#hope you enjoy gay demon girl content

[bunnnali]

some anime or manga recs? please?

!! sure thing! it kinda depends what you're looking for but here's a few favorites of mine!! I’m gonna assume since my account is practically just talentless nana you’ve already read/watched it, but if you haven’t that’s definitely my biggest recommendation! 

if ur looking for smth sad!! 

princess tutu (anime) - a magical girl story about a duck who becomes a human girl and then a magical girl. she's trying to bring back pieces of her emotionless crushes heart, which seems innocent enough, but the story turns into a desperate attempt to find a happy ending in a world literally created to prevent one. it's really sad and cute and a big favorite of mine, and the end of it had me bawling 😭

land of the lustrous (manga) - a story about a gem-person named phos who lives in a world where their kind is at risk of being shattered and turned into jewelry by another species called the lunarians. it takes a while before the series really takes a dark term, but once it happens it really happens. reading it invoked a sense of dread in me nothing else has ever given me, and I really can't stress enough how good and depressing this manga is 😭 I suggest u watch the anime first and then read the manga! anime leaves off at around chapter 30 i think. this also had me bawling when I caught up to it. on call, with my friend 😭 very embarrassing

madoka magica - this one’s really popular so I think you’ve already heard of it, but it puts a spin on the usual magical girl trope, making it dark and depressing. they’re making a new movie, so if you haven’t watched it, this is a great time to get into it! it’s also very gay. MSJDKDJ it’s really good and sad and the characters are all incredible. there’s lots of hidden symbolism and meaning, and lots of foreshadow, so even rewatching it you’ll always find something new to enjoy <3

toilet bound hanako kun - this one’s also really popular so you’ve probably also already heard of it, but if you haven’t: the show follows a girl named nene yashiro, a hopeless romantic with a crush on a boy. she hears a rumor about a ghost named hanako, who grants wishes, and follows the steps to summon him. some things happen, and she ends up taking a job as his assistant, helping him to defeat magical apparitions in order to keep the school safe. it sounds simple, but it actually gets really, really sad and the story is really good </3 I’m not sure what they could possibly do for an ending on this one that would be 100% happy. it’s good! i really suggest it.

the promised neverland - season one of the anime is incredible, from there I’d say you should swap to the manga bc s2 does an awful job covering it. It’s a story about orphan kids who find out the orphanage they’ve been living at is actually a farm to make smart human kids to feed to monstrous demons. the manga goes downhill a little at the end, but it’s still a pretty nice read and it’s really, really good for a while

magia record - a spin-off anime to Madoka magica, set in an alternate universe. this one’s very sad too, and introduces a lot of new characters, while bringing back the old, iconic ones from the original pmmm. it’s based on a game, and the anime ending differs from the games </333 the ending for the game is actually happy though and the anime is,,sadder but still nicer than pmmm. i think this one is a good one if you like sad content, but still want to see the characters happy in the end. and all the original Madoka magica cast live! so!!! 

school live - I REALLY DONT WANT TO SAY WHAT THIS ONES ABT BC LIKE the twist at the end is so good so it’s better to just go in blind but this anime is really really good and very very sad, but the ending is hopeful!! so!!! the manga is pretty good too, and it’s completed, but I feel like the anime is a lot more enjoyable 

if ur looking for smth a little happier !!

zombieland saga - a story about 7 zombie girls from different eras trying to form an idol group! it’s so well written and so nice to watch, it can be really, really sad or really, really funny 😭 it’s a great anime and all the characters in it are very lovable <3 it also has a canon trans girl! as one of the main zombie girls! so it’s very neat. It’s one of my all time favorite animes and it’s a lot of fun

bocchi the rock! - an anime about an introverted girl with social anxiety who wants to start a band, but doesn’t know how to talk to people. it’s super funny and super sweet, and at least in my case really relatable <3 the show does all kinds of really neat things, switching to stop motion, 3d, live action, etc, and the characters are all great. it’s a really creative show and it handles social anxiety in a much more realistic and relatable way than most other shows like this do. 

spy x family - a very cute and funny manga/anime about a spy named loid who needs to make a fake family in order to complete his new mission of investigating a very prestigious school. he adopts a girl, named Anya, and gains a fake wife named yor. but apparently anya has the ability to read minds, and yor is secretly an assassin. nobody knows each other’s secret identities, except for anya, who knows bc she can read their minds, and they continue to live together for different reasons, as they slowly grow attached to each other and become a real family

brand new animal - a studio trigger anime about an anthropomorphic tanuki girl, called a beastman, named michiru, who used to be human. she moves into a town consisted exclusively with beastman, and tries to discover just what happened to her to become one, and where her best friend who went missing is </3 this one isn’t a slice of life, it’s more of an action show ?? but it’s really good, the animation is lovely and the art and colors are really pretty and cute <3 it’s a really good anime and it’s only 12 episodes, so it’s a quick watch!!

#thanks for the ask 😭 sorry for rambling so much #answered ask #anon

[fkyumerica]

Jan 18, 2024, 10:44 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE-Lbrv63JA it was one family

The Thing 2 1984 (canceled late in production)

giants

those star wars things are it

eyes out

lasers

tounge out too

the pregnant thing in the japanese movie

i sent the video of them in the hospital

and the et thing

it was that hospital in the thing 2

me being an eskimo

them getting that fish

and a giant mouth

open its whole life

the pop cat mouth meme

closed its mouth once

i would talk to it from over where

9,000 feet

it could speak

9 guys raped it

the apostles

to speak

john was his dad 3:03 the monster man

jesus is him, then greg

in the video of monster men

greg always had to hunch over and look

then her about to give birth with what she had to carry to get him

his wifes body

she lived in it

and he raped her

wrong hole

his wife screamed the whole time

thats not me!

didnt care started doing it

he said it

those men were it didnt care

ate ice, the drug

and took it there no its this

ate that much at once

galapados

their trip

of boats

a family

bradys

atlas most

move em out

loch ness monster is her

their mom

had 8 different husbands couldent see

took her frm the back

but knew it

sex

she knew it

then he came out

my dad

if you feel safe with him tehre

the sound will fuck you

dont care and hate him

they gays are it to live

they are mad

they wernt nice to love you

they leave come back and rape again

them being there is rape

the one that kept having all the alien infants were it

gave them abortions

it was what was in the eggs

fetus looks like shrimp in early stage

opens its mouth

forms one first

or

insert all of it and burn it

together

the pyramid fucker is it

make the lines

impregnated 35 at once

land floods

he gets them all

no boats

they left

meant relationship

he takes them

the women

mexican men and black men are this

arabic men are the boats

come out

and swap

they say it

swah P

ahp

13 together ate you

he went to get the rest left alive

of old xenomorph

to get rid of them off the planet

the dad tht said he can get 35

was this

in the snow the giant

i made him say another word not swap, swah ap

and people ran for their lives

the rest of apacolypto to the shore was it

beach

other than that they all died

troops went in there

invasion

of spanish american war

then went to the south west

and ate

more

of them

xenomorph

people did

they dont want you to remember it

stay away from the suhn

dun

woops

sun

they say that

my right eyebrow is growing back not the left yet

i bought the eyebrow syrum

my hair went back to brown already

wtf

i forgot i would section it off in four pieces to dye it

i do not know if it is permanent

Jan 19, 2024, 5:11 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQwqHLd1v8w teach me the mosh pit

THE TEST DREAM LIVE THE BEAT SHOP SAN JOSE 1/12/24

show them

feed me the food

im the only dad

no one has fun

kid at 4

not allowed

woof

shove her in

dead

again

should i walk up to taco bell to get food

holt sit

this was me they said

she didnt wanna do anything in her life she just wanted to go to school

just go to school shit

they said i couldent get a fucking tree this year

this is my christmas tree

chris, leon, mary sue

Jan 19, 2024, 6:15 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zx76uvIDU3s his wife did it to him to kill him in 5 years and he lived

Zoochosis - Official Announcement Trailer

since

29 years after

gender man

barbra bush got him too

Demon Slayer: The Movie | First Look (Teaser Trailer) 2024 - Trailer #1 | Live Action - Shueisha'

i wanna be butterfly girl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVKQNDnlpO0 naruto looks lame

Naruto: The Movie - (2024) Trailer #1 | Live Action - Teaser Trailer | Shueisha Concept

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jO0-4zXsuw this one looks good

DRAGON BALL Z: The Movie (2024) Trailer #1 | Toei Animation - Teaser Trailer | Concept

hope frieza doesnt scare you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fGtQ5YZLHc that might be whats left for the movie

ALIEN 5 (2024) Official Trailer

IT Chapter 3: Welcome to Derry - Teaser Trailer | New HBO Max Horror Movie | StryderHD Concept

that is steve the mystery

went with cheryl ooh emily my little monkey now i know i can fuck her

held her

and fuck her pregnant

cheryl had 17 guys before her age

3 pieces in a nose like the naruto character

takes out a piece each wife

3rd.

they kept hooking all day for it

i can have another nose piece for her

long one

said it three times

before his dad attacked him

agan

to leave and fuck his sons wives

then his gay son came out sarah

that is him in the resident evil thing

mummys family she cheated

with the giant thing

wait 4 years

we will pound you

i will pound a kid into her

only she looked at me nice

#Youtube

[medusa-was-innocent]

I’m still obsessed with this movie

#no I will not stop talking about it #hope you enjoy gay demon girl content #wlw #web weaving #jennifers body #richard siken #parallels #compilations #words #poetry #love #friendship #megan fox #jennifer's body #<3 #sapphic #wlw community #women in horror #women in film #mine #old friends #movies #bi #lesbian

[woolieshubris]

10 Queer as Fuck webtoons worth your time!

In light of the recent "B*yfriends" related controversy, I decided to compile a list of my favorite LGBT centric comics! The main conflict in all of these comics is related to being queer, and it plays a central role in the story!

Short Disclaimer: Some of these comics are not finished, and some I haven't fully caught up with yet! Please do not hold me accountable for the content of the comics.

1) Idiots don't catch colds. (MLM, bi/adhd protag) It's if haikyuu was actually canonically gay. It's my top read comic on webtoon. I've read it over 600 times. I wish I was joking.

2) Plain boy & Prince. (MLM gay protag(s)) A parody of romance comics that actually is a really cute romance comic in and of itself.

3) Kiss it Goodbye. (WLW lesbian protag(s)) A heartwarming comic about two girls coming to terms with their sexualities (it's complete!)

4) Blades of Furry. (MLM furry comic) It's by Deya Muniz. It's an ice skating comic and it's cute! I'm not a furry but I enjoy this comic nonetheless and you will too!

5) High Class Homos. (WLW + MLM) Most similar to boyfriends. Pretty much every sexuality and identity is represented here.

6) To Be Ordinary! (Trans love interest + Neurodiverse/Disabled protag) It's interesting so far, but it does depict transphobes bullying the trans character so content warning for that.

7) Mage & Demon Queen. (WLW main characters) It's written by a lesbian woman, and while it leans more Yuri and it's a bit more raunchy than your average romance comic, it's still really good and I usually end up throwing my phone at least once per episode lol.

