#honestly im still in awe

[aphel1on]

neuvillette's lore is actually insane. we all took one look at him and went "haha dragon🫵" but i significantly underestimated how big of a role he would play. he's the incarnation of the original hydro sovereign. he took back his rule right under the heavenly principles' nose. he's the one handing out hydro visions now (not even because he has to, he doesn't, he just grew so fond of humanity that he chooses to). he gave away the hydro gnosis bc he straight up doesn't need it. he's planning to DETHRONE ALL OF THE ARCHONS (in a few hundred years, when the traveler's not around to see it, so it won't be awkward for them). he's kind and soft-spoken. he's full of vengeful rage. he's a father to hundreds. he found his purpose after feeling lost for 500 years. skirk pulled him aside for a super-secret convo and when he saw us again he immediately spilled the tea. as far as i can tell, he spawned into existence fully formed. no other character can fucking compare

#neuvillette #genshin impact #4.2 #genshin spoilers #aphelion.txt #SORRY BUT I FINALLY FINISHED THE AQs TODAY AND IM IN MY FUCKING FEELS #by all rights he should've hated focalors- the thief of the hydro sovereignty- the most. #he cried when she sacrificed herself in front of him. #he is so gentle. i think he does feel genuine indignance and anger over what happened to the dragons #but he mostly talks about the eventual judgment as if it's something he must do out of obligation and duty #i loved him in 4.0 but he honestly shot up the ranks now to being one of my favorite genshin characters of all time #i'm still in awe at how he and focalors completely defied the heavenly principles and WON. #barring some big plot twist in future updates they fucking WON. #any victory against the heavenly principles that we've seen in the story so far has been pyrrhic at best #this is the sort of thing i'd think would usually cause them to nuke fontaine with a heavenly needle #(lol that would be a devastating one-off fanfic for someone to write) #but anyway focalors most bamf god of teyvat fr #and neuvi her accomplice my special guy

[skitskatdacat63]

"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."

+ process(tw blood)

Also, look at him, bloody little guy 🥹

This drawing was inspired by several matador pics :D here and here:

^ I don't think I'll ever live up to the second one ah. There's several pics of that specific guy just soaked with blood, and I'm uh a bit obsessed with then ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW OKAY! But I've not drawn blood in a while so it was a bit difficult so I added less than I would want to I guess. Also I'm obsessed with how often they kneel in bullfighting?? Like okay who are you arching your back and spreading your legs for-

#ah not 100% sure abt this one but i think i still like it!!! #i was practicing matador poses during the wknd and im like yeah should prob paint one #and then it felt like all the energy left my body djfkkglg i was like ugh how do i paint again????? #mostly: just really wanted to draw him bloody #i love how every time i draw him in ferrari colors its just the most eye bleeding thing ever #my eyes get too used to it on my ipad's display and im like aw this isnt red enough :( #and then i transfer it to my phone and it feels like the red suddenly is hurting my eyes even worse djfkkglg #im glad the blood turned out well. i honestly think it was probably easier bcs the clothes are red already #but yes yes suffering ferrari nando. hes my comfort character atp 😭😭 #perfect catie drawing: depressed ferrari fernando. blood. napoleon quote #anyways yeah lmk! i think it looks okay?? idk i think i just love the first 2 matador drawings i ever did #and its very hard to live up to them. but whatever. we move on #im glad i did a more complicated pose at least ????? #also god i was somewhat annoyed w his face and then i redrew his eye and it was like OH OKAY suddenly good okay #tw blood #<- i would put this drawing under the cut but like. my blog i do what i want and i want to draw blood #i used to draw bloody stuff a lot more but ah idk less opportunities now sjfkkglg so it was kinda nice #catie.art. #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #matador au

[napping-sapphic]

God i’m thinking about how easily and unknowingly strangers can grant you salvation like i found it in how my old classmate told me once that i was a kind person and it was the first time i’d ever believed it

in how a coworker once said that i always seem so happy and have a nice smile and i cried about it when i got home since i’d always been told i seem too serious or mean

in how someone once told me i was good at comforting them when i’d always thought i was bad at it

Just god they’re out there somewhere and i barely remember what they looked like and we’ll never cross paths again but they changed me so deeply, they’re out there but they’ll never know how often i revisit those memories and think of myself even just a little more kindly they’re out there and i don’t know them but they’re the most important people in the world to me somehow

