#hopefully having some notes will help

[stranded-in-the-gobi-desert]

hello....... xiyao hunger games au........ pls say more

are they both tributes

hello anon u have opened a can of worms i have been thinking abt this au for over a year. my xiyao hunger games au.... theyre technically both tributes, just not in the same games..?

they meet each other as victors, a few days after meng yao wins his games, as he waits for his victor interview with ceaser flickerman.

lan xichen had won the games previous to this, dominating both the in-game and out-of-game play, his early life career training from belonging to district 1 combined with his 'prince charming' aura makes him a favourite for the capitoltes, who clamour to sponsor him, and a BEAST in the games.

meng yao, who was not of a fan of the games as so much he saw it as an egregious feat of capitol power, and a fascinating lesson in propaganda, watched this with both awe and an analytical eye.

he would not volunteer for the games (he's neither stupid nor suicidal), but if the opportunity came to either rise up from the poor life he's living in district 11, or give his mother one less mouth to feed, he'd grab the chance with both hands.

they won in contrasting ways, due to their very different backgrounds and personalities

lan xichen won with honour (as much as children killing other children can be considered honourable). mainting his single alliance with his district mate until the end, winning with a final sword duel that had the capitolites swooning in their seats. he's the image of perfection, a low kill count leaves little blood to mar his image.

meng yao won with deception, almost all his kills coming from either literal or figurative backstabbing. as one of the underdogs, and malnourished 15 years old from district 11, he wouldnt win in a straight fight with most tributes, let alone the careers. despite this, he left a bloody trail behind him to become victor, with 2 direct and 4 infirect kills under his belt. (he's still a capitol darling, as most victors are, but in a more - we like you right now but we can and will turn on you if you make a slight mistake)

meng yao did not expect to win once reaped and is struggling to deal with being alive when he thought he'd be dead, so is having a minor breakdown waiting to be interviewed.

lan xichen decides to visit the new victor and give them some advice on how to deal with the victory tour and [gestures vageuly to capitol] that, and kindly interrupts the start of said breakdown. this somehow leads into mimicking the iconic hand-caressing-intense-eye-contact-meeting scene from cql (i love the scenet too much not to include it).

ANYWAYS this is getting too long now, but just know that meng yao had a MASSIVE crush on lan xichen as he watched him win his games, and if it weren't for his mini breakdown whilst waiting to be interviewed he would totally be internally fangirling, and that lan xichen is completealy enamoured with meng yao after meeting him once.

they become a favourite capitol pairing (not couple just yet), constrasting heights and images creating a perfect pair (this is self indulgeant).

hopefully this makes some sense to u anon, and u enjoyed the rambling

#wiggles asks #xiyao #lan xichen #meng yao #apologies this got so long anon i rambled sm #i love hunger games au sm i always end up planning one for every fandom i get into #as per usual this took me like an hour to write akldsfjg #hopefully u found some of this interesting #nie mingjue is the next year's victor (i cant help 3zun ok.) and the three of them do become tentative friends #i have an excel spreadsheet planning meng yao;s games out adklfsjghr #although meng yao did kill of one nie mingjue's friends (? more like they trained together.. coworker??) so thats some beef they have #its mostly one sided at the beginning bc nmj gets annoed at my when he watches them bc he doesnt quite grasp the reality of the games until #he enters (and then has complicated feelings abt it once he examines them) #oh also jgs is a former victor thats also why my is interested in the games #i would have made them both tributes but i cant handle that level of drama and planning. #im saying that as if i dont have a full spreadsheet and 10 different notes planning the timeline a;dklsfjg

[irritablepoe]

ok i wrote a little over 1k words today, somebody tell me they're proud of me :')

