Yoongi + ârunaway brideâ Iâmma leave this one up to your interpretation bc I know Iâll love it either way and also wanna see what you come up with đ
oooooooh!!! v excited by this prompt, lol. this is, um, going to hurt kind of a lot at the beginning, but stick with me!!!! also, i accidentally made this >3.3k wordsâŠ.. which i will proofread when i am no longer exhausted đ€Ș
the one with yoongi and the fucking hydrangeas
ft. POV shift, pining & correlating angst, reader whoâsđ” a runner sheâs a track star đ”, a #nonspon vans product placement, a very unfortunate namjoon (sorry, buddy,) childhood idiots in love
Yoongi sat in a seat chosen specifically for him not because he wanted to, but because he knew how much time youâd sacrificed in writing every place card by hand.
To be clear, heâd never wanted to attend this rehearsal dinner in the first place. Unfortunately, he knew the stakes. That wasnât something heâd dare to say out loud â especially not to you. Not in that restaurant while you fluttered between tables and shined your warm light on every single guest, one by one. Not ever, because youâd slipped through Yoongiâs fingers the second Namjoon slid that ring on yours.
If, in twelve hoursâ time, Yoongi could force his deflated body out of bed, heâd have to watch quietly while you got away for good.
There was nothing he could do about it, either, so he swallowed that grief with a mouthful of bibim nengmyun. He knew it wasnât the food that tasted so bitter on his tongue; however, on the off-chance that it was, he followed suit with another ill-advised swig of makgeolli.
During the two subsequent hours he sat and stewed at that table, Yoongi had lost count of just how many glasses heâd had. His eyes never lingered on the bottle, sticking instead to you and the smile that didnât seem to spread beyond the curve of your lips. Every now and then, youâd glance his way â and every time you did, there was a microscopic twinge at the corner of your mouth.
It felt like a signal, something cryptic, but he wasnât in the proper headspace to begin making assumptions. For the first time ever, youâd hit Yoongi with a look he didnât know what to do with, and that fact drove him insane. This was what he was afraid of, after all â that the invisible string between you would be re-routed to someone else, and the telepathic link youâd always shared would disappear with it.
Your friendship had started early because your respective mothers had grown up together, and found each other once again as adults with two kids each. Back then, both of your front teeth were missing and â if Yoongi made you laugh too hard at routine, weekend gatherings â banana milk would occasionally fly out through the gap. He was nine-years-old and had no concept of it, but now he knows that he loved you then.
He loved you when you were ten, and you kneed a classmate in the dick for bullying Yoongi on the basketball court. You were two years younger and half his size, but you were a force to be reckoned with.
He loved you when you were fourteen, and a wave of brand new hormones made you a little bit of a fucking nightmare to be around.
At seventeen, twenty-one, still.
Now.
There, while everyone around him clinked their chopsticks against their glasses and Namjoon accepted the crowdâs wordless demand that he kiss you.
Yoongi had done well enough with your previous relationships. None of them made him feel like this, though, and heâd spent two years unable to put his finger on why. Sandwiched at that carefully chosen table between his mother and older brother, it finally clicked: None of them ever threatened to last.
Yoongi had never been a particularly hopeful person, but buried deep in the back of his brain, there had always been a crumb of it. Part of him, however stupid, thought youâd end up together at a dinner like this. All of this was the last nail in the coffin, the alarm clock screaming that it was time to wake up.
Suddenly more nauseous than heâd ever been before, Yoongi scooted his chair back so abruptly that it scraped along the floorboards. Just as quickly, he got to his feet and made a beeline for the exit. Of all the heads that turned to watch him leave, yours was the only one he noticed in his peripheral vision. He could feel your eyes on his back â pictured how confused you must look â and it only made his stomach acid churn faster.
When he finally made it out to the patio behind the restaurant, Yoongiâs suspicions were confirmed: closed for the season. Fitting. He wasnât in the mood to heed the signs, so he stepped carefully â one leg at a time â over the hip-high metal gate and gulped down sharp, late autumn air. As he did, he begged himself to get his shit together for you, if not for him.
