#honestly it's such a specific thing that I don't usually avoid a movie or ask if such a scene is there; but I guess some movies and games

[starmunchandthefunkybunch]

body language (and some other stuff) analysis: peter quill and rocket raccoon (roquill focused)

I am not a body language expert this is my theory based on body language research and studying the characters don't @ me.

We're doing this by movies folks!

GOTG VOL. 1

Rocket Raccoon and Peter Quill mirror each other constantly throughout the first film, constantly.

If Peter holds his hip, Rocket holds his, as soon as Peter relaxes his pose (both arms by his side), Rocket relaxes his.

Mirroring is a sign of attraction and I think it all started in the Kyln.

In the beginning, when they're in the Kyln, after getting sprayed with that goo, and Rocket walks in naked, his pose is very guarded and self-conscious because he's in a vulnerable position, (his shoulders rounded, his ears flicked slightly forward, and his eyes shifty while avoiding anyone's gaze, he adopts that pose many times, each time with Peter being mentioned or Peter being there, I'll get into that later) Peter, although curious, he...says...nothing. He doesn't take advantage of Rockets vulnerable state, he doesn't make fun of him, he doesn't pity him, he stays silent. That was the beginning of Rocket's affinity for him. That was the beginning of his little crush/like/appreciation/attraction.

(this scene always stood out to me for Rocket's posture and Peter's reaction to Rocket's scars and cybernetic enhancements. The 'unspoken things' passing between them.)

He starts to be aware of Peter's movements, and engaging in contact

- people say, 'hey why are Peter's hold ups explored, his hold ups with dating/being attracted to a raccoon (although rocket ain't a regular raccoon, he's person, a him, he's as much an animal as human beings are) and not Rocket's hold ups with dating a humie well here's this: he engages, multiple times, with Peter with touch. He initiates touch multiple times. He just doesn't really appreciate when someone else initiates touch. I honestly don't think rocket even thinks about it as humie vs raccoon. I think he more of thinks of it as his insecurities vs the world.

But Peter didn't mind his insecurities. So, he's aware of Peter's whereabouts, instantly scurries to follow him, puts a hand on his thigh, and whispers 'Quill', which is really a plea for not going further. He doesn't stop him, he asks him.

AND EVEN THEN!! they're mirroring each other. Or Rocket, more specifically, is mirroring Peter.

Eyes! Peter always, always, looks for Rocket and when Rocket does or says something, he looks for Peter, first.

The first person in trouble they both look for is each other, to make sure they're safe.

Peter immediately, after Rocket crashed his plane into Ronan, checked on him.

They're usually standing near or next to each other, with open arms and open torso. The only time Rocket closes this is when he's doing his, insecurities vs the world or vs the group, thing, or he's coming to a decision or he feels too vulnerable, or he's trying to be....firm....on his decision, so he'll cross his arms , look away, hunch his shoulders.

Peter actually sorta adopts the same pose when he's embarrassed, holding his arms closer together, messing with his fingers, looking away, hunching his shoulders.

Peter often ducks his head to meet Rocket's eyes, nobody else really does that, Rocket usually has to look up, and will swivel his head to pay attention to what Rocket says.

Interest ^ he's actively interested.

Rocket is invested in Peter, in the background often times, he's looking at Peter and observing what is going on

Rocket's super observant. He's even more observant with Peter. His ears twitch and his head tilts a little.

Interest ^ actively interested.

Anyways, overall, in the first movie, Rocket is a lot more touchy and close to Peter and Peter calls Rocket his friend two seconds after knowing him. Peter immediately sees him. There's a click! here.

This is what I like to call...a slight attraction, a small crush, on Rockets part. Peter? Peter thinks Rocket is interesting, he's his friend, c'mon, but Gamora? Gamora is the pretty girl that can kill him. He's already got a lot on his plate. He's already got someone.

There's an unspoken thing alright but it's not just the one you're focused on, buddy.

-my words to Peter ^

Mirroring, looking, choosing, interest. Tilted towards one another or paralleled, don't even get me started on the goddamn music! (That's for another time)

In GOTG VOL 2, all of that changes.

VOL 1 , Attraction

VOL 2, Love

GOTG VOL 2

Immediately, there's more of a rift between them.

It is so palpable. It's dense. There is an air between them, with Rocket in the beginning sorta trying to make Peter feel better about the high priestess being a not very nice lady and winking at Quill but it not being received well, and Peter not really joking too much with Rocket. Rocket pulling away. It's a very tense air. There is tension.

This movie, Rocket focuses on interacting with baby Groot, Gamora, Drax. He, unlike in the first movie, hardly ever interacts with Peter unless it's to tease him or to defend him (in the beginning of Vol. 2)

There's a noticeable pushing away.

And, unlike the first movie, there is little to none mirroring. There isn't any mirroring but there is a lot more, from Rocket's part, self conscious posing and guarded expression while Peter is still dynamic.

Possibly because Rocket is a little more closed off and he's compensating because he's not used to Rocket pulling away like he is, especially from Peter and on some level Peter doesn't know how to cope with that so it's making Peter agitated as well, and well

Rocket doesn't like to be open, vulnerable like that. He doesn't. So he's pushing Peter away.

And the reason why? The reason why he hunches his shoulders, his ears hang forward, and he avoids eye contact? The very things he does when he's feeling vulnerable? Is because he loves Peter and is trying to cover it up.

He loves him. What happened last time he loved someone dearly? What happened?? So he pushes them away so they don't get hurt because he blames himself for the hurt that's happened in the past.

He pushes Peter away.

He only ever adopts that body language in the movie when Peter is brought up or he is talking to Peter, and the only reason why he didn't act that way when getting the music together or whenever talking to the high priestess is because he was 1. Focusing on something else, and 2. He was defending Peter, he had his arms crossed in front of him in a defensive, guarded posture, his feet shifted slightly, and his chest puffed, because what the priestess said about Peter pissed him off.

(he is imperfect, his friends of past were imperfect, he's been dealing with this shit his whole life, he's mad, and trying to make Quill feel better. It doesn't work, the rift deepens, yadda yadda.)

When Yondu brings up Peter while they're waiting for baby Groot to grab the fin, Rocket does his vulnerable pose, whenever Peter leaves and tells him, 'are you trying to make everybody hate you?', he does that pose, and besides that he also does the pose when he's trying to get dressed in the Kyln, after getting sprayed down.

Another positioning aspect I noticed, is that, throughout vol 1 and vol 2, Rocket is in between Gamora and Peter. Consistently in between Gamora and Peter. The only time this ceases is after Yondu makes Rocket acknowledge he's in love with Peter ('for what? for honour? for love?' Rocket looking at Yondu with a heart broken expression of surprise because he saw through him, because he knows.) And Rocket and Peter mend their breaking chain by Rocket apologizing in his own way ('and he stole batteries he didn't need?' 'of course not.'). Because they needed to mend that broken chain, because Rocket needed to know that he felt the way he felt and accepted that and moved on with acceptance because Peter likes/loves Gamora. Peter doesn't feel that way about him. And so, after their relationship is mended, and Rocket realizes this, he literally and metaphorically moves out of the way of their relationship.

Only after Peter and Rocket's relationship is mended does Peter enter a relationship with Gamora.

Because! Peter and Rocket has always been the most important relationship in the group. Everything would go out of tilt if they had a rocky relationship. (heh puns)

Anyways. 2nd Vol. Love, and 1st vol. Attraction.

More Things I noticed:

Rocket's resting position is his arms crossed, and feet neutral, posture neutral. He crosses his arms often, but depending on the look on his face and the things goin on, changes why he's crossing them, and Peter's resting position is both his hands on his hips, sorta like he's about to put his fingers in his pockets. Both Peter and Rocket talk with their hands.

Whenever Pete is pissed, he brings his arms closer to his body and balls his fingers into fists. He, much like Rocket, goes from 0 to 100. Especially when it involves those he loves.

Whenever Rocket is pissed he spreads his feet evenly for more balance and brandishes his claws and shows his teeth (unless he has his guns, or he's drunk, then it's slightly different as with Peter.)

Whenever Mantis went to pet Rocket the first time, he was listening and barely snapped at her fingers with his teeth. He heard Drax joking, is my theory. He coulda snapped her fingers clean off. He didn't.

Peter has open body language most of the time, his arms open, and his feet apart, he becomes more closed off and tense when he's angry (body language right) and he becomes more deflated when he's embarrassed (shoulders hunched, eyes downcast, twiddling with fingers/thumbs, not as talkative)

Peter checks on Rocket more than he does anyone else when they are fighting (except baby Groot, he checks on baby Groot a lot, everyone does, he's baby Groot). Not out of lack of trust or doubt of capability but out of worry and care. When he was fighting Ego, he didn't look for Yondu during the fight, until after Yondu was already getting crushed, but multiple times, he looked for Rocket.

Whenever they landed in the area they needed to to connect the bomb to Egos core, Peter slid over Rocket and landed at his feet and Rocket smirked at him. (It was a soft, sorta fond smirk, not the devious smirk he usually does.)

This was a lot of information. I hope this made sense. I got distracted 60 times. I lost count and recounted. That's probably not an accurate number. Please leave questions in the notes for me to answer if you have any, and I will do GOTG VOL 3 after I have it so I can rewatch it as many times as I need.

Thank you, Rocket loves Peter, and Peter loves Rocket (although he doesn't really realize it in GOTG VOL 1 and 2. I think he knows there's a fondness maybe but it's not a conscious thing.)

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

I love gamora, please, she's amazing. This is not hating them, it's literally just a rocket and quill post.

Tags:

@cheeburgah99 @wisefoxluminary

#roquill #guardians of the galaxy #rocket raccoon #drax #gamora #groot #marvel #star lord #peter quill #peter quill x rocket raccoon #rocket raccoon and peter quill #as always this is my theory and is not law or the best opinion of this ever #its just my thoughts #thanks yew #no hate #rocky paper quill

[amourduloup]

Sorry if you've already talked about this before, but what do you think about the notion that horror is generally bad because it has a misogyny problem, and that exploitation / r&r films are problematic and the ppl who watch them are suspicious? i don't really know how to explain what i mean too well but i know you usually have very nuanced takes about this kind of thing 🤍

i think i understand what you mean, no worries 🖤

honestly i don't think horror has a greater misogyny problem than any other film genre, though how the problem presents itself may be different. it's maybe more blatant within horror but not necessarily worse. movies have a misogyny problem across all genres, i don't think horror is special in that. horror films do inspire some strong reactions though, so i can understand why it prompts more discussion in that vein.

rape & revenge is a particular case, and it's difficult to discuss. i have a lot of thoughts about it, but i find it hard to put it down in writing because they're not very cohesive. i actually did a little research and asked around for material about r&r because i wanted to give an informed opinion but i didn't find much. it'd be easier for me to discuss particular movies anyway, because i don't think i've explored the genre deeply enough.

there are some &r movies i really really love and i know some people watch them because they find the degradation of women titillating -- that upsets me but it doesn't stop me from enjoying or admiring the movie itself. some r&r movies are, in my opinion, really interesting and engaging and i'd go so far as to call them beautiful and thoughtful. of course for each of those you'll probably find a greater number of misogynistic drivel -- but i can't affirm that for sure because so much of my experience has been guided by what other women have watched, enjoyed and recommended, so i've probably avoided whatever didn't have much to offer. but then that's always really subjective -- for example, i don't care for i spit on your grave but my mom sort of loves it. i don't think her opinion is any less valid than mine, and i find opinions differ a lot when it comes to r&r.

i do have a question that i'd like to pose to you but also anyone else reading this, which is -- what you think of when you think of rape & revenge? do you consider only exploitation movies or do you also consider titles like the virgin spring or kuroneko? because of course there's a lot to be discussed about exploitation films, and how some directors managed to make genuinely interesting works while trying to remain commercial and please a certain audience. like, there are things in r&r exploitation films that i could do without but i can still admire the final result. but then sometimes i think of like, thriller: a cruel picture and how the pornographic scenes impact the movie in a way that i personally find interesting because it makes it all the more brutal, and the director really managed to make it all very non-erotic and even cold and distant... sort of going through the motions in a way that imo fits perfectly with what's going on.

but there's just so much to discuss about exploitation and about r&r specifically, a lot of my thoughts are not very cohesive or well informed. i'm curious to know how others feel about it, especially other women, and i'd love to discuss it more. but it's hard to give a solid opinion because i can see the matter through many different angles. like, of course the fact that r&r often targets a male audience while exploiting the suffering and degradation of women is a problem and reflective of a bigger one. but many r&r movies have genuine value and, more importantly, have real value to a lot women.