8) I want to be a cute anime girl. (Trans Protag) It's about a trans girl who is slowly coming out to her friends and family and learning how to deal with the awkward conversations. (Honestly it's really cute lol)

9) Not So Shoujo Love Story. (WLW bi protag) A lesbian comedy comic that is a parody of Shoujo stories. When I say comedy, I mean comedy. It's mostly comedy with a little bit of romance thrown in. But when the romance is thrown in, it hits so hard. I almost cried reading this comic.

10) Unwritten Death. (Pan protag, Genderfluid love interest) A boy with the power to see spirits finally meets the god of death and must help them in order to save spirits. (Also just because Death is bored and likes to talk.) It's really just started, so I have no idea where it is going to be honest, but it's cute so far.

I hope you enjoy my reccs and I wish you a wonderful time reading!

#webtoon #reccomendations #reading #comics #tapas #taptastic #long post #resources #sorry for putting this on ur feed again but i thought id include links and fix some grammar #please reblog this version too

[just-antithings]

My gripes with "anti-fujoshi/yaoi" people

Disclaimer: I'm a woman of chinese descent living in Sweden, I don't personally identify as a fujoshi but I've been interested in the discourse around yaoi and fuoshi culture for a long time, in general I feel sympathetic to fans of yaoi and BL works.

As a person of chinese descent, I don’t trust any westerners who demonize all BL and yaoi as “fetishizing rape and abuse uwu”. It just feels very offensive to stereotype and generalize an entire medium from asia they seen to know nothing about, or have an extremely limited knowledge of.

Any stories can be problematic no matter who its written by and marketed towards. Porn marketed to gay men can be just as problematic as any yaoi/BL work.

And many people do enjoy "dark" and "edgy" content. That is nothing new or wrong, some stories are meant to titillate and disgust the audience at the same time, no one gives anyone crap for watching "Game of thrones" or SAW movies.

Yaoi and BL works are not inherently more "problematic" than someone's slice-of-life coffeeshop AU on ao3. Some are beautifully drawn and amazingly written, such as the BL manwha "Painter of the night".

And yes, some asians are also anti-fujoshi/yaoi/BL, but I also disagree strongly with them too.

The claims that most or all fujoshi are cishet girls has been proven wrong time and time again, so I wont even get into it.

To me, many opinions expressed by anti-fujoshi feel sexist as hell, yet many have the gall to claim fujin are the "misogynist" ones. For example, I've seen those claim that they are "superior" to those "nasty fujoshi" because they ship MLM and WLW based on "brain wiring" and "personal connection" rather than "personal sexual fulfillment" (im paraphrasing what I saw someone say), as if feeling sexual desire makes you a bad person and female sexuality is tainted and evil.

Anti-fujoshis speak a lot about how toxic and homophobic they perceive the fujoshi community to be and for that I cant comment since I havent participated in any way, but most seem to focus on what kind of fiction being created and consumed as evidence of "toxic behavior". To me, no death threats or harassment over what fiction you consume is acceptable, no stranger has a right to demand you only read "pure" works yet I've seen many anti-fujoshi bloggers do just that, which is worrying.

These are my thoughts, I hope I've made my thoughts.

#submission

[ilia-amitola-minibang]

Meet the Mods!

Hi, mod Tech (she/her/they/them) here! If you’ve ever searched through the “Ilia Amitola” tag on tumblr before, you may have come across my blog (@technicallyblakebelladonna) as one of the “top Ilia Amitola” blogs that doesn’t have “Ilia Amitola” anywhere in my url or in my blog title. It’s true, I post about her that much, and I’m quite proud of that! But other than screaming about Ilia, crying about Ilia and being summoned into a conversation in discord just by mentioning Ilia, I also write about Ilia! And bees. And a good combination of both (I’m a multishipper, what can I say). I really enjoy meeting new people (and will bond with you instantly if you just indulge my love for Ilia) so please don’t ever hesitate to send me a DM here or on discord once the server is up!

Also, it’s my first time moderating even a small event like this minibang, so please be patient with me as I figure out how to wrangle together a bunch of excited Ilia stans (especially when I’m one right there with y’all!) and together I hope we can have a good time with lots of Ilia content as a result! <3

--

Hello! Mod Quinn here (he/him and nounself)! I will admit Ilia isn’t one of my faves (sorry Tech), that honor goes to Ruby and Yang, but I do love her a whole lot! I’m @trans-demon-king and @emo-space-gay on here if you want to check out my other names/specific nounself btw. I am mostly an angst writer so fear for your girls life /hj. Though I’ll probably end up writing fluff lol. But anyways hi!!

Like Tech this is my first event I’m modding, though that’s only currently, because right before this one starts I’ll be wrapping up @frosen-steel-minibang!

#meet the mods #mod tech #mod quinn #ilia minibang

[quaintqueer]

I don't know what you think about labels, maybe you are the kind of person who watches shows like Marie Kondo where they organise people's houses and put sticky labels on everything so that you can easily identify the contents. Maybe you're the kind of person who does not like to be labelled or stereotyped. Maybe you prefer to be just yourself.

I have had a very complex relationship with labels and identity. You could say that I started off on the wrong foot. My mother went to a Baptist church on Sunday morning and a Charismatic/Pentecostal hands-in-the-air, shouting and screaming, spiritual warfare kind of church on Sunday night. And my dad had his Holy Communion as a kid and then went to mass on Easter and Christmas.  So to begin with my labels were numerous and incongruent which did cause some issues for younger Zoe.

And I want to share with you about where God has led me through the understanding of this topic. I am not entirely sure where to start and I'm not sure how vague to be here but let's just say that at least the draft will be an explicit and partly chronological one.

12 year old Zoe I went to church most Sundays with her family and she was very very lucky to have a wonderful Christian friends in her life and at this point the label attached to her as a daughter was the unproblematic child and at school she was the sweet and friendly member of the God Squad or Singing Christians depending on how you asked. But those were the kind of labels that existed around that time.

What happens though to 12 year old Zoe is that she falls madly and instantaneously in love with her best friend. And almost immediately she thinks ‘am I in love with this girl? that must make me gay.’ And being a part of the circles that I was in a fairly conservative Christian family and a fairly conservative Christian School with Christian friends in that Christian school, I said ‘absolutely not. I don't want to have to deal with that.’ I was never hateful towards gay people in general I just thought I just didn't want to deal with it myself. My mum and I had had conversations about it when the plebiscite happened, and whenever we spoke about it, it was very much about ‘the gay people’ as opposed to anyone we knew or loved, let alone a Christian person, and so this whole gay thing wasn’t really thought about. Ao a few times over the next 2 or 3 years so I would ask, ‘am I in love with this girl’ And I always concluded ‘no no no you can't be in love cos you're not gay’.

By the time I’m about 14, I’ve been awoken to all different kinds of social justice movements, I took sociology, I’m going to save the world. THe labels I proudly wear are things like left wing, passionate, an ally to many different communities, in particular the lgbtq+ community.

Zoe at one point goes ‘frick frack, I'm definitely in love with this girl’. and because of the way that this world really loves labels, this was completely synonymous in my mind with being gay. My first response was probably because I'm bisexual so now that is an importand confusing label Zoë is wearing. I have somewhat fond somewhat mortifying memories of sitting on the Shinkansen, the bullet train, from Tokyo to Kyoto next to my dad doing every single ‘Am I gay’ quiz I could find online. Throughout this trip to Japan, I’m really testing the waters and every single younger woman I saw I was like ‘Is she cute? Am I attracted to her? Would I kiss her?’ and so that experience made me very nervous because I had still grown up with the mindset that if people were gay it was ok but they weren't Christian. And I was a Christian, so I just ignored it really. And this turned into a time of me hypersexualising sll of the boys that I had ever thought I had a crush on. I can quite confidently say that I didn't actually have a crush on many of them, I just thought that that was something that I should do. So there was a lot of ignoring this feeling.

We then reach year 10, 2020, a glorious year. In the first Lockdown, I finally caved and downloaded Tik Tok. The thing about Tik Tok is that it comes with its own world of labels, and I really would enjoy the kinds of conversations about what side of Tik Tok you are on. I loved that your For You Page automatically gave you certain labels to wear as a Tik Tok user, and I loved that those applied to real life. I quite quickly ended up on gay Tik Tok, among other things. I was also very firmly on Black Lives Matter Tik Tok, on disablrf Tik Tok, on Indigenous Tik Tok, so on and so forth. But much of my content was about the lgbtq community and this opened a ahole can of worms. I, at this time, carried a lot of shame for my attraction to women. For a bit of a backstory, I had been so severely heartbroken by this girl - not by her own intentional actions, I think that she was never going to feel about me the way that I felt about her and that was not her fault - but I was so seriously heartbroken that not only did I hold this moral shame but also this like emotional shame of my attraction to women. I felt like it was not a good thing morally and it didn't feel good emotionally because I had to still been really hurt about this girl and I have never really gotten over that. So for the first time on gay Tik Tok, I saw queerness and same-sex attraction as a positive thing not only in terms of ‘hey look these are women loving woman relationships that are working well’ but also ‘whether or not you're dating someone, queer identity is good for you and it's fun to talk about’. And as a type 4 on the enneagram, I love to feel special - not to say that I fabricated these feelings or that any queer person is queer for attention - but I think a big part of me felt validated or special because of my feelings and my queeness. It was like a new club that I could join. And so the labels that 15 year old Zoe wears largely consisted of queer. We had it dropped bisexual a little bit because at this point I was not sure if I like men at all and so we identified as queer or sapphic or bi or lesbian or gay - many of these words along with the left wing, Pro Black-lives-matter, pro-feminism, pro-lgbtq+, anti-colonialist anti-capitalist etc. etc. And I don't want to demonize any of those things - they are not at all negative things, I'm just painting a picture of the different labels that I wore.

Through out starting to come out to my friends and existing for longer periods of time not only on gay Tik Tok but now really searching all through the Internet for more LGBTQ+ identity - as I tried to confirm my traction for women, as I tried to decide about my attraction to men, about what label I should wear, and what it's like being in the LGBTQ+ community different, spaces where we interact, different identities and labels and experiences of queerness. So I really tied myself to this identity and it is I think so much because of the way the world sees labels as I said and so my first response was ‘well if I like girls I must be gay and if I'm gay I must identify that way and that has to be the most important thing about me’ because all the people I was seeing online really loved being gay. They were proud of their identity in their queeness. In the world as much as I think that we like to think we’ve got this ‘your sexuality or your gender identity doesn't matter. Gay and straight and bi and pan and whoever you are, we’re all human’, I think it often the world does like to draw those lines on both sides. Within queer communities there was - obviously ironically and satirically - this heterophobia honestly. (I'm joking!) But there was a real pride in this identity of whichever specific label you wear as well as the wider lgbtq plus label which led me to believe my sexuality was who I was. And that proved really quite awkward because I knew that my church and my family and many of my Christian friends believed that same sex marriage and romance was sinful. Because of the strong connection between my identity and my sexuality, if my sexuality was sinful, that meant that I was inherently and completely sinful and I didn't like that. It wasn't a fun feeling. After all of the years of learning about God’s gift of grace to us, kind of I lost in the crevices of my mind and whenever I thought about God I was met with feelings of shame and fear and dread and resentment sometimes even anger and I grew to be so despairing.

