#honestly who knows exactly what's going on with sisi but

[poorlittleyaoyao]

Care to share your backstory for Meng Shi?

Anon, I would LOVE to! I want to write about her so badly, but I have neither the stamina to finish it nor the skill to execute it properly. Here is a big wall of text of my THOUGHTS and FEELINGS described to the extent possible without needing a cw:

Meng Shi is the only child in a solidly middle-class (insofar as "middle-class" is a thing you can be in that setting) family of artisans (Painters? Scribes? The MDZS world inexplicably has no civil service system, so they can't be court clerks.) in a mid-sized riverside town near Yunmeng. Her parents teach her to read and write so she can help with the family business. She also learns to play the guqin for fun and because down the the line it'll be an attractive quality for a marriageable young lady to have.

When she is 14, her hometown is devastated by a catastrophic flood. (I go back and forth on whether this is the work of supernatural forces unchecked by cultivators--thus contributing to JGY's decision to spearhead the watchtower project later on--or if it's a regular old environmental disaster.) Her family's home and wealth are all lost, and her family themselves are all drowned save for Meng Shi and her father's youngest brother.

Meng Shi and her uncle travel and take on what work they can to support themselves, but her uncle is frustrated that he as a skilled craftsman has to work as a laborer and/or as a junior outsider subservient to a family no better than his own. He is unwilling to keep his head down and work his way up. He resents his newfound poverty and resents his niece, whom he views as a burden.

After spending some time in the merchant hub of Yunping, Meng Shi is abruptly taken to what she is told is a matchmaker. She answers the woman's questions honestly--yes, of course she is a maiden! yes, she can play an instrument! no, she doesn't think she has any ailments--but senses that the vibe is off. She's even more suspicious when her uncle won't let her see the paper that the "matchmaker" has him sign. When she catches a glimpse of the text, she tries to run. It does not go well.

Meng Shi latches onto reading, painting, and music as connections to her life before the flood. Since these things are also part of her appeal to clients, she has a repertoire of texts to read and music to play during work that is distinct from what she reads and plays for herself. It is of paramount importance that these things are kept strictly separated.

Since these skills are not shared by the other women in the brothel, they also enable her to mentally separate herself from them and her current life in general: she views herself as Different and Better, and her circumstances must therefore be temporary. This lets her keep going, but it also tanks her chances of forming kinship with the other women.

Her one friend in the brothel is Sisi, who is a couple years her senior and looked out for her when she first arrived. Meng Shi continually repays this kindness until Sisi's contract is bought out years later by a wealthy merchant who wants to make her his kept mistress. (Relatedly, JGY does not realize Sisi is among the women he exploits for his patricide until after the fact: as far as he knew, Sisi was still living with that merchant somewhere in Yunmeng.)

Meng Shi earns extra money by helping the madam with bookkeeping, a task she eventually teaches her son. She tracks expenses and revenue and knows exactly how much debt each woman or girl has left. The contract documents themselves are kept locked away and she fantasizes about finding and burning them. (When she is older, she briefly has the chance... and doesn't take it, because any hope of Meng Yao being recognized as his father's son hinges being able to prove her own identity, and the prospects for her as an unwed mother with no family or resources are slim even if she manages to shake the stigma of the brothel. She sticks with the devil she knows, because at least here she has the bare minimum of food and a shelter.)

She also keeps meticulous records of every man she ever has to serve--names, appearance, preferences, any details they share about their lives. It's insurance if things go badly, and she finds that they treat her somewhat better if they think they matter.

Meng Shi is 20 when Jin Guangshan hires her, and her decision to carry his child to term is a calculated one: since JGS has no heirs at the time Meng Yao is conceived, Meng Shi figures JGS will take her as an official concubine for the sake of his family line. The risks and physical hardships of childbirth and pregnancy are deemed worth it, because being beholden to just one man who can confer status and security is a hell of a lot better than the brothel, no matter how insufferable that man is.

Meng Shi is nonetheless blindsided by just how disruptive a baby is, never mind how long it takes her body to recover from childbirth. When Meng Yao is old enough to sleep for long stretches and no longer needs to eat every few hours, a new problem arises: where to keep him while she works now that she can't stow him in his cradle. Sisi will watch him when she can, but the other women aren't inclined to communally babysit a child they didn't choose for someone they don't like. Meng Shi gets the madam to agree to move her to a larger room, with enough space that she can partition off a section just for herself and Meng Yao. With the resultant increase in what she owes for room and board each month, plus the cost of feeding and clothing her son, Meng Shi's net income plummets. (Having a separate space makes it worth it, though.)

Even with the partitioned section, Meng Shi tries to keep Meng Yao away from the room entirely when she has to work. Eventually he works downstairs in the restaurant, but when he's younger, Meng Shi sends him up to the roof with a book and candle when the weather permits so he will be left alone.

Teaching Meng Yao to read and write isn't just about making sure he's a Proper Young Gentleman; it's also a way for her to share the things she loves and connect with her son through learning the way her own parents connected with her.

She likes to make as big a fuss as she can about festivals and birthdays, because she and Meng Yao deserve something nice.

Since the Jiang clan doesn't practice musical cultivation, and the pamphlets Meng Shi acquires for Meng Yao emphasize swordsmanship above all else, she only teaches Meng Yao the very basics of the guqin. He likes to listen to her play, though, and she composes lullabies for him that are later modified to help him with meditation. He does not like to meditate without her in the room.

She writes to JGS at least once every two months. He never responds. She tells Meng Yao and herself that perhaps he simply hasn't received the letters, though she suspects that's not the case.

There's a temple to Guanyin in the hills outside the city. It's a couple hours' walk each way for her when she's healthy, so Meng Shi doesn't get to go as often as she'd like. The monks there are kind to them, and Meng Shi is never sure whether it's because they're monks and kind to everyone, or because they don't know who she is.

No matter how much of a burden Meng Yao is, or how much she sometimes regrets her choice (to have a child, to not run away before, and on and on), Meng Shi never once considers trading Meng Yao's wellbeing for anything. She wonders what sort of monster her uncle must have been to sell her.

She is ill for a little over two years.

The only time she ever raises a hand against her son is when he suggests, in a calm and rational voice, that he should take on her debt instead. She's horrified by her action, but it has the desired effect.

She is initially buried up in the woods near the temple. Meng Yao counts his paces carefully so he can find the place again later.

#meng shi #if anyone has added info with citations HMU #also HMU with any fic recs where she lives bc PLEASE HELP HER

[letters-from-st-vladimirs]

Let's talk about the show so far (Episode 1)

Allow me to preface this by saying I went into this not expecting it to be exactly like the books; if it were I'm relatively sure that there is a lot of points from the books that would absolutely not fly in the 2020s like they did in the late 2000s-2010s.

I'm not going to lie, I was very confused about what was going on, why Lissa's parents and brother were still alive, and why Tatiana was not queen. That said, I was not disappointed in the way everything panned out. I have said from day one that I had no doubt that Sisi and Daniela would do an amazing job, and they are proving my right at scene one.

I appreciate the change in roles for a majority of the characters, and the change from running away from the school to just leaving the grounds and staying out too late accidentally. I was a little iffy on it, if not kind of disappointed they didn't do it how it was originally, but one twitter post pointed out that the scene was pretty homoerotic and people would ship them a lot (which...there is nothing wrong it; I ship them, but I acknowledge that they are two heterosexual women as far as we know). On top of that, the show would have gotten accused of queerbaiting which wouldn't be the case in my personal opinion.

That said; Sisi is black. Daniela is Venezuelan. Andre is Asian. The fact that people need to be told to get over it is excruciatingly upsetting. Not to mention that this is a canon depiction of Rose Hathaway (source: Vampire Academy Graphic Novel):

In the second chapter of the first book, Rose even narrates that she's been described as a, "semi-exotic desert princess." Despite how much that aged like milk, it is safe to say that Rose has tanned skin at the very least just like her father (who appears in the fourth book).

So, yeah, Sisi is Rose Hathaway. Get over it.

Lissa's flashback and panic attack upon hearing Victor repeat the words that Andre (her brother) said right before the accident gave me chills, and was honestly very believable. Her new relationship with Christian is wholesome to say the least, and their quick friendship came so organically.

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about Mason and Rose's relationship, since Rose only really saw him as a friend and as far as I remember their relationship wasn't like how it is in the show, but again, this isn't the books. Despite that, I love their rivalry and Rose's determination to be number one to seal her spot as Lissa's guardian when she graduates, especially now that it's not longer a guarantee with Andre being deceased and he was their key. Her friendship to Lissa is organic and loving, almost sisterly.

Alberta is chef's kiss.

One thing that has lead true so far is how everything leads to Andre; Mia, Lissa and Rose, the crown, everything. Andre's death is still significant in the show as it was in the book, and it sparks joy.

The note that I want to leave off on is I headcanon that Sonya is autistic. Why? Because my autistic ass says so. The way she is around people vs. birds, her special interests, the way Mia talks about her and her "quirks," it all felt too real to me. Jonette responding to a tweet I made also helped with this headcanon and she was so sweet with her response and said that she loved how people could relate to Sonya in this way. Sonya is quickly becoming my favorite show character and I'm looking forward to seeing more of her.

#vampire academy #lissa dragomir #dimitri belikov #rose hathaway #romitri #vampire academy peacock #sisi stringer #daniela nieves #andre dae kim #christian ozera #moroi #strigoi #dhampir #vampire academy tv show #richelle mead #va tv show #julie plec #st vladimir #saint vladimir #kieron moore #mason ashford

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hi! What’re your thoughts on the vampire academy trailer?

Sooooo I have a lot of concerns about this lol

The trailer in general doesn't look great. I'm not going to judge anyone's acting because there was pretty little to judge it off of; a lot of action shots, very little lines. And tbh, I can see fans dogpiling on Sisi as Rose from spaaace and like... I don't think that has... fuck all to do with her acting. But in general, the trailer looks like a pretty dry, dated, 2008-2010 era moment. Like when people were trying to copy Twilight but make it more of a "world" and "actiony" because they thought that this!!! Would get them the asses in the seats!!! Kissing vampires sure but also ACTION!!!! FOR THE BOYS!!!

When, speaking as a hardcore Twihard from back in the day, nobody gave a fuck about the action. Twilight was successful because it gave the teen girls (and some boys and nbs) what they wanted--forbidden love, guys with their shirts off professing their undying devotion, boys fights over a self insert, and of course, the MASSSSIIIIIIVE virginity tension, both literal and metaphorical. Like, our girlhoods were trembling, and not for the meager action sequences. And few people got this, which is why shit like The Mortal Instruments flopped, and many YA follow ups that tried to go BIGGER! BIGGER!!!!! have had less of a lasting pop cultural impact (see: The Hunger Games movies--everybody and their mom knows Team Edward versus Team Jacob, but the pool of people who know Peeta and Gale beyond "the Josh Hutcherson one and the Liam Hemsworth one" is more limited).

So yeah, it looks very dated on that front. And to be fucking frank--I read all those books, and the Adrian/Sydney spinoff series. I wasn't picking all that shit up for the action. The fighting added stakes, but everyone was hanging on for the relationships. It's that fucking simple, and I wish more people got that.

