#honestly they both seem like the kind of people who spent most of their lives just assuming theyd have kids cus thats what

[ellecdc]

Dude, I read the one where you talked about pregnant reader and you said it'll be a cute fic.... are you really gonna write it!!? Poly moonwater with pregnant reader!?? Will you? Will you? Will you!!?? Please, will you!!!!!???

well.....since you asked so nicely........👀

poly!moonwater x afab fem!reader who finds out she's expecting

CW: mentions of pregnancy, how people get pregnant (nothing discussed in detail, SFW and minors), reader is concerned the boys will leave her, reader wishes to keep the pregnancy, based off a discussion on this post.

Now that you knew, you weren’t sure how you could honestly feel surprised. In fact, now you were kind of surprised that it hadn’t happened sooner. 

For all the claims that wizardingkind makes to be ahead of the curve in comparison to muggles, they don’t exactly have the best contraceptives. 

Potions are fine if you remember to take them, the same can be said about charms, and condoms are a foreign concept to the likes of wizarding society.

You’d been feeling so incredibly exhausted lately, and it had gotten to the point that you couldn’t make it through the day without having at least one nap. It was when you’d actually fallen asleep at the dinner table that Regulus started to fret, though Remus found it terribly funny at the time. 

Then came the aches and pains that never seemed to dull no matter what you did. You’d tried potions, over the counter muggle medications, hot baths, cold showers, lying flat, sitting up – nothing stopped the aches that seemed intent on plaguing you. Remus had even given you full body massages that, whilst absolutely heavenly, did absolutely fuck all. 

“Maybe you’re coming down with something?” He’d queried, holding the back of his hand to your head. “Reg? Can you bring me the thermometer?”

You swore you heard whatever Regulus had been fussing with in the kitchen fall unceremoniously onto the counter in his haste to come over to you.

“Why? Is she poorly?” He asked severely, placing the back of his hand against your head like Remus had, only far more aggressively and to the point that it actually made a slapping sound as it made contact.

“Och, babe! If she wasn’t poorly yet she’ll surely have a concussion now!” Remus chided, pushing Regulus’ hand away and cradling your head protectively to his chest.

Needless to say, the thermometer didn’t pick up a fever either. 

So, when you woke up the next morning and spent most of the day hunched over the toilet bowl, Reg insisted you see a Healer.

Once the Healer started to ask the more...pointed questions, the pieces all started to click together in your mind.

Are you sexually active? Yes.

When was your last menstrual cycle? They weren’t exactly regular so... you supposed it had been late.

Any nausea? Yes.

Fatigue. Uh-huh.

Body or muscle pain? Fuckin’ hells.

So now you were standing outside of yours, Remus', and Regulus’ shared flat with a copy of your test results in your hand wondering what in the buggering fuck you were going to do now.

Both Regulus and Remus were pretty set on not wanting children of their own. They loved children, and they were both really good with children (in their own, very different ways); but with Regulus’ past, his family's reputation, and “the sodding inbreeding, amour; I’d be surprised if it didn’t come out with everything upside down and backwards”, he was sure that it’d be better for everyone if he stayed childless.

And Remus.

Poor, sweet Remus.

Too ashamed of his own affliction to a) pass it onto his own biological child or b) force any child to live with the knowledge that they had a ‘monster’ for a father.

And that was that.

Children just wasn’t in the cards for you three.

Yet here you were...

Suddenly, you weren’t just worried; you were terrified.

They didn’t want this, they never wanted this. They had always been clear about that. They could have been more careful to prevent this, but here you were.

Here you were.

There you stood; outside of your shared flat, unable to bring yourself to open the door.

They were going to leave you; they’d leave you, surely. Yeah?

They didn’t want this.

They wouldn’t want you. 

Fuck.

“For the love of Circe, I’m jus- Salazar’s saggy balls, Y/N!” Regulus said as he stumbled in the doorway, startled after having been in the middle of shouting something over his shoulder only to nearly collide with you. “How long have you been standing out here?”

You stared dumbly at him; you weren’t ready to go inside. You weren’t ready to have this conversation.

Too bad.

“Not long?” You stated in the form of a question. He furrowed his brows and looked you up and down before offering you his hand up the two steps to your doorway. 

“I was just opening the doors and windows; you’re lovely boyfriend tried to make us dinner.” He explained with a fond eyeroll, stepping into the flat and squinting through the smoke flooding the living space.

“Yeah, yeah. Last time I try something new in the kitchen.” Remus muttered as he threw away an entire baking dish.

“What was it supposed to be again, sweetheart?” Regulus asked with a mischievous smirk you knew he picked up from spending too much time with Remus, Sirius, and James.

“Just never you mind, you tosser. Hi dove.” He muttered to Regulus, though his tone changed dramatically once he turned to you, his eyes softening as he took in your form.

“How was your appointment?”

Your appointment? Your appointment. The appointment you just had. The appointment where you found out. The appointment where you were told you were pregnant. That appointment. The appointment you were still holding the slip for. The slip with your results. The slip with your pregnancy test results. The slip with your positive pregnancy test results.

That appointment.

“I-”

And you took off to the bathroom, slammed the door behind you and heaved into the toilet. 

There was a gentle knock on the door as you sat back against the tub with your knees to your chest, trying to catch your breath. “Dove?”

Another knock.

“Okay, we’re coming in.” Came Regulus’ more authoritarian voice through the door before it slowly opened to allow both of them entrance.

Remus had to fold himself a number of times in order to sit on the bathroom floor beside you whilst Reg flushed the toilet (while you flushed in embarrassment) and closed the lid to sit on it, facing you and Remus. 

“Did you get any answers from the healer?” Regulus asked quietly.

You smothered a humourless scoff and nodded your head in the affirmative. 

The boys let you sit there with your head laid back onto the edge of the tub and your eyes closed before Regulus couldn’t seem to handle it anymore.

“And? Are you... okay?”

You took in a deep breath and pulled that paper - now crumpled within your fist - cast a gemino duplication spell on it and handed one to each boy. 

You curled yourself inward and rested your forehead on your knees, reminding yourself to breathe even though you knew these two men now knew that you were expecting, that you were expecting their child. 

It could have been moments, or it could have been hours; but it was Remus who broke the silence.

“Pregnant?” He whispered on an exhale.

You cautiously raised your head to look over at him by your side, noticing that his eyes were shining with unshed tears.

You brought him to tears.

He never wanted this.

He wouldn’t want you.

“You’re really pregnant?” He asked again.

You nodded and swallowed around your gag reflex; unsure whether the nausea was nerves or...pregnancy related.

“You’re...” Reg started, still looking down at the paper in his hands. “You’re... gonna have a baby?” He whispered in awe.

You felt your brows furrow when you heard an emotional chuckle from beside you.

You turned back to see Remus wiping tears away from his eyes as he looked back down at his own paper in front of him.

“We’re gonna have a baby?” Remus corrected, nudging Regulus’ calf with his foot.

“Wait, you... you guys aren’t upset?” You asked urgently. Both boys snapped to attention to look at you in various degrees of worry or horror.

“Upset!?” Remus gawked as Regulus started shaking his head emphatically.

“Why? Why would you be worried of such a thing?”

You shook your own head and looked down at your hands as you began picking at your nailbeds. “Neither of you were ever interested in having kids of your own.” 

“Oh, dovey.” Remus cooed and quickly pulled you into his side. “When was the last time we talked about this, huh? When we first graduated Hogwarts? I think we could manage a kid now, yeah?”

“Or four.” Regulus added, causing you and Remus to straighten up significantly.

“Four!?” You and Remus chorused.

“Since when did you want kids?” You questioned incredulously.

“The moment I saw you hold Harry for the first time.” He answered without hesitation. 

“Ha ha.” Remus taunted. “Mine was watching her shop for Lily’s baby shower.” 

“What!?” You nearly screeched.

Regulus sighed before ultimately moving to sit on the floor on your other side; you knew this was very serious considering he was a notorious germ freak. 

“I was always a little afraid of having kids of my own, you’re right. I mean, you’ve seen the way that Sirius and I turned out, yeah?”

You and Remus scoffed at that.

“I just hated the idea of ever being anything like my parents, because that’s all I know. Or I guess, that was all I knew. But... I think you guys have taught me an awful lot.”

You watched Regulus’ stormy grey eyes as they moved between you and Remus. “You’ve both taught me to slow down, to be more patient, to see the fun in the mess and the burnt food and the change of plans. You’ve taught me that I won’t perish if I sit on the bathroom floor for a minute. And, I think most importantly, you’ve taught me how to love. And when I see how happy Harry is, I realize that’s all a kid really needs, yeah? Love?”

“You... you really want a child? This child?” You asked in a whisper.

Regulus’s face turned heartbroken for a moment. “You’re child? Absolutely, amour. There was never any doubt.”

“I always thought I’d pass on only the worst parts of me to any child.” Remus added, turning your attention to him. “But I find I’m only ever my best self when I’m around the two of you. And any child that’s even a fraction of either of you, well, I’d be one... one lucky man to call them mine.” He whimpered the end of his sentence before breaking out into a sob.

“Oh, Rem.” You murmured empathetically, pulling his larger frame into your side. He chuckled through happy tears as he moved one of his hands tentatively to your abdomen.

“A baby...” Regulus breathed, looking back at the paper in his hands. “We’re really going to have a baby?”

You and Remus exchanged a shy glance, understanding seeming to pass between the two of you before you both turned back to Regulus.

“We’re going to have a baby.” You concurred. 

#ask elle #marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #remus lupin #regulus black #remus lupin x regulus black #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #regulus black x reader #regulus black x you #moonwater #moonseeker #poly!moonwater #poly!moonwater x reader #poly!moonwater x you #poly!moonseeker #poly!moonseeker x reader #poly!moonseeker x you #kid fic #fem!reader #ellecdc fics

[wrenreid]

Do you take requests? I had a prompt to send in, but I wasn’t sure. I saw a fic for another fandom where the guy was having wet dreams in bed with y/n female reader and I thought it would be a great smut Spencer friends-to-lovers story. ❤️

Wildest Dreams

I haven’t before, but I’d love to take requests! Thank you:)

synopsis: Spencer Reid has a wet dream about his good friend and coworker. He’s highly embarrassed from where his unconscious mind wandered, so he avoids her. That is until she forces him to tell her what happened. When he does, her reaction is not what he expected. Had to add some angst because it’s who I am. Hope you like this! i hate my smut

content: 18+ MDNI, oral (m and f receiving), penetration

The team piles onto the jet after a long case. All of your faces read tired, especially Spencer’s. He plops down on the couch, something he has practically claimed as his own.

“Mind if I join you?” You ask him. “Can’t sleep on the seats.”

He scoots over, allowing space for you. Gratefully you sit down next to him, leaning your body the opposite way of his onto the arm of the couch.

Both of you are dead asleep within twenty minutes, which is highly unusual given your records of mild insomnia.

The two of you sleeping in such close proximity isn’t strange at all like one might think. You’ve been friends since you joined the BAU two years ago.

You started out as an assistant of sorts. You were still in the academy, but you were given the opportunity to work on real cases, just not in the field.

Spencer and you clicked that week since he was the only agent, other than the talented Penny Garcia, that you spent the most time with. He was off the field due to his injury from getting shot in the leg.

Watching his mind work was fascinating. It seemed like he knew everything, and honestly he kind of does. He taught you a lot that week, showing you how to apply all of the psychology and people-reading you’d learned in the academy. Being in the BAU with him was more beneficial than your classes at the academy.

You’re woken up to the sound of your own name. It’s coming from Spencer’s lips. He’s still asleep. You wake him up, worried he’s having another nightmare.

“Reid,” you say softly to not wake up the others. “Spencer. Hey, I’m right here.”

He stirs awake from your gentle shaking, his face beat red. “Y/n?” He sounds like he’s still partially asleep.

“Are you okay?” You ask him, voice still in a whisper. “Did you have another bad dream?”

Spencer shakes his head. Then he nods. He seems confused. Embarrassed.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t real,” you comfort him, patting his knee gently.

He pulls the blanket over his lap more, causing you to move your hand. “I know,” he sighs, nodding.

“We should be landing soon,” you say. “Maybe you’ll get better rest at home.”

Spencer shrugs slightly and turns his face away from you. You don’t take it to heart. You know how these dreams can be for him. Real. Terrifying. You know because you have them too.

When the plane touches ground and comes to a stop, all of you get off the plane gratefully. It’s late. Nearly 2 in the morning. Hotch tells everyone to get home safely.

“Do you want a ride?” You ask Spencer once both of you have your bags situated.

“I’ll just get a cab,” he tells you quickly.

“Really, it’s no problem,” you say, “It’s late.”

“It’s fine, Y/n.”

His voice has been clipped and distant for the last half hour. Why is he acting this way? It couldn’t have been something you did because you don’t remember doing anything.

Instead of fighting him on whatever it is that’s up his ass right now, you nod and walk to your car.

The two of you take turns driving sometimes. It saves gas money and allows you company on the 40ish minute drive from your neighborhood in D.C. to Quantico. You don’t live too far away from each other, only an 11 minute drive. It would’ve been no problem to take him home. But he opted for alone time. You guess you can’t blame him.

“Are you going out with us tonight?” You question your friend, rolling your chair to his desk.

“I don’t think so,” Spencer answers quickly.

“Why not? We haven’t had a team outing in ages. Let loose, Reid.”

“Y/n,” he warns.

“Fine,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “Movie night then?”

“Movie night?”

“Yeah. Just you and me. That new horror movie is on HBO now,” you wiggle your eyebrows, knowing his love for horror can persuade him.

“I don’t know,” Spencer says, pressing his lips together. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You don’t think what’s a good idea?” Your eyebrows raise.

The two of you have had movie nights multiple times in your two year friendship friendship.

“Just leave it alone, okay?” Spencer says, shrugging you off.

You don’t want to make a scene at work, so you roll your way back to your own desk and continue the paperwork from the last case.

Spencer has never acted this way toward you. Sure, he’s been secluded and reserved, but he’s never been one to shrug you off, to push you away.

Something is up. Something has made him close himself off. He can’t keep shutting you out like this, not without telling you why.

So after work, you try to catch him before he leaves. Unfortunately, Morgan decides to tell you and Emily a story, and Spencer slips out of the bullpen while you listen.

You’re a confrontational person. And your closest friend is avoiding you. This means one thing. You force him to tell you what’s up.

You knock on his door, not too loudly. He opens it after a few seconds.

“Y/n, what are you-?” He starts.

“What did I do?”

“What?” He huffs softly.

You fold your arms, standing in front of him with a serious face. “You’ve been avoiding me for days. I don’t know why, so tell me. What did I do to make you mad at me?”

Spencer’s face softens. “I’m not mad you.”

“Then why are you being so short with me? Why are you avoiding me? You’ve been a little bit of a dick.”

