pulls a small jar from nowhere and gathers up some of the ash. It might be useful in growing her a new body. As soon as he finds her.

Lup's exhausted. She spent what felt like an eternity gathering the energy to contact Barry, and then when she did, he didn't understand a word she was saying. The others weren't with him, and he was being weird. She eventually managed to piece together that his memories were lost. He said she was talking in static, which is classic Fisher behaviour. But other than that, she was lost. All she could do was sit and observe and try to help him.

She was in his head for months before the Rockseeker job came up, and she felt more hopeful than she had ever since she got stuck.

And then the boys were there. And they were weird too, not behaving how they should at all. Not with each other, at least.

Then stupid careful alive non-wizard swiss cheese brain Barry chose to not fucking go to the fucking cave.

Sure, the boys found her, and she had a little fun giving Merle a small shock, but she wasn't in Taako's head to tell him to let her out. She needed them to get her back to Barry. And they did, but not before setting her relic free again, and her wonderful, stupid husband went and got himself killed.

So now she's at Taako's side, and she wants to talk to him, but she barely has enough energy left to perceive the world outside her umbrella. She doesn't know where they are. She thinks they're in the sky? They're led to a large room, and she can see Fisher in a massive tank. They've gotten big.

In front of the tank is an older woman holding a staff. They boys drink ichor given to them, and she opens her arms wide, “welcome, boys, to the Bureau of Balance.”

“Oh, Lucy,” she whispers to herself, “what did you do?”

#taz fic #blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup #taz lup #blupjeans fic

[barry-j-blupjeans]

#47 and Angus?

47. “Why are you whispering?”

((50 dialogue prompts here!))

--

Angus, technically speaking, wasn't supposed to be in the Reclaimers dorm this morning. Also technically speaking, he wasn't supposed to even have access to the Reclaimers room, but Mr. Merle had a bad habit about leaving everything he owned in easy access and he had left the keys on the floor of the cafeteria yesterday night. Really, he was lucky that Angus was the one to stumble upon them and not anyone like the Director, who would probably be upset at Mr. Merle's carelessness.

Still, the point remained: Angus was not supposed to be in the Reclaimers dorm this morning, but Mr. Merle had gone down planet side and Mr. Magnus had gone out training. Mr. Taako was as elusive as ever, but Angus didn't particularly mind because today wasn't magic day so he had no reason to see Mr. Taako at all. Not that Angus wouldn't like to hang out with Mr. Taako or Mr. Magnus or maybe even Mr. Merle! He really would, if he's being honest, but they were very busy people.

As evident by the fact that none of them were in the dorm this morning. Which turned out to be a good thing because as Angus set Mr. Merle's keys down on the kitchen counter, there was a very loud ripping sound and he was suddenly faced with an intruder.

Said intruder wasn't very taller or intimidating at all, actually. He was wearing a fancy suit (Angus could appreciate a good outfit, even on intruders) and was wielding a large, unpractical scythe that had cut a hole between wherever he had been and the Reclaimer's kitchen. He stepped through and the rift knitted itself back up neatly. The scythe vanished from his hand. He turned as if going to sit down at the table, and then met Angus's gaze.

"Oh," Fancy Intruder said. "You're not Taako."

"And you're not part of the Bureau," Angus said. There was no bracer on either of his arms and Angus had never seen him around before. Very quickly, Angus unclasped his wand from his lanyard and pointed it at Fancy Intruder. "So I'm going to have to ask you who you are, sir, and what you want with Mr. Taako."

"How old are you?" Fancy Intruder asked.

"I don't see how that's relevant, sir," Angus said. "And if you don't answer my questions I will be forced to incapacitate you. Now, please, what is your name, and what are your intentions with Mr. Taako? And also, if I may add, would you mind explaining the rift and how you got past the Bureau security spells."

"You can't be older than like, five, I think," Fancy Intruder said.

"I'm ten!" Angus said defensively. "That's double digits! And I'm old enough to know that you're not supposed to be here so I am going to ask you one more time, sir, to answer the questions before I have to incapacitate you."

"Right," Fancy Intruder said. He took a seat at the table. Angus didn't lower his wand. "I'm Kravitz, it's very nice to meet you...?"

"I am with holding my name until you prove yourself to be trustworthy," Angus said.

"Fine by me," Mr. Kravitz said, leaning back in his chair. "But, yes, I'm Kravitz and my intentions with Taako are... purely business."

"Bullshit," Angus said, slamming his hands down on the table. Caleb Cleveland did that a lot, especially after book ten. Mr. Kravitz jumped a bit and said,

"Excuse me?"

"Bullshit, sir," Angus said again, a little more politely. "If your intentions with Mr. Taako were purely business, then you could have left him a message on his Stone of Farspeech or contacted him through our HR. Please take this seriously."

"You're ten," Mr. Kravitz said.

"I'm almost eleven!" Angus said.

"I can assure you that my interest in Taako is nothing you need to be worried about," Mr. Kravitz said, adverting his eyes. Angus made a mental note of that. "In fact, shouldn't I be asking you what you're doing in here? From what I know, Taako didn't give his permission for you to be snooping around his kitchen."

"I was returning Mr. Merle's keys," Angus said, holding his head up high. "And from what I know, Mr. Taako did not give you permission to be snooping around the kitchen, either, Mr. Kravitz. But if you're not here to snoop, and if you're not here to murder Mr. Taako in his sleep-"

"Is that what you think I'm here for??"

"Then you must be here for..." Angus paused, squinting at him. He was very fancy. His tie had little hearts on it. He was looking at Angus in an uncomfortable but almost bemused way. Angus ranked his brain for any clues Mr. Taako might have given by accident. He snapped his fingers, remembering something very suddenly, and lowered his voice to a whisper. "...to take Mr. Taako on a date!"

"I-" Mr. Kravitz said, flushing, which just proved Angus's point. "Why are you whispering?"

"Listening ears," Angus said. "You never know who's around." He set his wand down, pulling out a small notebook from his pocket. Angus sat himself down across from Mr. Kravitz and pulled out his pen, too. "Now I have a different set of questions if you don't mind."

"I'm not sure-"

"Number one," Angus said, clicking his pen open. "What traits in Mr. Taako do you see as desirable?"

#angus mcdonald #kravitz #taakitz #kinda? #taz #taz balance #mine #asks #anon #ise cube writing

[herbgerblin]

ID: First image is a comic of a young, purple tiefling girl in a light dress, a young boy with read hair and missing tooth, and Taako, an elven man with long, blonde hair in a braid, tan, freckled skin, and a slight build. Taako is dressed in layered clothes of purple and blue, with a large wizard hat to match. In the first panel, the boy point back at the very nervous looking girl and shouts, "Taako! Susie just said a bad word! Taako beckons for the girl to come up to him while remarking, "I'll be the judge of that. Tell me what you said. The bottom panels show him crouched down as the the girl whispers, "I said the word "stupid."" Taako fails to stifle a laugh at that, saying "Pfft- well, let's try not to say that in the classroom." Second image is of Taako, wearing a short kimono decorated with constellations. There is a group of four children gathers around him and playing with his clothes. A young orc asks, "Why do you wear a floppy hat?" Taako replies, "I'm a wizard, it comes with the territory." Third image shows all the children shouting at him at once: "I want a wizard hat" "Me too!" "Yeah, no fair!" "I want to be a wizard." The following panel shows Taako staring at them all wordlessly. The bottom panel, with the caption "several hours later" shows taako leaning against a shopping cart filled with wizard hats. He is also hold a stone of farspeech to his ear and sheepishly says, "Okay, Krav, babe, before you ask any questions...I can explain." End ID]

You can thank @ceilingfan5 for providing the cute idea of Taako, but if he taught elementary school students.

#why do i keep making full comics these ids are untenable #taako #taz balance #the adventure zone #my art #herbgerbart

[hoothootmotherf-ckers]

magnus burnsides says fuck your time travel fix-it

Magnus really doesn’t know how he ended up here, but he blames Merle. Admittedly, Merle was on the other side of the continent, doing his beach camp thing, and Magnus had been exploring a creepy cave on his own with no backup, but still. It’s the principle of the thing.

Actually though, on second thought, he blames the creepy cultists surrounding him, chanting something incomprehensible and holding candles and very old looking books.

He glances around, taking in the color of their garb in particular, and groans. “C’mon, guys, again?”

The shortest red-robed cultist stutters in their chanting. “Excuse you?”

Magnus gestures at the circle. “Red robes, seriously? Can we quit it with the Cults of the Seven Birds shit, because you’re like the third ones this week and it’s getting tiresome.”

The short one, who Magnus has begun to think of as Tiny Asshole, heatedly states, “Our proper name is the Glorious Light-“

They’re cut off by a moderately-sized cultist placing a hand on their shoulder. “That’s enough,” they state in a smooth voice, and Tiny Asshole visibly backs down.

The new speaker, who Magnus mentally dubs Medium Asshole, turns to face him with their hands outstretched. “Magnus,” they say, in what they probably think is a smooth and persuasive tone but really sounds more sleazy and salesman-y.

“Yeah, no thanks,” Magnus says quickly. “I’m good, actually. I’ve got my Fantasy Girl Scout cookies, I’m not interested in any solar energy, and I sure as hell don’t want to know about your deities considering, uh, I live with them. And am them. So like, I’m gonna go now…?” His voice trails off in a questioning tone.

“Solar… what?” one cultist hisses to another. Medium Asshole is unfazed.

“No, I think you’ll want to hear this,” they say, drawing closer to Magnus. Magnus scoots back a bit.

“Magnus,” they repeat, “We can help you. We can send you back, back to the beginning of everything. You can save your town, your friends, your love. You can rewrite history.”

Magnus stares, then starts laughing. “Like, what the fuck, guys. Did you even listen to the Story? Did you just… skip that day or something? That was like, a whole thing, a major plot point, seriously.” He gestures broadly. “I’ve done this part before, I made myself pretty fucking clear. Hell, I’m not even a scientist and I’m ashamed of your research methods.”

“The Grand Relics were flawed-“ Medium Asshole tries again, and Magnus yet again cuts them off.

“Yeah, no shit they were,” he states. “I mean, I fucking made that one, I should know. But again, you are missing the goddamn point. It wasn’t about not using the Chalice, it’s about respecting my wife’s choices. So no, I’m not going to go back. I’m going to go home and write a letter to my wife so we can both laugh about how you’ve entirely misread like, my entire character.” He grins. “And believe me, Julia’s going to have some things to say, and if you’re lucky, I can get my family to  pass those on to you in creepy cultist prison. She’s very good at creative insults.”

“I’m sorry you don’t agree with us,” Medium Asshole says, almost apologetically, “But we have to do this.” They raise their hands dramatically. “I WISH-“

Magnus walks straight up to them and pulls their hood down over their face. The rest of their Wish is garbled within the fabric. “Yeah, no, we’re not doing this,” he states in a chipper voice. He turns to face the rest. “You’ve all got exactly thirty seconds to run before I call the goddesses of Death and Fate down on your asses,” he grins. “Like, for real, guys. Poor life choices here.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence, the cultists frozen (except for Medium Asshole, who’s struggling to disentangle from their robes). Then Magnus takes a breath.