He spent several minutes out there, maybe even hours, sitting on a bare, metal chair and glowering out at the trees at the edge of the property. He hated himself, he realized, for how easily he wasted time. Let it slip by unnoticed while he stood still.
The clock seemed to mock him, ticking faster from behind him as if time was going to outrun him again.
At least, that was his first guess.
Yoongi quickly learned that the clicks werenât signaling the passing seconds; they were broadcasting the urgent beat of stilettos on brick. So, having figured that his mother had appeared outside to gun him down, Yoongi glanced over his shoulder and braced himself for the be-all, end-all of scoldings.
What he got instead was you and the undeserved concern that caused your eyebrows to furrow.
âAre you okay?â You asked quietly once you reached the gate. With your manicured hands on the cold metal, you shivered, but you didnât seem to notice. âDid you eat too much of the gochujang? I definitely did, and now Iâll be up all night with heartburn.â
Yoongi felt as though heâd been punched in the chest. The memory caught him in a riptide, beat him bloody against the rocks because he couldâve sworn he was sixteen again, stacking old encyclopedias under the headboard of your bed. Heâd read somewhere online that, while sitting upright in a chair can exacerbate reflux, sleeping at an angle could help.
He was dizzy when he blinked back at you and saw your lips moving. He had to focus hard to figure out what you were saying.
âYou remember that?â
Yoongi struggled to even out his breathing; he had no hope at all of finding the plot heâd lost. âHuh?â
You grinned and it made up for all the stars that had been hidden by grey clouds overhead. âThe encyclopedias,â you chuckled, âThey worked, you know.â
Yoongi didnât mean to say it. He knew it before, during, and after it slipped out of his mouth that it was the worst goddamn thing heâd ever done, but he couldnât stop himself â couldnât shove the bullet heâd shot back into the gun. With the way it exploded through his chest â I love you â he was surprised that his body was still intact. No viscera sprayed out from the exit wound, no stains appeared on your chic, white cocktail dress.
You opened your mouth but closed it soon after, so clearly stunned by his unsolicited admission that you couldnât find the words. Yoongi had no expectations whatsoever when it came down to your reaction because he hadnât meant to provoke one in the first place. Even still, the wounded look on your face was worse than anything he mightâve imagined.
The two of you stood in tense silence for so long that Yoongiâs soul had nearly ejected itself fully from his body.
âThatâs not fair,â eventually came your shaky reply. You clenched your fist tight around the top of the gate to anchor yourself and stammered, âYoongi, that is not â Why would you ââ
As soon as he aimed to take a step in your direction, your shock gave way to a scowl that couldâve boiled him alive.
âWhy would you dump that at my feet? Tonight, of all fucking nights, Yoongi â seriously?â You snapped, though it sounded like a sob. âWhat am I supposed to do with this now?â
Now?
He didnât know how to respond. He was paralyzed, inside and out, and he deserved it. Who the fuck was he, forcing the burden of his feelings onto you?
Selfish. Stupid. Out of time, as usual.
The makeup you always took so much time on started to run alongside your tears. Yoongi had seen you cry before, though heâd always been the reason you stopped, rather than started. He hated every single one of those muddied, black tears because he knew you. He knew you would have worn waterproof mascara if youâd had any reason to anticipate crying on your special night.
âIâm getting married in the morning!â
Your reminder was a dagger flying out of your mouth, sticking him right between the ribs. It stung as images flooded his mind â of you and Namjoon, your guests, and your out-of-season, imported fucking hydrangeas. It hurt even worse to see how badly you shook as you glared at him.
âYoongi â fuck!â
Before you walked away, your eyes locked on his for a fraction of a second. In that moment, Yoongi promised himself that it was the last time youâd ever have to see his face.
When you were little, you pictured your wedding day like a moment ripped straight out of Cinderella. In your head, youâd wake up to birds singing at your window and mice scurrying around your feet, eager to dress you in a gown of epic and magical proportions. Itâd be perfect. For years, youâd been sure of it.
