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Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 146

warnings: dual pov hmh masterlist

I haven’t seen my girls face-to-face in three days now, and it’s been killing me! This is the first time I’ve been away from them and it’s been really tough. I haven’t been away from Ronan since she’s been born, and the last time I was away from Y/N was before we were even married. I hope they’ll be as excited to see me as I am to see them.

I went up to the lake house to help Jimmy get some final touches done to it since we’re having Dan’s birthday party there this weekend with the family. It was fun to hang out with Jimmy and just have some good laughs, but I have to admit that I miss my girls so much.

Looking to my left, I wave at Jimmy as he pulls into his driveway, then I make my way up mine and smile when I see Bleu in the yard sleeping underneath the shade of a tree. He perks up when he hears my car, then he runs over to greet me as I get out.

“Hey, boy,” I smile, patting his side.

Bleu runs to the door and wags his tail as he waits for me, and I laugh quietly. He always wants to show me where the girls are. I open the door and watch as he walks inside, and I look up and smile when I see Y/N running from out of the kitchen.

“Hi, hi, hi!” she runs over to me and jumps into my arms as we kiss, and I hug her tight as she wraps her legs around my waist, “Oh my god! I missed you!”

“I missed you too!” I smile as I hug her, then I lean back and look at her, “God, you definitely got more beautiful while I was gone.”

Y/N scoffs, then she leans forward to kiss me as I carry her to the couch. I sit down with her straddling my waist as we kiss, and I let out a content sigh when she buries her face in the crook of neck. I rub my hands up and down her sides, then I smile when she sits back in my lap and looks at me.

“I missed you,” she whispers, cupping my face as she holds my gaze.

“I missed you too,” I kiss her palm, then I watch as she sits on the couch, “How have things been here? Bug’s sleeping?”

Y/N nods as she reaches for my hand, “Things have been good! Bug went down for her nap just a little bit ago. When you called and said you were on your way home, I was trying to keep her awake until you got here, but I left her for two minutes so I could pee and came back out to see her zonked on the floor.”

I laugh quietly, “That’s okay. Has she been good? I know we FaceTimed but I didn’t get to talk to you much yesterday since we were both busy.”

“She was really good! I had a girl’s day yesterday. Tess and I went to Amanda’s house, but we brought the kids. With Ro’s separation anxiety, I didn’t want to leave her with someone else, but she really didn’t give a shit whether I was there or not because she got to play with her friends.” Y/N says as we laugh, then she nods, “But she’s been really good. She slept in bed with me though. I hate that you weren’t here.”

“I know,” I nod as I relax back on the couch and prop my feet up on the coffee table, “I think the last time I was away from you was…I actually can’t remember.”

Y/N tilts her head as she thinks, “It was before we got married. Italy? No, not then. I showed up at the hotel. Holy shit, when was it?”

“Oh! I remember,” I say as I look at her, “Right before I proposed. When I went to your mom’s house to talk to her.”

“Oh my god, that was like…” Y/N looks around with wide eyes, “Almost two years ago.”

I chuckle as I look at her, “We haven’t slept without one another for almost two years.”

“Sick of me yet?”

“Nope, just getting even more obsessed,” I laugh as I lean over to kiss her, “I wish you would have come with me, to be honest.”

Y/N smiles as she nods, “Me too.”

“You had your girl’s night though. You deserved to have some fun, and I hope you did.”

“I did,” she nods, then she shrugs, “But I missed you. I missed you snoring in bed.”

I laugh as I playfully shove her arm, then I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her over to sit with me, “You had a good time with your friends though?”

“I did, we just had some food and drinks, had some chats about our annoying husbands, then I came home.” she says, and I chuckle when she smirks at me, “Nah, I gushed about you as usual. What’s new, right? What did you and Jimmy do?”

“Talked about our amazing wives and children.” I say, and she smiles at me, “We had the A/C fixed at the lake house and got a few other things done. I completely fixed up our room and bathroom downstairs. The bathroom just needed some final touches, then I got Ronan’s room done too. We just need to bring the crib we bought for there.”

“I’m excited to see it.” she says, then she snuggles into my arms as she leans her head on my chest.

