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sultanamalik · 4 years

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Hey Blogbees,

So I am in two minds about writing this blog, as its my journey and I don’t need to explain to anyone…and maybe writing it may come across as ignorant and arrogant but in reality this is how I got to were I am today. And its my diary.

I remember in November a family member was critising a friend of mine for not wearing a hijab after Umrah. I knew then, this was culture talking as wearing your Hijab isn’t ONLY cause you went to Umrah. You choose to wear a Hijab (Scarf over your hair), what your intentions are and what you feel is right for you and your head space. Its more sinful going backwards then not going forwards at all. The sheik from our Umrah suggested to ease into it becoming a better muslim and don’t go full on. Ie wear a hijab, wear an abaya full time (No jeans or leggings anymore), learn all your surah’s by heart, learn tajweed, stop listening to music, stop associating with men. Stop you girly chat with the girls…start preaching and talking about Islam You will crash and you will be resentful, as its not natural progression. So do each step at a time…

So if you choose to wear the hijab and decide going forward I will only wear loose clothing and no longer leggings. BUT then go back to not wearing a hijab and leggings then its more disrespectful to our creator as, it is seen as you are mocking and taking your religion as joke. BUT if you decide your not ready to wear a hijab and you know what your intentions are then its less sinful as you’ve not given an ‘oath’.

In honestly my intentions was not to go to umrah and comeback to wear a hijab. It was to cleanse and repent. At the time I wasn’t ‘ready’ to cover my hair and change my dress sense. That’s how I use to view the Hijab.

I researched the Hijab and what it actually says in the Quran. I started to read my prayers 5x a day…and meant if I showed my hair between prayers (If I didn’t need the toilet) the wudu would go. So wearing the Hijab meant my Wudu would be kept. I read, unfortunately men can’t control their lust and desires, as woman we can try and create a barrier ie the Hijab. I loved big volume Kardashian hair, So I realised that I was sinning cause I was getting the wrong attention from the opposite sex. Cause I was showing off my beauty to the world, men didn’t lower their gaze (as they are told too in the Quran). I started to feel guilty cause of my appearance and cause of my outfit choice men were sinning….my opinion of women wearing the hijab is to conceal your beauty (to Keep for your partner). Wearing the Hijab means to me, is to draw away attention, by wearing a plain scarf to keep your hair hidden from your non mahram (Men you can’t marry ie father, father-in-law, son, nephew, maternal uncle). Not by wearing flamboyant scarfs and fancy designs which draws attention but to conceal/ humble yourself. Hijab means to me, is wearing clothing that looks modest. Ie not figure hugging body-con dresses or see-through skin revealing clothes. It means to me a way covering your beauty, making you more modest and makes you double think your actions. Ie swearing or my wudu would break lol.

Before I even wore the hijab I was practising, more than people around me that wore the hijab. Hijab doesn’t make you more ‘religious’ than someone that doesn’t wear a hijab. By wearing the Hijab doesn’t mean they are a better person than someone that doesn’t wear a hijab. Its all about your intentions and your relation with our creator. Your imaan and you might be a better/kinder person than someone that wears a hijab.

Alhumdulliah I started wearing my Hijab early March, as I felt I was ready. I also stopped threading my brows and to this day I have not touched (Which is incredible for me!!)

“Plucking of women’s eyebrows is not permissible. That’s because the Messenger of Allaah (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) cursed the one who does it. It is haraam and is not permitted.” The evidence: 1) Removing or plucking the eyebrows implies changing the creation of Allaah, as Allaah tells us that the Shaytaan said:

“…..and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allaah.” [al-Nisa:119]

I am still learning and changing…This is why when I first put on the hijab I never covered my full hair. I’d rather go forward than backwards (as explained above).

Even though I don’t owe anyone an explanation as only my creator can judge me or know my true intentions (Talking to trolls) Some people see my instagram and see I covered my full hair and get shocked when I have my fringe out. But infact my every day-to-day life I dont fully cover my hair. The images that I have fully covered is because of the PR packages I get OR because events I attend and cause of convenience (As wearing a under cap under the hijab my scarf doesn’t slip back as I’m at an event for a long day). I also always show throwback (Which include my hair) because, it is impossible to remove any traces of my old pictures on the internet. I have been blogging for over 7/8 years so all my old content, vlogs and collaborations are public and on platforms I do not own. Second reason is I love memories and have the best old photos. Like suggested in my previous post, I found my imaan because of my past. and cause of that I am proud of my past. so Yes I do show old images but again that’s between me and my lord.

I am not here to preach or judge but explaining my hijab story and why I choose to wear it. For convenience purposes ie Keeping my Wudu, to be a ‘hijab’ to create a barrier from the opposite sex so they may lower their gaze, to humble myself by being modest about beauty and to keep my beauty for my husband only. And to show the world I am a proud ‘practicing’ Muslim woman. This is my journey and alhumduliallah with the strength from Allah SWT I feel this comfort and peace I have never felt in my life.

Disclosure: These options and thoughts are mine. I do apologies if this may offend anyone as that is not my intentions. I am sorry if some of the text might not be accurate but this is my interpretation.

This video really made me think about what the Hijab is: What does the Quran really say about a Muslim woman’s hijab? | Samina Alis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_J5bDhMP9lQ

InshaAllah speak soon!