“THIRTY! TWENTY-NINE!” he starts shouting, and the cultists scatter. Tiny Asshole hikes up their robes and sprints like a bat out of hell, many of the others close behind. Trailing at the back is Medium Asshole, who shoots back what is probably intended to be a glare but like, hooded robes, guys. Magnus just smiles, waves politely, and keeps counting.

Magnus reaches zero, with the cultists out of sight. He then pulls out his Stone of Farspeech, and says into it, “Hey Reaper Squad, your time to shine!”

A black, crackling portal opens up beside Magnus, and Kravitz, Lup, and Barry step out, fully garbed in spectral black robes with gleaming scythes.

“Cults again, seriously?” Kravitz sighs. “That’s what, six this month?”

“I think seven, if you count the one with the kobolds.”

“What was it this time?” Barry asks, curious. “Eternal life? Godhood? Human sacrifice?”

Magnus snorts. “Nooope, better. They wanted to send me back in time.”

There’s a moment of silence, and Lup cracks up laughing. “Are you fucking shitting me?” she chokes out, cackling. “They tried that with you?”

“I know, right?!”

#taz fic #my fic #taz #magnus burnsides #the adventure zone #taz balance #this is nonsense and I had a great time

[thelowlysatsuma]

alright dipsticks, hear me out

taz balance au where everything is the same except that lucretia and barry have each others’ farspeech frequencies

it all starts about a year after lucretia voidfishes the plane. she’s poking around goldcliff, hoping to find some way to con some rich shit into paying for her gigantic moon base, when she runs — literally runs headfirst — into some bespectacled nerd in denim

barry, for his part, doesn’t know why this complete stranger is offering to buy him lunch as an apology for spilling his Fantasy Starbucks all over his oldass shirt, but he sure as shit isn’t complaining. especially when something, something about this kid feels so... familiar

in a spur of the moment decision, lucretia gives him her farspeech number. barry doesn’t think anything of it at the time

...anything, that is, until he’s rising, spectral and flickering, over his battered corpse, and he begins laughing hysterically, tears glimmering in long-gone eye sockets. he may not have lup back, but he’s got his little sister.

so they start texting. is barry furious at lucretia for what she’s done? sure, a bit. but he understands her logic, and his temper is soothed when she point-blank tells him that she’s going to help him find lup. they may be working against each other as far as the relics are concerned, but if lucretia can locate at least one more shred of her former family, then by god is she going to. barry understands, he thinks, and so they help keep each other a little less lonely over a long ten years

lucretia keeps barry updated on how the other birds are doing, as best she can. they rejoice together as magnus and julia take back raven’s roost, and when glamour springs is shadowed by a mass poisoning barry has to do everything up to physically restraining lucretia from beating the ass of whichever motherfucker did that to taako. wait, he tells her. physical pain is temporary. a lich, on the other hand, is in a prime position to make some douche’s life a living hell. lucretia grins and offers to fund his plots in any way she can.

barry, for his part, keeps lucretia up-to-date on the search for lup. they have matching little cork boards in their respective offices, each filled with maps and theories and half-baked what-ifs. they aren’t any closer to finding out what happened to her, but they will. they have to.

speaking of things happening, barry is the first one to find lucretia after wonderland. he hadn’t been able to reach her for a month, and so when he feels the enormous surge of pure magical despair explode outwards from the felicity wilds, he transports himself there as quickly as he can. he finds his baby sister at the centre of a mile-wide crater, twenty years older and countless sacrifices poorer, and he holds her as gently as he can without physical hands, and makes her promise to never deal with wonderland again. fuck, he’ll get the animus bell for her, he doesn’t care. he just can’t see lucretia in that state ever again. (never again, that’s what they told themselves, in a group huddle late one night the dawn of cycle 66. he’d failed her once. he couldn’t do it again.)

as she builds up the bureau, lucretia starts getting questions about her best friend on the stone. lucas asks her point blank who it is one day early in their acquaintance, and she answers “b- uh, b-j” “that tells me basically nothing. what does that even stand for?” lucas demands. “uh,” lucretia says, “🅱️amazing jrace”

thus begins a fine tradition of bureau employees trying to get any info they can on the mysterious “bj”, including his actual name. so far some of the top answers they’ve gotten from madame director include “bitchin jackass” “burger joint” “beetlejuice” and “banjo jimboree”. once, robbie asks her if he’s her secret lover, and lucretia has to summon a bucket before retching in disgust, which puts paid to that particular theory fairly succinctly

barry, for his part, adores these rumours. he keeps asking if lucretia will lift the lich barrier, just for a day, so he can come and stir up even more shit. lucretia, while admittedly very tempted, denies.

when he finds out that lucretia has been telling bureau employees that the red robes are evil, barry is understandably insulted. the next group of regulators that touch the ground are covered in fantasy cheez whiz for the duration of their mission.

lucretia gets him back by replacing all the denim in the jeans at his base with silly string. barry moves bases, and the prank war escalates

(no one has the courage to tell madame director that her hair has been turned rainbow at the last candlenights party. privately, lucretia thinks she looks bitchin)

every now and again, lucretia will text barry in a panic. these texts tend to look like this:

“barry.” “barold aid me” “barry I fucked shit up real good this time” “barry” “barry” “barry I was at the fantasy Olive Garden and the waiter said ‘enjoy your meal’ and I said ‘you too’ barry kill me n o w “

barry can and will mock lucretia mercilessly for this. he also insists for weekly video updates on fisher and junior.

he also has biweekly fantasy skype sessions with davenport

booyah: I saw a woman so beautiful I started crying???

bear-old: oh mood

booyah: and then I hired her and her son (who’s a little bitch) to work on my secret moon base and I think I’ve made a terrible mistake???????

bear-old: oh my fucking god this is why I don’t trust you to stop the apocalypse

when the thb start working as reclaimers, barry demands weekly updates on them, as well. it goes about as well as you’d expect

booyah: magnus ate the philosopher’s stone

bear-old: he fucking w h a t ?

booyah: he used the glutton’s fork, and he ATE the philosopher’s stone. taako and merle used stone skin and stone shape to get the damn thing out. happy fucking candlenights.

when barry finds out that taako’s DATING the fool who’s been chasing after him wile e coyote style for over a decade, he loses his s h i t. he and lucretia have a girls’ night where they bitch about taako and eat shitty chocolate to cope

bear-old: you HIRED a BABY???

booyah: he’s ten! that’s plenty old. and he’s certainly competent, seeing as he found my organization when even you couldn’t.

bear-old: creesh please. please do not Irreparably Fuck Up A Small Child

booyah: hey, at least I’m not the one who threw him off a moving train!

bear-old: I never threw anyone off a

bear-old: lucretia

bear-old: who

bear-old: who in your employ threw ANGUS MCDONALD, a LITERAL CHILD, off of a MOVING. VEHICLE?

booyah:

booyah: taako

bear-old: fucking fantasy CHRIST

(they have quite a few girls’ nights eating shitty chocolate and razzing on taako, actually)

team sweet flips goes to the director’s office one day to give a status report and find her red-eyed and coughing. she says she has allergies. the cute cat video barry just texted her on her stone, however, begs to differ

lucretia preps the boys for refuge, yes, but her mind is filled with texts and tomes and the letters “l u p” carved into a bureau wall. she passes countless sleepless nights with barry on the line, trying to decipher what it all means

but they emerge from the woven gulch unscathed, and that can only mean one thing: wonderland

she doesn’t tell barry where she’s sending them. she can’t let him interfere out of some misguided attempt to save her from the place. her texts grow few and far between

she doesn’t have to tell barry. he knows

the day they get sent out, as lucretia breaks down in her office, surrounded by a dizzying vastness that could envelop her very being if she would just let it, her stone buzzes.

four words: I’ll keep them safe

and then?

well, then it’s the end of the world

(but when lup emerges from her decade-long cage, phantasmal and resplendent, lucretia and barry share a look)

(and when the hunger is consuming the only home she knows and she’s flying out in one last attempt to face is, barry is on her stone)

(and when the dust settles and they’re finally, finally free, when the world hears a story and a song and former and current bureau employees alike learn just how important the mysterious “bj” really is, when lucretia looks at the wreckage of her life’s work and home and family — when all that happens, barry is the one to beckon to her with open arms.)

(they’ve been beside the other for a hundred and ten years, after all. that’s not gonna fucking change now.)

anyways yeah folks barry and lucretia texting au play with me in this space

@littlemisscritical @thatcoldfeeling and you know what? @herbgerblin what the hell

#taz #the adventure zone #taz balance #lucretia taz #taz lucretia #taz barry #barry taz #taz the director #the director taz #lucretia the adventure zone #the adventure zone lucretia #barry the adventure zone #the adventure zone barry #barry bluejeans #barry j bluejeans #madam director #madame director #thezonecast #taz au #seven birds #taz ipre #taz red robes #taz lup #taz taako #taz magnus #taz merle #taz killian #taz carey #taz noelle #taz davenport

[terezis]

one night kravitz brings home a baby he rescued from a necromancy bust

kravitz steps through a rift and into the living room of the apartment he shares with taako holding a swaddled little something in his arms like it is a bomb waiting to explode. taako glances up from the sofa where he's watching reality tv - lately he’s been toying with the idea of starting his own network, but what would he even call it? taako time? taako tv? the look on kravitz’s face is not promising; maybe there is a bomb. he squints at kravitz and bundle both.

is that a baby?

taako says, “is that a -”

kravitz says, “shh, she's sleeping.”

taako sits up and frowns. “baby, did you bring home a baby? are you with child? i know we kept the last stray you brought in from the cold,” angus jr. shifts in taako's lap and purrs, “but -”

“no, gods, i'm not suggesting that we -” kravitz bites his lip. “i reaped her parents this afternoon. i couldn't just leave her there alone.”

“woof. yeah, no, i guess that’d make for some awkward family dinners, huh? like serving hot dogs to a daschund.”

kravitz snorts. the grim reaper shifts, a little awkward, bouncing the actual real life newborn against his side. he supposes the contrast is a little funny. “i was hoping you'd know who to call? could you find the number for fantasy cps?” in his day, people usually left orphaned children in baskets on the nearest doorstep and then played a high-stakes game of ding-dong-ditch. he does not say this out loud.

taako briefly considers playing a very high-stakes game of ding-dong-ditch. instead he says, “no.”

kravitz blinks. “no, you don’t know the number?”

 “no, i know exactly who to call,” taako responds, reaching for his stone of farspeech. he pokes at it idly for a moment, and then there’s a beat while it rings.

“y’ello?”

taako leans back and grins. it is not a comforting expression, although kravitz is still admittedly charmed. “hey, lulu. you want a baby?”

