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infinite-orangepeel · 1 year

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(kinda based on the last ask) okay but now i’m thinking about steve inviting eddie to his gym and he only agrees because steve working out while making those little whines and pants?? obviously he’s going, but nope he made a mistake because now he has to pretend to work out (gross) and be publicly flustered by steve…

recently turned this gym partner steddie ficlet into a fully fledged 6.5k ao3 fic. feel free to check out the added filth here <333 mwah and thank you again to anon for the prompt that inspired it !

read pt.2 here !

read pt. 3 here !

your mind !! giving you a round of applause for this one !

okay so steve shows up in the tiniest gym shorts he owns and a white crop top bc he gets really sweaty—which eddie quickly finds he’s extremely turned on by. and ofc steve’s kinda oblivious to the real reason why eddie asked him if they could workout together. so he just takes eddie around the gym and shows him how to use the cardio machines, free weights, bench press etc. not batting an eyelash at the obvious hard-on eddie’s now sporting beneath his own shorts bc he’s too distracted by trying to get a good workout in.

and the thing is, steve’s been a member at this gym for quite some time now and he’s well known around town (ex-jock/popular kid and what have you). so a bunch of his old teammates/acquaintances from high school stop by to chat with him as he leads eddie through their workout.

which only adds fuel to the fire—for a multitude of reasons—bc some of the guys are a little too handsy with steve as they make small talk. they’ll smack his ass, making it jiggle obscenely in those extra-small shorts, or they’ll reach over to teasingly twist one of his perky pink nipples through his fitted t-shirt. it’s all the stereotypical, jock-y, borderline homoerotic locker room, bullshit eddie used to pay witness to after gym class in school. the type of shit he used to roll his eyes at and ignore to the best of his ability.

but now, with steve harrington right in front of him, letting out all these breathy little moans and sighs as he exercises, getting fondled like a piece of meat by whoever can get their hands on him—eddie can’t quite ignore it. he quickly becomes a mixed bag of emotions, as steve reps out more bicep curls and socializes; jealous, confused, and unbearably horny.

bc god does steve look appetizing. he’s dripping sweat, smells deliciously musky, his veins are swollen from the exertion, his tits are all too visible through his dampened shirt, and the outline of his cock is readily on display in those shorts. the head of it almost peeking out from the hem every time he moves too quickly. and his ass looks so plump and round, eddie wants to sink his teeth into it asap.

but worst (best) of all are the sweet cries of effort he’s continually making. it’s a dangerous fucking game for eddie to be next to him right now. he can hardly take it, so he tries to palm himself just a little bit over the pants, as steve pushes his body to finish the set. he’s moaning so high in his throat to get the weight up the rest of the way and eddie knows if he just closed his eyes, he could easily imagine those pretty noises in a very different context. but if he allowed himself to do that, he’d also probably cum on the spot, so he grits his teeth and tries to avoid looking at steve for the time being.

and later on, when they go back to the locker room to get changed and shower off, eddie thinks he’s in the clear. he breathes a sigh of relief and can’t wait to get home so he can jerk off to the thought of steve’s gorgeous little sounds.

but when he goes to enter one of the gym shower stalls and starts to rinse off, he finds himself forcibly pressed up against the tile wall.

“y’know,” steve whispers hotly in his ear, licking the shell of it and nibbling on the lobe, “i’ve heard sex burns a decent amount of calories and since you were doing a lot more staring than lifting today, i’d say that might be a good way for you to make up for it.”

#unhinged and debauched steddie thoughts #hope you enjoy anon #steddie #the steddie brainrot is real #steddie brainrot #steve harrington headcanon #steddie headcanon #steddie au #steddie ficlet #steddie blurb #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #steddie things #eddie munson headcanon #steddie imagine #steddie nation #fruity four

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startanewdream · 10 months

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As the anon who asked you about Mcgonagall earlier, I’m gonna need you to write that version of SWM, please and thank you xxx

In spite of her very vocal defense of him minutes earlier, Professor McGonagall did not seem glad when she answered the door and found Harry there.

"Potter," she greeted curtly, looking down the hall, though it was empty.

"Professor." He bit his lips, suddenly unsure. There had been no hesitation when Harry turned back on his way to the North Tower, but now, looking upon Professor McGonagall's severe face, he wondered if he had made a mistake—he would talk to Sirius after classes—"Is Professor Umbridge still there?"

Her lips twitched for a moment. "No, Dolores has left. We agreed to postpone the remaining meetings for tomorrow."

"Hum. That's nice." He doubted anyone else's Career Advice would be so upsetting, though.

"Shouldn't you be in class now?"

Harry did, but he didn't answer her. Professor McGonagall had been most passionate in his defense, something that felt so warming and comforting this year—so far from Dumbledore's distance—and there was a memory replaying on his mind...

A smile on Professor McGonagall's thin lips. Your father would have been proud.

"I was wondering if I could ask for your advice, Professor."

"Our meeting is concluded, Potter, and in the current climate, it would not be wise—"

"Not career advice, Professor, actually about—about my father."

Professor McGonagall blinked. She glanced up and down the empty hallway once again, and Harry could see her weighting the risk—if Umbridge had lost her marbles when Professor McGonagall had defended Harry's career choices, how would she react upon finding out that Harry had asked about his family—he had a sudden vision of Professor McGonagall being dragged in front of the Minister while Umbridge laughed—

"Sorry, Professor," he said hastily, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have—"

"No," she said, seemingly agreeing with him; and then Professor McGonagall took a step to the side. "Come inside, I will make some tea."

Harry smile grateful, but Professor McGonagall was already walking back to her table. She lit the fireplace, and the moment that the door closed behind Harry, she twisted her wand; a bright cat sprouted to life, passing through the door.

"Just in case," she whispered to herself. When the kettle was inside the fireplace, she sat in front of Harry, hands clasped; this was not very encouraging. "Why do you need advice about your father, Potter?"

"Ah—I saw—I shouldn't—I was wondering how he was."

A tiny frown appeared between her eyes. "Perhaps this is something you should discuss with—" She glanced at the door, though it was still closed, her patronus out of sight, "—others who might have been closer to him."

"I—" He didn't think it was a good idea to discuss his plans for later. "You once told me that my father would have been proud of me because he was an excellent Quidditch player."

Her face relaxed a little. "Yes, he would."

Showing off with that stupid Snitch...

"Would he be proud because of other stuff as well?" He fidgeted with his hands, scratching the back of his hand where he had written so many times, I must not tell lies.