#THE TAGS ARE LONG SO BE WARNED!!! #and it's mostly ramblings so not a vent post #i have a good feeling about this draft #i mean i just started a new one but i have kind of a much clearer idea what i'm doing now #i have a notebook where i put a timeline of all the events and it's so helpful #though i have SOOOOO MUCH fantasy names and shit that i invented like a year ago and even though i have all the origins of the names noted #i have little idea how i got there #i even invented a whole calender that i'll use in this story (hopefully) and i'm so proud of this omg #i hope i get this draft finished one day bc it would be a really cool high fantasy book if i do it right yk #AND I'M SO PROUD OF MY MAGIC SYSTEM #it's reaaaaallly complex and i spend weeks figuring it out #though it's been a while since i wrote anything in this project and i don't have all the information on paper (in the notebook) yet #so the information is kinda spread throughout all the documents that i started for like little oneshots scenes and beginnings and stuff #and i have to find them all :') #but creating is soooo fun #but writing is a pain since march for some reason #i had a lot on my plate but also... that normally helped? #well i hope i'll get to write in september bc of semester break #i looked at my progress chart-thingy over the year and i wrote so much in feburary ;-; #i want this back plsssss #nowadays i only get to do like one poem in 2-3 days (and not even that!) and 90% of them are shit #ANYWAYS #thank you for reading all this if you did <3 #this was just me rambling lmao #i haven't posted much today aaaahhh but well i'm very tired and in pain :( #i wish weekends were longer man #period.cramps.are.shit. #personal

[arolesbianism]

So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing

#rat rambles #oni posting #for now I must sleep but hopefully tomorrow Ill figure out how to decompile files #the real question is going to be if Ill be able to do this on my shitty ass laptop or if Ill need to figure smth else out #I just want to be able to view stuff so ideally it won't make my laptop chug too bad but rly Im more worried abt space #I might have to try to do some cleanup and delete some shit maybe Ill go scan through the shit that came pre installed #and hey maybe if I can get this to work I can go mega hacker mode and tweak some stuff for funsies #probably wont since I don't wanna break my game and I dont trust myself but yknow #itd probably help if I actually retained any information from the Two programing classes I took when I was younger but alas #one of them was even specifically a video game programming class and lemme tell you I remember absolutely nothing #also from what little I was able to view without fancy applications I have no new info but I can finally fully put jean in the we 100% know #their last name zone cause while we definitely already 100% did Technically we only got jea- for first name confirmation #but theyre referred to as jean in a note in a bio bot story traits file ty whoever added the notes there #god I hope theres other notes in the files I want to read those so bad #btw this was all spurred by that one nails log that disappeared cause I have found a file that looks like it but I cant fully view it #and I desperately need to view it I need to view it #also if I can look in the code then in theory itll make copying down all the lore logs easier #also the datamining thread of the forums hasnt been particularly active so who knows maybe I can become a proper dataminer #(<- will not do that probably unless it turns out to be easier than I thought) #but admittedly I am interested in hunting for potential future update content even if I probably won't hunt too hard for it #again Im mostly just hunting for lore #hey maybe if Im lucky Ill find some genuinely new and usable information in that department #maybe the secrets of b363 and dr. holland lie in the files ooooo (they probably dont) #man it'd be nice if I had a proper pc itd make my life so much easier and my desk feel less enpty lol #in a world where I get to play videogames at a higher framerate than 10fps #I mean we do have some older computers laying around the house although theyre probably also crusty pieces of shit #idk maybe I can see if I can salvage one itd be nice to have a proper computer to fuck about with #Im sure my mom wouldn't mind as long as its one that hasnt been touched in years #which tbf I dont know how many options thatd leave me but we at least have one computer that could theoretically be usable #albiet its definitely packed with viruses from me and my siblings being dumb kids

[greyias]

Tagged by: @captainderyn -- thank you for the tag! Tagging: @meanbihexual, @keldae, @queen-scribbles (no pressure!) From the little au that could...

—

Valkorion had looked down at his progeny with ill-disguised contempt, lightning dancing at the tips of his fingers as he attempted to silence what he saw as the only threat in the room. He didn’t even look up until the cold barrel of a blaster buried itself at the base of his skull.

Which brought Theron back to where he wasn’t supposed to be.

Here.

Standing in someone else’s moment, stepping into a destiny that wasn’t his, and about to set into motion a cascade of events he had no hope of understanding. He was a disgraced spy. A Jedi washout. The Force-blind son of someone else’s greatness. A man always destined to live in the shadow of others.