But I'm also concerned because Julie Plec can't run a show to save her life, picks (usually white) actors to favor, and is honestly pretty fucking racist and a protector of right wingers like Matt Davis, which makes me think she is probably lowkey or highkey a sympathizer. So I'm super worried about how she's going to handle this. I fucking know she's gonna promote this show expecting a pat on the back because Sisi is playing Rose, Andre is playing Christian, etc. I'm for that myself. But do I think Julie Plec will sensitively navigate Rose being Black instead of white? Lmao no. Tbh, Rose does play what is really an explicitly, societally subservient role to Lissa. While I honestly don't know exactly how Daniela identifies beyond being Venezuelan (and Google has not given me anything), she's at minimum white passing in a way that Sisi never could be; so watching Sisi play a guard who's supposed to lay down her life for this princess is like...? Not great to me? Shades of Bonnie being expected to lay her life down for Elena and Caroline and Damon and everyone?

But also, to be frank, the books succeeded in a way that I honestly think people would be up in arms about today, and I don't really know how that hurdle is going to be covered. A part of the big appeal of that original series was shipping--and Rose/Dimitri was very popular (a ship I totally supported, lol). In the wake of Buffy/Angel it wasn't like... as weird, I think? But Rose was 17, he was 24!!!! Literally her teacher!!! And like, I think we'd be fucking lying if we said that the taboo element wasn't part of what kept us hanging on. You can't do that today. Fuck, you really probably can't do the "Adrian and Sydney get married even though she's like all of 18" shit from the spin off books either.

It's just. I don't know. I feel like the time to adapt the series has passed, they tried it already, and if it was going to happen everyone would probably need to be real cool with some shit I know they aren't cool about, and also get rid of Plec.

[winepresswrath]

I wish jgy had got the lw treatment and was made to do paperwork for the rest of his life as punishment bc he was too competent at it to get rid of (also no one else wanted to do it)

In order to get the Ling Wen treatment you absolutely cannot kill Nie Mingjue. Nie Huaisang will never let you do paperwork for the rest of your life. You will die in ignominy. I suspect but cannot confirm that Sisi has a similar temperament and if Huaisang hadn't gotten him she would have. It's not actually a moral issue but there is a practical constraint.

#it's the he xuan problem #he's just not going to stop #and with Huaisang and Sisi there's the added element of #curdled love #honestly who knows exactly what's going on with sisi but #at a minimum she seems to have very sincerely loved his mother #and the affection seems to have been mutual because he did save her! #so I tend towards thinking that for her #what he did to both her and her colleagues #was a betrayal #because despite his background #at the end of the day their lives still meant so little to him #compared to his father's suffering #which is this hilarious and awful mirror image of what his father thinks #Jin Guangshan's life and feelings matter so much it's fine if a bunch of women die about it

[rose--hathaways]

okay i’ve been distracted all day at work thinking about my thoughts re: the vampire academy reveal so here we go: ⬇️

rose: sisi stringer gets my tick of approval (not that anyone cares lmao), she is gorgeous she is fierce (and she’s australian so you KNOW i’m gonna support her) and i am HERE for some diversity in the cast. questioning the description where it says she’s the strongest fighter in her class because uhh she missed two years of training right? i’m assuming lissa and rose still ran away in this adaption?? she was so bad at combat that dimitri had to train her out of hours just to catch her up to her peers?? not a huge negative for me though, we all know rose is a badass & she caught up super quick to her classmates anyway so not a big deal

lissa: daniela nieves looks sweet but also like she could stab you, which is exactly the vibe is get from lissa (except lissa wouldn’t stab someone ofc, she would just compel them into thinking they were stabbed). i don’t mind that she doesn’t look like book lissa, but i do wonder if it will effect the little insecurities and jealousies that rose has around lissa in the books, but honestly they aren’t pivotal to the plot so idc. also i know everyone is talking about the “younger sister to the heir apparent” part of her description, honestly i think this is just in reference to andre taking the title of prince dragomir not the actual throne, but i could be wrong idk we’ll see and i mean she ends up as queen anyway soooo

dimitri: i was sold at kieron moore’s cheekbones tbh. and he’s actually 24! that’s right folks normal twenty-four years olds don’t look thirty! i’m loving his insta interactions already so i feel like he’s captured who dimitri is already, and i’m sure he can put on a russian accent perfectly well please please let him have a russian accent. still wondering if they will mess with his age, but i’m going to assume he’s still 24, judging by the description, and that maybe rose has been aged up?? idk, i just can’t wait to see him with long hair and a duster

christian: YES. andrè dae kim is 100% the closest character visually to what i imagined! love this!! getting the vibe that he’ll be the one to make the st vladimir connection? book christian didn’t come off as being very studious, except when it came to helping lissa, but he was also a total smartass so who knows what he got up to outside of rose’s POV. very keen to see that his backstory isn’t being brushed off and overall absolutely love him!!

victor: i never actually gave much thought to how victor looks, so j august richards is great in my books! i’m very keen to see some lgbtq+ representation in this series, but i’m kinda concerned that they’ve chosen (who i presume will be) the series’ villain to be the one in a same-sex relationship?? i’m also a bit confused & very curious about him having two daughters?? natalie is such a pivotal part of book one, unless they’re splitting her part into two i’m not sure how this would work? though a part of me wonders if they’re going to make robert doru’s character a child of victor’s, or even avery lazar’s character his child?? idk but should be interesting

tatiana: VOGEL??? this is where i get super confused. she sounds like tasha (without the relation to christian), but her name is tatiana but she’s also clearly not queen tatiana soooo ??? i saw a very cool post from @sydneysageivashkov talking about how they think there might be multiple timelines involved, in which case vogel could be a maiden/married name for queen tatiana?? that would be cool. regardless, not really sure what is happening here but i guess we’ll see 🤷🏼‍♀️

mia: KARP??? again, i am confused. i can definitely see her having book mia’s doll-like cute features, and i’m not too fussed about her not having the curly blonde hair tbh as someone who has naturally curly blonde hair i absolutely hate seeing others with it because of the second hand pain lmao. now getting to the part we all actually care about in mia’s description: lgbtq+ mia!! oh my fuckin god i am HEEEEEERE for this, mia has always been gay let’s be real here folks, i love this. also is she going to be related to sonya karp?????? questionsssss

meredith: tbh i sometimes forget that meredith exists so seeing her as a main character is uhhh ??? weird ???? is she replacing eddie? god i fuckin hope not. maybe she’s one of victor’s children?? idk. it’s weird but i’m curious to see where they’re going with her, plus it’s be good to see more female dhampirs because let’s be honest we don’t really see anyone other than rose and eventually dimitri’s family in the book series

sonya: ARE WE GETTING PRE-STRIGOI SONYA??? ohhhh i am KEEN. not sure how it’ll effect the storyline, maybe it’ll be told through flashbacks, again going back to the multiple timelines idea? also mikhail????? i didn’t think the books brought him into it until later, but idk i love them sm i am so excited for this. sonya is a little younger than i imagined, but i actually don’t see that as being a bad thing. also is she related to mia now???

mason: aw i’m gonna be sad if he doesn’t have red hair i won’t lie, but at the end of the day it’s really about attitude with mason and i think andrew liner will pull it off really well. his description seems to be pretty on-character, but it looks like the tv show is maybe going to play some sort of classmate rivalry between mason and rose?? could be interesting, idk, still looks like he’s gonna be a big simp for rose though lmao bless

so yeah i have concerns buuuuut i’m gonna wait it out and see what they do with it. lemme know what you guys think too!! x

#vampire academy #va #rose hathaway #lissa dragomir #dimitri belikov #christian ozera #mason ashford #also IS SYDNEY GONNA BE IN IT LIKE THE RUMOUS SUGGEST??? #AND WHAT HAPPENS WITH ADRIAN IF TATIANA VOGEL IS TATIANA IVASHKOV??? #AAAAAAAAAH SO MANY QUESTIONS WHY CAN’T I BE PATIENT?? 😭😭😭

[thecatsaesthetics]

Round-Up:l Historical Fiction I’ve read in the past 6 months or so…

I wanted to do a round-up, I don’t think I’ve told people here but I got a job last December where I work from 3pm to 11pm as a data processor and I’m not allowed to have my phone or anything on me but an mp3 player. So I’ve been listening to audible books after audible books. So today I’ve going to give you a short round-up of the books I’ve listened to. 

Becoming Marie Antoinette by Juliet Grey:

This book centers on the Young Marie Antoinette, through her childhood to her accession to the French Throne. It’s a rather good take on the character of Marie Antoinette, they show how underprepared she was for life at the French Court. How different the Austrian Court was. They showed how Maria Theresa had to fight battle after battle to ensure the alliance took place. The marriage of Louis and Marie was so well done. The author really took her time to slowly build the relationship up and highlight how deep there love for each other became. This book was actually perfect for a historical fiction novel, stuck to the facts, very well researched about the era and had interesting characters. The only issue I had is a series but the rest of the series isn’t available in audiobook format. I hope one day the other two books get narrated and I can listen to them.  

The Romanov Empress by C. W. Gortner: 

This book centers on Tsarina Maria “Minnie” Feodorovna (mother of Nicholas II), it starts with her sisters in the engagement of the future Edward VII and to WWI and the aftermath of the Russian Revolution. The book closes out on Minnie and her remaining children fleeing to Great Britain. 

Now this book was very conflicting for me. The problem I had with this book was the characterization of Alexandra Feodorovna (Nicholas II’s wife). It seems Gortner is of the opinion that Alexandra caused the downfall of the Romanov’s, which frankly just isn’t true. The problem for me is, it could be Gortner doesn’t actually believe this, historically Minnie and Alexandra didn’t get along, the book is written from Minnie’s POV. So it’s natural that there is a lot Alexandra hate, but it also seemed over the top. The book blames Alexandra for Nicholas for celebrating after the Khodynka Tragedy (which literally ensured his poor reputation amongst the people). However, everything I’ve read on the topic indicates it was Nicholas’ uncles that insisted the parties continue. To blame Alexandra for every action Nicholas took is just incredibly unfair and simply not true. Alexandra certainly wasn’t a victim but we really need to let Nicholas II stand on his own. If you’re interested the History of Russian Rulers did amazing podcast episodes on Nicholas and really showed how his own actions led to his demise. Now the positives of this book are it really highlights Minnie’s relationship with her sister Alexandra of Denmark (who was the wife of Edward VII). It also shows how interconnected all the families of the first WWI was. The characterization of Alexander III is spot on, and the love between him and Minnie is incredibly believable. I also loved Alexander II in this book (his good and bad sides). Minnie’s relationship with her sister in law Maria of Mecklenburgh adds spice to the book. They were true frenemies. The book does a great job of taking you back to the late 1800s and into the last hours of Imperial Russia. They also highlight the danger the last Romanovs were truly in and how naïve they were to the challenges they were facing. It also showed how Minnie and Alexander’s parenting came back to bit them. Minnie seems to just face conflict after conflict with all of her children. But it’s also heartbreaking to read her reaction to her sons (not just Nicholas but also her son Michael) and grandchildren were murdered. Not to mention the other children she lost (to illness). Also the death of Alexander III was touching. If you’re interesting in Russian history I would give this a go, but take the Alexandra stuff with a huge grain of salt.