"Ha—Potter." Professor McGonagall seemed at a loss for words for a moment. "If everything you have faced, I am sure that any parent—"

"No, I mean—of course, if they had lived everything would have been different, but..." His lips trembled. "I saw—I saw my parents, and Sirius, Remus, even Wormtail, when they were my age, and—my mother hated him, and my father deserved it, and I don't know—I don't know what to make of this."

Apparently, neither Professor McGonagall. She stared at him, mute and evidently surprise, and when a whistle came from the tea kettle, she jumped instead of bringing it with magic. Professor McGonagall took a long moment to fill their cups, then to bring a pot of biscuits to the table. She grabbed a biscuit for herself before talking again.

"How did you see them?"

"Ah—a memory. I accidentally tumbled during my Occlumency lessons—"

"Severus." She fought a grimace unsuccessfully. "I doubt he would have any good memory to share of James and Lily."

"Were there?" Harry asked in a small voice, unable to stop himself.

Her face was stern now. "I don't know if I am the right person to discuss this with you, but I was their professor and Head of their houses for seven years, we were all members of the Order, so I watched them over the years. On the day I woke up to find You-Know-Who was gone, I cried instead of celebrating because I knew whose lives it had cost." She sipped her tea. "James and Lily were very dear to me. They knowingly gave their lives for you; do not doubt their love."

Harry drank his tea; it burned his throat.

"I don't need to know about the heroes who died, Professor," he whispered.

She looked at the fireplace. "You know James spent most of his time with his friends—even here. He served too many detentions, seldom alone. There was not a rule that he wanted to abide by." There was a tiny smile of appreciation on her lips; Harry couldn't understand. "Lily was not the same, but she served a few detentions as well. She couldn't refrain herself from a fight when she believed she was right." A long sigh. "I made them Head Boy and Head Girl."

"But if—"

"I do not know what memory Professor Snape shared with you, but I know it was not pleasant, not if Severus was involved—I was his professor also, and I saw how deep their mutual dislike was. But Severus was usually alone—your father never was."

"So he was—my father was—"

"Your father was flawed. And it's because of this that I grieved him so much. I saw him growing up. From a happy little boy who knew he belonged in Gryffindor to a teenage boy who thought himself at the top of the world to a young man who denied his privilege to fight for what was right." She twirled her tea. "And I suppose it was around them that he won your mother's heart."

Harry looked down.

"If James and Lily had few good moments, it was only because their time was short. But I can assure you, while they were together—I've never seen them happier. At peace."

The picture of his parents’ wedding day. His father was waving, beaming; his mother was alight with happiness, arm in arm with her husband—

"No more detentions?" Harry asked weakly.

And then, to his surprise, Professor McGonagall chuckled lightly. Harry glanced back at her; she was staring at the fire, with that glint of nostalgia back on her face. "Oh, there were detentions."

"Why—"

Light flooded the room when her patronus returned.

"You must go," Professor McGonagall said, standing up. "I would recommend you to talk more with... your godfather."

Harry paused on his way to the door. "You would?"

"He was James' best friend and usual partner in crime... and he grew up just as fine." She watched him for a moment. "Of course, you should only talk to him when it is safe."

Harry thought about Fred and George's plan for that afternoon—breaking into Umbridge's office... "Of course," he agreed hollowly.

"Good. Go on, Potter."

She gave him a brief smile as Harry closed the door. As he walked away, set to talk to Sirius later—following McGonagall's suggestiona after all—he wondered maybe if he wasn't as bound to get detentions as his parents had been once.

#this is not a missing moment but we can all pretend #Minerva McGonagall #Harry Potter #Jily if you squint #did I write this to go around my writer's block #of course :)#hope you enjoy anon

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im-suchanicegirl · 7 months

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I READ YOUR FIC AND I LOVE IT. =D I’m curious how you think each guy would be in a one night stand situation?

OOOOOOOOOOH ANON I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH

(Both for the compliment and the request. I excel at short blurbs)

Under the cut so only people who want to read can.

Pascal: oh god hes so awkward. But it’s so endearing?? He probably came over after you talked on Tinder and stay in silence for a while watching a movie. It takes him all the movie to ask you how to say ‘can I kiss you?’ In your mother’s tongue and when you tell him, he says it right back. It works perfectly.

Kevin: i mean. IT’S KEVIN. The man oozes sexuality. I think he’d be very open about his intentions when he hits you up at the bar and definitely uses the loud music to his advantage so he can talk directly into your ear. He compliments you and pay for your drinks, and definitely kisses you so passionately you have to grip his tshirt.

Danskimo: While Kevin is exhuberant and loud I think Dan is the confident, silent, mysterious dude. He smirks at you throughout the night and looks you up and down, making you feel very seen. He just nods toward a calmer spot in the place where you are — probably a house party — and talks to you with your back against the wall. He looks back and forth between your eyes and your lips, and definitely smirks when you turn red. The fucker.

David: Listen, if David could be like an animal, he’d probably just do a mating dance, it would be easier. If Kevin tries to win you over the night, David goes for it right away. He pulls up against you in the club and dances with you, his big hands on your hips and waist. He knows what works and when you turn to look at him after a while, he doesn’t hesitate to ask ‘your place or mine?’ Anyways, are you really gonna say no?

DanielK: you’re probably both very awkward and put up to it by both your friends to let loose and have some fun for one night. Once his friends played the wing men and managed to get your friends out of the way, he strikes up a conversation with you and just wins you over with his charm and his cute smile, showing his smile lines around his eyes. And after a few drinks, when he moves your hair back and kiss your neck close to your jaw, you all but melt into his hands.

Nico: You’ve probably seen him around before, whether when he comes into your work or when you cross paths with him at a local store. When he sees you at the bar with friends, he strikes up a conversation and jokingly asks you if you’re following him. He’s taken aback when you reply ‘what if I am?’, instantly liking your bluntness. It doesn’t take several drinks or hours to get you back to his place.

#why do i struggle to write Nico so much #Hope you enjoy anon #compliments and praises are the way to my heart #electric callboy #kevin ratajczak #nico sallach #daniel haniß #daniel klossek #david friedrich #pascal schillo #ask

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viscerax · 9 months

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You asked for requests, soooooo I am going to give you two!

Jam reunion or Jay gets eeby deebied back in time after he died, you choose when

Go crazy!!!

Reunion

Tim stares out the window while his hands absent-mindedly fidget with Jay's old camera. It had been awhile since he needed to use it. Who's counting?

Tim was. It had been 457 days since Jay died. Tim never moved away. He wanted to so badly, but it turns out being a minimum wage stock clerk doesn't exactly provide him with enough funds to move out. So he's stuck in that miserable house, with those miserable memories, and that miserable feeling in his gut.