Eventually I tried the various progressive Christianity movements that teach that ‘God doesn't actually say the being gay is a sin, the Bible is pro queerness and don't even worry about it, God made you exactly the way that you are and he loves you the way that you are, go forth and have that lesbian relationship that you so desperately want’. But that never really sat right with me. It brought up other questions of ‘well if the current translation of the Bible says things like marriage is between a man and a woman, God made man and woman, any sex outside of marriage is sinful, or even the parts that say that ‘homosexuality is sinful, or man lying with man in certain translations, is sinful what happened to that part of the Bible?’ And of course I heard the response about how at the Bible was written by man and not by God and that it is fragile and can be manipulated and basically King James ruined the whole Bible when he wrote that translation and you don't have to listen to it. But that really didn't work for me. If that part of the Bible had been mistranslated how could I know that the rest of the Bible hadn't been mistranslated? If words like homosexuality weren't in the original text and they had been added there or mistranslated how could I understand the words like grace and love and hope and patience and kindness and peace and righteousness and holiness and justice? What if they were mistranslated? What if the whole Gospel was not how it was written in the Bible because the Bible was man-made? Pretty immediatelyI decided I couldn’t really understand a Christianity where homosexuality is not a sin because Christianity is written in the Bible and the Bible says that quite clearly. I believe that the Bible is directly the Word of God, that it is perfect, that the way that it is translated - obviously different translations vary - but that it is right from God’s mouth so imediately was like I can't believe in it Christianity where homosexuality is not a sin and so I've got to pick Christian or Gay.

And I didn’t want to choose Christian because I had this point has grown quite fond of being gay and I mean, I was truly just attracted to women, right, like I wanted a girlfriend and so I tried really hard to ignore God. I was still going to church, twice or three times a week and all that, and I could not shake the existence of God. I knew God existed. I knew that He created the world, that He was good and that they was the thing called sin that separated us from him. I knew that sin led to death. I knew that He had sent His Son to bridge the gap between himself and sinners. I knew that Son was Jesus and that He died on the cross and he rose again and I knew that if you believed in him you would spend eternity with God which was a really good thing. I could not shake those feelings, all those beliefs, and I absolutely praise God for that. I'm so beyond grateful that God did not leave me, even when I hated him and resented him and felt so much anger towards him. Praise Jesus!

All this left me thinking, well some people could go to heaven, but God hates me because of my feelings. He does not want me part of His kingdom if I'm gay. I can't ever go to heaven because I'm a sinner, and sinners don’t go to heaven. I truly don't know where all my years of learning about the grace of God had gone. This led me to a really distressed position, probably one of the lowest ever my mental health had been. I was just not coping and I ended up being kind of forced to tell my mum. I don't really want to say too much on this part of the story but by the middle-ish end of year 10 I ended up coming out to my mum and she told my dad, ‘cause I refused to do it myself, and then I got a therapist. Finally, now that my mum knew, I could ask her what I had so desperately wante to ask her - if she could please buy me some books about being gay and Christian. And so she did. And I slowly but surely started to read them, I started to read my Bible more and I started to really search for what it meant to have faith trust in God’s grace and not in your own work, not in your own actions or thoughts or words. The first book I got in particular was really hard to read it was based more on specific Theology and not on personal experience and I needed that foundation in what God really said because I had just had conversations with my mum and she had reminded me ‘God is real and he loves you and he sent his son to die for you and that is an option for you as much as it is for anyone else, your queerness does not separate you from Christ's death and resurrection’. There is a wonderful bible verse that became very important to me at this time. Romans 8, the very end of the chapter, says ‘for I'm convinced that neither death not life neither Angels not Demons need of a present or the future and or any Powers neither height nor depth nor anything else in All Creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our lord.’ So with this in mind, I decided that I could trust God and now I just needed to learn how. so I worked away through different books, through different parts of the Bible, praying really hard, searching online and asking really hard questions to some really awesome Christian women in my life, and asking God to reveal to me exactly what he thought about me and about queerness and so eventually we get to the present moment. I by no means know everything that I wish I knew, but now I can say that I wholly trust God with my next life - I trust that he has the power and the strength and the holiness to overcome even my sin which sometimes feels like the biggest there is. and I trust him with this life - that life with him is so much better than any lesbian affair I could ever experience.

I want to personally apologize to any one who the church or the world has ever made believe that they are somehow exempt from God’s love because of who they are or what they've done or how they’ve felt. That is false. There is no one that does not sin, no one that is not inherently separated from God. And there is no one who is too far from Jesus' power to be saved from that sin. God is bigger than your sin, I promise you.

I want to take this time to mourn for the lives lost and the joy and peace forfeited because of the way people who claim to know God treat queer people. I'm sorry if you have been made to feel less than because of the church. In the process of overcoming of guilt and shame that I have felt over the year, one more verse that I found really important. 1 John 1 says that ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.’

So for me, I don't identify with my sexuality. I don't want to say that I'm straight now, that's not really true. but my sexuality is not what makes me who I am. I am a person fearfully and wonderfully made by God and I am a daughter of God in Christ. I am not ashamed of my feelings. I do think that it is worth mentioning that an attraction or a desire or an impulse is not the same as a sin. The Bible tells us that Jesus himself was tempted in every way and the Bible also tells us that Jesus is blameless and never sinned. And so I think it's worth the clarification that same-sex attraction or anything like that is not sinful itself and also that being gay is never worse than anyone else's sin, and it is never ever bigger than God.

I just want you all to know that there is nothing that you have done that makes you exempt from God’s love for you, to know that he is trustworthy, that the Bible is trustworthy, and I encourage you that your value is inherent as a person made in God’s image and that with Jesus, you can have identity in his son alone. When he sees you, he sees the goodness and perfection of Jesus if you believe in him.

[mejomonster]

Love my hobby of looking for theoretical optimistically gay content when I randomly watch dramas

Love the happy surprise of sometimes there actually being some gay subtext

Shout out to Eternal Love for, while not being my thing, definitely happening to have Actually Bi demon prince and princess, and a gay brother with his Phoenix bf, since I went into that show expecting nothing. Love and Destiny thanks for a canon trans woman I did not expect going into it.

Ashes of Love I hated ur writing but the momentary flash before u got sexist and homophobic I appreciated main girl caring 0 for gender and being a romantic and a girl trying to marry her. (And yes if I had to recommend that xianxia love genre I’d rec Love and Destiny, then Eternal Love if I.. had to, and Ashes of Love if you love the actors and are willing to... deal with that writing for them...)

And of course Love and Redemption and Bureau of Transformer that literally gave me gender rep and bisexual rep with full on scenes and explicit confessions and like?? Blowing me out of the water when I expected nothing whatsoever. (SUPER recommend both these they were so good... so good ;-; so well written..)

Now when will I accidentally find GL? Mmmmm??

Oh how could I forget! LORD Critical World is like a crackfic in show form but that baby has bl, gl, bdsm princesses, just a LOT it’s um it’s Something but I’ll give it that it’s a pretty open minded universe -3-

These were all ToT cases lol of me going in expecting the Straightest Stories Ever and being surprised my optimistic interpretations (cause I will assume it’s gay if I can just live my life enjoying the possibility ok uvu) turn out to actually be a Sort Of (to full on) thing.

Now Goodbye My Princess? That was one show I went into that did not happen to have gay subtext I could optimistically hope for much, BUT in its own right it was a real good story to be fair (as of ep 30 where I’m at anyway).

Go Princess Go... Oh My General.. both just um inherently pretty bi...

#rant #why yes I am enjoying being unrealistically optimistic in interpreting #but also some stuff turns out genuinely queer and I love when that happens #like oh.... I never expected THE LOST TOMB pingxie to be a thing #let alone as Much Like a regular cdrama bl as they. actually tend to be lol ToT

[dokidokivisual]

Gochiusa BLOOM episode 2 impressions

The second episode of Gochuumon wa Usagi desu ka? BLOOM is now out, so let’s have a deeper look at some of the content presented in it.

In this episode: learn more about Japanese ghost tropes than you ever wanted to know, and the answer to the perennial question of nature vs nurture.

As usual, I spent a lot of time writing this, so any feedback is welcome.

The episode opens with a scene from Phantom Thief Lapin, an animated TV series for children which exists within Is the order a rabbit? universe (the technical term is “play within a play”, or 劇中劇 in Japanese). I’ve seen some people being confused whether it’s live-action or animated, since it’s not outright stated in the show, but in the manga it is referred to as “anime”. The show is inspired by existing properties featuring mysterious thief protagonist like Magic Kaito and Lupin III.

In the establishing shots of the museum we see bunnified versions of sculptures and artworks like The Thinker, Discobolus, Venus de Milo and Mona Lisa.

Soon, the titular Phantom Thief Lapin appears, and if you listen to the background music, you might recognize it as an instrumental version of the song which was originally released as part of Comiket-exclusive Phantom Thief Lapin set (here’s an old post with some photos of it).

As we see Cocoa and Chino reacting to the episode, the show’s credits can be seen in the background. Unsurprisingly it appears to have the same staff as Gochiusa itself. I was wondering if Aoyama Blue Mountain shows up in the credits as the original author, but she does not, however this fact is mentioned later.

After this “cold open”, we move on to the A part, which is based on chapter 2 of volume 5. We see Chiya trying to convince Sharo to participate in various scary activities with her, with Sharo having none of it. While horror movies are self-explanatory, the other two things are rather Japan-specific.

Hyakumonogatari (百物語) - a ghost story game, where 100 lanterns are lit up, and as each new story is told, a lantern is extinguished. It is said that a real ghost will appear if 100 stories are told, so the participants customarily stop at 99.

Kimodameshi (肝試し) - a test of courage where a scary location is explored. Literally translated as “trial of liver”, liver being associated with bravery for some reason.

You might also notice Chiya being dressed up as a ghost. Japanese ghosts have some specific concepts associated with them, which are well illustrated in this scene.

Shinishozoku (死装束) - a white sheet that a corpse is wrapped in before being buried.

Sankakuzukin (三角頭巾) - “triangle head cloth”, part of the burial costume. Also called 天冠 (tenkan, “heaven crown”). Triangle pointing upwards symbolizes ascent to heaven.

Urameshiya (うらめしや) - a phrase often said by a ghost. Indicates grudge (urami) towards the living. While a ghost holds this grudge, it cannot ascend, and must stalk this world.

Onibi (鬼火) - “demon fire”, a phenomenon (similar to will-o’-the-wisp) of floating blue lights, which are said to represent the souls of the dead. It is never explained how the flames behind Chiya are actually produced.

Soon Maya and Megu are introduced, as “Team Beans”. The name comes from the fact that “mame” means “bean” in Japanese. This nickname was previously used in the name of the group “Petit Rabbit’s with beans”. We also see Cocoa planning something, which is kind of a spoiler for the rest of the story.

Some facts are revealed about Maya and Megu, namely that they’re childhood friends, and the fact that Megu is almost as tall as a giraffe. The official height for Maya and Megu was stated to be 140 and 145 cm respectively, but they seem to be slightly taller here, which might be explained by them growing up?

Rize tries to hit Chiya with water gun but misses every time. This is a reference to season 1 episode 4 where Chiya was able to dodge any ball thrown at her. This supernatural ability is never explained.

Sharo explains to Chiya how she’s grown since the old days and will be the one pulling Chiya forward now. This is related to how Chiya called Sharo a coward in the beginning, which she apparently took to heart. Funnily enough, Sharo still gets scared by a bunch of toy rabbits (and Tippy).