“I’m not avoiding you,” he says then pauses. “Okay, I’ve been avoiding you. But I’m done now. You’re right, it’s dickish.”

It’s always a little funny when Spencer curses. It never sounds natural.

“Why though?” You stay stern, needing to know what’s up with him.

“Come in,” he motions his head toward his living room.

You oblige, making your way to his couch. He sits beside you. You’ve been on this couch a thousand times together.

“So?” You question.

“You’re really going to make me say it?”

“Yes, I am,” you tell him.

Spencer sighs. “When we were on the couch the other night on the jet, I had a dream…”

“Yeah, I know that,” you say.

“It was about you.”

“Did something bad happen?”

He shakes his head. “Well, it depends on what you think is bad. We were in bed together.”

A laugh bursts through you. “Wait, you’ve been avoiding me because you had a wet dream about me?”

“Don’t call it that,” he groans.

“That’s what it is!” You chuckle, a big grin on your face. “That’s no big deal, Spence. It happens to people all the time. You have no control over what your unconscious mind conjures up.”

“So you’ve had one?” He asks.

“No.”

The blood has rushed to his cheeks deeply. He’s embarrassed.

“I haven’t thought about you like that in my sleep,” you tell him. “But perhaps I have while awake.”

Spencer lifts his head off the back of the couch. His eyebrows are furrowed. “What?”

It’s your turn to blush. “Yeah. I mean, the thought has occurred a few times.”

“I don’t quite know how to respond to that,” he presses his lips together.

It’s cute when he does that. It’s nerdy and shy.

“You don’t have to,” you say softly. “I just wanted you to know you’re not in the wrong for having a dream about me.”

The two of you have absentmindedly inched closer to each other. Your hand rests on his leg.

“Are you about to kiss me?” You ask, looking into his brown eyes.

“Only if you want me to,” he says.

“Show me what we did in your dream,” you whisper in his ear.

What happens next is not something you ever thought you and Spencer would do. You weren’t lying when you said you’ve thought about it, but you never thought he would’ve felt the same.

Your lips make contact softly at first, but his neediness takes over and his mouth dominates yours.

You always thought Spencer would be more of a gentle lover, but it turns out he’s an all consuming powerhouse.

He pulls you onto his lap, his hands squeezing your thighs and ass. He’s grown into himself well in the past year, and he’s definitely gotten more confident. You like this side of Spencer. A lot.

He tells you to lift your arms up, and you obey the order, eager for him to do more. Your shirt comes off quickly and his hands leave your ass and grab your tits. He’s not too rough, but he’s definitely not gentle.

You smile down at him before connecting your lips to his neck, careful to leave your marks in places he could easily hide under his clothes.

“Was I on top or bottom in your dream?” You ask, voice low and raspy.

“Both,” he answers, fingers working on the buttons of your pants.

You slide off of him and shimmy out of your work pants. You stand before him in mix matched underwear. He doesn’t care that they’re different colors. He wants them gone.

He lifts his shirt above his head and tosses it to the ground. “We should take this to my room. There’s not much space on the couch.”

“Yes sir. Or should I say doctor?” You wiggle your eyebrows.

“Yes, yes you should,” he grins, obviously liking the use of his title on your lips.

He follows you into his bedroom. You’ve laid in his bed on late nights multiple times. But he never shared it with you. He must’ve been too scared his true feelings would come out at night like they did on the jet.

“Lay down,” he says softly.

“I thought I would do something for you first,” you say, pulling him in by the belt loop.

“No need, sweetheart.”

“But I want to,” you tell him.

He nods. “As you wish.”

After slipping down his pants, you position yourself on your knees. He hands you a pillow so you don’t get sore. That makes you smile.

You take just the tip at first after running your thumb along it. After getting use to the feeling of him in your mouth, your head bobs up and down on him. Spencer’s hands tug on your hair as he finishes in your mouth.

“Your turn,” he says with a smile, looking down at you.

“If you please, doctor.”

His mouth is on your clit in no time. His tongue and lips work magic, causing you to call out his name.

“God, Spencer,” you whine, your hands tangled in his hair. It’s much shorter than it was when you met him, it makes him look older. In a good way.

With a combination of his fingers inside you and mouth working on your bundle of nerves, your legs are shaking and you’re finishing.

Spencer hardly gives you time to catch your breath before his lips are on yours and he’s hovering above you. You don’t mind. You need him.

“Are you ready, darling?” He asks.

When you say yes, he slowly slips himself inside you. He gentle at first, giving you both time to adjust.

His thrusts gradually speed up, and the slow and gentle turns into fast and rough. The sounds of your heavy breaths and moans fill his bedroom.

“Fuck, Y/n,” he groans, hand on your neck.

“Don’t stop,” you breathe out, wrapping your legs around his torso.

It doesn’t take much longer for you both to be moaning loud and shaking once again. You clench around him as you come, causing his own finish to release from him.

You bask in the high of the adrenaline coursing through your body. The two of you breathe heavily, your hearts pounding.

“Wow,” you sigh, moving your hair out of your face. “So, was that as good as your dream?”

“Much better,” Spencer says, rubbing your cheekbone with his thumb gently.

tags: @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @kylakins88 @jazzerbelle14 @cynbx @yazzyu @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @sebs-oxygen @jolotta @booktvmoviefangirl @nevielei @pauline5525mgg @necromaniackat @r3idsp3ncer @impossiblynoisywasteland @jazzerbelle14

#criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #mgg x you #spencer reid #mgg fic #spencer reid smut #mgg angst #spencer reid and reader #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid hands #spencer reid hair #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x original female character #spencer reid series #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #dilf spencerreid #criminal minds x y/n #mgg #spencer reid x fem!readr #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfiction

[ericscroptop]

Don’t Wanna Break Up Again

✧ pairing: bf! sunwoo x gf! reader

✦ genre: angst

✧ warnings: angst, kinda toxic relationship vibes, maybe some miscommunication going on, insecure reader but kinda valid, brief mentions of past relationship trauma, lots of tears, just the not-so-perfect parts about a relationship, cursing, kissing, making out, and suggestive towards the end

✦ word count: 1.9k words

✧ synopsis: you both know that you each are bringing pain to one other in this relationship. yet, you two can’t seem to let go despite the challenges.

✦ note: i had to write a drabble based off this song, even though it hurts— it’s so freaking good; i love ariana sm. eternal sunshine broke me and revived me simultaneously.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ͙⁺˚*･

Being held hostage to your tears was common for you these days.

The sounds coming from the tv in the background are drowned out by your worrisome thoughts that eat away your mind, especially during nightfall.

It was difficult to fall asleep when your mind raced in thinking on loop of how flirtatious your boyfriend was. It’s actually funny how that kills you now, because his charm and inviting form is what drew you to him in the first place.

Sunwoo was too kind for his own good. I guess you can’t blame him for being such a smooth talker and for the way he looks. Girls are bound to be drawn to him.

I mean, you don’t really expect him to push every girl in existence out of his way and tell them to ‘fuck off’ when they ask if he’s single, were too kittenish when speaking to him, or stare at him a little too long, do you?

It shouldn’t bother you when he has ‘guys night’ and goes out to the lounge bar with his friend group almost every other weekend.

That place he frequents is mainly filled with people looking for hookups and a scandalous night of fun. Even if he was with his friends— who are mostly all single and not committed, mind you— left a sour taste present in your mouth and it felt nauseating to you every time he would go there.

You two had a private relationship. Though, it wasn’t a secret that you guys were in a relationship at all. It was more so filled with quiet dinners together, laid back activities, and not shoving your relationship in everyone’s faces on social media— especially coming from him.

You weren’t trying to prove to anyone that you two were in love. You actually preferred that so you didn’t make your relationship your entire personality.

And you honestly didn’t care whether you spent the entire day in bed cuddling lazily with Sunwoo, or if he decided to take you to the most lavish restaurant in town.

As long as Sunwoo was by your side, you couldn’t care less what you did with him. His presence alone was enough to satisfy your heart.

But your anxieties and trauma from past relationships always kept coming back to haunt you. Your head was a sick place to live in.

You didn’t want to be an overbearing girlfriend. At the end of the day, you two were each your own person, and there had to be a level of trust in this relationship.

Sunwoo knew about your past, as you opened up to him about shit you’ve dealt with.

He did his best to instantly reassure you that your past doesn’t define your future, and that he’d do his best to love you with all his being and be there for you in all aspects.

But you couldn’t contain that compressed feeling in your chest whenever he would go out to the lounge and always spent the night at one of his friend’s supposedly afterwards.

Or when you’ve seen him be a little too playful towards his female coworkers when you drop by his place of work every so often to deliver his lunch.

Or how you feel ignored and alone when you try to bring these feelings up to him. You really wanted to refrain from seeming like a toxic girlfriend. Overanalyzing and overthinking his every move and interaction.

But it was so fucking hard not to. Your painful emotions and negative beliefs stemming from past trauma seem to resurface.

Maybe you should learn to be a bit more trusting. Sunwoo isn’t like your exes.

But what if he is?

You should try to communicate with him more. But you feel like it’s an endless conversation because you have so much baggage.

You don’t think Sunwoo could rid of his natural flirtatiousness just for you, or avoid his friends.

He honestly doesn’t know what to do anymore. He’s reassured you one, two many times and he honestly doesn’t like being nagged at or seeing you lose your mind like this.

Maybe you could use time apart. And maybe he could learn to be a little less selfish and take into more consideration your feelings about his actions.

But he doesn’t.

Your throat feels tight and dry, feeling like you’re being swallowed whole from the negative thoughts that consume you.

It’s one of those nights where you feel the relationship anxiety is too much to handle.

You’re already in bed with Sunwoo. His mind is focused on the tv that’s playing, and your back is facing his body, curled up distantly in the corner under the covers with eyes staring into nothing.

You don’t even realize when you start crying. Hot tears pool your eyes and begin to fall out. Your breath shakes quietly and you can’t help but stir under the covers as you let your emotions get the best of you once again.

This is so common in the relationship at this point, almost like a routine. Sunwoo knows you have your moments like this and he never knows what to do anymore.

All he can bring himself to do is turn up the volume on the tv a bit, trying his best to ignore the way his heart pings at hearing your shaky breathing and quiet weeping.

Another sleepless night.

———————————————————————————

When you wake the next morning, you feel the familiar front-form of Sunwoo’s body against your back, spooning you. His arms were wrapped around your stomach, holding your body securely against his own,

You honestly aren’t surprised that you ended up like this. No matter how upset, pissed, or alone you felt, you still managed to end up in his arms at some point throughout your sleep when you shared a bed together.

His soft snores fill your ears in the silent morning to greet you upon your wake.

Your eyes begin to water from the feeling of his embrace, tears once again falling down your cheeks.

Your hands that were resting next to your head go to wipe away your tears, but Sunwoo begins to stir at the feeling of your movement.

You bite your lip, hoping he doesn’t catch you crying again. You know he hears you when you cry occasionally at night, having grown familiar to it by now. But you crying in the morning before even having breakfast would be a bit ridiculous.

A moan leaves his throat at his sudden wake, and he stretches his legs for a couple seconds before craning his head to look at you.

Your hands covered your face in attempt to shield your current state, but he saw a tear fall down your chin.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Sunwoo sighs deeply, face softening while his hands go to reach for your own, pulling them down to reveal your face in full.

Your teary eyes meet his face, boring into his own eyes. Your mouth stayed tight while more tears came out, burning down your skin and falling onto your shirt as you meet his gaze.

You honestly didn’t know why you were crying now. Maybe cause’ he’s dealt with all your baggage and it seems like it’s a never-ending cycle of unpacking it. You’re putting him through a lot and he still is always right by your side.

You don’t want to drag this shit out any longer. You’re tired of fucking with his head and it’s breaking your heart to keep breaking his again.

Your insecurities, anxieties, and fucked up head are trying to ruin another relationship of yours. Are your feelings even valid? Should you still have these toxic feelings even after Sunwoo reassures you and still shows that he loves you?

You can’t do anything except roll over to where you’re now facing him, and burry yourself into his chest. Tears continue to fall, and you’re whimpering again, causing Sunwoo’s heart to crack and his own eyes start to get blurry from tears welding up.

“I’m sorry.” you apologized to him. For your constant breakdowns and getting in your head too much. You knew it was too much.

“I’m sorry, too.” his voice comes out shaky.

He kisses the top of your head as you nuzzle further into his arms. Sunwoo tries to blink away his tears but they’re starting to flood in his eyes. He doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for.

For ignoring you and giving you space even though he probably shouldn’t have.

For playing with your feelings like an idiot when he goes out, and leaving you on delivered for hours.

For coming across as too friendly when he speaks to other girls, whether on purpose or not— who fucking knows.

And maybe you’d rather not know for sure.

You give yourself strength to pull away from his embrace, looking up at his own watery eyes that mirrored your own in holding so much weight and tiredness.

Without speaking further, your pupils trails down to his swollen lips from sleep. They dilate, in becoming entranced by how beautiful your boyfriend is, even when he looked exhausted.

You want nothing more than to just kiss him right now. To escape your heavy thoughts with the feeling of his lips against your own. Even if it’s just for a moment.

Your boyfriend doesn’t even have to hear you verbally express what you want, as he already knows what you want after every overwhelming night.

Your fingers combed through his messy black hair, fixing his bangs across his forehead and then going to rest on his nape.

He hums at the feeling, and leans into your face, enveloping his lips with your own. Each of your lips are soft, yet chapped and plump from sleeping.

Your fingers clutch his strands of hair gently, as the kissing develops into making out. You two go from laying on each of your sides, facing one another, to Sunwoo laying on his back with you straddling his lap.

The kisses grow more hungry and full of lust. Sunwoo is craving for your body to rest and dance against his own under the sheets. He nips at your bottom lip and lets his wet tongue in when you part your mouth.

Kisses become sloppy when his dominant hand slips its way under your (his) t-shirt, fingers grazing over the flesh of your tummy. His fingers reach up to the underside of your breasts, causing you to mewl and unconsciously grind down over his crotch.

You lose yourself under Sunwoo’s mind-numbing touches and continue to kiss him ferociously.

Your nails dig into his scalp and his other hand moves to cup your ass. He begins to grow hard at the feeling of your ass cheeks through your boy shorts. Fingers also dance over your exposed legs and rub your skin soothingly.

You could never refuse Sunwoo’s touches. Your body stuck to him immediately like glue, whether you were happy with him or not. He made your mind go crazy, both in good and bad ways.

You didn’t want another relationship of yours to fall apart. You refused to break up again. You didn’t want to break up with him. You loved him. Though, loving was never easy.

Utter ecstasy courses your body when you guys intertwine and succumb together like this.

You love when he kisses and cuddles and fucks you so good that you forget all the bullshit that lives in your head rent free, and all the negativity that comes with your relationship.