The Queens Vows by C. W. Gortner: 

This book centers on Isabel of Castile, going from her childhood to events of 1492. Now I’m going to say this if you’re interested in Gortner as an author you should read this book. Out of the three books I’ve read by him this is the one I believe is most worth your time. His exploration into the character of Isabel is near perfect. While he does have a few inaccuracies (which he mentions at the end of the book) they only add to the story. This book was really able to capture the 1400s for me in a way no other book has to date.

The marriage between Isabel and Ferdinand in this book is extremely well done. You get to see how much they love each other and how troubled the marriage could be. I truly enjoyed the characterization of her brother Henry IV. The weaknesses he had and the struggle between him and Isabel. If you enjoyed the Isabel TV Series this would be a great add on. It’s not exactly the same (Gortner makes it near certain that Isabel’s niece is illegitimate unlike the show) but it’s a perfect add on if you have been craving more since the show ended. I think Gortner handled the Jewish expulsion of 1492 very well. He notes in the back we really don’t know what went through Isabel’s head during that decision, he chose to take one version of it. He also notes how incredibly powerful the idea of damnation was, and that even if Isabel had no personal issues with Jewish people in her realm the overwhelming religious pressure cannot be denied. I agree with him on this point, and while it’s easy for us (in the 21st century) laugh off the idea of damnation in 1492 it was a part of there reality.  

The Vatican Princess by C. W. Gortner: 

This follows the life of Lucrezia Borgia from the start of her father’s succession to the papacy to her entering her marriage with Alfonso d’Este. This one by Gortner was my least favorite. Like the other two, it was incredibly well researched and it does a great job pulling you back. However, I personally didn’t like the characterizations or the route he chose at times. I’m going to give spoilers for the book FYI so scroll past if you don’t want to know. He took the route of victim Lucrezia, which doesn’t appeal to me very much. Also he had Vannozza dei Cattanei hate her daughter for steal the attention of Rodrigo, it has Giovanni Sforza be an abusive ass who sexually assaults her, it has Rodrigo sending Giulia to sleep with Giovanni Sforza to keep him off Lucrezia (And sleep with Juan as well for some reason), it has her brother Juan rape and impregnate her and he does this because he’s upset Cesare killed his lover Prince Cem and wants to hurt Cesare, has Rodrigo grow to despise Lucrezia for Cesare murdering Juan, Rodrigo allows Cesare to murder Alfonso of Aragon to hurt Lucrezia like he was hurt by Juan’s death, oh also Cesare doesn’t murder Juan for the rape itself it’s more about Juan getting to have Lucrezia “first”, it also has Vannozza upset with Lucrezia for Juan raping her as well, and has Lucrezia end up despising Cesare after the murder of Alfonso of Aragon.

Now I’m not a Borgia expert by any means but the book seems to just be filled with nonsense to me. The only good parts of this book were Sancha of Aragon and Lucrezia’s friendship (WHICH BOTH TV SERIES DENIED ME OF) and Giulia Farnese massively calling out Rodrigo for basically pimping her out. While I find the latter inaccurate it was enjoyable to read Giulia talk about how Rodrigo took her when she was barely more than a child and ruined her. Personally, I’d skip this book it’s really not worth it.

The Accidental Empress and Sisi Empress on Her Own by Allison Pataki:

This follows the life of Empress Sisi of Austria-Hungary from her childhood to her assassination.  

This is a series but the two books were read by different people so it didn’t feel like to me. I think all series should have to be read by the same person. To sum it up, the first book is interesting and the second book is a dud. 

The first book I enjoyed so much, it follows Sisi from her childhood to the Austro-Hungarian Compromise of 1867. It follows her disasters marriage with Emperor Franz Joseph at the age of 15, her struggles with her mother in law, her struggles with postpartum depression, and her romance with the Hungarian Count Andrassy. The first book really makes you feel bad for Sisi, she struggles with a rather cold abusive man who claims to love her (but only really loves her image not her) and her struggle for freedom in the Austrian Court. Sisi is more or less pushed out of Franz Joseph and her children’s life. Franz replaces her with mistresses and her mother in law takes over the role of mother to her children. The book ends on a clear high note (Sisi gaining Hungary proper status in the Empire) and honestly the author should have left it there. 

The second book is set after the birth of her final child Valerie (the only child she’s allowed to raise) and to her assassination. The book was a drag, I personally didn’t like the narrator and it took me forever to finish the book. The book makes Sisi incredibly unlikable, it makes it seem more like she abandoned her husband and family rather than being pushed out. The book opens up with Sisi having the opportunity to oversee Crown Prince Rudolf’s (And to have more involvement in his upbringing) but would rather go to Britain to ride horses. She basically is framed as being responsible for his tragedy. The author also ruins the love story she had set up between Andrassy and Sisi (which I had adored in the previous book). Now I understand you have to keep with history but you can’t set up a massive love story in the first book and they tear it down a few chapters in by the second book. The whole second book was a massive let down, I’d reread the first one but not the second one.

The Summer Queen, The Winter Crown, The Autumn Throne, by Elizabeth Chadwick: This book series centers on Eleanor of Aquitaine from childhood to death.  

This series was by far one of my favorite reads of 2019. You should really believe the hype about this series, it truly is that good. Now the books span a massive amount of time so I can’t go into everything but it was 1000% worth reading. The books explore the early Medieval World incredibly well. The author takes a highly realistic approach to Eleanor (who at the end of her first novel claims wasn’t a woman ahead of her time but rather a woman of her time) with a few dramatizations. This book series should be picked up for a TV series on Starz, HBO, or Showtime. It has all the material you need to make an epic TV series. I highly enjoyed the exploration of her marriages to both Louis VIII of France and Henry II of England. How different and yet strikingly similar the relationships were. The only slight issue I have is the author does tend to go the route of King John evil, King Richard I good. Which I personally don’t believe is true. However, they do a great job showing that even though Richard is Eleanor’s favorite she does love John. Again the books take a highly realistic approach to Eleanor so the author more or less stays away from all the rumors about her  (with the expectation of one which I find to add more to the series rather than take away). This is a must-read series, and I can only hope Elizabeth Chadwick will write more series like this. I also hope one day a TV network picks up the novels to adapt.

House of Rejoicing (Part 1), Storm in the Sky (Part 2), Eater of Hearts (Part 3) (The Book of Coming Forth by Day Series) by Libbie Hawker:  These books have multiple points of view (GRRM style) set in Ancient Egypt during the Amarna Era. Starting at the end of Amenhotep III and to the death of King Tut. The POVs range from Kiya, Nefertiti, Tiye, Sitamun, Beketaten, Horemheb, Meritaten, and Ankhesenpaaten (I might have missed some but idk). This series is not for the light of heart, the books include rape, incest, pedophilia, violence against women, etc. I mean this book series is just a lot to take in. The author goes down the route that Akhenaten was an abusive pedophile screwing every barely 13-year-old girl he could get his hands on (his daughters, sisters, sister in law etc). The concept of this series was excellent. A multi-narrative series set in Ancient Egypt, however, the series just misses the mark. I feel like Hawker wanted this to be the ASOIAF of Ancient Egypt novels but couldn’t commit. One of the biggest writing issues I had with this was how short the books were for A. the number of POVs we had, and B. for the span of time we went through. I think this series would have benefited from more books and longer novels. The author also tries to dive into the misogyny and how it affected women. However again she just misses the mark somehow. I could see what she was attempting but it just never got there if you know what I mean. I think this series feels more a draft than a finished product.  Also, the plot is a jumbled mess. Now it’s Ancient Egypt you can really do anything (especially with the Amarna era) but this series was so out there… and I’ve read Philippa Gregory. Some of the things that happened nearly had me bursting out laughing at work.  I really can’t get into all craziness of this series but it’s a lot just trust me. Like I said Akhenaten is a pedophile (actually a lot of the men were) in this book, which idk I don’t feel comfortable with how all of the problematic stuff was handled. The first book was the best book of the series and the last two are really where the craziness begins. But truly I would skip this series unless you up for hours of nonsense and craziness.

#book round up #historical fiction #personal #long post

[boat-full-of-lotus-pods]

MDZS Chapter 109.  “Concealment” Part 3

Sealing the coffin

The shove had Lan XiChen stumbling quite a few steps backwards. Before he could even process everything that just happened in the span of a few moments, Lan WangJi had already given the delicate-featured Guanyin statue a slap on the back, shaking it from its spot, sending it airborne and flying towards the coffin. Nie MingJue was still keenly studying the dead body in his hand, the head of which slumped to the side. The weight of the heavy statue knocked him over and back into the coffin.

Leaping, Wei WuXian stepped onto the Guanyin statue’s chest. With the coffin lid already broken into pieces, they could only use the statue in its stead to reseal the rampaging Nie MingJue. From beneath the statue, Nie MingJue struck it again and again, attempting to get out, shaking the statue and Wei WuXian along with it. Staggering with each strike, Wei WuXian nearly fell down. Realizing that there was no way that he could draw a talisman in this state, he said, “Lan Zhan, hurry hurry hurry, hurry and get up here with me. Two people’s weight is heavier than one. If he keeps hitting it, this Guanyin statue will definitely break apart as well……”

However, before he finished his sentence, both WuXian’s balance and line of sight suddenly tilted. Gripping one end of the coffin, Lan WangJi had already raised it up by one end.

Meaning, with just his left hand, he had lifted the heavy, wooden coffin along with the two corpses inside, the Guanyin statue above, and Wei WuXian on top of that, off the ground.

Wei WuXian was stunned speechless.

Even though he had already known that Lan WangJi had exceptional arm strength, this was still…… too shocking!

Meanwhile, without any change in expression, Lan WangJi whipped out a single, silver qin string with his right hand. Like a weaving shuttle, the qin string whooshed and wrapped around the coffin and the Guanyin statue a few dozen times, securely binding the two together. Followed by a second string, then a third…… Only after making sure that Nie MingJue and Jin GuangYao were both securely sealed did he let go of the side of the coffin he was holding up. It met the ground with a tremendous noise, sending Wei WuXian careening towards the ground. Turning, Lan WangJi caught him in his arms before carefully lowering him to the ground. Those arms capable of unspeakable strength had nothing but gentleness when they were around Wei WuXian.

Lan XiChen was still staring blankly at the coffin wrapped in seven strings, stunned and lost. Reaching out a hand, Nie HuaiSang waved it in front of him and asked in dismay, “……Xi-XiChen-ge, are you alright?”

Lan XiChen said, “HuaiSang, earlier, was he really trying to attack me from behind?

Nie HuaiSang, “I think I saw it……”

At his hesitancy, Lan XiChen pressed, “Think again, carefully.”

Nie HuaiSang replied, “If you ask me this way, I can’t be sure anymore either…… It really seemed as if……”

Lan XiChen replied, “Don’t ‘as if’! Did he or did he not?!"

Nie HuaiSang sounded distraught, “……I don’t know, I really don’t know!”

Whenever he was pressed too hard, this was the only line Nie HuaiSang knew how to say. Lowering his forehead into his hand, Lan XiChen looked as if he was suffering from a tremendous headache, and desired to speak no more.

Suddenly, Wei WuXian said, “HuaiSang-xiong[1].”

