#honestly the last time i felt this way about an album was when i listened to conventional weapons for the first time

[sunflowersoap]

back on my bullshit once again. thinks about how the headspace gangs reaction to starting to forget basil can probably tell you a lot about them.

for example, aubrey being EXTREMELY protective over that flower crown. her absolute rage at kel for kicking it off. her thinking "it used to belong to someone, we should return it." very similar to "how DARE basil ruin all our photos! they used to belong to all of us, and he throws us all out like we were nothing! he doesn't even care! he turned his back on all of us! on mari! she used to be here! she used to be a part of our lives! you think just because she isn't here you can just throw everything away? why don't you care? why don't you CARE?!"

her attachment to objects makes me think she values gift giving as a love language. this thing was so important to them, so I'll give it back. I'll give them this to show I care. this thing is special. it's not just an object to her, it's a physical display of their affection. so losing that object feels like losing the last bit of that love.

her being so intent on returning that flower crown even if it's broken and damaged. because someone loved it, so it must be special. her extreme protectiveness was still there, but now it was in a more destructive way. she's so protective of mari and her memory that she assumes the worst of everyone, because everyone pulling away and abandoning her or acting like everything was okay didn't just feel like a betrayal to her. she felt like they were betraying mari. that's why it pissed her off so bad when kel said think of how mari would feel. because oh, NOW you want to think of how mari would feel? NOW??

kel remembering the pictures also sticks out to me. he remembers basils words, even if his memories are so foggy. he has an attachment to those memories. this can also possibly tell us something about him. he doesn't hold on to objects as much as aubrey does, but those memories are everything to him. he listens, he holds all those moments so close to him. even when he's forgetting basil, he remembers all those little quirks he loves. he listened intently to basil, he cherished every single moment. he remembers his favorite things and why he does things and little details about him. even if he's forgetting the fact basil takes pictures, he remembers that they have pictures and WHY they were taken. his focus isn't really on the photo album in the real world. it's on the fact basil is sad and aubrey is so much different. his attachment isn't about the object. it's about the fact it means a lot to BASIL. that's why he wants it back. it makes basil happy. he doesn't understand why aubrey would do it, because his attachment was never to the album. it was "this makes basil happy and brings him joy. he loves this thing. he loves talking about it." so he memorized all his rambling about it. he isn't as attached to the album itself as aubrey is. it wasn't about the photos to kel, it was about spending time with basil. so to him, aubrey's anger seems irrational. it's honestly kinda like different love languages. hers is gift giving, his is quality time. so it doesn't make sense to him. it's basils thing. why would she steal it? it's his passion.

hero, if I'm recalling correctly, doesn't really need to be reminded of basil at the last resort. even while he's forgetting him more and more, he's keeping the group on task. he's bringing up the worry about forgetting things about basil. he looks out for basil. he's trying to keep the group positive. that's what he's trying to do. looking out for basil even when everything's becoming a blur. protecting him even when he isn't there. that's how you see heros love for basil manifest. protecting him. he jumps in to save basil with no hesitation. he tries to solve the fight between aubrey and basil. he looks out for basils health and safety. even if he doesn't know much about basil anymore, even if he's changing, he looks out for him. no matter how difficult it is, he protects him. because if basil can't protect himself, he'll do it. because basils his best friend and he loves him and he needs someone who looks out for him. if basil can't protect himself, he'll help as much as he can. even when he can barely remember him, he remembers he needs his help and THATS enough to keep going.

sunny? simple. he knows basil so fucking well. he knows basil talked to him about things he never talked to about anything else. he's terrified about something happening to basil, enough to have so many rooms of him dying horribly as worst fears. he feels like he can't save their relationship so he runs from it. he knows all of basils worst fears. he knows how trusting basil was of him. he knows how much basil cared about "who he thought he was" (despite what his mental illness makes him think, it's who he IS. not what he thinks he is.) he knows basil like the back of his own hand. he knows his worst traits, he knows his worst fears, he knows his pains and his insecurities and his guilt and his grief. THATS how sunny expresses care and his love language. knowing someone to that degree and listening.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I just think this game and the way different characters show love is very interesting.

#omori spoilers #omori #basil omori #omori basil #omori kel #kel omori #aubrey omori #omori aubrey #omori analysis #omori sunny #sunny omori #omori hero #hero omori

[megumimania]

WHY DONT WE FALL IN LOVE ? - jean kirstein

summary: you and jean are brought together by a shared love of music, is that all there is or is there something more below the surface?

warnings: jean x black!reader, fluff, jean is definitely an alt rock/ grunge enthusiast, jean and reader are down bad for each other but won’t admit it, ayesha and corinne win the award for best wing women, get you a man who truly cares, the format is weird my bad

a/n: this was written for @honeybleed’s 90’s rnb event! congrats naj, you deserve everything and more!!

it was another day at the record store, where you worked part time during the weekend. you loved your job, talking with customers and bonding over your shared love for music and records was one of the main highlights of your day. of course there were some customers who were rude and pretentious but you didn’t let that deter you from providing a good experience for your customers.

the faint sounds of dreams, fairytales and fantasies by asap ferg played in the background as you were organising new stock, humming the lyrics to yourself while doing so. you were so deeply engrossed in your task that you didn't register jean's presence near you. jean was one of your favourite customers, he was a world away from the regular customers that you were so accustomed to dealing with.

when you first met him, you immediately assumed that he'd be annoyingly pretentious, condescending and snarky—a characteristic you were used to seeing on the daily. but one day he came up to the counter while you were working and you absentmindedly had your finger ready to point to the 80’s rock section, not registering the look of confusion on his face.

"what are you pointing to?" he asked, brows furrowing in confusion. you felt your cheeks flame with embarrassment, “i just assumed that you-anyways how can i help you?" you replied with a smile, trying to break the awkward tension.

he looked around sheepishly, the tips of his ears flushing a faint pink. "uhh... honestly i don't know, do you have any recommendations?” he asked, with a level of shyness which you found quite cute.

his naivety to music/good records astonished you, considering he looked like a cross between a heavy nirvana fan and a country music enthusiast. after a long conversation with him, you gave him three albums to listen to, along with your number because you wanted him to tell you if he liked the songs or not.

since then you've developed a friendship with jean despite your two best friends/coworkers, ayesha and corinne saying otherwise. you’ve always denied it but lately, you’ve started to feel some type of way about him. suddenly you’ve began to notice his dimples when he smiles, the faint freckles he has on his face or how his eyes are more of a hazel colour in the sunlight—friends usually notice these things about each other right???

jean cleared his throat, snapping you out of your reverie. “y/n, you good?” he said, giving you a once over to make sure that you were okay. you felt your face heat up and you silently thanked god that he was unable to see you blush. “yeah i’m good.” was all you managed to reply with.

a minute of tense silence passed between you both, either of you waiting on the other to break the silence between you both. “can y’all stop eyefucking each other, you’re making me sick!” corinne yelled from the counter, scaring you both. the tips of jean’s ears turned a light pink from embarrassment.

“you left your bonnet and your scarf at my place the other week.” he said handing them over to you. “i’ve washed them for you, i’d thought you’d like that.” he said, the last part coming out quieter than intended. “we still on for saturday?” he asked, his gaze locked on yours, “yeah of course.” jean smiled before responding, “cool, i’ll see you then.” he walked off, waving you goodbye which you returned.

you tried to avoid ayesha and corinne for the rest of your shift but they cornered you as soon as you left work, dragging you to a nearby cafe. “so you and jean huh?” ayesha teased, taking a sip of her drink. you sighed and rolled your eyes, pretending to look interested in the menu in hopes that ayesha would drop the question.

“guys, i might order—hey!” you protested as corinne snatched the menu from your fingertips. “there’s nothing going on between me and jean.” you finally spat out after a moment of silence. “we’re just friends.” your friends shared a look that said they weren’t buying it. “so why was your bonnet and scarf at his house then?” corinne pressed further, and you genuinely felt like you were being interrogated for a crime you didn’t commit. “i slept over at his place, its not a big deal.” you said nonchalantly, drumming your fingertips on the table.

“we all saw the way you two were staring at each other, and you really want me to believe that you guys are just friends?” ayesha added, corinne nodding in support. “it’s okay to admit that jean thee pony has got you weak in the knees, you know.” you snorted at her nickname for jean. “i hate you guys.” you sighed, staring out the window dramatically. “and we love you too, y/n!” they said in unison, pulling you in for a hug.

“y/n, your white boy is here!” corinne shouted from the hallway. you were nervous, you’d spent an hour getting ready for today and you were still unable to quell the nerves in your stomach. you debated on taking a rain-check but decided against it. you quickly added the finishing touches to your hair and makeup and headed out. corinne gave you her thumbs up of approval as you left.

jean’s plan to act cool completely evaporated once he saw you. you were gorgeous in a way he couldn’t comprehend, he tried to maintain his composure but as always his face betrayed him, unable to hide the blush that spread across his face. “you look gorgeous, y/n.” was all he managed to sputter out. you were surprised that you had him fumbling over himself like this but you found it cute.

“you look great yourself.” you replied, taking him in. from the fresh trim, to his outfit, to the cologne he was wearing, everything about him made you feel giddy inside. “where are you taking me today?” you said, hopping into his car. his gaze lingered on you for a second before he cleared his throat, “its a surprise.” he said, sticking his tongue out at you whilst turning on the ignition.

the last few minutes of the car journey, jean told you keep your eyes closed. you eyed him weirdly, but did it anyway because you trusted him. his hand remained on the small of your back as he guided you to the destination. “are we there yet?” you asked, becoming increasingly impatient, he responded to you after a moment of silence. “open your eyes.” he whispered in a low voice sending chills down your spine.

you opened your eyes and you turned to him in disbelief “how did you—i’ve been trying to book a reservation here for ages, how!” jean placed his jacket on your shoulders, noticing the way you were shivering. “the owner is a family friend of mine, plus he owed me one.” he said coolly, trying to not make it seem like a big deal. “let’s go inside.” he took your hand in his leading you into the restaurant. the interior looked gorgeous with it being fairly modern as beautiful ceiling fixtures hung above you.

you were led to your table which was on a second floor that away from everybody else. jean pulled out your chair for you letting you sit down before he did. you opened the menu scanning it to see what appealed to your tastes. whilst you were busy trying to figure out the menu, jean kept stealing glances at you. he couldn’t help it, even when he was trying to read the menu, his eyes kept drifting back to you.

you grew shy under jean’s gaze and used the menu to cover your face. jean chuckled softly, gently putting down the menu to the side. “why are you hiding your face from me, beautiful?” your face heated up at the pet name. “you make me nervous, i cant help it.” you said feeling quite bashful, he took your hand in his, tracing light figures on your palm. “believe me when i say i’ve been nervous this whole time.” you both laughed at that, it helped to diffuse the awkward tension between you both knowing that you were both nervous as each other.

dinner flowed smoothly after that as you grew comfortable with each other again, the usual banter and jokes resumed and you truly felt at home with jean. apart from the silence that was shared when you were eating, you were talking non stop and even at times when you felt like you were saying too much, he looked at you with so much adoration, wordlessly telling you to keep going. you’ve never felt so relaxed during a date before it was weird not having to condense parts of you to seem likeable when it seemed that jean liked every part of you.

one of the reasons that you wanted to dine at the restaurant for so long was for its infamous beach views. the moon hung lowly in the distance as you and jean walked down the beach, hand in hand as you talked about everything and anything. he suddenly broke out into a sprint heading straight first to the water, you had no choice but to follow him. you shuddered as you walked into the cold waters trying to find him. jean pulled you towards him making you shriek as you felt his cold hands rest on your waist. “why did you do that!” you smacked his shoulder playfully, he laughed in response. “didn’t mean to scare you, beautiful.”

he pulled you even closer, you were now breaths apart which made the moment more intimate. “how can i make it up to you, hm?” he asked softly, his eyes boring into yours as he held you in his arms. “i think i know just the trick.” he smiled softly before he picked you up and pressed his lips against yours gently and for a moment the world disappeared around you leaving you and jean in your own bubble. his lips were surprisingly warm considering how cold his hands were. “you’re forgiven.” you smiled as you pulled away from him, brushing the wet strands of hair away from his face. “good, because i wouldn’t want to be on your hitlist.” he said, laughing as he finally carried you out of the water.

#jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein x black reader #jean x reader #jean x y/n #snk jean #aot jean #jean fluff #this was so fun to write #attack on titan x black reader #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan #aot x black!reader #jean lovers unite

[deathbxnny]

Hi there, So i was crying for about 10 minutes i think and decided to watch youtube to heal my heart until i saw something that just make me had a thought that is now spiraling out of control! Can i request a Trailblazer (Caelus and Stelle) x s/o like Traveler from Genshin Impact.

Yup, Im talking HSR MC X GENSHIN IMPACT MC alright 😀👍

So context on the Traveler s/o:

Them and their twin sibling are Emanators chosen by the Aeon Akivili and were given abilities to travel the galaxy without needing to ride the Astral Express. Throughout the galaxy, they were known as the Celestial Twins, as even after Akivili’s death, them and their sibling still continue to trailblaze until one day something happenend that cause them and their sibling to be forcibly seperated and have their abilities sealed. (Possibly caused by the Anti matter legion 👀)

So now stuck in a world by themselves, the traveler spent decades to get out of the world their stuck in. Which was hard as their abilities are now sealed. But one day, the Astral Express crew had just arrived in the world the traveler was stuck in and met with the traveler. The crew instantly knew that the traveler is one of the Celestial Twins and allowed them to join the Astral Express crew.

I wasnt lying that this idea had gone out of control and im honestly excited to see what your going to make with this request as i really really love your work. Hope you have good day!

- Flower Anon 🌸

-----♡

A/N: Hello again, Flower Anon! I love your idea and tried piecing something together for you and hope you'll like it! Thank you for the request and support!<33

((Also I was listening to "Powder", "Leeches" and "Light Shower" by Melanie Martinez whilst writing this btw... I'm obsessed with them and the new album-))

Content: Fluff, some angst, mutual pinning, traveler reader, potentially ooc characters?, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

》Stelle

Stelle immideatly felt drawn to you, when she heard of your fate and that you were joining the Astral Express too. She took it upon herself to be your guide and take you in the most, even if she was new herself. She was always quite confident in her choices and for some reason, she just felt like you were connected to her in a way.

So, it was no surprise, when she quickly fell in love with you as well. How could she not? She showed it through her determination to help you find your twin. And in turn, you helped her with figuring out who she was. It became a mutual thing, the emotions strong enough to make everyone notice the mutual attraction. It was just a matter of time, until you two confessed to eachother, really.

Stelle is very protective over you and gives it her all on the battlefield every time. Her confidence and strength makes her determined to keep you safe, even if you don't need it. She's even willing to get hurt, if it's for you. You can be absolutely assured, that she'll find your twin for you, even if it's the last thing she does.

-----♡

》Caelus

He emphasises with your situation and makes sure you feel as comfortable as possible on the Astral Express. He comforts you, when you're upset about your twin and reassures you, that he will help you find them again. He doesn't know, what it was, but he immideatly feels connected to you and just accepts it. He hopes, that it will get him closer to understanding who he is as well.

He's a little shy and nervous around you, once he realises that he had feelings for you. He's hesitant on acting on his feelings and only does so, once you show interest as well. He is bad at hiding his feelings however, as he does alot for you in and out of the Express. Whatever you ask of him, he'll obediently do.

He becomes quite aggressive, when it comes to your safety. It doesn't matter, if you can keep yourself safe or not, he'll do that for you too anyways. He's strong and knows it, but he becomes even more determined, when it comes to protecting you. Together, you two will surely find your twin in no time.

-----♡

A/N: Alright, so I hope this was coherent and okay for you! I'm sorry, if I got it wrong too, but I did my best! Thank you again for the idea and your support, Flower Anon! I appreciate you alot!<33

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader #hsr stelle x reader #hsr stelle #hsr caelus #hsr caelus x reader #hsr

[landosgirl97]

DCC - Jake Seresin Series

A/N: Welcome to the first chapter of DCC! This is written from Jake’s perspective! Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader!Reader x Jake “Hangman” Seresin

The last thing I expected when we got our leave after the uranium mission was for Rooster to ask me if I wanted to go down to Dallas with him. It’s not far from my home town, which is where I was planning to go anyway, but he didn’t seem like the Texas type to me. When I asked why he said he has family down there and he wanted to go to the Cowboys game. I honestly didn’t realize Rooster cared about football either but I guess he does. The absolute last thing I expected was to come back from my run in the morning and have one of the most attractive women I’ve ever seen on the couch with a toddler asleep on her chest. “Rooster, who in the world is this gorgeous woman and why have you not introduced us?” Rooster’s eyes shot to me, signaling for me to shush before he said, “One, this is my cousin, Y/N, she’s getting us into the event tonight and the game tomorrow night, and two, no. Absolutely not. You will not hit on her, you will stay away. For both of their sake.” I just smirked her way as she slightly waved and spoke softly, “You must be Hangman.. I’m Y/N. I’ve heard a lot about you, let me put her down in the bedroom so we can all talk.” She rose from the couch and went to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. My head shot over to Rooster, “there is no freaking way you two are related. She is.. woah. Bradley shook his head. “Nope. No, she needs better than to be another notch in your bedpost.” I just shrug, “who said I thought that?” Bradley shakes his head at me. “Also, how exactly is she getting us into the game? I looked earlier and it was sold out…” Rooster rubs the back of his neck before running his hands down his thighs. “Well..she has family passes.” I look at him, urging him to elaborate. He sighs, “she’s a cheerleader. I’m watching her daughter during the game.” I felt like my head was spinning. “She’s… a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader.. you- you’re joking.. right?” Bradley looked at me and shook his head. I could tell he was dead serious.

