#holy cow i never knew i was that much of factor

[eightysixed]

snapped

It was lunch break when he got the notification, at first going unnoticed because he was sitting outside with Duncan and Krista in their usual spot. The sun beat down on the three of them as they ate the wraps Krista got for them from the 7-Eleven, that and the lemonade. He tuned out of the conversation at hand, some plans Kirsta was making for Bonnaroo or something, to check on his phone.

[ 1! new snapchat ]

As he unlocked  his phone, he shielded it in view from the other two. Being a snap from Gaby, he was probably wise to do that. But it was unlike their usual snaps. Sat in the backseat of a car, she was strapped in next to two other girls. The bar caption underneath it: road trip with the bestiesss.

Confusion was the first emotion, wondering if she’d sent it to him by accident. It was set as her story too, once he pulled out of their chat and noticed as much. He contemplated not answering anything at all, but that would be rude. Then again, she had been rude. Torn this way for a couple of seconds, he settled for sending a chat her way instead.

tyson hey gaby🍒 haha hiiii tyson what up gaby🍒 not much u? tyson work lol gaby🍒 oh right haha tyson yeah

It was fucking weird, this. He wanted to say as much. But what else could he really say that hadn’t already been said? There was nothing else. Months ago, she told him to meet at Carousel. It started out friendly with drinks, and then turned ugly. A perfect storm of the worst proportions, him telling her that he was basically seeing someone now and her saying that she wanted more than 3am booty calls and nothing else. She presented her case, how she thought they really could be something, if he only gave them a chance — hell, he was almost convinced for a second. But no more than that second. He stuck to it, she got upset, she stormed out. Now, he just wanted to ask her what the fuck all this was, but how to do that without coming off hostile? A task.

gaby🍒 just saying hiii is all tyson kinda weird but cool lol gaby🍒 what i can’t say i miss u? damn :( tyson kinda weird after how u left yeah but nah it’s cool ig gaby🍒 i was jk chill 😛

Tyson wondered if he read that right. Why were girls like this, he wondered. You could never get anywhere half the time with them because you never knew what the fuck they meant. Life would be so much better if they just said what they thought and meant it, but of course, that’s not how things went in life. It never went like that in life. Playing games, they all liked to play games. 

He left Gaby on read and pulled out to the main screen of his snapchat (handle: bonghitter). Unopened items there were plenty, a video, and messages from two other girls. For a brief second, he contemplated deleting the app entirely, before that notion slipped from his mind again with Duncan grabbing his attention. He put his phone away and went back to lunch.

***

Later that night, somewhere in between hallucinating an earthquake in his and Tierney’s living room (he was completely sober, so that wasn’t a factor), and picking up an unidentified number that didn’t answer down the other line, Tyson found his evening going funny. Almost like he’d stepped into an alternate dimension. He wasn’t on any of Sulley’s edibles though, so what was going on? Maybe this was that psychosis that was setting in that Jude had warned him about (though he can’t remember why Jude had told him it would, they hadn’t been sober then). If it wasn’t an earthquake that had shaken the floor just now, what could it be? Did some fatty whale of a person fall directly outside their door, making the ground shake? A possibility. Oasis’ infrastructure wasn’t the strongest.

Then he got a new snapchat notification. 

From her. Again.

He braced himself for the worst, opening it, and surely, there it was. A half-clad Gaby in mirror view, the usual ‘hey’ postscripted by that unholy black bar that was strategically covering up places that normally, he’d want uncovered. It was clearly some hotel or motel room, and he could probably guess the next that would follow, if encouraged. But all he felt was a faint wave of disappointment. Nothing else. Old Tyson would’ve sent her a ‘where’s the rest’ message, no questions asked, but not this one. He was angry and not sure how well he downplayed it, maybe not well at all.

tyson ?? gaby🍒 what? haha tyson why u actin like this gaby🍒 like what?

Tyson mumbled an expletive under his breath. He was an argumentative person, sure, he loved to debate, talk until the cows come home about the right subject. But this was his least favourite type of confrontation, and he’d rather be doing anything but this, literally anything.

tyson you were the one who said okay we’re done u stormed out the bar u did that remember? lol gaby🍒 ohhhhh that look i wasn’t in a good place then okay? i’m sorry :(

Tyson said nothing, a sigh escaping his lips. Starting to get angry now and not even sure why. He’d always had it good with this girl, but outside of whatever they did in bed (or on a couch, or in the shower), there was nothing. And he wasn’t exactly interested in anything she had to offer right now. Or anytime in the future. It was borderline ridiculous to think or believe, and Dom would probably ask him if he was okay and not sick, but there it was. He thought of the right thing to respond, but before he even could, she sent through something else. A Bitmoji. Hers hugging his. 

tyson okay apology accepted but nothing’s changed with me meant what i said then still stands now gaby🍒 you’re still seeing someone? tyson yea gaby🍒 oh okay just thought something changed my friend saw u tyson where? gaby🍒 at santa monica on the pier u were with some girl tyson jfc that’s my best friend’s babymama she came w/her kid to see him gabriela i’m tired i’m seeing someone rly can’t do this gaby🍒 okay tyson have a good night

The last reply back took the longest time coming through, but when it finally did, there was no more. Relief. Was he off the hook? Was this it? He waited for more to come, but it didn’t. Maybe he was off the hook. Maybe she’d come around again in 3 months. Or 6 months. Or a year, who knows. Maybe she’d find someone and stop snapping him. He hoped she would. As he was thinking these things, maybe five maybe ten minutes having passed, he got a new notification. 

gaby🍒 my friends say you suck btw tyson LOL okay

Now this was funny. Though still a little infuriating, he thought as his brows pulled together in both confusion and dismay. Girls, when would they learn that no meant no? He was about to all but toss his phone aside, leave it on the bed to go back into the living room, when one more came in. 

gaby🍒 sorry im a lil drunk...

Now that he would leave on read, and hopefully there would be no more, and that would be the end of that. She really wasn’t a bad person, Gabriela, deep down he liked her. As a person. But it ended there. He was about to go through with his toss-the-phone plan and shuffle into the kitchen to see if a bag of takeout had magically materialized on the counter, be done with this chapter for good, when he got a new notification. With dread he glanced to the top of the screen, but a smile picked up on the corners of his lips when he saw who it was from.

Jude: holy shit dude you need to check this out… [ http://absoluteepicpranks.com/monkey-flaming-motorcycle.htm ]

#self para #self para: tyson #this is the dumpsterfire that happens when a plot comes to u half asleep in the dead of night #and u don't write it down and proceed to forget 85% of it #and then attempt to reconstruct it #v: silverlake

[yoongisbars]

Samusil | myg | P R O L O G U E

summary: It was always known that you were the family disappointment. So naturally, you fled. With a looming school debt, alcoholic tendencies, and no luck whatsoever in keeping a job for more than a month, you were at your wits end until you finally cave into working at Bang-Lenzo. You’ve only ever heard horrors of the place and its manager. But maybe, just maybe, that office would become your safe haven.

pairing: myg x reader genre: strangers to lovers au | office!yoongi au | future angst? fluff?  word count: 7.5k tw: alcohol as coping mechanism, subjects that might hit close to home note:  inspired by The Office US, this is only a teaser, a taste, of a project im working on, i wont release anything besides this until its ready, so pls endure !! <3

        Life was a bitch to everyone, and ever since you flunked out of Business School, it’s proven you weren’t the exception. It was an already supersaturated field with bright minded, innovative entrepreneurs. And you? Realized halfway through that the business world wasn’t cut out for you. With an overwhelmingly expensive college debt for an unfinished degree that your parents refused to pay for, you became the official family disappointment. After two years of being done with their bullshit, you finally packed your stuff and moved as far away as possible, hoping to start anew in the small town of rural Yangpiji.

        Just because you had some level of education, didn’t mean it would get you quite far. It’s done the opposite, in fact. Jobs with higher wages frowned upon your incomplete studies, and jobs that didn’t give a fuck if you finished high school, didn’t pay enough to deal with their idiocies or take care of the bills for that matter. One heated argument with the owner of the last food joint you worked at was the final straw. Throwing your dirty apron at his face, you walked out of there without a single care in the world, and for the moment, you felt powerful. At least until you waltzed into Slack Jack’s and sat at the bar that night, head buried into your palms.

“Rough shift?” Your eyes peered from behind your fingers, focusing on a shot being placed in front of you. And boy, were you thankful for it. Without speaking, you threw that shit back and let it burn your throat, the only consolation for the situation you were in. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Jackson, I quit.” Feigned shock played on the bartender’s face as he cleaned a beer mug. You weren’t the only one who searched for new beginnings in Yangpiji. In front of you was Jackson Wang, owner and proprietor of Slack Jack’s. He had moved there from abroad no more than ten years ago in hopes to reinvent himself, and against all odds did. He had been your close friend for the past three years since moving. Quite frankly the only good thing this area had to offer was Jackson and his cheap drinks that get you hammered quick.

“Really? I wouldn’t have thought!” His hand shot up to cover his mouth, chuckling at your bland reaction. Rolling your eyes so far into your skull, a heavy sigh escaped from within.

“I’m serious. I quit. I quit work, I quit life, I quit Yangpiji- I’m tired… I hate that I’m a jobless 28-year-old drunk, with nothing to offer this world besides how to survive on garlic noodles and rum.” Your hands traveled the air around you as you searched for words, “I can’t even afford to make them Jjajang Noodles, Jack. JJAJANG!” A small shriek spewed out as you downed another shot, you stopped counting after the third one. Dread and sorrow pooled around you in a matter of seconds. You were at your wits end. And you couldn’t say you were past your peak, since frankly you never took off the ground to begin with. “I’m a failure, Jackson.”

        Widened eyes traveled the room trying to find any words of consolation, but the bartender couldn’t find anything other than pity. His hands moved quickly, putting away the bottles before he was tempted to offer you anymore. He usually served you on the house because he knew of your struggles, but you also drank your weight in alcohol, and he didn’t want to go broke any time soon.

“Listen, chief. There’s still an option…” Oh no… You didn’t want to hear it; already knowing what was coming. “The Bang-Lenzo Yangpiji Branch is still hiring for a secretary; you should test it out.”

        Ah, yes. Bang-Lenzo Inc. Somehow a successful company in the dying paper industry. One of the first to drop their deforestation contracts for their supplies and switch entirely to recycled paper. Since most companies didn’t believe in the Save The Trees movement, most of their major clients dropped them and signed contracts with Bang-Lenzo instead. Working for them would be an achievement… If only the branch in your city wasn’t a nut house.

“Jackson…” Elongating the last syllable, you groaned. “I’ve heard horror stories of people that have tried to work there, it’s chaos. No one ever lasts a full week…” The idea of even bothering to work there was dreadful. The workers there were a nightmare, so you’ve heard. But their manager? A complete lunatic. Unprofessional, immature, inappropriate, and other negative connotations have been used to describe the young manager, Jeon Jungkook. Rumor had it he was the top salesman for 4 years straight before the old manager died. When the company crunched the numbers and stats, he was technically the most qualified for the manager position and had managed to keep it for the past 5 years.

        Amidst your internal struggle, Jackson raised an eyebrow and cut you straight. “It pays $15 an hour, plus benefits.” On instinct your hand shot up, doing quick maths in the air. Holy cow. You shifted your attention to Jackson so fast you almost snapped your neck.

“That’s almost $30k a year!”

“More than you’ll ever make busing tables, that’s for sure.” He had a point. And, you were desperate. Maybe not so much at first, but $15 is $15 and if it meant sacrificing your sanity for survival, well damn it, you were down for the count.

“Guess I’m speaking to Jeon…”

        On Jackson’s commands and with a set of instructions, you left the bar early. ‘Prep for tomorrow, rest and sober up.’ Three things that you were never quite well doing at the very last minute. Bits and pieces of information were fed to you, in order to try and snatch the job at its core.

‘From what I’ve heard, he likes to go in on Saturday mornings to catch up on some work.’ All that meant was that you had to wake up early, and your suspected hangover did not like that. You did what any ‘sane’ person would do and popped in a pain killer and a nausea reliever, an old family remedy to wake up fresh and ready.

‘At the breakfast buffet two blocks over, I once saw him obliterate the cheddar biscuits… And I think he has a thing for sausages too.’ Really, it seemed like Jackson knew Jungkook too well, but honestly so did the town through word of mouth. That last bit of information is what made you scour the nearest convenience store for the necessary ingredients to make the piece of resistance, the key to securing your assets. With this bread you were going to get your bread.

---

        Morning came quickly, as you had gone to bed late baking and sorting out your clothes for the day. Sporting one of your finer ensembles just to make a statement, you were ready to take life by the throat. A dark gray, tight pencil skirt above the knee, a light beige button up blouse with pearled buttons, and a blazer to match the skirt. You applied a fair amount of neutral colored makeup in order to rejuvenate your features to not look like you’ve been miserable for the past 10 years. You finished off the look by slipping on some classic, black Mary Jane’s.

        For the first time since inheriting this 1999 Verna, you were glad the aircon was a hunk of junk and only blew hot steam. Of course you drove with the windows down to receive actual fresh air, but you angled the conductors towards the biscuits, keeping them toasty and warm as if freshly baked that morning. Jeon Jungkook would be in the palm of your hands and the job would soon be in your possession. Financial stability: here I come.

        Parked outside of the building, you painted on a mask with all of the false confidence and determination you could muster, before any ounce of regret could slip in. Once the clock hit 8:55am, it was time to go. You grabbed the biscuits, which you had ever so ‘lovingly’ placed in a basket upping the charm factor, and headed for the entrance.

I need money. I need money. I need money. It was the mantra of your choosing as you took the unnervingly long elevator ride up to the Bang-Lenzo office where your unannounced meeting with Jeon Jungkook awaited. Yes, unannounced. Obviously to anyone with common sense of time, 9:00pm wasn't a viable hour to schedule a meeting for the next morning, so you decided to take the determined approach and show up like you already owned the place. For the first time you had a goal and were dead set on obtaining it. Nothing would stop you from getting that income. I need money.

‘Bang-Lenzo INC.’ read the door sign in front of you. For a moment you closed your eyes, fighting off the urge to walk back to your car and forget this place. But your mantra was quick to erase such thoughts. I desperately need money. Overpowered with feigned confidence, you strutted into the main office. Immediately you were faced with your soon to be desk. It was large and crescent shaped, spacious and tall. In a room to your right, you heard a muffled voice. Surely that was Jeon’s office. With a huff of air, you went to knock on his door.

“Huh? C-come in?” Faint and hurried clattering was heard from inside. With suspicion, you went for the door, revealing behind it the manager, and possible future boss: Jeon Jungkook. Sporting nothing but a set of gray sweats, disheveled hair, and a headset placed around his neck. “Did you need something?” 

The scene in front of you made you lose focus for a split second. You had never seen him before, and by personality description you expected many things except him being viciously attractive. And also a gamer, noted by the Overwatch screen on his computer. The thought left you in a split second, you only had one goal and it did not include sleeping with the manager to reach it. You learned that only works once and it’s never rewarding.

“I’m here for the secretary position? I figured since it’s early and unannounced I’d bring in a little something to eat.” A sweet and charmful voice oozed from your throat, foreign to your body unless it was summoned. The confused manager’s doe eyes lit up once they set intensely on the basket making way to his desk. “I hope you enjoy warm biscuits.” Before he could even question what was going on, you were already sitting across from him, placing your intricate resume in front of his grubby self, you were ready to snatch this job from his hands. He had already fallen victim to the biscuits. You could see the revival in his eyes as soon as he took the first bite. Butter and cheese were the key, but  it was the mini weenies hidden inside that sealed the deal.

Jungkook didn't bother to offer it much of a glance. Instead he redirected his attention to you. “Are you good with computers and organizing?” Bread crumbs and cheese lingered on the corner of his lips as he spoke, you could have sworn some spittle came in your direction as well. Upon further inspection, the food stains on his sweats may have started a whole community of bacteria. Any office fantasy of getting railed by a manager quickly died with this individual, and some word of mouth started to make sense.

“Yes. Anything document and spreadsheet related I can handle, not to mention emails, and of course scheduling agendas-“

“And you made these? From scratch?” He held a biscuit in awe, and you couldn’t help but feel success in your future.

“I did.” You offered a soft, shy smile. Another desperate attempt to charm him for the job.

“Do you think you can bring them in on Monday mornings? Starting this Monday? Tell you what, I’ll raise you to $16 an hour if you do.” You choked on your saliva, instantly entering a coughing fit. He really might be off his rocker, but in this economy, who cares? Not you, because for simply baking Sunday nights you get an extra $40 a week. With this bread, you get your bread. 

“I certainly can! It would be my pleasure.”  “Great! Then let’s sign the paperwork and make it official.” He rummaged through his files to retrieve the contract. “Gosh, I can’t wait to tell the other managers all about my new beautiful secretary who cares for me, and cooks for me, and, who knows; maybe even have a secret romance with me?” There it was, the inappropriateness everyone talked about. Jungkook didn’t give you time to come out of your confused state. “Ha! I’m kidding! It’s just a joke. We’re professional. Professional. We’ll of course report our relationship to HR.” A noise seemingly from The Grudge escaped you. There was an ungodly uncomfortable silence before he decided to kill the awkwardness of the situation.“KIDDING AGAIN!” 

        You didn’t question the lacking interview, or how Jungkook was quick to hire you. It was the most unethical thing in the world and yet? You didn’t care. You were one step closer to financial stability, and that was all you could ever ask for. With the contract filled out and already added to the payroll, you had officially signed your soul over to the white collar world. Serving as the official secretary of Jeon Jungkook. He truly was an oddball, and somewhat inappropriate, but he didn’t give any indication of being an asshole of a boss. Too friendly and annoying, but you had the gut feeling he might just be a decent enough boss. Or at least not so much of an idiot that you can tolerate working for. Besides, the money’s good.

        Walking out of and looking back at the building, your eyes spotted his office windows, with him behind, cheerfully waving you off as he ate the remains of the biscuits. A subtle reminder, you needed to prep your baking game.

--- 

       With a more dressed down version of what you wore to the impromptu interview, you drove your car over to the office building. Only this time, pulling up to the parking lot as you were now an employee. Jungkook’s car was already there. A sleek, black Equus. In comparison to its ancestor, your Verna, it exuded upper management presence. He clearly was a successful 27 year old, and you aspired to be able to reach as much coin as he probably had some day. Really, all you ever wanted in life was money. Were you willing to work much for it though? Probably not, but you didn’t have a choice. It was time to get in gear and make up for lost time. 10 years of your life, in fact.

        You stopped thinking about past mistakes before you could let them affect your first day. Taking the biscuits and purse in a hurried manner, you rushed up to the office. Only an hour earlier than the rest, but you still had things to prove, if only to yourself.

        Upon arrival, Jungkook was busy fiddling on your computer. Documents and folders were neatly spread out on a corner of your desk, waiting to be filed and sorted.

“Hey Y/N, You’re early! I hope you don’t mind, I’m setting up your company email so you can quickly get started.” His quick fingers stopped abruptly, for just a moment, his hand reaching for the biscuits. “And thank you for these, I didn’t think you’d actually make them.” He cocked his head in surprise and took a bite before finishing setting up your computer and programs. The comment left you with an odd feeling.

“Of course I would, I promised it.” Truthfully you only agreed because of the pay raise, but you would still hold up with it. No complaints. “Why did you up my pay grade if you didn’t think so?”

“I don’t know, incentive? I figured this would be an easier way to have someone stay for longer than a week at least.” Shaking his head for only a brief second, he continued. “But there’s something about you that tells me you’re going to be the perfect fit here. You have potential, Y/N. That’s why I hired you.” What the fuck was he talking about, ‘Potential’? You were a 28 year old deadbeat, a failure and a degenerate according to your relatives. You had anything but potential. Noting the hesitation to answer, Jungkook changed the subject swiftly. 

“And it’s done. I’ll give you a quick rundown of things on the machine and then we can work with organizing my schedule, I am so out of sync with this company and I haven’t a clue when my next meetings are.” With a clap, he stood up and motioned you to the seat. He continued to peruse through the biscuit basket, searching for the ‘cheesiest ones’.

        After a tour throughout the company programs and where supplies and files were around the office, the other workers started to arrive in a timely fashion. Some didn’t bother to give you the time of day, but others decided to greet you as soon as they walked in. Particularly a few of the guys from accounting and sales were quite enthusiastic to greet you. If you remembered correctly, the younger pair of them were from Accounting; Jimin and Taehyung, they were really nice, a bit shy as were you, but very polite and warm. You watched as they sat at their corner and bickered slightly, but it seemed to be in honest fun. The one from sales, Hoseok, was the opposite in terms of shyness. He welcomed you with the most charming of smiles and emphasized that if you ever needed a helping hand around the office to not hesitate to ask him. He cheerfully chatted your ear for a few minutes giving you a small idea of what a day in the office might be. “It’s not that bad once you get used to it, you just need to give us a chance.” You heard his hidden pleas. Many people came and went from this place and their tongues never ceased to express their distaste for it. Even most of your coworkers gave off an air of annoyance with the place. You couldn’t blame them, but basing your experience on first impressions only, it could be worse. Only time will reveal the shithole everyone else claims this place to be.

        It was 20 minutes past 8:00am and the once empty office was now filled and working. Jungkook came out of his office ever so often, glancing over the the desks, ‘tsk tsk tsk’ is all he ever spoke before going back behind his door. You thought to ignore his manner and focus on organizing his schedule based on the emails he forwarded you. He had plenty of meetings, webinars and conference calls to attend, and they were all scattered around. On your shared calendar, you added the event reminder and description for each and every one for the next month, even going an extra step to add reminders on your own calendar the day before, just to make sure he’s up to date. 