We sit in silence together for a few moments, and I smile when she tilts her head up to look at me. I lean down to kiss her a few times while we have childless time together, then I start to smile when I hear Ronan crying.

“Go get her, she’ll be so happy to see you.” she whispers, and I lean down to kiss her before I get up from the couch.

I smile as I head upstairs to Ronan’s room and slowly push the door open, and Ronan juts her bottom lip out as she cries, one large tear coming from her left eye. I smile as I walk over to turn off her noise machine and to open the curtains, then I reach out for her as she cries.

“Why are you cryin’?” I whisper to her as I bounce her in my arms, and she leans her back to look at me, “Hi.”

Ronan still has her bottom lip jutted out as she looks at me for a moment, then she scratches her fingers against my beard before smiling wide and leaning against my chest. I hold her tight in my arms for a few moments before I walk over to put her on the changing table and get her out of this rank diaper.

“Hey, peach…”

“Yeah?”

I pick up Ronan and walk to the door to look at Y/N in the living room, “Do you want me to put her into something different?”

“Uh, just some different pajamas.” she says, shrugging, “Thought we’d just order something for dinner while we packed.”

“Sounds good.” I nod. I start to set Ronan down so I can grab some new pajamas but she just kicks her legs and starts to cry, so I hold her with one arm as I open her drawer, “Did you miss me?”

Ronan kicks her legs and babbles, and I feel the drool sliding down my arm as I hold her. I grab out some pajamas for her, then I carry her downstairs. Y/N looks over at us as we come down, and she smiles when Ronan squeals loudly.

“Did you miss dada?” she asks, which prompts Ronan to start kicking her legs wildly as she squeals.

I kiss Ronan’s cheek when I sit down with her in my lap, then with Y/N’s help, we quickly get her pajamas on. I reach for a toy that is on the coffee table, and Y/N and I completely disappear from Ronan’s sight when the toy is presented to her.

“Chopped liver now.” I say, relaxing back on the couch.

“Yeah, join the club.” Y/N jokes, then she smiles at me, “I just thought pizza or something would be good. I didn’t do any laundry or cleaning while you were gone, I won’t lie.”

I laugh as I look around, “The house looks fine.”

“I’m a pig when you’re not here.” she laughs, and I nudge her arm and shake my head.

“No, you’re not.” I laugh, then I sit up and look over at Ronan. I lean over and kiss her cheek, and she holds up her toy to show me, “Think she’ll crawl soon?”

Y/N hums as she thinks, then she shrugs, “I would assume so. She sits on her own, and this weekend I saw her doing the rocking back and forth thing, so I would assume she’ll start crawling within the next few weeks.”

I look down at Ronan and laugh as she ‘sings’ and makes noise, and I kiss the top of her head and pull her into my lap. I hold her up so she can stand on my legs, but she wiggles around and babbles nonsense loudly.

“You sure you’re ready for a road trip with us?”

“I am very ready,” I smile as I look over at Y/N, and she leans down to kiss me, “Can’t wait to spend the weekend up there.”

Y/N smiles as she holds up Ronan next to her face, “Us too!”

The car ride up to the lake house wasn’t bad since you waited until Ronan would be down for a nap. She slept the whole way there and only woke up about 10 minutes before you arrived. She’s currently sitting in the highchair waiting for John to get her some food, and she squealing loudly and babbling to everyone walking past.

Since John is getting Ronan fed, you decided to go downstairs to set up the crib in Ronan’s room. John is coming down to help as soon as he gets Ronan some food.

You smile as you look at Ronan’s room, and you walk over and check out the view from the window. Last time you were here, this room wasn’t even here, but Jimmy thought it would be a good idea to knock down the wall and put in a bedroom for Ronan, so that’s what he did this winter. It looks really good, and it’s nice that Ronan can be downstairs with you and John when you go to bed rather than being upstairs.

“Hey…” John smiles as he walks into the room, then he gestures, “What do you think?”

“I love it! I love the cute little plants all over and how it ties into our room,” you say, then you reach up to touch the cute little fuzzy pink deer head, “I love this.”

John chuckles, “Thought it was kind of ironic seeing as we don’t hunt.”

“It’s cute.” you laugh, then you reach for his hands and smile at him, “Thanks for doing this. If she could talk, she’d tell you that she loves this.”