-

and that's how the blupjeans baby was born :o)

#writing #i feel this is maybe you trying to bait me into making a taakitz baby #but alas i just cannot conceive of a world where these two would want a child #any reluctant paternal feelings taako may have had have been funneled into a scholarship fund for at-risk youths at the amazing school of m #and also angus #and even angus does not live with him full time! #LOL #taako has AMBITIONS #taako has a SCHOOL and MULTIMEDIA BRAND EMPIRE to run #also sometimes he wants to run off on an impromptu trip to goldcliff to wine and dine his boyfriend! #can't do that with a bab in tow #Anonymous

[skygemspeaks]

au where everything goes horribly wrong in story and song, the ipre crew has to escape with the light of creation, and have their final stand on a deserted world where no innocents are around to be caught in the crossfire.

then, the hunger is gone for good and they don’t have the promise of an end date for moving on to the next world.

the magic users in the group spend four years trying to find a way to travel between planar systems, and then they spend the next five years after that hopping from planar system to planar system, hoping that one of these days, they’ll find the one they called home.

imagine it’s nine years after angus lost his entire family. he’s twenty now, no longer a boy, and even though carey and killian were the best guardians he could ask for, and had raised him with all the love in the world, his heart still aches for the ipre crew.

their world has moved on and rebuilt after the run-in with the hunger.

the stories about the seven heroes from the day of story and song have taken on a near-mythical status. statues of them go up in all the big cities, turning them into minor deities in their own rights.

and then, one day, angus goes in to his job at lucas’ school, and students and staff alike are all abuzz.

he hears about sightings of a brilliant silver ship, streaking through the sky the night before.

angus feels the shock reverberate through every cell in his body, feels his heart fill with hope. he wants to learn more about it, to dust off his rusty detective skills. 

but he has a job to do, and he can’t abandon it.

he stumbles his way through the first hour of classes, until a teaching assistant shows up to take over his class, letting him know that lucas wanted him in his office.

angus goes, heart in his throat and wondering what the headmaster wants with him.

when he walks through the door, lucas looks up at him with tear-filled eyes and a brilliant smile on his face.

he holds out a stone of farspeech in angus’ direction.

confused, angus takes the stone from him.

“hello?” he asks, unsure. 

the reply comes immediately in a voice that sounds close to tears, one he’d been waiting a decade to hear again.

“what’s shakin’, pumpkin?”

#tazb #the adventure zone #taz balance #angus mcdonald #taako #lucas miller #ipre team #starblaster crew #seven birds

[anistarrose]

Chapter Summary: Barry gets a job offer. Kravitz sees a new side of the moon. Taako has a long-overdue chat with his umbrella.

Characters: Kravitz, Taako, Barry Bluejeans, Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, Noelle | No-3113, The Raven Queen, The Director | Lucretia, misc. BoB cameos, Julia Burnsides, Garyl

Relationships: Taakitz, Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans & Kravitz, Kravitz & Angus McDonald

Lately, I’ve been thinking of this fic as a story told in two acts. They’re not necessarily going to be equal in length, but this chapter is definitely the end of Act One.

***

“That’s basically the whole story, Your Majesty,” Kravitz concluded, after several minutes of talking at speeds that no being who needed to breathe could hope to match. Barry and Noelle stood on either side of him, mustering the most innocent expressions he’d ever seen on the faces of a lich or a robot, respectively. “Not that I’d blame you for having follow-up questions, because… well, holy shit.”

Holy shit, indeed, the Raven Queen agreed. A projected image of her visage was floating above a circle of five perfect raven feathers, having been carefully arranged on the cave floor by Kravitz. Istus said we were approaching unprecedented times, but…

She sighed. Well, I must admit that with the apparent exception of Istus, we gods hardly think about what lies outside our planar system. It’s… inconvenient, uncomfortable, how we hold so much power in this world yet understand so little about what’s beyond it. This threat, this Hunger, is news even to me — but didn’t you already know that, Barry, from all the Celestial Planes you’ve seen invaded before?

Barry nodded. “Yeah. I never saw stuff like that directly, of course, but Merle’s a cleric, so… he had his ways of knowing it was never a pretty picture.”

The Raven Queen let out a sigh, like wind escaping from beneath a whole flock’s wings. Then I have more important things to do than reconcile your undeath with the laws of this world, and you have more important things to do than defend yourself to me. Barry, Noelle, you are free to go at least until the apocalypse is averted — but if we get through that, and only then, I’d like you to start thinking about accepting jobs in the Astral Plane. Whatever state the world is in after the Hunger arrives, Kravitz and I will probably need your help.

Barry went dead silent, while Noelle’s whole display lit up with excitement.

“Are we talking afterlife office jobs,” she asked, “or something more along the lines of what Kravitz does?”

“We’ve got plenty of open positions, honestly,” Kravitz explained. “You could probably pick either.”

“Huh,” Barry finally muttered, so soft that Kravitz could’ve missed it. “I — I appreciate the offer, but — I gotta know one thing before I even consider it. Will I have to — to bring in any of my family? Anyone from the Starblaster?”

I’d like to speak with them all eventually, and I may ask you to facilitate that, the Raven Queen replied, but they won’t be punished.

Barry nodded. “Okay. That’s… that’s something I’m willing to consider, then.”

I hope you find out what happened to Lup. Her location is concealed from even me, but I know she’s never entered my domain, so I believe you’ll find her out there somewhere.

Barry’s eyes flickered, shedding drops of light that ran down his face for a few seconds before they coalesced back together. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

It’s the least I could do. From here, my priority shall be to warn the rest of the pantheon, but we’ll be in touch. The Raven Queen’s visage disappeared with a clap of thunder and a gust of wind that lifted the feathers into the air, carrying them back to Kravitz’s waiting hands as her voice boomed throughout the cave one last time. Good luck, my children.

“That went well, right?” Noelle asked when the echoes faded. “That felt pretty good for a conversation with the death goddess.”

“She’s a lot more reasonable than most gods, I think you’ll find,” Kravitz concurred. “But what’s the plan now? Because other than heading up to the moon, and bringing the boys back down for you to tell them what little you can, I haven’t got a lot of ideas.”

“I dunno either. I don’t like keeping them in the dark either, but it’s very little we can tell them aside from —” Barry paused. “Wait. You can go on the moonbase?”

“Yes? At least, no one’s tried to stop me. I guess I can see why you wouldn’t be allowed up there, but —”

“It’s more than a ban and a wanted poster keeping me off! It’s an anti-undeath ward —” Electricity crackled inside Barry’s silhouette, and he let out a laugh that could’ve woken the not-yet-reanimated dead. “But you, Kravitz, apparently possess enough celestial energy to balance out the undead elements of your soul — which is perfect! It changes everything!”

“Uh,” Kravitz began, reflexively taking a step back, “I think I’m missing some context here —”

“That ward’s the only thing stopping Barry from sneaking onto the moonbase and stealing the ichor he needs to inoculate his family!” Noelle explained, totally unperturbed by Barry’s mad scientist laugh. “I couldn’t steal it for him because the same ward keeps me from leaving my fuse for very long, and this robot body’s not exactly stealthy — but you can decorporealize for as long as you want on the moon, right?”

“I’m not sure I’ve actually tried,” Kravitz replied, rubbing his chin as the puzzle pieces fell into place, “but I’ve never had issues getting through anti-undead wards before, corporeally or otherwise!”

Barry rubbed his hands together, smoke and sparks pouring out from between them — but for the first time, Kravitz was sure he saw a glint of a smile flash on Barry’s face.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Barry asked. “Let’s head back to my place and plan a heist!”

***

“So what do we do now, Fantasy Columbo?” Taako asked, staring at the Umbra Staff in his hands. “I didn’t hear any jingles start playing for solving some sick higher power’s umbrella lich puzzle — how does this help us? What does it change?”

This should have been a revelation, Taako knew. This should have changed everything. But his mind was lagging behind his racing heart, struggling to fit together puzzle pieces that he knew should connect. Struggling to understand why he cared so fiercely about an evil ghost of an evil wizard being trapped in the arcane focus he’d looted her corpse for.

“I… I guess we should try to communicate with her?” Angus suggested. “She’s a Red Robe, so she must have something to do with —” He gestured wildly from his notepad, to Taako’s head, to the incinerated coffee table. “With all of this. Right?”

He removed his glasses, wiping off drops of sweat, and Taako realized that Angus, the smartest person he knew, had ran into an uncomfortable mental wall of his own — and after just a split second of looking at Angus’s pained expression, Taako made a decision.

“Hey, kid. I need your arguably expert opinion real quick — Magnus and Merle aren’t smart enough to be memory-wiping masterminds, right?”

“Oh, absolutely not, sir. We both know they’re no good at keeping their lies straight.”

“Could you check in on them for me? And try to bring ‘em back here — but, uh, only if you can do it without Lucretia or Davenport spotting you, and I need you to really focus on looking out for them. I don’t know who else I can trust with this —”

With a huge, determined smile on his face, Angus saluted. “I won’t let you down, sir!” He looked far less pained as he slunk out of the room, and Taako breathed a sigh of relief.

“Okay. Kid’s gonna be alright with his mind off of this, and now we can have some peace and quiet, Lup.” His mouth lingered on the name Lup but his mind didn’t, giving no thought to the affection he instinctively voiced. “So… let’s chat?”

***

Lucretia’s office looked just as Barry had described, and not all that different from the Reclaimer’s dorms in terms of architecture. The sole occupant was not the Director herself, but a mustached gnome man who sat at the oversized desk, focusing intently on a game of solitaire. He didn’t even look up as Kravitz’ soul drifted past, steering clear of the desk and floating right through a heavy, closed door.

Kravitz kept inside the left wall of the corridor — Barry may not have reported any traps in this stretch, but the puzzle that Barry had reported was nowhere to be seen, and Kravitz knew a suspiciously empty-looking hallway when he saw one. He phased through a second door at the end of the chamber, ignoring the computer that looked even more foreign to him than his Stone of Farspeech, and recorporealized inside a second office.

This close to the source of the ward, a spinning disk imbued with radiant energy, Kravitz could finally feel its influence — a faint burn and refreshing cold that coexisted, an antipathy towards his undead body and a resonance with the Raven Queen’s blessing. Tempted as he was to knock down the disk and short-circuit the ward, it wasn’t poised do much besides mildly distract him, and he was making this visit with a much different goal — one that he’d expose, if he ended up dramatically trashing someone else’s holy symbol.

At the far end of the office sat a murky tank, and above that tank, an alarm was ringing. A few feet to the alarm’s left, a needle punched holes in a steadily scrolling paper, recording what Kravitz inferred to be times and intensities — and there was a lot of information to infer from, because the paper output had not just reached the floor, but piled up to almost waist height.

A massive volume of alarms had clearly been accumulating, and someone — presumably Lucretia — was far too busy to check on every message. Ever since he’d died, Kravitz had been notoriously bad at keeping track of dates, but a quick comparison with the dates at the bottom of the pile and the dates of the current output revealed that the alarms had started trickling in last night, before a massive influx took shape only about an hour ago.

This was all very interesting to the part of Kravitz that loved a good mystery, but his pragmatic side won out, knowing this alarm could attract unwelcome attention at any moment. He switched his attention to the contents of the tank — which appeared just like Barry had said it would, but was still plenty fascinating. A jellyfish floated in murky ichor, illuminated from within by a dark purple nebula pattern, and recoiling away from Kravitz as he rested a hand atop the tank.

“Now, now. It’s alright,” Kravitz murmured, in the same tone he might use to calm a distressed soul. “No need to be scared…”

The baby Voidfish hummed two chords, far lower and louder than Kravitz had expected from such a tiny creature — but music, at least, was something Kravitz knew he could work with. He summoned his scythe in the form of a lute, plucking out a peaceful melody he’d been fond of for hundreds of years… and only a few bars in, the Voidfish began to echo him, humming along with increasing volume.

“I’m just here to do my friends a favor,” Kravitz promised. “It won’t take long at all.”