“Do you really think that pathetic toy will hurt me?”

#thank you for the tag! #i haven't written much in the way of new words #but i finally carved out some time and brainpower on thurs/fri to actually do a breakdown on the internal arc #going chapter by chapter #making embarrassing notes as if i was explaining internal motivations to a five year old #but i think it helped? #because chapters 2 and 3 felt very flat when i started editing them #so i kind of have an idea of maybe a way to spruce up the internal narrative so it's got a bit more oomph to it #another snippet from the first chapter that's been written for over five years #the only one that's really ready for prime time #me sitting on my hands to not just start posting it #my new promise to myself is i have to at least get the first draft to the swamp #let's see how well i keep that promise ;) #(hopefully better than theron does in this dang thing) #(because after spending my time so deep in character analysis my god he's a mess in this) #(like moreso than usual) #outlander!theron au #(me having to change the au tag because this is what i keep typing when i don't remember) #greywip #six sentence sunday #sunday six

[tierracottas]

#typing this as i listen to javelin #the past few weeks haven't been the kindest but i am trying to rid myself of the notion that help is something to reach for #only when things are past enduring... when that shouldn't be the case just because i can and i have #it's been this reminder among many others #so on that note i'm trying to book an initial psych consultation soon hopefully before the year ends #which isn't easy because of the few doctors in the field + financial concerns #and it's a painful experience in itself to tread through all the limitations and obstacles of the medical world #it isn't something i already have a good relationship with in the first place but it's worth trying in hopes of some ease #anyway if you're reading this i love you and i am wishing sweeter days ahead for us

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Fandom things I'm looking forward to:

Kingdom Hearts IV and Missing Link

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth

Final Fantasy IX Remake

Final Fantasy Tactics Remaster or Remake (whichever it is. I've heard both things)

The fourth Madoka Magica movie, whenever that comes out (seriously. Where is it? First it was announced as the Concept movie. Then it was re-announced years later with a new name, and it's still missing)

The Percy Jackson TV show

The Infernal Devices TV show

Maybe the Twilight TV show. Maybe.

The animated Smallville continuation that Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum are working on, whenever it comes out

I was going to put Baron and Toluca on this list (that's, like, a spiritual successor to the OG "Roswell" TV show. Majandra Delfino who played Maria in the show wrote the script, and she and Brendan Fehr who played Michael star in it. They're also planning for more Roswell cameos in later episodes), but it came out and I didn't even know it? But I have no idea how to watch it, though, as I guess it only came out in theaters in Albuquerque. Here's hoping it comes out on DVD or something...

The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes

The alleged Firefly reboot

The new Daredevil show

The Batman Part II

The next part in Tom Holland's Spider-Man movies

The DCU, starting with Superman Legacy in 2025

The Five Nights at Freddy's movie and Help Wanted 2

The Iron Lung movie

The TV show that it sounds like Markiplier will be working on after he's done with the Iron Lung movie

The next Bendy and the Ink Machine thing being worked on

MAYBE the Hello Neighbor sequel. I know. I KNOW! (It's really only because the second game had to end on a cliffhanger.)

Five Nights at Candy's 4

Frozen III

Disney's "Wish"

The next and final season of the Clear Card arc of Cardcaptor Sakura

The new Avatar series (the one about the third Avatar in the cycle: the Earth bender)

The live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender series, perhaps