Sultana ❤

My Hijab story Hey Blogbees, So I am in two minds about writing this blog, as its my journey and I don't need to explain to anyone...and maybe writing it may come across as ignorant and arrogant but in reality this is how I got to were I am today.

#Finding my imaan #Hijab story

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lodryons · 7 years

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Lisbon

The flight was rather quick. I watched one of my favorite Mel Gibson movies, The Patriot, a 2 hour and 45 minute film about how the British were dicks to us before we were dicks with all of our slaves and that whole not letting women vote thing. It just so happens that the universe placed a British guy behind me who stole my freedom to sleep. I watched another flick called The Girl on the Train and found it mildly enjoyable. Emily Blunt looked quite aged in the flick. She’s still a babe though. I bet being married to Jim from The Office would be really fun.

I had a layover in Charles de Gaulle airport. Getting through customs was pretty chill. Some security man stopped a woman with a hijab. I didn’t catch what he asked her but I’m sure it was justified.

I think I went through about 15 different escalators before I got to my gate. Up and down and all around. I can’t tell if this place was designed to have people miss their flights but man they did a great job if so. I didn’t miss my flight.

I had a 5 euro “latte” after getting to my gate. I don’t think the French know what a damn latte is. It was basically coffee. Not my precious espresso and milk poured beautifully into a swan cresting a lake latte. It came out of a machine! A MACHINE!! It’s the most American thing in France I’m sure. I’m demoting France to a 2nd-world country for this.

My wing of gates looked quite cool. It’s basically a giant greenhouse of windows constrained into an arc-shape so people get really cramped on the end. Beauty is pain as Madonna always says (she probably didn’t say that).

I landed in Portugal! So people here speak a language called Portuguese. I’m not sure if I give off a Yankee vibe but no one has tried speaking to me in it. They go straight to English. It might be the backwards cap. I read that no one wears a cap in Europe backward. Thinking about it now, a backwards cap is really odd.

My God, it would suck if I didn’t speak English. I did have a woman come up to me and ask what language I speak while I was walking the riverside. I ended up giving her 3 euros. You’re welcome children of Portugal.

Apparently, my hostel won the best hostel in the world award like 4 times. I think it’s the welcoming staff and the beer I received upon arrival didn’t hurt either. I met a man who just graduated from Michigan law and is celebrating being rich soon. I had some more beers with him later and he gave me the wrap on how tech companies IPO. Lawyers make bank if you’re good.

People keep asking me why I’m not going to Porto or Barcelona. I didn’t realize those were great places. I don’t know anything about Portugal and Spain honestly. People really like it here. The food and vibe. The men are all good looking and fit. This is not a place for us tubber Americans. Everything in Portugal is named in that scary way where you’re not sure if you should pronounce it nearly phonetically (for instance Spoon is so damn easy to say) or if every 3rd letter is silent. For instance, my hostel is located at Rua São Nicolau 13. How the hell do you say that? ROO-AHH SAW-OH NEE-KOO-LAHH?

You know how in movies where James Bond goes to some not American place and fights villains? He always starts by running down alleyways and jumping off buildings? And everything is beautiful? That’s what it’s like here! The sidewalks and streets are covered in this incredible marble that always looks wet and smooth. The buildings all have that golden hour look to them and of course, you have statues and other landmarks that are old as hell. There is something poetic about browsing Reddit under a horse statue from centuries ago.

I’d definitely consider living here for a year. They really like fish down here though so that’s kind of a deal breaker. I’d have to buy some white pants though. A lot of people in white pants down here. I probably wouldn’t want to live here actually.

I went surfing! It cost 40 euros. That included the 45-minute drive there and back and 2 hours of me re-living the fact that I’m not athletic. I actually feel like I did quite well overall. About 50% of the time I’d get on the board and instantly fall off. The other half I’d manage to ride it out. I’d like to live somewhere where I can surf every day.

I learned that the Swiss speak a made-up form of German they cleverly call Swiss-German. Apparently, if you know German it is of no help. I still want to learn German I think. I’m sure I’ll get to that right after completing that ultra.

I’ve been sleeping quite poorly but managing to function decently well by taking a nap randomly during the day. Hostels aren’t really for sleeping anyways. They’re for meeting travelers and locking your shit up.

I met the nicest plumber from North Carolina last night. It was nice meeting another person from a boring state that no one cares about. I have found it refreshing to say that I’m moving to San Francisco because it’s one of the 3 places that the rest of the world knows (the other two being Las Vegas and NYC of course). It’s also been really fun saying I’m about to start a new gig at Reddit. A lot of guys light up when I say that. The ladies obviously melt too. If I had gone with Instagram I think I’d be seeing that flip quite a bit. It’s really nice not having to explain I work for a tech company in Farming and that it’s actually really cool. People’s eyes just glaze and I truly hate any interaction that glazes people, you know?

I was the least touristy person in Lisbon I think. I basically spent 90% of my time socializing with travelers and learning about them and their lives. 5% sleeping and 5% trying to find a good latte, body wash, and the damn post office. I don’t regret it but I definitely feel like I’d be getting judged if someone looked at my schedule for the last 3 days. Good thing no one reads this blog! Hahhahaha… haha.. heh.. ahem. Anyways. Lisbon was dope, I’d go back and basically sit at the riverside drinking most days and surfing the rest of the time.

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