Okay, so I was thinking - I am sure everyone remembers the scene from s1 in which sister Mary and sister Theresa (the fact that Nina Sosanya and Maggie Service came back in s2 to tell Crowley to finally talk with Aziraphale is just something else in this context ngk) try communicating by winking and totally miss the mark. The scene that shows how often communication can be flawed and misleading and how it could lead to serious consequences. Especially when the other side doesn't have the full picture or understand our perspective.
Well...
I just cannot get it out of my head how the confession scene, even though words are very much used there, shows the same scheme, like:
When Aziraphale says: "I could appoint you to be an angel" he means: "You are the most deserving of being in Heaven - you falling was a mistake, but I can fix it. I can bring back your smile, make you as happy as you were creating the stars" but Crowley reads it as: "I can finally fix you, because I cannot love a demon. I can bring back the version of you that's easier for me to love"
When Aziraphale says: "Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever" he means: "I am willing to give up this bookshop and everything I love on Earth just to be able to have a happy and safe existence with you. You are the only thing I need" but Crowley reads it as: "Nothing lasts forever - not even us"
When Aziraphale says: "I don't think you understand what I'm offering you" he means: "I can finally make Heaven a place that deserves you" but Crowley reads it as: "I can finally make you deserve Heaven"
It's so devastating to see how they both confess in this scene. They both communicate their love, but they do so differently and end up pushing the other away. Their confession gets lost in translation. The things they try to communicate get all tangled up in the lack of understanding of the other's needs, desires and traumas and end up with totally different meanings attributed to them. How can they care so deeply about each other and still not be able to communicate it properly - I think it hurts even more than the scenario in which one of them rejects the other. There is no rejection there - just misunderstanding and miscommunication, which leads to them falling apart.
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🐦 for the LoZ ask game
🐦 any opinions or headcanons about a certain Zelda race - A lot. We’ll go with Zonai headcanons (TotK spoilers) because I’ve been thinking about this again. points at Dinraal, Farosh, and Naydra those three dragons were once Zonai, all three of which that sacrificed themselves shortly before Rauru and Sonia established Hyrule. Mineru was closely associated with Farosh, which is why her trial to getting to her construct temple is built the way that it is. Mineru herself seems to have no mastery over lighting, so before Farosh was draconified, they probably built the pathway together. The dragon structure around the spring of courage was built in honor of Farosh after they “died.” It’s also the reason Mineru seems to know the most about draconification and warns about its consequences in a way that seems so personal. Also that the three fits dragon-inspired were inspired by the actual clothes those Zonai once wore.
Super speculative with very little basis in canon, but I mean. shrugs it doesn’t seem like we’re getting anymore answers about TotK from Nintendo. So free pass to make shit up. Have a lot of thoughts and elaborations on this, but I might write a fic so I’ll keep them to myself for now.
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Being a millennial trans-masculine person is wild.
Like, I have spent the majority of my life being perceived as a girl or young woman. I have been affected by systematic misogyny. I cut my teeth on it and grew to oppose it. I leaned into everything that brought me joy society told me was “wrong” for me to like - being covered in mud, math, rough housing, being loud, being assertive.
I wore the word “bitch” like it was a crown, because every fucker who hurled it at me was basically saying “I cannot break you and I hate it”.
So imagine my shock when I finally found words and help to make my body into a home (not some place I was forced to reside, to try and decorate the hostile walls best I could) AND now it’s the queer community slinging mud at me for being masculine.
I have been told my medication is “poison” by cis and trans people. I have been told to sit down, shut up and let the unprivileged speak. (You know a whole 3 months on hormones when I was beating my head against the wall because my legal name was still my deadname and I was tired from trying to get the majority of society to use my actual name and pronouns.) I have now been told my struggle with bottom dysphoria sounds like a prank from a trans support space volunteer.
