#honestly anywhere in the us makes no sense wth

[dr-jem-nutcase]

MvA: The M Files, take-a-peek, pt. 5

Chapter 6:

Dr C's origin story video was a 20-second one-take recording of his accident, so there's little to no room for any deviation from the movie. Still, may this NOT disappoint

Gotta love alliterations but carnage means "widespread murder". And I don't think this sort of kids' book would be willing to show a bloodbath

I just realized, where are the stairs leading to those massive doors?

A pin-up in the audience, wth? Even the guy to her left is saying the same thing

Genetic teleportation device. Makes sense cuz teleportation was the topic of scientific research & experimentation in both Fly movies but this time the bug mutation is intentional. The video game only talks about the genetic part: recombinant DNA (fact: this term wasn't coined until the 70s, so Dr C was ahead of his time). Thanks, M Files, for a better elaboration beyond just a scientific machine

Is it just me or have the illustrators eventually said, "heck with it! let's just get this done & over with!" and got lazy? Taking a look at the last two chapters/the last post, I'm beginning to wonder

Ok, we get a better visual of Dr C's hairstyle. I put this pic in a grayscale filter and his hair in the movie was definitely darker than this ash brown-blond color (I like to think it's dark brown)

That shirt & tie. So much for that turtleneck. But from what I've gathered, the illustrators for a number of kids' books about the movie were given art references (besides the concept art) from DW months before the movie came out. Dr C's swap from the tie to the turtleneck didn't happen until later in the making of the movie; pretty much all the concept art of him show a shirt & tie. I don't know about you but I wanna see that reference art, every piece of it! As a fan of this glorious franchise, may my prayers be answered!

Whozits. Lol

Srsly? Portable phones, or phones that didn't require a cord, were a thing of dreams in the 60s. And what kind of haircut are you guaranteed? A trim? A buzz cut? And chocolate tastes AWFUL after you brush your teeth, and the average adult doesn't drink hot chocolate on a regular basis. It's coffee, if anything. Or even more realistic in the early 60s: a phone that lights a cigarette. You ever watch mid-century period dramas like Mad Men or Call The Midwife? Every other person smoked back then--anytime, anywhere! But this is a kids' book, again. Smoking/tobacco use is nowadays a reason for something not to be rated G. Istg, my inner historian has been doubled over & screaming in pain since this chapter began! Ok, enough whining

The fat guy's constant *ahem* cracks me up tho

Was this presentations of scientific discoveries or a glorified science fair? Dr C had discovery in mind while the fat guy had fair in mind. Imo, that genetic teleportation device was way more practical than a phone with hygiene & hot chocolate powers, not just super scientific

Unsurprisingly, Doc had his own fanbase on a university campus

Say "they called me crazy but I'll show them" without saying "they called me crazy but I'll show them"

Ok, is it just me or did the color pallet change on this page?

Didn't think that the machine was red. Also, the shirt is now black

"Whoops! I made a mistake!" "Just keep going, Jim. We've got a deadline."

So, he's just going with it without actually testing it on something else? That IS mad

I wish we saw more of his face in this instead of the back of his head

Dr C foretold Neil Armstrong's famous landing-on-the-moon quote

O...m...g. You can tell the illustrators had the hardest (or laziest) time with this chapter. I can barely look

A PhD in dance, mind you. A PhD in anything doesn't make you a faultless god

Oh! And go back inside if you want peace & quiet. And if you must, lock the door

Now both the tie and shirt is a different color

Reclining in the trash can, lol

I'm honestly the university campus hasn't been entirely vacated at this point

Welp, if climate change doesn't work, we know where to go...wait this was the 60s. Never mind

So, you've got a washing machine, an oil barrel, two tires, a traffic cone, maybe a bike chain and...what else?

That day, the middle of September 1962, a distinguishable sound that would haunt a secret prison facility for generations to come was born. This lines up with my h/c that being partially human mentally on top of the trauma of the accident brought on some amount of insanity

That tie must be magic. It changed colors again

Omg! Just call that slipper out for what it is!