The Voidfish seemed to relax, so Kravitz let go of his lute, allowing it to float at his side with a faint blue aura suspending it in air. He pulled a canteen from beneath his cloak, slowly submerging it in the tank until it was full to the brim with ichor — probably a slight excess, but he’d rather have too much than not enough.

“See? All done,” he whispered, reattaching the canteen’s cap. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

The Voidfish hummed the refrain of his song once more as he reformed his scythe, and as if to say farewell, waved a tentacle in his direction as he stepped through the portal off the moonbase.

Just a moment later, the very second Kravitz’s feet hit solid subterranean ground, Barry was at his side with a barrage of questions. “How did it go? Have you got the ichor? Did anyone see you?”

“Good, yes, and no in that order,” Kravitz replied, handing Barry the canteen. “The only thing I’m worried about is… well, you’ve seen how Lucretia has an alarm system in her office, right? It’s going a little haywire right now — and has been since last night.”

Barry’s relief morphed into frustration mid-relieved sigh. “I was hoping we could avoid that, since the boys haven’t had a run-in with me in a couple days — but I guess someone’s still trying to remember something, and it won’t be long ‘til Lucretia picks up on it. We gotta get a move on.”

“I did talk to Taako about the stars disappearing last night, come to think of it,” Kravitz recalled. “I hope he’s not still hung up on that, but it sounds like he might be.”

“Shoot, that coulda done it. No fault of your own, obviously.” Barry sighed again, picking up a couple of scrolls from his desk and placing them on a much more neatly organized bookshelf. “Sorry for the mess, by the way. You and Noelle have been my only visitors so far this whole decade.”

Kravitz had seen Barry’s home before he left for his heist on the moon, and it had already been pretty respectable as secret lairs went. Aside from the stalactites and the dubiously legal cloning pod, it had looked more like a disheveled academic’s study than a necromancer’s dungeon — but in Kravitz’s absence, Barry had apparently gotten up to some spring cleaning. He’d draped a sheet over the pod, which was still glowing bright green and far from innocuous, and somehow gotten his hands on a decent-quality couch, either from a pocket dimension or a conjuration spell or gods knew what else.

“Before you got involved, my plan never involved the boys coming in here while they could remember me,” Barry admitted. “They’d still be far from seeing me at my worst, but — well, I dunno if I can make this place look welcoming, exactly, but I’d rather not make them worry about me ‘cause of it.”

“If it helps, this is easily the nicest cave I’ve ever seen a lich holed up in,” Kravitz said, which got a quiet laugh out of Barry.

“Yeah, I bet it is.” He opened the canteen, pouring a modest sample of the ichor into a glass vial. “Hard to believe this is happening so suddenly, but… I think now’s the time. Lucretia could catch on at any minute, and I — I’ll be ready by the time you get back, I think.”

“Good luck remodeling,” Kravitz told him with a nod, and tore open a portal back to the moon.

***

“So… let’s chat?” Taako suggested. He didn’t know what kind of reply he was expecting, but he had to admit it stung when the Umbra Staff didn’t move an inch.

“Okay, what you do isn’t exactly chatting. That one’s on me. Can you just give me a sign, a little poltergeisting or something, if you’re listening?”

Still nothing, which continued to hurt more than it should have.

“Are you mad at me? I thought you smacked me in the face today to get my attention! ‘Cause you wanted to talk, but…” He glanced away from the umbrella in his lap. “I guess you really hate Kravitz, don’t you? And I was helping him hunt you, even before we started dating…”

He sighed. “And you’re only here because I stole from your grave! What was I even thinking? Of course you hate me, and maybe I half-deserve it —”

The Umbra Staff twitched in his hands, subtly yet so abruptly that he jumped to his feet with a yelp and dropped it onto the floor. It spun over ninety degrees as it fell, landing to point at the shelf of seldom-used spell components that Taako and Merle shared.

“You… want me to cast something?” Taako knelt on the rug, gently wrapping a hand around the handle but not raising the umbrella from the floor. He didn’t feel even the slightest movement. “Hey, if you’re not mad at me, then… do something. Do anything.”

He thought the handle might’ve trembled slightly, but wasn’t sure — it could’ve just been wishful thinking. “Okay, flip side. Do something if you are mad at me.”

This time, he was certain there was no response. “Okay, I’ve narrowed it down to either ‘you’re not mad’ or ‘you don’t want to talk to me,’ but I don’t get why you’re being so subtle about this. I mean, I’m not asking you to cast Sunbeam on my boyfriend again, but I know you could be giving me more obvious signs than —”

He happened to glace back at the component shelf, noticing the chest of spare wands he’d stockpiled — arcane foci, just like the ones the Umbra Staff consumed — then just like that, it clicked, and there was finally one quirk of his rogue umbrella that Taako had an inkling of an explanation for.

“Unless… you can’t give me a bigger sign because I haven’t beaten a magic user in a while!” he gasped. “You’re not trying to ignore me — you’re running out of power!”

He unlatched the little chest, grabbing two cheap wooden wands and snapping them both — and sure enough, the Umbra Staff inverted with more vigor than Taako had seen from it all day, swallowing them whole.

“Better?” Taako asked, and a tiny pink flame sparked to life at the tip of the umbrella. Lup must’ve summoned it with a variant of Prestidigitation, because it smelled less like smoke and more like comforting home cooking.

“Now I know why you chose me instead of Merle at the cave! You’re an adoring fan of Sizzle it Up!” Taako teased, and the Umbra Staff bonked him on the head. “Okay, fine, maybe not. Gods know that’s not the only thing I’ve got going for me over Merle.”

He glanced around the room, rubbing his chin. “I was going to say you could turn that flame on and off real fast, send me a message in Fantasy Morse Code, but then I remembered I don’t actually know Fantasy Morse that well. Maybe you could, like, burn something into the wall —”

The flame atop the Umbra Staff intensified, excited.

“But I guess we’d run out of space real fast — never mind explaining it to Lucretia, yikes! We’d be toast… just like the walls.”

The flame died down, replaced with a disembodied, glowing red Mage Hand. With an upturned palm, it made a motion that Taako guessed was meant to convey a shrug and a then what?

“Oh, you didn’t tell me you could do Mage Hand from in there too! I can work with that!”

He made a beeline for the dorm kitchen, ripping open a fresh bag of flour and dumping it directly onto the counter. “I really don’t wanna leave written evidence, so you write stuff in this, and I’ll erase it when you’re done. Sound good?”

Lup squeezed his shoulder, then traced four words in the flour.

I’ve never hated you

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Taako muttered, pretending he couldn’t feel his whole chest seizing up. With a bare hand, he wiped the flour flat, and only sent a little flying onto the floor accidentally. “I… I wanna let you out. Because this is a really inconvenient way to talk, but — but also ‘cause I know you didn’t mean to get trapped in there, and living inside your arcane focus sounds like it’s the pits. Is there a way I can free you?”

yes but not right now

“Why not?”

no liches on the moon

“Oh, have they got wards to block you off or something? I guess we wouldn’t be able to talk at all if I freed you, and that… that wouldn’t be great.”

I’d miss you :(

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Taako replied, and he said it before he meant it. The figure of speech slipped out right away, ingrained after years of overwhelmingly insincere conversations, but his emotions caught up to him more slowly — starting with the loneliness and the longing, before they ate away at him and left an emptiness behind, a dread of never being whole again and a temptation to tear the whole world apart, because what would he have left to lose?

It ended with a throbbing skull, with static clouding the peripheries of his vision, with a mind that couldn’t fathom why missing someone would hit so close to a home that should have never existed. The last year notwithstanding, he couldn’t remember a time where he’d be caught dead missing someone’s company… but now all he could think, all he could feel, was I’m not losing you again.

“There’s gotta be a workaround — right, Lup?” he managed. “Like, is there a way I could take the wards down?”

maybe, but

Lucretia would notice

“I’m gonna go out on a limb, and assume… she wouldn’t be too thrilled to know you’re here.”

Lup took longer to reply than usual, erasing the first few letters of her response to start over several times.

it’s so complicated

don’t think I can explain

“Right. Of course. ‘Cause of the Voidfish.” Taako rubbed his cheek, expecting to wipe away stray splotches of flour — but instead, he felt his fingers grow damp with tears that he knew weren’t just from the pain of his headache.

“I — I don’t know what to do, Lup. I want to help you, but Kravitz is probably in danger because of me so I have to make sure he’s okay, and I know he won’t like me helping you — then there’s Angus and Magnus and Merle, too, I have no clue if any of them are in as much trouble as us. And I just… I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to this. That the worst of all the bombshells still hasn’t dropped, and I’m about to lose all you while I still don’t know who I am, or who I can trust besides —”

The fingers of Lup’s Mage Hand interlocked with his, and it was a strange sensation — fuzzy and only about half-tangible, as simple magic constructs were expected to be, but warm like a living hand despite the lack of flesh and blood. Taako couldn’t say how long he was silent, just focusing on just that warmth and the inexplicable nostalgia that accompanied it, before he finally asked: “What do you think I should do?”

Lup withdrew her hand slowly, but didn’t hesitate nor erase as she traced four new words:

find Barry

trust Barry

“…I’m glad I’ve got you, Lup, ‘cause I never woulda come up with that on my own,” Taako muttered, chuckling in spite of himself. He didn’t doubt for a second that Lup’s advice was worth following, but he had to admit it was ridiculous how every time a problem came up in his life, someone insisted it could be solved by tracking down a denim-clad lich. “Do you know any of his favorite hangouts, or —”

As Lup’s Mage Hand zipped back into the Umbra Staff, Taako didn’t quite notice the scythe rending space behind him, but he whirled around at the sound of feet hitting the ground and an incredulous voice speaking up.

“Uh, Taako?”

Kravitz carried himself with considerably less poise than usual, wearing a tattered suit that had presumably once seen better days, but he appeared otherwise unscathed, and Taako’s heart jumped for joy.

“I — I — I’m sorry?” Kravitz’s words sounded less like an apology, and more like a sincere question of whether or not he should be sorry for intruding. “I should’ve just portalled to the hallway and knocked. I didn’t mean to walk in on — on whatever this is —”

Before he could stammer another adorably confused word, Taako rushed in for a hug — never mind how crazy he knew he looked, covered in flour and inexplicably teary-eyed over an umbrella.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe — I was so worried about you. I thought for sure you were in trouble and it was all my fault — it was all because —”

Kravitz slipped a cool, but unusually not cold hand under Taako’s hat, mussing up his hair to match the rest of his appearance. “I won’t lie, Taako — there were moments today where I was worried for me. But it turned out to all be a misunderstanding, which is always a pleasant surprise in my line of work — and even better, if you can believe it, one of my new friends knows what’s up with those deaths you can’t remember!”

Kravitz was beaming, but Taako’s blood ran cold like he was the dead man walking. Just when he’d been so sure, so relieved, that he hadn’t dragged Kravitz into the Voidfish conspiracy after all, it turned out that Kravitz had sleuthed his way right to its very center.

No wonder he gets along so well with Angus, Taako thought wryly. Two constantly endangered nerds of a feather.

“This friend can explain it much better than I can, so we’ll visit him by portal — but Magnus and Merle need to hear the truth, too,” Kravitz went on, still seeing no reason not to be enthusiastic. “Are they available?”