In reality, there was no waking up because there hadnât been a single second of sleep to begin with. No beauty rest, no sweet dreams of marital bliss â just you, feeling as if youâd swallowed a car battery. It sat heavy in the pit of your stomach, let acid burn all the way up to your esophagus. And itâd been all too easy to toss and turn in your hotel bed, which laid perfectly level on top of a plush, floral rug.
You crawled out of bed without the assistance of altruistic rodents and shuffled your dead weight over to the mirror hanging on the opposite wall. For once, your imagination had been accurate. Your puffy eyes were red in the aftermath of all your tears. They ached above circles so deep and dark that they wouldâve alarmed you if you hadnât expected them.
Namjoon had seen you at what you both believed to be your worst. Neither of you couldâve ever predicted that the Corpse Bride would be the one staggering down the aisle towards him. Heâd love you anyway, you knew it, no matter how you looked. But if he knew what you spent all night toiling overâŠ
You shook your head and abruptly turned away from the mirror. There were several of your dearest friends bustling around the room next to yours, all of whom were waiting on you. Swallowing hard, you headed for the adjoining door and promised yourself that the only person youâd let down today would be you.
You lost all track of time when a blur of hands went to work on you. If youâd closed your eyes while you dissociated, you couldâve pretended that your assistants were those woodland creatures you used to dream about. But you couldnât close your eyes, couldnât sleep through this part, couldnât let your mind wander all the way back to that patio.
Itâd been terrifying, staring your own heart in the face like that. More than anything, it was confusing because it didnât look like you expected it would â not like an organ at all, but a person. Youâd gotten so good at ignoring it that you couldnât reasonably expect yourself to recognize it. It knew you, though, and loved you. Apparently, it always had.
As you sat in that hotel room, far away from the patio, you pictured every other moment you wished Yoongi had said what he did. The thousand times youâd thought for sure he felt the same, and all the ways you distracted yourself when you resigned to believing he didnât. Every person you dated until you finally managed to move on â
ââ please, love?â
You blinked rapidly to force your eyes to focus. In front of you, your mother stood with a knowing smile on her face and a sokchima in her hands. You didnât need to ask her to repeat herself; you took the hint and rose slowly to your feet.
âI was nervous on my wedding day,â she hummed as she pulled the undergarment gently over your head. âHungover, too, but your grandmother does not need to know that. Frankly, Iâm surprised she couldnât tell with how bloated I was when she helped me get readyâŠâ
The bright scarlet chima followed without so much as a word from you. Your heart slammed helplessly against your rib cage when your mother proceeded to tug the sleeves of your jeogori up your arms. This moment should be special, you thought bitterly. All you wanted to do was cry; to apologize to your mother for your total inability to care while your wedding happened around you, not for you.
Soon enough, you were dressed. Your friends and older sister gushed about how beautiful you looked â the perfect bride â like you werenât caught in the web of an anxiety attack. Like it wasnât all wrong, and you werenât dangling on the precipice of your lifeâs greatest mistake. Like you hadnât spent so much of your hard-earned money on invitations and greenhouse-grown, special-ordered fucking hydrangeas.
Like you could catch a fucking breath under all the layers of your hanbok.
Sensing that a moment alone was necessary, your mother kissed your cheek and ushered the others out the door ahead of her. Before seeing herself out, too, she stalled in the threshold, turned back around to look at you, and exhaled through a pause.
âI left your shoes by the dresser,â she chirped.
The gentleness of her tone was reassuring, but there was a faint gleam in her eyes that caught your attention. Before you could ask after it, she nodded firmly once and let the door click shut behind her.
Alone again, your instinct was to do the same thing youâd spent ten consecutive hours doing â burying yourself under pillows and crying until you ran out of tears. But you had run out, which was precisely was the problem. You had no options left, nothing left to do but lean in.
At least, that was your first guess.