"Hey, Jim? What's that shoe thing people wear in the morning?" "I forget. In this panel, it's in a junkyard, so just call it an 'ugh'."

In the movie... "Ooh! An old ugh...I mean, slipper!"

That is one heck of a net for that tiny fishing pole

The antennae sticking out of the net

Ooh, Monger's a major now, but how'd he know about Dr C?

But srsly. Is this chapter perfect? No. But I like it for giving "human" Dr C a bit more time than just a 10-second camera footage of a hottie in a lab coat getting into a giant cylinder. I don't know about anyone else, but it gives me more of a comprehension that Dr C's a human being with a cockroach head and tendencies, not just a strange anthropomorphic bug person

Epilogue

The End! Oh, wait!

So the jetpack has a flamethrower? Hot dang...literally

Link lifting a weight with his tail, lol

Blue-eyed Dr C with a gold tie pulling out...what is that? A bra? The illustrators must hate his guts

Poor private Grime. And what are the monsters supposed to do with potatoes? I think B.O.B. & maybe Insecto are the only ones who would eat potatoes, and Dr C might try potato battery experiments. But why so many? Did Monger stop by local gleaners or a food bank/pantry? Was this a donation of charity? Did he accidentally go over the top with potato crops at his farm? I don't get it! But quoting Samwise Gamgee, "Po-Tay-Toes! Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!" There's probably a thousand and one things you could make with potatoes. Like vodka--oh, wait! Kids' book

Grime must've been like one soldier online who said he could cook minute-rice in 58 seconds. Still, I feel bad for the guy. Do you know how hard peeling potatoes can be on your hands after a while? Ow, ow, owie...

Overall, not a bad book. Disappointing every now and then, but hey! Kids' book. It was kinda expected. The watered-down, non-violent breakaways from the movie had its ups and downs. Like providing some explanation of details of the origin stories in the movie, like why the tomato and dessert topping. Or the idea that luring a monster into a trap is the ultimate way to capture one, MUCH more scaled out and less violent than fighting them until you get the upper hand and force them into submission and/or tranquilizing them, like tranquilizing Susan and then tying her down when she became too drowsy to fight and eventually consciousness in the movie instead of luring her into a trap (like, how would you lure a confused, scared 50-foot bride into a trap when all she can think of was her fiance's safety and why people were wrapping a rope around her arm?). If you thought this book was a disappointment through and through, I read the graphic novelization, and it is a bigger disappointment than anything in this book. More watered down, the illustration was terrible, and some of the rewritten scenes didn't add up with the events of the movie, like wth. I think I threw it out

I hope you enjoyed this take-a-peek series as much as I did. And maybe I can share the second half of the entire book, a story called Brain Pain, a silly entertaining story about the four monsters (BOB, Dr C, Link, & Insecto) in the facility some time before Susan showed up. Maybe :)

Again, none of this belongs to me, as much as I wish it did

#monsters vs aliens #mva #dreamworks #general monger #general w r monger #childrensbooks #dr cockroach #dr cockroach phd #insectosaurus #doctor cockroach #the missing link monsters vs aliens #kidsbooks #bob mva #benzoate ostylezene bicarbonate

[broke-on-books]

Hey where do you guys think Crystal Cove is, my mind had it vaguely near Florida but like any possible location i can think of makes absolutely no sense

#i think its just one of those places where its its own little thing #theres no placing it and no hope trying honestly #absolute mess #i just saw a post that said california which hit me like a truck so i was wondering #like i know east coast makes no sense but it has east coast vibes #honestly anywhere in the us makes no sense wth #they just live in their own little world i guess #yeah they had fuckin cowboys what am i on with that florida crao #*crao #*CRAP #idk idk #scooby doo #sdmi #crystal cove

[lokislittlemagpie]

ask 16 and 32 wuw

((WOAH OMG HI LMAO- I'll add a meme for them too just to show more of their personality-)

Lets start with Benny!