He was tempted to sell Jay's camera, get some extra cash. But he couldn't. Anytime he opened Craigslist or e-bay, he stared at the web page for a moment before closing it. He couldn't bring himself to do it. The camera was the last proof that any of it happened, its scuffed edges and cracked lens. Without it, he might as well have just been crazy. No one else believed him. He knew damn well telling his therapist would just land him in another facility and numbed up on so many meds that he probably wouldn't even be able to remember his own name. He's been through that, and he wasn't going to do it again.

He sighs, setting the camera down again. He's about to get up when he feels something rub against his leg. He flinched a bit, looking down and finding a furry face staring back up at him, his new cat, affectionately named "Jay". He reached down, scratching her chin and earning a satisfied purr. It wasn't much, it certainly wasn't a replacement for Jay, but it was better than nothing.

He pulls his hand away, earning a needy chirp from the feline. Tim sighs, standing up with a grunt. "I know, i know. You're hungry, I get it." Tim makes his way to his kitchen, reaching up to the top cabinet and grabbing a bag of kibble for the feline.

He's standing on his tiptoes, and curses himself for putting the bag so out of reach. Normally he'd keep it on the floor, but he learned very quickly that wasn't an option with Jay, lest he wishes that she tear the bag open and feast upon it's contents in a single night.

He has the bag just barely pinched in his fingers and dragging it over the edge, when a sudden barrage of knocking at his front door catches him off guard, and the bag comes falling down, spilling open over his head.

"God damnit!" He shouts, allowing the now half-empty bag to fall to the floor. He turns to his cat, eyeing the pile with a look that could only be described as gluttony. "Jay, don't you fucking dare." He mutters to the cat, before picking the bits of cat food from his hair and off the front of his shirt.

"Just a moment!" He shouts to whoever is knocking at the door as he does his best to shake the kibble from the inside of his shirt.

"Tim?"

Tim freezes at the voice. He thinks its got to be another auditory hallucination. After all, there was no way it was him. He saw Jay's dead body. He buried him himself in the woods, mainly because no one else even knew who "Jay" was. His parents said they only had a daughter, not a son named Jay.

Except, it can't be a hallucination, because it catches his cat's attention too.

Tim takes a shaking breath. Maybe he just heard it wrong. Maybe it was just the mail man. Or a neighbor. Or one of those missionaries. Yes, that must be it.

Still, he trudged towards the door, hand shaking as he reaches for the knob. What if it's the Operator, back again. Playing tricks on him?

Tim slowly unlocks the door, slowly turning the door knob. He squeezes his eyes shut, not worrying about how he might look crazy to whoever is on the other side.

"Tim? Timothy?" The voice is there again. Tim can't take it anymore. He opens his eyes. He sees both his best dream and worst nightmare.

Jay Merrick standing at his doorstep.

He wants to speak, move, but he can't. He doesn't know what to do. Jay, Really Jay, is standing there, staring at Tim like he was the walking corpse.

"Tim, oh my god." Jay breaks the silence, and Tim can't stop the choked sob that spills past his lips. He almost falls forward, but catches himself on the doorframe. Jay flinched back a bit, and he can't tell if Tim is still angry or not. Not like he would blame him.

"Tim I didn't- im sorry- I don't know what I was doing and-" Jay starts rambling, tripping over his words and fidgeting with his trembling hands.

Jay almost topples over when suddenly a very heavy weight is crashing against him. But he doesn't fall. Instead, he's enveloped in warm, trembling arms. Tim is hugging him, and Jay is practically stunned.

"I know, Jay. I... I saw the entry. I-" his words are choked off by another sob as squeezes Jay again. "Y-you're here. Y-you can't be. You're not real." Tim is trembling, face buried in Jay's neck. Jay doesn't know what to do, so he just follows Tim's actions, wrapping his own lanky arms around Tim and trying to comfort him.

"I'm... yeah. I'm here. I'm real. I promise." Jay mumbles, a hand tentatively reaching up and petting Tim's hair.

"Jay... I... I buried you, though. I- how are you- I don't get it." Tim rambles as he reluctantly pulls away, partly worried that he'd crush the man if he squeezed him for any longer.

"I don't... I don't know. And for once I don't think I want to find out." Jay lets out an awkward chuckle, and the statement earns a snort from Tim.

"Well thats a first." He takes a step to the side, allowing Jay in. He tries to catch his breath, trying to wipe away his tears but they just keep coming and he can't stop them. This had been the most he cried in... ever. Even during the whole Operator fiasco, he never really shed any tears. He felt emotionally blocked up, and now they were all flowing out of him like a broken dam.

"Tim... I... I missed you- I'm sorry for... coming back and drudging this all up again but I- I couldn't- i didn't know who else to go to and-"

Tim practically slaps a hand over his mouth. "Stop apologizing. I- I want you here, I-" he takes a deep breath, and more tears are spilling again. His voice cracks when he finally speaks again. "For years, I couldn't even shed a tear. And then you showed up. All these emotions that I haven't had a chance to experience or didn't realize I had all came out at once because of you." Tim takes a deep breath, swallowing and hoping it will make speech easier, but it doesn't. His voice still trembles. "I can't stop crying, I'm sorry." He lets out a sarcastic laugh, to which Jay just reaches a hand up and wiped away the tears before cupping Tim's stubbley face in his hands.

Tim had been so numb since Jay's death. He'd been... sad, sure. But he had been doing so good at shoving it all down, focusing on other things and eventually drowning out the world-shattering sadness that was currently flowing out of him like a river. He couldnt stop it now. He couldn't drown it out or focus on anything else because Jay was right there, staring down at him with those big sad eyes, and speaking to him with those cracked lips that Tim sometimes wished would just shut up and kiss him.

"Tim... I... I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd- I don't want you to cry. I'm sorry... shit, I-" his words are interrupted by Tim's lips crashing into his with a kind of ferocity he could only expect from the man.

Tim wasn't thinking straight. So many emotions and chemicals swimming around in his brain is what caused him to do this. He's about to pull away and profusely apologize him for his irrational activity, but Jay is kissing him back and holy shit, Tim doesn't think he could pull away if he wanted to with the way Jay is practically clawing to hold onto him. They're both trying to prove to themselves that this is real, and that this is really happening and that it's not just some dream.

Reluctantly, they pull away, damn the need for air. They stay in silence for a moment before Tim finally breaks it.

"Please... please stay. Just for a while." Tim hates how desperate he sounds but he can't bring himself to change it because he is. He's so desperate for Jay to stay that he can't bring himself to be angry at him in any way.

"I will never leave you behind again, if you'll have me." Its a promise, a promise that means so much to the both of them. Tim is so used to people running once they see all of him. Once they get past his bitchy exterior, once they see the sad man that he is. But Jay's seen it all. He knows so much more about Tim then most. And yet he's staying.