If one day, things between you two end up crashing and burning, you hope he’d never regret you and think fondly of what you two had.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ͙⁺˚*･

#ericscroptop #the boyz #the boyz imagines #kim sunwoo #tbz sunwoo #sunwoo imagines #sunwoo x reader #sunwoo scenarios #sunwoo #sunwoo angst #tbz angst #tbz fanfic #kpop imagines #kpop angst #Spotify

[kindasleepywriter]

Bird of Prey - Chapter 10: Cold as Ice

Bird of Prey masterlist. Azriel x Reader.

Chapter summary: An unexpected provocation reveals a hidden part of you.

Story rating: Mature - Minors DNI

Warnings: None.

Word count: 1.7k

You were honestly starting to wonder what kind of magic was infused into the city’s water supply. Couldn’t there be a single day where nothing happened, where you got to just live without another unprecedented event taking place?

Velaris didn’t follow the rules of statistical probabilities and it upset you to no end. The impossible amount of mating bonds, the general number of all-powerful magic wielders, and now the appearance of your apparently hidden gifts… Maybe that’s why the rest of the world was so bleak, it all had to be balanced out somehow.

A break was all you wanted. Some sleep, maybe. Time to read a book.

Instead, immediately after realizing you had summoned your own shadows, Azriel had brought you to a small house that bordered the city, explaining along the way the Night court’s tentative alliance with Eris. The Vansera hadn’t exactly been kind to you during your stay in Autumn, a high contender for the title of the brother you hated most, but you knew he wasn’t completely on board with the way Beron handled his court… despite following his every order. Except for Jesminda, of course. Even he had found it unnecessarily cruel. What happened to her… you still had nightmares about her death, about your screams and Lucien’s broken pleas for mercy.

Now that you knew Eris wanted to overthrow Beron… Well, you couldn’t help but wonder how long he’d been planning for this. He’d alerted Tamlin of the hunt three of his brothers had embarked on after you and Lucien fled, saving both of your lives, but he’d never shown any ounce of concern for either of you before then.

You didn’t know what to think, and you found comfort in the fact that he was still under tight surveillance in the city.

As for your powers, you’d spent the afternoon trying to summon shadows with Azriel’s help, but you were faced with the same absence of power inside you. The frustration you’d felt had only multiplied, feeling like you did during your childhood training, just an utter disappointment to others. You’d gone to bed with an empty stomach, unable to choke down food while stewing in your self-hatred. This was just another thing you were bad at, another proof of your worthlessness. None of Az’s encouragements had even made a dent in the storm cloud that seemed to follow you around.

With your tentative approval, Azriel had asked Nesta to come help the day after, explaining that perhaps the way she summoned her powers would be more useful. Apart from Cassian, she was the only one who you’d interacted with, without too many problems. Your time together in the House of Wind had mostly consisted of silence, but you preferred that over her mate’s incessant chatter.

You hadn’t made any more progress with her .

You sat crossed legged on the living room floor across from the Valkyrie, who mirrored your position. You were exhausted from the mental strain, body tensed so tight that your muscles ached, not to mention the headache gradually turning into a full-blown migraine. This felt useless.

“It’s like trying to bucket water from a dry well.” you gritted through clenched teeth, your frown a permanent fixture since the day before. “I’ve tried every manner known to man to access my supposed powers. They’re not there.”

Nesta tutted. “You need to stop thinking about it as some pocket inside you that you need to reach. It’s a part of your very being and you don’t need to ‘find it’, you need to find the way to wield yourself as a weapon.”

Your fists clenched so hard you felt the familiar burn of your fingernails digging into your palms, a hint of metal hanging in the air. You had all the theoretical knowledge about having magical abilities, you’d heard it a million times before from too many people. The only thing you felt was exasperation simmering into anger.

“I know that Nesta,” you muttered, “but this is useless. I’m not one of you guys, I’m no more useful than a well-trained hound could be. That fact has been shoved in my face my entire life and it’s all I’ve ever been, you’re both wasting your time trying to make me come up with abilities I don’t truly have.”

“Okay, this pity party stops here.” she hissed, done with your self-hatred. You opened your eyes in shock when you felt her moving towards you rapidly. You didn’t even have time to react before she forcibly opened your hands, revealing the drops of blood that slowly dripped from your palms, and shoved you backwards to the ground. You tried to fight against her grip, but she held you in a position of weakness, your legs pinned in their crossed position.

“Nesta, what-” you heard Azriel call, unable to complete his sentence.

“You are going to take the stick out of your ass and stop acting like a child!” she snapped close to your face. “Do you think I care about your daddy issues? Get over yourself and listen.”

“Let go, Nesta.” you warned, your anger fully taking flame as you tried to roll over her. How dare she try to make light of what happened to you? You carried your past like you carried your wings, every second of your life was shadowed by it. “You don’t know what you’re talking about!” you yelled.

The way Azriel was watching this unfold so casually didn’t go unnoticed and only fueled the flames inside you. A little help would’ve been appreciated, but you both knew you’d never be able to ask for it. Maybe that was exactly why he didn’t help, you thought.

“You think you’re the only who’s had a difficult life?” Nesta continued, “That we all lived in grand castles and mansions drinking tea until you arrived? We’ve starved, died, sacrificed it all for Prythian, for our own. Some of us died fighting Amarantha and Hybern while you hid in your little caves. You can hate the Inner Circle all you want, but your excuses don’t mean a thing to me when you’ve been sitting on your ass for centuries whining about your life.”

Blood pounded in your ears, drowning out all other sounds, and you saw red. You finally managed to kick your legs free with a hiss and hooked one around her hips, using the force of your wings to propel your movement forward as you flipped her under you. You twisted your hands out of her grip, all pretense of niceness long gone, and pinned her wrists above her while your knees held her legs down.

“You think I wanted to stand by?” you shouted, so close to her face your noses almost touched. “You think I reveled in the fact that the entirety of Prythian was under siege? Every day I saw people die, every day I wanted to skin Amarantha and Hybern alive, but no one wanted me. Autumn would’ve sold me out in a minute, the Illyrians wanted me dead, and Dawn had already kicked me out! Any place I went, I would’ve been a big red target for people to attack, and I couldn’t take Amarantha and Hybern down alone with my little dagger, don’t you get that? I couldn’t. do. SHIT.”

Your grip on her tightened when she grinned at your words, the picture of satisfaction as you heaved in fury over her. This wasn’t a joke! You couldn’t believe the audacity she’d shown, the disrespect. Did she think making an enemy of you would fix this shitshow? If aggression is what she wanted, she’d get it.

“No abilities, huh?” she said, sarcasm dripping from her every word as your hold on her tightened even more. Any tighter and you knew you’d feel her delicate wrists snap under your fingers, and you were tempted to do so. She looked up to where you clutched her wrists. “Could’ve fooled me.”

You glanced up and gasped. Your hold on her was burning, an icy dance of white flames travelling over her skin and yours, the wood underneath charring from the cold. Her skin remained untouched, as did yours, but the feeling of warmth in your fingers was rapidly leaching away, the circulation of your hands clearly taking a hit.

You jumped back in shock, the flames ceasing the instant you let go of her and scrambled away from her on your ass so fast your wings and head crashed against the wall behind you. A sharp pain shot through your skull and back, echoes of past pains resonating within you again.  

“What the hell was that?” you cried, shaking off your disorientation and flexing your hands as you tried to get blood running through them again. It was like you’d dunked them in icy water, and the floor was even worse off. When you’d released her, the movement against the iced surface had caused it to break into chips of wood, frozen pieces of the blackened floor scattered everywhere.

Azriel rushed over to you, taking your icy hands in his own, trying to bring back some warmth in them.

You barely even noticed; your now watery eyes still fixed on the destruction before you.

“That, my dear, is power,” Nesta snickered and brushed herself off, “more specifically, my power.”

You didn’t understand, your mind grasping at straws trying to comprehend what had just happened. “Was that you?”, you asked shakily.

“Oh no, that was all you.”

If you thought you were confused before, you were absolutely lost now. “But how could I, how did I… What?” you stuttered. You’d been the cause of the floor’s damage, the frozen wood still emitting a cold smoke.

Azriel, who was still holding and rubbing your hands softly as feeling gradually returned to them, turned to you. “I think we’ve been approaching it all wrong.” he said, realization clear in his voice. He laughed slightly. “This must be why you couldn’t produce abilities of your own, Dove. You don’t have your own source of power, because you’re able to bend someone else’s to your will.”

“But what does that mean?” you pleaded, still unable to grasp the implications of it. Was that why you’d been able to summon the shadows, to create that barrier of storm, to burn a door handle, but how could you, without touching the person who provided their magic? Azriel, Feyre, Lucien… they’d all been in your proximity when you’d wielded their powers.

Azriel chuckled more at your question. “It means Rhysand is going to have an aneurysm.”

nothing says "relaxing" quite like your roomate taunting you in a blind rage

Banner created by the amazing @saradika!

Taglist: @sapphenaa @minnieoo @weasleyreidstyles

#azriel x reader #azriel #acotar #acotar x reader #acotar fanfic #azriel fanfic #azriel POV #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #enemies to lovers #bird of prey

[cornerstoreclown]

Laundry Day

Summary: This is a short one-shot (2830 words, approx.) where the Reader (Gender Neutral) has an undomesticated killer clown stopping by infrequently to use their shower and get his clothes cleaned. Some light domesticity, which is quite a feat, given this wild guy!

Trigger warnings: None this time, unless you really don’t like laundry, which is understandable. 

Author’s notes:  This was absolutely the first thing I wrote on a whim while trying to find my feel for Art. It feels very much like a toddler trying to learn to walk, so bear with me. Likes and reblogs are appreciated! It would be nice to know I’m not just filling up an empty room with no one in it. I hope to do some NSFW soon! 

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Art was kind of hard to pin down. For anyone to really pin down, honestly. Those that knew him feared him, except you.

You can’t remember the exact date, but it was last year in October, and it was in the final week of the month, you think. That’s when you met him–that strange black and white clown who didn’t utter a single word. He was dressed up walking around the streets with a giant black trash bag slung over his shoulder. It was hard to miss him–he was covered head to toe in gore and dirt and mud. Poor thing looked miserable, and the wet flopping sounds of his shoes as he walked sounded a little uncomfortable. 

Very clearly you can recall when he laid his eyes on you, and the way that he looked like he wanted to tear you apart, limb from limb. He approached you, and you hadn’t moved. Even when he stood a few mere inches away from you, then made the choice to jump at you to try and see if you flinched, nothing. That made him curious. Why didn’t you react? Most shrieked in horror or resorted to slinging insults. 

“I… Have a washer and dryer back at my place. You wanna use it?” You asked him. 

It was that single question that changed the trajectory of your entire life. 

 You didn’t have an ounce of self-preservation in your body that night, and to this day, you still don’t. Some things didn’t change. 

Pan over to present time, months upon months later, where you’re in the same spot as you were the night that he took you up on that offer, sitting on a tiny stool in the laundry room with some clothes you were folding to put into the basket in front of you, spacing out until you hear the sounds of someone approaching. The bare footsteps are ones that you recognize, and you’re confirmed in your suspicions when you see him wearing nothing but a cotton white towel and his standard makeup. It was a little weird seeing him out of his outfit at first, but you’re used to it by now, and so is he, at you seeing him like this. 

Evil was taking up residence in the vessel of a fleshy body that donned black and white. At first you wondered if he was human, but the longer you both spent together, you soon came to realize that he was something supernatural, and the more knowledge you had, the more questions it gave you. Why of all people, did he let YOU live? What did he see in you? 

Art could have killed you. You knew this, and he knew this. It was a mutual understanding, but where else could a notorious killer have a place to hide, rest, have laundry done, take a shower, and eat all in one place without a care? You didn’t get in his way, and while you weren’t necessarily a murderer, you were at the very least complicit by giving the stray and feral clown a sort-of-but-not-really home. 

“Hey, buddy! You look great.” You flash him a smile. “Feel better after the shower?” You’re never short of amazed at how he manages to keep his makeup so pristine. It always seemed to be in a flawless condition, even when he was looking rough. 

Art takes a few seconds, raises his hands out wide to his sides to express how refreshed and brand new he feels, then drops them, giving an enthusiastic nod, eyes closed as he shows an even wider smile. You can see the flash of his teeth that look like they haven’t been brushed for at least... a while. He then brings his hands up to the front of him and gives a gentle clap, interlacing his fingers thereafter. The clown then gives you a few hopeful blinks and an innocently pleading look with a tilt of his head, looking at you, and then the washer and dryer. 

“Oh, no,” You laugh. “It’s not ready yet. Still isn’t done with the wash cycle. You got your clothes really bloody, Art.”

And just like that, the puppydog-like eyes Art has been giving you disappear as he scoffs silently and impatiently. The clown’s arms go to fold across his chest. 

“How many people did you kill exactly to get it that messy, Art?”

He gives a shrug and a turn of his head, as if asking for you to guess. 

“Two?” 

He gives you a ‘more’ gesture, hand held out and fingers wiggling which would otherwise look like he was telling you to come closer. 

“Three?”

He’s still indicating for you to keep going. 

“Four? Five?”

He raises his hand and tells you to stop, raising his finger. 

“Five?” 

A shake of his head no. 

“Four, then.” 

He points at you. You genius, you! You got it right! He’s smiling now again, clearly proud. He even gently claps for you. 

“Yeah, that makes sense.” You answer. You’re not really feeling one way or another about it. The initial shock has kind of worn off. You stare down at the clothes in your lap briefly when you see Art staring down at the basket. 

“Yeah. I’m doing my own laundry. Folding it is a little bit of a pain, but I’m almost done.” And it’s true, you were very meticulous with folding. Normally you’d just have your clothes in the basket and unfolded, but you were trying to be a little more diligent instead of just fishing out what you washed the week before and putting it on. You’ve been struggling a little doing it, too.

The clown begins to approach you, and is rather leisurely at that. He’s relaxed and in his element here, familiar with the environment. 

Familiar with you. 

That makes your heart flutter a little, your mind in a daze that’s short lived, because Art is now close enough to you that you have to give him your full attention. Sometimes you still wonder if each time he visits will be the last time, and that one day he gives into that irresistible longing which ends with him pulling your intestines out of your lower abdomen like he were performing one of those endless magic scarf tricks. He’s thought about it, and while he hasn’t told you, you know. Maybe it’s a kind of unexplained psychic link that you swear you have with him nowadays, or maybe it’s just the simple fact that at the end of the day, he is what he is at his core–a predator. And you’re just prey. 

You tense up a little when he leans down in front of the basket of folded clothes, and you watch him come close. 

“Oh, you want to.. Help me fold clothes?” 

He doesn’t answer, instead lifting up the laundry basket in front of you, and before it fully registers in your head what he’s doing, it’s already too late.