(THIS IS A 20 YEAR TIME SKIP TO THE CURRENT SERIES!!!)

32) (this actually helps with explaining him anyway-) Benny was designed after Brook the skeleton big time- He has darker skin and jade eyes like his mom (an undead demon 1800s girl i made a long while back-) Unlike both parents, he is fully living since he was created by CC! But he does have a veerry sensitive body (can get sick very easily or can very easily die by eating anything too spicy-) small heart issues, and is kinda thin- He is about 6 feet 7 inches and has dark black curly hair that he usually has inna tight pony tail! (kinda like Usopp but it drops down more, not as round rlly) He is 18!

16) Benny, as i said, is a lot like Brook but he is also incredibly inspired by Cyclonus too! He does have a love for old music and loves sword canes- But hes a huge chicken like Brook too- He loves Les Misrerables and he loves Hamilton- if you even get this man started, he will earrape One more Day and Satisfied until that's all you can hear in your worst nightmares-

32) Yunni is about 5 feet 6 inch of pure sass- He is blond with big green eyes that are quite beautiful actually- He loves pink booty shorts and crop tops with things that say the dumbest jokes like "kawaii on the streets" on the front and "Senpai in the sheets" on the back- He is a great cook and will gladly be your sassy prep boi- his hair is kinda a combo of Sanji and Italy from Hetalia- He has that one strand of curly hair like he does but theat medium hair that covers one eye like Sanji but it's longer on the left and curls at the tips! He is 24!

16) He is inspired by 4 characters! Sanji, Italy, Swerve, and Bumblebee- His personality is a mush of Swerves low self-esteem jokes, Bumblebee Bayverse sass, Italy's cuteness, and Sanjis slight anger problems and his cooking skills aren't as great but hes a great bar tender! He loves Jeff Dunham, Gordon Ramsay, and Kevin Hart and he references their jokes or threats on the daily-

32) Ruby is the daughter of two black magicians! Basil Hawkins and Dorothy Hopkins (whos next!) She has looong hair like her dad but is a slightly dark brown with black a the tips! She has his deep red eyes tho- Her face is more rounded like her mother's and she's only 5 foot 4- She's calm ajd quiet but can and will burn you not just literally but with just five words, your life is over- She always has a small smile on her face and always carries her book of spells! She has both her parents clothing sense wth dark clothes but she has to have her fathers old school frills and long black and red robes like her mother! She is 20!

16) She is inspired obviously from Hawkins- But she is very slightly tinted with Drift from Bayverse! She will tell dark dark poems at honestly the not so best of times- and she loves swords! She loves Adventure time and Steven Universe- Its the only light side to her just don't say that to her face-

32) Dorothy is a 5 foot 5 Long slightly curly black curly haired magician! She has a third eye that runs in her now extinct royal family. She is always gently smiling but will put you in your place- One cold stare and make you wanna regret being born- She keeps her third eye covered with her hair and has emerald green eyes- her third eye has a huge dry eye problem so its kinda lightly tinted yellow with red veins- but its still green! She loves her medical dark magic gowns and gear! She is more into demons and sacrifice while Ruby likes to summon little demons and do blood moon stuff! They both love crystals tho! Amythest and Quartz are a must-

16) She is inspired by only a two people- Loki from Marvel with her slight sense of humor and honestly her hair- And she is also like The Black Magician who is from Princess and the frog who I can't remember the name of- She becomes someone else if she uses dark magic too long at once! She loves soap operas and would die to see Phantom of the Opera live-

