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#holy shit this is the most notes i’ve ever got on a post
weehelers · 2 years
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SHE IS ART
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PAIRING eddie munson x fem reader
SUMMARY eddie accidentally ruins your art and tries to make it up to you by sneaking into your room and drawing it again. all though he has no artistic skills, it’s an excuse to spend time with you and admire your beauty.
NOTE yall wtf why did my last post get so many likes i’m literally crying wtf thank u sm it means so much to me!2&:93737
WARNING cuss words!!
“ or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets!” eddie yells walking on the table looking at the jocks, “ you want something freak?” jason says. you smile looking down at your drawing, you had your headphones on listening to the smiths. “ fuck i have to do it again.” you mumble under your breath reaching for your eraser, due to holding the pencil for so long your hands were sweaty. dropping the eraser, you bend down to grab the eraser.
you jump quickly taking off your headphones leaving them to rest on your neck and looking back up to see eddie walking on your table. “So as long as your not into parties!” he yells looking at the ‘cool kids’ table. he steps on your drawing, ruining it. with his dirty boots, permanently damaging the paper. “ no no!” you say putting your headphones down on the table. you look at the drawing and pout.
eddie looks down and quickly stumbles off the table earning a few laughs, “ loser!” someone yells. “ oh shit.” eddie says quickly getting up and looking at you. “ i didn’t mean to-” eddie says looking at the drawing he damaged. “ it’s fine.” you mumble biting your lower lip upset. eddie directs his attention to you, “ i swear i didn’t see you- no i mean i did- i just didn’t think- i’m so sorry.” he says quickly sitting down in-front of you. “ it’s fine don’t worry.” you look up at him.
holy
crap
jesus
christ
eddie’s eyes widen, you were the most beautiful girl ever. like literally ever. he’s never seen someone so beautiful in his life, as stupid as it sounds you were the most perfect girl he’d ever seen. he thought it was crazy, how he doesn’t even know your name yet his heart is pounding. your eyes, fuck they were so pretty to him. your lips, your lips, your lips, your lips, your beautiful lips that were in a pout that he thought was the cutest thing ever. he doesn’t even know who you are yet he’s so inlove with you.
“ no its not fine! i mean look at yo- this look this!” he stutters almost blowing his cover. “ this is amazing art and i ruined it.” he says again grabbing the paper he ruined. you cover your face with the sleeves of your jacket, your face heating up. no one had ever complimented your art. eddie smiles, he can’t take this anymore your so adorable oh my god oh my god.
“ it’s not.” you whisper still hiding your face, eddie gasps dramatically. “ what?! this is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen.” lie, you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
you put your hands down smiling, “ thanks.” you mumble, your face red. “ d-do you seriously like it?” you ask biting your nail nervously. eddie grins, he looks down at the drawing. “ yeah of course. i mean look at it.” eddie says admiring the piece of art, trying to actually focus on the ‘art’ and not your face. because you honestly are a work of art. “ i dont i guess people think drawing is for children and it’s a waste of time.” you say biting your lower lip. “ yeah well i’m eddie the ‘freak’ munson so i don’t have the right to judge people, and honestly if i were to judge-”
he suddenly flew back off the table, he puts his hand on his heart dramatically. he then suddenly points at your art, “ that has got to be the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen!” he exclaims out loud. you look around the cafeteria and everybody was staring at you, you cover your face giggling. you grab your eraser and throw it at him, “ get back here!” you whisper yell your face bright red. eddie grabs the eraser and chuckles, “ sorry sorry. couldn’t control myself.” he sits back down infront of your. “ let me fix it.” he says. you tilt your head to the side confused, “ what do you mean fix it? you can draw?” you ask quickly sitting up. eddie starts laughing, “ no no i’m more of the guitar guy. but i mean i can try to fix it.” eddie says covering his face with his hair shyly. you smile, “ yeah! yeah of course? just uh how.”
“ easy i can just sneak into your room.” he says letting go of his hair, “ w-what? my parents are home!” you whisper yell crossing your hands. “ i can be a quiet.” he says covering his mouth with his finger. “ yeah but i’ve never snuck anyone in my room before.” you say nervously looking down at your jeans. “ hey hey it’s okay i don’t have to-” you look up. “ no no i want you too!” you blurt out, “ no i mean yeah of course just be really really quiet. like extremely extremely quiet.” you say grabbing your sketchbook and pencil case, eddie breaks down laughing at your nervousness. “ oh so you do want me there?” he says standing up crossing his hands. “ shut it.” you start running to the cafeteria door, “ i live in 2536 maple street! the house with the swings out front!” you yell waving at eddie smiling.
eddie nods waving back. he looks back down at the table and sees the ruined drawing, he smiles grabbing it and gently folding it putting it in his pocket. he ran back to his table and quickly sat down, everybody was staring at him. “ what was that?” dustin says. “ what was what?” eddie says looking at dustin. “ you talking to y/n?” dustin says raising an eyebrow. “ what about it?” he asks. “ nothing nothing.” dustin throws his hands up in defeat. he couldn’t bring up the fact that, that little interaction was the happiest he’d seen eddie.
at home
you were laying in bed reading a book and listening to the smiths. you quickly close your book and turn around to see eddie banging on your window. you stand up and run to the window opening it. “ h-help me out.” he groans, you grab his hand pulling him in. he falls. you laugh covering your mouth. he stands up and takes a deep breath in, “ see told you very quiet.” he says looking back at you. “ yeah very quiet it’s very fascinating.” you giggle. “ soo this is your room..the smiths? really?” he says crossing his hands walking around your room.
“ yes the smiths! i don’t listen to matellica and the black sabbaths eddie.” you say sitting on your bed, “ yeah i mean clearly.” he whispers. you throw a pillow at him, “ what do you mean ‘clearly’?” you say using air quotations. eddie smiles, “ i mean look at you, your like the most gentle person i’ve ever seen. you have this soft aura and energy you know.” he says sitting down on your bed, on the edge. “ what about me? is it obvious that i listen to heavy metal?” he says looking at you raising an eyebrow. you laugh again. god your laugh is so angelic
“ are you seriously asking me that? i mean look at you! you have like the coolest hair in the world, and like you have those really pretty tattoos.” you say pointing at his tattoos. pretty? pretty? you think his tattoos are pretty? his heart just exploded.
he turns around feeling his face heat up, he coughs. “ so uhm the art thing!” he says trying to change the subject. “ oh yeah hold on.” you say standing up walking to your desk grabbing a sketch pad and your pencil case. “ here.” you hand him a pencil. he grabs the pencil and smiles, you open your sketch pad. you lay down flat on your stomach with your sketch pad infront of you. eddie repositions himself so he’s fully on the bed sitting infront of the sketch pad. you two begin to draw.
you cover your face trying to hide your giggles, eddie looks at you then back at the drawing and starts laughing. “ d-do you want me to help you?” you ask through giggles. “ first of all i’m offended and yes i actually do need help i don’t know how to do this.” he says laughing. you sit up and scoot next to him. “ okay so uh, here hold onto my hand.” you say.
you gave him butterflies, so so so so many butterflies it’s crazy.
eddie wraps his hand on yours gripping the pencil, “ okay now we are gonna draw gently.” you say dragging the pencil across the paper. his hands were sweaty and shaky but you didn’t care. you liked having his hand on you. it made you feel…safe and warm? oh god..
“ perfect!” you say looking at the drawing before laughing, eddie shook his head looking down at the paper. he wasn’t paying attention to the drawing, he was looking at you the entire time. admiring your wide profile, how pretty you were. he was mad himself for noticing you. you were so so dang beautiful.
“ that looks horrible.” he says. “ it’s not horrible it’s definitely something though!” you say trying to catch your breath. you let go of the pencil and eddie quickly wipes his hand on his pants trying to get rid of the sweat. you rip the drawing from the sketch pad and grab tape, you rip a piece of tape and tape the drawing on your wall. “ perfect!” you exclaim clapping gently. eddie smiles, you jump on the bed and sit down. you grab your markers and grab eddie’s hand. “ can i color in your tattoos?” you ask shyly.
“ yes yes yes of course!” he blurts. you smile grabbing his hand placing it on your lap. you roll up his sleeve and start colouring in his tattoos, eddie was going crazy. in the inside of course. he hoped you couldn’t be able to hear his heart beating, cuz it was literally going crazy. like batshit crazy. he bites his lower lip unable to contain his smile. “ look this is bob.” you say pointing at the dog you drew. “ oh no way that’s sick!” he exclaims out loud. you immediately put your finger on his lips, “ shh quietly.” you whisper. eddie looks down at your finger and nods gently, “ bob looks really cool.” he whispers, he grabs your finger. you two stare at each other
he slowly places your hand on his chest. “ this-this isn’t normal..” he whispers still staring at you. you drop the marker still looking at him. “ why does my heart keep pounding y/n..” he whispers gently tightening the grip on your hand. “ i-i don’t know eddie..” you whisper. “ i don’t know what’s happening to me. i don’t know what you keep doing to me y/n but it’s driving my crazy.” he whispers letting go of your hand.
“ go!” you say. “ w-what?” eddie says confused. “ go go go eddie go!” you say grabbing his hand rushing him to the window. “ i don’t understand what’s happening?” he says tilting his head to the side. “ my dad is coming i can hear his footsteps!” you quickly open the window. “ go go go eddie he’ll kill me!” you say again. “ fuck fuck okay!” he says going through the window. “ hold on!” you grab onto his hand. you look back at the door then back at eddie. you lower yourself and kiss his cheek. “ okay go go go!” you giggle. eddie stares at you dumbfounded. “ eddie!” you yell as you hear the door opening. “ fuck sorry! love you- i mean no i don’t no i do okay bye!” he yells jumping. he falls on his ass making you laugh, “ i’m good i’m good!” he throws his thumbs up before quickly standing up dusting his ass off. he quickly runs off.
you laugh watching him run, “ bye l/n! see you tomorrow!” he yells from across the street. you wave back smiling. your door opens and you immediately turn around, it’s your dad. “ sweetie lower the music please.” he says. you quickly shut the window close. “ yeah yeah of course dad love you.” you say covering the window. “ alright.” he closes the door.
you jump on your bed grabbing a pillow screaming into it, your legs kicking the air.
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dirtychocolatechai · 2 years
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submit | b.b.
🩸pairing | bucky barnes x f!reader
🔪wc | 3.4k
🩸warning(s) | 18+, smut; rough, dom!bucky, mild dub-con, cnc (everything is pre-agreed upon for the most part), roleplay, winter soldier!bucky, semi-public sex, dirty talk, degradation, pet names, teasing, oral (m receiving), facefucking, masturbation (f), d/s undertones, creampie/minor breeding kink, praise, manhandling, begging, squirting
🔪summary | you take a quick thirst pic of a man you see at the bar. yeah, it was super embarrassing because the flash was on and he totally saw you but no harm, no foul... right?
🩸notes | so this was an old one shot that i’ve re-written and decided to post and uhhhhh its? pretty fucking filthy?? i feel like i’ve exposed myself bad w/ this one besties 😮‍💨 pls let me know if i missed anything/if you have any questions about the warnings 💜
🔪requests: open | tag lists: open | masterlist
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Has anyone ever died because of a thirsty text?
People probably said no but then again, it wasn’t their skull bouncing off the wall with a loud crack, was it? Pain sparked quick and bright, and a high-pitched ringing drowned out all other sounds as your world bloomed into a kaleidoscope of color.
Gasping for breath, the exposed brick of the club bathroom cut into your palms as your hands scrambled for purchase. The tang of iron burst across your too thick tongue, nicked by your teeth that felt entirely too large for your mouth. Thoughts rattled loose from the impact like bits of confetti.
“What-”
A metal band - holy shit, that’s a hand - curled around the front of your throat like a collar. Cruel fingers bit into the tender flesh of your jugular, cutting off your circulation. Blood rushed in your ears, your vision blurred by the pressure building behind your eyes. Slammed against the wall as you were, the dirty mirror beside your head reflected your attacker with startling clarity.
You gasped.
It was him!
… The man from the bar you not so subtly snapped a pic of before texting it to your bestie with a slough of emojis, 😮‍💨🍆💦. He hadn’t seemed terribly concerned at the time even though you were mortified the flash was still on. Guess he was more bothered than you initially realized, having run for the hills the first chance you got.
“H-Hey, I, I know you!” You licked your lips, eyes desperately searching for his. “Look, I’m - I’m really sorry about before. I’ll delete the picture! So, so just let me go, yeah?”
When his gaze met yours, you shuddered.
There was nothing but bitter black malice staring back at you from beneath his wild halo of hair. A tempestuous storm at sea raging in their depths; no glint of softness or hint of kindness, only sharp shadow and rough edges from the curve of his jaw to the angry slash of his mouth.
Blood caked the side of his strong face in thick red swatches, an ugly purple-blue bruise forming across the bridge of his nose. Hash and unyielding, he was a marble statue given breath. 
When he spoke, his voice was a gun smoke rough snarl, “кто ты?”
The language was foreign - and the reality that you were unable to understand a word he said settled over your shoulders like a wet towel.
The walls closed in, the fluorescent lights illuminating the bathroom blinding as you began slapping at any part of him you were able to reach. 
“Let go!” Your breath rattled in your lungs, his body a firm line crushing you into the wall. “M’sorry! I won’t say any-anything, I promise. Please jus’ let GO!”
No matter what you managed to slur out, no matter where you aimed your hits, the stranger remained unmoved. Your vision swam, your heart nearly bursting from where it pounds into your ribs. The grip around your throat tightened. His large frame crowded close until he hovered over your back. A firm chest sunk into your spine sternum to hip.
“Don’t…” you wheezed through a painful swallow that ground your throat against itself, “Don’t do this.”
Ignoring your feeble pleas, a thick black boot kicked your feet apart. Your hips dropped only to be stopped by a firm thigh slotting between your legs. The heat of his body seared you to the bone, the scent of sweat and gunpowder clinging to his skin.
Alluring for all the wrong reasons, it surrounded - overwhelmed - consumed you until you were dumb-dizzy from the head rush. Squirming sparked fissions of pleasure, white lightning shooting through your nerves at the uncomfortably intimate position.
“Come on,” you say, voice reedy and thin. “I swear!”
Whatever response he had, he rumbled it in that language of his. You weren’t able to catch what it is - not that you’d even understand it in the first place. Your throat bobbed in a rough swallow beneath the metal palm.
He wasn’t squeezing as hard as before, but you weren’t foolish enough to believe any slackness on his part meant he couldn’t keep you pinned. Stuck where he wanted you like a butterfly to a cork board as those dark, dark eyes surveyed you.
The air that settled into the silence between you was one of barely contained violence. Every muscle in your body grew tense, your body coiled for action as you watched him watch you. He remined you of a great jungle cat measuring its prey, cataloguing when the opportune moment to pounce was.