        A new email displayed on the screen, an impromptu conference call for Jungkook in 10 minutes labeled ‘URGENT’. You were about to head to his office to notify him, but you remained seated as the entrance door swung abruptly, startling you just enough to make you forget your name and the company you now work for. All you saw was a coat being placed on the rack next to you with an exasperated sigh escaping the core of the individual. Right away, it was clear that if there was anyone in the entire building that hated having to wake up early in the morning just to show up to work in this unfortunate place more than you, it was him. Like the majority of the employees, he looked straight up miserable, even behind dark colored sunglasses. The freshly made venti Iced Americano, the slow paced walk to his desk and his disregard to show up on time were, in your opinion, strong indicators of his likely hatred for his job.

        Settled in his desk, he removed his shades. His narrow, cat-like eyes drew you in like magnets, there was no telling whether or not his iciness was natural, or a ruse to limit his interactions with the rest of the staff. Yet somehow they were still fitting for his rounder, chubbier cheeks. His lips were already pursed downward, but they seemed to curl even further and remain that way almost permanently as Jungkook peered his head out. You tried calling out to him, but your voice was muted by his own exclaims.

“Yoongi!” He shouted, you could say enthusiastically, towards the late addition in the office. He released another sigh, this time accompanied by an eye roll.

“Not now, Jungkook.” His voice was deep and low. Eyes never abandoning his monitor as Jungkook approached him. 

        Whatever conversation they were having was nothing but whispers and subtle head shakes. Yoongi was it? Didn’t seem in the mood for whatever chatter the manager kept going on about. You noticed bow everyone in the office was trying to work, but not being able to steal sudden glances from the conversation. Judging by those, especially Hoseok’s since he was sitting right at the situation, you assume they all had an idea as to what was unfolding. You, however, could only assume was an odd scolding in Jungkook’s manner for him showing up late.

        A ringing alert brought your focus back to your own desk, the incoming call you guessed was from Corporate due to the email. Jungkook had previously requested that you warn him first before answering any calls from them, and you remembered what you were ready to do before Yoongi walked in. Not wanting to bring in any attention to yourself you debated quickly which was the best option, calling him over or going straight to him, but you didn’t even answer yourself before your legs started moving on their own.

“Jungkook.” You tapped his shoulder gently, and spoke softly. The young manager startled a bit, and you were unsure if the other man’s expression was relief or annoyance, but you let it go quickly.

“Yes? Oh! That reminds me. Everyone!” What you wanted to avoid was exactly what he gathered: attention.

“This is Y/N, office secretary. I want you all to make her feel welcome, be kind.” He kept going on one of his badly timed speeches until no one paid him any mind.

“Jungkook, you have-”

“Would you both excuse yourselves and talk elsewhere?” The deep voice that spoke seemed to command more authority than Jungkook did. 

“Sorry,Y/N. Yoongi’s a bit on edge due to his divorce trial.” The last phrase he tried to utter as a whisper by leaning close to your ear, and although he made it sound like such, it was still loud enough for people to hear.

“Do you really have to tell people about my personal life? Where does it end with you?”

“I felt like I needed to excuse your attitude, she’s part of our family now anyways, she can know.” 

        Their bickering picked up again, Jungkook defending the reasoning for his declarations and Yoongi countering with how he always oversteps fine lined boundaries and doesn't have any common sense. Although you very much agreed with what Yoongi was saying that it was an invasion of privacy, you were still caught in the middle of their crossfire and all you wanted to do was inform Jungkook about the god forsaken call.

“JUNGKOOK.” Your raised voice silenced their bickering, and the room came to an onlooking halt. Anxiety started creep behind you due to shouting over your manager on your first day, causing flashbacks of previous outcomes due to this similar situation to roll like a montage in your head, but your patience was running thin.

“What, what is it?” Jungkook, unphased by the situation, cocked his head at you in slight confusion.

“You have a call from Corporate.” You maintained your stern tone, but you were wavering internally. His demeanor took a turn, eyes so wide you feared they would pop out.

“Did you answer?” Whispers gave an undertone of fear. With the phone still ringing in the background, you shook your head.

“Good. Tell them I’m out with a major client. I’m not here.” He hurriedly walked you back to the phone. The glint in his eyes says you should worry, but you swallowed and answered with the same feigned confidence you used for the interview.

“Bang-Lenzo, this is Y/N.”

        You successfully got rid of the Corporate call in the morning, but you were unsure how long that might last given the urgency they requested it with. And Jungkook’s behavior regarding any calls from Corporate today, or the rest of the week from what he stated, was worrisome. It was a concern you’d tuck to the back of your head, it wasn’t your business anyways.

        As the day went on, you saw that life in the office was quite eventful, so to speak. After the ordeal of Yoongi’s divorce proceedings this morning, and Jungkook avoiding Corporate like the Black Plague, an array of unusual things for a normal day to day office routine continued to happen.

        Mainly, Jungkook was entirely distracting. To you, the staff and mostly to himself. He would constantly try to make conversation with anyone, and the topics were always painfully awkward. Anytime he was actually in his office, more time was spent playing Overwatch with Taehyung than doing any kind of work. Not to mention he eventually ventured over to the conference room, with Jimin and Hoseok in toe, for their “twice a day dancercise routine” as their official 15 minute break away from their computers.

        If you thought the nonsense would end there, you were soon to be corrected. It in fact continued in the numerous times Taehyung and Jimin came by your desk asking for copies. And not even official work copies- they were asking you to print out different versions of invitational flyers for their ‘seasonal crop party’. To your surprise, Taehyung had inherited the only strawberry farm in the region due to his grandparents passing, not like you had bothered to ask anyways. The only question you cared an answer for was if Jungkook had approved of using office supplies for this. It shouldn't have shocked you like it did that the man himself had designed the flyer and organized such an event, but still. 

        Lunchtime couldn’t arrive quicker. Some of the staff beelined with their meals over to the lunchroom area, while the others went out to eat. You half expected Jungkook to take advantage of the lunchroom crowd for his shenanigans, but he opted for eating in his office with Jimin and Taehyung instead. You could hear their incessant planning murmurs as you passed by to heat up your meal.

“Y/N!” Jungkook exclaimed once he caught your movement. “If the others give you the cold shoulder, feel free to join us here for lunch.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I planned on eating at my desk,” You chose your next words carefully, feeling the party planners’ gazes. “But I’ll keep it in mind in case I get too lonely, thank you!” The soft smile that spread across your smile was enough to comfort them from the small rejection. They went back to their discussions and you headed for the microwave.

        Peaking your head into the lunchroom, it was filled with the younger, unwelcoming faces from earlier. It’s not like you planned on sitting down and chatting with them, you were there just to heat up your lunch, but upon entry you noticed how their conversations volumes lowered all the way down to whispers and snickers. You focused your attention on the whirring noises and beeps the microwave offered as a mere distraction. It was a curse you carried for as long as you could remember. Any giggle, whisper, snicker, or anything of the sort you heard in your perimeter, you felt was directed at you. As if they could see the list of failures and misfortunes displayed on your back.

        You took your bowl and offered the room a nervous smile and nod before leaving, hoping it came across as a ‘sorry to bother, enjoy your lunch’.  As you exited the room, Hoseok, tailed by Yoongi, was heading with his food over to the conference room.

“Y/N, come join us if you want.” Hoseok was beaming, if the sun was human it would be him. Contrary to the one walking past him, not bothering to stop. He could be truthfully considered the dark side of the moon. Although with his back to you, you could make out his unrelenting scowl reflecting in the conference room’s glass wall. “Ignore him, he’s still mad over this morning.”

“All things considered, I can’t blame him. But I think I’ll pass.” Hoseok hooked his free arm around yours before you could continue.

“Nonsense, you shouldn’t cast yourself out on the first day.” In truth, Hoseok’s friendly manner and joyous attitude couldn’t be denied. You felt his genuine interest in making sure your transition into the office was a smooth one. In the room, Yoongi was already gulpin down his food, not bothering to glance up until he spoke.

“Shut the door so I can tell you…” Words escaped him, replaced by a sigh as he spotted your presence, and Hoseok’s sudden realization of what this lunch reunion entailed. Surely, they were meant to discuss the divorce proceedings, but Hoseok forgot upon trying to welcome you.

“Right… Y/N, rain check? Alone on your first day though...” He sighed as he flushed with embarrassment and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t worry,” that was directed more at Yoongi if anything, a small assurance accompanied by the subtlest of nods. The rest was for Hoseok, as a dismissive joke to calm his worries. “I’ll probably join the Crop Festers and their shenanigans.” He cocked his head in confusion, a sharp ‘hm?’ caught in his throat. You brushed it off, leaving them with a wave. Wishing them a nice lunch and closing the door behind you, it was unknown to you that the Crop Festers had overheard, and were expecting you at Jungkook’s door excitedly.

“So you’re joining us then?” Taehyung assumed overjoyed, and Jimin couldn’t hide his giddiness. Jungkook was at the back at his desk, shaking his head in tune with soft chuckles before waving you in. It was clear that there was no way to have an unbothered lunch for the next 45 minutes, so… You joined.

        Tae, as he now urged you to call him, and Jimin made space for you between them. Rice, meats, noodles, and an array of veggies were spread across the desk, now along with your own addition of food and in no time you were all eating and sharing your meals. Jungkook even offered up the few remaining biscuits, causing Tae and Jimin to fuss over why weren’t they brought out sooner and how good of a cook you were. Now they were expectant for next Monday morning for a pleasant cheesy boost.

        Unknown to your conscious self, you were having a nice time. Further into the lunch, you became more involved with the Crop Party planning, and were even getting a bit excited for the day to arrive. A paid work day for a strawberry picking party? Who could say no to that? You weren’t ready to admit it just yet, with it being the first day and all, but… You were starting to like this place, even if you weren’t ready to acknowledge it. Once lunch was over, and everyone was making their way back to their desks, they eyed you with slight annoyance as you walked out of the office along with Tae and Jimin, still laughing at one of Jungkook’s impressions of some of the staff. Unaware, Yoongi and Hoseok exchanged a suspicious glance. Who was to blame any of them? It was a first for them to see someone new being friendly, or accepting the office shenanigans as they transpired.

        Afternoon was a milder version of what the morning turned out to be, everyone was calmer now, and as the hours passed you noticed they worked harder. Even Jungkook was filing reports and taking work calls, as long as they weren’t from Corporate. One of your last tasks was to send out some notice of change in policy emails to clients, it was the most time consuming, but it helped the remaining hours pass by in a flurry.

        Bags started to be packed and coats began to be thrown on as the clock got nearer to 5:00pm. Everyone was ready to put an end to the odd Monday, and you could tell by their soft smiles and shy ‘See you tomorrow’s.  Hoseok dropped by your desk with a “Lunch tomorrow, for sure!” before leaving and wishing you well. Yoongi followed behind him, not offering anything at all. More than likely still fussy over his personal issues being announced in the office. Jimin and Taehyung each went for a goodbye hug, as they were more than excited to have you aboard. Often they carpooled, you found out that they live together on the farm. After being friends for so long, they decided to run it together. Only you and Jungkook, who was still stuck in his office remained. With your things on hand, you peered through his window to give him a small wave which he returned, followed by pointing to the phone and making mocking expressions of talking too much. With a shake of your head, you went to clock out, putting an end to the first day on the job. You would call it a success, for it being your very first 8-5, and it deemed celebration. So once you hopped on your Verna, and peered out of the parking lot, your destination was clear: Slack Jack’s. 

        You had never once been there on a Monday, much less after 5:00pm. Late weekend nights were what you had grown accustomed to due to your old odd jobs here and there. But much to your surprise, the ambience at this hour was much more tranquil and up your alley than what you were used to. You hated crowds and loud groups of people, and there was none of that here. Eyes scanned the bar for your favorite and only owner, who upon noticing your arrival called you over to an empty stool up at the bar. Eager steps made their way over as he placed your favorite shot on the counter: a water moccasin. You paid no mind to the individual next to your stool as you sat down, eyes trained on the peachy, sweet and sour whiskey shot glass before you. Widened eyes stared, unknown to you, as you drank it in one big gulp, placing the now empty glass on the counter, snapping and pointing at Jackson with finger guns as you exclaimed “Hit me again”.

        A smirk played on the corners of his mouth as he placed a second one just as you finished asking. Knowing your habits, he made two as soon as he saw you. “I’m guessing today went... ?” He was expecting you to tell him all about your day, as soon as you finished fighting off the burning feeling down your throat. It was always the second one that got you the most. Hissing for only a few seconds, you spoke.

“Honestly? Honestly honest? I can’t complain.” Alcohol was slowly starting to take effect on you as you rambled on. “At first I was kinda freaked out? Because everyone was kinda weird? OH! And then Jungkook decided to out a guy’s whole divorce or something?” In the background, next to you, someone cleared their throat as Jackson bit his bottom lip, trying to hold in a chuckle, but you went on. “I don’t know, it was weird. But like afterwards, it was pretty chill. Jungkook ain’t that bad. And lowkey? I can’t wait for the strawberry season, dude.” A snort escaped you as you thought back on the Crop Party. You couldn’t wait. Tae mentioned something about making fresh milkshakes, and right now you were wildin’ at the thought.

“So I’m guessing you’ve met Yoongi?” Jackson’s hand motioned you to look to your right. Lo and Behold, Mr. Divorcee was magically there, a citrus whiskey on the rocks in his hands. And that’s when it hits you, you have a loud mouth.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” Eyes like a deer in headlights, pleading for forgiveness. Yoongi waved it off. You finally heard his voice without a hint of annoyance.

“It’s fine.” Bringing the glass to his lips, he took a long sip. Which reminded you.

“Jackson, may I please--”

“Have another?” He chuckled as he went to prepare a fresh shot. “Don’t get carried away tonight, though. You work tomorrow, remember?” 

“Hey, I have self control. I won’t drink past 6:30, I swear.” To even prove such control, you didn’t rush to down the shot. Instead you tried to build a conversation with the man in charge of the drinks, but he cursed silently at a reminder.

“Fuck, excuse me for a sec. I have to call my parents.” You remembered him mentioning something about an upcoming anniversary as he rushed to the back, leaving you alone with Yoongi, a shot and your thoughts. 

        Allowing your mind to travel far for a moment, the waterfall of bitter memories with your family started to cloud your field of vision. Forgetting where you were and who was around, you brought your hands up to either cheek and gave yourself some quick, small smacks in an attempt to distract your tear ducts from doing their job. A groan escaped you as you reached for the shot in front of you, disappearing it in an instant. So much for self control.

        The man next to you watched in awe. He already knew far more about you than whatever first impressions you thought you gave, courtesy of Jackson. But he was one to always doubt the extent of the things he said, and since forming odd suspicions of you at the office, he figured now was the time to see if anything added up. 

“Escapism?” The sudden voice shocked you, and brought you back to reality. Another snort made its way out your nose, in an endearing manner.

“You can say that. No, you know what? Life is a bitch.” In your drunken manner, you broke. You vented, you ranted, and you rambled. You laid out your entire life in front of this man, this stranger, revealing more than what was necessary, but you couldn’t stop yourself. “And now here I am.” Fingers tapped the counter, antsy. Waiting for Jackson to come back and serve you yet another shot to calm down.

“I see, I’m sorry for all that. Things are looking up now, at least?” Yoongi shrugged, a winced expression since your story was still fresh in his mind. “But, if it makes you feel any better, I have some fucked up shit going on myself."

“Oh really? A divorce? Family exile beats loveless marriage any day, boy.” Another side effect of your alcoholism was straight up competitiveness. Even though it stung him, he couldn’t help but laugh. For him, it even felt like the first time in a while he had done so earnestly.

“My wife is pregnant.” Whiskey glass was brought back to his lips for a moment, barely touching them. “And it’s not mine.” He finished off the remainder of the glass, while you stared in silence, jaw dropped.

“Whoa, that sucks... How do you know though?” You brought your face closer to him, in curious intrigue, not knowing what personal space was; but he didn’t mind much as he inched in a bit closer to speak.

“I had a vasectomy.” A sighed escaped his core as he too revealed his life to a stranger. “Before we got married, we were clear that we didn’t want children. At least not for a long time, so I got the surgery done. If we ever wanted kids we would have a talk and take out time to decide how to go about it. But one day,” he shook his head, thoughts lost in the memory “she was very persistent that I go get the reversal done. Like, that I had to get it done that week. And I found that suspicious, so I pretended to get it.” His fingers now mimicked yours earlier, lightly tapping on the counter. “We waited the recovery time, had sex, and a few days later, she was pregnant. So I filed for divorce. Do I win now?” His usual serious pout curled into a smirk as you shook your head no.

“Nah, I still win. You can always get a new wife, I can never get new parents. I don’t make the rules, chief.”

        The mood was starting to liven up, but the universe often threw curveballs in your direction. Text alerts distracted you from your office chatter with Yoongi, and again, you soured. It wasn’t often when you received messages from your cousin, but you never talked about the elephant in the room. This time, however.

‘Your dad’s been asking about you lately. Anything worth mentioning?’ You watched the words fade from the pop-up screen, and debated in silence. The shift was visible, and Yoongi caught it as it happened. “Is everything okay?” he asked. Instead of answering, you simply opened the chat and showed him the message. Grabbing your phone in his hands he stared.

“Do I answer? Do I just leave it for tomorrow? What could I even bother telling?” Complaints continued to spew out of your mouth, muting the light clicks of Yoongi’s rapid fingers working on the keyboard. You’re only brought back from your rambles when you feel him pressing your phone still in his hand, back into yours, a message already written out in the text box.

‘I just started at a new office job. Safe, secure. It’s working out.’ Short, simple and to the point. A quick nod was enough for him to press send. As he pulled away, leaving you with the chat which was instantly read, you expected to feel a bit better, but your worries and anxiety remained as your fingers drummed at a quickened pace, itching for yet another shot. 

        Right on cue, Jackson’s presence made its way to you. Catching your tells, his hands moved straight to the Schnapps.

“Actually, I think she might be better off with water instead.” You shot daggers at him, annoyed at such an assumption. “Same for me. You said you won’t drink past 6:30. I don’t make the rules, chief.” You couldn't grumble out much, because as much as you desperately wanted to be irresponsible and drown your sorrows in waves of alcohol, you had a new, very decent, job to uphold. And that required showing up sober.

        The rest of the night went by pretty decently, ending with a new weird routine of going home early instead of waiting until Jackson finished closing off, to drag you all the way to his car. The nights you drove to your home from the bar were less than the ones he posted you up at his own apartment. 

“You’re good to drive, right?” This time, it was Yoongi who was nice enough to walk you over to the beat up Verna at the end of the lot.

“Surprisingly enough, I am. Thanks.” Sticking the key into the lock, you jiggled it around. The only sure way to open the door these days. “What about you?”

“Considering I only had one glass of whiskey, I think I’m alright.” He motioned over to the Genesis next to you. “I’m gonna head out. Drive safe.”

        You nod and make sure he's at least safe besides his car door before entering yours. Turning back briefly to look at you, your goodbye wave stops halfway as his words reach your ears.

“Lunch tomorrow.” Is all he says. he doesn't even bother waiting for a confirmation, he simply gets inside his car and drives away.

        Starting up your car was always a hassle but you got it kicking in no time. As you pulled out of the lot, you spotted the Genesis still at the empty intersection. You flashed your headlights twice before heading the opposite direction, and from your rearview saw him continue on his way. Despite all the characters and particular personas inhabiting the living bodies of your coworkers, you couldn’t help but think: Yoongi's just might be the most intriguing to you after all.

#yoongi fanfic #yoongi scenarios #yoongi imagines #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi x y/n #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts x reader #office!au

[alicereadsbooks]

Tower of Dawn (Throne of Glass book 6)

Tower of Dawn is a weird one. It doesn’t follow the usual character of Aelin who we know and love, but instead is written from the point of view of Chaol, the previous Captain of the guard and Aelin’s first friend in the series, and Nesryn, who was introduced in Queen of Shadows (Book 4).

I knew this when I bought it, and because of the way Empire of Storms ended (no spoilers here, don’t worry), I really wasn’t keen to read it. I was so tempted to carry on with the main story and ignore this book altogether, but I’d read several comments and reviews saying ToD contained key plot points that would be vital to the final book. I’m so glad I did. Honestly I spent the last few chapters in tears, because I was so attached to the characters and the ending was so damn dramatic (in a good way!).

We find ourselves in the rich, warm desert city of Antica, the capital city of the Southern Continent. Sarah J. Maas makes it so easy to fall in love with this world, which is extremely beneficial considering we have only heard the smallest of hints about this land, with people we have had absolutely no mention of previously, aside from Chaol and Neryn. The writing style is so familiar and straightforward that you feel completely at ease getting to know these characters more, from the tumultuous royal family to the welcoming city folk. Honestly, the book doesn’t feel out of place at all, mostly due to the consistency in Maas’ writing. You start to love and empathise with Chaol (I know he wasn’t the most popular character in the first few books), learning more about his traumatic upbringing and getting to know his thoughts about Aelin, Dorian, and the horrors that have befallen them over the last few years. The character development from Chaol as he journeys through his recovery is just so gratifying, watching him go from a broken, self-hating soldier, to a soulful human being capable to true love.

I love love love all the strong female characters that Maas brings to life, and Yrene is no exception. She is so smart and driven, and regardless of the trauma she’d been through, she never fails to see the good in people, especially Chaol.

Something I’ve noticed is that Maas is very good at slipping in LGBTQ+ characters into the books. However, they only tend to be ‘extra’ characters, and have only appeared/been revealed from books 5 and onwards, almost as an afterthought. I naturally get very excited (because yay for representation!) when I read these characters, but then get disappointed knowing it will never be part of the greater plot. There's definitely a redeeming factor in that Chaol is the only white character in the book, which is pretty unheard of in the YA Fantasy genre.