It’s funny to me that now, in trans spaces, my body is the measuring stick. The one you can make jokes about. The one you can compare, insult, belittle, treat like a curiosity. Once again, my pronouns (he/him) don’t always need to be respected. Once again, my emotions are not valid.
Geeeee why does this all feel so familiar????
Fuck that. My gender is rebellion. The way I express it has changed, because the way society perceives me has (thankfully) changed. Masculine people being kind, patient, soft and affectionate is often seen as “less than” and GUESS WHAT I am all those things too.
Part of being kind is calling people on their shit. You cannot do this to people and not expect some of them to break. I openly weep for the cis men I know because at least I had a childhood of being told my emotions were valid before having to deal with this. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been to weather this without that. No wonder so many of you came to me crying one night. You told me people say they care and then turn around and hurt you for having emotions. Honestly, how are so many of you still here???
Like I am having a day trying to cope with this, and I am good at surviving shit. Right now, the kindest thing I can think of doing is giving myself space to process this and figure out how to talk about it without screaming.
I don’t have the privilege of yelling when people hurt me anymore. I might be scary.
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Longass Crop Circles Notes (for Lately, I've Been Thinking and I Don't Think I've Changed Chapter One
Finally delivered to @spicymiilk our king. My apologies that these longass notes are not as detailed as last time. I shall endeavor to get more detailed as I read more of the fic. I will post my rage thoughts on chapter eight of for the nights and days of life by @mochalottie tomorrow though, and that shit will be novel length. Anyways:
Lately, I've Been Thinking:
-Me when Andrei says Spider will have a bad time: but does he ever have a good time for you??
-NORM CONTENT. *airhorn blares*
-I gotta love the tragic Shameless vibes you bring into my Spider fics, man.
-Retweet, Spider, we all hate men. We are all scared of men.
-Rip Paz, the fandom tries to tell me you weren’t a bitch but I don’t buy it. You totally were. Justice for Trudy, who was way cooler.
-Wait, did Spider do drugs too? The needles are around his bed? Or did he steal his moms bed?
-Lol, Paz is in and out, there is SO MUCH Shameless in this story. You can't hide from me, bastard.
-YESS, THE FAST FOOD AU.
-Also, Andrei, what is it about beating the natural joy and zest for life out of Spider that gets u off?
-Neteyam will lOVE fixing this guy tho. Spider is his wet dream at this point.
-I actually know a kid in my grade who was placed with one of my family friends when he was seventeen, he is fantastic. He’s the oldest of like, seven kids and the littlest ones go to the elementary school I work at now. My mom works there too and she always says you can tell when this kid is home because the little ones are showered and on time, and he takes them to get haircuts and stuff. He used to walk 45 minutes to work every day. He’s a great guy but he doesn’t stay. He doesn’t let them drag him down. :/
-Spider, on the brink of death, unloved and abused and neglected, dirty and with one single tangle of hair: hi
Neteyam: that is my soulmate.
I Don't Think I've Changed Chapter One:
-WHATS YOUR DAMAGE THE FIC? That’s the one line I quote more from any other type of media. Every day I go “WHAT IS YOUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA??”
-N E T E Y A M VS SELF ESTEEM. MAN MANAGES TO HATE HIMSELF EVEN IN THE FACE OF SPIDER.
-Also the fear I felt when I saw Miles and Norm are best friends actually, I’m comforting myself like “no no, he meant Spider it’s okay.”
-The hilarity of getting rid of Lo’ak and Kiri who are the canonically closest to Spider and leaving us with Tuk and Neteyam and Jeytiri. That excited me lITERALLY SO MUCH. The fast food au did start with only Tuk and Neteyam, and that’s juicy. We are forced to develop and explore relationships that are underdeveloped in canon and are harder to justify as instant sparks. You took away his natural in canon support systems so he has to learn to develop even faster with the other Sully's and that is a banger idea.
