Hey God. Sorry I don't have a whale for you. Or a fancy code. But do you know where the Book is? And what to do with it when we find it?
Eric the demon
Hello, Eric. Under normal circumstances, I'd tell you to come back when you can make a whale.
But Judgement Day and the Second Coming aren't normal circumstances.
If you're looking for the Book of Life, I believe @the-metatron keeps it in his briefcase.
If you manage to get it from the Metatron without him noticing--and that is a big if--then I'd give it to my Son, @one-coming-is-enough for safekeeping.
Ideally, I'd take it myself. But I need pull myself together before that's possible. Maybe you can help with that too.
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Fig Almond Tea Cake with Coconut Honey Glaze
Filling:
8 oz. dried figs, stems removed, coarsely chopped
2 Tbsp. granulated sugar
¼ cup brandy or water
½ cup water
3 Tbsp. slivered almonds, chopped
½ cup almond paste
Cake:
2 cups (8 oz.) cake flour
½ tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. fine sea salt
⅔ cup canned coconut milk, room temperature
1 tsp. vanilla extract
¼ tsp. almond extract
14 Tbsp. (7 oz.) unsalted butter, softened
1½ cups, plus 2 Tbsp. granulated sugar
4 large eggs, room temperature
Glaze:
3 Tbsp. canned coconut milk
2 Tbsp. honey
1 Tbsp. coconut rum
⅛ tsp. fine sea salt
2 oz. white chocolate, finely chopped
3 Tbsp. cream cheese, room temperature
6-8 fresh mission figs for garnish (optional)
For the filling, roll almond paste into a ½ inch diameter rope, cut rope into ½ -1 inch size pieces.
Bring figs, sugar, brandy, and water to simmer in medium saucepan over medium heat. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until liquid evaporates and figs are very soft, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and cool for 5 minutes. Stir in chopped almonds and almond paste pieces and cool until ready to use.
For the cake, adjust oven rack to lower-middle position. Grease and flour 9×5 loaf pan. Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in bowl. Whisk coconut milk and both extracts in measuring cup.
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat butter and sugar on medium speed until fluffy, about 2 minutes. Beat in eggs, one at a time, until combined. Reduce speed to low and add flour mixture in 3 additions, alternating with 2 additions of coconut milk mixture. Mix on low until smooth, about 30 seconds.
Remove mixing bowl, add fig-almond mixture in chunks of various sizes. Using rubber spatula, fold until mixture is evenly distribute throughout the batter.
Pour batter into prepared pan and smooth top. Place cake in cold oven. Adjust oven temperature to 325℉ and bake, without opening oven door, until cake is golden brown and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, 65- 80 minutes.
Cool cake in pan for 15 minutes, then turn out onto rack, right side up, and cool completely.
For the glaze, bring coconut milk, honey, rum and salt to a simmer over in a small saucepan over medium heat. Turn off heat and whisk in white chocolate until fully combined. Add cream cheese, one tablespoon at a time, whisk until glaze is smooth and creamy. Cool for 20-30 minutes until thickens.
Drizzle glaze over top of cake and let it drip over the sides. Decorate with fresh figs (if use) and serve.
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