Tim answers him with another kiss, albeit shorter than the last. He pulls away and just holds Jay, hands roaming over his back, to his waist, and up and down his arms, still trying to lock in the fact that Jay us really there.

"Mrowww?" The two men are broken apart as their attention falls to a very needy feline.

Tim sighs and picks the cat up, holding her gently and allowing Jay to pet her.

"What's her name?" Jay looks back to Tim, still scratching behind the ears of the purring feline.

Tim panics. Surely it's not... normal to name your cat after your dead "best friend." But, Tim can't think of any creative lie in the moment, so with a defeated sigh, he mumbles his confession.

"I named her... Jay. After you. It was uhm, a recommendation from my therapist. She was supposed to be a therapy pet, but really she mostly just takes up most of my money and attention." He complains about the cat, although its clear from his tone that he doesn't really mean it. The cat means a lot to him, even if he's too stubborn to admit it.

"That's... cute." Jay chuckles, and Tim would give anything he had to make sure he hears that laugh again, even if it's at the expense of his own embarrassment.

"Yeah, whatever." Tim mutters, which only earns another chuckle from Jay. Tim thinks he's going to die from embarrassment, and very quickly sets the cat down, deciding to change the subject. "I have to uhm, clean up a mess, that she made earlier. Before she eats all of it."

Jay is a bit confused, until he looks over Tim's shoulder and sees cat food spilled all over the floor. He giggles and follows behind Tim, helping him clean it up, despite the others protest.

They're both so tired by the time they're done cleaning. It's not like it was a very difficult task, but Tim's pretty sure he's just worn out from the emotional Rollercoaster. He barely makes it to the bed, and tries to opt for passing out on the couch, but Jay practically drags him away to his bedroom, forcing him to lay down.

Jay is about to turn and take refuge on the couch, but Tim grabs his wrist.

"Don't leave. Please. Just for tonight. We can get you a bed tommorow." Tim groggily requests, and who is Jy to deny him, especially when he's looking up at him with those wide eyes that Jay adores.

Jay kicks off his shoes and crawls in next to Tim, relishing in the way he's practically enveloped in warmth.

"I love you. Welcome home, Jaybird." Tim sleepily mumbles into his neck.

Home. Jay hadn't had a home in so long, and he thinks he wouldn't mind if his home was Tim.

#marble hornets #jam mh #jay merrick #timothy wright #mh #jam #implied trans jay #wooo boy #this one made me tear up while writing it #hope you enjoy anon #this was fun to write actually #but i did cry

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sleepyfluf · 2 years

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Could I request some soft phil techno and tommy?

waddle waddle waddle

#technoblade fanart #philza fanart #tommyinnit fanart #technoblade #philza #tommyinnit #technoblade doodle #philza doodle #digital doodle #digital art #click for better quality #they waddle #hope you enjoy anon

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jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear · 9 months

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An attic for the new 52 scarecrow, if you don't mind!

What is the character afraid of? His father, due to the trauma and experimentation. He still has nightmares and has not overcome those, despite what he might say to the big bad bat.

How do they deal with bad memories? He shuts them away in his mind, usually only the toxin brights it out. He doesn't talk much of his childhood, very little to remember fondly.

What is this character’s role in a horror movie? The killer -- and definitely a SAW type of movie

How do they hide their secrets? He'll take them to the grave, never talking. Not even to Jervis or Edward.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins does the character relate to most? I'm gonna go again with Wrath.

#Jonathan Crane #Scarecrow #new52 #last one down #hope you enjoy anon #<3 #MistressAnswersYourLastWords

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homestuck-iconz · 9 months

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jude harley with the autistic flag? tysm!

JUDE HARLEY WITH THE AUTISM FLAG !!

jude is the autistic character ever just like me fr fr

#mod rose #homestuck icons #hiveswap icons #jude harley #autism #mod rose is actually autistic #hope you enjoy anon

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pomegranatebat · 2 years

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Just having dragon Silco on his knees taking a strap from the back while holding onto his horns and pulling him back against you😳

He has a hard time knowing what to do with his tail

Full here

#hope you enjoy anon #schlap schlap squish #silco #hic sunt dracones #pom asks

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mari-lair · 2 years

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ahhhh wait but quick question, in the terukane phantom thief au, what would teru do if akane got hurt?? because the phantom thief was either targeted by certain people or the cops fired at him and he didn't dodge – it had been bugging me tbh if teru goes ballistic or not😭😭

Good question! Depending on how he got hurt, Teru’s reaction would vary.

If the one that hurt Akane was a new thief in town that got sick of risking their lives to get a treasure Akane was always quicker to steal, the new thief would target Akane on a heist night, and so Teru would notice something isn’t right very quickly: Either cause he heard Akane curse/cry in pain (Akane is always very quiet when he steal, its an actual challenge for Teru to find him) or he spotted the other thief, regardless, when he finds Akane injured, he will go into worrying mode.

Teru will be gentle when touching Akane but speak in his 'police chief' voice “Stop trying to run, I’m not jailing you today. Stay down. Don’t put pressure on your injury!“ making sure to help him walk somewhere more comfortable. Akane will try to not show pain and insist that he’s “fine” that "the bullet didn’t reach anything, that rocky aim is awful." but the realization it could have hit Akane somewhere fatal hangs in the air. The anger is fresh , and outside Akane, he always hated thieves, so Teru won’t want to chat or understand ‘why’ they attacked Akane, he would break their spine on sight, and if that doesn’t kill them, to the coldest prison cell they shall go.

If the one that targeted Akane is a powerful noble that set him up, it would take longer for Teru to find out, cause Akane would be hurt while playing the role of a ‘civilian’, not the phantom thief, and Teru's job doesn’t overlap much with Akane’s everyday job. Teru might find it weird Akane requested a coffee shop date info meeting earlier in the week than usual, but he’ll only understand something is wrong when his thief comes in limping, sounding extremely grumpy “Lucky you, Chief. I can’t steal anything for the week.”, and Teru's anger will be colder, directed at both the one behind Akane’s injury and Akane himself.

“You shouldn’t walk around so carelessly when someone with enough power to target you is on the loose. You’re lucky you’re just injured and not dead, Aoi.” and then he would force Akane to live with him while the threat is around, Akane has no choice on that matter, he will be dragged screaming to his house if needed. They’ll work together and figure out the one behind Akane’s accident relatively, is a whole arc of catching subordinates from the noble behind Akane’s attack (in which Teru will not be gentle when getting info from) not letting him out of his sight.