-W H E E L C H A I R J A K E. God I love wheelchair Jake aus, I love making them positive because I don’t like the way the first movie just fixed his disability. Give me Jake Sully being a positive disabled male father figure in his kids lives, just as present and happy and in love with his wife while paralyzed then he would be with mobility. What creative stuff has changed in their lives to accomidate? I need to know.
-Delighted by this Neytiri pov, my god. I feel like less people than I need in my life just let Neytiri have no bad blood at all with Spider in modern aus. She would be all over a neglected child.
-GET THE STICKY TOYS, thats so cute. And useful, I need him to get the magnets some kids got stuck to the ceiling in the gym at my work.
-Tuk is already bullying Neteyam about liking Spider and he isn’t even there yet. I’m lOVING the little bits of the fast food au I spot. She is going to be a menace. And clearly Neteyam is a lovesick clown.
-He is indeed about to get the shit loved out of him, and that is what every Spider Sully writer says before writing their fic.
-WHAT DID THE MCCOSKERS DO SPIDER, NORM SHOULD KNOW, THEN HE WON’T PLACE OTHER KIDS WITH THEM BUDDY.
-Love the descriptions of how Spider feels when Norm’s body relaxes, just noting the way he backs off. So specific and accurate to any abused child. That tension and hypersensitivity to anyone's emotions, even people you implicitly trust, like never goes away.
-Norm thinking someone didn’t let Spider pee in the bathroom is so tragic and funny I feel bad for laughing.
-Spider: heart palpitations upon seeing Neteyam
Spider: NORM YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE WINGMANNING ME?
I am picturing Norm and Tuk in the back of a Burger King setting up an elaborate plan while Neteyam sighs and watches Spider from a booth while writing Neteyam Socorro on all of his notebooks.
-i am cACKLING. You’ve never seen rizz as strong or as intense as “MILES??” and “WHOS THAT? WHAT’S SCHOOL, I DON’T KNWO WHAT THAT IS?” Their dumb clown asses belong together.
-In all seriousness though, I can't imagine how humiliating it would feel to Spider to know some random acquaintance at school was now privy to all your personal problems and business.
-I want to know how often Neteyam frequents the local Burger King. He's probably so embarrassed at how ready he was to big brother this kid. He's gonna be like "looking hot today, uh, I mean, did you need help with your homework champ???"
-This is now like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, Neteyam can call Kiri and Lo’ak on the phone and gossip about boy problems
-JAKE INTRODUCING HIMSELF AS A MILITARY MAN TO EVERY CHILD THAT GETS BROUGHT INTO THEIR HOUSE, NO ONE VETOED THAT SHIT?? Kiri hasn't been like "sTOP TELLING EVERYONE YOU LOVE THE MILITARY, YOU ARE EMBARASSING US."
-Also wow does Norm not know Spider’s dad was former military and he way not vibe with that at all?
-The way that Neteyam is still stalking Spider at McDonalds Or Burger King we can’t be sure. The mention of both places has sent me to space because it makes it seem like Spider used to work at McDonalds and then switched to Burger King and deeply obsessed stalker Neteyam Sully switched establishments to frequent.
-Spider’s fear of Tuk is hilarious and deeply sad, that is your bestie.
-I LOVE love the idea of Kiri and Neteyam watching video essays. I love video essays, I wish my brothers did gOD. Also love a late night owl Neteyam head canon.
-Spider really is a wet rat. Have you ever actually seen a wet rat? The saying is so accurate. Kid was fed properly for the first time in years and then it killed him. Love kills Spider at first, as we have learned from all Spider Sully fics. He's like a dog eating chocolate, it's good, but at what cost.
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Yo, that Leon post was LEGENDARY, dude!!! If I kindly asked you to make the NSFW version of that, would you? 🥺🥺🥺
I can try, however I SUCK at writing smut. Dog-shit at it. We're talking my immortal levels of writing. I'm also very boring and don't have single dominant bone in my body. That being said, editing and refining goes a long way, so I'll try my best.