“Hey–No, no, Art, don’t–!”

Almost thirty minutes of folding, spilling right on top of you as you were about to stand up and try to stop him. Piece after piece of clothing falls on you, around you, and all around at your feet from where you’re sitting. You even see him pretend as if it was all by accident, looking shocked, even as he tosses the laundry basket off to the side where the plastic container hits the wall and clatters to the floor. He likes to be funny sometimes, but other times, it’s like he’s testing you. 

Your heart rate immediately speeds up and your muscles tense as frustration makes your blood simmer. But it dies just as quickly as it rises, a flame snuffed out as he watches for your reaction, as if wanting to see if you’d let your anger get the best of you. As if that’d give him incentive to strangle you with one of your own sweatshirts, should things go south. 

He was a jokester at heart, and that was part of who he was. Often when he was here, he’d ruin something because he’d think it was funny, or he’d just be generally chaotic and straight up unhinged. One time a few dishes were broken, then one day he brought home a half chewed on rabbit you think he caught, a few months ago he took your entire collection of knives that you used for cooking, no doubt to stab and murder someone with. You remember that he took all your razors from your bathroom too. Another time, he took your toaster? Literally just walked out of the house with it in that Mary Poppins black trash bag of his. What was yours was also his when he came to visit, and at the end of the day, you know it was better that he fucked with the things in your house instead of you. In this instance, it was something less offensive than destruction or theft–he just foiled your attempt at trying to be a little better with your clothes. 

Instead, you just sigh, and look up at him. He’s tilted his head back, mouth open wide, eyes closed, pointing at you, silently laughing hysterically. You just know that if he had a voice, it would be bouncing off the walls right now.

Your lips thin out into a small line, lifting upwards into a faint but tired smile. Art was always a reminder to you to maybe not take things so seriously… After all, you might not wake up tomorrow. 

“Funny.” You give a soft chuckle. Art is now slapping his knees as he’s leaned forward, still pointing at you. He’s got some audacity, you think, standing there in nothing but a towel, but you just shake your head and keep your smile present. You’re not going to go back to trying to refold the clothes. So much for trying, you’re just going to shove them haphazardly in your basket and put it on your bedroom floor and keep pulling from it until there’s practically nothing left. Fuck that. You tried, and therefore no one could criticize you. 

A hand with wiggling fingers is out in front of your face suddenly, and when you glance up, Art is now looking down at you. You take his hand with no hesitation, knowing that if you only rejected him, he’d keep putting his hand in your face until you listened. When you take hold of it, his grip is tight. Tight to the point where it’s almost painful. He yanks you up to your feet out of the pile of clothes and you have no choice but to glance up at him. He’s taller than you, standing at what you guess is a little over six feet tall. Being so close to him always manages to take your breath away at some point. 

“Thanks, Art.” 

He gives you a pat on the shoulder, then grips it firmly to where it hurts a little, and gives you a few gentle shakes before letting you go. It’s a little jarring, but you’re fine with it. You still keep your expression pleasant, and had your hand rested overtop of his until he decided to let go. You give a few laughs. 

“Hey, I didn’t get the chance to ask you right away when you came in, but where is your friend? Is she okay?” 

The little girl.

Sometimes she was here, sometimes she wasn’t. She left messes of her own in your house, and they were often unsavory ones that you weren’t sure what they were, and you didn’t like dwelling on them. Liquids, mysterious chunks of sticky substance, among other things. Art however, thought she was a high class comedian, and so you went with it. She meant well in her own way, you suppose. But like all children, she had a habit of getting into things she didn’t need to be in. It was just another level of stress for you, so as much as it’s a relief that she’s not here right now, you still can’t help but worry a little. That was Art’s friend. She brought him joy. And what made Art happy was good. 

The clown’s demeanor shifts a little at that, to which he stares at you for a few seconds before once again asking for your hand, to which you give him it. This time, the grip is much tighter than the one he used to pull you up with. This is the same kind of grip that you just know was amplified even further to rip open torsos and rip faces clean off to the bone. You feel fortunate that he’s shown restraint, and that he cares enough for you to deliberately not want to hurt you. He leads you from the laundry room to the next room over–the living room. Your living room. 

The living room is pretty plain and standard, the main attraction being the couch, coffee table, and what he’s gesturing towards in front of both of those things–the flat screen. 

“Oh, the television! Yeah, of course.”

He sits you down on the couch first, before seating himself. He reaches for the remote on the table and surfs the channels until it lands on the news, displaying the show of a cleaned up scene of the crime stained with blood out on a neighborhood street from what you recognize is the next county over. 

LOVING FAMILY MAN FOUND DEAD OUTSIDE OF ESTATE, the headlines read, before going on about how a man was found outside of his home, arms chewed on and with a few pens jammed through his eyes straight into his skull. Following the details, there’s the show of a single tiny hat, one that you immediately recognize that would have a pigtail jutting out of it. 

So, that’s where she was. Did anyone actually see her? Could she only kill people that could see her? There was no sketch provided, nor is it seeming as if there's any sense of awareness as to who the hat belonged to in the news report. You knew that she was selectively visible to certain people, but what determined that? Art can’t help but silently laugh and point at the screen, going so far as to reach out over to you to show you the answer to your question, and most certainly for you to also appreciate his friend’s handiwork. You laugh out of politeness, though you’re not really feeling one way or the other about it. Your head is swirling with questions as you try to figure out the logistics of the case. Was that actually her hat? 

Just as soon as the news of the murder was on the television, it moved on. Local news tended to not dwell on topics for too long. They had a list of updates to go through and a short time to allot for it. 

“Stay tuned for the upcoming documentary on the infamous terror on the streets every October–The Miles County Clown. We suspect he’s back. More at eight.” The news reporter says. 

Art enthusiastically points at the television while looking at you, and you give him a nod of acknowledgement. 

“Glad you’re getting the attention you deserve.” You tell him, and he gives you an incline of his head and a smile, before showing how pleased he is with the chef's kiss gesture. You actually do genuinely laugh at that. His body language was always… Charming. 

Advertisements start playing and there’s just the weather and now national news up next until eight. During that time, Art reaches behind you and puts his arm on the top back part of the couch. While it’s not over your shoulder, you still feel enveloped by him all the same as you sit crisscross applesauce next to him, fiddling absentmindedly with your hair, fingernails, anything to keep you stimulated as the news prattles on. 

It was kind of nice. The intimacy and domesticity–if you could even call it that–which the two of you shared was a special one. You’ve seen him exposed like this, and he’s seen you dressed down in a similar fashion before. Neither of you thought much of it, but you at least would find your gaze wandering, and you’ve seen him do the same a few times in turn. The chemistry is undeniable. There’s something there. 

It was going to be maybe another thirty minutes until Art’s clothes are done in the wash and need to be moved over into the dryer. Just in enough time for the documentary on the Miles County Clown, who was right next to you. You start to feel a little tired, fatigue taking over you as you begin to, against your better judgment most certainly, lean against him a little to doze off briefly. 

And he lets you. 

The Miles County Clown has his hand on your back now, giving it a few gentle yet firm rubs before returning his arm on the top of the back cushion of the couch, intently watching the television. He might not be mortal, but you are, and he seems to understand that. 

Those thirty minutes of rest are going to come in handy for the level of attention you’ll need to give him when you wake up.

#terrifier 2 #art the clown #art the clown x reader #art the clown x you #terrifier #slasher x you #coulrophilia #minors dni #horror #slasher x reader #canon x reader

[mage-ical-character-person]

I’ve seen a lot of people bring up the pilot outfits in this scene and stuff, but never the fact that Charlie is out here looking for injured survivors of the extermination to bandage up. Like I can’t think of any other reason she’d be wandering around in an alleyway with bandages in her pocket right after the extermination.

Is Vaggie the only one she found that day? Did Vaggie follow her as she bandaged up others whose injuries she and her peers were responsible for? It’s just really intriguing and one of those small moments that says a lot.

Also this sort of brings to mind an instance of missed opportunity. Both the pilot and the first actual episode are supposed to take place shortly after an extermination, and I wish we’d seen Charlie doing this then, too. I know there was a lot of exposition to get out of the way in both cases to introduce the series, but still. Could’ve had that happening during Chasing Rainbows, with Charlie seeing the carnage up-close and doing everything she can to help instead of singing on a balcony, never in the same shot as the tragedy she laments.

And honestly when I watched Overture and she was singing Happy Day In Hell… like is it not the single worst day of the year, with the extermination, which motivates your whole… everything? If she were actively trying to make it a Happy Day in Hell during the song and, again, helping her people in the aftermath of the extermination that would be one thing. A much better introduction to her character is the thing it would probably be.

I like her boundless optimism better when it comes from a place of knowing more than one of ignorance and naivety, which is what Happy Day in Hell sort of feels like. It almost feels out of character in that way? She’s grown up in hell, spent her whole life among the carnage and the sinners, and her hope is most impactful when it’s framed with this.

If someone who’s known nothing but literal hell can believe there’s good in everyone, that really says something, and that’s what I love about Charlie. She’s seen the worst of the worst and believes in the best in people anyway. It’s almost funny to see the sinners doubt her when she knows better than anyone that there is always good to be found. She’s a living example that, like flowers growing through cracks in the concrete, positivity can take root anywhere. Characters like Alastor (as much as I love that freak) are frankly stupid to doubt her or think of her as naive. You think you know the nature of sinners better than someone who’s spent their entire ridiculously long life in hell, actively involving herself in the lives of her people? (Unlike her father, who despite being around since the beginning is a shut-in who avoids sinners)

So this scene in Vaggie’s backstory where Charlie is shown up close and personal with the people struggling in her realm, where she’s the shining embodiment of the good in the hostile: it’s a scene that’s very important for more reasons than it initially seems.

Not only is Charlie unknowingly showing Vaggie that what the angels say about hell is wrong by being the one to show kindness and mercy after those Vaggie trusted punished her for her own act of mercy, but it’s a great moment for Charlie’s character when we don’t often see her helping hell’s general population all that directly.

Anyway who wants to bet that in the years since they met Vaggie has joined Charlie as they search for and patch up survivors in the aftermath of the extermination? Because that would be really great I think and would be a great way to show how much things have changed for Vaggie.

So that’s that. I tend to latch on to random details so sorry for that long rant thing. This show has so many good ideas that I wish we saw more of. This was supposed to just be about that one scene and I got carried away.

EDIT: whoops Overture doesn’t take place on extermination day. Point still partially stands because extermination day was recent but yeah. I forgot. Sorry

#Hazbin Hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #hazbin hotel vaggie #long post

[frickingnerd]

two is better than one

pairing: ochako uraraka x gn!reader x nejire hado

summary: you confess to ochako and nejire, crushing on both of the girls at once...

it wasn't fair. deciding between ochako and nejire was an impossible choice! you've known nejire for longer now, but ochako was the one you had spent the most time with recently. but then again, nejire made you smile more often! but ochako had a really cute smile herself…

no, it was absolutely impossible to pick between the two of them. both of these girls were kind hearted heroes, who always made you feel better when you were around them. their smiles always lightened up your day and you couldn't imagine living without either of them! and you knew you had to tell them that…

the two girls had already confessed their love to you and had just been waiting to hear back from you, so when you invited them to meet you behind the school, they both expected to be the one you chose. you can imagine how confused they were when they saw each other there, before you arrived shortly after them…

"i don't mean to sound rude, but why is ochako here?"

nejire asked, being as blunt as usual. luckily, ochako didn't seem to take that question personally. after all, she had been wondering the same thing…

"i need to talk to both of you. after your confession, i was conflicted. i love both of you, but i can't just pick one. you both mean a lot to me and i wouldn't want to be without either of you…" 

your words didn't seem to get through to the two of them the way you had expected, instead raising a few more questions. 

"what does that mean, y/n…?"

ochako asked carefully, before glancing to the side and exchanging confused looks with nejire. 

"well… it means i want to be with both of you. if you're alright with that, of course…"

"in a relationship with both of us…?"

ochako asked carefully, just to make sure she got this right. honestly, that thought had never crossed her mind before…

"yes!"

"it does sound nice..!"

nejire chirped in, quickly taking interest in the idea. 

"i've been in love with y/n for a while now, but i do like you too, ochako. i wouldn't want you to get hurt, neither would i want to get hurt because of this. but the three of us have always been getting along, haven't we? i don't think changing the label of our relationship would be such a bad thing!"

ochako's cheeks flushed at nejire's words. being in a relationship with two people at the same time? those two had always been her friends, so it truly wouldn't change that much. only now she'd get to also hold hands and kiss the most important people in her life. 

"i– i think i like how that sounds…!"

#ochako uraraka x reader #ochako x reader #nejire hado x reader #nejire x reader #nejire hado #uraraka x reader #uraraka ochacho #nejire hado x ochako uraraka #oneshot #drabble #x reader #fluff #confession #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #x you #x y/n #x gn reader #ochako #nejire #hado #uraraka

[charlywrites]

Requested by anon

Request; Hey, can you write one for lando Norris where you’ve is streaming and wants you to join him :)

Warnings; none, it’s all cute and fluffy <3

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

You had known Lando for quite some time before you started to know each other, he was a friend of a friend which was the reason you met a couple of times. What made you bond almost instantly when you finally had a proper conversation was your love for gaming.

The two of you didn’t necessarily play the same games but that passion for gaming still brought you together. That’s why you first exchanged your numbers, so you could play together some time when he’d be free.

That day you two played together, even if you didn’t see each other, it was one of the best day you had in a while. You didn’t win that much, but the fun you had was better than any win you could have gotten.

It didn’t take long before Lando and you would play every time he had a day off, it didn’t matter which game it was as long as you were playing together. But it didn’t stop there, you’d text each other a lot- well, it was almost always Lando who would send the first text.

You were aware of how busy his schedule was and it was a fear of yours to bother him when he had things way more important to do- you never clearly told him but you felt like he somehow knew how you felt.

The next week off Lando had, he invited you over to his place, so you could test out his driving setup- you two had talked about physically meeting again soon before, but you never thought he would actually invite you over.

When you saw his setup with your very own eyes, you couldn’t lie and say you didn’t feel a tiny bit jealous- he truly had the dream setup anyone could dream off.

After testing out his driving setup, where Lando had a good laugh at watching you struggle in the game, you ended up playing some silly games he had collected lately to play with you.

At the end of the day, or more exactly the night, you didn’t want to leave- it would feel like this was over and you didn’t want that. You had never felt this comfortable with someone, even if you didn’t know Lando for that long.

It seemed like Lando was feeling the same way as when you were about to leave he asked you to stay for the night- at first you didn’t understand what he meant, you only realized when he kissed you and said that he didn’t want that day to end.

After that, in a way, you never truly left as you two started dating and you would always hang out with Lando when he was home- and when he wasn’t and your job allowed you to do so, you’d take the first plane to join him wherever he was in the world for his races.