It might have been the concussion you no doubt suffered from, or perhaps the fishbowl cocktails you’d downed over the course of your evening mixed with the  lingering attraction to your attacker. Maybe even the charged undercurrent of something else that warmed the spaces between your bodies. Whatever it was, you didn’t have to wait long for the faint kindling of a fire to settle low in your belly.
No, no, no! Why now...
No amount of shifting was able to hide how hot the slide of his body was getting you. Your reaction was stark, the throbs of your cunt increasing the longer you spent trapped against that thick thigh. You locked a needy whine behind the cage of your teeth when he shook you like a ragdoll.
This was turning into a confused clusterfuck of shamelustdesire. And you hated how it warred with your sense of self respect. “Please, just let me go.”
His eyes burned through you, the twist of his mouth thoughtful as he dragged the cap of his knee across the crotch of your pants. The nudge of your swollen clit electrified your body, and you sobbed. 
“Please...” Blood welled to the surface of your lip from where your teeth sunk into the fat. “Don’t.”
Ignoring you, the stranger’s dark head bowed low and he burrowed his nose into the space behind your ear. A deep inhale expanded his chest, molded his front to your back so tightly you wouldn’t have been surprised if you fused together.
There was no room for air.
A rough, wrecked groan did wicked things to your body. Shivers raced down your spine, your hips jerking back into the cradle of his pelvis on instinct as more slick oozed out to wet the seat of your panties. Without warning, the brutal shackle of his fist around your throat loosened.
Gasping, you coughed on your spit. 
Whether from panic, fear, arousal or a jumbled combo of the three, all you did was stay crushed between the warm weight of his body and the wall. If there was a time to escape, you watched it pass by until you were completely at this stranger’s mercy.
“Submit,” he said in English, the command more animal than voice. 
Everything screeched to a halt while shock slammed into you with all the ferocity of a freight train, the building fantasy completely derailed and sent careening for a cliff. It felt like you’d suddenly jumped into an ice-cold lake, struck dumb and unable to cobble together any thought other than, wait, what?
Instantly, tension bled from your shoulders and you couldn’t help the confused, “Bucky...?” from escaping.
Sure, it ruined the thrill of your little game but this felt oddly significant.
In lieu of a response, teeth bit down onto the curve of your shoulder. An angry snarl vibrated deep with his chest, burrowing next to the rabbit fast thump of your heart. You recognized it for the warning it was; careful.
He broke role long enough to say, “Don’t make me repeat myself, kitten.”
Bowing your head, you resumed the role with a low whine and tilted your head to the side. The tender flesh of your throat was up on offer. Limp limbed, you sank back into the firm line of the stranger’s chest. Maybe if you did as he demanded, you’d leave with your life.
Lips swept along sensitive skin, kissed along the shell of your ear as he whispered in a voice dark and heavy, “You’re such a good little slut - when you listen. Aren’t you?”
Heat crept into your cheeks. “That’s not, I don’t--” Thighs rubbing together, you attempted to alleviate the uncomfortable pulse taking root in your core. “You can do whatever you want just don’t hurt me, please.”
A nip to your ear had you gasping, your hips jerking in response.
“You’re practically begging for it, kitten.” In the mirror, his lips curved into a mean smirk as he tsks. “You’re a sick little pervert. You know that, don’t you? I mean, come on. What kind of freak gets turned on by something like this, huh?”
You turned your face away, abashed. “I’m, I’m not..” An aborted shift of your hips has the rough inseam of your jeans parting your slick folds through the thin material of your panties. “A-Ah!”
A stony silence rang out, and then there was an unforgiving hand yanking your neck back. “Are you that dumb and desperate to cum? Think you’re the one in control here?”
Groaning, you slapped at the unmoving force behind you. “Sorry, sorry - m’sorry! Didn’t mean it, I’ll do whatever you want. Anything - I swear, please, please just stop!”
The punishing grip disappeared.
Pulses in time with the throb of your cunt fizzled across your skull. Your inner thighs were slick, your throat aching and eyes burning. Dizzying arousal scattered your thoughts, leaving you trapped in a muddled mess of soupy feelings.
This wasn’t the first time you’d roleplayed the Winter Soldier and his helpless victim but Bucky never wore him so well. Everything about this game was usually far more subtle. A strong grip here, something stronger than a love bite there - not whatever this was.
Maybe he got too close.
It was a very real risk the two of you took every time you indulged in this fantasy. If anything, that made you feel even worse; dirty, wrong, guilty for liking it so much and letting it happen to Bucky in the first place. 
What if this wasn’t how he wanted the scene to go but he was in too deep?
You found yourself unsteady, unsure of what to do.
Submit or defy?
The decision was made for you as the presence at your back withdrew. 
“On your knees. Now.”
Swallowing, you turned and sunk to the floor in front of his feet. The tile was sticky beneath your knees, and your hands shook when you reached for his hips. Firm muscles contracted under your palms when you grabbed the waistline of his pants. He shoved up into your touch almost immediately.
From behind your lashes, you caught the laser-focus of his gaze, the greedy track of your tongue swiping over your lips. “I don’t - I’m not sure...”
He offered no council or reassurance. This was happening regardless of your personal feelings on the matter. You were there for nothing more than convenience’s sake, a pretty little throat to wrap around his cock.
His groan of relief when you pop the button reverberates down your spine. Bare, his flushed cock sprung out and slapped against his lower abdomen with a solid sound. You stopped yourself from gasping, saliva pooling under your tongue at the precum dribbling down the fat shaft. 
Uncut and so girthy your fingers don’t form a snug ring, you gripped the base and prepared yourself for the weight of him on your tongue, the tang of salt on his skin as he fucked into the circle of your lips. Your throat fluttered as you swallowed.
"сосать вы чертов шлюха," The stranger growled, hips stuttering as you ran your tongue along the swollen head in kitten soft licks, muffled moans vibrating through his shaft. “Shit.”
Any plans you had to drag this out, to tease him mercilessly are shot to hell when hands gripped the back of your skull. Thumbs dug into the corners of your jaw, using the pain to force your mouth open wider.
Guiding your head forward, he sheathed himself to the hilt, the snug fit causing the tip to bump the back of your throat. His balls rest against your chin.
You inhaled hard through your nose, a violent gag bringing tears to your eyes. Relaxing was difficult as he set an unrelenting pace, forcing himself down your throat with every other thrust just to feel the muscles convulse and milk his fat cock.
Ropes of drool clung to the corners of your lips. Your jaw ached, liquid fire pumping through your veins at the sloppy sounds of him fucking your mouth. Your cunt throbbed in time with his thrusts, your thighs clenching rhythmically. He was absolutely wrecking your face but you’d never been so fucking hot for it before.
“Look at the pretty little slut hanging off my cock,” he says, hooking a thumb into your cheek and stretching your lips wider around the shaft. You moaned at the taste of warm metal and electricity. “You said you didn’t want it, but you’re taking me so well. Were you lying to me, baby?”
Your fingers wedged themselves under the hem of your jeans, the tips shoved past the front of your panties to play with your silken folds and tease your soaked entrance. Every word curled around you like smoke, molten heat pooled in your belly as fissions of awareness stabbed behind your navel. 
“Mmm,” you hummed, lashes fluttered as you lathed the underside of his head. 
“Yeah, you want it. I can tell. Fuck, you’re such a filthy little thing.”
He spurred you on to keep pace, his length throbbing and pulsing on your tongue every time he made you gag. Sloppy, wet, he glided in and out of your throat with ease.
Very little resistance met the sharp snap of his hips, the force of his thrusts nearly knocking you back. He was getting close, and you weren’t far off. Needy and desperate to be filled, your fingers not nearly enough to truly please.
When he pulled you off with a wet pop, you coughed as every drag of chilled air set your abused throat on fire. Your head was pounding, your vision doubled. Your senses were dulled, and it was only as he was reaching for you that your brain came back online.
Unhappy with the interruption, he rose a dark brow and asked, “’Please,’ what?”
"More," you said, the words cracked and well used, "please fuck me, need it."
“Oh?” A malicious smile spread across his face, spelling nothing but trouble for you. “Well, I’ll be damned. You really are a filthy little pervert.”
You loved every fucking second.
He wasted no time in bending down, rough hands wrapping around your hips to hoist you up. Your pants came off in record time, and you found yourself once more caged against the wall with one hand on your chest while the other tugged your panties to the side. 
You signed in pleasure, head rolled back.
And then the fat head of his cock was right there, no warning, no reprieve as it teased your sloppy entrance. You jerked, trying to bear down with all your weight to slip him inside. He tsked and tightened his grip.
“Ah, ah. Not yet. God, I really fucked every thought out of that pretty little head, didn’t I?” He chuckled, his tongue tracing the shell of your ear. “Aw, it’s okay, honey. Don’t cry. I like it better when you’re a dumb little cum slut anyway.”
Nudging forward, your soft walls gave way and stretched to accommodate his frankly ridiculous girth, the tip sinking in with a snug pop. Unable to stop it, you cried out and clutched at the wide breadth of his shoulders.
In a twist of fate, your attacker became your only anchor to reality. Every throb, every twitch sent sparks through your blood until you were dizzy with ravenous want.
He hums, “Now, what do we say?”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” you chanted, your hips rolling into his. “Please, no more. Can’t take it.”
Toyed with beyond your limits, you were so close to breaking your role just to smack Bucky over the head. It was getting to be too much, it was hard to think, hard to formulate the appropriate response when you were practically gagging for it.
Luck was in your favour as Bucky seemed as though he’d had enough as well because on your next breath he slid to the hilt with one thrust. You keen at being stretched open so suddenly without warning, the head kissing the tender flesh of your cervix.
Skull smacking into the wall, you trembled in his arms and had to remember to breathe. Euphoria settled over you, a warm blanket that filled your head with cotton. It was impossible to keep up the act.
A finger against your cheek grabbed your attention. “You always take me so well, baby,” Bucky said while taking in your slack-jawed expression with pride. “Such a good girl for me.”
You whined, “B-Bucky…” 
“F-Fuck!” 
Grunting, he surged forward. You held on as he used you, pleased hisses and high-pitched moans fucked out of you with every enthusiastic grind of his body. His hips smacked into yours, his balls slapping your ass as his cock rutted into the sodden warmth of your cunt over and over again with desperation. 
Squeezing your thighs around his hips, you tried to keep up with limited success. Once he got inside of you, he turned ravenous, dead set on bring you both over the edge several times before he was done. Pumping load after load into you until you’re sore and swollen, stuffed full of cum and so satisfied you would purr if you could.
"That's it, right there." You raked your hands through his hair, tugging his head towards your neck. "O,Oh my gooo-d. Please, keep fucking me just like that - just like that. Feels so fucking good." Cursing, he rammed forward, panting.
Stretched wide, his length reached all the right spots, leaving you a whining mess. Every thrust was a punch to the gut as he clutched you close, fingers rubbing harsh circles over your swollen, needy clit. “Please,” you cried, “so fucking close. I’m gonna -” His teeth gleamed like knives when he smiled. “Good kitten." His lips brushed the corner of your jaw, teeth nibbling on the bone. "Now cum for me." It took less than half a thrust before you gushed around his still moving cock, your gummy walls clenching so hard he whines as you soak him and his pants in a flood of squirt. The wet slaps of his hips increased, the angle of his thrusts grinding up to wring as much as he could from your orgasm.
“Holy s,shit! Oh, oh my fuckingg--”
Your head bounced off the wall, your fingers ripping at his hair as your back arched so hard you swear you pulled something. You were left weak limbed and unsteady, frame shaking so hard you slumped forward into the cradle of his chest as he continued to fuck you through your messy orgasm. 
Aftershocks tingled along your nerves, and in this moment you really were nothing more than a living fleshlight in Bucky’s brutish hold. The sloppy wet clap of his cock pounding into your fluttering cunt echoed throughout the bathroom, only drowned out by the muffled club anthem blaring over the loudspeaker. 
“Baby,” you said, your clit twitching pathetically when he groaned your name. You bounced with every feverish drive of his hips. “Baby, fill me up. Want your cum.”
“Fuck!”
The grip on your thighs tightened to the point of pain once more, his fingers indenting the fat. Little sparks of pain you would carry for days, ready to ignite with the press of a secret touch.
At last, he shoved forward for the last time and then stilled, his mouth dropping open in a near silent exaltation of absolute relief as he let go. You moaned in appreciation as you reveled in the bloom of warmth that grew with every rope of cum he pumped into you.
“That’s it, take it, baby. ‘s all for you.”
Pulling away with a soft noise after giving one more thrust, Bucky slid free from your body with a squelch. His spend slid down your leg in a thick line, sticking to the tender insides of your thighs. When you were back on your own two feet, you realized just how badly he’d roughed you up.
The stretch of your spine let you know you’d be feeling it tomorrow. Whenever you sat down, you’d no doubt throb in discomfort, muscles sore and overused. Not to mention the wave of cramps that always followed.
Suffice to say, it would be a long time before you played with the Winter Soldier again.
Worth it, though, you thought on wobbly legs as Bucky escorted you to the car.
Nevermind the funny looks shot your way. 
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The Original
Part Two of If You Can't Take the Heat
Stupider Tattoos | Masterlist | Barky's
Pairing: Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto x Reader
Rating: M (though it may have explicit chapters in the future)
Notes: Not beta-read. Chapters are more loosely connected than solidly structured. Also! I was overwhelmed by the response on the first chapter!! Thank you so much!!!
TAGGING NOTE:
 I’ve posted and reposted this thing three fucking times and the tags just aren’t working on the main page, but they work on my blog??  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lol fuck the tagging
Warnings: Fluff, mostly; cursing. A lot of cursing.
Summary: You’d recognized the shop when you’d arrived. You’d been there a time or  two between shifts, but not for a long time. Now, you’ve got the dining  room to yourself, sitting across from a guy you barely know, and you’re holding the best goddamn sandwich you’ve ever had in your fricking life. The arcade games blink behind his head, casting  flickering colored lights over his mussed, golden brown hair.
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“...Holy shit,” You mumble around your mouthful. Usually on a first date, you’d be a little more concerned about appearing uncouth, but you can’t help yourself. When you look at Carmy, you expect a smug, shit-eating grin. But what you find is a pleased, warm look on his face (though there is a hint of smugness there, too).
“Yeah?” He presses, dipping his head toward his own food.
“You kidding me? Oh my god. Holy shit.”
You’d recognized the shop when you’d arrived. You’d been there a time or  two between shifts, but not for a long time. Now, you’ve got the dining  room to yourself, sitting across from a guy you barely know, and you’re  holding the best goddamn sandwich you’ve ever had in your fricking life. The arcade games blink behind his head, casting  flickering colored lights over his mussed, golden brown hair. You watch as his diligent fingers pluck up a chip.
“You make those, too?” You ask, nodding to them.