#me?? having a Night™️?? more likely than you’d think #im missing the people i never really knew #and im stuck echoing their words to myself #it’s honestly so important to hear things from people who don’t have an agenda to hurt you #who didn’t form a perspective of you at 14 and never let it go #i dont know #it’s just insane how badly ive always felt about myself #how inherently true i thought it was that i was mean or cold or unlikeable #only to have so many people tell me differently the past few years #and i still feel so mean and cold and unlikeable so often because of the people close to me!! #and i probably will forever to some extent!! #and it’s such an awful feeling #but just knowing even one person saw me as kind or happy is such a balm to that pain #that even if every person i meet from here on out found me flawed #there was at least one that saw kindness and joy in me?? that’s healing #idk #idk im emotional and tired and just want to believe i can be a good person sometimes #and sometimes i feel like that one ‘you’re so nice’ i received three years ago is the only thing holding me together sometimes #god just ignore me

[tildexart]

its amazing how one bad relationship can ruin your future friendships and how you communicate with others

did you know that i don’t talk as vibrantly as i used to, because you taught me that enthusiasm was pointless? did you know that i have to shut down half of the conversations im in because they relate to something you said? how many topics i avoid because you ruined it for me? how i cant talk about the music i like without making myself into a joke because you belittled it in front of me? in front of others? how i cant listen to my friends vent or discuss heavy topics because of the pressure you put on me to carry your burdens? how i wait to reply to others because whats the point, ill end up waiting days for a response anyway? how new messages are overwhelming because what if its you, giving me bad news again? how i struggle to listen to others talk about their interests because you never cared for mine? how my friends hanging out with others without me makes me sick because you would leverage that against me?

how i struggle to tell a friend i love them because you just had to ruin that too?

how that, even now that youre gone i still see you everywhere? and it makes me feel ill.

idk. its just wild how easily people can fuck up each others lives, intentionally or not.

#dont rb or comment on this to give me sympathy #im posting this in hopes that others can relate #vent post #tw vent #cw vent #tilda rambles #honestly this is less of a vent and more of a way to explain to my friends why i am the way i am #long story short #get out of a toxic friendship as soon as you see the cracks start to form!! #and to my current friends #im still healing so if my side of the conversation sounds awful #its cause i stil have to distance everything from Them #thems the breaks

[raspberryzingaaa]

There are about a thousand ways more preferable to die then the way those poor souls on that submersible will.

I wouldn't wish that kind of horror on my worst enemy. I think the biggest reason people are freaking out about it is because that is quite honestly the Worst Way To Go.

#i honestly cant think of a single worse way to go. #the titanic #oceangate #tagging those incase people have them blacklisted #i honestly hope they get found but theres pretty much no hope at this point #and i can understand having trouble w empathy here but im still stuck at what an awful death #nia post

[gingeredmink]

even when it's free designs it's so hard to justify sharing art when your mind is trying its best to convince you that you're just subjecting people to it and negatively effecting everyone.

probs gonna log off for a while, not handling how physically painful this is too well

Thank you to everyone that's tried to reach out.

I'm so sorry for being like this and making people worry.

#not art #rayns rambling again #negative #ask to tag #the amount of time thats just spent curled up in bed is laughable #hate how people are nothing but kind to me but it still ends like this #it feels like im taking advantage of people or dont care about others efforts #i genuinely appreciate how much people try to help and it truly means a lot #but im awful with words so it feels like any way i show that comes off as a lie or im faking #even better is feeling like i just emotionally manipulated people into feeling bad for me due to being selfish or something #the fact that id rather hurt myself than bother others in the slightest probs says a lot heh #feeling like you honestly dont deserve to be happy for a second is its own special kind of hell heh #wouldnt wish this shit on anyone

[pm0]

If I said that I disliked jax as a character would you guys still love me

#LIKE UUUUUUGGH Y’ALL IDKKKK #like yes okay I understand he’s not a total pos bc he saved gangle & kinger from that abstraction beast I guess #but he literally left pomni & ragatha with it right before that like . hello #he didn’t even gaf when zooble got snatched™️ but maybe they just. can’t die from things caine created in the circus so he gets a pass ig #ALSO HIM CALLING RAGATHA DOLLFACE LIKE IM ******* MYSELF FOREVER UGHGGH. SO AWFUL LIKE ITS GIVING WATTPAD…… #I understand him being a piece of shit is supposed to give him charm like I understand I do! #but it doesn’t do anything for mee it just makes me cringe whenever he’s on screen :( #maybe it’s the writing or something bc I had the second hand embarrassment issue with pomni too #honestly with the whole cast tbh but especially those two.. but pomni is the failgirl character so i give her a pass #idkk he has funny moments & maybe he’ll grow on me but I don’t enjoy his character likee he isn’t hitting </3 #posts #it’s okayy the pilot was still fun so I consider it a win

[orenjibot]

I made the prettiest stream overlay for my friend for practice and I just have to show it to everyone! I'm really proud of myself for this!