Nie HuaiSang replied, “Ah?”

Wei WuXian asked, “How did Su She stab you earlier?”

Nie HuaiSang replied, “He was carrying San-ge[3]…… carrying Sect Leader Jin and running away. I was in his way, so he……”

Wei WuXian asked, “Really? From what I remember, where you were standing was pretty far from blocking them.”

Nie HuaiSang replied, “I couldn’t have went up to them to get stabbed on purpose, could I?”

Smiling, Wei WuXian said, “I didn’t say that.”

Nie HuaiSang asked, “Then what does Wei-xiong want to say?”

Wei WuXian said, “I simply suddenly pieced together some things.”

Nie HuaiSang asked, “What things?”

Wei WuXian said, “Jin GuangYao said that someone had sent him a letter which threatened to reveal all his dirty dealings to the world in seven days’ time. Let’s suppose he wasn’t lying, that he was speaking the truth. If so, then whoever had sent the letter was being completely unnecessary.”

He continued, “If you are planning to call someone out on their crimes, why not just go ahead and do it? Why would you specifically warn them that you hold evidence of their crime?”

Nie HuaiSang replied, “Didn’t San-ge…… Didn’t Sect Leader Jin say that the person wanted him to take his own life to repent for his sins?”

Wei WuXian, “Be real, even your foot knows that Jin GuangYao would never choose to take his own life. What’s the purpose of banking on the impossible? From the surface, it seems completely pointless. However, would someone who’d dug out every one of Jin GuangYao’s secrets all those years ago really make such a wasteful move? What appeared unnecessary definitely had ulterior motives. They must have intended to orchestrate something; trigger something.”

Lan XiChen asked, surprised, “Trigger? Trigger what?”

Lan WangJi answered in a low voice, “Jin GuangYao’s killing intent.”

The usual ZeWu-Jun would never have overlooked this possibility. Now, however, he had no heart or mind left to spare for thinking anymore.

Wei WuXian said, “Precisely. This letter triggered Jin GuangYao’s bloodlust more than ever before. Didn’t the letter tell him to wait for his death in seven days’ time? Then he must make a move first, trap all the major powers of the world’s most prominent sects on the Burial Mound within seven days, and see who dies first.”

Lan XiChen said, “You are saying that this was what the letter sender had intended? To push Jin GuangYao into making a move first?”

Wei WuXian, “That’s what I think.”

Shaking his head, Lan XiChen murmured, “…… Then what exactly did the letter sender want to achieve? To unveil Jin GuangYao’s crimes or to spill the blood of every sect?”

Wei WuXian replied, “Simple. It’s to see what would happen after the siege fails. When everyone had gathered at the Lotus Pier, when all the tension and indignation were at its peak, SiSi and Bi Cao arrived—I don’t think their appearance was a coincidence. And when everything piled up all at once, the situation exploded.”

Wei WuXian paused before continuing, “He didn’t only intend for Jin GuangYao to lose his reputation and his name, he also wanted Jin GuangYao to become a public enemy. He wanted to land a critical strike—driving things to the point of no return.”

Nie HuaiSang said, “Ah, so it seems like this person has been planning this for a very long time.”

Wei WuXian looked at him and asked suddenly, “By the way, wasn’t Sect Leader Nie the one in charge of keeping ChiFeng-Zun’s body?”

Nie HuaiSang replied, “I was in charge of it originally. But I just received word tonight that Da-ge’s body in Qinghe had disappeared. Why else would I be heading over to Qinghe in such a hurry and then get snatched by Su She mid-way……”

Wei WuXian inquired, “Sect Leader Nie, I heard that you frequently visited the Gusu Lan Sect and the Lanling Jin Sect, is that right?”

Nie HuaiSang replied, “That’s right.”

Wei WuXian continued, “Then do you really not recognize Mo XuanYu?”

Nie HuaiSang, “Ah?”

Wei WuXian elaborated, “From what I recall, the first time I met you after the sacrificial host ritual succeeded, you appeared as if you didn’t recognize me at all. You even asked HanGuang-Jun who I was. But considering Mo XuanYu had harassed Jin GuangYao back then, and was close enough to him to have seen Jin GuangYao’s treasured collection of my hand-written notes, and since you frequented Sect Leader Jin to whine and complain—even if you weren’t familiar with Mo XuanYu, have you really never met him even once?”

With a hand in his hair, Nie HuaiSang said, “Wei-xiong, the Lanling Jin Sect is such a large sect, I couldn’t have met every single person there. Even if I met him before, I might not have remembered. Besides……” He continued with an awkward expression, “You know what kind of person Mo XuanYu was, it’s kind of…… the Lanling Jin Sect tried to hide the matter the best it could, it’s not that weird if I’ve never met him before. XiChen-ge might never have met him either.”

Wei WuXian said, “Oh, that’s true. ZeWu-Jun didn’t recognize Mo XuanYu either.”

Nie HuaiSang said, “Right?! And I’m a bit confused. Even if I’ve met Mo XuanYu before, why would I purposefully pretend to not know him? What would be the point of that?”

Smiling, Wei WuXian said, “Nothing. I just found it strange and wanted to ask, that’s all.”

In his heart, he said, ‘Of course it would be to test whether the “Mo XuanYu” in front of him was the real Mo XuanYu or not.’

For someone who had always been timid and fearful in other people’s eyes, where did Mo XuanYu find the courage to sacrifice his own life and body?

Where had ChiFeng-Zun’s left arm suddenly come from? Was it really an oversight from Jin GuangYao that had led to its unintentional escape?

And why had it just so happened to appear in the Mo family’s household, right where the sacrificial ritual had happened? Why had it coincidentally run into Wei WuXian right after his revival? Why hadn’t it appeared elsewhere?

ChiFeng-Zun’s corpse was buried by the Qinghe Nie Sect. Nie HuaiSang had always respected his Da-ge. Did he honestly not sense anything at all, all these years, after his brother’s corpse had been swapped?

Wei WuXian was leaning towards another possibility.

Perhaps Nie HuaiSang really was a ‘headshaker’ before the death of Nie MingJue. But after Nie MingJue’s death, he learned everything—including the fact that Nie MingJue’s corpse had been swapped, and what kind of person that the San-ge he used to trust really was.

He tried to find his Da-ge’s corpse to the best of his ability. Yet, after many years of expense, effort, and hard work, he only found a single left arm.

And then he was stuck and lost on where to go from there. Not to mention that the left arm was unusually fierce and aggressive. It was difficult to suppress and would only attract endless calamities the longer he kept it. Thus, he thought of someone—someone who was an expert at dealing with matters such as this.

The Yiling Patriarch.

But the Yiling Patriarch had already died without leaving even a full corpse behind. What was he supposed to do?

And so he thought of someone else, someone who had been chased out of the Koi Tower—Mo XuanYu.

Perhaps Nie HuaiSang had approached Mo XuanYu for the purpose of fishing information from him, and, from Mo XuanYu’s depressed recounting, learned that he had once seen bits and pieces from a worn out scroll of Jin GuangYao’s which detailed an ancient, wicked ritual. He then encouraged Mo XuanYu, who had suffered enough oppression and humiliation from his own family, to sacrifice himself and use the forbidden ritual for revenge.

And which sinister abomination should he summon?

The Yiling Patriarch, of course.

Unable to withstand his current life, Mo XuanYu finally set up the blood array. All the while, Nie HuaiSang took the opportunity to toss the hot potato that he couldn’t hold onto any longer—and unleashed ChiFeng-Zun’s left arm on the Mo family.

Since then, the plan had successfully kicked off in motion, and Nie HuaiSang no longer had to waste energy or effort to find the remaining pieces of Nie MingJue’s corpse. Just leave all the dangerous, difficult parts for Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi to handle. He only needed to observe their every move from the shadows.

When Jin Ling, Lan SiZhui, Lan JingYi and the other youths had encountered the incident with the dead cats, someone had obviously been creating strange events on purpose. Together with the nonexistent “hunter” from the nearby village who had pointed them the way, no doubt the whole point had been to lure the group of naïve and guileless young cultivators into Yi City. It wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to think that, had Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi failed to protect them and kept them out of harm’s way, if anything had happened to them in the Yi City, this crime would no doubt also be pinned onto Jin GuangYao as well.

Either way, anything that could add onto Jin GuangYao’s pillar of crimes, anything that could lure this careful, meticulous sinner into making more mistakes, anything that could possibly be leveraged would be used. The more the better. He wanted to make sure Jin GuangYao suffered the worse fate possible.

With the tip of Bichen, Lan WangJi flipped over the black box beside the coffin. Giving the talisman carved over it a glance, he said to Wei WuXian, “The head.”

This box was originally used to keep Nie MingJue’s head. After Jin GuangYao had moved it out of the Koi Tower, this was likely where he had sealed it.

Returning a nod, Wei WuXian said, “Sect Leader Nie, do you know what was kept in this coffin originally?”

Nie HuaiSang said, “How would I know? But looking at San-ge……I mean, looking at how Sect Leader Jin was, it’s probably something very important to him.”

-

Footnotes:

[1]: HuaiSang-xiong: Nie HuaiSang and Wei WuXian have been calling each other “xiong” (older brother) since their school days. In this instance, I don’t think it’s an indication of their relative age with one another but a term they chose to call each other out of familiarity, like the English equivalent of “bro”

[2]: San-ge: third-oldest brother.

#魔道祖师 #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #novel translation #my translation

[chinawof]

Mischievous Pup & Test Talks - Self Para

There was a plastic clatter as her hand smacked the test down on the table, to the stun of her two sisters who sat on the sofa looking at her expectantly. Lauryn gulped, and Chi kept up her strongest glare.

“That isn’t funny,” China stated.

Sierra seemed hesitant, because, honestly, it wasn’t a joke in a sense. She had legitimately thought that her sister may be pregnant. 

The silence lingered. China stared at Lauryn, then Sierra, and then back again, waiting for something, but she got nothing.

Her hand gestured to the test - an untaken one she had brought from the local store just before that matched the one her sisters had gotten. 

“Liam’s dad saw it, Delta was carrying it around,” She grumbled, “Thanks for that.” Her eyes looked away for a small second as she rolled them. 

There was a look on her sisters faces of apologies they wanted to say, but what could they really do now?

“Chi, we’re so sorry...” Sierra spoke first, realising Lauryn felt guilty enough at the moment in time, and it was her responsibility as the older sibling to deal with this, “What’d you tell him?” 

A beat. And then the lie tumbled easily from her lips, “That my sisters are crazy and think they’re comedians.” 

A stressed hand ran over her eyes, making Sierra sigh softly. 

“Chi, we didn’t mean-”

China held up a hand stopping the words in their tracks. “It’s done, and dealt with, but please, please don’t do this again.” 

“Of course not.” Lauryn spoke now looking ashamedly at the test, she chewed her lip nervously, and China knew there was more to come, “You should probably check your suitcase then, but that’s the only other one.” 

There was a huff from the younger of the three, and a hand on her hip, so motherly already and her two sisters had no real idea.

Sierra stood carefully, and put a hand on China’s shoulder from her taller stance, hoping to settle the anger. “But did you think about taking it?” She asked. 

That earned Sierra another glare. 