“Oh, those clowns? They’re off playing kickball with Angus or something — should be back soon.” Taako knew how Kravitz thought, and knew that Kravitz believed he was doing the right thing by digging up these secrets. He was fulfilling an oath to his goddess and helping Taako get some closure, which should have been great news as far as Kravitz knew — but now he was on the moon, speaking openly about truths a Voidfish had suppressed…

And Taako was conspiring with a lich, soon to be two liches, behind Kravitz’s back. He wasn’t expecting to like the truth behind his eight deaths, if he could even wrap his mind around it — and he had a feeling that when it came time to be judged by the Raven Queen, Kravitz would like the truth and its consequences even less, regardless of whether Taako could think clearly enough to defend himself.

So he withdrew from the hug, wiping the flour — and the incriminating mention of Barry — off the counter with a swoop of his hand. “Oh, drat! Did not mean to do that, ‘cause now I���ll have to mop the whole floor —”

“Okay, Taako. What’s wrong?” Kravitz asked firmly — and Taako didn’t know why he’d thought he’d be able to stall for time, given how Kravitz knew him pretty well, too. “You’re not in trouble with the Queen — I mean, we’ll probably have to invent and then fill out an entirely new form of paperwork about you and your pals, but I told her everything and she’s not mad, I can say that much. Same goes for Magnus, Merle, and — uh, forgive me, just Magnus and Merle. It’s been a long day.”

“Okay, that’s the second piece of good bird news you’ve dropped on me in like twenty-four hours, and I appreciate that,” Taako sighed. “But — okay, listen. We’ve got to be quiet about this, for both of our safety, but I think — I know I’m dealing with more than just memory loss here. I’ll try jumping through your portal and talking to your friend, but I really don’t think I’ll be able to understand —”

“Oh!” Kravitz gasped. “I think I know what you’re talking about — I ran into it with Angus earlier, and we should definitely have a way around it.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “My, uh, my new friend didn’t know if you could understand that there was a second Voidfish — but you heard that, right? It wasn’t garbled?”

Taako nodded frantically. “Yeah, and we’ve gotta get off the moon. If Lucretia finds out we know, I — I’ve got no idea how far she’ll go to keep this under wraps, and that’s the worst part. She’s already suspicious of me, and I —”

He felt a tug from his umbrella, and he cast Message as quickly and subtly as he could, hoping the Umbra Staff’s propensity to absorb magic like a sinkhole would somehow pull his unspoken words to Lup.

I’m not going to tell him about you. Not until I get more information.

Her reply must’ve hardly escaped from the umbrella, being little more than a distorted whisper — Be careful. Love you — but Taako’s legs almost gave out beneath him when he heard her voice, and Kravitz winced.

“We’ve really got to get you out of here, don’t we?” he murmured, taking Taako’s hand — and Kravitz’s skin was definitely warmer than usual, because of course this frankly adorable development would happen when Taako had a million other things on his mind. “You said the other boys will be back soon?”

“I hope.” Taako led the way into the living room, giving a wide berth to the remains of the coffee table. “I sent Angus to go find —”

On cue, the rattle of a doorknob and the sound of Angus’s voice rang out from the hallway. “Sir? We’re back! Could you unlock the door?”

The next sound was the telltale thump of a small child being affectionately shoved aside, followed by Magnus exclaiming: “Hey, I’ve got thieves’ tools now! Gimme a shot at picking it!”

Kravitz pursed his lips. “Don’t Magnus and Merle have their own keys?” he muttered under his breath.

“Of course they do,” Taako sighed, and the door swung open with a snap of his fingers and a Knock spell.

“Magnus, look!” Merle cheered. “You did it!”

While Magnus and Merle high-fived, Angus’s eyes lit up at the sight of Kravitz half-alive and well.

“You’re okay! I’m sorry I didn’t end up finding Noelle, but Taako said he was worried about you, so I started worrying too — did you have a nasty fight with a necromancer or something?”

“…Yes and no,” Kravitz responded after a moment of hesitation, “but I can explain that whole incident later. Right now, I need you all to come with me to —”

“A cool skeleton rave!” Taako butted in. “And… there’s also supposed to be skeleton dogs there! So you guys will definitely wanna get in on it!”

“Yes, exactly!” Kravitz corroborated without missing a beat. “It’s one of those, you know, very rare skeleton raves that receives the Raven Queen’s approval. Once in a century opportunity, so you won’t want to miss it!”

Magnus rubbed his chin. “I dunno about this. How do you pet a skeleton dog?”

“Only one way to find out!” Taako told him, then breathed a sigh of relief when it got an approving nod from Magnus.

“Fair enough! I’m sold!”

Angus narrowed his eyes, so Taako grinned and winked, hoping it came across as equal parts conspiratorial and don’t you dare blow this for me. It must’ve worked, because after a few seconds of surely intense mental calculations, Angus plastered on a convincing innocent smile and gave Taako a thumbs-up.

“Thanks for inviting me on this fun diversion, sir! I’m sure you could’ve come up with a more convincing lie if it was a trap or a prank, so I’m all in!”

Smiling awkwardly, Kravitz turned to the the lie’s final mark. “Merle, my bud, how about you?”

“Are we buds now?” Merle grinned. “You know what, sure! Anything for my bud!”

“Then away we go!” Kravitz tore open a rift and immediately stepped through, beckoning for the others to follow with the single arm that remained on their side of the portal. Magnus leapt through almost immediately, Merle hot on his heels, while Angus approached the rift more skeptically.

“Well, sir,” he announced softly once Magnus and Merle disappeared, “you and Kravitz owe me an explanation… but I trust the both of you.” He took Taako’s hand, and the two of them stepped through the portal together, emerging in a cold, dimly lit cave.

And Taako thought he’d been “moving fast” through a lot of things, lately — through worldview-shattering realizations, into a romantic relationship, into unofficially and semi-accidentally adopting a boy detective — but nothing could’ve prepared him for how fast everything moved in the next minute.

Kravitz faced Noelle and a now-familiar disembodied robe, very obviously struggling to suppress a mood-inappropriate laugh. “Can you believe I was planning to lie to Magnus about skeleton dogs, but then Taako interrupted and independently came up with the same fib?”

“That’s love, baby!” Taako exclaimed, in the moment before the absurdity of the situation dawned on him. “Wait. Why’s Barold here?”

As the rift fizzled and disappeared, Magnus drew Railsplitter, only to whirl around on himself with no idea who to aim at or threaten. “Hey, did we just get kidnapped? ‘Cause I’ve gotta say, this is the last combination of people in the world I expected to team up and kidnap us.”

“It’s not a kidnapping,” Kravitz began, “it’s just —”

“Did you kidnap a child, Kravitz?” Barry interrupted, gesturing at Angus. “When was that ever a part of the plan?! We didn’t need to involve —”

“With all due respect, Mister Bluejeans,” Angus butted in, “Kravitz didn’t technically kidnap me! I knew perfectly well that he was bullshitting, but I decided to come along with him anyway, out of my own free will!” He turned to face Kravitz, adjusting his glasses. “That said, he did deceive and therefore truly kidnap Magnus, Merle, and maybe even Taako by the sound of things — so if he could go ahead and explain his presumably very good reason for doing so, that would be just dandy!”

Barry sighed. “Real smartass kid you’ve dragged into the fate of the universe, huh, boys?”

“He was already involved enough in things that he deserves to know. We’re bringing him up to speed too,” Kravitz declared, and Barry shrugged.

“Alright, sure — but why the hell was there a child on the moon in the first place?!”

“He’s the world’s greatest detective,” Noelle spoke up, and Angus beamed. “I told you about him, remember? He’s the one who figured out that you were amnesiac when you were alive —”

“Oh, I do remember that, though I don’t remember you mentioning his age — so I guess it’s my bad, then, for assuming a secret lunar society would give a flying fuck about child labor laws!”

Kravitz ignored them both. “Merle, Magnus — I’m so sorry for the deception, and Taako, I’m sorry for not saying that Barry was my new contact. I didn’t want anyone eavesdropping on us on the moonbase, and I swear, I will explain myself as soon as I physically can —”

“Hey, hey, it’s cool!” Taako’s words were intended not just for Kravitz, but for Lup within the Umbra Staff, which had started trembling at the sound of Barry’s voice. “I would love an explanation, but I needed Barold’s help anyway, sooo… doesn’t this work out pretty great?”

“Needing Barry’s help is a new one, sir,” Angus commented, but no one in the room looked more incredulous than Kravitz and Barry themselves, who both froze in place.

“Um, that’s — that’s news to me too?” Barry stammered. “But if — if you don’t need any convincing, then…”

He floated a little taller, robe a little less ragged, voice a little more hopeful. “Let’s get you inoculated, bud.”

A glass vial appeared in Taako’s hand, and he sipped the dark liquid inside without a second thought, even though he gagged while passing the vial on to an apprehensive Magnus. No memories rushed back to him like he’d braced himself for, but he thought he felt the nature of his headache change — less like the roar of static, and more like the pressure on a dam about to burst.

“You should really sit down for this,” Barry told him, resting a cold hand on Taako’s shoulder. “Take it as slow as possible. You obviously figured out a lot, more than I thought you would, but you still won’t be ready for —”

“Relax, it hasn’t even hit me yet!” Taako interrupted. “So in the meantime, I can catch you up on this whole funny story about… my… umbrella…”

The metaphorical floodgates shattered, and the deluge of memories swept him off his feet.

Growing up bouncing between relative to relative, growing skilled as chefs and wizards on the road. The IPRE entrance exams, the best day ever, the Hanging Arcaneum, “back soon” —

His head burned as the static was expunged from his mind, displaced by visions of days and months and cycles that just kept hitting him. He was dimly aware of someone, two someones, clutching his arms and lowering him to his knees on the cool cave floor —

“Stay with us, Taako!” Kravitz pleaded, holding Taako’s left hand. “Listen to Barry —”

“I’ll walk you through everything,” Barry — the animal kingdom, learning to swim, “what if she’s just gone?” — promised from his right, clinging to the same arm with which Taako held the Umbra Staff. “Just don’t think ahead. I’ve been through this before, and I can get you through it now, as long as —”

“B-but — but Lup!” Taako cried. “How could I forget —”

“I know, bud,” Barry whispered. “I forgot too. I understand —”

“You fucking don’t understand!” Tears fell from his eyes, but his mouth twisted into a cautious, still half-disbelieving smile. “Barry, she’s right here!”

“What?!” The cave was plunged into red and black, blinding lights and impenetrable shadows, as the lich at its center seemed to fall apart and come together all at once. “WHERE?!”

Taako closed his eyes, and with a strength he didn’t know he had, snapped the Umbra Staff over his knee.

#taz #taz balance #taakitz #kravitz taz #taako taaco #barry bluejeans #lup taaco #angus mcdonald #taz balance spoilers #fic: ftrala #rosalia writes fic

[raineydaywrites]

working on from then til now (4/5)

link to part 1 (x), part 2 (x), part 3 (x), ao3 (x)

Taako couldn't explain how, but they got past it. Angus asked for more magic lessons, he hung around with Tres Horny Boys, and he put up with all of their dumb jokes until Taako stopped wanting to flinch every time they spoke.

Taako found himself growing extremely protective of the kid, much to his own dismay. He didn't want to care about this stupid kid. But he kind of already did. He'd cared about him before he'd learned what he'd done, and he'd felt- responsible for him afterward.

He loved this dumb brat, and it was terrifying, and it was amazing.