32) Lucas is a fun loving spider mink human hybrid! He is the son of Admiral Kizaru and My GFs OC Kasumi! He looks a lot like his dad but his personality is a little different! His hair is more curly and his a milk chocolate brown! He has four eyes but usually only uses the blue bottom eyes and keeps the red upper ones closed- He has elf like pointy ears and his dad's ridiculous lips- He has his eye brows too- But! he has his mom's fangs and eyes! He also has for slightly clawed arms and hands! He is just at perfect 6 feet! He uses swords and webs in battle that come from his hands like spiderman! He is calm but has many jokes and could be hiding anywhere- He is always smiling and tapping a foot to some song in his head- He loves his light peach orange uni pocket hoodie and his loose dark blue jeans with his converse-

16) Hes inspired by Kizaru of course and he is like a Rose Trantula kinda- More calm than most big spiders but still can and will fight you- He is also inspired clearly by spiderman! He also kinda reminds me of Whirl when he snaps- Or like IDW Drift when he gets Slicy dicey- He loves the old stuff like Ren and Stimpy and he still gets nightmare about "return the slaaaab" From Courts the cowardly dog-

32) Julie Ann is a pink haired girl with purple tips and is full of spunk and curse words- She has a thin mechanical arm after getting it blown of by her own inventions! She is smart and narcissistic but secretly fears being alone- She loves military boots and torn up rock shirts that are almost a little revealing thanks to the giant arm pit holes- she loves black leather pants and always has half her head shaved on the left while the right is just flying around! But she does have a piece perminantly braided in the front of her head on the right and it's a just a few inches passed her shoulders- She will fist fight god and walk backwards into hell with both birds up- she has sky blue eyes!

16) She is inspired By Julie Sue from the sonic comics! (The older stuff) and Eustass Kidd from one piece! She can be a lot like Braintsorm/ Whirl too- Shes a scary woman- Five Finger Death Punch and the all edgy verse of DC is her life-

32) Mel is A very shy GIANT Angler fish- I know in real life male anglers are tiny as hell but I really wanted a big shy man and Mel happened- Melvin is green with sea blue spike fins on his arms and back of his calfs! He has huge spike fin gills too but has learned to breath air over time- he has the little dangling trap from his forehead and has a combed over blue mohawk- He has big sharp teeth that poke out from his mouth in random places- his hands have blue webbing and so does his feet- His eyes are black and have gold squiggly irises- He is at a scary 7 feet 4 inches but he just wants hugs- This man cries when watching Endgame and Phantom of the Opera- He has a love for shirts that are just a little loose on him and loves jean shorts with sandles! He also loves crocs- Don't tease him he'll literally cry-

16) He is inspired actually by Ten from IDW and a bit of Endgame Hulk- He is also like inspired by Katakuri from One Piece! His sharp teeth from Kat and his body build is not quite as beefy as Hulk but he's kinda close honestly- He loves Steven Universe and the original Teen Titans! He squeals like a fan boy when ever he sees Beast boy-

32) Jake is happy smart mini Dobbie! He is the shortest standing at 4 feet 5 inches! He has a stub tail and a golden pirate ring piercing on his right ear! He has all the colors and looks of a dobbie he just smol- He loves to fix things and will growl if you poke to much fun at him- Ruby calls it 'Short man syndrom' and he hates it- He only wears blue torn up blue mean shorts- No shirt and no shoes- His eyes are bright bby boi sea blue! He loves head pats every now and then and loves bacon- You can kill this mans family and hell forgive you for 5 pounds of bacon- He blasts Wheezer and Gorillaz from his work shop at all times!

16) He is inspired by your typical tiny Dobbie! But he kinda looks like a mechanic version of Rewind- He is also inspired by an old friends dog who was named Jake! He doesn't watch much tv or movies but if he does its gotta Be Marvel- This man looks up to Tony Stark like a god and has an Iron man poster for modivation in his shop-

((I hope this isn't like too gross or annoying- Ive never mentioned any of my OCs- In fact i just forgot my main OC Lola- w o w- If you want stuff for her just let me know! I'll even try to find my old doodles and my gfs doodles if you want me to-))

[i-am-the-entertainer]

Final impressions on RvB15

Spoilers, obviously.