It only took roughly two months before Lando officially asked you to move in with him, at that point, you already had quite a bunch of your things at his place. It honestly felt like some kind of dreams, how everything was going on so well in your life, how happy and loved you felt.

———

So far, Lando hadn’t made the relationship official to the public, but you didn’t hide your relationship neither. People had seen you together on race week-end, it was only up to them to think you were together, or not.

Lando had a week off for the first time in a while, and while you had plans for most of the week, the ones for today had to get cancelled due to the poor weather and heavy rain- instead you were staying home.

The two of you spent most of the day catching up on a tv show you both loved, after that Lando asked you if you were okay with him doing a stream as it wasn’t planned and hadn’t done one in a while- you didn’t mind in the slightest, you knew how much he loved streaming.

After a kiss and telling him to have fun, you hanged around the living room, busying yourself with your phone- whether it was scrolling through your feeds or playing some games when you weren’t watching silly videos.

This went on for a little while until Lando joined you- arching a brow, you were surprised that he had already finished his stream, they were much longer usually, “ babe, I messed up.”

Now that explained why he looked so embarrassed, almost shy even, you questioned him to know what he was talking about, “ what happened?”

“ I was reacting to some videos and I accidentally said that go get you because you were going to love the video.”

“ So, they know now?”

“ I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, there was no need to apologize, they had to know at some points and it wasn’t going to change anything, “ don’t apologize, it’s fine. I’m sure some of them already had guessed.”

“ You know how amazing you are, right? I love you so much but I need to go back to the stream now.”

You laughed- of course he didn’t cut the stream short and made his viewers wait after dropping such a bomb, “ i’m not even surprised!”

“ Do you, maybe, want to watch that video?”

“ It better be worth it.”

Lando knew you way too well, as soon as he showed you the video- it made sense why he got excited and let it slip that you were his girlfriend, it was the exact kind of videos that would make you laugh until you’d get tears in your eyes.

In the end, you stayed on the stream to react to the rest of the videos with your boyfriend as his stream had been welcoming to you. You wouldn’t have imagined making your relationship official would ever go so smoothly, and in all honesty, you couldn’t be happier.

To finish the stream, Lando suggested to play a video game for a little bit, as he started the game, he started bragging about how good you were at this game, “ trust me, you don’t want y/n as your opponent, she’ll kick your butt.”

“ Ah, come on Lando, I’m not that good.”

“ Don’t be modest love, you carry most of our games!”

“ I don’t, we’re just a really good team.”

#lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #x reader #mclaren #request

[michelleleewise]

I have another request!

Loki x Female Plus size reader

Maybe some angst after a proposal where the reader distances herself from Loki because she’s feeling, or someone made her feel, less than enough and too much at the same time. She’s been convinced he might wake up some day and realize he could have had someone else that’s prettier and smaller. Fluff or something mildly spicy to fix it up though! Its just something that has always ran through my mind when I’m feeling low on the self esteem side of things…

Feel free to change whatever!

I love this! Thank you so much for sending it to me!! I really really hope you like it!! 💚💚💚💚

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enough

Pairing: Loki x plus-size readed

Warnings: self esteem issues, self deprecating behavior, angst to fluff, bit of crying, sadness, happy ending of course

Summary: Loki quickly became one of the most popular avengers, having redeemed himself, saving countless lives. When he proposed, you were the happiest woman alive, but you had a hard time not letting those voices get to you.

You sat behind the counter looking at your ring. The emerald always seemed to shine brighter under the florescent lights. You smiled, remembering the night Loki proposed, seeing the God as nervous as a school girl warming your heart. "Hey y/n, your boy toy is here." You heard Susie as you looked up, seeing Loki making his way into the bookstore, a crowd of women flocking behind him as he smiled. He always told you how unusual the attention felt, and you always kissed him and told him he deserved it.

"So tell me, it doesn't bother you that all those women follow him around?" She asked leaning on the counter. "No, why would it?" You asked watching them. "Because y/n, look at them, they would do literally anything to snag him, and they're all gorgeous." She said sighing. "Well no, I know Loki is mine, and I'm his." You said looking at her. "Well, I don't see a city of men following you around" She said as you looked down. "Sorry. I didn't mean...."She started "No it's fine, your right. I honestly don't even know why he's with me." You whispered as she rubbed your arm. "Because your kind, and sweet, and loving, and you are very pretty." She smiled as you nodded.

"Darling, sorry I'm late." You heard as Loki came around the counter hugging you as you squeezed his middle. "Everything alright?" He asked looking down at you "yes, now that your here." You smiled as he leaned down kissing you. "My brother asked if we wanted to join him for lunch, I told him I would ask you." He smiled. "I would love to." You said grabbing your bag, not letting go of his hand as you both walked out of the store.

"Loki, y/n, over here." You heard Thor say as he waved. Holding Loki's arm you walked to the table sitting down. "Were you mobbed again brother? I can't even make it down the street anymore." Thor laughed as you sat playing with Loki's fingers. You loved touching him, it was your love language, if you were around him, you were touching him. "Yes, I've never had people throw themselves at me like this before. I may just teleport everywhere from now on." They both laughed. "And y/n, how are you?" Thor asked as you smiled "oh I'm good, just a long day at work." You sighed lacing your fingers with Loki's.

"You two could almost be the same person." Thor laughed looking at you "what do you mean?" You smiled "whenever you two are together, it's hard to tell where you end and he begins." He laughed again as you giggled nervously seeing Loki look down, shifting in his seat. Did he not like you touching him so much? You thought he did. Loki walked you back to work where you spent the rest of the day overthinking your conversation with Thor. Was Loki just humoring you? Were you irritating him. "Hey Susie, you've seen me and Loki together, do you think I....touch him alot?" You asked as your thoughts began to spiral. "Well, you do have your hands on him alot, but who wouldn't." She laughed "He just doesn't seem like a touchy kinda guy to me." She shrugged walking off.

Your thoughts were all over the place. Maybe he didn't like it? Why hadn't he said anything? Were you being too much? Your mind looping over and over. "Hey look, it's your man." Susie said bringing her phone over, seeing Loki being filmed by someone, surrounded by women on the street, wearing that perfect smile of his. You heard several of them ask him out, others asking for just a night with him as you slowly deflated. "I'm not good enough for him am i?" You whispered as Susie looked at you "why would you say that?" She asked. "That's why. Look at them." You said pointing at her phone as a woman ran her fingers up his chest. "Y/n, your amazing, their just...." She started "perfect." You whispered. "I'm gonna head home, I'll see you tomorrow ok." You said walking out.

You got home, pulling your phone out seeing Loki had tried calling, you chose not to call him back deciding to shower. You sat on the couch as your phone dinged. Looking at it, it was a news story, the title slapping you in the face "Her......Really Loki?" Scrolling down seeing pictures from the restaurant the night he proposed, him kneeling in front of you. The first line of the article reading "He could have anyone, and he chose that.." made you throw your phone as tears streamed down your face. You decided to go to bed, picking your phone up as Loki called again....deciding it was best not to answer. You always felt like you weren't good enough for him, not pretty enough, or skinny enough, but you pushed those thoughts away everytime he told you he loved you, everytime he hugged you, kissed you. But the more attention he garnered from every woman in the city, you knew he would find someone better, more attractive, and your deepest fear would come to life, the day he realized your weren't enough for him.

You spent the next few days ignoring your phone. Loki had called several times, asking you to call him back, or message him, but you hadn't. He tried to come into the shop a few times, but you went to the back before he saw you, his mob of women distracting him. You sat on your couch, turning the ring he gave you in your hand. You hadn't spoken to him in days and it was killing you, but maybe if you let him go he could find someone worthy of him.

You heard a knock on the door, setting the ring on the table you went and opened it, seeing Loki standing there, had he been crying? "Y/n, why won't you talk to me? What have I done?" He asked as he looked at you, his eyes red and hair a mess. "Loki, I just...it's not you its..." you sighed looking down. "W..where is your ring?" He asked stepping closer. "It's on the table, i.." You started as he sunk to his knees, hugging your middle. "Love, whatever I've done, please tell me. I can't lose you." He said against your stomach as you pushed his hair back, seeing his shoulders shake slightly.

"It's not you Loki, you haven't done anything." You sighed looking at him. "Then what is it? Tell me please, I'll do anything." He said looking up at you. "Come inside and sit down." You said as he got up, sitting on the couch eyeing your ring. "D...do you not wish to marry me?" He asked quietly. "No, no I do! Its just, I'm not good enough for you Loki." You said sitting down. "Who said that!?" He demanded as his head snapped up. "Everyone Loki! Do you not see the news stories, and what people say about me!?" You yelled as your eyes burned. "No, I don't pay attention to those." He said. You grabbed your phone, pulling up the article you read "this....this is disgusting." He said setting the phone down.

"And its the beautiful women who follow you around, and Thor saying I touch you all the time and you didn't say anything, and just.....what if you wake up one day regretting me when you could have had someone better..... prettier." You said as you fidgeted with your hands as he scooted closer. "Darling, I will never, for the rest of my days, ever regret meeting you, loving you, and making you my wife." He said picking up the ring. "I wish you could see what I see when I look at you." He said twirling the ring around.

"W..what do you see?" You asked looking at him. "I see the most beautiful woman in all the realms, your kindness knows no limits, you give love in bounds, you have supported me and stood by my side through becoming an avenger and being here on Midgard, you have given me a reason to smile, to laugh. You give me a reason to look forward to waking up. Seeing your beautiful face smiling at me has given me a reason to try to be the best man that I can be, for you." He smiled cupping your cheek as tears streamed down your face. "I don't want anyone else, I never will. You own me y/n, no matter how I have tried to fight it, I am yours, and I always will be." He said, grabbing your hand sliding the ring on your finger. "L...loki....i.....I love you so much." You sobbed as he grabbed your hand.

"And the reason I didn't say anything with Thor is because I knew he was teasing me, which he enjoys doing." He laughed. "I never want you to not touch me, these hands hold so much love and care." He said holding your hands to his chest. "Please, never stop." He smiled. "I...I won't, I promise." You sniffled. "Y/n, will you still be my wife, please?" He asked looking at you as you lunged forward, wrapping your arms around his neck, him holding you to him. "Of course I will, I love you Loki and I always will." You sobbed into his neck as he buried his face in your hair "and I will love you forever my sweet girl." He breathed holding you tight. "You've made me the happiest woman alive." You said holding him. "Not as happy as I my love." He said, never wanting to let you go.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

*if you want tagged, or added to my permanent taglist let me know!! I'll be happy to add you!!! 😁💚

@vbecker10 @lokiprompts @lokisninerealms @lulubelle814 @sinsandguilt @commanding-officer @mcufan72 @midnights-ramblings @daggers-and-mischief @chickencouncilrep @buttercupbestie @cabingrlandrandomcrap @xorpsbane @lonadane

#loki #loki imagine #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki oneshot #loki fluff #loki angst #loki x plus size reader #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki x female reader #loki odinson imagine #loki odinson fanfiction #loki odinson oneshot #loki odinson x plus size reader #loki odinson x you #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson x y/n #loki odinson #loki odinson fluff #loki odinson angst #loki laufeyson imagine #loki laufeyson fanfic #loki laufeyson one shot #loki laufeyson x female reader #loki laufeyson x plus size reader #loki laufeyson x you #loki laufeyson x y/n #loki laufeyson x reader

[smartycvnt]

Better Off Dead

Title: Better Off Dead Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Summary: You and Dean have a little heart to heart. NR WC: 832

You had spent a long time trying to undo the damage that John Winchester had done in your life. His one visit to you had ended up giving you a healthy hatred of hunters. There were a few exceptions to your general feeling of the group, but those were few and far between. Most of the good ones had been picked off anyways. It was always the bad ones who tended to waltz into your life to fuck it up for a brief period of time. Dean Winchester had been a hard one to peg at first. You had immediately been distrustful of both him and his brother whenever they had shown up at your doorstep all those years ago, but you found yourself growing fond of him the more he popped up.

It didn't make any sense to you, but monsters seemed to gravitate towards you. You could move across the country and still end up in a town or part of a city riddled with some kind of monster. Sometimes they weren't really hurting anybody, but more often than not you ended up having to call it in to the Winchesters. Sometimes Sam came along with Dean, but lately, Dean had been coming on his own. You didn't mind, Sam was a good friend, but you doubted that it was all that fun to be around you and Dean whenever Dean flirted with you like he did. Especially whenever Sam had very obviously had a thing for you when the two of you first met.

"At this point, one of us needs to just follow you around," Dean joked as he jogged up towards your front porch. This was your fourth house in half as many years. The issue with this one had been an easy fix, which was nice because you couldn't afford to move again. People were getting suspicious, and honestly, you liked this town a lot more than you had expected to. So, you called Dean to take care of your demon next door problem and decided to really settle down here.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" The teasing back and forth had become a constant whenever you and Dean were around each other. Sometimes things stayed innocent, but other times they got a little heated. Dean rolled his eyes as he went in for a hug. You were more than happy to indulge him, hugging him back tightly before he pulled away. "You're looking a little soft, did you stop by Jody's before this?"

"Ha, ha, ha." Dean crossed his arms over his chest as you dragged him into your house. A soft smile made its way onto Dean's face as he looked around your house at all of the little touches of you there were inside of it. "Nice place you got here, not exactly how I'd decorate it, but it suits you."

"This is going to be my home, I just know it. One day I'm gonna have a family running around here, I'm going to make sure that John was wrong about me," you said. Dean's face fell as he remembered the words John had written by your name. It wasn't fair for John to declare you "better off dead" especially whenever you hadn't done anything other than exist. You were like Sam, the golden child of some demon who had come in and killed your parents. It wasn't as bad as Sam's demon, but you had been orphaned and nearly killed yourself multiple times because of it. Worst of all, you seemed to attract all sorts of creatures who wanted to help this demonic being claim their vessel.

"You've done a damn good job of doing that already." Dean's sincerity made your heart ache in a way that nobody else's could. There was always a sense of longing from him whenever the two of you had these moments. Neither of you acted on it, despite both of you desperately wanting to. Living your life to the fullest meant going after the things you wanted, so you decided to bite the bullet and go for it.

"You should stay for dinner tonight. Oh, and breakfast in the morning, I'm making pancakes," you told him. Dean perked up at the mention of food. "There's only really one finished bedroom, but it's okay, we can share."

"Share?" Dean questioned. "What kind of guy do you take me for?"

"Shut up and kiss me like you've been wanting to for the past seven years," you told him. Dean muttered something under his breath that you didn't quite catch, but still took you into his arms. In that moment, you were definitely glad that John hadn't killed you and that Sam had the idea of checking in on you to find out information whenever he read about you in the journal. Most of all, you were glad that they moved on from the idea that you were just a bloodstain in the life of John Winchester's life.