Your list of choices expanded by one when you saw the well-worn pair of slip-on Vans your mother had set out for you.
Yoongi sat on the edge of his bed with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands.
Only two meters away, a garment bag hung from the hook on the back of his bedroom door. That bag â and the crisp, black suit it concealed â lingered there for weeks in the shadows, untouched since the day he bought it. Even though it hadnât left its hanger, he felt it smothering him throughout the night. It choked him while one thought ran circles in his sleep-deprived brain:
The reason he bought it was the same reason heâd never be able to wear it.
Sick of the way heâd trapped himself with his thoughts, Yoongi pushed himself to his feet and crossed over to the door. With the way he flung it open, knob slamming against the wall, heâd likely never recover his security deposit. It felt good, though, taking his grief out on that godforsaken suit.
On his way to his front door, Yoongi stopped short. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a cabinet he hadnât opened in weeks. As he stared at it, the devil and angel on his shoulders warred over the action he wanted so desperately to take.
Sure, heâd recently â finally â quit at your insistence, but what did that matter now?
He gritted his teeth and shook his conscience off his shoulders with a shrug. Within seconds, Yoongi was on the other side of his kitchen, grabbing an unopened pack of cigarettes and the lighter that lay in wait next to it. He closed his hand tight around it so he couldnât see the Hello Kitty stickers youâd placed all over the plastic; your attempt to dissuade him from using it in public.
Jokeâs on you, he thought as he placed a cigarette between his lips, your plan backfired. Leaving your mark on it the way you had was the only thing thatâd kept him from throwing it away â and the only reason he still had a lighter to use at all.
Yoongi opened his front door with one hand as he tried to ignite the lighter with the other. No matter how many time he flicked the pad of his thumb over those little metal ridges, nothing sparked. Defeated yet again, he slumped down onto the porch swing, closed his eyes, and willed himself not to break down over something so stupid.
He had no way of knowing how much time passed as he sat like that. He had no way to tell who those urgent footfalls belonged to, either. That is, not until panted breaths hit his ears and prompted him to open his eyes.
Admittedly, Yoongi had pictured you in your bridal hanbok more than once throughout the years. Half the time, it hadnât even been purposeful. From first to third grade, youâd rambled to him about your dream wedding on your daily walks home from school. You spoke about it so often, in fact, that even he started thinking about what embroidery a mouse might add to the hem of your chima.
As the pair of you got older, you brought it up less, so Yoongi didnât think about it often. The image crept up on him, though, once in a while. Every time you brought him as a plus one to your friendsâ weddings because you didnât want to dance alone; and he nearly told you that heâd always want to be your partner.
Or that time you cried through your worst ever heartbreak on his couch, lamented that youâd die an old maid, and never get to wear one.
Even as recently as last night, when he drank half a fifth of whiskey and grieved over the fact that heâd never get to see you wear one.
He couldnât make heads or tails of the real thing, not with the way youâd doubled over to catch your breath; and bunched the ends up in your fists, presumably to prevent yourself from tripping as you â ran here?
âWhat did I tell you about the cigarettes?â You puffed, still with your hands on your knees and your face angled at the sidewalk.
Somehow, despite running five kilometers to Yoongiâs doorstep, you hadnât displaced a single hair from your artfully crafted up-do. Your makeup hadnât budged, either, which meant that the only sign of your expended effort was the tint of pink on your cheeks and the tip of your nose.
Youâd outrun his train of thought in your scuffed, old Vans. Yoongi had to buffer for a moment in order to catch up, but the involuntary smile fighting its way over his mouth didnât bother to wait. Eventually, he recited your long-suffering appeal, smirking all the while, âTheyâll fuck me up, and Iâll have to be wheeled out onto the basketball court in an iron lung.â
âExactly.â
With one last, deep breath, you returned to your upright position. The second you did, Yoongi was the one choking up.
Rapid blinking did nothing to stop the tears pricking at the inner corners of his eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat to the best of his ability, but he couldnât shake the inexplicable flutter in his chest at the sight of you. Youâd always been perfect, but this was â
âOh, my god,â he croaked, thoroughly melted from the inside out.