And then everything changed again.

The deaths at Glamour Springs- they hadn't been his fault at all. Not directly anyway. Not in the way he'd always thought they had been.

It had been Sazed- the fucker- jealous and bitter and taking it out on Taako and his audience.

Taako hadn't done anything wrong. Well, except for everything he did that convinced Sazed to hate him in the first place- but, but that wasn't the same. It wasn't his cooking. It wasn't his magic. It wasn't him.

It was just a dick who went way too far.

Taako wanted to be happy about that, but he couldn't quite bring himself to be. It didn't change anything that had happened, really. The only person that this knowledge benefited was himself, and, like, yeah, it was pretty great to know that he hadn't messed up in that particular way- but was it really all that much better? Still his fault. Still his food. Still his reputation ruined with no way to prove that he hadn't done it.

But he could tell Angus about it. And maybe the kid wouldn't feel so bad about him anymore.

Angus had been really torn up about befriending his parents' supposed killer, Taako knew. Kid was all about justice and fairness, so it was hardly a surprise. He had spent so long wanting to punish the killer, and then suddenly he was trusting him instead. Of course the kid was gonna feel weird about it.

Oh. Wait.

On the other hand, Angus wanted justice. He'd pushed that aside when he'd thought it was Taako, thought it was an accident.

How would he react to knowing that it had been murder after all? What would the kid do about it?

The thought of Angus running headlong after a murderer, especially while emotional and overwrought, sent a spike of fear through Taako's blood. Sazed was a slimy motherfucker that had always known how to act in his own self-interest- how to eliminate loose ends. Taako had appreciated it before, when he hadn't realized that the guy was willing to commit stone cold, premeditated murder. When those talents had been used to his advantage in running the show, and he'd thought Sazed wouldn't do anything worse than skirting some of the less convenient laws.

Sazed had poisoned the food Taako made for a crowd. He had wanted Taako to die in front of an audience, to die painfully and ruin his reputation in the process. Sazed had either not cared about or maybe even hoped for the deaths of the audience members as well. Sazed must have planned it out at least a few days in advance, if not longer, and he had spent that time calmly working with Taako while imagining his death.

Sazed had been the one to suggest running first. Taako knew that he probably would have come to the idea soon enough, but he'd been too frozen in shock in the moment to start moving. The fucker had seen his plan go awry and decided to make Taako look as guilty as possible before ditching him and stealing his shit.

He would have no qualms about killing a kid.

If Angus went after him, he'd be putting himself in danger.

And Angus would go after him. Taako knew him well enough by now to know that. You didn't become a renowned detective by the age of ten by holding back. The kid had no concept of his own limits and a years-long hope for justice.

Taako couldn't let that happen, but he didn't know how he was supposed to protect the kid either. He and the guys could go with him, Taako supposed, but that would still bring Angus into danger by the fact that he would be present with a murderer.

And Taako didn't know enough about Sazed or the situation the guy was currently in to be certain of the threat level. He was sure that he, Merle, and Magnus could take the guy if he was by himself, but what if he had allies? Who even knew where the guy was nowadays?

Taako was going to tell Angus. Of course he would tell Angus, the kid had a right to know.

But he needed to make a plan first. He needed to figure out how to keep Angus safe and still get the justice he so wanted.

-

Taako tried to make a few discreet inquiries, but 'discreet' wasn't exactly the best skill of THB. And Angus McDonald was a very good detective.

Taako was woken by an urgent eyed Davenport, and he immediately knew that something was wrong. He wasn't sure why exactly the worried look on the dude's face prompted an instinctive alarm, but he had learned to trust his instincts.

"What's happening?" he asked, even though he knew he wasn't going to get much of an answer out of the guy.

"Davenport!" was all the guy offered, his hands moving quickly, but Taako didn't understand enough sign language to actually get it.

He did notice the signs for "Director" and "Angus" though, and he was moving instantly.

"Lucretia in her office?" Taako questioned, only pausing long enough for Davenport to nod before he was pulling on his boots and grabbing the Umbra Staff.

As Taako left, he half-noticed Davenport going to Magnus' and Merle's rooms to wake them as well, but he didn't pay it any mind, moving out of the suite and towards the elevators with a single-minded determination.

By the time he got to the elevators, the other three had caught up with him, and Taako tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for Merle and Magnus to get in the damn elevator so they could get a move on.

He said nothing the whole trip to the Director's office, just knowing that something was wrong.

"Taako, there you are," the Director said, voice tight with worry when they got to her office. "When was the last time you spoke with Angus?"

"Yesterday? No, wait, day before," Taako said, stomach sinking with dread. "Why?"

"He left the base very early this morning, telling Avi that he had a family emergency to attend to. Avi had no reason not to believe him or to deny the request, so he sent Angus down planetside. But Angus left me this note-" the Director's voice cut off for a second, and Taako felt his dread increase. "He's in danger, isn't he?"

As the Director handed the note over for them to look at, Taako felt a strange, sickening sense of deja vu. Some part of his mind was screaming that everything was about to go wrong, but he didn't even know why.

The note was longer than Taako had expected, though he supposed it shouldn't be a surprise that the little nerd had babbled on.

Taako read the note as quickly as possible, cursing when he read Sazed's name.

"You two idiots can't keep your fucking mouths shut, huh?" Taako said, glaring between Merle and Magnus, refusing to admit to himself that if Angus had really been listening in for a while, he could have easily heard about it from Taako instead.

"Taako, please, not now," Lucretia said, glancing up from where she had her face buried in hands. She looked tired, and Taako thought about how much she seemed to like the kid and felt a stab of sympathy.

And she was right anyway. Snapping at his friends wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"Fine, whatever. We gotta find Ango," he said, hoping that Magnus and Merle would understand it as the apology it was meant to be. They seemed to.

"Do any of you know who this person is that he's looking for?" the Director asked. "I spoke with him a little while back and he said he was having a personal issue, but he didn't give much detail, and I didn't want to pry. Did he ever say anything to you three? I know he spends a lot of time with you."

Magnus and Merle glanced to Taako, clearly unsure how much he was comfortable revealing.

"Yeah. I know who he's looking for," Taako said. "Where'd Avi send him?"

"Wait- don't you have some way to track him through the bracers? They know where we are right?"

"They don't transmit constantly," the Director said, leaning her head forward in exasperation with herself. "I didn't want to be creepy, spying on my employees, you know?"

"Fuck," Taako said emphatically.

"It was a nice thought, though!" Magnus said, patting the Director on the back comfortingly.

"That could get invasive and weird, yeah, I suppose," Merle mused.

"Yeah, thanks for not being Fantasy Big Sister or whatever, but can we focus?" Taako said. "Where. Did. Avi. Send him?"

"Davenport!" Davenport exclaimed, spreading a map out on the Director's desk and gesturing to it, quickly marking where Avi must have put Angus down.

"Great. We're going," Taako said.

"I've had a team looking for Angus since I discovered that he was missing. They haven't turned up anything yet," Lucretia said. "I'm asking about this individual because I'm hoping that it may offer some insight to where he might be, or where Angus might seek him out."

"Team sweet flips?" Magnus questioned, a bit of excitement entering his voice.

"No, I'm afraid not. As impressive as they may be together, they're not our most- subtle team. I've sent a team of Seekers instead," the Director explained.

Taako stared down at the map, wracking his brain to figure out if he could remember anything useful. He hadn't paid much attention to Sazed, if he was being honest. He didn't know the guy enough to have a clue of where he might be.

But something familiar was whispering at the back of Taako's mind, and he focused, trying to pull it forward.

"There," Taako pointed to a small town a fair but walkable distance from where Avi had sent Angus. "That's Sazed's hometown. That's gotta be where Angus is looking."

The Director didn't question it, instead tapping at her Stone of Farspeech quickly.

"Maya? Have you and your team found anything of note in the town of- Wellspring? I have reason to believe Angus may have sought this individual there," she said.

A voice Taako was unfamiliar with came crackling back. "Yes, we have! I cannot confirm anything, but I'll send you the location information now."

Taako felt a tiny flash of relief, but didn't let it show. This wasn't over yet.

"Great, thank you," the Director said, and Taako saw the same wary hope on her face that he felt in himself.

"Normally, I would send Regulators for a task like this, but I know how much you three care for Angus, and so I ask if you-"

"Yes!" All three Reclaimers spoke before she could even finish speaking.

"Then I wish you good luck," the Director said, smiling softly at them. "Avi is waiting. I'll have Seeker Maya meet with you to explain the situation."

Taako was already leaving, barely taking the time to wave in acknowledgement as he stalked out of the office and toward the transport bay.

As they walked, no one said anything, too furious and worried to feel comfortable goofing too much. This was Angus who was in danger, after all.

The whole way there and into the glass cannon ball, Taako found one thought spiraling around in his head, over and over, somewhat nonsensical all things considered, but unshakeable regardless.

Hold on Angus. I can't lose you too.

part 5 (x)

#taz balance #taako taaco #angus mcdonald #febuwhump #febuwhumpday21 #taz lucretia #taz davenport #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #taako adventurezone #lucretia adventurezone #Davenport Adventurezone #my writing

[patriciasage]

because you are my heart

Author: Patricia_Sage

Fandom: The Adventure Zone - Balance

Summary:

Barry goes down to the lab every morning. One rainy day, about two and a half weeks from the initial implantation, he comes up the stairs with an excited expression on his round face. “I’ve got some news –”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish because Lup is already sprinting past him. They hear the sound of shattering glass. “It has a latch...” Barry mumbles, his head in his hands. They would have to go to the black markets to find another tube, now.

The footsteps on the stairs sound much more solid coming up than they had been running down. The door is kicked open and there’s Lup in her corporeal form.

posted in full under the break but you can find me on A03!!

Lup is incredibly impatient to get her body back. She rambles to Barry over their post-Hunger-battle celebratory dinner about how they could alter Taako’s DNA. But her boyfriend interrupts her, red-faced and mumbling something Taako can’t hear. He hears his sister’s reply, though.

“Babe, that is so creepy. I love you so much.”

Taako kicks her boot from across the table. “What?”

Her white-toothed grin glows from within the black, wispy shape of her face. “Barry saved a lock of my hair like an absolute weirdo.” Barry flushes with embarrassment as everyone turns to listen. “But you know what that means – mama’s gettin’ her body back!”

Magnus cheers from beside Taako, raising his glass of mead in a single-person toast. “How long will it take to grow?” the wizard asks.

Barry takes off his glasses and cleans them, something he does about ten times a day. “I’d say about a couple weeks.”

“Fuck yes!” the twins say in unison.

Magnus, being the rustically hospitable man that he is, allows them to use his basement as a science lab. He’s the only one besides Merle who has a house. Lucretia still lives on the moon; Davenport is traveling; and Taako has a small apartment in New Phandalin. Lup and Barry have a place in the Astral Plane, but they had a feeling Kravitz would lose his mind if they start growing a body in his neighbourhood. It’s already stressful enough for him to look the other way when they do necromancy shit here.

Lup and Barry need to be there to monitor the experiment but there’s no real reason for everyone else to stay. However, Magnus’s table is full of friends while Lup’s body grows in his basement. The kids are with Hecuba, so Merle invites himself over. Taako can’t bring himself to leave. Days turn into weeks; a few sleepovers turn into a strange vacation.