“Try one and tell me.”
You narrow your eyes slightly, setting the sandwich down and dusting the crumbs from your hands before taking up one of the chips. You pop it into your mouth, eyes set on Carmy’s as you chew. You consider, chewing once, twice, then—
“These are Lays.”
“Yeah.”
You chuckle, looking down and poking at one of the crumbs of your sandwich.
“So,” You look around, “You start this place yourself?”
“Ah, no. No, it’s…It was my brother’s.”
Was. The shift in tense makes you curious, but you’re not sure it’s a good question to ask right out of the gate. Instead, you shift to, “You play a lotta Ballbreaker?”
“Huh? Oh—” He twists in his seat, eyeing the machine. “Uh…Actually…Can’t remember the last time I touched that thing.”
“Good. Then I can kick your ass at it later.”
“Oh yeah?” He chuckles, turning back to you.
“I got combos like you wouldn’t believe.”
Carmy smiles, reaching for his sandwich as you take up your soda.
“How long have you been uh, bartending?” He asks.
“Uh—Jeez, what…Five years now?”
“You like it?”
“Most of the time. I mean, the hours are shit, but the money is good. The place I work at now, Barky’s, it’s uh—It’s kind of an antique.”
“Whaddaya mean?”
“It’s just stuck in the 80s. It’s kinda frustrating. I wanna try new stuff, and when I have, it works, but the owner’s not too into it.”
“He tell you why?”
“Just that what he’s always done has worked, and it’ll keep working, aaaaaand,” You drag it out, shaking your head. “And he’s kinda a shithead, so, you know. I just grit my teeth and do my job.”
“Barky’s?”
“Mhm. You ever been?”
“I don’t think so.”
“It’s down in Wicker Park. Good space, cruddy furnishings…Shit menu.”
“They serve food there?”
“Uh-huh—Basic stuff. Fries, onion rings, mozzarella sticks, burgers. 90% of it is deep fried to shit, so.”
“Would you ever open your own place?”
“...I don’t know. I mean, I like bartending, but it was going to be uh….An in-between step, like a placeholder. But I don’t have a next step right now. Not a clear one. I don’t think I’d wanna open my own place, though, now. That would be…It’d be a lot.”
“Tell me about it.”
You smile, watching Carmy take up another a chip and pop it into his mouth.
“Okay, new subject,” You insist. “No more work. What do you do for fun?”
“Lure people into thinking they can beat me at Ballbreaker.”
“Oh,” You laugh, unable to help yourself. “Careful, Berzatto. Them’s fightin’ words.”
--
It’s oddly exhilarating, being pressed shoulder-to-shoulder with Carmy as you stab the buttons on the Ballbreaker. You taunt one another, cackle when you make a good move, crow when the other makes a better one. You’re each tipping side to side with your avatars, working the joysticks ruthlessly.
“Aw—fucking, goddamn, okay. Okay,” You shove your hand into your pocket and fish around for quarters. “Best two out of three.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously!” You drop the quarters in, one after the other, and slam the yes button.
“Good to know,” Carmy comments, hitting the same button.
“What is?”
“You’re into humiliation.”
“Shut up!”
“Nah, hey. I dig it.”
--
“Want a water?”
“Sure.”
You lean against the front counter, looking around the counter space as Carmy grabs you glasses. You can feel him looking in your direction, and when you turn to meet his eye, you find him hurriedly looking away. You smile a bit. You’re not sure what it is about him and eye contact—if it’s first date nerves, or if it’s just some part of him, some little bit that’s used to focusing on what's on the table in front of him, and not who’s sitting on the other side.
He walks over to you, setting down two tall plastic tupperware containers with water in them.
“Thanks.” You take one up, giving it a cursory whiff before taking a sip.
“Don’t trust me?”
“No, it’s not that. Last time I drank outta one of these, it was the one we usually keep the pearl onions in for Gibsons. I took one sip and I almost spewed.”
Carmy chuckles, nodding. “I’ve done that.”
“Isn’t it awful?”
“The worst.”
When you look at Carmy again, he holds your gaze for a moment. The streetlight slants through the window, brightening his already bright eyes. His gaze is warm, and curious, and you find yourself bashfully looking away first this time.
“So,” You fold your arms on the counter. “Why didn’t you delete the app if you figured the mysterious Richie would just mess with you on it?”
“Honestly? I kinda forgot it was there.”
“Oh, wow,” You chuckle. “So you’re not the one who did the swiping?”
“He probably did, a while ago.”
“Well, hope you don’t mind me saying so, but he’s got good taste.”
Carmy smiles, shaking his head. “I guess he did alright.”
“Pictures he picked for you weren’t bad, either.”
“I didn’t really look.”
“I figured when you didn’t know what your bio said. You change it yet?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“It’s workin’ for me so far.” Carmy says so with a sly, shy smile, peering at you from beneath his lashes. You can’t help but smile, turning your head to peer out onto the street as your skin prickles with warmth.
“It’s getting late,” You say. “I should get going.”
“Yeah, okay,” Carmy nods, watching you straighten up and following you toward the door.
“Thanks for not murdering me and stuffing me in the walk-in.”
“Anytime. Gotta keep the place up to code.”
You turn back to Carmy in the doorway, searching his face. There’s an odd, nervous bubbling in your stomach. You sort of want to kiss him. You’re not sure if he wants to kiss you.
“See ya, I guess,” You manage. Carmy nods a little, eyes darting from your face, over the shoulder, and back again. You finally dart in, pressing a kiss to his cheek and taking a step back. You only just manage to catch his stunned, slightly widened eyes before you turn away from him.
“You don’t smell like onion. You know,” You add as you step outside. “Just—For the record.”
Tag list: @bobawithpomegranate​ ; @brandyllyn ;  @artemiseamoon  ; @amneris21 ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ ; @backoff-imreading​ ; @quietpainter​ ; @milf-trinity​ ; @distinguishedfilipina​ ; @peoniarose​ ; @missredherring​ ; @estrela-rogers​ ; @silkiers (tried to tag; it didn’t work) ; @sammiekay01​
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rallamajoop · 20 days
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Twist my arm, why don’t you? XD Well, I did tell you guys to ask!
What the hell, let’s open this one by sharing a few pics from a Sims household created by a good friend of mine, made up of Heisenberg (mad scientist), Mia (secret agent) and Ethan (just really wants to be a dad). The three of them immediately became the most delightful sims-land trainwreck imaginable.
Their neighbourhood is full of werewolves, because you can do that in the Sims. Ethan’s apparently made friends with some of them. But because this is Sims-land, when he and Mia tried to have a romantic dinner together, it ended with Ethan passed out on the kitchen floor while Mia set herself on fire, with Heisenberg running in in his underwear with some passing hippie, and being no help whatsoever. Aren’t Sims wonderful?
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Beyond the land of the Sims, though… I mean, let’s be honest, my desire for mithanberg comes from how I ship both Ethan/Heisenberg and Ethan/Mia, and refuse to choose between them. I could see it working either as a proper OT3, or a poly arrangement where Ethan’s involved with both of them, but Mia and Heisenberg aren’t involved with each other (on which note, I also ship the hell out of Mia/Zoe, so Mia is not missing out here).
For the few really mithanberg-ish things I’ve ever posted so far, Follow Me Home is headed for the former category, whereas that other one is more likely headed for the latter. Going for the proper-OT3 option does come with the extra hurdle of trying to figure out how Mia/Heisenberg would work when they’ve never even met in canon, but I am fully up for the challenge.
But there’s way more to this ship for me than just the convenience of ‘why not both’. Seriously, wintersberg fic is missing out on so much by writing Mia off so quickly.
For one, Ethan’s somewhat-complicated relationship with Mia is the best evidence you could ask for that Ethan might actually be up for getting involved with someone as fucked up as Heisenberg (or even Chris, if you’re more into winterfield). Mia has canonically lied to Ethan, (accidentally) drawn him into mortal danger, and (while possessed) sliced off his hand with a chainsaw. Ethan’s still with her in RE8, so clearly he’s willing to forgive.
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Fig 1: Apparently not a dealbreaker!
Heisenberg, meanwhile, opens their relationship by stabbing Ethan with a fucking spear-headed fencepost, chains him up, drags him off be put on trial, and ‘rescues’ him only by throwing him into a gauntlet of lycans and spike traps. He later sends Ethan through the second gauntlet that is the Stronghold, before finally trying to make a deal with him. When Ethan refuses, Heisenberg throws him to a chainsaw-propeller-faced monstrosity made of engine parts sewed onto a corpse.
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Fig 2: Also not a dealbreaker?
I will make some excuses for Heisenberg, given that he’s been trapped in a repressive cult for decades and seems to have internalised a lot of bullshit about the strong destroying the weak, but holy shit is this guy red flag city (and I love it). And that’s not even touching on all the violent bullshit Chris pulls in this game. You may also note that neither Heisenberg or Chris have Mia’s convenient mind-control or replaced-by-a-shapeshifter excuse for their worst behaviour.
Ethan asks for none of the madness all these maniacs have injected into his life, but goddamn, does he learn to roll with it and come back swinging. Whether or not you assume Ethan ever found out the truth about Mia’s past, she offers us some solid proof that Ethan’s ‘type’ does not exclude covert special agents with a talent for violence, who’ve spent years working full-time for evil bioweapons manufacturers. Ethan may not be ready to admit to himself that he’s got a thing for dangerous people, and Mia may be a lot better at pretending to be normal than Heisenberg, but the fact Ethan’s still with her could say a lot.
Basically, if you wanna ship Ethan with either of these other guys, Mia Winters is the best ally you could ask for!
There are other problems with writing off Mia too quickly so you can ship Ethan with someone else, one being that it makes Ethan look like, well, kind of a psychopath. Fic after fic presents him as the kind of guy who can witness the mother of his child being brutally murdered in front of him, and within a matter of hours, he’s apparently realised he was never that happy with her anyway, so it’s just fine if he’s fucking some other dude. The fact the ‘Mia’ people are so quick to dismiss as an abusive bitch wasn’t even the real Mia apparently doesn’t necessitate any sort or reexamination. It’s basically a meme at this point.
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Thing is, even if his relationship with the real Mia was unhealthy, you just aren’t going to make a guy like Ethan process that within hours of watching her fucking assassination. Try and make him face it, and you’ll push him straight into defensiveness. Even at the best of times, Ethan’s just not the kind of guy who could leave the mother of his child without a fuckload of heartache and a few rounds of ‘what does this say about me’ at the very least (and Mia loves Ethan far too much to leave him, except in a misguided attempt to protect him). Even if you're writing an AU where Mia really does die (rather than just suffering the usual round of character assassination), at least let that poor boy ANGST about it! C’mon, people – that’s the juicy stuff!
Of course, the real problem fans are grappling with here is that in the current fandom climate, the idea that Ethan would willingly hook up with a guy who stabbed him in the gut that morning is still somehow more palatable than having to consider that Ethan might be capable of being (gasp!) less than completely faithful to a partner who doesn’t deserve it. So it’s not enough that he thinks Mia’s dead, she’s also got to be a horrible person and a complete non-entity who can be forgotten as quickly as we’ve brought her up, just to get her out of the way – as if that somehow makes Ethan look better.
People are so eager to get rid of Mia that I have legit read multiple different fics where, even after being mysteriously reborn post-game via horrific mould-magic, somehow one of the very first things Ethan wants to talk about afterwards is divorcing his wife. Can we not even give the poor guy a single scene to have a proper existential crisis over not being human anymore before finding a woman to blame for all his problems?
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Fig 3: Ethan's actual thoughts on his wife right before his death
On the greater subject of that whole inconvenient marriage poor Ethan's saddled with, I can only say ‒ again ‒ c’mon, people, that’s the juicy stuff! A good story needs conflict, and Ethan having had this weird hook-up with/confusing attraction to an incredibly creepy guy in the middle of an incredibly confusing day and while he thought his wife was dead, only to later discover that she’s alive? GOLD.
You don’t even necessarily have to wrap it all back around to a happy OT3 scenario. An Ethan who's struggling with Mia’s (actual) death, or even the realisation that he truly can’t deal with all her lies, all while telling himself Heisenberg’s just a rebound fling that doesn’t mean anything – that’s all the angst and pathos and opportunities for filthy smut you could ever ask for! Lean into it! Heck, the Duke tells Ethan outright that he can’t go back to his old life anymore – you could have Ethan decide his own status as a mould-creature makes him too dangerous to go back to Mia and Rose. More angst, more drama, more actual material for narrative conflict!
tl;dr: Write Mia off in a sentence, and not only have you made Ethan look like an asshole, you’ve made your story boring. And thus (thank you for bearing with me) ends my tangent about The State of Wintersberg Fandom, and why Mia deserves more love (from Ethan at least, even if the author can't completely bring themselves to join in).
Getting back to the real topic here: if you are up for letting your resolution involve an OT3 scenario, you’ve got some great options to play with.
Mia bossing the other two around is certainly an angle you could go for, but I think I’d prefer watching Mia and Heisenberg working together to drive Ethan out of his mind (not that options like these are ever mutually exclusive, mind!) But I’m broadly more interested in how you get these three together than what it would look like once they get there. In other words, it’s time to talk Mia and Heisenberg.
As I touched on above, these two do have more in common than it might look at a glance. They’ve both been infected by the mould, they’ve both spent years (or even decades) trapped in dysfunctional, cult-like, mould-controlled families, and had to bottle themselves up and hide behind a persona while working for truly terrible people. They’ve both done some truly terrible stuff themselves, probably watched even worse happen to other innocent people, and presumably internalised some pretty awful excuses for themselves along the way. They’re also both madly in love with Ethan (what, is anyone into wintersberg going to argue with me on that one?) In short, there is no lack of stuff for these two to bond over and find common ground.
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I can’t see Mia being too hard to convince if Ethan does want to try an open relationship either. Heck, the first thing we ever see from Mia involves sending Ethan a message where she tries to let him go, because she doesn’t think she’s making it back alive. Her guilt throughout RE7 is palpable, and how much she loves Ethan is the same. I don’t think it’s any stretch to say Mia would be willing to contemplate almost anything if it would make Ethan happy (and frankly, she’s pulled enough shit herself in this relationship that she doesn’t get to get judgy anyhow).
That said, I do think she’d have reasonable concerns about Ethan’s new boyfriend being someone like Heisenberg, but then, he’s hardly any more dangerous than what Mia’s brought to the table herself. If anything, your bigger obstacle would be convincing Ethan that he’s sure enough about whatever’s going on with Heisenberg to admit it at all. But then, I don’t think getting Mia and Heisenberg involved with each other too would be too difficult either.