Overall, this season gets an A+ from me for humor, voice acting, character development, and overall use of RvB mythology to enhance the story. However, the end result left a lot to be desired.

Part of the problem for RvB especially recently is striking the balance between a dramatic plot and humor. No season of RvB has necessarily failed in making me laugh, but I think the best seasons after the original BGC were the Recollection Trilogy ones, because they added so much to the show’s backstory while still finding the right amount of humor––they still felt like RvB despite taking a slightly darker turn. Seasons 9 and 10 felt a bit unbalanced due to the Freelancer plot, and Seasons 11-12 upped the the drama but were bogged down by lower-quality original animation after Monty left to do RWBY. Season 13 really upped the drama to a point I thought overshadowed the entire show, which I actually kind of liked but realize may not be everyone’s cup of tea.

Something Seasons 6-13 have in common though is that when you show them all at once they work as one long movie, which you see a lot with streaming services. But when you only show 10-20 minute sections each you’re bound to slow the pacing of it all, and you also have to expect angry fans who aren’t getting enough week-by-week. RWBY especially had this problem during Volume 1-2 when the episodes were even shorter, and it honestly bizarrely had this problem during Volume 4 (wth, RT?).

Which brings us to Season 15. Season 15 had me falling on the floor laughing quite a bit, and I think it works fine if you watch it all at once (which I have just done), but I’m sorry to say it doesn’t really hold up when it’s spread out over 21 weeks. The earlier episodes (especially The Chronicle, Previously On, and Nightmare On Planet Evil), when they were still introducing stuff, were the best in terms of overall quality, but the final few parts especially felt like they felt obligated to chop up the climax, which I can understand them wanting to do but just ruined the overall pacing. I think it would have stood up stronger if we felt less of an urgency to wrap up the Blues and Reds’ story, but it took so long to get to that point at that point I just wanted more to happen.

Another point: despite the hatred Miles Luna gets from this fandom, to me the way he wrapped up Season 13 gave the show a really great sense of finality, which honestly posed a huge problem for anyone following him. You can only do so much with the plot when they had something that huge as Church dying for the final time. Joe Nicolosi had some big shoes to fill.

Final impressions:

Strongest Episode: Either Previously On or Objects In Space. Previously On for just how ridiculous it got, and Objects In Space by virtue of Geoff Ramsey’s performance alone.

Weakest Episode: Both Red vs Red or Blue vs Blue. Honestly, these could have just been one episode, the split made them feel way too short.

Best Character: Grif. Love his development.

Worst Character: Tucker. I’m sorry, but it felt like he took a giant step back in character development this season, like they just completely rebooted him. He had some good moments, but he felt uncharacteristically stupid this season for what we’ve seen of him these past couple of years.

I was tempted to write Jax or one of the Blues and Reds, but the truth is the reason I hated those characters was because I was supposed to hate them: they were supposed to get on my nerves, and they very well succeeded. Tucker is one of RvB’s main players, we’re not supposed to despise him, but this whole season I found myself hating him more and more for his poor judgment.

One final note: I found myself really getting ticked off this season by people complaining about a perceived plot choice they saw the show going and writing a really passionate post complaining about it, only for the plot to not go anywhere in the direction they were complaining. Case in point: when we all thought Church was still alive and someone wrote a passionate post criticizing Joe for “ruining Season 13′s ending.” Like, seriously: some things are predictable, but you shouldn’t really criticize what you don’t know is even true.

#rvb15 #rvb15 spoilers #red vs blue

[authentic-notions-and-coffee]

A Literal Story

At this point it’s like I’m going out just so I can write about it the next day.

Except I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to start writing about it. I was going to take my usual approach and write about just my feelings throughout the night, but instead I’m going to write what actually happened. Take a bathroom break, then grab your popcorn because this one’s a long one.