#idk i could go on and on without ever giving a final opinion ksksks i think there are many sides to this #and mostly i'm interested in women's varied opinions on these movies but like #i can say i've taken a lot from some r&r movies which remain personal favorites #asks

[nevarroes]

HI i hope this is okay to ask but your anatomy / posing is genuinely so fucking fantastic you’re like my number 1 art inspo rn and i was just wondering where you find references / if you use them or any specific tips you have? happy valentines day to gortcas btw

gosh thank you so much🥺

I do use references yeah always, I honestly try to freehand as little as possible even because it helps me to constantly figure out and learn new things without doing studies (as in I'll always try to find the specific angle of an arm or whatever even if I think I know how it'll look just to make sure)

I find my refs ermm... everywhere really. I spend hours just browsing images sometimes nd file them away cause I don't mind doing so, its kinda fun 2 me💜 the only thing I kinda try to avoid is pinterest due to the fact that it mostly shows the same shit over nd over so there's a lot of repeat and recognizable stuff but I do still use some generic pinterest poses sometimes, nothing wrong with it just a personal preference atp but you do need to kinda.... learn what is good reference and what isn't for pinterest specifically imo😖 Recently I've been taking most of my base reference pics from videos instead of stills tbh, porn, movies, stock videos etc. so I do recommend doing that it's been quite helpful!

as for tips I only have one really, which is that photobashing and mixing refs is really, really helpful. Especially with Gortcas I haven't been able to use a single ref at all anymore due to both of their bodies being rather extreme, meaning you can't just apply average poses usually. So what I'm doing a lot of the times is use a "base ref" to set the angle and then just build on top of that, posed 3d models for limbs or even the whole other person, then photobash some more on top of that with actual images for parts that don't really move realistically with the 3d model, hands, face 3d models etc etc. Usually I will do a rough to kinda see if I can make a pose idea work and then I will make a bash to use as an actual reference after. I hope this helps at all!

#blakemail

[twig-tea]

My Universe Round-Up

This was a series of 2-part short stories, essentially each the length of a movie but they're more episodic which makes it an interesting format to get a wide variety of actors, directors, stories, and tones. And all of these vary widely. Most of the actors are very green, which means the performance quality falls all along the spectrum, but overall emotions often fall flat. There are a handful of different directors too (each directs a few of the stories), so these really feel different. The only two things that don't vary are the production quality (middling; sometimes some decent camera shots, but few sets and extras, sound is sometimes shirt-muffled or otherwise messed, the usual hilarity of royalty-free music choices) and awkward subtitles.

The subtitles deserve their own paragraph because I think they're potentially the worst kind, in that they look fine but then every once in awhile the translation is the opposite of what it should be. Having a bit of Thai knowledge and experience with Thai pulps really helps navigate these.

The other thing to say about the structure of this series is that there is a neat thing where each story sets up the next with either a character appearing in the next one or having been mentioned in the previous one. So they're all in the same universe but are otherwise unrelated. Sometimes you can guess whose story you'll get next (like a side character), sometimes it's a real stretch (like the waiter at the noodle place the characters ate at once).

As a really brief summary of what these are actually like in terms of narrative, they took as many tropes as they could think of and then treated them seriously. It could have been interesting, if they had something to say, but I'm really not sure they did. There are a lot of difficult circumstances covered, sometimes with hope, sometimes with nihilism, and it often feels like the story is about the characters around those who are dealing with difficult circumstances rather than those who are experiencing it themselves. Honestly this felt like a film school project about trying out difficult tropes, rather than folks with something to say about a specific topic.

Tropes [note, almost all of these are a dark/sad version of these tropes and end sadly or open]: bodyswap, mistaken identity, in-love-with-your-sibling's-friend, destined lovers, enemies-to-lovers, love triangle, coach/athlete, fake-date-turns-real, twincest, age gap, paid companionship, terminal illness.

Warnings for this series overall: murder, attempted sexual assault (in multiple miniseries), incest (only very lightly speculated about), ambiguous relationship with a minor, cheating, intimate personal violence, death of parents, death of a partner

If you're going to try any of them, I'd recommend episodes 5-6, which were the story Right Time, Right You as a starting point--it has some of the better acting, an open ending, but still some of the dark themes (treated not as dark as some of the other segments) so it's a good litmus for if you should try any of the other parts out.

The one I most enjoyed watching was episodes 7-8 You Are My So(ul) Mate which unsurprisingly had actors who have acted before, and was one of the rare happy endings. The last one, I Wish You Love episodes 23-24 was maybe the best done overall (least annoying flashbacks for sure, decent pacing in the romance, comparatively decent acting) but warnings for the ending.

Details of each 2-part miniseries with rating and specific warnings beneath the cut for anyone still curious about any of these stories! My goal here is to give you enough info to watch whichever ones might interest you so I do spoil twists below when I think it's important to help people decide whether to watch. Feel free to ask questions if you're still not sure or have specific things you want to avoid.

Ep 1-2: Casanova Begins

4/10: Not recommended unless you like bodyswap

This plot was doomed to never fly with me; a dead lover tries to seduce the man he left behind in the body of the man he thought his lover was going to cheat on him with. I love supernatural stuff but bodyswap is a hard hill to climb and 2 episodes just isn't enough time to do it well. That being said, the actors did surprisingly well in the scene where all is revealed and they're saying goodbye. There's a stinger, and it did NOT work for me--people are not interchangeable.

Ep 3-4: Marry Go Round

6/10: Decent pulp with a good underlying message, but you have to not mind slapstick

I like the way one side character from the previous series brings us into the next, it's a neat way to tie these otherwise unrelated stories together. For a slapstick comedy of errors, this worked surprisingly well. The misunderstandings are well set up and make sense, characters have motivation for continuing the shenanigans and the continual additional complications build to absurdity but it all holds together in a very slapstick comedy way. Mei being willing to marry her friend's boyfriend to help keep their secret is top tier allyship. I wish the fujoshi had been chewed out more; she was invested in exposing them as a couple for her own curiosity/excitement and that's gross, and I don't like that she got any credit for their happiness. The mom being a secret fujoshi herself [and, it's implied, very ok with their relationship as a result] was a little on the nose lol The performances in this one were a little weak on the comedy; slapstick like this isn't easy to do well and the comedy suffers from this not being these actors' strengths. All that being said, the underlying message that marriage equality is the right thing and having to stay in the closet causes so much strife for everyone is one I can get behind.

Ep 5-6: Right Time, Right You

7/10: Decent plot, acting, themes. A bit rushed, but good pulp. Warnings for references to intimate partner violence. Ambiguous ending.

I enjoyed this one; I love the in-love-with-your-sibling's-friend trope, I love smiling-to-hide-pain, and I love pining. I love the complicated feelings around not being ready to let go of the love you have for someone even if they hurt you. I love wanting to do something for your friend because you see them hurting, and not knowing what will help. I love your sibling and best friend always being able to read you and ferret out your secrets. The framing in this one was interesting, there were a lot of on the nose imagery with the fence, the rope, the cigarettes. I really liked the dynamic between these characters, Mhok really felt like a younger sibling; a little willful, pouting when he is ignored, or not taken seriously, stealing his sister's breakfast, tagging along. And the ending was sweet. It's clear that Phat feels something, though he's been explicit that he's not ready to open up to anyone. And we basically end with very tenuous possibility. Not for anyone who is not ok with ambiguous endings.

Ep 7-8: You Are My So(ul) Mate

6/10: Fun trope-y pulp. Again you have to be ok with slapstick comedy, and I docked this one for internal inconsistencies but the chemistry was on point.

Ahhh one of my favourite romance tropes, dreaming of your destined person before you meet, and then experiencing the dream in reality! I appreciated that Butr's mom really did have a gift, and that he didn't believe and wrestled with the ethics of that. I also really liked that they tried to engineer a coincidence and had one anyway; I'm a sucker for magic/fate is what you make it. The actor playing Butr looks like a Footloose-era Kevin Bacon when he smiles while ducking his head, and the other lead is from My Cuisine, so I was pre-disposed to find them extremely cute. I do love shy4shy. That being said, a lot of the melodrama was around coincidence, and it was clear the overeager senior was just scouring campus for the guy, so there was a double-standard with the "coincidence" that would work (at least in the eyes of the protagonist) so a lot of it doesn't really hold together if you think about it very hard.

Episode 9-10: Lucky Love

5/10: rough especially with the language gap, but the leads have an interesting dynamic

Content warning for an attempted asault in this one. Annoyed-strangers-to-lovers where one guy has just broken up and is drunk and belligerent about it, and the other is not taking his shit. I really like Jeng as this taciturn dude who shows caring through food. The ex is still around, Meen is still clearly not over him, and goes through the stages of learning to prioritize his own feelings and truly let Noll go. Jeng talks mostly in innuendo, which paired with the bad subs (bad enough that sometimes they say the opposite of what's meant) means that a lot of this one is lost in translation. Because of the short runtime and the amount of time Meen spends getting over his ex, they can't get far, but the show gives the sense that they'll just keep on as they've been going. All that being said, Meen wears dangly earrings and has a femme best friend who is fantastic, and I am a simple person who enjoys her simple pleasures, so I actually didn't mind watching this one.

11-12: The Camp Fire

4/10: really disliked the twists in this; the horror was ok. Warnings for blood, ghosts, references to drowning, on-screen death.

Content warning for blood, ghosts, death (more details follow). Horror BL starring Kaonah and Turbo. Two guys who have been chatting online agree to meet in person but it turns out they already know and dislike one another; now they're stuck toughing it out at the campsite rather than let the other chase them home. Turns out this is a classic BL love triangle wherein one of the boys thought they were competing for the same girl, but his "rival" loved him the whole time (this is not the twist, it's fairly obvious). And that was my first frustration; Talay was unwilling to admit any kind of feelings for Camp even though Camp tries to reach out, even though he's clearly been in love the whole time and now has the excuse of their anonymous conversation and meeting. But then we get into the real spoilers, with the double-twist that honestly ruined this for me. First, it's revealed that June the girl who Camp loved is dead, and she died after being rejected by Talay (implying she killed herself) after Talay pretended to be into June so that she would not take up Camp's offer to be together. This made me really not want to root for this couple at all, Talay's character is awful at this point. Then Camp hears this story and decides to admit he likes Talay anyway, which felt extremely rushed if not absurd, and then June haunts them in earnest and snaps Camp's neck on screen. And then in a second twist, we find out we've been watching a film within a film the whole time, and Talay and Camp just met for the first time for filming this and have just started dating in real life. But we spend so little time with the "real" Talay and Camp that I wasn't invested in them at all as a pair.