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It doesn’t hurt that Mia has a lot of the same characteristics that probably draw Heisenberg to Ethan: a badass survivor, tough and determined enough to be a little sassy even in the face of danger, but still very vulnerably human underneath. That vulnerable side of Mia is a very important part of her to me – it’s the main aspect in play in the longest thing I’ve (yet) posted with any Mia/Heisenberg interaction, where she’s locked up in Miranda’s lab, and has no good reason to trust him. There’s nothing openly shippy going on in that story, though Heisenberg makes no bones about what he wants with her husband. I’m not sure exactly where things are headed in that universe, but you know there’s drama coming on in that front.
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The main point there is that Mia’s not too badass to be intimated by Heisenberg, especially when she’s got her back up against the wall. Take them out of the village, though, and I can see Mia being a much tougher nut to crack.
Which is mostly my way of leading into mentioning that the longest thing I’ve written between them that I haven’t posted yet basically flips the previous scenario: instead of Heisenberg coming to tell Mia he’s after her husband, now it’s Mia coming to tell him she knows what he’s after, and he's about to receive some serious grilling about his intentions. What I realised in writing it was that somewhere in the middle of this conversation, Heisenberg goes from seeing Mia as an obstacle between him and Ethan to seeing her as a potential bonus. He’s impressed with her gall and starting to look at her in a whole new light. This is one ficbit that's definitely going places ‒ only problem being the usual one: I’ve still got to write the rest of the damn fic to get to that scene. (I’m working on it! But you know how it goes.)
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That isn’t the only way I can see you getting the three of them together, of course. One interesting alternate possibility might be to suggest that Mia and Heisenberg have met before. Mia seems to have met Miranda (they’ve been photographed together, at least), and it’s not completely beyond the realms of possibility that Miranda might have brought along an ‘assistant’ (slash-bodyguard-slash-whatever else she thinks he’s useful for). And if she’s going to bring any of her ‘children’, Heisenberg is by far the best qualified to pass as normal, hilarious as that should be.
I don’t imagine either Heisenberg of Mia would be eager to admit any of their personal reservations about their respective ‘bosses’ to each other, meeting under circumstances like that. But the possibilities are intriguing nonetheless.
For complete AU territory, however, I don’t think you could find a better start point for an Ethan/Mia/Heisenberg scenario than to introduce Heisenberg as Mia’s ex. He’d be back in her life for Reasons, and Ethan would naturally be more than a little threatened by this huge, hot guy with history with his wife, little realising that Heisenberg’s as interested in Ethan as he is in rekindling anything with her.
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Or for doing the whole thing on easy-mode, suppose Mia and Ethan have always been in an open relationship from the start – or that they’ve already had that conversation because Mia’s also in love with Zoe (I meant it when I said I ship them too!) Doesn’t mean there’s no angst or drama potential for Ethan getting involved with Heisenberg: he’s still going to be questioning what’s wrong with him that this guy is turning his crank, or whether it’s remotely appropriate for him to be seeing someone new while he’s got a six-month-old daughter at home. But if nothing else, I can promise you that having a third person around to babysit while Ethan’s ‘busy’ could only do good things for his sex life at this point. ;D
So, yeah – those would be My Thoughts On Mithanberg in a nutshell (or possibly more of a nut bowl, I can never resist the urge turn out a full essay on this stuff). If you’ve got any interest in writing mithanberg yourself, please do consider all these ideas free to a good home! Treating Mia better makes Ethan/Heisenberg better for me, and all those possibilities are right there to explore.
But to finish, have some more random Sims!
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There are many more of these if anyone wants to see them, though most are less G-rated ‒ the friend running this household has installed ALL of the porn mods to enhance this little trainwreck.
(Also, before I'm done, just throwing a quick tag at @macgyvertape, since I had to screenshot their ask rather than reply 'officially' so I could reply to the both of them at once.)
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astrobei · 1 year
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Hello Suni astrobei. For end of year asks, I ask you 2 and 12
hi abby strangeswift !! ok so i got a couple asks for 2 so i’m going to answer that one elsewhere so i can focus my full attention on Gushing !
12. talk about a new friend you made this year
ok i’m about to get seriously so sappy so if you don’t feel like reading through all this feel free to Leave (no hard feelings LOL)
i’m someone who has a pretty small social circle irl so i never thought i’d meet so many wonderful ppl this year, and definitely not online and definitely not because i started writing fanfiction again LOL like if u told january suni this she’d look at u like 👁👁 on a more serious note though this year was insane for me. so much changed really quickly in my life and i’m so beyond grateful that amidst all the chaos i was led to all of u guys ! literally if we’ve had even one conversation on here there’s a very high chance i’ve referred to u as a friend irl so. do with that what u will.
abby and ella (@elekinetic) and sierra (@finalgirlbyers) i want u guys to know that i treasure u all So Much. like even if our convos are sporadic or if we talk exclusively through asks ur presence on my dash brings me so much joy and i look forward to each post u make and each message and each ask and each incoherent ramble in the tags !! i don’t have Favorite Mutuals but if i did it would be u guys because it’s insane how much i light up seeing ur urls ! i hope 2023 brings so many more wonderful interactions w u guys, u rly make my mindless scrolling on tumblr 100x more fun
yvie @nnilkyway HELLO i am so so beyond grateful i met them this year ! what a strange stroke of luck too bc i was so obsessed w their art before we met and hearing him say he was a big fan of my work was like. mind boggling. anyways yvie is literally one of the funniest people i have ever met in my life oh my god it’s so rare for me to find people whose sense of humor just Clicks with mine but like. four messages in and we were sending each other memes and becoming best friends and it was fantastic! i have never once felt weird or intimidated talking to them which is crazy for me, a person who feels weird and intimidated a Lot, and also need i reiterate his INSANE TALENT !! like holy shit ! my go to person for talking about gf mike wheeler or mitski or literally just anything and everything. yvie if you’re reading this i am putting u in my pocket and holding u so close. mwah. also we are married, btw. if anyone cares.
haven @bookinit02 OK. you all have heard me gush about haven a million and one times on this blog and i’m sure you’ve seen her gush about me because she’s (rightfully) obsessed with me (/j. kind of) but haven was the first friend i ever made in the byler community which is so so beyond insane to me. i fell in love with her writing so instantaneously and you guys should’ve been there to see my reaction when i saw her leave her first comment on my fic. literally screamed it was so embarrassing 😭 we talked exclusively through ao3 comments for a while because she’d yell every time i updated ihcisc and i’d yell every time she updated her season 2 rewrite and then one day she dm’d me asking me to make a twt to add me to a byler gc and the rest was History. anyways haven is one of the most talented most creative people i’ve ever met BUT she’s also one of the sweetest and most compassionate people on the face of this planet and deserves nothing but good things always ! she’s one of those people that i need to talk to every day or i’ll go insane and i love how our convos can speedrun the entire human spectrum of emotions within like. 5 minutes. she’s so incredibly supportive and my #1 hype girl and she has the freaky ability to entirely turn my mood around on a bad day in less than 20 seconds. she literally managed to sleuth around and find my venmo just to send me soup money. if i could buy her Everything then i literally would. i would eat cilantro for her. i would watch the mlvn makeout scene for her. i would get my socks wet for her. literally i would do anything for her and i can’t wait until i see her in june and i chase her in circles around the airport and then we kiss👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽 and we Hug so tight and platonically 🫂
thea @wiseatom u already know. i tell her every day that i would do literally anything she asked of me and it’s true! literally 2 minutes ago she said “suni u should dye ur hair green” and for a moment i seriously considered it. anyways thea is objectively the funniest fucking person i have ever met in my life and is also my twin. if my twin were blond and taller and also a different age. in all seriousness though thea feels like the world’s most insane older sister to me and as an Actual older sister i’m really loving the feral little sibling treatment. she’s so insane easy to talk to (probably bc our brains work in the exact same way) and Oozes talent from literally every single cell in her body. she sends me a snippet of her work and i spend the next 10 minutes rolling on the floor trying not to SCREAM. there are so few people who can make me laugh as much as she does but also turn me into a blubbering mess of a baby with her Evil Cruel Prose 2 seconds later but thea wiseatom has been put on this planet to achieve the impossible. i have rarely felt so seen as i do when i talk to her, whether it’s for advice or Wallowing or complaining about our disproportionately large heads together, she is so kind and supportive and one of my favorite people Ever. i can’t believe the universe put her 3000 miles away from me because i Need to be a menace to her in person but we’ll make it work. every day i say goodnight to her at 8 pm my time and then say good morning to her at 2 am my time and then i go to bed <3 thea if you’re reading this (and u better be. i tagged u) i hope u know that u are the light of my life and i am packing my bindle as we speak to begin the cross country trek. mwah.
@andiwriteordie ANDI ! i miss talking to u every day but u are so busy with ur big girl job and cranking out quality fics at light speed so i’ll give u a pass 😔 andi is literally a legend in the byler fic community so when i found out she Knew Who I Was,,, i died. i literally died. even when we haven’t talked in a while i love how we can pick up a convo like nothing has changed or send posts that remind us of each other or go crazy apeshit in each others tags like there’s no tomorrow !! andi is so so inspirational to me, she is so kind and creative and full of positivity (even if her writing is mean and full of Sadness and Misery. still haven’t forgiven u for descent, btw) she feels like my other older sister and she has such an insane way with words that i will never understand ! thank u for singlehandedly keeping byler tumblr going, i hope 2023 is so kind to u and u get ultra promoted and have so much fun at the eras tour like u deserve <3
moon aka @smoosnoom omg ok not only is moon so crazy talented but she is such! a sweet person! back when i started writing for byler she was such an enigma to me, an ao3 user and a total Mystery, so i never expected us to actually talk and now! here we are! she is so uplifting and supportive and i’ve loved getting to know her over the past few months, whether it’s bonding over our shared hatred (affectionate. mostly) of finn wolfhard or bawling our eyes out to everything everywhere (oh my god.) seeing her comment on my first fic literally made my heart stop dead in my chest. she has such a gift for making everyone feel so immediately accepted and welcome in any space, and i will spend the rest of my life stewing in anger that she’s taller than me. that feels extremely, unfathomably illegal. anyway moon if ur reading this (and u also better be! bc i tagged u!!) i hope the new year is so good to u <3 mwah ily
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0l-unreliable · 9 months
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I just want to say I wholeheartedly agree with the previous anon
YOU ARE FANTASTIC !!!
F A N T A S T I C
I absolutely love everything you post and honestly was a little too shy to ask anything before but now that I know that was your first ask I just can’t stop until you know how fucking great you are cuz WOW just wow
I’ve had your ghost Andrew AU on my mind ever since you posted it cuz it such a cool fucking concept I can’t (AND TWINYARDS I LOVE EM SO MUCH!!!!) and then you added more of your headcanons and NEIL? HALF BLIND NEIL THAT CAN SEE GHOST ANDREW WITH HIS BLIND EYE???!!! G E N I U S
AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON FEM ANDREIL AHHHHHH (im so gay)
The way u draw is mesmerising, the colors, the poses, the little details, THEIR EXPRESSIONS???? FUCK I can’t stop looking at them
LOVE U WITH ALL OF MY HEART YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE ARTIST I LOVE YOUR ART AND YOUR HEADCANONS AND LITTLE NOTES AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT FUCKING DAY CUZ YOU DESERVE IT <3333333
Take my phone away from me cuz I won’t stop can’t stop you’re the best
Love love love 🥹
holy shit thank you. I try to make everything at least a little bit interesting and Andrew is a top-notch muse, he's right in my comfort zone for art. I really only got into digital art like 3-4 years ago but like hell am I not going to draw him the most beautiful way I can (and I guess Aaron too).
feel free to send more asks, it harder to shut me up than it is to get me talking
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trouffle · 3 months
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blah blah life update cus i’m sick and it’s a void moon today & im procrastinating breakfast
in 2023 i started and lost 2 jobs (both location closures) & the second one was the closest i ever got to financial “stability” ut it was also a server job in lower manhattan so. need i say more. now i’m a bartender at a movie theater working 15-20 hours a week (which i did at my last job making 500-800 base cus rich ppl are insane and autograt is a blessing) when i was guaranteed upwards of 30-35 during the hiring process and i truly have no clue what miserable hell i’m about to launch myself into finding a job that pays me more than $50 a shift post-tax. it is so stressful and makes me feel so ashamed even tho i have familial support bc it feels like i should just be… doing “better” aka making more money. side note, one of the customers at my old job accidentally dropped a $100 bill, i brought it to her instead of pocketing it to let her know, she most definitely didn’t realize nor cared she literally looked at it like it was a single and they still left $0 in tip…. lol america
but then i step back and realize what i’ve been doing in the name of passion all last year. after planning since summer 2022, my first ever drag performance was in feb 2023. my first ever produced show was april 2023 and it was longform, experimental narrative drag derived from my own astrology practice. i’ve co produced 2 shows (would’ve been 3 but we cancelled and it was a bad move..)
and now going into 2024 i’m producing my first ever rave and debuting as a dj this monday. i’m booked for an experimental drag-noise show at one of my fav venues, just bought a camcorder and got my point n shoot fixed (i didn’t know how to take out.. the film 😔), have my first live model figure drawing, & am on the track to keep producing shows and beginning to take over dj mom’s collective. after i lost my second job i turned towards drag / my freelancing work i marketed via drag to pay my bills and all it did was excessively burn me out, brought me to the edge of despising drag & wanting to quit it all. the instance i chose money over passion the entire ENTIRE process was ruined. i took a step back, started djing, and if i thought drag saved my life BEFORE it def was all leading up to this as i’m ushering in a new dimension of creativity and musicianship into my desperately burnt out soul from graduate school & a decade of classical music training
i am fucking terrified of what 2024 will bring bc in 2023 i lost 2 jobs AND 2 of my best friends via conflict and have just felt so unbearably ashamed and confused bc idk i have credit card debt and rent to pay?????? it’s so fucking confusing being alive but i truly don’t think i would be here if it wasn’t for pursuing drag in the last year or so give or take. i am so so so immensely grateful for it and find myself in constant shock & awe that this is where i am
its scaryyyyy to be as publicly and openly vulnerable as you have to be a public artist holy shit esp when ppl are so gleefully cruel nowadays bht i wouldn’t trade it for the world, esp cus irs brought me to actual community & a sense of home i’ve never felt in any institutions or with my family. i’m scared bht i’m grateful. i’m tired but there’s so much to look forward to. rn i’m just sick as fuck with a respiratory infection but my show is in 2 days :3
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lets-pretend-i-exist · 6 months
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“Growing up queer can feel monstrous, and I need to see that on screen. When you get preached at that people like you go to Hell for what you are and the ways you want, you start to relate to the demons. When you’re taught the truest, most joyful parts of you are unholy, it’s fair to ask—why should I respect the authority of a system that hates me for reasons I can’t control?