The Chosen season 4

#As for things that haven't been announced #Ffxvi when that of course happens #The ffx remake if that rumor is true #I'm still hoping we'll get one more season of full metal panic to finish off the show. Please don't end things on a cliffhanger! #And no matter what I'll forever and always be pulling for a twewy3. Please give it to us Square. Pretty Please? With sugar on top? #I also still (mostly? Kind of?) wish we had a new Buffy show to look forward to. but alas. maybe someday #also after khiv nomura's all but confirmed that next is a verum Rex. And I'm. Like. Already pre-excited for that if that makes sense. Lol #And I don't know how to feel about the new death note movie adaptation I want to have faith in the Russo brothers but mostly I'm afraid #And I just- I LOVE death note. You all KNOW I love death note. But I just don't know what can be done with the story that hasn't already #been done #Unless you just completely change it and then piss off all of us fans. Again #I said it once and I'll say it again: i wish they were making a code grass movie instead (which has the beats they're looking to adapt in #death note. but other stuff too. and has never gotten a live-action adaptation so at least if nothing else it would be original) #there's also a part of me that wants to get caught up on winx club and see if this new season (that's maybe a soft reboot? but don't quote #me on that) will be better than some of the last ones and start getting the series in the direction in needs to be going again. hopefully #and isn't there some new pokémon season coming out where brock and misty reunite with ash (i read an article about it) which confuses me #because i thought the show ended? #unless the article was just talking about an english dub of the season that already aired in japan or something like that #i also should really get caught up on all of the sailor moon crystal stuff. shame on me for not being so! #somewhat. kind of. the next garten of banban game. God help me #kindergarten 3 if there ever is one #slayers: a buffyverse story would have been on here if they hadn't announced it after i made this list and if i'd remembered to come back #and add it. but i listened to it and loved it:)

[loverofallthingssmart]

[ID: Two images. The first is a 5x5 bingo card, titled "how many interests/likes do you share with eesha!!" In order from right to left, the card reads: Row 1: fruit and vegetable enthusiast, casual enjoyer of sports but in a nonathletic way, stuffed animals, stand up comedy, writer (nonpracticing) Row 2: hoarder, music taste? all over the place, reading is my everything, color theory, dressing on theme to go see movies in theatres Row 3: hater and a lover <3, media analysis, free space, stem girlie (gender neutral), rice lover Row 4: arts and crafts, very very loud and opinionated like incredibly so, baking, always craving something soft and sweet, fashion Row 5: aquariums <3, boba <3, haunted houses; houses that are alive; ghosts and phantoms, winning trophies and medals <3, graphic design is my passion The second image is that same bingo card, except it is blank and nothing has been filled out. /end ID]

hi guys jumping on the bandwagon <3

#a few notes guys ! #the arts and crafts counts as ANYTHING u do with ur hands to make smth #like i helped make my dad a support structure for his plants using wood and yarn and cut rubber bands that counts as arts and crafts to me #causal enjoyer of sports means i do do some sports (and theyre barely sports imo) but mostly i like to watch most sports casually #shouldve put my cantshutupitis there too but i think its apparent in boththe fact that most of those squares have too many words and the #fact that i have NOTES on what i put in those squares #also hopefully the alt text works......... #okay thats it send me them please mwah

[gaytobymeres]

i think my work style is too chaotic to have orderly research notes like ive compiled them into a word doc and ive got them in a notebook but its so painful trying to get it to work for me lmao. i have to submit a work log/diary as well at the end of this project so like good luck to whomever gets the joy of marking that

#this system is awful btw like having loose bits of paper and post it notes is not helpful for me!! but it works for my brain better than #putting it all in a word doc in some sort of order #the only easy part are all the maps which are in chronological order #anyway hopefully by the end of the day i will have a document with all my research helpfully laid out

[f4therfucker]

hi, the world makes me sad and the sex education a lot of people receive makes me sadder.

i work in an adult superstore. so i sell like sex toys and all that good stuff.

lemme give you a quick run down of some hygiene/health things. this isn’t everything to know, just some things off the top of my head.

piss after you have sex. you can get UTIs like that.

you should be cleaning every toy after every time you use it. preferably using a toy cleaner. water and soap is ok, but toy cleaner will be better for your toys. just wipe the toy down with the cleaner, and you’re good.