She was about to apologise to her baby sister, when they were all caught off guard. A dark haired, mischievous little pup had wandered into the living room, and Delta instantly saw the test on the table. 

She’d missed those. Mama and papa had hid them from her, so it was her only choice now. 

Delta ran, as fast as her little legs would take her and lunged to grab the test.

“Delta, no!” China scolded as she saw the pup, and raced to beat her to the test, but it was too late; by the time her hand reached for the test, it was long gone and the only image of Delta left was a happily wagging tail as she ran up the stairs. 

“This is your two’s fault.” China pointed out in a huff, turned, and went to start up the stairs. 

The sound of a familiar car pulling up outside had her stopping in her tracks. Her face paled. Lauryn realised and pulled back the blind to see MJ McClain parking up his car in the drive. 

“It’s dad.” She announced, but they all very much knew it was him already.

“Shit.” Chi cursed, Sierra was about to scold it, but she quickly added on, “The test. If he see’s-”

And all three of them kicked into action, because they knew very much in their highly religious house that if their father saw a pregnancy test - regardless of if it was taken or not - there would be hell to pay.

They bolted. 

“I’ll cut her off at the back.” Lauryn said as she ran.

“I’ll distract dad.” Sierra made a beeline for the front door.

Chi didn’t say anything, but resumed her rush up the stairs to find wherever Delta had gotten to.

She could faintly hear Sierra asking her dad about his day, what was for dinner, and trying to tell him his car had a scratch that he had to see. Whatever the efforts were, it seemed he was pretty set on going inside, so Chi panicked more. 

She couldn’t find Delta in the bathroom, or anyone else’s bedrooms. Settling to check her room, she was met with a lazing Cujo on the end of her bed. He already seemed disturbed by something, so she guessed she was in the right spot to find Delta.  

“Delta, please.” She begged a little, as she walked around her bed. “I’ll give you a treat, anything.” 

The pup wasn’t budging, but as she got around to the furthest side of her bed, she saw a distinct black tail sticking out from under the comforter. 

Chi knelt and lifted the blanket. 

“Delta,” She sighed softly as she came face to face with the pup who was pretty set on chewing on the plastic of the test. “Please?” She tried again and offered her hand for the pup to give her the test over.

Except it had the very opposite effect. And Delta darted from beneath the bed, straight out of the other side and out of the door. 

“Little shit.” She cursed as she stood quickly, a little too quickly making herself slightly dizzy, before darting out to the hallway in time to see the pup pass by her parent’s room. 

She ran straight past Sierra’s room and into a pair of legs China knew well.

Stunned from running straight into someone, Delta dropped the test and lay a little limp on the hallway floor, dazed for only a second. She was about to grab the test again when someone snatched it from in front of her, in a manly hand.

China gulped.

Her eyes were fixed on one spot. She watched as the test was lifted and looked over by her baby brother of all people.

Great.

“Gabe,” Chi started, mouth hanging open as she tried to find the words to say, “I can explain.”

There was a wideness and a shock to her little brother’s eyes, he passed the test to her as if it was something foul and shook his head.

“Don’t need to. That’s... none of my business,” He informed her, wiping his hands off on his jeans. 

“Gabe,” China sighed again, tucking the test in her own jeans pocket. 

“Chi, I won’t tell mom, or dad. Or anyone else.” Gabe reassured her, and much like Sisi had before, he rested a hand on her shoulder. “If you ever need help or anything, you know to come and ask me. Whatever is your personal business and you don’t want me to know, I don’t need to know.” 

There was this way he smiled, so cheeky and so like Gabe that it made her smile too. Before she wrapped him in a tight hug and whispered a faint, “Thank you.” 

Delta whimpered a little, and Chi pulled away to meet the pleading eyes of the pup who was now sat next to them. “You’re in trouble.” She informed Delta, who bowed her head a little as if she knew what that meant exactly.

Gabe gave a chuckle as he walked back into his room and closed his door, but she could have sworn she heard the ever so faint, “You’re going to make a great mom one day,” as he did so. 

China heard the voices of Sierra and her father in the downstairs hallway, and knew she needed to move and hide the test. Delta bashfully followed her mama into the bedroom, where China took the test from her pocket and looked it over. The plastic had definitely been chewed up, and Delta was curled facing away from her ashamed that she had gotten herself into trouble. 

For a small moment she felt bad for getting mad at the pup; knew Delta didn’t know or understand why this was such a big deal, she probably saw it as a game, or something nice to chew on and help her growing teeth.

And then Chi felt bad all the more, and tears started flowing before she even had a chance to stop them.

Damn hormones.

China didn’t realise someone had come upstairs and down the hall until the bedroom door was opened and Sierra was looking at her as if all she wanted in the world was to protect her baby sister. She saw the tears, and instantly crossed the room, closing the door back over behind herself. Settling on the bed, there was only a moment before China was in her arms and crying into her shoulder, still holding the damn chewed up test. 

Sierra held her for as long as she needed, supporting China as she always had and always would, but she knew, and she had a very clear feeling her baby sister knew, too.

There were so many obvious signs Sierra was trying to not bring up. The fact China could go from happy, to furious, and now a crying mess in all of ten minutes, or the way she wouldn’t eat breakfast with them because she looked like she would be sick from the thought of them having coffee. Hell, she tried to deny it, but she had even caught China awake an hour or two earlier than them and throwing up in the bathroom a few days ago, clearly trying to hide what was happening.

It broke her heart to realise it, but she knew China must have been terrified.

Sierra let her rest there in her arms rocking them both gently until the tears stopped, and Chi was just sitting there staring at the test in her hands. 

“If you take that test, Chi, you don’t have to be alone.” She said, softly and quietly so as not to disturb the peace. “And whatever it says, I’m here for you. For whatever you need.” 

Silence.

Sierra thought for a moment that China was debating it; just getting up and taking that test so they both finally had an answer. 

What happened next stunned her entirely.

“I don’t need to take the test.” Chi’s voice was quiet and soft, but in the silent room it still spoke volumes, “I already know I am.”

A soft hand smoothed over China’s arm comfortingly, because Sierra knew it, too. “You should still take one. It could be a lot of nothing.” She spoke just as calmly, tucking some hair behind China’s ear. Her hand moved to cup Chi’s chin and bring her gaze upwards to meet her own, concerned and very serious own.

China shook her head, and her eyes, despite being pointed toward Sierra, looked toward the ceiling in embarrassment. “I know, Sisi... Liam and I...” She sucked in a small breath, “We’ve been to the doctor,” Her tone dropped quiet again, “They said I am.” 

There was a breath, in which China was waiting for her sister to give her disapproval. And Sierra felt herself break a little at knowing China’s anguish. 

Then, in a fluid motion, Sierra had taken the test from China’s grasp, tucked it in the bedside drawer, and laid down on the bed with China still held close to her.

“We don’t have to talk about it, Chi.” Sierra began, which made China scoff softly. 

“But you want to?” She finished for Sierra, felt a stronger hold over her holding her closer like that would help this feel better.

“I want to talk about you and if you’re okay.” 

There was another moment of quietness as the two of them laid there before China broke it with a quiet, “Are you mad at me?” that made Sierra’s heart break.

“No.” She answered quickly, shifting position to tilt China’s gaze up to her own. “Is that what you’re scared of?” 

There was an ashamed way China avoided Sierra’s gaze that she knew very well, knowing instantly that was a yes.

“China,” Sierra sighed, and held her closer, “I know you’ve had a life that is all about doing what other people say and want you to do. We all have. We follow the rules. We show up where we need to be. And we do whatever is asked of us. But we’re not children any more. You’re not a child any more. It’s your life and your choices. I have nothing to be mad at.” 

She knew China was crying again, feeling a dampness through her tee softly, so ran her hand up and down China’s arm soothingly. 

“You know the choices you have?” Sisi asked, still pointing her gaze down. Chi nodded, so she gave a small smile, “Have you and Liam talked about them?” 

A small shake of her head now before an even quieter, “We... we want to do this.”

Sierra softly let her hand wipe away China’s tears. “Then you’re going to do this, Chi. No one else’s opinion on it matters but yours, and Liam’s.” 

“But,” And finally her fears slipped free, “Mom and Dad.” 

Sierra gave her a sympathetic look and knew entirely what Chi was worried about. Hell, she was scared of it for her baby sister, too. 

“I can’t promise what they’re going to be like,” Sierra offered instead. “But I know for a fact I’m here for you, and Lauryn will be, and Gabe when he knows, too. And whether or not Mom and Dad make a good or bad choice, we are going to be here as your family.” She reassured, saw teary eyes look to meet hers and gave a gentle smile. “I promise that.” 

China let her tired eyes close for only a moment, until she felt her sister’s hand resting over her shirt where her stomach was, hand splayed to cover the still flat surface. 

“And we’re going to be right here for this little girl, too.”

That at least brought the smile to China’s face, like she knew it would. “It doesn’t have a gender yet.” She informed her.

Sierra gave a shrug of her shoulders, “I’m never wrong.” 

With a roll of her eyes, China’s hand rested atop of Sierra’s, “Liam and I quite like the idea of it being a boy.”

Sierra gave a smile now too and replied in a sing-song voice, “You two are going to be disappointed~” Before she softly kissed the top of China’s head. “Now rest. You’ve been on an emotional roller coaster. I’ll let Liam know you’re okay.” She promised, which made China quirk an eyebrow softly, “I’ll be nice. For my niece’s sake.” 

It earned her a nudge in the side but they both laughed a little before Chi realised just how right Sierra was; she was exhausted. Sierra held her close and hummed a soft tune from one of their old church songs, and Chi lay there and just listened until her eyes drifted shut, finding sleep easily now some of the burden was lifted from her shoulders.

#(mischievous pup & test talks: self para.) #(sierra.) #(gabe.) #(lauryn.)

[skekteksfurby]

Monthly Movies #3: August 2019

Ít’s that time of the month again! Time to look back on all of the movies/specials I watched in August! 

Missing Link (2019): By the Ancients, this movie came out in 2019? It feels like years ago to me somehow. Maybe it’s because of weird sudden influx of Sasquatch/Yeti movies recently. I don’t know. Anyways, this movie was kinda okay? I enjoyed it fine. The animation was breathtaking obviously and Susan was a nice character. The main character is a bit of a problem for me because he’s such an unlikable and selfish jerk throughout a lot of the movie that his redemption kind of feels too late. There’s also some possible transphobic subtext in this movie I’ve noticed (and seen others notice, too) with how everyone keeps “deadnaming” Susan.

Coco (2017): What even can I say about this film that hasn’t already been said? It’s gorgeous, has amazing characters, a true heart to it, memorable songs, a twist villain that actually kind of works, wonderful world-building for the Land of the Dead... I just love this movie and it’s up there with some of my favorites of Pixar.

The Lion Guard: The Rise of Scar (2017): I remember so little of this. Like, I really like this show, but I just for the life of me cannot recall what happened in this special of The Lion Guard. I know Scar returns but, really, that’s it? I didn’t enjoy this special too much, that’s what I do recall, since I only gave it two out of five stars.