Of course, I'll be doing an obligatory plug in for my comms!

Do YOU want an overlay like this? Feel free to commission me at my VGen!

#teru’s orenji art #stream overlay #stream assets #i am still so impressed with it like #i made this??? damn???? #it looks really different from the stuff i make for myself #but honestly i think its cause i do it lazy or rushed #like i mean... #*points to the free assets i made* #hehe i did kind of lowball them #with the exception of the bunny schedule but yea #im just so.. in awe at it #one of the best things i made so far!

[todayisafridaynight]

One of my fave jackets is this green jacket with a fur hood im wearin rn because 1.) its green 2.) my dad gave it to me 3.) it reminds me of saejima. Who also reminds me of my dad

#snap chats #p sure i talked bout this jacket before but idc read my diary #sorry that every other middle aged man i see i say reminds me of my dad its a compliment #tbh love how i clowned on ichi for being on premium copium bout arakawa but highkey i woulda done the same bout my dad.. i get it ichi.. #anyway :) i legally get to talk about my day with him now :)) HE SAID THE FUNNIEST SHIT UPON SEEING ME #HE SAID ‘oh wow we dress similar :)’ and keep in mind. he was wearing a latte brown coat with a black turtleneck and pants and shoes #meanwhile. i approach With Black Pants And Shoes Admittedly but then im in this goofy old ass jacket with a red scarf #and a crane-decorated dress shirt that i got two buttons undone on like DAAD you are senile. hes so funny #so fun my dad actually recognized this was the jacket he got me- it was one of the first things he bought for me after i told My Secret 🙈 #also i finally asked how tall he was and i can’t believe my dad matches the criteria to be an rgg character he’s fuckin 6’1 like i thought #AH but today was really nice- i got to hang with my sis and her husband as well as my dad’s wife :) #it was awful tho cause the second my sis saw my dad’s outfit she’s just like ‘it’s so kdramacore’ AND SHES RIIIGHT 😭😭 #we later found out dad’s wife loves kpop…. and she bought him his new clothes…. so we are no longer surprised….. AWFUL. #honestly i could write a drama based off my dad’s life i really could it has elements for it. i mean ig i kinda do that already dont i #i borrow. anyways. today was fun :) even if i almost lost my mind trying to take the train the first time #this train system was weird… it wa worth tho it was great seein popop again #yeah….. ugh i have to still drive home from the station. and hope my car is still there #i get very paranoid leaving my car alone so openly i dont like it… #anyways. bye bye :) i might nap til my stop or work on a fic i started #‘snap what happened to’ dont worry about it i need to look at something else or ill scream #ok bye 👋

[chimielie]

in my “crying over deactivated people” era

#lp #this isnt about one specific person necessarily either like. i just get so sad when i remember hqblr when i joined #this is about yuna who i think about almost every day and every inactive person whose blog i check in the hopes they come back and #all the friendships i dropped last year when some really awful things happened and i forgot how to be a person and went on hiatus #and honestly havent been able to recover bc i still feel so much worse at being social than i was Before… #idk i just love you all so much and you have given so much to my life and even though im scared to interact mostly… i check in on you guys a #lot!! i want to know you’re doing okay. sometimes i send anon asks telling ppl i hope they have a good day and stuff bc im too scared to do #it on main HAHAH

[californiasplit]

i wanna paint i wanna sculpt i wanna sew stuff but i spend a full time job amount of time being mentally ill and need to schedule basic needs and energy around that. i wake up i go to work and then i need to lay face down on my bed for 6 hours..

#im honestly incredibly burnt out still i feel awful bc i think im being a dick at my summer job bc i resent it but #i do just feel bad a lot #you know

[hella1975]

Hiiii hellstie literrally never answer this ask if youre not really comfortable with it but god your vent tags resonated with me, like i'm sorry it fucking sucks so much and it's like literrally what can one do now and you're just tired and it's a terrible self feeding cycle but like. It's whatever. We're not dead yet. I have a really pretty rose in the vase in my desk. You got red hair. Time cares not for the little blunders. You can rise to not give up (try again) another day. I'm holding your hand really tight and pressing my forehead agaisnt yours. We too, will make it. Stained and rotten and and a tiny bit broken but alive nonetheless. I think we can.

anon sent me poetry about my dumb vent post and expected me to be normal about it. 'we're not dead yet. i have a really pretty rose in the vase on my desk. you got red hair. time cares not for the little blunders' HELLO???

