as much wind you can gather in your lungs,
i want you to scream my name one last time –
i want my last reminder of being home to be
visceral, loud, bittersweet, long before the
memory evaporates into an uncaring sky that
has weathered much worse and stuff more
mundane. when the heart can no longer
reconcile the shift in gravity, you’ll find
me, deep in the meadows, perched upon
our favourite cliff, on a cloudless night
where the moon is full –
even if my heart isn’t.
How much homesickness is too much homesickness?
She started crying
After I told her,
“Whatever you want,”
It was her third time asking
And the third time I repeated the response
I thought I was friendly enough
And I enjoyed having her around
But I was younger then and it took awhile
For me to understand
She wanted me to want her around
I get it now
I have for years
There’s something so different about someone
Who wants you around
Than someone who just enjoys your company
Maybe I’ll find a home again
Where people ask me to stay
And I want nothing more
Than to do just that
and nothing makes me sadder than the departure gate
you were my only home and now i’m homesick
I’m listening through Homesick since it’s been a bit. I may sound bias here since they’re my favorite band in the world, but I really do think this is the most iconic record in our ‘scene’. I know way too many people who adore and grew up with this album, and it’s definitely given me more memories than I can count. I will forever love this band with my whole ass heart, these records were there for me when no one else was. This one was no exception, plus the artwork is still the absolute best. P.S. NJ Legion Iced Tea is still the BEST song.
There are nights when the fan is the only noise there is to hear because you’ve mastered the art of crying silently.
In those nights, the pillow is too wet to even lay your head on, and the dark, lonely room never helps because no matter how suffocating it is to be in a spaceless room, there wasn’t any warmth to feel. Your stomach growls in hunger but you ate nothing that you feel so full.
These are the nights when I get to type entries like this, just to check out if someone somewhere is feeling as messed up under the same moon?
But sometimes, I wonder, if someone, from many blue moons ago felt as lonely and as lifeless as I am now. And if there was, I’d like to know their name. I’d like to know if chocolate cakes made them happy, or how she liked the smell of books.
Perhaps I’d like to know if I’m sharing this pain with them –– or if, by any chance, their heart beat so fast it hurts? If we were feeling the same pain in the same exact place in our bodies?
I’d like to know how they got through these nights, or if they ever did at all.
I haven’t seen my family since before Christmas because of COVID-19 and today I finally booked flights to go home for a week. I’m so excited and so beyond home sick. I can’t wait to see my family.
☾i miss home so much but not enough to wanna go back ☽
I haven’t been home for a while so my uncle started sending me pictures of my cat to cheer me up.
Here is Princeton. I miss my old boy.
Time bruises our backbones
With promises of a better tomorrow,
And medallions are worn weary around broken necks.
The rain falls like glass-shattered crystals,
And I am homesick for a home I have never been to.
How am I 21 and I miss my mama so much? Haven’t seen you in three months, come cuddle me.
Could really fucking go for some duck loaf right now