If a cop hit Akane, it's definitively a recruit, everyone that has worked with Teru for more than 1 week knows you don't actually aim at Akane since he's their boss's lover. The poor recruit will feel very proud and put Teru in a strange position. On one hand, it is very hard to hit Akane, the thief is an expert at what he does, so the recruit is pretty damn good, he will be useful.

If the injury isn't too serious the recruit will get a talk that is kind of awkward (what do you mean his boss and a thief are dating??) and terrifying (he got the memo, he will not waste bullets on Akane again). If it is a serious injury the recruit is getting fired though. In all cases Teru will tease Akane for "getting rusty and losing to a recruit

In all cases, if Akane's injury is borderline deadly, leaving him in a coma for some days, Teru will go ballistic. He’ll prioritize safety above all else, setting trustworthy guards near Akane’s hospital and staying close, but he won't rest until the culprit's head is crushed under his boots.

#terukane #phantom thieves au #i love this ask!#wasn't sure which one to focus on #so everything it was!#hope you enjoy anon

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env0 · 1 year

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A poem about (or featuring) the duality of hope and despair, if you'd like, please.

Within a run-down closed-up mall Slip 'neath the rusted chain There you'll find an escalator, spiraling tall In fortune's privates will you find you remain Onward, ascend, towards heights impossible ever forward against the stream light, alight, past clawing fingers, full and bright, close enough to seem

Progress or defeat, is madness means to end every stride towards such goal just further 'round the bend mechanical in nature, and steaming whirring stole

a life is lost in chasing ignoring all around if up is only looked up, then falling? the footprints fail too, as is allowed

higher higher / lower low, desire's fire will never tire, a promise price is paid in full, some ears fill up with liars

Send me an ask with a word/prompt and I'll write a poem about it. If you want a particular poetic form I can do that too.

#my poetry #env0 writes #poem for you #poetry prompt #prompted poem #duality of hope and despair #midwest gothic #suburban gothic #hope you enjoy anon #was fun to do

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dva-0n-l1ne · 1 year

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Well, can we view Tifa's birthing video? I want to see the look on her face when she gives birth to two perfectly normal baby girls in front of multiple men expecting a disfigured freakshow coming out of her pussy-

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VTQqwutMx1TFxMI3mcCLPthk5zr5FUJsmwx5Wz9g-QY/edit

Tifa gently placed the tape in front of the customer. She looked a bit humiliated that they were going to watch her in her most vulnerable. It had been a bit since the birth of the twins, and she had fully recovered but what was surprising was, she was already sporting a whole new baby bump. Considering she was already showing this early on just meant it was most likely she was carrying a beast of some kind. This time she didn’t have any hope of having a normal baby.

“Thank you so much for your support.” She forced a smile.

#A fantasy pleasure: Tifa #//ahaha bad end Tifa and a four page birth scene just for you~#Hope you enjoy anon

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gassybots · 2 years

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Now I'm curious what all of your btd6 ships are, and maybe how each one would react to being gassy around one another?

OOOH okay I have a few ideas

Quincy/Etienne: This relationship is basically just powerbottom central, Etienne has all the control in the bedroom and Quincy does what he's told. Reg Quincy's got a big gas fetish himself (that he hasn't told him about), so Etienne's casual gaseousness makes him pop a boner nearly every time. It's really only a matter of time before he asks E to sit on his face.

With Wolfpack it's a complete switch, as I've mentioned before, Etienne is little more than a glorified sex toy to him in the bedroom (not in a creepy way, Etienne wants this) If E is gassy around him Wolfy just doesn't care and tends to blast his own gas to show solidarity

Obyn/Churchill: Much of a similar dynamic to Quincienne, but Churchill is like this nearly all the time and with EVERY Obyn. He see's a big, burly hunk of a monkey, with nothing but utmost care for the life around him and you can just call him Old Dog Sanctuary. He just wants to get dicked down again.

Since Churchill is self-conscious about being viewed as weak, he tries everything in his power to try and hide his feelings and gas from everyone, which can lead to disastrous consequences. Only ever REALLY fully relaxes when he's alone, waiting until he can get home so he can release all the gas that was building up during the day.

The first time he ever farted in front of Obyn he felt like he was going to die, but luckily for him. Obyn doesn't give a shit. This man quite literally shits in the woods, so he's very encouraging of Churchill, telling him it's not healthy to keep it all in, and that he shouldn't be embarrassed of perfectly normal bodily functions.

Gwen/Ezili: Ok, so these two ladies are the classic example of a couple that is SUPER into each other's gas. They like to fart around each other, both publicly and privately and have little to no shame about it.

They sometimes like to have friendly contests after meals, Gwen has more powerful farts, but they're airy. Ezili doesn't have as much gas but it brews for longer, leaving her with deep, bubbly farts that tend to sputter out.

They like to switch it up in the bedroom, but mostly just the power dynamics, Gwen usually tops since she's got a dick, but Ezili does also like to peg her every now and again. Gwen is a VERY big fan of the romantic candle trope, but like. We're talking about a lot of candles, enough to cause a fire hazard because. Yanno. Gwen.

#hope you enjoy anon #suede.ask #suede.txt #eproctophilia #farting #btdr34 #btdrule34 #funny monkey game

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cashmoneyyysstuff · 1 month

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Can you do a scenario of Bakugou aftermath of the manga war right now, cause sense he had so much character development I think he have changed majorly big. And was wondering a bakugou x reader, aftermath after battle. I hope your up to date with the manga rn cause it’s super sad :(

But Mabye a scene of reader x bakugou, he wakes up in hospital and sees her waiting next to him in a chair waiting for him to wake up. And when he does he’s glad to see her alive and asking so many questions ☹️ maybe even a lil romantic vibe at the end ??!??😌

That would be so sweet thank you’!!

this is such a cute request ! i've been thinkin of writing a post war fic lately so thank you for the ask ! i tried to honour your request as best i could, hope you'll like it ! <3

BNHA MANGA SPOILERS !!, fem reader, injuries n blood n stuff, reader cries easily sorry im projecting, katsuki n reader have been together for a while (since before the first internship arc !)(..does this technically qualify as childhood friends to…anyways !), worried reader, worried katsu so its a lil angsty but it's pure fluff no worries !, kissing, katsuki is touchy and cannot pass up skin contact, katsuki is a biter cus i say he is so biting, best jeanist is here!! (and maybe kinda ooc cus idk him like that😭🫶🏾), afo is mentioned and called a ballsack lmfao i hate him, everyone is fine and dandy and healthy(?) cus im a major optimist, lemme know if i missed sum else<3!

it's been three weeks since katsuki's been asleep.