13-14 Friends Forever

4/10 friendship in this is great but upsetting on the romance front, and the actual execution was rough and full of unnecessary flashbacks; content warning for coach/athlete, unnegotiated kink (slapping during intimacy), dubious consent (for the slap not the intimacy), murder (not shown on screen), and ghosts

So spoiler based on the content warning, this is a story about a coach who seduces one of his athletes and then murders him so that the athlete won't expose their relationship and get him fired. The sexy scene is consensual but the coach introduces pain without any context or consent, and it's just kind of shrugged off. The coach is creepy from jump so I enjoyed none of the couple's scenes. Beyond that, my issues with this were the massive use of flashbacks in a 2-episode short. They basically re-showed ep1 in ep2. The acting is ok, and the friendship (which is the actual story) between the guy who is murdered and his team is extremely cute, it was heartening how much this team supported their teammate dating the coach and how much they missed him and cherished his memory after his death. But this could have been one episode, or they needed something more to do.

15-16 Fake Love

4/10 flat acting and more flashbacks than actual new shots (half of ep 15 is a flashback of the other half of ep 15, and then we get it AGAIN in ep 16).

In this story a university student is trying to show up his pushy ex by blackmailing a campus 'prince' to pretend to date him. He finds out that his fake boyfriend used to have sex with his ex, and gets upset. They make out and then avoid one another. Fake boyfriend gets beat up and they reunite and admit they both lie to protect their reputations. There's an implication that Pol was being judged for being slutty and Peem was being judged for being poor, which I would have liked as a theme if they then hadn't undermined this by framing Pol as being "good now" at the end. Open but tentatively happy ending.

17-18 Pisces of You

3/10 WHY IS THIS SO DARK DANG. TW attempted sexual assault, blackmail, speculation about incest (really mild),

Ok so this is about twins being jealous and confused about their feelings; Mild is here and he sexually assaulted one of them (idk how young these actors are but this was hard to watch though he doesn't get far). I don't mind what they're doing around twins pulling apart, falling for other people and putting them first, being confused about their feelings, throwing away their future for an unrequited love (this is actually super realistic), regretting their decisions. But goddamn that was painful AF and these baby actors really struggled to actually deliver on these difficult and complex emotions.

19-20 1626

6/10 decent short story but barely a romance. Warnings for age gap.

Follows one of the twins' love interests from Pisces of You; we find out why he wasn't interested in the twin, it's because he has his own love interest in his former tutor 8 years older than him (16 and 24). For what could have been a really cringe story, this was handled relatively well. They were careful that these two characters barely touched, and made the feelings between them very ambiguous and confused. The ties between them were very confused too; they both had family trauma and had helped one another to the point where desire and debt seemed to be inextricably mixed up. I appreciated the choices made in this one. Again, not what I would consider a "romance" story per se. And again, the ending is ambiguous.

21-22 Refund Love

2/10 incomprehensible, terrible acting, terrible plot, zero chemistry, infidelity, manipulation, and weird unclear moralizing around a thinly veiled allusion to sex work

This one, I don't even know what to say. It's trying to be clever with the way it parcels out information, but it ends up being just frustrating and, in the end, nonsensical. I won't even try to avoid spoilers or fake impartiality here, because I really think nobody should watch this one. This is all about jealousy of your significant other taking a job as a "companion" for other people. There's lying, manipulation, and attempted fake relationships for jealousy purposes. I'm sad because this also has a side GL couple, but they made no sense. This couple claimed to have orchestrated their boyfriends deciding to spy on them together (how?) in order to....see if they cared enough to fight for them, after one had already broken up with her man and the other was going to? What in the world was the endgame?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. Anyway they really shoehorned in a relationship in this one with two guys--one of whom just broke up, the other who is thinking about whether or not to break up, and who spent only one day together, most of which under false pretenses--and I didn't buy a second of it.

23-24 I Wish You Love

5/10 big themes, decently handled to a point, but the story was about how helping the terminally ill character helped the abled character find purpose, and that sat wrong with me. Warnings for discussions of terminal illness and character death (not shown onscreen), as well as loss of parents.

This episode was set up as a ghost in the mirror story, but the supernatural element disappears pretty quickly and is actually just an excuse to bring together the two main characters (who knew each other before but one thought the other was dead) back together. This story is trying to deal with the very serious issue of chronic illness and what it's like being young and unable to do the things other people do, and the suicidal ideation that can come from being isolated and having a limited time left anyway, as well as the regrets about missed opportunities. It was also dealing with the sometimes awkward feeling of sorting out the love of friendship and the love of romance, and transitioning from P'-Nong to Faen, especially with the additional fear of loving someone when one of you has limited time. The supernatural element comes back at the end to grant one wish, and to give the character who is sick a chance to undo one regret. It's implied Marwin died, but we don't really see him process having completed their bucket list, instead we get Pond reflecting on what he'll do next and how this experience has given him meaning. This episode had fewer egregious flashbacks than the other episodes, and better acting (one of the main characters is actually one of the series directors, and the other is Winner aka Wai from My Dear Gangsta Oppa, as well as War of Y and Nitiman), but did also use an instrumental auld lang syne in the background of a dramatic scene that was distracting, and some awkward we-don't-have-budget-for-an-actual-ambulance-or-emergency-personnel moments. Overall it was one of the better offerings from this series but I wasn't thrilled with how it made the terminally ill character's death a teachable moment for the one left behind, even though that was honestly flagged as the point throughout the two episodes, so is maybe my hang-up and a little unfair. At least this series framed that it was about Pond the whole time (we start and end with him).

#my universe the series #casanova begins #marry go round #right time right you #you are my so(ul) mate #lucky love #the camp fire #friends forever #fake love #pisces of me #1626 #refund love #i wish you love #bl meta #typed so that i can stop thinking it

[slytherindisaster]

HIMYM or How Andy Met Manon:

Chapter One: Hope Dies Last

This story is very unserious (until it isn't), some portrayals of canon characters might be exaggerated. Sorry not sorry. This is purely for fun.

Reid Van de Lune belongs to @kc-and-co, Mina Pendleton, who is briefly mentioned belongs to @lifeofkaze.

You can find all the chapters here.

The whole school was buzzing with excitement and rumours about the friendly visit from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang schools. It was announced a few days before that Hogwarts, once again, will be hosting representatives from both schools. The students were divided into the ones that couldn't wait for the visit and the ones that couldn't care less. Andy Adler represented the former, Hayden Jenkins - the latter. The breakfasts were starting to get really tough to get through with their different amounts of enthusiasm.

"You don't even know if she's going to be there." Hayden said, annoyed at his best friend.

"She is, I can feel it."

"You only saw her, like one time! She probably doesn't even remember you. You didn't even speak to her, I bet."

"Who doesn't remember him?"

Reid Van de Lune joined them, confused about what his friends were squabbling over this time.

"Some random french girl, Andy fantasies about since the last Beauxbatons visit. Three. Years. Ago."

"Her name was Manon!"

Haden brows furrowed. "How do you even know that?"

Andy's whole face melted into an adoring expression, and Hayden quickly regretted his question.

"The wind knocked off her hat in the Clock Tower Courtyard. I picked it up, and the name was embroidered on the inside."

"Don't tell me you kept the hat…"

"Of course not! I gave it back to her immediately. I looked into her eyes… Man, I wish her friends didn't start giggling and dragging her away with them."

"Woah," concluded Reid, "it's like, a scene from, like… a movie."

"Sure, if you're into psychological horror," Hayden scoffed.

Andy sighed, not giving up.

"Come on, don’t be like that! Help me out, I only need a few French lessons, and if she won't be there, it still couldn't hurt, right? Don't any of your fancy slytherin housemates know french?"

Hayden laughed almost honestly. "Maybe in the last century, they were fancy. Have you seen my roommates? Barnaby can barely handle English."

"Hayden."

"I mean, I guess Mina Pendleton, maybe?" He pointed at a blonde girl at the slytherin table, "But I'm not going to be the one talking to her."

"Why not?"

Hayden shuddered. "She intimidates me."

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE ALL OUT?!”

Virginia Scott’s angry voice carried through the Great Hall.

"Speaking of girls that are unapproachable…" Andy mumbled as their attention turned towards the end of their table.

“Exactly what I just said.” Jae Kim, the person her anger was directed at, didn't seem worried. “I’m out of all the firewhiskey, elder wine, in all honesty I don’t even have butterbeer at the moment.”

Gigi bit her tongue to avoid screaming at him again.

“And you’re only telling me this now?”

“You didn’t ask about anything specific when we talked last week. You know how fast these things sell around here.”

“I-“ she started but was immediately interrupted by the boy sitting next to her.

“So, how long would it take to execute our order?” asked Diego Caplan, pouring coffee into Gigi's cup in an attempt to calm her down.

“Depends.” he answered, looking suspiciously at the list laying on the table before him. “It’s a big order.”

Gigi sighed heavily and reached for her schoolbag in order to find her purse.

“Ever since you ripped me off on that divination chart you’ve become unbearable, Kim,” she said, handing him a couple of galleons.

Jae shrugged and shoved them into his pocket.

“I’ll talk to you soon.”

And with that he was gone.

"Dude, even since her and the hippie broke up she's been a walking nightmare."

"You mean more than usual?" Hayden chuckled. "No, you're right though, she's unbearable in normal circumstances, but this year is like if someone slipped the essence of insanity into her morning coffee."

"Duuude–" Reid almost choked on air, "what if there was like, a potion that would make you totally speak another language?"

"That would be… perfect actually!" Andy jumped up in his seat. "Is there one?"

Reid suddenly became very serious.

"Do I have an obsession with potions and a head full of blond hair?"

"No…?"

"Then how should I know, I'm not Penny Haywood."

Hayden tuned out their conversation as someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around to see two girls he vaguely recognised as fifth year slytherin students. They both were awfully giddy for a Monday morning.

"Sorry, you're Hayden Jenkins, right?"

"The one and only, how can I help you?"

"Well, we just wanted to say that we can't wait to see your band play at the party this Saturday."

"My… band?"

They nodded their heads energetically, and before he could ask more questions, they sprinted out of the Great Hall giggling.

He turned back to his friends completely dumbfounded.

"Snails," Reid said as if he just discovered a new spell.

"Reid that's… I mean it won't hurt to try, we should go anyway if we want to hit the greenhouse before the lessons start."

They gathered their things and stood up.

"Mate, you coming?"

"No, go ahead, I have to take care of something first."

"Suit yourself," Andy shrugged and they were already out of the door.

Hayden also didn't stay at his spot. He had business to take care of at the end of the table. He passed Diego Caplan on his way to the evil witch, and Hayden could swear the Hufflepuff mouthed "good luck" to him.

Virginia Scott was fixing her nails, seemingly unbothered, but Hayden knew her well enough to know that she was still angry about the encounter from before. Her feelings were the least of his concerns at the moment, though.

"Hayden, this is not the best time, darling," she said before he even spoke.

"Don't worry, I just have one little question for you."

She put down the nail file and looked up at him, raising her eyebrows as if she really wanted to hear it.

“Why am I finding out from some random fifth year that not only I have a band but also that I'm going to play with it at your party?”

“Oh, I actually wanted to talk to you about this. I need you to play at my party.”

“Gigi."

“Yes Hayden?”

“I don’t have a band.”

“I’m sure you can figure something out, darling.”

Hayden sighed, immediately regretting not going to the greenhouse with his friends. He could use a smoke right now, after all.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery fanfiction #andy adler #hayden jenkins #reid van de lune #virginia scott #diego caplan #himym or how andy met manon #my writing

[lexithwrites]

I couldn't find the emojis that I wanted to ask 😭😭

But what's the thing you wish you could change in canon?