Maas is an absolute master of the dramatic reveal - and not in the way that makes you roll your eyes and say 'oh come on'. No, these twists actually make so much sense with the lore of the world, and holy cow the setup and worldbuilding is extraordinary. It’s so interesting to see how the different continents talk about different creatures and myths, and how the various legends tie together to weave a complex story full of surprises.

I’m so desperate to read the final installment, but I’m disappointed that the series has to come to an end. I know the last book (Kingdom of Ash) will be an epic conclusion to a series that has gotten me back into reading in a way that I haven’t been since I was a teenager. I will be forever grateful for that, and I can't wait to see what comes next.

#tog #throne of glass #aelin galathynius #celaena sardothien #sarah j maas #tod #tower of dawn #review #book #currently reading #booktok #bookstagram

[spideychelleforever]

When Spider-MJ Survived the Snap but Peter Didn’t, p.4

Tony and Scott, it transpired, had messed up the mission to retrieve the Space Stone. Tony led Steve on another mission to get it and more Pym Particles, and though Scott warned them that they may never return, MJ figured if anybody could weasel their way out of this kind of trouble, it was Tony with Steve.

So she and Scott rendezvoused with Bruce, and they returned to the present, with Steve and Tony rejoining them on the spot. Then the other shoe fell when Clint fell to his knees.

All the unhealthy self-doubt and rage in MJ’s body came back with a vengeance. Just when she’d finally, finally come back from the dead, Nat was ripped from them. Another loved one, gone. MJ remembered how many times she saw Nat resort to eating the past five years, the gusto to which she threw herself into the training gym, the countless nights she spent crying at any given time. None of these activities were particularly healthy, but MJ would’ve given anything to see her do it all again if it meant seeing her alive again.

After a few hours, Steve gathered everyone to address them, and affirmed, with tears steaming down his face, that Nat would be the last casualty of Thanos. And they had a job to do.

MJ sucked in sharp breaths, which seemed to hurt even more now that she knew Nat would never give her another loving embrace. The pain wouldn’t go away, but she had to put it away for now, at least. For Nat, and for Peter.

****

The new Infinity Gauntlet was created, and admittedly, nanotechnology was beyond MJ’s scope of abilities, so she left it to Tony, Bruce, and Rocket. And soon, Bruce was volunteering to do the Snap to bring everyone back.

As they prepared, MJ spoke up. “Trillions died, and a lot of them were in places like airplanes and on boats, or there were people who died as a result of pilots or doctors dying. So... I don’t know how it works, but make sure everyone comes back to a safe place. We don’t want people coming back 10,000 feet in the air.”

Bruce nodded, offering MJ a solemn smile. “Everyone comes home.”

Nobody knew what would happen, but everyone took some kind of cover. Tony put a shield around Clint, Scott and Rhodey put on their suits, Thor put himself between Rocket and Bruce, and Steve offered a hand to MJ, and when she accepted, he gently pulled her behind his shield.

Bruce put on the Gauntlet, and howled in pain as the raw power of the Infinity Stones tore into every fiber of his being. But he was finally able to snap his fingers, and then collapse on his back. Everyone raced over, and despite him receiving immediate medical treatment from Tony on his arm, MJ didn’t know how you could treat that kind of damage to his arm.

They heard Scott say something, then suddenly, what must’ve been the loudest noise MJ had ever heard in her life hit them - as well as the explosive debris from the building as the Sanctuary II bombarded them.

Steve only had a moment to react, but he was just able to get his shield between MJ and the direction of the blast. Nobody emerged unscathed from the attack, but it was unlikely MJ would’ve been in the condition she was if Steve hadn’t gotten his shield in front of her.

“Hey, MJ,” she heard a voice call to her. Soon she was being helped to her feet, and she felt the heavy shield sliding off of her. MJ opened her eyes to find Tony, just as battered as she was, but looking relieved to find her nonetheless. “Come on, let’s find Cap and the others.”

“What happened?!” MJ asked, half-deliriously.

Tony didn’t answer at first. “Let’s find the others first. You’ll see.”

They found Cap and Thor, who was already keeping watch on the reason for all this destruction. He was sitting calmly amongst the rubble, looking at the ground pensively, until he spared a look at the small group above him in the wreckage. And MJ’s blood turned to ice as she saw Thanos’s face for the first time in the five years since he’d destroyed her life and killed the boy she was in love with.

She took slow, deliberate breaths as she looked at him. They were too far away to make direct eye contact, and Thanos wasn’t even trying to make eye contact with any of them. He simply looked back at the ground, not reacting to them beyond simple observation.

Thor made it clear what they all knew, that it was a trap, but Tony confirmed what they also knew - they didn’t care. MJ jumped a little as Thor summoned his weapons and received some sort of makeover, and vowed they’d kill Thanos properly this time.

Once the four of them got down to Thanos, MJ’s stomach was screaming because of just how bad things had truly gotten. He now intended to murder all life in the universe to start over. And that-well, that wouldn’t fly.

The fight was on. But quickly, it became apparent that not even the combined might of the four of them wasn’t enough to take Thanos on. MJ observed a variety of factors as to why this was, even when she was trying to give it her all.

One, she mostly specialized in quick, light attacks, something that wouldn’t hold up against someone who was both strong and fast like Thanos. Two, Thor was out of shape and was just coming off a severe drinking problem. Three, Tony was out of practice and probably hadn’t fought in the last five years. Four, she and Cap both may have varying degrees of super strength, but it wasn’t enough against Thanos who clearly had natural super strength built into him. One by one, they fell to the mass murderer.

Steve was knocked out, then Tony was accidentally knocked out by Thor. MJ tried to keep to the perimeter to shoot Thanos from afar, but he responded by throwing his sword at her, and the blunt force was enough to take her out. She only whimpered a little as she was knocked out.

Fifty years later, or it could’ve been fifty seconds for all she knew, she was stirring awake. She heard something loud. Really, really loud. As she came to, she saw it - the burning orange rays of the countless portals, the shine from the various warriors’ armors, the absolute mass of people pouring onto the scene. She recognized the portals as being something of Strange’s work - and sure enough, saw him at the head of the massive group that was arriving.

If he was there, MJ thought, then-then-

MJ’s heart broke all over again because there was Peter Benjamin Parker.

She stared at him, realizing he hadn’t seen her. Words completely failed her. She couldn’t speak.

But soon Steve was leading them in a massive charge, so she didn’t get to do anything. Yet.

MJ fought her way through the hordes of generic aliens that had apparently arrived since she’d been knocked out, and searched and searched for Peter again. But she couldn’t tear herself away from fighting for her life long enough to find him - and even during the fleeting moments she did find him, he was far away and there was too much in the way.

As the battle raged, MJ made her way towards where Scott’s van was, having overheard the comm chatter about getting the Stones back to their proper places in time. And finally, finally, she got close enough to actually see Peter’s brilliant face - albeit as he was knocked out of the sky with the Gauntlet by Thanos’ bombardment.

She heard him yelping for help in that all too wonderful high, squeaky voice, and everything stopped as she ferociously ran to his aid even as the bombardment got too close for comfort. And she threw herself on top of him.

“MJ?!?” Peter screamed over the din of war, but MJ didn’t respond, she only focused on keeping her body on top of his.

But then Carol returned and destroyed Thanos’ ship with an almighty blast, and Peter and MJ were left to watch in awe as it plummeted out of the sky.

Then she turned to him, panting from the shock of nearly being blown up. He looked at her, astonished.

Neither said a word.

“MJ you look.. you look really pretty,” Peter fumbled, smiling nervously at her.

MJ’s mouth fell open.

“Is that so?” She mustered.

“Doctor Strange said it’s been five years, so-So holy cow, does that mean that... that you’re 21 and I’m 17 or something? That’s a-that’s an age gap but I-gosh, you’re really pretty, MJ-“

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” MJ groaned, before grabbing Peter Parker’s face, pulling him in, and kissing him.

Peter’s eyes were wide open as he looked at MJ, her eyes closed and centimeters away from his.

All the pain, the sorrow, the horrors she’d endured the past five years; the uncontrollable tears, the aches throughout her body, the gravitational pull of a black hole that seemed to keep her heart pulled to the bottom of the Earth itself every waking day; all the pining from the years before the day she lost him; all of that was just too much for one skinny little girl from New York.

But kissing him? Putting her lips on his? Smiling as she did it? Grabbing his sweet, handsome face? It felt... mesmerizing. It felt like all that pain, or at least most of it, was being melted away. And she felt amazing. She felt - for the first time in five years - happy again. And it made her cry.

And she pulled away from him, looking unsure at first, until she realized what she’d just did, and smiled as the warm, unfamiliar wave of something like pleasure enveloped her. It felt... it felt really good, even as tears streamed down her face.

“You kissed me,” Peter said in disbelief.

MJ nodded, sniffling. “Look, I-I’ve really missed you the last five years and-and I wanted to tell you how I feel, because Thanos is trying to kill us all this time and I’d rather make out with you in person than as spirits in heaven or whatever.”

“That’s-that’s terrifying, but great,” Peter grinned breathlessly.

MJ smiled at Peter, before pulling out her phone from her suit’s pockets - because OF COURSE that survived Thanos’ blast. “I... I hope you don’t mind but this picture of us-this selfie-I’ve had it as my lock screen for like, forever.”

Peter looked and had to giggle a little. “Oh god. That picture! I almost-oh man. It’s so goofy, but I actually like it. Truly.”

MJ was beaming at Peter, still in disbelief about who she was talking to again. She scoffed a little. “I actually really like you.”

Peter turned his gaze back to her. “I really like you, too.”

They grinned at each other like the lovesick idiots they were, and went in for another kiss. And then a third, much longer, better one.

Then reality returned, and MJ helped escort Carol to the van, but not before pecking Peter on the lips one more time (a FOURTH kiss, mind you).

Tagging: my crush @you-guys--are-losers @spiderman-homecomeme @theslytherinterran @spideychelle @spideyxchelle @spideychelle-romanogers @peterjonesparker @suplosers @here-be-spideychelle @acastleintheair @lovely-iris-west-allen @acastleintheair @wandrlust-stark @miranduh1 @sodafizzyart

#avengers endgame #avengers: endgame #endgame #spideychelle #michelle jones #zendaya #tom holland #mj #peter parker #tomdaya #spideychelle headcanon #michelle #zendaya coleman #peter parker x michelle jones #michelle jones x peter parker #far from home #when spider mj survived the snap but peter didn’t

[rainbowfox20]

Tips from Maddy

Hey there.

So the other day I was having a conversation with one of my coworkers who was talking about her weight loss journey and how she was going about it and immediately I was getting warning signs all over the place simply because I have been through exactly what she is going through and I wanted to help inform her on what can possibly happen if she continues the way she is right now. I had told her a few good tips and tricks which was a lot of information to process so she asked if I could writes this all down for her to which I happily agreed to do. 

As I was writing this I realized that this information could be super helpful to others out there who are dieting and wanting to lose weight. I am no expert in any sense, I’m still learning things out myself and seeing what works but I have learned a lot over the past couple of years. 

So, here I am giving my tips to you guys. I hope that you learn something from this and if you can share this so others can see and learn as well that would make me so happy. 

Again please keep in mind that I do not have any qualifications, this is all my own personal experience and what I have learned from seeing many doctors, specialists, naturopaths (I have seen way too many people to help me seriously) 

Everything that I have written on here are things that I have learned over time as well as try them out myself and see what works for me. Please keep in mind that there will be some things that will help and other things that won’t. I’m always more than happy to discuss anything if you have any questions if something doesn’t make sense or you’re curious about more information.

Typically, when I talk about my diet, I don’t necessarily mean being in a caloric deficit but more about what I eat and my lifestyle in general. I’m not the type of person to eat less to lose weight, I’m more about eating good healthy foods and exercising the right amount for my body to handle without pushing it to the edge. I’ll give you my basic rundown of my history a couple years ago and what I learned from it.

Around three years ago I decided to change my diet and my overall lifestyle. I was 21 years old and weighing around 64kg. Keep in mind around the time I decided to change my eating habits was when I just came back from a holiday in Korea and Malaysia and boy I did not hold back on eating while away. I was young and used to a diet where I ate what I wanted and didn’t think much of it but over time as I got older I noticed that I wasn’t really recovering as quickly after eating junk food like I did when I was a teenager in high school.

Growing up I was never fat or obese in any sense. I was fit, I played hockey and karate and I would happily enjoy sports during school and enjoy walking, riding, anything I felt like I wanted to do. I was never really interested in being super skinny, I had a little fat on my tummy but it never really bothered me until after I finished high school. That was when I became more aware of how other people would look at me, make comments about my body and thus making myself become more aware of my own body.

When I was 21 I didn’t think that “Oh my god I am so fat and imperfect I need to fix this!” it was “I want to change my eating and just become healthier overall” and so I started to change things bit by bit. I cut things out that I knew my body couldn’t exactly handle such as gluten and dairy and noticed changes in my body such as my face was clearing up of pimples and acne. I was losing weight little by little which at the time made me really happy as it was something that has never happened to me before. That is what lead me down the path that I wish I read the warning signs early on but because I had this goal of ‘you must lose a certain amount and then you will be successful’ but didn’t notice how toxic it became.

I became obsessed with exercise. I would go to the gym 5-6 days a week as well as do 2-3 spin classes as well as 2-3 karate sessions each week, on top of working at a restaurant which is a physically labouring job. Yes I lost weight over time and I didn’t think it was bad simply because it was small amounts every month, ranging between ½ - 1kg every month.

Over roughly one and a half years I went from being 63kg to 53kg. I was the lightest I had ever been, and the strongest I had ever been however things caught up to me very quickly. There was a certain point probably one month after I turned 22 when I started to notice my hair falling out. I didn’t think anything of it and just thought “Oh I have long hair and it happens” which was true but I would wake up every morning with hair all over my pillow and sheets, brushing my hair it would come out and throughout the day strands would fall out. I had always had thick hair so I didn’t really notice it until a lot had come out. By that point I had become lethargic and tired all the time, I would struggle to climb a flight of stairs and I could see that my body was taking a big step backwards.

This was when things went really bad.

I had denied it over and over, never daring to say that I have body image issues and everything was falling apart because I wanted to hold onto this little moment that I had worked so hard for was slowly slipping out of my grasp and I tried so desperately to hold it close to me.

Everything came crashing down so quickly I didn’t know what to do.

Over a period of 3 months the muscle that I had built over a year was gone, I had gained around 7kg and I was severely depressed with health issues I didn’t know how to deal with and am still dealing with to this day.

I’m telling you this not to frighten you but to let you know that this can happen if you are not careful when you diet, if you ignore what your body is telling you and keep pushing yourself to that point that you cannot return from. I had screwed up my metabolism, was close to being diagnosed with chronic fatigue and had to deal with the fact that the body I had a few months ago was gone and that I had/have body image issues.

I am someone who is not afraid to talk about my past and I’m willing to talk about myself and my experiences if it means that I can help someone else.

I have come across many people who do all these fad diets and starve themselves which I didn’t go to any extremes but I did limit what I ate at times which is what would have been one of the factors that screwed up my metabolism and caused my body to just go screw you I’m going into survival mode.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose some weight and wanting to be fit and strong because that is what you like and you want to feel that way, I’m all about being fit and healthy but you have to make sure that you do it in a safe manner. Do not expect for weight to come flying off and that it will stay that way because boy oh boy that is not the case. It is something that you have to work at all the time, it’s a lifestyle. This is why I like to endorse a healthy lifestyle change, not just diet for a bit and enjoy how you look for a short amount of time.

As I said when I started back then I made small changes such as eliminating certain foods which is a great way to start. Going online and reading all these articles about how to lose weight and doing particular exercises to lose a few kilos is very confusing and quite honestly overwhelming so keep it simple.

One of the important things is that you need to learn about food and not be afraid of it. You need to figure out what your body can tolerate and what it can’t. It’s all trial and error but you will learn over time what is acceptable. Food is energy, the more energy you have the more you can do but the less energy you have the less your body will tolerate. Don’t think that eating an apple in the morning and going throughout the rest of your day on just that single apple will do you any good, quite honestly it will do you more damage not to eat.

If you deprive your body of food your body will go into survival mode and hold onto body fat. It goes into this defensive mode to keep your body alive and if it means storing fat because it can’t trust you to feed it then that is what it will do. Naturally it will eat away at your muscle as well so it’s important to feed your body!

I highly recommend eating a good breakfast, having a decent lunch and eating a small dinner. The reason behind this is because when you wake up in the morning this is when your body wakes up from its rest and will start to get to work. Breakfast literally means to break your fast. Fasting is when you don’t eat for an extended period of time so to break your fast you need to eat. Tada Breakfast!

Many people find that they aren’t hungry in the morning which can be due to a few reasons. One they may have had a large or late dinner and so they aren’t hungry due to that. Maybe they are used to not eating in the morning however they find that they will eat big meals for lunch and dinner or they will tend to snack a lot during the day.

You want to eat like a king for breakfast, eat like a prince for lunch and eat like a princess for dinner.

Meaning eat a big meal in the morning, eat a good meal at lunch and then have a small meal for dinner.

Dinner is the last meal of the day and most of the time after you’ve had dinner you’re going to wind down, enjoy Netflix and then fall sleep. You’re not doing much after dinner, all depending on your life and what your job entails, but for most people night time is time for rest and sleep. The last thing you need is for your stomach to be hard at work breaking down a giant meal that you shoved its way because you didn’t eat enough during the day.

Another thing I want to stress is how much you chew your food. Holy cow I wish I knew this ages ago and it makes such total sense but no one told me before!

Your stomach has acid in it which helps break down your food, more so it’s designed to really break down meats and proteins due to these foods being tough to digest and so it takes longer to breakdown. Fruits and vegetables take a small amount of time and energy to digest but honestly your stomach and digestive system will thank you for chewing your food properly.

I am someone who has working in the hospitality industry for around 8 years and a lot of the time it involves having to shove food down your throat if you want something to eat and continue on with your work as you don’t have time to properly sit and have a meal and you have customers to tend to so of course during these times I have developed a bad habit of chewing my food lazily and swallowing it almost whole but until recently I have been actively trying to change this.

Keep in mind I can eat a lot if I want, and when I say this I mean when I don’t chew and break down my food properly. If you talk to any of my friends they can vouch for me, a lot of the time they question how I can fit so much food into a small body and I would just shrug and say that I’ve always had a big appetite, which is not a lie. Ever since I was little I could fit a lot of food into my stomach but keep in mind I’ve always been an active person so naturally I burn more fuel and so would eat more.

Now that I am more aware of how I chew my food I have learned to slow down when it’s possible for me to do so and really chew my food before swallowing. From this I have noticed that I feel fuller and I’m not eating as much as I used to which makes sense as I have this tendency to overeat but that was simply because I would shove food into my mouth so quickly that my stomach wouldn’t be able to tell me when it was full until it was too late.

So, CHEW YOUR FOOD!

If you’re noticing that you’re not having much energy it means that you’re not getting enough food into your body or that you’re not eating the right kind of food.

Your body needs 11 essential amino acids which in turn makes another 11 non-essential amino acids. These make your DNA and RNA which are the building blocks of life.

These 11 essential amino acids cannot be made naturally from the body and the only way you can get these is through food. I cannot tell you which food hold what properties, this is where you need to do your own research and learn what you can have and what works for you.

I know that for my body I need a 50/50 diet that consists 50% protein/meat and 50% vegetables. This is how my body works, which would be due to my background and heritage but that’s another thing in itself which I could talk about but I am still learning myself so I do not have enough knowledge about it to discuss it. You need to learn what works for you, everyone is different and you cannot do a certain diet that someone else can do because their body may work differently than yours.

I suggest doing the elimination process where you take a specific food such as bread and eliminate that from your diet for about 2-4 weeks and just take note of how you feel. You can eat how you normally eat just take out that one item and then once the 2-4 weeks are done you can try that food again and then see how your body reacts. You’ll be surprised what your body can tolerate after a while. There will be times during this process where you have such strong cravings for specific foods which will make things harder but you need to try as hard as you can not to give in. Most of the time you will stop craving these certain foods after 2 weeks, sometimes it will take longer but again it all depends on you and what your body is like.

Once you’ve tried doing this this is when I suggest going through your notes of what foods you can and can’t have and then create somewhat of a diet plan based off of this to create food that you can eat that will be sustainable. Remember this is a lifestyle change, you want to be able to do this for the long run.

Another thing is enjoy yourself. Please don’t restrict yourself of life’s pleasures. If you want to have chocolate then have it but I suggest doing so in small doses and less often. I tend to have a cheat meal/day one every two weeks. Sometimes it can be once a week, sometimes it can be once every three to four weeks. I honestly go on what my body tells me.

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. It will tell you what it wants.

If it wants to rest, let it rest. If it needs more food, maybe because you’ve been exercising more, then eat more. If you’re really craving a specific food then have it, as long as it’s not every single day it’s not going to hurt.

During a lot of dieting phases we tend to have a weak moment and then we punish ourselves by either pushing our bodies to do extra work at the gym and exhausting ourselves and becoming miserable, or we binge and give up completely. Do not let these moments get to you. Easier said than done I know but we are human and we need to be kind to ourselves.

Another thing I want you to keep in mind is treat yourself kindly. Let me ask you this question. Everything that you tell yourself would you tell it to a friend?

Let me give you an example.

A lot of us who are dieting or look at ourselves in the mirror and notice all the imperfections in our bodies will tend to put ourselves down and we let it happen. We say to ourselves that we aren’t good enough, I am fat, I’m not muscular enough, I’m not good looking, my stretch marks are ugly, etc.

How would you feel if someone said these exact same things to you? I’m pretty sure it’s easy to say that you would feel like crap. So why do we let ourselves say/think these things about ourselves?

Here’s another question. Would you say those exact same things to your friends or family? I’m pretty sure the answer to that would be no.

You know that saying things like that would be hurtful to anyone, so again why do we let ourselves say these things to ourselves.

