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fuutaprotectionsquad · 3 months

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Yknow I feel like I should have a main post where I share my Milgram opinions/verdicts (thought of this bc i was writing my sister's opinion on the milgram characters). So I'll go character by character.

Will anyone read this? I don't know but its here

Haruka: I relate to him a bit (shitty mother, intrusive homicidal thoughts, neurodivergence). I def feel bad for him but hes still really guilty in my mind. I just think the whole killing for attention thing is a really dangerous mindset you can't just get out of, especially if you're being told you're not in the wrong. And it definitely seems like he doesn't actually feel bad for the girl he killed, just feels bad because people are mad at him for it. Idk. But I enjoy his dynamic with Muu a lot, even tho its toxic i just think its really interesting. But I wish him the best and he deserves a hug. His songs are mid tho (/hj i like them)

Yuno: I love her personality and I think shes so fun, but I honestly don't think about her a lot compared to the others. But I love her and specifically enjoy her dynamics with (obv mostly in fan content) Kazui, Mahiru and Fuuta. Her and Fuuta are such a good platonic ship (romantic is fun too). Innocent vote, obv. I like her songs, but Tear Drop moreso than Umbilical.

Fuuta: Oh my god I wonder what I think of him. In all seriousness he's a major hyperfixation of mine at like every given moment. I adore him and i think he deserves better and to be innocent. Like he feels so guilty for what he did and he didn't know any better, everyone around him was encouraging his behavior and praising him for it. But then it got too far and all his friends abandoned him and blamed him like. Poor fuuta :( and he's like 100% right when he says him and es are exactly the same. On another note, major fan of 0309 (romantically, but either way works), and also love his dynamic with Haruka, Yuno, Mahiru, Amane and Es. His songs are both in my top three (backdraft being #1)

Muu: Tied for my fav character(? Fuuta might beat her idk) I love her personality and vibe and everything just ❤️❤️ queen shit. And her queen bee design is gorgeous. Typically my favs are men but shes one of the first women ive hyperfixated on this much. Again, love her dynamic with Haruka, not from a like. healthy relationships could make the characters better standpoint, but from a story perspective its interesting. But yeah guilty. As for her songs, INMF is my #2 and i like After Pain

Shidou: Honestly I used to be kinda indifferent about him and just found him to be boring but then I rewatched his voice dramas and read some fics and I like him more now. I feel really bad for him bc he went through a really shitty situation which he felt he had the power to change and was stuck in a shitty moral dilemma bc of it. And in the end he did shitty things to save those he loved and it didn't even matter. He feels so guilty and doesn't deserve it. Innocent <3. Also romantic 0507 ftw (0506 is cool too). Him and Amane are silly too. As for his songs i like them, but they're not my fav

Mahiru: i like her, but im not too like. invested in her ig. But i feel bad for her :( she just wants to feel love and like. clearly she did something wrong but she didn't know she was. She never intended to hurt anyone. So innocent. Unless we find out she like. did something really fucking bad then maybe guilty. But in I Love You it implies it was a mutual toxicity so it probably wasn't something super terrible? But anyway. I love her with like all the characters cuz shes just so fun to see interact w others, but specifically with Yuno, Fuuta, Shidou, Amane and Mikoto.

Kazui: Hes so fun i love him. Like all he wants is to be honest and be himself but he feels pressured to lie and then finally he tells the truth and his wife fucking kills herself like- jeez- poor guy. Like following the gay theory, i get why she mightve done it (imagine being told the romance you built your entire life around for like 20 years was all a lie, and that your husband never actually loved you and just pretended to and every time you kissed or something he was just pretending like. that sucks poor hinako) but its so awful that he had to go thru that. But anyway innocent, kazui come out we accept you. And stan 0507. Song wise cat is easily #4 but. half is ok ig

Amane: Yknow i love amane but I also hate her and i think part of that might be the fandom? idk. I feel sorry for her bc she grew up in such a shitty situation but also i think shes beyond the point where we can uninstill those ideologies. Like shes 12, not 5. And amane says it herself that she has as much of a free will as everyone else and that her decision to kill/stay in this environment should be valued. Not that i think she should remain in this abusive situation, but she's not just some innocent kid whose being manipulated, she knows what she's doing. Hence, guilty. I don't think either vote will change her or anything so im voting with my honest opinion. As for dynamics, i love seeing her interact with all the other prisoners, but especially Shidou and Fuuta.

Mikoto: I love mikoto a lot but im so on the fence about his verdict. Ive been voting him innocent but theres still a part of me thats like. debating it. Bc he shouldn't have to be punished for John's actions, and it sucks that that's the situation hes in, but its that or more murders are left to occur. The main reason i say innocent is under the idea that John could go dormant or just stop fronting as much if we reduce mikoto's stress (like he says will happen i think). But hes so complex and fun i love mikoto. Specifically i love romantic 0309 but also his dynamic w the smoking group and mahiru. Also i love his songs.

Kotoko: I love her but also fuck her for hurting fuuta (and mahiru too but mainly fuuta). She annoys me bc she was so quick to almost murder several people based on a preliminary verdict that was made using little information. Like she knew this wasn't a concrete verdict, but attacked them anyway. I get her ideology of "kill people who evade justice to protect the weak" but only when they've actually done bad things (ie. the guy kidnapping the little girl). But when she doesn't know what they did and knows the person accusing them doesn't either???? Like bruh. But i like her character shes fun. I like seeing how she interacts with es and everyone she attacked. And songs, harrow is okay and i really like deep cover.

Whew im done.

#this has been in my drafts for a hot bit so im posting it #milgram #haruka sakurai #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #muu kusunoki #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #kazui mukuhara #amane momose #mikoto kayano #kotoko yuzuriha

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stardustizuku · 7 months

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sorry for using your inbox as a confessional im too scared to post in a tag where everyone knows each other. anyway the thing i think is most interesting about wilfried is how sylvester is characterized by his treatment of his failson. bc like the obvious answer after the ivory tower incident and at like eight other points in the story was to demote wilfried to an archnoble or to put him in the temple. bonifatius should have served as sylvester's very obvious example that like. an archducal family member can thrive and be better off if they're not forced into archducal competition beyond doing the training just in case everyone else dies. and ferdinand should have shown him that sometimes being put in the temple or otherwise demoted is better than being a target in noble society. especially once rozemyne shows up and hes repeatedly shown the ways the temple is improving and the importance of it to the duchy's functioning. and yet even in his conversation with bonifatius in i think book 5 hes so against it he would rather disown rozemyne. which you could interpret as him thinking that even if he understands all that that noble society will continue to target wilfried but it also implies that on some level sylvester did and maybe still does think that bonifatius and ferdinand have reached "bad ends", despite caring deeply for them and intellectually understanding that they are better off not being the aub. bc it's not like wilfried is completely incompetent, he's just terrible at politics. he's a skilled warrior and when he's not being coddled he's fully capable of buckling down and getting work done. but even though sylvester has been told exactly that by several people, after sylvester finally gives up on having wilfried be the unambiguous heir he's still very clearly trying to leave the path open for him when wilfried has obviously and repeatedly been shown to not have a talent or even really a desire for the position outside of not wanting to be a target and charlotte has been here the whole time. honestly sylvester's basically only done harm by reinforcing that him losing the seat WOULD be a bad thing instead of trying to improve conditions for non-candidate archducal family members if he's so worried about the fate of failsons. like idk i just think its interesting especially in light of the most recent chapter that sylvester certainly cares for rozemyne and doesn't want her to be forced into a position she doesn't want, but, like, he is still a noble, it's just that rozemyne is frequently sheltered from that fact because his interests and hers so frequently overlap. sylvester being a good guy who is still very much a noble is actually my favorite thing about him, way too often in isekai stories you get a prankster noble whose carelessness is played off as cute or funny even when it would have extremely real consequences, so having sylvester be a dude who clearly means well but is in no way immune from reinforcing systemic injustice even in his own family is very interesting. although i get why myne doesn't really clash with him over it, i do sometimes wish they kept the somewhat adversarial relationship they had in early aob and i hope that charlotte gets to conflict with sylvester more

Hi! Thank you for sharing! I was a bit busy and didn't notice the ask, but you make a great point.

Sylvester is a very well meaning guy, who sometimes (in an effort to avoid his children suffering) can be blindsided and ignore the truth.

In his case, regarding Rozemyne and Wilfred, he ignores them both in regards to what they want/need, in favor to what he believes they need.

Yes, he would rather Wilfred be the next aub and sorta of forces the position on him. But he also forces the idea of Rozemyne as his second hand, then wife, on her. He's genuinely trying to help, but he gets blinded by his own past. For a very, very long time he saw himself in Wilfred, and Ferdinand in Rozemyne.