Anyway, it’s revealed that Cocoa was the mastermind behind it all.

And she did is specifically to bring Chiya and Sharo together, which was a great success apparently. “Suspension bridge effect”, anyone?

After this there’s an anime-original bath scene with Cocoa joining Sharo and Chiya in Ama Usa An. Interestingly Cocoa and Sharo used this bath before, in episode 10 of season 1, but not Chiya. Both scenes also touch on Sharo and Chiya’s past, with Cocoa acting as an outside observer. This type of wooden bath called hinokiburo (檜風呂) is considered quite luxurious and can be encountered in upscale ryokans.

We move onto B part, which is an adaptation of chapter 6 of volume 5. Cocoa is good at imitating Phantom Thief Lapin, and we learn that Aoyama Blue Mountain is really the original author of Lapin, which might explain why Lapin looks so much like Sharo. Interestingly in the manga it is mentioned how Sharo actually morally opposed to theft (both in this chapter, and the chapter the first half of the episode is based on), but it was cut in anime.

notsureifintentional.jpg but both parts begin with somebody peeking through the window.

Sharo is apparently really bad at impersonating Lapin, to the point where Inspector is a more popular character among children. However in Sharo’s defense there are plenty of works where the main character is not the most popular character... including Gochiusa itself.

Meanwhile, Cocoa appears to be a natural at this role, and eventually gives a piece of advice to Sharo: it’s not enough to wear Lapin’s costume, you have to become Lapin. Sharo doesn’t own a TV, so she didn’t see much of the show. There’s also another element at play here, namely Sharo always having to pretend to be someone she isn’t in order to fit in at school, and then having to fake smile for customers at her cafe. There’s a running theme of Cocoa not taking Sharo’s words for granted in this episode, which might be related to that. The idea is that children, and very pure-hearted Cocoa, have natural mistrust of Sharo.

The girls gather together to watch the show, and we see a bit more of the Phantom Thief Lapin show (as well as an unnamed “hardcore” show about a gun-toting samurai). It is revealed that the inspector has tragic backstory, which moves Sharo and Rize to tears. Also if you weren’t sure up to now, Sharo’s vow to protect her wife and children confirms that she’s definitely very gay.

In the end Sharo figures out how to do Lapin’s poses exactly like in the show, and thanks Cocoa by giving her Lapin’s mask. Which reminds me, why is it called a mask if it barely conceals anything about the person? Is this some sort of Superman/Clark Kent situation?

Next this episode features, for the first time this season, the ending sequence. It has a bunch of Alice in Wonderland references such as Tippy being the White Rabbit, and Chimame’s outfits. It metaphorically retells the backstory of Chimame (seen in season 2 episode 12) and how Megu and Maya brought Chino out of her shell. At the end the latte art seems like it will be different every episode.

After the ED, we see Sharo showing off her new skills at Fleur du Lapin. Aoyama and her editor Rin can be seen in the background. By the way, what are the chances she named Phantom Thief Lapin after Fleur du Lapin, she seems like a regular there. Anyway, Cocoa comes up seemingly to support Sharo, but ends up stealing the show, guess you can practice all you want, but natural talent wins out at the end of the day.

So that was the second episode, hope you enjoyed the review. Next up it seems we have Maya and Megu going to an open doors’ day at Rize’s school? Let’s see if I can write faster next time...

#gochiusa #gochuumon wa usagi desu ka? #is the order a rabbit? #review

[drake-the-incubus]

What’s Bad for You is Good for Me

Or otherwise called, conflicting needs in representation. Which is most certainly a thing.

Sometimes we have specific needs ton representation that isn’t met due to certain circumstances. Recently I posted something about how Lazy Eyes are portrayed as inherently ableist, despite the fact I grew up with it being incredibly disabling and being treated poorly for having one, and in a discussion with other people, have been told they feel the same way.

Today, I saw a post about how someone being transphobic, complained about how trans characters gave him dysphoria. While he was incredibly transphobic about him, I realized that there’s intersectionality on representation no one really talks about.

We don’t talk about how it’s weird to define representation as good and bad depending on how stereotyped it looks. We just sort of do it.

Like, for example, a flamboyantly gay, gender-nonconforming man who is very open about his sexuality and might even be sexual. This is considered a horrible stereotype. I... I've known gay men like that who genuinely enjoyed the nice representation of those characters.

I think the issue is the difference between how it's played off, and why it's being done. And I'll use a few examples.

Power Puff Girls has the Devil who suspiciously borders on a transmisogynistic and homophobic stereotype, being a villain. The femininity that the character displays is part of the villainous routine, and there's not much to the character outside of this. When the character feels like it, he drops his femininity to become masculine and aggressive. Top it off with being the devil, it's pretty bad. This is bad representation, if not for the villain part, then for the fact that there's no substance to it at all.

Which is actually what the problem with representation usually is. It's two-dimensional, and it's villanizing. The character is not only that way because it makes them more villainous, but it also helps make us look horrifying to the viewers.

What changes when you include Lil Nas X's recent release, MONTERO (Call me by your name)? It's a form of self-expression and it's inherently fighting back against the need to sanitize oneself for an oppressing class. It's fighting back against the idea that in order to exist, we need to be pure. To be accepted into heaven we atone for being gay. It's a rejection of Modern Religion and society's base treatment of us.

And it's necessary. We can't have the soft, loving, sanitized rep. It can suit plenty of us. Being accepted into heaven- in spite of our flaw of being gay? I've been told that before- isn't what everyone wants. In order to have reached acceptance, we must not readily display the "bad" part of ourselves.

If a straight woman was to want for a dude, it's highly more accepted than if a man were to do it. Regardless of the man's input?

I can't go to a conversation, openly as a trans man, and discuss my attraction to men as a man, and not get shut down, "because it's weird" but I do have to sit there and hear talk about anime boobs. Sometimes for hours. Because you know, that's acceptable in society, me liking men as a dude isn't.

And the thing is, neither is bad. A gay man being openly sexual and open about his sexuality in media, so long as it's not his defining trait and he's not demonized for it in the media- aka villainizing a gay man who is flamboyantly gay and gnc is very common- it's good.

A gay man who is soft, caring and understanding for his partner, emotionally mature and shies away from his sexuality is also good. It's not representation I need, but for younger audiences it is.

A gay man who is selective in his men vs a man who isn't. We need both.

Representation makes us feel human. Like we're not horrible for existing, and one set is never going to be enough.

For example. I'm a very androgynous trans man. I wear dresses and makeup.

I enjoy the feminine trans characters because they can exist and so can I. I also enjoy the masculine trans characters.

I hate the written trans experience and I absolutely cannot stand fanfiction regarding trans man, regardless of which it is.

It's dysphoria-inducing. Why? Because it focuses on the aspect of being trans rather than the aspect of existing as a man, and those aspects tend to center around dysphoria or being AFAB. Either way, the experience is uncomfortable for me to interact with and can really bother me.

That form of representation isn't for me. I live the trans experience. I don't need it in my media. I want a person who lives the average life and happens to be trans. Where being trans isn't the center of the story.

Other people need it the exact opposite, and if being trans isn't integral it bothers them. They feel like being trans is on a higher level of their identity and their rep needs to reflect that.

In fact, I talked to another trans friend of mine, who said that the kind of stories that focus on the body being AFAB was reaffirming to them and it helped them along. They loved content like that. Where as I couldn't bear it, it caused me issues and I saw it personally as harmful.

The thing about rep isn't actually the stereotypes, most of the time. IE a feminine trans man character isn't bad rep, so long as he's an actual human being.

I also think the person making it and the intent behind the character are important.

Example 1: A cis woman who makes a trans woman villain the epitome of masculinity who is pretending to be a woman, and is defeated by a woman, is just bad rep.

Why? Because a) it targets and puts down another minority to uplift women. b) it intentionally tries to erase trans women from being women. c) it reinforces the stereotype that trans women are just men trying to pretend to be women and are inherently violent. d) it demonized masculine trans women who may have been denied- or do not want- to medically transition.

Example 2: Created by someone who is LGBT+ with input from a trans man. A trans man is flamboyantly gay, talks about how much he loves men quite a lot, and is known for being fairly feminine. He enjoys hobbies such as boating and fishing, and his story is about connecting with his community and accepting himself as a person without needing to give a part of himself up.

Is example 2 real? I hope it is, I'd enjoy that. But this is good rep. Yes, it plays on stereotypes, but this is a person. Their story is about their identity and they have traits outside of the stereotype. For a flamboyantly gay trans man, this would be perfect. If you challenged toxic masculinity in the movie and addressed how trans men feel the need to overperform into toxic masculinity for acceptance and how it ruins our connections with our emotions, it would be pretty great.

Example 3: Created based on a real person. A character who is clearly autistic, and struggles with communication, who acts childish and clearly has a prominent lazy eye. This character struggles with tasks but gets them right. This is done with input and the person's input

Bad Rep?

If you said yes you'd be wrong. A character based on a real human being can't be bad representation. Because a) they're human, and b) there's a nuance to people that needs to be addressed.

Human beings will never be a monolith and having a monolith idea of representation to show oppressors what we're like ignores the fact of human diversity.

I can only speak for myself. This means the topic of race and how to handle racial issues in media vs the sanitization of the culture people of colour have, is not one I can speak on, and I wish I could have input on it.

I'll add if I'm not cohesive enough, it's usually because of Autism and possible Comorbid ADHD fighting each other.

If someone better at the topic can handle this, feel free to reblog and add on, I'll reblog additions and reply to any concerns made.

#representation #diversity in media #what's bad for you is good for me

[wendibird]

SPN 15X15 Observations

The saga of my shitty cable/internet provider continues. This week I was again watching it on my computer through the streaming app since TV still isn’t getting reliable reception, and my internet connection kept dropping! (Luckily, I’ve also set it to record, so I was able to re-watch the episode after it aired.) So, my notes are much less coherent probably, and I’ve had a long day so my after-episode thoughts probably are too. 

Everything else under the cut for those who wish to avoid spoilers and all my rambling:

- Connor isn't going to last long. - wtf? (freaky teddy bear!) - "she and I used to have a thing"? Seriously Dean? - Cas: "Sam?" (aka "Please be the reasonable one.") - soooooo much salt from Cas. - "Agent Swift!" - BABY YODA!!!! - I think the crossroads thing is Cas just making a phone call more or less. - Cas, there are NEVER "too many cats". - LOL I love Cas' literalness - Eeeeee..... love them bonding. - Hrm. So there's definitely a karmic element to these killings. I mean, "Lair" seemed like a bit of a stretch for the other kid, unless the "lie" was in him agreeing with the snobby girls. But I have a feeling this lady here is going to end up with something like "thief" carved into her. (So, thoughts: Avenging Angel? Just Deserts? Probably something new.)