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #supernatural #supernatural x reader #my writing

[one-idea]

I honestly find it kind of funny that when you read the novels for Ace we find out that Deuce left home because of having bad grades in medical school and instead was wanting to be a writer by adventuring out to sea. Yet in some twist of fate he ends up being a doctor anyway

Honestly I have mixed feelings about this.

Because it is both funny but also sad and sweet at the same time.

He was a medical school drop out. He left his family, his past, his name, even his face behind because of the disappointment his family had in him and his dream. I’m sure he has a lot of hurt feelings tied to the field of medicine. Especially if his family were doctors, they don’t seem to be the kindest people to him.

I’m sure he left because he felt he could never measure up. He could never match them in skill. Never live up to the expectations and never be excepted for dreaming something different.

So he leaves it all behind to chase his dream.

And almost immediately dies.

If Ace hadn’t arrived of Sixis could Duece have found a way off?

But that doesn’t matter because Ace comes. And sure it’s a rough start but in the end Deuce leaves with the person who will change his life (whether you see them as romantic or not Ace changed his life forever) even giving Masked Deuce his new name. And he gives him the opportunity to chase his dream. To seek adventure and write his novel. And Deuce has to be so excited

But being a pirate is dangerous. People get hurt. And suddenly Deuce is in a position where instead of knowing the least about Medicine he knows the most. And that has to be terrifying for him. He’s a medical school DROP OUT he shouldn’t be trusted the patients! And yet here Ace is trusting him with his life and the life of their crew.

It has to be equal parts touching and terrifying to have that trust. Trust he feels like he can’t live up to. His family never would have believed in him like this, and yet they were also right not to do so. (In his point of veiw) a drop out should have patients.

Yet when they join the Whitebeards he is put under Marco in the medical division. If he was truly a failure as a medic they would have moved him. So either his skills improved with the Spades to the point where he o my needed some guidance from the Whitebeards or he was never truly a failure he felt he was in the first place. And maybe he just needed a different environment to learn in. Maybe the Whitebeards were better at teaching then his previous school. But either way there has to be so much resentment and self doubt in that field.

But also he left being a doctor behind to be an author. It’s his dream. Yet he puts it on the back burner for Ace. For their crew(s). I’m sure he still writes but that’s not his title on the boat. Imagine if Zoro’s goal was to be the world’s greatest swords man but he was known as the watchman because of how much time he spent in the crows nest. If that’s the only way the crew referred to him. How enemy’s saw him. Not the swordsman of his dreams but the job he did for the crew. It’s hard to sacrifice for the people around you. Especially with something that Ace must have trauma with.

It’s so fascinating and I wish more people would dig into him. He’s a great doctor. But his history with it and his conflicting dream make him fascinating to me.

#one piece #masked deuce #ace x deuce #acedeuce #portagas d. ace #fire fist ace #one piece ace

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Only the Strong Survive Ch. 6

Series Summary: Lexie Weston is in a terrible, abusive marriage. In her mind and soul, she feels like she has no way out that won't result in her death. But something changes in her life to make her take the risk. Can she rely on Sheriff Beau Arlen to protect her like he said he would, or will this risk lead to ruin?

Pairings: Beau Arlen x OFC (eventual)

Series Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut, Angst, Fluff throughout. A pretty slow burn, TW: Abusive marriage, Domestic abuse will be talked about throughout. Chapter warnings will be more specific

Word Count: 3,348

Chapter Summary: Y/N is starting to realize some exciting and scary truths.

Chapter Warnings: Not many in this chapter. Brief mentions of abusive relationships, and hard times.

A/N: So, this next chapter took almost an entire year to get out to those of you who've been enjoying this series. I apologize profusely, and can only blame it on my cruel muses, who stalled this story in my brain. But I'm very grateful to those of you who said kind things about the story and said you were looking forward to the rest. It's encouraging to have people say they want to hear more. (In a friendly, kind way, of course.) So thank you, and I don't think the next chapter will take another whole year. (Like six months, tops. 😜 JK! JK!)

Hope you enjoy Ch. 6!

P.S. This song features in the chapter - To Make You Feel My Love and I've linked the version I was imagining here. (Minus the cheering crowd, and with a singer I love EVEN more than Garth Brooks.)

The beautiful divider at the bottom was created by @saradika

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Lexi stood in front of the full length mirror and shook her head at her reflection for the dozenth time that day. She felt ridiculous.

“Ooh, you look so cute!”

Cicely Travis was beaming as she came up behind Lexi to squeeze her shoulders. The young, tall, brash, and outspoken woman had become a good friend to Lexi in the months that she’d been staying at Haven House. She was a decade younger than Lexi, but seemed to have lived four lifetimes in her mere quarter century of life. 

The women had shared some of their hardships with each other, but certainly not all, so Lexi only knew that Cicely had run away from home at thirteen to get away from her mom’s boyfriend, and that she’d spent some of the years since as a sex worker. It was one of the things she’d told Lexi right away. 

“I was a hooker and a stripper.” Cicely had told her out of the blue on only their second meeting. When Lexi had just blinked at her for a moment, Cicely had explained. “I’m not any more, but I like to tell people that right off, so that there’s no misunderstandings or issues down the road. I did what I did, and I’m not ashamed, so, if that’s gonna stop you being a friend, then I wanna know that now. You know, save us both time.”

Lexi had just shaken her head and shrugged. “I don’t care.” She’d said honestly. “We all survive and exist the best we can. Sucks being a woman sometimes.”

Cicely had snorted. “Damn right, sister.”

Since then the women had bonded over some shared hardships and the general shittiness of most of the men they’d known. Cicely had also been there for her as Lexi had proceeded through four more court dates over the last two months.

She hadn’t been asked to speak again, thank god, but the judge insisted on all her written and recorded accounts being read into the record. So four times she’d had to sit in the courtroom and listen to Marsha read out her words describing the abuse, or else listen to her own timid voice coming through a tinny recording as she recounted years worth of trauma. 

And every time, after getting a ride home from Beau complete with his encouragement that everything was going to work out, she went to Cicely’s room to commiserate about the day and to admit just how scared she was. She never wanted to admit her fears to Beau because she didn’t want to burden him more than she already had. But also, she didn't want him to think she was just this scared, trembling thing. 

He’d called her a warrior, and she wanted him to keep believing that.

But Cicely would listen, and then trash Simon and the judge and Simon’s lawyer endlessly. It felt very therapeutic to Lexi, and Cicely often made her laugh with her slightly crude, but always hilarious sense of humor. 

She was the perfect kind of friend for Lexi; someone non-judgmental, who was so brash and loud, and talkative, that it became impossible for Lexi to stay quiet and shy. Cicely just pulled her along in the conversation no matter what.

Now the younger woman smoothed down the back of the blue polyester robe that Lexi wore, before stepping in front of her to beam at her. 

“This is so stupid.” Lexi said for the hundredth time that day. “I look like the world’s oldest high school graduate.” She rolled her eyes.

Cicely shook her head. “Nah, don’t be silly.” She pulled the graduation robe tight across Lexi’s baby bump. “You look more like a knocked up teenager.”

Lexi couldn’t help snorting out a laugh. She slapped Cicely’s hands away and let the gown fall back loose.

“Seriously,” Lexi continued, “I can’t believe they're putting on this whole thing. It feels like a bit much for passing a GED test.”

As she finished and before Cicely could respond she looked into the mirror and saw Beau and Jenny saunter into the tent.

“Oh my god!” Lexi cried as she spun around to face them. “What are you doing here?”

They both smiled and Jenny gave her a hug. “We’re here to celebrate you graduating, of course.” She answered as she stepped back beside Beau.

Lexi felt her cheeks go crimson. “Oh, for pete’s sake, I’m not graduating.” She shook her head. “I passed a test.”

“Lexi, this is a big deal. You should be proud of your accomplishments.” Beau argued while Jenny nodded.

Cicely gently bumped Lexi in the shoulder with her own. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell her all day. We deserve to be celebrated!” She turned her head towards Lexi. “You listen to this beautiful man when he tells you things. He’s obviously very wise.”

Beau gave a mock bow. “Thank you, thank you.” He turned to Jenny and tapped a finger against his temple. “See, what have I been telling you? Wisdom.”

Jenny rolled her eyes and continued as though he hadn’t spoken. “Seriously, Lexi, this is definitely worth celebrating. And to that end, the station is hosting a little graduation party for everyone this evening. Six o’clock, at Beau’s trailer. The land is beautiful, and there will be a huge bonfire to ward off the chill, and amazing BBQ and drinks.” She smiled at Lexi. “And sparkling cider for those of us who can’t partake.”

Beau looked at Lexi, understanding in his gaze as he obviously caught the trepidation in her expression. “There will also be more than a dozen cops there, so you’ll all be very safe.”

Lexi was amazed sometimes how easily Beau understood her. He seemed to read her mind at times, and he always knew just what to say to make her feel better, or feel safe. It made her happy and nervous at the same time. She could feel the way her heart was responding to him, could feel the way her body responded to him too. 

When he was close to her, she always wanted to lean in to him, always wanted his arms around her. She remembered the way it had felt to give him an innocent kiss on the cheek, and now when she looked at him, she was uncomfortably aware of his mouth and how she'd been mere inches away from feeling his lips under hers.

At one of her most recent doctor’s appointments, the doctor had informed her that many women notice an increased libido during the second trimester, and warned her to make sure if she had sex to use a condom as being pregnant didn’t stop her from getting an STI.

Lexi had blushed, but told the doctor there was no chance of that. But she was blaming the increased libido for why her heart raced, and butterflies flew wildly in her belly every time Beau was near. 

She didn’t know very much about sex outside of her marriage. She’d slept with three guys before Simon, and none of them had been exactly earth shattering. Of course, sex with Simon had started out as nothing special and turned into a nightmare. Thankfully in the last few years of their marriage, he hadn’t been much interested in her, and he had very little ability to get it up, so she’d at least been granted that small mercy.

So, this was the first time she’d ever felt this kind of strong attraction to someone. It was slightly overwhelming, so she was definitely blaming it on the hormones racing through her blood while also trying desperately to ignore it altogether.

Jenny gave them final details about the after party and then she and Beau hugged Lexi and Cicely quickly before going to take their place in the high school gym that was hosting their small graduation ceremony. 

After they were gone, Cicely whistled slowly. “Je-sus CHRIST, that man is fine!”

Lexi choked slightly on her laughter. “Cicely!”

The other woman gave her a look. “You telling me you don’t think so?”

Lexi shrugged. “That’s not the point. He’s our friend. He’s been very kind to me.”

Cicely frowned at her. “So? That makes him LESS attractive?”

Lexi rolled her eyes. “I just mean, I don’t wanna talk about him like that.”

Cicely snorted. “There’s nothing wrong with appreciating beauty where you see it. I’m telling you, if I thought I had a chance in hell of pulling him away, I would be all OVER that man.”

Lexi felt her heart plummet. “Pull him away? I thought…” She cleared her throat. “I thought he was divorced. I didn’t realize he was with someone.”

Cicely looked at her like she was nuts. “You can not possibly be that obtuse.”

Lexi frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Cicely rolled her eyes. “What am I…? Girl, that man is so far gone for you it’s almost pathetic.”

Lexi’s eyes grew huge. “What are you talking about? Are you crazy? He’s not interested in me like that. He’s just a kind person. He’s a friend.”

Cicely gave her a deadpan stare and Lexi waved at her dismissively. “You’re crazy.” She said again.

Her friend shook her head. “Lexi, seriously. Beau is kind and friendly to me. He’s kind and friendly to his co-workers, to Sarah, to the other women here. But it’s not the same. When he looks at you, his face gets all…gooey.”

Lexi snorted out a laugh. “Gooey? Beau Arlen is not gooey about me.”

Their conversation was interrupted when Sarah poked her head into the room. “Okay, ladies - showtime! Everyone out in the hall to line up.”

Lexi smoothed down her gown and moved towards the door, but Cicely held her back a moment. “Okay, just pay attention tonight, at the Barbeque. If you pay attention, I know you’ll see it. And I say when you see it, baby, jump on it.”

Lexi shook her head and followed Cicely out the door. Her friend was wrong, imagining things. She knew it. Beau didn’t think of her as anything but a friend and someone he was trying to keep safe. 

That was all…right?

***

The women and their children were shuttled over from the high school to Beau’s in a rented school bus, and when they all arrived - the party started.

Beau’s land was very beautiful, Lexi thought. It was situated in a valley with a stunning view of the mountains all around. When they arrived around six o’clock, the mid-March sun was already sinking in the west, being swallowed up by the peaks in the distance. It was a perfect night, though, slightly warmer than usual, with no wind, and a huge bonfire to throw off plenty of heat.

The kids all immediately started a game of tag in the field, and left their moms to chat and mingle with each other, the deputies, and the Haven House staff in attendance. The atmosphere was jovial and celebratory, and despite herself, Lexi began to feel excited and proud. 

Not long after her arrival, she met Beau at the grill. He was laughing and joking with everyone, proclaiming he was king of the grill. As she watched him tease Deputy Poppernak, she shook her head at Cicely. She was crazy, Beau was this way with everyone. 

But then he spotted her standing in the crowd and his face did…change. She didn’t know that she’d call it gooey. But his eyes definitely lit up, and he left his precious grill to come up and give her a hug.

“Lexi, you looked so great up on that stage! Congratulations!”

She hugged him back, closing her eyes and trying to get Cicely’s words out of her head while also trying to ignore the way Beau’s strong arms felt locked around her. She inhaled his cologne and the butterflies were back. He pulled out of the embrace and she smiled at the ground.

“Thanks, it was a really nice ceremony.”

“Congratulations.” Said a voice from behind her and Lexi turned to see a teenage girl walking up to stand beside Beau. “How hot are those polyester robes? I want to dress accordingly when I graduate next year.”

Beau chuckled. “Lexi, this is my daughter, Emily. Em, this is Lexi Weston.”

Lexi shook her head as she took Emily’s outstretched hand. “It’s Howard again, actually.” She looked at Beau. “Marsha is helping me with the paperwork to change back to my maiden name.”

He nodded and smiled softly. “That’s great.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Howard.” Emily said politely.

“No, please, it’s really just Lexi. And it’s so nice to meet you too. You know your dad talks about you all the time.”

“Oh my god, how boring for you.” Emily said with a pained smile and an elbow to her dad’s ribs.

Lexi laughed lightly. “No, I like his Emily stories, he’s helping me prepare.” She explained with a hand on her baby bump. In the last couple of weeks it had become an honest to goodness bump, obvious unless she was wearing something flowy. The t-shirt she and leggings she wore now did nothing to conceal it. 

“Oh, good.” Emily said with a grin. “I love when he tells baby stories about me. It’s not embarrassing at all.”