But, even when Wilfred explicitly said he did not want it - the reason why Sylvester didn't accept him relinquishing the position was actually Rozemyne herself.

I can assume it was a huge blow, since granting Wilfred his wish would mean making Rozemyne (a commoner) into an Aub and he couldn't bring himself to do that, for various reasons. He knows Ferdinand would not allow it, it would cause problems with Florencia, and more importantly: Rozemyne herself would hate it. Sylvester actually does care for Rozemyne, in the few ways he can allow himself to care.

He knows that Rozemyne wants nothing to do with politics. She wants to make books and hang out in the temple and with commoners. At that point, keeping them together was not to give Wilfred "what he wanted", but to KEEP Rozemyne and give her what she wanted (and what he duchy needed).

Sylvester is truly a unique interesting case, because he's well-meaning, but messes up sometimes. No one can be sure if his actions are 100% correct, or if it was the best option. But nevertheless, he does try to clean up after the messes he causes, and protect his people.

#ascendance of a bookworm #honzuki no gekokujou

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66sharkteeth · 6 months

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I've been rereading City of Blank before it gets censored, and I just wanted to say I love it just as much as I did when I first started reading 3 years ago, if not more so now that I can see plot elements being set up and foreshadowing, etc. It made me sad to see you on twitter/X talking about how S1 isn't good. I can understand being hard on your own work, I'm like that, but why S1 in particular? I really like it! I could make notes as I go through listing out each and every thing I love in every chapter and I'd be doing it for ages. I've read a ton of web comics before and after finding CoB and yet it remains my favorite even still, including S1. Ignore my question if you want, I don't wanna bother you, but please at least accept the compliments because you deserve it and more, thank you for sharing your story 💜

Hmm, to be clear, it's not like I think season 1 is a steaming pile of crap or anything... I just think it's...nothing special and not particularly good.

I think it's biggest issue is it's pacing. S1 feels like...2 or 3 episodes, all stretched out into 25 episodes. A big part of this is because I was told they wanted s1 to end on Jericho's reveal, and back then, they didn't want first-time creators like myself committing to 50+ ep seasons they weren't sure they could keep up with. And honestly, not a ton happened between the first ep and Jericho's reveal. In hind sight, there was a lot more I could have done. I could have had Rex bond with Des and Lyss more, and just...given Lyss more screen time in general. I know so many people dropped the series because Lyss is introduced and when boy meets girl in media, they assume there's gonna be SOME romance there...but then Lyss just kinda fucks off and is asleep for literally 2/3rds of s1, losing that entire audience. Even if...Lyss didn't end up being the love interest, I wish I kept her around more to at least give people the false hope that she would be so I could have just maintained that huge part of WT's audience LMAO.

But instead, half of s1 was spent on that night on the town with Rex and Des and fighting Claude. These are things that crossed my mind when writing it but... I don't know how else to put it other than back then I just had the mindset of "eh, good enough." And on that note, I think the story just wasn't nearly as personal to me back then. I remember literally telling people like "It's nothing deep. The blanks don't represent anything. Sometimes people just wanna tell a fun story." Which...to be clear, 100% valid to people who wanna tell stories like that! But uh... by the end of s2, that stopped being the case. And this story became very personal to me. It became really impossible for blanks and their struggles to not represent things deeply personal to me. Around end of s2 is when this story started to be a lot more than "just a fun story w/ no deeper meaning" and when I really really started to pour my heart into it, and I LIKE to think it shows, because s3 is hands down where I'm most confident in my writing, compared to s1, when it was just trying to be a safe shonen adventure.

Lastly, going back to s1, I guess I kind of underestimated just how much this would end up meaning to me, and how having a weak-ish s1 would impact me 3 years later in s4. Back then I wasn't thinking about how the audience I get back in s1 is only gonna be a fraction of the audience you maintain in s4. I didn't realize there would be literal discussions on Reddit of comics people dropped and CoB being one of them bc of a lackluster s1. I wasn't thinking about how I would eventually be showing this to agents and publishers and that they might not look past it beyond s1 as just very average, mid content.

I was really just kinda in the mindset of "This is just Canvas 2, and if people like it, they like it!!" I wasn't thinking about how not putting 100% into s1 was going to potentially cost me thousands of readers, dollars, and even potential opportunities.

So TLDR, I don't think s1 is the worst thing ever, but a lack of heart, ambition, certain conditions, and just experience made it very lackluster in my opinion. I wish I could put a huge disclaimer on the series "IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE"

#city of blank #rambles

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satrs · 9 months

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Can’t feel my face - bllk x fem!Reader N°13

Tags; 2.7k words. Possesive Reo ig (see it as good or bad idk). angst again bc bro, I live for it.

It's been four months since the day you moved into your new home.

With the help of some of the guys you managed to furnish your new home very quickly and since the time you moved in your life has been like a dream. The amount of money you earned for your work at Blue lock was enough to feed a whole army, money being the least of your problems currently. And your private life? You haven't spoken to Sae since the last time the both of you spoke, and honestly, you thought it was better that way. But that didn't mean that your love life was laid down on the low, oh no-

"Pretty, are you coming?" Your head turned towards the bathroom door where Reo was leaned against, his eyes widening at the sight of your outfit. It was daring but not too revealing, leaving room for imagination. "Yes, one sec'." You tried to put on your earring as you heard the purple haired man approach you from the back, his hands sneaking around your waist as he leaned his head into your neck, adoring it with soft kisses, causing you to giggle. "My Gorgeous girl. Who's the lucky guy tonight?"

Yes, that's right. Reo. After we were gone for some weeks he really made it up to you, fancy dates, gifts, amazing sex - anything you could ask for. Even though everything of these things would scream relationship and the both of you spend a lot of time together - the both of you agreed that it isn't. Or to be specific, you did.

He was bitter about it at first, but grown to tolerate it. He got to spend time with you by those rules too, so he could manage to swallow some jealousy.

"I wish it would be you, but-" He groaned at your words, releasing his hold around your waist as reality kicked in. "Butttt- I need to work, and it's your free day. Actually, don't tell me who you'll go out with." you chuckle at his words, patting him on the shoulder after you managed to put your expensive jewelry in, heading out.

"Close the door after you, yeah?", you whistled at the man in joy, leaving him alone in your apartment. "Y/N, wait-", he shook his head at you in disbelief when he heard the door slam, quick to go after you, curiosity getting the better of him.

His heart filled itself with jealousy, hoping to convince you to stay at home and wait for him. He knew the way he was thinking wasn't right but, who could blame him? Anyone who would get their fingers on such a rare treasure like you would hold it tight in his arms and not even think about sharing it with anyone.

【☆】★【☆】

"Barou. You're supposed to bring in money for me tonight, what do you think you're doing here? Do you want me to cut the contract?" The man's lips twitched up into a grin, as he held open the door for you to step in. "I already did the most important fights, Shidou is doing the other one for me. As long as money is flooding in, you can't say shit."

He had to contain his laugh at Reo's furious expression, walking off to the driver's side, carefree. Reo's purple orbs switched to you, walking up to the open window. "Y/N. Why don't you wait some time, and then we can have some fun together, what do you say? I'm done with work in, like, two hours."

A frown accompanied your face. "You want me to wait two whole hours, Reo? Look, I know that you tend to be jealous, but this is a bit too much." Anger bubbled up inside of him, letting out a huff in disbelief. "Jealous? Nonono, Y/N. I don't think you understand what I'm saying. This - what we have, it's not just some play date-"

"It is. I told you so. Many times. It's better we cut this off, so you can get that possessiveness checked. We are not in a relationship. And to be honest, if that's how you would act if we were, then I'm really not in a mood to even consider it."

You knew your words came out harsh by just one look at Reo's face, but you had enough of it. Reo was a heartfelt and passionate person, but the more time you spend with him, the more controlling and possessive he got. You really didn't want to deal with his shit right now, when your single life was so good.

"Are you done? I'm not going to get my time cut with you again, princess." Reo's eyes flicked between you and the man at the wheel, teeth grinding. He's calling you princess now? "I need you, Y/N. And you sure as hell need me. I am the one who got you to where you are now, no one else. I can also take all of it away from you. I think you forgot who I am."

There was a pause. "Are you threatening me, Reo?" Before Barou could chime in, Reo's brows furrowed, lifting his hand to keep Barou quiet. "Y/N, get out of the car." You looked at him in disbelief while Barou turned his head to the side at the thick fog of tension. "What?"

"If you don't get out of this car now and wait for me upstairs like a good little housewife till I'm back, you'll see what will happen with the perfect life you're living right now."

You've never seen him so sickly obsessive as now, holding yourself from discussing the matter with him any further, attention turning to Barou once he leaned forward to get a good look at Reo, looking at him in a threatening manner. "You done?"