When it comes to exercise I suggest it’s a good idea to see a personal trainer who can set up a program for you. They will adjust it to what suits you but be honest and tell them whether the program is too much or too little, they are there to help you.

Also when it comes to exercise if you’re wanting to gain muscle you need to eat more protein. It’s pretty simple. You cannot create something out of nothing so if you don’t have extra protein in your body to help build extra tissue in your body then your body will eat away at the muscle you have. Also keep in mind the more muscle you have the more energy you will burn throughout the day so lifting weights and gaining muscle is honestly one of the best things you can do when it comes to “dieting”.

There is no way you’re going to become a beefy body builder unless you’re going to the gym every day and following a strict diet plan, so don’t stress about that. Again enjoy your exercise and try something new and fun.

I’ll quickly recap everything because there’s a lot I went through so here:

-          Don’t be afraid of food

-          Food is fuel = energy

-          CHEW YOUR FOOD

-          Try eliminating food from your diet

-          Enjoy yourself: have a cheat meal/day every now and then

-          LISTEN TO YOUR BODY: it will tell you want it wants

-          Be kind to yourself: don’t run yourself into the ground

 There is still so much that I am learning, I am no expert in any sense so don’t expect a miracle from what I’ve told you. This is what I have to offer and I hope it helps in any way, big or small.

#maddy's tips #writing #my journey

[oosteven-universe]

Neon Future #5

Neon Future #5 Impact Theory 2019 Written by Jim Krueger & Samantha Levenshus Illustrated by Neil Edwards & Jheremy Raapack Inked by Keith Champagne Coloured by David Kim & Nuo Xu Additional Colours by Gabe Eltaeb & Anthony Washington Lettered by A Larger World Studios, Samantha Levenshus & Farhad Heydarian     An action-packed issue that raises the stakes and propels the story towards the shocking climax to arc one (in issue 6). We open on Mars and EZ as they negotiate a secret deal that could very well end Neon Future as we know it. At the same time, a CTG raid of Andi's lair leaves Float fighting for his life and introduces us to a wild new character who may hurt more than she helps. Kita summons Clay, Hubble, Chen and Dee for a last-ditch effort to save Float and Andi - a mission that not all of them will survive.     As I sit here and was listing the creators and what role they play in this spectacular little drama I thought to myself, holy cow how many folks does it take to create one issue? I mean there are no back-up stories or anything. It is just something I noticed and thought of and put it down in writing it really is more of a curiosity than anything else.     I am also going to reiterate the fact that I wouldn't have found this if I weren't at C2E2. When you got to conventions, or if you haven't been to one then find a local one and go, look for what you've never seen before. That is how you find books like this one, which will take you on a journey the likes of which leaves such a good impression and leaves you wanting so much more. This is a fabulous look at not only society and how we see caste systems whether people want to admit they exist in such a fashion or not as well as a sensational science fiction story. This has it's roots firmly planted in an almost traditional science fiction setting and while it's been updated and is oh so current and modern it still has that old school feel to it. This really is one of those rare stories that just grabs you, pulls you in and engages your mind and imagination.     I love the work being done on the interiors here. It almost feels as if there is the linework of the characters alongside this computer generated colour work that somehow brings this near realistic look, tone and feel. The way that we see the varying weights of the linework utilised to create this absolute stunning attention to detail. The way we see the composition inside the panels with backgrounds being utilised to enhance the moments and show a sense of size and scope is incredibly well done. The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels shows a truly wonderful eye for storytelling. Then there's the colour work and I have to say that it's blood brilliant stuff to see. I mean inside the kernel with those neon colours and how they work together to create that inside virtual reality computer stuff is amazing. To see how light sources are utilised to show shading and shadows is exceptionally well done. The individuality of the characters through race and gender is diverse and well presented.     The character development that we are seeing here is fantastic and to see them grow, evolve and become the people they never knew they could be is something Jim is able to portray with aplomb. The intrigue factor here is pretty high and that's because of events we see unfold here which then take the reader off script and try to use our brains to figure things out that aren't yet show is something that keeps the reader coming back time and again. ​     It feels like a renascence in comics right now with new outlets for creators to explore story ideas and do what they do best. Besides Jim is such a great writer that it's nice to see him at the helm of some incredibly strong stories again. This little gem came out of nowhere and guess what this is so well done that it's not going anywhere and you should be on board.

#comic books #comics reviews #impact theory #Jim Krueger

[wxldchxld]

😰when my muse is stressed, how do they act out? & ⧱ what really is my muse’s biggest flaw

😰 when my muse is stressed, how do they act out? 

I guess it depends on the type of stress. If she’s just like, overloaded stressed where she feels like she’s taken on too much, her response is to leave. This can be everything from taking a break to completely bailing on the person or situation entirely and not returning to it. Beck is a bottler. So her first instinct is to shove it down and pretend to be happy and make everyone happy and she thinks if she can just achieve that the stress will go away. The end result is now not only has Beck fled the situation, but also that it probably came out of the blue. This was, essentially, the core of why she and Harper broke up. Things changed, Beck spooked, and instead of saying “hey we need to talk” she just disappeared into the night.

That was kind of a special situation, and a lot of the times Beck will come back once she’s cooled off, but she’d still rather not talk about it. Unless you’re someone she trusts and genuinely wants a relationship with. If those feelings are in place she’ll be more willing to talk or even may force herself to initiate it. She didn’t with Harper because... shit was complicated.

If she’s extremely distressed where she feels like she is in danger she either runs or shifts or grabs her wand. Depends because she tends to leap before she thinks, so she’s rarely like “so what would be best for me in THIS crisis situation.” 

⧱ what really is my muse’s biggest flaw

My girl is a hot mess, and I could probably fill a book if I tried to list all of the flaws so I’m glad we’re going with one.

This isn’t something that Beck is aware of, and if you confronted her with it, she’d adamantly deny it, but from an authorial stand point Beck’s biggest flaw is she doesn’t value other people just on the moral grounds that they too are people. And it’s not just because she’s a bit vain.

Hang with me, because my explanation for how she got that way isn’t going to seem relative at first because it’s a combination of two neutral things that have, over time, created a negative.

I feel like Beck’s naturally a wanderer. She’s not necessarily a loner, because she doesn’t get those desires to escape being around people, especially if they’re people she likes. For instance in a relationship, while Beck doesn’t prefer clingy partners, she also doesn’t really hit a wall where she’s like “holy shit if we don’t get some space from one another I might explode.”

However Beck will very often prioritize her desire to see new places and travel around over relationships. It’s about the journey, yes, but it’s also about her intense desire to feel free which comes from a childhood of constant criticism and frequent abuse, as well as it’s just a result of her magic. The wilds call to her. This is why in verses where Beck is married and forced to stay still, she keeps herself almost frantically busy, and she doesn’t cope well in urban areas bc she still needs that exposure to the wilderness. 

Essentially, the first neutral is that Beck values her own freedom and comfort over the comfort of others. But she’s not emotionless; leaving people hurts. When she left Harper, even though it was her choice, she cried for months. Her solution? Just don’t get close to people. Keep them at an arm’s length. Because the desire to leave is going to come, and someone is going to get hurt and Beck doesn’t like hurting people she loves or getting hurt herself.

The second thing is Beck was severely mistreated by her mother after the death of her father. Denise removed her children from the home and family they knew, took them somewhere else, changed their names, and then proceeded to neglect and abuse them away from prying eyes that might call her out on it. People were just too scared to go against her. Beck bore a little more weight from the abuse because Denise didn’t like her. She was defiant, unlike Fen. Then her mother died (in most verses; in my GoT verse she dies later), and she was given to her great aunt and uncle to raise, and they were abusive as well. Then her brother, once they were older, started to lose his grip on his sanity, and he abused her too. 

So Beck’s essentially been passed from family member to family member, and even Fen, who at one time she loved and trusted more than anyone in the world, fucked her over.

This is NOT an excuse. People are handed their deck of cards in life and, to some extent, they make a choice. When Beck hit her crossroads the first time where she was with Harper, someone who could protect her and would believe her, she chose to leave. Again after Fen kills her familiar Dawnbreaker, and she’s found a way to escape, she doesn’t go tell someone what he’s doing. She doesn’t skip the country and make a life for herself in a city where no one will find her with a coven that might protect her. She chooses to go back to the wild. When that very action is what she knows provokes the anxiety and rage in Fenris in the first place.

Over time, both of these factors, as well as the sheer amount of time she spends in isolation, has turned into the fact that Beck (who is also naturally kinda vain) usually doesn’t see people as anything but a danger or a nuisance. This is why she doesn’t care about stealing from them or conning them, and sometimes she even sees the act of manipulating others as kind of a game. It’s why if she feels slighted, she doesn’t feel even slightly sorry for sending a hex your way. She doesn’t even get pissed off about it really. It’s just like “oh he’s a prick... I’ll turn him into a cow for a week or so.” And she doesn’t think at all about how royally that could fuck someone up in their head, especially if they didn’t know about magic. She doesn’t care. 

She’ll hex people to get out of tight spots too. I won’t say she likes this, but if she feels it’s beneficial enough she won’t blink an eye. 

Like I said she’ll steal, and she’ll spy too. Now she’s not about to go steal like, national information that could endanger millions, but if you want a private investigator that doesn’t give a fuck about laws or privacy just go to Beck.

Probably the worst thing is that a lot of the times she is just either completely unaware of the problems of others or she doesn’t care unless it is extreme. She’s not going to let someone hurt a kid or beat a woman or something like that if she’s in a position where she knows about it and can stop it... but she won’t readily put herself in harm’s way just to help someone else either. It’s not a heroic “I must act now!” sort of thing if she gets involved. Even her work with the SoE in some verses where it is literally her job to remove people that are being abused from situations where the law won’t help, she does it because she feels like she owes the SoE a debt and she almost never puts herself at risk during that time.

Beck just---doesn’t consider people. Often her attempts to make them happy are a result of old coping mechanisms, channeling her own hyperactive energy, or an attempt to make them more pliable for manipulation. 

Beck is extremely difficult to get close to on a real level. After two years on this blog I can honestly say she’s got maybe one person SHE would call a friend outside of the muses I write and have given her extended history with. Even in many of her relationships, while she’s gotten to the point where she cares about the other person some and has started to think about how they might feel in a situation and put that on equal footing as how she feels.

I enjoy writing this because I feel like lots of people use this trait, but that they do it differently. Distant characters are often painted as cold sarcastic loners who are just kind of assholes. That’s not Beck. She’s very warm and bubbly and she can be attracted to people, interested in people, and kind to people, all while consistently lying to them, keeping her true feelings bottled up, and lacking trust in them entirely. And like I said she doesn’t really realize that she devalues people like this, but she does. She only realizes it later when she starts to care for them and often has to dig herself out of a mountain of lies she’s told. Some of which are even actively dangerous to the other person.

#hc #leave-one-wolf-alive

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Korean Bone Rank System – Moon gave the church businesses to his blood relatives

The system was based on a person’s hereditary bloodline. One’s birth was by far the most important factor in determining the level in society one might reach as an adult. This resulted in a stagnation of talent....

Nansook Hong: “Even the aristocracy in the ancient Korean kingdom of Silla was classified according to what was known as the bone-rank system, or golpum-jedo (골품제도, 骨品制度). [It was strictly based on a person’s hereditary bloodline and there was very little chance of social mobility. It thus acted as a caste system. A person’s bone rank governed their official status and the level of authority they were permitted to wield and their marriage rights, and also the color of their garments and the maximum dimensions of their dwelling, etc.] 

The elite were divided into three classes: the seonggol (성골, 聖骨), or holy bone class, from which the sacred kings sprang; the jingol (진골, 眞骨), the true bone class or the upper aristocracy; and the dupum (두품, 頭品), head classes, which included all other members of the aristocracy. [Below them was the non-privileged general population.] This would influence Sun Myung Moon’s organization of his own religion.” LINK

Pak Chung-hwa (pages 200, 242-3, etc., from The Tragedy of the Six Marys) : 

“The time from 1953, when I was with Sun Myung Moon, until I went to the Seojin mine in 1956 was when we faced the hardest time in the development of the Unification Church. Back then there were no relatives of Sun Myung Moon in the church organization. Later Moon Seong-kyun, Moon Yong-seon [and Moon Seong-yong] came in, and as the economic foundation of the Unification Church grew, almost all of the management positions came to be held by relatives of Sun Myung Moon.

The first relative of Mr. Moon who joined the church was Mr. Moon Seong-kyun. When Mr. Moon bought a Jeep [on July 7, 1957], he was hired as a driver. The next one to join was Mr. Moon Yong-seon who worked at the porcelain factory in Asan. That was all. When I was actively working with Mr. Moon, there were no other relatives of Mr. Moon.

Now a lot of his relatives are working in the church, and it has caused a lot of ill feelings from the other members. This may contradict his doctrine. Mr. Moon told us that stealing money from the bank is a crime under the law of Satan, but it is not a crime under his doctrine. Many women stole money from their husbands for Mr. Moon. This helped to build the present Unification Church.

The economic foundation built by such members is now handled by Mr. Moon’s relatives. Most of founding members of the church have been expelled. The only ones left are Lee Soo-kyoung who is in charge of the Il-Shin Company and Kim Won-pil (who died in 2010) for the Il-Hwa Food Company. ...

At one time, I met Eu Hyo-yeong, President of Il-Shin Stone Co. Ltd., (above) for a meal. (Eu Hyo-yeong left the Unification Church in 1992.) 

While we were eating, he told me a story. In his account Eu Hyo-yeong said that at the Il-Shin Stone Co. Ltd., which he managed, he had done research. As a result, he was able to produce miniature pagodas, which were reduced to 16/100 of the original size. They were sold in Japan with unexpectedly good results. The value of the exports was about 2 billion yen per month.

However, Moon Seong-yong (from one of the six villages where Sun Myung Moon came from) wanted this harvest. He demanded to divide the company and to hijack and manage the manufacturing of the miniature temples division, and pass on only the remainder to President Eu Hyo-yeong.

Eu Hyo-yeong said, “The revenue of the miniature temples manufacturing division accounted for 95 percent of the entire company and all the other businesses only amounted to the remaining 5 percent. Nevertheless he wanted to pass on to me, who had worked so hard, just 5 percent while Moon Seong-yong wanted to grab 95 percent.”

This is an outrageous idea. Il-Shin Stone was the company where Eu Hyo-yeong worked as the president, a carpenter, a worker, and even a cleaner to grow the company.

Eu Hyo-yeong was very angry and said, “It is ridiculous that people who have no relationship with the company are jumping in and are trying to take over.”

In fact, it is Sun Myung Moon himself who knows best that he himself is not the second coming messiah. I came to think that he was implementing a plan to secure his future life base by handing the assets of Unification Church to his relatives whom he could trust.”

▲ Sun Myung Moon, Eu Hyo-yeong, Eu Hyo-min and Kim Won-pil

Eu Hyo-min: “The air rifle business went into full production from 1961. They were exported to Japan as well. The factory price of each air rifle was about 10,000 won (about 300,000 won in 1993 when adjusted for inflation) and about 150,000 rifles were sold. The total revenue was about 1.5 billion won. This was a cash cow for the Unification Church.

I invented the new air rifle which could use buckshot. However, I could not be the president of the Tongil Industry company because of the so-called 7.4 incident. (The July 4, 1955 incident concerned Moon in a sex scandal with Ewha Womans University students.) At that time I had been imprisoned with Moon and, due to my criminal record, I was not eligible to hold a firearm manufacturing permit.

So Kim In-chul became the president, Moon Seung-yong, who was a second cousin of Moon’s, became the factory manager and his brother became the production manager. And I, the inventor, became the assembly manager, a strange position which no one had ever heard of. The gun was patented to Moon, who instructed the second gun patent be transferred directly to himself.

The company executives were all relatives of Moon. They would all flaunt their wealth, each driving his own car at a time in Korea when most people could not afford to own one. All except for me, I had to walk. I thought that they were more into money-making than a life of faith. It was nepotism which was just about money. Soon this attitude manifested itself in more obvious ways.

They said, “You are good at taking photographs. Why don’t you run a photo studio?” To me it sounded like a mere joke. If I had wanted to run a photo studio, I could have done it on my own. I felt very resentful.

As the air rifle business was on track, and I knew too much about Moon’s relationships with women, they didn’t need me any more – even though I had invented the air rifle that could use buckshot! I, the inventor, was no longer needed. They were hinting that I should quit.

One day in 1971, I thought that I would have a talk with Moon, who had just come back to Korea from the U.S. I contacted Choi Won-bok, whom the church members surrounding her called ‘Mother.’ She was the closest of the attendants to Moon. She told me that I could meet Moon without making an appointment – I just needed to come to the church. So I went. As usual many people were gathered around waiting to see Moon. As the midnight curfew approached, one by one people started to go home. I had to wait until eventually only Moon and I were left. When I straightened my back thinking “Finally I can discuss thoroughly about the future,” Moon passed behind me and disappeared into the room next door. I thought he was going to the restroom and waited, but he never came back.

I am a gentle person but this made me furious. My whole body was shaking with anger, and I couldn’t steady myself. I had devoted all kinds of work and service to Moon and the Unification Church. I had received an award for enduring prison with Moon, a model award, a 14-year achievement award and an award for mission work. I spent most of my time at the church, and had served him day and night, following him around like a shadow. I had never opposed his teachings or given him any trouble. Since I knew too much about his relationships with women and his financial matters, he now shunned me and betrayed me. Because of this, I left the Unification Church for good.

My experience was exactly the same as Pak Chung-hwa’s experience so I could understand his resentment very well.” LINK

Ewha Womans University sex scandal as told in the 1955 newspapers

The Tragedy of the Six Marys website

Huge FFWPU scam in Japan (involving Black Heung Jin) is revealed

#Bone rank system #Nansook Hong #Sun Myung Moon #Pak Chung-hwa #Eu Hyo-yeong #Eu Hyo-min

[doktorcrimson]

I still can’t believe I fucking got into med school

In my previous post I mentioned I got accepted into medical school, and damn I still can’t believe that happened (  ﾟДﾟ)

DOKTOR CRIMSON IS ACTUALLY GONNA BE DOCTOR CRIMSON WAT

I was looking at American Association of Medical Colleges (AAMC) data sheets earlier and HOLY COW I can’t believe how lucky I am to even be offered an acceptance! Not to mention that I got into one of my top choices, a wonderful school with excellent academic programs and diverse patient populations. I am truly grateful to be in this position and so proud of myself...

FUCK YEAH DOCTOR CRIMSON!

Keep reading if you don’t mind me rambling.

Just to give a rough idea how competitive MD programs are in the US. There are roughly 150 accredited MD schools total. Usually a school receives a few thousand applications per year. Some schools may receive 10k+. Schools only accept enough to fill a class of about 100 students (some schools accept more, some schools accept less). That means the average acceptance rate for med school is about 5%. If you compare this to applying to college, you are literally applying to Harvard everywhere.... Out of 53042 applicants total in the US, only 21030 get accepted somewhere. That means 60% of applicants don’t get in anywhere every year, and that’s quite scary.

I had no fucking idea if I would get in or not. Like many have said, this process is literally a crapshoot (;o;)

The school I will be attending this fall had about 8k+ applications total. They only accept enough to fill a class of roughly less than 200 students. That’s a little more than 2% of all applicants for this school....

HOW THE FUCK DID I BECOME THE 2%??? Like I checked the facebook page for my class and I saw people who went to college at Harvard, UPenn, Princeton etc.?

I guess hard work does pay off and I’m not too dumb haha (ﾟ∀ﾟﾉ)ﾉ

So lemme talk about my application process last year. There’s a forum called Student Doctor Network (SDN) that I usually go to for resources applying to med school. People who post there are typically higher achievers compared to average applicants. When I was on the waitlist, seeing people getting multiple acceptances and even having the luxury to decide between school A vs. B really got me at the low point. 

I submitted 26-27 primaries back in July but ended up only being complete at 23 schools due to budget. Unlike some superstar applicants I didn’t get an early interview in August/September nor did I get an outright acceptance mid-October. My first interview came from my state school in October and I got my second interview in November. Normally my state school would be my best bet in getting into medical school since they have an in-state preference. However, my state school interview resulted in a rejection right before my second interview (like the decision was made literally a week before). 

I cried like an idiot that day and the following day. I didn’t want to tell anyone and I thought getting into med school was over for me. I got rejected by my state school, the school with the highest probability of being accepted at all. How am I supposed to get in a school that is ranked much better and more competitive than my state school? Honestly, I fucked up that interview myself and I knew what I did wrong (I regretted it right after I did it). I walked out of that interview feeling rather miserable and uncertain. Also part of it was because I was inexperienced and probably should’ve prepared more for my first interview. But still, it hurt, and it hurt a lot. Even today whenever I think about it, it’ll always an opportunity I missed. If I did get accepted to my state school, things would be very different right now.

I was lost. I finally decided to tell only one person, my good senpai and friend, who also happened to be an MD-PhD student. He told me to do a mock interview if possible. So I did it, got some feedback. Didn’t feel like I’ve improved much but more practice is always better. I went to my second interview with a much-relaxed attitude. My second interview was at the school that eventually accepted me and was the 2nd or 3rd school I wanted to go to out of my top choices (my #1 choice rejected me pre-interview haha). It felt really different than my first interview. I actually liked the school better despite I didn’t know anyone in the area nor did I have many ties to the school. I could tell my conversation between me and my interviewer was much better than my first interview. He even asked me about my art and con experiences, which probably had some influence in getting me an acceptance. I drew him a little sketch doodle with a person sitting in a coffee mug at the end of my interview. I walked out feeling confident, and the rest of the interviews I attended never gave me that same feeling.  