About that time, Y/N walked out of the bedroom and came and sat back down on the couch, checking her watch. She smiled at me before turning to Rooster. “Brad, I have to leave in like an hour for huddle and to get ready. Her bag is packed and on the bed, along with her outfit and shoes. Your passes to get in are in the side pocket of the bag.” He nods along as she speaks, giving his undivided attention to her. I cleared my throat before making my way to the chair opposite them. “I have nieces and nephews back home that are this age or around this age so I can help too.” I said cautiously. I watched her face light up and she sat closer to the edge of the couch looking at me. “You do? Do you have pictures? Honestly, it’s such a fun age and they’re all so cute!” I pulled my phone out, flipping to my album of them and letting her scroll through. “There may be a few videos in there of us but you can skip them, it’s just us being silly.” She nods, but I notice she plays some of them anyway. “You’re such a good uncle! They’re adorable!” I felt a blush cross my face as her phone rang. She stepped away to answer it and I looked a Bradley. “Dude.. she’s- she’s something else. My goodness.” I ran my hands through my hair and shook my head. Bradley glared at me. “Listen, I can’t watch her get hurt again. Just know that if you do something to upset her, I’ll have your head on a silver platter.” “I get it, I’ll go slow and she may not even be interested. I’ll go off of her cues.” Bradley nods and we drop the conversation as Y/N walks back in. She looks nervous. “What’s going on? You look anxious.” I asked, she smiled lightly at me, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and a leg under her body as she turned to Rooster. “Brad.. I know it’s your time off, but could you do me a huge favor?” Bradley nodded his head, “of course.” “So, one of the girls in show group is sick and I’m an alternate. They were supposed to have a performance and event at the VA hospital. It’s tomorrow morning.. and then I have the game could you watch her?” She lightly cringes at him. He raised his eyebrows, “well I have something going in the morning but I can resch-“ “I’ll do it!” I jumped in. Their heads turned to me in shock. “You will?!” I nod, “Yeah, I watch my niece and nephew all the time, I obviously have safety training from the Navy, and I’ll send you updates if you want.” She nods along as I speak and Bradley narrowed his eyes at me but turned toward her. “I’ll come by when I’m done in the morning and check on everyone.” She look at both of us and nods. “Okay, that’s perfect. I’ve got to get ready for the event. See you soon!”

#top gun maverick #top gun fic #hangman top gun #jake seresin #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin smut #jake hangman x you #hangman smut #top gun maverick hangman #jake hangman fic

[undead-supernova]

This Love is a Shrouded Mystery

Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 (TBC)

Masterlist

plot: welcome to your well-anticipated album release party! you couldn't be happier...right?

Pairings: modernrockstar!Eddie x fem!popstar!Reader (curvy!reader, bisexual!reader)

Warnings: bro there's so much angst I'm sorry, mention of smoking & alcohol

easter egg count: 20

wc: 5k

note: I made the album cover/tracklist and wrote all of the lyrics mentioned in this chapter and I'm super proud of it! Thank you for reading my hard work hehhehehehee

ALSO DO NOT REPOST THESE LYRICS ANYWHERE ! Thank yew

He hated all the tiny things.

The way you crinkled your nose every time The Beatles came on. How you held your acoustic guitar like it was a delicate creature. The nights he would be up late practicing, only to find you passed out with your mouth slightly ajar and snoring. The mornings he spent listening to you making little sounds in your sleep, as if you were so close to saying something but didn’t know how. Your poetry and your music and your scent and your stupid smile you got whenever you looked at him and how grateful he’d been when he first noticed. 

And he really didn’t hate it at all.

He just missed you.

It was fucking torture, being away from you. He sat up, night after night, wondering what you were doing. How you felt now. If you wanted him back. If he was better off without you. If you could ever speak cordially and what that would cost.

As if he truly cared about the answer or the consequences.

Eddie just missed you.

You stared at yourself in the floor-length mirror, looking over your outfit for tonight. Trying not to suck in your stomach, trying to let yourself be the person that you wanted to be. 

A spaghetti-strapped crop top with Madonna-Whore Complex stitched in white across the breasts. Short shorts just to say Fuck You. Block-heeled boots laced up to your knees. All dolled up with a diamond necklace and thin rings. A velvet choker with a broken heart pendant in the middle.

There you were, a vision in pink. 

There you were, a shell of the person you used to be.

Maybe it would be better to play a role tonight.

But nothing was able to halt the worry, halt the anxiety that coursed through your veins. 

That last night, with your eyes glistening with grief, you’d told him you had to go into hiding. That you needed to get away from the public eye. That he couldn’t come with you. But he’d seen pictures of you since, albeit a bit blurry, running in and out of the recording studio in New York City.

There was an edge to your outfits now, with a touch more lipstick and heavier eye shadow. Changed your hair and painted your nails anything but your usual pink. Your face, the one that once held a permanent smile for the press, now hardened. Blank expressions. No smile, no feigned light in your eyes.

It was like you were wearing some kind of armor.

It was like watching someone trying to adapt to their surroundings.

Flailing, slipping.

Trying to prove to everyone else they can do it without thinking about the consequences of their actions.

Eddie could only hope you wouldn’t let yourself drown in the process.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you said for the third time in the last ten minutes.

If anyone had a goddamn braincell, they could see that you weren’t good. But this had been the last few months for you. Doing whatever anyone asked. Staying busy. In and out of the studio so often that it became your second home. You honestly couldn’t count how many times you’d fallen asleep—you got more there than when you were home anyways.

How could you when the only thing you saw behind your eyes were crashing waves, the roar of the boat as it pulled you further and further away from the life you desperately wished you were still living? You wrote and wrote and wrote, trying to make sense of it all. Trying to figure out how to apologize. How to profess your love. How to feel any semblance of desire to say goodbye.

Your label had been shocked when you’d gotten the album done so quickly after months of producing nothing—especially calling around and getting Halsey, Lucy Dacus, and Janelle Monaé to feature. Not to mention Maisie Peters who’d actually reached out to you. It was a match made in heaven, an album stitched and woven together by the bitterest fate. 

The label gladly rolled everything into production, insisting that you do as much promotion as you could. So, you were a little money machine, doing bland Instagram reels and Tiktoks, practicing your smile in between takes. You were fine to be a puppet. You’d done everything they wanted you to, right? What’s a little bit more?

What’s better than tightening the collar on your losing dog?

            “Can you get that done for me, sweetie?”

            “It would be so nice if you could just do this one thing.”

            “You know, the fans would love it if…”

            “We’d be grateful if you just…”

“You look tired.”

You turned to Este, noticing her raised eyebrow and crossed arms. The past few minutes had been spent zoning out, trying to keep yourself from thinking too hard. But it only made things worse because all you could do was remember why you were trying so hard not to think. Your friends knew better, but you hated admitting to it. 

“Just trying to wake up the excitement,” you lied.

“For yourself or for the label?” Becky asked.

You glanced over at the door before back at her. “Yes.”

“You got this, okay?” Mary encouraged, rubbing your back. “You’ll feel better once you get there. You know you will.”

“Yeah, you’re right. At least you guys are here.”

“We’d never miss it.”

A pang of grief washed through you at the reminder of someone who would most definitely miss tonight.

Eddie knew what tonight was—and he could’ve sworn it was going to kill him. Nothing hurt him more than not celebrating your album release with you. He was planning to show up and support you the best he could. Show you off. Make sure you felt as celebrated as you could be because you were so amazing.

But here he was, back in Wayne’s house for the weekend. Laying low, talking to the walls as if Wayne could hear him. Screaming at the ceiling for someone to give him a reason to make sense as to why his wounds were still bleeding. Even after five months.

Bouncing his knees on the edge of the guest bed, growing more and more anxious as the night fell. Going in and out of the back porch, cigarette after cigarette. Hoping and praying that Wayne was a ghost and was able to talk to him through the windchimes hanging by the front door. Feeling sick when they hadn’t moved. Not even once.

Fuck, Eddie should be there with you. He should be by your side.

Instead, he was ashing another cigarette and reaching for the Garfield mug hanging on the wall. Poured the last few sips of Jack Daniels left on the kitchen counter. Trudged back into the guest room.

Tried not to cry.

You were trying not to cry.

The party was spectacular, with all your favorite foods laid out and cake and your favorite music and your friends and, and, and…

It was everything you could ask for from tonight, but nothing you’d actually asked for. Clara had been sneaky, making sure that you assumed the livestream started two hours before it actually did. Brought you to this fancy restaurant, all decked out in themed balloons and pictures of you. A Congratulations banner and a big bottle of champagne for you to pop.

And you were happy, you really were. But there was just something that overwhelmed you about it all, something weighing on you. Something eating at your stomach, making it nearly impossible to eat or even talk correctly.

Scott kept you grounded the most, always giving you a word or two of encouragement. For the last five months, he’d been cautious of you. You knew it even if he never said it. Him and his wife, Rebecca, made sure to offer you a place to stay when New York started to feel like a stranger. And hiding out in Tennessee was never a bad idea, ending up getting a third home near him, just outside of Nashville.  

Tonight was no different. It was in the way he offered you food, asked if you needed some more water. If you looked even remotely uncomfortable, Scott was there to direct you somewhere else. Kept whispering that you were doing great. Kept reassuring you that your album was amazing. That you were amazing. That it was all going to be okay.

And it was a daydream, a surreal experience you were still getting used to after five years slowly rising into the public eye. Now here you were releasing your third album, knowing in your bones that this was your best work yet. 

And everyone was being so nice.

And the party was beautiful.

And you looked beautiful.

And…

And Eddie wasn’t there. 

He wasn’t anywhere these days, actually. It was like he had vanished entirely. There were no paparazzi pictures, no fan sightings. Even People Magazine had him on the front cover literally saying, “Bad Boy Eddie Munson Mysteriously Disappears from Public Eye.” You were uncertain if he’d ever be seen again. And you knew it was your fault. All of it was.

What felt the strangest was how the internet was still speculating whether or not you and Eddie broke up. It had been five months and you hadn’t told your publicist to confirm it. Didn’t even speak of it. 

The most peculiar thing was…neither had Eddie. There was nothing for anyone to do but question why the two of you hadn’t been spotted in public together even once.

Maybe one day you’d feel strong enough to bury this relationship.

Today definitely wasn’t that day.

And tonight definitely wasn’t it either.

But your album was all was about Eddie.

Everyone would know it.

And you just had to hope that one person out there would listen to it for the music and not for your real-life experiences.

But you guessed that was just how things would have to be.

So, you put on a smile and told yourself to get over it.

Smile for the cameras.

Come up with every way to deflect.

Since you’d broken up, it seemed that your label had set up a livestream for the fans to listen to the album with you at the same time. Experience it together. Get to send in questions. Get to connect. Eddie thought that was sweet, knowing how much you enjoyed talking to your fans. 

And he knew he shouldn’t, but he really considered hopping on.

Was it a little weird for him to tune into the listening party? 

Maybe.

But he wanted to hear the album, wanted to hear the songs you’d barely shown him when you were together. You were always so shy with your music you wrote for him—which was fair. He did the same thing, keeping any and all projects about you a secret. Hell, the new record set to drop next month was done in the last five, his fingers unable to do anything other than race up and down the neck. Stuffing his pick between his lips as he wrote and wrote and wrote. Tried to write himself out of whatever this black hole was that was starting to swallow him. 

And now here he was, ready to hear what you had to say.

Sighing, he grabbed his laptop.

But maybe you were better off without him.

Maybe this was all for a reason and everything just had to happen this way. It would be a nice thought, right? A nice explanation for the twisting of your gut as you set up for the livestream. Standing on a pink stage, practicing your smile one last time before the cameras got the shot juuust right. Took a step to the right to show off a poster with the album cover on it.

All you could think as they counted down from five was, I hope Eddie is watching.

When Eddie saw you, he knew he’d fucked up already.

You were radiant, always a vision in pink. Always a vision, period.

The album cover had the name “Madonna-Whore Complex” with a picture in the center of bunched up silk—pink, of course. The same color you were wearing. The same color Eddie had yearned to wrap in his arms and make breakfast for. 

And when Eddie heard your voice, his stomach flipped.

“So,” you started. “Before we even get to the tracks, I wanted to kinda explain the album title. I know people got a little weird about it, which is fair.”

Eddie could tell that you absolutely did not find that fair.

“But I think that we live in a society that is so obsessed with a woman’s place. If she’s happy with herself and comfortable with her sexuality, she must be seen as a villain or a whore. There’s no room for her to be a good person or even able to truly be in love.”

Something tugged at Eddie’s chest at the sound of you mentioning being in love. If only you’d said that to him five months ago. If only those words had left your lips, he’d have gotten on his hands and knees to make you stay.

But you hadn’t.

“It seems that you cannot be one or the other. Either you’re this harlot who runs through people like it’s nothing or you must be this chaste woman who is only allowed to be idle in the corner. I think that I’ve always been put in this position, and, with the content of this album, I feel like I’m able to both be satirical about those accusations and show the vulnerability of, um.” He watched your eyes dart away nervously before coming back. “The vulnerability of how that has affected my personal life and my personal relationships.”

“Oh, and I really love the back cover,” you said with a wide grin, shifting the subject. “Especially the track list and the font and, oh my god, the people I collaborated with? Incredible artists, right? I just feel really excited for you guys to hear it in a few minutes.”

It was then that he remembered he hadn’t looked at the track list, too anxious at the thought of you referencing anything about him on there. But of course, you did. What else would this album be about? Some other guy? He knew better than to speculate anything like that.

His heart began to race as he found it all laid out for him already, his words being spat back out at him. Something True. Could You Say the Same? Acceptance Speech. Trade You for the World. Could’ve Fooled Me.

Eddie’s stomach twisted, queasy with the exact anxiety that he’d spent the last few months trying to prevent. But he couldn’t run away from this. He was already here, watching you nearly trip over your heels in real time. Reading the titles out, each one feeling like a prison cell built just for him.

Shakily, you stated, “Okay, everyone. Let’s start the album.”

Took a deep breath.

Closed your eyes.

Eddie took a deep breath.

Closed his eyes.

And listened.

         “Okay, my pretty boy…now move!”

Eddie felt like he was losing his ability to breathe. Track after track, jumbled with lyrics all meant for him. All written for him. Words upon words of poetry that told him how much you missed him and how guilty you fucking felt and how you just went ahead and chose the world over him and, dear god, it was all too much for him.

Grief settled in his chest at every line that he called his favorite.

Okay, Now Stop!

          “Okay, now stop!

         We're dancing dirty to The Beatles and the Stones.

         Okay, now stop!

         You're dancing pretty asking me to lead you home."

The Bisexual Slut (featuring Halsey)

         “This one boy whimpers on his knees

         Twenty girls beg to finally taste me 

         If I’m so greedy, so damn needy

         Then why does their love come so easy?”

My Body, Your Choice

         “Should I base my worth off your fickle insecurities?

         Take a scalpel to my skin to justify your animosity? 

         If I’d known my body was stained with impurity

          I would’ve begged my mother to deliver me with modesty

         But I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing

         Fuck you, I’ll never change a thing.”

Something True

         “Tell me a story, one where love always dies

         Say it with finality in your glassy brown eyes

         Thread the needle to weave through our fate

         Knowing the outcome, you still beg me to stay.”

Madonna-Whore Complex

         “My halo slipped, and my limbs are sore

         But his head seems to stay in between my legs

         I’m wrapped around his fingers as they choke my neck

         I’m his sweetheart, his princess, his saccharine whore.”

The Mess (You Once Called Yours)

         “And your fingerprints stain this house

         Baby, I’m haunted by your phantom touch

         Oh, now I’m screaming and pleading, growling and howling,

         ‘Please end this agony, my love, it’s all too much.’”

Your Residential Coward

         “Guess she’ll never really let me live that down

         Throwing daggers at my portrait now that I’m gone 

         And now that I finally see my tilted crown 

         It turns out I was the jester all along.”

Could You Say the Same?

         “Simple questions come with simple answers

         That’s why I sew my mouth shut

         The moment I saw you, wild necromancer

         Devotion gnawed at my gut.”

Synonymous (featuring Lucy Dacus)

         “Sucking in my stomach in attempt to survive

         It’s like I’m fifteen again

         All crooked teeth, low self-esteem, and love-deprived

         Only coping with a wilted pen.”

My Gentleman

         “You’ll never let me look away, that is the cerulean dream

         Could be your future wife if we let our consciousness stream

         And I confess I don’t think that would be too much to hope for

         So keep talking like that, let the wine pour, pour, pour.”

Acceptance Speech (featuring Janelle Monáe)

         “In the modern age, a sacrifice is already made

         The moment that you’ve made a choice

         But, baby, the problem always chooses herself

         And suddenly she has lost her voice.”

Trade You for the World

         “I stood in sepia tones while you bled electric crimson 

         Built the motivation before I built the scene

         Led the poets astray, bathed them in patient indecision

         Now I sit in vignettes of truth, desire what was in between.”

Back to the Beginning

         “City after city, glazed in momentary dignity, 

         I chased the prophecy of my becoming

         And, dear god, if I could tuck my tail between my legs

         I’d run us right back to the beginning.”

Could’ve Fooled Me (featuring Maisie Peters)

         “And we’re dancing around each other tonight

         Elevators built like confessionals

         Desperate to blanket myself in transparency

         I wanna say, ‘Pretty boy, you’re sensational.

         We weren’t the only freaks anyhow

         But how could anyone not love you then?

         And how could they not love you now?’”

Eddie watched you dance and party. Vaguely answer the questions about what certain lyrics meant. Focused on the sound more than the overall meanings. Thanked everyone for giving you this celebration and how you were very grateful for this opportunity.

And, peculiarly, you were handed a new acoustic guitar, soft pink and sparkling. Your name written in calligraphy down the neck.

“Um, so since this is a special night,” you said while trying to move your white capo down to the third fret. “I wanted to play a special song that didn’t make the album. It just didn’t fit the rest of the album’s vibe, so I cut it.” 

You laughed and Eddie knew he was the only one who could notice it was out of nerves. You tested the strings, making sure everything was in tune. 

“But I wanted to play it for you guys if that’s okay?” Laughing again, you shook your head. “I hope everyone said yes, otherwise this would be so embarrassing.”

You leaned into the microphone, glancing up at the camera as if you were making direct eye contact with Eddie and Eddie alone.

“It’s called Questionnaire.”

The chords were simple. 

C, Em, Am.