And what are the tags you look for when reading fics?

ooo those are good ones! honestly, that reg didn't die, like i get why he did but i wish we could have gotten some black brothers interaction in the books and movies, i would have eaten that up—

and i don't really look for tags specifically but i will avoid MCD like the plague, don't put that NEAR me, and usually smut and fluff i wont lie lmao

#the marauders #regulus black #sirius black

[lino-nyangi]

tips on writing ffs?

my dear lovely anon you're asking someone who comes here to shitpost the garbage smut/fluff they're currently spiraling about and leave. that being said, i'll do my best to wring the most tips i can from my last operating braincell. i'll leave it under the cut to not hog the dash x

i would say the most important thing for me is to basically word vomit everything in my head first. doesn't matter if it sucks ass or doesn't make sense *whispers* nobody's gonna know it's between you and whatever writing app you use.

it's just to get a general idea of the storyline, the main scenes and their order (or actions within one scene if it's a short thing) and dialogue

most of the time my drafts just look like a bunch of dialogue and actions done by the characters summed up in short sentences, kinda like a movie script lol

i always say this but my biggest struggle is describing the subtle gestures/sounds that are so simple and spontaneous irl but really hard to put into words and not make it sound too weird or too literal etc (.mp4 to .docx)

i usually just zone out to picture the scene (mostly dialogue, for it to sound more realistic than robotic?) and as words start flooding my brain and i furiously type them down before they fly away (spoiler: a lot of the time they do. it's okay. don't flip the table)

speaking of words, if you're multilingual like me (as in English isn't your first language) you'll be paying a lot of visits to dictionaries and translation websites lmao, not to mention googling "___ synonym (to avoid repetition)" or "word for *insert weirdly specific description" or "___ meaning (for words you could swear you know what they mean but need to make sure they work in this context to not sound stupid)" the struggle™ is real i tell you.

ANYWAY. once you've got the pattern laid out you're gonna go back and little by little edit every paragraph to start making sense, fill up between the dialogue where necessary, especially if actions are done simultaneously with talking. to avoid words that are inevitable like "___ said" try to keep in mind the character's tone and volume of their voice. it could be replaced by muttered/whispered/yelled/etc, or skip that all together for the the action that comes with it, i.e scoffed/spit/sighed/etc

if it's just a quick blurb i honestly don't think of it much more than this and just read it from start to finish one last time to make sure it flows smoothly and makes sense. if it's something longer i do take the time to proofread multiple times and even come back to it several hours later when i'm in a different state of mind. it helps me notice things i didn't the first time. either passages i hated it how i wrote and now they sound alright, or the opposite, something sounds too corny after i thought it was not bad. so i try to fix that.

as for ideas/prompts and how i get them in the first place, i am one incredibly delusional self indulgent fucker so they just flow <3

i hope you find this helpful in anyway! i suck at explaining but i did my best :)

however i do want to point out that if it's something you're not familiar with, it's very advisable to do a fair amount of research on it! specific vocabulary, process of an activity, visual description of a specific place and all that jazz

lat thing i'd say is try making the characters as accurate as they can get to the idol you're writing about? this has a lot of gray area since 1. we obviously don't know them on a personal level so take the word "accurate" with a big pinch of salt. and 2. it's fanfiction at the end of the day so -especially with smut- a lot of writers allow themselves a margin of liberty. but yeah i think that does make a whole lot of difference especially if you write for multiple members.

[elegantmadness]

About Me

Hi there! Just thought I'd post a few bits to give you a better idea of who I am:

34 | she/her | pan-demi

My original blog, Resoan, was deleted and I was afraid of it happening again, hence the move. It's since been restored, but you'll see the lion's share of my reblogs come from that old blog (and subsequent older shows).

Everything I reblog is tagged for easy blacklisting!

There will be NSFW content (tagged accordingly).

I'd absolutely like to avoid interacting with anyone bigoted or prejudiced, but I know better than to think a DNI list will stop someone from stirring things up :c

I reblog a variety of video games, anime, tv shows, movies, and other media. I absolutely welcome asks or messages!

My current obsessions include: FFXVI, FFVII, & Persona 3, and you may recognize my old tumblr pseud as my AO3 one.

I do also RP from time to time, so if that's why you're here, you can find more details under the cut! I'm currently on the lookout for some FF7 Valenwind threads (specific info can be found here).

I only write off-site on discord, through gdocs, or via email (in order of preference). Even if we don't write on discord I'd prefer to chat ooc there if possible.

I only write with 18+ writers, and will always want to include NSFW/smutty content to some degree. I'm happy to discuss limits and a smut to plot ratio.

I have no issues writing any pairing dynamics (m/m, m/f, f/f, trans/nb/other gender-identifying dynamics), though please note where smut's concerned I will not only write tops to bottoms or men to women. For that matter I will not write a canon to your OC without doubling. I'm also comfortable playing poly situations!

While I don't mind any pairing types (canon/canon, canon/oc, oc /oc), I'm mostly only looking for canon/canon right now. I'm definitely not looking for oc / oc, and it would take some convincing to sign me up for canon/oc.

I have no issues writing multiple characters as mains, but again, it's not strictly-speaking what I'm looking for right now. If we happen to click and write multiple ships, I'm down for that!

I write substantial posts. I've been writing novella for ages (usually in the neighborhood of 1-2k words/4-7+ discord posts bc the character limit is a pain in the ass), though I do realize that's not the norm and I'm willing to pare it down (or try to xD; ). Even so, I can usually reply every other day; I'm definitely not the partner for you if you have to have posts daily (or multiple times a day).

Ngl, I'm most interested in character-focused threads! Writing their development/characterization/interaction with other characters is more important to me than any overreaching plot, though that's not to say we shouldn't have an overreaching plot of some kind.

I write in third person (and honestly can't write with someone who writes in 1st - sorry!), and prefer present tense, though I can write in past if my partner does.

If such things matter to you - I've been RPing for 17 years now, writing for 20. She/her pronouns, EST time zone.

[agumonger]

1, 7, 14, 18, 26, 37, 55 and 76 (this one specifically about rh) for that fanfic ask post

1 Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

Multi-chaptered. It's very rare for me to do one-shots, but I wanna look more into them because they're a lot simpler to make. I just really like the progression in multi-chaptered fics. 1000noches is kind of both, as its has "chapters" but it's an extremely short and simple story.

7 How do you choose which POV to write from?

It depends on the scene, which character needs to be developed more, and which character does most of the action or undergoes the biggest development.

For example, picture a scene where Alice tells Bob a secret she's been hiding. If you want to focus the scene on Alice opening up, you write from her POV. If you want to focus on Bob's reaction and how he feels about the secret, you write from his POV. I also recommend Alice's POV if the reader already knows about that secret, in which case we'll probably find Alice more relatable since we know the same information as she does. If we don't know the secret either, we're more likely to feel like Bob.

As another example, if a character has to "learn a lesson" in a scene, and we are meant to experience that lesson too, we should be on the POV of the character who goes through that lesson.

Or at least that's how I feel. I also personally avoid writing from the villain's POV for *too long* unless they're meant to be sympathetic - I often handle their scenes from their henchmen's POV. If they're "irredeemably evil", too much immersion into their POV might make them feel like they need positive development - or is this just a me thing? Oh, unless the villain is comedic and cartoony like Bowser. Then go ham.

14 how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?how do you write emotional scenes?

Oh, ho ho. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah I do. I kind of try to imagine how I would feel, then code it through the character's own personality and background. And sometimes I've noticed my eyes getting wet. But I've recently become the kind of person who cries at movies sometimes. I think at times I almost cried during the fucking Mario movie. When Mario and Luigi reunite. Them feels...

And... yeah. I get sort of inspired by my own experience but I morph everything so it doesn't become the story of my own life. I try to not to indirectly reference real people or real events I've gone through. A good example is Bruno's silent panic attack in chapter 4 due to his bad grades. It was inspired by one time I realized I had to repeat a whole year and cried my heart out at the high school bathroom. Writing that scene felt incredibly cathartic, and it weirdly helped me find some closure after some complicated years.

Something I've noticed about emotional scenes is that they usually need buildup. In order for us to care about a character, we need to through a journey with them, get to know them. Emotional resolutions become more poignant when there's some story building up to it. In book 1 it's gradually hinted at that Briana is not yet okay, and though I feel I should tweak some of the buildup, when it all breaks down in chapter 9, it breaks hard because it's been bubbling up for six or seven chapters. Maintaining a certain degree of relatability, without hammering the point home over and over again, is key, or else we won't connect with the emotion and the scene will either feel hollow or cheesy.

18 Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Honestly... before. I'm such an avid pre-planner with my stories, that I usually have a draft of the whole plot, a title, a theme and a bunch of characters before I even start actually writing.

I don't really know how I come up with them. I usually try to think "is there a theme running through the story?", "what kind of feel do I want it to have?", "can I sum it up in two or three words?"

I usually try to make my titles: memorable, concise, descriptive, distinct, searchable (!) and honest.

Oddly enough, my only regret with Someday as a title is... how common it is as a word. When I search "yume nikki someday", sometimes I get lots of "oh I'd love to play Yume Nikki someday but i don't have the time right now" and stuff. Since thing happened infamously with Digimon Adventure's 2020 adaptation, called... Digimon Adventure:. Yes, with a colon. And you don't pronounce it. You're supposed to just say "Digimon Adventure" out loud. The colon also doesn't show up in some places, such as a hashtags, so when you search the adaptation online, you find the original from 1999. Terrible choice.

By "honest" I mean, make sure the title actually has something to do with the story or theme. SO many books have the word "devil" in the title to make them more intriguing and marketable but they're just random thrillers or something. For me, two to three words is the key, even better if they can be hashtag'd. Make it relevant to the story or themes, make it pronounceable!!! A lot of people keep calling Digimon Extend "Digimon Extended" for some reason. Really, keep it simple, people don't have good memory. (?)

26 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

1000noches (La noche de las mil noches), for real. I wrote it in a month, one chapter per day (each chapter was about a page long), then I illustrated it, one drawing per day, I posted once a day, I ATE Shinanne's Digimon 02 meta at a breakneck pace and literally changed my entire perception of Daisuke while I wrote it. It was made in a frenzy and it's my most successful fanfic yet. But then again, it's short, simple, and it features popular characters.

37 How do you choose where to end a chapter?

Well, I usually try to center each chapter around a theme. My biggest two examples are Extend and Regulus Harbor. In most of their chapters, the theme is either a confrontation or a lore revelation, or an introduction, or characters coming to terms with something. I like it when you can call a chapter "the one where X happens" in just one sentence.

But I don't think I'm that great at deciding what should go in each chapter... I often just add scenes in order until I reach 15-20 pages because it's the chapter length I like, but this is very arbitrary. Sometimes I have to move scenes to the next chapter because of this... often these haphazard chapters are the ones without a main confrontation going on.

In Digimon, setting up a chapter flow is easy. You introduce some concepts, have a bad guy of the week show up, fight, advance the plot in some way, then point towards the next step.

In Regulus Harbor, I've noticed I usually do it roughly by going through one day chronologically. Which means that chapters often begin with Itsuki or Danny (more or less diurnal charas), and end with Lydia, Fermi, Gakkoros or Jokesta (nocturnal charas). I also like to have an introductory scene and an outro/cliffhanger scene that shows where the plot is headed next.

55 Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

I absolutely adored writing Goupemon and Blightmon, the villains, back in Digimon Extend. And also Sketchmon, the comic relief. In Regulus Harbor, I love writing Gakkoros and Jokesta, the main uh... antagonistic force? And also comic relief kind of. But I also love writing Danny because he means a lot to me, he's one of my oldest OCs. And of course, my boy Itsuki. I think Jokesta is my fave to write. That has been amplified by my readers' reactions to my comedy scenes... apparently I'm good at writing random comedic characters!? Says a lot, huh. I wonder how I learned that. (Please watch Nichijou.) Usually my favorite characters to write are my audience's favorite characters. Can you guys tell I'm having a great time or...?