Lexi laughed, and Emily reached up to kiss her dad’s cheek. “I’m gonna go organize the kids into lines to make s’mores.” She looked back at Lexi. “Congrats again.”

She bounded away and started the kid round-up. Lexi smiled and moved to stand beside Beau and watch. “She’s really great. So smart and capable.” She said as she watched the young girl effortlessly get the kids in line, and enlist the deputies to haul the s'mores making ingredients over to the bonfire.

Beau’s smile was all pride. “Yeah, she’s pretty incredible.”

Their attention was wrenched back to the barbeque as Poppernak called to Beau. “Hey boss, as king of the grill, you might wanna come figure out where all this black smoke is coming from!”

***

A couple of hours later most of the people had gravitated to sit around the big bonfire where it was warmest. There were dozens of chairs set around it, and lots of blankets to share.

Cicely and Lexi were almost in each other’s laps, curled up on a big adirondack chair under a thick wool blanket. They were very toasty, and Lexi was loving the peace and contentment she felt as she just listened to the soft rise and fall of conversations around her, the laughter that would break out occasionally, the sleepy voices of little ones in their moms’ arms, and the sharp crackling of the sweet smelling wood as it burned.

A couple of seats away Beau was leaning towards Cassie and talking animatedly with his hands. She couldn’t make out his exact words, but she liked to watch his expressions; he was so animated she could almost guess at the conversation.

He said something to make Cassie laugh and then he looked up and caught Lexi’s eye. His smile turned soft and he winked at her. “Comfy over there?” He asked a bit louder.

Lexi nodded happily. “Very.”

“Good.” His smile lingered a moment before his attention was snagged by Emily.

Cicely pinched Lexi lightly and cleared her throat. “Goo-ey.” She whispered conspiratorially.

Lexi slapped her friend’s thigh under the blanket. “Stop it.”

Cicely hummed noncommittally. “Whatever.”

When Lexi looked back at Beau he was shaking his head at Emily who was trying to pass him a guitar. Other people around the fire seemed to notice at the same time and they quieted down to listen. 

“No, god.” Beau was saying with an embarrassed laugh. “I’m not gonna subject these lovely people to my singing.”

His deputies all started egging him on too, but he was shaking his head, adamantly refusing to take the guitar from his daughter. Finally she pleaded with him.

“Please, you used to sing all the time.”

“Yeah, to make you go to sleep. Pretty sure you’d just pretend to make me stop.”

Emily pouted at him. “No, I loved listening to you. Come on.” She paused. “You haven’t picked up a guitar since…since before you left Dallas.”

A look shifted over Beau’s face that Lexi couldn’t interpret. He seemed sad, but also wary. He sighed. “Em -” 

“Please!” She interrupted him. 

With an even deeper sigh he finally took the guitar from her. His audience clapped and he shook his head, clearly embarrassed. “Oh god. What am I supposed to sing?” He asked his daughter, slightly desperate sounding. 

“Sing that one you used to sing.”

Beau lifted his hand in exasperation. “What one I used to sing.”

“The ‘love’ one…the…make you feel the love.”

“Make you feel my love?” Cassie clarified and Emily nodded. “Ooh, I love that song!”

Beau was obviously still very reluctant, but he settled the guitar on his lap and strummed a few chords before adjusting the tuning pegs to his liking. Finally he cleared his throat and shook his head as he looked out at the now silent audience staring at him.

“Oh boy.” He said quietly and everyone chuckled. “Sorry.” He said with a shake of his head.

Then he began plucking at the strings and a warm melody surrounded them all. When Beau began singing there was a collective intake of breath, clear surprise on everyone’s faces. His voice was warm and full, melodic and emotive. In short, it was beautiful.

When the rain is blowing in your face And the whole world is on your case I would offer you a warm embrace To make you feel my love

He watched Emily as he sang the words and Lexi knew he meant every word he sang to her. He looked around the circle with a slightly sheepish smile as he strummed out the melody between verses, but his eye caught Lexi’s again as he began the second verse, and it was as though something kept their gazes locked as he sang. Lexi couldn’t have looked away if her life depended on it.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear And there is no one to dry your tears I would hold you for a million years To make you feel my love

He strummed his way into the first bridge and then looked down at the ground before looking back at the rest of his audience as he began singing the bridge. Even though he wasn’t staring at her anymore, Lexi could feel every word he sang as though it was only the two of them there and he was singing it right to her.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet But I would never do you wrong I've known it from the moment that we met There’s no doubt in my mind where you belong

Cause I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue And I'd go crawling down the avenue There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on a rolling sea And down the highway of regret The winds of change are blowing wild and free Oh, but you ain't seen nothing like me yet

The last verse he sang slowly, plucking the strings gently, and there was no doubt that he’d cast a kind of enchantment over the whole group.

Cause there ain’t nothing that I wouldn't do Go to the ends of the Earth for you Make you happy, make your dreams come true To make you feel my love

The last note echoed into the evening air and there was a moment of peaceful quiet before everyone started clapping and talking at once. Several deputies got up to slap Beau on the back, and everyone was shouting disbelief and praise. 

For his part, Beau turned very red, and thrust the guitar back into Emily’s hands before wrapping one arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side, and kissing the top of her head.

Beside her Cicely sighed deeply and repeated herself to Lexi. “Gooey.” She said, but her tone was definitely saying, “I told you so.”

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#beau arlen #beau arlen series #beau arlen fluff #beau arlen fan fic #beau arlen fic #only the strong survive

[scruffyssketchbook]

Wait you like dusk TwT??

For some reason i thought you hated him or at least disliked it, like yknow those main characters you originally like but later on hates? As like you don't like it so you make it where everyone will hate him

Then again it might be because of how much dusk suffers in comic AND ask blog, not even mentioning how much of a jerk/evil you make him out to be

Him not getting any of the brotherhoods anything, seperating the box (creating said brotherhoods that we know is a problem), an evil mastermind or at least seems to be, Flame hates him and tells us never trust him (mind you we are led to believe Flame is more of 'the good guy' between the both of them), being careless to the other eevees, manipulating(?) daisy, you mentioning one time that dusk will be hated by everymon and gets left behind (except by Vay and Dawn i'm pretty sure) in the future

This isn't dissing you in any way, i was just genuinely surprised to learn that you liked Dusk with how much you set him up to be someone we should hate

Hope you have a great day :D!

OH YEAH YOU SEE

Dusk doing all of that and being evil was actually *drumroll plz* ... ... ... A COMPLETE ACCIDENT! One that I wasn't aware of until someone who read the comic told me! :D I as a kid just made him a Mary Sue who controlled everything and I didn't realize it! He was my favorite character actually. So then when I found out "shoot, all the things he does is actually kind of bad", I did start to dislike him, BUT YOU SEE, HE'S JUST TOO CUTE!!! And I feel sorry for him QwQ. He genuinely just wats everyone safe and only does what he does out of fear of losing control and bad things happening to everyone due to him not having said control again. Ofc, his actions are still unacceptable, but his motives are pure (most of the time). But yeah his actions are still REALLY REALLY BAD and theres no defending him at all. BUT I STILL VERY MUCH LOVE HIM DESPITE THESE ACTIONS. But he deserves everyone hating him.

But like. again, that again is another issue I personally have with SSEC, isn't it?

Dusk deserves to get punished for his actions. He lies, manipulates, and hurts everyone around him. And like, as things are right now. He def will. EVERYONE will leave him, and he'll be in the position he fears the most- being alone. TRULY alone. And no one is going to reach out their hand to help him because- why should any of them? He ruined their lives, lied to them, broke their trust, hurt the ones they love, etc etc.

But like.

I don't really want to write that anymore tbh. It would be really great to see, don't get me wrong, but like. hmm.

A story. There was a point of time where the active people in the Discord server hated on the main cast and only spoke of the In game eevees. i was hyped about them liking the eevees at first, but as time went on, people showed more and more animosity towards the main characters. It wasn't that these people hated the mains passionately, cause I'd love that. They just didn't care about them, they were apathetic. And these were the core fans that were active in the community daily. Now. I spent years and years crafting these characters and their personalities, so honestly this really hurt me. ^^; I over compensated and said things like "Oh yeah the mains are supposed to be assholes" and did things like focused more on the eevees rather than the mains. I was told things like "The main characters are just not likeable" or "I don't care about the mains, I care about (eevee who has no personality)" by these people who were big fans of my work, and just felt really really bad. Because- The main characters kind of deserve it. I made all of them have BIG flaws, i made all of them do awful things, so why not latch onto one note characters who have done no wrong? Characters who you can shape into anything because they are essentially a blank canvas. Either way, the whole experience made me not like the eevees much, something that I only came out of last year.

With the current trajectory of the series, ALL of the main characters will get exposed for all the shitty things they did and get punished for it. They are the leaders after all, the Politicians, you can say. They are the ones directly in the way of the happiness of the eevees. Their actions or Inactions directly cause mostly all of the issues in the box. They are kind of all the bad guys! Blizz gave the Icedrop leadership to Vay and beats up eevees, Vay is abusive to eevees in his own brotherhood, Bolt cant do anything without Dean and lets Dusk get away with the things he's doing, Flame just does nothing for his brotherhood, Dusk is a tyrant, Daisy is a loyal follower of said tyrant, Eve is a liar, Dawn beats up others and is NEVER THERE. LIKE! I don't blame anyone for not liking them, they are kind of all horrible if you look at it. But I still like them despite these negative traits, and like, I don't really want to write a story where they are the big bad evil guys. I don't want to write a story where the main characters loose all of their friends and hope and can't get any of them back due to their own shitty actions and just remains alone, the thing they fear the most. and I don't want everyone suffering due to the actions of these characters. I want more of well- things like this scrapped script:

Dusk: *Dusk is in the rain, his fur drenched and his spirit broken. As he walks back to the small tree he called home, he idly kicks at a pebble on the ground. Nearing the tree, he looses sight of the pebble, and he looks up, trying to use his arm to lift up the fur in his eyes.* ……? *There, he sees Blizz under his tree, holding an umbrella alone, He seemed to have been waiting for him a long time, as the glaceon was fidgeting with a leaf and there were a small pile of them on the ground next to him.* Blizz: *looks up excitedly, leaf forgotten, and waves at him* Hi Dusk!!! Dusk: *frowns, skeptical and hesitant* ….. why are you here? Blizz: *frowns at him, confused* Why wouldn’t I be here? I wanna hang out with you. Dusk: *Dusk stares at Blizz, in disbelief. Blizz….. What’s to hang out with him? After everything? After all he’s done to him and the others?* W-wha-? Blizz: *stares at Dusk, mimicking his confused expression* Dusk: What about- Everything I did? To you, to everymone! Don’t you hate me like everymon else??? Blizz: *Stares at him confused* …Why would I hate my best friend? *A silence falls between the two as they stared at each other, Dusk flabbergasted. But then, tears started rolling down his cheeks* Dusk: *breaks down, yelling* Why WOULDN’T YOU!??? I’VE MADE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE, I TOOK YOUR FRIENDS AWAY, I MADE EVERYONE LOOK DOWN ON YOU! WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO ME RIGHT NOW???? Blizz: … Dusk: YOU SHOULD HATE ME! YOU DO HATE ME! YOU SHOULD WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! WHY ARE YOU HERE? JUST TO MOCK ME? JUST TO GLOAT THAT YOU WON? AFTER ALL I DID TO YOU? WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE??? Blizz: … Dusk: CAN'T YOU USE YOUR TWO BRAINCELLS FOR ONCE AND SEE THAT I- Blizz: *He is suddenly holding the umbrella over Dusk, staring at him with intense teal eyes. He blinks* I don't care. Dusk: ... Blizz: I’m here because….. *he looks away, a lopsided frown on his face. He sighs* I know how it feels to be alone, and to have everyone seem like it’s against you. *he looks at Dusk* When it happened to me, when I was alone, when my brothers and when my friends left me and I had no one… you were always the one who held out their paw to me, and we would hang out, and you’d make me feel better. So… I wanna help you feel better too. *He smiles* and I want you to know… that you are not alone. Even if you think you are. I won’t abandon you. We're still best friends! ^^ Dusk: ... *after staring at Blizz like he's crazy, Dusk starts laughing, as tears still fell down his face* You are- an idiot, he says inbetween fits of sobs and laughs* Blizz: But I'm YOUR idiot! :D *Blizz smiles, as Dusk starts sobbing again*

But like- why would Blizz even forgive him? And even if he did, to get to this we have to slosh through a bunch of things, a civil war, a couple betrayals, more characters getting hurt, someone (not Dusk) getting disowned, more mains being frankly awful. And personally, I don't want to write that. That was never what SSEC was meant to be, but what it turned into due to poor planning. But that's what the hundreds of comics and thousands of writings have built up to, so I keep pushing on.

But I'm kind of tired of that.🙃

And if you are wondering why I keep talking about this stuff and not doing anything about it, the only reason why I'm talking about this stuff publicly is because I am in fact, doing something about it.

LET ME COMPLAIN IN PEACE, I EARNED IT.

#rambles

[stillwinterair]

Howdy kids

My name is Dee! It's not the name I went by for most of my years on Tumblr, but it's the one everyone knows me as. You might remember my url as nyriad, visovari... I went by a bunch of others too, but those are the only two I seem to remember now 😅

The last time I was on Tumblr, I was in the middle of a very difficult period of my life that I didn't really have the tools or support to navigate. But sometimes you gotta go a lil wacky and make some fresh new regrets so you can grow up a lil bit wiser and sexier

I quit the internet pretty much cold turkey for a while and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I spent a year pretty much focusing on nothing but my immediate surroundings, living in my own skin, learning how to love myself. I've gotten a lot more comfortable being myself, and have grown a lot more connected to the earth.

In my time away, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which even just the diagnosis has significantly improved almost every facet of my life. I've gotten so many new tools and so much new language to express myself and my needs. I've stopped feeling like there is something wrong with me and let go of a lot of shame that I held around myself, my work flow, my ability to focus, my needs for rest, etc. As I've met more people with ADHD, I've grown a lot more empowered and confident. I'm still figuring out what medication works for me (Adderall and Concerta are hell incarnate; Ritalin and Vyvanse are the bee's knees). It's been revolutionary and healing, honestly. Reading the book "Driven to Distraction" was an important first step that I recommend to everyone who's ever thought they might have ADHD, or if you were like me, always felt stupid and slow and always wondered why you never could quite get around to doing all the things you want to do.

I am also currently pursuing a diagnosis for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, as per my doctor's suggestion. I won't get into it too much here, but it is a chronic illness that has made the last year pretty difficult. I have a lot of severe chronic joint pain and lethargy, and it's been... a lot. I'm starting physical therapy soon. This part isn't fun to talk about, but it's becoming an important part of my identity.