“I think so,” he nods as he looks around, then he points at the toys, “I got her some new stuff that she might like too.”

Y/N looks up at me and smiles as she nods, “She’ll love it.”

I lean down and cup her face as I kiss her, and she wraps her arms around my waist as we make out for a few rare uninterrupted minutes. Y/N tilts her head to the side as I slide my tongue into her mouth, and I smile when she reaches down to grope me over my pants.

“Hey, hey, hey…” I laugh as she slouches and juts her bottom lip out, “Tonight, what do you say?”

“Yes!” she smiles wide as she nods, then she throws her arms around my neck and kisses me as I hold her and carry her in my arms back to our room.

“Hey,” Tess calls out downstairs, “Ronan keeps doing some thing to me, but I don’t know what it means.”

I laugh as I take Y/N’s hand and head upstairs, then we walk into the kitchen and see Ronan sitting in her highchair. I furrow my brow as I walk closer, then I watch as Ronan signs that she wants more food.

“She’s signing,” Y/N smiles proudly, “John has been teaching her some basic signs.”

“That’s amazing,” Bev smiles.

Y/N walks over and cuts the other half of the banana into small pieces, then she places them on Ronan’s tray, and Ronan wastes no time when she sees. She stuffs banana into her mouth and gets it all over her face, but she’s so damn happy to be eating.

“She knows the signs for ‘more’, ‘dad’, ‘mom’, and ‘food’, of course.” Y/N smiles as she looks at me, “Our little smarty pants.”

I smile when I look at Ronan with banana all over her, then I grab a napkin to wipe it off, “I read that it helps your baby communicate and keeps their frustration low.”

Bev nods, “That makes sense. Babies can’t always communicate verbally what’s going on.”

I shrug, “And she hasn’t said her first word yet, so I figured I’d teach her.”

“She’ll start talking soon, Jonathan.” Bev smiles, squeezing my arm.

“Watch this. Ro, where is dada?” Y/N asks, signing ‘dad’, then she points around the room, “Hmm, hmm, hmm, where is dada?”

Ronan looks at Y/N and smiles, then she only signs ‘dad’ as Ronan looks around. Ronan looks at me and smiles, then she smacks her hands on the tray and screeches happily.

“Good job!” I smile as I lean down to kiss her, “She’s a smart little bug.”

I clean up the tray and Ronan’s face, then I take off her bib and set her down so she can play with Finn. He crawls over to her with some of his toys, and I smile when I see him hold up one to show her. Ronan bounces in place and giggles as Finn plays with her, and she squeals loudly when he imitates a plane engine.

Leaning back against the counter, I smile as I watch my beautiful baby girl grinning like the happiest baby on the planet.

Standing on the sun deck, I look out at the water as the sun goes down and I take a moment to think about how much my life has changed. It’s something that is always on my mind, but today has been so good that I have to take an extra moment to really be grateful for how far I’ve come.

If someone would have told me years ago that I would meet the most wonderful woman who would change my life, I would have never believed them. I never in a million years would think I would be married to an incredible woman who is everything that I could ever want. She’s smart, kind, understanding, so damn sexy, and just beautiful inside and out. The fact that we haven’t lost the spark between us as well is pretty amazing. Not that I ever think we will, I’m crazy about her.

I can’t imagine my life without Y/N, and I certainly couldn’t imagine my life without Ronan. Being a dad wasn’t something that I thought I’d ever be, so I’m so grateful to Y/N for giving me the opportunity. I just hope I’m doing a good job.

“Hey, cutie…” Y/N smiles as she walks up to the sundeck, “Come here often?”

I look over at her and smile as I stand up to allow her to stand in front of me. I wrap my arms around her waist and bury my face in the crook of her neck, and she pulls my arms around her tighter.

“Ro is down?”

“She is,” she nods, then she looks at me and smiles, “What are you doing up here?”

I shrug as I look out at the water, “Just thinking.”

“Well, come on, Wick, fill me in!” she laughs, and I kiss her cheek before I stand next to her.

“Today has been great, hasn’t it?” I say, and she laughs as she furrows her brow a little. “Every now and then, I just start to think about how much my life has changed since we met.”