76 Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]?

I know this one's for RH but I'll do it for Extend too. I had this mini-arc at the beginning of season 3 where Monmon and her three uh... former family members...? would be sent to different universes along with the protagonists. I don't remember why I wanted to do it. I also cancelled a lot of stuff season 2 was supposed to have - more Armor evolutions, more time for Iván to shine in his "evil self" (?) but halfway through I realized it was getting stale so I cut all filler and went straight to the endgame before Goupemon's return. Oh and also Goupemon was going to be semi-redeemed - Pandemmon was going to be the final boss. There was also going to be a meeting with the 02 cast full of mistranslation moments.

As for Regulus Harbor, it was originally going to have 14 Reached, and Lydia didn't exist until very late in "production". Before I came up with Fermi, she was supposed to have an unrequited crush on Danny, which is why she acts so weird around him in chapter 1, and why Fermi isn't there yet. I retconned this as Lydia just being really giddy about finding a new Reached with potential and not having to rely only on the children.

Regulus Harbor actually has... tons of scrapped ideas behind, mostly leftovers from when it was a... Spyro fanfic idea? Mixed with an AU with a small Digimon cameo? The original idea was a fangame-type story based on Spyro: A Hero's Tail with 14 player characters with different elemental powers. The 14+2 element symbols are here. You may recognize these symbols as they were used for a map in my game, 311. This was [REDACTED] believe I came up with it so long ago. The scrapped elemental powers are Rock (merged into Earth), Space, Qi (merged into Life), and Crystal (will appear not as an element but something else :3).

The AU thing had a cameo from Devimon... who absorbed the power of all Dark Gems in the world (this is a Spyro concept, there were 40 in the game + 150 in my story +10 more in the AU) AND this was the original idea for Gakkoros!!! YEAH. He would eventually become something like "the incarnation of darkness itself", called Darkuro back then. Again, YEAH. It was 2007... Also, a character based on Ophanimon, called Lishiro (later Ilendora) would try to purify him, and I kept changing Darkuro's redeemability. Deciding on a final veredict took me years, and so far I'm really happy with the result.

Ishmael was going to be a human, powerless incarnation of Gakkoros, trying to get his power back. RH was going to take place in New York in real life, only with humans, all of them coming from different places in the world. The cursed mirror idea is actually very old, from ~2010 probably.

Itsuki's inclusion in the story was extremely late, not decided until 2018-2019. An old OC named Nano, the oldest character of ALL of them, created around 2005, was going to be there instead. Nano's personality was divided into Panuk and Itsuki. Interestingly, you can see a door representing him in Someday's Meta-Nexus. All of the Meta-Nexus doors represent OCs from different stories in different universes, most of which I didn't write at all. Panuk's door is actually repurposed from Víctor's, from Digimon Extend. I've actually been thinking of replacing one of the doors with a new one for Víctor or Joaquín, since it was for a Homestuck OC... and I'm so over that phase :')

There are more unused ideas but I still have them around my head just in case I do use them.

Also, if you've read a11 of this, uh, yeah! Thanks! And you're welcome. ???

#long post #ask agu

[major-fukkup]

1, 3, 22, and 23

1. What song makes you feel better?

Honestly, it depends on my mood. I tend to feel better when I listen to songs that reflect my current mood - sad songs make me feel better when I'm depressed, happy or upbeat songs give me a good feel when I'm happy, and, well, heavy metal helps me relax when I'm agitated or angry.

However there is one song I have never been sad while listening to - Good Time by Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen. It always gives me a great feeling inside although... if I'm being honest, I have never actually listened to it while depressed so I don't know how much better it might make me feel. I have specifically avoided doing that because when I'm depressed I prefer to let my emotions out (provided I'm alone and in a safe space) rather than try to force myself to change moods when there's no one around to make me feel bad for having feelings. Mainly because I think suppressing my emotions for all those years is a big part of why my head is so fucked up today! But, I'm not here to talk about that. XD

Also Raining Blood by Slayer.

Y'know what fuck everything I just said Goodbye Forever by Volbeat is The Song™️. It makes me feel good when I'm sad and better when I'm happy, and it's got that vibe that relaxes me when I'm agitated too. So yeah. That one.

3. What's your favorite candle scent?

I'm not really familiar with a lot of candle scents - I don't own any as I don't exactly have the money to buy them or the space to keep them - but I have gone candle-sniffing with a friend a few times and we'd usually smell all of them so I don't really remember any specifically except the one I used to have, which was honeysuckle. I bought it at the time because I find the scent comforting - it reminds me of home. Wherever that may be.

22. What would you say to your future self?

Bro, you don't have to remember where you came from. You can let it all go and never look back. Just don't forget where you're going, and don't forget the lessons you learned along the way.

23. Favorite piece of clothing?

Hmm, you know what? I'm going to say my favorite piece of clothing is probably my Death Note hoodie. It's the best of everything - it's soft and warm and feels like wearing a hug, it's big enough to hide the things I don't like about my body, it makes me feel very secure, and IT'S A GRAPHIC HOODIE FOR PETE'S SAKE NOT TO MENTION FROM A MEDIA FRANCHISE I REALLY LIKE. What's not to love??? And, well, to be honest it gets me a lot of compliments, not that I'm overly concerned with what others think of me. But it does make me really happy when people start talking to me about Death Note just because of the hoodie.

"IS DEATH NOTE YOUR FAVORITE ANIME" yup.

"HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE" don't get me started.

"WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER" Ryuk of course.

And this week it was "IF YOU LIKE DEATH NOTE YOU SHOULD WATCH CHAINSAW MAN" awesome, thanks. I've been hearing about it recently and wasn't really sure if it would be my thing (ADHD decides, I don't) but now I will definitely watch it.

Anyway I'll wrap this up now, it got long (and dark lol I'm sorry) and I probably should have deleted most of it because reasons but then again the ask game is about getting to know a person. XD

#thank you for the ask! #srsly dw I'm OK lol #not me trauma dumping that was not supposed to happen #the more I add the more awkward it's going to be so #I'll stop now lol #ty

[lesbian-vmin]

I don't know if I'm delusional. Between the songs Winter Bear, Sweet Nght, and Blue and Gray have the same impression. Tae is confiding or chatting with someone before his sleep. Am I wrong? If you don't mind. can you make an analysis about this.

Ah, I really try to avoid doing song analyses because I don’t want to make assumptions that could be a far stretch from the truth. I’m more than happy to analyze a song that’s confirmed for one reason or another, but I try to stay away from ones that haven’t been confirmed for any specific purpose.

Winter Bear and Sweet Night are both songs that I’ve thought of as Vmin songs already, in a theoretical mindset (since they’re not confirmed). As for Blue and Gray, this one goes on a different level for me. 

Because I do want to talk about the songs (and this ask gives me an opportunity to do so), I’ll do you the service of providing you with a real answer, but not without a disclaimer. So. This all just in theory. I’m not concluding the songs to have these meanings for sure, and I’m not confirming them as Vmin songs (because that’s not my place, obviously). But nor am I trying to convince anyone that they are Vmin songs. For the purpose of this analysis (as this is a blog that focuses on vmin) I will be treating them as such. Disclaimer disclaimer. Etc. Thank you. (Sorry. I’m sure the average reader knows all of this, but some people take things too seriously, as if they think people can’t speculate and have to believe every word they say. As if human minds aren’t complex. As if science would have progressed to us knowing we revolve around the sun without people questioning face value but okay)

(BELOW THE CUT)

WINTER BEAR

So, it’s pretty obvious this song means a lot to Jimin. He’s always pretty supportive of Taehyung’s songs, but this song seemed to really mean a lot to him. I’m not sure why? What is so different about this song compared to Taehyung’s other songs? Maybe it’s just his favorite? Or maybe there’s a reason it’s his favorite. I’ve wanted to do an analysis on this for a while, but I try not to go on assumptions on this blog, and I also wouldn’t know where to begin. But one thing is clear. This song holds a special place in Jimin’s heart.

One theory that I’ve seen of this song is that it could be about Taehyung’s grandmother, as it was apparently released on the third anniversary of her death (I didn’t know which day exactly she passed). Anyhow, I don’t think Taehyung has talked publicly that that’s the meaning of the song (and people assumed 4 o’clock was about his grandmother as well, even after Namjoon confirmed it was about a friend). 

I do, however, recall seeing a vlive where he said the song was inspired by a movie. And I’m thinking it was a romantic film. About a romantic love. (I will link it here if I find it again, but edit this if I’m wrong.)

Out of respect for his grandmother, and the possibility of the song having to do with her, I wanted to acknowledge that as one of the possible meanings. But, again, for the purpose of this ask, I’m focusing on the Vmin connection. (And the fact that I’m pretty sure Taehyung said it was inspired by a romantic film...but I might even have the song in which he said that about mixed up).

Anyway, I think the lines you are referring to is where he says “you sleep so happily. I wish you a good night”

Taehyung and Jimin seem like they often talk to each other when they have trouble sleeping. They even sleep together often (on camera, and because of Taehyung casually mentioning how he asked Jimin to sleep with him off camera -- and that one time Jimin said Taehyung came to his room after he had a nightmare, when he gifted Taehyung the dream catcher -- I’m going to say it’s probably safe to assume it’s normal for them to sleep together off camera, too).

SWEET NIGHT

When Sweet Night was released, I really got some pretty strong gay love vibes from the song. It could be because I, myself, am gay. But the song always sounded to me like it was two best friends who would sleep together (sharing the same bed, not in a sexual way) and one of them (Taehyung) wakes up one day feeling more. I always imagined that he woke up with the person he’s singing about next to him, but I could be wrong. Anyway, that’s the part that got me feeling it was a gay love song. Because, assuming it’s about Jimin, it’s pretty normal for them to sleep together. They’ve shared a room for a long time, and they often shared beds. It’s not so normal to sleep with your opposite sex best friend, waking up next to them. Unless you have a friends-with-benefits type thing. I guess. But even then, isn’t it a general rule that you don’t actually stay the night?

Another reason this song felt more gay than straight to me was the general confusing Taehyung is expressing. I’ve mentioned before that BTS is well aware of LGBT, but it doesn’t mean it was always like that. I think they became aware of a lot of things as they got older (like many of us do). Also, if both Taehyung and Jimin are gay, it probably took a while for them to admit it to each other.

Romantic movies set aside, I think it’s pretty rare for straight people to have such deep feelings for each other (or someone) and be totally unaware of it. Realistically. This is all going on my own experiences, but most of the straight couples in my life didn’t have to talk to each other for several months before they officially started dating. The gay couples? It was always really frustrating to watch them come to terms with their feelings for each other. Especially when one or both of them weren’t totally comfortable with who they were yet. 

Romantic movies will sometimes tell you a different tale, but they’re movies. And when they do tell a different tale, it’s usually a girl liking a douchy guy instead of her sweet best friend, only to end up with her bestie in the end.

Anyway, let’s talk about the talking while going to sleep part. This to me sounds like the two friends are lying in bed together (or maybe sitting). The one singing (Taehyung) has a lot going through his mind, and his heart is pounding. It sounds like him talking to this person this night is actually a confession. He woke up one day feeling different toward this person he was sleeping next to, and on some other night, he gets all of it off of his chest. I’ve seen a lot of people say that this is the story of a love that never happened, but I don’t see it that way. I think it’s an inconclusive story about a confession being made. We don’t get to hear the resolve.

Assuming it is a Vmin song, I think the resolve is a good one. Because I just think that Jimin would be pretty uncomfortable if Taehyung was writing romantic songs about him and publishing them, knowing that Jimin doesn’t feel the same.

BLUE AND GRAY

For anyone who doesn’t know, this is included on the list because it was initially supposed to be on Taehyung’s mix tape. It’s just that BTS liked the song so much, and he’s not selfish, so it became a BTS song instead.