You learn to disguise your desire, and it changes you. It changes you to choke down your feelings, to deny them, to believe that they are sin. You learn to pour them into the hidden language of love that arises between you and whoever you’re lucky enough to share it with, so you don’t learn how to say them aloud. (Their arrangement, “little demonic miracle of my own,” the fourth alternative rendezvous. This is what queer love has looked like for millennia: something beautiful and true, despite, despite, despite.) Unlike those whose love has only ever been legal, permitted, “normal,” “holy”—your relationship is inescapably shaped by the threat behind it.”
“Serpent of Eden, gardener cast from the garden, sculptor of starlight doomed to the pits of hell. You thought nothing would hurt worse than falling, and then you fell for him.”
“You can’t leave this bookshop, Crowley says, but he’s asking, don’t you want me?
Nothing lasts forever, Aziraphale says, but he’s saying there’s nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice for you.”
“This is the shit I’ve been waiting for all my life. When God abandons you, when you’re not sure what to believe in, who to trust—look at who knows you. Who sees you, and wants to know who you are.
Queer love isn’t neat. The closet isn’t just one thing. Love isn’t love isn’t love isn’t love. I’ve always hated that expression, because queerness should be normalised, not defanged.”
“He’s not a human, but he is queer: his love is forbidden, marginalized, at odds with the foundations of morality he’s been taught. And like many queers who get the opportunity to rise through the ranks of a discriminatory system, he thinks he can change it from the inside.”
“This is how human. There’s nothing of you I don’t want. You’ve got me. I want anything you’ll give me, as long as it’s you.”
“If Crowley could feel the Bentley go yellow, I can only imagine what it felt like to drive through hellfire to meet Aziraphale at the air base at the end of the world.”
-
I feel like I’m going to be sick: every paragraph of this post is one astute gut-punch after another.
It feels like the author has strung together all the nebulous pieces – pieces that draw a spot of blood when the curious observer pricks a finger on them individually – to form a somewhat gruesome answer that one feels should have been obvious from the outset. Electricity pulses through the remnant parts and they roar to life in terrifying glory.
I’m thinking about Troye Sivan singing “if I’m changing a part of me / maybe I don’t want heaven.” I’m thinking about “the only heaven I’ll be sent to / is when I’m alone with you.” I’m thinking about six thousand years of codes and handwritten notes and meeting on the top of buses, and in art galleries, and at concerts and St James’ Park and all of it necessarily taking place in the background. I’m thinking about everyone else being able to see it clearly but those involved being unable to give voice to the precious, peaceful, fragile existence that we have carved out for ourselves. I’m thinking about Neil calling this season “quiet and gentle and romantic” and that being true but also so completely deceptive.
Season 2 did break me in a way that I don’t think any media, even intrinsically queer media like Sense8, has done before. It didn’t just take up residence in my mind for every spare second of the day. It took me weeks to even mostly recover from the complete decimation it enacted on much of my mind and heart. And in a terribly conceited way, the more I think about it (beyond the profound power of the media itself), this is because I relate to Aziraphale in terms of my past and I relate to Crowley in terms of my imagined future. My present self sits somewhere in between.
Aside from the whole concept of gender representation and presentation — an even more complicated matter than this — I see my past self as like Aziraphale, desperately trying to reconcile who I knew I was and what I knew I wanted with the system and community that I was embedded in. Wanting to believe that people could change their minds if I just compromised enough, just went slowly enough, just worked diligently enough and conformed enough.
I haven’t quite reached the point I want to be: somewhere nearby to Crowley’s position – of shrugging off the whole system and edifice, ripping up the ending, leaving nothing but freedom and choice. I’m not there yet; still clinging to some naive, vague notion that there is any level to which one can compromise one’s own self for the palatability of others without effectively rejecting the self entirely.
I think that seeing this dichotomy presented in s2 like that, converging suddenly, ultimately collapsing in on itself, felt like something breaking within me. These lies and half-truths we tell each other, these stories we use to get through the day — that abrupt loss, realising these choices are fundamentally incompatible… in a non-suicidal way, that loss was internally reminiscent of the fate of Neil Gaiman’s 24/7 diner. When all that artifice and self-soothing is stripped away and one is forced to reckon with what little remains, how will the gap be filled? What will one choose to do? Bury the self or forsake the system?
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imjess-themess · 1 year
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I posted 1,004 times in 2022
That's 1,004 more posts than 2021!
256 posts created (25%)
748 posts reblogged (75%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@callsign-fox
@therebeccaw
@callsign-phoenix
@marvelandotherfandomimagines
@wildbornsiren
I tagged 631 of my posts in 2022
Only 37% of my posts had no tags
#top gun: maverick - 139 posts
#bradley bradshaw - 124 posts
#bradley bradshaw x reader - 121 posts
#rooster bradshaw x reader - 95 posts
#jake seresin x reader - 92 posts
#incorrect quotes - 89 posts
#incorrect top gun quotes - 88 posts
#rooster top gun - 76 posts
#asks and replies - 66 posts
#fic rec - 66 posts
Longest Tag: 97 characters
#genuinely her thristing over her husband with the rest of the internet is the funniest thing ever
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Green With Envy
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Summary: When your friend comes for a visit to celebrate your birthday, she catches the eye of one Jake Seresin (the man you’re in love with), making you green with envy.
Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of sex. Little angst, lotta fluff. Some jealousy. 18+ Only please! Minors DNI.
A/N: Hope you enjoy! Thank you to @therebeccaw for being my beta!
See the full post
1,889 notes - Posted November 25, 2022
#4
Rooster: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Y/N: Wow. They sound stupid.
Rooster: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Y/N: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Rooster: I guess you’re right. Hey Y/N, I love you.
Y/N: See! Just say that!
Rooster: Holy fucking shit.
Y/N: If that flies over their head then, sorry Rooster, but they're too dumb for you.
Rooster: Y/N.
1,893 notes - Posted June 23, 2022
#3
A List of the Things I Love
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Summary: Y/N doesn’t think that Jake can list five things that he loves. He’s determined to prove her wrong.
Pairings: Hangman x Fem!Reader, Phoenix x Fem!Reader (Platonic)
Warnings: Some Angst, really fluffy cheesiness, Mentions of sex, but no actual smut. MINORS DNI 18+
Authors note: This is beyond cheesy. But I like cheese so it’s fine. Hope you guys like it!
Part Two
————————————————————————
If Y/N asked Jake Seresin to write her a list of the things he loved, she would have guessed that there’d only be four things listed and in no particular order:
1. His parents
2. Flying as a Naval Aviator
3. Himself
4. Sex
As much as she wanted to be part of that list, she knew it would never happen. A relationship with Jake (in his words) was off the table because he barely had a moment to spare between deployments and other special detachments. To her it seemed he had a fear of commitment, seeing as he never failed to make time for her.
So she settled for what she could get, being his best friend. He was hard to get along with, and most people didn’t entertain the cocky attitude, but Y/N didn’t mind. She was one of the few people that could drag him back down to earth when his head got too full.
She had met Jake about six years ago, when her best friend Natasha had begrudgingly introduced the two. Y/N had just moved to San Diego and Natasha was in the Top Gun program, so the two hadn’t seen each other in a while.
They met up at The Hard Deck just a few days after Y/N had moved into her new place, and Natasha introduced her to all of the fellow naval aviators, which In Natasha’s words “unfortunately included” Hangman.
Hangman didn’t waste a minute before hitting on the girl, which Natasha did not appreciate. Y/N was flattered, and while attracted to the handsome pilot, she wasn’t looking to hook up with anyone at the time. Since Jake was unsuccessful in taking her home that evening, he moved on to another target.
Y/N immediately recognized that he wasn’t someone looking for anything permanent, so when he continued to try and seduce her, he was unsuccessful.
She didn’t want to sleep with him once and then have things be awkward since they shared a mutual friend. He eventually gave up trying, but the two became unbelievably close, much to Tasha’s chagrin.
After graduating from Top Gun and being deployed elsewhere, Jake made sure to keep in contact with Y/N. They’d text and call one another when they could. Any time he had a free moment to stop by San Diego he would. She even flew out to visit him a few times.
People would always assume the two were dating with how often their free time was spent visiting one another. Even Natasha wasn’t convinced that the two didn’t have any type of feelings towards one another.
“Tash, Jake doesn’t do feelings. And even if he did, I don’t feel anything for him.” Lies.
No one else knew but Jake and Y/N’s relationship did eventually evolve into a friends with benefits situation.
One night while watching a movie, the two of them started talking about how their last few relationships (or hookups in Jake’s situation) had been a let down and had left the two feeling very frustrated.
“I’ve never even had a guy go down on me! Every guy has been about their own pleasure, and I’m about ready to give up.” Y/N took a sip of her wine, as she complained to the pilot.
Jake’s head snapped towards Y/N at her confession, his brows furrowed in confusion. “What types of guys are you dating? Everyone knows that part of what brings you pleasure is also making sure your partner is satisfied.”
Y/N shrugged, picking at the blanket on her lap “Not everyone thinks like you I guess.”
Jake shook his head, “They sure don’t.” He paused for a moment contemplating his next words as Y/N continued to watch the movie.
“Do you want me to show you what it’s like?”
Y/N froze at his words. Her heart started beating faster than it ever had at the thought. “What?!“
See the full post
1,924 notes - Posted July 8, 2022
#2
Hangman: I told Rooster that his ears turn red when he lies.
Y/N: Do they?
Hangman: No.
Y/N: Then why did you tell him that?
Hangman: Because I can do this.
Hangman: Hey Rooster! Do you love Y/N?
Rooster, with his hands over his ears: No…
1,980 notes - Posted June 21, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Hangman: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘We are very proud of you. Love, Rooster and Y/N*
Bob: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*
2,194 notes - Posted June 22, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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taelonsamada · 1 year
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I posted 4,359 times in 2022
That's 3,858 more posts than 2021!
3,282 posts created (75%)
1,077 posts reblogged (25%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@dollscircus
@zozo-01
@fallseidol
@ejunkiet
@sealriously-sealrious
I tagged 1,147 of my posts in 2022
#redacted asmr - 348 posts
#redacted darlin - 253 posts
#redacted sam - 216 posts
#dollscircus - 153 posts
#my writing - 127 posts
#redacted david - 124 posts
#redacted asher - 113 posts
#redacted milo - 83 posts
#myart - 79 posts
#fallseidol - 73 posts
Longest Tag: 134 characters
#there are people who i suspect i know will lose their mind over certain fics and literally hold my breath waiting to see what they say
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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WAIT WHAT?!
9 VIDEOS!?
IT’S EVEN BETTER THAN I WAS EXPECTING!!
👀
Geordi?? ASHER?! SAM?!? MAYBE? PLEASE?!
182 notes - Posted May 15, 2022
#4
So I’ve downed almost a litre of water after that, and I’m having FEELINGS about Sam’s newest audio!!! Putting it under a cut cause spoilers, nsfw talk and cause I’m gonna ramble
First off, the fact that Darlin was sitting waiting on his porch for him was so fucking cute but also heartbreaking at the same time. That they wanted to talk to him badly enough to sit and wait on his porch for an hour, but didn’t want to bother him by letting him know. That they would just wait there for as long as it took.
And then hearing him mutter while he dug around and gave them a key was just… 😭
This also explains why Sam didn’t get an Aftershock. He stuffed it all down. There wasn’t anything to show from him because he wasn’t ready to show it yet. Also, fuck yes, reclaiming his love of driving, not letting Alexis take that from him.
I cried so many times listening to him recount what he went through. Especially the part about David. But listening to him lament and spiral, grinding on how he could have done this, how this could have happened if he’d still been that… the PAIN in his voice, his struggles not to burst into tears on the spot. I knew I was going to need to hydrate for this video, but I didn’t think I’d need to from crying so hard.
Also, how dare you, Sam Collins, claim you’re not a poet, after giving the single most beautiful confession I’ve ever heard. I know this wasn’t technically his confession video, that he already did, but he dropped The L Word this time around, and in such a beautiful, devastatingly sweet way… just… FUCK…
But oh man, when I heard that man say he was ready, all the air left my lungs, I just… 🥵
I nearly died when he stopped and assured Darlin about their body ❤️ to have something the fandom largely headcanoned be made official was SUCH a giddy moment for me X3 and he did such a wonderful job of it too ♥️ and that he stopped IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DEED to give us ANOTHER heartbreakingly sweet confession about how important Darlin is to him, and how much this meant??
But tHE SPICY LEVEL OF THIS??? HOLY SHIT????
MR SAM COLLINS, THAT WAS QUITE A BIT OF GROWLING AND SNARLING YOU DID, SIR.
Yet even with how… INTENSE he got, he still constantly asked and sought out those enthusiastic YES’s every time, and this is why we love him 😊
BUT BY THE FATES SIR, SOME OF THE LINES YOU WERE DROPPING???
“Pitch those hips of yours up a bit” 👀💦
“You wanna ride your cowb - Oh, you little - Get over here.” 😈
“I oughta whoop your ass for that one you menace… But I suppose there’s better things to be doin’ with that work of art you got back here.” SIR!!
“You fittin’ to bounce on this cock?” 🥵
“You gonna be good for me? Cause I plan to be very good to you” @////@
But then he wanted to just stay there and hold them after and I just… I just… 😭 ❤️ ✨
I just… I gotta go… drink some more water… and lay down for a bit… and cry
244 notes - Posted April 16, 2022
#3
So… hey @sealriously-sealrious … I just wanna talk… about how I’ve barely been up an hour and I’m already dehydrated… cause of the SPICY LEVEL OF HUXLEY CONTENT YOU KEEP DISHING OUT ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Seriously guys, go read their latest Huxley fic… be sure to bring a glass of water though, it’s most definitely STEAMY… Couldn’t resist a quick doodle of some of the imagery that stuck with me most ❤️‍🔥
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258 notes - Posted March 29, 2022
#2
No words, just Tattooed Huxley
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274 notes - Posted March 24, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Okay, so I may have fibbed a bit about this not being ready for a while… I just had so much fun, I couldn’t help it! Too bad Davey’s not having as much fun ^^;; go read about the trouble Darlin’ puts him through here in @dominimoonbeam ‘s wonderful story
Yes, I will put the Redacted boys in jeans as much as I can. I still stubbornly hold to the fact that a pair of well fitted jeans are sexy as hell 😈
And yes, Angel totally got him that necklace as a joke, but he stubbornly wears it every day ♥️
Okay, now to get to work on those commissions LOL
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416 notes - Posted March 30, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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sweepseven · 1 year
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Cirque du Soleil: O and KÀ viewing notes, post-pan edition!
First trip to Las Vegas since the pandemic and holy shit!! Was it a TIME. The When We Were Young festival was my excuse to be there, but I can’t set foot in that town without fitting in at least one Cirque show. I managed O and Ka and a last-second Atomic Saloon decision and oh my god did I have the visit of a lifetime. I’ll keep this post strictly to the circus shows, but like. Truly it was nuts. 