Y/N turns to face me, then she leans against the railing, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nod, then I shrug as I look out at the sun setting, “It’s days like these where I think about how far I’ve come, everything I went through…”

“You went through a lot. Ya know, not many people can say they literally fought like hell for their life and mean it. They mean it metaphorically, but I know it better than anyone how literal it is. I see it every time we’re in bed,” she whispers as she reaches over and touches the scars on my arms and chest, “I see the hell you went through, and I’m grateful that you’re so damn stubborn sometimes because you could have easily complied and said ‘you know what, I give up’, but you didn’t. You kept fighting. You kept fighting because you knew there was a better life out there for you.”

I let out a small laugh as I stand up straight and look over at her, “You know, you’re really good at these talks.”

“Well,” she rolls her eyes playfully as she shuffles in place, “I learned from the best.”

“I’ve just been thinking all day about how amazing my life has been since you came into it. You’ve made me a better man, and I’ll always be grateful for that.” I say, and she smiles with tears in her eyes, “You made me a husband again, and now you’ve made me a father. I can’t thank you enough for allowing me this opportunity.”

Y/N scoffs a little as she looks away and wipes the tears off her cheek, “John…”

“I mean it,” I reach over for her and hold her gaze, “I don’t thank you enough.”

“Because you don’t need to.” she whispers, and I shake my head. “Just waking up and seeing that you’re still there in the morning is enough. I mean sometimes Ro and I can be a handful.”

I shake my head as we both laugh, then I lean down to kiss her, “I’m not going anywhere. You and Ronan mean everything to me, and I mean it when I say I can’t function without you two. Those three days without my girls were rough. It gave me a glimpse as to what it would be like if I didn’t have you two in a way, and I hated it. I hated not feeling your body next to me in the night. I hate not waking up and bringing Ro into bed just to snuggle for a little bit. I hated not having you around.”

Y/N smiles as she looks up at me, then she cups my face and stand on her tiptoes to kiss me. I wrap my arms around her tight and deepen the kiss, then I kiss down her cheek to her neck before holding her for a few moments.

“Thank you for coming into my life and giving me all the things I never knew I wanted,” I whisper, and she tilts her head back and looks at me, “I love you more than I’ll ever able to express.”

“You’re so cute,” she whispers as she rubs her thumb against my cheek, then she leans up to kiss me, “I love you too.”

I hold her hand as I walk over to sit on the couch, and I smile when she sits next to me and puts her right leg over my lap, “It’s beautiful out here.”

“It’s a really nice night.” she nods, then she smiles at me, “Jimmy is going to start a bonfire in bit.”

“Sounds good.”

Y/N clears her throat a little as she shifts in place, then she looks at me and smiles softly, which causes me to grow concerned. Something is…off.

“What’s going on?” I ask, and she furrows her brow. “Come on, I know you. You got that little crinkle in your forehead. You’re thinking about something.”

“Uh, well, I…” she tilts her head back and groans as she looks at the sky, then she looks over at me, “I…god!”

I laugh as I hold her hand, “You can do it, baby.”

Y/N takes a deep breath and looks at me, “I think…I might be pregnant.”

I immediately sit up and look at her, “What?”

“Yeah,” she bites her lip nervously and nods, then she looks down at her hands and shrugs, “I haven’t gotten my period yet. It’s a few days late.”

I look down at my lap for a moment while we’re both silent, and I let everything run through my head.

We want more children but Ronan isn’t even a year old yet. We don’t want kids this close in age, and I know that we want to just stay the three of us for a little while longer before we add another member to the family. How the hell am I going to tell her that I don’t think we should have another baby yet?

I look up when I hear Y/N sniffle, and I move closer to her, “Don’t cry.”

“I just…I don’t want to be pregnant right now. I like just being a little family of three, and I’m just now starting to feel better about things. I’m finally feeling like I got this whole mom thing in the bag. I don’t want to be pregnant right now.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Y/N looks at me and shrugs, “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings--”

“Hey, I agree with you wholeheartedly.” I nod, and she smiles a little. “I love it just being the three of us. I love the way things are going. I don’t want another baby right now either. We’re still getting used to how things are with Ro.”

“Yeah,” she nods as I reach over to wipe the tear off her cheek. “I just finally got my body back. I finally feel like myself again. I’m not ready to share it again.”