Savva: Heart of the Warrior/Hero Quest/A Warrior’s Tail (2015): Yes, this movie really has three titles. It’s a chaotic mess of a film, mostly in tone and character designs. I felt like it did have a good idea somewhere deep down inside this. The world and world-building isn’t too horrible and could actually be interesting with more fine-tuning and some rewrites. The character designs were also promising, and some of them were definitely good (the wolves, the Rickies, Savva, the dragon). Even the main message wasn’t too horrible. But the rest... not so much. The main villain, a three-headed ape, is simply comic relief and not really a threat. The comic relief was just over the top and all over the place in this film. It’s just a tone-deaf mess. Don’t even bother watching it for the wolf designs like I did.

The Croods (2013): I remember really hating this movie when I first saw it, but, honestly, I don’t get it anymore. Sure, Dreamworks has done the “overprotective father figure against another character that brings all sorts of new ideas with them”-trope before with Over the Hedge, but it felt new enough. The world this family of cavemen live in is nicely colorful and has tons of interesting animals. The characters weren’t anything new, but the rest held up well enough. The animation is good, though I never liked the human character designs in this movie much.

Hoodwinked! (2005): I’m saying what a lot of people have already said. The animation is utter shit, but the humor is so absurd it’s actually kind of hilarious. I laughed out loud quite a bit at this movie. So ultimately I do recommend it, if you can stomach the shitty visuals.

Rocko’s Modern Life: Static Cling (2019): I have like no memory whatsoever of the original show, but this special had a trans arc in it so I obviously needed to see it. I support Rachel Bighead so much. You go, girl. As for the special itself, it was pretty funny and had a good message. Nice animation that looks similar to the screenshots and clips I did see of the original.

Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus (2019): Come on, I had to watch this. It’s got Richard Horvitz in the role of an over the top small villain. As a Kaos fan I cannot pass up the opportunity. Now, for this thing, I also had no idea what the original show was about. I watched it when I was little, unlike Rocko, but never truly liked it or got it (probably was too young). The animation in this one was nice and I liked the voice acting, but the rest just became one big blur for me. It was really hard to keep my attention on this one.

Alpha and Omega: Dino Digs (2016): I present to you, the after-one worst movie I’ve seen all year until now. Funnily enough, the actual worst movie I’ve seen is also an Alpha and Omega sequel, except it’s the fifth. The only reason this one isn’t below Family Vacation is that FV was so unforgivably lazy with everything. It’s just a clip show with some new tidbits of animation added in between. As for Dino Digs, it’s every bit as nonsensical and bizarre as you expect, but not in the good way. The writing is lazy as shit, things just go unexplained forever, the animation horrible, the villains complete jokes and there’s... bird dance numbers. Enough said.

Dark Shadows (2012): It had some fun moments in it. That’s all I can say. The rest is just a blur of a memory by now. It has some vampires and werewolves in it, so that’s nice.

Speckles: The Tarbosaurus (2012): This movie/documentary focuses on a Tarbosaurus named Speckles and his struggles in life. I’ve been recommended this movie several times and, yeah, it was all right. Informative (though I don’t know if the information is still accurate) while also telling a story. Honestly, this movie is pretty depressing considering the amount of death in it. My main point that’s holding it back is the voice acting. The voices just sounded too forced and the acting wasn’t too great. 

The Lion King (2019): Yes bitches I watched it in cinemas twice. I love this movie, I love the hyenas, I really like the visuals and music. The rest I’ve already said in my July Movie Thoughts when I first saw it.

The Angry Birds Movie (2016): It’s just really, really boring. A nice colorful world, but the rest is just such a drag to get through. Props for the animation, but not much else. I will give them credit for at least succeeding to make a movie out of something as small as a mobile game.

The Last Unicorn (1982): This movie is just really pretty to look at. It feels like an old painting come to life. I didn’t find myself caring particularly much about any of the characters, but the animation and visuals were definitely what gives it major points in my book. Just look at this one if you want a nice hand-drawn fantasy movie.

Beauty and the Beast (1991): This is a very good Disney movie. Belle and the Beast are wonderful characters, the animation is nothing short of spectacular, the colors beautiful, the villain genuinely threatening and enjoyable to watch... It’s just one of the better Disney movies if you ask me. It does still have some iffy stuff in it with how the Beast treats Belle at first and I’m actually not a fan of the songs in this one, particularly Be Our Guest. But other than that, this is a definite fave.

The Jungle Book (2016): I re-watched this one to see whether I prefer this one or The Lion King remake, since I both love them very much. I’ve ultimately come to the conclusion that I still like this one better, but The Lion King 2019 is a close second for sure. Beautiful animation on the animals and a remake that actually differs in the right ways from the source material and surpasses it by far. 

Leafie: A Hen into the Wild (2011): A gorgeous movie that should get more recognition. A wonderful mother-son story that will tug on your heartstrings (especially the uncut ending). Perfect backgrounds and amazing animation. My only gripes with it are the completely useless subplot with the rooster and some of the gross-out.

Kayla: A Cry in the Wilderness (1997): Just a nice “kid befriends husky and ends up doing a sled dog race”-movie. I’m pretty sure that’s a genre by now? The simple story of a boy coming to terms with his father’s death and befriending a feral husky named Kayla in the process. Nothing really stood out about it.

Two Brothers (2004): A cute idea for a movie idea about tigers, but I really think they should’ve used less actual animals in it and more animatronics/CGI/greenscreening. It might not have looked as spectacular, but with the real tigers they did use I pick up on a lot of scenes that made me and, looking at the animals’ body language, the animals too, uncomfortable.

My Little Pony: The End of Flutter Valley (1986): This just should’ve been a special of the series instead of ten awkwardly cut episodes that form one movie/special. The way they paced it, especially with this being ten episodes, was just really awkward. This might work for shorter specials (two/three-parters), but not a flat out movie. The animation is average, the villains jokes (seriously, who thought it was a good idea to bring back the annoying as fuck witches from the original?) and the voice acting really grating.

The Lion Guard: Battle of the Pridelands (2019): Nearly forgot to put this one on the list because it doesn’t have a Letterboxd entry yet. But it definitely counts. I really enjoyed this special episode of The Lion Guard, actually. It may not be the strongest series out there, but season 3 definitely was much better than the rest. This special has a lot of what I wanted to see: nice songs, the cast aging up, more explanation as to what exactly Scar and his “mark of evil” are and Janja’s redemption arc. It still has some flaws. When Scar first said “Sisi Ni Sawa” in his threatening speech, it actually felt genuinely fear-inducing. But then he started to sing the rest of the song as he went on and it just became cringe-worthy. Also, as much as I love his character, Janja was too easily forgiven and redeemed. He literally attempted to murder two cubs in season 2. You can’t just suddenly come back from being an attempted child murderer and get forgiven just like that.

Frozen (2013): I don’t get the hate nor love for this movie. It’s nice. That’s it. Good animation and songs, but I don’t connect much to any of the characters. Also, hey, guess what? A twist villain that doesn’t work.

The Lego Ninjago Movie (2017): These Lego movies are just so damn good for whatever reason? While the animation is a bit different in this one (not everything, including elements like water, smoke and fire, is made out of existent Lego pieces anymore), it’s still really good. We also get some breathtakingly realistic cat animation on Meowthra. Lloyd’s arc also felt really heartfelt, and the villain was quite enjoyable.

Equestria Girls: Sunset’s Backstage Pass (2019): Eh, still not a fan of these Equestria Girls specials, sorry. While I thought this one was a tad better than the last few we got, I still do not care much about them. Pinkie was quite obnoxious in this one, which just irked the heck out of me. 

Another month full of movies! See ya’ll in October!

#equestria girls #my little pony #my little pony friendship is magic #sunset's backstage pass #lego ninjago movie #frozen #battle of the pridelands #the lion guard #the rise of scar #the end of flutter valley #kayla: a cry in the wilderness #two brothers #leafie: a hen into the wild #the jungle book #2016 #the lion king #2019 #beauty and the beast #the last unicorn #the angry birds movie #speckles the tarbosaurus #dark shadows #alpha and omega dino digs #hoodwinked! #the croods #rocko's modern life: static cling #savva #hero quest #heart of the warrior #a warrior's tail

[charlottesryder]

➰ ( HAYDEN PANETTIERE, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ) *✧.:°░｡ —- is that CHARLOTTE SIMONE RYDER ?! you know them, right? they are the TWENTY-FOUR year old UNMARKED SHADOWHUNTER !! they’re known for being ADAPTABLE & NURTURING - but i’d be careful if i were you because they’re also MORBID & TEMPERAMENTAL. 

what??? another character?? when will i stop?! ( the answer is never *sigh* ) anyways, this is charlotte, she’s new in town and could use some love. ( also this got kind of long & i apologize... )

potential trigger warnings - death, violence, mental illness, hospitals

so this isn’t her first life - no where near it, honestly. her soul is old af ( i haven’t decided exactly how old yet, but she probably remembers a time before eris was born so? old. ) and it causes her Stress™. 

in her first life she was a warlock and a Bad Person™ and she wound up cursed & killed by some people she pissed off. i plan to write out a selfpara at some point about this, but basically she’s cursed to live a mortal life ( mundane, half-fae, banshee, werecat/wolf, shadowhunter, etc. ), die, and come back over and over again bc she doesn’t deserve to find peace in death.

in some lives she gets lucky and remembers nothing from her previous lives, sometimes she only remembers bits and pieces ( also considers this getting lucky ), but then there are times when she remembers literally every past life - these are the hardest lives for her.

okay so here’s the dealio, kids - she’s an unmarked shadowhunter this go ‘round. lemme explain how this happened, hopefully without causing any confusion.

her biological mother was a shadowhunter ( from right here in la, so older shadowhunters may have known her ) who chose to leave the clave to be with a man ( he was either a mundane, a merman, a banshee, or a werewolf - i’m undecided. fight me. ) and live out a normal life, ya know? they’d had a child before charlotte, but the clave had already come in and laid claim to them before she was born ( this will be a wc, they’d be a shadowhunter, 32yo or older ). 

her father left ( or died, or something? honestly have i actually decided anything at all? no. ) shortly after, while her mother was still pregnant.

her mother died in childbirth. her dad was gone, contact with her mother’s family or the clave was forbidden, meaning there was no next of kin for the hospital to call.

within less than a week charlotte was adopted by a couple that had been tried to have kids but never could and instead filled the void by adopting. it was a sealed adoption, so by the time the clave went looking for her she was long gone and practically untraceable.

the ryder family took her back home to new orleans, louisiana, where she grew up with three older siblings.

her parents ended up getting divorced when she was around six. it was honestly pretty civil though? like, no fighting over the kids or the house? her mom let her dad have everything and moved out to los angeles, where the kids would come and visit every summer.

her adoptive parents are both downworlders - her mother is a seelie and her father is a werecat - as are two of her siblings. as far as charlotte knows she’s just a mundane with the sight.

her memories came back as a result of her significant other dying - she likely won’t talk about this person, but i may do up a wc for their ghost? basically they were out together, date night was cut short when they were killed in front of her. she thought they were the love of her life but she literally felt nothing when they died, and she still feels really guilty about it? when she got home and went to bed that night she was hit with tons of memories - mostly memories of watching loved ones die ( which is why she was numb when she saw them die?? ). she tried talking with her dad about it - turns out that wasn’t the best idea??

spent three years in a hospital due to suddenly remembering her past lives, still struggles from time to time but she’s mostly got a handle on it now?? the memories are still coming back, and she sometimes gets dizzy spells bc of it.

she’ll occasionally take on traits from her past lives when she’s around people she used to know, from a shift in her accent ( which is normally a thick southern/louisianan accent ) to old habits.

she’s just moved into town and if she hadn’t spent all her money getting here she’d be hightailing it back home bc??? there’s a huge mess?? that she doesn’t want to get tangled up in???

she’ll answer to any variation of her name - charlotte, charlie, charles, lotte, letty, simone, simon, mona, sisi, ryder - that you can think of? 

has a hairless cat named mordin that belonged to her s/o, as well as a pittbull named bart ( bartholomew ).

practices mundane witchcraft/magic.

is looking for a job???

tbh there’s probably more but this is long & i should stop so pls just come plot with me <333

#wilshire:intro #death tw #hospital tw

[nourantahoun-blog]

Hyper-normalisation: An Application to Chomsky’s PropagandaTheory

Watching Hypernormalisation, the British documentarian Adam Curtis attempts to explain various realities like the decline of political power in a corporate age, the rise of global terrorism, America’s secret history in the Middle East, the hollow narcissism of cyberspace. This documentary was a thought-provoking one especially when I recall Chomsky’s theory and his propaganda model. There are some parts in the documentary that attracts my attention more than others. This is probably because it taps on similar issues we are living on a daily basis in Egyptian politics and media propaganda.