- Also I feel like there was maybe something in that "previously" scene that I don't remember seeing before. (Was talking about Dean going into detail about needing to take Amara out as well as Chuck. I remember part of that conversation, but some parts felt "new" to me? Though I've only seen through this current season once, so I might just not be remembering everything right.) - Sam's worried/concerned about Jack! <3 - "At least this time it's not you and me." Oh man does that feel like foreshadowing. - Not sure I trust the pastor. - I've been watching this show too long. They all feel sketchy. Especially the girl with the headband. *LOL* - Oh man. Are they really going "Torture Porn" on us again? (Apparently) - His (Jack’s) Mom died 3 years ago too. - "I have more dads than most." <3 - "Put your trust in God." Wow. *LOL* Poor Jack. - Cas, you're totally one of his dads. But yes. It is complicated. - Ahhh. Maybe that's what the "Liar" thing was about. (Connor being gay and hiding it?) - Hi Amara! (My cat wants to get into my closet.)

- Amara's still in relatively light colors.

(Stupid internet signal is being a pain)

- I wish I knew what was going on.

(Aaaaand more internet problems)

- I love Cas! (still confused about what's going on.)

- So, what's with the random demon in the squad car? - Dammit.... I had a feeling Jack would end up having to die to kill Chuck and Amara.

(OKAY! Now that the episode is over, I'm going to re-watch parts of it so I can find out what the hell I missed! (still irritated))

- Jack HAS one of those teddy's! I wonder which one got it for him.... (My guess is Sam or Cas) - Maybe it was Zack in the cop car at the end? He DID say he was really bored. - Reason why I was thinking it might be something supernatural was because the one who did it seemed to know in advance who they were going after, but that lady just now stole from the poor box. So, how did the daughter know? Unless she'd done it before? Hrm. - Minor note: "We've been on the road almost two days." WTF? SPN doing somewhat realistic travel times?! *LMAO* - Trying to tell what's in her other hand. Looks like it's duct-taped closed into a fist around something. A transmitter maybe? It's an odd detail that I don't think gets explained. - So, did she call him a "liar" because she saw the two of them as having dated and then he came out as gay at some point? - So, they're just gonna leave the Impala there while it's gassing up? *LOL* - I still love Cas for this part. Sharing his "Journey". - Okay, got to see the guys' talk with Amara. (At least the first half of it.) I still think it's risky for Dean to tell her about Jack even being a player on the board. Though I get that he had to give her SOMETHING so she would get that the threat is credible. That they actually CAN do something against Chuck. - Also, SPN can't settle on its history. *LOL* But that's nothing new. Back in S5 it was God and Death and Death couldn't remember who came first. Then at the end of Season 10 we got an updated version with the Darkness (Who didn't seem to have met Death prior to her imprisonment.) Now, Darkness and God were twins. - Ewwwwww.... dead guy. - Wow.... They actually textualized that. (About Mary.) - He sounded like he meant it when he said "I will never hurt you." - I still love Cas being a subtle badass. - Jack... it's NOT the only way... (And I'm pretty sure Sam HAS forgiven Jack. But I don't think they've really talked.)

SO.

I apologize that my "notes" this time are a train-wreck, but so was my internet connection, so sadly, this is what happens when I watch part of the episode, miss some important bits, and watch most of the rest of it (while still missing more bits) and then when it's finally over I can finally go back and re-watch the bits I'd missed. And I wound up mostly just re-watching the whole thing again anyway. And some things definitely made more sense, and I definitely noticed some things I hadn't caught the first time.

I know a lot of people aren't going to like it because it mostly featured Cas and Jack while being light on the brothers. (But there WAS some good brother content!) I did enjoy it well enough though. (Like, it's not gonna make my top 10 total episodes, but I liked it better than a lot of the ones earlier this season.)

Organizing my thoughts is gonna be a bit hard (I've had a long day) but I'll make an attempt here.

Cas and Jack's arc: It definitely had a more old-school SPN horror vibe to me, though more like some of the newer horror movies (like Saw and the like) and I think both characters were written well. We had two awkward angels who still don't get all things human, but they obviously care. There was also a lot of talk about God in a way that I felt made both of them feel awkward considering their perspective on Chuck. I do still wonder though about some of the details of what Sylvia was doing. Like, I get how she'd probably been stewing about the one boy for a while. But the lady (could never quite tell if it was Valerie or Mallory) had literally JUST stolen from the donation box when she stepped outside into the trap laid for her. So, was this maybe a habit of her's? How would Sylvia have known about it beforehand? And also, what was with the crossroads demon at the very end posing as/possessing a police officer? Is he going rogue because he's bored? Is he acting on some weird kind of orders? I saw some theories about maybe the Dad made a crossroads deal to spring his daughter, but... I dunno. Unless it's supposed be a tease for something to come later, it feels odd and random.

Overall, I did really like Cas in this episode. I thought his blend of salt, cluelessness, and altruism was good, and I loved what he said about his past, and how he found his new purpose. Because he has been drifting quite a bit since he lost his original purpose. But he definitely seems to have found it again with Jack. So naturally he gets to find out that Jack is fated to die taking out God and the Darkness. *sigh* Dude CANNOT catch a break! Also, JACK! I love him so much! (And honestly, I'd had suspicions already that this is what had been troubling him. I'm glad he finally told one of his dads at least.)

Also, just wanna reiterate, I loved that bit at the beginning when Dean suggests Cas and Jack go tackle this case "that probably isn't anything (supernatural)" and he turns to Sam like "Please be the sane one here." (My hope/headcanon is that Sam encouraged him to go because he knows something has been troubling Jack, and if Jack won't open up to Sam about it, maybe he was hoping he'd open up to Cas at least. Then maybe SOMEONE could help him. But I don't know if the writers are thinking that deeply about Sam.)

Speaking of Sam and Dean... Okay, overall I thought their part of the episode was okay for what we saw. Like, the brother talk in the Impala, mild bickering about driving times and regular mundane stuff. Also their talk with Amara had some GOOD emotional beats in it. For Dean and Amara. Sam was mostly just there. And then he wasn't even there for the main part. So... *sigh* It's not that I begrudge Dean having that moment. I mean, he definitely had more of a connection to Amara than Sam did. But it still feels like not much really happened with him besides being a soundingboard and showing some concern for Jack. Hopefully we get more of him actually being important to the plot in upcoming episodes.

But let me reiterate that I DID like the talk Dean and Amara had! I'm glad that she textualized something that I know a lot of fans have theorized about Mary and her purpose narratively. That prior to her resurrection she had been put on this pedestal, but Dean and Sam were actually able to get to know the real woman. That the real woman was better than the memory because she WAS real. Flaws and all. (Not that I blame Dean for being angry.) I'm just glad that it was said outright. Because I got the feeling from some of the things Samantha Smith has said at cons that that was part of the point of Mary's character since S12, to make her real. And I know a lot of people couldn't see past her flaws and still hate her. (I DO think some things could have been handled better with her character, but that's not the point of this long rambly post today.) Also, when Dean said that he could never hurt her? It felt like him telling the truth. Maybe he was able to get that feeling across because technically he WAS telling the truth, since the plan is for Jack to be the one doing the hurting. But I dunno.

Anyway, overall I thought it was a decent episode. It had some good character moments in it, and considering I thiiiiink the next episode is going to be very Sam and Dean heavy, I'm not gonna begrudge Cas and Jack some screentime in this one since things are likely going to be getting dicey here fairly soon.

(And again, I apologize for how scattered this is this time.)

P.S. Oh, and one last thing before I forget. Especially after last episode, I find it odd that Jack still thinks BOTH brothers haven't forgiven him. I get why he would think that about Dean. The dude outright said it was going to take some time. But Sam, as far as we've seen has been shown to be supportive of Jack. So, I wonder if it's because Jack still hasn't forgiven himself? Or if it's because maybe he and Sam haven't really talked about that whole issue, so maybe Jack thinks Sam is just avoiding it? (Or if the writers are just lumping Sam&Dean together again because WHY would anyone see them as two separate entities? *salty*) Because if anyone in this show SHOULD be aware that the brothers don't always think the same it should be Jack. Because from the start Sam has tended to hold a different stance in regards to him than Dean. *sigh* Ah well. We'll see how things fall out. Especially considering what Cas (I’m assuming anyway) told Dean about Jack and Billy’s plan. 

#spn 15x15 spoilers #spn season 15 spoilers #episode review #my thoughts #mine internet doth sucketh #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #the darkness/amara

[yurimother]

Hey sorry if this is annoying or anything but do you have any recommendations for yuri that takes place in a fantasy/sci-fi or just generally not realistic-fiction setting? Thanks :-)

Another great question! Fair warning, I am going to be firing these off the top of my head. I am sure that there are other titles, including obvious ones that I am blanking on. I am also going to try and talk about hard sci-fi and fantasy, although there are plenty of great yuri works with light dashes of these genres.

As you might have seen, I reviewed some adaptions from J-Novel Club, and their yuri light novel line-up is focused on fantasy and science fiction. The one I enjoyed most out of that bunch was probably Last and First Idol, but I do not know if I would recommend it (looked up the review of it if you are interested. It is pretty graphic). They are also releasing Sexiled soon, which I would love to do a review of because the premise looks fantastic!

There are also some fantasy webtoons such as Mage & Demon Queen and Daily Witch that I greatly enjoy. If you are alright with mildly explicit sexual content (say 16+) Nagashiro Rouge’s Eve and Eve is a great anthology (I have a review of that one too if you are curious).

If visual novels are your speed, I recommend Fatal Twelve and the upcoming Synergia looks interesting (another thing I should probably review). The Lovestruck mobile app also has some fantasy VNs with yuri routs like Love and Legends and Astoria (talk about a title I want to review. I have a MIGHTY NEED to talk about Astoria).

Oh, and I somehow almost forgot Puella Magi Madoka Magica (despite the fact that I am currently wearing a Rebellion Story sweatshirt). But really, almost every magical girl series feels pretty gay.

I hope there is a least one series here that you find interesting! I have listed them below so you don’t have to read my ranting.

Last and First Idol (light novel)

Sexiled (light novel)

Mage & Demon Queen (webtoon)

Daily Witch (webtoon)

Eve and Eve (manga)

Fatal Twelve (visual novel)

Synergia (visual novel)

Lovestruck - Love and Legends  (mobile visual novel)

Lovestruck - Astoria  (mobile visual novel)

Puella Magi Madoka Magica (anime, manga, franchise, religion?)

Recommend more sci-fi and fantasy yuri works in the replies folks!!

[swatato]

fat. FAT. P H A T RANT INCOMING FOR ANYONE WHO CARES TO READ THIS NONSENSE CUZ @haldidoodh ASKED

That episode literally blasted the last of my serotonin into smithereens but TBH??? WHO AM I MAD AT I should have seen this coming this whole volume has been such a headache. I cant be bothered to type up a coherent rwde essay on everything that bothered me this episode so im just gonna copy and paste my earlier yelling here instead ;A;

Team Rwby was god awful in episodes 11-12. They’re so self-righteous, entitled, hypocritical and cocky as a team and it doesnt help that they all suck as individual characters nowadays (except for weiss but even she lost best-girl points this episode also lmao blake and yang aren’t even INDIVIDUALS anymore they’re just bumbleby). It was annoying at first but now its just infuriating how rwby thinks theyre always right with their uwu energy and think they can do whatever tf they want with ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

Basically any time there is a problem in this show they have Ruby uwu at it and its solved lol.