- some decent brands include; swiss navy (they also have body wipes and cleaner), cal exotics is a p decent brand in general, jo has a foaming toy cleaner.   - some toys, like dildos or strokers (or packers, i know they aren’t sex toys, but this info is relevant to them too), need a refresh powder. use cornstarch. it’s cheaper and basically the same thing as doc johnson’s ultraskyn - how to use refresh powder - clean the toy, let it dry, smother that shit in powder and rub it in until it feels nice and soft again.

be careful with flavored condoms and lube. a lot of them have glycerin, which can cause yeast infections and other bacterial infections when used vaginally. when used anally, it can still give you a yeast infection (yes, you can get a yeast infection your ass) or it can give you the shits (glycerin can be used to help with constipation, i think. idk how it works i know sex stuff, thats out of my realm of expertise.)

- there are a few flavored condoms and lube and are safe. sensuva is a good brand in that they don’t use glycerin. flavor is up to personal preference. i personally like it, but others don’t. - if the flavored condoms or lube in question are being used for oral sex on a penis it doesn’t matter so much. (note - there are always exceptions. if your dick has dry skin or something, you’ll wanna stay away from glycerin - it’ll make it more irritated. you’ll wanna use something waterbased, bud.)

please, please, holy fuck i beg of you never use glow-in-the-dark condoms. i know they’re a good meme but they are super fucking ineffective. just fucking worthless truly. they have the same issues as flavored condoms. they really don’t protect against std’s or anything. please stay away from them.

dental dams are good for performing oral sex on a vagina or anus. they can protect against diseases, are some are flavored.

- flavored dental dams are ok because the flavored bit doesn’t touch with the mucus membrane. that’s the part your/your partner’s mouth touches. - if you don’t wanna buy them but have condoms you can make a dental dam out of a condom.

------

if any of this was unclear or your curious about anything, please lemme know! i will be happy to answer any question you may have. i do not mind awkward questions.

#sex education #sex ed #not the show #i wanna help you fuck good #but also how to be hygienic and shit about it #just a side note but there is some dude just tweakin outside my fuckin apartment #hopefully he doesn't do some fuck shit #idk if he fucked off #rip me if h doesn't #if you have any questions post related lemme know #also do me a favor and ignore my horrendous formatting

[noxtivagus]

rinoa n squall i love them so much they're the cutest 🥺

#🌙.rambles #[ ffviii. ] #i was working for. a few minutes then i got distracted oops >.> #THEY'RE SO CUTE #i rlly have to play ffviii. Soon. hopefully #the way rinoa teases squall . they're so cute #yk the kinda like. thoughts stuff they do in dialogue #they did that too for ffxiv with eden w gaia iirc. #i. relate a lot w both rinoa n squall help #randomly thinking abt them bcs i can't even rmb how but i came across a video n both of them were in it for a bit #OH i was watching smth abt. video game music hdakflsdjf head empty just video games n music 😭😭 #n squall smiling at rinoa. that was so sweet #i love final fantasy so much i went to my notes rq n i have some of their quotes written down there #n i scrolled a bit n i saw zack too >< i really. want to play. ccr when i can. #hmmm. i want to do a lot rn but i also just. want to sleep T_T but i have stuff to do for tmrrw #when you're. a kid. way younger. it's like you have all the time in the world #those days seem so long ago n it hurts sometimes thinking of. how we can't really ever return to them #but #🥹 idk reading the dialogue between rinoa n squall comforts me so much #i see so much of myself in both of them. esp rinoa i think when i'm not sad myself #DAMN THOUGH BRO 'You smiled when our eyes met. It made me feel calm / tranquil. Rinoa....' #their dialogue is so wholesome it just makes me happy #final fantasy is. rlly just a big comfort to me. it's been there ever since i was a kid yk? #from the ones i don't have though. i really really want to play ffviii. excluding ffxiv.. rinoa's my fav from the girls #actually. even including ffxiv. rinoa & zero & gaia & ysayle r all on the same level for me #'We'll be waiting. Like I said / who knows what's gonna happen in the future... but I have a feeling we'll be together for a while.' #RINOA ^^ n then at the end w the future stuff n staying tgther squall going 'those were your words' THEY'RE SO DEAR TO ME #sorry i cope with fiction i don't want to think too much uwahfdkhfsklfjk i'm so sleepy

[inquisitorius-sin-bin]

.