Honestly, I used to be believe that Chomsky’s 5 media filters are mainly implemented in Middle East region because of the authoritative regimes the countries suffer from, unlike, as I thought, the western individualized culture and politics. However, this documentary unfolded the fact that creating a manufactured fake consent is a global issue.

First, Curtis tackles, at the beginning of this document, the failure of the Soviet Union’s dream to have a more developed transformed society. The Soviet Union discovered it is nearly impossible to control and predict everything. However, instead of revealing this fact, the technocrats pretended that everything was still going according to the plan. As a result, what emerged instead was a fake version of the society where everyone knew that what their leaders said wasn’t authentic. This is exactly the scenario in Egypt where people know that they are brainwashed as they would see that the economical and political pillars are falling apart. However, everybody has to play along because no one could imagine any alternative. This is what I see as fear. People are afraid of the unknown and the confrontation of the paralyzed complexity of real world. This is exactly what most of the government wants due to its benefits to them. In response, governments and corporations in power “constructed a simpler version of the world in order to hang onto power,” spreading propaganda narratives that they own.

Tackling this point, one Russian professor, Alexei Yurchak, invented the term called hypernormalisation. He said in the documentary that “you’re so much a part of the system that was impossible to see beyond it.” This sentence rings a bell for me as an Egyptian spectator. It showed that it is pivotal for me, and others as well, to detach ourselves from the news and complex world we are witnessing to be able to get a broader insight. The fakeness has become way hypernormal.

Second, Chomsky’s “common enemy” filter was obviously striking in the example of Colonel Qadafi. As Curtis argued, the United States ruthlessly used Qadafi to create a fake terrorist mastermind. Afterwards, due to their own benefits and policies, US turned Qadafi to be fake hero of democracy. It is intriguing that reality has become something that politicians play with to achieve certain planned results at the end. It is a thought-provoking how can leaders use media to create facts to make their opponents looks wrongdoer and villain. This reminds me with the “flak” filter Chomsky’s tackled in his theory.

Third, the “perception management”, applied by US administration in 1980s, revealed how western government were the engineers of fake world. Similarly, Egyptian government enforces certain framings where everyone, not just politicians would become involved. Public relations, academics, television presenters, spies, and even musicians were all going to help reinvent President Sisi, for example, after losing a wide range of popularity among Egyptians. That was the scenario when US did the same with Qadafi.

A separate thought I want to add when I visually analysed the part of the failure of Soviet Union. I recognized that Curtis concentrated the actual footage on exposing only female subjects. In other words, when he wanted to reflect the failure and fakeness of the Soviet Union population, he got a footage for a shy, desperate and passive women who were asked what would you wish for. She replied that she doesn’t wish for anything and doesn’t have any dreams because there is no trust in anyone. I do not know why all this part was given to females VO to express the failure. I think that most probably Curtis here was reasserting the stereotyping of Russia which is having beautiful attractive ladies. So when he had to cover issue related to Soviet Union, he found that Russian women would be the perfect outlet. Finally, I wonder who is the audience of this documentary. Does Curtis address the majority of people all around the world? Or Does he target well intellectual thinkers and politicians? These questions popped out in my mind because the VO of the narrator said: “it didn’t matter if the stories are true or distracting people and “you, the politician”’     

[airmidtheawakened]

Edge of the Blade, Part 2

Hello my lovelies! Welcome to the second installment of this magical mystery tour! I’m your host, Airmid, and I hope you enjoy the further adventures of my cabal.

When we last left off, my intrepid band of abductees had just busted out of our Sartre-inspired prison and were on our way through the stairwells of Dr. Westgate’s test facility. We found ourselves in an underground tram station with a car ready and waiting to take us to freedom. But you didn’t think it’d be that easy, did you? Because it wasn’t. Dr. Westgate’s head security douche, Lars, was there waiting for us with one of the other guards. They said we could either go back with them upstairs and have a chance at living, or they’d shoot us right there. Which actually wasn’t all that great a trade off. Cuz see I I figured that a quick death from a gunshot would be preferable to whatever body horrors awaited us in those tests. But I wasn’t gonna just accept death quietly, either. So I charged the nameless guard and then all hell (sort of) broke loose.

I didn’t exactly put up a good fight, but I made one hell of a good distraction while other people did the actual work. One of those ‘people’ was a dog who showed up shortly after the fight started. He’s a big ol’ pupper, jet black with bright eyes and docked ears. Lipsy named him Edgar. That’s Ellipsis, by the way. In case you were wondering. So yeah, Edgar went all angry guard dog on the guy I was fighting and managed to down him pretty easily. So after that was finished I leapt onto Lars like an angry spider monkey and kept him from shooting while Saki and Lipsy headed for the tram. SiSi (Sinopa) and Edgar managed to knock Lars unconscious while he was busy trying to deal with me.

Lipsy was passed out from his injuries by the time we all made it into the tram, and the rest of us were so tired that we pretty much just flopped into the seats while (by some miracle) the tram started and pulled out of the underground station.

Eventually Lipsy woke up and we found out something else cool. Edgar talks! I guess he’s not actually a dog, but a magical being that Lipsy’s dead brother sent to protect him? Or something? I don’t quite know. Edgar was talking while Lipsy was signing and it’s kinda hard to get straight answers when you’re only hearing half of a conversation.

The rest of the trip was quiet. We didn’t really say much on the tram. Eventually it stopped at an old factory of some sort. There was a girl around our age waiting for us. She’s mute, and really didn’t acknowledge us other than to motion for us to get in her car. It was honestly really awkward. At least Lipsy recognized where we were. It was somewhere near the city he lived in. Which was nice to know, I guess. It cleared up one mystery.

Aces took us to a massive house in the countryside. We were greeted by a really cool old dude named En. He brought us inside and offered us tea and explained what happened to us. Which I will summarize here because holyyyyyy shit was it a lot to take in.

1. We were officially mages.

2. Magic has always existed, but through a bunch of pride-induced political bullshit, things went south and we have to keep it all a secret. Which seemed super uncool to me at the time, but I’ve learned my lesson since.

3. Due to said political bullshit, there’s a group of extremist mages called the Seers of the Throne who want all other mages dead. They’re the ones who kidnapped us. And because they were going to keep looking for us, we had to lay low until they called off the hunt.

4. Somehow we’d been gone for months, almost a year for some, at a time. Yet we didn’t have any memories of the gap between our abductions and the test. Which was distressing, but there wasn’t much we could do about it then. Those answers would have to come later.

En also told us about all the different paths and arcana and whatnot. I’m a Thyrsus mage, Lipsy is Moros, SiSi is Obrimos, and Saki is Acanthus. En is Moros, and Aces is Mastigos. Then there’s Mr. Fisher (hereafter known as Sideburns), En’s butler guy. He’s Acanthus.

Like I said, it was a lot to take in. We’d had a very long day and decided getting some rest would be better than any more prolonged lectures. En said we were gonna stay with him and learn to control our new powers. After we got that down – and the Seers stopped looking for us – we could go back to our families and our old lives if we wanted. But that decision was a ways off yet.

The next day we were greeted by an amazing breakfast, so after packing that away (and boy, can Lipsy pack it away! Where does it all go? That guy’s skinny as fuck!) we started our first lessons. It was all simple stuff. SiSi learned how to read magical energies, Lipsy asked a dead rat how it died and made a still bowl of water dance in the air, Saki manipulated probability to make a coin flip the way he wanted to. I learned how to talk to spirits and heal basic injuries. The spirit thing was really cool. I did some twirls while humming “Circle of Life” - dancing helps me get into the right mindspace to perceive the ephemeral world – and met a book spirit! It was kind of hyperactive, but super nice. I couldn’t wait to see what other new spirit friends I’d be able to meet. Seeing as how I was gonna be cooped up in En’s house for the foreseeable future, I was going to need all the social outlets I could get.

There was one thing that concerned me, though. Sideburns was a major ass to Saki. Since they’re on the same path, En suggested he teach Saki the basics. Which worked fine for the probability spells, but the second lesson was trying to teach Saki how to divine the results of simple actions. So Sideburns blindfolded him, grabbed a sword, and told him to try and figure out where to move to avoid getting stabbed. While that isn’t as fucked up as Dr. Douchegate’s tests, it’s still really not cool. Especially taking what we just survived into account. And then when Naji failed the lesson twice, Sideburns had the nerve to berate him and tell him he’d never be good for anything other that relying on other people.  As if there’s anything wrong with that in the first place? Lipsy, SiSi and I all have Saki’s back. I healed Saki’s cuts and we all gave Sideburns a verbal lashing for being such a dick. Even then, only a day after we’d met, it was ride or die for my cabal. You mess with one, and we will all come down on you like a mother fucking steamroller.

So yeah, that marks the start of our magical education and Professor En’s School for the Gifted. I actually kinda miss that time, the stress and fear of our abduction aside. It was stable. Peaceful. And don’t get me wrong, I love me some adventure, but I hadn’t had a really stable home life since my parents divorced back in middle school. I didn’t realize how much I needed something like it.

Sorry. Didn’t mean to get sappy there.

I think that’s enough for now. I’ll spare you all the lessons and practice and long nights spent hunched over books and meditations. When next we meet I’ll have a much more exhilarating tale to tell you.

#IC #Session recap #Mage the Awakening #Mage: the Awakening #Onyx Path #NWoD #World of Darkness

[boat-full-of-lotus-pods]

MDZS Chapter 103. “A Hatred for Life” Part 6

But that was all a lifetime ago

Sect Leader Jiang’s words were usually laced with sarcasm. Yet this time, and this time only, he wasn’t mocking anyone but himself.

Suddenly, he said, “I’m sorry.”

Wei WuXian froze, then said, “……You don’t have to say sorry.”

After everything that had happened between them, it was impossible to tell who was the one most at fault.

Wei WuXian continued, “Consider it as my repayment to the Jiang Family.”