#my vent post might have been real for u but this as a RESPONSE is very real for me #like even last night when i was in the CLUTCHES of that mood i still had a moment where i was like 'who honestly cares' #like say that i AM evil and wrong and awful. now what. the world has not erupted into fire #it's the hopeful nihilism again. 'everything is fundamentally pointless so do what you love and have fun' #i think we can make it too anon im giving ur hand a very tight squeeze. this ask helped a lot #ask

[tamagotchikgs]

last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here

#but. #even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16 #i traveled across the country just to see her again #and it fucking sucked #she ripped that wound right back open #which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come #she made all the plans #honestly the train trip there was nice #i got to experience a lot of cool things #but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life #just nonstop #and now ive finally been away for awhile again #but i still miss her #& i dont know why #but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win #maybe it's just my roll #say all these nice things n then immediately flip #she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there #& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO... #like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it #but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe #but anyway. again. i stayed #over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay #n she'd do it again #until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH #she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried #but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done #but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster #even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating. #what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me

[girl-bateman]

Yay !! Im gonna talk about it with my friend today !! I think this is gonna help me not go completely insane !! I love love <3

#yeah i still feel super shitty #and its gotten like progressively worse too ? #i cant eat normally. i just chew ? #and im scared to go to sleep bc that means i have to lay in the silence #so i havent been sleeping well ? (at least that means no nightmares lol) #and the shivering and head jerks havent stopped either #ive been trying to pack and do all the practical stuff im supposed to #but i end up having to stop bc? idk? i either start breathing weird or zoning out #look im not an idiot. if this was an objective psych case file id have no problem coming up with a solid idea of whats wrong #unfortunately tho im a real person and i cant exactly be objective about myselt #i also cant focus for long enough to actually properly THINK about it ya know? #but honestly this is so dramatic for no reason lmao sorry for the melodrama #i just feel so awful i need to complain a little 🙏 #but talking to a friend will for sure help ! 🙏💗💗💗 #yay friendship !

[raksh-writes]

The changing time thing, daylight saving or whatever it's called, is such a bitch every. time. Not only do I struggle to fall asleep before 2 am now, but I also have (useless) classes at 8am tomorrow, so Im getting up before 5am and I expect to get no sleep at all. While Im feeling quite sick, too. It's gonna be a joy :")

#personal #vent #sorry for venting so much today yall #Im just being a lil miserable fool #its 3 long days of back to back classes and the next two are 8am #Im gonna be Dying #my neck is still aching something fierce #in that dull way thats making me feel sick #and Im Tired #Id honestly go to sleep if I Could Fall asleep rn #the ache is radiating into my jaw and all over my napr I hate it #washing my hair today is gonna be awful #and I have no energy to make food for the next three days #surviving's gonna be a trial and a half #but if I manage #Im gonna reward myself with some BG3 #maybe even a lil' tonight #if I manage to prep some food #I could do an hour or two #Im not gonna sleep well anyway so #might as well try to have some fun first

[vshushmshu]

UP AND DOWN AND UP AND DOWN AND AANYYTHING I DO IS NOOO SINNNNNNNN !!!!

#SOOOO LET THE CHAOSS BEGINNN !!!!! #kam bol vishu #HELP ME I JUST REMEMBERED JEVIL EXISTS I LOVE THAT GUY #i love any​ clowns and jesters learned in japes and tomfoolery honestly #BUT IM LISTENING TO MAN ON THE INTERNETS WORLD REVOLVING COVER #AND I STILL THINK ITS AWESOME YEARS LATER #well i. don’t know how many years it’s been and saying that makes it sound like a while #NEVERMIND IT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO WHAT THE FUCK ????? #so um. yeah still in awe over how bro voiced like half of not more of the characters #INCLUDING JEVIL #and churned out 6 songs for the first chapter in record time. what a g #anyways i have a habit of rambling in tags and i’ve had to cut down what i say #because i’m prone to reach character and tag limits LMAO #SO YEAH #THANKS FOR READING THIS FAR IF YOU DID AND REMEMBER I LOVE YOU