you'd woken up a week and a few days after the war had ended. you don't remember much besides fighting for your life, that of your friends and of the people of japan. you were greeted with the worried, relieved and snotty faces of your classmates. denki and kirishima had basically tackle hugged you and were immediately strictly reprimanded by iida and momo. your limbs hurt like hell but you could ignore it and focus on squeezing your friends for now.

except not everyone was here. you immediately realised katsuki was one of them.

you were horrified to find out from your friends, who were sure this would be your reaction and were refraining from telling you, that katsuki had once again suffered major injuries and had been asleep for a good week now.

your classmates had tried to reassure you, "bakugou's always doin' the impossible, he'll probably be awake and he'll go back to cussin' up a storm before we know it." sero said, trying his best to comfort you. you send him a smile that doesn't fully reach your eyes, but you still appreciate him nonetheless.

since that day you'd gone to visit him everyday. sometimes you'd just stare at his pretty lashes fluttering, wondering when he'd wake up. other times you'd talk to him about your day. it was boring, since you were still healing and still stuck in the hospital, but it was something.

your classmates came to visit too. kirishima comes to visit the most but you assume he’s just here to check up on you and make sure you’re okay. he stays for around an hour, sneaks you some actually edible food then always leaves you with a “don’t push yourself too much, okay !”

you go to visit your other classmates, like izuku who had also taken a major beating, but was just as stubborn as your katsuki when it came to durability. you’re amazed to see how quickly he goes back to his old self, anxiously waving his arms around and telling you he’s completely okay, before promptly wincing and yelping out an “ouch !” when he moves his arm the wrong way. you jokingly warn him not to push himself too much too quickly or you’d mess him up even more than he already was every time you leave.

“i’ll try !” he chuckles, giving you a thumbs up.

you’d also met best jeanist recently, who had come to visit your boyfriend one day while you were also there. he told you that katsuki had talked about you once and that, in best jeanist’s words he seemed to be very enamored with you. you couldn’t help the way you shyly looked down at the ground, letting out a flustered chuckle and you thought you heard best jeanist laugh underneath his long, long turtleneck.

you’re currently sitting by katsuki’s bedside for the fourth monday in a row, smiling to yourself as you watch him sleep. you wonder if he’s dreaming about anything. despite the fact you looked it up and people can’t exactly dream while they’re in a coma, but you like to think he’s just asleep and having a very nice dream. the thought makes you happy, but it also makes a knot grow in your throat.

“i do hope you're having nice dreams, but i also hope you wake up soon." you whisper lovingly, brushing some hair out of his face. you run your finger along his nose bridge and cheek, usually he wouldn't be able to take soft touches like this for more than 10 seconds before getting embarrassed and pushing your hands away, trying to distract you from his beet red cheeks. you let out a watery giggle at the memory.

your throat starts feeling a little dry and as much as you don't want to leave katsuki, you figured you wouldn't miss much if you were only gone for a few minutes. you press a quick kiss to his forehead and before you get up to leave the room you look back at him once more time. only to see something strange, his eyelashes flutter more than usual, then his eyebrows furrow,

and then his eyes open.

he blinks groggily once, then twice. he tries to reach up and rub at his eye but the bandage on his arm won't allow him to and he winces. he realizes someone is in his room after a second, slowly looking up as if in slow motion. but then his movements fast forward when he realizes it's you in his room.

his eyes widen and he practically jumps up. hastily sitting up and leaning against the railing of his bed towards you

"yn—fuck !" but he seems to have underestimated how serious his injuries were in the moment. he doubles over and hisses in pain. the noise kickstarts you and immediatly you're in motion. you rush over to him, softly but urgently grabbing his shoulders you softly push him back against his pillows, he groans as you do. "don't sit up so quickly !" you fret "just lay down—"

he grabs your arm with his somewhat okay one tightly as soon as you make contact, "are you—fuck—are you okay ?" he asks breathlessly, his eyes urgently search around on your face and he frowns slightly as he scans over your light scratches. " fuck, i passed out before i could get to check up on you.." his eyebrows furrow even harder, mad at himself for not being able to watch over you.

he lifts his not so injured hand up just slightly and you lower your head so he can place it against your cheek. he rubs over it slowly "yer not hurt, are ya ? i mean—fuck, you are, but—"

"katsu.." you smile, already shushing him.

"nothing broken ?" he starts up again, prodding at every body part he can reach. you giggle lightly. "yer all bandaged up. swear i'll find the bastards who did this shit to you."

"i already dealt with them, so you don't need to worry about that." you chuckle. he copies you, his movements slow down the slightest bit and he chuckes slightly and you've missed that sound so much your heart squeezes.

“yeah, course you did..” he sighs, eyes shining brighter than usual and you suspect he’s tearing up a little when he swiftly looks away from you to wipe at his face, you don’t comment on it cus you could feel tears welling up in your eyes as well.

he tsks at the mostly okay, but still injured, arm against his face before pulling it back glaring at it, “this shit’s a real pain.” he mutters angrily, sucking his teeth.

you spring into action again, like a toy starting up when you wind it “don’t move it so much, you messed it up really badly during the fight !” you both notice how you flinch back when you instinctively go to grab his hand, then reach forward once more and barely grab his hand to guide it towards his lap, and then his body towards the pillows behind him again. katsuki’s eyebrows furrow at your ghost like touch.

he doesn’t say a word as you ramble and simply stares at you. you’d noticed he hadn’t even put up a fight when you’d pushed him back down onto his bed, but you were more worried about his well being rather than his behavior. but now you start to get a little bit worried at his lack of reaction, you place your hand on his chest softly, afraid to hurt him "wait just a sec, i'll go get a nur—"

"no." you let out a surprised sound when he grabs your hand. he stares straight into your eyes, and the bright red shine in them is such a huge contrast to them being closed for so long it almost knocks the wind out of you.

he vehemently shakes his head "i don't need none of that."

"katsuki, you need—"

"no i don't." he says stubbornly, you don't know if you're happy or not that he seems to be just as stubborn as before everything happened. it's a relief, sure, but it's starting to annoy you a bit. you want to fire back but he cuts you off "i don't need a nurse. need you." he mutters into your hand he had brung up to his lips to speak his last sentence against.

it’s only a light press of his lips against your skin but it sends chills down your spine. he does it again, red eyes fixed onto you to bring his point across. you suck in a harsh breath, then sigh in defeat.

"okay.." you sigh. "but we still have to get a nurse later." he grunts into your hand in begrudged agreement, "later." he mutters.

once he's gotten his feel of you, he slowly lifts his head up to look at you. he shuffles around in bed until he's sitting up a little straighter, waving you off when you sit up to help when he winces slightly.

he reaches for you and tugs at your arm lightly, as if he wanted you to sit closer to him. you happily oblige, scooting a little closer until you're leaning infront of him. he grumbles, obviously unhappy about something.