This one, he’s looking for an angel because he’s having trouble sleeping. He mentions sending his words up into the air, and he falls asleep at dawn.

This song talks about some deeper issues like anxiety and depression, and it’s a song that’s really personal to him. I think the members probably know a lot of the story behind the song, and they probably know a lot about Taehyung’s struggles that led to this song. I think that’s why they liked it so much and wanted it to be part of the album instead of his own song.

I don’t necessarily feel right making this song about a ship, because it’s clearly very personal and talks about some issues Taehyung has had to deal with. However, his members (and his family, and I’m sure other friends) are his support system. (As well as the fans, ofc). He’s called Jimin an angel before, and we know that they often text or call each other when they have trouble sleeping. I’m not going to say that this song is about Vmin, but if Taehyung honestly has a lot of anxiety and worries while trying to go to sleep, I’m glad that he has Jimin to support him. It’s nice to have that friend who is always there for you, especially at times like that when you really need them. Maybe Jimin is the angel in the song. I don’t know.

#answered #anonymous #vmin #vmin analysis #koala answers #vmin songs

[resinatingbeauty]

A 'Witch Shop' Owner's Plea Before Casting That Love Spell

I don't personally offer many spell kits, mojo bags, etc. In my shop and avoid selling my 'Craft', as in, I don't advertise or list spell casting among my offerings, though I have had a couple of customers specifically ask if I could perform a spell I offered as a kit on their behalf for whatever reason. This is because I personally believe that the journey is just as important as the destination in witchcraft and many of the spell kits / spells I do offer are designed in such a way to soothe, relax, release, and heal throughout the process. Honestly, in addition, I really don't want the responsibility associated with performing magick on someone else's behalf for many reasons. The strength of my intent is not going to be as strong as yours, for example. Even if I effectively channel your energy, creating that personal connection between the beneficiary and the intent or purpose of the spell work is incredibly difficult at a distance. I'm always wary of other shops advertising this type of service- the sad truth of the matter is our little niche has been permeated by scammers, con artists, and frauds looking to take advantage of anyone looking for a solution to whatever it is that has them at this low point in life. I will tell you, more often than not it's love spells that the customer is after, and they are apt to find many options on Etsy, the platform I primarily do business on, and beyond.

I distinctly think of one potential customer who had contacted me one night obviously very upset. My heart went out to her immediately - I could just tell by what she was saying and how quickly she responded to me that she was in a state of panic and extreme emotional distress. She isn't the only one, but she stands out from the others as her desire to win back her ex lover was so strong it was evident that she would do anything and (potentially) pay anything for a chance to get things back to the way they were in her love life.

I am a human being. I have been given this amazing opportunity to pursue my passion to share my creations and spiritual / metaphysical knowledge with the world through my work. I understood a long time ago that this also meant I had a responsibility to do my best to help those in need and never knowingly harm, much like a doctor commuting to the Hippocratic oath. This may make me a flat out horrible business woman, but I would rather not sell someone on something I don't believe is going to help their situation. In fact, love spells usually make things worse. I'll get to that momentarily.

"Is there a spell to make her see what she has done wrong and to make her love and want me again?"

I allowed this customer to explain to me the situation and took the time to hear her out after telling her that I'm sure that she could find something like that elsewhere and someone else willing to sell her a spell kit or cast that spell, but I urged her to take a deep breath and talk to me before she did something that she would regret.

Thankfully, she spent the next hour or so explaining her situation and elaborating on everything that has happened in her relationship. It was one of those on again / off again things that so many of us get trapped in. Understandable, considering once you establish that strong bond of love, whether one sided or not, it's incredibly hard to cut that cord and move on especially if you're so emotionally invested (and maybe even financially invested) in this other individual who has had your heart for so long you can't imagine giving it to anyone else.

This PSA goes out to the broken hearted of all walks, as this is a universal experience for anyone who has been in love. There may not be someone to stop you from pursuing what you think will fix everything as I did for her, but I'm hoping if you read this, you'll think twice about acquiring and performing love spells or any magick in hopes that it will provide a quick fix to any situation.

•Beware the Opportunistic Con / Scam

Our field is flooded with scammers, con artists, and frauds that exclusively cater to those in this sweet girl's position and anyone who is vulnerable due to emotional distress or panic. Whether you need a love spell like she did to win back her ex or a quick fix to get more money in the bank or what have you, beware those that have used spiritual advisory and witchcraft as a means to peddle you their high priced garbaged. This is a tough one, as you may have a hard time deciphering what is 'legit' and what isn't, but there are some signs and facts you can look for when browsing these shops / websites.

-They promise / guarantee results within a specific or unrealistic time frame

Magick takes time to manifest and the true story is that nobody has a 100% satisfaction guaranteed spell book. More often than not, when spells come to fruition, it often isn't quite the way you would expect it to, either. Anyone promising a quick fix to anything is most likely just trying to take advantage of you when you are vulnerable and you better believe there will be no money back guarantee if said garbage doesn't work for you. OR, they like to do one of these:

-"Oh, your situation is worse than I thought. You're going to need this and this, with a huge $$$$ price tag."

This starts a never ending cycle of you pouring money into this scammer who will make you believe that it is necessary to do so. That maybe if you did throw them an extra $500 for their thingamajig that you will get what you want. This is only the beginning, as when THAT doesn't do it for you the way you would like, they will claim some other interference, maybe you're cursed or under psychic attack, and need something else even more expensive and elaborate to take care of that before you can even get to what you went to them for in the first place. Anytime someone proposes this type of thing, stop while you're ahead and don't provide them with a guaranteed cash flow that you aren't benefitting from at all. Also, be wary of ANY seller who makes outrageous claims- overnight changes, curing cancer, etc. Are unrealistic expectations.

•Understand What You Truly Need

Maybe it's time to consider an alternative path. The customer I spoke about DID ultimately purchase a tarot spread, which I was much more inclined to do for her than some love spell to win back this girl who has repeatedly broken her heart over the past few years and obviously got a kick out of it, the way she told it, as it was ALWAYS her doing the breaking up and blocking, starting all the drama. I told her I would much rather give her a spell to find her twin flame / soul mate than to win this person back who has perpetually been hurting her and taking advantage of her kindness.

Sometimes it's time to cut the cord before more damage is done. I understand it isn't easy to move on from someone you have loved and cultivated a relationship with over a long period of time, regardless of the negative energy that has invaded the relationship, we DO tend to focus on the positives, which leaves us a bit biased and blind to what we could have and deserve to have.

Take a moment if you are in a relationship situation like this, are beginning to question your current relationship, or are considering taking the next step in any relationship. Sit down with a pen and paper. On one side of the paper, write down all the things you love about that person. All the ways you think they have been the light in your life (be honest and give credit where credit is due!). Now on the other side, list the negatives or cons in your relationship. If one list is noticeably longer than the other, depending on which side it is, it may be time to consider breaking it off, giving things another shot, or taking things to the next level. Ask yourself;

-Do they support me in what I do, even if they don't understand or necessarily agree with it? (So long as it is something healthy -obviously if they're supportive of a bad habit or detrimental behavior, this is more like enabling and not a good thing)

-Do they have my best interests at heart more often than not?

-Do they show that they care? Even in the smallest of ways?

-Could I call them my "best friend?" Am I honest with them?

-Are they honest with me?

-Do they lift me up more than they put me down?

-Do you want the same things in life / have similar priorities?

-Is our relationship valuable to them the same way it is to me?

•LOVE SPELLS NEVER WORK THE WAY YOU WANT

This is the cold hard truth about love spells. Forget the warnings in movies and books, as it is hard to believe them or even take them as a legitimate warning when you haven't had the displeasure of experiencing what a love spell can do for yourself. I have, so you don't have to. This is MY story:

Of course love spells are very appealing when you're a young and naive teenager. I had a strong crush on this guy I had low key been stalking since middle school. I don't know why I liked him so much. Part of it I'm sure was the way he looked (hey, I'm being totally honest!) And how he came across to me. We had absolutely no interaction with each other outside of passing each other in the hallway. He had no idea who I was.

I had just borrowed a copy of Silver Ravenwolf's 'Teen Witch' (which is honestly a fantastic book for teens and young adults just starting to delve into Wiccan practices, which she follows exclusively) from a friend of mine and thought I would try the super simple love spell in the book figuring I had nothing to lose. All it consisted of was focusing on the subject, your intentions, writing their name on a piece of paper, folding it up and placing it under your pillow. I would sleep on that paper for months. I was in middle school just about to go into my freshman year of high school when I performed the spell and would forget about it up until the day it worked, a few months into my freshman year of highschool, when my crush was in the graduating class of that year- literally my last chance to make an impression.

I had gone to a local band's concert that was performing at the school's auditorium one day after classes and was just about to leave when my crush randomly approached me and started talking to me. It was like the whole world just stopped right there. I couldn't believe it. The thought of that spell crossed my mind briefly as we exchanged phone numbers.

Over time and getting to know him, he admittedly wasn't exactly my type. He was still someone whose friendship I valued, but not someone I could really put any effort into dating. About the time I realized this, his personality took a complete 180° turn for the worst. He was stalking me. Blowing up my cell phone (which was a prepaid piece of junk at that time I really couldn't talk on for more than a minute without paying a fortune), so much so one evening when I was at Jukido Jujitsu practice that I came home to something like 32 missed calls and 17 voicemails from him, each one showing gradual frustration and anger. This scared me. I knew I had to confront him about it and break this off before it got worse.

I caught him in a populated area of the school the next day before homeroom- more like he came up to me out of nowhere like he knew I would be passing through that part of the school that day- and I confronted him about the calls,attempting to gently explain to him that I wasn't interested in a relationship and I would like to continue being friends. He blew up at me and threw me against the brick wall of the school, trying to kiss and touch me in front of every single person that walked by. I wish I was making this up.

Thankfully a teacher came and pulled him off. Nothing much else was done. I did my best to avoid him and cut him out of my life entirely from that point on.

I don't know if it was the love spell or if this would have occurred anyways. All I knew was that what had been originally a very sweet, big hearted guy that was soft spoken with low self esteem became a monster in a matter of weeks. The take away from this and what I have personally seen with other's experiences with love spells is that they tend to bring out the worst characteristics of the person they are cast on and you have to be really careful what you are actually asking for when thinking about 'desire' and 'passion.' This intent can quickly lead to stalking, obsession, and not in a good way. Another customer of mine who originally came to me for my Forgiveness Spell Kit and had the desired results also, unbeknownst to me, had someone else perform a love and desire spell in addition to it. The guy that she was reverted into an obsessed jerk who decided to spread rumors about her on social media and beyond, blocked her on all platforms, and would get her friends involved in his quest to make her life miserable. Her story reflects and embodies so many I have heard over the years from others who have dabbled in such spells. When they work, it's just never quite what you had in mind.

So if you came to this blog post in search of a love spell for your personal situation or came across it when you have maybe considered one in the past or know someone who has, please take a deep breath, consider your options, and don't do anything that you may regret down the line. Remember that you are deserving of all the love, respect, support, and happiness one could give another. Do not settle on someone who offers you less and expects more, no matter how much you have invested in them, no matter how many years you have spent with them, as they do not appreciate you for the amazing person you are. I can promise you, however, given some time to heal, you WILL find someone who does.

-Samantha

(Owner /Chaos Witch/Designer)

Blursedbaubles.etsy.com

#this is a psa #text post #witchcraft #long reads #love spells #tarot readings #handmade #witchy stuff #spell kit #spell craft #spiritual advice #spiritual advisor #witches of etsy #witches of tumblr #witch #beginner witch #small business #caution #love magick #wiccan #ecletic pagan #paganism #wicca #witchblr #witch stuff #magick #spells #spell #love #advice

[delusion-of-negation]

agazafsgsvsg Yeah the Imagine Dragons thing was weird as fuck. I noticed that a lot of Korean movies an shows tend to just blast music literally every 5 seconds? Not even music necessarily related to the scene.