"From now on, you're nothing more than my Boss. I am not your 'pretty little housewife', nor are you my husband. Don't show yourself in front of me again if it got nothing to do with work." His words fell on deaf ears as you rolled up the window, attention now on Barou, motioning him to start driving. You didn't have to tell him twice as he turned on the engine, driving backward only to turn around to flash the perplexed man a shit-eating grin, driving off into the night.

"Fuck!" Reo's loud voice rang into the night, a loud sound echoing through the city as he fumbled with his hair in frustration. Feet stomping onto the concrete as he walked to his car, desperate to get away from here, away from anything related to you- or he might become crazy on the spot.

He didn't feel an ounce of remorse for his harsh threat, because he was right. He got you the job, the nice salary, the apartment, and many of your jewelry and dresses you got also from him. So why won't you just be his alone? Maybe he was wrong, maybe you were like the others - get the money and head off.

【☆】★【☆】

You and Barou enjoyed the silence and peace, putting the previous event at the back of your mind. "But why did you dress up so nice, princess?"

You crossed your arms over your chest, tits spilling over in the process, causing the man's eyes to shift between your eyes and chest. "You don't like it?" He was quick to wave your thought off. "No, no, I do. I'm just wondering, since we're driving to my place."

You tilted your head to the side, hand touching his shoulder like a feather would, smirk on your face as you leaned in to whisper your words. "I put this dress on for you. For you to rip it off later."

His laugh rang through the car, hand sneaking to your thigh, comfortably resting on it until his phone lit up, shrill ringing echoing. You glanced down, the caller ID said 'Peasant'.

You giggled at that while his hand left your thigh, an annoyed look on his face as he quickly connected the call to his car. "Oh hell nah, man!"

The both of you were a bit startled at the sound of Shidou's loud voice, you biting back a laugh. "Shidou what is it, fucking spit it out. I'm busy." A pity laugh rang from the other line. "I don't give a shit! Why the fuck is that dick Nagi up next now? Huh?!"

Barou let out a small 'oh'. "I forgot. Just do a quick match and then-" "I'm not gonna do shit! You either bring your ass here and do it yourself, or you can get your sorry ass out of blue lock entirely. It's your fucking contract, not mine."

"For fuck's sake, Shidou! I'm busy right now-" "Y/N, ma'. You don't mind dropping by for a sec', right?" You looked over at Barou at that, shrugging and letting him decide. "This is the second fucking time." He mumbled under his breath, turning the car to drive to Blue lock.

【☆】★【☆】

The both of you stepped into the establishment, you're frowning at the sight of your workplace. Yes, you really liked your job, but, you really didn't want to spend your day off there too.

"I'm so sorry." He leaned down to your level, apologizing to you. You played it off, putting a heartfelt smile on your face as you leaned up to steal a quick kiss from him. "Don't be sorry and win that shit for me. I'll give you a treat after if you do."

He grinned at that, quickly heading to the back to get ready. And in almost an instant, a familiar blonde haired came to your view, rushing over to you and lifting you in his arms, spinning you around. "Ryu! Let me down." You chuckled playfully as he placed you back on the ground, a love struck smile on his face. "Missed you. So you're down with the King tonight?" He formed his hand into claws and mimicked a lion by rowing, causing you to burst into a fit of laughter.

"God - you're so cringe. Missed you too." "Of course you did." His hand sneaked around your waist, leading you to the lounge couch. "Someone else missed you too, you know." He motioned his chin to the far end of the room at your confused expression, your eyes following him and stopping at a familiar figure.

Sae.

You scoffed, turning your attention away from him quickly. "Stop it, Ryu'." He held up his hands in defeat. "Me? I didn't do anything. I'm just sayin' what I'm seein'."

You sighed, turning your head away to think of another topic, not in the mood to talk about you and Sae's situation right now. Shidou noticed, looking over to his red haired friend and shooting him a pitiful look. How did he manage to piss you off that bad?

He soon snapped out of his thoughts once bright lights illuminated the middle of the ring, the two fighters emerging from the shadows and stepping into it, cheers and screams coming from the crowd.

"Now, up next - the Treasure of Blue lock against Barou Shoei, the King of the ring! Everyone is burning to see this rematch! Will the King take back his crown, or will he be overthrown again?"

Barou gritted his teeth at that, firmly looking at the announcer. His attention soon turned back to his opponent, who had a shit-eating grin on his face once the whistle blew, announcing the fight to start.

Nagi was the first one to walk up to Barou, which was a surprise to the onlookers. Nagi usually just waits for the opponent to come at him, too lazy to but in any big effort. But this was new.

He quickly swung his fist against Barou, who raised his eyebrow in confusion, barely escaping his fist. "What's up, King?" A laugh escaped the white haired male, warming himself up by jumping from one foot onto the other, swiftly sprinting at Barou again, first landing a painful blow to his hip. "Don't tell me you're done already."

An animalistic grunt erupted from his lung at the man's mocking, a fist briskly catching Nagi's cheek on the way, painting his snow-white skin in a rough crimson, blood splattering from his mouth as he took a step backwards. "Did you sniff something, or why are you so energetic today? Your puppet master told you to go all out, huh?"

A vein was visible on Nagi's forehead, teeth gritting as he went right at barou, two blows landing on his face. "You really think I'll let you have her? Let you take her from me or Reo?" Nagi flashed behind his back, caging him in a headlock as he whispered his next words, only for Barou to hear. "Once I'm done with your ass, I'll fuck her right in the backseat of my car. And after that, we'll celebrate my victory at home, with her moaning my name while I'm banging her till the fucking sun rises."

Anger bubbled up in Barou's face, his arm flying back to get a hold of nagi's hair, tearing himself free from his grasp. "In your fucking dreams. Some fuckers already barged in on me with her two times, and there won't be a third time." He punched Nagi right in his stomach, causing the man to stumble to the end of the ring, holding the edge for stability while Barou walked over to him. "Goodnight, spoiled brat."

Nagi lowered his head, the crowd was in shock and thought it was all over once Barou swung his fist to his face, but to their surprise a small smirk plastered itself on Nagi's lips as he quickly raised to his feet, "Goodnight, King", firm punch to Barou's face causing him to lose balance and fall over, his head spinning and hurting.

The referee appeared soon after, accepting Nagi's victory. Barou Got escorted to the back through the cheers and celebration of Nagi's triumph, your eyes lighting up in worry.

"I'll be right back, ma'. Gonna check up on that big boy real quick." And with that Shidou disappeared, leaving you all by yourself. But what you didn't know was that he didn't leave just to check up on Barou, he also wanted to make room for someone to talk to you.

Your brows furrowed, and you quickly got up from your seat to storm off once Sae stood before you, getting stopped by his light grip on your arm. "Just one minute, please."

You broke free from his grasp, aggressively clicking your tongue, turning around. "Please." A sigh came from you, a firm look on your face as you looked him right in the eye, your heart hurting. "One minute."

He stopped for a second, a relieved sigh leaving his lips, thinking about the right words to tell you. "I've been looking for you everywhere, didn't see you in months. I know you're mad at me, but, avoiding me? I had to get Shidou into this just to stand in front of you. That's too much. It's nothing that we can't talk about-"

"What exactly is there to talk about, Sae? That you want to fuck me again, no hard feelings? Ignoring the shit we've been through?" Only silence came from him. "I know that you feel the same for me, and it frustrates me so much that you don't even have the balls to tell me."

"Don't just stand there and say something." You looked at him expectingly, waiting for the words you so desperately wanted to hear from him. "Y/N. You know I can't. It's hard for me to-" Hard for him to what? Tell his long time best friend, and the person he is in love with, that he loves her? Don't be ridiculous.

"One minute is over." You turned around and walked to the back of the room to look for Barou and Shidou, furiously stomping off and ignoring Sae's calls of your name.

"Couldn't wait for me to come back?" You looked at him in annoyance, walking past him to go over to Barou. "Fuck off."

The sound of your voice caught him off guard, a worried look on his face. "What's wrong, ma'? Did something - look, I just wanted the both of you to talk it out-"

"I said, fuck. Off. I didn't ask you to play therapist. If I say I don't want to talk to him, then you need to get that into your fucking brain. Get out."

Shidou just sighed, not saying another word as he stepped out, not wanting to irritate you any further. Now he fucked up himself.

Barou looked up at you, a lightly embarrassed look on his face, unsure of what to say and too scared he might anger you. But to his surprise, your expression returned to your usual loving one, looking down at his sitting for as you took a towel to wipe off some of the blood running down his lip.

"Don't let it grow to your head. You'll still get your treat. C'mon, let's go to your place."