F, G, C.

It rang out soft, sweet. Albeit a bit sad.

         He noticed the way you chewed on your lip before you started, finding your groove.

         “Do you think about the way we live without sanctuary?

         How the fates wrap their hands around our throats, cutting off our breath?

         Do you think about the way we live without sanctuary?

         How there’s no guarantee when it’s over there’ll be anything left?”

Eddie felt a sickness wash over him as he heard you sing directly to him. You were right. It was different from the rest of the album.

He tried to gauge how you were feeling, knowing damn well the only way he could was through the music itself. How the change in chords matched the change in your emotions. 

G, Am, F.

         “Oh, oh, oh.”

Am, G, F.

         “Oh, oh, oh.”

The camera pulled in closer to your face, as if they knew that Eddie was watching. Waiting. Pathetically desperate to hear what you had to say to him. 

         “Do you wonder if there’s any chance that this was all just a dream?

         But there’s no fucking way you can’t hear me calling your name.

         Do you wonder if there’s any chance we could wipe ourselves clean?

         But there’s no fucking way to explain the way I’ve been claimed.”

You repeated the Ohs, belting out the last set before you changed the sound completely. 

New chord patterns. New set of emotions. Harsh strumming, the sound growing louder and louder as frustration filled your voice.

         “Do you know the clouds darken whenever you’re away?

         Convinced myself that my storm would worsen if I’d stayed.

         God, I need you now to answer my revelation.

         Is there any dignity in self-preservation?”

You repeated the line again, sounding angrier than before.

         “Is there any dignity in self-preservation?”

The buildup faded away, the rough strumming turning light again as the chords of the verses returned. There was a small instrumental as the camera pulled out to show you on your pink throne, surrounded by the pink balloons and holographic streamers.

You were alone.

Eddie could just barely make out the tears trickling down your face as you began to strum each chord once.

         “Do you think about the way we lived without sanctuary?

         How we fought and you fought for me until I gave it all up?

         I think about the way I live without your sanctuary.

         How there’s no guarantee I’ll ever fall in love again.”

You sighed and sniffled softly before repeating it. 

         “How there’s no guarantee I’ll ever fall in love again.”

Despite no one being in the shot, he could hear applause coming from around the room. He could even hear Becky, Este, and Mary individually, all cheering you on.

He watched you stand, laughing off the emotions as you blotted the wetness around your eyes. “Okay, Now Stop!” started playing over the screen as people scrambled to disassemble the makeshift stage. 

It occurred to Eddie then that there…had been no chorus. No hook. It was just a list of questions for him and statements for yourself. A bout of self-loathing and the guilt that he was only now starting to grasp.

And he realized that he too was crying, trying desperately to cease them with the back of his hand. And then his sleeve. And then the tissues he scrambled around the bedroom to find. 

As soon as the livestream ended, Eddie pulled out his phone.

“You’re so brave for doing that,” Becky said, crushing you in a hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

A broken smile met your lips. “God, everyone’s going to talk about it.”

“Let them,” Mary said with a scoff. “Who cares?”

“Yeah,” you whispered, knowing full well who you really wanted to talk about it. To hear it. To think about it.

Your phone began to vibrate in your pocket. As you pulled it out, something resembling belief in fate rushed through you.

Eddie.

You couldn’t suppress an audible gasp, taking a step back from the conversation.

“I’m sorry, I have to take this,” you mumbled before walking away quickly. Pressed that green button. Whispered, “Hello?”

“Oh, hey.”

His voice crawled over you in a rush of relief, an ease that had been missing for so fucking long. “Eddie, hey,” you said nervously, shocked by your own ability to say his name out loud.

“Hey, is this an okay time?”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re good. What’s up?”

“Nothing,” he lied, fiddling with blanket. “I just wanted to congratulate you on the album. It’s really incredible. Your best work yet.”

“Oh, thank you, Eddie. Um, you think?”

“Hm?”

“That it’s my best work?”

“Of course it is,” he answered with a breathy chuckle. “Are you kidding me? You took your individual sound and expanded on it and made it into a high-quality concept album. And the lyrics are incredible. It’s beautiful.”

“That’s really kind of you to say. I’m really proud of it.”

“You should be.”

“Are you working on anything new?”

“Yeah, we’re actually finishing up the album now. Should be out next month if everything goes right.”

“I bet, um. I bet it’s incredible.”

Eddie’s chest tightened at your hesitation. “Each song transitions into one another. You’d think it was cool.”

“I’ll have to listen to it. If, um, if you think I should.”

Swallowing a sigh, Eddie closed his eyes and tried to focus on keeping his voice level. Keep from cracking. Keep from begging for you to come back.

“It’s only if you want to,” he replied, trying to stay neutral before moving on. “Are you doing okay? I know you get really anxious after being, like, out in the open for a while.”

“Yeah, sure I am.” He knew you were lying. “It’s just work.”

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay in case you weren’t,” he admitted.

“You know…” you trailed, pausing.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. “You didn’t have to call if you didn’t want to…”

“Ah, come on,” he said with a chuckle. “I wanted to call you, so I called. Promise.”

Anxiety began to wash over you as you bit the bullet. 

“Is that everything you wanted to say?”

Why hasn’t your publicist confirmed the breakup?

Is this killing you like it’s killing me?

“Well, uh, I don’t know.”

Did you really mean what you said about never falling in love again?

Does that mean there’s a chance?

“What does that mean?” you asked. “I’m confused.”

Is this over?

Are we over?

“I think… I think that’s all I had to say.”

And there was the disappointment.

“Oh, okay.”

“Yeah, I hope you have a good night.”

“Yeah, you too.”

“Oh, hey, one last thing.”

You couldn’t help that ugly surge of hope. “Yeah?” 

“Remember to take care of yourself. You matter more than anyone else does.”

“Oh,” you responded, deflating. “Yeah, I’ll try, Eddie. Take care.”

“Bye.”

“Bye,” you whispered before ending the call.

There’s nothing to say once the phone call ends. No one mentioned the breakup. No one mentioned how the album he called incredible was about him. About the love. The crash and burn. How your love still glowed inside you, bright enough for him to touch if he’d just stretch his fingertips a little further.

And yet, neither of you said a thing.

And neither of you admitted to what you knew was coming in his own album.

You found yourself mute as you shuffled into the back of the black SUV and got out of the city. Left your buzzing phone next to you, knowing that Eddie wouldn’t call you again. Knowing that everything must be over now.

If this was closure, it sure didn’t feel like it.

When you walked into your house, still empty and swirling with dust, you let the grating silence whisk you towards the wine cabinet. Got yourself the shiniest glass you had, poured the cheapest bottle you found. Sat on the back porch and looked out at the moon. 

If things were different, Eddie would be here right now instead of a voice in a fucking phone. His voice, a tiny shard of glass that was surely going to rip you open and never mend itself again. 

He’d sit next to you with his own glass. Comment on how nice it was to just drink the cheap stuff. Roll you a celebratory joint with dried rose petals, the way you liked it. Ask if it was okay if you spent the night out here, just looking up at the moon together.

It’d been a full year since you’d met. Five months since you last spoke. And now you were starting to fold, starting to maneuver yourselves into strangers. Even if that was the last thing Eddie wanted. Even if the mere thought of never talking again made nausea pool in his stomach.

Eddie desperately wished you were looking at the moon together.

And maybe you would feel different than you did tonight. Maybe you would’ve had a perfect night with all your accomplishments and the perfect man beside you to experience it all with.

But he wasn’t there. 

And you felt so alone.

So fucking alone.

Tears streamed down your face, a burning in your chest growing with each What If that you conjured. 

You were not better off without him. 

He knew it the moment you told him goodbye on the island. He knew it the moment he returned to California, shutting himself off from the world. He knew it the second he called you and the second he heard you say goodbye one last time.

Eddie was not better off without you.

once again thanks to the lovely @strangergraphics for making beautiful dividers for me. it is an honor!

#Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #modern!eddie munson #modern!eddie x reader #Eddie Munson x female reader #boyfriend!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie #rockstar eddie munson #rockstar!Eddie x reader #rockstar!Eddie x you #modern!Eddie x you #boyfriend!Eddie x reader

[silenzahra]

Today's the anniversary for me! ✨

I know the Mario Movie was released on April 5th 2023, but back then I was seeing the Holy Week processions with my dad, so I didn't get to go to the cinema until April 8th, which was a Saturday, and that was when everything changed for me 😌💚❤️

This is going to get a bit long, personal and emotional, so it's totally fine if you'd rather not read it! 💖

As I've mentioned, this movie saved my life simply because I was in a terrible place when it came out. Admittedly, I had been feeling a bit better that week thanks to the fact I was going out every day and was distracted and such, but my mind was still not totally... fine.

Until, at 8PM, the Mario Movie finally started and I spent the next hour and a half with a silly smile on my face, feeling like a little kid again and experimenting lots of feelings and emotions I hadn't felt in many months. Happiness. Joy. Laughter. A warm heart. Tension. Pure emotion. Excitement. Nostalgia. The urge to cry, though not from sadness.

And the need to get those cute brothers off the screen and give them each a big bear hug.

(Posted this edit on my Instagram account last Friday.)

Mario and Luigi did really save my life. I had already fallen for them long ago, when I was 13 and played Superstar Saga on my GBA, since that was the very first game that made me see these two as endearing and charming characters with a beautiful sibling bond based not only on love, but also trust, laughter and comfort.

And, in all honesty, seeing this movie, seeing that bond translated into it, was totally a dream come true. Aside from the M&L games, we don't really get to see much of these two taking care of each other (please correct me if I'm mistaken!). Also, I'm a 90s girl, so I had been wanting a good animated Mario movie since... I honestly can't remember. All I know is I used to watch the cartoons (specifically the one based on Super Mario Bros 3), and then I ran into the live action movie from 1993 and... Welp. Let's just say I'd rather forget it 😬 (Sorry if you did like it, it simply was NOT my cup of tea.)

And then this movie was announced, and every new trailer made me feel more and more hyped, and reminded me of my love for the Super Mario franchise. I had already been hyperfixated on it back in 2013-2016, when I played Dream Team and fell even harder for them (especially Luigi), and when I finally got to see this movie, that obsession came back stronger than ever.

I felt like a little child again. I went back to play my old favorite games. I listened to the ost on loop for months, and it ended up becoming my most listened album on Spotify last year.

And I also felt the urge to write again.

Writing has always been an important part of my life. I started at 8 and I simply couldn't stop. To me, it is like breathing, so when I spend some time away from writing, I'm not exaggerating when I say I feel a physical pain on my chest. And due to the bad place I was in, I had been away from it for way too many months.

It turns out all I needed was a dose of brotherly love in order to feel my fingertips tingling again with the urgent need to start writing.

So yeah. There are many things I have to celebrate today and to be thankful for. First of all: I'm alive, and happy, and better than ever, still struggling with anxiety and fears but feeling way better than I'd felt in the years before this film came out. I feel emotion, and joy, and will to continue living and enjoying life and fangirling and being myself. I feel connected to Mario and Luigi and my heart simply warms up every single time I think about them (which is 24/7 tbh).

And I'm writing again! 2023 was the year I've written the most in my entire life, and I owe it to this wonderful movie, and so far I've continued to write this year too, and that's also thanks to Mario and Luigi.

And of course, and more importantly, this film has led me to meet all of you, beautiful people, and I honestly couldn't be more grateful 🥹🫂💖 With you I can fangirl and scream and cry and be myself, and that's why I felt like sharing this with you guys, because I know you understand and share the feelings I've experimented these months since I first saw this movie. I love each and one of you with all my heart 💖💖💖

And after talking non-stop, I believe I kinda feel like finally showing my face here (the real one, not this one 😂), so... Here I go! 🤭👇

This is me today! 🤭 With lots of Mario stuff as you can see, and I even painted my nails to match the main characters! 💅

The blue is for Toad, the pink is for Peach, green and red for Luigi and Mario (obviously) and black for Bowser since he was played by Jack Black! 😁

Admittedly, I'm not very good at painting my nails because I'm not into makeup and such, but I do like to see them all painted, I think they look beautiful 🥰 Last year I used to paint them red and green all the time since I went not once, not twice, but thirteen times to see this movie, and every time wearing a different shirt 🤭 Though the one I'm wearing today is the one I wore exactly one year ago, as you can see here! 😁

I literally cannot remember when or where I bought it, but it was simply PERFECT to wear to go see this movie 😁 And you bet, when the Toad guard said that quote from the first Super Mario game, I went all silly in the cinema: "OMG my shirt!!!!!" 😂😂😂

And here are some pics from some of the other twelve times I went, and you can get a look at some of the Mario shirts I own! I may go and show them all together in a different post, and maybe also the earrings since I own a lot: red shrooms, superstars, fire flowers, green shrooms... Would you like that? 🥰

Now that I see it, I look a bit scared on the first one 😂 The green shirt I'm wearing on the second one is pure GOLD, and on the third one I kinda felt like I was taking a picture with Mario himself 😂😂😂

I did own some Mario merch before the movie came out, but last year I went and bought tons of it, including shirts, earrings, and of course plushies! 🤭

They look like a cute little family OMG aren't they ADORABLE I love them all so so much 😭❤️💚✨

So this is it! This is my little celebration of the first year since I saw for the first time the movie that saved my life 🥰 In all honestly, I would've liked to bring a fic or something, but as you all know, I went through a very hard Holy Week and I'm still not feeling totally ready to get back to writing (even though I've gotten a couple new ideas, for which I'm deeply grateful).

But I hope sharing my experience and feelings (and my face! 😂) is enough for this year, and let's hope I can bring a new Mario story to share with you guys very soon! 🥰

I love you all so so so so so so so so so so much!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

#super mario bros #mario movie #mario movie anniversary #face reveal #this is me!

[mywritingonlyfans]

Longshot // Alex Turner X Reader!

this fic about: you always have the urge (fate, honestly) to meet Alex from time to time in the midst of moments in your life, but you never stay close to each other for a long time, after all, he is not your boyfriend. There's smut in this one!

words: 4,6K.

 Your head hurt, you knew your face was probably red due to your desire to go home and cry, but yet, you convinced yourself to go out for a drink.

 Somehow, you found yourself happy for doing so.

 You couldn't tell Alex was back in town, you briefly wondered why you didn’t know. He always contacted you when he was near (or at least that was what it seemed to be). Still, you were glad to see him there. He was always able to make things better, even if only for a short period of time; which in your case was a very short one as he wasn’t yours to have.

 Alex waved to your friends, they were all familiar to him. He hugged you, giving a small kiss to your head while sitting next to you. Suddenly, you felt like a stronger drink would do you good.

 It wasn’t hard to tell what was going to happen in the next few hours. After a couple of years going through that, you knew the time you spent together always ran the same streets. You guessed that you were able to put his head in place, just as he did with yours; and that was why he always came back to you. You’d never be able to tell if it was luck or mischance.

 “Was it too hard to find me?” You asked him, frowning in a happy face.

 Around now, your friends had moved to another corner. “I mean, I’m not complaining, I’m glad you did.” You offered him a weak smile. He did the same.

He looked tired, yet deadly cute. He had longer curls and no beard anymore.

 He shuffled his chair closer to yours, letting his leg touch your bare knee. “Not really, Miles said he called you in the mornin’, then told me that you intended to visit ‘ere for the night,” he mumbled, blinking eyes to the bartender that he needed a beer, and so did you.

 “Oh, he’s a gossip,” you wrinkled your nose, causing him to offer you a nasal laugh that you had learned to find lovely over the years. “But what has been happening in your world? You’re good?” You tried to sound casual, but deep down you knew he wasn’t there entirely for you. 

 Something was bothering him, he was looking for someone to rely on.

 “Pretty much the same,” he sighed heavily, sitting better on the chair while rolling the t-shirt cuffs to his elbows.

 In the face of this, your throat dried up in anticipation.

 He wasn’t just physically tired. “We finished the last album, I feel exhausted.”

 He looked at you like a lost puppy, watching your face, taking in if you were in the mood to listen to him and even if you were fine with having him around. After all, he came to you out of nowhere.

 He’d never make you uncomfortable, maybe he couldn't tell that yet. “C’mon, let it all out. I haven’t seen you in such a while for you to deprive me of the details.”

 “If I tell you,” he pondered, “ you’ll tell me why you have that runny nose that matches your watery eyes?” He poked your cheek, dragging his fingers so he could put some strands of hair back in place. 

 You cuddled up in his palm, like it was their right place.

 His chair was so close to you that you’d be able to rest your head on his shoulder if you wanted to (without creating any bodily discomfort, not that you were capable of that).

 “I guess life just hasn’t been all that gentle with me lately,” you giggled. “I lost my job last week, the same life shit’s going on as usual, and when I finally manage to move to a decent place, I’ll now be actually going back to sharing an apartment with strangers, because, huh, y’know, I can’t afford being in there anymore.” Your breathing has sped up and you have indeed had to hold some tears to the vague memory.

 Alex was quiet for a while, you needed him more than he needed you, it wasn’t hard for him to tell that. Listening to you made him realize how his worries were nothing at all, not in a mean way, but made him wonder why he wasn’t always around for you when he felt like could/should. He knew that you didn’t mind sharing an apartment with someone, but the loss of perspective was always tough.

 Without further thinking, he pulled you to himself, so subtle yet so significant, fluffing your hair and holding you tight in his grip. You let yourself get involved in his essence, wrapping yourself in his t-shirt. You didn���t cry, but you knew it was possible to read your emotions – at least for him to do so. It could be little, but Alex knew you.

 You took your head off his chest while he still had his arm around your waist. Taking a deep breath, you stared at your laced fingers. You couldn't properly look at him. “I guess it’s all happening at the same time, I’m just not sure how to handle it at the moment.” He held your face in his hand, his mouth close to yours as he ran his thumb over your chin and as soon as your breath met, you felt his lips on yours.

 He was soft and wet, he had the same taste you still had etched in your mind, at that moment it seemed to be all you needed. 

 When he walked away, he was left a few pecks in the corner of his mouth as his forehead rested upon his, making you sigh to feel his hair on your face.