#ugh once again trapped in my own head today #its a work day so it doesnt really matter anyways #but i just feel so discouraged lately #my follower count is plummeting and I can barely break like 30 notes on most art pieces I spend hours and hours on #i know i mostly draw for my own sake but it still kind of hurts sometimes #i think this is why i gave up in the first place #but i have some requests to get to tonight to hopefully help shake off the funk #because I DO like making art that makes others happy and it challenges me and helps me improve #so that is something too

[boredymcbored]

Let's Vent

cause IDK if this will see the light of day but I'm upset.

You're sad. You're miserable. You're so easily fixable too. But only indulge in the sad huh?

Like my mess of a room. My weight gain (I'm surprised I'm not more upset at that for all the work I've done). Your loneliness. Cause you were lead on by a woman to join a friend group that you desperately needed (nefariously). Then were lead on again by a woman to join a friend group you desperately needed (genuine?). And you can't step away cause you're So Dang Likable! (TM) and you also love those people and need them cause you're so dang lonely.

Which is also your fault. Cause even after seeing two close friends in caskets, you can't get over your guilt of not being there the last couple of years for your HS friends and think it's best to remove yourself from their grace cause they're better off without you. Even though they keep saying they miss you.

And it's not just your highschool, but college friends too. You know of one person that always forgives your proclivities to self isolate and still be there but you can only text him sports ball shit. Still haven't told him when you'd call back btw. And yes he's your best friend the world has ever gifted you, but he's not yours. For that reason.

You can't even get solace from your incredibly worried mother cause she is quarantined from you because you actually decided not be be a recluse and hang out with friends. But they tested positive for covid. Now you're cut off from the person that can smell your sadness from miles away cause you can't even socialize with friends right before leading you to more isolation. At least you dodge her looks of pity and concern a few days, huh?

And now you beg for a sports ball team you like to be playing a game so that you can dissociate with the parasocial environment of twitter and reddit to FEEL at least somewhat fulfilled in the social department right? But it's social junk food and you know it. The artificial connections that you formed are not meaningful and you can act like it adds validity to some type of work that you've done in the past cause PREVIOUSLY people noticed it but now you don't have much of an aura of notability now do ya? Probably cause you're not on TV and only seem to be doing the same couple jobs with no career growth.

Not that you even want that growth do you? Cause you could be applying but are letting something that potentially ruined your ability to smoothly get hired or just traverse through the world weigh on you. And TBF the weight of that will now stick with you. That INCREDIBLY stupid thing that was non consequential has been a dark cloud over you for 3 years and won't go away cause of forces out of your control. ONE thing you can't control in this vent.

But you can control how fucking sad you get when you don't answer work questions right away and your mind starts to replay the words you've found hard to push out your mind "You can never do shit. You don't do shit". That woman that was supposed to support you, that you went through hell and shame to earn, told you that shit after you gave up so much of your self to help her, while you were fucking spiraling. And she broke you, didn't she? All the confidence that you were just starting to rebuild brick by brick was once again laid askew. You still haven't built it back either. From doing the world to barely being functional, that shit broke you in ways that you still are struggling with today. Guess you don't do shit after all.

My brain isn't rational rn. It'll say things that aren't all the way true or are heavily influenced by my loneliness, my anxieties, my fears and general unhappiness that I have rn in life. It's bringing up all my childhood traumas and insecurities to front and center stage and I just ... And it's no one else's fault that I'm feeling this way. But I feel neglected. And scared. of what i'd do. And my rationality. It's stopping me from being dramatic. Like right now I'm screaming to myself BITCH STOPPPP being so dramatic. And knowing my goofy ass, even with all my tears and fears, I smile as I write this..

But I know it's coping. It's self soothing. It's just me playing survivor man. Les Stroud at your service. Spending 7 days in the deep Andrea mindfuck wilderness. Scary, I know.

Cause the instinct to call for friends. Or call for help. Has taken over by the big bad that is my mind. And it's winning. And eating my life away. By doom scrolling. Making content and never releasing it. Having ideas and never doing it. Good ideas too man. So much creativity. And a gift. Ruined by a brain hungry to dim the light I'm holding on for dear life.