🏷️; @seiamor

#my work 𓆩⟡𓆪 #kazu s cfmf series*+:｡.｡#blue lock x female reader #blue lock smut

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easy-revenge · 1 year

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we need more on the easy revenge and how himeno plays a role in aki’s development please i love her <3 give me the meta i love u thank u

the way y'all are enabling me to be insufferable on main? i love it. its me and my problematic fave against the world. buckle up.

honestly i cant believe i havent talked about easy revenge on here? its my favorite part from himeno's arc and one of my favs for aki as well. so... essay incoming.

gonna start a bit from further back and make some himeno haters mad right off the bat. himeno, in my humble (and correct) opinion, was the person who knew aki better than anyone else. and it has very little to do with how long they knew each other.

himeno knew. she knew that aki wouldn't make it. she knew since before we, as an audience, started observing this story. she knew the harsh but very realistic truth was that aki ultimately was just some guy, and i say that with the unimaginable love i have for him.

he was never special enough. he was never talented enough, strong enough and against popular belief, never driven enough either to kill the gun devil. he gave away his lifespan, he put his life on the line for others every day. he offered to use his sword to save denji, whom he allegedly despised at the time. that's not the behavior of someone who lives for a singular, selfish purpose.

himeno saw him and knew. she knew that if aki was to stand against the gun devil with a sword in hand, he wouldn't make it out alive. she saw him and knew that there were other things he wanted as well.

she was also selfish about it. she wanted him alive and close to her. she wanted them to leave public safety together. she wanted to cup her hands around the dancing little flame that was his shriveling life span and protect it with her life. but selfishness aside, she knew that ultimately it would be the best case scenario for aki as well.

she was proven right. multiple times. after her death. aki admitted to not looking at himself objectively shortly after he lost her, bc he wouldn't have been able to go on otherwise. aki had always been trapped. he'd been set up to fail by the narrative and by makima all along. and even though that was something himeno couldn't know, she was proven correct again when aki died before even getting to look at the gun devil and have a chance to go down fighting.

himeno never told aki that she didn't believe in him. it wasn't something he'd ever be ready to hear, especially while she was still alive. aki wouldn't be able to live without a goal to strive for. he'd clutched at that pipe dream and held on for dear life for too long, gave up too much on his way there. he didn't know how to exist without a finish line to run towards.

but himeno saw him stick gum to a woman's coat for her. she saw him being happy about it. she saw him taking care of power and denji, even though he was aki hayakawa, the devil hunter who hated devils the most. she saw him stare longingly at makima. she felt his breath against her own face as they shared cigarettes.

it rly isnt that hard to see, if u care enough to look. and himeno cared more than enough. aki thought he wanted revenge. it takes a lot of hate in a man's soul to dedicate his life to that. aki was kind. aki cried for his co-workers' deaths. aki wanted to be the big brother he never got to be. he wanted the family he lost. he wanted to save people from things similar to what he went through.

aki deserved to lead a life where his kindness wouldn't put him at a disadvantage.

and that's what himeno wanted for him. even if it wasn't a life he would live by her side, she wanted him to be fulfilled. with her dying breath, she herself left him with a wish he could make come true.

later she'd leave him with a wish he'd at least try to.

easy revenge. small victories. moments of fulfillment. she probably put that cigarette upside down in the packet she died with, for good luck. it's such an honest wish. such a caring one. maybe something himeno would've lived by too if she didn't find her brief fulfilment in addiction.

it seems utterly pointless now. bc aki did die in the hands of the gun devil. he didn't get to protect denji and power. he didn't get to protect angel either. he failed in every way a man can fail bc he didn't escape the narrative. would never have been able to.

personally though, i dont think he would've gotten as close as he did to taking something back if it wasn't for that cigarette. if it wasn't for the remnants of himeno, the mere essence of her having the power to give it to him before dying alongside ghost.

bc he did get a family. he got to be an older brother again. he gave two months he couldn't really spare to save a devil. took the same devil out to eat with him.

he ASKED to leave the gun devil mission to protect his family. to not lose anyone else the way he lost himeno. to not see another loved one of his go in the little time he had left.

he did everything in his power to honor both of himeno's dying wishes. he cried for her when she died and got his easy revenge. at least as much of it as he could.

to me, himeno was vital to aki's development and storyline, both alive and in death. aki deserved a person to know him. to see him. and himeno wasn't perfect, but she was that for him, even if it took him a bit too long to fully realize.

#oof i probably forgot half the things i wanted to say and rambled a bit too much #but oh well #i have character studies for aki and himeno sitting in my docs and i rummage through them like a raccoon looking for food in the trash fr #i dont know what this is at this point #thank u anon and also im sorry lmao #answered #anon ask #one day ill talk about how i interpret the snowball scene regarding aki's inner child give me like a week #himeno chainsaw man #chainsaw man #himeno #aki hayakawa #manga #anime #chainsaw man ask #easy revenge #aki x himeno #akimeno

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mrsnancywheeler · 8 days

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hiii omg so sorry i haven't been in your inbox! finals have been sweeping me away, but i've been lurking 👁️👁️ ok so i was listening to my playlists and had some #thoughts, so I shall share them to make up for the time i was gone 🤝😎 ----- I Want to Write You a Song - One Direction

I want to lend you my coat One that's as soft as your cheek So when the world is cold You'll have a hiding place you can go I want to lend you my coat Everything I need I get from you Givin' back is all I wanna do (…) I want to write you a song One to make your heart remember me So any time I'm gone You can listen to my voice and sing along I'm such 1D trash 😭😭 But this was on my yearning playlist (lmao) and I was thinking about how Finnick would 1000% write this song for his sweet girl. Like this is such a simp song (respectfully) and we all know Finnick is so in love with her its SICK ----- In Agreement - Lizzy McAlpine I talk to my friends about you Pretty sure they're tired of hearin' it I say "I met a guy, and he treats me real nice" Which is good for a change I talk to my friends about you And I think they agree my exes weren't always great And I don't really buy into fate But you tell me I'm pretty And you don't ask for too much 'Cause you know and I know That promises sometimes can hurt When it's barely begun And I don't want this to fall through Collapsing is what I'm used to But we're all in agreement This is something I should hold onto (another song on my yearning playlist LMAO) but this is very much sweet girl coded #idk bc this is definitely her inner monologue when she first meets Finnick and they start dating 😭😭😭 AND WITH THAT IN MIND, IT MAKES THE LYRIC "'Cause you know and I know that promises sometimes can hurt when it's barely begun, and I don't want this to fall through. Collapsing is what I'm used to" HURTTTT ----- girl i've always been - Olivia Rodrigo *just the entire song*

No like, walk with me here 🚶‍♀️ because this is definitey something that could've been written by Billy's muse HOWEVER, it can be either about Billy OR, OR!! Eddie. Do we see the vision👁️👁️. For Billy, it's written from the pov of a reader who has a lil kick to her, who's done being the doormat and rips into him after he disrespects her and he's all like "???" For Eddie, it's more from the perspective of a reader who is always gonna pick Billy over Eddie. And she told him this many times. Yet, he still pursues her. And yet, he still get's upset that she always picks Billy. His intentions aren't coming from a good place. Like that one blurb you did about Eddie not being a fully good guy, y'know? I'm not good at explaining things so I hope I'm making sense LMAO ----- BACK TO FINNICK AND HIS SWEET GIRL! Block Me Out - Gracie Abrams

Now I only let me down When there's no one else around I've been thinkin' way too loud I wish that I could block me out I wish that I could block me out, out I think I'm burnin' alive, but nobody sees the fire 'Cause when I open my mouth, I seem to be stuck in silence And I thought of leaving tonight, but I couldn't drive this tired Plus, after all of this time, I should be a pretty crier (😭!!) Wish I were heavier now, I'm floating outside my body It's not their fault, but I've found that none of my friends will call me Until I'm left to myself, it's honestly kind of funny How every voice in my head is trying its best to haunt me This is another sweet girl coded song. This could deffo be applied to her after her games and after she's rescued from the Capitol :(((( ----- Finishing off with a bit of Miss Swift, this one part of Delicate reminds me of Finnick's sweet girl in the last couple of chapters: This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me Where she's finally letting Finn back in and allowing herself to be comfortable with him :') Also, some its and bits of Marjorie also remind me of this fic when I think about it from two perspectives:

The autumn chill that wakes me up You loved the amber skies so much Long limbs and frozen swims You'd always go past where our feet could touch And I complained the whole way there The car ride back and up the stairs I should've asked you questions I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me Should've kept every grocery store receipt

If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around I know better But I still feel you all around I know better But you're still around