Anyway! O! I cannot overstate how happy I was to see this show again. This turned out to be my 50th ever Cirque performance and I couldn’t have asked for more. The detail most worth reporting is that according to a friend in the box office, whispers say the show is due for a refresh in January! It's been 24 years and O has never had a facelift! This is so so exciting! There's so much new technology they can integrate into the show, potentially new acts (though I can't imagine O without any one of its current acts), maybe even new music...I can't wait.
Richard MacDonald refreshed the sculpture gallery the very day I arrived in town and of course they're all incredible. He was there and apparently I just missed him when I went to pick up our tickets - too bad, I wanted to say hi!
Our performance was flawless, as always. One flyer fell during bateau but every other detail in the show went beautifully. I had three contortionists, and for some reason I am cursed to only ever see solo swinging trapeze but whatever, it was amazing regardless. The singers were going fucking hard, especially on Tzelma, and their little dance during Simcha was worth the cost of admission alone. I just love seeing them have fun. Crowd was solid, probably 75% full, which for O is more than plenty. There were nothing but empty rows behind us so my friends and I moved back a little ways so we could chat. I've never gotten to talk through an entire performance and it was such a treat hearing my friends react, ask questions, and just engage with the show with so much enthusiasm.
Last thing for O is that the day of the show I received a kind of "keep the magic going" email from Cirque offering up to 50% off LOVE and Ka, which is insane! Like, an almost alarmingly steep discount! And of course everyone likes to say both those shows are on the eternal chopping block, so I was a little 👀 about it. Still, hot tip for all: if you're seeing multiple Cirque shows in LV, maybe take the gamble on seats and wait until the day of your first, get that email, then book the others. I wouldn't expect to see an offer for a discount on O or Mystere, but worth a shot!
That said if anyone would like this offer, lmk and I'll gladly forward you the email. It's good until 12/31 and I won't be back in time to take advantage of it!
Next up was Atomic Saloon and I'll just say that show is an absolute fucking blast and if you can go, do. Fernando Miro is living his best life times a thousand. There's a dog. There's some of the most convincing physical acting I've ever ever seen, and I won't go into more detail for the sake of preserving the surprise for you. See this show. The end. Period.
So now Ka! By this point in the trip I am utterly fucking tapped. We had seen and done so so much between the shows, the festival, the partying, everything. I had the wildest nights I've ever had in that city and by that point it was all really taking its toll. So my attitude going in was very "Ka, I love you, but Jesus fucking Christ." Until then I thought it was impossible to feel disappointed that I had Cirque tickets. But I achieved it. Like that's how rough it was lol
That feeling lifted like a fog the minute the music started. I was so exhausted and out of it that I got an almost totally fresh perspective on a show I've seen now six times: it was just happening before my eyes and I was along for the ride. The boat rowed in and I was immediately transported. I forgot how much I missed this show, and watching each character go by as the stage rotated honestly felt like seeing old friends after years apart. And in a way that's exactly what happened! Watching the Chief Archer's Daughter put on her makeup so slowly and gently, the Firefly Boy sprinkling a handful of petals, the Jester eating his grapes, all of it felt as warm and welcoming as a long delayed embrace.
I'll be quick about acts for the most part: Pageant has some updated choreography that was very fun, Icarian games killed it, Storm isn't quite as fun to watch up close as it is from further back, the turtle scene was shorter and tighter (YAAAY), Pursuit was exact as tense and exciting as you could dream, batons remains perfect, idk why I can't care about that wheel of death act but I can't, and Battle was fine.
But listen!!! Kerren McKeeman as the Twin Sister is! A! Revelation! She's a phenomenal performer and utterly shines in the role. The straps act has some updates to highlight her strengths, and at one point she based the Firefly Boy in a lift and I lost my goddamn mind. Their chemistry together is unmatched, probably the best I've seen for this act. At the end she kisses him fully on the lips. Girl just goes for it. I wanted to cheer. I'll reiterate that I wanted to cheer, I who has spent thousands and thousands of words writing out the Firefly Boy entirely to make room for an impossible romance in goddamn clown fanfiction. Amazing act by amazing performers.
Other details of note: Forest has new bugs! The potato bug is BACK and badder than ever. Firefly Boy pets it like it's the family dog or something. Adorable. The snake was out tonight for some reasons, but there was a giant dragonfly-like one instead that I'd never seen before. There was also a green scorpion-ish thing that I don't think is new new but I don't recall from other viewings. The Counselor had new eyebrows - thicker and more sculpted. Both Firefly Boy and CAD had new, more extravagant costumes for the curtain call. Love Dance and Firefly Both have updated arrangements that I'm not sure I like yet: both give a more theatrical, sparkling impression but might not fit as well with the rest of the show's style. Def didn't hate either one. And did they turn up the volume on the seat speakers? Because holy shit were we rocking. The band killed it all night. The power of this show’s music cannot be overstated.
Okay, character details! Ie the most interesting part to me by a mile:
We had Tricia Woo as the Twin Sister and I completely adored her. She was so energetic and expressive and her chemistry with Peng was adorable. Specific shout out to her raw emotion as the ship sinks. She calls out the nanny's name over and over in this desperate scream, and never has that act had the impact on me that it did tonight. It made The Deep so much more powerful.
TS is visibly afraid of the Counselor's Son when he and his pops crash the function. In fact most everyone was, which was new and interesting to me. CAD isn't just perplexed by his pursuit of her, she's actively nervous of it and him. She turns from him in the Den, she startles when he touches her, and she cowers at his finale reappearance. It was a little chilling - you can’t help but wonder what he has done to get such a reputation.
Jason Biltz delivered yet another excellent turn as CS but it lacked the clarity I've seen in other performances. Tonight the character seemed to favor the path of least resistance and and tbh comes across as a master gaslighter: on multiple occasions he puts his hands up defensively as if asking "why are you so upset?" when he has clearly done something out of line, and he hunches his shoulders as though trying to appear smaller. He does appear to court CAD for 90% political reasons, but come Love Dance he looks truly heartbroken. And then later he doesn’t seem to give a remote shit that she just watched her father die right before her eyes, nor is he at all bothered by the way she's held with a literal knife to her throat. And if he’s always looking for an easy way out, why does he still protest the attack on the Imperialists at the beginning? What's the truth, Rensai, you goddamn snake??
Despite somewhat hazy motivations, Jason plays this bastard as ruthlessly, brutally passionate. It's honestly remarkable. His pride at his every entrance, the deliberate dramatics of his firepowder presentation, his restless and energetic pacing during the wheel of death’s construction, all of it makes him look like the real powder keg about to explode. And when that's exactly what happens, you can't help but feel like you should have seen it coming. I stand by my claim that almost every other singular character in this show could be written out except him: he is essential to the narrative and theme.
The first archer to try to present CAD with a gift was a WOMAN. It was something new, some weapon or something I don't know the name of. Kind of a weighted chain that she whipped around like water meteors. Regardless: BI CAD???? I lost it.
If anyone ever asks you to describe non-sexual human intimacy, show them Shadowplay. It is just desperately tender. The Court Jester tends to the Twin Brother's hand with such delicacy - he removes the bandage, of course, but then has TB hold his palms up so the jester can smooth them with his own. He passes the bandage gently over them, and the gesture is miniscule but it feels like something out of a broader practice. A way to prep TB for the shadow puppets to come while also guiding him away from the tragedy of what they just escaped and into this deliberate moment of peace and rest.
My hasty post-show notes say "TS and FB FUCK but TB and CAD are taking it slow :)" and I'm still kind of laughing about it. There's a distinct difference in the way the twins approach each of their new relationships. TS and Firefly Boy are magnetic and give the immediate impression that they can't keep their hands off each other. Meanwhile TB and CAD are very reserved - more whispers in ears, blushes, and hesitation to hold hands. It's an adorable contrast.
Noriko continues to reign supreme. She gave the most adorable, startled little sound when TB kissed her. 
Peng for president. He’s the best. He’s the best. He. 
And to cap it all off, I swear that theater was 80-90% full. Better than I’ve ever ever seen it. I was thrilled for the artists to get the recognition they deserve in a space so massive. I hope they felt the energy because what they gave to us that night was utterly electric.
All in all a wholly epic weekend. And O got to be my 50th! See ya at 100, CdS. Feeling very lucky, grateful, and verrrry tired. Back in LV in January for Mystere and hopefully LOVE. 💛💚
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I posted 1,408 times in 2022
391 posts created (28%)
1,017 posts reblogged (72%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@jacquesthepigeon
@critical-thinking-is-mandatory
@hella-marshmella
@blueberry-macaron
@emberwritesinsight
I tagged 780 of my posts in 2022
Only 45% of my posts had no tags
#asks - 251 posts
#anonymous - 228 posts
#ml salt - 218 posts
#adrien salt - 131 posts
#ml writers salt - 115 posts
#ml creators salt - 79 posts
#ml fandom salt - 55 posts
#ml - 49 posts
#not ml - 48 posts
#marinette - 26 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#and if i went around pretending that say. fucking felix is a misunderstood uwu angel baby darling that would be taking away every single th
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Makes you wonder how Lila's even so likeable when all she does is brag about all her "achievments" and throws pity parties for herself for all the struggles she's had to overcome. Irl a person like her would be f*cking exhausting, and that's regardless of whether they would even be lying or not about their amazing life.
irl, people like that are some of the most despised people I've ever come across. I've had the immense displeasure of knowing several through my life and holy shit. the novelty wears off very, very quickly. especially when the person who makes everything about themself and their problems and their achievements and me me me all. the. time. never does anything for anyone else.
Lila never does anything beyond "wah help me or you're a bad person" and that does not ingratiate a lot of people to you. she makes everyone else carry her stuff, she doesn't hang out at group events, she doesn't invite anyone to her home, she doesn't organise outings, or take notes for anyone else, she doesn't even seem the type to wish anyone a happy birthday nevermind give them a card or present or cake! tack on the lying, which any ordinary 13/14 year old kid would be happy enough to demand proof for, and you have a classmate who is: unhelpful, selfish, self centered, annoying, and untrustworthy. like??
that's not even getting into the fact that, from the class' pov, Lila is flaunting her wealth and connections and making promises that are never delivered upon. regardless of whether or not she's lying that's pretty annoying and disappointing.
like, i get we're supposed to think Lila is some kind of genius manipulator but like?? she's no Azula, and even then, Azula was betrayed by the people closest to her so... even someone who has power and real manipulative skill and the capacity to follow through on her threats still could not remain ingratiated to her only friends forever.
and Lila? she doesn't have any power, or anyway to follow through with her threats other than with middle school bullying. her time in the spotlight is running out, and when it does she is gonna be the most hated kid in school.
252 notes - Posted April 30, 2022
#4
Speaking of time travel powers, here’s a few things that rabbits are commonly associated with to draw power from, instead of doing an alice in wonderland rip off.
Good luck. Lucky rabbit’s foot anyone? The Rabbit could activate a power where the recipient has unbelievable good luck for a short period.
Fertility/rebirth/spring time. Rebirth could easily work to give the Rabbit a healing power or some kind of restoration. Healing people from Akuma influence perhaps?
Being really, really fast. Kinda self-explanatory.
Alertness/watchfulness. Possibly a foil to the Fox, an ability to see through tricks and illusions.
This is literally like. From maybe 10 minutes of research and thought. And already I’ve got 4 powers and none of them are time travel. Time travel is the number one thing you want to avoid if you don’t want plot holes in your story. But yeah, sure, let’s just make the Rabbit have a power off of the white rabbit’s obsession with being late, sure. Soooooo clever. 🙄
278 notes - Posted March 14, 2022
#3
A continuation of this post :)
Ladybug wasn't usually this early to patrols, an unfortunate consequence of her busy lifestyle and general scatter brained tendencies. But today, she decided it was vital she was early. Patrol had consumed Marinette's mind all day, the events of last night shadowing her every thought, every action.
She couldn't believe Chat. The- the sheer entitlement of how he felt about her, the way he had treated a civilian who demanded an explanation, who demanded better. She’d taken the matter to Fu and he had been as horrified as she. Marinette had her orders, and though she resented the idea, she’d offered a compromise. Marinette would talk to Chat, and if he atoned, the punishment would be reduced. She could only hope Chat would admit his mistake, and come forth as his real self, as honest and kind and valiant. Chat’s actions last night left her reeling in disbelief.
But more than that she couldn't believe herself. To act out her frustration and anger on Chat it was so unlike her! And maybe she had overreacted a tiny bit... Chat worked really hard after all! He was always there when Ladybug needed saving, or when she needed a shoulder to cry on...or when... Ladybug dragged her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them. She couldn't really think of anything else Chat Noir did...but that didn't matter! He was her friend and her partner, it was out of line of her to confront him like that, no matter how she was feeling.
But the way he spoke to a civilian last night...a hero should know better. Ladybug shook herself. It wasn't productive to dwell on such thoughts. Chat Noir was her partner, maybe Marinette really was just acting like a brat.
"My Lady!" At the call Ladybug flipped her yoyo open and checked the time. Chat Noir was an entire hour early to patrol. She sighed. She envied how much spare time he had.
"Hello Kitty," Ladybug said. She unfolded her knees and leaned back, looking at Chat over her shoulder. "Are you always this early to patrol?"
Chat Noir sat lightly beside Ladybug, so close they were almost touching. She inched to the side. He followed.
"Of course M'lady! I'd never miss a moment of your company." Chat leaned in, eyelids lowered in a gaze Ladybug assumed was meant to be debonair. "And why does my dearest lady sit alone so early on this fine evening? Hoping to have some extra...Chat Noir time, perhaps?"
"I was hoping to speak to you, actually," Ladybug said. Chat perked up at that, his ears pricked and his tail curled into a heart. The sight would've been funny if she hadn't seen the way he spoke to her civilian self last night.
"Finally ready to confess your love? Let's do it with a kiss." Chat Noir puckered his lips, closed his eyes and leaned in so close Ladybug could see each individual eyelash, blond and pale against the black of his mask.
"Actually I wanted to talk to you about last night." Chat drew back, blinking open startled eyes. His lips were still puckered for a kiss. With the wide, gaping eyes and puckered lips, Ladybug found her partner looking rather more like a fish than a cat.
He recovered quick enough, adopting a toothy grin, running a hand through his hair like some kind of cartoon bad boy. "Oh really? Were you that impressed by my performance? Wait until you see how I perform on a date." Chat finished his declaration with a wink that was beginning to feel smarmy and Ladybug was fighting the urge to call it quits and go home.
"I mean, Chat, that I saw you and that civilian girl talking last night. After we fought Gigantitan," Ladybug said. She glanced at Chat through the corner of her eye, noting to herself the way his spine stiffened and his smile was bordering on pained looking.
"Oh, you know how fans are M'lady," he gave a flippant wave of his hand. "She declared her love to me and I tried, so hard to let her down gently, but she just reacted like a crazy person. Accusing me of all sorts of heinous lies, y'know."