Also, can I ask, since you refered to the monsters in Sweet Home as zombies, does the adaptation not have the plot twist that they're human souls? I mean, it's not 100% in the source either, but at one point, Hyun's monster tells him that he thought long and hard about what he is, about what they all are, and realised that they are souls who became disillusioned with the way humans lived their lives. It's never specified if this is actually the truth or just a conclusion Hyun's "soul" came to, but it's the closest thing to an explanation in the source.

Honestly as I said, I don't think that Netflix's Sweet Home is bad by itself, but I personally just prefer my adaptations to be following the source very closely and it's honestly my pet peeve when they don't, which is the reason why I usually avoid adaptations if I can help it. Like the only issues I'd have if Netflix's Sweet Home was an original series would be A) the nearly omnipresent oddly chosen music B) some of the pacing C) a few characters are very hard to tell apart for someone who has major problems recognising people

I'd recommend the webtoon, but the downside is that apparently Webtoon (I actually visited it only once, several years back to read some horror anthologies and then came back only at the start of the year to read Sweet Home) now has a daily pass for all its works. And Sweet Home has 141 chapters. For free, you can read 1 chapter a day. So naturally, because I'm a totally patient person, who knows what to do with money, I sunk 20 dollars into it. Which I guess is not that bad when you realise that one volume of AoT costs about 17 dollars here. The author is also working on a prequel now (or at least it's advertised as a prequel), called Shotgun Boy, and so far it's also pretty good. His works in general slap, he also made Bastard and PIGPEN. I've never read the latter but I'm reading Bastard, and it's pretty obvious that it was an early work of the author, but it isn't bad.

And yeah, I really did like La Nuit A Dévoré Le Monde. I've also never met anyone else who did lol. I watched it with my family (as per usual) and everyone was like "Nothing is happening there. This film sucks ass."

I didn't really mind Bird Box but tbh I also didn't exactly expect a masterpiece when I decided to watch it. I'd say it was average, I've definitely seen worse but I've also seen much better films in terms of pretty much everything. And if I can be honest, the sound design in most modern movies is horrendous. I don't know when everyone decided to put out films with the worst goddamn mixing and sound design in general but they sure did. I have yet to witness a mainstream film made after about...2015 maybe? that doesn't feel like sandpaper against the ears.

I said they weren't zombies, not that they were. they're people who are turning into monsters because of overwhelming emotions. 

like I said, I don't really feel like going into all of my gripes with Bird Box, sound design and major plot holes and bad pacing were the main ones... also that the creatures are just so badly put together, like they admittedly sacrificed any plotting for how they worked in favour of "they do what needs to be done for the theme" and that agitates me because it shows. it's not like something like Annihilation where the point is that the thing is beyond human comprehension but even so it is doing a relatively specific set of things, in Bird Box they're very much presented as understandable and motivated but what they actually do is dependent on what the plot says needs to happen right now. but the sound design drives me up the wall, they don't make use of the stereo to give direction in a scene where they're following a sound, and there's a scene with some windchimes and she follows that sound but they don't get any louder as she gets closer to them... it's like bro you had one job. 

[thechangeling]

Night blooming

Ok so remember when I said I was gonna write another wlw one shot about my OC and Thais Pedroso? Well I finally finished it. This is a sequel to Only Love. I reccomend you read that one first. It's on my Ao3. Also there are two Buffy references in here. If you catch them you get a cookie.

She was beautiful. Utterly stunning. Like a shining becon of angelic radiance and power. But what honestly made Thais so alluring was her kindness and selflessness. She was the kind if girl who held her heart out before her for everyone to see. You could see it in her smile, hear it in her laugh, you could see it reflected in her paintings.

Janessa was the kind of girl who had thought she had given up on the goodness of humanity a very long time ago. She had seen how cruel people could be first hand during her human life and even now as a vampire. Only now she had power to protect her and a dangerous appetite that was never full.

In theory maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe in theory a lot of Nessie's ideas were bad ideas. But after that kiss in her room. After Thais had slept in her bed and asked Janessa to sing to her. Nessie couldn't lie to herself anymore.

"So where are we exactly?" Thais asked, stepping of Janessa's motorcycle, eager to be done riding it. Janessa hadn't had a helmet available since she never road with one. Thais was shocked when she told her.

"Don't you need one?" She had asked her.

"Nope I'm dead remember? Plus vampires are pretty much indestructible unless-"

"Unless you get them in the heart," Thais had chimed in. She sounded as if she was reciting something taken directly from a textbook.

She probably was.

It was a little unsettling.

They had pulled up to what looked to be an abandoned building. It was dark and worn down, with crumbling broken edges.

"It's a surprise," Janessa answered playfully. Thais rolled her eyes good naturedly. Janessa laughed.

"Come on angel, dont you trust me?"

Thais deliberated this for awhile then finally nodded. "Ok fine, lead me to my death." She held out her hand for Janessa to take.

If Nessie was alive, her heart would probably be racing. She smiled in spite if herself and took Thais's hand.

Thais instantly tensed up. "By the angel you're cold!" She complained. Janessa rolled her eyes fondly.

"I am once again, reminding you that I'm a vampire," she pointed out. "Come on."

She led Thais towards the entrance of the building. Thais seemed to notice something of to the side and gasped excitedly.

"Look!" She pulled Nessie towards what appeared to be a patch of flowers. "Jasmines! They're night blooming!" Thais let go of Janessa's hand to pick one and handed it to her.

"Just like you."

A shadowhunter had just given Janessa a flower. A pretty girl had just given her a flower. Janessa needed oxygen. She didnt need to breathe but somehow she felt like she was suffocating.

Janessa felt really strange. She had been for weeks whenever she was around Thais. There were all kinds of new emotions that she wasn't really prepared to deal with. Nor did she want to.

Janessa shook it off. She reached forward and took the flower from Thais. Nessie felt her shiver slightly when their fingers touched. Thais was smiling at her, her expression was open and warm the same way it always was. Janessa wished she could be the same way.

She wished she knew how.

Janessa made an effort to stop gaping and smiled. "Thanks angel. It's beautiful." Thais shrugged.

"I know your probably not a flowers type of person-" she started, ducking her gaze shyly. Nessie shook her head adamantly.

"No shut up, I like my flower!" She protested jokingly. "And I actually am a flowers person, it's just that no one's ever given me them before." Thais smiled at her shyly, lifting her hand to push Janessa's hair back behind her ear.

"Me neither," she admitted. Nessie found herself instinctively leaning into her touch.

She was warm. Janessa grinned unselfconsciously for a moment before realizing she was showing her fangs. "Sorry!" Janessa exclaimed. But Thais appeared to be unfazed.

She shook her head smiling. Thais's eyes were shining like bright beautiful obsidian stones. Her fingertips felt soft against Nessie's skin. She gulped.

"I didn't even notice," Thais whispered.

Janessa held her gaze for a moment then remembered why they were there in the first place. She shook herself out of her stupor.

"Come on let's go inside." She took Thais's hand again and guided her towards the building. Thais groaned reluctantly, but still followed.

"I swear this is how horror movies start Nessie," she grumbled. Janessa laughed.

"Well if there's anything big and bad lurking in the shadows angel I promise to protect you," she teased.

"Oh please I'll be the one protecting you. I'm the one with combat training."

"Yeah but I'm the one with the scary teeth," Janessa countered playfully. Thais rolled her eyes and allowed Nessie to lead her into the building.

It was crumbled and run down with weeds growing out in every direction, but when they finally made it down to the center wall, Thais gasped.

The entire wall was covered in street art. More specifically street art like looked like it belonged in Brazil. At least according to pictures Janessa had seen.

"Oh by the angel, it's beautiful!" Thais exclaimed. "It looks just like the stuff in São Paulo!" She traced her fingers across the bumpy cement. "I used to paint like this sometimes."

Janessa raised an eyebrow. "You mean spray paint?" She asked skeptically. "I have a hard time picturing a shadowhunter doing graffiti art for some reason." Thais laughed and it made Janessa want to laugh as well.

"Yes I could see why you would think that," Thais admitted, the smile leaving her face. Shadowhunters usually aren't encouraged to pursue the arts. But I love it." Thais turned away from Thais and continued tracing the outline of one of the drawings. Nessie followed her as she walked.

"When I was a kid, everytime I would be super excited and happy and have a ton of energy, I used to run around and destroy the house by drawing all over the walls. At the time the consequences, or the concept of right and wrong, wouldn't faze me," Thais explained. She sounded a little nervous to be telling Janessa this.

Janessa carefully walked up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder, gently spinning Thais around to face her. "Why not?" She asked.

Thais looked haunted. "Because I didn't realize what I was doing at the time. I didn't know and I don't know why. Sometimes I have these moments where I just get really depressed and heavy for no reason and I dont leave my bed for days and other times it's like I'm on top of the world and I feel like I'm floating on clouds until I run out into traffic and nearly get run over," she murmered. She was avoiding Janessa's gaze.

Thais shook her head as if she was clearing dust from it. "Anyways the point is, spraying and painting has always helped me feel better. More human. One of the things I hate about shadowhunters is there's so much focus on death and violence and war," she said bitterly. "We're trained that our emotions are distractions. To feel is to be weak, and stuff like art, music or dancing, they're made from feelings. I think that's why shadowhinters are persuaded not to pursue them."

Thais sighed, glancing back over to the wall of street art. Janessa stayed silent, allowing Thais time to think.

Thais turned back to look at Janessa her eyes were shining again as she smiled slightly. "But I mean, who wants to live in a world without feelings?" She asked, stepping closer to Janessa.

Nessie was suddenly hyper aware of Thais's proximity to her. Her lips were curved and full and soft looking. She could remember their first kiss quite vividly, the way Thais tasted, the feeling of her warm body pressed against Janessa's.

The smell of Thais's blood overwhelming her.

Nessie reached out and cradled the sides of her face, rubbing her thumb against the edge of Thais's cheekbone. "You're right," she whispered in response to Thais's earlier statement. "There's nothing without feelings." Janessa lowered her head so that their lips were almost touching, paused for a moment to see if Thais would back out, and when she didn't, Nessie kissed her slowly.

Janessa heard Thais's heart sped up the same way it did the first time they kissed. She smiled slightly and deepened the kiss, pushing her tounge against Thais's as she felt Thais grip her arms tighter, pulling against the buckles on Nessie's leather jacket. She continued to kiss her feverishly pushing Thais's hair back. It was incredibly thick and curly, so Janessa couldn't really run in fingers through it very well.

Nessie ran her arms down Thais's shoulders to her waist and Thais made a squeaking type noise and jumped back.

"Cold Nessie!" She cried out. Janessa laughed.

"Aw I'm sorry angel. You're just gonna have to get used to it," she cooed. Thais playfully rolled her eyes.

She was silent for a moment then, studying Janessa carefully with her dark eyes. "You know it's interesting," she mused. "I used to believe that vampires couldn't feel things like love and compassion." Janessa narrowed her eyes.

This was a strange thing to be admitting on their first date but sure, why not?

"But then I heard you sing," Thais continued. "I heard you sing and it was so beautiful. Not just because you're good, because you are very good. But because you sing with so much passion and emotion," Thais exclaimed. "And that's when I knew that I was wrong, and that I care about you."

Janessa couldn't help but grin. "God you are so cute," she giggled.

Thais shrugged. "I'm not that cute. Also another thing happened that night when I saw you perform that I thought you should know about," she said innocently.

Nessie was curious. "What?"