It then became a long wait until February when I finally received more interviews. But then again it was late in the cycle, I didn’t have much hope getting into those schools. I was placed on the supposedly high priority waitlist from the 2nd school I interviewed at the same month. After attending those other interviews, I knew the 2nd school, one of my top choices out of all schools, would be my best bet getting in at that point. With the help of a friend editing, I submitted an update letter within the same day I received the wait list status.

It was then another long wait. After May 1st med school traffic day, I was anxiously waiting for waitlist movements. A batch of waitlist acceptances had gone out the first week for the 2nd school I interviewed at. If I couldn’t get in somewhere during May, I would have to prepare for another application cycle. I was also looking for a new job at the same time since my current job didn’t pay much, let alone the fact I needed more money if I had to go through this application process again. I was extremely stressed. Other schools I interviewed at also threw me on their waitlists. My relationship with my family wasn’t great at that point either. I wanted to give up so much. I kept thinking: what did I do wrong this cycle? My GPA and MCAT definitely weren’t the factors keeping me out of med school. I had a good amount of clinical experience and research. My other extracurriculars weren’t extraordinary, but it did have some uniqueness. I guess it was it my interview? I mean, I’m not the most talkative person but I think I’m alright in small conversations. I admit I’m rather low energy compared to even a lot of other introverts, but how would I improve that next time? Should I just give up?

I was ready to meet with my pre-med advisor that Saturday morning for a new committee letter. I decided to check my email once more before I left the door.

HOLY GOD OF CHEESECAKES I DON’T HAVE TO APPLY AGAIN ANYMORE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA

And that’s my med school application year in a summary.

Big hugs and gross smooches to @theathelier~ I literally would’ve never made it to med school without your essay edits and emotional support! You know how upset I was those months before May. I tend to not show it in front of others but deep inside I was struggling very hard. I had some really negative thoughts at some point (really negative thoughts) but I keep thinking about you and other friends who have shown me support (yes, thank you @phoodledoodles for starting a med school specifically for me with a 1:1 student to faculty ratio and guaranteed nap time every day if I didn’t get in). I would’ve felt so guilty if I didn’t get in this cycle because all the effort you put in reading my essays QAQ Love you and I will make my best attempt to visit! *we still need to go to that pho place together*

@phoodledoodles @aeryecho I love you both, too <3

I’d like to mention @shinionlydrawsfreestyle for being my secret role model during my application cycle haha *senpai plz notice me face* I actually remember you on SDN from last application cycle (along with bananafish haha), I never expected to find your tumblr page. At first I felt yeah I’m probably the only weeb trash artist that does cons and digital art as a hobby while pursuing a main career that’s not even remotely related. And then I was searching “reviews for acrylic charms” and I found your blog and I read your bio that you said you were a med student and I went HOLY CRAP I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE. 

Congrats on finishing MS1 and good luck next year studying step 1, senpai!

Ah if my secondaries were like this post I would’ve never gotten in med school :P Thanks for reading if you got this far.

Love and Peace~

#doktor crimson #not art

[themachiavellianpig]

The Walking Dead, Episode 13: Roads Not Taken

Episode 13 of The Walking Dead, and it’s the end of an era. Safe travels, Michonne; hopefully we’ll see you again someday. 

Full review and extensive spoilers below. 

Throughout this episode, the last for Danai Gurira, we follow Michonne’s attempts to help out the mysterious Virgil in exchange for the weapons which are absolutely definitely somewhere on his island, promise. 

Really, were any of us surprised when the weapons turned out to be a lie? Virgil didn’t have anything to trade, but he was perfectly willing to take advantage of Michonne’s well-honed survival techniques to clear out the walkers from his island and, at long last, put his family to rest. 

It’s a shame that we only get to see the shattered remains of this community - it was isolated from hordes of walkers, growing their own food and with their own solar power set-up, and and it may have been a pretty decent place to try and ride out the apocalypse, once upon a time. The early sign that things were not quite so utopian as all that, however, comes in the form of a map of the island, with clearly defined ‘Groups’ labelled on it. Whoever was living here, they were not a united community. 

The overrun building containing a whole mess of walkers and, allegedly, Virgil’s family, was suitably creepy. The fact that Michonne could clear it single-handed and with a handicap in the form of someone who - a decade into the end of the world - still hasn’t learnt how to stay quiet or kill walkers, speaks volumes as to her skills - and also to the difficulty in maintaining an air of danger in a world where most people are pretty well-equipped to take care of themselves. It’s been a long time since any of our survivors ran and hid from a handful of the dead. 

The overrun building also has a deeply creepy room, in which a large number of survivors chose to hang themselves rather than face the undead. Canonically, that’s where Virgil’s family ended up. And while I do understand “the better to die than be killed” mindset, especially in a world where far too many people die by being eaten alive by the undead, it’s another sign that something went terribly, terribly wrong here - why couldn’t the people escape from the building? Why didn’t the rest of the community come to get them? 

The sense of niggling unease seems to affect Michonne as much as it affected me - when told to wait until morning to search the rest of the island for important supplies, she instead goes for a wander, and finds something rather surprising. 

I have to admit, while I fully expected Virgil to be lying about the weapons, I was not expecting him to be a former scientist who had trapped some of his former colleagues in some sort of cell, or for him to then lock Michonne in a cell when she discovered his dark and terrible secret. 

Fortunately, the three helpful co-workers (Jeremiah, Celeste, and Lucy) fill in some of the blanks in Virgil’s story. The island was, instead, once a thriving community - one which even took people in. But when a fight broke out over dwindling resources, Virgil’s solution was to seal the entire group in and wait for the dust to settle. 

To make such a choice seems monstrous. To make it without knowing where your family is seems somehow even worse. 

Virgil helpfully continues to lean into his new Bond Villain persona by drugging the holy heck out of Michonne, forcing her to go on some sort of messed-up vision quest to help her "see the truth." Unfortunately, while Virgil's drug fuelled experiences seem to be of the positive sort, Michonne's take her on a much darker journey. 

Specifically, it takes her down the road-not-taken, which is such a weakness of mine. The choice of defining moment for Michonne is a beautiful one - for Michonne, the single moment that changed her entire life for the better was the moment she chose to save Andrea, way back at the very end of Season 2, the first time we as an audience ever saw her. The decision to save Andrea brought Michonne back into the land of the living, which then eventually led her to Rick's group and to the creation of her own new family with the Grimeses. 

Without that decision to save Andrea, Michonne stays alone in that dark place that used to be her existence; a later attempt to rejoin civilisation goes badly when Michonne becomes the person with the orange backpack that Rick refused to help - although as Andrew Lincoln has left the show by this point, it's actually Daryl that gets the car moving again before Michonne can catch them up. Finally, AU!Michonne runs into the Saviours, and has a decent attempt at decapitating Negan before agreeing to join this new outfit. She ends up at the Satellite Outpost, and kills Glenn and Heath when they hesitate over killing sleeping Saviours. She raises the alarm against the Alexandrians, and takes her revenge for her murdered friends at the line-up, when Negan hands Lucille to his "right-hand woman". Finally, she's shot and killed during the war by Daryl and Rick. 

The whole sequence is beautifully put together, reusing old footage from previous episodes and slicing it together with new footage of Michonne the Saviour - it was deeply, deeply weird to see Rick back on the screen, even if only for a moment, and opens up all sorts of questions about what happened to Rick's group in that alternate timeline - their presence in the Saviour War would imply that they still lost the prison, so maybe the Governor was still a problem even when the group wasn't harbouring Michonne. Glenn's death at the Satellite Outpost would change Maggie's storyline significantly, and raises the question of if there was a second victim at the lineup. 

Ultimately, the whole sequence just reinforces the idea that the single biggest factor in this new world is the people who end up around you - Judith told Mary/Gamma that she would have been a better person if she'd found a better leader than Alpha to follow, and obviously the reverse is true - Michonne, or indeed any of our heroes, would have been far, far worse if they'd fallen in with different crowds. 

When the drugs wear off, leaving Michonne back in the actual hell of her cell rather than the metaphorical hell of the road-not-taken, Michonne understandable decides that she's had enough of all of this and promptly stabs Virgil with some cutlery and escapes. She released the trapped colleagues, hunts down Virgil on the Island (but not before he manages to torch the only boat in a moment of pure idiotic spite), and then convinces Virgil's newly-freed victims not to kill him for what he did to them. Amazingly, they listen. 

And then the episode starts to take a real turn. 

While gathering her equipment back up, Michonne finds a very, very familiar set of boots - the very worn cowboy boots that saw Rick Grimes through almost 9 seasons of The Walking Dead. Of course, one pair of boots does not really a mystery make - but an old phone, with a portrait of Michonne and Judith on the front with the name Rick Grimes and "Believe a little bit longer" in Japanese, that's definitely a mystery. A mystery which, for the record, Virgil denies having anything to do with - he never knew the people who were once on the boat where the boots and the phone were stored, the boat just washed up after a storm. 

But Virgil agrees to get the boat working again, and the groups sets off for the mainland again - leaving Virgil behind on the Island with his family, at his own request. 

And then we come to Michonne's big decision. Faced with proof that Rick didn't die on the bridge, she has a terrible choice to make - staying with her children or abandoning Rick to whatever bad situation he's found himself in. 

Fortunately, it is not a decision that she has to make alone. She finally gets Judith back on the radio, telling her daughter what she has found, and it's ultimately Judith who tells her to go and find Rick. They're in perfect agreement that Rick would not have stayed away for so long voluntarily - someone or something must be keeping him away, and so he must need help. What if he's trying to get home, Judith asks, but no one will help him? 

It's the permission that Michonne needs - she heads off to find Rick, taking a few Walker buddies along for protection. 

And in the final scene of the episode, and presumably our last sighting of Michonne for quite some time, we get to see her abandoning her dead companions once again in order to help the living - to help two humans, in danger of being left behind by their group because they can't move quickly enough - and what a group it is, a full-on exodus of humans moving in columns and herding what looks like horses or cows along with them. Post-apocalyptic cowboys, perhaps? 

Ever since Danai Gurira's departure from the show was announced, I was curious about how they would manage it without killing her off - for Michonne to leave the community without her children seemed unrealistic at the beginning of the season, and taking the remaining Grimes children out of the show would change the world of the Walking Dead in a way which I wasn't entirely sure would work, especially given my lingering disappointment with the decision to kill of Carl and rob us of the chance to see how people grow and develop in this bold new world. But the decision to have Michonne follow Rick, with her daughter's blessing, was a good balance, and opens the door very firmly for Michonne to make an appearance in those Rick Grimes films we've been promised. 

Lord knows I would dearly like to see Michonne on the big screen as well, when that time finally comes. 

Previous Season 10 reviews are available here. 

#The Walking Dead #twd #Danai Gurira #season 10 spoilers #episode review #Episode Recap #themachiavellianpig watches

[99istifada]

CNC Shop Tour | 5th Axis: PHENOMENAL Workholding Solutions & Embracing Social Media Community!