 You two stayed like that for a few minutes and you could bet that anyone who passed by could see how much of a fool you were for him. You tried not to think about it too much, it was better to have little of him than nothing at all. “Al?”

 “Huh?” He murmured with his eyes closed, giving your lips a tickling sensation.

 “Kiss me more,” and then he did. 

 Alex was holding you in place while your hands intertwined around his neck. You played with the chain around it, savoring the touch of his tongue on yours, focusing only on him while pulling at his hair to hear his soft moans.

 It didn’t take long for the bartender to come and get your attention. You laughed nervously at him, you were embarrassed because you didn’t even remember where you were, still Alex seemed untouchable about it, even though he was dead red on the cheeks. He wasn’t one to be embarrassed over small things like that, at least not around you. The bartender was quite irritated with you and just now you noticed that your drinks had arrived and hadn’t even been touched; the guy was rightly pissed.

 Alex stood up, lifting you up with him. You looked in your pockets for your money, but then Al got you. You’d argue, but you thought better and any money left over would be useful. You held both beers in hands as he paid, thanking the old lady for the service, still feeling your skin burning due pure embarrassment, and then headed outside to wait for him.

 “Are you drivin’?” He asked, laughing at your state of awkwardness.

 You bumped into his shoulder slightly, laughing along with him. “I am not, I’m living nearby,” you whispered as he put his hand inside your skirt pocket, bringing you to his side for a walk. “In the apartment that soon won’t be mine, but, huh, how ‘bout you?”

 “Not driving’, I thought ‘bout staying somewhere for the night.”

 He was close to home, but not that close, it’d take about 3 hours to get to where he lives; it seemed plausible that he wanted to stay. “Are you only here because of me?” You risked asking.

 “Yeah,” he took his hand out of your pocket and ran it through his hair, face properly red. “I didn’t think it’d be a bad idea, I think.”

 There was silence, but it was so far from being uncomfortable. “You know you can stay with me.”

***

 Considering that you were in the process of moving to another place, your house was a bit of a mess. Alex wouldn’t be bothered by that, somehow your instinct of needing things always in place - aka Monica from Friends - made you wander around the space in an attempt to make Al at home.

 “What ‘bout the new album?” You asked, dragging one of the boxes away from him.

 It wouldn’t even bother anyone, but the thought that it’d be in the middle of the room while someone was at your house bothered you.

 “I don’t really know, I feel anxious about releasing it. It’s not that I don’t want to release it or am afraid of doing so, far from that, it’s just, I don’t know…” His voice fell silent, lost in his own thoughts. So typical and amiable of Alex.

 You turned to him, wanting to ask him what he had said, after all, that didn’t sound like him, to be insecure. You felt as his hands touched your hips, pulling you on his lap. “Y'know, I don’t care about your mess at all, right? Just, please, stop walkin’ ‘round the house dragging your stuffs, darlin’.” He said with his face close to your neck, hugging you from behind. His warm breath was in contact with your soft skin, providing heat to your body. 

 And well, there was a minimal percentage chance that you were trying to make the place look good for him but just because he made you a little nervous.

 “Okay, fine. I’m fine,” you exhaled, turning to face him. He was smiling with his eyes almost closed; he still looked tired, but at least you were improving his mood. “You know you’re good at what you do, Al. You shouldn’t worry 'bout those things.” You held on to his shoulders, breaking something that could turn out to be a pitiful silence.

 He squeezed your thigh at the same time as he laughed humorlessly at your words. “I know that. I guess that this is the short time they gave us to finish the album – it was drivin’ me crazy. The album isn’t bad, not at all, it’s honestly very good. We did an incredible job, still if it weren’t for the time, oh babe, it could have been even better. That’s crazy how I’m still letting myself get stressed over this, don’t you think?” He vented, moving his hands up your skirt.

 “I know it’ll be good, I can’t think of anything you did that ended up bad, love!” You ran your fingers over his covered shoulders, down to his chest, going to the first open button of his silk shirt. “But if it’s just stress, well, I can help ya.”

 He lubed his lips, nodding assiduously, putting you properly on top of him. That way, you were stuck to his body, feeling the roughness of his flare jeans along with the zipper against you. You gulped as he held your face, sealing your lips with his. You were relieved he always guided you through that. The leading up part was way better when it came from him, not least because he was pretty much able to leave you without the senses with so little. 

 You unbuttoned the rest of his shirt in the middle of sloppy kisses and grips. Then, you ran your hand over his belly, tracing your fingers to the back of his neck while moving your hips lightly. You lugged on his hair, pulling him away a bit to catch your breath. You opened your eyes to find Al with deep pink lips and brown eyes more intense than normal, at that moment you could have sworn that he was the most beautiful thing you had ever laid eyes on. You spread his shirt to the sides, sensing your body getting hotter, when he smirked at your rush, managing to hold both of your hands behind you, forcing you in place.

 “No need to rush, we have plenty of time, lil’ one,” he clenched you in his hands. You arched your back, breathing heavily at each pressure of his fingers on your wrists.

 He ran his nose over your neck, placing kisses and bites on the way to your collarbone, leaving wet tracks that would later turn into dark marks.

 Your legs ached from that position, the couch wasn’t the best, but feeling Alex getting hard under you as you writhed yourself against him, made you want to stay there for as long as he wanted you to. It was crazy to think that at the beginning of the day you were sure that the rest of it would be a pure disaster, and now being spoiled by his lips your worries were gone.

Temporary as that would be, you were determined to give him your all, making his and yours next hours one of the best escapes from both of you. 

 Unnecessary to say that you were lost in your own mind, craving for having his soft curls in-between your fingers, wanting him tugged into you furiously, causing you to ache. 

 Your mouth was ajar, your vision was just white dots as he played with your sensitive skin, driving you insane. And then, Alex paralyzed when his grip became too strong around your fists and you got louder than usual.

 “D’you like that, huh?” He did it again, but this time pushing your body backward, giving him a better look of your state. He kept his devilish grin on his face, watching you from top to bottom. You bit your lips, containing your noises to yourself, you were such an angel in his eyes. “Up, babe. I need to see something.” He didn’t let you answer, not as if he needed to. You stood up in front of him, legs shaking with your head definitely not in the right place. “Undress, please.” He rested his elbows on his knees, like you were his little show.

 He had an immovable jaw in a serious face, and just like that, you didn’t see any problem in obeying his voice, but perhaps, due to the lack of his body being glued to yours, you couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

 “Don’t act like you don’t like it when I tell you what to do,” he caught you by the hem of your underwear, helping to take it off while you got rid of your blouse. “Especially, when I just got you off my lap, almost unconscious 'cause of some kisses on the neck, pet.” He added, drawing circles on the inside of your thigh, smoothly going up to your center.

 You felt your breath come to a halt. “You’re just too bossy.” You teased, confirming that your breathing was faulty.

 He patted his nose over the damp stain of the fabric, placing a wet kiss there. “And you love it.” He pecked you a few more, teasing you by running his fingers on the edges as putting the cloth to the side; never touching you where you needed him.

 Taking a deep breath, you've had to hold back a groan; letting the urge to have his tongue and the tip of the nose rubbing you stick to your mind only.

  Involuntarily you took hold of his hair, bringing him closer to you. And then, you understood his previous question, it wasn’t just about not being able to touch him, but also about the power he was having (always had) over you.

 He cut his actions short and got up, hovering over you. “Is that ‘kay, darlin’?” You agreed, mouth dried up, without even being able to words. “So no touching me then, huh?” He whispered, tossing your hair behind your ear, aware of the challenge he was casting upon you.

 That’d be comical in any other situation, but with his body and eyes fixed on your frame you felt in his pure domain.

 You nodded, diving into the way he pulled at the hair on the nape of your neck firmly so that you were looking at him. “Go on, babe,” He insisted on having the words he wanted.

 “Yep, fine, Al,” it was far from fine, you couldn’t do that. 

 How could you go without touching, making a mess of his hair or marking your nails on his back?

 “That’s my girl,” he praised you in between sighs.

 He was excited while your face was overflowing with nervousness; not out of fear, but out of curiosity. He finished taking off his shirt and indicated with his fingers for you to lie down on the couch.

 You shut your eyes tight, with his voice echoing 'my girl’ inside your head. Alex was lugging your wrists above your head as you did what he told you to do. He tied them with his shirt. “Is this hurtin’ you? Feelin’ comfortable?” He tightened it in a knot.

 Your head and elbows were on the arm of the couch, only your hands were unsupported. Although you weren’t uncomfortable, it was to be expected that pain would appear the next day; yet it’d be worth it. “No, it’s fine. I’m good.” You assured him as he knelt beside the couch, running his hands down your torso, making you squirm.

 He went down to the hem of your underwear, taking it off with the help of your legs kicking the lace away. “Good then,” he warbled, pattering lines on your under belly. “Needy and in your proper place.”

 “Bastard,” you swore through clenched teeth.

 He grinned, admiring how your breast rose and fell in a quick but punctual rhythm as your hips fidgeted at his touch. You looked like a piece of art he had just created, swollen lips, filled in lovely marks on the collarbone. He found himself in need to concentrate on his breathing while watching you, to control his pulse as he reached between your legs for further care.

“Al,” you breathed out, forcing your fists in vain. “Go on, please,”

 With that, he held your hands, forcing them down and slid a finger inside you. Your lips opened in a sigh and he took the opportunity to kiss you, running his tongue over your bottom lip and nipping it to his mouth, keeping things on a slow pace.

You wanted to hold his hand, make him go faster or be able to pull the locks of his hair until he understood how much you wanted him, but you had no way of doing that, and you knew he was doing that to provoke you.

 His lips traveled over your neck again, this time giving light kisses, blowing air on the soft fresh he had left in there.

 “You’re so gorgeous,” he said without even opening his eyes, delighting in your skin as he sped up, rubbing his thumb gently over you.

 You whispered something almost inaudible that he recognized as his name. He raised his head, coming face to face with you. “Right there, huh?” He asked, focusing on the spot that was blurring your vision, without speeding up, just kissing you more.

You moaned with the satisfying running fast through your veins, making you go numb in the knees. You closed your legs, wishing you could hold on to his body, but all he did was laugh, shoving his fingers even leisurely into you.

 “No, no, Alex,” you looked at him properly, thinking that if you hadn’t been with your wrists tied you’d have slapped his chest hard.

 He wiped his hand on your thigh, and stood up slipping his jeans down his legs along with his underwear. You sighed at him, stretching your arms, staring at the ceiling to disguise yourself. Not that it was necessary, but Alex was already too much of a show-off when it came to you for your liking.

 “You good? How’s your arms?” He asked with his attentive eyes over your face, Soon, he was on top of your weak body.

 His hair was damp, falling over his forehead. Sweat was glued to his chest and his silver necklace dangled in front of your eyes. For a split second, you thought about saying that you missed him, but you were wise enough to know better than this.

 “If I say that I’m not good. Are you going to untie me?”

 He pressed his chest to yours, your body sticking to his due to the sweat.

“There's not even a single chance,” He stroked your neck with his thumb, up and down, with a silly look on his face.

 You grunted as soon as you felt him against your thigh, he placed himself in-between your knees, holding on to your shoulders, and without hesitation, he filled you up. Your body tingled and your voice failed, causing a silent moan to slip from your lips. His head fell over the crook of your neck and you could feel how dysrhythmic his breathing was. His warm body along with his breath hitting on your neck added a pleasant feeling in your stomach, leaving you dizzy under him.

 “Move Al,” you tried to sound understandable, embracing his waist with your legs.

 He thrusted deeply into you, leaving a groaning sigh of relief in your ears. You stretched out your arms, tightening your thighs around him. He held the shirt in your hands, preventing it from coming loose.

 “No, I wanna touch you,” you whined.

 “You will, just be patient, babe,” he squeezed your wrists in his hand.

 Closing your eyes, you enjoyed the way his body was over yours, every movement and delicate touch.

 He went slowly at first, making sure you were taking all of him, every inch, before going faster. Once he felt your walls clenching around him, he murmured a breathless 'fuck’, letting go of your hands so that you could finally feel him. You dug your nails into his back, kneading your body against his at the same time as he hugged you.

 As you opened your eyes, he was already looking at you, with an intense gaze, building you up so you were feeling nothing but sexy and wanted.

 Both of you were a mess; sweaty and sticky. You felt a tingling ecstasy take all over your body, your toes twitching as you emptied yourself into him. He kept working on you until his body collapsed into yours, filling you up to perfection.

 The last thing you remembered was having your fingers entwined in his hair, patting at it slightly as he whispered sweet nothing against your skin; just like a lullaby.

———–——-

 You woke up to the television, trying to adjust your vision to the brightness of the daylight.

 Failing to stretch, you felt how sore your body was.

 Your eyes searched for Alex, finding him sitting opposite to you with a lazy grin and a cup of tea in hands, his attention was all on you. 

 Friends was playing on the television, but you doubted he was watching it.

 “Good mornin’, babe,'' his husky voice echoed through the room. It was the best thing to hear in the morning, honestly. “How’s it? Hurtin’?” He asked when you started examining your marked wrists.

 He was fully dressed and although you weren’t, he had managed to get a sheet to cover you.

 “Good mornin’. It’s fine, well, huh, it doesn’t hurt,” you mumbled, scratching your eyes, curling up on the sheet. And as much as you wish it could last more, you asked. “How long will you be stayin’ in town?”

 “Not long,” he paused thoughtfully. You already expected that he wouldn’t be with you for longer, still sometimes you liked to think that it’d last longer than just a few nights before he disappeared to another continent. “I need to go home in a few minutes, I’m going to take a flight at night to adjust the final details of the album in LA.”

 “Sounds nice,” you wanted to have the courage to tell him how he made things in your life look just right, as if he were some kind of missing piece from your damage puzzle. “I can’t wait to hear it, hear what your great fingers and mind are capable of.” You ignored your thoughts. He laughed.

 However, you truly believed that not saying anything was a wise move.

 He lifted a cup from one of the boxes next to him, holding it out to you. “I made one for you too, I 'ope you don’t mind.”

 You didn’t mind it, in fact, you loved the way he made himself at home so quickly. The home that soon wouldn’t be yours anymore. You wished Al could remedy your worries for more than just one night.

 “Thank you,” you took the still warm drink in your hands, looking at him as if he were part of your decor. “You can smoke in here, I don’t mind that either,” you spoke up. You couldn’t even imagine that he’d have gone without lighting a cigarette all morning.

“The place is all clean, and smells nice. I bet you never lit one yourself, I wouldn’t do that.” He was right.

“Well, y'know, I don’t care about the smell, I just don’t see the need to leave the house impregnated with it.” You explained, remembering that his place was a perfect description of that smell, yet you loved his warm flat.

 “I know this's going to sound stupid,” he started. “But if you can’t find a place in time to live in, y'know, you can stay at mine. Well, I mean, you know I am never home much and as I’ll be travelin’ you could make yourself at home.”

 He said it casually, and you knew he wasn’t lying. If you wanted to, he wouldn’t even think twice about letting you stay at his.

 “No need, I’ll be fine. I do appreciate it though.” you took a sip of your now cold drink.

 He bobbed, checking what you thought could be the time on his phone.

 “You have to go, I'm afraid?” You asked, your soft voice revealing you didn’t want that.

 “I need to,” he gave you a small smile, getting up. “It’s gettin’ a bit late for me.”

 “I see,” you went to him, adjusting the sheet on your body, feeling ridiculous for still being undressed. “I guess I’ll see you, right?” You added it while he picked up his stuff on the couch; keys, wallet and the pack of cigarettes. There was no answer for your question.

 “Yeah,” he breathed out, heading to the door. “You could come and visit, spend a few days with us. It’d be nice.”

 “To LA? For the album thing? Like I'm one of your groupies?” You wrinkled your nose, jokingly. His arms wrapping around you. You’d miss it.

 He squeezed you into his chest, his growing beard tickling your cheek. “You know you are much more than just a mere groupie for me, babe.”

You didn’t answer that. He pulled away and for a second you thought he was going to kiss you, but he didn’t.

 “See ya, darlin',” instead, he kissed the top of your head. “Think 'bout it, both about comin’ to visit, but also, 'bout needing a place to stay for a while.”

 “I for sure will, thank you, Al,” you watched him, from his rumpled shirt to the red and cute circles under his eyes. He’d always have a special space in your heart. “Well, I think I’ll see ya then.” 

#alex turner #alex turner x reader #arctic monkeys #alex turner smut #alex turner x y/n #alex turner x you

[margalitarry]

dorothea | c.b

~❦~❦~❦~❦~❦~❦~❦~

ooh, you're a queen

selling dreams

selling make up and magazines

ooh, from you i’d buy anything

colby brock x reader

warnings : depression, mentions of suicidal thoughts, mention of drugs (xanax)

word count : 1.4k

notes : i love writing emotional fics so much omg. inspired by taylor swifts song, dorothea. you and colby were best friends (aka both def crush on each other but whatevz) and you decide to pick up the unknown call

~❦~❦~❦~❦~❦~❦~❦~

colby scrolled through his instagram feed, feeling like every photo was you. last night had been the release of your highly anticipated album, and he had of course listened to it.

you and colby had met when he first moved to LA with sam. you were one of the first people he had met and you both immediately clicked. you easily fell into his patterns and hung out nearly everyday. you helped him and sam film videos for their channel, and he helped you with pursing a music career.

everything was fine until you had released your first album. it was incredibly successful, you had even won a grammy award. you began to travel not only all over america, but the world for interviews, tour, photo shoots, and everything else in between. it was an extremely difficult change and even more difficult to balance your relationships.

at first you insisted on calling colby at any and every moment you could. even if it was for a few minutes, talking to him helped your nerves. but as the months went on you had begun getting depressed, withdrawing yourself from not only colby but many of your other friends. you felt you only had time for your career, and if you weren’t asleep you always had something or somewhere to be.

colby was never mad at you for calling less and was extremely understanding. he just wanted you to be happy, and he believed that at that time you were happier with whatever you had been doing. he couldn’t deny one thing though; having to find out bits of your life through the news made him extremely sad.

it was almost 4 in the morning when you had gotten home from your release party, which you didn’t even want to go to. you had tried to leave multiple times but your manager insisted you should stay. you groaned when your phone began to ring, expecting your manager to update you on some statistic you couldn’t care about.