"come over here." he whines petutalanty.

you giggle at his childish demand "katsuki, no. you're very hurt and i don't wanna make you feel worse if i accidently push at something too hard. we can cuddle all you want when you get checked up." you explain. he’s obviously unhappy about that, rolling his eyes accompanied by a huff.

just like he usually would. you feel your eyes burn but your chest feels lighter and lighter the more you realize he’s here. your holding his hand and he’s holding it back, you’re looking at him and he at you.

it’s your katsuki.

“that’s bullshit, m’perfectly fine.” he scoffs.

you give him a once over, raising a brow for good measure “right.” you laugh when he scoffs again, but he can’t hide the smirk growing on his face at the sound.

it’s your katsuki, alright.

it’s quiet while you’re just indulging in each other’s company, the worry in your stomach gnawing at you every day he wouldn’t open his eyes these past few weeks finally washing away as you look at him lovingly when he closes his eyes and sighs against your skin.

“stop starin’.” he complains against your hand he still had in a tight grip, cheeks turning red. it seems like he doesn’t want to let go of it any time soon and doesn’t have any plans to as he bring it up to his mouth to bite you. you struggle and squeezes at his nose with a grin.

“hey, is it so bad to wanna look at my boyfriend that he’d been sleeping every day up until now ?” you make it sound like a joke, but your smile falters slightly and katsuki realizes. his eyes widen slightly.

"how..how long was i out for ?" his voice is still clouded with sleep even now. you plop back down onto your chair, dragged closer to him now “about three weeks.” you mutter, sad smile on your face and eyes downcast.

neither of you say anything for a moment and you’re quickly reminded of the quiet you’d gotten used to when he was still asleep. you don't like it and you want to fill the silence but you don't know what to say. katsuki doesn't respond and keeps looking at your expression, blinking slowly, like he does when he's trying to discern how you feel. he's annoyingly perceptive and you feel yourself get flustered by his gaze.

"now who's the one staring.." you mutter shyly, eyes drifting towards the floor to close him off of your mind with those all seeing eyes of his. you can tell he's seen through you, but it's worth a try anyway.

he reaches and tugs at your chair leg for you to scoot closer somehow. once, then twice harder when you don't make any move to listen to him. he grunts and you worry he'll hurt himself like he always end up doing when he’s not being careful, so you lean your face closer to him. you'd stare at him at all day like this if you could but your eyes won't look in his properly before they're shooting back towards the floor, katsuki huffs a breath of laughter onto your cheek.

"m'not allowed to look at my girlfriend after bein' passed the fuck out for three weeks ?" he smirks his eyes are soft even when he gruffs a mean laugh when he reaches up to pinch your nose back and you grumble at him, softly patting at his hand to shoo him away with a smile you try to hold back. he pokes at your cheek, you go to shoo and scold him but he surprises you by softly placing his hand against your cheek.

“was worried about you, you know.”

your eyes widen and your mouth drops open slightly at his sincerity. your heart warms and you can't stop the tears blurring your vision anymore. you clamp your mouth shut so as not to sob, but your bottom lip wobbles and katsuki huffs again.

"was thinkin 'bout you the whole time. hate that creepy ballsack head,” he grumbles bitterly “kept me from seein' my girl." he smiles when you let out a watery snort. you grab ahold of the hand on your face, running your thumb across the rough skin.

"i heard you really did a number on him."

"course i did. fuckin' decimated the fucker." he boasts and you laugh loudly. "made him cry like a baby. literally." he adds, you raise a brow in question but he simply shakes his again, as if telling you not to worry about it.

you don't question it and simply sigh against his hand happily, it feels nice to feel him again. "the others are gonna be happy to see you up. kiri's been coming to visit you every day. and i've forbidden izuku from getting out of bed, but he asks about you all the time."

katsuki scoffs, thumb slowling down in its movements "damn deku.. he better not think he's hot shit cus he woke up before me." you snort loudly at that, shaking your head at his childish antics.

"good he's not runnin' around. he'd probably end up breaking more of his bones by himself."

"that's what i said !" you giggle, and katsuki snorts. you missed hearing him. you missed him so much, you reach a hand up and wipe at your still wet eyes, katsuki grabs at that hand to wipe at your tears for you.

"was worried about you too, katsu." you sniffle "when i heard you got yourself hurt bad again i just—i got really scared.”

your boyfriend's eyebrows furrow sorrowfully and he wishes his body wasn't so weak so he could wrap you up in his arm and feel you close, never let you go. but his hand against your wet cheek will have to do for now.

but katsuki is a creature of habit, so he speaks "come over here." he whispers.

you lean in a small distance at first, not really sure of what he wanted you to do. katsuki grunts but when you get close enough he reaches for the back of your head and pulls you in, pressing his lips to yours.

and it's everything. soft yet his grip on you is firm, slow yet urgent when you grab the front of his hospital clothes and he huffs against you when he shoves his tongue into your mouth with a soft groan. eyebrows furrowing in focus to handle his breathing because he doesn't want to pull away.

not yet.

you're first to pull away but he doesn't let you go far, immediately swooping in for another kiss, this one just as- if not more urgent-than the first. you softly run your hands through his soft locks and try to memorize the feeling like you hadn't been touching it everyday for the past three weeks. it feels different now.

not yet.

finally, you pull away even after katsuki chases your lips with a pout. you giggle and tug at his hair and he huffs at you, and leans forward to bite at the tip of your nose.

"katsuki !" you squeal flying back to wipe at your nose.

“don’t katsuki me” he chuckles, cheeks dusted pink. from the lack of oxygen just a moment ago or from embarrassment you don’t know, “ ‘ts your own fault, dumbass.”

you scrunch your nose and stick your tongue out at him and he snickers again. you’d missed that sound. you’d missed his laugh, and his stupid nicknames and his voice, the way he says your name and his eyes and his smile.

“i missed you.” you breathe, smiling at him with what you know can only be called heart eyes. katsuki blinks at you, turning red to the tips of his ears. he looks away but reaches for your hand, you give it to him and he presses his lips to the back of your hand.

“missed you too. really did.” he mutters.

this is the most embarrassed you’ve seen him and the sincerest at the same time, you commit the image to memory as your stomach flutters and your heart beats for him. and his for you. you can feel it in the way his hand steadily gets warmer, the way he closes his eyes and breathes you. in the way he kisses each of your fingertips and finishes it off with a bite to each to make you laugh.

you both know a lot of things still need to happen but they can wait for now. for now, his heart is here, beating with yours. your katsuki is awake and back where he’s supposed to be.