I love this yeah robot arms testing awesome folks we really want to make an open-source it's also cool to see America become more efficient everyone loves the a word automation but you know really how do you do it what do you buy do you actually buy this do you put up the light curtain you go to the Cova you load vices do you load raw material what are the consequences I love this yeah robot arms testing I've only been here for like 00 minutes and they've already brought up Raspberry Pi and automation and sensors it's awesome folks we are here at 0th axis in San Diego yep San Diego California I'm here with Matt how's it going guy and Chris and we're gonna get to see automation robots and some pretty awesome machine tools let's let's take a tour you have this entrepreneurial story of being a manufacturer that then ended up moving into workholding yeah correct we started as a chop shop and now about one third of our business is still contract ok factory up then 0/0 of it now approximately is the wore clothing product line and that's all here yeah yup and you are you are this is your story you started it Steve my business partner myself started 0th axis about 00 years ago ok and yeah Dave all this by ourselves so you did you call it thick that 0th axis then we had a consulting company and so for the first few months it was run under that name but yeah very early on we named it fifth axis our first machine that we ordered was a haas VF 0 TR about five axes and I'll try to envision like you know pops oh yeah a never yes that was our very first that was what started that happening was we saw you know haas came out with a five axis machine that somebody could sort of afford yes you know what was a legacy where you they were you know you would find a five axis of General Electric and there were a million dollars right and so Hoss really kind of tipped that scale that's kind of what caught us you know started we saw five axis machine running away oh my gosh look at the capabilities and all the things this is gonna be the future we got to get into this yeah and so that and that was like 0000 000 for I got in its I cannot emphasize this enough folks the folks that have followed our story we've been doing this for 00 years now it has been completely rejuvenating to have a 0 access machine now this the way you think the way you use cam the way you run presses reliability fixturing probing and just not having to set up soft jobs multiple parts picking up coordinate systems like I only say this because it wasn't until I I knew it but until you do it that's when you clicks yeah and then our guys you know they get more and more partial okay come on we can do this on a three axis you know no all 0b else for those but they all want to use some real high-end machines yeah everybody wants to drive the Ferrari to worry yeah right and we're like you know the price on the racetrack right now drive your Toyota truck to work yeah awesome good sweet so what's going on here so right now we're running trucks that go in our small bikes okay 00 parts at a time on a little pyramid okay that's actually rock lock Fiona teams between different parts but early does a lot of our precision tooling okay okay okay chairs trucks what's the material these are forty one forty and they're heat treated to around 0000 Wroclaw semi-hard yeah yeah oh that's awesome and do you tap or thread Millville DC Fresno okay control yeah matter got it actually Brian yeah got it yeah we're just cruising around so when we switch to a different part number we do a couple other tears that real standard ones yeah so this one around eight parts of the key on this one three at a time yeah and so you know we've got a nice family of hard to get on here and it's all like Urmi yeah okay so it's a standard herm la platter but then you put the rock lock on it yeah and so right now you've got the quad or what do you call that the four-sided yeah I would have to read oh yeah right but you just you just it's just like our rock hug you just do two screws or something and then you can pop yeah yeah so that's a standard rock lock Beach yeah yeah awesome the Harmony has laser tool measurement Pro being a lot of nice bells and whistles yeah but you know and then it's a very stable precision machine yeah great for doing you know plus or minus 0/0 00th tooling like we're doing here yeah d what year it is the sinks older a man that has been reliably ok we can look at the planer yeah yeah it's like an oh 000 something an old I mean 0000 survived chaotic then you went did you go for a Haas vf0 TR to this that quickly um so the Hurley we've got in like oh seven okay yeah it's not that long so pretty quickly yeah we got a contract to do I'm not these parts put some bladed parts on it and found limitations after that speed of the hosta specially back in yeah and then also the software we were using master cam yeah especially back then yeah not really capable and so that's when we switched to hypermile and got the normally this is like what you want her foots so hsk 00 machine are you sir these are hsk 00s ago in the small microns oh okay got it the hardly run sixty three okay pretty beefy machinist so these that's pretty cool right now they're probing the blank yeah so this is kind of you guys intermix job chop work with work holding products yeah and then some machines are more dedicated for the work holding like the Harmelin really does all work holding you know this machine will do a mix yeah and then we'll see some other machines that are like dedicated to all work whole damn and this one that looked like how to built-in automation from the addition this one has a 0 palette yep that's the system 0r ok so it's got the robot on there there's just automatically and ramadhan awesome sweet the wax is really hard on the machines and messy riza we only run brutal really so if you're familiar with wax in a surfboard no oh hi oh okay so you rub it on there and it continues to build up oh so you rub wax on your like linear bearings on it and flavor comes off it like kind of adds like little by little and so next thing you know your linear bearing just grenades you're like oh there goes $00,000 she's like scrape it or clean it or so we only run two parts and then we'll stop back and clean the machine that makes her wax isn't getting packed into places it shouldn't be I always think of like the machinist wax as being like the learning like using material great tool it's easy on the cutting tool setup you know but yeah and you're doing production and you got lots of it it gets in nooks and crannies yeah and the machines are really built to deal with metal chips true not not something that actually kind of melts yeah spend more time probing than we do machining you guys turn the bikes yeah we do yeah we turn them on hostel room lanes just go sir because it's open and it's so easy to clean again and got all this wax okay you put all that wax in like an enclosed turning centre and like you know the tool room is so much easier to clean and maintain here's a lotta machine another micron Sekou there is another micron this one is running the medium size of ice trucks to parts at a time okay similar to the small one we're running four parts at a time Laser tool management yep oh that was a factor these strike me is one of those parts that actually could be done on a fourth axis the Red Mill so we so this is interesting is this the other micron was supported on the far side is this one also or is it only supported on the backside all the microns except for our five hundreds or cantilever bike they are cantilever okay yeah got it yeah so we could look at the 000 IU's it's a smaller one yeah and it's similar but Chandler we've got three of those oh that's awesome look at that motion that's insane holy cow is that a linear machine you know no this is a ball screw but it is oh my god the other two are linear I was gonna ask if you run panic or Seema's or it's a tall hide behind all of our high-end machines are high tonight I would say that probably the Siemens at this point is that equally is good okay you know in the past high mine was absolutely the best five axis control period now you know all the controls are so fast that you're not seeing Layton sees and things like that and so we just stick with i-00 so it's standard right you know we like the hind line we are those a workload apartment no that's a job shop boring and so we're getting four parts per cycle and then these machines have a 00 pallet automation system oh yeah baby pallet is 00 parts on a load all right right you feel the thing I don't know how many we have Oh quite a few oh my god yeah looking at 00 so they've got 00 going so on these you'll do an OP 0 to do a stock press this one has a dovetail PF yeah uh-huh yeah you can see the stock here there's a bunch of it here ok and then it's got the two locating pins you need to well they're running to dovetail fixture so yeah got it okay right this pyramid allows you to do one two or three okay on there you can see this one still has a leaner or got it so this one has still has the third fixture on there yeah that's the perfect like I totally get it now that I actually had a machine like when you think about the angle it's mean tell that and presented to the spindle yeah and how your ARB is this is important awesome so we have two of the grove chief 000s and then they have the +00 tool magazine which gives us a hundred and forty ish tools these are amazing machine real stable real reliable yeah after years of messing with it we finally got a combination of the right work you know you're gonna have the customers are gonna have the volume and then you gotta have the automation everything dialed in we've been running 00 hours 00/0 so we'll run with nobody here maybe something they'll check in all through the weekend come in Monday morning and the thing's full of finished parts also shop owners dream right yeah I know it really is that's awesome a lot more work than that everybody wants to make it out to but yeah oh these are these are celled together on all right so we have two identical groves and grow a robot that feeds both look at that oh so you're making the base right now on the base yeah so that's making them rock lock faces yeah Coco Hall so we designed the whole robot enclosure so that we can actually move this over and access one machine and then the robot can still operate the second to feed Steve and one of our engineers designed and implemented the whole thing with all the double safety interlocks yeah all the ocean stuff and developed it so that an operator can access you can do setup so you can work on the machine doesn't interfere with the robot the unwanted production on the other machine our first attempt at this when somebody would work on one machine shut the whole cell down and then they'd go to lunch and forget to hit the bottom and now the other machines sitting there for like two hours and they're like you know so so we kind of designed the fencing and the safety interlock system so that we would always keep going you don't have that pressure of sweeping the party and quicker you can get rid of it tonight oh ho look at that it's doing a simultaneous tamper something yeah probably Bieber yeah that's awesome that's it uh-huh yeah cuz if you look yeah there's a C on inside here where these features cross over yeah so he can come in five axis and Bieber that cross it with a lollipop and I think the saw like it's got to look perfect you can't have like oh the deeper guys slipped and there's a scratch on it we can't sell that those end up in this scrap bin so the more t-bar we can do on the machine the less I can touch less risk of any like imperfections you can see were burned in a little bit of cycle time but you know it's worth it so that one finished before this one the robot did a gripper team to grab the gripper for this whole pallet got it so this system can load two different sized College oh my got a loop puts it back yeah how many did it how many did that hold six not one holds four rows so 00 so we got sixty in there kind of reminds me of like the Hermit HS flex where you've got the ability to change and effectors tools work holding pallets to and washdown that's a lot of weight yeah yeah the Aurora system can hold I don't know three hundred pounds or Athene that's one of the differences with the robotic arm to be able to lift a reasonable amount of weight the robotic arms become just massive it was this stressful to build out and think about it was a lot of work yeah you know we 0d models everything and you don't do it wrong right I mean you can't know because you know if you're off I mean the robots programmable but if you're off by too much then you gotta like bring a rigor back in to move yeah the Groves I just mean like we don't want to buy the wrong mix of pallets or the wrong style robot yeah and then you add a third machine did a lot of research before we pick the Eroica awesome oh so that's literally how he's now gonna load the next part yeah that's awesome yeah so that's the five axis i0 active internal deburring and other facts these are our newest addition we've got two of the micron 000 these the ones that are like brand-new brand-new yeah been here a month and a half baby and polish yeah and this is your riser yeah this is a like a 00 millimeter like a 0 inch riser thereafter yeah yeah and then these are that right angle was yeah we were at Autodesk event and they had their VF to setup with one of these uh-huh well it was weird it was on the left side yeah that's really cool you do there's got a billet yep yeah no bottom material removal yeah fair amount uh-huh not that finishes huh only one Senate part one strap that's pretty impressive yeah I wish I could say that about all our jobs over that your workflow you'll do the one run it through a QC oh yeah yeah so we so we run a first article something like this it's precision tooling full CMM program okay you know expect the whole thing and then they'll do on these they'll do in processor like almost every part just Chuck and then they have go/no-go gauging Deltron X things like that so every single part alive key features and they're probably sort of business standpoint are you guys trying to do just in time or light in the story are you really socking up you know it's interesting because you have you know these guys don't work in the team chops come up with these buzzwords like just in time and the reality is that a machine shop the amount of work it is to get that first article dialed in to get all the stars lined up and all the schools and the links and all the cutters comped and everything going and then and then wait for QC and and so a day and a half later you're like okay everything's perfect do you want to make one you got to do some some fat sighs - you know amortize all that fat assignment you know and they can dream in their little ivory towers that bent like somehow there's a magic where you you know recipe where you can just put a block of metal in there and push the button and make it hard Slayer in the real world we know that's not it it just doesn't work that way so when these have to get anodized or plated lady they are yeah so we try and pick batch sizes that you know aren't too massive because you don't want to sit on a ton of inventory but if they're too small you're just killing yourself with you know set up at you know somebody had this so somebody had to create all the paperwork yeah right somebody's got to write a purchase order and we've got minimum lot sizes when we anodized them yeah you know so there's all these things where GI key having it all set up where oh we got an order for one make one I find it hard to imagine a scenario or that like really makes sense when you buy the raw material for this do you have it come up so of a soft cut or are you processing that weight we've got in building three we have material storage and a balcony so we've got a really big automatic Amata okay saw like you know the super sweet yeah yeah we could pop down there pretty cool holy now oh that's that the job job job yeah so this is a project that we've been working on automating which we'll see over here on these with things you ought you enjoy what you do this is awesome yeah oh my god yeah that's cool well we just being able to have a mix of it like not that it would be boring to just make vices but like it's fun to have that you know you live and breathe what yeah well and then you've seen already all these applications where we're using our vices and in my opinion that keeps us honest and keeps our new products are like you know that's it and like all the little bugs are worked out and you know we see our competitors like they see us do something they go oh we got to make one of those but they never use it and they miss like key little features you know so I think as much as I honestly hate job shop work it's what makes us that's what makes our products like real yes yeah it's not like they're like some guy says oh I think you should view this it's like this is what we're doing and we fine-tune it to the point where we feel like we want to share it with the rest of world so so this is one larger fan of robot this feeding to robos yeah so cataract yeah and so here we're using a smaller tube CERN oh you can you put an HRT on there just to load the partes to load the part of you that's amazing oh my gosh so just have a manual indexer yeah the old-school hose right excerpt yeah oh my god can you can you rotate it so for folks that don't know this is actually kind of how gene Haas got started with building he was a 0c indexer and to this day ha still sells these for larger machines for manual machines where you want that indexing 0th axis feature I never thought about just practical well so our engineers of course they're like oh yeah I can design and build a rotary and I'm like well we got to get this thing going and we've got one of these and one of those on the shelf so let's use what we got now and two years from now when you get your design done right then we can't have anymore switch it out you know but for now we got to make parts so and the robot will load it under there as well yes yes yeah the robot oh right yeah - jelly has four positions the two machines the whole sort of storage throughout the loading station awesome so we're going to interface this with our HMI or human machine interface okay will control this it has to be at a certain a angle right for the gripper right I say yeah so that's at least new right now it's manual so yeah it's it's uh yeah it knows yeah it released it also this is the new yeah so we've got that under loading station then also in the machines so this is these machines are still limited to the like fourteen tools though or whatever they twenty tools okay twenty twenty fourth twenty four thousand rpm the pundits okay sure I know that's not what lights out machinery listen I'm not so embarrassed now because I'm looking for the switch that says light they asked my guy how to turn the lights on obviously you hit the memory buddy hey don't get me started on panic holy yeah really fast and then but I see what you mean you can see chips I mean maybe it's okay but well then if you look in the back the chips will build up and so you constantly you know every hour or so holy cow that was a faster DDR is so quick oh my god yes what you miss it that is the panic no Kenny the panic TBR fourth access yeah we got to get this on camera on another index this was insane that's cool we can do that later today oh so it's almost done so it's gonna so he's loading up okay there's our soft jaws yeah yeah oh so yeah that's our double station yeah 00 000 it's like a three by six inch version of the vise yep and then those are some custom soft eyes that we built off one runs on a dovetail okay uh on a little bit bigger tombstone and then we're also gonna be able to robot load that we went after off to first got it because the that's a bit more of our bottleneck so oh okay yeah in addition to doing this because we think it's cool unfortunately also have to pay the bills thing is this you're gonna keep this or is this gonna end up being kind of sold to a customer oh this is so this is a production job shop job that's for us but it the concept I could see we've actually already started talking about the potential to need another setup like this and then we really want to make an open-source yeah you know for other people that copy it you know if it works good you know obviously we've got a little motivation there because we'd like to sell you some by sitter but it's also cool to see America become more efficient yep you know and looks like what we were talking about earlier I think there's this kind of question of like everyone loves the a word automation but you know really how do you do it what do you buy do you actually buy this you put up the light curtain you go to the Cova if you load vices do you load raw material what are the consequences right it's interesting to see people go through that workflow so with this setup because we're loading tombstones so we can easily switch to this part so right so we could run that robotic li then you don't have to reprogram the robot yeah I know and so if other part numbers that's why we're looking at like oh can we justify another one of these and yeah that's a VF to like let's a BF to YT that with the roller cam HR tees RC yeah plays a stir yeah it's also uh huh look at that so here we've got twelve of our small vices and we're running we can look at the density if you ever use the double basses so we get two parts per vice off one yeah and then here we get that's the soft jaw soft jaws aren't you a lift soft chalk yep and we get one part per vice here so we get listen yeah these two go into there yeah they play poker so we can eat finished parts first cycle with awesome yeah and it's literally just I mean a great machine yeah but looks more common job shot machine right way yeah yeah so you know we hear people oh no like that's really cool but man the price of it you know but if if we can run twice as efficient we could ship another thousand dollars a day this thing will pay for itself in like a couple weeks so I think a lot in America especially people are sort of like short-sighted when it comes to investing in Chile like we're talking about earlier in Europe they're way more willing to invest in you know two hundred thousand dollar robot for their five hundred thousand dollar machine even if they're a little job shop and they're looking 00 years into the future where in America it seems like a lot of people are like oh what's it going to do for me tomorrow you know like when I put myself in the shoes of a shop owner you know one of the things because there's I have this is my friends aren't going or the friends I had that are doing it or doing it on the yacht so than a harmless yeah whoo cool my friends is actually putting a hundred grand into automating a hot vertical right I want to see how they succeed so I can write right over there footsteps for sure I'll be very interesting to see more that's amazing how steady they are even when multi axes are moved we missed the spin cycle they added a high-speed spin to like kind of yeah can you imagine that's scary to think of that go in a spin we added it to me and we miss it but they hunted it to the end of the program to kind of spin dry the this setup is pretty cool okay we should actually make them tear it down and set it back up no because we want to show how easy oh okay Tony tear this thing down and set it back up so we can some time doing it so you saw how easy it is he's gonna run a set of parts I wonder where that they have a map of the rock lock positions can you ask him I thought there they're not a couple amount here so he standardized the position to the rock lock place and then we have what you see in the machine is 0d model yep right he doesn't you know where everything is in CAD cam right amazing yeah and so that's a VF 0 that's a VF 0 right so this is really cool they're showing how they're handling internal versatile production without true automation like a robot or a neuro system but where they can switch jobs switch setups really quickly so they've got exactly the same rock lock base that we've got on our UMC it's just the flat version to fit on three axis and switching between one vice to the dimmer by system is what you would expect but what's pretty cool is how they handle this from a programming standpoint was back in the office where they've got the guy program it they've got a master sheet the reference is each one of the offsets fin axis actually wrote a script to handle how they push tooling names and ensure the names match the numbers is it absolute genius then you're good to go you don't have to worry about touching off parts again or loading the right program or tearing down and re setting up bases really cool how are you doing tool setting we set that all our tools off the table the machine okay a lot of people go off top apart yeah but if you take a cut on your part now where's the top of your putter doesn't you know so for us having a reference it always it you know repeats now if you want to go like preset or whatever then you're setting or if you sit the tool center yeah now you're setting like cage down so it's upside down but on the Haas simple 0x of stuff or axis we just use the table we run it awesome 00 minutes or so no no running out we need the parts we'll come back by in a little bit and then I know we can switch over to a different job and then we get also yeah that's what we want to do a switch switch the first plate over I've run some dovetails and then switch back and show how easy it is to go from one to another and then right back again yeah so Jeff one of our programmers could show us into the 0d of all this stuff which would be cool oh you got a couple of the m00 TVs these are awesome seems real precision we order them with the extra precision package they get another decimal place we order them with a the real high-end Renishaw pro yep so probing some more precision yeah Oh 00 00 yeah I've done it on the model but I know it's the extra precision one and on so this would you know cool we're doing awesome by spaces no kidding right so the answer there's your well does your key so I better to run oh that's sick yeah that's a pH horn cutter yep yeah that's really cool yeah tool Center huh on the run around it quick release so you can put that thing away if you using it because yeah we estimate we figure Renishaw makes all their money off selling that $0 part for a thousand bucks every time you break part so it's nice to be able to put it away yeah look at that this is cool this is a 0r palette for little work on actually the micron 000 we saw down there and then the two new ones also yeah and so we're building our own 0r pallets so that we can do really cool custom stuff so it's hard to tell here we can show you a 0d model of it so this will be all one integrated unit and it'll be a three-sided pyramid with rock lock build and an integral though integral that's awesome so now vertical one it you know you look at the micro and go oh bitch and it comes with a robot this is great and there you go 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 well I got a 00 minute part so what's that behind you yeah you know so now with something like this we can run you know three times that part down and get you you know maybe closer to a full ship yeah really it's nice if a robot can run a whole ship that's nice one of the guys run first second shift third shifts impossible if you're gonna have your second shift guys load the thing up and come into the morning and you're still cutting chips as you know that's value so so that's what this stuff project is yeah there's a probe right there that we were talking about I'm not sure yeah he's a 0000 I was locked in a lock oh no 000 okay damn sweet yeah the fancy one by one we're doing precision tooling you know I mean you need it I mean we're making Palace yeah I've got it ought to be right I saw a big grinder back there yeah yeah we could go by [Applause] we have to surface trainers running into more that we are about to bring online to increase our capacity holy cow yeah so he's actually grinding some of the first article parts for those three are pallets we looked at so these guys are sixty Rockwell 000c okay yeah no steaming steel they make knives and pulling out of it right so these have been machine heat treated yep now they get precision ground and then they'll get assembled into the pallet that you saw over on on the Akuma yep and then those will get loaded in the machine and then all the angles in the five axis stuff gets machine in place that's perfect great thanks so much it yeah it's a three Okamoto huh yeah we've got a fourth one as well so we've got the to run T and then the two other ones are going to be hopefully running here within the next month or so we just got another unit across the street so the kinda number them in order of when we got them so this is building one he's in building to building threes next door where we do sawing material storage building pours down below and then building live is back across the street we're fifty five sixty thousand feet total what's the UH what's this for so because the you know rock expose steel rust who are constantly brushing or rolling on Russ inhibitor sure and then we're like four miles from the ocean which is awesome because we're not air-conditioned yeah so the ocean keeps the temperature stable but you do get you know more humidity and a touch of salt in the air so it's a constant battle to fight rust beyond there you know it's amazing how cool it is for me xenical for you yeah yeah yeah being that close to the ocean there's a big difference yeah cool but the humidity set when you're cutting you know working with a lot of Steel to battle no way medium so why re diem these are the these are the keys for the three are palettes so these have been machined heat treated surface ground on both sides and then the what the angle wedge is that like lock and position it we wire cut on them on the EDM you could like do some side grind operation but site grinding is a little funky yeah and the EDM is so precision and just every sinew bashed him up in in big quantity he's running one two three four five at a time got it Oh 00 at a time sorry okay there we go so this rooms climate control and then we can split tents yeah and then it's like the cool thing about Edie and even though it's slow like the tool never wears out there yeah the first part is it identical for the last part so when you're building precision cooling it's he can set it up walk away make 00 perfect identical parts versus you know out there you'd be like Mike and everyone and then everybody knows how hard it is to measure an angle yeah a small team or it's like a nightmare you know where's the where's the corner you know so with this we actually cut two flats which you can easily measure with a micrometer and because it's all the same tool path then that ensures that the taper so perfect paintings are of God so it's a trick to allow for super easy inspection yeah of something that normally would be pretty tough to even bring it in there and put it on the vision and the vision system when you're trying to split tints you know where is the eggs yeah and and the small needles can be tough yeah the flats about halfway down the part turning yep we've got a nice Maxim awesome Akuma Oh spacing that sweet nice machine let's are our biggest slave yeah so we do like small to medium sized parts so some of the bigger rock lock bases and pyramids leaking up to almost 00 inches on here but that's about the Mac size work with you here winter it's over ladies let's just go these are the pulse yeah so we designed the mechanism to be really free floating on the rock lock so this part of it doesn't need to be very precision because the locks will adjust in mine and then also end up with because they can adjust you'll end up with real equal pressure on all yeah all four pole studs so it makes a little easier to manufacture then we only got to do you can see the two shiny surfaces we found those are of everything that's there so you know he's got a couple ten tolerance on there and we do those after he treat on the spinner okay so this is a German super precision are turning small heart turning later not very popular in America about a pretty big brand in Europe yeah cool let's got that special anti a backlash bearings and the extra you know decimal place on the controller and yeah now there's a hilarious yeah there's your picture yeah oh look at the we got a chocolate bar feet on the big one yeah that one has a bar fever yeah so your buddy is ready for us okay this is they call it the phone booth yeah a little tiny bugs are yeah so here were using we call this a pin vise we actually started selling these and nobody could wrap their head around that it's a vise and it works really good so we took it out of the catalog but we still use them eternity analysis but we don't really offer them for sale anymore yeah so it's like a small double station soft machinable bytes yeah so here we get you know half an outline to pull the whole thing off right yeah we did have a pneumatic on here and then no see which eats that plate yes that way yeah yeah look a NASA one you ever do that okay yeah so so the cool thing about these is they're late yeah so you know you've got a plate with three vices and the plate and you know we do 00 pounds or something that's how you keep it so that's one of the places you know you get value in it's compact so you know a lot of parts small density lightweight so if you have a robot that can't lift very much you know that's nice or an operator you know so a guy can pick this up and you're not going to have you know the guys I'm going to hurt his back and go out on workers comp yeah so they sold the pneumatic Chuck off of here and put it on the loading station over there it's funny how everybody else gets our stuff in our in-house shop is always fighting for scraps sure so you're gonna switch over to a different job so this is a actual situation that came up where we needed to run like I don't know 00 or so 00 they've got an 00 ducktail so we need to do yeah and so using ours and the guys come up with cool names for stuff right our to our write it off so funny all right so I got a yard okay so a programmer for this because there's only 00 parts we're only going to do one station so he's right now use it e0 e0 and e0 t okay looks like yeah and then that would be the same here yeah make it more inner inner but the dovetail program is easy because it's only a third for tool so you can actually leave it leave the tools and a couple machines around the shop and you know whatever you can squeeze it in you know the tools are already preset in the machine is the blue and that base of product of yours ya know yeah that comes we're actually having it like a kit where you get the rock off base yep and then the two blue basis and four vices come as a package even for like op 0 and stuff to go on a 0 axis like let's say it's the dovetail plus a couple of critical offs on the left side keep your density higher here yeah I like that with the heat treated parts will do a lot of that work well do some rough machining and do the dovetail then heat treat it yeah comes back from heat treat now you've got the dovetail on there and you can do all your precision put you know stuff like on the Harley one we saw is exactly that where they've got multiple dovetails on a little tree and yeah then you've moved that rough machining you know preheat treat and on to a less expensive machine yeah yeah I love that this program that is one right yeah up one side down the other yeah a big thank you and a shout out to fifth access for for the hospitality and for letting us come in film they're modern manufacturing isn't always easy and being in the San Diego area as they've grown they've had to separate out in the building so most of what you saw was their main production facility but we also spent some time in seeing how they store their inventory how they assemble do the QC and the vise alignment they even showed us one of the prototypes for their new soft draw style system on one of their smaller vices and I said I realized sure there's on camera and they said absolutely and I think that really says it all I think a lot of their success has come from how they've embraced modern manufacturing sharing and paying it forward and how they've embraced this social media community so hope you folks learn something hope you enjoy take care see

CNC Shop Tour | 5th Axis: PHENOMENAL Workholding Solutions & Embracing Social Media Community! nyc cnc via www.99istifada.com

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[taverngoodies]

Cinder + Emerald

Cinder Fall paced back and forth in her private quarters. Her glass slippers clinked loudly as she stamped them against the cold stone tiles, anger boiling inside her chest. She was fucking PISSED. Nothing had gone right today, not a single goddamn thing, from her latest failed operation to the glass of milk she’d spilled down her dress over dinner.

It was that tempestuous rage that Emerald found herself walking into, bashfully entering Cinder’s room and closing the door behind her. She knew why she had been summoned here - when Cinder fell victim to her fiery temper, there was only one way for her to calm down, and that was by taking those frustrations out on her. Emerald owed everything to her boss and was well used to being well-used by her, but that didn’t make these occasions any less frightening. She swallowed the nerves in her throat, her flesh stirring with belied anticipation and the memories of their previous encounters.

“You c-called, Cinder?”

As mad as she was right now, Cinder licked her lips at the sight of her prey. The girl had dressed herself suitably for the part she would be playing, the clothes leaving little at all to the imagination. Her big, dusky breasts threatened to spill out of the teensy green bra that tried desperately to contain them, the fat nipples already hard and poking through the fabric. Her huge, child-birthing hips sashayed hypnotically from side to side with every lusty step she took, accentuating her thin waist and her fat ass. Those fat, rippling asscheeks! Cinder bared her teeth, hungry to sink her teeth into those chocolate globes, curtained off only by the merest layer of white silk hugging her lower body. The half-maiden closed the distance with thundering pace, and she could see from the green-haired thief’s quivering expression that she was well and truly cowed into submission. PERFECT. She wouldn’t have it any other way. She slammed a hand against the wall behind Emerald, making her squeak and jump nearly a foot in the air. But that was nothing, and with her other hand she struck the girl’s face so hard that her head cracked sideways.

“Don’t you fucking speak to me out of turn!” Her cruel words assaulted Emerald’s ears even as they rang with the power of that slap, and she cast her eyes obediently downward. She LOVED it when Cinder was like this, treating her like the naughty piece of trash she really was deep down! But she couldn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything without her master’s permission, only hope that she would make her hurt more and more, dominate her like she deserved.

Cinder hooked a finger into the flimsy ribbon tied around Emerald’s wide hips. She ripped it away with a savage grin, the feeling of total control spinning the day’s anger into sheer satisfaction. She didn’t need any fancy lingerie or aromatic candles to get her in the mood. All she needed was a walking piece of meat with two eyes, a wet little mouth, rippling curves in all the right places and enough sense in her dumb-cunt head to know EXACTLY what her place was. Emerald ticked all of those boxes wonderfully … plus one more very important factor that she would be utterly useless without. The transparent cloth tumbled away and revealed her favourite toy, the mammoth fuckstick between Emerald’s legs, eighteen CUNT-BUSTING inches of fat horse cock! The smooth mottled skin seemed to go on forever, so big that the pink, flared head swung down beyond her knees~ Emerald blushed with apparent shame, but the beast below betrayed her true feelings, the coin-sized cumhole already dripping with thick strings of pearlescent pre-slop. Cinder grabbed that huge length in her hand and squeezed tight with her vice-like grip, and PULLED hard like she wanted to rip the whole monstrous thing off. Emerald winced and chewed her lip, it hurt so bad and it felt so fucking GOOD!

“Look at this fucking thing.” Cinder yanked Emerald by the hair and forced her to stare at her cockmeat, stretching the shaft towards her as she pinned the thief in place against the wall. “It belongs on a farm animal. Are you a farm animal, Emerald?!”

“Yes, Cinder,” mumbled Emerald, tears welling in the corner of her eyes as the dark-haired beauty tormented her cock. “Yes, I’m a fucking farm animal! I’m nothing but a lowly cockpig, my only job is to serve you, to make you feel good!”

Cinder sneered and jerked off that fat meat faster. Ballpaste spewed from the tip and stained her full-length red dress in dark streaks, dripping down to coat her plump thighs and running in rivulets down to her ankles. It really was an amazing dick~ How many times had she fucked herself on this giant breedspire? Enough to turn her underling into a sex-stupid slave, for sure, but no matter how much she beat and bruised and brutalised Emerald the girl never once complained. If anything, she took the punishment more eagerly with every day. If there was such a thing as love in this world … but Cinder stopped before going quite that far as the short fuse in her erupted again. This was about HER! “Get on the bed, you fucking whore!” she commanded. She pulled Emerald by that tiny bra and swung her onto the mattress, ripping it off her at the same time. Her dark breasts bounced wildly as she landed on her back, those huge orbs of soft flesh spreading out to either side of her slender torso. That huge cock wasn’t nearly so giving, the blood coursing through every throbbing inch as it reared up in all its imposing glory, a tower of sex and slutty submission, and Cinder had made it her mission to break the bitch-breaker right back on itself.

“God, I fucking love destroying you.” She stripped out of her dress, throwing it callously into the corner and revealing her luscious curves. Fingernails dug into her breasts and mauled the fucking things, and she roared like a raging dragon as the agony became aphrodisiac. Cinder clambered onto the bed after her fuckpuppet, closing a fist and PUNCHING that fuckstick so hard that it smacked Emerald square in the stomach. It bounced straight back up, and Cinder treated herself to a quick round of cock-boxing, belting the ever-loving shit out of that rigid meatpole. Emerald cried out loud every time those fists sank into her steel-hard flesh, and it only made the next shot dig in harder. Only when the screams stopped did Cinder stop, wrapping both hands around that dick - no small feat, considering her hands couldn’t even meet in the middle of that ponderous girth - and TWISTING in opposite directions. That got Emerald to pipe back up again, shrieking fit to burst her lungs as Cinder treated her dick like a fucking Christmas cracker.

“Yes, that’s it, fucking SQUEAL for me, you cunt pig!” Cinder could feel her pussy gushing its clear fluids, the excitement finally starting to melt away her sweltering anger as she took it all out on her favourite stallion-cocked slave. “Who’s your master?! Who owns this cock?! Who owns this fucking donkey-dick, huh?!”