This? This was Chat Noirs explanation? He just...just lied! Right to her face! He. Lied. Ladybug gripped her yoyo so tight that if it weren't magic, it surely would have shattered. She worked her jaw as Chat continued rambling, lying about the conversation as easy as breathing. God, and she thought Lila was bad.
"And, well, when that crazy girl started accusing me of being selfish when just moments before she was throwing herself at me, begging to be my girlfriend, well..." Chat Noir grinned and shrugged. "You have to tell those freaks exactly where to shove it, am I right?"
Ladybug's eye twitched. That. Was. It. Marinette hadn't been too hard on Chat Noir last night, not in the slightest! No, no Marinette was going to give Chat a piece of her mind. And Marinette thought Fu was being too hard on Chat! Well, Chat Noir won’t know what’s hit him by the time Ladybug is through with him.
But first.
"Why are you lying to me?" Chat went deathly silent. Ladybug had only murmured the question, but it still seemed to have the impact of an asteroid.
"Bugaboo, you know I would never lie to you! We're partners, would I ever, ever betray your trust by lying to you?" Chat pressed a hand to his chest and directed sad, teary eyes at her. Ladybug’s stomach twisted. She knew this was a bad idea, but it was too late to back down now.
"I was there, Chat, I heard every last word. And that girl never 'threw herself' at you. You're lying. You know I hate liars." Chat Noir lowered Ladybug with a look of condescending concern. It was familiar in a way that made her skin crawl, she had seen that same, patronising look time and time again but where?
Chat Noir tutted and flicked a stone off the ledge with a careless flair. "M'lady I think your ears are failing you, you misheard. That did happen. Maybe you should get your hearing checked. I know a great-"
"And there you go again!" Ladybug shouted. She stood, threw herself to her feet really. Her body trembled with every ounce of unbridled rage she was feeling. "You're still lying to me!" Chat Noir’s ears pinned back and he gaped up at her like she’d struck him.
Chat Noir stood slowly, eyes on Ladybug, and clamped his hands tight on her shoulders.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he murmured, voice welling sincerely. He gave Ladybug a gentle shake. “M’Lady, you’re acting like a crazy person, I have no idea what you’re talking about. You must be seeing and hearing things.”
Ladybug gaped at Chat Noir, turning his words over in her brain. She knew what happened last night, she was there. She slapped Chat Noir. Papa had held her while she cried, she stood there while Chat Noir told her, told a civilian that they should have stayed dead. He was just treating her like an idiot now.
Ladybug wrenched herself out of Chat Noir’s grip, lowering her hardest glare at his teary eyes.
“Chat Noir.” She took a deep, shaking breath to calm her nerves. “You have let your feelings for me take priority over your duty to the civilians of Paris. Your treatment of the Dupain-Cheng girl last night was abhorrent, no hero should ever tell a civilian that they should have been left to die. And above all else, you have the nerve to lie about it to my face.” Ladybug held her open palm out to Chat Noir. “The Guardian of the Miraculous agrees with me. You are no longer fit to hold a Miraculous, and are hereby ordered to surrender the ring of the Black Cat.”
@naruwitch @natedogx15
294 notes - Posted February 25, 2022
#2
It's bizarre that the deuteragonist (Adrien) has basically been replaced by his love rival (Luka), his ex-girlfriend (Kagami), and his ""antagonist"" (Felix). Like, they make the parallel better than the original. His "calming" attitude, his social "awkwardness," and his "justified" anger have all been done better as separate characters.
Literally!! The creators are doing absolutely everything they can to make Adrien the bestest person ever except actually. Write a character who is kind, awkward and brimming with righteous anger who happens to be called Adrien Agreste.
Felix has all the connections with Hawk Moth and Mayura, plus the initiative to investigate them 2 episodes into his career.
Kagami is the awkward rich kid fencing prodigy struggling to make friends.
Luka is the genuinely sweet and charming love interest with just a hint of mystery.
Everything we're told Adrien is, these three show us without fanfare.
306 notes - Posted January 21, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Adrien never puts any effort into his relationships with people. He's always handed things or having people do things for him. You have no idea how much I want the others to realize this and rethink their friendships with Adrien, but I know it's never gonna happen.
you said it, bestie. like, all relationships are a two-way street but Adrien's written in such a way that like, people adore him for doing fuck-all. like.
in Origins Nino becomes Adrien's bff because...............they sit next to each other.
Chloe chases after Adrien because he's rich and a model. neither of which are like. even within Adrien's control.
Marinette is obsessed with Adrien because he gave her a speech and an umbrella like, one time.
Kagami???? WHY does Kagami like Adrien? he is like wet bread. no backbone, no true drive or passion. because they're fencing partners??? that alone is not a solid basis for friendship, nevermind dating.
the rest of the class? they like Adrien because....he's Adrien.
like i'll give Gabriel and Emeilie a pass for their weird infatuation because that's kinda what parents are meant to be like (kinda). they're meant to love their kid no matter what (again Gabriel, kinda).
but friends? like Adrien's just floating through life all la-di-dah until he needs to cry about something and everyone rushes to comfort him because....The Script Said So. come on. what a weak-ass friend Adrien is.
when did Adrien ever plan Nino's birthday? or help with a party or a picnic? hell, he straight up ditched his friends in Glaciator because Maribug didn't want to go on a date. what kind of weak-sauce, limp-spined, lily-livered chump friend is that?
anyway Adrien ought to be a better friend or everyone else ought to move on to better pastures. but that will never happen because aDrIKinS iS PeRfECt
386 notes - Posted August 10, 2022
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trenchcoatsbi · 9 months
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ON A DIFFERENT NOTE I WAS JUST POKING AROUND AND SAW THAT MOD PHIL LISTENS TO BUG HUNTER? man us philza kins all share a musical braincell i guess because holy fuck i don’t think i’ve ever run into anyone else who listens to his stuff! i’m gonna have to politely ask you to hand over more recommendations for music because you’ve got TASTE. -🌾🪶
ARNJS i am staring at you soo hard I know like two other bug hunter fans and theyre fans because I commandeered the music bot and insisted on playing all of his songs during a music vc night... Anyway we are slaying so hard rn. us phils just have the best music taste 😎
OKAY anyway this took forever cause I tried to narrow down my list but ajfanfdk I listen to a lot of stuff. god there's so much music i enjoy that I could go on forever about random songs and stuff so uh yeah... I banished my bs to under a cut for the sake of not making a post that is annoying to scroll past. enjoy whatevr i did -za
Mickey Darling!! RAHGjsA a lot of his songs are like about breakups but they're all very upbeat and fun despite the lyrics. Honestly its so funny to me I literally found him because of a fanfic that used lyrics from say that you miss me (which like god yeah the author got me... it was extremely right for the character they used it for i know cause they're literally me). you were perfect & im so sorry is vry good and also I've had somewhere else stuck in my head since it came out...
Jukebox the Ghost. okay okay they just never miss! i adore like everything they've made but uhmmm I think the cheers album is my favorite still right now like dont get me wrong i love everything they've made but ajldnf how can I not like cheers. Brass Band and I Got A Girl are so good. I will say uh shout out to It's No Secret cause its inspired several pieces of self indulgent ship art I've made.
Streetlight Manifesto... The Hands that Thieve got me out of one of my weirdest music eras. I mean it's ska punk it's not too far from the uh protest songs I was listening too, but ska was more palatable than most of the shit that I was really into for a bit. Anyway listen to If Only For Memories too its good.
LyreLeTemps! god okay so i like electroswing a lot and ashutjak just fuck man Time Train is extremely mecore when it comes to a specific kin. A lot of the music i listen to gets shifted around depending to my shifts lol. Also listen to Nanana it's a close second for my favorite song by them other than Time Train
Groundbreaking, god i've listened to this guy for so long... I think all his music is great but the Anarchy I & II are my little guys I listen to them all the time still. They practically got me through quarantine... Uhm if I had to recommend a specific songs instead of just saying listen to the Anarchy Albums maybe VIP and Beautiful people. Those two were my favorites but jsut to get somthing from anarchy listed too uhm anarchy or media star
The Wrecks god another band I listened to a lot during quarantine... Fvck Somebody and Panic Vertigo are my #1s forever but I really like their new music too. Unrequited and Sonder came out at such a good time for me, unfortunately that means I have like four writings wips that have titles that are just the lyrics of those songs...
Air Traffic Controller is another band that made quarantine bearable for me god why have the last three just been quarantine time killers. Anyway I listen to Creature of the Night a lot because I love being thematic with my music when I pull all nighters. Uhhhh other than that Anybody got a light has quickly become one of my favorites from them too
Atarashii Gakko!! This is the only non english band I'm actively a fan of rn. My friends are like big into like Kpop and I'm more of a cpop or jpop guy but like even then I almost never find a band and get super invested. but raghg the choreography and vocals just everything really scratches my brain. I really like watching their dance practices idk its just so fascinating to me. uhm okay uh Fantastico and NAINAINAI yeah those i recommend them :]
AND because I cant help myself here's some things I wanted to talk about but uh 90% of it would just be me keyboard slamming cause I cannot articulate my enjoyment of them
Circa Waves: Your Ghost & Golden Days
Good Kid: Mimi's Delivery Service
Saint Motel: Sweet Talk & Slow Dance
Rare Americans: Walking N Talkin
Burn the Ballroom: Calm Down & Crazy
Bear Ghost: Haunt the Cartoon Heart & Sirens
Andie Schoen: the prophet (you love me) & loitering
The Happy Fits: In the Lobby & So Alright, Cool, Whatever
Hobo Johnson: Peach Scone & February 15th
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armyhome · 2 years
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Lost In Your Love Story | Yeonjun
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⇢ summary: Hwa Suji is a very skilled makeup artist who works at her best friend's salon, serving major Korean entertainment companies and that includes the artists she is a fan of: Tomorrow x Together! One day when protecting one of the members, she ends up having a car accident that takes her to another universe! The universe of your favorite fanfic called "Winter Song" but the thing is, life is not a strawberry, her new universe got a target on her back, she's the villain and has no idea how survive this cannon.
⇢ pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Hwa Suji.
⇢ autor notes: Dear reader, if you're Yeonjun utt please be careful, because I did crazy things here. See you on next saturday! 
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[01/16] Life is not a strawberry.
"Once upon a time, a beautiful story about a literature student who worked hard to get an internship at university and a handsome music student who was a popular idol was posted on this platform, and we are truly happy to announce that it will be published as an original manhwa!  Winter Song will be in bookstores on 13th September! Stay tuned to new information!"
HOLY MOTHER I'M GONNA DIE HAPPILY EVER AFTER ON 13th SEPTEMBER! I wash my brushes dancing around 'cause my favorite fanfiction is getting published! Dreams can come true, I remember when the first chapter was posted! The writer used to get so excited when I commented how much I love that story! And now she is famous and her story is getting the attention it deserves! And, imagine if it becomes a k-drama in the future, OH MY GOD! Yeonjun needs to be the male leader! It was made for him! 
Thinking of him, there's no one here yet, so let me put my headphones on and listen to his voice. Yeonjun's voice was the best thing, he is just so good, I'm almost done with my brushes and soon I'm gonna do his make-up perfectly. Soobin sends me a picture of his pimple, I have to do his makeup with a different primer and foundation! So the last brushes were washed, I need to prepare all my stuff before they get here. 
"This shit fanfiction is getting too big! Being published? That's a joke!" That was Yeonjun's voice? Please, don't mean Winter Song, I know you're not a big fan of it but don't call my favorite fanfic 'shit' please! "I'm nothing like this character! This writer is using my face to make money, look at this! And your face too, Yuri!" Oh no, she is here today, nothing against her, but that one acts like she's an idol, not a staff, I prefer her on the Winter Song for sure! "If the fans start to doubt, the company is gonna send you the way! I don't wanna lose you!" He says, and my heart drops. I know I'm kinda stupid for that, but he was the closest that I got to be in love with since high school? I'm so stupid, how can I dare be jealous? My curiosity makes me open the door, so my heart crashes at the end of its fall. 
Seeing Yeonjun kissing her felt like a punch on my stomach. I came back to the bathroom, picked up my stuff in silence. If he is happy, I'm happy, that's what being a fan means. How can I be so selfish? I wanna punch myself right in the face for becoming something I've always criticized! I take the opposite way from them when I get out, I'm better than this, she is not that bad if Yeonjun is in love with her! She probably has a bright side, for sure! Walking fast to the dressing room, I curse myself for letting me get too close to the boys, I knew it would be a problem, I'm the most delusional person on this planet! Unnie gave me a warning in the beginning when I was first appointed to them! Why didn't I listen to her? If I did right now I wouldn't be like this! 
"Hey, noona, where were you?" Asks Beomgyu I show him my clean brushes without saying a word, I was a bit worried to start to cry like the stupid person that I was, I put on my masc and start to prepare the table, I feel someone tap my arm, so I look up and Soobin was holding a finger heart I smile, he was so precious, they all are. 
"Something happens noona?" I start to put a prime on my fingers, his skin was already done, so I start to work on his makeup.
"Remember my one-sided love? Found a person he likes, I'm happy for him, and a little bit sad for myself… that make sense?" One more time, I'm being too open, when I'm gonna learn to shut my mouth? "Don't worry, I'm gonna be fine, let me take care of this pimple so she can go in peace" I pick the special pomade that I made, cause me and Soobin get a similar type of skin, with cotton I put right in the pimple "This will work like magic, why you are stressed? What happens?"
"I think I have one side love too..." Oh my god, he was so cute.
"Oh my god, you are growing!" I blew the pomade so she dries faster, and his face gets scarlet "Tell me everything about her, him or they… Just tell me everything!" He stays quiet when I start to put a foundation on his face.
"She's older!" Start Hueningkai, making Soobin looks like pepper, the information makes me widen my eyes.
"Will you see her today?" Maybe was another idol, a sunbae, he agreed "So I'm gonna give my best to you look even more handsome!" Soobin smiles like a child, how can a human being so cute?
So Yeonjun get into the room followed Yuri, I give my best to didn't show any expression and focused on Soobin's makeup. The other boys start playing together was nice to see, I could forget the scene that I see early, we laughed together and I should know that was enough. The fact they shared a feel secret with and trust me is more than enough! 
"Guys a little change in the schedule! Suji, we gonna need you and the team with us the whole day! After this stage we gonna have a shooting in an open space, cause tomorrow will rain!" Yuri says looking at her on phone I just agree I pick up my phone and send a message to my boss.
"Okay, I just gonna need Soya e Hee Sung with me, Jisoo I trust to you my schedule, and the boss gonna send a team for you" Jisoo looks scared at me "Don't worry, you gonna be great I'm sure! I'm just gonna finished Yeonjun makeup, so Soya and Heesung go eat something, 'cause when they make the stage recording, we'll be packing." I say looking at Yuri, she writes fast on her phone, probably speaking to her boss too.