Kravitz visits often, gently convincing Taako to go out for a walk or an activity with him, but never pressuring him to go home to his apartment. He kisses the wizard goodnight on Magnus’s porch. “Keep me up to date on that thing I don’t know about,” he says, then disappears into the darkness with moonlight shining off of his skull.

“Bet your boyfriend has a bone to pick with me,” Lup winks when her brother enters the kitchen.

“Nah,” Taako replies, “he’s chill.” He grabs Magnus’s apron off of the hook next to the door. It’s warm yellow with strawberries embroidered on it. “I’m thinking dumplings tonight, what about you?”

Cooking together was what they always did. When things got tough, they lost themselves in a recipe and the warmth of each other’s company and forgot about the world. “Sure,” Lup replies. But things are different now. She can’t taste any of the food. Her hands are cold when he passes her a dish. Instead of filling the room with a comfortable fire, her physical presence is dark and damp. And Taako has trouble ignoring that, although he wouldn’t trade this time for anything.

Lup teases him about the garlic. They used to double the amount in any recipe that called for it. In retrospect, Taako thinks maybe a hidden part of his mind created thirty garlic clove chicken because of this. But he uses barely any now. The smell of it brings him back to the sound of choking, the sight of dropping bodies, and panic flooding his veins.

He tells her this. She knew about Glamour Springs, of course, but she didn’t know about the recipe. “Shit, Taako, I’m sorry, babe.” She hugs him and he appreciates the gesture, but she’s cold and weird and not quite solid. He pulls away.

“Taako’s good, don’t you worry, sis.”

They cook, the boys eat, and days pass sluggishly. It’s kind of nice being together like this, and everyone knows that Magnus loves a house with a crowded table. Taako teaches him how to make churros. Merle teaches Barry how to garden. And Lup watches, wringing her shadowy hands together and wishing she could fully join them. Sometimes Taako hears a noise from the basement, but it’s only Lup – pressing her hands to the tube and shouting at her body to “hurry the fuck up!”

Barry goes down to the lab every morning. One rainy day, about two and a half weeks from the initial implantation, he comes up the stairs with an excited expression on his round face. “I’ve got some news –”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish because Lup is already sprinting past him. They hear the sound of shattering glass. “It has a latch...” Barry mumbles, his head in his hands. They would have to go to the black markets to find another tube, now.

Taako watches Barry closely, looking for any sign of stress. Besides the general air of exasperation he always has, he seems relatively calm. Taako tries to take some deep breaths in the silence. This feels exactly like when he was standing on the deck of the Starblaster, watching Lup and Barry rise up from their bodies in their lich forms for the first time. Anxiety squeezes his heart with an icy hand.

The footsteps on the stairs sound much more solid coming up than they had been running down. The door is kicked open and there’s Lup in her corporeal form. She’s dressed in the clothing Taako had bought for her – a black crop top with a pair of skeleton hands over the breasts and a pair of leggings covered in rhinestones. She’s smiling wider than she has in weeks. Taako thinks about Lup in her lich form, how he could recognize his sister in the shape of her ears and the way that she moved. But looking at her now – the softness of her shoulder-length hair; her dark, freckled cheeks; the angle of her nose – he’s overwhelmed.

Taako isn’t even aware that he’s crying until he realizes he can’t see. Lup crashes into him like a tidal wave on the beach planet. She holds him close and he presses his face into her shoulder. She smells a bit like Barry’s lab, but also achingly familiar and so very real. She no longer feels cold and misty; she’s warm and strong and alive. There’s something about it that slots everything into place for Taako and suddenly he’s consolidating everything in a way he hasn’t been able to before. He grips the back of her shirt tightly and cries for the ten years she was trapped and alone, for the years he lived wandering and scared, searching for something that felt like home.

When he pulls back, Lup is sniffling too. Taako wipes her tears away and then just holds her face in his hands, squishing her a little like he used to when they were young and she needed cheering up. They’re exactly the same height now that she’s not floating a foot off the ground anymore. She laughs. Her eyes are shining.

“I missed you, Lulu,” Taako says.

“I never left you.”

“I know.”

The others can’t seem to hold back anymore, and they join the twins, invading the bubble of space they had given them. Taako feels Merle hug him at the hip and he feels Magnus’s big hand on his back. Barry presses his face into Lup’s hair. He’s also crying. Lup gives him a big, wet kiss. “Gross,” Taako protests half-heartedly.

Of course, Magnus is crying too. Even Merle wipes his eyes when he thinks no one is looking. It’s squishy and messy and way more emotional than Taako would usually be comfortable with. But he just looks into his sister’s eyes (a honey brown, no longer glowing red) and lets himself feel safe and warm.

They clean up a bit and sit down in the living room with a fresh pot of coffee. Merle makes a group call on his Stone of Farspeech to the entire I.P.R.E. crew. His voice echoes from the foyer where everyone else hung up their coats. Taako takes his Stone out of his pocket and calls Kravitz.

Lucretia takes a canon down from the moon base immediately, and everyone is delighted and surprised to see Davenport with her as well. He had just returned from a trip and had been visiting Lucretia when they got the call.

Kravitz arrives soon after. He’s initially very concerned at the sight of everyone’s tear-stained faces, but then he notices Lup’s corporeal form and his face softens into happiness. “You look wonderful,” he tells her.

She shoots finger guns at him. "You're just saying that 'cause I'm his twin." He laughs easily, as he always does.

Taako leaves to make a new pot of coffee and his boyfriend follows him into the kitchen, enveloping him in a cold but comforting hug. Taako presses his face into Kravitz’s neck and tentatively acknowledges that this is the happiest he’s ever been.

A rainy Thursday morning turns into a celebration full of tears, hugs, and reminiscing. Taako and Lup cook supper together and she takes charge this time, very excited to be able to eat again. They make arroz con pollo, their aunt’s recipe, and this time the smell of garlic and chicken summons fond childhood memories alone.

They’re back – Taako and Lup, Lup and Taako.

He’s whole again.

#taz balance spoilers #taz #the adventure zone #taz balance #the adventure zone balance #taz fanfic #taz balance fanfic #the adventure zone fanfic #taako #lup #taz taako #taz lup #taaco twins #taako & lup #lup & taako #barry bluejeans #taz barry #taz barry bluejeans #blupjeans #lup/barry bluejeans #taakitz #taako/kravitz #taz magnus #magnus burnsides #taz merle #merle highchurch #davenport #taz davenport #lucretia #taz lucretia

[rose-verte]

TAZ Balance headcanons that will probably never make it into the fics I am writing:

Taako and Lup, like all D&D elves, don't need to sleep but developed the habit out of spite during the Stolen Century because they were sick of their availability for night shifts being taken for granted. Taako took to it more readily than Lup did but still only clocks about an hour and half a night at best.

Pretty early in their relationship, Kravitz tells Taako that he experiences little to no human desires in his skeletal form (which include food, drink, sleep, and sex) which is why he's mostly skeletal in the astral plane (nothing grows there) but that because of that he really prefers to spend his time in the material plane as human so he can say, grab himself a sandwich after a particularly tiring bounty and Taako, not acknowledging that this may have been intended to start a discussion about their sexual relationship immediately demands an intemized list of places where he has bought cheap sandwiches to go so he can evaluate their appropriateness as a placeholder for all food and subsequently begins periodically sneaking cookies he bakes into Kravitz's robes wrapped in old headshots of his (which Kravitz finds unbelievably cute).

Because of being in human form, Kravitz usually sleeps a good 6-8 hours a night if he's with Taako and Taako usually crawls into bed with him. Though he's sometimes up before him making breakfast, Kravitz was under the impression that they had relatively similar sleep requirements and begins referring to him, affectionately as a "very sleepy elf". He says this a couple of times in Lup's presence and then one time she's like "Has he made it more than 2 hours yet because I think I owe him ten gold?" And Kravitz is like "what are you talking about? Taako gets tired at like 11 and sleeps like the whole night I think?" And Lup is like "holy shit hold on, Barry, oh my fantasy God, you need to get out your stone of farspeech and tell everyone my brother has been lying fucking still for like 8 hours a night because he's a fucking cuddlesl*t!"

#taz spoilers #taz balance spoilers #taz #taz taako #taako #taz lup #taz kravitz #the adventure zone #taakitz

[its-a-nickname]

ok look magnus “dying” in wonderland effected carey a lot more than she let on

even after story and song she would get nightmares about the moment when taako and merle came back without magnus she would get crushed under the feeling of losing her best friend all over again

sometimes the dreams would get real bad and both magnus and killian didnt come back from a mission and she would wake up in a panic, tears rolling down her face and killian would have to hold her and assure her that theyre alive, everyone is fine and shes safe

one time killian takes a job on her own and doesnt come back when she was supposed to. a week passes and for that week carey doesnt sleep, it takes everyone in her life to convince her not to go looking for killian bc shes probably fine. when killian does comes back, shes a little bloodied has a broken arm and carey freaks the flip out and does, not, leave, her, side while shes recovering.

sometimes just the image of seeing taako and merle without magnus, even in a casual setting, makes her anxious. sometimes magnus doesnt answer his stone of farspeech for whatever not life threatening reason and her mind races with the worst possible reasons as to why not

just. idk thinking your friend has died hurts and she doesnt ever heal from that completely i dont think

#taz balance spoilers #taz balance #the adventure zone #its sad balance hoursssss #thinkin bout thems fuckin uhhhh angst #ss

[ceilingfan5]

may i offer you a prompt: davenport telling kravitz stories of taakos stolen century shenanigans. taako would like to leave this family, thanks, d a d n p o r t, for bring up the time he got stuck in between two rocks for three days and magnus was laughing too hard to help,

“So that was cycle 33. And then, hold on, let me message Lucretia for pictures, she’ll want to get in on this-” Davenport gets out his stone of farspeech and Taako tries to knock it out of his hands. Davenport dodges and hides behind Kravitz, who is stifling giggles and trying not to further antagonize Taako. 

“Noooo!” Taako howls. “I can’t believe you told the rock story! That’s bullshit, Dav! You can’t do that to me, your favorite!”

“It was a good story,” Kravitz says, at the same time Davenport says, “Taako, I hate to break this to you, but you are not my favorite.”

Taako howls with fury and stamps his foot. 

“This is illegal! I’m suing for reparations for my mental anguish!”

“You wouldn’t win in any court of law,” Davenport says, casual as can be. “I’m my own lawyer.”

“Maybe you could go back,” Kravitz says. “How did Taako get free of the rocks?”

“Oh, he wasn’t that stuck. He just didn’t want to go through the effort of crawling out. In the end, Lup had to threaten him with burning his clothes.”

“Oh my god,” Kravitz says, struggling with containing his laughter. 

“This is PRIVATE INFORMATION! I burned that part of Lucy’s journal myself! You cannot out me like this!” 

“Just wait until I tell you about Candlenights on cycle 44-”

Taako screams and leaves the room. Davenport snickers. Kravitz lets loose enough laughter he was afraid he was going to burst a blood vessel keeping it in. He doubles over and wipes at his eyes, nearly crying. 

“Oh, my.” He shakes his head and chuckles. “You all know so much about each other,” he says. “It’s like you’re a family.”

“Exactly like it, son,” Davenport says, his mustache barely hiding a smile. “And someone needs to razz Taako once in a while to remind him that he’s loved.”

“Aw,” Kravitz says. 