They kept giving ironwood shit for taking on this incredible burden SO THAT NOBODY ELSE WOULD HAVE TO and rather than offer any real solution they just kept going “but mantle” like okay?? But remnant??? Like obvi letting mantle rot is bad but HE WAS OPEN TO ANY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS CUZ HES OBVI AT HIS WITTS END AND DOESNT LIKE THE IDEA EITHER but yeah they just proceed to be the fattest hypocrites by hiding secrets of their own after being all “no more secrets uwu” and WHEN THEY GOT EXPOSED THEY JUST WENT “>:[“ (yangs self-righteous little glare here pissed me off so much oof) especially when ironwood was laying everything out in the open to them from the start. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SECRET WAS FKIN “OH YEAH SALEM CANT DIE LOL” They watched ironwood make every decision he did in hopes of beating Salem while KNOWING she couldnt die??? So literallY WHERE do they get off on screeching at him with their yOu doNt hAvE to Suffer In ManTle YOu doNt kNow whAt iTs liKe bs. Wtf made ruby distrust iw at the start anyway? Because he had a bunch of ships out? They kept this CRUCIAL piece of information from him because he seemed stressed out?? Like what made ruby keep the secret from him. Someone tell me.

And the fact that rwby beat the ace-ops makes no goddamned sense. The power-scaling in this show is non-existant. We finally got to meet some pro huntsmen in this universe who aren’t teachers but are actually on the job, but because we gotta move out of the way for that 👌🏽✨ Power Of Friendship✨ and ✨rwby is always right✨ they somehow managed to beat experienced huntsmen with YEARS in the field who’ve actually graduated school??? FARM BOI OSCAR WHOS *JUST* LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT MANAGED TO LAND A PUNCH ON NEO FKIN POLITAN??? Didnt neo dance circles around yang??? Yang, who punches for a living and also beat mercury and adam??? I cant yall (and the fact that he didnt even bother to sneak up on her this boi literally screamed “no!!” as he ran down a hallway and neo didnt even have time to blink??? Pls)

Ruby’s “you were the best, until you trained us :3” -for maybe 2 days before my team went dancing ruby sis shut right tf up pls my god is this line just so. UNEARNED. Training in a room for a short while does not simply grant you the years of field experience the ace ops have and whAT IS UP WITH HER TRYING TO REASON WITH HARIETT AFTER SAYING THAT COCKY LINE AND FIGHTING HER??? WHAT and also like. The entire idea of “the ops lost cuz they weren’t good friends and were bad at teamwork uwu” is just so dumb. Ur telling me this group of high ranking hunstmen who’ve most likely been working together for at least a few years didnt have teamwork down??? Learning to work together is the most BASIC concept for a team to learn!! Its like the first thing a team has to perfect!! If the ace ops are supposed to be the best of atlas you dont think the ops would have gotten something as fundemental as teamwork down?? I dont buy it. And who gives a shit if they dont hang out after work or take selfies with eachother. Being friends doesnt necessarily mean theyre great at working together. If they succeed at relying on eachother to watch their backs, to keep each other alive (in the words of hariett herself) then Id think theyd know how to protect eachother i.e WORK TOGETHER.

And for all the ✨friendship✨ and ✨going through so much with someone✨ talk rwby like to do, the show barely displays these people acting like friends. We’re constantly TOLD how great of friends this group is, but the actual CONTENT we are shown leaves a lot to be desired. Tell me the last time ruby and blake teamed up in a fight. Or weiss and blake. Or yang and weiss. What teamwork?? Yang only interacts with blake now and weiss is only ever allowed to interact with ruby. Has blake ever said nora or ren’s name out loud? Have jaune and yang ever held a conversation between just them? Team rwby just spent a GOOD DEAL of time seperated from eachother, but when they reunite their teamwork is still somehow better than the ace ops?? Honestly its easier to believe that ruby is closer with team jnpr than she is her own team. If they showed the ops messing up during rwby vs ace ops fight due to lack of communication, then it still doesnt matter. My point is that they shouldnt have lacked teamwork in the first place.

Robyn was m e h this episode “JaMes ConTinUes to UnDeresTimAte Me” *proceeds to get knocked over in .3 seconds and is then KO for the rest of the episode* also great job for starting a fight and aiming to take clovers life in a moving airship with a terrorist on board when clover was acting PEACEFULLY and qrow was WILLING TO TALK IT OUT WITH IW and potentially work on a solution, but naw robyn is big mad and shall shoot.

Qrow made zero sense this episode too. I was with him right up until he chose TYRIAN OVER CLOVER??? THE PSYCOPATH WHO CANNOT BE REASONED WITH OVER THE RATIONAL DUDE YOU KNOW IS GOOD except clover wasnt acting rational in this fight at all and ill get to that AND IS THE ONLY FRIEND YOU HAVE WHOS NOT 19????? Qrow rly looked at tyrian- a man who is literally an enemy to all of remnant and went after ur neice- and said lets get rid of this punk together u and me bro. Like screw teaming with clover to bring down the dude you ACTUALLY have a grudge with whos also a serial killer and then trying to talk it out with clover whod be willing to do things peacefully why is this show like this

and AS FOR CLOVER. where were the braincells this episode. Qrow was trying to fight tyrian-the WAY bigger threat here, but clover??? kept knocking him away from tyrian and restraining him with his hook like??? YEAH LETS HELP OUT THE DEMON SCORPION CRACKHEAD HES CLEARLY NOT THE PRIORITY ATM nvm clover deserved to die there m8

His death scene was emotional and I feel bad for Qrow but u literally sealed his death when u ganged on him with tyrian so why are you even surprised. And on the subject of fairgame, im glad it didnt happen. Qrow was in no state for romance and I was glad he finally had a friend. He just spent the last volume thinking he wasted his life away helping oz, drowning in misery, drinking til he passed out on the street and so drunk he couldnt even be of any help during the apathy situation, when up til now hes been shown to fight just fine while drunk. I don’t see this as a “bury your gays trope” because clover was never confirmed to be gay and all their scenes added up to 40 seconds of platonic friendship. These two are grown ass men, if they had the hots for eachother then im pretty sure they could openly show it and not dance around it like theyre kids. I do feel bad for mlm viewers who were hoping for some rep with fairgame/lucky charms (cuz rt only cares if ur a cute marketable lesbian) but idc for the overly entitled fans who try to force their own headcanons on the writers and go feral when they dont get what they want. You dont just get to prance around claiming whats canon and what isnt. If rep is there then great, but if it isnt, then why not look somehwere else and let the author tell the story theyre trying to tell? Shipping fairgame cuz you think its cute is absolutely fine but not when u start getting ready to casterate crwby for not catering to you. Also, rwby sucks with lgbt+ rep anyway so what were yall expecting.

The only thing that was great this episode was the chorerography. It just sucks that the animation/choreo continues to improve while the writing doesnt. Another thing that really fell off this episode was the whole “we’re friends but we have to fight” drama. It doesnt work when its only ONE SIDE SHOWING ANY DISTRESS OVER IT. Only the ace ops (marrow, clover, the vine dude) seemed to show distress over having to fight rwby (it sucks that the only 1v1 weiss has won was because marrow was going EASY on her cuz he didnt wanna fight her fr) but rwby???? They didnt give any shits. They were so quick to turn against them and aim for their heads. They were SMILING as they ran at the ace ops, while they looked conflicted. If you oppose their UwU philosophy, you’re dead to them.

I really wanna enjoy RWBY but sometimes this show (and the fndm) really tests me. Its ironic how this episode came right after last episode, which I thought was the best chapter this volume. Anyway I rate this 10/10 cuz it gave me best character ironwood and best boi marrow and I would like to give them hugs for carrying this volume on their backs. (Also tyrian and penny and winter have been great too)

#oof just oof #and idegaf about cinder yall #lowkey hoping she gets all the maiden powers so she can finally beat rwby up and HUMBLE them a little #rwby #rwby vol 7 #rwde

[neversatisfiedswitch]

So I’ve been meaning to post more images of my OCs, as I’ve made them in The Sims 4. So under the cut here is exactly that, sans the majority of my vampire OCs and a couple of others that I don’t write about or RP that often. Their names and a little info about them are above their pictures. :3

Myarel, aka my first ever OC. My grouchy demon boy. Has 5 siblings and a ton of cousins. His adoptive parent is his wife’s grandmother, Rowan. Externally grumpy, internally sweet. He and his siblings are Shadow demons.

Colton, a shy cyborg cutie. Is dating Myarel’s youngest sister Keida. Doesn’t like talking about his dad all that much. His right arm from the elbow down and his legs from his knees to about the soles of his feet are metal. His right eye has a small red dot in the pupil that grows when he experiences negative emotions.

Lyn, a blind, polyamorous Southern gentleman. Flirty and independent, and will whack you with his cane if you do something he doesn’t like. Lives with his three lovers on his farm. His father was a fairy, and his mother was a Shadow Demon. He has wings, but rarely exposes them, and can do a bit of magic.

Isaac, a gay former pirate. Prankster, makes stupid jokes, and can often be irritating, but still a sweetie. Adores his boyfriend. Helps Lyn out on his farm, and still loves the sea, though the land will be his home from now on.

Vi, a vampiress. Myarel’s wife and mother of their triplets. Is often told she looks like her grandmother. Adores her family, and acts as an older sister to her younger cousins.

Rose, Vi and Myarel’s daughter. A total Daddy’s girl, and the oldest of the triplets. (She and her siblings are shown here as teenagers, around 14.)

Viktor, Vi and Myarel’s son. Very close to his mom, and the youngest of the triplets.

Axel, Vi and Myarel’s son. As the middle child, he loves to mess with his siblings and parents alike, but he’s still sweet.

Dormir, one of Lyn’s lovers. A vampire who was born with double fangs, giving him a slight lisp. Is protective of his little sister.

Estrella, a mermaid. She’s engaged to Tiburón, and is another of Lyn’s lovers, as well as the mother of the quartet’s children.

Tiburón, a merman. Engaged to Estrella since they were young. Is mute, and speaks through sign language.

Aria, a young vampire, shown here as a teenager. Dormir’s younger sister, and admirer of everything he does.

Esteban, Estrella and Tiburón’s son. Oldest of his siblings, protective over them and Aria alike. (He and his siblings are shown as teenagers here.)

Angelita, daughter of Dormir and Estrella. The middle child of her siblings, she adores all of her parents, and especially adores her aunt Aria, who is more like a sister to her.

Cristobal, son of Estrella and Lyn. Shares his father’s eye color, but not his blindness. The youngest of his siblings, very close to his father.

Erika, Isaac’s older sister. Is kind of a social media celebrity, but she doesn’t care about fame as much as she cares about her brother and father.

Xalia, Myarel’s oldest sister. Likes bright colors, and is sometimes snappy, but cares more about her siblings than anything else.

Zukari, the middle child in Myarel’s family. Quiet, kind of shy, and bad at talking to people. More open around his family than around strangers.

Keida, Colton’s girlfriend and one of the two second-youngest kids in her family. She and Kikaru are twins. She’s more confident than both her brother and her boyfriend and makes them be social.

Kikaru, Keida’s twin and one of the second-youngest kids in his family. Doesn’t enjoy being social, but as he and his sister are usually together, he’s better than he used to be.

Zexion, the youngest child of Myarel’s family. Prefers spending time birdwatching rather than making friends, but is always joined by someone else in his room eventually.

Hexxian, Myarel’s oldest cousin. His nickname is Hexx. He was one of a set of quadruplets, but his sisters died in utero. The spirits of his sisters matured with him, and he’s always had their guidance. Married to Opal. His mother is a Shadow Demon, and his father is a warlock.