One being Finnick when he's missing the reader while he's in 13 and she's at the Capitol :( (Sometime I remember that part in Chapter 1 of The River where he smells peaches in his oatmeal and starts breaking breaking down, and I cry 🥲) But the other one being the reader thinking about Conway. Even though he tried to kill her, she still reminisces about the best parts of her friendship and can't help but feel the guilt and regret whenever she does. ------ OK HEHE THOSE ARE MY #THOUGHTS 💆‍♀️ I didn't realize how long it's been since i've been in your inbox and it's been WAY TOO LONG! never again 🫡 I love yapping about these things and I love hearing your thoughts about it!! Also, apologies in advance for when Tortured Poets Department comes out bc it'll be the biggest yap session ever once I make a connection between Finnick/Billy and any of the songs -🦅

AAAAAAA POOKIE I CALLED AND YOU CAME ILY 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺💋💋💋💋

(sorry this took so long to get to I get so easily distracted and there's an to get through)

you're all good pookie, I hope finals are going good and that you're taking care of yourself babes 💕

finnick odair the type of man to make you a mixtape that's kinda messy and done wrong but you don't care because he's so sweet and you can hear him talking and all the songs that make him think of you, he's such a simp, and so adorable

justice for finnick's sweet girl. she really had so much hope, felt so loved, so in love and had it all torn away from her. she's so giddy to be perceived by someone especially finnick odair and just addicted to him

billy's muse getting annoyed with eddie and giving daisy some lyrics about eddie instead this time bc she's so done with the way he's always being so sweet and comforting and lovey dovey and then trying to convince her to leave billy for him even though she's told him from the start she wouldn't, and he makes her feel so selfish, and cold for it. but "now you're on my case, how could I go? you never dreamed I'd be so cold and, then with venom on your tounge you ask me who I have become" honestly in this case I think billy would love the song because it validates that she'll always pick him, that eddie, although he's a nusciance, isn't a real threat and never had been.

and eddie gets annoyed for a good while and is pissy about it, which is painful for muse because she feels like she's got no one when her and billy argue. but eddie comes crawling back trying to win her over again regardless of how clear she's made it that he never stood a fighting chance.

SIDE NOTE: this song also makes me think of conway and sweet girl especially in that moment during their games when he's realizing everything and says she's changed which she denies. "so don't say that I've been acting different, I'm nothing if I'm not consistent" "I got wrapped up in the game again and you woke up in an empty bed, and I can't say I'm a perfect ten, but I am the girl I've always been"

aaaaa finnick's sweet girl, my poor tortured baby. the crying, the destructing when left with her thoughts, the death wishes, the silent cries for help that really aren't that silent, I want to hold her so bad

and for delicate, finnick's anxiety about not knowing what's not enough and too much for his sweet girl, where is the line? "is it cool that I said all that? is it chill that you're in my head? cause I know that it's delicate."

finnick thinking about how he should've done more, should have paid more attention even though he has her memorized, that somehow he should have savored every moment with her because he can't bear being without her. and the guilt because he wishes he'd supported her more, helped her heal more, he lies awake thinking about how he should've convinced her that life was worth living, that she was worth it because he has no idea what's happening to her now.

AND her thinking about conway, how she should've really paid attention to each tiny detail of their life before the games, each smile, joke, laugh, every damn moment before she destroyed it all. before snow destroyed it all. and she does see him everywhere and try not to break down, the beach they used to play on, the alleys they used to hide in to chat endlessly, their favorite field, favorite swimming hole, everything and it just makes her grieve.

I LOVE YOU POOKIE AND MISSED YOU 😭😭❤️❤️

SO REAL AND PLEASE SO I'M SO SO EXCITED FOR THE ALBUM AND I'M ALREADY SEARCHING FOR CONNECTIONS (billy and his muse as my boy only breaks his favorite toys, but daddy I love him, I can fix him (no really I can) I can do it with a broken heart)

#wanda 💋#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair x you #the lakes #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #the river #billy dunne #billy dunne x reader #djats x reader #eddie roundtree #🦅 anon

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inchidentally · 2 months

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babe I do not engage in fandom this way. all of these drivers do different activities at different times and with different people. there's nothing deep or loaded about it.

and I do not feel it's anyone's right to demand or even wish they could control a person's choices or movements - even if you just meant this lightly or as a joke. you can talk about that privately w someone but I would honestly recommend just enjoying seeing the content we get of the guys on the grid being friends and hanging out and not put any expectations on it. you'll be so much happier.

I also rly do not want to attract any type of 'friendship competition' to my blog either sorry <3

I get what you mean overall anon but also literally no one could even make a claim that Lando "prefers" any friend in his life more than another ?? I've seen maxi*l fans pulling up to these pics with WAY more "evidence" of their friendship than dand* so if that's how we're measuring it, not a single Lando rpf ship won today aslfhaljfhljhfa

when ppl try to make these things into competitions they automatically lose because that's not how friendships work! when I do my stupid long posts I'm careful to always include that a)I'm shooting the shit for fun and don't take it seriously and b)that all of Lando's friendships are just like all of our own real life friendships in that they're all unique and offer him different things. there is zero competition.

all Lando himself has told us is that Max F is his best friend and that he has his non-F1 friends and his F1 friends - and that he's naturally closer to some of his non-F1 friends since he's known them all since childhood. like that's how it actually is. that's all he's shared.

and fans trying to do rankings and competitions based on what they see through the only lens they’re allowed and going through wild mood swings every time a photo or video appears to dash or support their ever-adapting conspiracy theories is literally a waste of time and energy.

Lando has friends. almost all the grid all spend time together barring maybe a few of them. seriously, just multiship rpf bc rpf is just for fun or otherwise just enjoy stuff and don't overthink it <3

#inchreplies #wank adjacent #sorry guys I just do not want this stuff brought to me it honestly makes me feel yiiiikes

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beetlebuggy01 · 28 days

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Todays “serious talk” with my mom ended with me being happy about being Autistic and I feel like I should share it with tumblr.

Like I said Today’s “talk of the day” with my mom was about autism because it was on the news and at the end I brought up how I love how I’m autistic, bc it makes me me. Like if I were to go into some magically scenario where I could see ANYTHING and I asked to see me but without autism I feel it’d be a different person entirely! Like if I was me just magically without my chronic illness it’d still be ME. but me without autism I just can’t see it being the same person? Like when it comes to earlier this morning my mom got a letter, and I was TRANSFIXED by the envelope bc the stamp has a shark on it. And when my mom asked what I was doing I I told her excitedly “Mom look! You got a letter and the person who sent you it put a shark letter sticker on it!” And immediately going into the different breeds of hammerhead without prompting. Which I gave the letter to my mom and said I wish I could keep the cool shark stamp! afterwords my mom tore the corner of the envelope with the stamp off and gave it to me. And then me getting excited at the idea of putting the stamp on my water bottle! In which my mom helped me gently peel the stamp off the paper and stick it to my bottle, and even helped me cut a perfect peice of tape to keep it on so it wouldn’t fall off and after getting said shark stamp to stick onto my water bottle I literally got so happy I DANCED AND SANG. That interaction is so inherently me and I can’t imagine having done that if I didn’t have autism. or other stuff like going to museums or aquariums and telling my mom a million fun facts I know about the exhibits! Or getting so happy I cry bc I found a pretty pebble and I can identify the material it is! If I were to imagine myself without autism I honestly can’t see myself doing those things, and those things make me fundamentally me yknow? Like the version of me without autism realistically would probably still be me, but to visualize it in my brain feels like I’d be a greyscale “WRONG” version of myself? Like some kind of dissociative experience or version of Uncanny Valley where I’m looking at my face but it isn’t ME. All my character all the parts that make me, me. Just gone? I just love being autistic honestly, and to be a little narcissistic? it makes me such a wonderful individual and fun and cool and awesome! I have fun facts and knowledge about such fun silly things! And I know so much and thrive on learning more! and without it without autism like I said I can’t imagine being the same person without it! Like getting happy over stamps that have sharks on them and in the end when I get it on my bottle I DANCE and SING from joy! Or being excited to listen to HOURS LONG video essays on topics I like, crying out of joy because I see a cute cat or I find a pretty rock or feather, it’s so inherently me, but also the fact that autism isn’t quantified by like “this is something because of autism this is ‘the real u’” (there is no such thing/way to do such. every part of me is because of autism and also the real me.) So therefore all the things i love that make me, me, are BECAUSE of the autism, and I love the person i am so therefore i love being autistic yknow?? This is really just a psudeo post on how i love being autistic, and how awesome and unique it makes me. I love being autistic <3

