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#honestly fuck today
inkskinned · 2 months
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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closedrop · 7 months
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Sans cake Sanake if you will
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prismatic-ink · 2 months
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insane and deranged new hermit speculation
aka, one of them is very likely to be Joel.
First, some context.
Jimmy knows who the new hermits are. he said this in one of his Chunklock streams a WHILE ago, but I kinda thought he was joking. but he reconfirmed it in his current stream, with the cheekiest grin. now why would he know that....
also, Pearl said she had an important Minecraft recording that she had to cut her stream early for at 7 am Australian time, and based on Doc tweets, this seems to be the first HC 10 recording. Currently, Jimmy, Martyn, FWhip, Sausage, HBomb, and Scott are streaming, and they might not still be streaming till then, but if they were the new hermits they probably wouldn't be streaming right now. That leaves the two most hyped potential new guys: Skizz and Joel.
another VERY interesting tidbit of information: In Tango's patreon discord server, Cleo said that if the new hermits had TCG cards, they'd be Balanced/Builder and Balanced.
Skizz first. He would probably be the Balanced type. I don't really need to get into him being friends with so many hermits, we all know it.
However, I will say, after the last Imp and Skizz episode where Skizz talked about not having enough time to do anything I do think he isn't going to be in HC 10 unfortunately. It seems like it won't be in the cards until he goes full-time content creation. Also, Doc said the new hermits didn't know him that well, and while Skizz isn't like besties with him or anything he's been in his circle long enough to know him at least a little bit.
But what about Joel?
Balanced/Builder DEFINITELY fits Joel to a T. While his content is focused on building, he's also good at PVP and is a prankster, making him balanced. He's also close with hermits blah blah blah but here's some more EVIDENCE (actually just wild speculation). Why would Jimmy know about this? Yeah, he's close with Grian, but still. Maybe because he, Grian, and Joel came back from their trip yesterday, and the recording was today because it was the earliest possible time for it to happen for all hermits to be there, and Jimmy was filled in on this. It also explains why Jimmy seems so excited about knowing the new hermits to the point he's spoken about it twice. Obviously, he would be excited for his friend.
also this is straight up copium at this point but the shadow people on the new banner are based off a Steve and Alex model. If they were both guys I feel like they wouldn't go through the effort to make them different models. maybe,,,, maybe lizzie ldshadowlady? even though she probably wouldn't be into hermitcraft? maybe?? or at least a new female hermit. because that's the biggest thing against Joel not being a new member, if Lizzie isn't there with him it would be kinda strange ngl
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aphel1on · 4 months
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neuvillette's lore is actually insane. we all took one look at him and went "haha dragon🫵" but i significantly underestimated how big of a role he would play. he's the incarnation of the original hydro sovereign. he took back his rule right under the heavenly principles' nose. he's the one handing out hydro visions now (not even because he has to, he doesn't, he just grew so fond of humanity that he chooses to). he gave away the hydro gnosis bc he straight up doesn't need it. he's planning to DETHRONE ALL OF THE ARCHONS (in a few hundred years, when the traveler's not around to see it, so it won't be awkward for them). he's kind and soft-spoken. he's full of vengeful rage. he's a father to hundreds. he found his purpose after feeling lost for 500 years. skirk pulled him aside for a super-secret convo and when he saw us again he immediately spilled the tea. as far as i can tell, he spawned into existence fully formed. no other character can fucking compare
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fragonreal · 15 days
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flustered fucking dumbass
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hood-ex · 6 months
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Cass looks like a vampire
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Nightwing #106
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neo-xolotl · 10 months
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he made a rustic cake ¡¡!¡
these are some drawings i made powered by the headcanons of my friend @starsintheendlessnight :))
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theswordnthepen · 13 days
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The thing that drives me up a wall about the ed and cj discourse is that I feel like people conflate the ed we see on screen as the same exact person he was when we was younger and I just don’t think that’s accurate.
Like I’m not gonna say that those parts of him that liked nice soft things didn’t exist because I think they certainly did but I don’t think that’s the whole picture. I think at one point in his life, ed did not find the lifestyle he’d been living a total bore or a drag. I won’t say that he outright enjoyed it, because the show makes it a point to say “we don’t do this because we like it” because it is born out of necessity and survival. However, I don’t think that means ed didn’t and couldn’t find something to be excited about in it.
The way we see him now though, is someone who has grown and matured and has come to the realization that “hey I actually hate this.” And does try to change that (and is successful at changing it after some work bc he does leave piracy).
Anyway people are capable of growth and change and I think that that’s one of the best things we see in this show.
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haleyincarnate · 3 months
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I am sick with yearning, my heart driven ill trying to contain each drop of love inside of it. I am a dam threatening to burst. I am a storm flooding the valley. I am desperate to pour, pour, pour.
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frnkiebby · 18 days
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That fucking cardigan~🎃
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shingekinomyfeelings · 5 months
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People really need to stop equating virginity/lack of sexual experience with someone being 'naive' and 'innocent' and any other bullshit terms indicating immaturity. Getting fucked for the first time will not imbue someone with wisdom or a deeper understanding of humanity or love or the realities of the world. Sorry if you think sex is literally magic, it's not.
Also, this shouldn't be a hot take, but if someone who has never wanted to have sex has never had sex, that's actually a good thing.
Don't you fucking dare imply I'm lacking something.
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amygdalae · 4 months
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Customer was just so mean to me over the phone abt something I literally couldn't do anything about 🙃
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tarmac-rat · 6 days
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A nomad and her brain tumor walk out of the city...and into a bar
Very lucky and blessed to have a friend in @janeofthechoir12, who offered to snap photos of Riley decked out with some of the mods that I've had my eyes on over the 3 years I've played this game.
It's baffling to see my V actually in the way that I picture her in my head (minus the more heavy stuff I'd need to mod myself) but damn, she looks so good and if I go on any longer I might start tearing up a bit so I'm just gonna see myself off lol 🥲 💙
Check out Em's Tumblr and their work on AO3 if you get a chance! Their V/OCs Ambrosia and Mika are a DELIGHT I give them chocolates on the daily.
Clothing, hair, eye, accessory, and pants mods all linked here
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mystical-one · 5 months
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WARNING IM GOING TO BE HONEST AND EARNEST HERE. i really unironically unconditionally liked now and then
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cursemewithyourkiss · 7 months
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I don't trust anyone who thinks the childhood section of Jane Eyre is boring
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wantbytaemin · 7 months
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going cocktails w work girlies and rock concert of one of their bf’s afterrrr 💋🖤
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