“YOU DO, CINDER!” Emerald was convulsing, her back arching up towards the ceiling and her fat asscheeks rippling with every spasm. Hearing her name yelled out like that, there was nothing hotter in the world~ Cinder let go of her underling’s flesh-rod, well and truly pleased with herself thus far. But she wasn’t satisfied, not truly.

“You’re goddamn right I do. And don’t you ever fucking forget it.” She stepped up and positioned herself over Emerald’s quivering body. That daunting horsecock pulsed angrily, covered in red marks and pointing straight up towards her soaking pussy, ready to exact its own punishment. But Cinder was the one in control here, and the only punishment would come if Emerald didn’t put that fat fucker to good use pleasuring her cunt! “Beg for it, you slut. Beg me to reward your worthless dick with my tight pussy!”

Emerald’s breath hitched in her throat. Cinder’s pussy was leaking its feminine cum all over her cock, slathering her in girl-drool. Holy fucking mother of god it made her wild! This was what she had been put on this earth to do, to be ridden by Cinder and that tight wet cunt, just like she had done a hundred times before. “Please, Cinder! I want to feel your fucking pussy so bad! I want to feel it clamping down around my dong, I want it to make me go crazy and shoot my gutter-trash street-urchin load! Please, fuck my dick with your superior cunt! I’m nothing but your fucktoy, so please, use me and wring me dry!”

The sheer debauchery sent shivers up Cinder’s spine. She never got tired of hearing that~ She said nothing, instead lowering herself and grinding her wet cuntlips against that massive flared head, rolling her hips about as it scraped over her clit. With one finger pressed softly against that shaft she held it in place and slowly, tauntingly, millimetres at a time, enveloped Emerald’s huge dick with her slick wet folds. Then she dropped her hips and SPEARED herself on that fuckpillar~ It was her turn to scream, impaled up to her fucking guts with horse-meat, her slave’s mighty organ pushing out the skin around her belly with the imprint of its imposing shape. Emerald’s eyes rolled all the way back into her sockets, spiralling into orgasm the moment she felt that pussy close around the base of her shaft, her master effortlessly swallowing up all eighteen inches of cockflesh. But the load she so desperately wanted to pound into Cinder never came, the black-haired goddess’s pussy strangling so tight that no seed could possibly pulse its way up through her cumtube. She wouldn’t be allowed to enjoy the bliss of her release until Cinder got herself off first.

“OOOOH that’s the stuff, that’s what I like!” Cinder slammed her body down against Emerald like a savage beast, riding her stallion with reckless abandon. The girl’s pained mewls were music to her ears and drove her fat, glistening hips up and down at furious speed, the slave’s pain becoming the master’s euphoria. She had spent a long time training Emerald’s cock to be the perfect pussy-pleaser for her rough tastes, and this was the culmination of all that hard work. A monster that always knew just how to fill her every drooling crevice in all the right places, a cock among cocks that she could use to quench her ravenous libido~ Something that could completely and utterly fuck her up, and that she could fuck up, without any need for restraint. She threw her head back, arms braced on her knees as she mercilessly pistoned that gut-busting length in and out of her cunt. “YES YES YES YES YES YES - right there! OHHHHHH my god - UHNNNNHAAAA this fucking cock is mine! This big fat dick is fucking mine and I love it! That head gouges my guts out so fucking good-NNNNNNNGH!”

She hilted Emerald’s cock inside her and howled, her tongue lolling out as a mind-bending orgasm ripped her to fucking shreds~ Fountains of femcum sprayed out from her cunt and doused that fuckmeat, splattering Emerald’s dark skin with glistening girlseed, but before Cinder’s body had even fully recovered from the earth-shattering sensations coursing through her every nerve she was bouncing away again, fucking her cunt up and down that big prick like she hadn’t missed a beat. And still Emerald wasn’t allowed to spew her jizz, the ejaculate frothing in her fat nutsack and thickening with every passing second as it was kept painfully backed up at the base of her throbbing shaft. On and on the thief-girl’s torture continued, Cinder’s juicy cunt squashing her cock with more than a dozen creaming orgasms that wrung her cockflesh like a wet towel and turned her into a shaking, fuck-ruined mess. Her seething mass of rigid fuckmeat began to flag, and when Cinder felt that steel girder in her guts slowly softening she reached down and wrapped her hands tight around Emerald’s throat, wringing her pretty little neck until her face went blue and all the blood surged back into her bestial pillar.

“Don’t you ever fucking go soft on me, you miserable little cunt, or I’ll snap your neck like a twig! You hear me?!” Her teeth bared in a cock-drunk rictus, splattering Emerald with another geyser of pearly cuntslime. She could feel it now! It was finally coming, that final bone-breaking orgasm that would put all the others before it to fucking shame, she was barrelling straight towards it, edging closer and closer with every shuddering thrust as she sank her hips down onto her glorious fucktoy, taking every inch all the way down to the balls, those fat orbs still churning and crying out to sow their gargantuan load inside her. She could feel herself teetering on the edge of that chasm of paradise, spit frothing in her mouth and dripping into Emerald’s hypnotic, flailing cleavage. The poor bitch was gasping for breath, and Cinder could fucking SEE the consciousness fading from her eyes~ The dark-haired dominator gave the tiniest smile and pulled her hands away, allowing her to pull in the oxygen she so desperately needed.

That was all it took. The sensation of air finally filling her lungs after so long pushed Emerald into a realm from which there was no return. She barely had time to inhale before she was screaming louder than ever, a wave of euphoria elevating her to paradise, and her cock fucking BULGED like a hose with a kink, stretching Cinder’s cunt beyond its normal limits and releasing the grip on her shaft. The ball-batter pooling in her swollen nuts was finally free, and it erupted like a rocket shooting for Mars, cannoning into the back of Cinder’s cunt and drowning it in a gallon of fucksludge. Cinder’s shrieking cries mingled with those of her slave as that seed obliterated her guts and pushed her over the edge, her every fibre scorched into an orgasm that turned her legs to jelly, her body collapsing as wave after wave of potent nut-gravy inundated her spasming folds. It was impossible for her to contain that titanic load, the fat ropes flooding out of her cunt and spurting over Emerald’s lower body, covering the insensate thief in a pool of her own sperm six inches deep, stretching all the way from her numb nutsack to the edge of the bed and dripping noisily onto the floor in great, sticky clumps.

Five minutes later, Emerald’s monstrous deluge had slowed to a trickle, her equine cunt-buster finally allowed to soften under its own power and sloughing out of Cinder’s cunt. The puddle of cum between her legs had already cooled and set with a consistency of pudding, and her cock slapped wetly down atop it and sent droplets spraying up into the air to land on Cinder’s supple asscheeks as she laid atop her broken fuck-slave. Dollops of cock-cream oozed from her satisfied fuck-tunnel as she revelled in her bliss, the stress of the day all forgotten. “Good job … ” she sighed, reaching up with a hand to slowly pull Emerald’s face to hers. She kissed the dark-skinned girl passionately, intently, adoringly, their tongues lapping and swirling against each other, savouring the other’s taste as their bodies intertwined, Cinder weakly grinding her hips against Emerald’s as she moaned her satisfaction into her slave’s hot, sweet mouth. Emerald was a worthless fuck-drunk gutter slut and a cock-freak to boot, but she was HER cock-freak, hers and hers alone. She was never going to let her go, not as long as she could get to feel like this!

[thegloober]

Yankees 3, Red Sox 2: Yanks avoid disaster in the ninth after Walker’s clutch homer

Game 150: Judge Returns

LOL good grief. It’s never easy. At least we can laugh about it now. The Yankees tried their best to give the Red Sox the AL East title Tuesday night, but eventually the 27th out was recorded, and the Yankees picked up a 3-2 win. No division clincher for Boston on this night. As of this writing, the Yankees remain two games up on the Athletics in the loss column for homefield advantage in the Wild Card Game. Three when you include the tiebreaker. Twelve games to go.

(Jim McIsaac/Getty)

They Call Him Neil Dinger We’re going to start in the seventh inning, because that’s the best part. The Yankees were down 1-0 heading into that seventh inning and they’d just blown a golden opportunity in the sixth. You’ll read about that in a bit. With Nathan Eovaldi out of the game, Red Sox manager Alex Cora went to his sketchy middle relief crew, and the first man out of the bullpen was righty Brandon Workman.

Workman gifted the Yankees a rally. Aaron Hicks worked a five-pitch leadoff walk, Miguel Andujar popped up on what might’ve been ball four in a 3-1 count for the first out, and then Gary Sanchez drew a six-pitch walk. Workman got ahead in the count 1-2 on Sanchez, then lost him. With runners on first and second with one out, Cora yanked Workman and went to rookie righty Ryan Brasier, who’s been really good this year (1.53 ERA and 2.37 FIP in 29.1 innings).

I thought Aaron Boone was going to go to the bench there, both to pinch-run for Sanchez and pinch-hit for Walker. I figured you’d want the go-ahead run to be able to score from first base on a double. And Walker, well, he’s been bad lately. Went into this game in a 6-for-46 (.130) skid. Luke Voit? Greg Bird? No, Boone stuck with Walker (and Sanchez), and was rewarded with a go-ahead three-run home run into the second deck. To the action footage:

Cement mixer right out over the plate. Walker knew it was gone off the bat — everyone knew it was gone off the bat — he watched it, and then he pointed to the dugout. That is the good stuff. As big a hit as the Yankees have had all season, I’d say. Between this dinger and his two walk-off hits, Walker’s had some pretty big moments in pinstripes despite an overall disappointing year. The three-run blast turned the 1-0 deficit into a 3-1 lead.

Third Time’s A Charm On their third attempt in the ninth inning, the Yankees finally turned the game-ending double play. Holy cow what a mess. Zach Britton entered for the save, struck out Brandon Phillips, then walked Brock Holt with one out. Annoying. That brought the tying run to the plate. Britton was very wild when he first joined the Yankees, but, going into this game, he’d walked one batter in his last 13 appearances and 14 innings. That covers 52 batters faced (1.9 BB%).

After the one-out walk, Britton got the double play ball. He’s a ground ball machine and Christian Vazquez hit a chopper to Third Base Defensive Replacement Adeiny Hechavarria. Third Base Defensive Replacement Adeiny Hechavarria threw wide of second base, Gleyber Torres couldn’t reel it in, and the ball sailed into center field. Everyone was safe. Torres got the error but it could’ve easy gone to Third Base Defensive Replacement Adeiny Hechavarria. Not a good throw at all when the second baseman has to reach as far across his body as Torres did.

Okay. Fine. The Red Sox had runners at the corners and the Yankees were still a ground ball away from ending the game. Britton got that ground ball, right back to himself, and he … threw it into center field. I literally facepalmed when it happened. Britton threw a sinker to second base and Torres couldn’t make the grab. It didn’t help that Tzu-Wei Lin was bearing down on him. Lin slid right into Torres, in fact. (He’s fine.) A run scored and the Red Sox had runners on first and second with one out.

As ugly as that inning was, Britton had his sinker going. The two botched double play balls registered at 73.5 mph and 86.4 mph, so they weren’t hard hit. Britton got back after it, and he got yet another potential double play grounder. This one the Yankees turned. Britton fielded it himself, he made a clean throw to second, and Torres made the throw to first to end the game. Nice stretch by Walker at first. He had a few of them Tuesday night. Game over. Exhale.

That’s What Happ-ening What a gutsy outing for J.A. Happ. He was in bend but don’t break mode in the early innings before finding it and settling down in the middle innings. His first inning pitch locations tell the story:

Happ always pitches up in the zone with his fastball. That’s what he does. But he was really up in the first inning. He was up in the zone in the second and third innings too, though not as much. Happ had to pitch around a one-out walk in the first inning and a two-out single and walk in the second inning. He needed 36 pitches to get his first six outs.

The Red Sox scored their lone run against Happ in the third inning and Sanchez’s latest passed ball was a big factor. Ian Kinsler singled to left, Happ balked him up to second — I have no idea what the balk was, I didn’t see it on the replays at all — and Steve Pearce drew his second walk of the game. That’s when the passed ball moved the runners to second and third with no outs. It was bad. Pitch didn’t even hit the ground.

Happ did well to limit the Red Sox to one run in that spot considering the 3-4-5 hitters were due up. J.D. Martinez got the run in with a sacrifice fly to right field. Aaron Judge made a good on-line throw, but it didn’t have enough on it, so Walker cut it off. Two more fly balls and Hicks’ arm — Hicks held Pearce at third on a Xander Bogaerts fly ball — allowed Happ to strand the runner at third and limit the damage.

The final line: 6 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 3 BB, 6 K on 102 pitches. Happ allowed a one-double to Bogaerts and a one-out single to Eduardo Nunez in the sixth and I thought he should’ve been out of there. Boone stuck with Happ, who stranded the runners at the corners with a pop-up and a strikeout. It wasn’t easy in the first three innings, but Happ was able to avoid the big inning, and he turned in a dandy of a start.

(Jim McIsaac/Getty)

Blown Chances Early In two starts against the Yankees since being traded to the Red Sox, Nathan Eovaldi has put eight men on base in 14 scoreless innings. In the seven games between starts against the Yankees, Eovaldi had a 6.58 ERA (4.27 FIP) in 26 innings and opponents hit .361/.405/.529 against him. Every team other than the Yankees has lit Eovaldi up since the trade deadline. How so very frustrating.

The Yankees had two quality opportunities to score against Eovaldi. First, in the third inning, Walker drew a leadoff walk and Andrew McCutchen drew a one-out walk. Judge then banged into a tailor-made 6-4-3 double play on the first pitch. (More on Judge’s night in a sec.) Then, in the sixth, Torres doubled to right field and scampered over to third on Judge’s fly ball into the right field corner. (Again, more on Judge’s night in a bit.)

With Torres at third and two outs, Eovaldi flung a 95 mph cutter way inside and to the backstop. Gleyber ran home and crossed the plate, but the run did not count. The pitch hit — and by hit I mean grazed — Didi Gregorius in the shin. Hit-by-pitch and a dead ball. Torres went back to third and Didi went to first. If the Yankees didn’t have bad luck, they’d have no luck at all. Eovaldi blew Giancarlo Stanton away with an elevated 97 mph fastball to end the sixth inning and that was that.

(Jim McIsaac/Getty)

Return of the Judge In his first at-bat back Judge did exactly what I was hoping to see him do. Well, no. I was hoping he’d put a ball into orbit. That didn’t happen. Instead, Judge handled premium velocity and ripped a hard-hit line drive. Eovaldi gave him a 99 mph heater out over the plate and Judge hammered it to right field on a line. The exit velocity: 112.1 mph. Unfortunately the ball was right at J.D. Martinez for an out, but still. Great velocity and great contact. An encouraging sign in the first at-bat following a two-month layoff.

Judge’s second at-bat was a letdown. Two one, one out in the third inning, and he hit into an inning-ending double play on the first pitch. Swung at a good pitch — it was a fastball right down the middle — but bad result. In his third at-bat, Judge nearly hit a ball out of the ballpark. He skied a high fly ball to right field and Martinez caught it here:

So close! A first game back dinger would’ve been cool. Judge struck out on a borderline check swing in his fourth at-bat and finished the game 0-for-4. If you’re curious, the exit velocities on his three batted balls, in order: 112.1 mph, 93.9 mph, 94.9 mph. Considering the long layoff, I am really pleased he was able to catch up to Eovaldi’s fastball, even though the results weren’t there. It’s all about timing right now. Judge’s looked pretty good Tuesday night, all things considered.

Leftovers Walker’s homer was his tenth of the season, giving the Yankees eleven (!) players with double-digit home runs. They join the 2004 Tigers, 2015 Astros, 2016 Twins, and 2017 Astros as the only teams in baseball history to do that. Voit is sitting on seven home runs, so if he gets hot and goes on a tear these last 12 games, the Yankees could finish the season with 12 players with double-digit homers.

David Robertson totally bailed Hicks out in the eighth. Martinez dunked a double to center, Hicks took a weird route and let it get by him, then he took his sweet time retrieving the ball. That allowed Martinez to get to third with one out. Pretty terrible, Hicksie. Robertson got a popup and a fly out to strand the runner. Chad Green went three up, three down in the seventh.

Only three hits for the Yankees. Hicks blooped a single in the second, Torres doubled in the sixth, and Walker went deep in the seventh. McCutchen, Hicks, Sanchez, and Walker drew one walk each, and Gregorius was plunked twice. Eighth time in 15 September games the Yankees had no more than six hits. Thank goodness for dingers.

Box Score, WPA Graph & Standings ESPN has the box score and updated standings. MLB has the video highlights and FanGraphs has the postseason odds. Here’s our Bullpen Workload page and here’s the win probability graph:

Source: FanGraphs

Up Next The fifth-to-last home game of the 2018 regular season. The season isn’t over yet but I already miss baseball. Anyway, Luis Severino and David Price are the scheduled starters for Tuesday night’s game. Hope that one goes as well as the last time Severino and Price squared off.

Game 150: Judge Returns

The post Yankees 3, Red Sox 2: Yanks avoid disaster in the ninth after Walker’s clutch homer was shared from BlogHyped.com.

Source: https://bloghyped.com/yankees-3-red-sox-2-yanks-avoid-disaster-in-the-ninth-after-walkers-clutch-homer/

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #339

Top Ten Things to Remember About TF Nation 2018

It’s been a fortnight, by the time you’re both reading this, since I was at TF Nation. In that time a lot has happened. Well, not a lot a lot. I’ve zipped about the country a little bit. It’s nearly time for school to start. I’ve made about six different promos. So some stuff has happened.

Anyway, I'm finally ready to talk about it. I’ll be posting pictures this weekend too (hopefully they’ll be up by now). It was a strange TFN for me in a number of ways, and I'm going to self-indulgently reflect on that.

Normally I drive from My Home in The North, down the M6 to Brum, and get to the Hilton Metropole around late-afternoonish on the Friday. Dump my stuff in my room, head out for a mooch, check out the Friday night festivities, hopefully catch up with friends in the bar, and try to get a relatively early night to feel rested not just for the first full day of the con but also for the inevitable Long One on Saturday night. But a couple of things were different this year. For one, I was working in London, so I caught the train from Euston instead, and go to the hotel quite early. For another, I had what we in the trade refer to as a Minging Cold and felt Proper Rotten. So apologies to anyone who I gave my lurgy to. Anyway, an upshot of this is that I didn’t feel too much like hanging out in the bar or really being all that sociable. I think if D.C. Douglas hadn't been doing his excellent Erotic Fan-Fiction Show on Friday night I'd probably have just hidden in my room to play Civilization VI on my own. But I really didn’t want to miss Chase from Rescue Bots delivering a bit of late night smut, and I’m glad I stuck it out, because it was fantastic.

Although I always love TFN the holy-cow-wow factor from my first con visit a few years ago waxes and wanes. This year I knew I wasn’t looking for any toys so I didn’t engage quite as strongly with the vendors. And I still felt crap for most of Saturday, popping back to my room a couple of times for a rest, and taking a long walk back into the NEC to try to find some drugs. Fortunately, the addition of concentrated Lemsip to my system gave me sufficient strength to power through the afternoon, and by the evening’s festivities I was feeling much, much better. The Stan Bush concert was incredible, and I spent the rest of my time in the bar, chatting to friends old and new.

Sunday, by contrast, was a hardscrabble day of running around and trying to get everything signed by the guests, as I’d squandered Saturday on feeling poorly and taking it easy. But I spoke to everyone and got all the signatures I wished, even if I was trying To Be Good and not spend several hundred pounds on artwork. But I did, at least, get a beautiful Spiderling picture from Nick Roche, which will eventually hang on my daughter’s wall.

So anyway, it was a really cool convention, but it felt slightly disjointed and I left with a melancholy feeling. I think a lot of that was due to me being away from home, and spending the weekend I'd have ordinarily used to go back and see my family at TFN instead. Plus, as is always the case with these things, I like chatting to people more than mooching and purchasing, and there just isn’t enough time, especially when you’re friends with the creators themselves. But it was great. I love TFN, it’s one of the highlights of my year. I hope I can go again next year; obviously it’s an expense, but more than that it’s time out during the summer holidays and time away from my kids. It's always going to be a tough decision, at least til they’re old enough to want to come with me (I don’t think they’ll be staying up till 2am discussing celebrity sex abusers for quite some time, however).

Here, then, are my favourite bits. Or at least the bits that have hung around my memory most powerfully. Cheers, TFN, and thanks loads to everyone involved in the organising.

Stan Bush: “I would have waited an eternity for this,” said Nick Roche when introducing him, and I think he meant it (although it does sound suspiciously like a line from a film. Lord of the Rings, maybe?). Mr Bush did not disappoint. Quintessential 80s rocking, with lots of implied slow-motion montages. Music to drive motorbikes to as the sun goes down over the naval base. It was amazing.

Saturday Night: Like I said, I spent the rest of Saturday night with friends in the bar. It was great fun, and really affirmed my love of the convention, and of Transformers fans in general. Everyone just seems so chill, and all on the same page, just sharing in their love of the franchise and its associated art. I’ve been very lucky to get on friendly terms with various Transformers creators over the years; I hope by calling them my friends I'm not overstepping any boundaries and coming across like some weird stalker. I really like these guys, and chatting to them is an annual highlight. Wish it could happen more often.

Sunday Afternoon: I normally leave fairly sharpish, to be honest, once the con winds down, but with no real hurry to get home (no excited children waiting for me, alas) I hung about a bit longer, and sampled some of the famous Sunday night vibe. I was chatting with a different set of friends, people I see at the Travelling Man store in Manchester, and it was a really nice come down after the highs of Saturday night. I can see why people like staying Sunday night, and not just out of a desire to make TFN last as long as possible.