Jiang Cheng raised his head and stared at him with swollen, bloodshot eyes. He said in a hoarse voice, “……Repaying my father, my mother, my older sister?”

Wei WuXian massaged his own temples and said, “Forget it. It’s all in the past now. Let’s not mention it anymore.”

It wasn’t a subject that Wei WuXian liked to dwell on or reminisce about too much. He didn’t want to be forced to recall the experience of having his core severed from his body while being fully awake. Neither did he want to be forced to remember how grave and heavy of a sacrifice it was.

Had the truth been revealed in his last life, he probably would have consoled Jiang Cheng a little while laughing, saying, ‘It’s not actually that big of a deal. Look, I’ve been without a golden core for so many years and I still survived and got by fine. I can still beat up who I want to beat up, and still kill who I want to kill.’ Now, however, Wei WuXian had no energy left to casually brush the matter aside with an air of effortless generosity and pretend that everything was alright.

Besides, he wasn’t actually so easy-going to begin with.

How could he easily let go of something like this?

It would be impossible.

The seventeen-to-eighteen-year-old Wei WuXian hadn’t been any less proud or competitive than Jiang Cheng. After all, he had been a prodigy once, gifted with exceptional talent. He could fool around all day, break curfew all night, and still perform way ahead of everyone else, including those who’d practiced and studied in earnest all day long.

But whenever these thoughts plagued him during sleepless nights—that he would never again rise to the top using righteous, conventional practices, and that he would never again stun the world with his swordsmanship—he would instead imagine what would happen if Jiang FengMian had never brought him back to the Lotus Pier. Then, he might never have brushed shoulders with cultivation at all. He might never even know of the existence of this mystical, surreal world, and remained a street rat who only knew to run from dogs. Or he might have become a cattle herder who played flutes all day, stealing vegetables to scrape by. Either way, he wouldn’t have been trained in cultivation, and wouldn’t ever have formed a core to start with. Whenever he thought about it this way, he would feel much better.

Just pretend this to be a repayment, or an atonement. Pretend as if he never had the golden core to start with.

Once he’d said these things to himself enough times, he’d actually start to almost feel as unaffected about it as he was pretending to be. He could then even secretly praise himself a little for his at-least-half-genuine magnanimity.

But that was all a lifetime ago.

Wei WuXian said, “Um, you……. don’t have keep reminding yourself. Even though I know that, with your personality, you’ll always remember it, but, how should I put it……”

Tightening his grip on Lan WangJi’s hand, he said to Jiang Cheng, “I honestly feel that…… it’s already in the past now. It’s just been too long. Let’s not get caught up over it anymore.”

Jiang Cheng viciously wiped away his tears. Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes.

Just then, Nie HuaiSang slowly rose to consciousness underneath Lan XiChen’s outer robe. Wincing and whining, he reluctantly pushed himself up and asked in a dazed voice, “Where am I?”

Who knew that he would be greeted by the sight of Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi sitting on the same cushion, all plastered on each other, with the Yiling Patriarch just shy of sitting on HanGuang-Jun’s lap? Nie HuaiSang let out a terrified shriek and looked ready to faint again. Simultaneously, a series of strange noises came from the back of the temple, like the whistle of gas leaking. Immediately after, the cultivators digging at the back started screaming.

Everyone’s expression changed at once. A light but sharp and stinging smell drifted to the front of the temple. Lan XiChen raised his sleeve to cover his nose and mouth, consternation knitting his brows. Soon, two figures bumped and limped their way to the front.

Su She was supporting Jin GuangYao. Both of them were ashen-faced. Meanwhile, the back of the temple was still howling with screams. Su She asked, “Sect Leader, are you alright?!”

Beads of cold sweat lingered over Jin GuangYao’s forehead. He replied, “I’m fine. Thank you for earlier.”

His left hand lay limp by his side, trembling, seemingly enduring some tremendous pain. His right hand retrieve a small bottle of medicine from his robes, but found it difficult to open it single-handedly. Seeing this, Su She took the bottle, shook out a pill and placed it in Jin GuangYao’s palm. Lowering his head, Jin GuangYao imbibed the pill. After swallowing, his knitted brows finally relaxed.

Lan XiChen asked after a moment of hesitation, “What happened to you?”

Jin GuangYao froze ever so slightly. Colour at last returned to his face. He forced out a smile. “I was careless.”

He sprinkled some medicinal powder over his left arm. From the back of his hand all the way to his elbow was a red patch of skin. Upon closer inspection, the patch of skin almost looked like cooked meat with the entire skin surface fried and destroyed beyond recognition. Tearing off a corner of his snow-white sleeve with trembling fingers, Jin GuangYao said to Su She, “MianShan, tighten this around my wrist.”

Su She asked, “Is it poisoned?”

Jin GuangYao, “The poison gas is still traveling up my system. But it won’t get in the way. I can force it out of my system after some rest.”

Once Su She finished treating his wound, Jin GuangYao turned to check on the back of the temple. Su She hurriedly volunteered, “Sect Leader, let me!”

As the stinging smell gradually dispersed, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi stood up together as well. At the back of the temple was a deep hole with a mound of dirt beside it. A delicately crafted, refined coffin laid with another black box on top of it, both of which were already open. Thin, white trails of smoke wafted out from their openings. The stinging smell in the air must have came from the white smoke, no doubt lethally poisonous. Corpses laid all over the floor around the coffin. The cultivators who had laboured for the excavation were now nothing more than cooked, dead meat. Even their robes of Sparks Admist Snow were reduced to blackened, charcoaled pieces, proof of how deathly corrosive the poison truly was.

Jin GuangYao was the first to reach the coffin, dispersing the residual poison in the air with his spiritually charged sword. With the tip of his sword, he flipped over the black box. The metal box crashed to the ground, empty.

Jin GuangYao finally hit his limit. Staggering to the edge of the wooden coffin, the colour that had only just returned to his ashen face moments ago was gone again without a trace. It was easy to deduct from his expression that the coffin was empty too.

Lan XiChen went over. Stunned by the horrid sight at the back of the temple, he exclaimed, “What exactly have you buried here? How did it become like this??”

One glance at the scene was enough for Nie HuaiSang to drop to his knees and start dry-heaving on the ground. Jin GuangYao’s lips trembled but made no sound. A flash of lightning illuminated his ghastly white face. The expression on Jin GuangYao’s face was so terrifying that the sight of it made Nie HuaiSang shudder, and he didn’t dare to make another noise even as he continued to dry-heave. Covering his mouth, Nie HuaiSang retreated behind Lan XiChen. It was hard to tell whether he was shivering from the cold or from fear. Lan XiChen turned to give him a few soothing words. Meanwhile, Jin GuangYao seemed to have no energy left to even bother maintaining his pleasant and courteous attitude anymore.

Wei WuXian said, “ZeWu-Jun, you are being unfair to Sect Leader Jin. Whatever that was here wasn’t buried by him. And even if he were the one who had originally buried it, it was probably swapped by someone else long ago.”

Su She pointed his sword at him and shouted in a harsh voice, “Wei WuXian! Did you have something to do with this?!”

Wei WuXian replied, “I’m not trying to brag here, but if I really was the one behind this, I’m afraid that your sect leader wouldn’t be losing just an arm. Sect Leader Jin, do you still recall that letter at the Koi Tower, the one given to you by Qin Su?”

Jin GuangYao’s gaze slowly moved towards him.

Wei WuXian said, “The one who had told Qin Su about all those nice things that you did was the handmaiden of Madam Qin, Bi Cao. Did you really believe that Bi Cao had just decided to tell her all that, that she wasn’t pushed by someone behind the scenes? And that Maiden Sisi who you’d imprisoned, who was it that really saved her? Who was the one that had told her and Bi Cao to go to the Yunmeng Jin Sect and unveil your secrets in front of everyone? Someone who could investigate your full background and all your secret doings without fail. Is it so hard to believe that he could also have reached here one step ahead of you, swapped what you wanted to unearth with poison, waiting for it to be delivered to you when you got here?”

Just then, a monk said, “Sect Leader, the earth here show traces of having being moved before. Someone had dug a path here from another end!”

Someone had indeed reached here before they did. Turning, Jin GuangYao slammed a fist against the empty coffin. No one could see his expression. They could only see the slight tremor in his shoulders.

Wei WuXian smiled. “Sect Leader Jin, did it ever occurred to you that tonight, you’re not the hunter, but the prey[1]? And that the one who’s been watching you all this time might be right here, right now, watching your every move from a hidden corner. Maybe, it’s possible, that it’s not even human……”

Outside, thunder roared and rain poured. At the words “not even human”, for a fraction of a moment, something akin to fear flashed over Jin GuangYao’s face.

Su She sneered, “Wei WuXian, stop trying to instill fear with your baseless bullshit……”

Jin GuangYao silenced him with a gesture of his right hand. The flash of fear quickly subsided from his face. Every complicated expression became buried once more as Jin GuangYao regained control of his face and said, “Don’t waste time on pointless banter. Tend to your wounds. Once I dispel the poison, we’ll do a headcount of who’s left and head out immediately.”

Su She asked, “Sect Leader, what about the thing that’s been stolen?”

Lips turning pale, Jin GuangYao muttered, “Since it’s already stolen, it’s unlikely we’ll ever find it. It’s unwise to linger here any longer.”

Su She replied, “Yes sir!”

During the messy brawl with Fairy earlier, Su She had been clawed in numerous places. The robes over his arms and chest were all scratched, especially over the chest region. Claw marks deep enough to reach the bone ran over his chest. Blood was stained in bits and patches all over his white robes. If he didn’t tend to his wounds now, they might get worse in the near future. Jin GuangYao retrieved a parcel of medicine from his robes and handed it over to Su She. Receiving the parcel with both hands and a, “Yes,” Su She really did stop arguing with Wei WuXian. Turning, he untied his robes and started tending to his wounds. Jin GuangYao’s poison-seared left arm still wouldn’t respond, and so he could only meditate on the ground to focus on forcing the poison out of his body. The remaining cultivators patrolled back and forth in the temple, carrying their swords and on guard. All the blades flashing within his sight was making Nie HuaiSang’s gaze rigid with fright. Without any personal guards by his side, he didn’t even dare to breathe loudly. Crouching behind Lan XiChen’s back, he sneezed quite a few times.

Wei WuXian thought to himself, ‘Su She never had a nice attitude towards anyone. Even Lan Zhan has him seething with rage. But he’s actually quite respectful towards Jin GuangYao.’

As he was thinking, he couldn’t help but looks towards Lan WangJi. He hadn’t expected to see the cold glare in Lan WangJi’s eyes.  

Lan WangJi said to Su She, voice chilly, “Turn around.”

Su She was busy tending to the clawed marks over his chest with his head lowered and halfway turned away from them. At Lan WangJi’s sudden words and commanding tone, he actually obliged without thinking.

Now that Su She was facing them, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling’s eyes both widened. The smile immediately disappeared from Wei WuXian’s face as well.

He muttered, astonished, “……So it was you!”

-

Footnotes:

[1]: You’re not the hunter but the prey: The original phrase in Chinese was along the lines of “you are the mantis tonight, not the finch”

#魔道祖师 #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #novel translation #my translation