Which, I’m going over the ‘good’ parts of autism, I’m not going over the developmental disability part of the developmental disability, the sensory issues, the disconnect between how different neurotypical people think are taught and how I have to be taught and how I think. The things I just DONT and sometimes CANT and never will “get” about the world etc. I’m skipping over all of the genuinely “negative” parts of autism, which I just don’t believe you can label it as bad or good parts? it’s all just autism it isn’t some morality thing where parts of it are morally inherently good and some morally inherently bad. It’s just autism it’s “a force of nature” there is no moral badness to the wolf for killing the deer there is no moral badness to the different traits of autism, it’s just the way it is and you and the people around you (and the world) just have to learn how to live in a world where people are autistic/neurodiverse/disabled and accommodate it, not try to change or “fix” or right it bc it’s wrong yknow? Because it ISNT wrong. There is no good autism or bad autism traits it’s all just autism, at best morally neutral But that’s besides the point. I technically skip over those parts of it before, which the “negatives” are just as much a part of being autistic as the “positives” but I’m still happy to be autistic, because it’s still me, “negative” and “positive” traits alike! And I love me! I love being me I love the way I think and speak and work things out and everything about me! And I love me. Even still with all the parts of autism I love being autistic because autism is every part of me as I am me and I’m PERFECT the way I am. And yes I skip out the “bad” but still. I love being autistic because being autistic means I’m being me <3

Again like I said this is just really a “autism/neurodiverse positivity post/thought” yknow? It’s not really in-depth thought out or some essay I’ve proof read, it’s just me putting how much I’m me and how I love being me on the metaphorical page. And i guess it’s about Being happy with yourself and loving yourself with the “good” and the “bad” parts bc it makes you you and your beautifully you in every way you are <3

#autism #actually autistic #autistic things #autistic adult #autistic experiences #self love #self care #positivity #positive mental attitude #be happy with yourself your perfect #I promise you your perfect #your not wrong or different/neg or weird/neg #your exactly who your supposed to be<3 #autistic community #autistic spectrum

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fortheloveofaussiegrit · 7 months

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as someone who spent years having their stuff ripped and reposted to f1twt, i wish someone would've told me this before i went into a months-long spiral about the issue--but honestly, the healthiest thing to do is stop going on twitter and kindly ask ppl to stop letting u know your stuff is being taken.

i know that's easier said than done and sounds wack but honestly! my mental health was literally the stonks meme after i did this!! sometimes you'll come across your shit on pinterest or google again bc of reposters and it'll Suck™, but don't let this stop you from doing things you enjoy, yknow? at the end of the day, twitter engagement (and tumblr engagement too) doesn't mean anything and is completely forgettable. the important thing is, did you have fun making your gifs? sharing insane moments to talk about with friends? did you reach the audience who matters?

the numbers game on socmed hurts a lot, i know. my friends used to talk me down for hours on end about it. but people on twitter don't give two shits about us, so don't give two shits about them; they're not even worth the second-hand smoke you breathe.

sending hugs <3 -user mwebber

hello hello! thank you for ur message<3

I know that you and a lot of others get their content stolen constantly and ahh to me that is still mind boggling that people think its okay to steal someone else’s content but yeah it is what it is

The thing that got to me this time is the privacy of it all. I know im posting on socials but here is very different to twt/tiktok. I’ve never really been one for numbers like if something does well great and obvs there’s stuff i want to do well, but for the most part a lot of my stuff does not get main tagged because it is for a small group of people and myself!

what really gets me and maybe its just me, but the possibility for interaction with real people on twt. For me that is terrifying and the thought of rl people seeing some of my content?? … like why are we putting a gif of Mark grabbing his dick on twitter where he or someone related to him could see it? I didnt main tag it and i know its inevitable that more people will see it but that really fucked with me when i saw that. it still haunts me that the video of with me breathing and making noises from goodwood made it to twt too 🤣 thats what really got to me this time and ive tried to not let it get to me but it’s scary!!! lol

but yeah ive got big girl responsibilities!! and i probably wont be gone for long but yeah:) sending hugs back:))

#inbox

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daryldamnson · 2 years

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What would Eddie’s kinks be, since you did Steve’s?

soft nsfw warning

Praise kink! Praise kink! Praise kink!!!!

I just think he’d love being told he was doing well he just wants to please you so every time you let him know just how good that feels or how much you love something he’d be pleased as punch and super turned on by it

It leads to some awkward boners when he gets a passing grade on an exam or smth and you’re like “oh my god, good job, I’m so proud of you” and his pavlovian response kicks in and suddenly he’s hard at school and yes ok maybe sometimes he manages to convince you to come help him deal with it in the back of his van bc he’s also a lil bit of an exhibitionist

Ok so I think Eddie can be a bit of a switch depending on what mood he’s in and what mood you’re in but contrary to what seems to be popular belief in the eddie munson tag I think he sways more to the subby side than dom (not disparaging those fics though bc they’re my lifeblood tbh)

I just think he’s so touchstarved and insecure he doesn’t always feel confident about touching you or doing it right but if you take control then he knows that he can just relax and enjoy himself bc you’re in charge and you’ll only do things you want to and he wants to

There’s something about being a sub (in general but let’s say specifically for Eddie also) that just means you’re inherently in charge even when it doesn’t feel like it and he doesn’t have to make any decisions or put any thought into it (or too much thought - mr munson is an overthinker methinks, especially at the start of your relationship when he’s inexperienced) he can just let you decide everything but he always knows that ultimately if he realises he’s not into something right then he can safeword out and it will just end no pushing no hesitations and this sort of juxtaposition just really works for him

Also I think he likes getting choked lmao so that fits

(god i want to wrap my hands around that pretty neck of his)

Do we count anal as a kink? If so then YES. Giving and receiving he’s a pretty versatile guy

And pretty open about it too I think, like I think some guys feel emasculated to admit they’re interested in being on the receiving end but I really think he’s had so long to experiment different things on his own that he comes into your relationship with all these ideas he’s tried by himself but just knows will be so much better with you

He claims he’s into threesomes but I actually think he wouldn’t want to share his body - which is yours and yours only - with someone else

He could watch someone else go down on you for days though idk why he just strikes me as the type

Maybe bc he’s so obsessed with going down on you himself

Also idk if this is just wishful thinking but when he’s feeling dom-like I think he’d be into spitting in your mouth like,,, he just likes the thought that you’d do something so dirty and swallow whatever he gives you including something a lot of people would feel grossed out about but that might just be bc I’ve never had a spit kink until eddie munson so idk maybe that’s just me

Especially if you’re usually a bit grossed out by like sharing a bottle/glass with someone but then you go home and open your mouth on command and happily swallow his spit I just think he’d feel so special

Love bites. All the love bites. You both constantly look like you’ve been in an accident or smth you’re so covered in bruises

He never even tries to cover his up like honestly some days he’ll switch his top to make sure there are at least some on display and if he starts to run out cause they’re all healing and maybe you’d had a busy few days and hadn’t had to chance to see him and add a few more he’ll just turn up at your house pouting like the little needy boy he is until you’ve given him plenty to show off the next day

Also he likes it when you put your fingers in his mouth I have no reasoning I just think he does, oral fixation!eddie ftw

------

there are better writers than me who have gone into much more detail but these are just some of my thoughts

thanks for sending me an ask lovely!

if you want more thoughts send me something! :)

steve version here

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x you #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fic #stranger things headcanons #asks

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quinloki · 3 months

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QUIN! I hope you're feeling better. Hopefully this is a little distraction ramble before I head off to work <3

SO I don't have any particular OTPs anymore (and I picture my OC with everyone at this point sooooo the vibes change depending on who lol) BUT for the longest time my OTP in one piece was Nami/Zoro and it's so funny bc shipping a navigator with someone who is directionally challenged cracks me up. Tbh I tend to pick two faves and ship them, like Kurama/Botan from YYH xD But I don't really ship much anymore but I do love to see all the ship art of everything people are so creative in their ships between canon/canon or canon/oc characters too I love it

ANYWAYS I don't know that I've ever told anyone about my OC (except like, people I used to RP with back in the gaia days) but she was basically assigned to me when I was 13 (so like 20 years ago lmaoooo) and I've just rocked with her since then, making some changes here and there but her general appearance/name has stayed the same. Her personality/age changes a little depending on the world I'm thinking of her in, but she's kind of just like a self insert but cooler/stronger. And for some reason I always think of her as an interpreter in any modern AU even tho I can't speak other languages. I'm not sure if you've read false confessions (the manhwa) but I was shook when I first started reading that bc the main character is exactly what I pictured her like in terms of appearance. Honestly I'd really like to get back into drawing just for her bc I used to draw her all the time and it's been years since then but I'm out of practice and starting up again is harddddd. I did get some anime coloring books and I'm planning on coloring some with her colors maybe xD

anyways here's an old art of her I commissioned back on gaia bc I found it on my computer recently

Hope you get through this Wednesday!!