After ordering my second mixed drink of “Flor de Cana and coke” but instead receiving a quarter full glass of ice and the rest full of straight Flor de Cana w/ a can of coke on the side, I knew what kind of night it was going to be.

My first confused moment of the night was when I sent my sister-in-law’s video of me and a mutual friend dancing, to my friend from work who commented how I “really move like a man behind there - WTH - like you have a willy!!!”. No offence taken (shrugs). I actually take pride in the way I can handle a bumpa anytime, anywhere - sober or drunk, thank you very much. But is she saying that I don’t have a “willy” to be able to handle it though? Or that because I’m a woman I can handle it just like a man or better? I’m going with my second assumption.

I was pretty sure I saw my high school math teacher, who I haven’t seen since then, just show up to my happy hour spot. I’m sure she’s the reason I failed math...paying attention to the wrong bumpa-I mean formula. Have mercy. I guess she noticed my confusion because she came over to hug me and ask how I was doing. I told her I didn’t know whether to feel old or young because she definitely looks even better than she used to. Blame the alcohol. The weirdness of that interaction led me to message my main and I tried to explain how confused I felt - even asking if she was her teacher since we both went to the same high school. She had no clue who she was (I mean, she did block out her high school days) but when I told her how she came up to hug me etc. she said “Ew - tell her to get away lol”. I didn’t mind it at all though.

My second confused moment of the night - well I’m not sure exactly what happened on my part but during the conversation of laughing emojis, funny gif’s & drunk typos with her, I somehow misread something she said and made a dumb ass comment questioning if she had someone out with her to which she responded “you sound like a man with that question”. Ouch. That was my response and current feeling just recalling that moment. I tried explaining how much I didn’t mean for her to take offence to what I said but her honest self was quick to call me on my BS. Rightfully deserved, so why am I still overthinking her response? Everything I say when I’m drinking is how I really feel and it’s nothing less than the truth. If anything, even more so. I just didn’t feel like 3rd wheeling it that night, that’s all. I mean, I guess I shouldn’t have questioned her like that, but damn...her saying I sounded like a man was hard to hear...and a second time though? Just 45 mins after the first time I heard another friend tell me I’m behaving like a man? What kind of coincidence is this? All I know is I’m sounding and behaving like me. So what does that even mean now because I really don’t know how to feel. 

Anyway, we moved along the conversation and I drunkenly found my way to her location. Her cousin was with her and as I hugged her cousin first and wished her a very belated happy birthday, I felt her pulling on my arm. “Why do you always gotta hug her first?” That angry pout though. Not sure if she actually wanted me to answer that, but I did. “So I can get her out of the way to hug you longer”. That smile though. As I sat down with her, she surprisingly carried the conversation then tried to get me to help her drink her Appleton & ginger ale although she knows I can’t stand that mix. I might as well drink the Appleton straight. Where is the sugar, Lord?

I was way too drunk to even think about drinking anymore alcohol so I decided to grab a cup of coke from the bar. She comes over and while I was trying to figure out if she was going to order another drink when her full one was still on the table, up comes this dude. Of course. She looked uncomfortable with him drunkenly draped over her from behind so I gave her the are-you-okay look. She squeezes free for a moment to tell me he’s a coworker and since it’s his birthday she told him she would buy him a drink. We exchange eye rolls. Well, that was definitely a lie. To him. I manage to peel him off her and ask what he’s drinking. “Flor de Cana & coke”. Well would you look at that. Another coincidence for the night. I get the bartender’s attention and order hers and her cousin’s drinks too. She pulls out her card and tells me she doesn’t want to pay for his drink. Honestly, I would have paid but I was too drunk to math and I only brought a certain amount of cash to last wherever the night took me. I mean, it was only 9:30pm. He’s on top of her again, not making any sense in her ear from what I can hear. She’s literally leaning so far away from him now that she’s standing on one leg so she pulls on my jeans pocket. I give her the tell-me-what-you-want-me-to-do-with-him look. She tells me to give him his drink so he can leave. At this point, I have to peel him off her again - this time a little harder with a “BRO, chill”. “I know her, you know - I work with her at her office, you know”, “Yeah trust me I know, doesn’t mean you gotta try climb up on her though so chill - Here’s your drink”. Too drunk to even hold the cup straight, he tries to talk in her ear again & spills a bit of his drink on her. I push him away and grab her closer to me - just in time before he spills his drink again as he stumbles away. Weirdly, I’ve missed the adventure of rescuing her.