This is not a cry for help. I've been a lot more sad. A lot more crazy. Nothing is like being in the bathroom of my dorm after continuous isolation and identity issues, just trying to rip myself out of my body and away from the negative voices that were screaming at me to hurt myself. Everything was so grey then.

I still see color. I can find joy in the media I consume, despite the immense guilt I feel afterwards for not doing much else but that. Steph Curry is playing well? That makes me happy. I streamed. That was pleasant as well.

I feel like a waste of space but there's SOME rational part of me that reads all of what I wrote and KNOWS it's a lie. And I pray that I never lose that voice cause it's a DAMN good voice. I know I am the reason for most of these things, but not even in a bad way. In a way I can fix if I work on myself, one step at a time.

I just need hope to pull that out. And idk where to find it. I'll have to be the one to pull it, I know. I just need.. I don't know. But I need. And I feel pathetic for being so needy. And wanting. And being so unstable. But I NEED. And I don't know where I've gonna get my need from..

I just hope I find it soon.

#idk why but I'll hit the post button #I'll look back on this in a couple years and feel cringe about it #hopefully #that's what I've done looking at the sad posts I've had other years #“if only she knew how good it'd get” I'd think #hope it's the case here? #even while writing this I have a smile #a sad one but #ever since I've discovered it once I get in these funks exercise holds me over #but I can't do house stuff cause of quarantine and can't run cause my knees #bulgarian squats on my bed then? #bulgarian it is! #I love I can still make myself smile in the hell #despite the scary words I feel SO much better getting those thoughts out my brain if only for a moment #allowing the negative monkey voice to speak isn't bad. just believing it is #i almost completely deleted this and also made it private but no #just note this is extremely jaded because of my emotional state and has some moments of gross exaggerating cause of it #sometimes time helps you sort through emotional vomit and reality #i fear I'm not out of meltdowns like this cause something like this was almost posted like 4 days prior but its a vent for a reason

[losingluckynumbers]

It seems I've been "shadowbanned". :(

(Post pinned until this curse is lifted.)

#at least to some degree I'm not sure how this works it has never happened before during these 10+ years #but now tumblr has hidden the fact I exist and I'm not able to communicate with anyone or even appear in the notes #I'm sad and alone (now both irl and online *insert the This Is Fine meme*) #idk why I'm even posting this no one will probably see it #I contacted the staff hopefully it's just a glitch and they can (and have time to) fix it #...guess I'll just keep tumblring* anyway how else am I supposed to kill time #I broke my leg so I'm stuck inside with very limited activity options #why is my life like this staff please help #jo:unscripted #(*actually I take that back this “shadowban” just makes tumblr feel completely pointless and depressing #I know I joke about yelling into a void here and I'm used to it but damn... this is too much)

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

Another Update!! Wahooo!! Juno has been trying so so so hard to keep his resolve, but is it working? is it realllyyyy working??? i think not. 

(general fic summary under the cut)

A tall, willowy figure holds Small Fry close to his chest. One hand supporting the rabbit’s body, the other scratching between her lovely floppy ears. Dressed in a flowy blouse and dark slack, sweat sticks to his chest. The cut of the blouse draws attention to his collarbones. His hair is a mess, grey streaks of hair sticking out on the sides. Far from its usual perfect put together coif. Likely due to the heat, possibly something else.. Nails neatly manicured, kept short with a glossy finish. Gold jewelry catches the light streaming in from the windows creating glare in the small glasses poised on the tip of his nose. No make-up, not even Rubus lipstick. The air smells stale. Faint hints of booze, lingering cigarette smoke, and charred vegetables.

And nothing else.

(the 36 questions au that like- two, maybe three other people have been waiting on over on tumblr. in which Juno is Jase, Peter is Natalie/Judith but the lines get swapped and blurred and in general Juno is Not Having It.)