‘no caller id’

you didn’t know what came over you, because technically you weren’t supposed to pick up a call you didn’t know. especially without a caller id. it could be a fan who somehow got your number, but you picked it up.

“hello?” you said after picking up the call.

“hey hello? y/n?” an extremely familiar voice replied, letting your stomach drop at the thought of who it could be.

“colby brock? are you seriously calling me right now?” you asked, excitement and anxiety running through your voice.

“yeah, yeah it’s me! how are you doing? it’s been forever i feel like.”

“i’m okay, really tired right now. i just got to my hotel room after being out all night at the listening party for my album. how are you?”

“i’m good, your album is amazing by the way. sam and i listened to it when it dropped. are you in la?”

you almost felt guilty talking to him right now, it felt like nothing had happened and just like the years together before but something wasn’t right. it didn’t feel the same.

“no, i honestly wish. i’m in new york right now, i have a show at madison square garden tomorrow night.” you told him.

“oh damn! you’re just selling dreams and everything now. i’m really proud of you, holy shit!” colby exclaimed, he couldn’t believe you had picked up his call. but he could hear a dullness in your voice that wasn’t there before.

“thank you” you lightly laughed

“are you seriously doing okay though? you sound a little more than just tired y/n.” colby asked, not beating around the bush. if he felt something was wrong he wanted to know.

his question took you aback; although you expected him to say something along those lines. you didn’t know how to answer, because truthfully you didn’t know how you were feeling. you were filled with joy from the overwhelming support, but you desperately missed your old life.

“y/n? hello?” colby said, pulling you from your thoughts of your emotions.

“uh- yeah. i mean no, but it’s not like bad. it’s not amazing either- but- i don’t know really.” you answered, best you could.

“what’s up? just talk to me, you’re good.”

“i just really fucking miss my life before all of this, whenever i just sat and edited your guys’ videos for hours a day. when we were younger down at the parks. whenever we would be together all of the time. all of you even. obviously you more- but whatever i just miss it all.”

“i don’t want to live this life anymore” you whispered, focusing your eyes on a bottle of xanax for a spilt second.

colby felt a more of a relief than he did sympathy in that moment. you were finally opening up to him after almost a year and a half. but he also couldn't help feel helpless for you.

“i’m sorry, but there’s definitely a way to balance everything. i know you have so much going on, but you’ve gotta be able to take yourself back and out of certain situations. standing up for yourself” colby said, still in disbelief he was having this conversation.

"i know but it's just after my first album it's been absolutely nonstop, i haven't had longer than a day to just do nothing. i don't know when that's gonna end."

"you have more people who want to help you than those who want to see you fail. you cant keep these things hidden, it doesn't help anyone."

"i'm sorry" you said

"nothing that's happened to you is your fault, don't be sorry for your emotions. especially with me, we're way past that point."

you weren’t sure if that was something you needed to hear, or if it was just because colby was saying it, but it encouraged you to make a spur of the moment decision.

“what if you came to new york for my show tomorrow? if you have nothing going on obviously, i’d pay for everything. and if you want too.”

colby’s jaw dropped even though you couldn’t see it. he didn’t have anything going on for the next four days, and couldn’t have been more thankful not too.

“i have nothing going on the next four days actually”

“are you serious? please say you’ll come.”

“of course i will!”

you immediately opened you laptop and looked at flights from lax to jfk, your heart breathing through your chest.

“ do you think you can be ready in five hours?” you asked him, wanting to suddenly see him extremely badly.

“are you kidding? yeah i can be, definitely. whatever you want.”

as the word ‘yeah’ came out of his mouth you booked the tickets as fast as you could, sending him the email confirmation. you couldn’t really process what you had just done fully. you also didn’t realize it at the moment but you had still had his email perfectly memorized.

“i just sent you the email, i’m so excited fuck!”

“i’m really excited to see you y/n. i feel i’ve only seen you on screens the last year.”

colby saying that so nonchalantly made you more upset that you would've liked to feel, but it had almost been an hour since he first called and you were very tired.

“i’m gonna try to sleep before you come, i’ll text you in a few hours. actually wait- do you have a new cell? it showed up no caller id.”

“it’s the same as it’s always been, not sure why. but okay get some rest, i’ll see you soon.”

“see you soon” you said before hanging up the call.

you stood up and walked over to the counter that the bottle of xanax held, tearing up staring at the bottle. you proceeded to take them into the bathroom and flush them all down the toilet before going back to bed.

all you could think about was you fully laid down was how you were pretty sure colby had just saved your life.

colby couldn't have been more relieved as he called sam letting him know he'd be in new york for the weekend.

#angst #fanfic #sam and colby #colby brock one shot #colby brock angst #colby brock fanfic #colby brock #sam golbach #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x reader #colby brock blurb #colby x reader #writing #fanfic writing #dorothea #evermore #queen selling dreams #colby brock fluff #colby #brock #fluff #fanfic rec

[definedbydaylight]

“It’ll Be The Last Time” - Matty Healy x F!Reader

Part 2:

Masterlist: .°˖✧

Word Count: 2132

Warnings: angst-ish, smoking, alcohol, drugs and semi-smutty?, mostly just mentions of it, also i promise this is a Matty fic i just love George so i can’t help but add some love for him in there

Series Summary: “You’ve known Matty since you were 14 and the boy has never failed to get on your last nerve, but over the years you two end up having unexplainable moments where you can’t help but feel you two are connected in a way you’ll never feel with anyone else, until one night he tells you something that may change how you view the boy forever…”

January 13th 2011

Today is finally the day, your debut album is coming out and you should be over the moon, you should be enjoying being out with your friends celebrating, but instead all you can think about is the words Matty spoke to you last summer. You hadn’t really spoken to him since, you’d been out with all the boys since then, you really couldn’t avoid it cause somehow Kelsey and Ross were still going strong all these years later, so you’d seen Matty, you just hadn’t spoken to him past a simple greeting. The club you were at was hosting a release party for you, a small area roped off for just your group, your manager had set everything up as a surprise, you would’ve been fine with a small listening party in your flat, but Kelsey insisted you go along with the idea and enjoy your big day. Honestly she was probably more excited for the release than you were, she’d been planning your outfit for the last week, acting as if it was your wedding day.

The situation at hand felt all too familiar to you, the fact that she’d picked you out a green dress to wear only added onto the nostalgic feeling, but you could never say no to her. You’re currently downing your third dirty shirley of the night, you were over an hour into the party and there was still another 45 minutes before the album dropped and your sad music would be blaring through this club, you almost left bad for the people who came out here who didn’t know what they were about to be subjected to. George and Adam are the first of the boys to arrive besides Ross who’d come early with you and Kels, they walk over to your chosen spot in a booth in the far corner of your section, they both greet you with a hug.

“Don’t look too happy about beating us to an album now y/n!” George jokes to you.

“Oh please we all knew she’d be the first.” Adam nudges your arm. “But for real love what’s with the sulking in the corner? It looks like it’s Kels’s release party!”

All three of you look to Ross and Kelsey dancing together to whatever upbeat club song was playing at the moment, the instrumental far too loud and drowning out any words that would help you identify it, you give a small laugh.

“Just preparing myself for the world to either hate it or love it I guess, I’m ungodly nervous.” You admit to the two.

“Oh please y/n/n! ‘With Your Permission’ is going to smash, every song is a fucking tune and you know it!” George had always been the most encouraging about your music dreams.

“Everyone’s a critic though.” You reply slamming back the rest of your drink, when you look back up you see Matty entering with his girl of the week on his arm. “I need a shot! George care to join me?”

He smiles and follows you back up to the bar, you can’t see but you feel Matty’s eyes following you both as George snakes his arm around your waist guiding you through the crowd.

“4 shots of Tequila please.” You smile kindly at the bartender as he prepares the liquor for you both.

“Any particular reason for the excessive alcohol consumption?” George teases you as the shots are set in front you both.

“Killing the nerves babes.” You smile at him, it’s only a partial lie, you were trying to drown your nerves in alcohol, but it wasn’t about critics or ratings, it was about his best mate who’d drunkenly confessed his love for her just barely 5 months ago now.

“Good enough for me.” He kisses your forehead and you both shoot back two shots in each in quick succession.

Afterwards your eyes find Matty’s and you can’t read his expression like you usually could… it was going to be a long night.

2006:

George and you and had been off and on since the dance, you weren’t really official in the dating sense, but when you both got horny or felt like being romantic you knew exactly who to go to. No one in the group questioned it, you were teenagers and you had sworn to Kelsey about a thousand times that you didn’t want anything serious and she trusted your decisions. The only person who took issue with it was Matty for now obvious reasons, he never really said it but his body language and snide comments told you enough about how he felt. Especially now as you were currently sat on George’s lap at another one of your school mate Josh’s parties, his hands on your waist and one of yours playing with the ends of his hair and the other holding a cider Ross had just brought you on his way back outside from the kitchen. Your whole group was gathered around a makeshift fire pit in the backyard, the heat from the flames keeping you all warm in the crappy early english spring, you were honestly surprised it hadn’t started raining yet as you stared at the dark clouds overhead.

“I’m bored!” Kelsey interrupts the comfortable silence you all’d built up, minus the muffled party music coming from inside the house. “Ooo! Let’s play a game!”

The group groans in unison at the suggestion, but when she breaks out the puppy dog eyes at Ross he’s quick to convince everyone to agree to a drinking game.

“What game do you even have in mind?” You ask your best friend wondering what she might have up her sleeve this time.

“Let’s do never had I ever! You say something you’ve never done, and if someone in the group as done it, they have to take a shot! Adam would you be a dear and go grab us a bottle of something and a few those little plastic shot glasses I saw in kitchen? I’d make Ross do it but he’s just got back from the last trip I sent him on.” And of course no one can say no to Kelsey, so Adam nods and is off to the house.

You all set up in a little circle on the patio beside the fire pit, you’d taken your spot next to George and somehow you’d ended up directly across from Matty on the other side of the circle, his stare held on you and he nursed one of his many smokes of the night. You and Matty hadn’t spoke of what happened at the dance since that night, you’d felt bad in a way about how you’d just left him there, but he knew you liked George, his best mate, and he’d still kissed you. Adam returned with two bottles, one apple sourz and a store brand tequila, a baggie of shot glasses under one arm, behind him trailed the host Josh and you and Kelsey’s school friend Maya.

“Hope you don’t mind but I brought along some randoms to make it more interesting.” Adam says as he hands everyone a shot glass and places the alcohol in the center of the circle.

The game started innocent enough with stupid and playful “Never Have I Ever”s, everyone had taken as least 2 shots at this point, and you were all definitely starting to feel the affects of the alcohol. George had made the mistake of getting on Matty’s nerves by using a very specific embarrassing example to get him to take a shot, and what happened next didn’t help.

“Okay! Ummm.” It was Maya’s turn, and she had no clue what flood gates she was about to open, and neither did you. “Never Have I Ever… had sex…” She admitted quietly.

Ross and Kelsey both took their shot expectantly, as did Matty, you felt your face heat up as your glanced to George at your side, he quirked his eyebrow up at you as you both smiled and threw back your shots together.

“Y/N L/N!” Kelsey shouts from other side the circle. “You dirty dog! Why didn’t you tell me!?” She faked being hurt as she placed a hand over her heart.

You put your face in your hands at the new found attention from the group and leaned over into George, he sweetly rubbed your back and laughed a little at your embarrassment, but you knew it wasn’t in a mean way. The one person you expected to make a comment hadn’t spoken up at all, just sat in silence with a small smirk on his lips, something brewing in his eyes. Josh’s turn was next, then Adam, and finally it was Matty’s turn.

“Hmmm…” He feigned being deep in thought about what he’d say. “Oh! I know! Never Have I Ever kissed my date’s best mate while at a school dance.”

Silence overtook the group after he spoke, your face stilled and your heartbeat quickened as you made eye contact with him.

“That is so weirdly specific.” Maya laughs not knowing the gravity of the situation.

“Well?” Matty speaks up again. “Go ahead and take your shot June Bug.”

Everyone’s eyes were on you again, but this time it wasn’t embarrassment you left it was anger, you held your gaze on him as you took your shot.

“My turn.” You say with heat behind your words that everyone could feel.

“Umm no it’s Kels-” Josh tried to speak up before Adam slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Never Have I Ever tried to throw my best mate under the bus by telling his date all he wants from her is a ‘good shag’ before telling her I’ve always cared about you more then kissed her without thinking about the repercussions of my actions.” It’s your turn smirk at him. “Go ahead Matty…” You say drawing it out. “Take your shot.”

George is quietly fuming beside you and his grin on your waist tightens as Matty grits his teeth and takes his shot, the tension in the air is so think you could cut it with a knife, and your just glad you can tell his anger isn’t directed at you, but at the curly headed brunette.

“Jesus Christ Matty.” George mutters as he rubs his temples with his free hand. “You know if I wasn’t drunk as shit right now I would break your fucking nose.”

“Damn Matty you did not think that through.” Josh laughs trying to lighten the mood and failing.

Kelsey is watching at you as you stand up and turn to George, a worried expression on her face. “Fancy yourself a ‘good shag’ babes?” You smile at him.

He looks up at you, smiling right back. “With you? Always.” You grab his hand as he stands up, you both pass Matty as you walk to the house, but George pauses for a moment and leans down to Matty’s ear. “She’s bloody fantastic in bed by the way.”

You both enter the house taking up residence in the master bath for some privacy, meanwhile outside Ross is handing Matty’s ass to him on platter. Only Adam knew the true nature of Matty’s feelings for you, Matty didn’t open up about how he felt about these kinds of things easily, only telling Adam after he’d gotten wasted at his after the dance. Matty truly did feel bad with how he’d handled telling you about how he felt, but tonight he was drunk and high and couldn’t stop himself from being an ass after learning the George had been the one to deflower you.

“Lay off him man.” Adam tried to to speak up and Ross whips his head towards him.

“Are you kidding me! He acted liked a child and practically decided to try and ruin his relationship with not only y/n but his best mate as well in the process!” He yells, he then redirects his attention back to Matty. “What we’re you thinking Matthew!?”

Matty sat in silence now, just taking everything Ross had to throw at him, at some point before now he’d reached for the apple sourz and began to down as much as he could, feeling every emotion and yet none all at the same time. Kelsey was rubbing Ross’s back trying to get him to calm down but it wasn’t working and she eventually gave up, going to sit between Josh and Maya, trying to process the events of what just happened and why you hadn’t told her.

After several more minutes of verbal abuse from the friendly giant Matty had finally had enough. “FUCK OFF ROSS, I’M BLOODY IN LOVE WITH HER! OKAY!?”

Silence overtook the group once again, everyone finding out the truth 4 years before you did.

Part 3

a/n: okay haha idk i just got into a rhythm while writing this so idk if it’s good cause my brain cannot handle trying to check it over rn cause i have work in like an hour haha, but i’ll revise when i get home! anyway hope you all enjoy! xx

#matty healy #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 #matty #healy #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 fanfiction #matty healy x reader #matty healy x y/n #dbd matty fics #dbd it’ll be the last time #george daniel x reader #kinda? #not really tho #george daniel #ross macdonald #adam hann

[imaginidol]

Taemin: Distant Bells Are Ringing

I don’t always leave an author’s note but I loved writing this for my anonnie’s request <3. So much so that I listened to both the instrumental pieces I mention in this headcanon whilst writing it, and I 100% would recommend you guys do the same bc I felt like crying the whole time lolzzz hope u like it !! :)

A sound of faint, classical music catches your attention as you’re exiting your dark SUV. Your bodyguard outstretches his hand in your direction, offering to lead you carefully out of the vehicle. You look around happily as you lift the sides your long, elegant gown, planting your heels firmly on the ground as you made your way to the entrance of the wedding venue.

“Thank you for coming tonight,” the familiar voice of your wedded friend’s brother greets you at the doors. “I can’t believe you made it!”

“Of course I had to come, how could I miss one of my closest friend’s wedding!? Thank you for inviting me,” you say as the boy leads you inside.

You walk into the beautifully decorated wedding venue, admiring every detail about the grandiose place in awe. Your eyes travel from the high vaulted ceilings to the intricately designed stained-glass windows. The center isle is filled with gorgeous arrangements of flowers and floral arches. All around, people were murmuring in excitement as the ceremony would soon begin.

You’re about to walk to your seat when all of a sudden, you nearly let out a shriek at the touch of a person’s arm against your shoulder.

“What the—,” you quickly turn around and find yourself making unexpectedly hard eye-to-eye contact with none other than…

Lee Taemin.

Honestly? This probably wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t for the absolute heart-wrenching heartbreak I had to endure all alone after we broke up…

Your mind quickly threatens to recall all the miserable nights you cried yourself to sleep for the boy standing in front of you, but you immediately brush them aside and plant the biggest smile on your face instead.

I can’t think of the past now.

“Taemin! Oh, I didn’t know you were here,” you say, awkwardly looking around to make sure no people were looking your way. It was no secret to the media that you and Taemin were once a favorite celebrity couple sought out by all kinds of fans, journalists, and paparazzis alike.

“Of course I’d be here. Don’t you remember we met through the bride?”

“Oh, right,” you answer, letting out an awkward half-laugh.

“I saw you walk in and I couldn’t not tell you how… how amazing you look!” he says, an innocent smile spreading across his face.

“Thank you, Taemin. You look pretty handsome yourself, actually,” you cheekily say back.

“Mister and Missus,” the voice of an older gentleman approaches you both. “Allow me too guide you to your reserved seats tonight,” he says, guiding you and Taemin into the ceremonial room.

“Oh, we’re not togeth—” you stop your sentence when you feel Taemin place his hand against your back, following the gentleman to wherever he seemed fit.

“Thank you,” you say to the gentleman anyway once you’ve reached your reserved seats.

Taemin sits next to you and, to your surprise, there aren’t many other people sitting in your section yet.