Starting off, he's a bit inexperienced, which I mentioned previously. He hasn't been in many relationships, much less been intimate, and he doesn't fuck without feelings. Prefers to take things slow and can get overwhelmed easily at first. That being said, he's a quick learner.
In general, I'd say Leon is a soft dom. He's caring and doting, if not a little shaky at first, but he learns quickly. He's kind of an unstoppable force in his regular everyday life, so being dominant comes naturally to him. Could totally be on the submissive side, though, especially if he's tired.
He's normally gentle, but he can also be rough. His touches aren't always feather light and experimental. If asked, or if he's just stressed out and/or pent up, he can be more aggressive. Normally, he lets off steam during a workout, but, hey, if it works it works.
Very attentive lover. He likes to take his time learning the ins and outs of what his partner does and doesn't like. From their big kinks down to which spots make them sigh in content when kissed. Willing to experiment, but has certain lines that he won't cross.
Big on praise. He wants to know he's doing a good job, that he's a good boy, and loves to return the favor. On the other hand, he hates being degraded. He's a bit insecure, honestly, so being insulted just kind of hurts. Kills his mood. If asked, he can try to degrade his partner, but he's not very good at it. He doesn't want to be mean to someone he loves so much, even if they're literally asking for it.
Speaking of things he isn't a fan of: pain. Leon has no real interest in being hurt, nor does he want to hurt anyone else. Boy is strong, so he's sure to be careful, even when he's being rough. At most, he could potentially be convinced to do some light choking, but even that might be a bit too much for him. He can leave marks, sure, but that doesn't mean he needs to inflict actual pain, right? Also, hates having his hair pulled, his scalp is very sensitive.
Okay, last "things I think Leon wouldn't be into", bare with me. He's not into anything remotely public. The rush he feels in public is not that of excitement, but that of pure dread and panic. He has a reputation, if anyone found out, he would die from sheer embarrassment, mainly because his family would find out. He'd never be able to look his mum in the eyes again out of pure shame.
He's much more lenient with nudes, even if leaks can happen. It would still give him a heart attack if anyone found out, but it's far more socially acceptable to be found exchanging steamy pics with your lover than fucking in public. Tends to lean more on the side of thirst trap then full on nudity. Wouldn't make a sex tape.
Doesn't usually jack off. Doesn't usually feel the need to. He has other outlets for stress relief that get the job done better. That being said, he is considerably needier when he's in a proper relationship, but, even then, it's still not often. He'd rather wait to get off with his partner then do it alone, at that point.
We're far enough in the post where I can just be honest. The first thing that I thought of when I read your ask, anon, is that Leon eats an insane amount of pussy. And he'd also suck an insane amount of dick. He's Mr. Bi King, after all. He just really likes giving head and is incredible at it to boot. Receiving isn't his favorite thing, though. It's not that he doesn't like it, of course he likes it, it just makes him feel a bit awkward.
Slight oral fixation.
The other thing that came to mind is that he has a breeding kink. I completely forgot to put it on the main post, but Leon really wants a big family one day. He loves kids, he's great with them, and is all around family oriented. And so, the thought of starting a family gets him off. Like, a lot. It's a little embarrassing for him to admit that, though. It doesn't even matter if he can get his partner pregnant or not, honestly. At the end of the day, it's about the sentiment.
Also, slight pregnancy kink. It just goes hand in hand with the above.
Aftercare king. At the end of the day, Leon is a very sweet and caring person, so it only makes sense to clean his lover up in the afterglow. He's all about gentle touches and massages for bruised marks and tender skin. Whether he runs a bath or settles for a wash cloth is entirely dependent on how tired he is. Cuddling and pillow talk is an absolute must.
In terms of stamina, he's pretty decent, and can usually push two or three rounds if he paces himself properly. He likes to edge himself, though, so he tends to last for awhile.
His dick is thick and so are his fingers. Do with this information as you will.
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