Thais smirked in a way that was very not angel like. "I'll tell you once we get back to the institute." Janessa bit her lip to avoid letting out a moan.

"Well fuck then snap some pictures of the wall and let's get out of here," Nessie exclaimed, rushing towards the exit. Thais laughed and raced after her.

"Its fine. We can always come back," she pointed out. "Maybe this could be our special place."

Janessa felt another overwhelming rush of feeling overtake her. She tried not to let it show.

'Yeah," she answered, feeling light and fluffy and on top of the world, just like Thais had described before.

Just be careful, a voice inside her said. Make sure you don't go running out into traffic.

Keep your guard up Nessie.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just for frame of reference, this is my idea of Janessa.

@eutony-in-whisper @swordwifes @ti-bae-rius @dianasarrow @stxr-thxif @thelandunderthehilll @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @talia-lightwood

#twp #the wicked powers #tsc #Kaitlin's oc #Thais Pedroso #wlw #kaitlin'swriting

[tthael]

Hi, english is not my first language so if I don't make any sense you know why. I'm sorry if i gave you the wrong impression with my ask.I've never read the book so "the shape" of these characters for me personally comes from the movie where Richie is gay. I've recently found out that people that read the book consider him bi. That's why when i read a fic where it's not explicitly stated i always wonder. I saw that you have a tumblr so i was like why not ask.

Hi nonny! Thank you for coming back to clarify, I’m sorry for the defensive tone of my response. Thank you very much for reading my stuff. Nothing about the phrasing of your question was what made me respond that way, just the topic, because I know it’s a hot button issue in fandom at the moment. Nobody wants to be responsible for erasing a sexual minority or a canonical sexual identity--and while in the book Richie’s sexuality is only coded, I’ve been told that André Muschietti explicitly stated that the film portrayal of Richie is gay. So of course, I think that film!Richie is portrayed as gay, and if I were to write Richie based on the film alone, I most likely would write him as gay.

The thing is, I don’t really write exclusively film!Richie. I think that there’s a very rich vein of characterization to be found in the book, which is of course door-stoppingly long, and compared to the limited amount of screentime the movies could spend on each of the Losers, not to mention the changes to their backgrounds the films made (looking at you, tween!Ben who suddenly morphs into adult!Mike), I like to pull from the greatest evidence pool available. That’s why I like to include the teenage werewolf, I like to include Stan’s bird book of North America, I like to include Eddie’s fascination with cars and trains and other mechanical transportation, I like to include Bev’s mother as having been alive during Bev’s childhood, I like to include Ben’s outrunning the track team out of spite, I like to include Bill’s uncanny charisma and his compelling nature, and I like to include Mike with a kinder more curious childhood than he’s allowed in the film. Also, I studied literature in college and I’m just more comfortable with analyzing that than I am analyzing film.

I also really liked the film casting for the adult Losers! It’s very shallow of me but I like how they look, I think they’re all very attractive, and I’m more interested in writing with their physicalities in mind than I am in, say, the actors for the 1990s miniseries. This is a personal preference, just because I myself do not enjoy Bill’s ponytail or Richie’s mustache or Bev as a brunette. I’ve also only ever seen clips of the miniseries. And honestly, I like Bill Hader as Richie in glasses, despite book!Richie wanting to wear contacts as an adult; I find without glasses I have difficulty perceiving him as the character. So I can’t claim to be a book purist--I like writing about the 2016 setting and those are mostly the faces of the Losers I see in my head. I tweak them sometimes--I don’t think I’ve written Richie with blue eyes yet, for example.

So I blend the canons when I decide what to draw on for the fic. That means that, for me, unless it’s explicitly stated, I probably don’t have an intention one way or the other when I write Richie’s sexuality. So far I’ve always written him as a man who loves men, and always as involved and in love with Eddie. I know that for some people that won’t be good enough, that for some people it’s very important to them to see their characters explicitly identify as one label or the other, but I’m afraid that just isn’t a priority for me in my portrayals.

This is informed by 2 things: 1) I like to write the Losers as 40-year-old adults in 2016, and we know that Richie produces a host of problematic content in his career. This of course shouldn’t mean that my portrayal of Richie /should/ be problematic and that’s not my intention--instead, I’m suggesting that when I write Richie, I write a lot about self-loathing and internalized homophobia, and so I focus a lot more on his attraction to men, which in my fic he’s usually not comfortable with, than any potential/past attraction to women. Of course I don’t feel that self-loathing is the necessary response to same-sex attraction, but I also think of the Losers as adults of a certain age who might not always be accurate or thoughtful in discussing the changing world of sexual identities (finding words for them specifically, filling the lexical gap).

I wrote a scene in Things That Happen After Eddie Lives where Richie runs across a gender non-conforming person and initially reads them as female, but then during the conversation remembers that isn’t always the case these days and switch to trying to avoid pronouns for them or trying to refer to them with gender neutral pronouns. But Richie and Eddie still call Jordan and Sarah lesbians, without asking whether they’re a romantic pairing of two bisexual people, or without considering that Jordan might be a man. Richie even wonders if “girlfriend” is being used romantically or platonically the way that women of previous generations do. I have a bead on Jordan’s and Sarah’s identity--but only because Jordan’s me! I think that, as a man born in 1976, growing up extremely closeted, and never engaging in the wider discussion around LGBTQ culture in a constructive way, Richie might be prone to simplification. This, of course, doesn’t mean I’m opposed to a Richie who openly identifies as strictly gay or strictly bi!

2) The second thing that informs the ambiguity of my portrayal of Richie’s sexuality is my own experience with my sexuality and gender. I am closeted in real life. In recent years I have tried a number of identities that, at the time, I believed to fit, but the labels were never clear-cut for me. I am coming to accept, slowly, that in the same way the physical body doesn’t grow to exact neat clean specifications, I might never be able to describe myself accurately and totally in one term. That’s all that I’m willing to share about my experience at this time. My personal philosophy is much like the one Eddie professes when he comes out in Indelicate: it doesn’t seem important to me that people know my preferences unless I’m a) sleeping with them or b) actively dating and trying to put myself out there.

Again, some people have completely different experiences! For some people being closeted is intolerable and having an identity--a word for what they are--really helps them self-actualize and live their truth! For some people, they’re very excited about their identity and participate in Pride events and take joy in asserting that this is who they are to the world! For some people, they never have the awareness that this or that idle feeling might mean they actually /don’t/ fit with how the world sees them. And while I’m a great advocate of self-exploration (comes of being vain as I am), some people don’t do that, and that’s fine!

I know that ambiguity is not a neutral answer when it comes to these questions. In the summer of 2019 when the Good Omens miniseries was released, many fans reached out to author Neil Gaiman asking for confirmation that the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley were gay. Gaiman said, “Theirs is a love story.” He said, “They’re not human and I can’t ascribe human sexual identity to them.” He said, “My coauthor is deceased and I can’t make such confirmations without him.” (These are not direct quotes and I don’t have sources, I’m sorry, it’s been a year.) This was not satisfactory to all parties. For some people explicit confirmation of that gender identity is important. And why shouldn’t it be? Their own is important to them.

But I’m from a school of literary analysis where I welcome different interpretations of my works, which are in this case of course derivative and dependent on evidence from the canons I draw on. I write Richie in love with Eddie, and that’s enough for me. If it’s not for the reader, either I feel there’s ample room to interpret my Richie the way they prefer--not just limited to gay or bi! After the first sex scene in TTHAEL Richie is stunned by how he enjoyed that far more than any other sexual encounter he’s ever had, and I think that’s welcome to interpretations of Richie with demisexuality /or/ Richie just finally having fulfilling sex with a man because he’s gay or bi /OR/ Richie has had good sex before but this was just WAY better because he likes sex better when he’s in love with his partner. And every portrayal of Richie I write is slightly different, so Richie from Indelicate might have different sexual attraction/orientation than Richie from Automatic - Mechanical - Pneumatic or Richie from TTHAEL. BUT I don’t want to say that my interpretation is the only valid one--just know that when I write Richie, I write him as a man in love with another man. If I were to write a story about Richie involved with someone other than Eddie, I would tag for it up front.

Again, I know this is a very long answer and probably not as concise or clear as you might like it to be. Thank you so much for coming back around to explain your logic, I apologize for my wariness the first time around, thank you for asking these questions in good faith. “Why not ask” is of course the simplest way to settle an issue and I don’t want to discourage anyone from asking me questions about my fic. If there are other things you have questions about, please don’t hesitate to ask, either here or by sending me a private message, I  don’t mind either way.

#my fic #things that happen after eddie lives #tthael #now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate #indelicate #nwigsmsi #automatic - mechanical - pneumatic #a-m-p #Anonymous

[echotunes]

Mental health

I opened up to my mum about my mental health problems today by telling her that I think I have anxiety. She basically didn't take me seriously and told me the things I told her were normal teenager things. Like m8 does having panic attacks and actively avoiding social situations sound normal to you?

Later, she asked me about it again and I explained that I identified with 99% of the things I'd seen on the internet about having anxiety. She said later she IS taking me seriously, but she doesn't think I need a therapist (even though I never mentioned visiting one). I haven't even started talking about my social anxiety, OCD and self-esteem issues/probably mild depression yet. I also learned a few days ago that sometimes not wanting to exist is also classified as being suicidal, so I can add that to my list of problems. (As if I didn't have enough already.)

Honestly, I can't tell whether this was a good move. It probably is good that I've started opening up about it, but the response I received wasn't exactly great and she's probably scared to talk to me now. She's treating me like I'm either made of glass or I'm a bomb that could go off at any second, I can't really tell. Also, she'll have told my dad, and I don't know how he reacted to it because I haven't interacted with him yet, but I'm expecting the same treatment from him.

My mum made this half-hearted suggestion about talking to my aunt or the 'trust-teachers' at my school. I honestly don't know. I don't know my aunt well enough to trust her with this and it'd be too awkward to actually do things with her in the future. And the problem with the teachers is that I know them from actual lessons, which also makes things kinda awkward. I really just want either a friend who I trust enough or someone who I don't know at all, but who'll keep their mouth shut about anything I say and might be able to give me advice. So basically, a therapist, yes.

Also, I made a WhatsApp status about being sorry for treating people so shittily today because I was honestly feeling really depressed and also slightly irritated at school, like I'd snap at anyone who even dared to talk to me, and was in constant sensory overload, which probably contributed to that. Two people answered asking whether I needed to talk, one of them not even being a close friend or anything, and honestly that's really nice coming from a person who I usually don't know for being empathetic. But I think he's gone through his own share of depression, so he probably guessed how I was feeling.

There's only two things that're actually making me happy these days. One of them is getting hugged by one of my best friends every (school) day - he probably doesn't know how happy it makes me, but it really helps me; even though I usually hate getting touched, it's sometimes the highlight of an absolutely miserable day.

The other thing is YouTube, specifically Dan and Phil and Thomas Sanders. Also, I got to order the "have the courage to exist" bracelet yesterday. It'll be nice to have a reminder on my wrist. And I'm getting the II movie for Christmas. And two posters. Thinking about it, I just need to drag myself through December and the rest of November until Christmas, because that's when I get my D&P merch, and that'll be great. One thing to look forward to for a fucking change.

Sorry for the long-ass post, but I needed to get this shit off my chest. If you actually read all of this, thank you. If you have any suggestions on how to deal with all this, please tell me. Even if you think it might be stupid, I still care.

Actually, while I'm on the subject, thank you to every single one of you reading this, because there's a high probability you're reading this because you follow me, and knowing there are 21 people who I don't know, but can still entertain - who don't follow me purely because "oh, this girl is at my school, I kinda know her" - is really motivating to me. Also, having attracted 52 people to my D&P Instagram fan account is also amazing.