“Uh, Taemin?” You carefully look around the room before whispering into his ear, “we’re the only people sitting in this row right now… doesn’t it look a little…”

“Scandalous?” He finishes, giving you a smirk. “I’d be surprised if someone doesn’t take any pictures of us tonight.”

“Right,” you huff, turning your attention back to the front of the room.

For a moment, neither says a word, until Taemin finally speaks up.

“So… how’ve you been?”

“I’ve been… I’ve been good.”

“Yeah, I hear you’ve released a few albums since we last spoke. They’re really good. I really liked your most recent comeback,” he says quietly.

“Thank you, it means… a lot, actually.”

There is another awkward silence, before you speak up this time.

“How about you? How have you and SHINee been?”

“We’re still aiming to be the best we can be,” he smiles. “You don’t listen to us anymore, huh?”

“What? Of course I do. Just because you and I were… a thing… doesn’t mean I don’t love Minho any less.”

He scoffed. “Minho was always your bias, huh? Even when we were a ‘thing’?”

“Well, duh,” you roll your eyes, “look at him. He’s gorgeous!”

“Whatever,” he says, looking around him as a few other couples and guests slowly filled the seats more and more.

“You know,” he says, crossing his arms and turning his eyes toward you, “I only started talking to you just now ‘cause I don’t think I know anyone else here…”

“I thought you said you wanted to talk to me to tell me I looked pretty?”

“Oh, oops, yeah, that too,” he smirked. “It worked, ‘cause you’re still talking to me.”

“You’re still so annoying,” you say, crossing your legs.

He laughs mischievously, lightly punching your thigh.

“Isn’t it crazy how we almost instantly clicked again after so many years of not talking, though?”

You don’t answer him for a moment, thinking carefully of the words you’d say next.

“I guess,” you start to respond, “even after we went our separate ways, our comfort when being around each other never really went away.”

“Hmm,” he ponders, “why do you think that is?”

You don’t get a chance to respond because the ceremony begins, and all guests’ attention turns towards the front of the room.

The wedding ceremony of you and Taemin’s mutual friend plays out flawlessly beautiful.

An organist begins playing O Holy Night, at the request for the bride’s entrance. The bride walks in gracefully as ever. Her princess-styled silk dress was intricately decorated with mesh flowers, her long-sleeved white gloves featured complex designs of floral delicacies. Even from the bride’s back-view, her long, delicately designed dress tail captured and maintained all eyes on her.

Taemin had quietly moved his eyes from the bride at one point and turned his attention secretly to you.

You also looked lavishing in your dark green gown tonight, beautifully complementing the colors of the wedding decor altogether. Taemin couldn’t help but wonder if…

…if you could ever be his bride.

His eyes slowly began to water at the recollection of hundreds of shared memories alongside of you as your partner.

All the laughs, the jokes, the cries, the arguments, the make-ups, the love you shared privately in more ways than one.

He had… missed you.

Why’d we have to break up? He thoughtfully wonders as the bride and groom begin taking their vows.

If only we’d worked through our problems and not run away from them…

But it was almost every day that the arguments would arise.

The bride and groom exchange wedding bands and hold their hands together.

Taemin turns his eyes from the soon-to-be-married couple and focuses again on you.

Yes, while you were physically close to him at this very moment, he couldn’t help but think about how far you truly were.

If only I’d tried harder from my end, Taemin thinks defeatedly. I’ve been through the best and the absolute worst of this industry. If only I hadn’t let the malicious false rumors of that cheating scandal get the best of you…

The old priest raises his hands towards the crowd.

…maybe it would’ve been us on that pulpit by now.

He announces the couple as husband and wife.

But I couldn’t protect you without losing myself in the process.

The groom and bride share their first kiss as husband and wife, and the room erupts into loud cheers and happy tears. The organist beings playing the all-too familiar tune of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, and the new man and wife begin preparing to make their way back down the isle for their final grand ceremonial exit.

Taemin closes his eyes as a couple tears begin rolling down his cheeks. He’s in too deep in his own thoughts when he feels the soft touch of a cloth rubbing against his face.

His eyes open and he makes direct eye contact with you.

You’d taken a handkerchief from your purse and wiped the tears gently from his face, not saying a word.

All around you, white confetti and red flower petals fall as the bride and groom begin exiting the room, the cheers of their guests roaring louder, the organist’s musical arrangement filling the room with l endearing excitement.

You and Taemin are caught frozen in each other’s gaze for a moment in time. Your hand is gently cupped around his face, his tears have slowed, and your emotions are caught in a trance.

What ever will we do? You think to yourself.

How could I ever move on from you? He thinks to himself.

How could I ever… you look into his eyes,

…have left you? he wonders,

…And now I find myself, you ponder,

…having feelings for you, he comes closer,

…even after all, you close your eyes,

…this, his nose brushes lightly against yours,

…time! your lips clash against his.

All around you, couples take notice of you and Taemin sharing an intimate moment together. The gentlemen cheer and begin taking their partners hand in hand, leaning them back against their arms to share kisses of their own in celebration of light of a new marriage.

White confetti and red flower petals continue to float about the room and around all the couples, guests, the newlyweds as the organists begins intensifying the final chords of the infamous Wedding March.

Taemin pulls away slightly, a few more tears escaping his reddened eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to you. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you.”

You shake your head, not wanting to hear the words you longed to wish for.

“No, Taemin, I’m sorry I ever doubted you. I’m sorry I abandoned the trust I had in you… in us.”

“I should’ve gone back even after all the—”

“There’s no point in bringing up the past anymore, Tae,” you whisper.

“But I have to—”

“Shh,” you gently place a finger against his lips. “I received all the proof from your agency once the investigation was over. I now know you never had betrayed me like that.”

“You… you do?”

You smile. “I’m sorry I never went back for you. I was too ashamed to face you after you were proven innocent.”

“No,” he whispers. “I’m the one who should’ve fought harder.”

“Tae—”

Your words are cut short at the realization that there was no point in arguing further. You had grown and reflected, and so had he.

Knowing what you both knew now, there was an opportunity for the trust to grow back.

Perhaps tonight you could start over.

Perhaps tonight at the wedding reception, over delicious dinner and sugary wedding cake, you could start over.

Perhaps tonight you and Taemin would finally be able to reach the closure you both longed for, and start walking together towards a happily ever after of your own.

—

The wedding reception had gone just as fun and smoothly as the ceremony. The guests had gathered around the bride and her groom to cut their enormous marbled-flavored cake. A couple minutes before the cake-cutting begun, the bride caught a glimpse of you and Taemin and quickly walked over to you both.

“Hey, you smoochy lovebirds, why didn’t you tell me you got back together!?”

“What? How’d you even know—”

“Oh, please!” she giggled, “You started the little kissing-train back at the venue, didn’t ya? Look, it’s already making headlines!!” She excitedly pulls out her phone from her sleek reception gown’s pockets and points the screen at you both.

Indeed, there’s a half-blurry picture of you and Taemin sharing a loving, lasting kiss amidst the newlyweds’ grand exit. The headline at the top reads in bolder letters: BREAKING!! HAVE THE STARRY-EYED COUPLE ALLEGEDLY MADE A COMEBACK!?

Underneath the post, thousands of comments were already flooding the media with fans excitedly screaming their heads off at the sight of their favorite celebrity couple rumored to be seen together again. Fans from all around the industry—even fans who didn’t actively listen to you or Taemin’s music—enthusiastically shared well wishes and celebration for you both, many of these fans hoping that this time your relationship would lead to a much happier ending.

“I’ll say, your kissing stunt was absolutely perfect!” the bride excitedly bounces up and down. “All my wedding exit pictures have guests sharing kisses in the background and it’s so… so beautiful!! I’ll have to get that moment framed for our new home!”

Taemin places his hand around your waist, pulling you closer.

“If it weren’t for your wedding, I wouldn’t have gotten closure with my love again,” he smiles. He then turns his attention to you.

“And,” he adds, “I never would’ve believed I could fall in love with the right person all over again.”

#kpop #kpop imagines #shinee #shinee fanfic #taemin #lee taemin #taemin shinee #shinee lee taemin #shinee imagines #taemin x reader #taemin request #taemin imagine #taemin fanfic #taemin oneshot #taemin fluff #taemin angst #shawol #jonghyun #Kim kibum #shinee key #jjong shinee #Lee minho #shinee minho #shinee onew #kpop boyfriend material #lee taemin requests #shinee oneshots #shinee fluff #shinee edit #taemin edit

[mintchocodevi]

Dance - Atsushi x Reader

A/N: The title doesn't really fit the theme for the story but it's the title of the song I was listening too when I got the inspiration to write this. I'm also playing around with how I enjoy formatting posts so forgive me if my stuff looks slightly different from fic to fic. 'DANCE' - Yumi from the Album LOST

Summary: You're leaving the agency in search of better opportunities in America. You might not come back, are you okay with that? More importantly, is Atsushi okay with that?

Characters: Atushi, Gender Neutral Reader, Dazai

Warnings: Angst and feels mostly, you two have feelings for each other but neither of you knows till the very end, Not beta read

"I'll be leaving for America in three days." Atsushi felt his fingers freeze, hovering over the keyboard in front of him as he looked at you from the back of the room. You had requested from Yukichi to gather everyone in the main room of the Agency to make an announcement.

"I know this is sudden and last minute but, this has been very hard for me to come to terms with. I've enjoyed my time with you all very, very much! So please, if it's not too much to ask of everyone here could you all see me off?"

You were standing at the front of the room with tears in the corners of your eyes, your heart heavy from the words you had spoken. You had been a loyal worker of the Armed Detective Agency for a while now and to be leaving so many people you loved and cherished behind was like having your crystal heart thrown to the floor and shattered into pieces. You looked over all your comrades faces, fearing anger and resentment for your last minute departure announcement but was met with bright smiles and kind faces. Multiple people came up to hug you and try to calm your tears. You were bombarded with questions on top of multiple people trying to console you. Honestly, it was very fitting, and a tiny bit of it warmed your broken heart.

"I don't know how long I'll be gone truthfully. I'll do my best to keep in touch but, I don't think I'll be able to visit. I'll miss you all very much honestly!" A somber chuckle left your lips as a few of the more childish ability users pouted and whined about your abrupt leaving.

However, not everyone came up and offered condolences or empty threats as a way of trying to get you to definitely stay in touch. Atsushi had found himself frozen in time at his desk, hands still glued to the same position they had frozen in the moment the first sentence left your lips. His golden eyes glued to your teary eyed face whilst hoping that in a split second you would laugh, say this was some kind of sick prank. Yet, what right did he have to feel this way? As far as he knew the two of you were nothing more than friends. Hell, it was possible he didn't even have the right to call you that either. Even so, he didn't want to see you go, he didn't want you to leave.

"You're going to finish your report before the day is over right?" Atushi was startled out of his thoughts by Dazai leaning over and pestering him about his work.

With a nervous chuckle he gave a weary nod of his head and did his best to focus back on the report that was due. Despite how much the little were-tiger did his best to hide his feelings from everyone, even himself, there was no hiding it from Dazai's watchful eye. The brunette watched Atsushi continue his work with a small grimace before his calculating eyes looked back up at you at the front of the room, still receiving comfort from his coworkers. Eventually, you had to part ways, bowing in respect to everyone and explaining you had to finish up packing before your leave this week. Dazai took seat in the roller chair beside Atsushi, watching the pale haired boy stare at your retreating form like a lost puppy wishing for its master to come back.

"Why don't you just tell them?" Dazai inquired with a bored look. The question definitely caught Atsushi's attention as he turned back to face his higher up.

"T-Tell them what exactly," Atsushi stuttered anxiously, "there's nothing else to say that hasn't already been said by others!"

Though he knew that was a lie. Dazai knew, and Atsushi himself knew too. It's not that he didn't want to tell you, but that he didn't feel he had the right. You were like the sun, the brightest smile in the room, the kindest person that could make anyone's bad day better. You were like the first dewy morning of spring, the beauty after a rainstorm! And Atsushi, was... He didn't think he could compare himself to anything as beautiful and romantic as your very being was. With a heavy sigh and a deep furrow in his brow Atsushi did his best to focus on the report in front of him, trying to tune out Dazai and whatever plan or possibly reaction he was hoping to get.

"There's nothing to tell, end of story."

Atsushi's last sentence left his lips in a whisper. Dazai couldn't help but stare at Atsushi, the poor kid practically wore his heart on sleeve in his eyes and it was plain as day to see. This kid was in love with you, and at the idea of you leaving he was boring torn apart.

Little did they know you were just as distraught. Granted, this had been tearing at you from the beginning. You had been offered a scholarship over seas at an American school in order to further pursue the career field you actually wanted to work in. It wasn't that you hated your work for the Armed Detective Agency but it definitely had not been your first choice. They took you in and gave you a job so that way you could earn some kind of income while finish up your education locally. All of your coworkers were kind and caring, some a bit more eccentric than others but it just added to their lovely personality! Though, you could definitely live without the danger, dealing with the Port Mafia on more than one occasion had solidified that being a portion of the job you hated. Yet, even when it was a situation most people would see as hopeless to escape from, you held at hope.

"No matter what, I promise to always save you!" Those had been Atsushi's words the first time he ever saved you, and without fail, he followed through on each time. It felt silly, falling in love with the man who promised to rescue you every time, but he'd always try and make it up to you! On days you both had off and he had some extra spending money he'd try to take you for food or sweets. When there was no extra cash to be had he'd still come and check up on you, make sure you were recovering from any possible injuries.

Honestly, those days he came to visit your house had to be the best. He'd come knocking at your door, clearly anxious to be at someone's real house instead of the apartments offered by the agency considering you still lived with your parents while working and in school. You'd have a bandage wrapped around your leg or arm from a deep cut or fractured bone from being roughhoused by the villain's who had captured you. The moment you open the door Atsushi is in full panic mode, ushering and helping you get back to your bedroom so you can properly rest and heal. It's a bit embarrassing, when one of his arms comes up and around your waist to hold you against him when he tries to help you take pressure off your injured leg or when his hands delicately press into your upper back to push you toward your room to rest. His touch is so warm, calming and gentle. After he manages to coerce you back into bed he makes sure to get you anything you ask for like a maid at your beck and call and it's so cute it often makes you laugh and giggle.

Reminiscing about those days, his warm touch, those gentle yet worried eyes. The reality of your situation, that you're leaving, possibly never to see him again, has you breaking down the minute your back in your now boxed up bedroom. You want more memories of him, of being with him, of him caring for you. When you're unable to keep the dam back much longer, you crumple into the side of your bed and sob.

The next two days is spent avoiding the agency as a whole. You focus on cleaning, packing, spending time with your parents and making sure people have your phone number and possible socials to keep up with you on. You know some of this information falls on deaf ears, some friendships just simply aren't meant to last no matter how much you wish they could. You decide that, since you don't know if you'll even have time to visit you cross off some minor bucket list items. You cook your parents their favorite meal and pamper them as a 'thank you' for taking care of you and raising you all these years. You buy little gifts for everyone at the Armed Detective Agency as thanks for allowing you to work there and as a small sort of apology for constantly being a rescue case for them. However, you aren't able to give them out until the third day. You had one last bucket list item in mind just before departing and you figured it was now or never.

The gentle rain seemed to match the atmosphere within many peoples hearts today. The sky was full of gray clouds, and the port in town busy with workers and many other people and families showing up and readying for departure. Atsushi was a little confused and curious as to why he was the first to show up to the harbor where your cruise was departing. He double checked his phone to make sure the time was right and he hadn't accidentally fucked up. This would be about the 17th time since he looked at his phone now, considering he would rather die and rot in the sewers than miss your departure but he still wasn't sure. Poor boy was far too worried that the world would punish him today and the clock on his phone would jump three hours from the time it actually was. When he looked back up and saw your form, bundled up in a large trench coat and gloves to fend off the cold air and rain that was sprinkling about, he couldn't help but find you adorable. Upon sight of him you raised your hand excitedly and waved, signaling him for him to come over and join you whilst workers behind you began to take your luggage and load it onto the ship.

"H-hey.. I'm not like, some how late am I?" Atsushi brought one of his hands up to nervously scratch the back of his head before sighing in relief when you shook your head.

"No, in fact your early," you couldn't contain the blush that rose to your cheeks, "I-I wanted you here a bit early..."

"O-Oh! Really..?" Atsushi blushed just as bright as you did.

The two of you stood in an awkward silence between each other. Everyone else around you seemed to pay no mind, other cruise ship passengers looking around and struggling to figure out where they needed to go, families sharing hugs and kisses to those departing and wishing for safe travels. Time was ticking away, you only had so much time alone with him but now, presented with the opportunity, your heart felt like it was about to explode.

"I hope you have fun, in America," Atsushi suddenly said.

"Have a safe trip." He reached out to awkwardly pat you on the shoulder, unsure of what else to say or do.

Was, that really all he had to say to you? You've been crying about your feelings and this boy for months. He cared so deeply for you, to promise such a thing as to rescue you every time, to visit you so often and make sure you were healing. To baby you, be a maid for you while you healed and yet, here you were leaving him and everything behind and all he had to say was 'be safe'?

"I love you."

Your heart seemed to be moving faster than your brain was now. Looking up at Atsushi in tears, the boy had no idea what to say to you. His golden iris were blown wide with surprise as he tried to let the words sink in before feeling panicked upon recognition of your tears. You threw your arms around him in a tight and quick hug, barely lasting a second, before you furiously wiped at your cheeks and moved past him. The sounds of Dazai cheering and calling out to the two of you was nothing but mumbled garbage in Atsushi's ears. His heart and brain were racing against one another right now and he was stuck at a stand still. Does he confess now? Would it be easier for you to move on if he just kept his mouth shut and watched you leave? Would it be easier for him? It was already hard enough, pretending that he didn't already love you, but maybe that difficulty would fade the moment you left. He could pretend that you were never there to begin with.

"You know, they say distance makes the heart grow fonder." Hearing Dazai's crystal clear voice cut through the fuzzy background noise of his brain snapped him back to reality.