“Call me adorable and I’ll go for your kneecaps,” Davenport adds, in the calmest, plainest tone he can muster. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

#taakitz #taz #tazb #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #fan5fics #guess who doesnt write dav much oops

[luobingmeis]

Taakitz #21

21) collapse

Taako had been having a three-way call on his stone of farspeech with Magnus and Merle when he heard the front door open and click shut, followed by the sound of shoes being kicked off and feet dragging themselves across a wooden floor. His ears twitched at the sound of something hitting the couch and, leaning backwards on the counter stool, he raised an eyebrow at Kravitz, who seemed to be collapsed on the couch with his suit jacket tossed haphazardly over the back.

(For just a moment, his heart kicked into overdrive. No blood. No bruises. Slightly wrinked, but seemingly unhurt. Kravitz’s back rose and fell with slow breaths, but they seemed ones of exhaustion rather than pained effort. He was okay, and the moment passed.)

“Babe?” he called into the livingroom, moving his stone of farspeech slightly away from his mouth. “You okay?”

“M’fine,” Kravitz, his face half-smushed into a pillow, mumbled out.

(“I’m fine?” Magnus, on the other line, said, though Taako was barely paying attention.

“I don’t think he’s talking to you, big guy,” Merle responded instead, laughing.)

Taako, still studying Kravitz with an arched eyebrow, brought the stone back to his face. “Alright, my dudes, boyfriend duty calls,” he said. “We all still on for Sunday?”

“Yeah,” Magnus said. “I’ll be bringing the alcohol.”

“And I’ll be bringing my sparkling personality.” Taako could just imagine Merle winking at that, and he rolled his eyes.

“You’re lucky I’m letting you into my lovely home,” Taako quipped, though his voice held little malice. He then clicked off his stone and, immediately, he pushed himself back and headed into the living room.

Kravitz, half-asleep, cracked a red eye open and looked up at Taako. “Hey there.”

Taako, unable to hold back a smile (like he would even want to), looked down at him. “Long day?”

“The longest.”

Taako, finding space on the edge of the couch, sat down and, gently, ran a hand through Kravitz’s dreads, brushing them back and out of his face. “What? Barry and Lup no help?”

“We were split up.” Kravitz lifted his head up off the pillow, making his voice just a bit more comprehendable, though it was still dripping with exhaustion. “Lot of necromancers out in the world.”

“Well, luckily RQ has the best reapers out there.” Taako then smirked, tracing his thumb along Kravitz’s cheekbone. “And I guess you’re good, too.”

Kravitz slid a glare towards Taako, though the quirk of his lips didn’t go unnoticed. “You know, I technically saved your life in Miller’s lab. You should be nice to me.”

“Technically saved my life after almost killing me, if I remember correctly.”

“Semantics.” Kravitz rested his head back down, shutting his eyes again.

Taako huffed out a laugh and leaned down to kiss Kravitz’s temple. “Well, you know what I think would be nice?”

“What?”

“Taking a nap in our very comfortable bed instead of collapsed on this couch that you’re too tall for.” Taako shot a glance to Kravitz’s feet hanging over the arm of the couch.

Kravitz, even with eyes closed, managed to find Taako’s hand in his own. “But I want to spend time with you. It’s what I was looking forward to.”

Taako’s face flushed so much that, if Lup was there, she definitely would have wrecked him. Jeffandrew, he’s gone soft.

Not that he minded.

“I can’t believe I’m in love with such a sap.”

Kravitz smirked. “Takes one to know one.”

Taako scoffed and rolled his eyes, but didn’t deny it. “Hush, I have a brand to maintain.”

“Well, fortunately for us-” Kravitz squeezed his hand “-It’s just the two of us here.”

... Fuck, he’s really gone soft.

But he really didn’t mind.

“Alright, well,” Taako said, standing up. “How about you go get changed, then, and I’ll open us up a bottle of wine? Seems like you need it.”

“Yes, very much so,” Kravitz said and, after seeming to muster all his effort, pushed himself up. He looked up at Taako and, sleepily, smiled.

“Hey there, handsome.” He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to Kravitz’s lips.

“Hey,” Kravitz murmured, smiling into the kiss.

“Come on, go get changed,” Taako eventually said, pulling away because, while he’d love to spend some quality alone time with his boyfriend, he also had wine to open and a long day to hear about. “The faster you go, the faster we get to the wine.”

Kravitz considered for a moment before nodding. “You do make a good point.” And, with that, he practically rolled himself off the couch before straightening up, stretching upwards as his spine cracked into place.

It was when Kravitz was walking up the stairs that he looked back at Taako over his shoulder, eyes tired but soft. “By the way,” he said, “I’m very happy to see you. And I love you.”

Taako smiled up at him. His heart felt like it was soaring, and that was still something new and wonderful that he was getting used to. “Love you, too, Krav.”

#i couldve done angst but ive been feeling so soft lately omg #taakitz #taz balance #taako #kravitz #stuff i write #answered #Anonymous

[lillianabluejeans]

Lilliana Bluejeans is a badass. She’s a skilled ranger with flawless aim, she dabbles in wizard magic, bard magic, and melee fighting. 

She’s also out of spell slots. She’s down both her party members and most of her hit points. She’s got no arrows left in her quiver, her sword was torn from her hand and tossed across the room, and, again, she’s out of spell slots, so her wand is useless. 

She is, as some would say, fucked. 

~

Lilliana gets thrown violently against a wall by a wave of force. Her assailants, three warlocks, power-drunk from their freshly-made, high-level pact, laugh as she crumples to the ground. She struggles, pushing herself up to sit and lean against the wall. She blinks the spots from her vision, willing herself to stay conscious. 

She can’t win this one, and that scares her. She’s been in scrapes before, but she’s always known she could win. Her opponents have always been just as messed up as her, and she knew she had a chance. This is different. She’s hurt, badly. One more hit and she’s a goner, unconscious with no one else to fight for her. 

The warlocks know it too, and they aren’t even close to dead. They’d taken out those two mercenaries she’d run into in no time at all, and have spent the last however-long just hacking away at her, wearing her down until she couldn’t fight back anymore.

Lilliana leans heavily against the wall behind her, trying to catch her breath. The warlocks chatter excitedly, trying to decide amongst themselves the best spell to use to finish her off.  

As they’re distracted, Lilliana slips her hand into her bag, rifling around blindly, keeping her eyes on the warlocks, until she feels her stone of farspeech. She pulls it out, and calls her most recent contact.

“Hello?”

“I need backup,” she whispers. 

“What?” 

“I need-”

“Hey!” One of the warlocks shouts, and Lilliana’s stone falls from her hand as magic lifts her off the ground and shoves her up against the wall. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

“Kravitz!” Lilliana screams, loud enough for the stone on the ground to hear, “Kravitz I need backup! I need help! I-” 

Lilliana’s cut off as the magic holding her squeezes around her neck. The warlock controlling it laughs and approaches her as she struggles weakly against his hold. 

“You think there’s time for your backup to get here? We’ve got you beat. We take one more shot at you, and you’re done.” He grins wickedly, and the magic choking her tightens. “You know boys,” he says to his compatriots, “I wonder how long a half-elf can hold their breath.” 

Lilliana’s chest burns, and spots dot her vision. She tries to grab hold of the magic around her neck, to lessen the pressure that’s cutting her airway off, but her hands grasp at nothing. She’s losing her grip on her consciousness when, suddenly, she’s dropped back to the ground. 

She gasps at the release of pressure from her neck. She breathes deeply, her consciousness no longer slipping away. Then she looks up and sees, floating between her and the warlocks, its back to her, a figure in a black robe with a scythe held in its skeletal hand. 

“What the fuck?” The warlock that had been holding her says. “Who-” 

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as Kravitz swings his scythe, tearing out the warlock’s soul, his body dropping unceremoniously to the floor. The other two warlocks cry out in protest. They throw spells at Kravitz, but they fizzle and die without affecting him at all. 

“Who are you?!” One of the remaining warlocks cries. “What do you want with us?” 

Kravitz doesn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. He swings his scythe again, and the second warlock falls. 

The third warlock is backed fully against the wall opposite the one Lilliana is sitting against. He looks up at Kravitz as he looms over him. 

“Please,” the warlock begs, “have mercy. I’ll do anything. Wh- what do you want? Money? Power?” 

Kravitz’s grip tightens around his scythe as he raises it. The warlock’s mouth opens in a scream, but he’s dead before the sound can leave him.

Lilliana’s head is pounding and her heart is racing as she watches this, as the body of each warlock falls to the ground with a dull thud. 

She’s seen Kravitz fight before. She knows his moves. He never swings first. He always has a snarky response to the inevitable “Who are you? What do you want?” questions. When his targets start bargaining, Kravitz always gets something out of it. “No use saying no to free stuff,” he would say. 

But here… Kravitz swung first. He didn’t talk, didn’t let them bargain at all. He showed up, and he killed them. End of story.  

Lilliana realizes that when she’s seen Kravitz fight, he’s been holding back. He gives his targets a chance. A chance to repent or fight or come peacefully. He plays games with them. He makes deals and takes bribes, yet he could kill any of them in half a second if he chose to. 

Sure, she expected him to come and kill the warlocks, but he was ruthless and brutal about it, a Reaper in a way that Lilliana’s never seen before.

Kravitz turns to look at her after killing the third warlock, the eyes of his skeletal form burning with fury, and Lilliana’s scared. 

#taz kravitz #kravitz adventurezone #blupjeans baby #blupjeans #taz fic #chaotic uncle kravitz #lilliana bluejeans #i was going to write more of this #there is a resolution to it i just couldn't write it dksafjl;ds #at least not yet #i got stuck on the resolution #kravitz is super fucking old and super fucking powerful yall and i think we forget that some times #my writing

[daily-davenport]

Happy Halloween! Today’s Davenport has some a neat factoid - when giving treats to predators in captivity, normally you wanna make them work for it. Ergo, Mermaids won’t say “Trick or treat!”, they’d say “Trick and Treat!”

[image description: three images! The first is a comic page with four panels of Davenport filleting a fish, dicing it up, wrapping it in seaweed and then placing the wrapped fish in a full bowl of raw fish and heads. There is a large panel of Davenport cleaning his knife as the stone of farspeech next to him is on. Someone (Taako) is yelling, “I can’t believe you bailed on our party to go sit in your boat doing nothing!” Davenport replies, “I’m doing something” but glances to the side as a knocking is heard. He says, “One moment.” The second page shows Davenport going out onto the dark deck and follows the knocking over the edge of the ship. He’s holding the bowl as he looks down into the dark water with ominious shapes and lights barely visible. There is a splash of water as we see over Dav’s shoulder to where two mermaids and a seal have burst out shouting, “Trick or Treat!!” One mermaid is an anglerfish with a red robe thrown over their shoulder while the other has face fins, a yellow eye and a witch’s hat. THe last image is the three swimming away comparing the treats they got from Cap’nport. The witch holds up hers and says, “I got tuna!” The selkie has adjusted her coat and says, “I got squid!” and the footballer grins delightfully and hollers, “I got a fish head!!”]

#daily davenport #davenport taz #thezonecast #taz balance #accessible fanart #mermaids I suppose #Footballer worked very hard on their outfit and they're dressed like Barry but it's hard to get ocean jeans #the bones were easy to get though #311 #mod podge