I nod as I hold her gaze, “I know. I don’t blame you.”

“So…” she exhales as she looks at me, “Wanna come with me to take the test?”

I perk up as I look at her, “You bought some?”

“Before you got home the other day. I was too nervous to tell you.” she says, and I intertwine my fingers with hers and pull her up from the couch.

We hold hands as we walk inside, and I see Tess give her a wink. Of course Tess probably already knows what’s happening. I wouldn’t put it past these two. I’m glad that she had someone to talk to while I was gone.

Y/N heads downstairs and walks straight to her bag to get out the pregnancy tests, then she opens it while she walks to the bathroom. I let out a small laugh when she immediately sits on the toilet and sticks the test between her legs, then I lean against the door frame and look down to give her privacy.

“Okay,” she sighs as she flushes the toilet and washes her hands. She puts a piece of toilet paper over the test so neither of us peek, then she crosses her arms and looks at me. “I feel like I need to say this: I’ll be happy if we are.”

“I know,” I nod, then I gesture to myself, “Me too.”

Y/N holds my gaze, then she chuckles, “I just don’t want to be.”

“Yeah, same.” I laugh, reaching out for her hand, “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

A few moments pass as we stand there, and I smile when she looks up at me but I furrow my brow a little when I remember that she’s on birth control.

“I already know what you’re about to ask,” she laughs, and I start to smile, “I haven’t been taking it. It’s just so annoying to remember to take a pill, okay?”

I laugh as I lean over to kiss her, “I understand.”

“I have an appointment Monday, so I’m going to ask Doctor Mendez what I can I do instead because being a new mom causes me to forget to eat half the time, how am I meant to remember to take a pill?”

“Makes sense.” I nod, then I look over when the timer goes off. I walk over to wrap my arm around her shoulder and hold her close to my chest, and we both lean in to kiss one another before I pull the tissue from over the test. “Oh, thank god.”

Not pregnant.

Y/N leans against my chest and laughs, “I’ve never been more nervous.”

“Me too.” I laugh, then I lean back to look at her, “You’re sure you’re happy with those results?”

“Yes, very happy.”

I smile as I lean down to kiss her, “Because if you wanted a different result, I can always help with that.”

Y/N laughs as she tosses the test into the garbage, then she takes my hand and walks to Ronan’s room, quietly pushing the door open so we can check on her. We both tiptoe over to the crib and peek over to look at Ronan, and I wrap my arm around Y/N’s shoulder and kiss her head.

Ronan’s chunky little cheeks are a little red, so Y/N turns the little fan on to cool her down. I smile when she looks at me and wraps her arms around my waist, and we both look back at Ronan.

“I love her more than anything in this world, but I’m not ready to have another one yet.” she whispers, and I look at her, “I love our little world as three.”

“I do too,” I whisper back, then I lean down to kiss her, “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

Inhaling deeply, Y/N takes my hand and leads me to our bedroom where she sits down and pulls me next to her on the bed, “I want to have more kids. We’ve talked about this.”

“Why are you trying to justify your reaction like I’m upset?”

“I don’t want you to think I don’t want more kids.”

I tilt my head as I look at her, then I chuckle as I lean over to kiss her, “I know you want more. I do too! It’s just not time. I’m finally getting you back, I’m finally able to just have you to myself sometimes. You went through so much with this first pregnancy, and I don’t want you to go through all of that again unless you’re ready.”

Y/N smiles as she nods, “Yeah.”

“I love you, and I know you love being a mom,” I reach for her hand and press a kiss to it, “It’s just not time for another baby yet, and I’m completely fine with that. I think we’re both still trying to get used to how things work with a baby, and every month she’s learning something new and things are constantly changing. Plus with only one baby, I can get away with sneaking you off to the bedroom more often.”

“Yeah, very true.” she laughs, nodding her head as she leans over to kiss me.

I hold her gaze for a moment, then I nod to the bed and smirk, “Shall we?”

We both look over when we hear a knock on the glass sliding doors, and we wave at Jimmy. He slides the door open and sticks his head in as he waves.

“You guys coming for the bonfire?”