"Okay, Yeonjun after finished you go change your clouts, I'm going with the boys now, please don't be late!" Yeonjun smiles at her and feels another slap on my face, they leave the room, and was just me and him.  
Being so close to Yeonjun was difficult since the first day, I get too nervous even when he jokes around, I concentrated on the image of him kissing Yuri to not put me in a delusional place again. So his hand goes to my face, I step back.
"Are you okay noona? Why are you crying?" If there is a god, please take me right now, WHY I'M CRYING FOR HIM IN FRONT OF HIS EYES??? "There is something that you need? I'll try my best to help, promise!" I dried the tears on my face, thankfully is just two of us right now.
"Is nothing Junyah, I just forgot about blinking when I'm focused!" He smiles, so he believes, that was close.
"Noona, you truly love your job right? I never see someone like you that even washed your brushes instead send someone else, and always look for every single detail in all our makeup" I smile blurring a little beat the highlighter to blend better in his skin.
"It's how I learn to express myself, some people maybe think is superficial but when I do my makeup or other person's makeup I feel like an artist! Make people feel good about themself the gratitude in their eyes, makes me happy" I finished the makeup and turn his chair to the mirror, he looks stunning, and the way he looked at me made my broken heart beat again "Let's go, you can't be late!"
Yeonjun gets up and leaves the room, I start to pick all makeups and brushes, creams, oh my, I hate unforeseen, I need to be prepared, breathe Suji, breathe! So a strange loud noise out of the room stops my anxiety complex, I run to see what's is happen and I strange guy punches the wall right next to Yeonjun's head, he stays frozen, so a pick the first thing next to me, THE trash. 
"It should be me Yeonjun, and you know it" He repeats, and again like a crazy person.
"HEY! WHERE IS THE SECURITY? STAY AWAY FROM HIM!" They both look surprised with me there, and the strange step back so I throw the garbage can on him "RUN YEONJUN!"
Instead of running in the direction of the stage, Yeonjun runs to me hold my hand pulling me to run with him, we run together until we found one of their bodyguards, my favorite of them, I call him Parallel 38, cause nothing can cross him. 
"That person again?" He asks Yeonjun, that confirms with his look "Okay, go join the other kids, I'm gonna look for him"
"Please, put someone to look at her, she protects me, so he sees her face" Parallel 38 agrees.
"Sorry for leaving you alone, I'm gonna have a serious conversation with the team!" Yeonjun looks at me. 
"Are you okay noona?" 
"I'm okay, are you okay?" I say, so worried, that person was following him? For how long?
"I'm okay, I'm sorry for putting you in this mess, I'll explain later, please don't tell anyone okay?" I just agree, so he goes, I'll murder that crazy dude with my hands, Yeonjun looks so afraid! 
"I'll with you back to the dressing room miss Suji" 
We go in silence, I try to remember every detail of his face, why that guy was attacking Yeonjun? Parallel 38 observes me when I clean my stuff and put everything in the bag, when Sooya e Hee Sung comeback they help with the last things. Parallel 38 let me know that I go in his car with Yeonjun and the rest will go in another car. He stays with me every second, we decide to wait in the car, I send the pictures of the concept to Sooya so she can be prepared for the shooting, but I couldn't think about this right now. I try to relax before he shows up, I don't wanna make him more nervous than I sew early, so I fell asleep. 
Far away I hear the click of a camera I open my eyes and see Yeonjun smile like a child, the car has already left the tv station, we are on a road.
"Sorry noona, but the guys need to see this!" He shows me a picture of me sleeping with an open mouth.
"Don't you dare!" But before a get angry with this I remember why we're alone in the same car "Please explain to me, who is that guy?" Yeonjun opens his mouth to say something but we get interrupted, another car crash with ours, Parallel 38 tries to keep control, but was too fast, and the car goes out the road, overturn one, two, three times, I look at Yeonjun, his eyes were closed, my heart runs fast than ever when I see blood in his face. 
"Jun..." I try to say, I hold his hand, but the car turns one more time, I hit my head and everything became dark. 
Winter Song
I'm standing in a dark place, where is this, where are Yeonjun and Parallel 38? I walk into the place without knowing where exactly to go, until I see Yeonjun, in a hospital bed, I run in his direction, he was so hurt, all this equipment connected with his body, my throat is dry, I wanna cry, so Yeonjun holds my hand "Save me, please" he whispers, I feel my head hit again and one more time darkness swallows me.
The alarm clock was louder than ever, I look at my cellphone screen, and was 7 am, I'm dead! My unnie will kill me, I didn't end my thought she opens the door.
"Get out of this bed Suji! You don't gonna waste one more day of your life in there! Yeojun is a dead man" Her word hurt me, he was dead? The accident memories come back, no, that's not possible he is dead, so I would be too.
"He is not dead, that is impossible unnie!" She looks at my face and the anger in her face disappears.
"Is a metaphor, he is dead to us! If he chooses to believe in that girl he knew just a feel months ago, he can go! I don't wanna hear about him anymore! And you have to get over him, first love is something beautiful, but you are growing up enough to go for your second love" I look at her, what Ji Eun was talking about "Get out of this bed and let's go to university, we're late already!"
"Unnie, we give up at the university last year in the first semester, we open a beauty salon, and start to work for big k-pop companies..." Ji Eun blinks slowly, she doesn't know what I'm talking about, so unnie puts her hand on my forehead.
"Is not fever, Suji, my best friend, my family by choosing, you can not go insane because of one boy! Let's go drink a coffee and walk, being in this bed make no good to you and scape the first class will not kill us"
I just let her guide me, our house still the same, my clothes, okay there are more of them and maybe a little bit more expensive, did I collapse and forgot to feel years after the car accident? I change my clouts, put on my makeup, oh lord now I got so many more options, oh my, I got the whole Fenty beauty collection! My fairy Joo Kyung I know you protect me in the dark times always, and all the glory to Rihanna, I'm gonna do the best makeup ever, I look so sick right now.  
Ji Eun tells me everything about our lives now, and I'm having the longest dream of my life, or I'm going insane, but who cares, I have expansive makeup on my face, I'll be the prettiest crazy in this country! And if this was a dream, I'll enjoy it! It was so sad to give up university because I have no money at the time, and when I get the money I have no time, well right now I have both! I do Ji Eun's makeup too, we look so pretty! The prettiest girls in the chemical engineering department by the way! For some reason, that sounds so familiar. 
We go in Ji Eun's car to university, she probably sells her kidneys for that car! We park and everybody looks at us, unnie dress her angry face. "Don't care about this gossip people, I know you didn't do it! I believe in you!" 
"Unnie, what do these people think I did?" That moment I knew it, I was a canceled person on the campus.
"Last week, you were not okay because of exams week, and your stomach wasn't holding anything, you walk with a bucket around the whole campus, but one time you run to the bathroom to vomited there, and miss sunshine Yuri shows up!" Oh, Yuri was here too? "She swore that you throw water on her when she was using the toilet, but I know you, I know how that week was harsh on you, even if you were that jealous about their relationship was fiscally impossible..."I sew this in someplace in my memories, this will drive me insane!!
"I would never do such a thing! If Yeonjun is happy, I'm too, that's it!" I know I was sad about them being together but at this point? Never! Someone knocks on the window, I look up, it was Taehyun? I open the door and get out of the car. "You're not mad with me?"
"Unpf! Like this was possible noona, I already told you, I don't trust in people who played 100% being good! Even if you did, I'm on your side, you have the right and make mistakes! Don't let their judgments put you down, let's go, I'll accompany my ladies to the classroom!" He offers his arms to us, I like that reality so much, too much. 
Ji Eun and Taehyun laugh the whole way until the classroom, I tried to remember the memories they were talking about, but my head was stuck two years behind when Taehyun found time to go to university? 
"Hwa Suji!" I remember that voice! I turned back and was Soobin, he was like sunshine in this messy reality, even he doesn't seem that happy to see me. Taehyun put himself in front of me "Get out Taehyun"
"No hyung, you get off, Ji Eun has too much work to convince Suji noona to come to the university you'll not ruin this, if you are worried about you princess, go to her!" My heart broke knowing that Soobin truly believes that I was able to do such a thing, I look at him, maybe this way he sees the truth in my eyes, and that she was the anxiety pimple on his chin. I pick my pomade, yes seems I never forgot how to do this, I walk to him, and he froze when I applied in his face.
"I'll not fall for this Suji..." He says.
"I believe in you, but I believe that you know me better than this! Okay, it's done! Let's go unnie! And Taehyun, since when did you stop using a formal language with Ji Eun?" They got scarlet with my question, they are so adorable oh my, I need to be their cupid!  
When you enter the classroom Yeonjun was there, I remember Ji Eun mentioning that he was doing music engineer, when he saw me Yeonjun stands up. 
"We need to talk!" He says and holds my arm and pull me with him, and this remember me when we run off the crazy guy, we stop in the staircase "I need understand why you are being like this Suji, you are my best friend since my childhood, you're not this kind of person, why you are mean with Yuri?" I take a deep breath, he was so okay, that makes me believe that everything, every memory in my head is an illusion, he considers two years ago his childhood? Maybe his rookies years he meant. 
"If you know me, you know I didn't do this" I wanna ask about the stalker, but it was capable he thinks it was my fault too at this moment "I'm happy for you, that's what a fa...friend means! The happiness of another person is your happiness! So it was just this, I'm going Yeonjun I lose classes enough because of this!" I turn around ready to go but, Yeonjun puts his hand on the wall stopping me, his face gets so closed that my hands start to sweat.
"Promise me, that you will not do something stupid Suji, promise that I'll not have to lose you too!" I sigh.
"I promise, you are free to live happily ever after, with her, there is no villain here oh my, so much drama!" I pass under his arm, and back to the hall I see some students putting a poster on the walls, "WINTER SONG FESTIVAL", my stomach seems to turn around, I look for the trash and when I found everything that I eat with Ji Eun this morning goes out.
There is no way of this being true, It's impossible, the bathroom, the bucket, Yuri, oh my, I'm not locked in a fanfiction, that's insane, did I die in that accident?? The pain in my stomach is almost unbearable, I think I'm gonna pass out! 
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[ While this, in our universe...]
DAVID: Now the last news about the car accident of the k-pop superstar Choi Yeojun, he was in the car going to a photoshoot when another car crash and make the driver lose direction control, he was with a makeup artist Hwa Suji, a bright new name on this field, according to the information received they were found holding hands and are making a lot of HOT TEA!
DANNY: I think is weird how work some people's mindset, like we saw how the car was found, almost completely destroyed, and people are worried about holding hands? That seems crazy to me!
[02/16] Love is a Disease.
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diaryofomellas · 1 year
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I posted 1,129 times in 2022
145 posts created (13%)
984 posts reblogged (87%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@late-to-the-fandom
@brisaveloz
@mysdrym
@thereeness
@dandelionandkrindle
I tagged 355 of my posts in 2022
#world of warcraft - 36 posts
#sylvanas windrunner - 16 posts
#omellas bloodforged - 10 posts
#nathanos blightcaller - 6 posts
#fanfic - 5 posts
#holy shit - 4 posts
#anduin wrynn - 4 posts
#headcanon - 4 posts
#sylvanas - 4 posts
#yes - 4 posts
Longest Tag: 120 characters
#also using tumblr language outside of tumblr and being met with awkward silence when others don't understand our culture
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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I got my wings so I went looking for my besties.
25 notes - Posted March 27, 2022
#4
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So... I asked Patty Mattson and Christie Golden to handwrite my favourite quote from Sylvanas. Now I have Patty on the left wrist and Christie on the right providing free therapy for life. The arrows were Patty’s idea actually, and I’m kinda mad I didn’t think about it myself xD
27 notes - Posted November 20, 2022
#3
@fakedoomslayer I think I posted this snippet from The Truth Untold before but I'm posting again just for you. ❤️ (And also because it's one of my favourites things I've ever written)
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See the full post
32 notes - Posted March 15, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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672 notes - Posted March 9, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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marisolinspades · 1 year
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I posted 14,624 times in 2022
124 posts created (1%)
14,500 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@marisolinspades
@cipheramnesia
@glittzysunflowermaze
@zerobotic
@lastvalyrian
I tagged 987 of my posts in 2022
#the good thing about humans is we do this - 336 posts
#we make beautiful art - 128 posts
#and - 94 posts
#we write beautiful poetry - 69 posts
#we document their adorable moments - 57 posts
#we love our cats - 37 posts
#we really love each other - 27 posts
#we are so very silly - 27 posts
#knitting - 19 posts
#we take pictures of beautiful moments - 18 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#i’m not going to conduct a dark ceremony to bring forth the antichrist and raise him myself to ensure his destruction takes the path i want
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I love when someone will post a song lyric on Facebook and people will clamor to the comments to write the next line, and the next, and the next, and it turns into a huge group sing along despite everyone being in different parts of the country.
Humans just like to vibe together and sing together and cooperate in the creation of community, even if that community is a dozen or so strangers who all happen to have some connection to one person who all now have the same song stuck in their heads.
33 notes - Posted April 27, 2022
#4
I now have space to knit without the sound of it hurting the ears of my fiancé who is autistic and has noise sensitivity, and I’ve spent the last few weekends merrily making my way through a bulky, lumpy, homespun scarf. It’s not the prettiest thing out there, but it’s soft and warm and cozy. And I made it! How cool is that?!
It isn’t done yet, I’m going to need another skein or two. I started it years ago, and now that I’m finishing it I have no idea what kind of yarn I’m even using, since the package has long since been lost. I’ve no hope of finding a matching skein, but it’s a nice dark blue, so I’ll do the next section in purple, and the section after that in pink, and make it a bi-pride scarf. I’ve ordered a bunch of yarn to play with so I can make more fun things.I made a Ravelry account so I can get my hands on some fun patterns, and now I keep thinking about all the cool things I can create.
This prompted me to dig out the needle case I inherited from my grandmother. She used to knit and crochet all the time, but when her arthritis got too bad she set it all aside. I started learning to knit back in college and she was so happy she gave the case to me, and it’s been sitting in a closet just waiting for us to have a big enough place I can knit without torturing her. I opened it up for the first time in nearly a decade and you guys, it’s a treasure trove.
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I probably have all the tools I’ll ever need to make any of the things I want to. Some of the crochet hooks are really tiny. I’m super excited to have this piece of her history, and to be learning how to use these tools.
50 notes - Posted March 1, 2022
#3
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It still needs to be blocked, but holy shit I made a thing!
55 notes - Posted April 13, 2022
#2
It looks like a manta ray at this stage.
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It should become a shawl if I avoid catastrophe.
71 notes - Posted March 26, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Every time a TERF sends me anon hate, a trans woman gets her titties.
89 notes - Posted March 18, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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