Atsushi hadn't realized he put himself on autopilot as everyone else from the agency gathered to give you their last good-byes. You continued to cry the whole time while hugging everyone and handing out their little gifts, muttering apologies for always causing everyone stress despite their pleas and promises you weren't. As Atsushi checked back into reality, the final horn on the ship resounded, the port walkway empty except for you and all your coworkers. You gave one final teary wave good bye as you made you way up the ramp to the main deck.

'Distance makes the heart grow fonder' Dazai had said. Yeah right, with enough time it would be like you were never there. He would forget about you, forget his feelings, and focus on keeping the city safe once again.

Right?

Or...

Would he look at the clock, expecting you to come in with your dazzling smile at eight in the morning with drinks to perk everyone up? Would he still feel his heart flutter every time he looked at all the sticky notes he saved that you had left on his work desk after he'd rescue you each time? Would he ever forget the comforting scent of your bedroom he had become so familiar with every time he went to visit you?

Would he remember his promise to always save you, just like you always remembered?

"No!" Atsushi suddenly felt very panicked when he saw the boat moving and taking off. It wasn't moving very fast, but he knew that there was no stopping it now.

His coworkers jumped the moment Atsushi yelled and watched in bewilderment as the young man ran after the boat, calling for your name as loud as he could. He had to tell you, he couldn't hide his feelings, he couldn't run from them anymore, not when he was about to lose you possibly for good! He continued to run down the length of the port as best as could, the rain causing him to slip mid-pursuit and land face first into the concrete, but he couldn't give up, not now damn it! He placed his hands flat against the concrete beneath him and pushed himself up, giving another loud yell of your name till he could finally see your familiar face running out to the railing to see the commotion going on. You needed something better, something more beautiful than a boring, simple 'I love you too'.

"No matter what! I promise to always save you! Even if I have to swim across the ocean to get to you!"

#bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x you #bsd atsushi #bungou stray dogs atsushi #bsd x you #bsd x reader #atsushi x reader #atsushi x you #atsushi nakajima bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd #armed detective agency #dazai osamu #bsd dazai

[strawbrygashez]

Fem!Reader x Postal 1 Dude

Haircut

I noticed there is no fics of p1 Dude getting the p2 hair cut so 😱😱 I thought I would fix that!!!!!!!! UhhmmMM kinda of a au I guess where p1 didn’t go postal and he is trying to better himself :,0c tw for talking about religion uHH and scars

The fic gets a little silly towards the end :,)

————————————————————————

As you swept the floors of the old hair salon for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, all you could think about was how much you wanted to quit. Since yet again, you’d been left alone to handle customer after customer all afternoon because all of your co-workers had came up with some reason or another to ditch early.

You hadn’t minded it the first couple times to be honest. You had initially thought maybe things just ran a bit differently here since all the workers seemed so tight-knit, which well, was the truth but you also quickly caught onto the fact that they all treated you differently since you were the younger newbie while they were all older ladies that for some reason acted like they had reasons to think they were all better than you and you had all the time in the world to work while they ‘needed’ to go out and do god knows what. You were sure having all this extra work dumped onto you recently breaks some kinda law or something somehow, but each night you came home, you were too exhausted to dig into it all since you felt like you couldn’t do much else other than have a quick meal and pass out for the night each night.

You sighed as you sat the broom back up against the wall and told yourself you’d have to remember to look up labor laws when you would finally wake up whenever you did tomorrow. Thank god it was Sunday tomorrow. It was the only day the salon was closed all day since your co-workers were die hard Christians who attended church.

While they were all going to be out worshiping some man in the sky, you were going to be sleeping in and eventually trying out that new game you bought and maybe listen to that album that you hadn’t had time recently to go through. Man once you left this place and joined a more stable and less stress inducing environment-

The sound of the loud ding from the bell above the front door cut your thoughts off as you jumped in surprise. You forgot there had been one more name put in for today since it had became dark out and things had slowed down and gotten quiet.

Quickly turning your head towards the front door you were met with a sight you really hadn’t expected. There, standing in front of the door was that one man you’ve seen a couple times acting strangely around town. It was really hard not to notice him to be honest since he was so tall, large, ginger and imposing. He also dressed somewhat odd for the current season and had shaggy long hair.

You’d been curious about him for some time now to be honest. He stood out so much and you had always loved and admired that in a person but right now you couldn’t help feeling at least a little nervous at the fact he was just…standing there and looking at you like a deer in headlights but since this was the last customer for the night and you could go home after this… maybe you could just speed this along or somehow kindly get him to leave if he was still freaking you out so you gave him the best smile you could muster up before you made your way up towards the old busted up computer near the front to check for his appointment information.

“Hi there! Are you uhm….” You refreshed the page the computer always sat on and looked at the name put in. Dude? Oh yeah.. you remember seeing that name added earlier on in the day and honestly thought it had been some kinda weird prank to just mess with someone’s schedule but he was here at the same time the appointment was set up for. “Uh- Dude?” You asked before looking up towards him again. He only stood there for a moment longer before making his way up toward you with a nod as he looked towards the ground. “Oh.” You smiled as he stood awkwardly in front of you and rung his hands together slightly. “Is that a nickname or something?”

The man glanced up at you and shrugged. “I just go by Dude.” He mumbled out. Oh wow.. his voice was a lot more different than you’d imagined it being. For some reason since he gave off loner vibes you were thinking he’d sound kinda nerd-ish but this man could make tons of money doing audiobooks if he wanted, but something told you he wouldn’t be willing to do that. He really should though with that deep, smooth voice. “Oh okay. I see. I thought it was just someone pulling a prank.. we get crazy names sent in sometimes yknow?” You explained still grinning. Dude didn’t do much though other than nod again and put his hands into his pockets while looking at you.

“Yeah.. anyways. Come with me if you wanna get started or if you need a little time to decide-” he shook his head in the negative. “Ah ok. Follow me then.” You said as you motioned over and led him towards the only booth still opened. You spun the chair towards his direction and he took a seat though he did so somewhat awkwardly. You could just tell he was anxious with the way he seemed so tense with almost every move and all you could really figure was he wasn’t used to both talking to people and going to places like this often. He probably hasn’t had his hair professionally cut in years by the looks of it. Not that it looked particularly bad, just his hair was super long with some choppy parts that weren’t probably put in there on purpose.

And from the looks of it, it didn’t seem like he didn’t keep good care of it either since you could already see a tangle you’d have to probably fight with. “So..what were you looking to get done today sir?” You asked as you went ahead and grabbed a cape and began to put it around him. “Just a trim.. I guess.” He mumbled again.

You hummed and once the cape was secure, you began to move his hair out of his face from behind as you looked at him in the mirror in front of you both and that’s when you noticed, with the booths light shining brightly and just feeling the hair itself, that his hair was pretty greasy. You weren’t going to judge him for it of course, you’ve seen much worse from much ruder customers so all you did for a moment was just mess with his hair a bit longer before deciding to do a little something extra for him.

“Dude?”

“Hm?”

“Since I’m the only one here and I’m closing up shop after you leave.. I wouldn’t mind washing you hair a bit. I think it could help out with how your hair will come out.” You offered with another grin. Honestly you’ve always felt a little bad for the guy since it seemed like he probably didnt or couldn’t practice self care often. “Can’t afford it.” He replied blankly.

“Oh- No! I mean like I’ll do it for free. I don’t mind and I think your hair will turn out really nice after a rinse.. and well I kinda like playing with longer hair anyways.” You said, hoping the last bit will get him to agree. He was silent for a minute as though he was weighing his options before he answered. “If it won’t be much of a issue I guess that’s fine..”

“It won’t be at all!” You assured him. “But would you mind taking off the sunglasses? It might make things a little difficult.” You added in.

He gave a little nod before taking off his sunglasses and sat them down on the little counter table before he rubbed his eyes, trying to get adjusted to the brightness of the room (you supposed) and once he moved his hands and finally opened his eyes, you really couldn’t help but to let out a “oh my god..” since the man’s eyes were such a vibrant green that you’d never seen before in your life. It almost seemed unnatural how bright his eyes and hair are. He was honestly a pretty handsome guy with all of his unique features and traits.

He looked kinda anxious though at you after you said that and kinda frowned while looking away. “What?”

“Sorry it’s just- your eyes. They are so fucking bright. I’ve never seen anyone with eyes like yours before..it’s really cool Dude!” You explained to him as you watched him look off. Noticing his face going a little red, you couldn’t help but feel a little flutter in your heart. Though he was pretty intimating on the outside, you were quickly learning he’s probably always this nervous. He said a quiet thanks while still not looking towards you.

You only stood there a moment longer before deciding to go ahead and prepare to get things set up over at the hair washing area, grabbing a shampoo and conditioner before calling him over to you once you’d gotten settled. “Ah, before you sit down maybe you should take your leather coat off. I would hate for it to get messed up with all the water and stuff.” You walked up towards him as you continued “Here let me help take the cape o-”

“N-no I got it. I can just take it off with it on.” He assured you before shimmying the jacket off and tossing it to a empty chair nearby. You couldn’t help but notice what looked like older scars all up and down his arms since he was wearing a t-shirt underneath but of course you didn’t say anything. You had your own scars you didn’t want someone else asking about so you just nodded. “Alright. Well, sit down if that’s everything and you’re ready.” You said as you made your way back to your spot as he listened. “And lean back.”

Once he did so and you’d started the process, you reminded him to tell you if the water was too hot or cold which he replied to with “it’s fine right now”, and with that knowledge you finally set to work.

You never really got to mess around much with mens hair. Most guys that came in or just lived around town in general had boring, short hair that you couldn’t ever do much with, which was another reason you’d wanted to know more about the man. He seemed to be the only other alternative person in this town other than yourself. So it was great you finally were maybe getting to know him some and being able to run your fingers through such bright red hair that you’d been curious about for a bit. You’d honestly thought maybe he had it dyed the first time you seen him but nah, this close you could see Dudes freckles, and those eyes proved he’s just 100% ginger through and through. Had you ever met a ginger before actually? You’d met some people with dyed red hair before in your old town but that was like.. red red this is red and-

Shit. Since you were lost in your thoughts, you knocked over the bottle of conditioner you had set on the other side of Dudes head which had startled him. “Ah fuck. Sorry about that Dude. I think I really need to get some sleep soon, huh?” You joked as you leaned over him to set the bottle back up. When you were sitting it back up you heard him make a strange sound however and once you gave him a quick look- yeah. You had your tits basically right in his face and he was redder than his own goddamn hair. It really didn’t help you’d had only a tank top on for a shirt since you’d gotten hot while cleaning around the salon earlier. “Oh- I uh-” you muttered out as you felt your own face getting hot since he was looking at you with those dumb green eyes, wide opened.

He held his hands together under his chest and quickly just tried to shift his gaze up at the ceiling, probably just hoping you’d ignore what just happened. Which, yeah what the hell were you going to say? ‘Sorry for putting my boobs in your face?’ Augh, god how embarrassing..You’d had it happen before where a guy was checking..those out while you were washing his hair but you felt more pissed off than embarrassed back then. Dude over here looked like he was trying to remember everything he’d ever learned at church about being a good christian boy which was honestly kinda cute despite the fact you both just wanted to hide from each other right now.

You just sucked it up though and tried to carry on with washing his hair and he helped a bit by settling to close his eyes while you continued and at least near the end, he looked more relaxed while his eyes were closed than they’d been ‘fighting every demon in his mind’ forced closed earlier.

-

Soon you had him back over at the original chair you had him in, currently brushing his hair. “So, are you sure you wanna do this big guy?” You asked as you got his hair finally ready to cut. “Yeah. Just uh-, not too much. Just a trim remember?” He asked as he stared at himself and you in the mirror. “Yep. Just going to fix it up a bit.” You said as you went ahead and cut a particular piece of his hair that had been bugging you with how janky it had been cut. “Do you usually cut your hair yourself? Or do you get it cut somewhere else?” You asked.

“Cut it myself. I went here once uh..maybe three years ago and I got yelled at to leave by some lady.”

“Why? What did ya do?”

“Nothing. She said something about devil worship or something. Which was funny since I was wearing the same necklace I’m wearing right now back then.” He replied. His gaze now mostly focused on only you in the mirror. You rolled your eyes at the fact one of your co-workers actually said that. “Damn. Sorry. I couldn’t even tell you who it was that probably said that since they are all like that.”

He gave you the first grin ever since he’d gotten here though only for a moment. “Yeah. Thought I would maybe get lucky and get someone less crazy this time around. All the other places that cut hair are too long of a walk or drive to get to.”

You nodded. “Mhm. That’s the only reason I’m working at this dump. My place isn’t too far from here. I’m not really into all the Christianity stuff..” Remembering the cross necklace he wore, you quickly added in, “No offense.” And then, oh boy did he do the most attractive chuckle you’ve ever heard. It was oddly dark which was.. very hot. “None taken. I uhm. Kinda have a weird relationship with religion. I won’t tell anyone what to do with their life. I wanted people help people see the ‘good’ before but-…….” His slight grin faltered back into a blank expression. “Eh uh. Nevermind.”

Deciding to ignore that last part for now thought it was a little odd.. you agreed. “I don’t have the time to even worry about that stuff. All I ever do it work or sleep. Well maybe I could dream about Jesus and whatever in my sleep but eh.”

“Nah. Just do what feels natural to you if it’s healthy of course. I think at least.. but uh- anyways. I’m glad I got you today. You seem really cool. A lot better than those old ladies.”

“Well that’s not much of a competition but thanks.” You joked with a grin. He grinned also again at that. His smile was something you were beginning to cherish since it just gave him this sort of glow.. “You seem cool too. I’ve seen you around and wanted to know you to be honest.”

Dude was silent as he just listened to more of his hair get snipped off. “Oh really? Well that’s nice.. I’m usually in my own head so much I don’t really notice who’s around.” He replied honestly. “I see. I know I’m not a rememberable lady. You don’t gotta lie.” You joked again to which he rolled his eyes to with a grin.

-

Soon enough you finished with his hair and both of you were extremely happy with the results. It looked way more healthy with all those dead ends and tangles gone. Once you were showing it off to him, he’d smiled wider than you’d seen him smile all night which again tugged at your heart. You knew he just needed that extra push to see how great you can feel when you take care of yourself.

Another tug to your heart came around the time he’d paid and was getting ready to leave, knowing that he probably wouldn’t come back again for a while and you’d just have to go back to cranky Karens wanting their hair cut once work started back up. You really wanted to spend a lot more time with him and get to know him even more and what his story was..maybe you could ask if he’s busy-

“Anyways. Thanks for the haircut y/n. I really like it. I’ll see you around?” He asked, interrupting your thoughts like he’d done when you first met him. “Oh uh- yeah! Next time I see you in public I’ll try to say hi!” You smiled. He nodded with a grin also and after a couple more words, he left just like that. Damn. Well at least he knew of your existence now. That’s something at least.

-

And what do you know?! A couple weeks later Dude reappeared to your surprise! He didn’t put in a appointment this time which annoyed one of your annoying co-workers but you honestly couldn’t give a damn. Since you had no one else specifically booked for you today you happily took him and cut his hair way shorter than last time per his request. Apparently he found having even semi shorter hair helped him feel better about himself so why not try something new and see how he’d like something way shorter. And in his words it would be easier to take care of so (though with a slightly heavy heart since you liked his long hair) you gave him what he wanted and not surprisingly, he looked damn handsome. You were sure so many people would be jealous of how he could rock both short and long hair, you know you were at least.

He had that big smile again and wouldn’t stop touching it and going on about how nice it felt to not have all that hair, making you giggle a little as you took the cape off him. “You look great Dude. The only thing I don’t like is all this damn hair I’m gonna have to clean up off the ground now.” You joked, ignoring the side eye you got from the worker walking past you for ‘swearing.’

Dude ran his hand through his hair one more time before turning the chair around towards your direction, his smile not leaving as he reached into the inside of his trench coat. “I’m glad you like it also because I was wondering..” he trailed off until he found whatever it was he was looking for, which turned out to be a random fake rose. “I should have asked before I left last time but uh- I would like to get to know you better and they are playing this one horror movie at the theater tonight’s so.. I was wondering if you’d like to come with?”

You stood frozen a bit though you could feel your face get a little warm which wasn’t helped by the customer next to you both covering her mouth all ‘happy shocked’ for you both (and again, you ignored all the side eyes of your co-workers) as you took the ‘rose’ from Dude and grinned. “Of course Dude! I was hoping you’d ask to be honest.” He grinned and stood up. “Great! I’ll see you at eight?” He asked.

You looked around at the old, saggy, mean ladies you were supposed to call ‘family’ and smiled. “Eh fuck it. Let’s go hang out right now. They can handle this place without me. Can’t you ladies?” You grinned with a goodbye wave as you took Dudes hand and left.

#postal dude #postal fic #postal 1 #postal dude x reader #sorry for any mistakes!!