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stuffeddeer · 4 months

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imagine mistaking beastzai as your usual dazai (you thought he wanted to be emo for a day) and like did usual silly cute things with him then dazai came home and he’s like HUH WHO IS THIS GUY R U CHEATING ON ME :(( but in the end you have… double boyfriends but one’s moody and one’s fucking annoying

anons that think alike omg telepathy … use ur powers for good!!! two asks in one btw i feel so productive

alsooo beast!dazai would be giddy like a child to be in the main tl w his love… he’d be twirling you around and enjoying what could’ve been before he has to go back!!! all dazais are cringy and in love w u it's true they told me themselves !!!!

“What’s with the outfit?” You spoke bluntly, clearly a little put off by the reappearance of the black coat and red scarf. “Dude, you look like Mori.” Harsh, sure, but your boyfriend worked so hard to walk alongside you in the light, so the last thing you wanted was to see what would’ve been, if not for —

Dazai smiled, seemingly amused. “Ah, love, it’s merely a costume. Thought you’d get a kick out of it,” he replies easily, pulling off the long red scarf: a staple of the Port Mafia’s boss.

His words help to relax you, letting out a small sigh as you push the coat off of his shoulders. “Let me grab you your coat, I know it’s around here somewhere…” You flittered about your shared apartment, pulling a backup brown coat from its spot buried underneath your closet. “This better suits you,” you speak under your breath as Dazai pulls it on. The fit seems a little… different. Is it somehow looser than normal? You frown.

“Thank you, love,” he repeated the same pet name. It felt as though he missed saying it, which doesn’t quite make sense.

You choose not to dwell on it — maybe seeing him in black again just rewired your brain for a moment. He’s alive and well in front of you and nothing else matters. A nod is all the reply Dazai gets before you slip on your shoes.

“I thought you might have headed to work early when I didn’t see you in bed this morning, but I guess that’s my fault for assuming the impossible,” you decide to tease.

Dazai easily slips behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin against your shoulder. “Mm… I love you, you know that? Let’s skip work today. We can spend time together, ‘kay?”

He’d always been unpredictable and spontaneous, so you merely laughed in response. “I don’t have work today, remember? But you still do.”

Shaking his head, he pouts — there’s the Dazai you love. “Nope!~ I refuse to go into work today. I’m spending my whole day with my love!” He practically jumps for joy, hands moving to gently hold your waist. “Let’s bake cookies.”

There isn’t much you can do, watching with an amused grin as Dazai unties your shoes before dragging you to the kitchen.

“It does not take two hours to make cookie dough…” you sigh, trying to jostle the white flour from your hair. “We baked cookies together, like, two weeks ago! How could we already have forgotten everything…”

Dazai grins, planting kiss after kiss on your cheeks, melted butter staining your skin from when he accidentally tried to drink from the cup you’d used to soften it. “Hard to remember much when I’m with you.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” You chuckled, grabbing a towel from the counter to wipe both your face and his lips.

“Yep!~ It’s like.. my love is so pretty I can’t think when I’m around them! Oh, I could just die in… No! I don’t even want to die! I could live in your arms, grow old together and watch you get all frail and saggy,” Dazai speaks dreamily, swooning over the idea of growing old with you. How sweet.

You push him away gently and begin balling up the chocolate chip cookie dough, pressing it onto the silver pan you made Dazai buy when you first started staying over. “Saggy? No, I’ll be young and beautiful forever,” you joke, but Dazai only nods in response.

“It’s true! No one holds a candle to my love. Why, I wish I could spend every day just staring at you.” Dazai’s voice always sounded teasing when he was with you, but even as you put the last of the cookie dough onto the tray (only had enough to fill one, since Dazai kept spilling, throwing or eating the ingredients..) you could feel the genuineness in his words.

Oven preheated, you slid the sheet in to bake (making sure to start the timer) before turning to Dazai. Before you could get a word in, the front door to your shared apartment creaked open. Heart dropping to your stomach, you grabbed the closest thing to you: a whisk your boyfriend had licked clean. Said boyfriend only seemed to sigh, falling into a more somber mood, head hanging before he sent you a sad smile.

“I think the jig is up, love…”

Your name is called from the front door, the voice… suspiciously familiar. “Are you in there? You weren’t answering your phone and I got worried...” Dazai stepped into your apartment, hanging his keys by the door before turning around (an addition you made, since he tended to forget his and jumpscare you by picking the lock every few days).

The three of you stood still, no words spoken and the only sound being that of your metal whisk dropping to the floor. Spinning from one Dazai to the next, you wiped a splotch of flour from your shirt collar. You felt guilty for some reason, like you were at fault for not recognizing an imposter Dazai, and wanted to make yourself look more presentable.

“Awww, love!” The Dazai at the door pouts, throwing his coat on the floor as he quickly heads over to you. “Are you cheating on me?” He continues, slouching over you to impose as much of his weight as he can. You struggle for a moment, his bone crushing hug enveloping more than you expected.

Guilt still apparent as your tummy twisted, you shook your head. “I didn’t— “

The other Dazai, the one wearing a black tie and covered in various cookie ingredients pouted as well. “Maybe she’s cheating on me! I mean, I can’t believe my love moved in with another man…”

God, this was too confusing. You gently pushed Dazai A off of you, stepping back from the two. “I don’t— “

“I can’t believe this… I head to work early one time and now you’re making cookies for someone else!” Dazai A whined, face smooshed against the oven door’s glass in longing. “I’ll never be on time again! In fact, I think I’ll always have to be late.”

Dazai B pulled Dazai A back towards him by his collar, whispering obnoxiously, “I’ll share the cookies if you share the beautiful partner.”

Dazai A nods in approval, eyes closed and arms crossed like it was the easiest decision to make in the world. “I want half the sheet. And, I want a kiss…” He pouts towards you. Ugh, how annoying.

You deadpan towards the two, no longer feeling guilty. These two were just as much Dazai as they could get. Arms spread, you let Dazai A pull you into a hug so you can give him a proper welcome home kiss. “Both of you are obnoxious. Is that all I’m worth? Half a sheet of cookies?”

“Half a sheet of your cookies,” Dazai B grins. “That’s not something either of us would give up lightly.” The other Dazai nods in agreement.

Both of your stupid, annoying, clingy boyfriends tug on your sleeves, forcing you over to the couch so they can both receive your affections while the cookies bake.

the timer goes off after a while but they both whine about not wanting to let u get up. once you threaten letting the cookies burn they're quick to let go. i hate them both.

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