Back at our table we chat for a bit then it’s time for the next location. Apparently they sell food at that one - news to me. Fast forward to the booth. We even got a waitress now so of course I have to order a real drink. The alcohol is hitting me hard and just as I’m laying back to close my eyes for a bit I open them to her about to sit on my lap. Oh, now she’s ready. Front ways is my favorite, but hey I’ll take this. She’s on top for what seemed like forever - and always on beat. Food showed up so my front got it’s first break. Wow, she’s carrying the conversation again - going on and on, but she’s really opening up this time. A lot of this is new, personal info. I won’t mention it here because I knew it came from somewhere inside that still hurts her. But she also told me things like, she’s Spanish but her mom didn’t want to teach it to her - My dad didn’t want to teach me either. We can both understand it un pequeno but...the look-Spanish-but-can’t-speak-it struggle is real. Thank God for hookah and food at this place because that’s the only time my front got a break. Damn, she was rough that night - it was almost like I could feel her frustration because it’s been awhile since she got some. I could also feel my front was going to hurt like hell in the morning but right then there was definitely something happening in my pants. She slowed it down and I closed my eyes. She leaned back far enough for her bare back to brush my lips. Her favorite strapless tops are my favorite because I can feel just enough skin. I’ve never craved the rest of her before but, it was definitely happening then. My hands started to wander off without me. Up, then down, over then under. Lingering around the areas that aren’t mine and tracing every curve. Quickly holding onto her hips to keep her on top when she would slide off with her wildness.

Then it was my turn. I don’t get much turns because honestly, I prefer to feel dick rubbing on my ass but I’ll do it for the fun of it. Carefully now, because that one time I let her behind me, it was way too much for me to handle. About-to-tear-mine-and-her-clothes-off kind of can’t handle. She promised it wouldn’t happen again but she’s unpredictable. I was just trying to stay safe. Just as she got a little too into it I’m done for fear of crossing that line again. Oh great, now her ripped jeans are ripped all the way open at the knee and we spent God knows how long trying to tie the frays back together. A little distress (get it? LOL) and a lot of apologies. I’m ready for a smoke.

We make it down to the parking lot where her cousin and I smoke a few. I’m just trying to sober up, really. Just as a conversation starts between us she yells at me to stop talking to her cousin and here comes her pouting again. She kept calling me an asshole and said I only love her cousin. I pulled her hard up against me and told her to stop lying - I held onto her and made sure I was looking right into those enchanting green eyes when I said that I loved her more. That I love her the most. That smile again. And that hug. Goddamn, that hug.

I then try to assure her cousin that I can drop her back to her car. This conversation happens every time I’m out with these two. Every time. She doesn’t trust her. She doesn’t trust me. She wants to drive them both. She wins again.

I hadn’t sobered up but I needed to get home as quickly as possible. Once I pull into my driveway I messaged her to let her know I made it and to make sure she’s okay. I needed to get inside my house and find my bed because I was about to pass out. And my front was aching like a bitch. I fell into bed and sent her my final messages of the night - how drunk I still was, how much fun we had, how sorry I was for tearing her already torn jeans and an “I love you”.

I passed out before I could read her replies including an “I love you too”. That was reassuring to see first thing in the morning while wondering if I should get out of bed to ice my badly bruised front.

You know what wasn’t reassuring? Seeing a tear in my goddamn panty. A TEAR! Ouch. Another coincidence? Damn, what a night.