#tpp 36 questions au #the penumbra podcast #the penumbra fanfic #we're so close to the end folks! #nearly there!! #at least. close to the end of this fic for the series #as i said in the author's notes i got some rewriting i wanna do for chapter 6 #hopefully to fit chapter 5 in a bit better and help bridge the story to continue for the next six questions #or hell who knows I might come back and scrap chapter 5 and have rewritten it and keep chapter 6 #a hotboy's writing #tpp

[15000bugs]

want to worm my way into my mutuals’ discord server(s?) and make new friends SO bad but i cant just like.. ask them to add me when weve never even had a conversation 😭 the crazy thing is im worried they might actually be intimidated by me o_o bc im slowly becoming a big writer in this fandom and my aforementioned ‘famous mutual’ is also the person who has said my fic is literally their favorite in the whole fandom 😭 which like.. im so honored esp bc this person is SO COOL but also…… i fear they might think IM too cool to talk to them. which is crazy bc i am the LEAST cool guy ever

#hopefully my insane grantposting will eventually help them realize that im actually super lame #im not THAT big of a writer compared to some others #but mine is one of the only recent/ongoing longfics in the fandom tag #and also my tumblr posts tend to do pretty well #on new episode days anyway #but i dont want people to think im like. FAMOUS or anything #i have like 20 followers and get an average of maybe 2 notes on non-episode days 😭 #and none of my fics do particularly well except The Big One #again. not that i care about that #i just #idk I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO THINK IM SCARY! im not scary.. im silly #im just a silly guy #:3c

[omgeto]

oh you wanna play psycho killer? can i be the helpless victim...

｡･:*˚:✧｡ authors note — my first kinktober!! ahh go crazy. i will try my best to write good smut for you people. here's my master list so you can see what im cooking up for you guys. i might add some more but for now here it is... MDNI!!

OCTOBER 1ST...

THRILL(h)ER — satosugu x reader

when watching a scary movie with your two best friends, you cant help but hold onto them tight every time you get jumpscared. but as the night goes on and your fingers roam... wait, what movie were you watching again?

cw: threesome (duh), double penetration, blowjobs, spanking, praise & degredation

OCTOBER 7TH...

your 'ONLY FAN' — dilf neighbour!toji x cam girl!reader

when you're a top cam girl, your used to having thousands of people watching you every night. yet among the masses, theres one fan that stands out. he not only is a high tipper but is someone you happen to know all too well. and he's about to go to long lengths to prove to you that he's the only fan of yours that matters.

cw: toji breaks into your house and blows your back out. facefucking, slight choking, use of toys, consensual sex tape making, sight breeding.

OCTOBER 14TH...

when you fuck your older neighbour — nanami, toji, geto, gojo

on the way to a halloween party, you just couldn't help but put a little pep in your step as your strut past your older neighbours house. and he can't help notice how tight and tiny your outfit is — it can barely fit. not that it matters anyway... it'll be off of you before the clock strikes 11...

cw: age gap (duh), spanking, nipple play, face riding, dick riding, all types of riding

OCTOBER 21st...

a quiet place — nanami x babysitter!reader

after returning from trick or treating with his kids, your 'boss' can't help but beg you stay the night with him. hoping to give you a 'treat' of his own. but shhh... you can't get too loud, his kids are sleeping.

cw: breeding, raw sex, talks of pregnancy, a whole lotta cum

OCTOBER 31st...

"CULT?... i thought this was a bathroom." — geto x reader

on a drunken halloween night you thought you were stumbling your way into the bathroom of a club, but you end up stumbling into the lap of a cult leader. and he doesn't like people like you. instead of doing what he usual does to your 'kind' he decides to punish you a different way — in front of all of his followers.

cw: public sex, major degradation, dark content... (slay)

so what do you think. what do you think of the banner? I tried really hard to make this whole thing so hopefully you guys love the layout AND THE FIC IDEAS. which one are you most exited for lmk :) also don’t use my header pls and thanks THERE IS NO TAGLIST &lt;;33

#stampedwithane★ #jjk x reader #jjk smut #toji x reader #geto x reader #gojo x reader #nanami x reader #toji smut #geto smut #nanami smut #gojo smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk fic #toji fushiguro smut #geto suguru smut #gojo satoru smut #nanami kento smut