Yoongi stood before his brain could signal his legs to do so; or remind his hands not to drop the phone, lighter, and cigarettes heâd been holding. His eyes, on the other hand, knew exactly what to do. He drank in your appearance like heâd spent the last twenty-two years wandering, dehydrated in the desert â and in a way, he had.
You blinked back at him with swimming eyes as if youâd found sanctuary, too. Suddenly aware of what you were gripping, you opened your fists and let the fabric flutter down to the ground. While smoothing out wrinkles that didnât exist, you asked softly, âNot bad for a bunch of mice, right?â
âLook just like a dream,â he replied just as gently.
Yoongiâs hands, which were thankfully now free, reached out and grabbed yours. You followed his lead as he spun you, twirled under his raised arm until you ended up with your face mere centimeters from his.
âYoongi,â you breathed. Your eyes danced from his, to his lips, and back again. âIf you wait another twenty-two years to tell me how you feel, please pick a time and place that is mutually convenient. I swear to God, Iâll ââ
It came out much more easily the second time than the first; and when it did, it felt more like a beginning than a bomb:
âI love you.â
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đFujoGuide Spotlight #3: Zine Demođ
With the cast spotlights out of the way (find the links at the end of the thread), today we want to focus on the actual product we'll be putting in everyone's hands: our Version Control zine.
If you're just joining us, you can get this zine in your eager fujin hands (and help us reach our stretch goals) by backing us on Kickstarter.
If you want to follow along with the demo, you can find it here as a PDF.
Before we go into the nitty-gritty details, we chose Version Control as our first topic because, while working with both beginner and experienced coders, they reported it as the most life-changing (but intimidating) skill they gained. It also helps them join open-source projects!
Keep reading for lots more!
Remember: all you see here is a work in progress, and things may and will change in the zine. Our campaign is a love-letter to Japanese productions like otome games and "cast full of hot boys" anime. Similarly, our zine calls back to Japanese fan productions, a.k.a. doujinshi.
As you likely noticed, we pride ourselves on committing to the bit. This zine is no different. For example, Boba-tan, pitched as the revolutionary brain behind our educational devices, is both its fictional author and protagonist. After all, who doesn't love a good self-insert?
After this, the zine follows a simple pattern: a comic explains the current plight of our protagonist, a new character/technology is introduced, and then we dive deeper into concrete examples of how the technology is used in a practical workflow. We keep it light but useful!
Let's show, not tell! Behold, our first comic by @tempural (đš) and @essential-randomness (đ)! Boba-tan, deadline quickly approaching, manages to wreck her website! #relatable
Fear not! Terminal has a simple solution, which we fully endorse: Boba-tan, meet Git! (bonus HTML cameo đ)
Next is Gitâs character introduction featuring @brokemycrown's amazing art. This page serves a double purpose: it adds depth to the character (and some laughs), but most importantly it's a memorable way to help the core concept immediately stick in the reader's brain.
And now we finally reach the core of our offering, that is our actual educational material. The current version (remember, a work in progress) was planned by @essential-randomness, written by @enigmalea, and reviewed by our technical writing consultant wiredferret.
After the campaign, we plan to work closely with backers to deliver material that truly works. But while the content is in flux, you can see the landmarks of our experience: simple explanations that don't shy away from the technical details, with hot men sprinkled all around!
Fun fact: we also used Git & GitHub to collaborate on the zine itself! Thanks to Vivliostyle's powerful tools for typesetting with code, @essential-randomness and @enigmalea were able to use the techniques we're teaching to iterate together without stepping on each other's toes!
And that is all for today! We hope you're now even more excited for this guide to soon be reality. Although we hit our initial goal (đđđ) we still have many stretch goals to go. Help us smash through them in this final week by backing us at our Kickstarter page.
If you missed the previous spotlights and wish to learn more about our characters in the Localhost HQ and Browserland spotlights.
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