(ps fuck law, marry marco, kill teach byeeeeeee)

Okay, Nami/Zoro is hilarious for the Never Lost, Never Found kind of vibes xD

(Speaking of Kurama/Bulma I want to share something that I wrote in 2010... ) 😎

Oh gaiaonline, man, talk about some memories. O_O

( 🤝 cooler/stronger self-inserts are awesome OCs)

I love the art \o/ I love EVERYTHING about this ask. I wish I had less snot in me and more brain left, so I could articulate things better >.<

Also you're right for that FMK and I'm not gonna disagree. ❤️

Ship it Good ask game

#quin answers #kazieai #ship it good #oc ship #self self #self insert ships

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leporellian · 1 year

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trying (and failing) to make a modern au of trovatore

one of the most campy operas, now as a modern au, because i find the process of making modern aus like really relaxing for some reason

first off. How Everything Went Down because There's A Lot Going On There

count di luna sr- obviously not a count here, but i'm not giving him a proper first name- is... let's say he's a government representative bc even though i know i've used that in the past, it works. he has two sons, as in canon, but unlike canon they have two separate mothers; the firstborn being the son of his actual wife and then his second son being the result of an affair with an employee or something similar.

the second child is abandoned somehow when he's very little; his birth mother can't really take care of him at all and she has no idea what to do with an infant. she abandons him and leaves him on a sidewalk near one of those flourescent-light dingy bodegas in the middle of the night... and he's found by azucena, the Only employee at said bodega, who is honestly initially none too happy about the situation for a myriad of reasons

Right Before azucena found The Baby, she had both suffered a miscarriage and lost her mother to some dumbass policy in large part funded by senator/representative/whatever diluna. (i don't think there's a way to translate 'threw wrong baby in fire' in a way that makes sense or is just, like, objectively darkly hilarious so we're going with this.) so having to deal with An Entire Infant is... well very emotionally complex. initially she tries to give The Baby up for adoption, figuring she can't be that good of a mother and he isn't hers by blood and someone could take better care of him, but then she realizes he's something of a little misfit in the world like herself and she takes him in.

(not that she doesn't like, Drop all her problems LOL. she's a good mother but she certainly isn't perfect.)

she doesn't learn about manrico's actual parentage until manrico is in his teens and even then it takes a few years for her to Tell Him Proper because she doesn't want to really even acknowledge that her son shares the same DNA as the man who doomed her mother to die. so... complicated stuff happening there LOL!

meanwhile. the other son

senator diluna's elder son, frederick (his close friends, of which he has none, call him freddie. but otherwise he is just frederick. just diluna when he's feeling self-important), is raised primarily by the staff around the diluna household and senator diluna himself. it was one of those McMansion 'they have a nanny hired' situations. frederick's mother left some time after she figured out her husband was having affairs; frederick has not heard from her since.

senator diluna honestly never really... liked frederick. (he loved frederick. but he didn't like him.) frederick was always a rather feeble hyperactive little thing that didn't really have any of the charisma or grace of his dad, and so often just sort of... fucked things up. i imagine senator diluna was physically abusive too, just a right old bastard- but frederick loved him.

there were a couple times where sen. diluna, when Tearing Through frederick for his son's many faults, would make references to 'see this is why i wished you had a brother so one of my sons would be competent'. which always fucked frederick up, so frederick took some solace in at least being the only child. (lol.) he was never really popular with his peers at school; given he was like... the cringy deviantart scenecore wolf-obsessed kid that Very Clearly had some sort of neurodivergence nobody seemed to address.

(well, he did meet leonora in middle school but we'll get to her later.)

sen. diluna died of... something- gestures vaguely- not too long ago, and on his deathbed he started going a bit delirious and talking about 'his other son' which, given the things he had told frederick before, fucked frederick up Hard. so frederick decided that he would at least make his dad proud from beyond the grave... but he has no idea what to do with his life, he doesn't Really believe in his dad's politics beyond a long set of internalized biases, and he has little to show for himself. so. Yeah

manrico is told about his true parentage by azucena not long before sen. diluna dies... and then when he finds out, he thinks 'well i don't like who my dad was but maybe if i go to the funeral i'll get some sense of closure about the dad i never knew.' (manrico does not think about what sort of ramifications this might cause for other people. he's a very kind young man, but he's also..... how you say.... stupid.)

meanwhile, frederick does have TWO friends! two! ...leonora, who he met in middle school and went to Catholic High School with, and ferrando. both of these friendships are objectively sort of hilarious.

he and leonora are like The Two Warrior Cats Wolfpack OC Kids In Middle School so they hung out often even though frederick is three or so years older than she is. they sort of kept being friends in high school but given leonora was raised by like, uber-Christian overprotective parents and sen. diluna's parenting style (when not kicking frederick around like a rubber ball) was 'just tell the kid to go run around outside and hope the coyotes don't get him', they sort of split apart naturally. after they finish high school neither of them initially attend college, leonora bc she wants to go take a couple gap years and figure things out and frederick because.... gesturing

ferrando, meanwhile, initially met frederick bc he interned for sen. diluna when he was in high school and was inexplicably asked multiple times 'hey can you watch my child for the day while i do stuff' which is just really funny because frederick was like 8 and ferrando was like 15 at the time. they only really became friends-friends when they were both adults however. ferrando was also given a pretty hard shake at it by sen. diluna and sort of Thrown Around as an office intern, so he empathizes with frederick's entire situation, but he doesn't entirely understand frederick's eccentricities nor does he understand why frederick is so desperate to Prove Himself. ferrando and frederick are housemates, which ferrando likes for multiple reasons. one, the house is a mcmansion. two, ferrando was born with a birth defect where he was born without a full right hand (he has a vestigial bump there but that's about it) and with a mostly-blind right eye, so he can get frederick to do stuff for him like unscrew jars when frederick isn't being particularly erratic.

so anyway when sen. diluna dies frederick is like 'hey you two you are like my only friends can you come with me to the funeral'. ferrando accepts. leonora also accepts but she thinks the whole situation is weird and awkward because like they knew each other in school but it's been a couple years now and she isn't like THAT close to him but she also doesn't want to say no bc she knows he is sort of desperate.

anyway manrico and leonora meet in community college. she's there after her couple of gap years to figure out what it is she really wants to Do with her life, he's a fresh-out-of-high-school grad there because (despite otherwise being a dumb football jock) he's actually quite fascinated by history. they hit it off really well. i actually think leonora is a lesbian and at firsttt she thinks she's into manrico but then she's like Nah. Nonthreatening Man. and he's cool with it ("oh cool so we both dig chicks!" "...you could put it that way yeah!")

leonora tells manrico about the whole. 'my weird high school friend messaged me asking abt his dad's funeral and i don't really Want to go to it' thing and manrico's like.... oh shit 1) that dead guy is my dad i just found out and 2) clearly that has to be my brother. and he asks to get in contact w/ frederick so he can attend. leonora, not knowing frederick Does Not Know about his younger brother, gives him frederick's email address.... and frederick responds as kindly as one could imagine to 'email claiming to be from a brother that as far as frederick knows does not exist when the concept of having a brother is an extremely sore spot'.

(frederick initially blames leonora for doing it as a prank but then he's like 'NO WAIT I'M SORRY I WASN'T THINKING STRAIGHT'. she's weirded out enough by this to ghost him, which, again, does not have a good impact on frederick's mental psyche either.)

manrico keeps calling frederick his brother every time they go on to meet in person. frederick does not believe him. neither brother is having a good time bc manrico thinks his one 'blood' family member and the older brother he always wished he had despises him, while di luna thinks some stranger is playing a sick joke just to fuck with him for no reason. etc.

where does it go from here? idk it depends on what one wants. in the Canon Compliant Version things come to a head like they usually do and frederick kills manrico in an alley knife fight or something before being told LMAO that IS your brother and you just got rid of your ONLY family left. in the silly this-is-all-for-the-sake-of-it au, things are reconciled with a DNA test and manrico and frederick- while maybe often argumentative and not CLOSE close- make amends. leonora and frederick also get on more equal footing but realize that they can be acquaintances without being... like... friends, so they never really go back to being friends i think but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. ferrando and azucena still hate each other but this time it's honestly kind of funny bc they don't really have anything to do with each other at all. manrico decides to intern at the local history museum only for it to turn out that ferrando works there as an archivist and that's a bruh moment. i think these characters have some funny ass character dynamics in a modern au

#il trovatore #opera tag #rambles #Thoughts; etc

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tiredmamaissy · 1 year

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i had the question about relationships…or situationship, whatever tf this is.