[bright-and-burning]

tagged by @landoisokay and @bsaka7 to do my 9 favorite albums (with commentary. i had a lot to say...)

these are all relatively recent because i pick and choose older songs individually more than i listen to them as a single album. like i could pick at least an album’s worth of queen songs, but they’re not all off the same album, ya feel.

in no particular order!! w some explainers below the cut:

dreamland (2020) - glass animals. i almost put how to be a human being but i’ve been listening to that album basically on repeat for the last three weeks so i needed to switch it up. such an experience of an album honestly?? where how to be a human being makes me feel like the main character in an over-saturated murderous movie set in miami, dreamland is like, over-saturated fast car movie set in tokyo (the like. hollywood idea of tokyo, to be clear). forever intertwined with midnight walks through empty cities during covid, driving too fast, the first time i hung out with people after getting to come back to college, neon lights on cinderblock walls and $12 plastic handles of liquor. fundamentally bittersweet as an album imo? but so full of bangers that you forget that it’s . really sad. tokyo drifting with denzel curry was my top song of 2020 and spotify helpfully informed me that i listened to it 30 times on my 19th birthday. lol. the “get loose, streetfighter” with the street fighter sound effect… oh yeah baby that’s art. it’s all so incredibly loud also a song of all time tbh. whole album is floaty and sharp all at once, insane production, the perfect sadness layered underneath, every song building into this brilliant crescendo… perfect album for 2020 eve for like so many reasons, i could wax on about this for AGES so if u want more drop an ask no joke it’ll make my week. still holds up soooo well

lemonade (2016) - beyonce. LOL. this album dropped right around when i was getting cheated on by my gf of. over a year. and then we broke up and i signed the papers to transfer schools the next day without telling anyone. so this album fr got me through uprooting my entire life to start over. (what timing, to get cheated on right as beyonce drops her got-cheated-on album). i knew beyonce belonged on here (too influential musically to me to Not) but i was stumped on what specific album to include (i had 4 on cd in my car in high school, for example, and homecoming: the live album felt like cheating) until i remembered how much play time this one got, and how much i leaned on the album and the visuals then (which. by the way. i bought on itunes bc it wasn’t available for streaming. used precious data bc school wifi wouldn’t let me download it. possibly the last album i bought on itunes??)

save rock and roll (2013) - fall out boy. oh man. 2015 me was on one bc i was a HUGE mcr/fob/atl/p!atd/green day girl but at the Exact same time. a 1d girlie. my shuffle would literally go from mama to up all night. ANYWAYS. was stuck between american beauty/american psycho and save rock and roll, but i think american beauty/american psycho didn’t hold my attention for long and only recently came back on my radar (has some very toxic inspiration won’t lie). the mighty fall ft big sean? life changing. big fan of rappers being dropped into songs that you aren’t expecting them to feature on. “i’m either fuckin or workin so the grind don’t stop” is a work of art. young volcanoes and save rock and roll were legitimately like. the most comforting songs of all time as a sad and lonely 14 year old

when we were friends (2019) - the backseat lovers. starts out so strong and keeps it going. what an album to listen to while absurdly into someone who then starts dating your roommate lol. just like, beautiful stuff. makes me yearn. crazy good to belt out in the car while driving

cleopatra (2016) - the lumineers. feels like home, and being dumb young and in love to me. i’ve been listening to them since ho hey played on our local membership supported radio station when i was . 11?? finally got to see them two summers ago and bawled my eyes out the entire time. this whole album no skips but also like. so overwhelmingly nostalgic and infused with feelings with nowhere to go that i can’t help but want to cry. i learned how to play ophelia on a piano in a basement of a dorm i’ll never see the inside of again lol. patience makes me insane and it’s literally just piano. the lumineers in general make a lot of music that makes me ache for times and places i can’t return to, but this album is pretty peak for it

lungs (deluxe edition) (2009) - florence + the machine. god florence just does not miss does she. dog days are over another local member supported radio station hit. i started listing all the perfect songs off and then had to stop because i was listing the entire track list. floaty and romantic with a heavy edge of morbidity and violence. remember when i said i love when rappers on songs you aren’t expecting? if you listen to anything from this post PLEASE listen to you’ve got the dirtee love ft dizzee rascal from this album. a long ass album that’s good the whole way through, i’ll truly never tire of it

ctrl (2017) - sza. i think SOS might be better and eventually take this slot but i’m trying not to let recency impact this too much. drew barrymore went quintuple platinum in my bedroom in high school. it really was the perfect album for insecure 16 year old me? speaks of growth that listening to this album doesn’t hit me where i live half as much as it used to, that instead of being like damn so real sza to things like . “im sorry im so clingy i dont mean to be a lot... lonely enough to let you treat me like this” im like. damn good song

hozier (expanded edition) (2014) - hozier. take me to church another song that member supported ad-free radio station introduced me to. what a fucking album my GOD. angel of small death and the codeine scene… jackie and wilson was literally like. the love song to me. still is can’t lie. need to be saved and have hands through my hair. every single song has lines that literally make my jaw drop, i feel like i discover something new on every listen through. “free and young and we can feel none of it”… foreigner’s god makes my chest ache. i can’t fucking believe this album is ten years old???

mt joy (2018) - mt joy. another album that reminds me of home; my whole family listened to this for months on end during covid. i’m your wreck is such an opener… “and whatever happens please remember all the laughter” like i’ll cry. my instagram bio is from this song lol. the bit where it shifts into what my family calls shoulder lean mode… anyways. ASTROVAN!!! A SONG ABOUT JESUS SMOKING WEED but like. also an emotional tale of assuring mom how music’ll work out even if they’re broke the whole time. whole album gives me Feelings. this might be the happiest album on this list and it’s. not really that happy. just a very specific kind of like. optimism. we move forward even when we look back. the world fails us but we build it better. idk. like the last song is a break up song, but it’s whole thing is “so if you worry, don’t worry bout me, i always wanted you to see the california coast-line on your own time.” so like yeah, love is burning out, but don’t worry about me. i told u. Feelings.

uhhhh no pressure tagging @mecachrome @freeuselandonorris @monacotrophywife and @oscarpiastriwdc

#tag game

[kinghairington]

Love Walks In [E.M.]

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader Word Count: 1.3k Summary: You run into Eddie Munson at a music store one night and an unexpected flame is ignited. Warning: SFW. This is very fluffy. Includes 2 f-bombs courtesy of our boy and dissing of The Smiths/Morrissey. A/N: There are no mentions of the reader's physical features other than Eddie acknowledging that reader is a woman. Reader is the same age as Eddie. This is set during the summer of '86. Loosely titled after Love Walks In by Van Halen. Masterlist.

One of the best things about summer in Hawkins was that most stores on Main Street stayed open later, meaning you could hang out wherever you wanted after getting off work. Tonight it was the music store. What better time to stock up on some tapes to play in your car than in the summer when you could go on late night drives without a care in the world. 

The music store was the sort that played an entire album before switching to another, usually an upbeat rock album or Wham! to up the energy in the store. But, tonight, someone was clearly in a mood. You had already heard three songs by The Smiths since the moment you stepped inside. The melancholy atmosphere was not exactly the best for shopping, and apparently you weren’t the only customer who felt that way. 

“Yes, there is a murderous desire for making me listen to his whining!” Someone exclaimed, their voice easily heard over the music. 

The volume of the outburst caused you to jerk in surprise before curiosity set in and you glanced around to see who had been brave enough to yell out the insult. Someone could get kicked out of the store for that, you were sure. 

You hadn’t seen Eddie Munson since you graduated high school two years before, but he hadn’t changed much. His hair was a little longer, maybe he was taller, but it was no surprise that he was the one causing a scene. He always knew how to draw a crowd. 

Well, no one else was in the store. 

It was just you, Eddie Munson, and one bored looking employee who undoubtedly was the culprit of the music choice. So not a scene so much as a small incident that passed as quickly as it occurred. 

You laughed anyway, meeting the man’s eyes when he lifted his head from the records he was already back to flipping through. He smiled crookedly at your reaction and took in your appearance. The recognition on his face was almost immediate. 

“Hey!” He called out as he rounded the table and came to stand in front of you, one hand grabbing onto the bottom of his leather jacket and the other going up to his hair. “I know you.” 

Then he pointed at you and tilted his head in thought. 

“Class of 1984.” 

You nodded and smiled politely, planning to go back to your search, but you found yourself speaking up. 

“I know you, too.” 

“You remember me?” His voice was surprisingly bashful.

“It’s hard to forget someone who walked around school like they were the most popular guy but it was kind of the opposite.” 

“Ouch. Do you bite too?” He gasped playfully and placed a hand on his heart. “Do I need to run away?” 

“Everyone knows who you are,” you replied with a shrug. Honestly, you weren’t trying to be mean. That was exactly how you remembered the man in front of you. He was infamous within the halls of Hawkins High. “I never thought you were weird.” 

“Well, thank you. You’d be one of the few.” 

“At least high school is over.” 

Eddie titled his head back and looked to the ceiling, hands clapping together to form a praying motion. “Finally,” he whispered to himself. 

That was right - last you heard, Eddie ended up failing his first and second senior year before graduating in the spring of ‘86. It was a surprise Hawkins High didn’t throw a parade around the entire town to celebrate. 

When he looked down, he assessed the cover of the cassette tape in your hand and hummed in thought. 

“Van Halen? Not bad. I took you for more of a Cyndi Lauper fan,” he said, an amused smirk on his lips. 

“You mean you don’t just want to have fun?” 

“Different definitions of fun, I’m afraid.” 

It was difficult to not smile back at him. There was something extremely contagious about Eddie’s laugh and smile. Always had been.

“She’s pretty cool, but I think we all heard “Time After Time” enough at school dances to want to listen to it on our own.” 

The final chords of “Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others” faded out as the record ended and you glanced at Eddie to gauge his reaction. 

“Thank fuck.” Eddie breathed out the words, shoulders slumping in exaggerated relief and forcing another soft laugh out of you. 

It was quiet for a moment as the store employee changed out the records before the next song began, “How Soon is Now?” playing over the speakers. The volume was cranked up far too loud, but it definitely sent a message for the music critic next to you. 

“I believe this is dedicated to you,” you said around a smug laugh. The hope on his face was quickly replaced by a look of pure disbelief. 

“Oh, fuck off.” He huffed, but there was a pretty quirk to his lips. Playful. 

“It’s not that bad!” 

“Not that bad?” He sputtered dramatically, head shaking like he was possessed by a demon before he sobered and fixed you with a serious look. “You, my friend, need a lesson in real music and I have just the teacher for you.”

Eddie produced a piece of paper from the back pocket of his jeans. He unfolded it - you noted that it was folded in perfect fourths as if he’d taken his time to fold it just so - and held it out to you face up. 

“Corroded Coffin, Tuesdays at The Hideout,” you read off the page. There was a drawn image of a guitar shaped coffin with flames and bats around it, the coffin itself the center of the picture. The lettering was bold and jagged like Eddie himself. “Is this a band? Your band, I’m guessing.” 

“Bingo. We play every Tuesday, I play guitar. The crowd isn’t great; we get some newbies sometime. They usually don’t come back, but there’s a first time for everything, right?” 

His expression was expectant, brown eyes impossibly wide and too puppy-ish for someone with his reputation. Childish. Harmless. Cute. 

And you were kind of a sucker for puppies. 

“How can I say no to such a glowing review?” 

The positivity of your response acted as a shot of energy to the man who nodded happily before folding the paper back up and placing it in your free hand. 

“So you don’t forget,” he said quietly, cordially. “You’ll be the first woman at our gig, to be honest with you, if you don’t count the bartender who says we’re too loud. Um, you might want to bring some friends. That’d be cool.” 

“Yeah, sure. I can definitely bring someone.” 

“A boyfriend?” The words came out of his mouth in slow motion, the crease between his eyebrows making you wonder if he meant to let them out.

“No. No boyfriend, but I do have a friend who’s wild for guys in bands.” 

He let that sink in as he jingled the chain attached to his belt loops. The metal links clinked together, jangle jangle jangle, as silence passed between you again. 

“What about you; are you wild for guys in bands?” 

Tilting your head in faux thought, you joked, “I guess Morrissey’s not so bad.” 

“Oh, come on.” 

“I’m kidding.” You laughed, continuing without looking at him. You busied yourself by putting the flyer in your bag. Then you met his gaze. “I’m no groupie, but I get the appeal.”

“Well, who knows. Maybe you’ll come to our show and find the rock god of your dreams.”

He was teasing, the grin on his face frustratingly boyish and charming, and there was no way you could deny that he definitely fit the type of rock guys your friend was constantly fawning over. That fact was at the forefront of your mind as you parted ways after a few more minutes of talking. 

You never would have expected to meet up with Eddie Munson after high school, let alone agree to go see his band play at a rundown bar, but as you left the music store with a few new tapes and a flyer for Corroded Coffin, you made a mental note to tell your friend you had your eye on the lead guitarist of the band. 

#eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #my writing #writing tag

[souryogurt64]

Yeah I agree- liveblogging is trash.

But as a bandom ancient (2008ish-current) I feel like the reason why bandom was they way it was + it's appeal as well as simultaneously unappealing trait was that us fans didn't have a lot of info about the members of these bands we were fans of. Sure, we knew the songs and the albums and all that shit, but we didn't know very much about the people making these songs beyond very limited and super polished and edited (usually) professional interviews. We couldn't hop onto a livestream at any time to watch band guy #179412 play video games and talk about whatever stupid shit was coming to his dumbass mind. Sure, they tweeted, but it was more like "new single out! Go listen" and "new album dropping 3/29!" Not much personality.

Which has pros and cons. Now if a band member is genuinely awful (racist, homophobic, abusive, etc) they will be exposed. However, I don't want to know every dumbass thought that every person ever has had.

Also, a LOT of bandom was just straight up thirsting over these musicians and having erotic fantasies about them, which I know people have a lot of Opinions on. I, personally think it's perfectly fine and natural. However, it's hard to fantasize (through fanfic or art or just gossiping with friends like I did) when you can easily recall that stupid thing he said on a livestream or whatever.

Basically, band people used to be like blank canvases for fans to project their fantasies onto.

Liveblogging - I like 100% get the need and importance of people to post videos, talk about the setlist, and talk about the show, etc. That stuff is fun and cool and normal. But I don't understand why this entire website needs to become completely unusable for 2.5 hrs 6 nights a week to watch a grainy stream of a show thats full of like. People screaming. And people are so emotionally dependent on it and invested in it. Like it just does not make sense to me?? And like I wonder if this has to do with the high cost of concerts now meaning lots of people can't go at all??? Like I just don't get it why is this critical

2. Seeing the bands' personalities-- I honestly disagree in terms of emo bands now. I would say this is 100% true for fandoms that are like SWMRS sized and that SWMRS being on social media and livestreaming constantly negatively affected their image in a drastic way. I would also say Brendon's Periscoping negatively affected Panic drastically-- however that stopped completely in like 2018-2019. But FOB and MCR do like a very tiny fraction of the press that they did in 2013-2017 because They Old. They are also using social media way, way less.

3. I do agree there is less thirsting. I feel like there's a thirst renaissance because the like extreme beyond XXXX NC17 rated confession blogs were a STAPLE in any fandom pre-2015 and then there was like a purge. But I would say like sex RP blogs were a third of bandom in like 2014. I do feel like even though these spaces are coming back, there is a general hostility towards women's sexuality or the idea of women having sex with these band guys in them that did not used to be there. I do think people still have Opinions on it too though lol.

Also writing the last essay I read probably thousands of LJ comments from 2008, and I would say in the comments of every single LJ post there were always like capital H Hoes lusting fervently and openly and shamelessly and being egged on by "Anonymous" contributors (lol) and it felt very innocent in a way whereas now I would say all of bandom is like. Highly intricate and detailed alternate universes in which like Patrick is a cow that lays eggs and women don't exist

[writergirl3]

"Bring Me Back To Her"- Robaire x Reader

Here's the Robaire segment of the 'Song Lyrics That Describe Your Relationship With 4 Town', as promised. The original lyrics aren't g/n, so I've amended them a little. Also, let me know who I should write next!

Anyway, hope you enjoy🧡

---

“If the angels took me from this earth, I would tell them 'bring me back to her'.” - ‘Heaven Can Wait’, Michael Jackson. 

Mornings always were Robaire’s favourite time of day. The streaks of the first sunlight, that refreshed post-sleep feeling, the gratitude for another day of memories…the list could never end, honestly.

Especially when he gets to experience all of these things with you.

This morning, though, wasn’t like all the others. Sure, Robaire woke up with you in his arms, the comforter all tangled from your stirring. The birds were chirping outside of his window, undisturbed by any sounds of modern life. And your grip on him was as secure and clingy as ever.

So why did he feel so on edge?

Well, he blamed his subconscious for that. Robaire was no stranger to vivid dreams, but nightmares were, thankfully, more of a rarity for him. But not last night.

The details were hazy, and for that he should probably be thankful. Rubbing his eye with his free hand, he tried to recollect what had happened.

All he could remember was being dragged away from you. He had been thrashing against the force that pulled him upwards, reaching unendingly for your outstretched hand. You had screamed his name as he was lifted away from you, higher and higher. He wished he could forget the cries that contorted your features, exhibiting a pain he hoped you’ll never encounter. 

As he was snatched away from you, your figure had got smaller and smaller, a mere speck on the surface of the earth. Through ugly sobs, he had turned his attention skyward, ready to face whatever, or whoever, was tearing him from you.

His vision had been blurry, that much he remembered. Through his tear-stricken gaze, he had deciphered a pair of wings. To whom they belonged, he couldn’t say. The wings were in fact quite beautiful, glowing with a kind of luminous power that he realised he couldn’t fight.

Nevertheless, he had screamed out into his impending imprisonment: “Bring me back to them!”

And that’s when he woke up. Sweaty, and in search of you.

He hugged you tighter now, never having been so grateful to hold you. It was only when he pressed a soulful kiss to your forehead that he remembered.

Last night, before going to sleep, he’d been playing Michael Jackson’s new album. After you’d turned in, he’d continued listening to one particular song, Heaven Can Wait.

Detaching his lips from your skin, he felt himself calm down. Letting the lyrics of Jackson’s song ring in his ears, it was no wonder he’d dreamt what he did.

But, he wondered if there was more to it than that. The wings he’d dreamt about were awfully similar to the props that had hoisted him from the stage on the night of the Pandapocolypse. He’d thought a lot about how lucky he, and the boys, had been to get out of that situation unharmed. Maybe he hadn’t got over that night, and its potential consequences, as well as he’d thought.

With a sigh, he squeezed you a little tighter. Since Robaire met you, he’d known he’d be with you for the rest of his life, whatever it takes. So, logically speaking, there would come a day where the course of nature separates you. He just hoped that this detachment would be temporary, and a long way off.

Gazing back down at you, Robaire thought back to the lyrics of the earworm he has yet to defeat. In that moment, he realised that he couldn’t make it through life’s journey without you.With this in mind, he buried his face in your hair, whispering;

“If the angels took me from this earth, I would tell them ‘bring me back to them’.”

—-

4 Town Masterlist

#4 town #4*town #4town #4 town robaire #4*town robaire #4town robaire #4 town robaire x reader #4*town robaire x reader #4town robaire x reader #turning red 4 town #4 town x reader #4*town x reader #4town x reader #robaire x reader #robaire 4 town