The Lost Light Love-In: I love Lost Light, and the final (?) TFN panel dedicated to the book was a delight. Revelations, discarded plots, behind-the-scenes info, some subtle teases; it was everything a fan could desire. But the real takeaway was the display of friendship between writer James Roberts and artist Jack Lawrence. It was so, so cool that these two old buds got to make a comic together based on one of their favourite things in the world, and that we all got to read it. It was the perfect, bittersweet end to a long and lovely ride.

An Annie for Annie: my kids might not have read a lot of comics but at the end of the day, most kids still love Spider-Man. My youngest is called Annie; Spider-Man's daughter is called Annie in Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows; the artist of Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows is Nick Roche; Nick was at TFN. It's not hard to get from one thing to the other, and now I have a really great Spiderling picture. I'm hoping it’s something Annie (my Annie, the IRL Annie) will cherish as she gets older. And don’t worry about my eldest, she’s already got three Nick Transformers headshots.

Filth: I’d heard of, but didn’t really know much about, D.C. Douglas’s “Erotic (Zombie-Related) Fan-Fiction" show. I’m not a big Resident Evil fan so I’m almost entirely unfamiliar with his work as Albert Wesker; as far as I’m concerned he’s Chase from Transformers: Rescue Bots. But he’s funny on Twitter so I thought this would be funny too, and quite frankly who wouldn’t want to go see something about erotic fiction at a Transformers convention? Anyway, it didn’t disappoint; it was hilarious and proper mucky. Kudos to the organisers for putting it on, because it’s not the sort of thing I've seen at TFN before. The icing on the cake was the fact that I got to go up on stage and take part, although I reckon my bits could have been dirtier. So to speak.

Blimey!: there was a period of my life when I was probably just as excited for the Combat Colin strip in Transformers as I was by the ongoing story of those robots in disguise themselves. So to finally meet Colin’s creator, Lew Stringer, and get an original Semi-Automatic Steve sketch, was marvellous. I really wish I'd had more time to chat to him, though; he’s a font of knowledge about British comics and their history, and more than that, he was a massive influence on me, my artwork, and my writing. It’s funny sometimes, when you think back, the things that shaped you creatively. Combat Colin is, I think even Lew would admit, fairly niche in terms of popular culture, but the books I’m writing at the moment owe just as much to the adventures of Colin, Steve, the Giggly Sisters, Megabrain, Madprof, Combat Kate and the rest, as they do to the various superhero writers and great novelists that I've cribbed from disgracefully over the years.

Where it All Began: I started collecting Transformers with issue 11 of the UK comic. The lead story in that issue – “Man of Iron” – was illustrated by Mike Collins. Mike was at the convention, and he signed my VERY FIRST ISSUE OF TRANSFORMERS EVER. I mean, how cool is that? Like with Lew, though, I didn’t have much chance to speak to him unfortunately, and I never managed to get an original sketch either. Hopefully he’ll be back!

Those Wonderful Toys: I didn’t really buy anything this year. Most years I either get myself something or at least pick up a couple of small things for the girls. But I knew I was spending more on artwork than usual, plus in general I just wanted to be more frugal, so I didn’t want to go flinging money on “Plastic Crack”. The only thing I really, really wanted was a Power of the Primes Rodimus Prime, which comes with a little Hot Rod that you can combine with his “trailer”, Powermaster Optimus Prime style, to turn into Rodimus. Rodimus, of course, is my favourite character, and this was a gimmick I came up with myself when I was a little kid, so of course I was super excited at the prospect. I think I saw one, briefly, on Saturday morning, but that was it: one. And it was gone so quickly I began to doubt myself. Anyway, with my One True Love not being present, buying toys was kind of an afterthought, but all the same: I love looking at them. Especially the third-party/custom jobs they have in the Forge. The huge Optimus was terrific, but I especially loved the life-size (well, human-sized, I guess) Optimus rifle. They should sell that thing at Toys R Us! Oh...

Geoffrey and Helpers: speaking of TRU (RIP), cosplay. Cosplay is Gold at TFN. This year was no exception. Utterly fantastic Vortex, Functionist Council, humanised Rodimus and Magnus, and loads more besides... it was great, really great. The sheer scale of the undertaking, the finesse, the performances: hats off to you, one and all. But the icing on the cake, for me at least, was the guy who dressed up as Geoffrey from the Toys R Us adverts, except wearing an Infinity Gauntlet. I mean, come on. That’s just incredible.

So there you have it: TF Nation 2018. It was a very emotional experience for me this year. Really, really cool. I do love it. I hope I can go to one of the meet-ups, especially if they have one in the north. And I hope I get to see people in between now and next year, too. Having said that, for a variety of reasons I’m thinking I might give next year a miss, or maybe just go for one day or something.

Unless they get Judd Nelson as a guest. Or anyone else from Rescue Bots. Or Peter Cullen. Or if they have a Weird Al Yankovic concert. Or if they do a huge “End of IDW (version 1.0)” retrospective. Or if they have all the new creators. Or...

Jesus, it never ends.

#top ten #tf nation #tfn #transformers #convention #comics #IDW Publishing #toys #hasbro

[williamrage]

Finding Myself and Dealing with Dysphoria

Most of my life, from early childhood up until I was 21 I dressed as a boy, or as boyish as my parents would let me, Then I got with my now ex-boyfriend, at the time I didn’t know anything about the transgender community, I honestly thought I was the only person who felt like a male on the inside. It’s insane when I think that I knew about people who cross dressed and it never really clicked that many were probably just like me.

I went from knowing myself and being who I was as best as I comfortably could, to getting with a great guy and deciding that I would change myself for him, I forced myself to do so many things, things I had no interest in before, which for the most part wasn’t so bad, at least I can honestly say I tried, but I lost myself in that process, and that was something I wasn’t ready to accept until recently.

Who am I now? When I left my ex, I was a shattered mess who had finally found a label for how I felt, but instead of accepting myself, I ran. I ran and continued to try to change myself to fit into this world better, I had this body, why? So I took steps to have a kid. I can’t say it was smart, and sure I regret it some, but I think if I wouldn’t have had my twins I probably wouldn’t be here today.

If I could do it over I think I should have just sucked it up and transitioned. Where would I be today if I had initially started taking hormones? but things were different then, I had two doctors who were not willing to help me, one outright ignored me when I told him about how I felt, maybe if I had looked into it again, even 5 years later, things would have been different, but 10 years ago transitioning looked like a hopeless wish that would just get me into a world of rejection.

It’s not terrible being a dad, twins was something I didn’t expect, and doing it alone, even with a lot of help from family, has been a trial that has pushed me to my limits. I’ve resigned myself to being alone forever romantically. For a long time I’ve don’t very little aside from live and care for my daughters, I’ve forced myself to do many things like joining a twin parenting group, and trying to socialize.

Unfortunately, it’s when I’m socializing my twins or parent groups that my dysphoria hits me the hardest, my brain tells me I’m a guy, always has, but I know that people see me as a female, and I don’t know how to act, especially around cis women. It’s really hard to describe the feeling, it’s like, I don’t know how to present myself, I want to act normal, on the inside I’m wanting to act and be seen as the man I am, but most of the time I’m in a situation where I feel like I’m being thrown into a game I have zero idea what the rules are and I’m supposed to wing it. It leaves me feeling like a failure and an outcast, it’s bad enough that I’m an introvert, but my masculinity feels trampled on and tossed in the gutter.

On the inside I see myself as that big strong guy that stands in the back looking burly intimidating, and rarely says anything, but is really a big cuddle bear with a sarcastic take on life. I have identified with guys like that my entire life, Norman, from Mighty Max was a big one, these days I think I’d be like Big Mac from MLP. Yup! Most of the time that’s how I’m thinking of myself, I’m that big silent guy in the room, only I’m trapped in a girl’s body… it hurts saying that, because most of the time I can just not think about my body as being either, when I’m sitting I do my best to make my massive boobs disappear, like sitting at my desk right now, it’s a tall desk, my boobs are under the lip of the desk, I also have the tendency to slouch a bit so that they disappear into my chest and my shirt hangs loose over them, I don’t know if people see them, but I feel like I don’t. That’s a trick I learned when they first came in.

For a long time I’ve been able to mostly ignore being trans, there are those times when it’s hard, sometimes at work I’ll see other guys and feel so jealous. I walk and act like these guys… I feel like if my expression and demeanor was paired with a more masculine physique I wouldn’t feel so alien, and people wouldn’t feel so weirded out by how “cold” and “emotionless” I seem.

Dealing with shark week, which after having twins has turned into sometimes a three month blood bath, has been a major factor in triggering my dysphoria. I don’t know if it’s the emotional turmoil or dealing with the mess, but holy cow, there was a time when I would walk to the bathroom fighting back my tears of utter hate for the way I felt in my body. I’ll always be thankful for the day my sister got me a menstrual cup, I feel like it was a lifesaver, honestly, it was a total game changer for me, I can forget all about it most of the time, sure it can be messy and I have to get a little too hands on down in the deeps, but once it’s in, I can go the majority of the day not giving it a second thought.

I think that for most who are transgender, the dysphoria is at it’s worst when we’re forced to be the gender we don’t identify with, I feel sad for the trans little girls who are forced to dress in boys clothes without any compromise available to them from their parents, at least for me as a kid, I could go shirtless and wear jeans and clodhoppers up until puberty and nobody would give it a second thought, at least not on my parent’s property with no neighbors in sight to call CPS.

It was only after I got with my ex-boyfriend that my dysphoria began hitting me the hardest. When I’d buy women’s clothes and makeup. Now before I got with him I never willingly bought or wanted girls clothes, as a kid I fought my parents. I was in 2nd grade when I finally said no to skirts and dresses. I was forced a couple times, mainly on graduation days, and family pictures, that was my compromise, but if it was any other time, NEVER. Makeup was another funny thing to me, I’d get the scented nail polishes and put them on for a time, but then they’d eventually turn into potions, at least until high school when black nail polish and lipstick and all things goth became a thing. But both guys and girls were wearing it, heck, at that time I wanted so bad to look like Eric from the Crow that it hurt.

With my ex-boyfriend it was different, I dove into glitter and rainbows, and all things cute, I bought girl clothes, although I wouldn’t get anything that showed off much, if any, cleavage, I bought some expensive lip glosses and glittery makeup. The problem was, I would put this stuff on and look in the mirror and feel disgusted. I honestly felt like a crossdresser, like I shouldn’t be wearing it, and no matter how beautiful my ex-boyfriend told me I looked I couldn’t see it, all I could think was how much I hated myself. Many times I would get dressed, look in the mirror, feel those feelings and take off everything and opt for my androgynous look, t-shirt and jeans. Most of the clothes I bought were worn maybe once, or not at all. My “makeup” honestly I don’t think you can classify it really as makeup, but lipgloss and glitter, was mostly left alone, I’d wear it for some family get togethers with my ex’s family, but I had no patience for it, and really, I didn’t feel like I needed it anyway.

It was nice being with a guy who didn’t care if his girlfriend was a hardcore tomboy gamer, but I feel like from the beginning I was inauthentic to him, if I could have changed myself and actually have felt like a woman it would have been awesome, but it got to the point where I couldn’t ignore it anymore. What finally broke the camel’s back was my cousin’s wedding, she wanted me to be a bridesmaid, and wear a dress. What shouldn’t have been a problem, turned into weeks of tossing and turning at night, crying into my pillow while my boyfriend slept, and looking at the dress online and freaking out at the thought of wearing it, and being seen wearing it. I couldn’t do it, and it forced me to take a hard look at myself and realize, as I had many times over in my life, that this wasn’t just a feeling, or a phase, that what I felt was real, that I really was a male on the inside and I couldn’t just keep pretending.

At that point I only heard the term transgender a couple times, and heard it loosely used to describe someone who was born the wrong gender. I remember a couple conversations with my ex-boyfriend where I tried the term out on myself, somewhat as a joke, not really understanding but at the same time, knowing that if there was a word for how I felt, this was it. So when I finally did look up my feelings and the word Transgender came up and I actually dove into what it meant, and found people who felt that way and learned about their experiences I couldn’t just ignore it anymore. I took no time in telling my ex-boyfriend and family.

To me it was so obvious, to look back on my life and actually be able to say “I told you so.” or “I knew it” and actually know that I wasn’t alone. It was unbelieveable. I also knew that it was going to be hard for my parents, but I also knew that if anyone could REALLY understand it was my siblings. I wish my mom didn’t feel like she had to blame herself for everything, I wish she knew that I’ll be forever grateful that she was the one who saw my turmoil as a kid who just wanted a short freaking haircut, and finally took me out and got one. I think my dad took it better, but I doubt he’ll ever know just how awesome it felt for the short time where he made me feel like his only son as we threw the football or baseball every chance we got until the sun went down.

My sisters have been an incredible pillar to my strength. Even when I had resigned myself to living androgynously they remembered our childhood and understood. Even when I acted like I didn’t care what people called me, they made my name real, used the pronouns I shrugged at, let me vent my frustrations and despair over my dysphoria. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling of absolute gratitude that I feel toward them in everything they have done. It’s because of them that I can transition and know that in the end not everyone will abandon me.

These days my dysphoria can be really bad, I can’t really look in the mirror, but since my sister started cutting my hair I can sometimes catch a glimpse of the man I’m supposed to be. I’ve had to make myself stop trying to “fit in” with the mom crowd. No more binge buying women’s clothes for me. It’s taken a long time for me to get to where I can accept myself, and some days it’s still hard, but what has changed is that I’m no longer trying to force myself to be something I’m not because no matter what I’ll always be transgender.

So that’s where I am today, I’m at the point where I’ve exhausted my arsenal against who I really am; I ran, I’ve tried to bury it, live with it and deny it. This entire time I’ve known who I am inside, but I thought I could just live with it. I didn’t realize that I was killing myself to please the people around me, I thought it would be so easy to sacrifice my feelings, nobel even, to let people love a hollow shell. But letting them love my hollow shell, came at the cost of my love, because shutting off those feelings shut off my love. It took a long time to realize that that wasn’t love at all, if people can’t love me for who I am really, then what was the point of letting them love something superficial?

#transgender #transmen #williamrage #willrage #ftm

[itsjaybullme]

WWE's Braun Strowman on 'SummerSlam,' Recovering From a Shattered Elbow, and His Love of Chipotle

Courtesy WWE

Chances are, if you've been on the Internet in the past few months, you've seen this video:

Yes, that's a man single-handedly lifting an ambulance. And that man's name is Braun Strowman, the "Monster Among Men."

Strowman originally joined the WWE as part of the Wyatt Family stable before becoming a singles competitor in 2016, and he has since made his presence known to the entire WWE Universe—especially Roman Reigns. Strowman will finally have his chance at the WWE Universal Championship when he faces Brock Lesnar, Reigns, and Samoa Joe for the title at SummerSlam this month.

We had a chance to talk to Strowman about SummerSlam, the legacy of giants in the WWE, and how he manages to stay in shape.

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What was your reaction when you found out you were going to be part of the headliner event for SummerSlam?

I was just very excited. Just another platform for me to go out there and show the world that I deserve—and I've earned—the spot that I'm in, and that I'm capable of running with the big dogs. No pun intended on that. And being the main event of SummerSlam and showing the world that I deserve, and I'm supposed to be there.

I know you originally had a career as a strongman. You won the Arnold Amateur Championships about five years ago. I know you said in the past that you loved being a strongman, so what made you decide to transition to wrestling?

A lot of it had to do with...strongman gives you a lot of trophies, and it was hard to support myself, and feed myself. You can't eat trophies, dude. Financially, it was a big step for me to want to come to the WWE—and who didn't grow up at some point in their life and want to be a WWE superstar?

So given the opportunity, you'd be almost stupid to not at least check it out and give it a shot. The opportunity was brought to me, and I liked the idea, and I fell in love with it. I eat, sleep, breathe wrestling now. And, well, if it doesn't show that I do, then why am I in the main event of SummerSlam?

You originally made a name for yourself as a member of the Wyatt Family, and then you moved onto Raw as a singles wrestler, and you've been doing that for about a year now. Did that transition take any getting used to?

At first, it's a little nervousness because the veil's been pulled off. I'm the least-experienced wrestler on the WWE roster when it comes to years in the industry. And that was...I did my parts here and there with the Wyatt Family with what I was capable and comfortable with doing.

And I knew that little bit of a veil was being lifted off of me, and now all eyes are gonna be on me. So it was up to me to keep from stinking the joint up. I didn't have an opportunity off or if I didn't know what was going on, or something got messed up, I could tag out. Now, it was sink or swim. And they put me at the deep end of the pool, kicked me in the butt, and I feel like I've done a pretty good job of keeping my head above water.

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Giants have a very storied history in the WWE, including superstars like Undertaker, Big Show—with whom you fought—and, of course, Andre the Giant. And you'd said you were nervous when you started as a singles wrestler. How do you feel about following that kind of legacy of the giants? Is that something you ever think about?

Without a doubt. And in this era with the giants, you know, we're a dying breed when it comes to sports entertainment. If you take a look at the whole roster from top to bottom, Big Show and I are it. We've got a couple guys that are tall; there aren't any more big guys. But when you talk big guys, those larger-than-life characters made WWE what WWE is. When they walk into a room, they control the room.

And I'm looking forward to continuing that legacy—not only continuing that legacy, but playing up even to another level of work ethic and showing the world that just because I'm a giant doesn't mean that I'm gonna be a cumbersome and fumbling idiot around the ring. I'm gonna get in there and do things that're gonna make you go, "Holy cow! This guy's not supposed to be able to do this. How is it happening?" And I feel like I've done a pretty good job of that so far. I'm just gonna continue to punch the bar.

When I was telling some of my friends that I was interviewing Braun Strowman, even those who don't know wrestling said, "Oh, that's the ambulance guy!"

[laughs]

Do you mind being typecast in that sort of role, knowing that people might just know you for one big event like flipping over the ambulance? Does that ever bother you?

It really doesn't matter. In today's day and age, any exposure you can get is good exposure. So if 500,000 people only know me because I flipped over an ambulance and that's what they saw on YouTube, so be it. That's still 500,000 more people that know who I am, where it's just Joe Blow that's walking down the street. So I'll take any exposure that I can get. Any publicity. And that's just how it is today.

How do you manage to stay in shape despite being on the road so often? I know the WWE superstars are on the road around 200 days a year.

It's a lot of planning. I don't know. Some of the guys go really, really crazy about it. Luckily for me, I've been gifted with, I guess, monster genetics and all that. My genetics and youth factor mean I don't have to be meticulous with my eating, counting calories. I kinda just eat when I'm hungry. I know what I'm supposed to eat, and I try to stick to that as much as I can. But I guess, basically where it pays off is that I work hard in the gym. I get in there and I do my cardio. I work out and it's...I bust my butt.

And I posted on Instagram the other day joking around, showing off my ass, and stuff like that. And I don't have the greatest, craziest diet and I tell people, you don't have to eat lettuce and water to keep in shape. You have to put the work in, and it's just that's it. I mean, I go to the gym every day when I'm on the road. It doesn't matter if I have a last-minute dinner and I stay till my Fatal 4 Way at SummerSlam, I'm gonna get my workout in before I go to the building. That's just how it is. That's my deal. That's what I do. And I guess the proof's in the pudding. It's paying off.

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As far as diet goes, you're saying that you make sure not to eat unhealthy foods, but you don't necessarily count calories or anything like that.

Now I don't...I'll stop at, say, Whole Foods or a grocery store, and I'll buy a couple of rotisserie chickens and eat those throughout the day. My guilty pleasure's Chipotle. I eat Chipotle probably way more than I should. But it's quick, it's easy, it tastes good, and I can get the calories and the proteins and stuff that I need to get in there. And it's tough, because like you said, we're on the go, go, go. I live out of a suitcase 200-plus days a year. So it's a lot of flying into the town we get to. Usually the very first thing I do is make a Vitamin Shoppe stop and load up with some proteins and snack bars. I like to call them bodyguard treats: Things that I can eat on the road at night and not feel guilty about eating. And then, here and there, finding something that's open.

That's the hardest thing: By the time we get a shower, cleaned up after a wrestling night, it's 11 p.m. before we get on the road. And I mean, there's not a whole lot of options. So either get something earlier, eat something awful, or you just don't eat at all and wait till the morning and eat a huge breakfast.

A few months ago you suffered a shattered elbow. What was the recovery process like? How did you recover so quickly?

I'll tell you, it couldn't have been worse timing, especially when I found out that I had to have surgery. I kind of freaked out and started breaking and flipping over stuff in the training room. I wasn't really happy about it. For one thing, I feel like I shouldn't get hurt. I've never been hurt really in my entire life and I'm like "Why? How?" I just kind of wanted to start thinking about "I'm the big, bad monster. I'm not supposed to get hurt." And well, I get things happening, and some stuff is out of my hands. I don't have any control over it. So I have to give huge props to WWE for taking care of me, literally, because I was in London when I got hurt.

They flew me back to Birmingham, AL, to the No.1 ortho in the country. They got in there, got everything cleaned up, sewn back together. Our awesome medical staff at the WWE Performance Center are in Orlando. I spent two days with them for a couple of weeks, and then went to one [session] a day. I just stayed on top of the rehab—stretching, getting the strength back at all these different massages, grafting. I had a lot of agony just dealing with and fighting through the pain, and just sucking it up because I wanted to be back. I was missing out.

I love doing what I do, and having to sit at home and watch Monday Night Raw pissed me off. It made me work harder and harder to get my elbow back, to get back into the ring, and do what I do best. And that's kicking hind end!

SummerSlam will stream live around the world Sunday, August 20 at 7pm ET on WWE Network.

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from Bodybuilding Feed http://www.muscleandfitness.com/athletes-celebrities/interviews/wwes-braun-strowman-summerslam-recovering-shattered-elbow-and-his via http://www.rssmix.com/