I've also met the love of my life, my soon-to-be fiancee, Nathalie! We were inseparable pretty much from the day we met, and spent a year as best friends. And then after that year the sexual tension became too much to handle, and now another year later, here we are, stupidly in love, utterly obsessed with each other, turning every single day into a fun, wacky, new adventure lmao. We've built the most beautiful, trusting, communicative, intimate relationship I've ever experienced and I am so filled with pride and joy and love and happiness every day. We're still best friends -- no force on this earth could ever get us to shut up when we're in the same room. She just fills me with butterflies and glee and light. Nat has this burning desire to create in whatever the most tactile medium she can find is. She loves mechanisms and fibers and all of the ways different materials interact with each other. She inspires me every day to be more open and honest and to pursue whatever creative venture has caught my interest, and I do the same for her. We dance together, create together, and share big emotions and life goals and it's just the most beautiful thing I've ever felt, and this paragraph could go on forever if I don't end it right now

I've also finally started to settle into my writing flow. I've got a space opera that's really beginning to take shape and I'm pretty proud of what it's turning into :) I also have a fantasy saga that's following a few steps behind. Both are things I've been working on for nearly a decade in fits and spurts, but I've done more work on them in the last year than in all previous years combined. I've gotten into more artistic mediums as well: oil painting, photography, beading, and so on. And very into fashion, kind of. Y'all should see my wardrobe these days -- bright colors, crazy patterns, wacky silhouettes. I feel like I finally look like myself. I'm currently rocking a purple mullet and a mustache, so... yeah, I'm having fun with it

I'm not sure how many of my old friends and mutuals are still hanging around, but I wanted to say hey, track a few of you down, and give a little update on how things are going for me post-Tumblr. I am alive, and I'm pretty happy these days. Some days I miss it here, and while I'll never come back in the same capacity as I used to, I wanted to reconnect with some of my old friends that I used to talk to and hang around with every day! I'm gonna poke around over the next while and see who's still around :) honestly I still think about some of y'all on the daily, and I got too curious about how my old friends were doing.

If you want to keep in touch, I'm on Instagram as deehollandaise. I'm on Discord much less often, but if you want to connect there, shoot me a message and I'll share the deets. Warning that I am just straight up not involved in any fandom stuff these days. It's just not for me anymore.

I will be retiring this blog in the new year, setting the whole dang thing to private and probably starting a new one with which to share some of my creative projects. I'll let y'all know about it before that happens.

I don't know, this is all kinda word vomit, I guess I just wanted to let all my old friends know that I'm still here and that I'm finally figuring myself out. I've got a lot to be proud of and grateful for and I've barely scratched the surface, so I'll leave off with some recent photos. Have a hot & sweaty 2024, you sexy things 😘

- Dee

[girlweepinginstairwell]

hi yaz 🍊 (<-for u) right now im going through that awkward friendless period of my life and have been for a while. i've been following you for a long time and wondered if you had any words of wisdom for those of us in the thick of it. thank you ❣️

(p.s - from what we see online you've seemed really well lately, and its genuinely very encouraging. thanks 4 spreading the joy)

hi! so sorry for letting this ask sit there for a bit... i wanted to make sure i could answer it thoughtfully! 🌟 i ended up writing more than i expected so i apologize if this comes across as a bit wordy.

first of all, thank you so much! it really means a lot to me to hear this... i am literally just Random Girl Online so i’m truly honored & i think you’re incredibly sweet to say so 😭💝

secondly, i’m sorry you’re feeling this way! it’s a miserable place to be emotionally & difficult to talk about... but i promise promise promise you will not feel this way forever. i was so lonely it hurt for a very long time, i guess if you’ve followed me for a while you probably remember. like it was PAINFUL how unpeopled my life was, and i was really embarrassed by it too because no one else seemed to be going through it quite so badly. but honestly, i think... most people actively are or once were lonelier than they are willing to admit, so it’s not an experience that’s awkward at all, and not something indicative of there being anything wrong with you specifically (which is all too easy a conclusion to come to), and it is definitely, DEFINITELY is not going to be this bad always. there are so many lovely people in this world who are just on the cusp of entering your life without your even realizing it yet... at one point last year i took a second to look around me & it suddenly occurred to me that things had gotten so much better for me in a way i genuinely never imagined during the worst of my loneliness, that completely unexpectedly i had come to know a good number of people i liked and cared about.

mostly all i can encourage you to do is to be around people in whatever way u can even if you don’t currently have a circle of friends to turn to. if your school or a local museum or a similar institution is holding some kind of lecture, attend it even if u don’t know anyone else who’s going! you might strike up a conversation with a stranger u unexpectedly get along with and make plans to get to know each other better, or you might just get to lightly chat with a lot of people who u never see again. both of these things are nice in different ways. if your workplace is holding a little potluck for someone’s birthday, go even if it’s just for the sake of having cake and cooing over photos of your coworker’s new puppy. text friends who live in the area who u haven’t seen in years, spend the afternoon at the park together & see if you want to make room in each other’s lives for these new versions of yourselves you’ve grown into. sign up for art classes where u can struggle through something you’re unfamiliar with alongside others who are struggling through it the same way & bond over this for a few hours each week. be the first person to text in a groupchat of people u only sort of know. tag along to study with someone from your class at the library & see if it becomes a regular thing with other people from the same class. maybe you won’t befriend all the people you go out of your way to interact with, but chances are you can and will befriend a few of them! and even if it doesn’t end up working out, a little camaraderie goes a long way in pulling a person out of the pits of despair.

if literally none of the above is an option for u in any way whatsoever right now, just try your best to keep going anyway. which sounds stupid probably, i’m sorry; i would have been CRAZY irritated if anyone told me this when i was so lonely i could hardly think about anything else. but i read a lot of poetry, i played a lot of video games, i watched a lot of movies, i spent so much time out of doors watching the birds and trees, i talked to my relatives more than ever before, i messaged some mutuals so often they turned into genuine online friendships that meant the world to me then and mean the world to me still. it hurt that i didn’t have people to share any of this with the way i wanted to but i still experienced a lot of really nice moments when i was alone & in some ways i feel more equipped to deal with loneliness after living through so much of it because i know now that i’m capable of enjoying things even in the throes of isolation. resilience isn’t sustainable and i sincerely hope you don’t need to be resilient about this for much longer, but your life is not on hold, and if u just keep going i believe you will still experience lots of meaningful and good things until your social life starts to pick up, at which point u will experience lots of other meaningful and good things!

also i guess i already mentioned this and definitely feel free to ignore this bit if it doesn’t apply to you, but be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking this is somehow your fault or because there is something inherently off-putting about you! this is absolutely not the case… not having enough or even any friends is just something that happens sometimes. it’s a much more common experience than it feels like & there is nothing wrong with you! believing this and giving in to the shame will cause you undue pain and isolate you further when people reach out or enter your life if you feel you aren’t deserving of friendship because whatever shape your insecurities happen to take. so just... try and be kind to yourself. this is something i struggled with a lot & that’s why i bring it up, but again, you can totally disregard it if it doesn’t align with your own experiences.

i guess that’s all for now! i don’t think i’m saying anything new, so i don’t know how helpful any of this was. i mostly just hope it wasn’t pedantic! i was trying to think of things that genuinely worked for me or things i would like to tell me of a couple years ago if i could speak to her somehow, and i ended up writing a lot because this is a topic that means a lot to me. basically i just mean to say u will be okay! with time and effort and a little bit of luck you will be okay & you will find yourself surrounded by the nicest friends and acquaintances who genuinely really like you and who you genuinely really like in return. loneliness is just something that comes and goes... sometimes it is a little harder and more painful to get through than other times but it never lasts forever. i hope you take care of yourself & i hope it all starts to work out really well, really soon ❣️ love u

#oh it also occurs to me that i have a lot of readings about this sort of thing by people a lot more eloquent than me... #so let me know if you’d like me to compile those or anything like that! #asks

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 3: Faith and Religion. The films in Unit 3 are: But I’m a Cheerleader (2000), Prayers for Bobby (2009), Latter Days (2003), Blackbird (2014), The Wise Kids (2011), Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015)

Today I will be writing about

Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015) dir. Stephen Cone

[Run Time: 1:27, Available on: tubi, Lang: English] 

Summary: Henry Gamble, a 17-year-old preacher's son, wrestles with sexuality, alcoholism and faith during his birthday party.

Cast: *Cole Doleman as Henry Gamble *Elizabeth Laidlaw as Kat Gamble, Henry's mother *Pat Healhy as Bob Gamble, Henry's father *Nina Ganet as Autumn Gamble, Henry's sister *Patrick Andrews as Ricky Matthews, recent suicide survivor *Hanna Dworkin as Bonnie Montgomery, the most miserable woman on the planet *Francis Guinan as Larry Montgomery, Bonnie's husband

(side note, I should start keeping tallies about how many movies on this syllabus come from Wolfe production company)

___

Well, we’ve reached the end of the line for Unit 3 with this one, and I have to say, I do think I like this piece from Stephen Cone better than I enjoyed The Wise Kids. (Though, honestly, I probably owe The Wise Kids a rewatch because of where my head was at when I watched that piece.)

Now, I am not religious, and I don’t have the kind of religious trauma that I think would make some of these films speak to me more, and the thing I kind of like with Stephen Cone’s pieces is that the queerness doesn’t intersect with religion as much as religion and queerness exist in the same space, if that makes sense. Like is there some internalized homophobia going on, there is some external homophobia going on, but…The Wise Kids and Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party have seemed more like stories where there are gay, religious kids, rather than the gays (or at least main gay character) suffering under the weight of religion which films such as Prayers for Bobby and Latter Days portray. [Do not get me wrong, gays suffering under the weight of religion is still present in both films, it just feels secondary to the main thread]. 

As such, I think I found myself connecting more, and being more interested in the plot of the mother and her daughter, Autumn as well as to the portrayal of the small town, white, religious adults. Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party is extremely legible in showing what the characters are feeling without really having to say anything about it. You can tell that Henry’s mother is Straight Up Not Having A Good Time Right Now from the first second we see her on screen, you can tell there is some level of tension between her and her husband, you can tell how tenuous Ricky’s stability is from the moment he walks in the door. 

I liked how there was cross talk, and how there were references to people and to conversations that happened that we were not a part of. It makes the film seem real and lived in, I liked how easily I was able to identify the queer kids, and how I suspect a few more characters (cough cough, Jon) are queer and either not aware of it or are hiding/suppressing it. 

But more importantly, I really enjoyed how much of this film was dedicated to water and to wine.

Like, every single time these kids jumped in the pool I could think of nothing else but baptism. Every time an adult poured themselves a mug of wine, and another adult complained about it I could do nothing but think about Jesus turning water to wine, and how the sacrament is taken with wine. Yet here, in the home, the wine must be hidden, the adults can’t be seen drinking around the children, etc. 

And maybe it’s cause I’m no longer 17, but while Henry’s journey throughout the film is important, I spent more time focusing on Kat, on Ricky, and on Bonnie throughout this film. Kat just seems to be going through the routine, stuck in a life it feels like she doesn’t want or possibly never wanted, and being mostly ignored. Ricky is the subject of a lot of conversation and gossip, but no one really knows how to treat him normally after a suicide attempt, and Bonnie is the most miserable woman to ever walk the earth. 

I think what is the most notable to me is how people change over the course of the movie. In water, Henry comes to finally accept his feelings for Logan, in water the very clearly bored adults get to have some fun, those who entered the water exited with change, and those who did not remained relatively the same. The same goes for the wine. The adults that drank wine went through some sort of change, while the adults who didn’t ended up staying relatively the same. By this I mean Bonnie, because she was the only person who did not swim or drink. 

With the wine, Kat tells Autumn a secret, you know the kind that mothers only tell their eldest daughters. With the wine, Kat and Autumn heal a part of their relationship. With the wine, Larry just gets real chill with queer people real quick. With the wine, Kat and Bob end with a separation. 

So I think that was the most compelling aspect. Bonnie is judgemental about sex, porn, etc. and thusly she does not approve of swimming, because of girls being in scantily clad outfits. Bonnie is judgemental about alcohol consumption and thusly she is annoyed that her husband is sneaking wine. Bonnie does not invest in earthly pleasures, and so she is just the most miserable person by a mile and she just spends all of her time making everyone around her miserable as well. She’s just an empty person who does not know how to get out of it, and her personal perception of religion is keeping her excluded from connection and joy. In my opinion at least. 

Ricky is just a kid I feel bad for. He’s trying to get his life back on track, he’s trying to get back some sense of normalcy and instead he is gossiped about constantly and kept in the dark about whether or not he is going to be a camp counselor again. You can see him just constantly trying to hold it together, until he just stuck in the bathroom and can’t get out. Where it all falls to pieces. Now. We hear a rumor about Ricky that we have no way to corroborate, but considering this is a film about faith and religion, let’s just say that the intense self harm that Ricky participates in feels very much like he is trying to absolve himself of sins through some form of self punishment. 

Overall, I think this film was a good one to end on and I am sure it would have a lot more to say to me if I had a better understanding of religion, but this is what I kind of found. 

For/By/About 

I think this one is a By and About queer people film. I don’t think enough of the plot revolved around queerness and religion to really be for queer people. This film seemed more of a rated E for everyone situation 

Favorite Moment

By far my favorite moment of the film is Autumn and Kat talking in the car. I loved this quiet moment between mother and daughter, where Kat allows Autumn to see some of her flaws and where Kat apologizes for any harm she may have caused Autumn over the years. It’s a very vulnerable moment that brought me both sadness and joy.

Favorite Quote

“No. We’re doing it all wrong. You, you’re gay, that’s fine, the Lord made you that way, fine. Fuck it.” 

This is said by one of the older men at the party, Larry, who is piss drunk at this point. But has just witnessed Ricky exiting the party with his mother after a super massive self harm incident, and who I think comes to some pretty quick conclusions about the ways in which religion and faith can have an extremely negative impact. The scene itself does feel a little bit like when Nomi’s mother ate a really good weed brownie at Nomi and Aminita’s wedding and was suddenly cured of her transphobia in Sense8, but nevertheless it is another moment I think of showing transformation through the consumption of wine (aka Christ’s blood). 

Score

8.5/10

I enjoyed this film, found it compelling, thought there was some really great acting, and I absolutely loved how the film ends full circle with the same shot of Henry that we open the film on.

I am knocking half a point off for the fact that I had to watch a straight sex scene in this film (however brief) but there was no queer physical/romantic/sexual intimacy portrayed on screen. (Unless you want to count the masturbation scene at the very beginning of the film, but I think the jury is out on that one). 

And with this I move on to Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley, a section that I am certain will be nothing but sunshine and rainbows, and which I am unsure if I should start before or after the holidays.

#bengiyo queer cinema syllabus #queer cinema syllabus #henry gamble's birthday party #henry gamble's birthday party (2015) #unit 3 #unit 3: faith and religion