Opal, a rare Prism fairy, Hexx’s wife, and Lyn’s former guardian. Kind-hearted and soft-spoken, but not as delicate as she seems. Has helped Lyn glamour part of his farm so he can keep magical creatures in it.

Tarja, Myarel’s cousin. The oldest of her siblings. In the band she and her brothers made together, she plays bass and provides vocals. Genderfluid, mostly presents as female and accepts he/she/they pronouns. As a shapeshifter, she can take any form she wishes, though her eyes stay the same. She and her brothers are Shadow demons.

Xandon, nicknamed Xan. Oldest of Tarja’s brothers. Quiet and bookish. Plays piano and synthesizer for his family’s band.

Nexxan, nicknamed Nexx. The middle child in his family. Hyperactive, funny, and always full of energy. Plays drums in his family’s band.

Vixaine, nicknamed Vix. Second-youngest in his family. Unlucky in love, but believes he’ll find the one someday. Provides lead vocals in his family’s band, and can also play guitar.

Mizane, nicknamed Zane. The youngest in his family. Shy, sensitive, and very attached to his sister. Very rarely sings, but he can. Taught himself to play guitar, and plays it in his family’s band.

Draiman, Myarel’s cousin. Goofy and outgoing, always looking for ways to bug Myarel, but genuinely cares about him. Oldest of his siblings, first to move out of his family’s home. He and his siblings are Shadow demon/ Water demon hybrids.

Liberty, Draiman’s oldest sister and second-oldest in her family. Independent and always creating her own fashion trends. Can’t wait to move out.

Quill, Draiman’s brother. A bit lazy, but mostly just laid-back. Doesn’t worry about anything, even school, but still gets good grades.

Ingrid, Draiman’s youngest sister. Optimistic and outgoing, and always looking forward to tomorrow.

Rowan, a vampiress. Adoptive mother of Colton and Myarel, grandmother of Violet, and great-grandmother to Vi and Myarel’s triplets. She considers herself the mother of anyone who needs one. Youngest of her 12 siblings, and one of the two who survived. Kind and cares for her family.

Everett, aka my self-insert. Isaac’s boyfriend and Rowan’s grandson. Transgender and gay. Is the only one who can successfully play pranks on Isaac without him suspecting anything. Outgoing and always looks out for his twin brother. He and his brother are half vampire and half shapeshifter, and he can shapeshift into a white Cheetah.

Ethan, Everett’s twin and Xan’s boyfriend. Quiet, shy, and mostly scared of new people, but his brother drags him along when he feels he needs to meet people. Despite his shyness, he’s still sweet as can be. Can only shapeshift halfway into a white Cheetah, meaning he has all the characteristics of the Cheetah, but not the body.

Hickory, a shapeshifter that can turn into a Barn Owl, shown here in human form. Is often Rowan’s companion, though she doesn’t know he’s a shapeshifter and thinks he’s a normal owl. Is around 15 years old in human form. Knows he’ll have to come clean to Rowan eventually.

Jolene, nicknamed Buttercup. A Fire demon/succubus hybrid who abstains from using her seduction. Wears her mask to hide facial scars. Zukari is her boyfriend, and she loves him dearly. Also loves her two adopted siblings, Ren and Selene. Mistrustful of most people, but can come around eventually.

Selene, nicknamed Twitch. A Lightning demon/succubus hybrid who hasn’t used her seduction once in her life-- she’s terrible at it, it turns out. Nexx is her boyfriend, the only one who can keep up with her motormouth. Loves making new friends, very hyperactive.

Ren, nicknamed River. A Water demon/incubus hybrid, great at seduction but more content to make friends the normal way. Doesn’t talk much, but is willing to make friends. Despite being the same age as his sisters, he’s extremely protective over them.

Chris, a ghost. Was murdered, though he doesn’t remember who did it. He still has the scars on his chest, but he really isn’t looking for his killer. He’s just happy spending his days with his husband, Paul. Very mischievous, but only toward people he knows.

Paul, a ghost. When he met Chris he was alive, but he won’t disclose his manner of death to anyone, not even his husband. Is a DJ, and is super friendly despite his tendency to scare people who are unprepared.

Chimaera, a humanoid Chimera (lion/goat/snake), seen in a form closest to their normal one. Gender-neutral, will accept any pronouns but prefers they/them. It’s unclear if they choose not to speak, or if they just can’t. Shy and rarely wants to be around people, though they’re comfortable around Lyn.

Dee, a werewolf. She was born as a werewolf rather than turned into one, and as such she can become a wolf at will. Outgoing and loves to meet new people, and of course, loves sparkly things.

Wisteria, a Nature fairy. Lives with Draiman, though the two are just friends. Always surrounded by butterflies, and where her bare feet tread, flowers spring up. Rarely shows her wings to anyone. Is comfortable around people, but is more comfortable around nature.

Amelia, currently a zombie, formerly a shapeshifter who can become a Barn Owl-- and Wisteria’s younger sister. Doesn’t remember her real name, but people who’ve met her gave her the name Amelia. Very shy, and can hardly speak as her voice is raspy. Her cause of death is unclear, but she’s not decaying. Loves animals and doesn’t like killing anything or anyone.

Emily, Amelia’s girlfriend and the daughter of two gay men. She’s outspoken and takes no shit from anyone. Is very strong, and can lift her tiny girlfriend above her head. Thought zombies were all mindless until she met Amelia. Hopes to find a cure one day.

Erin, a dragon shapeshifter and distant cousin to Ethan and Everett. Reclusive, as his temper is not something he likes to show people due to his inability to control his shapeshifting when he’s angry. Is very close to Dementia, who has become his assistant and companion over the years.

Dementia, a Mist demon. She feels a connection to Myarel, though why she feels it is unknown. Has grown close to Erin, helping calm him down when his temper flares and coaxing him out of his dragon form. Hopes to be able to approach Myarel someday, but for now is content helping Erin.

Journey, aka my newest OC. A deer-inspired ball-jointed doll given life by Erin. Is quiet as she doesn’t know how to speak yet, but is also very stubborn. Assists Erin and Dementia when she can, but is independent and longs to explore the world.

#this took a while fdsklfj #if you want to see more of some of them #like the rest of their outfits or anything #let me know! #I might do one of those things #where I make a color scale and highlight their tickle spots :P #anyway! #enjoy the majority of my children :3

[dreadlock-detective]

All of my 5th ed D&D characters together, by order of appearance: Adi the Paladin (Crimson Crow Campaign), Beatrice the Monk/Cleric, Cirilisa the Wizard, Dindelion the Sorceress, Elenor the Ranger/Wizard, and Adi the Cleric (Curse of Strahd Campaign) (yes that’s A B C D E, and then A again)

My characters tend to have rather large issues that would, if they were left on their own without their respective groups/getting caught up in the campaign, ensure they’d never actually succeed in their goals. As such I’ve really enjoyed distilling each of them down to a single word, an essence of what lays behind their entire psyches. And they’re all bad. Yes, even “Justice”, due to the circumstances~ Ramble about each of them after the cut~

Adi the Paladin (of the Crimson Crows) is a bit of a special case, the only one whose impediment to their success isn’t strictly speaking herself. The child of nobles who collected ancient artifacts, it is said one day they lost themselves to madness. Adi was taken in by her aunt and uncle who raised her the best she could, but as she grew they found she too was prone to bouts of madness and hysteria. One day, when the man they had hired to exercise whatever demons lay upon her mind was found upon the floor, the girl bloodying his face with her fists, she was deemed incurable and quietly shipped away to join a peace-keeping force of ex-criminals and other undesirables known as the Crimson Crows.

She always thought of herself as a hero - a warrior of good and bringer of justice. The problem lays in that she was, originally, a warlock/barbarian of a Great Old One (Nyarlathotep), which warped how she saw the world to fit how she saw herself. For example, if she killed someone, it’s because that person deserved to be killed - if not for the reasons she was attacking them, then for something else. A self proclaimed Hero of the People who’s powers came from something far more likely to destroy the world, manipulating her towards its goals.

She had a rather happy ending, though - some of the other PC’s betrayed her trust and managed to sever her connection to Nyarlathotep, afterward she became a Paladin and through the power of friendship (with a colony of Mind Flayers - its a weird story) she managed to become the hero she always thought she was, ending a war with minimal bloodshed and bringing down an ancient evil.

Beatrice the Monk/Cleric of Death The young Bea, in a desperate attempt to save her clan from a powerful and deceptive mage, ended up selling her soul to a litch, turning her into a pseudo-undead herself. As it turns out, her clan who hunted the undead as abominations and mislead by the mage didn’t take kindly to that story, and she joined the Crimson Crows instead of facing their wrath. Faced with the knowledge that she had become the thing she had sworn to destroy to save those that now cast her out, she lost hope that she could ever reclaim her soul and, even among her new family of misfits, feared they would abandon her as well.

Sadly, she never got an end to her story - she got switched out for Adi when the campaign Adi was originally in was abruptly abandoned. Later on her and her wizard friend (another PC who had left the game) who both were hunting that evil mage found themselves mind-controlled into helping him resurrect an ancient draco-litch. She was saved by Adi & co, but now was worse off than ever, having played a pivotal role in bringing back a terrible undead horror, no matter how unwillingly. If we ever play another campaign in that world, I’d love to give her a proper story.

Cirilisa the Wizard Oh precious Ciri, the littlest Drow~ When a rival house murdered her entire family she became a young murder hobo in the underdark, growing up sickly and frail. Eventually she attempted to get her revenge but only managed to steal and sell some artifact from the family, along with getting a massive scar across her midsection from a blast from the family’s matriarch. Somehow escaping to the surface, her unconscious body was found by scouts of the Crimson Crows, who brought her back to relative health and gave her a new home, where she eventually set herself on becoming a moderately accomplished wizard. Her loss in childhood had deadened her already drow heart, but living among the surface world she saw so many people with so many emotions. She didn’t understand them, but she secretly coveted what they had.

I had planned that she would start to fall in love with the first PC that went out of their way to protect or help her from a serious problem - a plan that was designed to end poorly. The three candidates were a loner dwarf who didn’t want anything to do with anyone else, a were-bear orc who was 100% gay, and a minotaur who was already in a committed relationship. But even though the feelings wouldn’t be returned, she would FEEL things and grow as a character... well...

I didn’t expect that character (the orc) to protect her from drow assassins who nearly managed to kill her... and then THE NEXT NIGHT sacrifice his soul to a revenant of a man he had killed to protect the party. Before Ciri even had a chance to start acknowledging or understanding what she was feeling the object of her affections was dead and buried along the roadside. Instead of love, she grew bitter and angry, desperate to find a way to save the orc’s soul, all without really knowing why. She died before she could - her heart ripped from her chest by a wraith of vampiric spirits in a climatic boss battle. But that group’s leader, a PC vampire named Walter, destroyed the wraith, took it’s title and powers as Blood Lord, and raised her as a vampire. She’s still a ball of piss and vinegar, but she’s in a way found herself in a new family, charging herself with constantly keeping the Blood Lord in check and making sure he never gets too full of himself.