“Yeah, we’ll be right out.” Y/N says, then she looks at me and laughs, “Maybe we should wait for everyone to be asleep.”

I nod my head as I laugh, “Yeah.”

The sun has set, the kids are down, and now all the adults are outside for a bonfire. Bev never misses a moment to boast about her girls and tell embarrassing stories, and she’s making us all laugh telling us about the time Y/N got so sick at school that she needed to be picked up.

“Oh, she smelled horrid.” she says, and Y/N puts her head in her hands as she laughs. “The poor thing just couldn’t stop puking and then it was coming out of both ends. My poor baby was just a stinky crying mess when I picked her up. She ended up having a really bad stomach bug and was out of school for about two weeks. I remember when we needed to take a fecal sample to the hospital for testing, she nearly cried because she didn’t want the ‘boy doctor’ to look at it.”

“Hey! I was embarrassed!” Y/N says, and I chuckle as I look at her, “I was like…7.”

Bev smiles, “You just kept saying ‘no, he’s a boy doctor! Don’t give the boy doctor my poop!’ Everyone in the lobby was trying not to laugh, and the poor thing just cried. They ended up having a female nurse come take it to save the poor thing from the humiliation.”

Y/N laughs, “I’ll be sure to save Ro the childhood trauma and not pass her poop off to the boy doctor.”

I laugh as I rub her arm, then I lean down to kiss her head, “I know you have some embarrassing stories about Tess.”

“Hey!” Tess playfully yells and reaches over to shove my shoulder.

“Of course I do.” Bev laughs, then she shakes her head, “But I won’t do that to her.”

Y/N scoffs jokingly, “Oh, so you’re just going to tell my husband that I shit my pants one time but you’re not going to tell any of Tess’ embarrassing stories. Wow, I see who the favorite is.”

Tess puffs her chest up and flips her hair, then she nudges Y/N’s shoulder, “Nah, mom always said she never had a favorite.”

It’s actually really cool how Bev has always made it seem like Tess is her biological daughter. Y/N takes so much pride is having her as a big sister too. It’s cool that they accepted Tess into the family despite not being blood, and it was nice that I immediately felt at home with them too. They’ve always made me feel so comfortable, and I know it’s because Bev is just a really good woman. I’m glad that Y/N was brought up by her because she’s raised incredible daughters and now Y/N gets to help raise ours.

“Hey,” Jimmy comes out of the house and looks at us, “Ro-Ro is crying.”

Y/N laughs, “Ro-Ro?”

“Yeah, I mean, you got a nickname for Finny. I had to think of one too.” he laughs as he shrugs, “It was Ro-Ro or Rowey.”

“Well,” Y/N tilts her head, “I won’t lie, Rowey is kind of cute.”

I laugh as I get up with her, then we head downstairs to check on Ronan. As soon as we get to the door, Ronan reaches out for her mom and juts her bottom lip out.

“Oh, I know. Momma and daddy are here.” Y/N whispers as she picks her up and bounces her a little, and Ronan lays against her chest and sucks her thumb.

“I think she just needed her momma.” I whisper, then I grab Ronan’s blanket, “She can come upstairs with us.”

Y/N nods, “She’ll probably fall asleep again. She’s just been a little clingy.”

I wrap the blanket around Ronan as we head back outside, and I wait for them to sit down before I sit next to them and make sure they’re both warm. I wrap my arm around Y/N’s shoulder and rub her arm to warm her up, then I smile when she looks at me.

Ronan’s eyes are growing heavy as Y/N rubs her back and slowly rocks her from side to side, and I smile when I see Ronan’s eyes finally flutter shut as her thumb falls out of her mouth. I reach over and rub her back before leaning over to kiss her forehead, then I kiss Y/N and smile at her.

“We love you,” she whispers, and I smile again.

“I love you both.”

Holding tight to Y/N, I rub her arm and listen to the conversations being had, and I smile as I look around at everyone. My family. My perfect little family.

#john wick x reader #john wick x you #john wick x y/n #john wick imagine #fic: hold my hand #tbh i'm not thrilled with this chapter but whatever...#it's shorter than i'd usually write but i knew i wanted john and her to have That moment #anyway hope you like it!#if you don't please don't tell me lmao #i hope you're all staying safe and warm i love yall

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