i’ve liked this guy for a few months now (let’s call him pineapple) we both attend the same school, but we have completely different classes. i only get to see him when i’m walking on campus after my last class. anyway, i have a really close friend…i’ll call her coconut; i told coconut i liked pineapple and she encouraged me to talk to him but i’m was too afraid to do so. it took a lot of her convincing me and pushing me to finally muster up the courage to say something to him, and it honestly didn’t go THAT bad. he wasn’t the most enthusiastic person in the world but he was still nice. assuming that i randomly approached him while he was working out would make sense as to why he was a bit caught off guard but yeah! it was a short conversation. i made up an excuse that he looked really fit and i basically asked if he had any tips on growing glutes, n you know…he gave me tips i guess.

that was about 2 weeks ago. we quickly became friends after that short conversation as i s realized him and i shared some friends. (not sure how i didn’t realize it but yeah). he quickly started inviting me to hang out with his friends and it was honestly great. though i’m a naturally timid and lowkey awkward person, i had fun hanging with him. his friends are literally ALL boys but they’re nice guys! besides some of them making uncomfortable sexual jokes about us two, it’s cool ig…(?).

that’s just some background info so i don’t blindly go into the difficult part of our “relationship”. he’s a fuckboy. like big time. i only had to spend a few days with him to realize how easy he was. went to a party WITH him and ended up leaving WITHOUT him because he was too busy getting his dick sucked by some random girl who pulled up mid-party…but i still like him? i genuinely can’t shake the feelings i have for him. he’s been nothing but kind to me. he buys me things, makes me laugh, makes me smile, all of the above….he just sleeps around…with a lot of girls…while also treating me like his girlfriend. or does he treat me like his girlfriend? i dunno if i’m just delusional. his friends refer to me as pineapples “girl” so i kind of assumed we had a little something going. maybe i am reading this wrong.

i don’t know where i’m going with this. i just want to know if you think i’m wasting my time. does he like me? i hope so…i think so…but it doesn’t stop him from having sex with other girls.

im nearing a point of just pinning him down and screaming how i feel at him. i just want him to know how strong my feelings are, how deep they run, how much i care for him, how much i admire him. i dunno. what do you think, issy?

Thank you for sharing this with me (and us), and I wish you could see my face rn 😭 I would like to say that you don’t have to listen to anything I’m about to say ofc, what you decide to do is completely up to you!

I would say talk to him. Sounds cliche but there’s definitely a lot of uncertainty about the relationship. The biggest being - are you in a romantic relationship or not? And if so, what are the boundaries of the relationship? Is it open? Does he value monogamy? Do you? You would need to sit down and ask yourself what your values and expectations are regarding intimate relationships. The fact that he went with you to a party and left without you bc he was with another person is disrespectful to you (to say the least) despite the relationship status.. so I’m sorry that happened to you.

If he’s openly engaging intimately with other people, I’d say it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t see the relationship as something ‘official’. But at the same time, he’s engaging in relationship-like things w/ you. Which is why you’re confused. Mixed signals. Which is so unfair to you. And the only way to clarify things is to sit him down and have a serious conversation with him about.. everything. And from there you’ll be in a better position to not only answer your own questions, but to make a well informed decision about where you want to go from here

Wish you nothing but the best. 💖

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kiefbowl · 1 year

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my very good friend (and former coworker) told me yesterday that she got a big raise and I'm very happy for her but it also makes me insanely jealous and I do feel like sometimes she doesn't have a lot of tact when discussing money. like she could have just told me she got a raise, she didn't have to tell me she's now making six figures. she knows I haven't been working and this job I took is paying less than I have been in like 4 years and my dream big paying job blew up in my face six months ago. and of course I was like wow that's great make sure to spoil yourself on a big vacay this year so she proceeded to tell me she's going to London in october and they already made the plans and "it's honestly not so much in the off season it's $XXXX", which just made me even more jealous bc it feels like I'm still just out of reach of traveling like I've always dreamed since I was a child. and genuinely, I'm very happy for her and excited because she has had to bust her ass to get where she is, and she deserves more money and she deserves a big trip to london, it just reminds me of what a big blunder this year was for my career. I don't regret anything and if I didn't make the decisions I have I wouldn't have my dog now and I wouldn't be doing work in a field that's really cool and promising, but it's still like I can't help but go "oh if I had stayed we might be doing the same work together making this kind of money together" but idk you just have to get over it and accept the choices you make. she also has been totally not self aware when discussing money before in the past, like she saw a gift my bf gave me for christmas a few years ago and was like "WOW, that's a really nice brand, the one you have is like $80" and I was like I really wish you hadn't told me, not because it matters, but because...you know it was a gift, and I didn't know, and as soon as you know you start calculating "okay how much did he spend on me, how much did I spend on him, was it even?" when if you don't share the numbers you and your SO just assume it's a wash. but she doesn't think like that she HAS to quantify the money spent on every thing and sometimes seems unware that some amounts are big amounts to other people. idk, I'm just getting some feelings out. I wish there was a way I could tell her "hey don't talk about money like this with me" without coming off as a huge jag. it's not like it's off the table, it's just the way she talks about it.

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mcalhenwrites · 9 months

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So in preparation for moving, I'm going through all my stuff. I have a donation box, I have stuff I need to mail people (esp if I can get to some WIPs of gifts I have)... It's a bit overwhelming, bc health is so bad that getting everything done is hard. (That's also why I started packing last week. I know I can't do it at once with my low spoons.)

The elephant was made for a friend but I haven't talked to him in a long while (we just fell out of touch) and the poor thing is homeless, and this baby blanket continues to be unsold. I really wish I could place them somewhere and actually make some money (which would help, bc moving + S&H of some of the gifts I want to finish and send). But yeah. (Also, I hate etsy, I only use it to shop, and a lot of the artists I was buying from are begging for people to use their shops from their own websites due to the cut etsy takes these days. I don't have resources or web know-how, so... yeah. Whatever. haha.) Also, I miss my gremlin cat, she fucked up these (seahorse is mine iirc, but she got the cat charm's ear)... I really think the cat charm isn't too bad, maybe it could have a home someday too.

Then there's my collection of shit that I just... have either finished or is nearly finished or just needs a little more work?

I don't remember what stitch I was even USING on that baby blanket. The bunny just needs sewn. (Hate.) Same with the fucking pumpkin, that square bit of orange ombre. XD ACE FLAG TURTLE... That was supposed to be for a friend. Appa??? (I have yet to watch Avatar, meant to and never did, but I THINK that's the name) TEEPO (for myself) (I might be able to salvage it?) Um... Tikki from Miraculous Butterfly bc I wanted to make her, but never fucking finished... A PIG? A BUNNY? DUMPLING? CAT? I don't know. It's a fucking graveyard. This is only a dent in my WIPs, bc I still have Willow, Tessa, Lester (all OCs)... I packed Tessa and Lester away though. They'll wait till after the move. I want Willow done... if I can settle on his design finally LOL I also found a friend who runs a studio who'll take a bit of yarn I don't want off my hands. (Same one that Appa??? is meant for, actually, so maybe I can send it all together???) AND I FOUND IGNIS I WILL FINISH HIM FOR LATT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I WILL NOT LET THAT POOR MAN GO UNFINISHED (plus he can be sent with other stuff) And I know I have a sore spot about people always interacting with my crochet but ignoring my writing especially when I said, "I'm quitting crochet bc of fibro and to focus on my writing" and people reacted badly to the news, as if I wasn't posting shit like this years before I quit:

Yeah. Not sad that's behind me. ;A; Especially when I'm posting stuff like this and still wholly feel this sentiment:

And never had time to do it. And it felt like no one cared, and only recently does it feel like finally people do want my writing. IDK it's painful. It's a mess. I don't know if I can easily go back to crochet. If I do, I have to be so fucking careful to never fall into this pit, and I honestly am anxious about this post bc it's clear I do want to make gifts... but that attracted so many bad characters into my life. The free pattern demands, the free gift demands, some people being one week into trying to be my friend and thinking they're being crafty sending me amigurumi pictures of their favorite characters and going "I wish I had this" COOL GO LEARN TO CROCHET :) And people seeing what I did and never even commenting on my work, just going "pattern?!" or going "how did you do such and such and such" as if I am an instructor with all the free time in the world.

So that's why I only post OCs, and why I have told people not to share their gifts if they do get them... or to just simply not credit me if they post them. Do not leave a trail back to me. XD So yeah, weird history with crochet, but... maybe I'll get some OCs done after I clear stuff out. Focus on myself, bc I never do, despite saying I will. I seldom make myself the things I want to. And it's my time, materials, and spoons! Also, no, if I finish stuff, I'm not posting images unless it is OC related, unless it's a rare time like now that I'm okay with displaying a few projects. Which is nearly never. I have my writing back. I'm still depressed af, but mental health is still tons better bc I stopped guilting myself that my writing time needed to be crochet time. I missed it so bad. Not crying bc I am relieved, nope. :') (I'm crying.)

#mcalhen personal #sorry I'm making so many personal posts today

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