Dindelion the Sorceress If you don’t know about Dindel you haven’t been following me long. A homeless vagabond who hides her natural born ability to heal others for fear it would be exploited, she’s internalized many negative things about herself and rarely trusts herself to make decisions that won’t end in disaster. Add in a mother that disappeared when she was young, a drunkard gambler of a father, and a city decades in decline full of poverty and abuse by those in power and she’s got more than a few trust issues for other folks as well. She also has absolutely no idea how a healthy relationship is supposed to work, and a head full of stories and romance that have absolutely not lined up with her experiences since the campaign started.

Her father, the only constant in her life and the other half of a fairly unhealthy co-dependent relationship, got taken away by essentially the mob for not paying debts and it’s up to her to find some way to pay it off. To her great luck, she ran in to the wandering soldier Vale who, apparently wanting to make up for past sins, agrees to take her along to join a new venture he heard about, leading to the campaign proper. She was actually specifically designed to have too many trust issues to actually get in a relationship with anyone, but between how Vale cares for her and how absolutely shitty she’s found the outside world to be, those issues have actually mutated into something new as their romance has grown. Its... not any healthier a mental state though. I’m excited to see where it goes!

Elenor the Ranger/Wizard Elena was once a promising apprentice wizard, learning the weave with 4 other students. Always feeling a step above the others and not content with how slowly their teacher was progressing them, she devised a plan to work with the others to impress their teacher - to show her they were ready for bigger things. They were going to summon a creature from the planes of hell! Specifically, a Lemure, a relatively harmless blob of a twisted soul. An impressive feat and without much risk from the creature being summoned. Definitely within the capability of someone as great as her.

As sharp chains lashed out from the summoning circle her left arm was torn away. A great beast emerged, tossing her across the room. As she looked up she saw her rival, a young man named Osvaldo, brandishing an axe, standing over her, and looking quite pleased with himself. And the axe came down.

She would come to in a crypt standing near a coffin bearing the family crest of Osvaldo. Her body stiff and her mind cloudy, she slowly realized she had not survived that night at all - she was now a reanimated corpse, but had somehow regained her sense of self. She also found the nearby townspeople did not care enough to distinguish between mindless undead and herself. Eventually she found the place she had once studied - destroyed, some time ago it seems, by that night’s events. Lost and adrift, the life she once knew was over, even her memories were fragmented, but she would forever remember the names of the four who had done this. Osvaldo had convinced them to change the ritual - to summon that creature, and to use it to kill her. She was certain of it. And that hatred kept her going as years of nothingness passed her by. One day she was hired by a tunnel elf, a professed seeker of knowledge, as a guide through the wilderness and though she could not stand him they soon encountered others, mostly strange folk - a tabaxi, a triton, and a snake-like dragonborn in particular - and she stuck around to entertain herself.

Little did she know they were about to be pulled into saving the world from consumption by a forgotten and terrible deity. She thinks their chances aren’t even worth mentioning, but still she cannot allow existence to end before she has wrought what vengeance she can on those that wronged her, and so she will fight with everything she has to keep the world going.

Adi the Cleric of Nyarlathotep As Adi of the Crimson Crows discovered as she worked with the mind flayers, she was not the only Adi. Not even close. Hers was a soul connected to a power outside of time and space and finds itself drawn into worlds over and over, each incarnation as much the same as they are different. Perhaps the Crawling Chaos did not want to repeat what had happened before, maybe it was just twisted curiosity, but this iteration of the girl was born through his direct influence, raised in a town he had visited and driven mad. She was his disciple, and she would spread his teachings across the land.

Through a series of misunderstandings she has found herself in the land of Ravenloft, under the watchful eyes of the vampire Strahd, and in this land she came upon a terrible, bewitched house. A house with paintings of the owners and of a woman bearing a striking resemblance to her. A house where the ghostly children said their littlest sister was named Adi. The child had died in infancy, sacrificed in some dark ritual by its father.

And down in the depths of that place Adi found it was the truth. And there, along the alter, sat a book bound in human skin that called to her. A book of rituals devoted to her god, the Faceless Father. And there, upon the alter, she left the corpse of one of those who had traveled with her, who had brought her there.

She isn’t certain why the Faceless Father has guided her to this land, but she will carry out his will or die trying, though all things considered, perhaps the world would be better off with her in the ground, the cult’s voice silenced

#Dungeons and Dragons #D&D #Dnd #5e #characters #Adi #Beatrice #Ciri #Cirilisa #Dindel #Elena #Paladin #Monk #Cleric #Wizard #Sorcerer #Ranger #dreadlock detective

[alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer]

Ghosts of the Shadow Market Review!

My first book of the Read to Roll challenge is Ghosts of the Shadow Market by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson, Kelly Link, and Robin Wasserman. 

Look at Jem! I love my son!

Here we are at the pond! Fun fact: Cassandra Clare allegedly lives in the town next to mine. I kinda really hate it. 

I actually finished reading this a while ago, but I got caught up with school and the library book is due tomorrow, so I guess we’re doing this review tonight, bitches! 

First: I LOVED this book!! I have my issues with CC and it took me literally took me like 9 months to finish reading QOAAD (which I also enjoyed, I just couldn’t get through) but I FLEW through this book! I think maybe the short story format just fits my brain a bit better. I’m gonna break this down by story:

Cast Long Shadows

Matthew!! My child!! I want to hug you so much!! 

This story stood out to me as particularly hopeless, especially compared to the rest of the stories. It ended in total despair, and I understand Matthew did something VERY VERY BAD but he is a dumb child and dumb 15 year olds do a lot of dumb things so 

I really hope he gets some sort of resolution in TLH

This bitch deserves happiness 

Also he’s defo not straight?? like no straight boi is THAT into oscar wilde

i kinda ship him with thomas

Every Exquisite Thing

SOOO PURE!!!!!

WE STAN SUPPORTIVE PARENTS!!!!!!!!!

This story was like a breath of fresh air compared to the last

It doesn’t really connect to the overarching plot at ALL (every other story does, correct me if I’m wrong) but i’m okay with it because anna lightwood is incredible and deserves all of the respect 

the only bit that kinda not really relates is the talk about tessa’s demon parent? which is lowkey implied to be like... actually satan?? ahhhh????

That last bit with Cecily was just so beautiful. again. 

I TOLD YOU THE BLUE WAISTCOAT WAS THE ONE

I’m just imagining them just in bed one night and one of them was like ‘our daughter hecka gay’ ‘what should we do’ ‘well we gotta buy her a suit that actually fits her obv. she can’t keep walking around in clothes that don’t fit, also they’re gross’ ‘i actually already went to the tailor down the block and made a list of the ones i think she would look best in’ 

I know ariadne broke annas heart but also i feel really bad for her. being a brown lesbian in 2019 is hard enough. she lost her parents and she doesn’t want to lose what she has left. i hope she also gets some sort of closure in TLH. i would be content with her and charlie having a charlotte and henry thing going minus the pining and falling in love. they’re married but it’s just business and they can pursue whomever on the side

also isabelle do you realize that necklace you’re wearing was once owned by queer QUEEN anna lightwood?????

Learn About Loss

this story was a little slow, but very necessary for introducing the lost herondale plot

emilia is so fucking badass 

the last scene with will and jem was so pure and wholesome. i’m so mad that they were robbed of so much time together. 

A Deeper Love

this story was just anxiety

like obv i knew jem wasn’t going to die but the CLIMAX 

can kit pls have some heart to heart with catarina in twp! like she deserves some closure! like she can just tell him some stories and he can understand a bit more of where he comes from

jem deserves all of the hugs 

i just want to scream YOU GET MARRIED! YOU HAVE A CHILD! IT WILL HAPPEN! 

The Wicked Ones

this story was,, uh,, something

i’d say it ties with cast long shadows as the most depressing 

so basically, celine was horribly abused her entire life by the people who should have taken care of her, her trauma was exploited by another abuser so that she too became incredibly manipulative and potentially abusive, and then she killed herself (was murdered?) and her child was ripped from her corpse to be abused throughout his entire childhood as well

it was cute seeing kit’s parents! they were so cute! what happened. 

Son of the Dawn

baby alec! baby izzy! baby jace! baby baby max! 

i’m not a big jace fan, but ugh i just wanted him to get the love that every child deserves! 

i can’t believe raphael santiago was alec lightwood’s sexual awakening

“brother let him see my rack-ariah” 

lily chen deserves the whole goddamn world

jem CARVED WILL’S INITIALS INTO HIS STAFF

FULL HOMO

The Land I Lost

gotta admit that i wasn’t too hype about this one bc i’m kinda tired of all of the malec narratives, but it was cute

“JEM I’D-LOVE-TO-CLIMB-’EM-CARSTAIRS” (this has to be my favorite) 

once again i love lily chen with all my heart and she deserves all of the happiness and none of the shit that the world has given her 

also??? lily breathed, “cortana.” this girl was GAY for CORDELIA CARSTAIRS

BLESS THE COME AND STARE FAMILY

i love how this small child who hates everyone just physically attached himself to alec and would not let go 

cordelia carstairs was lily’s sexual awakening and you can’t change my mind

SLEEP LILY I’LL WATCH THE DOORS alec lightwood being the PAL lily deserves

THAT BITCH! poor matthew. he was still dumb but he was played by some bitch who couldn’t separate her person grudges and an entire race of people

i love how magnus saw this child run into his home with alec nowhere in sight and was like “guess he’s my son now” 

Through Blood, Through Fire

rosemary ;_;

that’s so fucking depressing like you abandoned your family and it bought them like 3 days max 

i think it’s a little weird that tessa now has some of kit’s mother’s memories and is adopting him but also i guess it’s kinda nice? 

both jem and tessa have actually almost died searching for you, kit, and i don’t think either regret a single thing they did to lead themselves to you

jem and tessa are in LOVE and they’re having a BABY

The Lost World

JEM AND TESSA ARE IN LOVE AND THEY’RE HAVING A BABY

ty u really did fuck up didn’t u

but he’s got a pet now so that’s nice

livvy ;_; 

i really hope they find a way to release her in twp 

i don’t think ty wants it, but things will come to a head. she’s not happy as a ghost. 

kit and ty are so fucking dumb just talk to each other!!

it’s so fitting that kit gave them the heron pendant

both in a sense of continuity and in the complexities of his feelings - on one hand it belonged to his mother, someone cared very much about him but on the other, it failed to save her

Forever Fallen

i ship kit with a family that loves him

jem just talks to him and is just internally like ‘wtf has everyone in your life done wrong’ 

jem and tessa: you are WORTHY and DESERVING of LOVE, BITCH! 

i want all of the domestic herondale-carstairs family 

i think i read the scene where jem and tessa put all of their stuff in kit’s room like 10 times it had me so shook 

“WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE MORE PRECIOUS TO US THAN YOU” 

WE STAN SUPPORTIVE PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Janus is as annoying as real jace 

lily be safe bby ily this is gonna end baaaaad 

the scene at the end where jem tells kit that where there is love there is no need for gratitude also has me shook bc we’ve been talking about this a lot in my spanish class, about how so many of us are trained to be complacent and to show gratitude for things that should be a given

Overall, I really enjoyed the book even though some parts bored me and I kinda skimmed through. I’m reading Girls of Paper and Fire now, so we’ll see when I finish that! 

#ghosts of the shadow market #gotsm #cassandra clare #readtoroll #read to roll #readathon #booklr